Thinking about the S2 finale from Aziraphale's isolated/distorted perspective truly makes me want to fly into the sun.
Like he's spent his whole time on earth getting proof after proof that Crowley wants to do good, to help people. Despite Crowley's protestations Az KNOWS that he's (from Az's perspective) an angel on the inside.
He's been in love with Crowley and known it since at least 1941 but spent until the apocalypse-that-wasn't repressing the shit out of his feelings for fear of having his everything wrecked by heaven.
After their bodyswap stunt he just barely starts to believe he's safe enough now to act on his feelings and spends four years working up to it, getting better at causally touching Crowley, spending more time together than they ever have before, but terrified the whole time not of reprisal from heaven but of the idea that maybe Crowley doesn't like him back in the same way. He gets way too invested in getting Nina and Maggie together because really it's just an excuse to create further circumstances for him to be close to Crowley and figure out whether he also has romantic feelings for him.
Then the whole thing with Gabriel/Beez happens and he's given-- as far as he knows-- concrete proof that consorting with a demon gets you cast out of heaven. But he's worked up to it anyway and (a bit of conjecture here) I think he was planning to tell Crowley he loves him but then got interrupted by Metatron.
But hey, there you go, even better, he doesn't have to risk anything!! He can make Crowley an angel again -- he clearly WANTS to do good but he's just had to repress those feelings (and Az knows all about how it feels to repress feelings) because his side wouldn't approve. And they can be together AND be safe AND fix heaven!!!
But what's this? Crowley doesn't want that? He's rejecting Aziraphale, rejecting doing good, rejecting saving the earth just like he did the last time things got too hard, at the bandstand. He just wants to run away again because clearly none of this matters to him as much as Aziraphale thought it did.
And then he's kissing him-- the thing he's wanted SO BADLY for SO LONG, the thing he was hoping his ball dance would bring them too-- but it's not because he actually loves him romantically the way that Az does, no, he's just tempting him again, using his demonic ways to try to get Az to give up on everything and run away, just give up and let it all become a puddle of burning goo because he's too afraid to fight, and to express the desire to good that Az knows he has inside him.
And then... Then Aziraphale forgives him anyway. He forgives him because he still loves him, even after all of this, even if Crowley doesn't love him back and has used something so vulnerable against him for his own gain. He forgives him, and Crowley says "don't bother" and he leaves.
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I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that
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⊹ ࣪ ˖🍩₊˚⊹♡ so what do you recommend? nishimura riki x gn! reader
250ish words- riki being a loser- engene reader working at a donut shop - masterlist
you stood at the counter waiting for your name to either be called to the back or for someone to come in. the chain you work at was supposed to be closed today but your manager asked if you could come in for this specific store as you guys decided to be open
to be honest you didn’t mind, you liked your job and it’d keep you distracted from the fact you couldn’t make it to a concert you desperately wanted to go to. you had the money to attend just not the means to get there, who seriously has a concert mid week? and in a place where they already go to every tour? it wasn’t that far but just the hassle of getting there and work. ugh it was just a mess. you really wanted to go too… you loved k-pop and concerts. especially hybe groups and especially enhypen.
unfortunately the cards just aren’t in your favor this leg of the tour.
you sighed as you watched out the window as people walked by the store, wondering who was going to walk in and ask for a donut. you looked down for a split second picking at the bandaids that covered your fingers from earlier in the day.
when the little ding came up you perked up. smiling at the two boys who walked in.
“hi welcome in! how can i help you?” you leaned against the donut case in front of you. the two boys looked at you and then at eachother. you took a quick note of the apparel
one was shorter than the other, denim vest, chain, a backwards hat that looked oddly familiar. when you took note of the taller one your heart stopped for a moment.
there was no way this was happening to you at work…
the taller one wore the absolute ugliest jacket and jean combo you have ever seen in your life, and he wore the ugliest baseball cap to accompany it. the unfortunate part was, you’d recognize that ugly outfit combo anywhere.
“um hi sorry about that- can i get-“
AUSTRALIAN 🫵
okay y/n play it cool.
the taller one who you assumed you knew to be none other than nishimura riki, hit the shorter one and stood closer to you.
“i’m sorry he’s dumb-“ the taller one spoke, “we have never been here before actually-“
“I LITERALLY HAV-“
the taller one waved him off and kept his attention on you. the closer he got to the case display, the more you could see the little mole under his eye.
“ignore him.” he said quickly, you couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you. he leaned against the counter next to the case display and looked at you.
“so what do you recommend..?”
was he trying to hit on you?
you put your hand under your chin and looked at him, throughly enjoying this and thanking the universe if this was real and not just delusion, “definitely anything with crème but you cannot go wrong with a strawberry donut.” you smiled at him. you heard riki giggle under his mask and his friend(who you guessed was jake) groaned, probably embarrassed.
“i love strawberries actually. i’ll get both though.” he said and you started to bag them up, you looked up at his friend.
“anything for you?”
jake walked closer to the counter and apologized quietly, “can we just get two dozen of the signature donuts too..?”
you nodded and grabbed the ready to go boxes behind you.
“actually can i pick the-“ riki spoke big jake interrupted him.
“MAN STOP MAKING THE WORKERS JOB HARDER JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK THEYRE CUTE!” he shoved him and got shoved back. you started to giggle again and gave them their total.
jake paying and trying to apologize for his friend’s behavior.
they quickly grabbed their donuts and headed out, riki wishing you a good day before running into the door and getting laughed at by jake.
you felt yourself look down smiling.
part of you felt like you were being delusional until you saw a little piece of paper near your sticky notes that you used to remember restock…
‘be back tomorrow by MYSELF- hope ur working-
my name is riki :)’
your jaw dropped slightly before you pocketed the note and was called back by your manager to help in the back. you quickly scurried to the back of the house and tried to hide your smile.
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i love the idea of the innocent reader but with the john b and jj!! like theyre both soo touchy with her and so very sweet to her💔 she just thinks theyre just being friendly but they DEFINITELY wanna fuck her🤷♀️
-☀️
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
ugh they’re such boys i love it <33 just keeping their hands on you at all times in a way you deem as innocent but really they’re just that desperate to touch you they can’t help it !! so comfortable with them you even ask one of them to tie up the back of your bikini for you sweetly looking over your shoulder holding the cups to your chest.
“thank you jj, you guys look after me so good.”
“yeah, yeah look after you real nice, huh?” you don’t really notice jj lightly backing you up so your ass is brushing over his crotch whilst he ties your bikini up for you.
“jayj.” john b laughs knowingly, shaking his head which you take no notice of.
“you guys are just such good friends to me.” you shrug sweetly and john b steps up into your space with the most innocent, trusting smile.
“thats sweet. y’wanna gimme a hug?” he holds his arms out and you happily oblige as jj finishes tying the knot at your back. you bring your arms around john b’s neck, feeling your tits press up against his chest through his open printed shirt, and he sends jj a little grin over your head, tongue between his teeth.
“what ‘bout me, huh? bring it in sugar.” jj wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you from the back, your ass forced against him, just sandwiched between your pervy best friends :(
they even talk about you pretty vulgar to other people when a super close friend mentions how sweet on you they are ! “oh yeah no we definitely wanna fuck ‘er.” jj deadpans, bringing his can to his lips.
“just a little.” john b crinkles his nose with a smile.
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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