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twopoppies · 3 years

Note

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

#long post

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deniigi · 3 years

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Hi Dr. Matt, I too am a college youth coming to you for advice, well actually more like concept. What does GPA actually mean, in terms of my ability to get jobs/go to grad school/etc. I grew up in a very "4.0" or bust household and while I've broken free (god that first B was freeing) I have less than 0 ability to actually add context to these numbers. Help?

Hi, anon!

So let’s start from the top and be real broad for you and other folks who might be in different circumstances:

GPA = Grade Point Average. Each institution may calculate this differently. I occasionally have to do them by hand, but why the fuck would you do that is the better question here.

GPA is usually a number between 0.00 and 4.00. Students who fall below a certain GPA at college/univ level (for many institutions in the USA, 2.0 is that number, which is a C average) go on something called Academic Probation

The reason Academic Probation is a problem is because if you are on Academic Probation for multiple semesters, you may be ‘Disqualified,’ I.e. Kicked out of your college/univ.

So in this sense, GPA functions as a way of demonstrating to the University and the people giving you Financial Aid that you are making satisfactory progress on your degree, and you are ‘worthy’ of continuing to receive subsidized education.

While that’s a shitty way of conceiving of humans and education, that’s the system we live in, and that’s essentially why it’s really important for people to be aware of their GPA.

It’s not that that number defines you or your intrinsic worth as a human, rather its that that number gives you access to other things.

Now, on that note, let’s talk about GPA in terms of social value, economic value, and social and academic mobility. It’s going to be a long conversation, so I’m putting it under the cut.

-------------

Depending on your field of career and study, average GPAs are going to vary.

Engineers, for example, go through such difficult classes that they have notoriously low GPAs. Like anything from a 2.0 to a 3.0 is solid and anything higher than like a 3.3 is considered by many in Engineering fields to be really good.

Many STEM fields are like this. Chemistry, Kinesiology, Physics, Math, Engineering, Biology, Bio-Chem, etc.

In many Social Science and Humanities fields, GPAs are less important than research and analytical abilities, writing strength, communication abilities, teamwork stuff -- transferable, “soft” skills essentially.

That being said, when you are trying to move up, academically or economically, GPA may become a factor that you start to think about--especially when you are applying to a type of specialized or graduate school (certification programs, nursing programs, teaching certificate, Masters degrees, PhDs, etc).

Many programs have GPA limits on their programs in order to thin out their application pools. Nursing programs may have a 3.0 minimum. Masters programs may ask you to have only gotten X number of Bs or Cs.

I want to emphasize here, however: GPA minimums depend on the program itself.

Prestige is one of the main driving factors behind demanding a certain GPA. Places with prestigious programs and jobs have the notoriety that brings them loads of applicants, which in turn gives them the ability to raise standards.

The top 10 schools in the US are going to be able to demand a 3.5 GPA or higher for admission.

The top firms in a city can say that you need X amount of experience in X area to be hired onto their team.

-----------------

When it comes to applying to graduate school stuff (law school, Masters programs, PhD programs), I would focus less on whether or not you have a freakishly high GPA and more on your extracurriculars, your publications, research opportunities, writing abilities, analytical skills, and the hard skills necessary for your chosen field (I.e. Knowing MatLab or Python or GIS).

The reason for that is that you don’t really choose a graduate school so much as you choose a supervisor at a graduate school.

So if you can connect with a potential supervisor and are able to demonstrate to them that you A) are an asset to their program and B) have the skills necessary to do the work, then they are often the ones who decide whether or not you get admitted.

Supervisors can often smooth over lumps and bumps when it comes to admission of graduate students because THEY will be the ones overseeing your work before the Univ/program is.

Example: When I applied to one of my schools, the potential supervisor I was working with coached me in how to structure my research statement. They also advocated for me in admissions, and I did, in fact, get into that school (even if I chose not to go). For my other choice, I worked with a different supervisor who helped me get funding to help me secure admission as well.

So in this way, it is far more important for you to impress a supervisor than to have the best GPA of all applicants.

--------------

Now for the rest of y’all who aren’t thinking about grad school or a certification program, you may be asking, “Will my GPA affect my ability to get a job in the future?”

And first off, I want to sort of break down the notion that your degree = your career. Only something like 30% of people end up working in the field they get their degree in, so that tells you already that GPA and choice of Major kind of doesn’t matter in terms of being able to make money.

But more to the point:

Generally speaking, most (like, 95% or something) jobs do NOT require you to list your GPA on your resume or any other application materials.

Some positions may ask you to demonstrate proficiency in a given area or hard skill. Some positions may ask you to provide proof that you completed your degree. But usually, this proof is given to a company AFTER you have applied and accepted an offer for the position.

Example: after I accepted my job, I was asked to submit proof of my Masters degree, because my offer was contingent on me having the credentials I said that I did.

Now, if you are fresh out of school and don’t have much experience, but you’ve got a bangin’ GPA, that may be something that you consider listing on your resume to demonstrate to employers that you are a smart cookie, simply lacking experience.

If you are a new graduate in a STEM field specifically, and you have a bangin’ GPA and are looking for work in STEM, then you may also list that on your resume.

But I want to emphasize that you don’t have to. It is your choice. And in this scenario, you would only do that if you were applying to a highly specific position where that mattered and if you felt that it would help you.

If you’re applying to anything that is not an internship or a STEM entry job (like a new engineer, a new lab assistant, etc) there is no reason for you to put your GPA on your resume. That should not affect your chances for a position.

------------

That’s probably plenty of food for thought for now. But anon, you can breathe. I got your other message and you are doing fantastically. Try to understand that the number isn’t as important as your competence and understanding in the material you are learning.

For right now, focus on building the skills. When it comes down to it, people would rather have a doctor who understands what to do to save their life than a doc who got a 4.0 in undergrad.

#ask #life advice #academic advice #GPA #y'all can do this know that GPA is a small part of your overall credentials

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mittensmorgul · 4 years

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Hi, I love your blog and metas I read many theories that Dean will die, and be with Cas in Heaven, what is your take on this? Personaly hate it (I hate Heaven eternal ilusion) I think Dean deserves to LIVE for once. I do not want him to DieForOurShip. but maybe I'm missing something?

I hate it, too. I mean... Cas and Dean BOTH deserve to just learn how to live with the free will they have been willing to sacrifice to save the world over and over and over again. They SAVED THE WORLD WITH LOVE AND CHOICE AND SACRIFICE, and it really feels to me like the only possible reward at this point is being allowed to live.

I mean, if Jack has truly remade Chuck’s creation to a new, balanced principle, then Heaven shouldn’t be eternal memorex in a personal cubicle anyway, right? We should get that it’s been healed (as a part of Chuck’s “story” inflicted on creation that made it into the cubicle battery that powered his adulation generation machine), so death and going to Heaven aren’t the same sort of existential despair we once thought of, just like life on earth isn’t anymore, because of Jack’s balance restoration. But that’s UTTERLY IRRELEVANT to a story that has been about LIFE and LIVING and LIVING FREE of a manipulative storyteller using these characters like chess pieces for his own satisfaction.

To me, it doesn’t even have much to do with the shipping. That was also never in question for me, and the show has even textually confirmed that ship anyway now. So like... what’s left? For me? Personally, to feel emotionally satisfied with the end of the story, TFW needs to have reached a point where they can explore what it means to them to truly be free, to truly make their own choices without the weight of The Story™ setting them in a cosmic rat maze with no winning outcomes possible. And that means being alive.

I get the show-- because Dabb said he wanted to put a concrete closure point on the story-- may believe that the only way to nudge them to set aside the hunting life or to truly feel free of the obligation to save people even in a post-chuck and self-healing universe (that we have now thanks to Jack), is for them to die and go to a place where everyone is already “saved.” But I find this line of thinking personally repulsive. It’s... it’s saying there is no peace for them until they are dead, and that no peace in life is possible, and I just... I flatly reject that moral message, because it’s utterly sickening to me in every way.

That’s Death Cult Christianity BS, and in a time where that’s a literal political reality we’re watching unfold with increasing horror and pointless death during a global pandemic... I have an even harder time swallowing this as a legitimate ending to a show that has spent 15 years bringing all the characters to a place where they could choose to live for themselves, free of Chuck’s malicious death cult narrative. So... yeah... having a hard time dealing with that ending being one potential route the writers may have chosen...

Not that this is what WILL happen, because we just don’t know yet, and we WILL know how it all shakes out TOMORROW, but having seen that floated as a potential end to the story, I had to come to terms with the what-if scenario. And... I hate it, thanks. Which is why I wrote THIS:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/634989495902748672/something-i-just-wrote-to-someone-on-discord-but

This is my escape hatch for rejecting that ending wholesale if it is indeed what the show will present to us. Maybe it’ll help you feel better about it, too.

#spn 15.20 #spn s15 speculation #spn meta meta #Anonymous

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chibinekochan · 4 years

Text

Angel in Hell - Part 4

Obey me! Angel Reader Au.

Gen. reader insert.

Read the other parts first. part 1 | part 2 | Part 3 |

~4k words

Taglist:

@gothjuulpod ; @purgatoryhall ;

*message me if you want to be on here*

_______________

"Hey there, umm are you ready to go?" Mammon doesn't seem to have any school supplies with him but you don't want to be rude.

"Sure, lead the way." You smile at him.

Together you head to class. You are glad that someone brings you.

Then Mammon stops in front of a classroom. "This is it. This is Belphie. I bet Lucifer dragged him here himself." Mammon laughs, pointing at the sleeping Belphie.

"Alright, thank you for bringing me Mammon." You bow to him.

"Don't sweat it. I will bring you back but I've got work to do. Too damn bad." Mammon sighs.

"What kind of work are you doing?" You are kind of curious.

"Why are you...? Oh right… I'm a model. I should bring a magazine to you later then I can show you how cool I am." Mammon laughs, seemingly pumped up.

"I would like to see that." You smile, happy to have discovered something interesting.

"Alright then, I will be off now. Hey Belphie, wake up and explain the classes." Mammon shouts in Belphie.

Who growans in response.

"It's so annoying, keep it down. I'm sleeping here." Belphie doesn't move. He isn't fazed at all.

"Don't forget what Lucifer told you. You better not mess this up, Belphie. I will see you later." Mammon sighs and smiles at you.

"Sure, see you later." You look after him running off.

"Ah well, come here. Sit next to me. Lucky for you Beel has a game today." Belphie waves you over, with minimal movement.

"Alright. Beel is your twin right?" You remember what Simeon told you.

"Yeah, he is. Usually, he sits next to me. You would… I mean you can sit over there starting tomorrow." Belphie points to the seat at the next table over, the seat next right next to Beels.

"I see that's nice of you." You give him a light smile.

"Sure…you should also take notes for me. I just can't stay awake all day in class you know." Belphie shoves his book over to you.

You sit down next to him.

"You should do your own work but since I borrowed the books from you today I will help you out." You think he is being a bit unfair but you can't complain too much.

"You're always a good person aren't you? No surprise that you became an angel." Belphie sighs, sounding strangely angry.

You feel kinda hurt by his comment.

"Only good people become angels but just for your information it's incredibly rude to tell angels that they were human before."

"Did I hit a sore spot there? I guess that's something they would teach. That humans are something to be ashamed of? Pretty ironic, seeing as some of their best were human before." Belphie seems just as hurt as you are.

"Do you know a human like that?" You find it a bit difficult to believe.

"I don't know what crap they teach you in holy university but yes I knew a great human. Someone truly deserving to become an angel but to be honest they should've become a demon instead." Belphie seems so hurt. It stings you.

You aren't sure what to say to him." I'm sorry Belphie…" You know what you just said was rude and honestly, you don't want to see him hurt.

"I know you didn't mean anything by it. It's not your fault that you got your head full of this angel bs." Belphie sighs.

"You've been an angel but yet you say such bad things about them." You shake your head.

"I don't fault you for this but I know how screwed up they are from personal experience." Belphie seems to be having a hard time meeting your eyes.

You aren't sure what to say about this. You have been told about how they started a war and then were banned from the heavens. It's probably a bad idea to go deeper into this.

"I guess we can't be on the same page on this issue." You feel a bit bad but it can't be helped. He is a demon in the end so it makes sense that you have some fundamental differences.

"If you knew their true face you would agree with me but you are right. Let's just talk about nicer things from now on." Belphie desperately wants to change the topic. It seems like he regrets even bringing it up.

"That's alright with me." You nod to strengthen your agreement.

"So what kind of pillows do you prefer? You know I personally prefer them soft and fluffy." Belphie seems to just change to the first topic that crosses his mind.

"I like them soft and umm square-shaped?" You aren't sure what Belphie really expects you to say.

"How do you feel about round pillows?" Belphie seems pleased enough with your answer.

"They are good to rest my arm on but they aren't good for sleeping." You honestly have no clue where this conversation is going but at least it's pleasant.

Then the teacher enters the room and you and Belphie quiet down.

Lunch Break is approaching. Accompanied by your stomach noises.

This apparently woke Belphie up again. After you tried and failed to quietly keep him awake the entire class.

"Is it time to eat?" Belphie asks you, in a sleepy tone.

"Yeah." You nod and feel slightly embarrassed about your stomach.

"Great, I'm getting hungry just by sitting next to you." Belphie chuckles.

You flush pink. "You heard it didn't you?"

"Haha yeah, it's kinda hard to overhear." He smiles and stretches. "Come let's go! If we are lucky they still have your favorite." Belphie slowly stands up.

"My favorite? How would you know that?" You tilt your head in confusion.

"Oh, I meant I'm sure that you will love it. Sorry, still waking up." Belphie waves you off and yawns as if to prove his point.

"Hmm alright then." His statement confuses you but you let it slide.

Together you head to the dining hall.

Belphie chooses something and points the meal out that he is sure you will love. You are still kinda confused but take it anyway.

Together you walk to a table. You spot Satan and Levi already sitting there and eating, without saying a word.

"Hey, you two." You greet them and sit down. Across from Satan, right between Levi and Belphie.

"Hey, how is your first day of school going so far?" Satan asks.

"Pretty good so far." You have no real complaints.

"If you need someone to tutor you. Please don't hesitate to ask me." Satan offers you in a friendly manner.

"That's very nice of you Satan." You smile at him.

"You have become such a suck-up." Belphie sighs.

"Shut up. Nobody cares what you have to add, just being nice." Satan glares at Belphie.

You feel like the atmosphere just got ten degrees colder.

"Sure, whatever you say." Belphie glares back at Satan.

"Please don't fight guys. Lucifer will only get mad and he is already on the edge." Levi meekly tries to calm them down.

Both demons sigh and pick at their food.

You feel sweat on your back and just start to eat. "This is really good." It's pretty surprising.

"Well duh, it's your favorite after all." Levi giggles.

You look confused at him. He is the 2nd one to mention that.

"Don't mind him, this meal is just popular among angels. Isn't that right Satan?" Belphie shoots daggers at Satan.

"Yeah, that's right." Satan glares back.

"Ah yeah… t-that's right…s-sorry I'm being dumb again d-d-don't mind me, nothing to see here." Levi wildly flails his arms around.

"I see, but you guys really say some strange stuff sometimes." You can't help but feel a bit suspicious.

"That's because we are bad demons and if you don't watch out we are going to gobble you right up." Belphie is obviously being sarcastic, at least you hope he is.

"Don't be weird, Belphie. We would never eat you! " Satan is very stern when he says that.

"Yeah, that would just be wrong. You just got ba - I mean you only arrived. It's not like you have ever been here…" Levi starts to stumble over his own words again. Only to get interrupted by Satan and Belphie.

"SHUT UP LEVI!" Both of them yell at the same time.

Levi immediately pipes up. At least the two have something they agree on?

"It would be very bad if you would eat me." You aren't sure what else to add.

"Well in that case just stay away from me." Belphie seems awfully cold to you.

Maybe he hates angels after all?

It hurts quite a bit.

Satan shakes his head and Levi keeps on picking at his food until he suddenly stands up and runs off.

You are confused about why he just ran off and look confused at Satan. "Don't mind Levi, he is antisocial." Satan then focuses back on his own meal.

The rest of the lunch is rather awkward.

You just finish your meal and then trot back to class.

There you are surprised to find Beel. “Ah Beel, is your game already over?”

“Yeah, the other team just went home crying. I was being nice but then I got hungry and just made a good 1000 points. So they ran away.” Beel shrugs as if this was nothing.

“Wow, that's very impressive.” You can't imagine it to be honest.

“Haha, it was nothing really.” Beel is sheepishly laughing.

“Well, now where Beel is back you can share books with him,” Belphie states coldly and sits down.

“I don't mind but did something happen between you two?” Beel seems confused.

“Nothing happened. I just don't want them closer than they have to be.” Belphie speaks curtly and barely even looks at you.

“Belphie don't be mean. They have done nothing to deserve this.” Beel sighs, his expression is complicated.

“I don't mind sitting over here instead.” You don't want the situation to get even worse. You quietly get to your place right next to Beel.

“We will talk later about this Belphie but don't be mean.” Beel sounds very serious.

It's nice that Beel stands up for you, even when you don't fully understand Belphies’ issue. You only know that it really hurts.

Belphie sighs and lays on his desk, ending the discussion.

Beel shakes his head. “I apologize ... he has been through a lot. He doesn't mean it. Just give him some time. We all just need to get used to this.” Beel breathes heavily but his apology seems genuine.

“It's alright. I'm an angel it must be very strange for you all to live with me and then the room I'm staying in...it's also somehow hard for you...We all get used to this eventually. At least I hope we will.” You aren't sure what to say or what to feel right now. You certainly will try at least.

“It's just that you...it's not because of the room or that you are an angel...it's just you know hard…” Beel has a grim expression on his face.

“I don't understand but I will do my best I promise.” You are sure that you can solve this somehow.

“And that is exactly how we even ended up in this situation…” Belphie grumbles.

“Belphie!” Beel glares at Belphie.

Belphie just looks away and places his head on his arms, hiding his face on his desk.

“Please don't mind him, just give him some space.” Beels face twists, he must hide a lot of pain.

“It's alright we have a lot of time ahead of us to get to know each other better.” You give Beel a light smile. There are no bridges that are built in one day.

Beel nods a little and the class starts again.

Whatever happened surely created a big impact on all of them.

You try not to mind it and move forward but it still weighs on your heart and mind.

You try to just focus on the classes for the rest of the day and then quietly head home with the twins.

Somehow today's events still pester your mind so you decide to pay Simeon and Luke a visit.

You give them a quick heads up, luckily they are free.

Simeon picks you up at the entrance of their dorm. The damage that has been taken is still very visible. You wonder what made Satan this angry?

“Welcome, let's go to our room. So we can talk in private. Luke made sweets. He is very excited to see you. Even when it's only been a day.” Simeon giggles.

You smile, imagining the excited Luke running around, making sweets. “Thank you, Simeon. I hope that I don't bug you.”

“Nonsense. You are always welcome. Our room might as well be your room.” Simeon smiles gently.

“You are always being so nice to me Simeon. I wonder how I deserve such an honor.” You never found a reason for his niceness. He is truly an angel in every sense of the word.

“Don't think about it too much. Just know that you certainly deserve it and don't forget that you are basically my cute little student.” He giggles lightly.

You remember how much he taught you and nod. “I just hope that I can live up to such high praise.”

“There is no need for that, keep being you and here we are.” Simeon stops in front of a room.

You can see two names on the door. Luke and Simeon.

Simeon opens the door. You can tell that they already decorated it to their liking. Then you see Luke, who is practically beaming at you. You smile kindly at him.

“Come on in.” Luke welcomes you with a big smile and you step inside.

Simeon closes the door behind you and joins you and Luke on the table. It seems that they have already prepared for you since the table is filled with sweet treats and you can see a pot of tea.

The sight alone makes you smile.

You get served a cup of tea and have a sip of it. It fills you with pleasant warmth.

"This is so good. Is this tea from the Demon Realm?" You've never tasted anything like it before.

"That is right. Barbatos taught me how to make it." Luke is rightfully proud.

"It's great you're getting along with demons. I'm a bit envious." You smile and cast your eyes into your cup. Giving a small sigh.

"I don't get along with all of the demons!" Luke seems slightly offended.

Simeon gives him a slightly delighted giggle.

"Just take it as a compliment Luke, and you'll surely be able to connect with the brothers soon enough. This isn't a race, just get to know them and find common ground." Simeon provides you with his advice, in his usual kind manner.

"I know. I don't plan to let this get me down but today I kinda butt heads with one of them and now I wonder what I can do to fix this." Making another small sigh, recalling Belphies' cold remarks.

"Did you have an argument with one of them? Who was it?" Simeon seems mildly surprised.

"It was Belphie. It was mainly my fault. I think I said some hurtful things." You still feel guilty about it.

"You can only make an honest apology and hope that you two can make up. You should reflect on what exactly hurt him or made him lash out. I don't think that everything is lost between you two. I'm sure you can move past this with some effort." Simeon smiles kindly.

His words give you much to think about.

"You are right. Thank you, Simeon. I will think about this. I surely will find an opportunity to have a proper conversation with Belphie." You won't give up that much, that's for sure.

"Don't feel bad! I'm sure it was Belphies’ fault anyway." Luke tries to cheer you up.

"I know you mean well but I was definitely insensitive." You give Luke a sad smile.

"It's alright. Don't beat yourself up. I just want to apologize and try to move on. We all make mistakes." Simeon pats your shoulder, as a sign of support.

You nod. "You are right. I will apologize to him after dinner. He is bound to show up for that." You motivate yourself.

"That sounds like a great plan. Let me know how it goes." Simeon smiles in an encouraging way.

"I'm sure it will work out just fine but now let's have some cake." Luke smiles and you nod.

The desserts really do look great and some sugar sounds great right now.

You indulge in a few sweet treats, under the eyes of the beaming Luke and the smiling Simeon.

It's a very enjoyable time.

You return to your room and finish your homework and read a little bit before dinner time.

Sadly, Belphie is nowhere to be found at dinner time. It's pretty disappointing.

You decide to talk to Beel instead.

"Do you know where Belphie is?"

"He is asleep in our room. I think he feels kinda bad today." Beel replies in a friendly manner.

"Oh, I see. Is it because of me?" You feel a pang of guilt.

"Oh no, I don't think it's because of you… It's just been a lot for him." Beel doesn't meet your eyes.

You wonder if he is lying or just trying to protect everyone's feelings.

"I see… do you think that there is anything I can do for him?" You don't want to push too much but still show that you care.

"You are very nice but I think that he just needs space. I think he is feeling guilty too." Beel looks at you like he is begging you to understand.

"Okay, I'll gladly give him space… Could you just tell him to get better from me?" You understand that Belphie needs time to get used to you being here but you want to make sure that Belphie knows that you aren't mad at him or anything.

"Sure, I will let him know and just talk to him tomorrow. Until then he will be better again." Beel smiles and nods.

"Thank you, Beel. Oh, I have some treats from Luke can you give one to Belphie? You can have the rest." You hand Beel a small bag with a few treats.

Maybe these will help to smooth things over?

Beel beams at the sweets. "It will be hard but… I will give Belphie at least one." Beel looks like he is already struggling to hold back.

"I appreciate it, Beel." You smile at him.

Then you head to the library, for some studying.

There is so much you still have to learn. Especially now with your new school books.

You arrive in the library and find Satan sitting there, with a stack of books in front of him.

Since you don't want to bother him you quietly head over to the shelves.

"Good evening. Do you need anything specific? I have most of the layout here memorized." Satan looks up and has a small smile on his face.

"Good evening Satan. Sorry I didn't mean to bother you. I just want to read up on some of the demon history and maybe some other things. I read the ones we have in heaven of course but I want to read them from the demons point of view as well." You politely smile.

Satan lays his book on the table and gets up." Give me a moment." He heads over to some shelves.

You watch him a bit stunned, as Satan quickly scans the shelves and then takes a thick book off the shelf.

"This should be the best book to start. It's a comprehensive guide to the history of the Devildom. It's very helpful to gain a good understanding of the basics." Satan proceeds to carry the heavy book to the table.

"That is very nice of you Satan." You smile kindly at him. It's a bit unexpected for you that he would go out of his way for you. Especially since he was so strange earlier.

"Just see it as my way of apologizing. I know lunch was a bit awkward. I mean it was mainly my brother's fault but I know that I wasn't too nice either." Satan seems to be very troubled somehow.

"In that case, I gladly accept the apology, but I think it was my fault that Belphie was in a bad mood. I hurt him more than I initially thought." You sigh. You really need to be more careful with your words.

"Don't let that bother you. He is always like this. He will eventually get back to being normal. Belphie is just a bit prickly sometimes." Satan doesn't seem to be concerned at all.

"I still want to apologize to him when I see him again." You can't help yourself, it's just your nature.

“You have such a kind heart you need to be more careful or you will get badly hurt.” Satan looks a bit troubled.

You can tell that he is sincere. “I will keep that in mind Satan.”

“No matter how it might look, we all want you to feel at home here. There are just some circumstances that make it rather difficult.” Satan shows a rare somber expression.

“I wonder if you will ever tell me about those circumstances.” You give Satan a sad look.

“Trust me I would if I could.” He smiles slightly and you want to believe him.

You aren't sure what he can't tell you but it obviously weighs on him, on all of the brothers.

Somehow you want to make them feel better. It's so strange that you feel this way since you have just met them all.

You get to read your heavy book and Satan goes back to his own reading.

It's quite pleasant.

Sometime later your reading gets interrupted.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I'd like to talk to you for a little bit." It's Lucifer. He speaks in a calm manner.

"Sure, let me just put this book back." You don't have any clue what he wants from you but of course, you do as told.

"I can do that for you. It's very heavy." Satan doesn't acknowledge Lucifer.

"That's nice but don't worry I got this. I'm stronger than I look." You don't have many issues lifting the book.

"Ah yes… you are stronger than a human." Satan turns grim for a moment.

You don't know why he said this. It's a bit confusing. You put the book back in its place. "Have a good night Satan." You give him a light smile.

"You too. Sleep well." Satan nods.

You turn to Lucifer, who is still waiting at the door.

He doesn't say a word to Satan. It's a pretty icy atmosphere.

Lucifer leads you to his office.

"Come sit down. I will make us something to drink. Coffee or tea?" Lucifer heads over to his desk.

You never expected to be offered tea by the infamous Lucifer.

He seems surprisingly casual.

"Tea please." You look around his office. It looks just like you pictured it. You decide to sit down.

Lucifer follows after you, placing your cup in front of you. "It's devil black tea. I'm sure it will be to your liking."

You wonder why all these demons seem to know your preferences but you aren't one to argue.

"Thank you, Lucifer." You take a small sip. It's really good. This is the 2nd time that they are right. A strange coincidence?

"So, now to what I wanted to talk to you about. First of all, I hope that you find everything to your liking so far. I know it's quite a lot and my brothers are a handful but knowing that you are an angel I'm sure you are doing just fine." Lucifer seems to be correcting himself right in the middle there.

You wonder if he meant to say something else.

"I don't have any complaints. I'm sure with giving time I will become friends with everyone." You give him a determined look.

Lucifer gives you a small laugh. "That is pretty much what I expected to hear from you."

Then his face shifts. "I'm sure you have already noticed that my brothers acting strangely around you...the whole debacle with the room made this unnecessarily cruel to them." Lucifer sighs. "I will be blunt here in the room...it belonged to someone very important to me and my brothers. They are no longer with us… it's still a sore topic for them and us. You must forgive them for acting strange around you. I'm sure they will eventually get used to this." Lucifer speaks slowly, every word seems to hurt him.

It's just as you suspected. "I'm so sorry…" You don't even know what to say. You feel a stabbing pain in your heart.

"It's painful but I assure you that it's not really about you. Just know that I will do my best to make this as easy as possible for all of us. Including you." Lucifer seems to try to make you feel better.

You appreciate his efforts.

"Can I ask you a question about the owner of the room?" You have a suspicion about them.

"Sure, go ahead." Lucifer's face seems to harden.

"Were they human?" What Belphie said earlier echoes in your head.

Lucifer takes a slightly relieved breath. "Yes, that is right. They started out as an exchange student but over time they became… an important part of our family." Lucifer has a smile on his face, it looks calm and painful.

"Thank you for telling me." Some of the puzzle pieces fall into place for you. This explains Belphies’ reaction. You feel guilty.

Lucifer looks into his cup. You wonder what he is thinking.

"I hope this answers your questions for now." Lucifer suddenly seems very tired.

"Yes, I apologize for being insensitive." You probably shouldn't ask anything else.

"You had the right to know. Now let's call this a night. It's getting late." Lucifer seems to be done with this topic.

You can only nod. "You are right. I will head back to my room. Have a good night Lucifer."

"Yes, sleep well." Lucifer has a shadow on his face but he still gives you a polite smile.

You smile back and then head to your room.

Thoughts swirl in your head until you pass out.

#obey me #obey me fanfiction #obey me angel au #angel in hell #omswd #obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all

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honeyymistt · 3 years

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[1/2] hey, okay, it's me again. i feel like i'm treating you like an unpaid therapist but idk where to share this and how to get help (this is kinda lengthy, and i do apologise for that)

i think i'm running out of patience for myself on how to live with myself; all my favourite artists and fictional characters experience this same hollow loneliness but they just— keep going..... despite it all. i'm trying to keep busy with studying but that quickly led to an all-nighter and now i can't fall asleep despite my exhaustion. i think the goals i've had in mind for myself are too high, so i'm just going to spend the next week reading without shame or guilt and try to finally start learning russian. i don't really take care of my physical fitness bc i'm always tired and i feel like all my energy is spent on keeping in check with eating and taking care of my physical hygiene. i have so much time each day and yet at the end of the day i still feel like i did nothing even though i read and studied a lot. i just feel like i'm stagnated, still in my 16-year-old teenage mind bc i spent my youth numbing myself bc i couldn't stand my own thoughts. i havent talked to anyone really, besides my famil, in weeks, and i know loneliness is a common feeling most of us carry with us, but since i'm not very smart and don't know about a lot of things that matter, like history and art, i just feel so inadequate because all these people i look up to, and secretly aspire to be, are fundamentally different from me. they have rich inner lives even in times of despair, they know how to build their own lives in the rubble and just keep on going despite it all. i just feel like a shell of a human being (dramatic i know). i'm also aware that i'm highly privileged and don't have to worry about money and housing, etc. and i'm grateful for that but despite that I just hate myself and I wish I could be someone else and change; I've tried to over the past years but i never make any actual changes in my life? I don't want to die per se, I just don't want to keep on living like this.

[2/2] also, with the looming climate desaster and our world being ruled by capitalism i know a lot of worries and problems stem from that;;;; also i've had this very embarrassing conversation with my family a month ago; i was very drunk and ofc started talking about capitalism, etc. and lgbtq rights. they're very conservative, smart and well-read and i'm just the complete opposite— my point being, bc i feel so desperately lonely i'm trying to have these conversations with the people around me that are obviously only really meant to be had with close pals and not with 60 year olds who only care about the bootstrap theory etc. anyway my grandmother called me out on my bs and said "so what have you done in your life so far?" nothing. i shouldn't complain about other people, politics etc. and the patriarchal, white supremacist strucures around us bc i've never worked a day in my life...... it's just. i know she's right. but like i literally don't know how to hold conversations anymore and can never recall stuff i read accurately so i'm just talking shit the whole time. i'm so desperately trying to get their approval but i'm just not well-read and smart enough. i know being dumb is not the worst thing to be, i'm alive and living in a well-situated area, but it's the only thing i used to define myself with. my parents expected a lot of us as children and i couldn't deliver. so i pretty much forced them to stop pressuring me but i wish they did now. bc then i would be smart, worldly and have a bright future. i'm sorry for the long rambling. i also don't want to ruin your feed by my long asks...... anyway, if you have any advice i would be so glad to hear it. bc i feel like i'm going slightly insane. -💌 sorry for doing this <33 🤠 feel free to just delete this;;;

hi 💌-anon!!!

don't feel bad for sending this in. your long post is going to have a long answer and it ruining my feed is literally the last thing on my mind. if it bothers people, that's on them ;) similarly to the last ask you sent in, i kind of just pulled out a few things that you wrote and decided to give my perspective on it. i hope that reading some of my (very scrambled) thoughts will relax your mind and heart just a little bit. everything will be okay, i promise.

so the first thing that stood out to me was when you mentioned how all of your favorite fictional characters just keep on going when they feel lonely and i know how frustrating that can be because it's so glorified. they just keep going and then boom! things are better, right? i want you to remember that this is fiction and not an accurate representation of how hard the feeling of loneliness actually hits. so try not to compare yourself to your favorite character and beat yourself up if you're not dealing with loneliness as well as they did because everything in fiction is better and easier.

as for feeling exhausted because of the goals you've made for yourself, i know what you mean. i'm such a perfectionist and workaholic (i suffered from such bad burn out this year). i'm learning how to lower them as well. it's good to be ambitious. it's amazing to have big dreams and goals but you have to prepare yourself for setbacks and failure. so from now on, it's decided that you and me, are going to be accountability buddies. no more unrealistic goals and deadlines. i will hold you accountable, you will hold me accountable and we'll improve together 🤍

so you don't know about things like history and art and you claim that these are things that matter. but matter to who? are you genuinely intrigued by these things? if you are, then study it. read about it. ask questions. but if they just matter to your family, then i really don't think you need to know about these things extensively. it's always good to know things generally but if you aren't interested, then don't waste your time learning about it just to please others.

i could be completely wrong, but from what i understood from your message, you feel really lonely and you're starting to feel a bit stuck. you're surrounded by people who are different from you and that sometimes makes you feel suffocated because the conversations you want to have aren't wanted by others. the first thing i noticed in your message is that you repeatedly call yourself stupid or dumb. you need to stop that, okay? if you keep telling that to yourself, it will destroy a lot of opportunities for you. trust me, i know. you will turn down opportunities thinking that you're not smart enough for it but it's not true. you don't need to be smart to have a bright future. you can be creative, you can athletic, you can be selfless, you can be funny. maybe you just need to embrace who you are and trust that you will have a bright future by just being you. i'll tell you something: you don't need to be exactly like your family to have their success. you need a determination and a good work ethic. where do you start? stop underselling your intelligence. believe in yourself!!!

P.S i can tell that you're smart because your vocabulary is out of this world!!! and oh my god, can we talk about your punctuation? like bestie, you're ahead of the game. i also had to google what the bootstrap theory is. you are smarter than you give yourself credit for!!

another thing i would encourage you to do is to avoid "deep" conversations with your family. if your family is very conservative, there are going to be certain topics that they just won't understand and it might make you frustrated or feel misunderstood; it might make you feel more lonely. i would advise you to just stick to more lighthearted conversations with them. it's not that you don't know how to hold conversations, it's just that the people you're talking to aren't the right listeners.

my sweet 💌-anon, times like these are normal! we all feel lonely at times and i know it's tough and it's frustrating and you feel like nothing in your life is going to work out but i promise you, it will. the universe has it's way of doing that. if i could, i would give you the chance to see yourself the way i see you - full of potential, warm-hearted, and so so deserving of a good life filled with love, caring people and success. times are tough, but so are you. you haven't made it this far to only come this far!! remember that i'm here for you every step of the way and you can message me any time you need to. i will never delete it or ignore you. i love talking to you <3

#chat with honeyymistt #i’m SO sorry this took me SO LONG #but thank u for being patient #this is probably going to be the longest post i have but i literally don’t care hehe #we’ll get through this together #i love u #my new accountability buddy 🥰

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alyjojo · 2 years

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Love Reading 💙 - January 2023 - Pisces

Singles:

Overall energy: 7 Pentacles

How you will meet: Knight of Wands

How they will treat you: 9 Swords

Long-term Potential: Queen of Wands rev

This one is no good Pisces, they’ve probably already played you or have strung you along before, because you’ve been waiting around on them to come back around in the first place and manifest something with you. You have high hopes & wishes that you’re placing on someone that doesn’t get it and can’t be that for you. They’re Knight of Wands, someone very passionate and exciting, action oriented, spontaneous…and probably temporary. They’re not making any moves toward you except for some passionate rendezvous here and there, if that. and could even feel like they’ve been clear about their intentions. You’re probably hoping something grows deeper than that. How they treat you is driving you crazy, they’ve got other options and you know it, you kinda beat yourself up about it, and it’s really hitting your self confidence because you’re wondering why others have more lasting potential than you do. They don’t, and it’s not you 🙏 Long term is you *flipping your shit* because you’re left alone, and they’re off with someone else…3 Swords. Protect your heart with this one, they’re not worth it 😞

Messages -

Their side:

- I can’t change.

- You confuse me.

Your side:

- How could I forgive you?

- You’re not the only one they’ve played 💯

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Gemini & Virgo

Couples:

Overall energy: 9 Wands rev

Current: 5 Swords

Challenge: The High Priestess

Potential: The World

Your person is a bit of a snake 🐍 They’ve pulled infidelity on their side, there are major conflicts between you. I don’t see 3 Swords, no Devil, I’m not sure how far this goes but they haven’t been totally loyal and you’re fed tf up with their crap. These options are probably blocked now, or that’s the fight, they gotta get rid of these hoes, whichever gender. You’ve pulled mind games on your side. I can’t decipher head games so, you’ll know what that is. You’re sick of their crap but aren’t totally sure you want to abandon the relationship. You have some nasty arguments about other options existing and whatever else this person keeps hidden from you. The challenge is secrets and hidden bs within an otherwise very happy and stable relationship. Or was. This person has probably apologized, that’s here. The potential is a toss up 50/50. Some are willing to forgive their person, leaving the drama and past behind. Or you’re done, you’re not giving them anything, and you’re bailing, bye ✌️ Your call.

Messages -

Their side:

- Infidelity

- I don’t want anyone else.

Your side:

- I waited too long as it is.

- Mind Games 🤯

Oracles -

Their side: If nothing is moving in your life, you’re in a desert period. Use this time to perfect your patience. Things will get better soon.

Your side: You are unique. There is no one in the universe quite like you.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Virgo & Aquarius

#pisces tarot reading #love reading #singles reading #couples reading #january 2023 #Pisces #tarot

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msexplorer · 2 years

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#messages that hit home #universal messages aren’t bs #msexplorer #me #msexplorer's thoughts today

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #367

“i should warn you that you may fuck me, but chances are i’m gonna fuck you over”

Where was the last place you went for vacation? The beach. When was the last time you wore makeup? Halloween. Do you watch soaps or drama series? If so, which ones? Not currently. What’s your favourite tomato variety? I hate tomatoes. What was your very first pet like? Dad had a dog named Trigger when I was born, but I have no memory of her, so I'm excluding her. I consider our first family pet to be Chance, a cat my mom took in after finding her literally in the trash. She was... god, incredible. She was a loyal friend, and I can imagine no greater mother than she was (she legit fought off a rottweiler head-on to protect her kittens). She was so smart, so gentle, and just simply amazing. I'll always miss her. What was the best school project you remember doing? Looking back, despite the fact it TERRIFIED me before, that would be my senior project presentation. It was about snake misconceptions and fallacies, so I made a slideshow to present to the special ed class. I made drawings for them to color, word searches, all that kind of stuff. They were just the sweetest and seemed really into it. What’s your favourite type of fish to eat? None. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I really... don't like thinking about this. Like I'm weak enough now at 25, I can't imagine how my, say, 60s would be. I hope and just about pray that my physical health will improve, but I'm just going to exclude that part entirely from this answer. Personality-wise and such, I have a feeling I'll be the quiet and sweet kind, the one that loves her (hopeful) spouse like crazy, and comes most alive on Halloween if I live in a place where children come trick-or-treating. I imagine I would LOVE that. I'd love to be the type that goes on morning jogs to help stay spry. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin and Chester Bennington might be tied. Both were so, so sudden. Steve was like, invincible to my childhood eyes, and when I heard about Chester's death, I thought it was just a sick rumor. Two amazing people that died way too soon. What’s the craziest colour you’d dye your hair? That would depend on personal opinions. I want to dye my hair LOTS of colors though, if that tells you anything. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus. It's a pretty short game if you know what you're doing, and it's super relaxing to me and just so goddamn pretty to look at. Every time I've played it has just been a pleasant experience. Do you like meatloaf? Yeah, it's fine. How about Meatloaf? I know who he is, but I've never really listened to his music. Do you take time to do charitable work? If so, what do you do? No. ;_; Especially with all the free time I have, I really should... What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Okay, don't ask, but if I for a SECOND see that commercial of Mr. Clean dancing while he's cleaning, I will die because of memories. What is something you hope you will never inherit from a specific relative? Diabetes. It runs heavily in my family. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name: The Human Centipede. No. Thank you. Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. What’s your dearest souvenir? The stuffed moose I got at Cabela's during a visit to Ohio. I named him Brownie, and he was my "childhood plushie" we all have. Is there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? Not in the actual area I live in, but there are DEFINITELY places where it's a pigsty of distasteful shit. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn’t count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No, that stuff doesn't interest me. What’s the most ecological thing you do? We recycle, and I also use metal straws. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. There is no fucking way I could do it. What’s your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I like Clue just because of the mystery-solving factor, and I think it's kinda cool how you can think ahead and use other's findings to your own advantage to win the game pretty early. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Some German. It's gotten pretty weak with neglect, though. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you’ve been? This is a complicated answer that I just don't feel like elaborating on. What’s the most freeing thing you’ve ever done? Letting Jason go. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? No, and I'm not interested. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? Honeysuckles. What has been your worst restaurant experience? Well, it's a fast food restaurant, but lemme tell you about my vegetarian encounter with Burger King. I ordered their veggie burger. Which they have. It's not a secret. These idiots gave me a bun with tomato and lettuce, and I think mayo on it, after sounding confused when Mom was ordering for me. Mom went back in there of course to tell them, and oh god was the manager pissed, lol. I got my veggie burger in the end. What’s the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Some sexually inappropriate jokes can still get me sadly, lol. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? Not literally, but boy do I think depression counts. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else’s? If so, why? Y E P. I can't tell you why, I just... do it. I look at other's successes and am just like, "Why aren't I there yet?", and beat myself up about being a failure. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Brussel sprouts, asparagus, runny eggs, many other things because I'm just mega picky. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Just the spray paint kind that vendors like to do at the beach and stuff. I don't remember any I got, though. What does your favourite mug look like? It's black with a Markiplier quote on it, given to me by Sara. :') Do you ever read other people’s survey answers? Yeah! Friends', anyway. I love learning all the obscure things about them. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, specifically early morning, because it's better for my depression. Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? A follower that isn't afraid to speak up when I'm really against something. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? I've been really into "7empest" by Tool lately, and the synthwave edit of "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you watched The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, who was your favourite character? I don't remember it well, but I think I liked the butler. Was there even a butler? Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') Do you have any plants in your home? No. If you wear makeup, what’s the most outrageous colour you use? I only ever use black. What was the last photograph you took? My cat being adorable while sleeping. <3 Have you ever submitted a video to Funniest Home Videos? No. What was the first sport you learned how to play? I want to say soccer? I absolutely hated it. Do you have a headache at the moment? Yes, actually. I've really been attacked by the Covid shot side effects. Are your parents still together? No, thank god. What was the last hot food you ate? I made a chicken and I think pesto (some Italian noodles, idk) Healthy Choice bowl for dinner last night. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. :( Do you ever feel afraid people will question your sanity? I'm sure people have before, and back then? Rightfully so. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? Never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? Always. It's so weird how it's gotten worse with time since leaving school, even though I write... Were you a straight A student in math? Yeah, no. I usually got Bs or Cs. What is your favorite shade of yellow? Pastel. I don't really like yellow. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Have a stable job. Are you afraid of getting yelled at? YES. Do you feel a connection to the moon? It's not something I think about, so not really, but I do believe all things in the universe are connected in some way. We are simply a part of nature, as all else is. What does your heart long for? Contentment in who I am and where I am in life. I know I also miss being in love. Do you know what your purpose in life is? We have no innate purpose; we make our own, and I want mine to be to show others that there is always hope for yourself in yourself, and also to spread the message of love of all animals. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year I didn't. I really should change that this go around. Have you ever seen a fox? Yes! They're a kind of rare sight here sadly, so when I had the opportunity to photograph a fox tragically as roadkill, it was a photographic experience I won't forget. God, I wanted to pet it (I obviously didn't), but I did talk to it about how beautiful (s)he was as I got some shots. I never had a harder time leaving one of those angels I've taken pictures of. Do you find Halloween fun or scary? FUN!!!!!! Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? Not at all. What do the trees look like where you live? I mean, there's a variety, but the staple that you see literally everywhere are pine trees. What is your dream vacation? Somewhere with mountains, clear lakes, cool weather, beautiful and various wildlife... What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? The zoo in the 5th grade. It was the one occasion I got to see meerkats. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I lived for them. Do you find museums boring or interesting? I find science museums to be very, very fascinating. Art ones are great, too. What are three issues you are passionate about? LGBT rights, the pro-choice movement, and wildlife conservation, to name a few. Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all. What size is your bed? Queen. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? When we were experimenting with my Klonopin dosage, I learned that 3mg was enough to knock me on my ASS. Do you like bath bombs? I mean they're pretty, but I wouldn't waste money on 'em. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? Yikes, a looooooot. But this also depends on what you think qualifies as "small." Most of my favorite "small" YTers are tarantula keepers or sub-1M let's players. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier obviously, Snake Discovery, Good Mythical Morning (even if I don't watch them anymore, they are veeery dear to my heart and I will always support them), Sam & Colby... Again, there's a lot. When you don't watch TV and YT instead, you really get attached to a lot of them. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Would you believe me if I said Pussycat Dolls? haha Do you like Disney movies? Um, DUH. Were you ever in the popular crowd? No. Have you ever used an outhouse? UGH, at like childhood sports games, yes. I could NEVER nowadays, oh my god. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I have the creativity to, but not the dedication. Are there any foods that make you gag? Beans, for one. I just canNOT with them. It's a completely involuntary reaction. Have you ever had blonde highlights in your hair? I think I did? Who was the last person you video-chatted with? The lady who was seeing if I qualified for TMS therapy. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Definitely not, I love those. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I don't actually want one, but if I did, I'd go to a serious professional to get THE Darkiplier smile. :') If u know u know. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you think half blonde/half dark brown hair is attractive? It looks great on some people, but it's not my favorite combo.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''leave a scar'' by marilyn manson

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unseelie-bitch · 4 years

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Season 1 Episode 4: Some Wrecked Angel [Part One]

Whom the fuck is Callum?? Is that the murdered assistant guy?

Callum IS the assistant

He's been dead for days lol

Oh damn they found Callum's magic residue body. Yikes

Beatrix is Preoccupied with Bloom

I'm so uncomfortable with the "take her skin" line. Please stop

Riven/Beatrix fully only exists because they needed Beatrix to talk through her thoughts. You know how the OG show got around that? THE FUCKING TRIX

Leave the child ALONE

Everyone's staring at Bloom lol

Why is everyone being weird about Bloom being a changeling?? As far as the canon has established, a changeling is legit just like any other fairy except... raised by human parents

Aisha keeps cutting Bloom off which is a joke. They CLEARLY hate each other

Oop is Stella's mother coming here?

Why can't he write friendships

Love Beatrix's changeling BS

Terra should NOT get back with Dane. Please

So after Sky's whole speech... he's acting no different towards Stella. Right

Stella's mother has ARRIVED (with far less fanfare or adoring crowds than I was led to expect)

He went so hard with the """feminism""" message that it's coming off SO anti-feminist. What was with Terra's line about the patriarchy??????? I would react EXACTLY like her dad and brother if some dick that hurt someone I cared about walked in. The way they portrayed it isn't patriarchal, it's just... protective. Not even negatively. And then Terra brings up the patriarchy which makes feminism into a joke so FUCK. OFF.

YES Terra has self-respect I'm so glad

Her dad laughing is ICONIC

Terra is snooping in her dad's mystery project and I support her

"Far more low maintainance" perhaps, but you cut off a child who was just trying to talk to you so... pretty on brand so far Queen Lightbulb

WOAH SNOOP RING I WANT ONE

Sky that was so aggressive wtf. SLAMMING the door shut and the way he spoke? Wtf

Even RIVEN was wayyyyy less aggressive in a very similar situation with Beatrix so. No excuse

"Boss goals" ugh

FakeMusa accidently snooping on FakeFaragonda's emotions is pretty iconic ngl

"I was born in 2004" says the clearly adult woman. Fuck off she's not 16. She's not. In no universe could Bloom's actress pass for a child

Sky immitating Sword Dad is like the second actual teenage thing anyone's done so far

So Sky's been confirmed to have been at Alfea his whole life. So, SURELY he, Terra and Sam would be childhood friends. And yet, they clearly aren't. I call bullshit

Oh shit Riven and Beatrix found them. That's gonna get mis-reported to Stella

Stop saying "rubbish"

"The more you say no, the more she wants it. Give in" ew. Ew. Ew. No. Stop it. Stop it. Stop. It.

On the bright side the line about consent didn't miss the mark! Kind of wish it wasn't delivered by the obvious morally corrupt villain though. Mixed messages and all that

"I know the video was extra" it fucking wasn't and the writer would know that if he's ever met a human person

Also you aren't a bystander if you actively posted it. That isn't how bystanders work

Clearly this writer is an ace at "show not tell". He may have said women can fight their own battles with Terra, but when Bloom actively TELLS him to drop it, Sky decides to physically move her out the way and go after Riven, showing that the White Knight complex is more important than the opinions of the ACTUAL PERSON INVOLVED. Fuck offfffff

The acting and dialogue are just so bad

Also stop blaming Beatrix for Riven's behaviour he literally hasn't changed

Also also fuck off Sky, you were completely fine with all the inappropriate sexual comments he was making about Bloom but ESPECIALLY Stella, and THIS is where you draw the line? What the FUCK

Sky that is EXACTLY what's going on

Cue Sky getting mad at Stella for exposing Bloom's changeling secret

Oop Musa has parent backstory?

Can Musa and Sam have one scene alone without making out? Like. Please

Beatrix is Gathering Information so well and I support her

Why is there a war room in a school??? WHY WAS A SCHOOL THE BASE OF OPERATIONS THAT MAKES NO SENSE

#fate spoilers #fate watch #fate: the winx saga

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 4 years

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[Part 1/5] Hi! I don’t know if I am depressed, but i’m unfortunately having suicidal thoughts because of my identity (not in danger on acting on them, just death ideation but it makes me feel awful). I fear what my family would think of me if they knew I was bisexual. It’s not easy to think that, even when I know I wouldn’t be disowned or kicked out or anything else, their perception of me will probably change.💜

[Pt2/5] I will no longer be the “golden child” of the family and maybe they won’t even compliment me any longer. I am aware that, if that ends up being the case, i’m better off without people who don’t accept me for who I am, but it’s still an extremely painful thought because I don’t want to leave my family or lose their love. I’m not prepared for that and i’m not sure I ever will, but that might be a dramatisation on my part. 💜

Pt.3/5 I dont have any queer friends irl that I know of and I still don’t feel comfortable enough to tell anyone either. I have a therapist but I don’t feel comfy talking to her about this bc she said “oh yeah they want to be inclusive 🙄” some years ago about Tinder letting you choose your potential partners’ genders and also I live with my parents so I would fear that they could overhear the convo (but what i first said is my main motive for not telling her)💜

Pt 4/5 I don’t feel comfortable seeking another therapist now bc 1) pandemic 2) i dont want my parents to ask why I want that and also I still dont feel comfortable seeking for help irl because that’d make this more “real” i suppose. It’s very hard to embrace the reality that i’m not what I was supposed to be, even when I realise that type of thinking is BS. 💜

Pt5/5 Is there any way to cope with this better? I have an online friend to whom I talk to daily and they know im bi but i dont want to overwhelm them. I just don’t know how to cope with this. I can’t help but to wish I was “normal” sometimes. Everyone talks about being proud of their identity and I wish I could relate. I want to be me and I want to be proud too, but sometimes I am just distressingly worried about my future bc of who i am. 💜

You pretty coherently described an experience that I think a lot of queer people can relate to one way or another. If you read the message I replied to before yours for example you’ll see there are also some similarities. That is to say: you’re not alone. Your perception of “everone being proud of their identity” is a very skewed image of queerness. Of course there isn’t one universal queer experience but there is often only these two narratives: either you are miserable and hate yourself or you have the magical epiphany and are the most flamboyantly queer who doesn’t give any fucks about homophobic opinions.

Most queer experiences and coming-out processes (which includes self-acceptance) lies somewhere in the middle. Those super proud queers you think of? They probably went through some hard times. They were probably scared of coming out - at least to some people. They might’ve had doubts and fears. Queer pride is often a way to show to the world “look how far I’ve come” and not a “look at me, I never had any problems about being queer, I just magically accepted myself”. Obviously I don’t like it when suffering is portrayed as an essential part of being queer. Suffering isn’t and shouldn’t be considered inherent to queerness. But try to look at those “proud queer people” with more nuance and realise that you don’t know their story. Try not to think “I will never get to this point” but instead “who knows what shit they have been through but they got out of it and now they are out and proud”. Try to use it as an inspiration and not as some unachievable goal.

If you suspect that your therapist isn’t queer-friendly then I would recommend you try to seek out some kind of additional queer counsel. Maybe you have a local queer resource center that you can contact. A lot of them offer email or chat counselling as well because they know that talking on the phone can be risky when living with family.

Also try to get into contact with more queer people online, for example by checking out certain tags on tumblr or joining a discord server where you can talk to others, share experiences, vent and also just have some light-hearted conversations about your sexuality.

You know, your message reads incredibly self-aware to me and that’s a very commendable thing. You know pretty well why you are feeling the way you do and you can identify which aspects of your living situation and circumstances make life hard for you right now. Don’t lose sight of that. Remind yourself that your negative feelings aren’t your fault. And you will see better days. Even if it means being patient now and fighting your way forward day by day until you can move out, be free, be yourself... you’ll get there.

And as for your family accepting you? Maybe they will one day. People can change, they can grow and learn. There is no guarantee of course but it could happen.

Maddie

#Anonymous

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befitandchase · 4 years

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Would it be possible for you to make a post about your meteorology experience? I’m 24 and want to go back to school to study meteorology but I feel like I’m too old now

Oh hell nah you aren’t too old!

I was 25 when I started going back to school for meteorology. At the time, I had just started my own business the year prior and had gone storm chasing in the summer with the community college I ended up at, College of DuPage.

If you’re serious about getting into meteorology, I’d start there because the program is ranked #1 in the nation for community colleges. The amount of courses offered is far beyond what you’d find anywhere else. I was literally taking what amounts to junior level classes as a freshman/sophomore.

In all honesty, though, for me it was all about how passionate my professor, Paul Sirvatka, was. (Google him. He’s fucking awesome.) He made you wanna go to class everyday. That’s how good he is. I’ve known him 11 years now, and literally call him Weather Dad.

So, here’s the thing about my journey through meteorology. I started in 2009 and didn’t graduate with my AS until 2016. At first, having my own business allowed me to take the morning classes important to the program. I was lucky in that aspect because I was able to take all my meteorology courses about 2 at a time until I had to make the decision to shut down my business and start looking for a job in order to continue making money. By that time, all I had left were the gen ed classes I could take at night.

I’m sure you’re wondering what classes I was taking. Here’s the list:

Intro to Meteorology

Climate & Global Change

Severe & Unusual Weather

Weather Analysis and Forecasting I & II

Advanced Weather Analysis and Forecasting III & IV

Weather Impacts & Preparedness (you can get a certificate in Weather Hazards & Preparedness in conjunction with the Criminal Justice and Geography programs with this class and all the others on this list)

Severe Weather Analysis

Mesoscale Meteorology

Intermediate Meteorology

Introduction to Thunderstorm Lab (aka Storm Chasing I)

Thunderstorm Lab (aka Advanced Storm Chasing II)

If you’d like the course descriptions, check out the NexLab website. It’ll be under Academics.

And yes, that’s a LOT of courses for a community college to offer, which tells you just how much passion the department has for its program.

The NexLab website in general is one of the top resources used in the weather/meteorology community. (And I’m just gonna brag a little that my background in graphic design has allowed me to help come up with color schemes for certain products and create the graphics for the now unfortunately defunct iOS app.)

It’s a solid program, one that’s going to teach you more than you’d expect and help you breeze through your junior and senior level classes at any university with a meteorology program. While that’s an experience I haven’t yet had, all my friends who have gone on to 4 year universities have all said the same thing: they knew more about meteorology than their peers because of this program.

So, what have I been doing with this? Storm chasing, mostly. I decided not to get my BS because I absolutely suuuuuuck at math. (I barely scraped by in Calc I with a passing D in order to get my AS.) But here’s the thing: I’m a damn good forecaster. I might suck at math, but give me a weather model, current data maps, colored pencils, and an hour, and I’ll give you a chase target for the day. With a string a great forecasts under my belt this season alone, that’s the one thing I’m confident about.

I hope that helps you make a more informed decision about pursuing meteorology later in life. If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to message me. I am a massive weather nerd. (Ask @deckerstarareotp and she’ll tell you about the other day when I started dropping knowledge on humidity while we were talking.)

#chase replies #meteorology #my meteorology degree #college of dupage #nexlab #storm chasing #weather

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5hining-aus · 5 years

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SHINee As High School Teachers

So I got a request asking for the guys as different types of teachers and, since I’ve actually had the idea for a while (kinda convinced that the requester is a mind reader ngl) I figured that I’d start off with them as HS teachers. I had some fun with this and threw in a few little things from my own high school days as well. Enjoy!

Jinki - Chemistry Teacher

So you know all those videos that show teachers doing super cool experiments with their students? He’s one of those teachers

He’s a pretty calm teacher most of the time, but may the gods have mercy on your soul if you mess around in the lab

Lab safety is his #1 concern, like if you aren’t wearing the proper gear then you are out of there

The only time his students have ever seen him even slightly raise his voice was when the class’s resident asshole decided to pretend to pour something on their lab partner

It was a harmless solution (the more volatile stuff is reserved for his upper-level honours classes) but still, it was more the principle of the act than anything else

100% has made coffee on a Bunsen burner

Also, always has a different coffee mug, like nobody ever sees him with the same mug twice. The only exceptions are the mugs that he’s gotten as gifts from his graduating classes (which are displayed on their own little handmade rack when not in use)

He has a tradition of teaching his graduating classes how to make flamethrowers (but shh, administration doesn’t need to know that)

Another tradition (albeit, an unofficial one) is that, on the first day of class every year, he’ll trip over THE SAME FLOOR TILE. It’s not even broken or anything, yet he still trips over it

He actually has a Doctorate and could be teaching at the University-level, but he decided to teach High School so he could try to get more young people interested in the sciences. It worked and a lot of his former students who went into science-related fields attribute their decision to go into said fields to him

He almost cried when one of the students from the very first class he ever taught came to him one day and told him that they had decided to go for a PhD in Chemistry because of him. And you bet he was there cheering them on when they went in to defend their thesis

He has like almost an entire wall of his classroom that is dedicated to his current and former students’ scientific achievements

Has a reputation for being a crazy scientist, but pretty much everyone who’s ever been in his class absolutely adores him

Has a lot of weird inside jokes with his students

Always wears some type of short-sleeved button-up shirt and khakis/chinos. On lab days, he adds a white lab coat, massive safety goggles, and all other necessary protective clothing

Jonghyun - Music Teacher

His classroom is in the school basement, but he’s made it really cozy and nice

Uses beanbag chairs instead of desks like 90% of the time (loss of beanbag privileges is an actual consequence he has for students who are breaking his rules)

A lot of the Choir and Band kids like to hang out in there at lunch and he kinda just lets them do whatever they want as long as they aren’t being too rowdy or breaking school rules

CONSTANTLY grumbling over the fact that the Arts Department is always overlooked when it comes to funding

Has, on more than one occasion, used his own money to buy instruments for the class because gosh darn it, no class of his is going to be using shit-tier instruments

He treats his instruments like they’re his children, always keeps them nice and clean and tuned

Has a framed picture of Roo on his desk. His mom and sister are his computer background

Definitely one of those teachers that can get on a topic completely unrelated to his subject and spend the entire class talking about it

Always has a compliment for each of his students. Even if they’re doing horribly, he’ll have something positive to say

In addition to his classes, he’s also the faculty advisor for the School Band and the School Choir

Has attempted, multiple times, to get school approval to take his students to rock concerts for field trips. He has yet to succeed

Just like a super chill teacher

Kibum - Art Teacher

First of all, don’t call him Mr. Kim, he prefers Key or Mr. Key

Another basement dweller, he fought Jonghyun tooth and nail for the best classroom and he won

Despite his classroom being the best classroom in the basement, it’s still in the basement and gets super cold during late Fall and Winter. To combat this, he keeps a Sunggie in his supply closet at all times

Do you know that gif of the guy in a black turtleneck going “It’s art?” That’s pretty much Kibum. He has said those words and made that exact hand motion many times

One of his students actually printed out a blown-up picture of the gif and gave it to him. It’s now hanging up by his desk and he always points to it whenever someone asks why a painting is the way it is

Kibum is one of those teachers that the students either love or hate. Most of his students love him, but there’s definitely a few who hate him

His smocks are always immaculate, like how????

Wears a beret about 50% of the time. He also gives all his new students their own berets on their first day (they’re embroidered)

Literally could not give less of a shit about the school’s dress code

Like, as long as nothing’s hanging out/overly revealing and as long as there’s no inappropriate messages/images on the clothing just, like, let the students wear what they want

But noooooo, the school “has an image to uphold” so that means no tattoos, no non-earlobe piercings, no bleached or unnaturally dyed hair, and no hair over a certain length for male students

Constantly arguing with admin about the hair, tattoo, and piercing restrictions. He claims that body art is just as valid as traditional art and that the students should have the right to express themselves however they see fit

Stocks up on hair gel and concealer so his students don’t get dress coded

He’s the faculty advisor for the Drama Club and the Art Club

Like Jjong and the Band+Choir kids, the Drama and Art Club kids can typically be found in Key’s classroom during breaks

Brings CommeGa in with him the week before exams

They have little berets and smocks too

Minho - History Teacher

His class covers a bit of every culture/country’s history, but the main focus is Korean History

He gets SUPER into the unit on Ancient History. One time his students walked into class to see him decked out in traditional clothing from the Silla Dynasty, complete with hair extensions and everything

Oh, and he redecorated the whole class room to be period-accurate as well

Is just generally A Lot™ when he’s teaching

He knows that History can be a bit of a boring subject for some people so he tries to do fun things in class to try and make it interesting

He’ll give his classes the textbook-version of history, and then he’ll turn around and explain which parts were complete BS

He doesn’t sugarcoat much. Sure, he may not go too deep into the more disturbing parts of history (his students are just kids after all) but he’s very honest about what actually happened VS what the textbooks say happened

Definitely the teacher that everybody has a crush on (he obviously doesn’t condone it)

Likes to take his classes to historical villages for field trips

He’s the coach for the Soccer, Baseball, Track, Basketball, and Swim Teams as well as the faculty advisor for the Filmmaking Club

He’s a busy, busy man yet he always has time for his students

Another universally beloved teacher

Since he pretty much has the Film Club at his disposal, he’ll sometimes make short little historical films to use during his lessons

Prints out history memes and hangs them around his classroom like the nerd he is

Taemin - English Lit. Teacher

In my opinion, there are few forces in the educational system more chaotic than an English Teacher, which makes it a perfect fit for Taemin

If he had a dollar for every time he had been mistaken for a student

A little trick he likes to play on his Grade 9s is one where, on the first day of school, he’ll sit at one of the student desks and just wait for a bit until somebody asks where the teacher is. Then he’ll just be all “Surprise, welcome to English 1! I’m Mr. Lee and I’ll be your teacher!”

On the flipside, the amount of parents that don’t believe that he’s a teacher irritates him so much (he’s literally been asked for ID at Parent-Teacher Conferences)

Like, he’s fine with joking from his students, and even a bit of shock from parents is ok, but damn it, he didn’t get a Masters in Education to be treated like this

Anyway, he’ll get REALLY into it when he’s reading Shakespeare

One time, he stood on a desk and read it like that. One of his students from another class walked by, saw him, and just kinda poked their head in and was like “Mr. Lee? Are you okay?”

Jonghyun likes to bring him in when he does the piano unit in his class

Like Ming, Tae’s another nerd teacher who has found that memes are an excellent way to connect with his students

He’s co-advisor for the Drama Club along with Key

Drama, drama, drama. No drama, drama, drama

They’ve almost gotten into fistfights over the true meanings of plays

He’s also the coach for the school’s Dance Team (the school’s AWARD WINNING Dance Team, as he likes to remind people)

“Oh, your team got first place at Regionals? Talk to me when you get a National title.”

I like the idea of him driving the team around in a minivan or smth, just full on soccer-momming it

#SHINee AU #SHINee imagines #SHINee scenarios #SHINee as Teachers #SHINee As High School Teachers #SHINee #5HINee #jinki #jonghyun #kibum #minho #taemin

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