#ugh. awful. and I feel worse when people make me things and then I don’t get to send something back

[peapod20001]

Bro I’m </3 thinking too hard </3

[tetheredfeathers]

Someone had the audacity to say Katniss had no character development?!??

“My nightmares are usually about losing you,” he says. “I’m okay once I realize you’re here.” Ugh. Peeta makes comments like this in such an offhand way, and it’s like being hit in the gut. He’s only answering my question honestly. He’s not pressing me to reply in kind, to make any declaration of love. But I still feel awful, as if I’ve been using him in some terrible way. Have I? I don’t know. I only know that for the first time, I feel immoral about him being here in my bed. Which is ironic since we’re officially engaged now. “Be worse when we’re home and I’m sleeping alone again,” he says.”

Like my girl goes from being awkward and uncomfortable about a mere comment to flirting back with him.

“Do you think we’d have ended up like this if only one of us had won?” he asks, glancing around at the other victors. “Just another part of the freak show?” “Sure. Especially you,” I say. “Oh. And why especially me?” he says with a smile. “Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don’t,” I say with an air of superiority. “They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you’d be lost entirely.” “Having an eye for beauty isn’t the same thing as a weakness," Peeta points out, "Except perhaps when it comes to you.”

I mean like look at her initiating?!!!???

Oh and let's not forget her ultimate line.

"I do", I say. "I need you." He looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, and that's no good, no good at all, because he'll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I'll just get confused. So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss.

I think people really need to redefine what character development means. Because the core of someone's personality doesn't change all that much, Katniss at the end of the day is still stubborn and impulsive. If you changed everything about a character you might as well be writing someone else, staying true to certain traits your character has is realistic writing. Because as humans certain attributes never really change, we only learn to make exceptions or adapt for certain people or situations.

And that is what happens to Katniss, she leans to stop being stubborn and accept Peeta's love but only for him. In other aspects she continues to be stiff, such as never taking order from authorities, trying run from her squad. All impulsive and stubborn acts, true to her original character.

[froggy-anon]

I don’t smoke (Except for when I'm missing you)

Paring: pre re2!Ada Wong x gn!reader

Prompt: Your relationship with Ada was… let’s just say rocky for a while now. Low contact, constant work trips and unavoidable arguments while she’s home- it’s just too much. You both changed since she started working with Wesker …, and so did your body.

Warnings:  angst, body horror, no use of y/n, maybe nsft?, implied reader’s death, bebe you get infected so yeah but it wasn't meant to happen at least, semi-dependant reader, use of tobacco, vomiting, shitty punctuation and misuse of commas, canon divergence, semi-good ending???? idk

Word count: 2.3k 

Notes: omg did I finally post something instead of keeping it in my wips?? hell yeah! I might not be hyperfixating on RE now but I can't get Ada off my head. I mean- just look at her! She's perfect<3 Fucking hell it took me A LONG time to finally finish it but shh… Also only after writing did I realize that the idea is very similar to this fic my @uhlunaro so definitely check this out bc they’re an amazing writer<3

Actually proofread (like ½ for sure) by me omg

It all happened too fast; it was just the usual Thursday morning, the smell of freshly ground coffee and the familiar scent of your lover were in the air as you made the breakfast and the eggs you made were perfectly crispy with runny yolk. Everything seemed to be like it used to but then the call happened… You knew who was it, everyone knew because who else would it be? It was supposed to be your day, you both took the day off and you spent the last few days planning everything out. It was your anniversary, the day you should celebrate your love and not some emergency in the lab! But of course… She was gone again. 

“Why can’t you just pretend that you love me for once!?,” was the last thing you cried out screamed at her as she left. It’s just painful to know that even today her work is more important. It left you weeping softly on the floor, as the yolk of the egg spilled more and more towards your feet from the plate you broke. “Why can’t we be a normal couple…” Your tears had flown out even more now that you were alone.

Ada never liked when you smoked, she always said it left this awful scent on your fingers and breath but why would you care now? A soft breeze hit your face as you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette, who’d think that living near the river could be so nice? Loving Ada is tiring, she used to be one of the most caring and loving people you’ve ever known- even before you started dating! And now it all changed… Yeah, working in some big pharma company can be tiring but it’s ruining both of you. 

The butt of the cigarette was still slowly burning as you looked in the distance. She used to tell you how she grew up near the sea, how they used to go there every day after school and play until the dawn came. She used to say how she’d take me to her hometown in China. You never were even close to one, your parents used to take you and your brother to the countryside on holidays or visit the lake near your hometown; it wasn’t the same though. Loving Ada was never easy, she had her own problems as well as you had yours but before all this you both managed to heal, to thrive. You should’ve left when it started, before all the arguments and hate. It’s not a new idea but the thought of being alone again is scary. Ugh, you’re thinking too much, it makes you dizzy. Or maybe was it the cigarette?

You always get dizzy, maybe all this overthinking is too much for you. You head towards the kitchen sink and fill up a glass with the tap water. It was just a small argument, it wasn’t worth all the mess. You never thought that water would make you feel worse, no one would! We need it to live, so why your insides are burning? Who cares, anyway the mess won’t clean itself. It doesn’t feel right, nothing feels right. The burning sensation might’ve stopped but it was replaced with this sore, almost itchy feeling. Ada came home late again, she’s not looking better than you but as you greet her you could see a spark of worry in her eyes. Why would she worry? There’s nothing to worry about, right? All you can do is sigh and act like nothing happened, she surely flinches when you kiss her because she’s still annoyed over today’s morning…

You woke up somehow more tired than before you went to sleep. Funny enough you also look like shit. Yeah, you can tell yourself that you caught a cold but if so, then why does my body itch so much? Ada looks less worried than tomorrow but finally is some more affectionate than usual. Maybe the fight made her think finally.

You miss her touch though; the way she smuggles up to your chest and how soft are her lips. You miss how she used to be so good. You miss how your life was before this Wesker guy. Good, she’s warming up again. She kissed you goodbye and said something about coming home later. Weird…

It’s itching, itching so much. It feels like something is under your skin and it’s moving… It sure has to be a delusion, a hallucination maybe but it feels so real. Let’s try to calm down. okay? You can’t go to work while being such a mess and after all some DayQuill will help you a ton. You go to the kitchen and prepare some breakfast before popping some cold meds. You brush your still tangled hair to the side and oh my… I- it’s weird, you always had strong and healthy hair after all so why a clump of them is in your hand right now? I mean, I guess all all of the stress lately finally got to you, being a news reporter is not easy and it shouldn’t be. You sure will feel better when you’re finally in your work wear and clean face.

As soon as you get to the bathroom you hit the sink and rinse your face. It’s dry and surprisingly harder than always. As you lift your head and you look in the mirror, the rougher parts of your face look bruised. And there are some lacerations which weren’t there when you woke up- Ada would point them out for sure. It’s weird but that’s nothing that some makeup can’t fix. Also, it’s not like you can just get a day off at a whim. The amount of concealer you put on your face is enough to put a gyaru inro shame and yet your face still feels wrong and itchy. You brush your hair getlly while trying to not rip out another chunk of your hair and put on your usual shirt and blazer before putting on short heels on your sore and reddish feet. You sat at the vanity waiting for your usual makeup artist to return and rehearse your lines. It’s so hard to focus on the letters and it feels like you’re in a haze. It’s hard to explain really, mostly because it’s hard to form coherent thoughts too. No matter how much you rub your eyes and take small breaks you just can’t focus on anything. Words on the paper are blurry and there's always a silhouette of something or someone in the corner of your vision. It hurts and you’re almost sure that your feet are bleeding. You don’t even realize when the makeup artist has returned and been putting some TV stick on your face until she gets to the painful lesions you passed as some chemical burn from a face mask. Your concept of time is distorted and looking back now you don’t even remember when you and your colleague went live. Funny… You got suddenly sick and now you’re delivering the news of the water reservoir your apartment complex uses being contaminated.

Black tar filled your lungs making your trachea burn so pleasantly. The smoke inside your lungs made you feel so giddy right before you exhale. Cigarettes always help you take your mind off your problems and help preserve good emotions. You know that one day they will be the end of you, but it’s not like you’re gonna live forever so why not have fun now? 

Shadowy figures followed you home from the studio, it’s surprising that you managed to work your usual shift. Even your coworkers caught on your ailing and lying to them that you’re just a bit under the weather felt bad. Bills ain’t gonna pay themselves though so you gotta do what you gotta do. Ada didn’t say anything about your illness and only looked at you pitifully compassionately before kissing your cheek, she even offered to make a dinner for today. You pulled into a hug and her warm touch against your calloused skin reminded you of the old times, of the days you first met and how beautiful your relationship was. She smelled like honey and antiseptics, you couldn’t stop yourself from taking a deep breath of her scent which made your heart flutter. Her skin is so soft and delicate, making you want to bite down and taste her flesh push her against the counter and take her whole, she’s your wife after all. Before you can do that though she pulls away and makes a beeline towards the fridge. The packs of water, the ones that appeared in your kitchen a few days ago, took your attention away from her. You couldn’t help but feel a bit suspicious.

You didn’t sleep much- in fact, you didn’t sleep at all. Your body just kept itching and the nausea you felt as you forced down the dinner before got progressively worse. You can feel your body changing, turning into something disgusting as your skin gets progressively covered in more bruises and blisters where it seemed to be just irritated this morning. The taste of pennies in your mouth and dry skin on your lips isn’t doing you any favour either. It was only a matter of time before you ended up hunched over the toiled letting the dark ooze flow out of your stomach freely. Your vision kept spinning and those black creatures you saw before were coming closer. It’s not real, it has to be! Just try to remember that whatever you’re seeing is. not. real.

Throwing up usually makes you feel better; not this time though. Your eyes became watery and your fingers bloody as you gripped the toilet bowl. The odour of rotting flesh filled your nostrils and the sickeningly sweet note of it made you gag again. You dealt with rotten meat before on a few occasions and it never was so sweet.

“Shit!”

You broke out of your trance as the bathroom lit up.  Your head shot in the direction of the sound and of course, you noticed your worried lover standing in the doorway. Only a grunt was able to leave your mouth making your throat ache. “Are you okay?” She asked hesitantly as she approached. She looks scared for some reason? You’re just a bit sick, there’s no reason to be scared!

And then you looked down. The toilet was full of brownish-blackish and thick fluid and definitely not dinner. The sides of the toilet were covered in your blood and one of your nails was lying on the floor directly next to the bowl. You take a look at your hands and it makes your breath quicken. Your fingers were all purple and greenish, even some of the tips of your fingers were, unlike the spots on your skin, bloated.

“What the fuck is happening to me?” Your voice was husky and every word felt like a razor being pulled out of your throat. Ada just looked sad… You’d expect her to be scared, to scram, run away, but instead, she just kneeled next to you and pulled you into a loose embrace, as if she was scared to hurt you more.

It pained you, the lightest touch of her silky pyjamas or her warm hands made your skin feel like it was breaking and about to fall off. It was excruciating yet you laid your head gently on her shoulder. You should be scared, furious! You should feel whatever else than sorrow and warmth inside your chest. A few tears flew down your cheeks onto her arm as you bit down on your lip to stop a pathetic sob from escaping. You could feel her hand slowly crase your head like she always did before you used to fall asleep before your life became occupied by jealousy and your jobs took over your time, before your relationship went downhill. She let out a barely audible “I’m sorry…” and you swear you felt her breath hitch.

They are scratching your brain, you can feel every bone in your body change its shape, or maybe you’re just going insane.

Ada is making phone calls in the kitchen as you sit at the dinner table and scratch your fingers, eventually ripping one or two loose fingernails off. She keeps glancing at you while trying her best to hide the fear in her eyes. Damn, a cigarette would be good now… You can feel your muscles tear with your every move and slowly fall off your bones. Necrosis on your skin expands and only a few spots on your body are left the same colour as before.

It hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts ithurts ithurts ithurts ithurtsithutsithurtsithutrsithurst i t h u r t s  s o  b a d l y.

Suddenly you can smell the familiar scent of honey and now Ada’s shampoo as she wraps her hands around you from behind. She looks so soft and tasty, so vulnerable. Her touch hurts so good you want to fall into her tight embrace, squeeze her waist tightly and fuse into one. It makes you feel loved again… And then your body stops aching.

You felt sudden force against your neck like you were punched, and then something lukewarm flowing down your chest as Ada creases your cheek slowly. It hurts for a while until it just stops. Everything just fades…

“I don't smoke Except for when I'm missing you To remember your mouth, how it Tasted true And I don't smoke Except for after I've held you, baby Being with you Makes the flame burn good”

It took me so long to finally post something but here it is! I hope you like the creation of euphoric me because let's be real, no way I'd write this fully without being euphoric :3 Technically it should've been posted on Pride Month but shh...

Dividers: @cafekitsune p1 p2

Song: I don't smoke by Mitski

©2023, froggy-anon and their related entities. All rights reserved.

[ninjaturtlemaniac]

John Dory and Sable ❤️

“Is this a date?”

Sable blinked at him and put her glass down before she could take a sip.

“Pardon me?”

No turning back now.

“Are we on a date right now?”

“Do you want it to be?”

“I ughhh…”

Do I…?

“What would you do differently? If I was on a date with THE John Dory?”

John thought for a moment. 

What do I do on dates? I haven't dated since… Wait, were those even dates?

“Well...” he tried to appear more confident. “For starters I'd take you somewhere a lot less ughh…”

“Snooty?”

“I was gonna say ‘crowded’ but yeah snooty works.”

“Perhaps I did overdo it. I only bring people here when I want to impress them. Which is silly I guess. I don't feel like I have to impress you.”

“Gee, thanks.” JD deadpanned.

“Wow! I worded that terribly, didn't I?” Sable snort-laughed at herself. “What I meant was… you…know me, so I don't have to be…fake… in front of you.”

“You can't be Sable for other people?”

“Not often. Part of being a public figure.”

“I can understand that I guess.”

Sable noticed the clothes John Dory was wearing. They were far different from his usual getup. Even at the Met Gala, his fancy dinner outfit was still very ‘John Dory’ inspired.

What he was wearing tonight, he wasn't being John Dory.

He was trying to be someone else for her.

She couldn't do that to him.

Before she knew it she had dropped her napkin onto the table.

She stood up and offered him her hand.

“Let's go somewhere less snooty.”

“What about dinner?”

She grabbed the bread basket.

“Done!”

JD smiled wide and took her hand.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Your beverage Ms. Sable” he said in a silly snobby voice as he offered her a can of soda.

“Why thank you, good Sir.”

“Sorry I didn't have a better place to bring you to.”

After some brainstorming, John Dory decided to take her to his workplace; the Pop Village stables. It was definitely quieter and less crowded, the occupants also didn't stare and judge you.

They made a pitstop on the way and grabbed junk food. Sable was having a great time but John was suddenly feeling just that little bit insecure about not having anything prepared in advance.

He was also suddenly very aware of the smell of the smell that the stables had. 

“Are you kidding? I love coming here. This place is so…serene.”

Sable laid back on the hay and sighed contently as she shut her eyes.

John Dory happened to glance up from his food at that moment after taking a bite from the basket of restaurant bread.

Was the lighting from the moon somehow making her glow? Or was that just his brain?

Beautiful.

…

What?

John Dory suddenly stood up in a panic hoping that a distraction would chase away that random thought.

“I got something to show you!” he yelled as she scampered off.

Sable stood up confusedly and followed.

John led her to one of the more enclosed stables.

The only light source was a set of large heat lamps set up over a large container.

Sable hesitated but she looked inside curiously.

Inside were what appeared to be some oddly shaped eggs.

“Those are some unique looking critter eggs. What are they? Buzzer bugs? Golden Beetrievers?”

JD leaned on the edge of the container and smirked.

“Shadow Spiders”

…

Sable took a huge step back with widened eyes.

“Shadow Spiders?!”

“Yup!” 

“As in, those creepy big spiders that have a habit of eating Trolls?”

John Dory just laughed.

“Yup they're the ones!”

“What the…? How are you still alive?!”

“Pfftt I've gone up against way worse than Shadow Spiders before! But these little guys we found all alone.”

“Aw. Poor little…ugh… things”

“We think the mother got eaten by something bigger.”

“Oh joy. Larger predators. What do you want them for?”

“Sooooo, Shadow Spiders stay out of each other's territory. We're thinking if we raise these little guys here then hopefully they'll make this their territory and-”

“-the wild ones won't come near Pop Village!”

“Exactly!”

“That is genius!”

“Thank you, thank you!” he bowed and blew kisses to an imaginary crowd.

“It was your idea?”

“Don’t sound so shocked. I have great ideas.”

“Well, I'm impressed.”

JD's face flushed red.

Sable softly stroked one of the eggs. She exaggerated a shiver from being creeped out.

“You plan on rearing them yourself?”

“No better Troll for the job! …Literally! Would you believe no one else volunteered? 

“Now why wouldn't Trolls line up to bottle feed bloody thirsty Shadow Spiders?!”

“Right?! Not sure how they'll respond to their new Mama being a Troll but hey it'll be fun!”

“I'm sure they'll love their new Mama.”

They both laughed at the absurdity of it.

John Dory introduced Sable to all the critters living at the stables. She had so many questions which JD was happy to answer.

The more Sable engaged with him, the more his insecurities were silenced.

JD was actually having a great time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When it started to get late, JD offered to walk her back to her pod.

The walk back was filled with chatter about their shared interest in critters.

“You know what? This might sound like a silly idea but…I actually have a trained Saddleback Spider. She's mothered quite a few hatchlings. If you needed a docile, mother spider present. So they can learn ‘spider behaviors’. I’d be happy to lend her to you.”

“That’d be perfect! I'll take you up on that!”

Sable pulled up her shawl to cover her shoulders more.

“So what is the verdict, John Dory? Was this a date?”

“I'm not sure yet. Still deciding.”

“I really appreciate you letting me make it up to you and you know what? I ended up having a lot of fun.”

“What? Did you think you wouldn't have fun?”

“I expected that I would ruin the night somehow.”

“Don’t sweat it! You did great!” He gave her two thumbs up.

Sable snort-laughed “I appreciate the feedback.”

They stopped outside Sable's pod in silence for a moment before Sable stuck out her hand.

“Thank you for walking me home.”

John hesitated but then he took her hand.

Sable tried to shake his hand, but he brought her hand to his lips.

He looked into her eyes as he gave her a small peck on her hand.

*Ding*

“Oh! Hug time?” Sable offered.

“You don't have to…”

“Come here.”

Sable pulled him in for a firm hug.

John was taken aback slightly but then hugged her back.

She smells nice.

…

Don't be weird.

Sable pulled back slightly and fluttered her eyes as she realized how close their faces were.

John noticed too.

Kiss her!

John pulled away from the hug abruptly and chuckled awkwardly.

He gave her a friendly punch on her shoulder.

“Goodnight, Sable”

“Goodnight, John Dory”

He watched the pod door close behind Sable as she entered her pod. 

He turned to head home but…

He hesitated.

He turned back to the door and raised his hand to knock.

…

But he didn't.

With a sigh he descended the stairs and started his walk home.

John Dory didn't go straight home to Rhonda. He walked around the village for a while to clear his head.

One thing wouldn't leave his head though.

Sable

She made him feel sick but in a good way?

She was definitely different from how she used to be.

She'd grown into a very attractive Troll.

…

What?

…

Okay, okay so I’m admitting that she's attractive. Any Troll with eyes and half a brain can see that! So what?

Does it mean I'm attracted to her?

…

Sure! I can be attracted to her if I want. Nothing wrong with that.

Doesn't mean I have to do anything about it.

Right?

I can be attracted to someone and not make a big deal about it! It's not like I have to see her again or anything?!

…

Do I want to see her again?

…

Yes I do.

That last thought hit him hard. 

He wanted to see Sable again.

Oh… Muses

I think I'm in

…

…

Trouble!

 -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

*Splash*

What the fuck?

A sudden cold splash of water to the face brought JD out of his sleep.

He found Clay, Bruce and Floyd standing over him.

Death glaring.

“What the? What's the big id…?!”

“SABLE!?!?!?!” they yelled together.

The collective yell caused John Dory to fall out of his loft bed.

He rubbed his head and opened his eyes to a very excited Poppy and Viva, both holding copies of the same magazine.

Oh.

“How come you didn't tell us your date was with SABLE?!” Poppy squealed.

John Dory took one of the magazine copies and held it up to look.

He knew this was gonna happen.

One photo of the two of them at the restaurant, one outside the stables and one outside her pod. And of course, the photos were angled to look a lot more ‘intimate’ than they actually were.

“All the crap you used to give us about not being allowed to date a Sugar Gal!” said Bruce.

“But nooooo, of course John Dory is allowed!” said Clay.

“You threatened to ground us if we ever so much as looked in their direction!” said Bruce.

“The photo of my kiss with Summer? Two months of school then straight home! Yes, I did get a lot of studying done but that's not the point, it's the principle!” said Clay.

“You're right” John tried quietly.

…

…

Clay and Bruce suddenly stopped.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Clay was confused.

“You're right. It wasn't fair that I tried to control who you could date.”

He grabbed a towel and dried the water from his hair.

The other Trolls present looked at each other for answers.

Was he like, sick or something?

He didn't take his eyes off the magazine as he dropped the towel and sat down on the couch.

“Sometimes you can't help who you're attracted to.” he said softly.

He smiled at the photo of him and Sable at hug time. He traced a finger over their picture.

Bruce squatted down in front of John and looked up at John's face.

JD darted his eyes around, trying not to look Bruce in the eye.

“Oh Muses, he's in love!” Bruce stated loudly!

They all gasped. The girls squealed.

“Oh my gosh this is so amazing! Have you told her?!”

“What? No no no no no I'm not in love!”

“This is the same dinner that had you panicking cause you weren't sure if it was a date or not?” Clay frowned.

“Well, yeah? But it wasn't! Sable and I... We went to dinner because we made a truce.”

“Looks like a little bit more than dinner, John.” Floyd smiled slyly as he pointed to the barn photo.

“It's not like that!” JD blushed.

Bruce sighed “Okay, you had your truce dinner. Are you gonna see her again?”

JD avoided eye contact.

“John Dory?”

“I mean…”

Floyd sat down with John and held one of his hands “John, ignore them. Be honest with me. Do you actually like her?

“...Yeah”

“Do you enjoy her company?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Do you want to see her again?”

“Yeah” he sighed.

“What's stopping you?”

“She's so…smart and sophisticated and I'm well…me”

Bruce patted his shoulder “It isn't about your pedigree or how many fancy diplomas you have on your wall. It's about the thought and effort you give to each other.”

“You really think I could do it? I don't even know where to start!”

“Amazinnias!” Viva interrupted.

Everyone looked at her.

“Sables’s favorite flowers. The magazines said so!”

“Chances are that the magazine is very wrong but it's a start!” Floyd said encouragingly.

Floyd and Bruce looked at Clay, silently telling him to try and be encouraging as well.

Clay groaned dramatically then sighed “The chocolatier in town, they keep records of people's choices. You could get Sable's favorites to go with the Amazinnias.”

Poppy jumped excitedly “There we go! You have a plan, JD!”

Floyd “And if you get worried about anything, please talk to us!”

“Go get your girl!” Bruce bumped his shoulder.

John stood up from the couch with determination on his face. He grabbed his goggles and started for the door.

Bruce suddenly grabbed his shoulder “Jonathan Dorian! For the love of all that is Trolly, put pants on first!”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A muffled voice sounded from outside her door “Sable, you have a visitor”

“Send them in.” She tied a bow on her robe as the door opened.

John Dory entered with a sheepish smile, holding a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers.

Sable snort-laughed “Hey! Do you actually watch my performances or do you just wait till they're over to-”

“Last night wasn't a date” He interrupted. He had to say it before his nerves took over.

Sable frowned.

“Okay, you came all the way here to tell me that last night wasn't a date?

“No no no. I came all the way here with chocolates and flowers to tell you last night wasn't a date.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“You are such an odd Troll, John Dory.” Sable turned back to her mirror to remove her stage makeup. 

She eyed his nervous expression in the reflection.

“Last night can't have been a date because, if it was, then that would mean I wouldn't get to make a fool of myself and ask you out on a real one.”

Sable suddenly stopped and turned back to face him. 

JD cleared his throat.

“Sable, do you think you'd wanna go… you know… do an actual date with me?”

Sable stood up slowly and didn't take her eyes away from his.

She softly held the sides of his face, and pulled him down into a soft kiss.

John's eyes shot open and he gasped against her lips. After a moment he completely melted and his eyes slowly closed.

Flowers and chocolates dropped to the floor as his hands hesitantly landed on her hips.

He pulled her closer so they were chest to chest.

Her hands found their way to the back of his head and she softly stroked his hair.

Sable finally pulled back and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs.

She giggled at the goofy lovestruck smile on his face.

John shook the clouds from his head.

“Soooo….Is that a ‘yes’?”

Sable snort-laughed. “Yes, John Dory”

“Yes!” He threw his hands in the air in triumph.

“The last three nights have involved a lot of screaming, attack armadillos, mud and spider eggs. You've set the bar pretty high for yourself. How're you gonna top that?”

“Baby, you haven't seen nothin yet!”

“Baby?” Sable laughed.

“Don't like that? I have others! Toots? Sugar? Sweet Cakes? Princess?”

“What have I gotten myself into?”

“No, I ruined your gifts! I'm sorry!” He dropped down to his knees to pick up the scattered flowers and chocolates.

“It's okay John.”

“No, the chocolates are squished and the flowers are falling apart now…”

Sable gave him a comforting smile.

“Off to a great start aren't I?” he sighed sadly.

“Look, John. The chocolates are still edible and look, I can make potpourri with the petals.”

“Popper what?”

“I'll show you sometime…Stud Muffin.”

That was hot.

Oh John Dory was definitely in… trouble.

And he didn't mind one bit.

[ponchusjbonchus]

i finished hazbin hotel so here is my master collection of all my silly notes

episode 1  

- treat angel dust better and give him actual lines and it’ll be better

- why do the background demons have more variety than the main cast 

- opening number is good 

- when will jesus appear 

- cannibal town is where i wanna live 

- i should keep a swear counter for this 

- charlie is the best character 

- adam shaving down a chicken bone in one bite is really funny 

- i like adam his voice actor is doing really good 

-  all the voice actors are really good. except keith david poor guy

- angel dust sexually harassing husk is not funny

- if adam is a human who sins then why is he in charge of the angel exterminators 

- nifftys commercial bit is funny

- alastors monocle  is on  his mouth in some shots and it’s funny 

- i like the foreshadowing of alastor hating tv 

- lutes design. heart emoji 

- adams song goes hard as fuck. very likeable villain 

- “fuck you i do what i want” contract made me giggle 

- i feel like all the main characters except for charlie and alastor are really one note and it bugs me 

- katie killjoy is still awesome 

- the cliffhanger is really intriguing and i will watch more

final score 8/10 despite the bad dialogue for angel 

episode 2 

intro song is good but the visuals are boring 

what is this cat. who

why is the animation worse in this episode 

paused to read valentino’s texts and the way he sways from calling angel a bitch to calling him babe and being like “don’t be like this” that is like.yeah that’s accurate 

foreshadowing is good 

JESUS APPEARED (sir pentious)

“trust us with your money” 😭

not really resonating with any characters. vox has the best character design so far though 

velvette is really entertaining 

valentino’s voice actor is good and his jokes are somehow better than angels. still a horrible person and i hope he gets exterminated

vox is really interesting and the thing his voice does is cool . i REALLLY wanna like this guy but so far i like adam better 

second time seven years has been mentioned . what happened 

WHILE HE HID IN RADIO WE PIVOTED TO VIDEO NOW HIS MEDIUM IS GETTING BLOODY RARE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️vivienne be damned but the girl can write a song 

alastor fucking with vox after seeing him for seemingly no reason is really funny and in character . though funny it doesn’t really fit into the episode that smoothly 

hell being shaped like a pentagram is creative (side note when i looked up the name for it cuz i couldn’t remember the third result was “what is the star thing called”)

alastors angry demon design looks better than his regular design 

i love sir pentious so much he’s so cute

pentious and charlie are my favorites so far. i know pentious is a double agent but knowing him from the pilot/what we’ve seen in this episode i feel like he’s gonna be dumped by the vees cuz he’s a pathetic wet slop of a man 

the crackhead play joke is really funny 

angel dusts jealousy came out of.Nowhere. like i know charlie was saying like “hey you aren’t really a real resident” and he was mad about the game but it felt more like “ugh i can’t stand these people” not “ugh i wish i could be redeemed and people cared about me.” it was hinted at just not very well 

angel being lovebombed is portrayed.Fine.ly   like it’s realistic but not outstanding . it would mean more if valentino wasn’t making lighthearted jokes about how he kills and manipulates his workers 

pentious’ tail is randomly shrinking and growing 

the camera work in the fight scene is Awful 

pentious :-( 

first time in a while i have heard a show say you should kill yourself NOW 

imagine pentious immediately goes to heaven after the song /silly

final score 8/10 only because of pentious. overall episode is 7/10

episode 3 

pentious still being peak right off the bat. he gets the funniest jokes

alastor still isn’t very funny 

angel dust isn’t funny booooooo boooooooooo

vaggie centric episode? i think? idk i don’t like vaggie she’s kinda boring 

niffty is less funny than she was in previous episodes. she feels more remnant of internet “dark humor” from the time the pilot released 

okay i ended up watching the rest of this one during gym class so i didn’t have my notes. overall this episode was really good except for velvette kinda sucking . 7/10 

episode 4 

this isn’t the poison episode is it.

animation is noticeably worse

vaggies plain ass delivery of the “angel. what the fuck” line made me laugh

i thought the cold open of angel getting r worded would be a way of showing that his life is really fucked up.though it was just a joke bit which i was not expecting

pentious cowering in fear at pornography 

i really like charlie. kk said that she was one note and .i kinda agree but i still love her 

this one demon has a better design then the entire main cast 

angels real name is anthony 😭

okay the dressing room scene . the fear in angels voice through all of it is so jarring and it keeps you invested in the scene and Val being so fuckinh disgusting and evil . how do people like this guy at all. this scene is so creepy not just cuz of val being abusive but because of how horrified Angel is and the moment he asks the bare minimum of val not hurting charlie his life is put on the line. i feel like this was treated with the weight it deserves and it clearly paints val as a villain. unfortunately it’s tainted by the fact that the writers are aroused by this shit but they do a good job of hiding it i guess. maybe this will change 

it bothers me so much that angels head keeps randomly changing in size cuz all the animation is freehand

poison. im gonna be careful and respectful on how i go about talking about this . i actually really like this song and sequence but it’s brought down so bad and made so beyond creepy and horrifying to know that the writers are into this. i like the constant parallel of angel being his porn actor persona who loves sex and his abused reality where he wants to be free. and the scene where he’s dancing in front of a screen with the foxes intercut with his assault is really uncomfortable yeah but i like how it shows that he’s turning his own abuse and exploitation into entertainment . and the line “it’s so hard to resist another gulp!” or however it goes has a nice double meaning . it’s like “ughhh i love sex how could i resist it” but also “i want to resist but im so deep into this that i can’t” . i am not a sexual assault survivor so i don’t feel properly equipped to go into depth about the representation of angels ongoing abuse but from a PURELYcinematic standpoint as someone with a passion for this stuff i feel like this song did well, but again it’s made so much worse and creepier knowing the writers who made this 

the spots under angels eyes are more eyes??.huh

sorry for the lack of notes i am just. genuinely invested in this 

BEST SONG 💥💥💥yeah maybe i knew all the words to this song before i ever watched th show what are you gonna do about it

ohhi don’t really. like the message of that song actually 🙁 it has been established that angel dusts pervertedness and desperation for drugs is not who he really is nor who he likes to be but husk telling him “hey it’s okay to be like that” and angel immediately coming around to it just feels.ehhh…..it feels like he’s taking one step forward and two steps back . i get that the message was supposed to be “embrace the bad parts of yourself! it’s okay to be a loser!” but in the context of the episode it doesn’t fit. good song in a vacuum

iiiidont really know how to feel about this. the episode was great up until loser baby which,is a song that i really like but it kinda does kill the whole episode imo. 5.5/10 unfortunate 

episode 5 

halfway through the series who cheered

adam mention. win (adam and pentious are my favorites )

i hate niffty im sorry 💔 she was better in the pilot

dude. lucifer is so fucking funny right off the bat i love this guy 

is this guy autistic he feels autistic i like him

lucifer is peak character oh my god

why is??? alastor trying to fight lucifer for charlies dad figure??? i don’t understand this guy he just does shit

this is the character norm called out for being a jewish stereotype. and god i can see it jesus 

i love and hate mimzy. she’s ehh

okay nevermind i do kinda get alastors jealousy

i cannot express how good a character lucifer is. he is the funniest part of this show so far by a LOOOONG shot 

pentious does not know what a siege is apparently. honestly fitting 

mimzy served zero purpose dawg i hope this was just an intro and she comes back at some point 

baby charlie ❤️ 

meaning-wise more than anything is the best song we’ve gotten thus far. through the episode i didnt rlly understand lucifer i just thought he was funny but now i get it! and i love it 

this episode was okay. alastor and mimzy take up way too much screen time for barely anything to happen but lucifer was an awesome character and i love him a lot . unfortunately he can’t save this episode though 6/10

episode 5

this yuri tastes like chicken salad but not the good kind 

i despise cherri 

praying that pentious has a role in this one 

white man jumpscare THATS SUPPOSED RO HE SAINY BETER

the seraphims look sick as hell

emmy and charlie have more chemistry than charlie and vaggie im losing it 

why do the angels look exactly like the demons 

saint peter is .Stupid?????

ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JOY

charlie should be in heaven. she doesn’t deserve being in hell

vaggie backstory! hooray this is actually sick as hell 

how did charlie not know that vaggie was a fallen angel if she saw her in uniform ?? wouldn’t she recognize that “hey that’s the outfit angels wear” 

adam is a bitch and i love him so much 

karen joke (awful)

websters dictionary joke (not as awful)

adam struggling to think of words so he writes them down,,,,god i love him so much i know he’s a bad guy and a bad person and a bad. he’s just bad all around but i don’t care i love him so dearly he’s my favorite character i think 

niffty is better in this episode 

WATERBOARDINH 😭😭

emily i love 

“fuck yes!!!” oug or character 

i want pentious to get into heaven. please 

angel being a good father 

the delivery of “hey……….i see the club has a sex room…………” is fucking hilarious and i laughed out loud 

i have laughed more at this episode than i have the entire series pentious is so funny 

valentino. gross

angel standing up to valentino is really nice 

why doesn’t emily have a nose 

why are we having a deep song with emily as soon as we meet her???? i mean it’s technically not her song or sera’s but like. we JUST met them it doesn’t rlly make sense for them to have this big number 

yeah it’s really bothering me that emily has this big number. we barely know these people and they’re treating it like we’ve known her forever WHO IS THIS GIRL

if hell is forever then heaven must be a lie 💥💥

I CANT THID RUCKING FACE 

i hate this episode a lot more the writing is worse 

okay. the writing is noticeably worse than the rest of the series in this episode the pacing is completely fucked. at least we get some adam content and vaggie lore but vaggie isn’t rlly a character i enjoy. however the humor is peak in this episode and pentious really carries it with his running bit. he can’t save much of the episode sadly. 4.5/10 

episode 7

the more i watch the intro i really don’t like it . it’s so boring 

pentious petting keykey 

i dont like alastor  bad character bad character whenever he’s on screen i want to kick something 

cannibal town ‼️‼️

awwwwwi love rosie. she’s like mimzy but better and more likeable 

i wanna make a cannibal oc. if i were in this version of hell i would wanna be a cannibal. this whole area makes me happy 

rosie didn’t swear ONCE in her opening scene im so proud of the writers 

i really like carmilla’s design and her stupid nsr hands 

if helluva boss is in the same universe as this one then why don’t they go through extermination ??? or is that like. an au

rosie is so cute i love her so much. 

susan is such an underwhelming name that’s so funny 

this episode is much better 

i know that this show doesn’t have the best writing but it’s honestly just a fun watch

out for love is the best number we’ve had so far 

carmilla walks around in steel ballet shoes all the time i gotta respect the woman 

rosie’s first swear came 2/3rds into the episode. new record 

i relate to charlie 

I LOVE ROSIE.SO MUCH uuhg$hd,s

charlie’s song is really nice 

the cannibals are the best part of the show. easily 

SHE GOT SUSAN 🔥🔥

vaggie getting her wings back . i love 

this is easily the best episode so far. both musical numbers were great and vaggie and charlie being apart and their stories being intercut only for them to come together at the end was amazing. cannibal town is absolutely amazing and perfect and there was a noticeably less amount of swearing. 9/10, praying that  the finale is this good too 

episode 8 (finale)

is this technically just a part 2 to episode 7 

PENTIOUS DRESSED LIKE A GENERAL.AW

i love vox he’s so goofy . i wish he appeared more 

charlie’s message is really nice i love her a lot but it was kinda ruined by niffty

cherri makes everything worse 

angel dust’s development is nice 

pentious being forced into a hetero love with cherri,,,blehh this is the most aroace guy ive ever seen 

mini more than anything reprise with charlie and vaggie is really sweet . 

ADAM 💥💥💥SICK ASS NEW OUTFIT BRO 

adam is still the best character in this show. “chill lute fuck” i adore alex brightman 

the battle outfits are cool 

alastor finally doing something helpful 

gyat DAMN adam. awooga 

vox’s stupid dance 

alastor saying nuh uh to the person trying to murder him is funny

i don’t want to kin adam but i Do. i Do he’s Awesome

while it interrupts the action vox watching and cheering as alastor nearly dies is super funny 

okay Actually dies then

i am enjoying this so much 

SIR PENTIOUS CLUTCH 💥💥

adam is the best character in the whole fuckinh show him oneshotting pentious is hilarious . i know he goes to heaven and doesn’t rlly die i think 

what happened to the angels fighting with reckless abandon??vaggie is getting her shit rocked

GET FUCKED LUTE

ewww adam is a white guy.ew put the mask back on 

lucifer and adam interaction this is just peak

why aren’t the angels going after the rest of hell once they realize that they’re screwed 

adam without the mask is fugly

HE .HE DIES ??WHAY YHE FUCK

the hotel:(

“the ultimate sacrifice” i love pentious a lot but HE DIDNT DO SHIT BRO 😭

i choose to believe that lilith divorced lucifer because lucifer was a gay man and she was a lesbian

why is cherri a main character now i dony. ew

alastor is alive ! boo

bro thinks he’s jack skeleton 

husk being mad when he sees that alastor is alive is funny 

WHAT THE FUCK 

VOX GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HIM

sir pentious gets into heaven :) thaht makes me happy 

season finale! this was a phenomenal episode to end of a good series, though ill be real i don’t know if having a second season is a good idea. most if not all of the conflicts are resolved among the main cast. ending it off with pentious getting into heaven is amazing though. episode is a 9/10 it was funny and engaging and really fun all around.

overall score for the series is a 7.5/10 i really enjoyed it 

[novanescence]

FALLEN STAR

CHAPTER 1.

Rin and Yui rediscover themselves after a fatal injury forcing him to let go of his dreams and go back to Japan: a journey full of grief and sympathy towards others and themselves.

Itoshi Rin x Hoshi Yui (Fem OC)

cw. descriptions of overstimulating environment, mentions of fights, language

// masterlist

I tugged on Tenko’s little hand as I showed the revisor our tickets to get to our seats.

“Someday they will be all cheering for Hoshi Tenko, the upcoming young star of Japan!!”

He had been saying stuff like that for the past two years when, one fateful day he happened to fall sick, mom took him with her to fetch me from school and saw that annoying classmate of mine practicing soccer with his stupid brother. Said they were ‘so cool!’.

I’ve despised soccer since I met him, but Tenko’s puppy eyes begging me to play with him had been almost therapeutic. Honestly, I’ve grown to like it, at least enough to tolerate taking him with me to his very first live Official Match.

I still don’t get why Mom and Dad made that face when I told them about this new soccer project called Blue Lock and my plan of gifting Tenko a ticket for his 8th Birthday. It’s now, when we already got to the bleachers, that I think I get it: they probably thought it would be overstimulating.

Well, it is, but I happen to be a really thick-headed girl and he seems to be overjoyed, so… I’ll make it. If not for my shitty pride then for Tenko’s sake. He said it was the best thing I’ve ever done for him… Liar.  

For how long am I supposed to stay here, I don’t know. But if I know something for sure it’s that, given the look of his eyes, I better be getting used to it. He’s a fucking freak just like Rin was when we were kids. Ugh, just thinking about him makes me wince… Stupid fucking asshole… The only thing left for me to do is just pray Tenko doesn’t turn out as fucking sick as he did… At least he’s not gonna be a sheltered little brother. It’s been months already… why can’t I seem to get him out of my head? That cold bastard.

Taking a deep breath and resting my head on Tenko’s little shoulder sounds like my only option right now.

“Yui?”

“Mhm?”

“You okay? Want a hug?” What was I even thinking? This sweet kid could never be as much of a freak as that Itoshi bastard.

“Yeah…” I can never hold back the soft smile that grows on my face when he says that… Offering him a hug when he was a crybaby little kid stuck to him badly. “Just mildly suffocated, it’s fine, I can manage for now.”

“Mhm…  If you say so, sis…”

“Just let me stay here for a bit, yeah?” Nuzzling onto his shoulder with my eyes closed I try to ignore how badly I want to leave and go home to hide under my blankets and blast music into my brain. Suddenly everything feels heavier than before. The cheers of the crowd, the phones ringing, the camera clicks, the blindest white lights you could imagine, the whistles, the fucking asshole on my side acting like he owns my seat, the suffocating air full of other people’s breath, the awful stink of humanity… Take a deep breath, Yui, you're the responsible adult today.

"Look, look! They are about to start!"

It was a hard task already, to just sit there for about two whole hours, but watching him there warming up, pulling his hair away to freshen up with a wet towel, closing his eyes in the softest way possible as he drinks from his water bottle with an owl sticker on it made it worse. It had to be him, there was no fucking doubt: it was him.

The conscious thought of being aware that Itoshi Rin, the boy who stopped attending school abruptly from one day to another, was down there being captain of the new soccer project ‘Blue Lock’, was too much for me to handle. I don’t know how long it has been since I noticed him, and I can’t tell if my blood is boiling or all frozen up. I just know that suddenly the lights, the sounds, and the awful smell stopped mattering when I saw him. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve felt thankful that I just noticed him, a part of me shaking in fear in case he happened to see me from the start, the other one crossing my face for being so delusional as if he’d pay attention to some ‘random lukewarm’ on the bleachers.

With a trembling hand, I didn’t know if it was because of nerves or because of the pure rage I felt just from seeing him, I tried reaching Tenko, who was too caught up gaping at the new soccer promises to notice me suddenly going still and looking for his hand. Just a kid, Yui, he’s just a kid, let him have this.

“Yui! I’m so excited!! Thanks for coming here with me. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Turning around to look at me with one of his cheeky smiles brimming with joy, I can’t help but attempt to smile back, squeezing his hand in mine. “Uh-huh...”

The first half was tough, but I could make up my mind after the break. We went to the restroom before, and there, I remembered that we came here with masks and caps, in case we needed them. I felt so much safer and comfortable going back to the bleachers with my face a bit more hidden, and I had time to make up my mind about what was happening to me and how that made me feel. The second half of the match started already, and seeing him play down there didn't hurt that much now.

I've always been aware that he was a great player, and that he could and would achieve big things. He had always been aloof and kinda spacey, but he also was a dedicated and perseverant kid. Always aiming for perfection not only in him but in others too, maybe that's why he didn't have many friends, because he thought they were not perfect enough to bother. I can't say I don't understand him now, because I do, deep down I've always been like that too. The difference is I didn’t enjoy being alone, thus making me learn to either lower my standards or just lie to myself hanging around others. Maybe he hated me because of that, for acting all pushy and demanding while trying to shield myself, for hating him for doing what I never was able to, for accusing him of lacking an actual personality when I didn’t either. But I get that now. I still hate him, tho. Disrespectful bastard…

I had been too caught up in memories and rumination I didn’t even know what was going on with the match, I came back to earth when Tenko shook my arm harshly and pointed towards the field with the same shine on his eyes he got when he saw the Itoshi brothers training at my school that day. And just when I thought I was finally able to feel an ounce of inner peace, I saw it. 

And I could never forget that look: the wide eyes, his slightly opened mouth, the intense air that flowed around him, the drool slipping away from his lips…

He has always been like that, like a fucking prodigy you couldn’t look in the eyes afraid he would make you feel tiny with how majestic he was. Some would say they could hear his engines turning. If you were to question me about my first impression, tho, I’d say he had a problem, like, an engine problem. And honestly, if you were to inquire about our high school days, my response would likely remain unchanged, except it wouldn’t be entirely honest, that I can say... I already knew he was a genius around that time, and I was convinced that’s what made me loathe him so much.

If you asked me right now, I wouldn’t be able to give a proper answer. I would probably freeze all over, unable to. I’ve always thought I was a self-assured person, really mature and level-headed. Until he made me realize I was just as scared and lonely as a kid when he looked at me like that for the first time. When I pushed his buttons unaware of what I was getting myself roped into.

I could never forget that chaotic look of pure hatred and need to destroy, like a wild animal that’s been watching over their prey for a couple of sleepless nights that finally found the perfect moment to pounce. And I’d like to blame it on him and say he made me feel tiny and scared, but the truth is he didn’t intimidate me. I’m self-aware enough now to admit I wasn’t scared of him but the version I was of myself. Of how that made me feel, and how that obvious power showcase made me realize I had been lying to myself for years.

Maybe he wasn’t so bad if he was able to notice everything that was wrong with me by then and still never weaponized any of it. Until that afternoon, yes, but I take the blame for that.  After all, it was a dumb decision to bring him out that day.

“Yui! The captain is going nuts!” I couldn’t hold back the snort that came out of me when I heard Tenko blurting that. That little guy has a way with words…

“He’s disgusting.” With a roll of his eyes, he takes out his tongue cheekily and says it’s not like that.

Yeah, whatever.

Don’t engage in arguing with a little soccer-obsessed kid: you’ll lose.

[meganwritesfanfics]

Clandestine Meetings (Joel Miller x Reader) Chapter 5

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Joel Miller x Reader

Joel has tried his best to stay away from Y/N, but it seems the universe has other plans. When he runs into her on the street, the two confront their feelings and everything gets a lot more complicated.

Word Count: 1735

Rating M: For later chapters, angst, discussion of DV. Talk of injuries.

It was a good week or so  before Joel saw Y/N again. Soon after the bomb incident, he and Tess had gone out to get supplies to trade. They usually didn’t stay away for more than a couple days, however even when they got back, Joel made it a point to only pick jobs at times when he didn’t think Y/N would show up. He felt guilty about the way he had treated her, however he knew Tess and Tommy were right. The feelings he had for Y/N, whatever they may have been were dangerous, not only for himself and the people around him but also for Y/N. He knew that her shit husband hurt her, and he didn’t want to be the cause of making it even worse. And so Joel’s world had fallen back into the colorless routine it had been before. 

That was why when he had accidentally ran into her on the street, it had taken him by surprise. But what took him even more by surprise and what caused his entire body to vibrate with rage were the bruises that littered her face and neck. She had a black eye, a busted lip, and what looked like finger bruises from where someone had gripped her neck tightly. 

The minute he laid eyes on this, he roughly grabbed her by her shoulders, turning her so she was looking at him, taking her completely by surprise. 

“Who the fuck did this to you.” He snarled his eyes darting between each bruise. 

“Joel?” Y/N asked shocked. 

“Was it that fucking husband of yours,” Joel continued. “I’ll fucking kill him.” 

Suddenly Y/N pushed Joel back hard snapping him out of his rage. 

“Why the fuck do you care.” Y/N snapped. “A few days ago you wanted nothing to fucking do with me, and now you are going to commit murder for me?” 

“Y/N,” Joel sighed as he looked around to make sure that no one was watching them. 

“No, Joel, when I had come back I was going to ask you… I thought you…” Y/N groaned, “Ugh forget it, listen I get it, I’m a pain in your ass right, I cause problems right, I waste your precious fucking time right!” She screamed and her screams were starting to grab peoples attention. 

Quickly Joel grabbed her hand and dragged her into a near by ally. As much as she protested and fought him. 

“Y/N,” He said calmly but still she fought him. “Y/N!” He shouted as he gently took her face in his hands and she instantly went quite. “Listen to me, I had meant what I said before, if anyone hurts you, especially your husband, I want you, no I need you to come to me, I will take care of it.” 

Y/N reached up and wrapped her hands around Joel’s wrists as she sighed. 

“I can’t keep up with your mood swings Joel.” She said quietly all the anger fading into sadness. “One moment you are nice and boarderline sweet and the next you are an absolute dick.” 

Joel dropped his hands and took a step back as he looked at the ground. 

“I’m sorry about before I… things are complicated.”

“Of course things are complicated, the world is fucked Joel. But I thought maybe I had found someone who made things just a little less complicated, someone who made things make some sort of sense. But I guess I was wrong.”  Joel could see tears welling up in her eyes. “I better go, and don’t worry I will stay out of your life Joel.” 

“Wait,” Joel reached out and grabbed her wrist and when he did she let out a loud cry. He instantly let go. 

“I’m sorry, it’s… I fell the other day and…” 

“You know you can cut the bullshit with me.” Joel instantly replied and Y/N just looked up at him her eyes filled with an awful sadness and yearning. “Can I see it?” 

Y/N hesitated for a moment before she walked forward and lifted her long sleeves so he could see her swollen and bruises wrist. 

He seethed as he gingerly took her hand in his. 

“It’s fine, I think it is only fractured.” She said and Joel’s head snapped up his eyes filled with rage. 

“It is sure as shit not fine.” 

“Well unfortunately it just is what it is.” She sighed as she took her hand out of his and pulled down her sleeve again. 

“It doesn’t have to me.” Joel took a step closer towards her. 

“I don’t really have another choice, if I leave, either he will kill me or he will send F.E.D.R.A. to do it.” 

“I could kill him.” 

“And then F.E.D.R.A. would kill you, not going to happen.” She snapped as she leaned up against the brick wall. 

“Why are you with him?” Joel asked surprised at himself for the asking such a question. 

Y/N couldn’t help but smirk sadly. “That is a story for another time cowboy.” 

Joel made his way towards her putting one hand on the wall and leaned in closer to her. 

“I’m sorry about what I said, I didn’t mean it. It’s just, I don’t think it is a good idea for you and I to hang around each other.” 

“You afraid I’m going to get you roped into trouble Miller,” Y/N smirked a smile finally creeping its way back onto her face. 

“It’s not just myself I’m worried about its Tess and…”

“Tommy?” She interrupted. Joel gave her an inquisitive look. “One upside to having a husband who works for F.E.D.R.A, I can get access to everyones files. How do you think I know so much about everyone.” 

“You looked me up darlin’’?” Joel smirked inching even closer to Y/N. 

“Oh I had to, with the dark and stormy aura you give off,  I had to see what you were all about.” 

They were silent for a moment, the space between them was growing smaller with each passing second. 

“But you are right, it might be better if we just keep our separate ways. I don’t want to get you in trouble. And Tommy’s in enough shit as it is.” 

Joel’s blood ran cold. And Y/N watched as Joel’s face fell and his eyes went wide with fear. 

“Don’t worry F.E.D.R.A doesn’t know. But hell that boy does not do a good job hiding it, I could spot him from a mile away. You need to tell him to watch his back.” 

Joel just nodded, his thoughts wandering off to nightmare he had about Tommy getting caught or killed. He could feel his chest start to tighten up and his vision start to blur. 

“Joel,” Y/N called as she saw his demenor change. But to him her voice sounded far off, it echoed like she was in a tunnel. “Joel?” She called again as she placed her hand gently on his cheek. With her touch he steadied his vision righted itself and the tightness in his chest lessened. “Where did you go?” 

In that moment, standing so close to her, her hand on his cheek, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to pull her in close to him and never let her go. His rational mind kept telling him what a bad idea that was, how many things could go wrong. But he didn’t care he just kept pushing those thoughts away. That was until he thought about Sarah, and the ever familiar constant pain he felt flared up again. He couldn’t feel that pain again, not in any capacity. And it was too risky to open his heart up again. Especially since Y/N didn’t seem like she had any plans to leave her abusive huband. 

Clearing his throat,  Joel backed  up crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“So what are we going to do?” He asked. 

“About what?” She said hurt at his distance. 

“About us?”

“Is there an us?” 

“I mean… I don’t want to not help you when you need it. But I also got to think about keeping Tess and Tommy safe.”

“Yeah,” She looked down at her feet sadly. 

“And I like being around you.” 

“I like being around you too.” 

“Is there anyway I can get you to just keep your head down and try not to cause problems?”  

“Not a chance.” Y/N snapped her head up to look back at him. 

Joel sighed sadly. “That’s what I thought.” 

They stood silent for a few moments, and Y/N could feel herself starting to get choked up. 

“So I guess that’s it.” Y/N said. 

“Y/N…” 

“Well, it was nice knowing you Joel Miller. I hope you have a good life, I mean, as good as any of us can hope for in this shit storm.” Y/N started to walk away and Joel stayed behind watching her. 

She hadn’t even made it out of the ally before she stopped. “Oh fuck it.” She mumbled under her breath as she turned and marched back to Joel. 

“Y/N?” Joel asked confused. 

“Kiss me.” She snapped and Joel froze. 

“Wha…” 

“There is this feeling between us, and I hope to God you feel it to, but it feels so different than anything I have felt in a while. I can’t explain it but when I am with you, things feel better. It’s almost like you bring color…” She started when Joel quickly pulled her into him and kissed her. 

The spark that he felt in his stomach when their lips met, sent goosebumps all over his skin. This kiss wasn’t just a normal run of the mill kiss, this was something more. It made his chest tighten but not in a bad way. And when he felt her open her mouth slightly and he deepend the kiss, he thought his heart was going to explode. 

They broke away only to breath, and when they look at each other they both smiled, Joel’s hands on her face, his thumb rubbing her cheeks. 

“Not bad cowboy.” She smirked. 

“Oh I’m just getting started darlin’ “ Joel growled seductively as he kissed her again, pushing her back into the brick wall.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

[steve-brules-rules]

I would like to ramble about Dasein and the ending of Novus now that I’ve had time to digest the ending, because I LOVED IT. Spoilers for the very end of Novus below the break, obviously lol

My poor baby boy. I did not expect Dasein to actually *fuckin kill* the manticore. It was SO satisfying (also satisfying after I spent about an hour soloing it with no prep and teaching myself how to do it lolol). But you can tell he’s just so completely frustrated at that point. Like after everyone has been exploiting him, he tries to find a solution through the manticore. He’s still too naive to fully understand how talking to the manticore is a bad idea. He doesn’t realize that until it’s almost too late and he needs the wizard to help again. He’s definitely frustrated at both himself and everyone else. I think he’s also frustrated at the wizard for their disagreement on how to resolve things.

And I think he’s disappointed in the wizard because he’s kinda had this illusion about them shattered. He obviously knows they’ve been physically kicking asses at every point along the way, but now he’s seen that they’ll ignore him to do things their way. This is obviously because they know better than him how people like Mario and Rottingham work and it’s kiiiiinda a emergency with the four major spiral powers going to war, but it’s still gotta be so awful to see how you’ve tried so hard to be peaceful, and it’s *just not working.* Ugh. :(

Id argue he’s also disappointed in himself. He’s exhausted, burnt out, and now he’s feeling resentful too. He’s probably feeling a lot of guilt for feeling frustration and resentment. He’s probably really conflicted about the wizard. At least, that’s what I’d be feeling.

Just. The fact that he reached a breaking point like that, after it feels like he’s so lost, and nobody wants to help him the way he needs. Even the wizard.

Im really wishing the devs did more at this point to expand how dialogue is delivered in this game. It’s clear they want to make things more complex, more involved, and I really think the current system is holding it back. I want to see what the wizard is thinking and saying. I want to see a choice-based response system with consequences for those responses. I’m so so mad that I couldn’t control my wizard’s responses more because I wanted to be a lot more compassionate to Dasein than I was allowed to be. This system worked great in places like arc 1/2 because who cares, we’re all on the same page with waking up the emperor of mooshu and freeing he manders and stomping both mali and morganthe. But now things are more nuanced. Do people agree with the idealistic Dasein, or with the worldly and jaded spiral superpowers? How do people respond to Mario’s accusations of not having any business meddling in the affairs of the spiral when they’re not even native to the spiral? AARRGHHHHH I just wanna delve into this more and I can’t and it’s frustrating to feel like there are multiple ways to respond and I’m locked into one path when this should be a wizard guided by a better moral compass than what we see. So many things are just so confusing, like not disobeying Rottingham more or trying to argue against him. Or even trying to respond to his insults. The wizard has definitely been called worse, but I don’t remember another npc as ungrateful as the superpower representatives on Novus. And i think it warrants a different response from the wizard. I’m really scratching my head at how they can respond the way they do, with everything they know and Dasein supposedly being their trusted friend (or significant other, in Ryan’s case LOL).

Anyway I’m really looking forward to seeing how wallaru goes. This is still my fav arc so far because of how it hits so close to home and strikes such a raw nerve for me. I’ve felt SO MUCH because of it, both good and bad. I’ve been frustrated by story delivery mechanics, but it’s still so beautiful to see this story the devs have written. They still hit it out of the park on this one.

And I hope that any devs who are on tumblr see this, because I really want them to know that this arc has meant so much to me personally and it’s been extremely impactful. In the many many years I’ve been playing, no other arc or story in wiz has moved me so deeply and hit so close to home. I’ve finally gotten motivated to get back on top of the game and not just lagging behind by a few worlds. This has been amazing, and I can’t wait to see what the next arc is like.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Kazuki, Rei, and Kyutarou with a super sweet s/o losing it when she hears someone badmouthing or hurting them?

Buddy Daddy Boys + Protective S/O

Kazuki

He was too good natured for his own good sometimes.

Sure he’s a contract killer, but he wants to see the good in people too. Give them the benefit of the doubt. When someone is being rude or mean to him, he just tries to brush it off and keep going.

Which is a little hard to do when someone has his collar in their fist.

“Come on man. Relax. It’s just a game.”

“You owe me money!” The hulk of a man yelled in his face, as he demanded the money back from the bet he just lost. And for some reason blamed Kazuki for.

“I can’t really give you any money if you’re holding me here. Plus, I just lost all my cash too. Why don’t we use my last buck to grab a beer and drown our sorrows.”

“I don’t want a beer!” The blonde’s natural charms not working on him. “I want my money! Either you give it to me or I’m gonna take it out on your face.”

‘Aw geez….’ He really didn’t want to resort to violence in his favorite casino. He’d like to come back some day.

“Hey!” The two men look over the hulk’s shoulder at s/o standing there. “Put him down now.”

The man growled. “Or what?!”

“Or you’re about to feel what 800 volts feels like on your asshole.” An ominous chatter from their pocket taser, poised just at the brute’s backside, sounded. Letting him know that he might get one hit, but he wasn’t going to get another.

The man grit his teeth, realizing he’d rather not get intimate with their taser, and roughly let Kazuki down before stalking off. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes I did.” S/O argued. “You refuse to stand up for yourself. So I have to do it for you.”

“By threatening a man with a taser?”

“When the situation allows.” Kazuki smirked at their reply as they put the taser away. “Let’s go. I think your luck has run dry.”

“Yeah sure.” He agreed. And for once, left before he was completely penniless this time.

Rei

Unlike Kazuki, Rei never sees the good in people.

He always assumes that people are selfish, horrible, mean bastards who are only out for themselves. His childhood taught him that.

Because of this he’s never surprised when people act bad or cruelly to him. He just takes it and keeps it in before letting it go. His childhood taught him that too.

“Excuse me.” Rei glanced to his left when he realized [Y/N] was standing there. Her face scrunch in a fussy brow as they confronted the laughing group of teens that just cut in front of him. “The line is back that way.”

“Oh come on.” One of the teens replied, shrugging them off. “It’s not a big deal. We’ll all get to the front of the line eventually. No reason to make a scene.”

“But….controller…..” Rei muttered under his breath. There were two things that would willingly get him out of the house for the day: work and the release of the new Morio Kart: Race Across the Universe game. To promote it, the store was also giving away a commemorative controller with each new game purchaser for the first 100 buyers. Rei had gotten up early and been standing in line all day for the sale to start. Only to have these kids jump the line and mess up his precise count.

“There won’t be a scene if you just go to the back of the line.” [Y/N] told them.

“Ugh. God. Chill out ok. I’m just getting this stupid new game for my brother. We were just late because we were studying for finals. Our education is important.” The one and only girl in the pack whined.

“And yet you haven’t learned anything.”

The girl, with way too much makeup on in Rei’s opinion, frowned; making the creases in her makeup worse. “Listen, lady. I need to get this game for my kid brother or my parents will be pissed. Besides, aren’t you a little old to be interested in games like this?”

“Are you a little old to not know how lines work? Or color matching for that matter?”

The girl looked ready to boil, but then stormed off in a huff instead. The boys, who apparently were as dumb as they looked, didn’t know what to do so they just took off after her. Getting out of the line and letting Rei resume his properly counted place. “Thank you.”

“For what? I just can’t stand rude people.” Still, Rei smiled just a little at her and the line continued.

They each bought a copy of the game. Rei promised to pay her back, but he really wanted two controllers for him and Miri. Of course, [Y/N] couldn’t say no. “Next time someone cuts in front of you in line, why don’t you hip check them into the bushes.”

“My hips aren’t big enough for that.”

Kyutarou

Owning a bar was a lot of work. People often stayed away, since it was more off the beaten path, but every now and then he’d get a crowd looking for that and be packed. Kyutaro tried his best to maintain, as the only bartender, and was very grateful he had a supportive significant other willing to pitch in and play waitress when need be.

“Hey! Barkeep! More beer!”

Kyutaro sighed as he settled up the tab of one of the customers, before going over to the drunk patron at the end of the bar. “I think you’ve had enough sir. Why don’t I get you a complimentary coffee while I settle your bill.”

“Coffee?? Who the hell wants coffee? I drink enough of that crap at work.” The drunk pounded down what was left in his glass and slammed it down on the bar. “If off the clock. I want beer!”

“I’m not giving you anymore.”

The bar fly glared at him (or as much as they could with how drunk they were). “Listen four-eyes!” Kyutaro was taken aback. Not only was it rude, but no one had called him ‘four eyes’ since grade 3. “I said I want more beer and you’re gonna give it to me! I got money. You got beer. What’s the problem?!”

“Besides you’re completely sauced?”

The men look up at [Y/N]. Tray of empty glassware in one hand and the other on her hip. “Come on man. Time to call it a night before this gets any uglier. You’re not gonna talk to the owner like that.”

“Oh yeah?!” The man tried to get up off his bar stool. He did, but with legs about as shaky as a new born deer. “I’ll…talk to whoever I want however I want. You’re not gonna stop me!”

[Y/N] huffed and sat their tray down. “Look,” she told him, “either you can leave on your feet or leave on your ass. Pay your bill like a man and go. Otherwise, I’m gonna throw you out of here like a cartoon character. Ever literally been thrown out of a bar? There’s no coming back from that.”

Despite his brain being pickled, the man seemed to realize that this wasn’t a good idea and surrendered. Although loudly as he continued to grumble as he pulled out some cash, threw it on the bar, and wobbled his way out. “Think he’ll be ok?”

“Who cares?” [Y/N] replied as they counted out the bills. “After that four-eyes crack he can getbuddy his by a cab for all I know.”

“That’s rather cruel.” Despite this, Kyutaro still chuckled at the remark.

“So,” [Y/N] said as they looked up at him through their lashes. “I like your glasses. He shouldn’t have made fun of them.”

Kyutaro smirked and started cleaning the glasses she’d just brought over. “Well, thank you. And thank you for your help.”

[broodwolf221]

sera meta!

i love her soooo much - if not for solas, she'd be hands-down my favorite character from inquisition. so it's long past time i did a meta post for her <3

this is gonna be long and i added a lot of her relevant dialogue to it

meta overview: sera is young, traumatized, has deep-seated internalized racism, and has never had an opportunity to be vulnerable or to safely express herself. she's also autistic af imo

part 1: her past

she was presumably born into an alienage, and as @skip-the-clumsy-dragon reminded me recently, city elves are expected to get married and have children. this is a realistic thing for them to prioritize (and dalish likely have the same priority) given the fact that they're an endangered culture. however, sera's a lesbian - to grow up in a society that tells her that she has to marry an elven man and have his children would've been incredibly ostracizing to her. the elves made her feel broken, directly or indirectly, and i think that's something a lot of queer people can relate to.

while only the last part is related, this bit of banter between her and solas is interesting in terms of her being a lesbian:

Sera: (shivers) Weird. Solas: Sera? What are you feeling? Sera: Ugh, here we go. It’s nothing, it just feels like I've seen this. Exactly this. It happens. Solas: Not to everyone. Sera: It’s not an elf thing. You’re not shaking. Sera: I suppose now you’ll switch to how I’m the same but different? Solas: You are different. You are the furthest from what you were meant to be. Sera: Well I’ve definitely heard piss like this before. Hmph!

she was adopted by the lady emmald, which looks fine at first, but as we're shown during the cookie scene, emmald didn't really care about sera. more than likely, she cared about what sera could do for her (a sort of live-in, unpaid servant in a child who she 'saved' from the streets) and the social esteem she'd get for 'rescuing' a 'poor elf' - lady emmald was the racist one, and the user, not the baker she blamed

Sera: I got caught stealing when I was little, yeah? You get alienage or worse for that, but the “Lady Emmald” took me in. She was sick and couldn’t have children. I had no parents. It worked out. Anyway, she gets a year sicker, so I ask about her cookies. Because mums make cookies. I can pass that down, or something. Turns out, she couldn’t cook. She missed that talk with her mum. The ones she “made” she bought and pretended. Aw, right? Well, no, she was a bitch. She hid buying them by keeping me away from the baker. She did that by lying that he didn’t like me, didn’t like elves. She let me hate so she could protect her pride. I hated him so much, and I hated… She looks away again. Sera: Well, she died, and I hate pride. “Pride cookies.”

"I hated him so much, and I hated... [being an elf]" is the obvious conclusion. and again, it makes sense - her people wanted her to play a role she couldn't, and wouldn't, play - and her adoptive mother allowed her to hate and hate so that she could protect her own pride.

Inquisitor: I don’t understand. This Lady Emmald was just trying to be good to you. Sera: She hurt people. Inquisitor: It was just cookies. Sera: It was not just cookies! Lie to herself? Fair play, only hurts her. But she made me think there was something wrong with me! And the baker! I made his life shit. Why not? It seemed like he deserved it. I mean, “if you don’t give a child a cookie because of appearances, you’re a monster.” Stupid, pride-whore noble. She pauses. Sera: I know, I said it was stupid. That’s why I want to get rid of it. I want to make better cookies.

she keeps calling herself stupid. she's angry and hurting and trying to be vulnerable, and when her vulnerability isn't supported she immediately resorts to calling herself stupid, making her feelings smaller, insulting herself before she can be insulted by the inquisitor, someone she's grown close to

Inquisitor: It is stupid. You dragged me here to bad-mouth a sad, dead woman. Sera: It’s not about that. Feelings are hard, all right? Inquisitor: Not for an adult! Sera: Bullshit! And I’m trying to say I like it here! I thought you’d want to know that, and eat my shitty cookies! / Sera: I just thought you’d want to know that I think you’re pretty great! That I made you shitty cookies!

"not for an adult" - sera is by far the youngest companion. and she's never had the opportunity to even begin unpacking her own trauma, until maybe haven/skyhold, depending on how your inquisitor treats her. but she is still an adult, and while this argument shows a lot of her feelings, it was really hard to even read thru 💀

part 2: red jenny

after emmald, she ended up on the streets again. she was taken in by the red jennies. by this point she has personal cause to dislike elves and elven culture, and to dislike nobles - but she doesn't really hate humans, which is understandable considering that she's surrounded by them. she sees that they get treated like shit sometimes, too. her alliances are not and have never been along racial lines, but class divisions: she looks out for the "little people", which in her case means the poor, the unhoused, or those in servitude.

the fact that she doesn't live in the alienage means she's surrounded by human faith. i've discussed this before in prior metas, but in thedas, andrastianism or however it'd be spelled is likely not optional - it's presumed and absolute. christianity was like this too, in medieval times, the church was the core of cities and everyone was expected to be faithful. theres' an immense sociocultural pressure towards religious conformity that everyone is exposed to even if they don't personally go to the church/pray/etc. - it's just baked into the culture. the chant is everywhere. and people internalize stuff they're surrounded by, that's natural

so she's out here angry, bitter, finally able to be 'just' sera with the jennies, not expected to breed for them or to take their shit, allowed to be exactly who she is... and at the same time, she's immersed in chantry culture. she wants a parent, she wants someone who cares for her no matter what. she keeps hearing that it's andraste and the maker who will care for her.

Inquisitor: Odd that you’d ask Andraste over your own gods. Sera: “My” gods? Whatever. They don’t talk any more than she does. Not like she’s supposed to. I know what happened to you, or what everyone here thinks happened. It seems… I don’t know what it seems.

part 3: her behavior

she's outwardly callous and irreverent a lot of the time, but that stems from a mix of things, primarily: humor as a coping mechanism and having seen so much shit in her life. she talks about food a lot, but this bit of banter with blackwall explains why really clearly:

Sera: Hey, do you think they'll have pie when we get back? I could use a pie. Or three. Blackwall: That's... a lot of pie for one person. Sera: You'd understand if you've ever been hungry. In your bones hungry.

she also has a really grounded view of mages. it's not perfect, she's very afraid of magic - as she's been taught to be. i think people get caught up in the mage freedom angles the games have been showing us and forget that within the games context, mages are fucking scary and people are scared of them. i'm staunchly pro-mage, but it's useless to ignore the context they exist within

Sera: I knew a funny boy in Denerim. Started fires with his eyes. Templars nabbed him right quick, so he's better now, I guess? Dorian: Better? Do you know what your southern Circles are like? Sera: Meals and training? So he wouldn't starve or get stomped by a mob? I've seen both. Dorian: (Sighs.) You're sadly right.

circles are bad but also? she's right. training, room and board... when it's living in a circle vs. being killed on the street, i think most people would choose the former, even with all the inherent difficulties and the oppression of it, the abuses by the templars, all of it. because at least you're alive. and the training is important. it's all kinds of wrong the way it's structured, but mages do need training, there's no denying that - even in cultures that don't lock up their mages, they still need to test them, to train them

and she has a very practical, very grounded perspective on nobles and who would suffer in a massive revolution. when solas starts recommending guerilla warfare tactics to her, she shuts him down - not because his ideas are wrong, but because she can see ahead to all the harm it'd cause the exact people she's trying to protect

Solas: Once you have the aristocracy weakened, Sera, you will have to redirect your lieutenants. Sera: Oh, this again. All right, what am I doing? Solas: Some of your forces, valuable until now, have no interests beyond creating disruption. Chaos for its own sake. They must be repositioned where they can do no harm, or removed if necessary. You replace them with organizers willing to build a new system and carry out the ugly work that must be done. Sera: What? Why? What ugly work? Solas: That is up to you. Do you wish to disrupt the nobility, secure a title? Or change the political structure entirely? Sera: None of it! I don't want any of that!

Solas: I do not understand you, Sera. You have no end goal for your organization. Sera: Nobles get rattled, and people get payback. I play in the middle. Solas: Why not go all the way? You see injustice, and you have organized a group to fight it. Don't you want to replace it with something better? Sera: What, just lop off the top? What's that do, except make a new top to frig it all up? Solas: I��forgive me. You are right. You are fine as you are. Sera: You hurt my head sometimes, Solas. Solas: Yes, I have been known to do that.

conclusion:

sera is one of the most important characters in dai specifically because of the perspective she brings to the table. she's the average person. she's scared of mages and magic. she's scared of templars. she's scared of the grey wardens. she's young and tries so hard. she lived through the blight. she's traumatized af. she feels like she has no culture that will accept her as she is. the first people to accept her, to just see sera, are the red jennies, and she happily joins them. she offers herself to the inquisition despite being scared of it because a part of her wants to help and another part wants answers - but is scared of getting them at the same time.

Herald: But where do you stand on the war? Sera: In the frigging middle, with everyone else. Sera: You know what I hear about mages? Nothing until one goes all demony. Know what I hear about templars? Nothing, until they take “maybe-mages.”

she's a queer city elf who's expected to marry another elf and have his children. she's a poor elven child who's supposed to be grateful that she was offered a good life by a noble. she's never had a space where she was able to work through all her issues, or even begin looking at them for real - but when she does have that space, she is surprisingly vulnerable with people. the cookies are important because it's her biggest show of vulnerability - she's revealing her past and one of the things that haunts her most, and she's actively trying to change the context, to disrupt a childhood trauma with new, better memories

[dozing-marshmallow]

This may sound weird, but can you do Trans!Chris x Female!Reader? If not, then it's okay

Nah, this wasn’t weird! This was fun to write for! Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy !!💝

(This one shot involves gender dysphoria so please be mindful if this is a discomfort for you.)

TRANSGENDER! CHRIS MCLEAN X FEMALE! READER ONE SHOT

“You know, your makeup is quite decent today, (Y/N).”

Chris chirped one day when you were sitting with him in one of his yachts, surrounded by the glistening blue of the ocean and the whiteness of the sky.

“Decent today? What are you implying? That it’s bad every other day?” you chuckle.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Chris chuckles alongside you, taking a gulp of his black coffee,“Reminds me of when I did makeup back in the old days. I was always amazing, but now.” he smirks,“I’m wealthy enough to hire people to do it for me.”

“Uh huh.” you followed his smug face expression, stirring your own coffee with the teaspoon provided,“It’s just like you to be so pampered.”

“Yep, that’s me. Born to rule the entertainment industry with my Heaven sent looks and charisma! The whole world knows it! And yet,” Chris hangs his head as he goes on to say,“I’m not ready to tell it who I am.”

You cock your head,“Who you are? The world already knows that, McLean.”

However, he wasn’t sharing your sense of playfulness as he raised his head to cut you an unamused look,“Very funny. You know what I mean.” he looks to the side, his face softening,“I’m just so afraid. I don’t know what happened, but lately, I’ve been doubting myself. I don’t feel like the guy I was.”

That doesn’t sound good,“You wanna talk about it?”

“Sure.” he responds, taking a sip of his coffee. After, his gaze matches the angle of yours,“So uh, one day I kinda started feeling off; I wasn’t feeling my usual phenomenal irreplaceable self. Something was wrong, and looking in the mirror only made it worse. I know I’m a man. I know I am. But...” he taps the sides of his cup as though to maintain his grip on communicating,“It wasn’t me I saw, but that...thing. And now, she won’t leave. She’s there in all my reflections, copying all my moves, it’s so freaky. Sooo... I’m kinda in a um, position where I’m believing in signs. Signs like, what if that version I don’t wanna be is intimidating me just like how...I’m intimidating manhood? What if that man never existed, (Y/N)? Am I wasting my time?!”

You bring the edge of your coffee to your lips as you carefully considered your words,“Well obviously, this old you you’re seeing, is a manifestation of insecurities-”

Failing instantly,“Ugh, spare me the pretentious words! If I wanted to see a therapist to tell me all that, I would’ve done so years ago.”

You set your cup down,“I mean, there’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help.”

“Not when you’re a beacon of perfection like me! When therapists are done with me, they’ll be all over their secret accounts on social media, posting subtle stuff about it! Aw if he didn’t want me to out him, he should’ve paid me a little bit more!” his voice comedically changed to fit one jarring of a potential backstabbing therapist.

“I know some therapists make you sign a contract, but you could always create a contract of your own for them to sign if you feel that anxious.” you hummed, despite knowing that privacy would already be included in a contract designed by one.

“What do you mean, you know? You’ve been to a therapist before, (Y/N)?” Chris raised an eyebrow, leaning closer to your caught off guard face.

Again, there was nothing wrong with seeking professional help so you had no clue why Chris was scrutinising you like it was taboo,“...We’re getting off topic.”

“Damn it, you’re right!” Chris exclaimed in self-awareness as he took a loud, long sip of his steaming cup,“Ah... Anyway. I’m not joshing when I say I’m confused, (Y/N). Really, I am. At first I was content and relieved I got to be Chris. Now I just feel out of place. I feel like a living fraud. I can’t even recognise my own million dollar smile in pictures anymore.” he brushes a hand over his cheek,“I didn’t think I would actually feel unsure with my guts after so many years.”

You never thought you’d see the day where Chris was venting so deeply,“Well, it’s fine to feel disoriented with your identity at times, Chris. It’s a completely normal thing that many transgender people go through, even those who find themselves very early on.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to experience it at all.” he groaned in a snappy manner,”I’ve tried shutting it out, ignoring it, moving on with my life, but it keeps surfacing. I’m sick of it.”

That’s one mistake,“You said you were starting to believe in signs more, right?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“So don’t you think this is a sign that you can’t keep trying to dismiss how you feel and address it?” you propose, hope flowering in your irises.

“But I’m a guy. I’m not supposed to be all emotional and stuff anymore.” he mumbles, almost like it was just intended for himself to hear.

Though, you heard it and you’re thankful you picked it up. With that mumbled, you feel you’ve uncovered more depth to what this was about,“Okay well, what you just described is toxic masculinity, and that never solves anything for anyone. Look.”

You have trouble deciding if you should grab his hand,“I’m not going to try and say I know exactly what you’re feeling, but I can empathise from the perspective of somebody who’s known you for a very long time that you are definitely not impersonating manhood.” you decide against it, but you made sure his head was facing you,“You’re the happiest as a guy, and you’re not any less of one even if you express yourself, even if you were born female. I know being in the public eye, you have a certain expectation of smiles to convey, but just because you conceal it from the public, doesn’t mean you have to conceal it from yourself. At the end of the day, this scary feeling will only be gone if you confront it. Not me, not your agent or your fans. I can’t tell you how to confront it, but I can tell you, it’s fine to take your time in resolving it. Gender dysphoria is draining and you have a right to feel distressed.”

He doesn’t look very convinced, just a slight head nod to confirm he’s listening. Seems like he’s not sure how to take your words. To be fair, you’ve said a lot and he already denied therapy, so you decide to speak again with more simple words, smiling,“You’ve made a lot of progress. It takes a lot of courage to make the transition you’ve done. Isn’t that proof of a remarkable journey that can withhold your current uncertainty?”

“Maybe...” he sighs as he shifts in his seat,“Anyway. I’m still gonna keep this confidential. My entire career, as I know it, could crumble in the span of two minutes!”

You know he did not just say that,“Chris, you’ve done way more horrendous things in your lifetime and you still haven’t gotten cancelled. Being transgender would be the least of anyone’s concerns. Sure it may be surprising, but at least it’s not a crime.”

“Hey...” his dark eyes lit up,“You’re right! Maybe if I do come out, I can make myself more money and attention! Great thinking, (Y/N)!”

His enthusiasm seemed like an exaggeration, so you shrugged,“I mean, as long as you’re comfortable, no one has the right to say otherwise.”

“Yeah no, I was lying.” the laughter he emitted wasn’t organic- called it,“I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

His laid back mask was slipping. The smell of coffee was weak- you noticed both of your cups have been emptied. He could do with a bit of alone time after what you’ve discussed.

“Want me to go get us a refill?”

He hands his cup to you,“Thank you.”

[starynightcreator]

It's Not All Bad

Chapters: 6-8

Characters included: Eddie Munson, Nancy Wheeler, and Steve Harington

Word Count: 4,352

No use of Y/N

18+! May be triggering to some!

Contains: Fluff, Angst, Kissing, Shy/ Anxious Reader, Sweet/Protective Eddie, Jealousy, Cursing, Alcohol use, Yelling, Heartbreak, Betrayal, & Friends To Lovers.

Summary: After a betrayal from your best friend and boyfriend, you find comfort in the arms of eddie.

Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. This is my first story and I'm a little nervous.

!Must give credit when re-sharing/ sharing. Don't take credit please and thank you!

PART SIX:

As you hear them rambling in the background you just keep looking forward and walk out.

You know they are just trying to earn your forgiveness to feel better about themselves and that hurts more in some ways. You’ve done so much for them and you’ve given them your heart, support, trust and more just for them to do this. You couldn’t breath, you couldn’t think, you just couldn’t. You had to do everything you could not to look back or you’d cry more. But where was Edds? Eddie couldn’t do much not right now at least he wanted to go make sure to be there for you but not without saying something first. “You both had this coming and you both are awful people. That feeling you feel right now I hope everytime you kiss you feel that way and ask was this worth losing someone so important.” Steve tried to reason with Eddie but Eddie wasn’t stupid. “Come on Eddie you know I make her happy-” “Save it man because guess what you don’t. But I will give you both some advice. Stay away from my Star. Don’t ever bother her with your bullshit again.” What Eddie didn’t know was that you had come back. You didn’t want to but you did and you did to get him even if you had to see Steve and Nancy. But when you got to the door you heard a commotion so you looked through the window. You always loved how he cared for you and it’s not anything new to you but as soon as he said “My Star” time seemed to stop until you felt cold rings grab one of your hands. “Let’s go home Star.” And with no hesitation “Okay Edds.” You finally get home and ask Eddie to wait in the living room. You were so quick Eddie didn’t even get the chance to sit. You finally return to the living room and you were no longer in that dress or any of the things you had on before you had switched into a T-shirt, shorts, and you had pulled your hair up. Normally you’d not do that till the guest left but you were sad and you felt comfortable around Eddie even if he decided to laugh you were okay with that. You finally looked at him and caught that he had already been looking at you but so warmly. So you decide to tease him a little. “Edds?”“Hmm?”“What are you looking at hmm?”“Umm nothing.” You then start walking in his direction “Oh didn’t know I was nothing.” Eddie’s face just starts to burn red “Hey wait Star you ar-” You then walk past him and sit on the sofa “No it’s okay I get it Edd’s.” “Stop that.”“Stop what?”“Teasing…” “Ha, you're cute. But…NO” “Ugh.” You then held up your phone then shook it as a way to change the subject. “Music?”“Star?”“Yes?”“Are you ok?” You play the music anyways before answering “Edds honestly no i’m not. This past month they have been treating me like trash making me feel like I did something wrong. Every Time you tried to cheer me up Steve got mad and fought with you and knocked me back down. Then Nancy would either just stand there or make things worse by adding fuel to the fire as if she enjoyed the fighting. And then tonight I just wanted to forget about them completely and enjoy myself and I was until that. I hate parties and this is just another reason to hate them honestly. Then I made a fool of myself ugh. Why couldn’t they just be honest. Like why couldn’t Steve be like look I'm sorry I still care about you but Nancy and I seem to still have strong feelings for each other and we’d hate to hurt you. But noooo they did the whole sneaking around thing.”“They never deserved someone like you in their lives and karma will kick them in the ass so hard they won't be able to sit for years. I’m sorry they did this to you, they are awful people. Wait, if you hate parties then why’d you invite me to this one?”

[mayakrish08]

Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Series

Alright fellas, buckle up for the rant. I can’t believe it’s week 4 already and that we are 5 episodes in. I’m gonna start with the current episode. The story is slowly picking up pace, and BOY I loved this episode. The fact that this episode has the FIRST HUG and the FIRST SEAWEED BRAIN are good reasons for that. Another being the way Annabeth dealt with the situation, and how she admitted that Percy was better than her. It must have taken a lot. It’s been… what, a couple of days, and that guy is tilting her world from its axis. Being a self righteous daughter of Athena, and finding yourself with an impulsive guy like Percy? Ha. The most unlikeliest pair, but let’s not forget their parents, hmm? At least their kids don’t have the emotional range of a teaspoon. And I remember thinking that Percy has made Annabeth cry in a matter of few hours. ANNABETH and CRYING do no go in the same sentence that easily. I also remember thinking that Percy was sooo… Percy! “Where is our ride?” And “You think you know me, but you don’t” and ohh, the ultimate, “It’s… smelly.”

Ares was a douche, but I loved his aesthetic with the black leather jacket and the motorcycle. Felt like he jumped right outta the book.

But but, can we like talk about Grover? Ma Man SLAYED it! IS SLAYING IT actually! The way he dealt with Ares, holy gods!! RESPECT!! He was such a SMOOOOTH CRIMINAL! “Pottu vangardhu,” we say in Tamil. That’s exactly what he did with Ares - getting the information he needed from Ares, but in a way that satisfied Ares’ ego. Ah Grover is such a badass. “So, thank you for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers. We will take you up on the ride too.” DAAAAMMNNN DUUUDDEEEE!! Ah I feel in love with him right from the consensus song. {Muttering “Oh Golly, the road’s gettin’ bumpy}

Speaking of, that episode was really good too! I loved how Grover kept deflecting every question, how Percy kept questioning the hierarchy, and how Annabeth was constantly rolling her eyes at Percy, BUT they still didn’t give up on each other, and Grover snapped, and hey! They are finally bordering on the friend zone.

Ah, I wish current Percy and Annabeth could revisit their initial years. Or, I keep thinking, how would House of Hades be, with this cast? *Snort* Ironically, when I think about that, it feels like we are JUST five episodes in. It also makes me feel awed because… We may as well be watching these kids grow up! Like, sure, there will be PLENTY of new characters (Personally, after seeing Hephaestus, I can’t wait for Leo), but Percy and Annabeth are going to be constants, even more so than Grover! So, that means, we will be watching Leah and Walker grow, and we will have a chance of coming back to the first few episodes and coo at how small they are. Gosh, watching the cast interviews now makes me see the difference already!

There is one thing with this series: I keep forgetting the book! It feels like that, certainly! I mean, I don’t remember the Golden Throne thingy, nor did I remember the way Medusa was killed! While the scenes fit the series’ storyline, it is making me doubt my demigod-ness 😭 I also think Gabe is too… decent in this series. He is… MUCH worse in my head. Ugh.

All in all, I think they are doing a good job. At first, I was a bit skeptical, but after watching a certain review of a certain YTber I follow, my perspective changed for the better. Like, she is the perfect Demigod and Witch! Finally, someone I can totally relate to!! Check out her content!

Alright, I am gonna wrap up the rant for now. But I am planning on posting a review every Wednesday, because I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS DAMMIT!!

[luveline]

Hey Miss Jade it’s my birthday today or was yesterday idk which it is for you but the same as snoopy apparently so thank you for that information??

I just wanted to thank you for your great work❤️your writing is genuinely so comforting and when my other comfort media isn’t quite doing the trick I can always turn to you(your writing and your page in general, I love hearing snippets from your life, your music recs, etc).

I’m definitely one of those people who get melancholy on and/or around their birthday and I was just re reading your Spencer x roommate reader fic where she gets him the cake and “will you sing?” Ugh that hits me so hard every time😭and the hug😭😭😭I am this👌🏻close to physically feeling that hug whenever I read it. Oh to be popped like a roll of dough by Spencer. I feel like I am both the reader and Spencer in that fic it’s very soothing.

Your characterization is just so great it feels like a beautifully reader indulgent extension of the show. When they say something on the show I’ll often think how it could fit into your writing. One example is when Spencer says the thing about handshakes and the amount of pathogens they pass, and how it would technically actually be safer to kiss🤦🏻I literally see bombshell readers mouth opening or jaw dropping(after a momentary shock, so ready to say something a la “let’s get reacquainted”)but Hotch immediately cutting reader off because He Knows™️ooh or maybe a twist like Spencer beats her to it and murmurs something in her ear after saying that haha or she’s simply so in awe her brain short circuits(I’d love for Reid to flirt with me through statistics)

Ohh and speaking of Hotch today I also re read your “loving on chubby reader”😭I’m lucky to spend my birthday with my folks but that doesn’t mean they turn off the judgment😭if anything it’s a smidge worse or different bc there’s a “milestone” for my perceived failings😅but they’re a huge part of my body issues and that Hotch fic just makes me feel so terribly lovely(spoiler: all your fics make me feel lovely)(spoiler 2: you make me feel lovely)

Anyway sorry for the long message. I love and appreciate you❤️❤️❤️

happy birthday!! Don’t apologise for the long message I love hearing what you’re thinking! You don’t have to thank me for anything I’m just glad you’re here and that you enjoy the fics I’ve been writing, it’s literally amazing for me to know you liked them! I get what you mean about like the melancholy of a birthday being a milestone you’ve missed and I think everybody feels a certain amount of sad on their birthday BUT I hope you have a good day regardless and in my opinion you have not missed any milestone cos you’re perfect as you are! I love YOU and appreciate you being here, and being alive, how lucky we are that you’ve reached another birthday!❤️❤️❤️

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: The Devotion to Tatsumi Kazehaya - 1

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring, three years ago

Characters: Jun, Tatsumi

Proofreading: 310mc + Remi (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt & Peace

Tatsumi: Haha. If I'm able to bring even a hint of a smile to your face, then I'll consider being an idol a true blessing.

Content Warning!

Contains casual mention of suicide.

Time: Three years ago. One month after the entrance ceremony.

Location: Reimei Academy's "Labour Camp”

Jun: Yaaawn~...♪

(Welp, it's the start of yet another god-awful day...)

(Nothing's improved at all since the entrance ceremony. It's just day after day of serving these damn Special Students. Fuck this shit.)

(Isn't Reimei Academy supposed to be a school for training idols? I still haven't done a single thing you'd expect an idol to do here yet.)

(Well, I guess that kinda thing's one of those almighty Specials' privileges, huh?)

(At this rate, I’m starting to think I was practicing better before I even enrolled here. I’ve been practicing in secret, yeah, but I’ve still got my limits.)

(I'm always so worn out from washing those Specials' clothes and making their meals that by the time I get back to the Labour Camp, I'm asleep on my feet.)

Jun: (All the same, I've been pushing myself to practice on my own, but it really just feels like I'm taking a pointless detour… Actually, it’s more of a total waste of time than a detour.)

(But well, I did hear that in hardcore powerhouse baseball schools, newbies aren't allowed to even touch the ball for their whole first year.)

(Who knows, maybe this is the idol version of that, but — )

(It still pisses me off...! Ugh, can't the Specials all get into some kinda accident and just drop dead already?)

Tatsumi: Good morning. ♪

Jun: Woah... Oh, mornin', Kazehaya-senpai.

You've totally settled yourself into the Labour Camp, haven't ya? I honestly figured you would've thrown in the towel and gotten the hell out way sooner.

Tatsumi: As they say, once you clear your mind of worldly thoughts, even fire will feel cool. If you look around the world, there are plenty of people much worse off than those who live here.

Comparatively, a blessed person such as myself has no right to complain at all, don't you think?

Jun: Is that how it is? For that matter, why're you bumming around here at the very bottom of the barrel when you could be kicking back enjoying the privileged life of a Special Student?

I'm uh, wait, how d'you say it... My, um, deepest apologies for asking this again and again.

Tatsumi: You needn't worry over formalities, Jun-san. It doesn't matter how you speak to me, so long as you're able to convey yourself the way you wish.

Jun: Yeah, right. This place is practically full of assholes waiting to jump you the second you say a single word wrong.

Tatsumi: Is that so? Haha, I learn so much by speaking with you.

Jun: (What a weird guy... For real, what's up with him?)

(Rumour has it that he appealed to the school to have his Special Student title revoked, but they rejected it so they're having a lil' dispute right now.)

(Wonder if he’s tryin’ that 'cause he doesn't get along that well with the other Specials or something?)

(But then again, whenever I see Kazehaya-senpai around school, it always seems like he's on good terms with both Specials and Non-Specials alike.)

(Reimei Academy may have a thoroughly-enforced hierarchy but this guy's the only "exception" to it.)

(I seriously wonder what his whole deal is~... I'm not really interested in other idols, let alone idol students fresh off the boat, so I didn't know about it, but...)

(After looking into it, I discovered that Kazehaya-senpai's already debuted as a Special Student idol, and he seems to be crazy popular.)

(Even though Yumenosaki currently has the most influence over the industry, it’s barely producing results — and he took the opportunity to grab his own fan base. Last year, he especially thrived by attracting the attention of audiences that love young male idols.)

('Course, CosPro's other idols are all doing great, thanks to the selfless devotion of us Non-Specials.)

(But even among them, this person stands right out.)

(But instead of letting it all get to his head, here he is hanging out with us at the very back of the pack, sitting in the Labour Camp as he drinks homemade tea.)

Tatsumi: ...? Would you like some tea as well, Jun-san?

Jun: I'll have some. I still feel worn to the bone no matter how much I sleep lately, so I'd like something to wake me up a lil'~...

Tatsumi: You sound like an exhausted middle-aged man, Jun-san. Don't forget, you still have plenty of years ahead of you.

Jun: Right back atcha. Ahh, this tea tastes great. It's stuff like this that makes up the rare moments of joy I get to experience at Reimei, for real.

Tatsumi: Haha. If I'm able to bring even a hint of a smile to your face, then I'll consider being an idol a true blessing.

Still, you really do seem far too tired...

If you're unable to take your mind off of things, then it's possible you have some symptoms of depression. Before your thoughts become too much and overwhelm you, you should vent them out to someone.

I don't mind lending an ear, if you don't mind me listening.

Jun: I’m all good, I swear. You say this to everyone no matter who it is, don'tcha?

'Cause of that, we get crowds of poorly-lookin' folks comin' to the Labour Camp everyday, telling you woes of their ailments...

It's got me starting to think this place's looking more like a hospital or a church.

Tatsumi: My apologies, I hadn't meant to cause such a disturbance. I've asked them not to come here as much as possible, but they still do...

The rules are strict on those who aren't Special Students, and so we'll certainly be reprimanded if this area becomes something of a hangout spot. Our teachers and other staff won't like it.

Jun: Well, it's fine, isn't it? Everyone needs some kinda place to escape to.

You sit down all these tormented Non-Specials right before they think to end their suffering and send themselves off to actual Heaven, and hold 'em back from acting on it.

Even though all I do is live next to this, just the thought of it makes me feel like I'm a part of something noble — and you know what? Somehow, I'm grateful for it.

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

[humanjadewingletaskblog]

Chapter 4: Winter

Winter laid down on the top bunk of him and Qibli’s shared bunk bed.

He just came back to this school today and was relieved.

To be back with Qibli? Of course not, he had no opinion on Qibli whatsoever.

Winter was just relieved to be away from his parents again.

Breaks from school were awful, having to live with being a disappointment to his parents and them having clear favouritism towards his siblings all day.

School was his only escape.

The only place he could be himself without anybody caring.

Well, except his twin sister Icicle.

Icicle was his parents favourite child.

She did what she was told.

Never acted up.

Was never unordinary.

Winter had always had a feeling of being unordinary from everyone else, and it didn’t help that this summer he was diagnosed with depression.

After his diagnosis his parents got worse.

They never took his mental health problems seriously.

They just saw him as a baby who needed to calm down.

Everyone at school though was much more accepting.

Especially Qibli.

Qibli was perfect, a kind boy who was the only person he’s ever met that could perfectly tell what he needed, when he needed it.

Winter felt his face growing warmer the more he thought about him.

‘NO! I can’t be into him! My parents haven’t approved of him even as a friend. They ESPECIALLY wouldn’t approve since he’s a boy. I don’t like boys, never have, never will. I have to be what my parents expect of me. I need to grow out of this phase.’ He thought.

Winter heard the rustling of keys at the door.

He quickly grabbed his sketchbook to look busy.

The door opened and Qibli walked through the door.

He had a short, low ponytail in his hair.

Winter remembered before summer break started Qibli mentioned wanting to grow out his hair.

“Winter!” Qibli said while quickly putting his stuff down. “Get down here!”

Winter reluctantly agreed and Qibli wrapped his arms around him.

“I missed you so much! How was your summer? Mine was great! Sorry I took a while to get here I was helping out my mom and sister do some things.”

“My summer was…alright. You grew your hair out.”

“I DID! I’m so glad you noticed! Does it look good?”

“UH-UM, NO, NOT AT ALL! GET A PROPER HAIRCUT WILL YOU?”

“And what would you determine a ‘proper haircut’?”

“I- uh- well…okay maybe I didn’t think that far BUT FIND ONE!”

“Glad you’re still as stubborn as last year, I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t so stubborn.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Your stubbornness makes you very fun to tease,” Qibli said, smirking.

“I AM NOT FUN TO TEASE!”

“You really are, anyways, We’re gonna meet up with my friend and her roommate tonight for dinner just so you know.”

“Do I have to go?”

“Yes.”

“Why can’t I just eat dinner on my own?”

“Winter I know you, if I wasn’t bringing you with me you wouldn’t even go to dinner because you have ‘better things to do’.”

Winter fell quiet.

“Come on, it’ll be fun for you to get to know new people!”

“I would much rather perish than do that.”

“Ha! I know, but it’s good to try new things.”

“For you, maybe.”

“Look, trust me Winter, it will be fun! I promise my friend is nice and I bet her roommate is too.”

“Ugh, fine, I’ll go.”

“Yay! I mean, I was gonna make you go anyways but I’m glad you’re actually willing too!”

“A little.”