#uhhh its 1 am rn

[tyraine]

halfway through my clip studio didnt wanna work anymore so i rushed

[harbingersglory]

hii could i req an soft dom arlecchino x sub/fem reader?? something w a really needy whiny reader n maybe like a mommy kink or thigh riding IDK tysm for ur time !

{☆} characters arlecchino {☆} notes drabble, fem reader, sub reader {☆} warnings 18+ content

"Slowly, doll. We're not in a rush." Arlecchino reprimands lightly, squeezing your hips with just enough force to keep you unmoving on her thigh– she was still being gentle, but the subtle warning in her tone spoke to how easily she could push you against the desk and turn you into such a mess that you couldn't even remember your own name..just that you were hers.

But the barest hint of stimulation from her slacks pressed against your throbbing cunt had you twitching, barely able to form words. All you could think about was the scorching, twisting need building in your stomach, desperation for relief slowly climbing until you'd think she was doing this on purpose to drive you mad.

"Please– 'm a good girl, right? I've been good.." You choked out, only to be met with the rough, husky laugh echoing in your ear that made you feel dizzy with a rush of need, her nails gliding along the skin of your hips as she pressed you down even more firmly– you couldn't see her face but it was easy to imagine the crooked smile twisting her lips at the way you inhaled sharply and tried to buck against her thigh.

"Shh. I know, doll. I've got you, just relax." She murmured in that sickly sweet tone that always had your knees buckling, the raspiness of her voice sending shivers down your spine. It was almost impossible to relax with her so close, the notes of metal lingering on her skin despite how well she presents herself– but you trusted her, despite how you know you shouldn't.

"There we go. Good girl." Arlecchino's grip on your hips loosened just enough for you to move if you so wished, and oh did it take every ounce of restraint to not do just that..she hadn't said you were allowed to, and you weren't about to spoil her good mood by being a brat. Not tonight, anyway. "Do you want to cum, doll?"

The fervent nod you offer in place of words draws a laugh from her lips, one that is almost mocking, making your face flush in embarrassment– but the sudden tap against your hip makes your mind go blank to the point you forget it all together, focused only on the feeling of her thigh rubbing against your cunt as you bucked against her thigh, the fabric slick and wet against your inner thighs. You'd have half the heart to be embarrassed about that, too, if not for the sudden brush of her thumb against your aching, neglected clit. Just that small touch has you speeding up your movements, practically drooling as you whimpered like a dog in heat.

"That's more like it, doll. Such a pretty girl." Arlecchino hummed, her other hand trailing up your stomach, between the valley of your breasts and ghosting across your throat before settling on grabbing your jaw in a firm, yet almost tender touch as she tilted your head to the side just enough for her to pull you into a burning kiss. It left you lightheaded, grinding down against her thigh as she claimed your mouth as her own, her thumb still ghosting over your clit sporadically.

She'd spent so long teasing you, constantly touching you but never where you needed her, that you already felt like you were going to snap like a wire. She must've been in a really good mood, then, when she pulled away from the kiss with an almost predatory lick of her lips, yet she settled on pressing kisses to your skin rather then the usual sharp bite of her teeth as they sunk into the curve of your shoulder.

"Are you close? Go on. I want to see your face when you cum– you look the prettiest when you finally break apart, doll." Arlecchino mused idly– as if she wasn't talking to you while you continued to rub your aching cunt against her thigh, chasing your own release through shaky, strained breaths. Her thumb swiped over your lips, brushing strands of hair stuck to your skin from your face– at the same time as she swiped her thumb more firmly against your clit, creating a vicious contrast that had you both melting at the barest hint of almost softness from her and the touch of her hand between your legs, dragging you into an orgasm that leaves you trembling and, had she not shoved her fingers into your mouth, screaming, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes.

"All done, little doll. Take it easy." She murmured, voice so quiet you almost didn't hear it, thumb swiping across your cheek to wipe away the stray tear, her hands pulling away to settle on your sides. "You did well– good girl. Let me take it from here."

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mac i am so sorry to enter ur inbox with more qsmp but oh my god. qcellbit update. so he talked to bagi. his sister. he still doesn't remember her. he still needs time to process everything but she said she's waited fifteen years so she can wait a few more days. i'm crying and sobbing rn. also he doesn't even fucking remember what he did to get thrown in prison, all he knows is that he was killing people to survive one day and another he was behind bars. i'm UNWELL!!! he got called in to talk to cucurucho (the fuckin THING that's kind of the federation mascot and it tortured cellbit with a chainsaw months ago FUCK CUCURUCHO ALL MY HOMIES HATE CUCURUCHO) and he was just. fucking tired. yesterday he messed with the feds quite publicly and cucurucho questioned him about it and he said "i don't care what you do to me, you can torture me, i don't care. i just want my family back, i want a future with them. just give me peace. let me rest." HE SOUNDED SO FUCKING TIRED. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING UNTIL SOMEONE POSTED A TRANSLATION BUT HE SOUNDED SO SO SAD. AND NOW CELLBIT HIMSELF IS GOING TO TWITCHCON SO QCELLBIT IS TAKING A WEEK LONG DEPRESSION NAP. MAC CAN U HEAR ME. I'M UNWELL. I'M LOSING IT. THIS IS ME RN

anyway. hows ur day. i might go watch some steven universe bc i have been meaning 2 rewatch it (or adventure time!!!! one of the two for sure) take a short break from binge watching hannibal 2 watch a silly funny cartoon :3 also still trying to make my way thru marble hornets again it's just such an insane series 2 rewatch u know but i'm getting there!!! sorry i am just currently lying on the floor in my brain thinking about qsmp i had 2 tell u what happened 2 ur blorbo in law today

NEVER APOLOGIZE TO ME ABOUT PUTTING STUFF IN MY INBOX I LOVE GETTING MAIL I LOVE LEARNING THROUGH OSMOSIS I LOVE LISTENING 2 PPL TALK ATBT THINGS THEY LOVE

that sounss aboslutely DEVASTATING btw. oh my god. so the whole thing is like.. she remembers him but he doesnt remember her ?? GODDDD thats so upsetting. im glad hes getting 2 take a nap even if it is a depression one sigh. oh man oh man i love this.

my day was! good i think! i have not had a day to reat since my whole job shadow debacle last week so im kimd of running on fumes BUT . i have off work tmw so im gonna get a haircut and feel all good about everything. and maybe work on some art bc im now caught up to my pre prepped invertober images and i have a couple other time sensitive things like that. ougah. we keep truckin. ive got a huge backlog of youtube videos to watch from last week + beginning of this week i cannot Wait to get thru those and also watch more adventure time !! bc i have offically gotten to Stakes (a marcelone centric mini series) and it is one of my favorite eras ever. i love you vampire lore!!!

[b4kuch1n]

so how did u guys find the lineart pack

[glitchedsoftware]

a collage (i barely know anything about sonic lore nor have i ever play shadow the hedgehog)

[chisungie]

.

[ranishereforphae]

crying throwing up and in hysterics over sending this application....i hope im actually like....a perfect fit....for one of the positions....and i get it....

[bigweldindustries]

me, the man who specifically requested that my sleeve not come down onto my hand so i can still hide all my tattoos with long sleeves: hm. i kind of want a neck tattoo

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

Log 227

FTL: Although I truly do hate to admit it, I have barely made any progress during the last cycle. I've been distracted, though by what I'm not too sure. But I am congnisant of myself enough that I recognise that perhaps a lot of the interest that I've had for this project has faded. I think that I'd rather not bother at all with Rot for at least a few dozen cycles. Though the success of this experiment would have been hugely beneficial - both to myself and any who'd 'risk' themselves to try it - my purpose has never been to help other Iterators or myself.

FTL: The modified Metal Rot project will be put on the backburner, I will come back to it at a later point in time. I will instead resume my typical experiments of creating hybrids and seeing what happens when a specific factor is added or removed from a species. True experimentation, though predictable. Back to regular work... Won't have to concern myself with Rot other than typical security measures for a while.

FTL: Perhaps I'll pick up something related to poleplants... Significantly Important Utility's existence has intrigued me. Or perhaps not, we'll see. I do remember that one idea I had for a poleplant and white lizard hybrid. The could work.

FTL: I'll have to think about it. I will be restarting experiments this cycle though. I've been dilly-dallying for far too long, preoccupied with experiments whose interest factor has long since faded. The thrill of a new project is always pleasant, especially one so familiar in structure.

FTL: It's been rather odd as of late. I cannot quite say what 'it' is, but I can tell that it's off. Perhaps the lingering irrational effects of my receiving of Songs of the Negative Sunlight's logs, perhaps all of LIFEGIVER's pointless talk, perhaps the sheer urge to just end communications with Eternal Anomaly. All of those things are relevant to other Iterators, which I suppose supports my statement that others only make situations worse. I've been thinking about this for far too long.

FTL: I have work to do, even if it is at the cost of abandoning another project.

[apothe-osis]

like yeah, i have no money and also keep spending money i dont have, and my stepdads nan is on palliative care and is going to die soon and hes stressing about that, and our kitchen sink is broken and we dont have the money to replace it, but other than that everythings great *thumbs up*

[simplhee]

be my +1

synopsis: when streamer heeplays needs to find a plus one to go with him to the Streamer Awards, what does he do? he makes a google form of course! and what happens when up-and-coming streamer y/n jokingly fills out the form, catching heeseung's attention? stream starting soon: be my +1 !!!

lvl 5. - maidenless [smau + written 367 words]

========= stream starting soon =========

The bright gleam of the ring light blinds heeseung as his stream starts up. his light is on, mic is muted, and food is on its way as chat begins to flood onto his “starting soon” page. checking the countdown timer, he has two minutes all to himself before officially going live. heeseung smiles to himself as he watches chat talking amongst themselves.

otvfan07: hello !!!

🜲 nightwingsbooty: hi chat

yunjinlover: :wave: 

pikachuus: hihi

looking at the countdown one last time, heeseung moves a strand of hair before the clock finally reaches zero. switching the scene on his stream deck, his face suddenly fills up his second monitor as he moves to unmute his mic. “yo, hi, welcome everyone!...hihi, oh what song is playing?, uhhh it is, ‘give me your forever’ by zack tabudlo…yea i like that song haha”

🜲 jayparks: w

shimkongzz: hee’s taste *chefs kiss*

lunelles: what’s the plan for today ?

“ah, ‘what’s the plan for today?’, well,” clapping his hands together, “today we are going to be playing a little bit of valo but we’re going to have our usual thirty minutes of just chatting first” as heeseung’s eyes scan through chat he notices a particular question, “‘did i see somi’s new tweet?’ mm not yet let me pull it up now…ah okay we can bring plus ones to the streamer awards...oh am i going to bring anyone? hmm i don’t know chat, we’ll see, we’ll see”

eumppappaz: BOOO THIS MEANS YOURE MAIDENLESS

02zlvr: hee confessing he’s single KEKW

kkurawons: BITCHLESS BEHAVIOR

“hey hey i could pull…it’s just no one has piqued my interest rn” 

heyluv: I CAN BE YOUR DATE HEE

🜲 babyricky: you looking for a date ???

☑️💎ikeutv: ayo you looking for a date bbg ;)

mochimoshi: POG I could be your date

“woah woah woah idk guys, you really think you can handle all of this…” heeseung begins to regret everything as his chat is filled with nothing but silence in the form of three small dots, finally loosing his cool when all he can see is the flush emote times ten “haha anyways imma start warming up now, i just saw jake in chat, and i CANNOT let him rank higher than me”

extra:

previous ✿ masterlist ✿ next

note: writing the written part was so cringe inducing

also ! this is the flush emote

pairing: streamer!heeseung x fem!reader content/genre: strangers to lovers, college au, streamer au, fluff, crack, (potential) angst, smau warning(s): swearing, ignore timestamps taglist is still open !!!

©️ simplhee 2023

[holly-the-trash-writer]

Spencer Reid x Famous!Reader

Part 1. Part 2.

Synopsis: After your home is broken into by a stalker, your bf cheats, the FBI is called and a new romance begins to take over.

Told through Instagram posts

TW for mentions of stalkers

e!news

Liked by y.n.is.life, user753 and 79,642 others

e!news ‼️BREAKING‼️ Police called to Y/n L/n home after attempted break in by armed perpetrator.

Sources say Y/n was home with her boyfriend, singer Matt Carter, at the time of the break in but security chased him away.

This is not the first time an attempted break-in has been made on Y/n's property.

View all 8,432 comments

y.n.is.life Oh. My. God. Praying she's okay rn 🙏🏽

user732 Why are ppl so disgusting. She's a human being. 🤬

y.nfan HE WAS ARMED 😭 so glad security chased him away!!!

user864 She must've been terrified 😢

jojo396 NOT THE FIRST TIME?!?!?!?! STAY SAFE Y/N

yourinstagram

Liked by taylorswift and 238,9736 others

yourinstagram To my fans. Due to recent events it is with a heavy heart that I will be postponing my tour for the foreseeable future. I am so, so, sorry. The horrific events of these past few days have shaken me to my core. We have discussed this back and forth for hours and we decided that for your safety and my own this was the right course of action. Please keep your tickets and we will try and get new dates ASAP. Thank you for all your love and support. I love you all. Y/n and YourTourName Team. 💜

Comments have been disabled.

fan872

Liked by y.n.stan and 16,762 others

Fan872 I'm going to be fucking SICK. Y/n's boyfriend Matt is in Greece with some random girl!!!!!! They've been papped kissing and at restaurants!

Her house got broken into FOUR days ago and someone tried to attack her. She CANCELLED her tour due to safety concerns and HES IN GREECE CHEATING 🤬🤬🤬🤬

View all 8,726 comments

user men☕️

y.n.is.mother WTF!!!!! SCUMBAG!!!!!

Liked by 412 others

stan.y/n GUYS THATS BECCA!!!! Y/NS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!

matt.is.life No it isn't. Stfu. Stop spreading rumours

stan.y/n Uhhh yes it is.... open your eyes

sarah12 You can't even see her properly?

youralbumname13 Poor Y/n!!! 💔

user Love isn't real. Stg. 😭😭

stan.y/n they were so good together!!!!!

matt.fan I feel so bad for him. The pressure he's under. He needed a break from this

fan872 YOU FEEL BAD FOR HIM?! HIM?!

y.n.matt.4ever SHE ALMOST GOT ATTACKED AND YOU FEEL FOR HIM?!?!?!?!

user234 siding with the cheater💀Gross

selena.fan No. Just no.

rach12 And cheating was the way to go??

e!news

Liked by celeb.news and 81,624 others

e!news ‼️BREAKING‼️FBI arrive at Y/n L/n's condo in New York.

This comes after a second stalker incident.

Y/n's team has refused to comment.

View all 4,826 comments

y/n123 How is she going through all this? 😭

username3 Poor Y/n! WE LOVE YOU ❤️

user1name Why's she in NY??

y/n.becca.drama Where have you been?

user926 Her home got broke into in L.A. Then her bf cheated on her with her best friend.

user1name OMFG?!?!?!

mama.sel OF COURSE THEY DIDNT COMMENT?!?!?!?!?! WTF?!

lovebecca

Liked by spill.the.tea, beccamc and 4,173 others

lovebecca Becca has been receiving so much hate and death threats after recent photos of her and Matt Carter have surfaced online.

This is absolutely disgusting!! Cancel culture at its finest, yet again.

She hasn't done anything wrong.

Y/n stans are crazy and will do anything to make her look good and innocent in the media.

Y/n and Matt had broke up because Matt couldn't cope with the stress and his mental health deteriorated. So, Becca and Matt went to Greece together to cheer him up.

They're adults.

Grow up.

View all 6,183 comments

justice.for.becca 💯💯 FACTS

y/nnnn I've never seen someone so wrong b4 😂

queen.tyler Ummm. No? She literally went on holiday with Y/n's bf while they're still together and going through a traumatic experience?

jessicat She's literally a home wrecker

ethan4 Imagine taking Y/n's terrifying experience and spinning it into an excuse for why you cheated 💀💀

Liked by 917 others

queen.y/n The Devil works hard but Matt Carter works harder.

e!news

Liked by y.n.fan and 43,962 others

e!news Singer Y/n L/n has first public outing since the attempted break in of her home and break up with boyfriend, Singer Matt Carter.

Y/n, 24, was pictured in New York earlier today with her FBI protection.

The recent Grammy winner cancelled her tour stating security issues and mental health issues to be the cause two weeks ago.

Just days later, then boyfriend Matt Carter was spotted in Greece with Y/n's best friend Becca McKay. The two pictured in intimate moments together have led to online speculations that the two are now dating even though Matt was in a relationship at the time.

View all 9,726 comments

user74 That agent though 🥵

ginaxx I know!!! He can protect me!

y.n.stan Look how thin she is 😭😭😭

hater927 "Mental health" mmmkay snowflake

bi.queen You get stalked, have someone threaten your life and have your bf cheat on you with your best friend and THEN we'll talk about your mental health. 🤡

grow.up.y/n She looks gross 🤮

y/nnnn The irony of your name.

love.you.y/n So happy you're going back outside!!! Stay strong ❤️

everything.y/n

Liked by harrypottah2 and 6,826 others

everything.y/n Y/N CONTENT!! I'm so so so happy that she feels comfortable posting again. Even if comments are heavily monitored.

I missed her so much! I hope everything is going OK with her and she's staying safe.

P.s. she also deleted every single pic of Matt and Becca off her IG. We Stannnnnnn!!!

View all 826 comments

girl.bossss Even her shadow slays 😭

dantheman She seems comfortable around the FBI. I'd be tense all the damn TIME

oui.oui. her deleting every trace of them is such a power move!!! Revenge era.

y/n.queen SHES AT THE PIANO! WHATS SHE WRITING?!?!?!?!?!?!

matt.fan The pic of them 2 in the HP robes is so cute 🥹

bye.segual. Was. Was so cute. Not now

hate.y/n Her need for attention is sad

doc.martina Why are you HERE THEN?

yourinstagram

Liked by taylorswift and 12,836,923 others

yourinstagram Figuring out what to do next has been one of the hardest things to do. After thinking it over for the past month we have all agreed that being on stage is the right thing for me right now. Life tests us all and this is my test and I will not lose. I will not back down. You all mean so much to me than you will ever know and Yourtourname will continue in NYC in two weeks. Your support has filled my heart with so much love. Stay safe. I'll see you soon 💜

Comments have been disabled

[oh-no-its-bird]

srry if this is invasive i ask all my fave ao3 authors this — how many fic drafts you clocking in at? me personally, i'm sitting at a comfy 61 last time i counted

I don't think it's invasive! Honestly I love any excuse to talk ab my writing so ur doing me a huge favor here (Also o shit ,, fave author ,, am I finally a part of the cool ao3 people club??, ,, , , , , my 12 year old self is so jealous rn)

I've only really turned back to fic writing this month (the last time I wrote fic consistsntly was like 4 years ago now, oops) so I'm yet to rack up a real collection of wips! However currently in the works I have uhhh

- baby Kakashi time travels to meet half Hatake Tobirama (almost done!! Maybe!! It keeps getting longer by accident.)

- like 3 paragraphs of a tobimada space mermaid fic

- chapter 3 of Chasing Shadows is like, 1/5th done and sitting in my notes app staring at me expectantly

- magical girl Izuna !!

- one step three steps is also staring at me ominously waiting to get updated

- also I started writing the next chapter of Into the Wardrobe (my old bnha fic) mostly as a joke bc its been 2 years since it's last update (and THAT update also came only after another 2 years so I kind of wanted to keep the trend going for the laughs)

So like, 6 works total I'm trying to work on but only like 5 actual drafts!

(61 is insane I hope to be like you one day but also that sounds like a very special kind of agony)

[jichanxo]

hiii jichan, long time no senseific asks from me... am kinda interested why you’ve thought the first kiss scene you wrote several says ago will have such, uh, destructive impact to the other plot points. i mean, it suddenly felt natural for them to kiss earlier than you planned them to, or 👀 (sry i’m awkward, can’t think of another way to convey that i. really appreciate your work)

(context for everyone else. my complaining was in the tags)

hi againnnnn :D well the short answer is that i'm probably being over-dramatic, but since a kiss is a big deal i gotta look over the stuff after that scene with new eyes and make sure all of it checks out with the new context

(more under the cut + general senseific updates for the curious)

it's their second kiss (so far), and i threw it in around the middle after shuffling around some plot points (the plot point shuffling is definitely going to be more, uh, destructive than the kiss is anyway, so i am just being over-dramatic), but uhhh... well it's an early release of tension and expression of yagami's frustration towards kitakata than i originally intended so... that's gonna change how their dynamic is going to feel afterwards until the tension is resolved completely (i.e. they sort their shit out)

i'd just placed those plot points in their new spots and saw a gap in the middle of my fic and was Struck By An Urge so now this kiss scene exists with only a vague idea of what the context behind it will be. ...well, i'll write it when i get to it, i suppose. but it was a lot of fun writing something exciting and new for senseific!

but now i gotta get back to the stuff i actually have to do 😔 which is mostly dance club stuff right now. i am thankfully actually making progress on that front. and later i also gotta check some stuff with the robotics club for a short part in chp 1 and 2. and just give everything a general look for cohesiveness.

chp 1 is, by my judgement, very close to its finished form (i just need to do that short robotics club part and general tweaking)

chp 2 still has quite a ways to go, but i've got big chunks of dance club where i want them now, alongside the existing kuwagami stuff (which is the other focus of that chapter). i also need robotics club stuff here but it's pretty minimal rn

chp 3 is.... well the front half has a direction (resolving the dance club), and then it gets a bit lost. (on a related note, those re-homed plot points start to get placed around here). my focus right now is to get the dance club stuff done and leave this problem to be solved later. when i move onto the robotics club, i'm hoping to see what comes up naturally. for now, i gotta focus on the immediate tasks and all that.

[tenuous separation between chapters 3/4 depending on where 3 ends naturally when i finish writing it]

chp 4 is where the new kiss scene is. and a bit of old writing of where i am generally expecting kuwagami stuff to go. around this point is where things get even further away from a readable state, so i won't go on. ....if their second kiss is in this chapter, feel free to take a guess at when their first will be. hehe.

senseific currently has a working title. chapters 1-3 have titles that i think are not gonna get changed, cause i'm attached to em (but you never know, right?)

general senseific update aside, since that kiss is around (what is currently) chp 4, i am eventually going to have to go over the older writing around that point and make sure it all matches the vibe

[definitelynotshouting]

hellooooo!!! tis i, bug anon. i have been VERY MUCH enjoying the hunger au snippets (very late comment ik, but they were wonderful little pick me ups whenever i saw them :))!! ALSO, glad to hear your editing is going well!! idk abt you, but editing is the HARDEST bit of writing stuff for me (so im glad its going well!!). if theres any worldbuilding you've wanted to share but nobody has asked about it yet, feel free to lay it on me! (or dont! your choice!) hope your cat is doing well also, i love him <3

-🐛

I have a few things i want to eventually make posts about, but my brain is admittedly a little boiled right now so they'll probably have to wait a little longer before i can write them out coherently 😂😂😂😂 UHHH SMALL TIDBITS SMALL TIDBITS..... OH OKAY OKAY so im trying to cook up more aspects of Watcher culture and i think. They use entire blocks as little beads for jewelry. Its very common for a Watcher to decorate themselves with jewelry that's made from an all-time favorite block. Imagine if these worms had necklaces and one of them was made from magenta glazed terracotta /silly<3

The editing is for sure difficult esp bc i am being extremely nitpicky with this one rn 😭😭😭😭 we're at whats hopefully the last three chapters of Arc 1 and i have very particular ideas for how i want them written so they hit JUST right. AAAA thank you so much for the encouragement!!!! Im really happy you like the snippets ive sent so far :D

ALSO YES Anarchy is doing great he scratched and wailed at my door this afternoon until i let him in so he could cuddle on my lap for a solid half hour🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 sweetest boy on the earth here is a recent picture of him that has to be a top contender for second best Anarchy pic of all time:

[deadwooddross]

gonna go ahead and crack pandora’s wasp nest open here—how could naruto have been good/how would u have written it

*begins chewing at my restraints and rips the iron door of my containment unit off its hinges* okay so the SHORT version is that naruto should have ENDED ssssomewhere around the Pain arc, maybe throw in one more, could probably keep..tobi...if you just make it WAY less convoluted, but. like that's it that's the wrap up on the lesson of NINJAS ARE HUMAN WEAPONS IN THE ARSENAL OF ENDLESS WAR. You can get maybe ONE more amp up, but the actual story did like 40, because it's shonen. Also Naruto could have had at least a LITTLE thought put into how he was like. raised. there is so much retroactive storytelling in this manga but apparently naruto has just been living in an apartment off his government provided milk and ramen since he was an infant. Maybe make me give a shit about Sarutobi by having had him go and bottle feed the demon baby or SOMETHING. Is Jiraiya the deadbeat sending child support checks or something? It's extremely hard to have Naruto exist at all as he is the second you put any thought into his childhood- which is why GAARA EXISTS. THAT'S NARUTO WITH 6 SECONDS OF THOUGHT. GIVE THAT BOY A FRIEND TO EXPLAIN HOW HE'S SO PEPPY!! SOME SORT OF GUARDIAN FIGURE BEFORE HE'S 12, Iruka could Almost count if he didn't act like he barely knew the little guy. Teacher Watches Orphan Go To Empty Home While Sad Flute Song Plays and says: Fuck that little kid, cant stand him, oh shit wait the author realized he needs one (1) parental figure in order to not lose his mind okay here i c Anyway, besides all that. Well for one thing Sasuke is RIGHT. Fuck Konoha! And the Government! did you see what they did to his clan!!! That one dude fucking HARVESTED them!! So you have little renegade fuck the system baby, and "If I'm king president I can fix all the problems!" baby. Good end: Naruto goes damn maybe u right and we should make some steps to try and alter the cycle of war and death and genetic eyeball supremacy. Neji voice: yeah i taught you all about weird bloodline family shit, remember that?? Bad end: The Entire Rest Of Naruto and Boruto, And No One Learned Anything. Also, the retroactive addition of GODS and PROPHECY anD REINCARNATION and MORE BLOODLINE SUPER WIZARD POWERS is so. Lame, Boring, Snore. Giving naruto a special baby background DESTROYS the fact he's kind of a nobody! He's just some kid with ONE skill he worked really hard on and he uses it in order to hack his way into doing all the other stuff he wants to do!! His only boon is haaving a LOT of energy to burn and STUBBORNNESS!! Screams in ADHD child Haku, Gaara, the Akatsuki/Orochimaru, and Pain. Are all good. Those are the arcs that stay and every one of them has a PRETTY STRONG POINT point about what happens when you smash children into little nukes. Eats that with a spoon. (PS JIRAIYA WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU LEAVE THOSE INFANTS IN A WAR Z) Oh also there's a lot to be said on how to rewrite uhhh literally Any of the women characters into relevancy because as they are rn they barely even count as such. But if i talk about that I would be here for the entire rest of the y- IMAGINE IF SAKURA'S FUCKING MEDICAL JUTSU MEANT ANYTHING!! WHAT IF SHE COULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL AGAINST KONAN BECAUSE SHE CAN SEE ALL HER NERVES IN HER HORRIFYING PAPER FLESH NO JUTSU, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *i am dragged back into my cell*