#ugh thinking i rly should ghost him

[persimmonlions]

starting to think i should ghost this one friend

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.

Wordcount: 2.9k

Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm

Masterlist link here 

AO3 link here 

Author’s Note: And we’re at the final chapter! Thank you so much for going on this wild ride with me, and I’m rly excited to hear what you guys think - so please, drop me an ask, a note, a comment, anything!!! 

It takes time and effort to rebuild a home wrecked by a storm, and reconstruction efforts aren’t necessarily smooth sailing, especially at the start - after all, he’s still the same Miya Atsumu, arrogant and brash and foulmouthed and hyper focused on volleyball, and they both have baggage from years of regret and pain to work through. But he has determination to spare, and she loves him too much for her own good, so they start from the very foundation and work their way up, step by step, one day at a time. 

‘I’ll kill ya if ya ever hurt her again’, Osamu threatens darkly when she and Atsumu break the news to him. 

‘Go find yer own girl and stop being sweet on my wife damn it! ’ Atsumu growls, but the kiss he presses to her forehead when she smacks the back of his head for being mean to his twin is achingly sweet. 

‘Ugh, soppy. Get yer shit outta my house!’ Osamu scrunches his face in mock disgust. 

Both brothers are surprised when she beats Atsumu at flipping Osamu off. 

Atsumu moves back home (he’s not even going to hide how happy the sound of that makes him), and they mark the occasion by slipping his wedding ring back on his finger and eating take-out pizza on the living room floor. 

Her burly brothers turn up on their doorstep with a glint in their eyes and too much teeth in their smiles, determined to drag Atsumu off for a couple of drinks and what she assumes will be a very unpleasant chat. She’d insisted on patting them down to make sure they’re not packing any knives - ‘what do you take us for, little sis’, they’d protested - but she’s not taking any chances, and begs Osamu to join them, ‘please ‘Samu, I don’t want to be a widow right after I decide not to divorce his ass’, and he agrees despite grumbling that he might as well be Atsumu’s glorified babysitter at this rate. 

She’d woken up in bed the next morning to find the space beside her empty, but the living room crammed full of those four silly men. Atsumu and Osamu share a single futon between them, snoring back to back. There are faint bruises on Atsumu’s cheekbone and telltale scrapes on her own brothers’ knuckles, but otherwise they all seem relatively unscathed. 

She bends over, tracing her thumb along the contour of Atsumu’s jaw, and he stirs, eyes half lidded with sleep. 

‘Hey darlin', I’ve come home’, he tells her, warmth flickering in his smile. 

‘Welcome home, 'Tsumu’, she says, tucking the blanket under his chin and he hums in contentment, falling back asleep. 

His nightmares of brown envelopes and harsh neon lights distorting her face slowly fade, and he dreams instead of weeknight dinners and weekend picnics at the park, relishing the quiet domesticity of grocery trips and laundry loads, and delighting in home games with her and Shino cheering him on.

Some piss poor excuse of a gossip hound corners him after a match to ask him about whether he regrets leaving for Milan since his season ended in injury - and he freezes when the reporter slyly adds ‘especially since we all knew it’s a move that required you to leave your wife and daughter behind ‘. His manager is about to intervene when she sneaks up on him to slide an arm around his waist, apologising to the reporter that ‘she’s just so excited to give her husband a congratulatory kiss!’ . 

Sakusa and Meian have to join forces to pull Atsumu back from punching the reporter when he grins shark-like, thinking he’s spotted easy prey and asks her whether she felt abandoned in Japan due to his move - ‘pardon me Miya-san for my unwieldy choice of words’. 

‘Not at all’, she says without missing a beat, and Atsumu wonders if he imagines the flash of a knife in her smile. ‘I’ve always supported my husband in all his endeavours. It was a joint decision that I should stay in Japan to ensure our daughter has some stability in her life.'

‘She’s good’, his manager tells him when the reporter slinks away with his tail between his legs. 

‘Yeah - I don’t deserve her’, he answers with a rueful smile. 

When he tries to thank her that night, she levels him with a look that could knock a grown man (i.e. him) off his feet, but her voice is gentle and her words are soft. 

‘Don’t thank me’, she says. ‘Just be a better husband and father, ok?’ 

He’s not ashamed to admit that he actually cries. 

He learns to tell her he loves her at least once a day. She starts to smile back cheekily and reply ‘of course’. 

The game is in between sets when the skin at the back of his neck crackles with nerves. From the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of Osamu sprinting right into the stands. Then his ears pick up on his little girl’s scream - ‘mama’  she cries, her shrill voice ringing above the confusion rippling through the crowd and his legs move of their own accord, leaping over the barrier into the audience, as he snarls and shoves his way to her usual spot. 

He thought he’s had his fill of nightmares to last him a lifetime. He’s evidently wrong. 

She lies crumpled on the ground, head resting on Osamu’s lap. Her lips are pale and her eyes are closed but thank god - thank whichever deity’s listening - her chest still moves with her breath. He’s not quite sure what happens next - he knows he dives to his knees and pulls her towards him but everything else is a blur until her eyes flutter open and she groans. 

‘Darlin’, can ya hear me? Can ya tell me where you are?’ he asks, forcing his voice to remain calm. 

‘Tsumu? Why are you here? Aren’t you in the middle of a game?’ she murmurs, confused. 

‘Fuck the game’, he snaps. ‘Are ya feelin' ok?’ 

‘Something hurts, Tsumu’, she rasps, eyes glazing over. He can feel the chill of ice seep into his spine. 

'Yer fine, yer fine, yer going to be fine' he mutters, over and over and over again, willing her to sit up and tell him she's fine, she's ok, she'll just shake it off - but light starts to shutter out of her eyes and frost creeps up his throat. 

‘I need a medic!’ he shouts, voice cracking on every word. ‘I need a medic, now!’

‘Tsumu’, he hears his brother interrupt urgently. ‘Tsumu, she’s bleedin’. 

He’s never been more grateful for Osamu when his twin turns to yell for an ambulance and yanks Shino away with him. The little girl is kicking and screaming for her mama but he knows she would kill him if he lets their little girl be traumatised from seeing her mama lying in a pool of blood on the floor. 

He can’t breathe - not even when the medics finally come and whisk her off to the hospital, his mind hardly able to process anything, terror still coursing through his veins when the doctors press brown envelopes full of forms into his bloodstained hands for him to sign so the relevant procedures can be carried out. 

‘Don’t!’ Osamu says sharply, when he drops his head into his hands and starts to whimper about how he’ll die if he loses her again and what the fuck is he gonna do, ‘Samu, if she doesn’t make it out alive – ‘she’s stronger than ya think, don’t ya dare give up on her like that’, and he promptly shuts up after that. Time in the waiting room passes agonizingly slow, seconds feeling like minutes, minutes stretching into hours, and he would have drowned from the weight of his despair if he weren’t anchored in place by his twin’s hand on his back.

His breath rushes back into his lungs when the doctors later tell him she’s fine,  they carried out the standard operation - but she doesn’t look fine, doesn’t seem fine, is very clearly not fine when they wheel her out, huddled into a ball with her head between her knees, like her world has just collapsed into itself. She doesn’t even look up when he sits beside her, the bed dipping under his weight. 

‘I’m sorry’, she eventually says, voice barely a whisper, and he fights the urge to break down into tears – because ‘Samu’s right, she’s so much stronger than he thinks. They'd been talking about trying for a sibling for Shino for some time now, since they've both grown up with brothers of their own and can't imagine life without them. But the doctors tell him that it’s just bad luck - the baby was never going to survive, and her collapse was probably exacerbated by stress, overwork, perhaps even fatigue from her skipping lunch for work and dinner to rush to his match.

‘Don’t be. It’s not yer fault at all’, he manages to pull himself together to reassure her, but she just stares blankly at the wall. 

His grandmother calls when they find out the baby they lost would have been a boy, and he fails her again when he’s too late to snatch the phone away before the old lady’s poison drips into her ears and traps her in a deadly fog. He’d cursed the old bitch out relentlessly, but the toxic words fester beneath her skin and she fades into a ghost before his eyes. He desperately tries to stop her spiral into frozen silence, but he’s away for games more than half the time, hands tied behind his back by the stranglehold of contracts and commitments he has no choice but to fulfil. 

He’s never been so thankful before when the season finally ends - but he is, at least this time, so he can talk her into taking two weeks off from work. They drop Shino off with her indulgent grandparents, and drift down the coast on the back of her bike. She doesn’t try breaking any speed limits - and he knows he should be happy about that, but there’s no spark in her eyes, no smile to answer the wind - there hasn’t been, not since she collapsed. 

(not since they lost their child)

He buys her mochi at every town, but she picks at it listlessly, just like she does these days when Osamu tries to tempt her with his latest creations. He insists they stay at  ryokans, traditional inns with onsens attached, hoping the heat from the water might chase the chill from her bones, but colour does not return to her cheeks. There are shadows beneath her eyes, and she seems to wilt under the vibrant red and gold of autumn leaves. 

They go for a walk after dinner one night, tracing a path along the shore. He’d been talking non-stop the entire trip to mask the gaps left by her silence, but tonight he falls quiet, allowing the hum of the waves to wash over them. Her hand is cold in his, so he wraps his jacket around her shoulders and hopes the warmth from his body bleeds into hers. 

She comes to a standstill, feet sinking in the sand, and tilts her head to face him. 

‘Tsumu?’, she breathes, a question in her eyes. 

‘I’m here’, he says, a prayer in his heart. 

There is a lighthouse on the cliff just a few miles ahead, illuminating the shadows of the waves. The faintest reflection of light pools in her eyes, and he stills as she lifts her gaze to meet his. 

‘I know’, she says, offering him the smallest of smiles. 

He interlaces their fingers together firmly, and tugs her towards shelter, as a storm brews over the horizon. 

That night she tucks her head under his chin, and he holds her until she falls asleep, cradled in his arms. He keeps slumber at bay by counting her breaths, and only falls asleep himself when the storm breaks. 

'Why did I wake up to a blonde octopus wrapped around me', she mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. 

'Nah. More like a seahorse, cos I'm not letting ya go, sweetheart', he replies, tightening his grip on her waist. 'Ya got a problem with that?' 

Her only response is to burrow herself deeper into his chest.

'Guess not', he chuckles fondly, nuzzling his nose into her hair, hope blossoming anew in his heart. 

Time turns their wounds into scars and they heal together, one breath at a time. 

She stays away from their first few matches when the season begins again. The press is coerced into passing over reports of her collapse by the dual forces of the MSBY press machine and their legal team, but they are forced to ride out the gossip generated in internet forums by a fringe group of deranged fans. His teammates treat her like she’s made of glass - even Bokuto dials himself down a notch, all save for Shoyo, who slips her his mother’s number, telling her gently that the six year gap between him and Natsu wasn’t deliberate, and that she would find a sympathetic ear in the older woman. 

He knew he was right to anoint Shoyo as his favourite wing spiker - not only does he fly high enough to answer the demand of every single one of his sets, but his sunniness drags her out of the fog into yoga classes and meditation practices, and slowly but surely he watches her bloom again. It’s a powerful combination - Shoyo-kun’s friendship and his mother’s gentle conversations, Osamu’s cooking and her love for Shino, capped with his determination to show her he loves her and prove that he’s here to stay.

‘It’s like Kintsugi’, she tells him, with a wide smile. ‘All of you poured gold into the cracks of my heart and made me whole again’. 

The years pass. 

Shino turns seven – a very respectable age for his very best girl, he tells her (I'm your only girl, Papa, Shino informs him archly), and obliges her demands of a bicycle in MSBY colours and volleyball lessons, forcing all his teammates to turn up for her birthday party, volleyball themed of course. The look of unadulterated joy on his princess’ face is worth every ounce of effort to put up with Sakusa’s complaints at having to turn up for a kiddie party full of loud noises and far too much candy, and the sweaty afternoons spent hand painting the bicycle black and gold. 

The day Atsumu discovers his first white hair makes her thank her lucky stars that she’s immune to his nonsense by now, because the wailing and gnashing of teeth she has to put up with makes ‘Samu offer her his couch as refuge. She slaps tape and salonpas on his aches and pains, and points to the deepening lines on her face when he complains about his age. 

‘Those lines aren’t wrinkles. If they’re caused by laughter, it doesn’t count’, he reasons laughingly. She’s left befuddled by his logic and shakes her head.

Meian Shugo retires, and Hinata throws a party to celebrate in his honour, cramming the entire MSBY team and assorted friends into his penthouse apartment on a rainy Saturday night. Osamu’s hired to cater the food but remains as a guest, shooting a smirk at him when Shoyo drags her off to dance during his favourite song, twin flames burning bright in the night. 

‘A hundred yen for your thoughts?’ she asks, when Shoyo returns with her breathless but wreathed with smiles. 

‘Was just wondering when you were gonna save a dance for this old man’, he teases. 

‘Oh?’ she says with a laugh. ‘Thought you said your back hurt, and you didn’t want to move?’

‘Meh - I was hoping you’d forget that’, he says airily, then frowns when he notices there’s no drink in her hand. 

‘Not drinking tonight, sweetheart?’, he asks, curling his fingers around her empty hand. 

‘The doctor warned me not too’, she answers, her smile growing impossibly wider. He blinks in confusion when she leans on to her toes to whisper into his ear - then oh. 

‘You’re pregnant?’ he repeats, unable to trust his ears, eyes filling with tears when she bites her lips and nods. 

‘Are you happy, ‘Tsumu?’, she asks, her face alight with hope. 

There is so much he wants to say to her, starting with thank you loving me enough to give me another chance all those years ago and ending with I love you, so ridiculously much – because he can never say it enough, she’s given him more than he deserves – her heart, Shino, a happy home and now the promise of another child. 

But there's salt and water welling up in his throat, and it’s all he can do to choke out a shaky ‘of course’, before gathering her in his arms, warmth pooling in his eyes, love overflowing in his heart. 

They stay that way for most of the night, entwined in each other’s arms, so drunk on happiness and love and warmth that they don’t even notice the storm clearing and the moon rising in the clear night sky. 

[suspicious-whumping-egg]

for the writing asks!! 1, 4, 9, 13, 25, 26 💕

(also 9 is very important it's for science i promise)

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Slabo 27 px, size 11, ALWAYS, I care about it immensely, if a font doesn’t vibe then I don’t either.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Already answered! Word is “catharsis” and explanation is in the other post.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Nope! If there’s some supernatural force out there, who cares anyway, yknow. If it’s good then it should be cool that I’m doin the best I can to be decent, if it’s bad then it doesn’t deserve attention. And that includes ghosts. Idrc if they’re real or not but I don’t think they are.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

In terms of what I do write about—

Easy: Torture, intimate whumpers, vent art, knives, whipping

Hard: Intoxication, drowning, dialogue, characterization

Actually difficult: disability cause I think it’s so important but a lot of it is so close to home especially with alec and his chronic pain and rly a lot of the reason I’ve made him a cane user is to try and help myself accept I’m gonna need one soon along with the fact we need more disabled characters when the focus isn’t on their disability

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Already answered!

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I lie in bed and think about their situation— how they’d feel and react and think. And then I visualize it in detail and let myself get immersed and then write it all down. I can get out by just shutting my laptop or getting up or just switching tabs on my phone, it isn’t a hard process to get in and out of my characters. I know them well, they can’t escape me. In terms of ever going there… Knox. He’s a creepy ass bastard and just uGh ew ugh yknow? His thought process is just as creepy as the rest of him.

[hologramband]

The Hollywood Ghost Club p1

(gif by me) 

Luke x Reader

Word Count: 3k

A/N: In this chapter I reference the song “Welcome to Wonderland,” By Anson Seabra, and yes it was partly a tiktok trend a few months ago but I really liked the idea of having it work here. Anyways give it a listen while you read for a fun time and let me know what you think! (I rly love feedback 🥺)

Link to the pre-Summary thing (x)

It was a busy day at the club, Caleb had more than the usual number of new additions to the club so you had to spend most of your day running around and getting the rooms ready. 

This is the most stressful part of the incoming process, but the one that you thought was the most important. 

Coming to terms with your death and realizing that you will be living in this hotel for the rest of your undead-life is hard to grasp, and it seems to be taken a little easier when the room is nice and cozy looking, with little welcome notes and words of encouragement from you saying they can reach out whenever they need. 

That was your goal, to make sure that they had someone, who had their best interest at heart, to be there when they felt low, or needed help. It’s what you thought you had in Caleb, only to find out just how wrong you were. 

Caleb wanted power, that’s the only reason he was so sweet to you when you got here. He saw the potential you had and wanted to get his hands on you so you wouldn’t use your powers against him. 

As soon as you found out what he was doing, you made a vow to not let him do it to anyone else, if they had powers like yours, you couldn’t let him get his hands on them. 

You had just just finished setting up the last room when you heard the familiar sound of wheels on carpet around the corner from where you were. 

“Willey, I told you not in the hotel! You’re gonna tear up the carpet!” you scolded as you rolled your eyes. 

Willey came into view and you could tell something had happened, his smile was unusually wide at the moment.

“You know the boy I was telling you about? The cute ghost I ran into the other day? He and his band want to talk to you, they want help understanding their ghost stuff, and I mentioned you, so uh.. I’m bringing them over this afternoon!” He rushed everything out in one breath and started jumping up and down in excitement. 

You smiled at his actions and shook your head,

“You seem to really like this boy, don’t you?” You eyed him and giggled as he started to blush. 

“I should be done with my incomings by 1:30 if you want to bring them then, and Caleb should be out until show time this evening so we should be good on that front. I’m excited to meet them.” You smile and look at the boy in front of you get worked up again. 

“Oh, (y/n) you’ll love them! They are so much fun, Reggie can be a little slow sometimes, but I can see you really getting along with Luke, he has some similar attitudes that you do, and then Alex, ugh what’s not to like about him?” Willey was falling into a daze and you placed your hand on his shoulder to bring him out of it. 

“It’s gonna be great, but I do have some newbys to welcome before you bring them here, so I gotta get going, see ya later!” You smile and walk away towards the entrance gate. 

--

Welcoming the new ghost was both rewarding and tiresome, you did what you could to make each person feel welcomed and at home, but some guests were harder than others. 

“Okay, (y/n), we’ve got one more, she should be here in 5 or so minutes. Here’s the profile you asked for!” One of the other ghosts, Kendra, said as she handed you a folder with some basic information on the new ghost. 

Kendra didn’t have powers like yours, but she wanted to help you in any way she could, it was her idea to start collecting data on the new ghosts for you to use to make this an easier process. 

You opened the file and your mouth dropped in shock, tears prickling behind your eyes. 

“Kendra,” You gasped out and she came back and looked at the file with you, “she’s, she is only 6 years old.” You shook your head to get your thoughts straight. 

“Okay, we’re going big for this one. Get some of the dancers for tonight down here in fancy dress, I have an idea.” You decided and she nodded. 

You don’t typically do anything more than hand a personalized welcome bag to the new ghosts or give them a small memento to help them feel like they were in a new home. 

You have never had someone as young as her, this child died at such a vulnerable age, what could Caleb want with such a young ghost? 

You were in the middle of rushing to set things up when you heard the voices of Willey and some other boys coming your way. Checking your watch you realized it was 1:30 and these were probably the boys that he wanted you to meet. 

“(Y/n)!” Willey called and his face fell when he saw your expression, then looking around and saw other ghosts rushing to clear the space. 

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” He continued and grabbed your arm to stop your movements. 

All you had to do was hand him the file and he understood. You turned your attention to the group on boys that came with Willey. 

“Hi guys, I promise I’ll have a more formal introduction in a bit, but right now I really need your help, you sing right?”

The group nodded and you stepped into action. With a snap of your fingers you had changed them all into suits that resembled something out of the “Alice in Wonderland” movie, as that was your goal. 

“Woah,” The blonde boy took a step back and looked up to Willey to see him poofing into a similar style outfit, “Look, not that I mind an outfit change, but what’s going on?” He asked. 

“My job here is to welcome new additions to the club we belong to, I play a somewhat vital part of making the transition from life to death a little easier for those struggling to accept it,” you took a breath as the next part still made you feel a variety of emotions, “We have a new ghost that is coming any minute now that dies last night, she was only 6 years old. I can’t even imagine what she is going through or what she is thinking so this is going to be the most magical and happy welcome I have ever put on.” 

The boys all had a sad look in their eyes, looking at each other and nodding, solidifying their decision to help you with this process. 

Willey handed you back the folder and squinted his eyes, noticing the dim color in your own. 

“(Y/n), how much magic have you used today?” He went to grab your face to look closer but you poofed away, knowing he wouldn’t like what he saw. 

“I’m fine, just follow my lead and, well, catch me when I finish.” You smirk and snap your fingers, causing the room to change from the open ballroom to the looks of an open field with trees and small flowers. 

Hearing a small knock on the door you smile big, 

“Here we go,” you clap your hands and the music starts, the melody of “Welcome to Wonderland” flowing from the band. 

The girl walked in and you smiled and sang the first few lines of the song, opening your arms wide and gesturing to the scene around you. 

“Welcome to Wonderland, we've got it all, Potions and pastries that make you grow tall” 

You snapped your fingers again and a tray of drinks and small snacks that the young girl liked appeared beside her, she grabbed one of each and looked back at you. 

You squatted beside her and motioned to the rest of the room,

“Forests and cottages, castles and cards that can talk” You sang again, allowing her to take in the many sights that the room held. 

“Welcome to Wonderland look where you're at, maddest of hatters, the Cheshire Cat, magical cabins and lovely white rabbits with clocks” As these words were sung you motioned some of the actors to skip out and do a small show of dancing and fun. 

You grabbed the small girls hands and spun her into a dance of your own. 

“Dancing through a dream, underneath the stars, laughing 'til the morning comes. Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart. Oh, Wonderland I love.” 

You take a step back and bow to the child while signing the next line, taking her  hand  directly after.

”Welcome to Wonderland, I'll be your guide. Holding your hand under sapphire skies” 

With another snap of your fingers you change the ceiling to appear a deep blue, with lots of small stars peeking through, pointing out a shooting star to the girl.

“Let's go exploring or we could just go for a walk, Welcome to Wonderland, where should we go?” 

You lead the girl down a path where you see Willey and the boys wait, instruments in hand, ready for their cue. 

“There's a tea party along down the road, make an appearance and maybe they'll sing us a song” You sang, then the boys launched into a slight solo that you all danced around to. 

“Dancing through a dream, underneath the stars, laughing 'til the morning comes”

While this part played out,  you put fireworks in the sky and had everyone come back out to dance with you. You kept snapping your fingers, using more and more of your limited magic to make this the most magical moment for the child. 

You look down and see her eyes gleaming back up at you, bringing a warmth to your chest. 

Knowing you had to wrap this up, you start snapping closer to the girl's head, making her sleepy, and filling her mind with warm and happy thoughts. 

“If this was a dream, then at least I've got memories for when morning comes.” 

You continue the snaps, feeling your magic fading with each one, leaning on a chair for support. You’ve learned in the past that your magic seems to be directly linked to your energy levels, so you knew you had a short amount of time left before you collapsed, so you gave this last part your all. 

 “Now that I must leave with a heavy heart, Oh, Wonderland I love.”

You smiled at the girl as she fell asleep in your arms. You quickly handed her off to Kendra to take her to her room, which you quickly poofed the snacks and other goodies to so she had them when she woke up. 

Knowing this place needed to be spotless before Caleb came back, you used the last of your power to clap and the room put itself back together. 

Directly after you felt your knees start to buckle and you gasped as you started to fall, but knew you wouldn’t hit the ground. 

Within an instant Willey had caught you and poofed you over to a couch where you could rest. 

“That was AMAZING!” the dark haired boy exclaimed, “I do have a question… were those bunny people real?” he moved in closer, “where did you send them?” he had his eyebrows scrunched and was looking at you very seriously. 

“Ah, you must be Reggie,” you laughed, then looked at the blonde boy, “and Alex, I've heard alot about you,” this caused both him and Willey to blush, “and I guess that makes you Luke.” you turned to the brunette, meeting his gaze. He smiled in return and then coughed to break eye contact.

“Ehm, yeah. So, you’ve got some serious power, what you did for that girl, that was truly amazing.” Luke looked around and back to you. “Are you okay though? You look, um…”

“Dim? Yeah, she doesn’t know how to limit herself,” Willey handed you a glass of water, “She has some limitations to how much she can use at once, and then when she succeeds, this happens.” 

You roll your eyes at Willey and take a sip of the water. 

“I’m fine, really, I’ll gain my energy back soon enough,” You brush off the worry and try to change the subject, “So, Willey was telling me you guys had questions?” 

The boys looked between each other and back at you. 

“Well, there's this one girl who can see us, and then when we play music with her everyone can see us perform. We are trying to figure out if there's a way that we can be seen even when we aren’t playing?” Luke stepped forward to ask. 

You tried to hide the shock on your face when Luke said they could be seen, if Caleb knew about this then he’d mark them, so you tried to steer away from that. 

“So there’s nothing I can think of right now, but I can definitely keep my ears open to see if anyone else has ideas. Who is this girl that can see you?” You responded after a bit. 

“Oh! Julie! She’s great, so is her dad, he’s really good at taking pictures and stuff, and her brother-” Reggie got cut off by Alex putting his hand over his mouth.

“Dude, she asked about Julie, not her family tree. Julie was cleaning out her mom’s studio when she found an old CD of ours, when she played it we kinda, just, fell into her life.” He explained. 

“Did you guys die recently?” Taking a once over at what they were wearing you knew they hadn’t, but wanted to give them a chance to explain. 

“We died in ‘95. Uh, an accident of sorts…” Luke scratched the back of his head. 

“We ate bad street dogs.” Reggie dead panned and Luke turned to him in annoyance. 

“DUDE! Not everyone needs to know.” He threw his hand to his forehead as you giggled, then launched into a cough fit. 

“Ah, little bird, why so weak?” Your eyes shot open and met a matching scared expression from Willey. 

You shot to your feet, mustering all the power you could into holding a strong stature. 

“Caleb! I thought you were out until the show tonight?” You questioned.

“Finished early,” he traced a finger under your chin so he could look in your eyes, “why so dull?” 

You gulped and planted a smile on your face.

“Just welcoming today's batch, it can really take it out of me,” you turned to Willey and motioned with your gaze to take the boys away, but sadly not quick enough. 

“Ahh, and who do we have here?” You close your eyes and try to think of something, Willey speaking first. 

“Just some ghosts I met, we were just going,” He tried pushing them away but before they could get out Caleb called them back. 

“Oh, don’t rush on my account! Please, stay for my show tonight, or if you have to go, at least come back for it?” He clapped his hands together and you felt a burn start on your wrist, and his gaze shifted to you. 

“(Y/n) is performing tonight, she’d just love it if you boys could join.” He smiled down at you and the burn intensified.

“Ah, um, yeah! You guys should definitely come back!” You faked a smile and looked back at Caleb. 

“Uh,” Luke started, smiling as he switched his gaze from Caleb to you, “We have a gig at 9, but I’m sure we could swing by for a bit, I’d love to see you again.” He looked at his band mates and they shrugged. 

You winced when he mentioned they were playing tonight, knowing Caleb would ask you about it later, and you couldn’t lie to him, the mark made sure of that.

“Excellent, I look forward to getting to know you boys tonight.” Caleb smiled and started to walk away, but turned at the last second, “(Y/n), darling, can you meet me in my office after you show the gentlemen out?” 

You nodded and he continued on his way, as soon as he was out of sight you turned to Willey. 

“Um, I guess I’m gonna go talk to him, but uh, wanna meet me in my dressing room later?” You prayed he knew what you meant, you guys had to talk about how to go about this situation. 

If you tried telling the boys not to come, you would get shocked, same if you tried to warn them, it was a lose-lose situation. 

Willey nodded and turned to the boys, all of them about to start leaving when Luke turned to you quickly, 

“See you later (y/n)! Can’t wait to see you perform!” He smiled wide at you and you couldn’t help the grin that broke on your face. 

You waved as you watched them leave, the smile falling off your face as they disappeared, knowing what was coming next.  

You slowly walked towards Caleb's office, delaying what was inevitably about to happen. 

Eventually, your walk came to an end, you raised your hand to knock, but before you could, the door opened on its own, Calebs voice speaking from within. 

“Ah, my little songbird, nice of you to join me.” He smiled a wicked smile and the door closed behind you. 

“So, tell me about these boys.” 

.

.

.

Tag List! (inbox me to be added) 

@lolychu 

[skullrock]

the party - Steve x Reader

pairing: Steve x Reader

prompt: “For your song prompts can you do one based on Sister and Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge and whoever you think those songs would work best with”

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, dancing, cute and cocky and sweet Steve, smut, fluff 

a/n: this fic is rly long but it is wholesome and I hope you enjoy!

----------

The party was in full swing.

Parties weren’t really your thing, but your best friend, Anna, had insisted that you come to Lisa Hopkins’ on Friday night. You’d been to a few parties before, but tended to skip them, enjoying a quiet weekend alone. But the promise of drinking and dancing and kissing after midterms was a little too tempting.

It was fall now, the weather just beginning to cool. You decided to wear one of those velvet bodycon dresses, as uncomfortable as it was. You were excited at the prospect of meeting someone, despite the fact it would mainly be classmates.

You’re drinking from a plastic cup, some concoction of soda and juice and alcohol. It tastes like shit, but it gets the job done. You dance lazily in the corner, talking to some friends. You mainly just survey the room. Your eyes land on a tall, toned boy with long brown hair and dark irises.

Steve Harrington.

He had been checking you out for a while, both at school and this party. He knew you were quiet and shy, not talking to too many people outside of your group. He was a bit surprised to see you out, but even more surprised to see you in that tight dress. His jaw clenches as he watches you sway. He crosses his arms and leans back, eyes narrowing on you. When you look up at him, he smiles, and you blush and look away. He’s crushing, and hard, blushing along with you.

“What was that?” Anna asks beside you, nudging your side with her elbow.

“Nothing,” you laugh, consciously avoiding his gaze. “I mean - I don’t know.”

“Dude,” she says, grabbing your arm. “He’s blushing. You got the King to blush.”

“Ugh, please don’t call him that,” you beg. “It’s weird.”

Steve pushes off the wall and goes into another room to get another drink. If he’s ever going to get the courage to talk to you, he has to drink a good bit. As a new friend approaches your corner, Anna slips away, following him to the kitchen.

“Hi,” she says to him, reaching around him to grab a beer. He turns and looks at her.

“Hi?” he says.

“I’ll cut to the chase,” Anna says, leaning against the counter. “I saw you looking at Y/N. What’s the deal?”

He freezes, cheeks flaming red again, but he tries to seem non-chalant. “Well, you know. She’s pretty cute.”

“Yeah,” Anna replies bluntly. “So, either you go tell her what you think, or I will.”

He turns to look at her, glaring, and she smiles at him innocently. He should have shut up. Anna shrugs and walks away, back to the corner where you are. You furrow your brows at her as she walks up. Your eyes flicker behind her, where Steve is coming from the same direction, looking bothered. Your mouth drops and you whack her arm.

“You did not just talk to him,” you hiss, and she only smiles in response.

The staring game lasts a while longer, getting the both of you more and more excited. You watch as Steve talks to his friends, running his hand through his hair, watching his lips turn up into a grin as someone makes a joke. He’s watching you from the corner of his eyes, keeping tabs on where you are and where you go. Suddenly, a boy approaches you, asking you to dance. You figure why not? and make your way to where everyone else is dancing. Steve watches with a clenched jaw as your skin presses against the boy’s, how you throw your head back when you laugh, how you start to grind on the boy, a flushed look on your face. As you dance up on the stranger, you make intense eye contact with Steve. His hand clenches around his drink and his face flushes, watching your hips work. It feels downright sinful, and you suddenly realize how fucking hot it is in there.

“I’m going to get some air,” you tell the boy, and head off for the back porch. You secretly hope Steve follows you.

Sure enough, a few moments after you go outside, Steve follows. You hear the door creak open and turn quickly to look, feeling your stomach flip as your eyes meet his. You quickly look away.

“Hey,” he says, coming to stand beside you as you lean against the railing.

“Hi,” you whisper meekly, and he laughs lightly.

You both stay quiet for a while. Your heart is in your throat, hammering away, and you’re hot even out here in the cold.

Finally, he speaks.

“It’s funny,” he starts, laughing a bit. “I, um… I never would have guessed you could dance like that.”

You laugh in response, breaking some of the tension, but you can’t bring yourself to look over at him. “I guess I can be surprising.”

“Yeah,” he responds. “I always knew you as the quiet girl. I never woulda guessed you could dance like that… or wear something like that.”

You blush deeply and mentally kick yourself. “There’s a lot to me you don’t know, Steve Harrington,” you say lowly.

“And there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he says casually.

“Like?”

He is quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts. “Like how for the past few weeks, you’re the only girl I can think about.”

You laugh loudly, head thrown back, and he looks at you in surprise.

“Do you tell that to every girl?” you ask, finally looking over at him, but you’re met with a grave seriousness that you weren’t expecting.

“Well… yeah, I guess I do. But I do mean it,” he quips, a small smile forming. “I think I’ve… uh….” He runs a hand through his hair, then tilts his head and gives you a signature lopsided grin. “Got a bit of a crush.”

You feel like you can’t breathe. “Are you joking?”

“No.”

You bite your lip and look away. You stay quiet for a while more as you mull over your thoughts. You did want a break from all the bullshit of the past few weeks, and maybe that break could be Steve. Would a single night of fun really hurt? Maybe. It would cause a reputation, sleeping with Steve, but it would also cause him a reputation, sleeping with the quiet girl. His bets are on you, it seems, however. But it’s probably purely carnal. But is that a bad thing?

All Steve knows is that he wants that dress off of you as soon as possible. It’s all his boy brain can muster right now, watching you stare out into the backyard, taking in your curves.

You swallow hard and decide fuck it.

You reach your hand out and brush it beside his, making his breath hitch. You both finally make eye contact, and it’s enough to take you out and make your knees weak.

“I think I’ve got a crush too,” you whisper, inches from his face, and then you both finally connect.

It’s an awkward kiss at first, feeling each other out. But you both quickly get handsy, running your hands over each other, your fingers going for the buttons on his shirt. He laughs and pulls your hands away, but they come back up, and who is he to say no to that? Steve snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. As you grip his shirt and ghost your tongue over his bottom lip, something snaps in him. He brings a hand up to grip your hair and moves his lips down your jaw and onto your neck, making you sigh heavily.

“God,” he breathes. His lips come up and rest on your ear. “I want to tear you apart.”

Your brows furrow comically fast, and you still for a moment, a bit taken aback. But then you realize that’s exactly what you want. You want that rough type of sex, the kind you’d never had before, and the kind that you figure only Steve can give you.

You pull away and take a deep breath. “Take me home?”

He nods and digs through his pockets for his keys. You reach out and grab his arm. “Are you good to drive?”

“Yeah,” he says, looking at you with knitted brows. “Do you live close?”

“Like two streets over,” you say, licking your lips, looking at the chest exposed from the buttons you’d loosened.

“Oh. Well yeah, yeah, I can drive there.” He smiles at you, cockily, making you equally hate him and love him. “Look at you, caring about me.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, and he reaches around to pinch your ass before sweeping you away towards his car.

Anna watches you with wide eyes and a large smile, mocking a dramatic clap, and you roll your eyes and wave to her.

As you climb into Steve’s car, the apprehension comes back, biting both of you. Steve’s worried he’s moving too fast for you, or being too forward, and you’re worried about the same. You weren’t a virgin, but you didn’t do casual hookups. You worried you were in over your head. You check the clock on his dashboard – it’s already 2 am. Maybe you should just go to bed and sleep the tipsiness off.

You quietly give him directions, and he follows them hesitantly. As you pull into your driveway, he sits, unsure. You look over at him, and he looks back. Looking at him, his kind eyes, his boyish and pretty features, you are reminded of why you wanted him to take you home in the first place. You lean forward and catch his lips in yours again, relaxing him, and he cups your jaw in his hand.

You grab his hand and lead it down to your breasts, slowly, and he sighs in response, cupping one and massaging it.

“Such a bad girl,” he breathes, and the butterflies go from your stomach to in between your thighs. It’s a bit funny, hearing him say that about you, but you can’t find the time to care.

“No, I’m not,” you respond quietly. You smile. “I just wanted you to come tuck me in.”

He rolls his eyes and smiles back, catching your lips again, hands wandering. You start to giggle after a few seconds of this, asking, “Are you going to tuck me in or not?”

Steve gets out of the car in lightning speed, running over to open your door. You shake your head – why is he being a gentleman right now? – but take the hand he offers as you climb out. You stumble slightly and he catches you, kissing you again. You have to practically pull him towards your front door.

“You have to be quiet,” you say as you go to unlock it. “My parents are home.”

“A shame,” he whispers, pressing into your back. You can feel his erection against your ass and you sigh, pressing into it. “I wanted to hear you scream tonight.”

“While you tuck me in?”

You can’t see it, but he rolls his eyes.

After successfully sneaking your way into your room, you decide to give him a bit of a show while you were feeling confident. You push him away slightly and start to pull your sleeves down, and he watches with an open mouth. You shimmy out slowly, left in panties and your heels – no bra, as it wouldn’t look good under the dress. A wave of desire runs through Steve as he looks at you; he had never been with a girl that didn’t wear a bra. It would not have been a big deal to anyone except him.

You take your shoes off successfully and stand up straight, looking at him expectantly. He breathes out and whispers, “You are so beautiful.”

You notice your anxiety making you shake a bit and try to just focus on his smooth face and pink lips. “Tuck me in?”

He walks you backwards until you’re at your bed. He pulls the covers back and you lay down, goosebumps covering your skin. As he leans down (with a smile) to tuck the sheets around you, you pull him towards you, lips colliding, and he climbs on top of you breathlessly.

Your hands fly everywhere again. Your fingers run through his hair, gaining a moan from him, and you tug it lightly, making his hips buck. You smile at your discovery but continue your hands down. You tug his shirt and he parts briefly to take it off and chuck it. Your hands run down his toned chest, across his biceps, down to his jeans, and he bucks his hips again. He parts from your lips and kisses down your neck, sucking bruises into the skin, and you moan lightly.

“Are you sure?” he asks, coming up to meet your gaze. His hand cups your cheek and you see a tenderness in his brown eyes, one that you hadn’t seen with other partners. You trust him.

“I’m positive,” you pant. Your eyes glisten as they take in every feature. “Do whatever you’d like.”

He stills. “Are you sure? I mean – I don’t – I don’t want to hurt you, or anything –“

“Steve,” you whisper, cupping his cheek. “Shut up and tear me apart.”

He needs to further convincing. He is soon as naked as you, left only in his boxers, and he kisses down your chest and to your stomach. Your eyes flutter closed and you grip his hand, lacing your fingers through his. It’s a simple gesture, but one he had never experienced in bed before. He squeezes back and uses his free hand to rub your clit. You let out a strangled moan, careful to be quiet, and he dips into your folds to pump a finger in and out. After a few moments, he adds a second finger. His movements are gentle, and while you appreciate his tenderness, you want more. You whine and he seems to get the hint, picking up his pace, making your hips thrust and a hand flies up to your mouth. He reaches his thumb up to brush against your clit, and even though its awkward as his hand pumps in and out of you, you relish in the feeling.

You reach down and try to take his boxers off, but Steve pins your free hand to the bed. He unlaces his fingers from yours and reaches down, ridding them himself, and you can’t believe how good he looks. Well, you canbelieve it, as its all his exes would talk about, but you weren’t really expecting them to be truthful. You wrap a hand around his dick and pump as he moans sinfully, hands going back to work at your cunt, mouth wrapping around a nipple and biting and sucking harshly.

You press your mouth into his hair, moaning out his name, and he smiles around your breast, releasing it and going to the other one. The hand not pumping him runs through his hair and you tug, releasing another loud moan from him. He pulls away from you and you stare as his eyes squeeze shut, mouth open in an “o”. You continue to jerk him off and tug on his hair, and he swears he died and went to heaven, thrusting his hips into your hand and groaning, trying not to make too much noise. Eventually he pulls your hand away from his cock and he pulls you down to him.

“Condoms?” he asks. “I have one in my –“

You beat him to the punch, pointing at your nightstand, and he quickly gets one out and puts it on. He laces his hands in yours, pinned up by your head, and lines up with you. You feel like you can’t breathe, or maybe you literally can’t, and you pant up at him. His face his framed beautifully by his hair, and he looks like an angel.

“Are you sure?” he asks again.

“Positive,” you repeat, and he fills you in one thrust.

Steve starts slow but quickly picks up, eventually slamming into you so hard that your headboard slams against the wall. You wish you had the power to tell him to slow down, but you don’t. It feels way too good, to the point that you don’t give a damn if your parents question you in the morning. The feeling of him pulling completely out before plunging back in, his lips on your neck, pinning your hands down: it was all too much to handle. You bury your head in his hair again and he lifts his head to kiss you, drowning both of your moans out. You free a hand and pull on his hair and he whines sinfully, fucking into you even harder, spurred on by your touch.

His hands run down your body and he grips your thighs harshly, steadying himself. He makes a conscious effort to not cum too quickly at the feeling of you, the sounds you’re making, how slick and hot you are, the sheen of sweat and your hair fanned out around you making you look like someone out of his Playboy magazines. Steve finally reaches down and rubs your clit, and your vision goes black, head thrown back, and his lips clash against yours just in time to silence a loud moan.

“I’m going to cum,” you say against his lips, and he grins.

“Cum for me, Y/N,” he pants, fucking you quicker and harder than before, making you wander fleetingly how it’s even possible. “Cum all over my cock, sweetheart. You can do it, come on, let go.”

You cry out and his face buries itself into your neck, biting down as he has his release at the same time you do. You see stars, eyes clenched shut tightly, legs wrapping around his hips. His pace stammers for a moment before slowing down and stopping, panting into you. He rests on your chest and you play lazily with his hair, trying to catch your breath. He’s sticky and wet, but you can’t care, just enjoying how your hearts beat together, coming down from their highs.

Eventually Steve pulls out and disposes the condom in your bedside trashcan, laying down beside you after. His hand reaches for yours and your fingers interlace again – a silent gesture of trust.

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, and you nod.

“My legs can’t stop shaking, but I’m great,” you say. “Are you?”

“I’m amazing,” he says, squeezing your hand, and you laugh.

You roll over to face him. “Do you still have a crush on me?”

He rolls over and faces you, too, eyes serious. “I do. And I can’t wait to see you on Monday.”

You bring his hand up to your chest, resting it above your heart. “I can’t wait, either.”

Steve pulls you back in and kisses you, gingerly this time, soft and slow and sweetly. His gentleness is dizzying.

After laying in silence for a few minutes, just staring at each other, you start to nod off, and Steve decides it’s time to go. He quietly gets up, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He dresses himself again and your eyes flicker open just as he is about to go.

“Steve,” you whisper, reaching your hand out. He comes and takes it, smiling down at you.

“I wish you could stay,” you mumble.

He nods, his content smile turning sad as his eyes turn downward. “I wish so too.”

“My parents –‘

“I know,” he responds. He gives your hand a kiss and releases it. “I’ll see you Monday.”

You smile dreamily. He walks towards the door again, wishing he didn’t have to go, leaving you in all your beaming glory behind. He shakes himself out of it and exits, quietly shutting the door on his way out.

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tags (message if you want to join <3): @harrington-ofhawkins​ @wolfish-willow​ @gothackedalready​

[yarrowleef]

Read Darkness Within all in one sitting last night and then passed out so here are my scattered thoughts i wrote down as i read, (afterthoughts in parenthesis)

Darkness Within Spoilers, obv

UGH GOD THE SECOND HAND EMBARRESMENT FROM SQUIRREL FAKE FLIRTING WITH ASHFUR IT HURTS

Just remembered Sandynose died and got a small boost of happiness (will Hawkwing and Plumwillow ever be allowed to talk again now? I mean probly not b/c they aren’t protags and non-protags don’t rly have friends but I can hope. Sorry, Hawkwhing and Plumwillow’s short-lived friendship in Hawkwings Journey was one of the last times I felt something)

Ghost fleas lol

Mothwing: i’m rude now. (but more importantly, Fuck Tigerheartstar for forcing his son to be around the cat that hurt him so badly, like he HAS to know how upset everyone is regarding Shadowsight and his accidentally helping the imposter, and he’s making him be the sole one to tend to him??? There is NO REASON Puddleshine couldn’t have done it. You think Puddleshine is going to try and murder someone?? )

Oh no don't make this a traveling book, and a ROOTBRISTLE traveling book this is going to be insufferable

BACON AND EGGS

Lightleap Is Good (Hey didn’t Shadowsight have another sister? lets be real we all knew Pouncekit was going to end up as the forgettable 3rd one)

Bristlefrost’s crush continues to feel unnatural to me. It’s like she’s grasping at straws romanticizing the most generic things.....wow....I love how ur just so...bare minimum competent....being polite to the loner we came all this way to ask for help like any somewhat reasonable person would....How admirable...I love the way you just *clenches fist* exhibit some basic traits of loyalty and skill that literally every warrior has (I s2g I’m this close to head canon-ing Bristle as a clueless aromantic who doesn't understand what romance is actually suppose to feel like so she just looks at feelings of low-bar admiration and assumes “oh I guess this is that “romantic attraction” everyone’s always talking about? guess I must be in love???” because both her crushes have felt out of nowhere and like. Idk fake/forced sounding like she’s just telling me that that she’s In Love Now while I continue to not actually feel it at all from her end. I know it’s just that I hate the way Erin’s write female characters in love but this head-canon makes me laugh)

Got scared because I thought they were going to villainize Spotfur for not wanting kits for a minute, but also excited at the concept of maybe exploring a female character that doesn’t want to be a mother, but it turns out she was just pulling a Sparkpelt and actually DID want the kits all along and was only hesitant because she’s sad. Shrug oh well.  (the only female character in warriors that was distinctly upset about pregnancy and motherhood was Lizardstripe and as we all know she was eeeeeevil and abusive and “overly ambitious” because why else would you not come around to being happy about motherhood?? YES I’M STILL SALTY ABOUT YELLOWFANG’S SECRET, BAD BOOK)  Whatever it’s fine so long as Spot doesn’t lose her rebel leader spirit forever and default to “soft mom” personality for the rest of her life, I gotta have hope because I actually like Bristle and Spot’s current relationship. Also I am actually very grateful they never made Bristle resentful at Spot for getting with her crush, as lots of middle grade/YA media has a very bad habit of demonizing female romantic “competition” and its super gross, so I rly do like that Bristlefrost is so protective and caring towards her instead. )

This series is trying to tell me that Rootspring is actually Big but I refuse to accept that. he has dumb scrawny bitch energy and we all know it

Sunrise: “Thunderclan may be better with a new leader” lol go off (i mean........they right tho...It’s unfortunate that the tension in this whole plot is a bit dampened by the fact that i DO in fact want bramble to die v badly. I don’t even have special hatred for him, I’m just bored of him.)

Yes Lionblaze beat the shit out of Ashfur

*HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKED!!!! (I wrote this in reference to the ghost summoning scene, this was all I could manage at the time, that scene was WILD and I am VIBING WITH THE HORROR OF IT ALL)

* Brashfur: Oh yeah? Could Ashfur fake THIS? *stands up with slightly better posture* Shadowsight: oh damn you got me there...... (asdfhhfhhgh im sorry that was really funny, how did that prove anything?? ONLY A ~REAL~ WARRIOR COULD STAND UP STRAIGHT WE ALL KNOW ASHFUR IS INCAPABLE OF GOOD POSTURE!)

End of the book: *LAUGHING NERVOUSLY* WHAT THE FUCK??? (I thought he was just gonna kill Squirrelflight right there holy shit can you imagine the RIOTS that would ensue in the wake of all this Squirrel/Bramble discourse I was so scared for a second.  

 But it’s fine, she just....went to super hell instead......Warriors has come so far lmao WHAT IS HAPPENING

Final Notes:

*On Mothwing, I don’t think her behavior struck me as “CHARACTER BUTCHERING” as much as it did for other people? I mean.....Warriors fans will say that literally any time a character does ANYTHING less then perfectly nice I think her actions just seemed that much harsher because we are reading from Shadowsight’s POV, and Shadowsight is taking everything 10x more personally right now (understandably so, but Mothwing isn’t inside his head) she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Also... like... Shadowsight DID get his name too early. It’s not Mothwing’s job to put his feelings above everything else, she’s not even his mentor, Puddleshine on the other hand, as his main mentor, I don’t understand what his deal is ignoring Shadowsight, that’s not how you help an apprentice but I suppose I chalk many of his mistakes up to also not being the most experienced medicine cat (he barely even had his own mentor.) Maybe he’s distant because he feels guilty and actually blames himself for not guiding Shadowsight better?? the two of them haven’t communicated about it yet so idk

 any way I give Mothwing a pass to be a little short tempered right now as a cat who has had her abilities periodically questioned all her life no matter how hard she works or how much experience she has, just because she doesn’t vibe with the spiritual cult side of the clans, I can understand why she’s a bit defensive of being questioned and frustrated watching so much hurt happen Yet Again due to reliance on StarClan visions over common sense, and I for one still stan her for slandering StarClan and refusing to accept Mistystar’s bullshit banishing like everyone else. Sometimes a character is at the end of their rope and can’t manage to be 100% nice 24/7 and that’s maybe not inherently bad writing? idk just my hot take. At a certain point we all gotta reckon with the fact that our perception of most popular supporting characters in heavily colored by fanon and we can’t always get mad at the authors for not adhering to it

*The sisters magic shit is my fav worldbuilding warriors has had in AGES, I love the way it’s described and it actually feels like it adds something to this world. I love this horror imagery with the ghosts, very excited for that. 

*still won’t be thrilled if Ashfur is working alone, because his motive doesn’t make sense right now. I mean the trying to get Squilf thing, sure, whatever, but the “I will make everyone pay for what they did to me”???? cause like?? Who??? they didn’t do anything to him?? Ashfur’s grievance was very specifically JUST Squilf. He has no other cause for revenge, he had no other beef or complaints about the clans to my knowledge? The cat that killed him is dead, and she’s like, the only other one that I could see as having “wronged” him?? I guess he also didn’t like Firestar much according to Graystripe’s Vow (and on account of how willing he was to kill him w/ Hawkfrost) but Firestar is ALSO dead. I don’t understand his angle. Will have to see last 2 books to judge i suppose.

*All in all I am interested to see where this is going!! but also the pacing as I feared is becoming a major issue. It’s better then ending the main conflict on book 3 like Vision of Shadows did, but omg. Hardly anything happened in all these pages. I realized I was over half way through and nothing about the situation had actually CHANGED or advanced at all in all that time. Similar to the past 2 books which I believe could have been combined, this plot felt like it should have been the first half of a book. Discussing whether or not to kill the imposter isn’t much of a standalone plot, it’s just the set up to a plot. Finding the sisters didn’t need to be a whole long thing, the debates about the Imposters fate didn’t need to be repeated 10 times, all those chapters illustrating that “Shadowsight is sad” were also drawn out, repetitive, and interchangeable, we probably only needed 2 or so chapters showing his struggles to get the necessary information across. It felt like a lot of padding, it was really slow and I did a lot of skimming. I am still very interested in the overarching plot and mystery behind the ghosts so that kept me reading but man this “will they won’t they kill him” plot did not justify it’s own whole book. Alas this is a persisting issue that will never be resolved while they continue to force 6 books into 1 series that doesn’t need 6 books. I’m sure the writers are doing the best they can with these unfortunate constraints but still, it’s a wonder this slow padding isn’t more of a detriment to their younger readers that the books are supposed to be marketed to.

[sposp0]

this is j me rambling bc i have no one to talk to (i mean that’s basically this whole blog 😩) so feel free to skip lmao

i rly should stop watching creepy shit before bed omg... now i’m all freaked out & i’m tired but can’t sleep. i don’t get scared by things easily in the moment but as soon as it’s nighttime.... bruh the things i watched weren’t even like horror movies or anything it was just youtube videos talking ABOUT horror/scary stories. gotta love cadaber & wendigoon lol. but omg i’d watched the local 58 videos forever ago but then today i watched wendigoon’s video on it & it like unlocked the memory & now i keep thinking abt the real sleep one omg i’m so creeped out ah i should change the subject lol

i’m making diy platform boots!! i found some rly cool boots at the thrift store & i got some flip flops to make the platform part with so now i’m just waiting for the glue on the flip flops to dry. it kinda got fucked up bc the flip flops weren’t long enough for the shoe so i had to like stagger them? i’ll probably have to put more foam in it & maybe wood pieces, plus i’ll have to decorate it so the outside looks even... ugh. i hope we have everything we need bc i rly don’t wanna make my dad take me to the store again lol. but i’m excited for the shoes & the opportunity to do this lil project, it should be fun :) maybe i’ll order some lil spikes to decorate them with :0

my crush and i hung out yesterday like i talked abt, but i’ve been feeling mad guilty lmao. we played we’re not really strangers, and yk at the end of the game u give each other notes to read once you’ve parted ways. mine was basically just like “you’re really cool, you should be more confident! people like you! we should hang out more :)” & then his was like “you have one of the most beautiful souls on the planet. i’m so grateful we met and i hope we never lose this special connection. i love you bro” LIKE?????????????? ok first of all i’m rly happy abt their note bc omg we hardly know each other and he’s dropping the L-word, in a clearly platonic sense but that’s great i mean wow. but u can see why i feel guilty bc WHAT THE FUCK MY LETTER IS LITERALLY SO BASIC COMPARED TO HIS???? i feel so bad omg i would’ve written sumn like he did but i couldn’t rly think of anything in the moment & i didn’t wanna come on too strong but now i’m scared he thinks i don’t like him... omg... he got his 2nd covid vaccine friday btw so he still kinda feels like shit probably, but if he felt better we were gonna go thrift shopping this weekend. he hasn’t reached out tho so idk. i’m kinda scared to message them but i probably will soon j to check in abt the vaccine & let them know im not ghosting them or sumn lmao. we probably won’t get to go this weekend but i’m hoping we will next weekend maybe? idk bc i’m going back to hybrid school and covid is p bad at my school so i don’t wanna get him sick.. like ik he has the vaccine now but i’m still scared 💀 n e wayzzz next time we hang out i’m gonna maybe give them another note to open up when i leave to make up for how terrible the first one was. would that be awkward? idk i feel like it would either be rly sweet or kinda weird. maybe i’ll bring paper and stuff for him to write a note for me & that can be like a lil tradition for us, that’d be cute. ik ive ranted abt him for so long but i promise i’m not obsessed 💀 this is just the first time i’ve made a friend since elementary school & i also have a bit of a crush on him so i rly rly want things to go well. thus, i’m overthinking. ughhh. i rly hope things go well. i’m trying to let it just run its course but it’s so difficult. i rly care too much

ok jfc LONG post i apologize. idrk how to end this lmfao.. bye ig 😩

[f-nodragonart]

ok wait I have one more rant abt American Dragon and I swear I’m done, but the whole concept of a ‘leader’ dragon for every country is very.... strange to me

like ok, suspension of disbelief for vague hand-wavey magic, or the existence of magical creatures, etc. fine fine. but the whole PREMISE of the show is built around the concept of an American Dragon-- yet that concept is so incredibly, frustratingly vague. like I said in my original review, I’m willing to excuse a lot for a simple kid’s show that isn’t looking to worldbuild super deeply, but the main premise at the VERY least should have SOME planning behind it

for one, the physical size and population distribution of each country varies WILDLY across the globe, it’s honestly stupid to assign the same number of ‘leader’ dragons (one) to each, and expect each dragon to serve their respective country to the same degree of competence. the US is a fuckin MASSIVE country w/ two states disconnected from the mainland, and SEVERAL different biomes that have contributed to diverse sets of populations (which would likely be reflected among magical creatures as well, culturally and biologically-speaking). it’s ridiculous to expect ONE dragon to serve, represent, and protect ALL those populations

and the thing is, Jake DOESN’T do that! he’s a New York Dragon at best. the only times I remember him helping out w/ magical emergencies out-of-state are when he’s traveling for personal reasons (like visiting family) or when he’s tending to dragon council business, in which case most dragons across the world are gathering there too (not to mention these instances are generally out-of-country)

having a ‘leader’ dragon assigned to a bio/cultural region without even bothering with human borders would make FAR more sense (esp since the dragons don’t even wanna bother w/ the human world anyways, so why are they assigning things based on human constructs??). hell, there could even still be dragons representing larger areas too, so long as it was established that they’re the more broad-scope representatives that must regularly convene with the dragon representatives of the smaller regions under their jurisdiction. this would assure that each dragon is truly an intimate member of the communities they’re assigned to, rather than some outsider intruding on important matters that they simply can’t understand w/o cultural context. this especially makes sense if we assume that dragon forms are magical/psychological projections of the cultural society that a given dragon is raised in, rather than a *strictly* biological body whose traits are genetically inherited (tho like I said in my main review, I’m rly doubtful of that actually being canon to the show...)

now, it would admittedly be p cool if the show took the time to pull Jake across the nation to explore different cultural/ecological regions and the magical creatures within. but that’s expecting a lot from a show that only establishes that Jake is part-Chinese on the most shallow of levels, and fails to explore Chinese culture in any intimate manner beyond ONE(1) episode about the Chinese new year. like, the bar is on the ground, here

and even if some attention had been paid to America’s diverse cultural settings, I’d still be skeptical of Jake being able to handle the whole nation on his own. hell, I’m skeptical of an ADULT dragon being able to handle a nation as huge as the US, much less a tween handling the whole thing. I already take huge issue w/ kid’s shows framing dangerous, mature situations as “normal” responsibilities for children to encounter and just “get over”, as if they’re as commonplace and simple as like, studying for class. so every time Jake is reprimanded for not managing his time properly when he’s running on 10 min of sleep after facing off against angry trolls, or trying to take some free time for himself when he’s missed out on every other chance at a normal middle school milestone, I genuinely seethe w/ rage

at least w/ most other kid’s shows there’s some explanation I can accept for the main character having to go through that kinda stress. like w/ Danny Phantom, Danny unfortunately goes thru a freak accident, and he can’t tell his ghost-hunting parents abt it for fear that they might tear him apart for science or misguided protection, and he decides on his own that he has some responsibility to use his powers for active good (tho DP still pulls the “ghost-fighting is just like balancing school and a social life!” bullshit that I HATE..). or w/ Steven Universe, all this responsibility was thrust on Steven by adults who didn’t understand the consequences of their actions or had no other choice, and Steven’s currently dealing w/ the massive emotional fallout of having his childhood stolen from him

but with American Dragon, like... this shit is PLANNED. the council carefully CHOOSES the dragon for each nation-- these adults have a RESPONSIBILITY to both a whole WORLD of magical creatures AND their dragon subordinates to choose capable, mature dragons to lead the magical world. and for some reason they decide that this responsibility should fall on the shoulders of LITERAL CHILDREN?? who was the previous American Dragon? where the hell are they now? (Neopuff pointed out to me that Jake is in fact the first AD, which is even even more suspect than before! what!!) even if Jake is chosen to be a potential future AD, why does he have to take on that full responsibility now?? why isn’t a seasoned adult taking care of the bulk of responsibilities until Jake grows up??? like I get that children’s power fantasies hit different when ur an adult b/c u can recognize what responsibilities a child shouldn’t have to deal with-- I GET that it’s good to let children explore mature responsibilities in fiction, I’m not arguing that. but these responsibilities should at LEAST make sense in-context, and NO adult should have knowingly thrust these duties on literal children w/o some DAMN good explanation for why they literally CAN’T assign dragon duties to adults. not to mention that the whole, “you’re selfish and need to learn better time management skills,” thing is such an insidious message to direct at kids who should literally only be expected to... be kids? I’m SO fucking mad abt this!!!

and don’t even get me STARTED on the fact that Jake is being trained by the Chinese Dragon, and Haley by the Korean Dragon. like, again, the show establishes that there’s only one ‘leader’ dragon for every nation, and that Lao Shi and Sun are the current dragons of their respective countries-- they haven’t resigned, as far as we know. so like, what happened to China and Korea (and now that I think abt it, which Korea??)? they just don’t have dragon protectors? fuck them, I guess, they’re on their own now? b/c training American dragons is so much more important than protecting their own countries? b/c a Chinese and Korean dragon somehow have better knowledge of American magical communities than the dragons that have actually been living there and presumably been serving those communities for decades (and b/c every Asian country is apparently interchangeable, so a Korean dragon is obviously perfectly fit to understand the cultural background of part-Chinese dragons)? hello???

now I AM at least willing to consider that perhaps the dragon council runs on enough shallow bureaucracy that their predecessors just arbitrarily decided to assign a single, young dragon to each country, and the current council is too stubborn to change that tradition even in the face of its clear problems. like, actual real-life political systems are absolutely fucked, so it tracks that a fantasy political system could be similarly broken. this doesn’t explain all the fuckshit, but it might at least explain some of the fuckshit. BUT none of these problems are ever brought up in the show, so we have to assume that they are somehow, canonically......... not actually problems..... ugh.............

and none of this even BEGINS to tackle the weird dragon monarchy over all magical-kind. like this obviously isn’t exclusive to AD, u see this sorta bloodline-bound authority thing in a LOT of western fantasy media. but the fact that the dragon council seems so utterly incompetent when u pick apart all the above issues, I’m just sitting here like... how have the trolls/elves/merfolk/etc. not guillotined y’all yet? lmfao

-Mod Spiral

[traincat]

Reading your 5-year plan for spider-man comics on twitter: ugh your mind, rly amazing

I stand by all of this, but whether or not Peter was to be temporarily removed from the picture I really do think they should turn over one of his traditional main titles to Miles. (Nobody seems to get these days that “Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man” is a sarcastic joke, so maybe we should just turn the book over to the actual friendly Spider-Man.) I just don’t think it’s fair to both characters that Peter gets books titled Amazing/Spectacular/Sensational/etc and meanwhile Miles is just stuck with regular Spider-Man. In the spirit of the character, I think he’d want Miles in more of a spotlight. Transferring Miles into the main continuity universe should’ve open up a host of opportunities for Miles, and instead they’re just putting out more and more Peter Parker books that aren’t even well-written or characterized, when I do think Miles could hold his own if given the opportunity. Additionally, if Spider-Man PS4 and Into the Spider-Verse have proved anything, it’s that there’s a lot of desire and a big audience for more Peter-Miles interaction, something the comics themselves have been seriously slacking on. 

Don’t get me wrong, I would like to get new, good Peter Parker stories – but it just doesn’t seem to be happening. His voice is just so bland right now, and it’s a real insult to the best of the character. Part of me sincerely doesn’t think we can get new, truly good Peter Parker stories again until we address Superior Spider-Man and how invasive and traumatic it was, instead of brushing any serious consequences off the table. (And please stop putting out “Superior” books and trying to make Otto in his stolen Peter clone body with his extreme stalking of Anna Maria into a heroic character. It’s extra creepy how nobody at Marvel seems to be aware of how creepy this is. You can’t write a redemption arc by waving aside everything the character did in Superior and going “yeah but he beat up a possessed eight year old, so you know, he’s trying.”) I guess my personal feelings is that, with the cyclical nature of comic book deaths and resurrections, I’d rather take Peter Parker off the field until they can figure out how to tell good stories about him again rather than putting out poorer quality content.

Re: the Gwen story idea in particular, I (and several other people I know) have been thinking about it a lot, especially since the Ghost Spider rebranding because like, come on, it’s right there. And in a world where Jason Todd and Bucky Barnes both get these violent vengeance quest resurrection stories, I feel like it’s pretty glaring why Gwen does not. I like Spider-Gwen as a concept, but it’s not really the same thing, and a lot of creator conversation around Spider-Gwen seems to frame Gwen’s death as some sort of character flaw, and that Spider-Gwen is a better character for not being subjected to a creator decision in 1974. But what I love about 616 Gwen is this kind of unbridled intensity in her, and I think it would be incredible paired with a leather jacket, Peter’s old motorcyle, a stormy night in a graveyard, and one girl’s quest to kill her murderer, her friend’s abusive father, her other friend’s murderer, the orchestrator of the death of her lover and best friend’s, his future wife’s, infant child. Let’s get weird and dark and murderous. Credit to @bipeteparker always because Sydney’s always super inspirational, but especially for this aesthetic post: http://bipeteparker.tumblr.com/post/175246607639/gwen-stacy-a-ghost-a-miracle-a-spider

I think my final two points are that I think a lot of Spider-Man comes out of a place of grief, and I think it would be interesting to reverse and invert that – grief over Peter, rather than Peter’s grief, in a way we haven’t really gotten to explore in 616, at least not from all of these directions. The second is that whether people want to admit it or not, a lot of writing these long, long running comics is essentially paid fanfic – you are playing with characters and settings you didn’t create, and the best fanfic writers can nail those voices, keep up that characterization, build on those relationships, and pull themes and play with them in a way that rings true. So these are just my personal ideas – but I can write some damn good fanfic. 

But anyway, thank you, anon, I’m glad you liked my little rant haha.

[jaeminlore]

it was such a long time ago tho,,, also he's one of the few ppl who knows i like kpop (my parents don't allow so i don't rly tell a lot of ppl in church, only my best friends, n a few other friends who like kpop too know) he found out when i was telling my senior who likes kpop,,, and was like "u like kpop??" n i was like yeah but pls dun tell my parents,,then my dad came over to call me and he was like "uNcLe~" n i had to be like shh dude pls dont,,, n hes such a tease ugh i got legit scared-🦋

also i ghosted him,,,,im pretty sure he doesnt like me now,, all these events happened like months ago,,,,,,,,im such a clown for liking him now tho sksksk oh also i had a dream about him last night, that he took my hand n interlocked our fingers,,,, i was blushing so much in that dream omg sksksksk n e ways i dont even know why im getting so affected by this, but its weird, i think its cos im thinking of him a lot,,, also the last time i dreamt of him he was pointing a knife to my neck lol i dont even kNOW,, its probably too many mafia aus messing with my head lmao plus,, i ghosted him ahh after all of those things happened (like him putting his hand on my shoulder) n i feel bad ughh, so like yeah im pretty sure he doesnt like me back anymore,, tho after communion when he's walking back to his place he smiles at me n i smile back,, he smiled at me on sunday too :)) but we barely talk like at all sigh,,, so i'm q sure he got over it, i mean it was almost a year ago.

————

i mean never say never, i would say. plus he doesn’t seem to hold any grudges about the ghosting, but if it makes you feel better maybe you should apologize for it? it might ease your mind.

[persimmonlions]

people who ask for advice then are really hurt by that advice even though i tried to make it as soft and generic as possible: lol. lmao even

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[partlycharlie-archive]

gender? who is she? (they???)

chapter one: what’s my name again? link to prologue

summary: [18:00] ???: LUNA [18:00] ???: WHAT IF [??? (SumayaPotter) changed their name to harry?] [18:00] harry?: !!!!!! word count: 1,573 warnings: n/a a/n: we’re getting into it!!! hope u enjoy

read on ao3

[FRIDAY; 10.12.18]

  the golden trio™ [POTter (SumayaPotter), grangerstranger (HermioneGranger), DieselWeasel (RonWeasley)]

  [16:45] POTter: @everyone

[17:34] grangerstranger: What’s a mood [17:34] grangerstranger: Sorry [17:34] grangerstranger: What’s up

[17:36] DieselWeasel: how do you accidentally type whats a mood

[17:36] grangerstranger: Magic [17:36] grangerstranger: And a conversation going on next to me

[17:37] DieselWeasel: okay [17:37] DieselWeasel: sounds fake but . okay [17:37] DieselWeasel: a n y w a y [17:37] DieselWeasel: @POTter whats up

[17:40] POTter: oH [17:40] POTter: yh sry [17:40] POTter: if yall were th opp sex wht wld ur names b ?

[17:41] grangerstranger: Sorry just [17:41] grangerstranger: Give me a minute to decipher that

[17:41] DieselWeasel: #rekt

[17:41] POTter: r00d

[17:42] grangerstranger: Wait Maya

[17:42] POTter: ye

[17:42] grangerstranger: As in what our parents would've named us or what we'd want our names to be if we were the opposite sex

[17:42] POTter: idc both

[17:43] grangerstranger: William

[17:43] POTter: y

[17:43] grangerstranger: Well [17:43] grangerstranger: I don’t know what my parents were thinking when they named me [17:44] grangerstranger: But the name Hermione is from the winter’s tale by Shakespeare [17:44] grangerstranger: I'm not the hugest fan of Shakespeare but I'd still like to have an older name [17:44] grangerstranger: Plus his first name was William so it's still a nod to my parents

[17:44] POTter: damn out here w tht Knowledge [17:45] POTter: ron????

[17:46] DieselWeasel: uhhhhhhh [17:46] DieselWeasel: i mean if i had been born a girl it wouldve been ginerva bc yall KNOW ma and dad have been holding onto that for ages [17:46] DieselWeasel: but . harper maybe? i like that name

[17:46] POTter: huh [17:46] POTter: harperd fit u

[17:47] DieselWeasel: what about you

[17:50] POTter: idk [17:50] POTter: what do u think

[17:50] grangerstranger: Alex [17:50] grangerstranger: ?

[17:51] DieselWeasel: i mean ? would you want like [17:51] DieselWeasel: an ethnic name ? [17:53] DieselWeasel: imagine quotes on that lol

[17:53] POTter: ehhhhhhh [17:53] POTter: i wldnt b opposed but ? [17:54] POTter: idk rly i guess itd be cool either way [17:54] POTter: also @grangerstranger alex is nice

[17:54] DieselWeasel: mkay [17:56] DieselWeasel: what about harry [17:56] DieselWeasel: hari ? harry ? who knows

[17:56] POTter: OH [17:56] POTter: y e s [17:56] POTter: thank

[17:59] DieselWeasel: uh ? [17:59] DieselWeasel: no problem lol [17:59] DieselWeasel: :)

  ??? (SumayaPotter), luna! (LunaLovegood)

 [18:00] ???: LUNA [18:00] ???: WHAT IF

[??? (SumayaPotter) changed their name to hari?]

[18:00] hari?: !!!!!! [18:00] hari?: wait wait wait

[hari? (SumayaPotter) changed their name to harry?]

[18:01] harry?: i like this better i think [18:01] harry?: idk im still trying 2 figure it out

[18:04] luna!: oh! that's a lovely name. congratulations harry! i'm glad you've found something that suits you. :D

[18:04] harry?: :D

 ---

  [SATURDAY; 10.13.18]

  everyone except sumaya [granger (HermioneGranger), weasley_1 (RonWeasley), weasley_2 (GinnyWeasley), malfoy (DracoMalfoy), longbottom (NevilleLongbottom)…]

 [13:35] granger: I just want all of you to know I still disagree with the name of this chat

[14:57] malfoy: Yes, yes, we know. [14:57] malfoy: You’ve been saying that since the creation of this groupchat.

[15:15] weasley_1: #rekt

[15:28] granger: Shut up malfoy

[15:28] weasley_1: #rekt

[16:01] longbottom: ok but we haven’t had to use this chat for a couple weeks now? what’s up hermione?

[16:01] weasley_1: sus acting weird

[16:01] longbottom: okay but she’s always acting weird, what’s different about this time?

[16:02] weasley_1: we had an entire conversation about what our names would be if we were the opposite sex

[16:02] longbottom: oh. [16:02] longbottom: yeah okay that’s a bit weird. [16:02] longbottom: what did she say her’s would be?

[16:02] granger: That's the thing though [16:03] granger: She didn’t [16:03] granger: She asked us what we thought it should be

[16:03] weasley_1: here gimme a sec

[weasley_1 (RonWeasley) sent a screenshot.] [weasley_1 (RonWeasley) sent a screenshot.]

[16:05] parkinson: im dead her name is my MOOD

[16:05] longbottom: damn. okay. [16:05] longbottom: what do you think it means?

[16:06] weasley_1: i dunno why does it have to mean anything

[16:06] longbottom: well, obviously you think it means something - you wouldn’t have posted it here if you didn’t?

[16:06] weasley_1: damn youre right [16:07] weasley_1: i dunno? it just feels like kind of an odd thing to ask about ? [16:07] weasley_1: especially because its not like we were talking about names today or anything [16:07] weasley_1: it just seemed like an out of the blue subject thats all

[16:09] lovegood: if i may interject? i find it very likely that sumaya is simply settling into their personality, and part of that may include an exploration of the different facets of themself! [16:09] lovegood: her*, whoops!

[16:09] weasley_1: ? [16:09] weasley_1: oh okay

[16:09] longbottom: you’re so right, luna!

[16:09] weasley_1: huh yeah that makes sense lol

  #girlsforluna (GinnyWeasley), #boysforluna (NevilleLongbottom)

 [16:10] #girlsforluna: gay

[16:11] #boysforluna: :’) [16:11] #boysforluna: i can’t help it! she’s so [16:11] #boysforluna: wait.

  everyone except sumaya [weasley_1 (RonWeasley), longbottom (NevilleLongbottom), lovegood (LunaLovegood), granger (HermioneGranger), malfoy (DracoMalfoy)…]

 [16:12] longbottom: hey, @lovegood?

[16:13] lovegood: yes! hi neville!

[16:13] longbottom: hey! what pronouns are you using right now?

[16:13] lovegood: he/him for now! :)

[16:13] longbottom: okay! thanks so much.

[16:14] weasley_2: neville you fucking nerd i cant,,,,,,

  #girlsforluna (GinnyWeasley), #boysforluna (NevilleLongbottom)

 [16:12] #girlsforluna: you okay??? [16:13] #girlsforluna: oh my god lmfao

[16:14] #boysforluna: okay, i got it. [16:14] #boysforluna: he’s just so cute! and smart! and kind! and! ugh my god i love him so much.

[16:14] #girlsforluna: youre so fucking cute i wanna die [16:14] #girlsforluna: you really just paused an online conversation to get pronouns i love you oh my god [16:14] #girlsforluna: also. i feel you so hard he’s such a lovely person??? hhhh [16:14] #girlsforluna: anyway :)

[16:14] #boysforluna: :)

  everyone except sumaya [weasley_2 (GinnyWeasley), longbottom (NevilleLongbottom), lovegood (LunaLovegood), weasley_1 (RonWeasley), granger (HermioneGranger)…]

[16:15] lovegood: is everything okay, neville?

[16:16] weasley_2: oh yeah totally i just had the sudden and urgent realization that neville’s a fucking nerd

[16:16] longbottom: shut the hell up n stop ghosting u hoe

[16:17] parkinson: damn son okay [16:17] parkinson: i dont know if im more surprised tht u cursed or tht u didnt use Perfect Punctuation ???? either way im lowkey impressed good job

[16:17] longbottom: :)

  mione (HermioneGranger), nevs (NevilleLongbottom)

 [16:46] mione: Hey neville

[17:09] nevs: yeah, what’s up?

[17:11] mione: Do you think sue might be [17:11] mione: Trans or something?

[17:11] nevs: huh. [17:11] nevs: i guess i’d never thought of it but. [17:11] nevs: i suppose it’s entirely possible? [17:12] nevs: especially because she’s been wearing her hijab more often.

[17:12] mione: Yeah [17:12] mione: Wait but why would that mean shes trans?

[17:13] nevs: well, she has really long hair, and when she’s not wearing a hijab she usually has it in a braid because it’s easier to manage, right?

[17:13] mione: Yeah I know what hou mean [17:13] mione: You

[17:13] nevs: but it’s also a constant reminder that she has hair. [17:13] nevs: i mean, i was talking to luna the other day? [17:14] nevs: and he mentioned that on his masculine days he like to put his hair up, but only when he’s feeling really dysphoric. [17:14] granger: so now that i think about it in that light, it makes a lot of sense - [17:15] nevs: her hair goes into a bun when she puts it up, and it’s tight so she doesn’t have to think about it so much.

[17:15] mione: Oh [17:15] mione: Yeah that makes sense [17:16] mione: Thanks Neville

[17:16] nevs: no problem! [17:16] nevs: i probably wouldn’t go around sharing this with everyone, though. [17:16] nevs: especially because we don’t really know if it’s true or not.

[17:17] mione: Yeah of course

  hermyownknee (HermioneGranger), ronniekins (RonWeasley)

 [17:20] hermyownknee: Hey Ron

 ---

  ron (RonWeasley), luna (LunaLovegood)

 [17:34] ron: hey luna

[17:38] luna: hello, ron! is everything okay?

[17:38] ron: um . i think so?

[17:38] luna: okay! [17:40] luna: what did you want to talk to me about? [17:40] luna: i assume you contacted me for a reason? :)

[17:40] ron: haha yeah [17:40] ron: um [17:40] ron: dont take this the wrong way [17:41] ron: i know sometimes sumaya tells you stuff that she doesn’t tell me or hermione [17:41] ron: and that’s fine [17:41] ron: obviously shes allowed to make those kinds of decisions for herself [17:41] ron: but uh

[17:41] luna: she’s fine, i promise. [17:42] luna: i would tell you if she told me anything that i found concerning.

[17:44] ron: okay [17:44] ron: thanks

[17:50] luna: of course, ron.

[sapphirescales]

overdue thoughts abt the l/ogan movie:

things i did like / were memorable:

i lovelovelove laura, i need ten of her

i love the shitting-on-marvel bc of alk/ali-tra/nsigen and Exactly what that means. inh#mans inb4 the m/cu. LKSDJFLKSADFJ no but also, i really loved this because of v explicit mentions of e/ugenics when it comes to alkali-tra/nsigen, and the comparison it makes to naturally occuring mu/tants. it reminds me of this post, which is my fave of all time.

i love cha/rles and lo/gan so much my heart aches. i love the blatantly manipulative & selfish cha/rles that, until this point, probs only ravne ever saw? i love and yet??? my heart is broken for all the ways they were broken, and for how fiercely they ended up depending on each other, and how difficult it was???

i LOVE the fight between l/ogan and x/24??? a literal past, a ghost of the implacable berserker rage of his younger days??? the almost gothic doppelganger theme??? and i love that you see, clearly, just how l/ogan’s grown for the better; the rage makes him physically stronger, but not better??? his rage is a tool for others to manipulate him with and use him, and he?? loses focus of the things that should matter & should be important??? and i love tht x/24 is destroyed by laura, the v real and tangible symbol of logan’s connections to PEOPLE??? i LOVED it

ch/arles’ death broke my goddamn heart and i’m never ever going to be over it

things i did not like:

stop killing off mutants. just stop. stop creating & justifying timelines where they’re all dead. just STOP. your agenda’s rly obvious, there’s no one left???

i really didn’t like what they did with l/ogan??? from the v beginning of the xmovies, he’s always represented having to live with your actions, and having to survive no matter what??? and he’s always been important because of that??? because, knowing he can survive, he’s been willing to do a lot of things that other people can’t/won’t do??? and, knowing he can survive, spending his life making up for his mistakes??? and yet?? still being able to make close friendships and fall in love and to get to be happy in spite of that??? that he doesn’t have to do every damn thing by himself??? and to see him brought that low put me in such a bad place, and not in the good achy-breaky kind of way but??? in an actually bad kind of way??? he’s just completely given up??? a lot of people will probs disagree w me here but i dont really care lmao

i think h/ugh was right when he said it would’ve been more meaningful if l/ogan had lived. bcause there’s “no livin with the killin” etc. i’m??? so sick of w/olverine movies but, in this case, it would’ve been more meaningful to me idk

i dont really have anything much to say abt the movie beyond this; it put me in a bad place and now i’m just? kind of numb to it? the movie numbed me and while i dont hate it, i dont love it either, i just wish it never happened lmao

[nastoychivost]

Tagged by: @kurwakurwakielbasa dom I know if there’s a meme I wanna do I can count on u to tag me in it ilu ;* Tagging: @hailcolumbia @annuitcoeptis @pannazsinihkvetak @t3485 @ainaikapono @severnayastolitsa  @sveikidraugai​  @marching-man 

GENERAL

Name: mittens Birthday: October 30th Age: 19  Sexual Orientation: ace as all hell Romantic Orientation: panromantic ayyy finger pistols. winks. falls over. School Status: college freshman 

YES/NO

Drink?: i’ve never drank  Smoke?: i’ve never smoked Eat cake?: yeah but i don’t rly like cake that much oops Believe in true love?: see i don’t at all but i wish it was a thing because i’m a hopeless romantic and i eat shit like that up  Afraid of the dark?: not really unless i’m walking down the stairs i’m always afraid a ghost will push me down them Cat person?: i love cats so much cats are so important to me

FAVOURITES

Shampoo: this cherry blossom stuff and it’s so nice and clean i love it Disney song: the brave soundtrack is really good i liked that a lot Actress/Actor: i’m sorry i don’t really watch many movies or tv shows i don’t have a favorite actor Car: i would sell my blood if it meant i could get a little red mini cooper. they’re so cute just look at that dumb thing. i love it Person: I CAN’T JUST PICK ONE PERSON I mean there’s my parents and my aunt and a couple teachers who rly influenced me and my work buddies but there’s also a few ppl i’ve met on tumblr throughout the years who are very very dear friends to me and i care about them very much because they put up with me and i have no idea what my life would be like without them and ahhh sends kisses @hailcolumbia ​ @t3485​ @annuitcoeptis Type of Weather: i rly enjoy that spring weather where it’s just cool enough for a jacket and there are flowers and it’s just a little bit drizzly u feel 90s Sitcom: fuck idk man

QUESTIONS

What is your special talent/skill as a roleplayer?

uh.,,, I have the ability to write excessively drawn out headcanons about Ivan to the point where I get out of control and completely burn out, does that count for anything

What is your favourite type of roleplay genre, and why?

oh man oh man I REALLY love historical roleplay ugh punch me in the fucking face I love historical roleplay so much. the only reason I don’t do it as much as I’d like to is because my inspiration waxes and wanes a lot and my muse has a tendency to be uncooperative. also there’s been sort of a backlash against historical roleplay that I’ve noticed and it makes me p sad because?? it’s such an interactive way to learn about history and that resonates with me idk, as long as the topic isn’t insensitive and is handled with care I don’t see a problem

Why did you pick your muse?

it kind of happened by luck tbh?? I used to rp on FB a long long time ago and I had a couple friends back then, and one was like ‘oh you really like APH Rus.sia you should rp him’ so then I did and that’s the moment my life spun out of control. Ivan has developed a lot since then so I don’t consider him to be the same muse or really even canon APH Rus.sia save for appearance and name, but I don’t regret picking him and I love my shitty son he’s v important to me <3

if you could write any other muse - but know you don’t have the muse for him/her - who would it be?

there’s a couple?? I always adored APH South Ko.rea and I did a little bit of rping as Yong Soo waaaay back in the day, but I ended up focusing on Ivan in the end and that’s where my energy went tbh. if I didn’t have so many great friends who rp APH Amer.ica beautifully already I’d probably try that a bit but ngl I think I’d get too far into satire territory anyways lmao

What is one thing you think you need to work on as a partner?

oh jeez.,, I’m really bad about dropping threads I’m so sorry @ anyone who has ever rped with me my muse is so spotty and uncooperative like 99% of the time it’s really hard to get him to come out if he doesn’t feel like it, and a lot of the time on tumblr he’s less than eager to come out? I do most of my rping off of tumblr in IMs and stuff and ngl he tends to come out easier there but I’m just so sorry to anyone who I’ve ever rped with on tumblr it’s not you it’s my spotty muse ;;;;;

What would be your warning label to other roleplayers?

I’m shy at first but don’t become friends with me I talk too much and rant about miscellaneous and irrelevant things that nobody gives a shit about because I have too much to say I’m sorry

What is your favourite episode/scene of your muse?

well like I said I don’t really consider Ivan exactly as APH Rus.sia at this point but I never got over that strip where he goes to that meeting late and he’s like ‘oh I had to stop a tank with my own body’ and everyone just like. accepts it. jesus

What crack!ships do you have for your muse?

I’ve always liked RusTurk and RusGer but I’m singleship so OOPS

What is your senpai blog?

one day I will be able to word and aesthetic like toma but by the time I get there toma will have already become even greater someone stop him he’s out of control