#unsolicited advice

[lyraeon]

If someone falls overboard on a cruise ship, and there is a life preserver on the wall next to you, you throw them the life preserver.

Yes, it would be great if the ship had better railings so no one fell overboard to begin with. Yes, it would be awesome if everyone knew how to swim well enough to save themselves even in such a wild event as falling off a ship, but that's not a standard thing that's taught most places right now.

Yes, it probably is a good idea to know how to swim before you go on a ship, but even if you know how to swim, the act of falling into the water can startle anyone into panicking, so you don't really have time to ask them if they can swim or not before they need the life preserver. Yes, being careful around the railings is a good idea, but you have no way to know right now whether they were doing it for the Vine or someone just tried to murder them, and either way do you actually think they deserve to die for not being 100% careful 24/7?

No, you should not be expected to jump in and try to rescue them yourself when you aren't trained and don't know them, but that's not what anyone's asking you to do. They just want you to grab the life preserver off the wall and throw it towards them, or even to just hand it to someone who can aim well if you're worried about being held responsible if you miss, or hell, you can just get out of the way so someone else can grab it off the wall.

Don't deprive someone of help right now just because in your ideal world, they wouldn't need it. People asking for accommodations within the current system aren't trying to uphold it, they are trying to survive and improve their lives, so don't deny them those because in the system you want to have in place they wouldn't need that accommodation.

Don't deprive someone of help right now just because you're morally inclined to believe they "deserved it". You don't know anyone else's situation, you can never have full context, and quite often, the time and effort it takes to pass judgement on someone's worthiness is more burden on everyone than just giving them the help. And even if you earnestly feel you don't want to help them, why would you stop someone else from doing it? After all, even if your excuse is "to keep them from helping someone who doesn't deserve it", you felt the first person got what they deserved, so why would you think the person trying to help them doesn't deserve any results too?

Put down your swim class brochure and either grab the life preserver or get out of the way so someone else can.

[tozettastone]

Reading through people's feelings about plagiarism has suggested to me that, quite aside from a lot of fear and confusion on the topic of what plagiarism actually is, a surprising number of people simply do not understand how to write an undergrad essay.

When you're writing an essay for university, you are not meant to be mired in a scary bog where you're too intimidated to offer an opinion but still trying to support it with other people's ideas.

You are meant to come up with a single-sentence reply to the essay topic (call that your contention or thesis statement) and then use original arguments and carefully selected evidence from other sources to elaborate upon that single point. You are meant to make other people believe the point you made up could be true. Your job is to draw a bright clear line through all your evidence and analysis to the inevitable conclusion that your contention is right.

Finishing a basic university essay should feel like you have found the hill someone else¹ is going to die on today.

¹ Not you, though. You're going to win the argument, after all.

[meanya]

Now seems like a good time to introduce a strategy to all my ADHD peers that I've invented so I wouldn't be Late to everything!

It's called...

✨️ Disaster Time ✨️

You know that feeling when you wait til the last second to do something and THEN it seems like THAT'S when everything goes wrong??? Right when you need everything to go smoothly?

You're thinking "the office is only 10 minutes away, so I'll leave 10 minutes before my appointment time!" And THAT'S when it happens; You forget to brush your hair, you can't find your keys, your wallet is missing, your GPS is glitchy, there's traffic, there's a detour, you hit every red light, there's no parking, you enter the wrong door, you can't find the room, etc. There's always SOMETHING.

I used to get SO MAD when everything would go wrong while I was on a time crunch. It seemed like when I least expected it, suddenly every object that could possibly get in my way would get in my way. I used to think, "The universe is out to get me 😔 No matter what I do, everything is gonna go wrong."

And that's when a switch went off in my mind...

Everything is gonna go wrong when I least expect it to!!!

Therefore -> I should stop being surprised and just. Expect it to!!

Every time!

Hence, the invention of ✨️Disaster Time✨️

Disaster Time (noun) the extra time you alot for disasters.

If you just KNOW something's gonna go wrong and then just PLAN for something to go wrong! Then you'll always be ready for it!

Because something is always is gonna happen, right? Something is always gonna go wrong. You don't know what's gonna go wrong, so instead of hoping nothing goes wrong and then being disappointed when something does go wrong, just alot some Disaster Time!

So you think to yourself "the office is only 10 minutes away, so if I give myself 10 extra minutes of Disaster Time for when The Disaster happens, then I'll leave 20 minutes before my appointment time."

Your assignment's due at midnight? Disaster Time! Make it due at 11:40 to account for when the [internet goes out / file gets corrupt / website doesn't load / grammar errors pop up ]

Your hangout is at 8pm? Disaster Time! Give yourself 10 extra minutes to [find your missing phone / stop and grab some gas / brush your hair / quickly eat a snack]

Work at 9? Disaster time! Leave 15 minutes earlier for when [you spill coffee on your shirt / your car light goes off / you forgot something and have to go back]

People used to tell me to do things "early" but I have adhd and time blindness! "Early" doesn't exist!!! "Early" is an abstract concept! And "early" isn't as motivating as "The Last Second"

So instead, alot a set amount of Disaster Time and adjust your "last second" to account for that pesky inevitable Disaster, and you'll always be on time!

If you EXPECT that everything will go wrong EVERY time and just *account* for that when you plan, then you'll always be on time!

[starplanes]

Not sure what to include in your podcast press kit? Here's a checklist!

Show name

Tagline

Long description

Episode count and average episode length

Launch date

Where a first-time listener should start

Genre

Target audience

The show rating

Important content warnings

Links to social media accounts

Link to website

Contact email

Downloadable cover art

Promotional images

Links to where it can be listened to

List the cast & crew

Any important stats, like download milestones

Link any press coverage

Mention any awards

[eggwhiteswithspinach]

Do you ever just receive unsolicited opinion and you're not necessarily mad but you're also unsure how it relates or how it can be avtionable other than floating knowledge but the other person says it in such a way that it indicates significance and you hold the advice in front of you like a baby you didn't ask to hold

[coinandcandle]

Fyi there is almost never gunna be a blanket statement that holds true for every situation.

There is always nuance, there are always exceptions.

Be flexible, be understanding, and be willing to hear others out. If you're too set in your own ways and you're mad all the time then you're gunna have a real hard time finding joy in your life.

[dndmomquotes]

Unsolicited Mom/Grandma advice

Young tumbles. I swear to f’n God any partner worth having doesn't give a sh1t about your thigh gap. Please for the love of all that is true appreciate your beautiful self. You will look back on pictures of yourself and wonder why you thought you looked bad. I swear that will happen. Love how gorgeous and wonderful and beautiful and amazing you are now. In this moment. Please embrace the wonder that is you. Today. Know you are amazing and enjoy your youth. I am so lucky I did and it breaks my heart how young people keep setting goals to attain something in order to feel good. You are you're best self. Today!

[whatbigotspost]

It can be helpful to understand some things we think are normal are not normal, particularly when we’re unpacking toxic stuff from childhood.

But something being “normal” doesn’t make it inherently good. Lots of normalized parts of life are fucked up.

Just don’t confuse “common” with moral or acceptable.

[notetaeker]

October 29, 2022 - Saturday | Fall challenges 19/30 + 15/30

I wrote + compiled final exams today for 2 of my classes and it took me way too long… I feel like most of my time was spent formatting the exam rather than on the actual content lmao. Later I went for a brief walk and found some flowers that someone was still growing despite the fact we’re going into November soon (!!)

What can you de-clutter physically or emotionally to find more ease and simplicity honestly i need to get rid of all the cardboard boxes and packing material I have ‘in case I need it later’ personally it’s difficult for me to throw out things that even have a little bit of use. Emotionally I'm also a hoarder lol but honestly these days I’m less cluttered emotionally that I was in the past. Appreciating people when they make me happy and letting people know when they make me sad has given me such a lightness. The simple question of 'how will they know if I don't tell them?' and voila~ no more baggage. Even if they don't listen to what I say, at least I know that I did what I could.

How was your day today was a mixed bag lol there was everything: productivity, wasting time, going on a walk 👍 then not feeling well and coming back early 👎 then thankfully I was blessed with sleep so I couldn’t spend too much time thinking abt it and feeling sad 😌✨when I woke up I did some reading and writing so all in all 7/10 day actually

[crazycatsiren]

You know what fries my pancakes? Self proclaimed "health experts" on Instagram who didn't even go to medical school getting on my posts about flare-ups and giving me a lecture on ME/CFS being "just a set of symptoms", and claiming that once I find the "root cause" of those and "re-balance" them (whatever that even means), my chronic fatigue will disappear and I will be all well again (seriously, wtf).

As if that's how any of this works. If it were that easy, lol, not only would I have stopped being disabled and chronically ill 2 and a half years ago, I'd be rich by now, with the great knowledge of a magical miracle relief from ME/CFS for millions of people worldwide.

Scientific fact: the root cause of ME/CFS is ME/CFS. ME/CFS is a neuroimmunological disorder that currently has no cure and no one set of effective and approved treatments. On the optimistic side, approximately 6% of patients recover from it, and that's not even necessarily a 100% complete recovery. Medical professionals still can't do much for us as of 2023. If anything actually worked to alleviate our suffering, we would've all done it ages ago. There's nothing anyone can offer that we haven't thought of and tried already, fucks' sakes, Christ's fucks.

To act like you know more about our bodies and our illnesses than we do, toward those of us whose lives you have absolutely no idea about, whose daily struggles with a debilitating disease you can't even see, to have never walked a minute in our shoes, is incredibly invalidating and not to mention ableist.

[kishona]

[lyraeon]

hey, hey

you know you're just allowed to like things, right?

you know that you don't have to put a disclaimer about how you know they suck in front of any mention of them, don't you?

you realize that insulting your tastes every time you think of them is just bullying yourself, right???

[enchanted-moura]

My nosy ass saw a lady's tiktok about her overlooked fashion business and her stuff is nice but her entire page is talking about how downtrodden she is and never got to wear the nicest clothes. Instead she could use her story to talk about how innovative her experiences made her, unique, exotic..

It's fashion, we want fantasy and popular main character girl syndrome. Sales and increase is really linked to the heart, to emotional healing and wellbeing, to water😭

[spacedocmom]

Doctor Beverly Crusher

@SpaceDocMom

Unsolicited health advice from people ignorant of your conditions and needs isn't just annoying, it's dangerous. You're allowed to rebuke it, and you don't owe random people an explanation of any of it either. Tell them I said so, if that helps! emojis: black heart, blue heart, masked, spoon

1:57 PM · May 1, 2024

[starplanes]

Podcast creators, here's a checklist for your rss feed, episode show notes, website, and social media accounts. Feel free to run through it and see if there's anything you're forgetting to include.

RSS Feed Long description in show info Cover art not poorly cropped or pixelated Podcast shows up in search engine results Consistent episode numbering Consistent labeling of bonus material Feed not cluttered with months old promo swaps

Show Notes Short episode description Transcript link Content warnings Cast and crew Link to show website Link to patreon/ko-fi Link to main social media

Website Url matches podcast title (or close) Show title is clear/obvious on front of page “About” section with longer description “Cast and Crew” section where all contributors are listed, with roles “Press Kit” section Links to episode transcripts Links to where the show can be listened to Links to social media accounts

Social Media Handle matches podcast title (or close) Tagline is in bio Website is linked in bio Pinned post with additional show info

As always, these are just suggestions! Not doing something on here and think it works? That's cool!

[married-to-a-redhead]

My experiences on making friends with the many lovely ladies here on Tumblr

Over the years, I have been very fortunate to make good friends with some wonderful ladies here on Tumblr. It’s been very rewarding for me to have these great friends. And almost universally, my female friends tell me they receive unwanted contact from other Tumblrs virtually daily.

You may ask yourself, how did Married-to-a-Redhead make friends with those lovely ladies? A great question! Here are a few of my (unsolicited) tips on how to make friends with the many beautiful ladies on Tumblr. If you think I am just being an arrogant jerk, go ahead and stop reading now. I get it, trust me.

First and foremost, READ THEIR PROFILE. I can’t emphasize this enough. With most Tumblrs, they will inform you whether they are open to chat. If they say they are not open to chat, DON’T CONTACT THEM. At best you will be ignored, at worst you will be publicly ridiculed and blocked. If you want to try and make friends with them when they say they are not open to chat, interact with their blog by reblogging and commenting. If they want to talk to you, they will reach out. Believe it or not, 99% of the friends I have made on Tumblr contacted me first via chat. If they are open to chat, great! Go for it. Be a gentleman and don’t open with a crude or arrogant comment. Don’t just say hello, that’s probably going to be ignored.

Also, try to have an interesting blog with a good theme other than “I love the female form” that’s an overused boring theme. Try and be more creative than that. An interesting blog gets attention. I have been told many times that my bio is what gets people’s attention and got them to follow me before they contacted me.

Make occasional witty comments on their posts, be friendly, and be a gentleman. Don’t like and comment on every post they make, that comes across as weird and desperate. I mentioned this before and I’ll say it again, don’t be crude.

Finally, give them the respect they deserve, be nice, treat them as the human beings they are, and you may be rewarded with a great friendship. I know I have been over the years.

That said, there are no guarantees that any of this will work. If another approach has worked better for you, that’s great. I am only sharing my personal experience and I am certainly no expert on the strange ways of Tumblr. I fully admit I am a bit of an odd duck here on Tumblr.

Good luck. Be the gentleman I know you all can be.