#ugh its so sad how everything needs to be clarified these days

[pricklynoodle]

real or not real

Itadori Yuji/Fushiguro Megumi pairing | Squid Game AU | Rated T | warning: implied character death | ANGST

( yes, writing instead of doing school lol, squid game ruined me so if you want to read this then be warned of SQUID GAME SPOILERS. There's no graphic death, but its sad as hell either way TT)

---

“The player who takes all ten marbles from your partner wins.”

Megumi had always kept to himself, never saying anything unless spoken to, never stuck to groups, and never took the choice to attach himself to something. Everything had an expiration date. Unnecessary things like friendships had never appealed to him. He only needed his sister, and it wasn’t like she had the choice to have him as her brother. But the fact that she still stuck around caring for him until she worked herself to a coma.

So honestly, it’s a surprise why he feels his heart drop when the announcement tells him he has to go against … whatever 310 is to him.

He hardly knows 310, and doesn't know anything about his life actually. Other than that he’s crazy strong, has an impressive pain tolerance, but also the loudest kid he’s ever met. He's always around him, sticking to Megumi like a persistent piece of gum stuck to his shoe. But he doesn't dislike him, but he can't say he's thrilled with him either.

But would Megumi kill him?

Stupid, he tells himself.

“Oh, fuck, I honestly didn’t see that coming,” 310 says with a grimace, looking at Megumi guiltily as if he was the cause of Megumi’s inner turmoil. He sits down on one of the stone benches. The whole setup was supposed to mimic a typical neighborhood, something Megumi wasn’t fortunate enough to grow up in. The bastards even made the effort to add in the sounds of cicadas from the fake trees, as if this was a completely normal summer for a couple of teens.

Megumi doesn’t say anything, he feels dizzy. He drops down to the bench, away from 310 as possible.

“I’ve always wanted to say this,” 310 says as he rests his elbows on his knees, looking at Megumi seriously, “This whole thing reminds me of Hunger Games.”

Megumi looks at him with furrowed brows.

“You know, Jennifer Lawrence?” 310 pushes. Megumi says nothing. “...Tall girl, big ass? The one with the arrows?”

“Can you shut the fuck up,” Megumi deadpans, then he shakes his head. He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He counts to ten, then glances down at his hand. 10 marbles. “Just tell me how to play this game.”

“I don’t know either,” 310 admits, sounding sheepish. He shrugs carelessly, “This is more of the games my gramps used to play, but he was too busy being sick to teach me though.”

Megumi looks up at 310. He looks tired, but nostalgic. Like he was thinking of a good memory.

310 perks up, grinning at Megumi brightly, “though they said that we can make our own rules. I’ll think of something.”

Megumi nods solemnly. The silence stretches until 310 lets out an ‘aha!’.

“Let’s bet everything and just play one around,” 310 says, even dropping his fist down onto his hand as if it were the best idea ever.

Megumi freezes, staring at 310, was he going to trick him? He doesn’t even know him. They’re not friends. Of course, everything still is a death tournament at the end of the day.

310 seems to pick up Megumi’s reluctance, he jerks his head to the side. He points towards the pair of men competing against each other, looking frantic and panicked.Their faces are sheened with sweat, t-shirts drenched in sweat. It’s… it’s a pathetic sight.

“Fine,” Megumi relents. “What are we playing?”

“Calm down,” 310 chuckles, “are you that excited to kill me?”

Megumi stays quiet.

“We have a lot of time left,” 310 says breezily, pointing towards the timer mounted on the wall. “Let’s do it at the last minute.”

“What do you suggest we do till then?” Megumi asks with a scowl. “Sit nice and pretty, twiddle our thumbs and shove these marbles up our asses?”

“Jesus, man,” 310 laughs, “no just… talk.”

“Talk,” Megumi repeats.

“Talk,” 310 smiles, looking down at his hands. Megumi looks at them too. He remembers the hard calluses on them, when they shook hands. They’re thick and sturdy, and hold a lot of power. He really could have killed Megumi before, just wrap his hands around his neck and it’s all over.

Megumi also shakes away the filthy thoughts of what else those hands could do. Get a grip, Fushiguro.

“Things we couldn’t tell other people,” 310 says, smiling wistfully. “One of us is going to die here anyways.”

Megumi swallows the lump in his throat.

310 smiles wider. He’s always smiling, Megumi notes.

“There’s no reason to feel embarrassed if that’s the case,” 310 tells him, “I promise I won’t laugh when you blush like a tomato.”

“I don’t,” Megumi denies, but he can feel the heat already rising up to his cheeks.

“You do,” 310 says, “but I think it’s cute.”

Cute.

“So, uh, you have someone back home then?” 310 asks.

“Yeah,” Megumi says.

“...like a girlfriend or something?”

“Sister,” Megumi says quickly, “no...never a girlfriend. Impossible for me.”

“Ah, okay,” 310 says, nodding. “Just your sister?”

“I had a dad, but he … never came back.” Megumi confesses, “he was a shitty dad. He was never really home, but he gave us shelter and food. He had a bad temper, but he never hit us. He never liked to be around me especially. I … used to think he hated me.”

“What changed?” 310 asked.

“I… I became him. I understand why he did what he did,” Megumi says, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket. “Doing dirty jobs, stealing, never at home. Hiding from danger. Hiding us from danger. Protection.”

310 nodded, he slid closer to Megumi. Thighs brushing. Silence continues.

“He came here,” Megumi says, looking up at the ceiling. It’s painted a pink-orange gradient, like a sunset. “I found half of that business card in one of his jackets. The last two digits were cut off. I dialed every possible number until I got here.”

“For what?” 310 asks.

“Find him,” Megumi says, “punch him. I would have killed him, I think, if I found out that he left us to rot. Then steal all his money to pay for my sister’s medical bills.”

“Oh, she’s sick?”

“Coma,” Megumi clarifies. “Some rich bastard from work hit her on her way home. He got off easy because of money.”

“I see,” 310 says, clenching his fists. “That’s terrible.”

“Yeah,” Megumi says gruffly.

“You’re still getting money though,” 310 says. He doesn’t say but you don’t get your dad back. “What would you do with it?”

Megumi doesn’t even hesitate, “pay for my sister’s medical bills. Buy a nice house for us to live in. A car, if I can.”

“If you can?” 310 says, “where would you drive your car?”

“school,” Megumi says simply. “I would use my car to drive to school.”

310 blinks. “You know, you can do much more with that 40 billion. You really don’t want anything else? Don’t have a destination?”

“I’d go to Sendai.”

“Wh—Sendai? I’m from Sendai. Are you kidding me? Are you going to drive there with a shiny new Toyota Yaris?”

Megumi blushes furiously, “enough about me, ugh, it’s your turn anyways.”

310 shakes his head, but he’s giggling like a schoolgirl. “You really have to think bigger. Have you ever been to the beach?”

“No,” Megumi says.

“You should, one that’s got nice soft sand and blue water. With palm trees too. And you should get piña coladas.”

“What?”

“C’mon man, you don’t get to be frugal with 40 billion. I’ll teach you how to splurge once we get out—”

Ah.

“Right,” 310 breathes out, laughing to himself all silly. “Only one of us leaves.”

Megumi grunts.

Silence.

“...Ever seen a dead body?” 310 asks.

“...I’ve been answering all these questions. You haven’t answered at all,” Megumi points out, feeling far too exposed for running his mouth.

“Ah you’re right! Uh, I don’t have anyone.”

“But your grandfather—”

“He’s dead. For a while now. My mom and dad. Also dead. My brother is on the run. He’s, uh, killed a lot of people. He got the death penalty, so yeah, haven’t really seen him around.”

Megumi looks at him.

“I don’t think he counts,” 310 says, scratching his face. Megumi realizes the scars on his face aren’t from the previous games. They looked healed, puckered and faded from time.“He looks a lot like me, though. A lot of people can’t tell us apart. He hated that. He’s only a bit taller than me, and he loves to brag about it. He has a huge ego.”

“I see.”

“Yeah,” 310 says, but he doesn’t look awkward about it. Just mildly inconvenienced. “Oh, have we really been talking for that long?”

Megumi looks at the time. They have less than 2 minutes.

310 stands up, swiping the dirt off his pants. He pats around for his marbles. “Okay, so you see that wall over there?”

Megumi nods mutely. It’s quite far, maybe around 2 meters.

“Okay, we throw one marble, and the one closest to the wall wins, okay?”

“Okay.” Megumi nods, easy enough.

“Okay, you go first.”

Megumi scowls.

“added rule, we do it together,” he says, jaw clenched.

“Eh?” 310 looks at him, confused.

“I’ve been doing things first, so it seems rather fair if we do it at the same time, with our best effort, okay? I have the blue marble, you get the red one.”

“... okay.”

“Don’t give me a weak ass toss, alright, that doesn’t count,” Megumi says gruffly, narrowing his eyes at him. “Do your best.”

310 nods, giving him a thumbs up. “Okay!”

“On three,” Megumi says.

“Okay!”

“Three.”

“Two,” 310 continues, positioning his arm.

“One,” Megumi does the same.

They both throw their marbles. Megumi’s heart leaps out of its chest as he watches his marble in the air.

Clack!

Clack!

Clack!

Megumi looks down on the marble that lands right next to his shoe.

It’s red.

“Ahh, shoot, I threw it too hard,” 310 says with a pout.

Megumi sees red.

He shoves 310 against the wall. “Are you fucking with me?”

“Whoa! No, you won f-fair and square, man,” 310 stutters. “I did my best shot, like you said!”

“Any idiot would know that shit would bounce right back if you threw it like that!”

310 laughs, “I must be some one of a kind idiot, then.”

Megumi shoves him further into the wall. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

“You can’t kill me if I’m gonna be dead anyways.”

“THEN I’LL KILL YOU IF YOU DIE.”

“See, that doesn’t really make sense—”

“Shut the fuck up! Why did you do that?!”

310 slumps against the wall, body lax. Not looking at him.

“Answer me!”

“You… you have a lot more to live for than me,” 310 says quietly. He looks up at Megumi, tears in his eyes, “what kind of asshole would I be to deny you for a life?”

“You have a life!” Megumi snaps.

“I don’t, not anymore,” 310 sobs, a wobbly smile on his face. “Before my grandfather died, he told me that I should help others. That when it was my time to go, I would die surrounded by others and not end up like him.

“I should use my strength to help others, that’s what I’ve been doing here. Out there, no one wants me to help them. No one wants the face of a killer to help them. No one wants me to be around them. I can’t go to places, I’ve… I’ve always hated what Sukuna did to me. Made me carry his sins, his crimes. The way people looked at me as if I was him. I can’t move forward, not like you.

“I… I never went to school either, y’know. Or I never graduated. When Sukuna became a wanted man, I became a target. I stayed in my room. The doors were locked. The curtains were always down. It was like this for years. I received no support. The only way I could get by was doing interviews with journalists, feeding the narrative. Making people hate Sukuna more, making them hate me more. That’s no way to live.”

Megumi felt the back of his eyes burn, his teeth aching from being clenched too tight.

“Even if...I had the money. I can’t erase what my brother did. I can’t erase my existence in the world. I would just keep doing the same thing everyday. I don’t… I don’t want a bigger house, not when it’s just me who lives there.”

“You and I are not so different,” he says, looking up at Megumi.. “I think that’s why… I want you to win. You get to experience all these normal things, and feel… happy. You have a chance.”

Megumi wipes his eyes harshly, “Shit.”

“That’s true.”

“... What’s your name?” Megumi asks.

“Itadori Yuji,” 310—no, Yuji says. “My name is Itadori Yuji.”

Megumi takes a shaky breath, he raises his hand for him. “Fushiguro Megumi.”

Yuji grins, he clasps his hand onto Megumi’s. “That means blessing, right?”

“I don’t fucking know.”

“I’m glad then, Megumi. That I’m friends with you even through this hell. That itself is a blessing in a disguise.”

“Shut up,” Megumi punches his shoulder.

A guard suddenly arrives, carrying a gun in his hand. Waiting.

Yuji looks behind Megumi’s head. “Ah, I wish we had more time.”

Megumi bites his lip. “I wish I’d… met you sooner. I don't know anything about you.”

Yuji jaw drops, “Okay, I’ll … summarize this in ten seconds! I’m twenty-years-old, my favorite color is green, my favorite manga is Bleach, my type is tall people with big butts! Uhh, I really like watching action films—”

“Not … whatever, nevermind,” Megumi says softly as he listens to Yuji ramble on about himself.

Yuji pauses from his ramble looking winded, “uhm, Fushiguro, can I hug you?”

Megumi freezes.

“I just haven’t had a hug in a long time—” Yuji trails off before he gets cut off with Fushiguro hugging him desperately, clinging to him.

“Idiot, idiot, idiot!”

“...Hey, Fushiguro Megumi, live a long life, okay?”

Megumi lets go.

He turns around.

Eyes burning as he stares unblinking down the path. Footsteps. Silence. Breathing. He feels something salty on his lips when he licks them. It's not sweat.

He... he got attached. He stares forward, he doesn't regret it. Not at all. He got to know Yuji Itadori, the real him, and the pain in his heart is the best he can give back. A reminder that he was more than what people saw him. Yuji Itadori didn't deserve what the world gave him, they did not deserve his cries. The fact that... no one would shed a tear for him.

...Ah.

Megumi notices the dark wet spots on the dirt.

“Thanks for playing with me.”

[mywingsareonwheels]

Hoooopefully last post on the Bucky’s arm kerfuffle but i did want to say this too

(Especially because I’m really worried that some stuff I’ve said over the last few days might be being used by people to be shitty and that gives me a responsibility to clarify some stuff.)

- I still do absolutely stand (well, sit ;-) ) by the fact that Bucky’s arm is his arm and it wasn’t okay for Ayo to remove it without his consent. (I’m... still thinking about the implications of the failsafe being there in the first place; I was initially so angry about this but I think I’m now more... wanting to know more about what Shuri’s reasoning was before I make a final judgement; there might be something I’m missing). Like a lot of disabled viewers I found that moment both horrifying and painfully familiar in its implications and resonances.

- and

- people who are laughing at that moment (and especially continuing to laugh at it after hearing from disabled people) really really need to think about how that comes across to disabled people and how our bodies and our agency and our assistance devices when we have them (and our rights to those devices) are treated in real life. I have far, far more of a problem with this than I have with what Ayo actually did in the show (where it was treated as a serious and sad moment even though I’m not sure the creators got all the implications). Please, please do better, abled people. Come on.

- BUT ALSO IT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT:-

- other than that one moment Ayo was completely in the right in that episode and there is no excuse for white able-bodied Bucky fans to demonise her or use her fuck-up as a way to let him off the hook for the fuck-ups he’s made in the show, of which there have been far more, especially letting Zemo out of prison. I love Bucky so much - he’s my favourite character in the mcu, I feel for him a lot, and for a number of reasons I relate to him a great deal - but he is really not being his best self in the show so far or lived up to his own ideals, and we can love him and sympathise with his illness and trauma and still acknowledge that and feel for the people he’s hurt with his mistakes, especially Ayo and Shuri and T’Challa and the other Wakandans. Ayo did an ableist thing that I wish she had not done in the heat of the moment for extremely understandable reasons and under considerable provocation, not to mention her own trauma and grief and self-blame. She was right to be angry, she was right to feel betrayed after everything she and Shuri have done for Bucky, she and the other Dora Milaje were right to fight both Bucky and Sam when they intervened to help Walker, she was right to be out of patience. The only thing wrong was that precise action itself, in that one moment, and given all the pressures she was under what she did was understandable even though it wasn’t okay. That context matters.

- I’m not aware of an abled person in the *world* who’s never done anything ableist. No one. So, there’s that context too. Holding Black people to a higher standard than white people and non-Black POC when it comes to fuck-ups along other axes of marginalisation is part of antiblackness.

- on which note anyone comparing Ayo and the Wakandans to Hydra (FFS) is being gross as fuck. I... I just. Ugh. This should not need saying but since it apparently does: comparing some awesome Black people with actual fascists because of one mistake made in the heat of the moment is so far from being okay I don’t even have the words for it.

- I don’t know if anybody has used my words in pointing out that moment of ableism to justify saying racist things about Ayo and the other Wakandans. But I do know I could have done more to head that possibility off by being clearer and more emphatic about all of this earlier. So, apologies.

- fellow white physically disabled tfatws viewers: we’ve had one of our forms of trauma enacted in that episode, and then had a less-than-sympathetic response from some other fans when we’ve spoken out about it, and it fucking sucks. Fans of colour, especially Black fans (and including Black disabled fans!) have been dealing with seeing some of their trauma enacted in every episode so far and have also been having a less-than-sympathetic response from some other fans. I know I’m not the only one who could do with being more aware of that.

A further more meta point: right now most of all I am deeply frustrated with the MCU writers for repeatedly having Bucky’s arm damaged or removed or threatened as a plot device, regardless of whether they made those instances justifiable in-story or not. That is extremely ableist of them.

[sincerelymarinette]

A Recorded Life (50/50) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 1839 Chapter Summary: After defeating Hawkmoth, there are still a few things Team Miraculous has to round up. A month later, everyone is still coping, but there are things to look forward to. Author's Note: oh my gosh...the last chapter of this story! I've been writing this for over a year and I love it so much. Thank you so much for sticking around and reading, I appreciate it more than you know! Make sure to check back in a few weeks for the mini sequel!!

Prev / Mini Sequel part 1 / Masterlist

Epilogue

---

One Month Later

"Don't be bemused, it's just the news," Nadja Chamack's voice rang through the TV, much less energetic than usual.

The five heroes sat on Marinette's couch, dressed in black, and emotionally exhausted. Everyone had tear-stained faces, and no one was saying anything, just sitting and coping.

"Just two hours after Emilie Agreste's proper burial, Gabriel Agreste has been found guilty for multiple counts of public endangerment, and multiple counts of kidnapping. We have reporters on the field seeing him being taken away," She reported, and the video turned to an overhead view of Gabriel Agreste in handcuffs, leaving the courthouse in the back of a police car. Adrien shut his eyes for a few seconds until the screen changed again.

Nadja continued. "His assistant, Nathalie Sancoeur, has also been charged with multiple counts of complicity but could be released early because she claims she was forced to help him. That is currently being investigated. We want to send a heartfelt message to our heroes to say thank you for keeping Paris safe and continuing to do so. The public will always support you, and we hope to see you at the statue ceremony in a few days."

Marinette squeezed Adrien's hand to remind him that she's there for him, and they would get through this together. All five of them were a mess, and just glad it was all over.

"This broadcast is dedicated to Emilie Agreste, may she finally rest in peace," Nadja said, and the TV went to commercial.

Adrien started crying again, not sure how much more he could cry before he ran out of tears. They all looked down, and Marinette shut the TV off, still holding Adrien.

---

Marinette focused her camera on her friends and pressed record, then took her seat. They definitely weren't ready to be on camera all the time, but they knew this video had to be made.

"Hi, I'm Marinette," She began the video, less energetic than her videos were used to. "And I've got my team with me. Today we're doing a final Q&A about being superheroes," Marinette said. "Like before, we will choose the questions to answer, as we still have to protect some things. But most questions will come from Twitter and YouTube," She clarified.

The team was still going through a lot, emotionally and psychically. Initially, they weren't going to make any videos until they were back to normal, or as normal as they could be, but once they all agreed to take a step back, a final Miraculous video needed to be made.

"There are still some sensitive topics," Alya piped up. "So Marinette and I have already chosen the ones we will be answering, and not all of us may answer every question," She explained, hoping it would keep people from commenting anything rude.

"Are we all ready to begin?" Marinette asked the group with a soft smile, and with a round of yes, she asked the first question. "Thank you guys so much. How are you doing? We care about you and value you more than you know," She read. "I'll start. I think it's safe to say we're still kind of a mess, but we're getting better every day. It feels like one weight is off my shoulders, for now, at least," Marinette said.

There were a few nods around her, agreeing. "My head is still a mess from everything. But we've been working through it together," Alya added. "It helps that we're all together, definitely."

Adrien cleared his throat. "Marinette said it straight. I'm a mess, and I can't be any more clear than that. But having a new schedule and helping around The Bakery keeps my mind busy, but there is a new stress of starting school," He said, forcing a chuckle at the end.

"Very true!" Chloé echoed. "At least then we'll all be focusing on something to keep us busy!" She said.

Nino didn't answer as most of the emotions were covered. "Speaking of school," Alya said. "Our next question asks what's next for you guys now that the Akuma threat is gone?" Alya asked.

"I guess this is as good a time as any to announce some updates for all of us!" Marinette said and took a deep breath. I'm sure you've all noticed my lack of uploads, for obvious reasons, and they will not be going back to how they used to be. That's because I will be busy studying at my top school for design!" She said, excitedly. "I do want to get back into uploading more fashion videos, and I hope I'll be able to incorporate stuff from school into them, so keep an eye out," She winked.

Marinette looked to Adrien to let him talk about his plans. "I am going to school to study business, so I can fully take over Agreste Fashion in a few years. Right now, it is being run by the CFO, and I will be working with him and his team to help me prepare for that responsibility. In a few years, the Agreste Fashion, you know now, will be completely different, and I hope the best designer out there will be willing to tag along," Adrien nudged Marinette with a smile.

She brushed it off with an eye roll and looked to Alya next. "The Ladyblog really took off with everything going on, and I have taken a job as a full-time reporter as well as going to school for writing!" Alya said. "It will be a change of pace, but I'm really excited. Chloé?" She directed.

"Plain and simple, I'm going to study politics," She said, not elaborating anymore.

"And possibly our most exciting one...Nino?" Marinette smiled wide and turned to him.

Nino jumped when he heard his name. "Oh yeah!" He said. "I'm going to be taking a year off because I'm going on tour with Jagged Stone!" Nino said and put his fist in the air in excitement.

Jagged Stone made the offer to Nino only a few days before, and everyone was excited for him, though sad he was going to be gone for so long. The questions continued on, asking about favorite things to do as heroes, what changes they would make to their costumes, if they could switch their Miraculous for another which one would it be, and some that weren't related to superheroes at all.

They talked about how their relationships with each other have changed, and also what they wish they could have done in high school.

"Now for what I'm sure you've all been wondering, why is this the last Miraculous superhero-related video?" Marinette said, and everyone's mood changed from having fun to being somber. "We, as a group, have decided to take a step back. At least for a little bit," She said. "Hawkmoth and the Akumas are over, and crime rates are very low. Plus, it gives us a chance to focus on something different," Marinette explained.

"We love being superheroes, but it's time," Adrien added, followed with nods form the team.

Marinette took a deep breath. "But! We do have an exciting announcement. This Saturday, we will be doing a stream with Jagged Stone to finally listen to his album and talk about all the work!" Marinette said, and everyone else murmured things about it. "Check the information below to be sure to listen with us!" She said. "But I think that's it for today. Thank you all so much for watching, and I hope you'll check out our social media," Marinette took a deep breath. "Bug out."

Marinette had the video out as fast as she could, and the comments flew in.

oh man, catch me crying right now i love you guys so much

i know this is an important step for them but im still sad that its the end of an era

BUG OUT BUG OUT BUG OUT

she said BUG OUT this cant be the end of ladybug and chat noir

I hope you guys know how much we love and value you! I hope you guys are feeling better and keep getting better. Excited for everything in the future!!

OMG CONGRATS GUYS on all your achievements! Can't wait to see what you all do! ESPECIALLY YOU mari and i cant wait to see what adrien does with Agreste Fashion!!

ugh i love you guys SO MUCH

i love that mari would choose to be chat like,,, can i see that please?

I'm so buying tickets to Jagged mostly for Nino !!

thank you guys so much <3

To say they were pleasantly surprised with the comments was an understatement.

---

Right after the video was uploaded and the team read through the comments, they sat in Marinette's home, waiting for their visitor. There were mixed feelings, and no one knew what to say. When there was a knock on the door, the air in the room grew thick.

"Hello, Master," Marinette said as she welcomed Master Fu into the home. The Kwamis floated behind their holders, clearly sad to be leaving, and not saying anything.

"Are you all ready?" He asked.

No one spoke, just looked at each other. "Well, that's good, because I would like to say something," Master Fu said. "You five are the best Miraculous holders. I am very proud of all of you for what you've accomplished while also having the stress of life," He said, and grabbed the Miracle Box out of his bag. "Which is why I want to pass this onto you, Marinette."

All five gasped, and Marinette was shocked. "W-what?" She asked, her jaw on the floor.

“My time as guardian of the Miraculous is up. I have been guarding these since I was just a boy, and Marinette and Adrien, you two were easily the best Ladybug and Black Cat there has ever been. You work well together and are true leaders. All five of you have the best teamwork I could have ever imagined, and after all you have been through with Hawkmoth, it is clear that it is time for a change," Master Fu said and handed the Miracle Box to Marinette, which she hesitantly grabbed. "Marinette, you were made to be Ladybug. You were made to be a Guardian."

Her friends began celebrating with wide smiles, clearly excited for Marinette. The Kwamis were exchanging confused looks as to what this meant, and Pollen was the one to speak up.

“Does this mean we can stay with our owners?” Pollen asked.

Marinette turned around, holding onto the Miracle Box tight. She took a deep breath and formed a smile. “You know, it’s probably a better idea to not have them all in one place. Who knows, maybe the world will need us again," She said, and everyone joined in a group hug. After all this stress, emotional and physical pain, it was time for them to live their lives, with their best friends (humans and Kwamis alike) by their side.

THE END

edit: (except now there’s a sequel)

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries  @toodaloo-kangaroo 

[lxme-xss-imxgines]

Entwined

Prompt: A long time ago, long before modern civilization, there were eight souls bound together. Seven of these eight were born immortal, and they passed along their gift to their loved one. Not long after she was hunted by both mortal and immortal for being a living atrocity. Her current body perished, and they could only hope to one day meet her reincarnation.

Pairing: OT7 x reader 

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Death, swearing, cliche’s 

Intro 1 2 3

A/n: ugh even though there is some plot in this, not much happens. Still mostly a filler for clearing up some confusion. and its not as long as id like. Please leave me constructive criticism if you can:))))) let me know if yall would like to see more!!! 

taglist: @thefirewasfriendly @rosita7703 @herosvillians87 @part-time-patronus

________

The initial shock of the flood of memories entering Y/n’s brain has worn off, and her feelings have muted slightly. She sighs as she looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, feelings all her old emotions fighting with her not-existent ones. 

Heat rushes to her cheeks, tinging them pink as she suddenly feels embarrassed with how forward she was with them earlier. Yes, she may have known them for many a lifetime, but she has known them none in this one. Despite all her resurfaced memories, it does nothing to make her feel completely comfortable and at ease. 

Do they expect her to keep acting as she did when she first woke? She shook her head, they couldn’t expect that much of her. Right? 

A sudden knock snaps her out of her thoughts, her head turning to face the door. 

“Are you okay, princess? You been in there for a minute,” Hoseok’s bright voice projects through the door. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, Hobi! I’ll be out in a minute,” seeming satisfied with your answer, you hear his feet pad away from the doorway along with a small ‘okay’. 

 A question still not quite answered loops through her mind. Why were those men so adamant on finding them? I know that they’re a gang, but my understanding according to my memories is that currently there was peace among the mafia families at the moment . . . maybe not anymore?

When Y/n appears in front of the boys again, she already feels apprehensive just taking in their loving gazes. She knows she came on too strong when she woke up from her memory flood, but she didn’t mean to. I hope they can underst-

“Are you feeling alright, y/n?” the question rolls off Yoongi’s tongue, and for some reason earns a glare from Namjoon. 

“Yoongi. Quit reading her emotions,” he snaps.

“I’m not doing it on purpose, Joon. She’s projecting them. She wants us to know what she’s feeling . . . “ Yoongi and Y/n share a glance, and she nods in order to give him unspoken approval to announce her current state of feelings. “Y/n is nervous. She doesn’t want us to think that everything has suddenly gone back to normal because of the way she showed us affection for a short time after she awoke from her memory flood. Am I correct?”

Y/n giggles,”I remembered that you’re an empath . . . but I wasn’t aware of how much you have honed in your emotional readings in order to determine the circumstances of a situation,” the room goes silent for a moment, Y/n’s speech jarring them slightly. “Ah, I spoke as if I was out of a Dickinson novel again, didn’t I? Ah, it happened again!” 

“It’s alright, silly girl. It makes us feel at home,” Hoseok beams. 

Her eyebrows furrow,”You all have powers, hm? You all are the children of vampires . . . and witches. Blessing you all with powers most vampires lack. There’s something else . . . I can’t quite put my finger on.”

“Quit working your brain so hard, love. You’ll remember when you remember,” Jimin smiles. 

“Well, why can’t you just tell me? I mean, you know exactly what I’m trying to get at. At least Namjoon does,” her head tilts toward him. “He can see inside my mind. So why the hesitance to inform me?” 

“Because you never believe us until you actually go through it,” Tae states and rolls his eyes. Why does he have an attitude all of the sudden? Did I do something?

“Tae. You’re making her worry. Drop your act, will you?” Yoongi sneers. “We’re all impatient. No reason to take it out on her.”

He shrinks back,”Sorry, love.” 

“It’s okay. I just would prefer knowing because it does in fact have something to do with me, personally . . . like a puzzle piece. Like once I know this one fact, maybe along with some smaller details, everything will click into place.” Y/n shakes her head. “Nevermind that. Lingering on it won’t do. So, Namjoon is a telepath with stronger bias toward reading minds, unlike Hobi, who can blanket someone’s vision and make them see whatever he wants . . . “ 

They just nod, urging you to continue. They all know that exercises like this helps you to retain your memories. 

“Yoongs is an empath, which is why he puts on such a cold front . . . but he always lets me go to him when I’m sad so he can take the burden off of me,” Yoongi’s cheeks warm up, and he ignores looks from the boys. “Jinnie, you’re our healer, a very good one at that. Jiminie . . . you can kill someone with a single touch, if you wanted to. I know you prefer not to use it though, it makes you feel icky.”

Jimin nods in agreement, thinking of the grim feeling that fills him when his touch drags the soul out of a living person’s body. 

“Tae-tae, you bring pain or numbness to any being at will. And Kookie . . . oh. You still haven’t developed yours. However, I am optimistic that you will in this lifetime,” Y/n says with a small smile. 

She then inhales deeply, then lets out a long breath. 

“Sit down, will you, love?” Yoongi mumbles. “I can feel your weariness.” 

Y/n nods, sitting down between Yoongi and Jimin. She feels an instant feeling of calm wash over her, and she silently thanks the man to her left. 

“You guys have something important going on with the other mafia families, right?” y/n tilts her head, and the boys look at her in confusion. 

“Why are you concerning yourself with mafia business?” Tae states bluntly, leaving Y/n taken aback, but she quickly regains composure. 

“Ta-” Namjoon tries to interject, but her mouth has already begun to move. 

“Oh, maybe because whatever you boys have gotten yourselves into this time has lead to a rather angry, gun waving vampire to clamp his teeth onto my neck, leading to severe blood loss and probably a perpetual fear of stepping into the very club that you own again.” 

Silence falls once again, along with Y/n’s composure. I didn’t really mean to come off so harsh, but Taehyung needs a reality check for whatever reason. So I gave him one. 

Don’t feel bad, baby girl. He deserved it, Namjoon’s voice quiet in the back of your head. 

To everyone’s surprise, an apology spills out of Taehyung’s mouth,”I’m sorry. This happens every time. It’s hard for me to adjust to your presence when you return . . . like my mind can’t accept the fact that you’re back. Like it’s scared to.” 

“I get it, Tae. But if I recall correctly, I had a heavy hand in our mafia business in my previous life. I think we’re all very aware of my capabilities when it comes to handling our current problems.” 

“Y/n. You may be you, but you’re not ready to dive back in as heavy as you were in before,” Jin hesitates to elaborate, as it’s a very painful memory for them. “Especially when . . . “

“Yes, I know. It led to my death. I remember it like it was yesterday, when vampire hunters were first starting to emerge. If only we had known,” she releases a deep sigh. She almost regrets bringing it up. Y/n knows well that all of them blame every single one of her deaths on themselves. “None of my deaths were ever any of your faults. You guys know that, right?” 

“We always have this argument, so let me shorten it. None of us will every stop blaming ourselves for letting you die,” Jungkook speaks for the first time in awhile,”So don’t try and convince us of anything else. Won’t work.” 

Y/n scrunches her nose,”Maybe your power is stubborness.” 

Jungkook makes a face at her and she giggles, causing a domino effect of laughter to fill the room. 

_____________

“So this cult of vampires believes that if they consume any of your blood, that they will suddenly be able to gain supernatural powers because of the witch DNA all of you contain?” Y/n clarifies. Everyone nods. “I mean, I guess I can see why they would think that. But I doubt they have any scientific backing to it. You drink vampire blood and then die, you come back as a vampire. But they have no idea whether or not the witch DNA is even contained in the blood that you have in your bodies. It truly sounds like a conspiracy.” 

“The logic doesn’t matter to them. If there’s even a chance that they could become as powerful as Vampire-Witch hybrids, they will take the chance. Or die trying,” Tae snorts at Namjoon’s sentence. 

“And die they will,” he elaborates. “But we need to be careful. If they find out -” Jungkook suddenly smacks him in the arm, cutting off whatever he was going to reveal. 

Y/n tenses. 

“Well, it’s too late now. You guys know she doesn’t like secrets,” Yoongi says from beside her. 

“Sorry, Yoongi. I know it must be frustrating to feel my emotions all the time. I know I project them, I don’t mean to,” she sends a small smile. 

He just chuckles,”I like feeling your emotions, even the bad ones. It makes me feel close to you.” 

Y/n shakes her head,”Alright. What are you guys not telling me?” 

“Nothing you don’t already know, princess,” Taehyung responds. “It has to do with when you turn.” 

She tries to remember for a moment, she really does. But it’s like there a roadblock. And they all know what will remove it, but it’s too soon. Much too soon. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #268

“i got a switchblade wit that cuts like a bitch, and i think you two should meet.”

What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? Jason and I knew each other like... I think two or three weeks? We clicked so fast. Are you a fan of inside jokes or do you tend to stay away from them? I... don't feel a particular way? Do you have any theatrical experience? If so, what have you done? No, I'm not into theater. Which movies currently out in theaters do you want to see? I don't know what's in theaters right now, but I don't think anyone does rn lol. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? If it's seriously incessantly, yes. There's not a lot you can say to have a conversation when they just ramble about the person, especially when you don't even know the partner. How close would you say you are to your relatives? Not very. What’s your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales. If you could have anyone to do your eulogy, who would it be and why? Well, I'd assume my parents will be dead by that point, so. Probably my best friend. If you play the Sims games, which one is your favorite? I've only ever played Sims Animals, which I looooved back in the past. I haven't played it in years, though. If your parents searched your room, would they be mad at what they’d find? No. Ever taken a picture kissing somebody? Yes. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? Morning is a great start to the day, but only after your teeth are brushed. I cannooooot do morning breath. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Aggressive. I am such a sub lmao. How serious are your feelings for the person you like? I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWW Ever had your driver's license suspended? Don't have mine to begin with. Does the person you like know that you like them? Yes. How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? Somewhat rarely lately, less than I did some months back. I would read some pretty big chunks. When was the last time you questioned the direction your life was taking? LMAOOOOOOOOO I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that's like, a daily occurrence. What small things have the ability to get under your skin? I'm trying to think of something I haven't said before, but I'm not sure. OH, it may seem like a small thing, but letting balloons go outside. It's littering. Many end up in the ocean. What is something small that has the ability to cure a bad mood? A car ride riding shotgun with music blaring. I fucking love it. What was the last big change through which you went? Some moral beliefs altered. ^ Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? Fuck no. It blows up my anxiety. How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? I used to feel kinda guilty, and I actually still do, but it's more subdued. It's just too normal by now, to the point when I'm bored, I sometimes briefly forget there are other things to do that aren't on the computer. God it's sad. What do you consider to be the biggest drawback to being you? I'M BIG SCARED OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! What do you consider the best part of being who you are? I'm really understanding and can relate to people's pain well. What kinds of things do you have on display in your room? Christ, a lot. My room is STUFFED with decorations that make me happy.  There's posters, some artwork, all my Silent Hill game cases or manuals + more SH stuff, meerkats galore, Venus is in here, I have this "shrine" for Teddy... I've got a load of stuff. What do you think your room and its contents say about you, if anything? I love a lotta stuff, ig. Animals, music, dark stuff, games. When was the last time you felt insecure about something/some situation? UMMMMM I should have a question for this fucking immediately. I'm sure it was something when I was at Ashley's inlaws for Mother's Day. What is something about which you are very confident or self-assured? My knowledge of meerkats lmaooo. Which emotional sensation inconveniences or bothers you the most? FUCKIN ANXIETY. Do you ever find it awkward to compliment another being? No, I love love love giving compliments!! When was the last time you had a new experience? What was it? Hm. I guess nightmares where I literally flail and attack shit while shrieking. Do you dress more for yourself, or to the expectations of others? I dress entirely for myself. What is one way you cope when you feel like crap? Binge music I can relate to. Which can make it worse, but sometimes helps. I'll usually get to the point of being teary and cry a bit, but then I start feeling better. Name an insult you regularly receive, if there is one? I guess it's not really an... insult, per se, but I hear "you're too quiet!" all the time. What is something you used to believe about life that you no longer do? Everything happens for a reason. Nope. What is something you hope you never have to do again? Deal with another Jason-level heartbreak. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? I'm actually not sure. Not a fan of any that I can think of. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Oh yeah, plenty normal nowadays. Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Yes, the pink bead necklace from my sister's baby shower for Emerson. Sometimes I hang my purse there too. Why did you move to where you're living now? We got evicted for not being able to keep up with rent and needed a cheap but semi-decent place to live. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? I remember I was grounded from the computer for at least a week, maybe more. My punishment was always taking technology away and/or spanked or popped on the arm. I remember she once hit my arm so damn hard that I had her handprint there for a while. My mom was horrible at *keeping* me and my sisters grounded, though; she'd normally calm down within a few days and things would return to normal. What was the topic of conversation the last time you spoke to a sibling? Ummm I don't remember. I should, I saw one just a couple days ago. Are you currently looking for a new job? I don't have a job currently, but while Mom has cancer and surgery coming up, I'm not really looking, but pondering opportunities. She'd have to drive me, which just can't be done right now, and I'm also not comfortable leaving her home alone right now. Who is the person you are the closest to? (emotionally, not physically) Mom. What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Do you drink this often? Strawberry Sunkist, and ugh, too much lately. Whose photo did you last look at? I was on Facebook a bit ago, so someone's on there. Who was the last person to pick you up? You mean like, physically? I don't know, probably Girt because he got a kick out of our height difference and he would do that when we hugged. What are you wearing around your neck? Nothing right now. Have you accidentally mistaken a stranger for someone you know? Oh my god, yes. I did that at the tattoo parlor once at a guy that looked like my sister's ex, who I got along with well. He looked at me like "uhhhhh" and it will haunt me forever. Who did you last blow a kiss at? Venus. I do that and wave a lot when she comes out of her hide and looks my way. Have you ever seen lava in real life? No. Who did you last bite? Um I don't just casually go around biting people lmao. Probably Jason. Do you remember the date of your prom? Ha, it's honestly surprising to me that I don't recall the date of either, considering how I remember, y'know, a weird amount of obscure details through our entire time knowing each other. Was your last kiss long and sensual or short and sweet? Why’s that? Short and sweet, because it was just a goodbye kiss. When kissing, do you like to be on top or bottom? Good Lord, am I a bottom. I hated being on top because I felt he had a better view of me and my body, and I was self-conscious as shit even when I was fit. Does your boyfriend/husband know what size your boobs are? UHHHHHHHHHHHHH I don't have a boyfriend but I've sure never actually talked about it with any. Do you have hair extensions or do you think those are strictly for the scene kids? ..... No? I don't wear extensions, never have, but wearing them doesn't tie you to a label??? List all the things you have from your boyfriend at your house right now? Not everyone has a boyfriend, friend. Last time you exercised and for how long? I DON'T WANT TO THINK OF THIS lkja;dslkfjwe Last girl who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? I shared a picture of myself on Facebook for once just the other day, so let's so. *checks* HAHA MY MOM. #1 cheerleader, friends. OH I should probably clarify she said "gorgeous," but I guess that counts? Was she hitting on you? Jfc no. Last guy who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? Does getting a comment from Ian of a Spongebob screenshot of Squidward with heart eyes count? lol Was HE hitting on you? *shrugs* He's very open with sharing love for his friends though, so it very well could've been just friendly support. Have you ever taken the 5,000 question survey? Parts of it, and God did it get stupid. What would you do if your boyfriend/husband got drafted into war tomorrow? I. Am single. And not everyone. Is interested in guys. But hypothetically, I would fucking panic. I physically wouldn't be able to handle an s/o in the army; I would constantly, absolutely constantly, be actively fearful. We'd have to find a way to get him out of it. Has a guy ever touched your butt without permission? If so, how did this make you feel? I don't believe so, thank God. How many formal dresses do you own? Sun-dresses? I have two prom dresses (which I'm finally comfortable enough to get rid of at some point) and I think like... one or two other black knee-length dresses that I could now never fit into? What do you hope you grow out of? Social anxiety. It ruins many parts of my life. What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis? Healthy? Oh fuck. I, uh, usually have one bottle of water, I guess? Unhealthy, definitely drink soda. I need to stop. When looking for a SO, what three things are most important (besides looks)? Kindness, patience, and compassion or understanding. How much do you judge a person by their appearance? Define "judge" here. Like, I can conclude someone is impoverished or well off in many cases, but I don't judge them as people. What is the most embarrassing thing you own? Hm. I'm unsure. What is the strangest habit you have? I don't think I have odd habits. What movie made you cry the most? The Notebook or Old Yeller, I think. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Realizing I was getting a dog for Christmas. Fuck, I miss Teddy. What belief do you have that most people disagree with? I'd rather not get political right now. Who or what inspires you to be a better person? I fucking hate admitting it, but Jason. The last thing he told me was to stop saying "I'll try" but rather "I will," and I actually recently almost had a breakdown about it because I shouldn't put SO much value into what he says, make it holy "rules." I treat him like a god in so many ways. Still, in my stupid head, his word is law. I still want to make him so proud. What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship? Long-distance was getting extremely hard, but I think the bigger factor was that we both have problems we need to work on before we can properly support one another. If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.) I guess... no. I'd be too afraid of it being any worse than it already feels. What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time? Political and religious beliefs I don't at all like admitting I had. Where would you like to retire? Hell if I know, that's a long whiles away. What brings you the most joy in life? Oh yikes. Family and close friends, probs. What was the last song that got stuck in your head? "Blush" by Jeffree Star is on repeat ahhhh What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at? Drawing people. I don't really do it BECAUSE I'm not very good. In art in general, I have a hard time with proportions. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, a lotta other fruits, broccoli, there are these granola and cashew bars I LOVE, salad can be good, scrambled eggs... now I'm blanking. Like there are a lot of foods that can be on either end of the spectrum, depending on how they're prepared. Do you ever eat dry cereal as a snack to munch on? Any particular kind? No, generally too crunchy and dry. When you run out of something to drink & are thirsty, are you quick to retrieve a new beverage or are you lazy about it? It depends on how thirsty I am and what I'm doing at that moment. What is your favorite part of a slice of pizza? BITCH all of that motherfucker. What was the longest power outage you ever experienced? Two or so days. I was so, so scared for Venus because it was in the winter. Poor girl was scared. I had to let her inside my hoodie and shirt to use my warmth for a lengthy period at a time, there were blankets draped over her terrarium... I was genuinely afraid she was going to die. But nope, my baby is good and thriving. :'D Do you believe that children should do all of the chores around the house, or do you think the parents should do them? Or do you have an entirely different opinion? As someone who was raised with chores poorly enforced and now I suck at doing them, they should ABSOLUTELY be a required thing. Children shouldn't do *all* the chores though, of course, especially those involving serious chemicals. Have you ever painted a pet’s nails, or known someone that has done such? Do you think that is cruel? I haven't, but I suppose it depends on whether it's toxic or not and if the animal doesn't mind? I do know people who have. What is something you did as a child that you didn’t realize back then was “wrong”, if anything? I didn't know interracial relationships were perfectly fine. It's funny, I don't recall me seeing black as any less than whites, I just thought it wasn't supposed to happen. Being raised in the South does that, ig. Do you get an excessive amount of bug bites during spring/summertime? Are you one to itch constantly or can you control yourself? No, I've heard because I have A-type blood. Whenever my sister (O-type) and I used to play outside, she would always come in COVERED in mosquito bites, and she's still a magnet for them today. Supposedly bugs don't prefer A, but O the most. I do itch, though. Holy shit, do I itch. Do you own any sports equipment [balls, basketball goals, mitts, etc] that you rarely use? No. Could you ever willingly hunt down & shoot an innocent animal for sport? Over my dead fucking body. Would you be uncomfortable changing someone else’s baby’s diaper? Ugh, I have twice I believe, and I hated it. Have/would you ever want to own a pet frog, or do you think they would be too boring? I don't think I've ever caught and kept one? I don't mind "boring" pets, I just don't desire one. What internet/television provider do you use? Fucking CenturyLink. Stay away from it. Are you uncomfortable going out in public with leg stubble? Even if it’s so light that no one would notice it unless they were looking for it? That much, no. Now I literally haven't shaved my legs in over a whole year because it's not like anyone sees them, but holy fuck would I be mortified if someone did lol. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. I'm terrified to because of tornados. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? No. What’s your favorite piece of furniture in your house? ...? If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd want to, but it'd be Mom's decision. Favorite type of cracker: Cheez-Its. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Spiders, especially when they're making their webs.

[felicismagic18873]

Beyond the Blaze (8)

Summary: 4 Years old, Alyssa Potter finds her life taking a magical turn as she steps into a world of cute green giants, talking robots and misunderstood aliens. All of it is almost enough to make her forget the probable destruction of her own world.

Mister Robot didn't come down for lunch or dinner.

Not even to say goodnight when Mister Bruce tucked her in and went to bed himself.  She did ask after him but Mister Bruce just said, "He's down in the lab, working probably. Don't worry, he'll come up when he feels tired. You just go to sleep okay?"

But it didn't feel okay, even if she had nodded. Mister Robot was down there all alone and he-he hadn't even eaten and he must be so hungry. How could she sleep knowing that? Well, she didn't have to. She pushed off the covers and stood up striding out of her room with determination. She climbed down the stairs carefully, not wanting to fall.

Mister Bruce had made it clear that it was okay for her to do whatever she wanted in the kitchen as long as she stayed away from the stove and the knives, so she didn't feel any hesitation in taking an apple and a small bag of blueberries. She gathered them in her arms and stood near the elevator. It was time to go down.

She bit her lip looking at the ceiling hesitantly, the last time she'd gone anywhere without having permission didn't end up very well.

"Em, Mr.Jarvis?"

"Yes, Little Miss?"

"Can I go visit Mr.Robot? He's been down there for-everr", She swayed back and forth a little before remembering her aunt telling to stand straight.

"I do believe that's quite incorrect Miss. He has only been down there for approximately 9 hours. It's quite normal for sir."

"That doesn't mean its okay." She tried not to make it sound like a question, she stood up a bit straighter. "He should eat. It's not good."

"Sir could use some food.", he sounded thoughtful.

Alyssa grinned, "Yes! And I am bringing him food. To eat." She widened her eyes and stared hopefully at the ceiling.

"Only if there are no detours this time."

"Detour?" She tilted her head.

"A diversion from the given path."

Alyssa laughed, "Promise."

The elevator door opened, she hopped in.

-----------------------

The music went down suddenly, Tony looked up from the program he was working. He made a face at the ceiling, JARVIS knew not to cut off the music unless someone was visiting. Maybe it was Pepper? The elevator opened,

"Hello Mista'." And in walked little Matilda.

Tony stared at the door for a second. He squinted his eyes before blinking a few times. Still there. It wasn't a hallucination after all, huh.

"Kid, What on earth are you doing here? It's like what..1 in the morning. No, wait-erase that how are you in here?" He put down the tablet.

"Because I wanted to," she skipped towards Tony and threw an apple towards him which he caught easily. She put the bag of blueberries on the desktop.

"Because you wanted to." He repeated slowly, " What do you mean because you wanted to? That's not how this works, JARVIS why is she down here." His voice showed his skepticism.

"Exactly what she said 'Mista Tony', because she wanted to."

Alyssa burst into peals of laughter and Tony couldn't help his own lips tilting up into a smirk.

"This is a conspiracy against me! I'm telling you. My own AI." He mock glared at the kid, though he knew his tilted lips probably gave away his amusement. He wasn't really angry he knew JARVIS wouldn't have let her in if he was doing something dangerous, "Why would you do that?"

Alyssa giggled, "W-Why not"

He squinted his eyes staring at her. Tony then fake gasped, putting a hand on his chest. "Are you sassing me kid?

"I'd never sass you Mista robot!" Alyssa looked mischevious.

"Yesh right," he rolled his eyes letting his hand fall down from his chest, "All you do is sass, not that I hate it. It pretty good, for a kid" He clarified throwing the apple from one hand to the other.

Alyssa pouted not liking the critic of her 'sassiness'. Tony sighed, Alyssa was looking at him expectantly. He stared around to find a place for her to sit since she had apparently decided to stay, who knows why. There was the couch at the end of the workshop. he stared at it for a while then decided it would take too much effort to pull it closer.

He cleared the desktop he was working on throwing some of the things on the ground, just some tools nothing important then signed her to jump on. Alyssa bit her lip looking at the desk that didn't have any ridges to help her climb.

Tony rolled his eyes, "Kids" he muttered before picking her up and plopping her on the table.

Alyssa wiggled a little, settling in.

Tony picked his tablet again putting the apple on the table, " So, what do you do with kids anyway? Do you  need a bottle or something?" He looked at her beneath his lashes and had to hold back a laugh at the offended look on her face. "I'm four, not one!" She huffed.

"And I am an inventor, not a babysitter."

"I am not a baby!" She crossed her arms over her chest looking away.  

Tony wondered for a second whether he should say something but it wasn't like he said something wrong.  He wasn't good with kids (Unlike Thor, the stupidly friendly alien)  and maybe it was better if she didn't stay. He looked at the apple for a second his stomach rumbled a little but he decided not to eat it in the end.

The last thing he needed was the kid to come down here every day with food, even if it did make him feel all happy. Ugh, mushy stuff! Bad Tony! He shook his head to chase away the thoughts.

"Is that your mommy?" Came a soft question.

Tony's head snapped towards her, she had a frame in her hands and Tony knew if she turned it he'd see him sitting next to his mother as she played the piano. He curbed the first instinct to wave away-deflect-ignore the question. He chose to hmm instead.

"She's really pretty,"

Tony could hear the smile in her voice, "Was." He hated to correct, he didn't look at her while saying it. He didn't need to see her face fall. "She was very pretty."

"Oh."

There was a moment of silence.  Tony finally looked up, she was staring intently at the picture.

"My mom was very pretty too, " she finally muttered, ''What-What happened to your mom?"

"Car accident."

Alyssa looked up at him with sad eyes, Tony suddenly felt the need to say something funny. Anything but-but he didn't. But this felt too important, too important to mess up.

"A-are you sure?"

Tony stared at her for a while, "Yes. I'm sure. Hundred percent sure."

She caressed the frame, " I thought my mommy and dad died in a car crash too."  She put down the frame back on the desktop near the picture of him and his father. She rubbed a hand over her eyes.

"But they didn't?" He asked in a soft manner not wanting the kid to be any more upset.

"No," She whispered, " A man killed them, with a spell. A green spell."

A man with a green spell? Loki?

Tony saw red.

He tried to control his voice, "Loki killed your parents?"

Alyssa's head snapped up, she looked shocked. "No! Not Loki. Voldemort. Voldemort attacked us."

"Voldemort?" Tony tested the name on his lips. Wasn't that french for the flight from death or something?

"A bad wizard, I don't like him."

"Another mutant then? Is he gone?"

"Yeah. He's gone."  

Tony felt a wave of relief, at least the man was gone now. Alyssa was staring down at her shoes.

She was upset, that was clear to see.

"Oh, I have no idea how to handle emotional situations. This is so not something I do." Tony finally blurted out.

Alyssa sniffed, smiling slightly. "Usually, Mel just gives me a hug."

"A hug, " Tony's face twisted.

"Yes," Alyssa replied, her eyes getting back some of their usual happiness after the morse topic.

"I don't do 'hugs', short stack" Tony took a step back raising his hands in the universal sign of peace.

Alyssa jumped down from the desk. She walked a bit closer staring at him and- oh no the puppy eyes. It wasn't fair!

Tony rolled his eyes for show, "Agh fine."

He finally mumbled stepping forwards and bending down a little bit to encircle his arms around the kid barely touching her. He wasn't going to be all mushy like Thor. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Not like that silly!" She pulled his shirt to make him crouch down properly. She then hugged him properly, putting her head on his chest and letting out a sigh of content.

Tony stiffened a little before slowly relaxing and hugging her back, resting his hand on her back.

"It's not that bad, " He grudgingly agreed after a while. It did make him feel better as well. "But if you tell anyone I'll deny everything." He pulled back and playfully scowled at her.

"Yes, Mister Robot!"  Alyssa declared with a huge grin.

"For the last time, I-Am-not-a -robot" He emphasized each word. Alyssa shrugged.

"You know what, you wanna see an actual robot?", He leaned against the desk, he could hear the sound of a blender in the background.

Alyssa frowned," Actual robot?"

"Dum-E front an center!" The sound of the blender died out and Dum-E wheeled in beeping in a curious manner.

"W-What-Who's this?" Alyssa looked at him with wide eyes and stepped a little closer.

"This little lilo is Dum-E. Say Hi Dum-E"

Dum-E beeped a little them raised his arm and clenched and unclenched his claw. Alyssa squeal a little, "He's so cute!" She went a little closer, Tony could almost see the hearts in her eyes but it didn't bother him that much this time (Not that it did before).

"I don't see it." He shrugged pulling up a projection for the clean-up project Stark industry had started. He absently grabbed the apple and bit into it.

Dum-E and the kid were both busy staring at each other. Then Dum-e turned around and wheeled away. He came back after a minute with a rubber ball clutched in his claw. He dropped it in front of Alyssa.

Alyssa stared at the ball as if she had no idea what to do with it. What a weird kid.

"He wants to play catch, " Tony helpfully supplied, see he could be nice. Suck on that Thor. "You don't have to though, its one of his quirks."

"I wanna, can I please?" Alyssa pleaded.

"You wanna play with him?" Tony asked to confirm.

"Yep,"

"Only if you call me Tony instead now that you know what a real robot looks like."

Alyssa gasped, "I can't do that! " She then thought for a while, "But I can call you Mista Tony?"

Tony thought to mention how she didn't mind calling Thor by his name but ultimately just nodded.

Tony pointed a finger at Dum-E, "Dum-e Behave yourself or I'll send you down to R&D. " He then made a 'go' motion at Alyssa, "Go ahead, I'm just gonna-yeah." And he finally went back to work though he could hear the two mischief makers in the background. He just hoped Dum- didn't take out the fire extinguisher, it would be kinda funny though.

He looked up half an hour later when Dum-e insistently waved a blanket in front of his face. He was about to roll his eyes and put it off as one of his antics when Dum-e threw it in front of him and wheeled toward the other side of the lab.

The other side where on a very batty couch the kid was fast asleep,  cuddling the ball to her chest. Dum-e beeped at him.

"Fine. Just this one, the next time we're waking her up" he told Dum-e strictly and picked up the blanket. He made his way to the couch and promptly got back to his workspace. A few seconds later he glanced at the kid again sleeping on his couch like it was the most comfortable place in the world.

His face softened a little, "Silly kid." He chuckled quietly, grabbed the pack of blueberries before throwing a last look at the sofa and getting back to work.

[softgrungeprophet]

it’s that time again. time for me to be annoyed/frustrated at the comics that came in the 20-teens that simultaneously responded directly to the 2000s, followed in the 2000s’ continuation, but completely glossed over and ignored the very serious topics that were brought up. and then we get the fucking 2018 run which does NEITHER and just seeks to make it worse for shock value without being even remotely thoughtful about anything it does! wow.

we could have had some really interesting growth for eddie and the symbiote’s relationship by honestly addressing things like eddie’s illness, hypocrisy as anti-venom, his status as a victim of abuse, and so on...

of course i know if i say “eddie is a victim” people will get hissy but like.... i’m not saying he’s an innocent blameless baby who was manipulated into being the weirdo he is... i’m just saying... he’s a victim of abuse. he’s been taken advantage of a lot. almost any help he’s received has required some kind of reciprocation.

he’s a shithead and he went off the deep-end after new ways to die because remender’s version of eddie fucking sucks, he’s smug and weird and violent, and also he’s been neglected and tortured and abused and experimented on and he needs therapy and blah blah blah

he’s also not some fuckin accidental drunk driver who was hit into thinking he’s innocent. that’s so fucking--jeez. everything about these retcons donny has been doing miss the point even more than the comics he says he loves so much. it’s wild. like i don’t like new ways to die OR new ways to live, remender’s run was okay but i hated the way he wrote eddie, marvel knights spider-man just sucks in general, the hunger 03 also sucks, but like they do feed into each other in a way that.... sort of makes sense....

i just wish there was a way any of the comics would have said, “hey look there are some ways in which eddie is a victim but there are also some ways in which he needs to take responsibility for his actions”

but that kind of nuanced take is impossible for the way these comics are put out and canceled and retconned and so on forever.. it’s so ... ugh.....

the hunger 03 sucks... it also influenced over a decades’ worth of Venom comics including costa’s in its own weird way.... and i just wish we could simultaneously be like, Yes the symbiote is not inherently evil or corrupting but Also it did abuse Eddie, and Yes Eddie has been treated poorly for a great deal of his life and Also is a motherfucker who needs to be held responsible for his actions.

Is this hypocritical to be like, “can we address the 2000s” while also saying “2018 run is not valid”

in my defense even the shitty 2000s were like a continuity and didn’t try to fully retcon every single aspect of venom lore that ever existed (tho it sure did plenty of retconning....) whereas the current run... is doing exactly that....

of course this goddamn run will probably also influence the following comics unless the next writers retcon the retcons or like, ignore it and it gets put into its own earth or something. idk. like no one really counts dark origin right? and that works cause it also had a negligible influence on the rest of the comics. but like, the bad hunger had a very lasting impact on the comics. so i guess we just hope that donny cates, despite currently selling super well, does not actually influence any of the comics that come after?

i don’t fuckin know. i just think it kind of sucks that like “eddie was abused” is something that gets used as either a “lol no that never happened and if you talk about it you hate the symbiote” or else an excuse to demonize the symbiote even after its own character growth arcs in the apparently supremely unpopular gotg and space knight stuff... lol

maybe if every fucking series from 2013 to 2016 (minus costa which is honestly more 2017) didn’t get canned we could have gotten more. like honestly, 2016′s Carnage--for all its flaws--seemed like it had something to say about Eddie as a character, about his flaws and so on, and I gotta wonder where that was going. It flat out says “Venom didn’t make Eddie Brock a bastard” so like? But then at the same time all of the symbiotes in that series were completely silent so? I don’t even know.

Cullen Bunn was clearly going somewhere too but I have no idea where other than “symbiote is alive but has trouble communicating” and “eddie is coming down from his murder spree as he realizes flash thompson is in fact helping people as agent venom”

the two fit together in a very strangely complementary way. sometimes i gotta wonder about a universe in which those two comics in particular ran concurrently to address venom, flash, toxin, and eddie’s many issues. but toxin’s probably gone... though in my heart they are with jubulile and her mom in south africa, learning what it’s like to be part of a loving family...

man. the resigned “Okay.” at the end of twav...... twav good imo.

anyway

i don’t even know what the point of this is. i’m all over the place in this post. it’s frustrating that donny has made it kinda impossible to bring up eddie’s victimhood without like... qualifying it to the ends of the earth to clarify that you don’t think he’s some kind of pure cinnamon roll who’s been dreadfully manipulated for 12 years....

I feel like I’m not making any sense!!! Words are hard.

I feel like I’ve kinda been avoiding writing about the symbiote though in part because it’s hard for me to balance that many characters and in part because of Donny’s stupid bullshit, which is dumb as fuck but I guess that’s what he wanted huh!!!! Need to read Lethal Protector to cleanse my palate but it’s taking forever to get it from the library because they only have one copy.

ugh

The symbiote is not an evil creature like he wants everyone to think... goddammit.... but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t carefully address both its and Eddie’s mistakes without fabricating new different mistakes to obscure the previous ones. Or whatever. Fuckin I don’t know lol the entirety of the continuity is just a bunch of bullshit. 80s-90s continuity largely separate from 2000-20...15ish continuity largely separate AGAIN from the 2016 continuity yet also directly tied to it, against completely separated from the 2018 continuity which is off saying “fuck you” to literally every venom writer to ever exist since Eddie’s conception, ironically including the guy who wrote the cursed hunger

What am I trying to say! I don’t know! i feel like a broken record. There’s a lot of empty space between Agent Venom and 2016 that was never filled! also between 2016 and 2018 lmfao.

Donny “everything went wrong and I’m not going to explain how other than ‘God’ and ‘Eddie lost his job cause screaming symbiote’“ Cates really pullin some shit. what do you mean eddie tends to work toward solving his own problems EVEN WHILE DYING. waid’s mini-story in NWTD showed that eddie, despite being sad and sick and exhausted was still like.... eddie, stubbornly searching out his own solutions and getting angry. ofc i’m not sure how well it succeeded at parts. the comics in those days were still pretty steeped in the weird symbiote hallucinations that it was never clear if they were meant to be caused by the symbiote or just eddie’s sick brain. like the Last Temptation. I have a love-hate relationship with those two issues... I think they’re pretty well-done but also something about them just rubs me the wrong way. 

Anyway back to Cates: it’s not like there wasn’t space for a spiral after FH or anything. You could have really dug into Eddie and the symbiote’s insecurities wrt family and parenting. but nah. let’s just make it so there’s a SECRET CHILD, and oh the pre-established sibling? we could have dug into her and made her a real character. but no, she doesn’t exist, women are either fake or dead or violated.

asshole.

but again like..... the 03 hunger, cursed and bad... like... it’s still workable. you can work with the corrupting forces, the addiction metaphor (on the SYMBIOTE’S part, with adrenaline) and the intense codependency, and still have them move on and into a healthier-by-comparison relationship.

but cates’ run is like... much harder to recover from if it has as lasting of an effect, because it leaves no part untouched, and goes beyond “normal” abuse into really weird unforgiveable territory... like the canon of that comic is the canon in which everything has been completely changed into something unrecognizable.

i joke about my AUs being unrecognizable because, visually at least, they WOULD be unrecognizable for most Venom fans, but the comics inform them as characters a lot in the stories i write in those AUs, from the 96 good hunger, to the 03 bad hunger, to space knight to venom inc, and so on. But donny cates really is out here essentially reverse-engineering retcons to justify his characterizations.

barely related: the way eddie was raised and the way he coped by overachieving and so on and so forth makes me think he would have--despite presumably gaining a great deal of confidence in college once out of his father’s home--been really vulnerable to being taken advantage of by like, other students or teachers, but idk how exactly to articulate what i mean like... uh... not even that he WAS taken advantage of but that his need for validation would have left him open to it... i guess??

that’s got pretty much nothing to do with this post though but kinda ties into what i’ve said before about how i think eddie was a withdrawn and isolated adolescent who only opened up in college. why i disagree with donny’s retcon for that reason in addition to other reasons--the way he’d been shown to be bullied as a kid in previous comics, as well as the lack of history of alcoholism, the clarification in lethal protector that carl wasn’t physical, so on and so forth.

again that’s not related to this post really... and it’s like, a good 50% headcanon, but it makes sense in my head as something that fits his history?? i guess?

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 6: “If someone can fuck you over once, then they can choose to do it again” - Raffy

Does this idol system have killer clowns walking around? Carnies doing handstands? Haunted Big Bertha’s? Who knows cause I CAN’T EVEN GET ACCESS TO THIS DAMN IDOL SYSTEM AND YALL ARE OUT HERE POCKETING SUPER IDOLS LIKE ITS AN IPOD TOUCH AND WE’RE 12.

---

WOW WHAT A VOTE. Raffy immediately having to use a Super Idol is probably ridiculously on brand, but in all honesty, seeing BENJ of all people go, is a shock to my system. I've voted out former finalists, but I thought that Benj was gonna go DEEP in this game. But now I need to focus I have to get Top 3 in this challenge to get these damn tickets. But my final thought on this super idol is that at least a *good* person got the Super Idol

this reward challenge has me so lost i hardly even go here i dont know any monologues i can perform

we're doing basic text dr today because if I talked I'll probably cry and no one wants that sahjahsjajs

so the vote happened and we were successful in voting raffy in majority. we being me Chris and benj BUT then it turned out raffy had something stupid called a superidol HJAHSJJHAS (sorry this is gonna be bitter time get ready) and was able to just basically cancel his elimination after seeing the votes???????? because who cares about strategy and having to make plans and being smart and capable of reading the tribe in successfully using an idol? no no no lets let someone just not talk to anyone and then save themselves and vote out someone who WORKS SO HARD AND IS SO ACTIVE AND PASSIONATE LIKE YEAH OKAY SAJHJSAHHJASASHJAHJSHAJS THAT MAKES SENSE

UGH

I'm sorry I'm so sad. benj was voted out because of this and I feel really empty and hurt about it. he was my best friend on this tribe we talked constantly every day and we were close in timezones and I trusted him and loved him and now we've been robbed of playing with each other in merge. we had so many plans for us too we wanted to pretend to not be that close and purposefully vote opposite and stuff. it's all ruined.

I think raffy deserves praise in FINDING the idol. but the idol itself is a get out of jail free card and requires no strategy when used like that so asjhasjhashjashj and only used in his 2nd tribal. so I'm glad it didn't last any longer and also that he didn't use it in the way survivor players usually do. by making everyone fear them sahjsajh COS THAT WOULD HAVE WORKED ON ME LIKE A CHARM. but instead we were able to flush it and even tho I've lost benj and I'm sad about it, I am very thankful that we got it flushed now and before merge. it's way more dangerous in merge. and like there was no way we could beat that. unless we split vote I guess but that wasn't possible. and also I just did not remember this was a thing BECAUSE NO ONE IN SURVIVOR HISTORY HAS USED A SUPERIDOL THE WAY IT WAS DESIGNED BECAUSE USING IT WOULD CAUSE MORE TROUBLES FOR THE HOLDER SO THEY ARE VERY STRATEGIC ABOUT IT JSAHHJASAHS so I'm actually excited to see how this carries raffy. would like to clarify I'm not anti raffy he's so nice and fun and this was such an exciting tribal thanks to him and I would have loveeeeed it as a viewer I'm just bitter because benj is gone and super idols suck. HASJHASJHASJH raffy if you read this do know I think you're great and congratulations I just think it was an easy way out WHICH IT WAS.

I guess it just made me feel powerless because there's nothing we could have done here to beat a superidol. and even if we did do Blake instead, it wouldn't change anything.

speaking of Blake he is really upset :(( I think making merge will cheer him up tho which is great because I think it's happening after this reward challenge for tickets

SPEAKING OF TICKETS

BENJ GAVE ME ALL HIS TICKETS AFTER DYING???????? AND IDK WHY LIKE do all the eliminated people get to give tickets to someone? and can it be anyone and not just someone on their tribe? much to think about. but this means I have 8 now which is pretty good I think. thank you benj I love u sm <3

it makes me wanna calculate how many tickets everyone had and who they would have given them to....hmmmm will think about it. benj has been the one who had the most upon leaving I think?

also my tarot was right because it gave raffy the tower and benj the hanged man and it all happened today AHHHH it's so sad how I predict things but don't know what it's predicting until it happens. makes me wanna reevaluate everything and see what it all could mean. could be handy.

I trust Chris the most here and I do trust Ricky I just hope they trust me. I do think we're gonna merge soon tho I really do. it makes sense.

I wonder if the tickets are for an auction or if they are the way to enter the outhouse yourself now. like the new idol system? maybe.

I'm excited to merge and get to talk to everyone and be with jinx and captain AND TALK TO JUDE MORE. YEEEE I just wish benj would have been able to join me :(((

stupid showy superidol

IT'S MY DAY 100 OF TUMBLR SURVIVOR OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD ITS ALSO MY 5 YEAR ORG ANNIVERSARY, PLEASE DON'T VOTE ME OUT THIS ROUND.

---

A true strategist's dream is a chessboard, and if we being honest, this is just Social Chess, never view anyone as a chess piece, but they're needed for movement. I'm going to be Jinx's favorite chess piece, because they need me too.

I can no longer trust Chris in this game. He chose his side, and he chose against me. If someone can fuck you over once then they can choose to do it again. I am not able to hold it against Mikki because I did not even try to reach out to her for the whole round. So, fair enough. However, Chris just decided that I needed to go because people thought I had an idol. I guess this is the outcome. He never even promised to rebuild the bridge of trust. He just gave me "I just don't want us to lose." He's 100% targeting me again if we go to tribal. I hope I'm sent to the Outhouse as my ass is grass if I remain in this place. Maybe if I have Blake it'll be fine. Right? 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Uo5w98Zm_5ih0fql6dxLjbnYelD7Mn5B_JhZxL18bkY/edit?usp=sharing

HERE is my spreadsheet with trust rankings and dm counts and stuff, I also added notes on all my trust rankings for each round and some of the dm counts so if you look carefully you'll see the black like corner thing that indicates a note and all my comments on that trust ranking or whatever will pop up if you hover shajhjsahjas hopefully that works

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO super duper califragilistically excited to do this reward challenge and hopefully avoid the Double council that I know is coming because I’m pretty sure Autumn is sick of Tua winning which is a weird sentence to type but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The plan really backfired heavy on us....I thought Raffy just had a half idol but nope, he had a SUPER IDOL and we lost Benj. It made for an awkward post tribal, but I'm just going to keep my head up. I am usually good with damage control so lets see what happens boom boom

---

Honestly, I liked this idea but I feel like I'm gonna be crippled by the fact that I am getting a little sick, we'll see though. I think I did okay with my damage control, but truth told, I would not blame Raffy or Blake if they wanted me out now. With Ricky back in the picture, I guess there is hope, but I have learned to not give peeps the FULL benefit of the doubt outright so I am going to sit and wait

---

I had another disaster and I pray that the one I could semi finish can be taken in, if it is, then I think I've got 4 tickets, but if not then I will forever be sad about what happened!

---

How in God's name didn’t I get 11 tickets?? I didn't even know I had more than 2

This twist is legit the worst thing to happen to me. I have no clue who I am going into tribal with. I don't have prior connections that other may have before the game. And my super idol play was super flashy. So, obviously, they would want to come for me as a prime target. I feel so defeated and I haven't even met these people yet. AND I have to go to work tomorrow so I can't even socialize/communicate as much as I would want in order to keep myself safe. I might as well be one foot in the grave at this point.

Ahhhhh I just made the merge!  Also with my pals too? Omg I hope Ricky lives at the vote. I hear Joey has been messy messy but also wants Captain?? We'll see how that goes, especially with Lily C and O Railroad there. I'm just excited for the next step in the game! I also missed Jinx and Jude so much!

Well….well….well. This is not what I anticipated. Good one, Autumn. I had a fantastic call with Jinx earlier today which helped me get a better handle and the game and feel more connected. I believe Raffy and Blake are working together and this is a great opportunity to separate them. Instantly Joey and I agree to call and figure out a plan. We both agree it’s gonna be best to get Ricky on our side. We both talk to Ricky and I suggest to Ricky that we go for Blake and he is down. Such a relief. It’s stressful to be this close to merge and think that it could slip away. I hope Joey lily o and I are on the same page no matter what. I haven’t been able to talk to her yet but I hope she is good to go for Blake. Fingers crossed.

I'LL MAKE VIDEO CONFESSIONALS WHEN ITS MERGE I SWEAR. But this is a really unique twist, I love it, but it also puts me and the Lily sandwich in a precarious position. Immediately, my thought was "go to Ricky and tell them I let them out of the War Room on Night 1", and boom, immediate bonding point, it turns out wonderfully, in talking to Ricky it was quite obvious they felt on the outs, with no power all season(they're either lying or its true, hey you never know), and for me its important to just keep them comfortable. We're voting out Blake for literally one reason: If we don't, Jinx is gonna kill us, cause yanno they're winning this game, its a foregone conclusion at this point.

---

God it's going to be brutal, imagine being Blake, not particularly well liked, and always going premerge. Maybe next time you'll finally make merge/jury, but nah you're not taking away my opportunities to shine.

---

Even at midnight on a Friday before merge, I still feel nervous, I always feel nervous, even if I'm in an incredible position, being a crucial swing in a pivotal vote to set the pace for the merge, it's absolutely crucial that I make sure Ricky is good with us 3, once again the 2 votes I've been in, I've been a key decision maker, making dreams come true, and making nightmares real too for others. Its a pretty delusional take that I'm seen as a valuable number, and that's what I need to be, the number to make moves possible, while also having the agency to play my cards right in the middle.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WON FOUR TICKETS IN THE AWARD CHALLENGE!!!!! I wasn't expecting that at all and I'm so delighted. AND THEN it turned out you needed 11 tickets to make it to merge and be immune from the last premiere vote and I had 15!!!! because of winning that and because of benj giving me four tickets when he was voted out. AND NOW IM FINALLY WITH JINX AND CAPTAIN AND JUDE AND AHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHHHHHHH ME AND JINX WERE JUST SCREAMING RIGHT AWAY AND I KNOW JINX AND CHRIS HAVE AN IDOL BETWEEN THEM COS THEY EACH FOUND HALF WOOOOOOO I FINALLY GET TO PLAY WITH THEM I CAN'T TELL YOU ENOUGH HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. but then I was chosen to go to the outhouse so I didn't get to talk for long and still haven't gotten to talk to captain properly or Jude so :(( and I found nothing in the outhouse but this isn't a complete loss. if captain didn't look there then I know Ricky has something and I can use this info and if captain did find whatever is in there then WOOO!!! and also I can potentially use the fear of me having something if I must and that opens up many fun opportunities. nevertheless this experience in the outhouse has given me knowledge and in survivor knowledge is a currency, and I'm gonna buy as much as I can with it. I DO REALLY HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO FAKE SOME KIND OF ADVANTAGE THO THAT WOULD BE SO FUN AND I DEFS HAVE THE MEANS TO DO IT ASHJASHJASHJ but I need a reason to you know asjhashjashjashj any who that's all I have to share for today but I MADE MERGE IN MY FIRST SURVIVOR GAME I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE IT I'M SHOCKED AHHHHHHHH now I get to play with people I love and meet new people and YEEEEE happy dance, I've exceeded my expectations so I'm just happy here on out. I hope I can do some fun things and game planning with jinx, captain and Chris now plssss

I can't believe I was literally half a point away from the ticket requirement. If I had just been a tiny bit higher, I would've made immunity and had the tickets to be safe. It's kinda on me though, I forgot the "pop culture" part of the post and only verified that when it was literally the last day of the challenge (one where I had work no less, so it's a miracle I was even able to submit). But anyway, the vote isnt gonna be the end of the world. The post-swap Tua tribe is sticking together, and we seem to be getting Ricky on our side for an easy Blake vote. First thing that was suggested to me so I'm totally okay with doing that because it's just easy. I just hope that if the other side looks anywhere its not at me

This game literally feels like a Jane Elliott experiment half the time, and it does kinda bother me, maybe I'm just so used to my privilege that its about time it gets switched up on me

https://youtu.be/kmd-HiEeofg

https://photos.app.goo.gl/j8YwvF9eCukGiMQx5

Guys, gals, non binary pals, I think I have done it. Merge, no votes cast against me, being a crucial piece to how plans come together. God, that was the easiest premerge of my life.

---

Friend of mine wanted to know about Tumblr Survivor. So we’re talking and she asks me what the hardest situation you’ve been in is and I said “ You’ve clearly never been in a 6 person group with you running a 3-3 split and you need a flip to basically guarantee your merge/jury spot

And you basically have all your friends breathing down your neck if you don't execute the right person, it's like cutting the wrong wire in a bomb scenario”

I think I made bonds very quickly and will just narrowly avoid getting voted out. However, Blake seems to be getting the votes which I do not want to do. But I fear that if I push Ricky to Joey and the Lily's then they will just vote for me. Ugh. This sucks. If I vote with Blake, then the best we could do is tie. However, that puts me in a rough spot at merge because I would have 3 people mad at me. This is a really tough vote to be a part of. I probably won't even know who I am voting for until the last minute. 

https://youtu.be/ewiPRjyvOzk

https://youtu.be/-iPG5SyOCOk blake this is your tape ITS NOT MEAN

[megape]

Blog; I Ramble About Love

I’m in that mood again where I want to be productive, but I’m probably not going to be. I really just (like always) want someone here beside me.

Ugh, beware, I’m going to gush about everything because I’m feeling like it and maybe someone can also relate to the frustration I’m feeling from it. Don’t read if you can’t handle some super honest thoughts and truths about my views on relationships/friendships/sexuality. 

Also, keep in mind that though I’m being honest, most of this rambling is just all my thoughts being pushed to the outside world. Writing helps keep me sane when I have too much going on in my brain. I enjoy being honest, but I hope everyone that reads this realizes I’m not some stickler with hard expectations. I just decided to put all my jumbled ideas and thoughts to “paper.” Read with discretion and an open mind. (//^-^//)

 I guess lately, well really, for the past year or so I’ve been really lonely(?) It hasn’t been in that desperate kind of way though that I think most people tend to affiliate it with. Sure I’d love to just make a wish in a well and *poof* I have someone to love right beside me. But lately I’ve been talking with God alot and He’s telling me to be patient. Obviously, if I’m patient it’ll be alot more clear when the right person comes waddling into my life, but because I feel so much all the time my heart just wants to jump right into things. I know that’s not healthy for me, but regardless it’s what my heart keeps pulling me to.

And it’s really frustrating because being a demisexual and typically not feeling sexually attracted to people leaves me wondering and uncertain at times. Half the time I hear my friends drool over someone passing by and they’ll make a sexual remark and I’m like, “Wow, I bet that person has something that makes them really happy and I want to listen to them talk about it.” I care so much about people. I love so hard. SO much. And it’s really hard for me to open up physically even though that’s exactly what my mind wants. I dunno, I’m very confused lately because I have been struggling with my mind tossing and turning over everything. I’m a hopeless romantic and the fact that I’ve finally put myself out there is SO scary. Like, I’m fragile, I know, but knowing that someday I could let someone into my heart again and them break it is terrifying to me. I just hope things go well for me. I guess sometimes with most relationships I make now with people I tend to set them up by telling them I’m mess and then also making sure they know that I’m very open to discussing things in person. Does anyone else do that? I know it’s because of my anxiety/being self-conscious, but you’re supposed to make things clear, right? I’m always trying to make sure the other person knows I want to grow and make the relationship/friendship/etc last. I’m willing to fight for it if they are. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else really feels that way or if we’re all just playing house. 

I don’t want to play house. I want real. I want genuine. I’m not afraid to say I want that. I don’t want people in my life that aren’t going to take the relationship seriously. Whether that’s family, friends, or a significant other. I truly want the other person to always know I’m here to stay unless they prove to not want to work on things that can cause harm to the relationship. My goal in life is to maintain happiness and healthy boundaries. I’ve got to abide by that for my own wellbeing and if we can agree to settle things like humans then great!

In addition, that’s not to say that I don’t believe in short relationships. Some people only stay around for a season and others a lifetime. We live and we learn from relationships and that’s healthy! I’m not about to force a relationship that has run its course; especially if the other person doesn’t want me in their life!

I’m rambling again, but really I just worry alot. I’m tired of being just Megan. I want someone who wants to invest in my heart and I. But then again, that’s almost like saying I’m not enough and that shouldn’t be the case. Being Megan is perfectly enough and I don’t need someone else to prove my worth.

I guess that seems like alot and it’s definitely not something I’d throw out there on the first date, but I’m not the kind of girl that likes short term. And to clarify once again, short term in this case means hookups or fake friendships. You’re in it with me to enjoy and adventure through life for the time being or you’re not. And it’s okay if that’s not what someone else wants, go do you boo. We all have different needs and wants! Find what makes you happy and healthy and pursue it!

Ideally, I want to give my S.O. the world and all my love along with it. I’ve got lots of it stored up that I’m willing to hand out. I’ve never been able to fully give out romantic love... probably because I’ve never been in a clearly defined committed and loving relationship, but I’m still capable of it. If people would just give me a chance. I’ve got lots to offer like hugs and midnight drives and flowers and balloons on sad days and surprise visits and hand holding and encouragement and so much more. It’d help if I knew your love language... and then I could just go all out. Mine right now has been physical touch. I want someone I can hold onto and curl up beside. I want someone who lets me sit beside them in silence and it be fine. I need steady and safe. I’m tired of all this fake stuff that seems to happen so often. I just want someone who wants to invest in me, my heart, and the things I love. And I promise to do the same for you with all that I have. I truly believe my purpose here is to love unconditionally. 

And to be completely honest, I have LOADS of love in my life right now from friends and family and my relationship spiritually, but there’s that different kind of love. Does anyone else other than myself obsess over the different types and how they receive them in different ways? There’s four that I believe in: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. I have Agape tattooed on me because that’s the love I strive to give to everyone, but granted philia is the most achievable towards strangers and friends. Storge is easy because my family gives me plenty of love and comfort. But it’s all the Eros love that’s being stored up that I have no one to share it with. I want to share companionship with someone. I want to invest in them and encourage them through their life. This all makes me laugh a little because everytime I hear “eros” all I can think of is Yuri!!! on Ice. But seriously, I’m a relatively simple person to love with the exception of all the useless amounts of information and ramblings of thought that go on in my head. But hey! That’s why I write. You could literally give me a flower from the ground that you picked up as you walked towards me and it’d keep my heart happy for days. I may talk a big game, but really I’m just looking for love like everyone else. Simple and sweet. Genuine and real. I’m not trying to make it seem unattainable, but rather, this is my way of helping me get all my thoughts out and realize someday someone will love me regardless of all the crazy stuff in my head. :P

Also, can I talk about how frustrating it is to be panromantic demisexual. Like, what are all these words and why am I feeling all of them at once?! Sexuality is so confusing, but to break it down, I’m feeling so disconnected from my sexuality right now. I get really scared that people won’t like me or choose to love me because of it too. Like, maybe they misinterpret and think I don’t want sex or that I’m too gay or too straight for them. I get SO scared from that. I love everyone equally and just because I’m more romantic than sexual doesn’t mean that doesn’t come later. That’s why I’m also demisexual! I do experience those feelings, but you’ve got to earn a special place in my heart first. I have to be able to trust you. Some of that is my embedded religious background, some from past heartbreak, and some just because that’s who I am. I take time to love, and I hope the right person doesn’t get scared away and understands I have trouble sometimes. I’m not perfect... and I don’t think they probably will be either so I’m not sure why I always think they’re going to be better than me. Honestly though anytime I develop a (serious) crush it’s like the other person fell from heaven. My therapist keeps telling me that I need to stop putting other people on pedestals and that they’re just like me with strengths and weaknesses. That’s what makes human love so unique, vulnerable, and special because a bond forms where you can be real with each other and know you’ll stay side by side. Ugh, I want that so bad...

I’m sure this is alot of heavy stuff, and I feel really weird putting this out on tumblr, but maybe someone else out there gets me. Once again, I’m thankful to the people in my life right now who have chosen to invest in me and be super cool individuals. I enjoy doing life beside you. I love you all and the silly quirks you bring along with you. Let’s make memories. We’ve got one life, let’s live it lovingly!

[thejokersenigma]

Joker x Reader Deadly Voice Part 30

Hiya Guys,

I can’t believe I am on part 30 and I’ve now been writing for over 4 months! Ahhh! I also can’t believe that people are actually liking and enjoying my writing so thank you guys all so much! i really appreciate it more than you can possibly understand!

Ok anyway here’s the next part, again not 100% happy with it - but I never am! So have it anyway!

I promise I will put some Joker in the next chapter?

Anyway enjoy!

Warnings: Brief mention of suicide

Masterlist

“What is this?” I asked grabbing the phone from Frost’s hand and reading the article - scanning it desperately to find what the headline could possibly mean. There was no main picture with the article, but I knew –from the title alone -it was about the Joker.

My eyes flickered over the large body of text and some of the words seem to stand out in bold to me – ‘…Joker’, ’ …met his demise’, ‘…suicide’, ‘…death’. Panic began to set into my body, my hands becoming clammy, my breaths shorter, and my heart beat unsteady. “Frost what is this?!” I repeated desperately at the screen, not looking at him as I blinked rapidly at the tears pricking at my eyes and blurring my vision.

“Read it.” He simply told me and he too seemed to be struggling with what was on the screen. I took a breath to try to get myself under control and focus on the whole article, now taking my time now to actually read the full page. It was dated from an hour earlier and the words swam and danced in front of me till I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. Finally I could read it, “It’s been two weeks since the Arkham escapee ‘The Joker’ was last seen on the streets of Gotham. It is unknown if this lack of activity is signalling the end of his recent run of crime or if another attack is still in the planning.

The GCPD has so far refused to confirm or deny whether they or the Batman have apprehended the clown prince of crime, but - in a surprising twist today – reports have begun to circulate that the jesting villain may have met his demise.

So far no body has been identified but rumours on the streets of Gotham vary- some claiming there was a possible suicide attempt by the well-known psychopath; others claiming it was by the hand of the masked vigilante Batman – but with the clear theme of the psychotic clown’s death.

There has still yet to be any evidence provided to support any of the theories suggested so far and speculation still remains on the Joker’s current whereabouts. The GCPD -

I broke off there, my eyes once again blurring too much as the tears slide down my face. I handed Frost back his phone and I peeked at him through the hair that fell across my eyes – trying to see if I could catch any emotions on his face. He seemed low, his frown more sad than grumpy now, but he showed no obvious distraught unlike me. When I fully raised my head and looked at him properly he met my gaze and there seemed almost pity in his eyes – probably for me and the state I had worked myself into - but also what seemed to be concern – concern for the Joker. What had happened? Was he truly dead? Was I too late to make it to Gotham?

By this point I no longer cared what reason I had given myself to justify returning to Gotham – I could no longer lie to myself that my decision had come from wishing to save innocent civilians who got in his way. Heck, now – if the article was true – they would probably be much safer!

But I no longer cared about them – and had I ever truly? Every last person could die now for all I cared if it would only ensure he was alive. I was a selfish person, making excuses so that I didn’t feel I was an insane little girl running back into the arms of my tormentor.

But now I didn’t care anymore.

I couldn’t lie to myself or anyone else anymore. If there was even a remote chance he was alive I had to know. I had to go to Gotham and find him – dead or alive.

As I had become lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice how shallow my breathing had gotten, how shaky my hands. I began to become detached from everything around me, my head becoming dizzy and cloudy. I became so numb that I didn’t even notice Frost move towards me and I only vaguely acknowledged my knees giving way beneath me.

I never felt myself hit the floor.

When I became conscious once more I was confused.

I couldn’t recall anything from before – what day was it? Did I have a shift? Did my alarm wake me up? Why wasn’t it still chiming?

Then memories began to flow back through my mind – was any of that a dream? I could remember talking to Frost at the door, then him appearing in my living room, then him leaving. Snap shots of recollections playing across my eyelids. I could remember opening the door my front door once more to go searching for Frost, but what then –

The Phone.

The Article.

I snapped my eyes open - the bright light from the surrounding windows causing me to squint. As my eyes adjusted I noticed I was in the passenger seat of a large SUV which Frost appeared to be driving down a long stretch of open highway. I blinked some more in the daylight, my eyes still sore and raw from crying earlier, and watched the farmed fields and occasional town sliding past.

I turned to look across to the driver side where Frost was sat staring straight ahead, both hands gripping the wheel tightly.

He glanced over at me as I pushed myself more upright, shifting in my seat and groaning as I moved -  my neck protested sharply at the change in angle. “Ugh – How long was I out?” I asked, my voice sound croaky from sleep.

“About an hour.” He replied, keeping his eyes on the road. I didn’t know what to say to that, and so a silence fell between us, the only sound in the car coming from the roar of the engine and road. I sat looking forward, watching the brake lights of vehicles in front of us light up as I came to grips with the situation I found myself in and what had happened before I woke up. Why had I fainted?

“Frost.” I started cautiously, sensing his tense mood. “What happened?”

“You had a panic attack.” He informed me, “You blacked out from it.”

Well that was odd. I hadn’t had a panic attack since I was little – and never one strong enough to knock me out. I could feel my cheeks warming as I thought about poor Frost left alone to deal with a women who had just fainted in front of him. “I’m sorry.” I muttered humiliated, no longer able to look at him.

“No need to –“ he mumbled uncomfortably and became incoherent over the noise of the road.

We couldn’t look at each now, both a bit self-conscious or embarrassed about the whole thing. I kept my eyes staring out of the passenger window, acutely aware of how red my cheeks must be. I tried to take my mind off it by looking for an indication of where we were, or a road sign telling me where we might be heading.

“Frost.” I started once more, trying to break the awkward silence between us. “Are we going to Gotham?” I asked turning back to him.

He shot a quick look at me to gage how I felt about this before he gave a nod, “Yes.” He confirmed, “And before you start yelling I can explain. I –“

“It’s alright Frost. Don’t worry about it.” I said, interrupting him before he began another long speech in an attempt to convince me that this was the right thing to do. I watched his eyebrows crinkle in confusion as he continued to watch the road.

“You’re not mad that I basically abducted you?” he questioned.

“No.” I said simply like it was no big problem. “I would probably have come anyway.” I admitted, shrugging and looking back out the window. Frost still looked confused and I realised I had never told him about my change in heart about returning to Gotham. “I was going to come find you, by the way.” I clarified, glancing over at his profile, “I changed my mind - I want to go back.”

Any reactions he had to this sudden revelation he chose to keep hidden under his emotionless mask – though I thought I saw a glimpse of relief in his eyes. He was probably glad that I wasn’t going to put up a struggle, not that there was much I could do in a locked vehicle travelling way over the speed limit down a highway in the middle of nowhere.

We fell quiet again, but now that the air was cleared between us it felt more relaxed, almost companionable, and I noticed that Frost’s hands had loosened slightly on the steering wheel. I turned back to my window to watch the world fly by - the sun now almost at its highest point in the sky, though partially hidden behind clouds of different shades that lazily floated by reminding me of the never ending questions that drifted in my mind.

“Uh – Frost?” I said abruptly, getting his attention, “Are we really driving all the way to Gotham?” I knew that would take days - at least 2 days - and that would be without any breaks along the way.

“No.” He answered, glancing in the rear view mirror and signalling to change lanes, “We’re driving to the nearest airport.”

“Oh. Ok.” I acknowledged lamely, not sure what else to say and my courage to ask more was failing me. Though I now felt I knew Frost better, he still continued to intimidate me, at some times more than others and I was very aware that he that the upper hand in this situation – being the driver and actually aware of where we were. Though I had yelled and bullied him back at my house on the farm, I was no longer in my comfort zone – in fact I was probably at least 100 miles from my comfort zone – and I knew it. I no longer felt brave or strong and felt almost completely at Frost’s mercy. I didn’t like it one bit.

To take my mind off these depressing and worrying thoughts I - once again - returned my gaze to the scenery outside my window, took a deep, slightly shaky breath, and considered the reason behind the  current state of things.

There was a good chance the Joker was dead.

There was also a chance he wasn’t.

I was in love with the Joker.

If – upon returning to Gotham city - he was dead I would be heart broken and at a complete loss as to what to do about it.

If he wasn’t, I would be suddenly confronted with a very much alive and – by the sounds of it – much more psychotic joker. And still at a complete loss as to what to do about it.

So I was going into this with no plan what so ever.

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. How were we even going to find him? How did Frost know where he would be? Sure he must know the Joker’s hideouts, but what if they changed? What if he was dead? Where would he be then?

“Um, Frost?” I inquired, plucking up the courage to question him once more. He nodded slightly to show he was listening, “Uh – What – what are we doing?” I asked, “What’s the plan here?”

He paused a moment, as if considering the best way to explain it, “We are going back to Gotham to look for the Joker.” He stated matter-of-factly, almost as though I was just another henchman and he was briefing me on our mission.

“Yes…” I drew out, “But… um, how are we going to find him?” I asked, nervously fiddling with my fingers on my lap.

“Our best hope is he’s just laying low at the moment.” Frost informed me, “If that’s the case then there are several hideouts he may be at. We need to head to each one and search them.” He explained, keeping his eyes ahead, not looking at me once. “Hopefully we will find him. I we don’t we may at least get an idea of where he’s gone.”

“How many places are we talking?” I asked, wondering if he was referring to 3 buildings or 50.

“A lot.” He said simply. I gulped, there goes at least my next week probably – and I wasn’t sure how much time we had left – if any.

“That’ll take forever.” I pointed out.

“You got a better idea?” He asked sarcastically, raising one eyebrow and glancing over at me. I thought about it for a bit, turning away from him to watch the white road marks slide by as I thought. There had to be a better way, a quicker, more efficient way to do this. But how was I supposed to know?

And so I spent the rest of the drive pondering different options to keep my mind from other things.

At the airport I awkwardly followed Frost around, not really knowing what his plan was to get us on a plane that would leave within the next 30 minutes.

Somehow – god knows how but I believe it involved a large sum of money – he managed to secure us 2 tickets - both 1st class too, I noted as I glanced at the ticket he handed to me. How much money did this man have?!

I had never sat in first class before – surprise, surprise – and I felt like an imposter sat in their curtain off area in a plush reclining bed-chair, each with their own private screen. Why did we have to sit in 1st class?! It was like a half an hour flight – barely enough time to have the complimentary drink! I didn’t touch the sparkling water I order, too anxious to enjoy any of the luxuries that lay before me, instead I stared out the round little port hole window at the wispy clouds and blue sky, thinking about everything I would have to deal with when we eventually landed.

I was still hopeless trying to figure out a way we could find the Joker quicker – but how was I supposed to know what to do? I didn’t know their whole operation or how things ran – how was I going to know if there was a better idea? Sure, if Frost was talking to a henchman at least they would know a bit more about everything that went on – they might actually be able to give a useful sug-.

“Frost!” I called across the aisle, where he sat reading his phone screen. He looked up at me, frowning and clearly a bit surprised at my sudden wish to talk when I had been completely silent since we’d gotten out of the car. “Do you know any henchman that might have been with the Joker?” I asked hopefully.

“There were some guys still around when I left. Why?” he asked, crinkling his forehead in confusion.

“Could you ring any of them?” I inquired excited by my brain wave and not answering his question.

“I don’t have their numbers.” He informed me, returning his gaze to his phone, “It’s all part of security. No one has anyone numbers – expect the boss - in case anyone is caught and might compromise our operation.” He explained.

“Oh.” I mumbled, feeling deflated that my idea failed, but I supposed it made sense. “So how do you communicate?” I asked – just generally interested now.

“Radios.” He said simply without looking up.

“Ok…” I said, drawing it out as I tried to think of a way to rework my plan, “Do you know where any of them live?” He looked back up - seeming to be intrigued with where I was going with this

“Yeah. It’s my job to know.” He said matter-of-factly.

“Well, why don’t we go see a couple of them first?” I proposed, “Ask them if they have any ideas where to try? It might limit the number of sites we have to hit?” I suggested a bit nervously now – self-conscious by his full sudden full interest in what I was saying and worried it was a ridiculous idea – why else wouldn’t he have come up with it?

He seemed to consider if for a bit – looking for the flaws in my plan. “Yeah. Maybe.” He eventually admitted before once again becoming glued to his phone screen. We remained in silence for the rest of the flight.

I stuck to Frost like glue when we disembarked the plane – not entirely sure what we were going to do next. I followed him as we fought our way through those heading for luggage collection and out into a large main hall. Frost strode forward through the crowd, people parting before him, whilst I followed behind like a second shadow in the space left behind. I watched the people that milled around the large hall - men with briefcases, women in tight pencil skirts and heels, young children with brightly coloured rucksacks and crew members dressed in their varying uniforms.

Eventually the signs overhead seemed to suggest that Frost was leading me in the direction of taxis, trains, buses and car rentals and I soon found myself stepping out of the elevator into the airport’s multi-storey car park.

“Wait here.” Frost ordered me as we entered the third floor of parked cars. I frown at his back in confusion at his command as he continued to walk away from me, but did as he said – remaining by the entrance.

I watched him as he walked down past the row of cars, moving in and out of the small dim spotlights that illuminated small circles of the tarmac floor. He kept turning his head slightly either way as he checked the surroundings, finally stopping side of a SUV similar to what we had previously travelled in, although this one appeared to be a deep blue colour. He moved down the side of the car and stopped so he faced the driver’s door. I couldn’t see what he was doing as his actions hidden by the rows of cars between me and him, but he seemed to be fiddling with something in front him, his arms moving in jerks and tweaks.

All of a sudden he pulled back and then tried the car door, and I was amazed when it opened. Did he already have the keys for it? Then he slid into the driver’s seat and sat there for a few more moments appearing to now be toying with something in the car. All of a sudden the car’s engine roared and erupted into life. Was he stealing that car?!

He closed the driver’s door behind him and drove out of the space before pulling up next to me. When I didn’t move from my frozen state on the pavement he leant across the car to push open the passenger door. “Get in.” He grunted curtly at me. I hesitated only for a second before doing as instructed. He quickly accelerated away before I had even closed the door and I gripped my seat tightly to make sure I didn’t fly out of the chair as I heard the tyres screech beneath me.

When I finally felt secure, the door now closed and my seatbelt finally fastened, I turned to look at his profile as he drove out of the car park. “Did you just steal a car?!” I demanded.

“Didn’t have time to arrange one.” He said gruffly, not looking at me. When I didn’t say anything he glanced at me and must have noticed the shock still on his face, “Oh come on, you can’t be that surprised.” He muttered, clearly annoyed at how long it was taking for me to adjust to the fact that he was a criminal and therefore did criminal things.

I shook my head in amazement about how relaxed he was about what he had just done had, but decided there was no point in trying to get him to understand that his actions weren’t actually legal – this was probably not the first time he had done this, and I doubted it would be the last.

Instead I moved my gaze to the window, watching the different cars that lined us on either side slide past in the pools of artificial light, trying to come to terms with sitting in a stolen car and being yet another accomplice to a crime.

Eventually we emerged into the light of the day - though there wasn’t much of it.

Gotham was just exactly as I remembered it, as I gazed out of my tinted window, the same gloomy skies and dirty streets, the same noisy traffic rushing past and people pushing their way through crowds in their thick coats. Home I thought as Frost drove us through the streets, the tall imposing office buildings towering over us. It was home and I had truly missed it - only really realising it now that I was back in the comfort of its familiarity.

After having drunk in the sights around me I turned back to Frost, “So where are we going?”

[canvaswolfdoll]

CanvasWatches: Violet Evergarden

Ugh, I hate writing about good shows. It’s always so difficult to find something to talk about. With bad or average material, it’s so much easier to point at weak points and say ‘Yes, that wasn’t good. Here’s what I would do.’ Which is my favorite exercise when watching things.

But Violet Evergarden is good. Real good. The only complaint I could imagine lobbying is that Netflix didn’t simuldub it stateside. The villains.

I mean, it’s a show with a blonde protagonist who, out of love, lost limbs and had them replaced by mechanical prosthetics, with the actual story happening in a quasi-european setting approximately after a WWI analogue. Somehow, it’s not Fullmetal Alchemist, nor does it try to be. Freaking Magnus Bride had less superficial similarities, and it still fell into that trap.

It’s laudable.

What Violet Evergarden does do is done amazingly.

Spoilers, by the way. Go watch the show now, it’s that good.

I don’t cry for fiction. This isn’t a macho claim, I honestly view it as a minor failing of mine. I can identify sad and tragic parts of a piece, and I have emotions,[1] but when it comes to fiction, there’s just too big of a separation for me. I can see the strings.

This remains true for Violet Evergarden, but there are some real strong attempts to coax tears. Strong and original.

I like the ‘Girl learning to be Human’ trope.[2] Well, Person learning to be human, but, well, cute girls make everything better.

Point is, there’s a charm to watching someone who, through their personal circumstances, has zero idea how to operate in society, and approaches everything with naivety and a hunger to learn.[4] It’s a good character premise that gives ample comedic potential (Faux Pas, satire, general oddity), dramatic potential (lost time, awkwardness, satire again), and fanservice if you feel the need to provide it. It’s a great tool for side stepping ‘As You Know’ exchanges and still actually teach your audience about your fantastical world![5]

Violent is given this status by, initially, being raised as a tool for war. She doesn’t know her family, her age, nor have a name when she’s gifted to The Major by his brother, and from there begins her journey to learn to be a human.

It’s not until she’s finally removed from the context of war and loses the man she devoted herself to that she can truly begin learning the hardest part: empathy.

And you thought my ‘don’t cry at media’ tangent was unrelated! Ah-ha!

Up until Violet begins her job as an Auto Memory Doll[6] people existed in one of three categories: Enemy (people to kill), Allies (people not to kill), and The Major (Person to take orders from). Sure, The Major gave her a name, and taught her to read and write, but on the battlefield, where most people have to be broken down into a state of “Kill or be Killed”, it’s hard to teach a young girl to be a person.

We begin the story right at the point of transition: Violet has lost both her arms, hasn’t heard from The Major since their last operation, and the war’s pretty much over. And her broach is missing. A lot’s happening suddenly, and she’s being taken off by a retired officer turned postal company president, Claudia Hodgins. It’s a confusing time for those involved.

Here’s a fun trivia fact I had to have explained to me: you may ask yourself ‘Why does Violet bite things? It sure helps make her seem alien, but why did she develop the habit?’ Well, Violet doesn’t have hands anymore, so that leaves her sensitive lips to feel things with![7]

Anyways, per The Major’s wishes, at first Hodgins attempts to leave her with some of The Major’s relatives (The Evergardens), the matriarch of which expresses hope that she and Violent can help comfort the other after losing family to the war.

Violent, of course, misreads the intent and explains she won’t be able to replace to Ms. Evergarden’s son. Violet is also generally uncomfortable with this prospective life of not doing anything or receiving orders, so runs after Hodgins, rejecting the Evergarden home.

She does, apparently, have no qualms taking the surname, which seems like a weak justification for it. She’s closer to The Major, shouldn’t she have adopted that complex noble name instead?

Speaking of which, an anime trope grosser than Student/Teacher relationships: The Usagi Drop![8] It’s a romantic relationship where one of the participants (literally or essentially) raised the other! Ah-ha, what a disgusting abuse of a power structure.

Now, to the anime’s credit, there’s at least ambiguity to Violet and The Major’s exact feelings towards each other. The Major isn’t around to clarify if he views Violet Paternally or Romantically, and Violet’s still working through being emotional stunted. However, it’s ambiguous enough to make both options equally likely.

During the first couple of episodes, the meaning of The Major’s ‘I love you’ being a romantic confession could’ve been kosher, and even expected. But as Violet’s backstory is revealed, and we learn that The Major pretty much raised Violet, romance ceases to be charming and instead shifts into worrying.

This isn’t helped when a parallel is drawn with a diplomatic engagement between a 14-year old princess and a prince at least 10 years her senior.

Surprisingly, when it comes to royal pairings, I find myself a bit more forgiving about more squickier elements. Yes, the massive difference in ages isn’t an ideal depiction, and the princess being underaged by modern standards doesn’t help, and the fact it always seems to be an older man courting the younger woman is troublesome.

However, what the situation does have is extenuating circumstances. It’s not just a precocious crush being exploited; it’s years of bad tradition, diplomatic planning, and the fact that it’s two individuals obviously trying to make the best of a bad situation.

The princess is going to get married off to someone for diplomatic gain, might as well be to someone who’s shown empathy for the princess and the situation.

But for Violet and The Major, I would hope the final call comes down on The Major viewing Violet as an adopted daughter

There’s a second major point of ambiguity surrounding The Major to drive the plot: is he dead? Most of the cast accept that his Missing in Action status after a major bombing of the building Violet was found in means the man’s likely dead, but Violet holds out hope.

In most stories, if The Major was still alive, there’d be more hints than provided by the anime, or they’d just accept he was dead and continue forward.

The Major being dead provides a stronger break and arc for Violet. Not only has the war she’d been existing for ended, but the man she’d been devoted to entirely is also gone. At the start of the series, Violet has nothing and must rebuild herself. To deny closure of that chapter by letting The Major be in hiding would just undermine the entire opening premise.

So, of course, the last shot of the series is an ambiguous shot of Violet arriving at the house of an unseen client and stumbling with her well rehearsed introduction, giving the audience a winking ‘Is he?’.[9]

If he is alive, it’d be a massive jerk move because it’s not just Violet’s life he’s derailing and introducing tragedy to. Major Gilbert Bougainvillea has a family, after all, including a mother who mourns him and a brother with undirected rage over the loss of his younger brother. Also friends probably. We’re not given any real reasons for The Major to crawl out of that final battle, put his fists on his hips and say ‘Sweet. I’m gonna abandon my old life!’ Admittedly the backstory of The Major is very light in the anime adaption, but that lightness also paints a lack of past tragedy.

The rules of ‘show don’t tell’ and ‘write the story about the most interest point in the character’s life’ also implies that which is not depicted is not interesting.

Thus, The Major should be dead and should stay dead.

Which concludes my… review of a single character…

Let’s talk about the show proper.

Much like Isle of Dogs, it ticks off a few items on my favorite things list, but more of the narrative devices.

It’s a series of vignettes with a reoccuring protagonist acting as bridge, set in a light fantasy world that is much closer to modern day than is traditional, and has major emphasis on writing as a narrative device. And alsi fantasy prosthetics, a fondness that will go unexamined today!

Also, one of the other Auto-memory Dolls wears glasses.

It’s produced by Kyoto Animation, which I think is tying with Studio BONES for my favorite studio (based solely on the works they produce), which is a major plus.

The individual episodes are very character-driven, including one about a playwright that made me really want to get back into writing plays myself.[10]

Most episodes explore Violet from the perspective of the episode’s client, while offering some world building. Episodes one and two, as a pair, exist to introduce Violet and the world, and thus don’t have much for Hodgins (who gets his development through the rest of the series) and Erica (who doesn’t actually get much besides explaining the origins of typewriters and the term ‘Auto Memory Doll’).

Episode three is when the series rolls up its sleeves and says “Ah, we’re learning what it means to feel emotions? Get ready to choke!” and sends Violet to school, where everyone’s soul goes to die!

While trying to earn a coveted accreditation, Violet meets Luculia, who lost both her parents in the war while her brother returned home with an injured leg and a chip on his shoulder. During the course, Violet shows she can get the practical skills down easily enough, but when it comes to putting any actual soul into her letters, she turns in only tense reports.

Luculia graduates top of the class while Violet does not. Still, Luculia has decided she’s friends with Silver Arms, and sets to help Violet do better. Luculia’s attempts fail, and instead the two have a short heart to heart. Luculia’s brother has fallen to drink and hasn’t come to terms with coming home from war to find his parents gone, and Luculia doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s nice that they still have one another.

Violet takes that in, writes a letter for the brother, and repairs the relationship! Yay!

But that’s the formula. Everyone knows those beats! Got to earn the heart-wrench.

Episode four, Violet escorts her co-worker Iris back to Iris’s hometown for a surprise birthday party. Iris isn’t happy about this turn around, due to a rejection of her feelings and her parents not really supporting her life path.

Again, Violet writes a letter, makes everyone feel better. As you do.

But we also learn the origins of names: Iris got hers from the flowers blooming when she was born, and Violet… got hers at the training center when The Major awkwardly realized Violet didn’t have a name. Thus strengthening the parent/child relationship of The Major and Violet and they better not make this gross, I swear!

Then we reach the royal engagement. I mostly discussed that in the relationship dissertation, but episode five is a strong examination of making a relationship work, despite distance, age, obligations, and other fragile matters. The episode also gently nods to the fragile state the continent’s in after the war, with dissidents to the results of the war still out there, waiting to take center stage.

Episode six is fine. It is. Massive library, Violet meets a reclusive nerd scared to follow the path of his parents. Reclusive nerd crushes on Violet. Violet is ignorant of his feelings because of course, and she accidentally inspires him to change jobs from researcher to Action Archivist! Roaming the world searching for lost texts! Good world building, not heavy on the emotions.

And so we come to Episode Seven: probably the closest I’ve arrived at crying in years.[11]

Violet is hired to transcribe a famous playwright’s newest play. He’d been out of the public eye for a while, but he’s much lauded. However, his house is a mess, he’s slow to get the work started with Violet, using her as a maid for a bit and inspiring her to try cooking.[12]

Anyways, Oscar Webster is writing a children’s play. His first, I believe.  Which is a dead give away for his emotional problems.  Still, the snippets we get really showcase the creative writing process and hit me with nostalgia for the Theater for Young Audience class I took once, and the child’s theater summer camp I worked for.

Then we get flashbacks to Oscar and his daughter moving into a new place after his wife’s passing,[13] then watching his daughter progress through what is one hundred percent cancer as we get the snippets of what inspires the play.

And Violet meets him living alone in his ill kept house.

Which is where I’m ending my summary.

Violet Evergarden is a good anime. Beautiful visuals, distinct characters, strong world building, and amazing writing.

Go watch it now.

Though, on your way over, consider supporting my Patreon. Then, after you watch all of Violet Evergarden, come talk to me about it. And maybe check out the other things I’ve written and drawn and otherwise created. Especially since I’ve decided I’ve procrastinated long enough on a certain project.[14]

After all, August 1st is coming. Sounds like a good day to go camping and/or catch a wave.

Kataal kataal.

[1] Often strong ones! [2] A specific variant of the Fish out of Water trope that, unfortunately, TV Tropes doesn’t seem to have an entry for, as it hasn’t been applied to Violet.[3] [3] Wait, found a video essay. “Born Sexy Yesterday”. Which, admittedly, examines the trope’s problemsome aspects, but,eh, I stand by its strengths. [4] This is why Starfire is the best character on Teen Titans. fight me. [5] I keep meaning to use it myself, but the concept I have would spoil a major setting secret for my current project. [6] A scribe with a typewriter. Anime has an ability to give fanciful names to things at a level I hope someday to emulate. [7] Why she did it during the flashback when The Major got her the broach is anyone’s guess. Maybe it relates to that anecdote about a kid eating a letter from Maurice Sendak. [8] Named for a manga that was apparently pretty cute until it suddenly really wasn’t. At all. I haven’t read it, but reputations do flourish. [9] The light novel isn’t as ambiguous, but I won’t spoil it. Also, totally looking forward to picking it up once it gets translated. [10] I guess I do have that play about tabletop rpgs that needs another draft with a better plot… [11] Since I came downstairs after bedtime at exactly the wrong time of a medical drama show. Was like, four or five. Saw a man coughing up blood. Good times. Before my soul froze up and withered to the merry husk I have now. [12] I really like seeing cooking used as a narrative device. [13] Moving after a spouse dies is a very sad and subtle trope. [14] Though a Three Leaves, Three Colors review may pop up first. It’s the current bedtime anime.

[sincerelymarinette]

A Recorded Life (48/50) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 1597 Chapter Summary: Time to figure out what they found at the Agreste Mansion and take some action. Soon enough this war with Hawkmoth will end... Author's Note: I lowkey love this chapter. Gives out underdogs some more screentime :) only two chapters left and I'm so excited to write them!! ALSO, IT'S OFFICIAL! There will be a mini-sequel!! Mayve 5-10 parts because I really want to touch on what happens after this story in my youtube au universe and I feel like the chapters of this youtube au have been lacking actual videos oops. Keep an eye out for that after the story ends! (On wattpad, it will be posted in the same book!)

Prev / Next / Masterlist

Tracking

---

Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Rena Rouge found everything they needed at the mansion. Alya was able to download pretty much everything on Gabriel's computer, even the locked stuff. It would take her a little longer to crack it, but she would get into that soon enough. Plus, there was a hit on the bug. They all knew it wasn't them because it was planted as they were leaving last time, and it wasn't Gorilla because he has been staying at the Bourgeois hotel to accommodate him while he's out of a job. He wouldn't go back to the Mansion; it would put him at risk, and Adrien didn't think that was a possibility.

Since the bug had a hit, they got out of the Mansion as fast as they could. They don't know what would happen if they ran into Hawkmoth without the full team, and with their guard down, it was better to stick together. Luckily, getting back to the bakery was easy, and as Alya worked on her computer with Nino, the other three listened to the bug.

There was a lot of muffled noise, like walking and random buzzing, but once they heard a deep voice, they all perked up. It wasn't the easiest thing to understand, but they were still able to get something out of it.

"That Akuma was a mistake," The voice of Adrien's dad grumbled. "They needed to shut up."

"Well, it's too late for that," Nathalie's voice came through much quieter. "We shouldn't even be here. We should get back to the-"

It got quiet, and the team assumed there was a silent action that made them stop. "No, I need to check on something," Gabriel insisted. "We will go back to being off the gird soon. Just trust me," He said.

"Yes," Nathalie said. "You're sure Adrien doesn't know about the Etserga home?" She asked.

"Positive. His mother and I kept it a secret from him just in case. Sure, this wasn't its intended use, but it's working-" They paused again. "They've been here...recently. We have to go," He said quickly, and their footsteps followed, running.

Adrien looked confused. "The what home?" He said just above a whisper.

"I heard et-something," Chloé said.

"Alya," Marinette turned to her. "Anything about a home starting with e-t?" She asked. Alya nodded as she typed away, and a few seconds later, put her head in her hand.

She sighed loudly. "Well, we never did say Hawkmoth was the smartest. He's got something in here about Etserga, but it's a locked folder. I'll get into it, just give me a few minutes," Alya said. "But that's Agreste spelled backward," She laughed slightly and went back to typing.

Adrien turned back to the group and looked more confused than before. "I wonder why they kept it a secret from me," He said. "Seems like they were always planning to do something evil."

Marinette put her hand on Adrien's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Adrien," She said. "You know we're right here with you. He won't get away with this."

Adrien didn't respond, but a small smile grew on his face, and he shut his eyes, laying his head on Marinette's shoulder.

---

"I don't know how much time we'll have," Rena Rouge warned as she held her flute in one hand and her phone in the other. "I can hold the Mirage of us, but we don't want to take any risks," She said.

"We'll be quick," Carapace promised. "We just need to get confirmation that this is the right place," He reminded.

Queen Bee scoffed as she nearly tripped in the forest. "No wonder Adrien didn't know about this place, it's in the middle of nowhere!" She complained.

"Yeah, I think that's the point of a hideout," Carapace joked. "I still don't understand why they didn't tell him."

"Gabriel's weird, why would he?" Rena Rouge said. "Okay, stop, we're getting close," She said and put her phone down and bringing her flute to her mouth. Once she finished her song, the three blended in with the forest surrounding them. They didn't want to get too close, but this would protect them from even having the chance to be seen. "We have to be quiet, too, don't forget," She told them.

The three heroes were silent once they got closer, they had no idea what could be in this forest, and they don't want to be caught off guard. If Hawkmoth found them snooping around, they would lose everything they've been working towards.

"There's a house," Queen Bee whispered and pointed straight ahead.

"That's gotta be it," Rena Rouge nodded, looking down at her phone and back up at the house. It wasn't very big, and looked a bit run down. Probably to make it look like no one lived there, keep it out of any suspicion.

The group moved out of direct sight of the house and hid behind a few trees. "Just because he can't see us doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful," Rena Rouge said. "Let's do this quick and get back to Marinette and Adrien," She said.

"Got it," Both Carapace and Queen Bee responded at the same time.

"Shell off," Carapace called quietly. It took Wayzz a few seconds to adjust to being out of the bracelet, and Nino gave him a quick snack. Once Wayzz adjusted, he took his part in the plan. Wayzz sighed. "He's definitely in there; I can feel Nooroo. He's sad and nervous," He said. "I've felt Nooroo before, but this is much worse," He reported.

Rena Rouge nodded. "Great. I'll let Marinette know we're coming back. Suit up and let's get out of here," She said. "This ends soon."

---

Adrien and Marinette sat out the visit to the woods. They knew Alya, Nino, and Chloé could handle it alone, and it could have caused issues if all five went. Besides, Adrien was exhausted, and if they were right, this fight could happen sooner than expected, and Adrien needed to be rested.

He still couldn't believe that his mother was in a secret garden basement the whole time. It had been years, and he thought he and his father had finally gotten through all the pain...but no. Adrien needed a mental break, which is also why they stayed back.

Adrien and Marinette sat on the couch with a random movie playing. Adrien was focused on the movie, and it was nice to have a distraction. Marinette distracted herself with editing a fashion video she filmed a few weeks ago- she had a few as "in case" recordings if she was going to miss an upload day. Though her upload streak has majorly died recently, due to essential circumstances, editing videos always got her mind focused and off the superhero world.

She decided to take a break and look at some recent comments on her videos. She was a little afraid of what she would find, but she wanted to know what her fans thought.

I miss marinettes daily videos but i hope her and everyone is doing okay. I can't imagine the kind of mental and psycial stress the crew is under right now. Mari, we stand behind you!!

I love mari and her crew. I can't wait for them to kick hm's ass once and for all. You guys got this!

ugh i get why she cant upload but i miss her and adrien. they always make me so happy

Adrien idk if you read mari's comments but if you do: I love you and I hope you're doing okay, I can't imagine what you're going through and I wish you the best. Mari give Adrien a big hug from all of us!

I can't wait to see how the world changes after they get rid of hawkmoth, like that will be iconic. I hope they record his demise.

> I hope they don't, that will be traumatic for Adrien to see everywhere. For all of them really, please be considerate

>> yes taking him down will be iconic, but we need to remember they are actual people...TEENAGERS having to do this

mari adrien alya nino chloe thank you

Mari is a BOSS, you're doing amazing. I'll keep watching all your videos over and over and over again to keep supporting you in any way I can. I'm not from Paris but i know they love you!!

Marinette was pleasantly surprised by how kind most of her comments were. They were sensitive to her situation, but she wasn't sure what changed. She hasn't been on social media at all recently, so maybe some nationwide campaign about being kind to the heroes happened. Honestly, she wouldn't be surprised at this point. Nothing really surprises her anymore.

"They're there!" Alya, Nino, and Chloé shouted as the burst through the door.

The sudden noise scared Marinette and Adrien, and they were both staring at the group with wide eyes, more awake than ever. "Wayzz could feel Nooroo. We found them," Alya clarified.

"Great," Marinette nodded, set her computer on the couch, and stood up. "Then we go through with the plan."

"If I may," Wayzz flew from behind Nino. "You all are a great team and I support the plan. But please remember that Hawkmoth has made it clear that he does not care that you are kids or his son. He is ruthless," Wayzz said. "And he's not holding back anymore."

Marinette looked from Adrien to Tikki, who was floating next to her. She looked back at the group as a whole. "Then neither are we."

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries  @toodaloo-kangaroo 

[jessicakehoe]

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? A lip sync fail, a puppy arrest, and another misogynistic Piers Morgan tweet. Here’s everything you need to know.

Rita Ora lip syncs her televised parade performance

THE STORY: British pop star Rita Ora sang her new song “Let You Love Me” at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC. Those watching the televised performance from their couch were quick to notice that her lips didn’t exactly line up with the lyrics.

THE REACTION:

Yikes Rita Ora caught lip synching at #MacysParade pic.twitter.com/nkd4w9VKRM

— Ryan Schocket (@RyanSchocket) November 22, 2018

I don't know who Rita Ora is but she is doing a TERRIBLE lip sync job right now

— Azuresquirrel (@MilesGEdgeworth) November 22, 2018

Rita Ora missing the first two words of her song and then just deciding to lip sync her song as she hears it in her head is peak Rita Ora. #MacysDayParade

— Justin Kirkland (@justinkirkland4) November 22, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: John Legend, who also performed in the parade, jumped to Ora’s defence on Twitter.

Fun fact @johnlegend thank you for clarifying what I was about to also tweet. It’s annoying for us but anyway! All my shows are 100 percent live always have been! When you come to a ORA show get ready! Back to holidays! Have a good one guys! :) X https://t.co/pO5hnnQgvg

— Rita Ora (@RitaOra) November 22, 2018

So we’re suppose to believe Ora is so good at singing live that she doesn’t even know how to lip sync? I’ll take it — it’s a better excuse than “acid reflux.” Sorry Ashley Simpson, we’ll never forget.

A puppy was seized by police for biting an officer

THE STORY: Bungle, a 16-week-old Chow-Chow puppy, bit an officer in Northamptonshire, England after escaping from his home and retreating under a vehicle. The pup was detained under the Dangerous Dogs Act, and faced being held for up to nine months in a secret kennel.

THE REACTION:

It was a four month old puppy who would have been terrified as it was out on its own in an unfamiliar situation. When trapped it did what most fearful puppies would do. Let the puppy go home and stop wasting valuable police time and taxpayers money.

— granrose (@dogdevotion) November 23, 2018

Could you imagine arresting a good boy like this? #FreeBungle https://t.co/lDemyYSVIs

— Norm Kelly (@norm) November 23, 2018

This pup is 4 months old – puppies nip, it's what they do and he was scared! DDA gone mad (or madder than usual) Free Bungle the Jailed Chow Pup #FreeBungle – Sign the Petition! https://t.co/zNAl3XtSBA via @UKChange

— Michele Spencer Lees (@morticia_adams) November 22, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: I’m no expert, but locking up a puppy in a kennel-like setting through its formative months seems like it would create an even more nervous, aggressive dog. The good news is, Bungle has now been released back into the care of his human family. The viral reaction to this new story has, however, launched an interesting conversation about the kinds of dogs that receive special public attention. If Bungle had been a pitbull, rather than a fluffy bear-like pooch, this story could have ended very differently. Speaking with the BBC, dog-welfare expert Sam Gaines said, “It is incredibly sad that Bungle has been seized, but there are lots of other dogs that sadly get seized on a regular basis and whose welfare is compromised.”

Piers Morgan goes after Little Mix… & Ariana Grande gets involved

THE STORY: Girl group Little Mix posed naked in a recent photo shoot, showing their bodies covered with insults they’d received. British TV host (and infamous Twitter troll) Piers Morgan criticized the image, saying they “stole the idea” from a 2003 Entertainment Weekly cover of country trio Dixie Chicks. In another tweet, he said that Little Mix member Jesy Nelson “looks ridiculous … she should put some clothes on.” Ariana Grande’s mother, Joan, jumped in with something to say.

Honestly what is wrong with you @piersmorgan ? Didn’t your mother ever teach you, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it! You came for @TheEllenShow yesterday which was disgraceful, she is an angel. @LittleMix today, did you ever hear of paying homage? And..well never mind https://t.co/5WBOlL8t6O

— Joan Grande (@joangrande) November 21, 2018

Morgan replied: “Hi Joan, my mother taught me to speak my mind & never be afraid to express honestly held opinion. Ellen’s a hypocrite – and as for Little Mix, I’d just prefer they use their talent to sell records rather than their nudity. As your own daughter does…!”

THE REACTION:

Piers Morgan is a pathetic excuse for a human being, how is he allowed to continously insult and degrade little mix on tv like this. He started this and is now whining like the weak man he is bc jesy called him a twat. He asked for it, grow up bitch pic.twitter.com/zZQGc7dUY8

— ♚ (@hauntedjade) November 23, 2018

Piers Morgan (old enough to be their dad) coming for Little Mix (four young girls) CONSTANTLY. Carry on big man, you're just proving what Jesy Nelson said was right. You're a twat. Officially. As Ariana Grande said: thank u, next #LM5⁠

— Darren Haywood (@darren_haywood) November 21, 2018

Ellen is an incredible & kind human being.. I use my talent AND my sexuality all the time because i choose to. women can be sexual AND talented. naked and dignified. it’s OUR choice. 🖤 & we will keep fighting til people understand. i say this w all due respect but thank u, next. https://t.co/wSknRSlJN8

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) November 21, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Ugh, can we all just agree than this dude is the worst and stop giving him a platform to make outrageous statements? I hate giving him the attention he so desperately seeks. Ariana Grande claimed the final word: “also @piersmorgan, i look forward to the day you realize there are other ways to go about making yourself relevant than to criticize young, beautiful, successful women for everything they do. i think that’ll be a beautiful thing for you and your career or what’s left of it.” Thank u, next.

The post Everything That Upset the Internet This Week appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[lindyhunt]

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? A lip sync fail, a puppy arrest, and another misogynistic Piers Morgan tweet. Here’s everything you need to know.

Rita Ora lip syncs her televised parade performance

THE STORY: British pop star Rita Ora sang her new song “Let You Love Me” at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC. Those watching the televised performance from their couch were quick to notice that her lips didn’t exactly line up with the lyrics.

THE REACTION:

Yikes Rita Ora caught lip synching at #MacysParade pic.twitter.com/nkd4w9VKRM

— Ryan Schocket (@RyanSchocket) November 22, 2018

I don't know who Rita Ora is but she is doing a TERRIBLE lip sync job right now

— Azuresquirrel (@MilesGEdgeworth) November 22, 2018

Rita Ora missing the first two words of her song and then just deciding to lip sync her song as she hears it in her head is peak Rita Ora. #MacysDayParade

— Justin Kirkland (@justinkirkland4) November 22, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: John Legend, who also performed in the parade, jumped to Ora’s defence on Twitter.

Fun fact @johnlegend thank you for clarifying what I was about to also tweet. It’s annoying for us but anyway! All my shows are 100 percent live always have been! When you come to a ORA show get ready! Back to holidays! Have a good one guys! :) X https://t.co/pO5hnnQgvg

— Rita Ora (@RitaOra) November 22, 2018

So we’re suppose to believe Ora is so good at singing live that she doesn’t even know how to lip sync? I’ll take it — it’s a better excuse than “acid reflux.” Sorry Ashley Simpson, we’ll never forget.

A puppy was seized by police for biting an officer

THE STORY: Bungle, a 16-week-old Chow-Chow puppy, bit an officer in Northamptonshire, England after escaping from his home and retreating under a vehicle. The pup was detained under the Dangerous Dogs Act, and faced being held for up to nine months in a secret kennel.

THE REACTION:

It was a four month old puppy who would have been terrified as it was out on its own in an unfamiliar situation. When trapped it did what most fearful puppies would do. Let the puppy go home and stop wasting valuable police time and taxpayers money.

— granrose (@dogdevotion) November 23, 2018

Could you imagine arresting a good boy like this? #FreeBungle https://t.co/lDemyYSVIs

— Norm Kelly (@norm) November 23, 2018

This pup is 4 months old – puppies nip, it's what they do and he was scared! DDA gone mad (or madder than usual) Free Bungle the Jailed Chow Pup #FreeBungle – Sign the Petition! https://t.co/zNAl3XtSBA via @UKChange

— Michele Spencer Lees (@morticia_adams) November 22, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: I’m no expert, but locking up a puppy in a kennel-like setting through its formative months seems like it would create an even more nervous, aggressive dog. The good news is, Bungle has now been released back into the care of his human family. The viral reaction to this new story has, however, launched an interesting conversation about the kinds of dogs that receive special public attention. If Bungle had been a pitbull, rather than a fluffy bear-like pooch, this story could have ended very differently. Speaking with the BBC, dog-welfare expert Sam Gaines said, “It is incredibly sad that Bungle has been seized, but there are lots of other dogs that sadly get seized on a regular basis and whose welfare is compromised.”

Piers Morgan goes after Little Mix… & Ariana Grande gets involved

THE STORY: Girl group Little Mix posed naked in a recent photo shoot, showing their bodies covered with insults they’d received. British TV host (and infamous Twitter troll) Piers Morgan criticized the image, saying they “stole the idea” from a 2003 Entertainment Weekly cover of country trio Dixie Chicks. In another tweet, he said that Little Mix member Jesy Nelson “looks ridiculous … she should put some clothes on.” Ariana Grande’s mother, Joan, jumped in with something to say.

Honestly what is wrong with you @piersmorgan ? Didn’t your mother ever teach you, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it! You came for @TheEllenShow yesterday which was disgraceful, she is an angel. @LittleMix today, did you ever hear of paying homage? And..well never mind https://t.co/5WBOlL8t6O

— Joan Grande (@joangrande) November 21, 2018

Morgan replied: “Hi Joan, my mother taught me to speak my mind & never be afraid to express honestly held opinion. Ellen’s a hypocrite – and as for Little Mix, I’d just prefer they use their talent to sell records rather than their nudity. As your own daughter does…!”

THE REACTION:

Piers Morgan is a pathetic excuse for a human being, how is he allowed to continously insult and degrade little mix on tv like this. He started this and is now whining like the weak man he is bc jesy called him a twat. He asked for it, grow up bitch pic.twitter.com/zZQGc7dUY8

— ♚ (@hauntedjade) November 23, 2018

Piers Morgan (old enough to be their dad) coming for Little Mix (four young girls) CONSTANTLY. Carry on big man, you're just proving what Jesy Nelson said was right. You're a twat. Officially. As Ariana Grande said: thank u, next #LM5⁠

— Darren Haywood (@darren_haywood) November 21, 2018

Ellen is an incredible & kind human being.. I use my talent AND my sexuality all the time because i choose to. women can be sexual AND talented. naked and dignified. it’s OUR choice. 🖤 & we will keep fighting til people understand. i say this w all due respect but thank u, next. https://t.co/wSknRSlJN8

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) November 21, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Ugh, can we all just agree than this dude is the worst and stop giving him a platform to make outrageous statements? I hate giving him the attention he so desperately seeks. Ariana Grande claimed the final word: “also @piersmorgan, i look forward to the day you realize there are other ways to go about making yourself relevant than to criticize young, beautiful, successful women for everything they do. i think that’ll be a beautiful thing for you and your career or what’s left of it.” Thank u, next.

[istherehopeforthemad]

I can’t quite explain my feelings so I write

I have felt this way for as long as I can remember, but at first it just started as some sort of eating disorder where I thought I was the fattest person in the whole planet, I felt even bigger than the planet, but it has become much more complex. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I already know that I have severe depression and anxiety, but I don’t want to. I am not trying to be sad, I am trying. I really am. I spend money to try to make myself happy and change my hair and put makeup on all of the time and it just DOESNT SEEM TO WORK. I don’t seem to feel at all. I tried reading a book about a girl who had, and may still have depression, and it only “triggered” me further (I hate how mainstream that word has become). I dont think I can ever feel again. I am at that point where I question myself about being happy. Like when I am with my friends and I am having a good time and laughing, I think “Is this what happiness looks like for me? No feeling but emotion being shown? No real, true laughter exploding from within me? I dont understand. Maybe I never will. I have tried therapy and pills (prescribed to me), and they dont seem to help. I have tried to boost my confidence and I just can’t. I don’t understand. I WANT TO BE HAPPY SO BAD I COULD SELL MY SOUL (not really devil please dont read this and think I will because I wont. My soul is the only thing making me have hope okay). I used to really enjoy making myself get all dolled up just to look in the mirror and say “DAYYYYUM YOURE A BAD BITCH”, but I don’t get that anymore, at least not recently. I used to dream about having my own car and having the windows rolled down and jamming to some bops, but now, I have my own car, and I keep the windows rolled down to allow the smoke from my vape to exit the car so my parents wont yell at me for foggy windows. And now, music just sounds like noise. Sure, I will find a fricken jammin song every now and then and play it on repeat for about an hour, but after that hour, it goes into the library with the rest of my songs and is only played on shuffle or when I am sick of listening to music and feel the need to play anything. I know this is long and wow here I go. I ALWAYS say sorry or feel bad for what I say or do, even if its not a bad thing. I can’t seem to help it. Currently, I feel sick to my stomach (I change topics hella fast so be ready) and it’s because I am so fuckin hungry, but I am telling myself that I am not and that I cant be because its late as fuk and, I CANT GAIN WEIGHT HELL TO THE NO CHEERIOS. I hate it. I hate caring what people think or say. I hate caring about shit that doesnt matter. I hate that I say the word hate when I hate nothing. I love everyone and everything in the world, even myself (this is not a self hate post to clarify, even if it sounds like it is, idk maybe it is, idk anymore), but I dont like the way people are treated and ugh. I just hate how depression is a “thing” and people think that if they snap their fingers all of the pain and sadness and anger and numbness and anxiety and hurt will go away. It doesnt, at least not for me.. On the bright side, I love movies. They make my soul and heart SO HAPPY. If I could sit in a theater forever I would. Maybe I should become a movie critic. 

New dream job: Become a movie critic and eat free pizza and mac n cheese plzzz (Kraft only). 

I don’t even know what I want to do for my future. I always felt that I was destined for something big, but I believe that is my 6 year old, want to be princess and singer, self talking. I’ve always wanted to become anything and everything. EVEN AN EXPLORER WOAH. I literally never go outside... except for when I do and I kind of sort of enjoy it

I wish I had hobbies, or even A hobby. I have none. Maybe writing can become a new one. Even if nobody ever reads this, I can make this something that I share with me, myself, and I to keep forever (or until tumblr shuts down in the year 2300 because it was abused by generation Z) jk) maybe).

I totally just looked up millenials to see if it was the right word to use in that sentence and it wasnt so I changed it. Thats the other thing. I feel like I have to prove that I am smart because I feel like I am not. At least not in schoolish types of things. My mind races a million miles a minute so I change topics easily. Just let it happen. Please.

I always wish and hope and comment that I would like to be rich so that I can help others and be a good person. Which, yes, I can be a good person and help others without money, but I feel that my stress would go away and I would be happy. Although, I know many people would disagree, I dont care. That sounded mean and confident wow. Not at all how I wanted it to come off. It felt kinda good though. 

I have a friend named G. I feel like she doesnt understand me. I get lonely when im alone, and irritated to be with people when I am not alone. She is normal. She has no depression. NOT ONE DROP OF DEPRESSION RAIN FALLING ONTO HER. I wonder what that is like.

I could type forever.

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you died?

WOOOOOW that turned dark VERY quickly. I am not going to kill myself, so all of my zero readers, dont fret. I am only wondering. 

If anyone does read this, please know that although I am a sad soul, I am caring and kind and would be intruiged to read any comments or messages to brighten my day, or visa versa. I want to make others happy and motivated, even if I cannot do that for myself. Maybe it will make me happy to help others without paying for a meal that they cant afford and being that awkward stranger that offers to pay because I have a job and can and I dont know their lives at home. 

I miss J. This guy i think that I like?? I am unsure. Again, no emotions to shine in on this predicament. HMMMM

SOMEONE READ THIS AND LET ME HELP YOU BE HAPPY SO I CAN LIVE THROUGH YOU>

Unless you dont wanna read this... thats cool too!!!!

Anyways... i am gonna reblog some things so my blog isnt naked like a newborn shooting outta their moms wonder hole. 

EW IM GROSS 

Please please be safe and happy my zero readers. I hope everyone gets food and water and stays sane. You are wonderful

goodnight 

[kgysj-blog]

day 3 - 4/27/17

dear depression, hiya again!! ill just get right into it for the day since im a little late doin my daily post haha okay so i had a cute outfit sat out for school today & i got up at 7:05 & the tardy bell rings at 7:30 so i just threw on the cute outfit & straightened my hair really really fast & i had no time to do my make up so i went to school without that shiz. during first period (english) we watched wuthering heights again & it was super good. idk i just have some weird thing for doomed love stories it's weird idek.. lol. then i went to second period (math) and we got our tests back & i made a frickin 99 bc i forgot to change the sign on one of the problems & it made me hellllllaaaaa mad ugh but its gucci. we went over some more problems but ford made them harder and challenging for the people that don't pay attention i guess bc they weren't hard for me or connor lmao. i was in a great ass mood and i got to break and i was walkin in and chezly was walkin out and this nigga picked me up and took my to a chair & sat me down then patted my head and I ab died hahahahah i love that dude. then i ate two pieces of pizza at break bc it's good as shit. then i went to third period (anatomy) and did this learnsmart thing & i was actually really surprised bc i knew a few of the answers without having to go back and read on it so that was good. i finished w half an hour to just chill so i played the beer pong game on my phone (which im good as frick at might i add). then i went to fourth (economics) and we had an open book test which im pretty sure i most likely failed l o l but it's fine im fine. after that ky was crackin me up the entire time idek why i was laughing like a dumbass the whole time hahahaha but brett kept telling me shit wasn't really funny & all that & he's usually not like that and it really annoyed me tbh. like i can laugh at whatever tf i want, take ya bitter ass and go on somewhere bih. everyone was just in a really good mood i loved it (other than Brett, lol) then i went and sat in bakers w the rest of my buddies and it was like every single thing was funny and i felt happy it was weird idek i was just happy and relaxed & laid back. Andy looked over to me & he was "seriously everyone is in a good mood today" and it made me happy bc i love it when my friends are happy. so anyway, i went to career tech & i made up this test from like 2 weeks ago & i made a 100 on that bit and it put me in a good ass mood. then we had this practice sheet & i was answering correctly left and right & it was just good. then i was walking to the bus & i looked at Ry & i was like "im just really happy right now like im in such a good mood and i have been all day" and she said it makes her happy to see other people happy & that made me happy/sad bc i don't think she is.. i don't like when other people have problems bc i have a ton & it really does suck. well when i got to the bus i had a text from my bud that im not supposed to be talking to. it was just a game request thing but... why are we still talking? i am supposed to be on like my fourth or fifth day without him.. i think he's scared of what ill do if we cut off contact completely idk. he's the one that came up with the idea but now he's the one texting me. i mean im not complaining bc i dont know how id feel or be doing if he wasn't talking to me but ya know im just really confused. we played a few games & he stopped replying which i understand but, like i said, im just v confused. i slept when i got home from like 5-8. it was nice bc no practice. but i actually have some feelings to talk ab now lmao here we go. i think i have an over thinking issue. i mean i know a lot of girls do but for some reason i feel like mine is super bad. i psycho analyze EVERYTHING. its honestly ridiculous. also, i heard this song on the country radio & it reminded me of summer & Peyt and it made me sad so i turned it off bc no sadness :) i just wish i didnt have problems and we could work one day :/ last week its like i had come to the conclusion that he was ready to be done which meant i had to be obviously & i was hella fucking depressed and cried every single day but it wasn't all bc of him. i just have those kinds of problems & for some reason i couldn't control myself last week it was strange. last week it's like i had come to terms w being done w him & then he texts me on friday and tells me we need to talk in person and clarify some things & all that. well i thought what he said ab us needing to distance ourselves meant we were done so i was confused on what else there was to say...? but anyway i was kinda looking forward to closure and all that in person. like finally getting to hear his thoughts face to face so he could get it all out and us be done and learn to move on. well he never texted me back about it and then at like 1 am Sunday morning he tells me we don't have to talk anymore? idk THE WHOLE THING IS A MESS. we talked and said we needed to not talk until i had bettered myself bc my cutting and all that scares the shit out of him (and all my friends) and that he feels he is part of the reason. it made me sick when i read that. i don't want him ever upset or scared or anything when he thinks of me... i felt really bad. but i was like okay ya know we are gonna have to learn to not have each other soon anyway so i guess starting now would be helpful. and i was completely on board. and now we've talked every single day. and its so confusing idek. I just know i still love him and for some mf reason i can't change it and its embarrassing bc i feel like we will never be the same or even be together again. idek i just needed to get it all out :) i have sectionals tomorrow and i am really freaking nervous like REALLY NERVOUS but i need to chill out and focus so i can get top 3. i guess that's all for tonight.. goodnight :) love, g