#until I get to the meat of it

[snackugaki]

.... i have been so normal about wanting to draw tactical!Venus and tactical!Jennika.

hey. HEY. y’all need to go check out @donathan ‘s artwork, and if you are the proper age, go throw some money into their patreon for some... some real, real good art. 👀👀👀 ...but do not if you are a minor, that shit ain’t for you.

some IDW TMNT comic spoilers... and.... I guess... Next Mutation ssspoilers? I know some of you kids haven’t turtled up and watched my beloved childhood iteration yet.

alright, so, y’know, completely normal expenditure of my energy and skillset, amirite? big big thanks to @/donathan for allowing me to play around in their AU’s aesthetic because I have severe, terminal VenusAndJennikaDeserveEverythingoccocal SoIWillManifestItMyselfitis.

and tbh, all y’all’s fics have been, mwah, chef’s kiss. but SOME of you put LORE. delicious, tasty, appetite-inducing lore.

and i am nothing but the littlest hoebag for lore.

okay so, quick rundown for those who both A) are immune to spoilers B) also do not know Venus or Jennika’s origins-- bulletpoint time~!

So Venus de Milo, the “girl turtle”, the “fifth turtle” (not counting April’s extremely brief stint as a white-bandana’d turtle in the Archie comics run) was introduced in 1997′s Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation

An episode of “The Toys That Made Us” touched upon Venus’ creation so idk it’ll cover what I won’t deign to acknowledge.

her backtory is interesting (just her show was a trashfire /affectionate)

Master Splinter’s frolicking around in the dreamscape where all the cool enlightened old people hang out away from teenagers, right?

but oh no! dragon lord, a bad dude with a widow’s peak to rival Vegeta Dragonball’s widow’s peak; is there too! stomping around, ruining shit!

Splinter’s dreamscape buddy Chung I warns Splinter to stay out of the dreamscape ‘cuz Dragon Lord’s around

And like in true old people fashion, just ignores his friend’s admonition and tries to investigate himself

bad choice, womp womp

Splinter gets trussed up and rendered “stuck” in the dreamscape

cue the catalyst for Venus to make the 10+ flight from China to the U.S

don’t worry about what the boys were doing, just literal surfing in sewer grey water, breaking their little turtle skulls on cinderblocks, and picking fights in warehouses with Foot clan goons

tl;dr Venus still has Sixth Ranger mode on, so naturally she whoops all of their asses in the dark, ties them up (like how some of y’all enjoy writing Leo does huhu nudgenudge winkwink)

venusistheoriginalshibarienthusiastandteadrinkerfightme

and then, y’know, it’s still the 90s and children’s television so blah blah the usual “oH My gOd a GiRL tURTle???/?? AWoooOOogaaa ga ga ga” 

it’s.... I mean, i’m 38 so it no longer strikes me as bad as just really fucking embarrassing... for them. to be written saying. fuck, at least they didn’t make her bandana color pink.

so fast forward to Venus teaching them to dreamwalk so they can go rescue Splinter from Dragon Lord’s clutches in the dreamscape.

unfortunately, Dragon Lord offscreen murders Chung I so Venus is narratively anchorless post-rescue, so she’s invited to stay with them. thus ensues wacky hijinks with their new pal, Venus Boom Boom de Milo.

I glossed over the urge to write a cumulative review of Next Mutation. Just, take my word as the target demographic of the show during the last gasps of 90s Turtlemania that TNM was a trashfire overall but... y’know... if you ever needed a palette cleanser after some grimdark or angsty TMNT content, give TNM a whirl. The slapstick was intentional and The Point in the show. Venus’ circumstances for coming was as serious as it would get.

... Also, yes, they made them not related in TNM, preteen snackugaki didn’t clock why because I watched a lot of wuxia as a kid so brotherhood is a term beyond blood ties to me (and if I’m being honest, martial brotherhood is fkkn metal) and later I heard tell that it was to lure more girls into the franchise with both a girl turtle and romance options. which idk whatevs man. 

I also have to clear that, actually no, Donatello and Venus did not fight EVERY episode. Donatello, despite sprinkling a little too much barely disguised snobbery, did defer to Venus’ expertise in “the supernatural” when the situation called for it, and Venus would commend Donnie on his scientific ingenuity. They even teamed up skillsets to create surveillance drones! She essentially casted Calm Emotions on him while he tried to hack the controls of the Astro Megaship back for the In Space Rangers. They breached the divide between STEM and Humanities! They only had one “real fight" near the end of the season-- because Donnie was playing his containment breach elevator mid trash copyright strike immune proto-EDM too loud while she was trying to meditate. and that’s just being bad roommates tbh.

...christ I know it’s gonna come up too, but also NO, there was not constant advances made toward Venus during the show. At most was Mikey pulling his ol’ “I work out every day~!” schtick for like 2 episodes of the 5 spent to introduce Venus. And then after? A shipper’s desert, you’d have to dig and peer behind like 8 curtains for any viable fodder. 

...OKAY NOW FOR JENNIKA’S ORIGINS: Jennika is an IDW character specifically so, naturally why she isn’t in (or would’ve been, AHEM) a lot of iterations yet (or at all, COUGH) (but to continue in honesty there’s a lot of legal tape to cut through since Jennika is IDW’s while TMNT overall is Nick’s) Introduced as a Foot Assassin, her place in the Foot Clan shifts when Splinter takes over from Shredder (Saki), eventually she forms actual bonds with both the turtles and Splinter to where it’s implied she also saw him as an important figure to her if not an outright surrogate father figure. And because TMNT is mess and drama the other 50% of the time, Karai takes over the Foot from Splinter and shenanigans compounded by Karai’s then-current machinations for the Foot-- results in Jennika getting shanked in the stomach by Karai during a clandestine meeting to resolve clan rivalry. She’s losing blood fast, Donnie works to save her and it’s Leo who volunteers for blood transfusion to keep her stable mid-transit. 

SURPRISE!

Leo’s blood mutates Jennika into a mutant turtle. And then Casey ghosts/dumps her. My poor daughter. She has a real rough time of it before fully integrating with the boys. Raph falls in with Old Hob, gets hoodwinked, and now they live in Mutant Town. Jennika slowly finds herself again, as a mutant turtle, a Splinter clan ninja, a girlfriend, a guitarist in a band she started, a sister in a found family, and a constable to a very little town.

okay! we’re all marginally informed about my two wonderfull daughters, Venus and Jennika~!

so if I can indulge further, I’m going to use my cognizance and make it everyone’s problem because I have beem quietly foaming with ideas for bg lore for tactical!J&V, more bullet points!

ok so, donathan mentioned a bit about their tac! Leo and Donnie being the snipers, Mikey and Raph spotting for them while also being demolitions and heavy ordinance specialists respectively

I would think, then for Vee and Jen, they’d be classified as close quarters combat specialists, complicated extraction? compromised area? call them to clean up and clear out~

give or take “magic” being a thing used in donathan’s AU, or anyone’s AU of this AU, Vee would probably be a close combat specialist along with Jen.

Vee, I feel, would, barring a ...”tactical fan”, (even though in TNM it was just her fists and her little wizard components but her toy came with a fan so.) probably use batons, Jen in lieu of her tekagi-shuko would... most likely use tactical karambit. not that large of a leap really.

for my personal lulz, Vee and Jen are... accurate, height-wise. Raph gets to be the biggest brother since alligator snapping turtles are, in fact, the largest motherfucking freshwater turtles on the north american continent. no getting around it.

my Vee in all Rise AUs is a softshell since the messy hanzi used to write her first given name, Mei Pieh Chi (美鱉气) has the hanzi that’s most commonly translated as softshell turtle (鱉). eh ‘di wow talaga

snacku what do you mean ‘accurate’???? tl;dr female turtles are usually the larger ones in most species.

and listen, I love and I mean LOVE, how some of y’all have written the tac!boys, mwah; but god I’m a professional turtle bully. I need to see them get dunked on. for nutritional value. and if it comes to it, I will provide that food for myself. brb laughing at eventually drawing Venus just offhandedly tossing Donnie into the air to skeet shoot his ass for fun brings me the greatest joy.

they absolutely dote on Mikey, as is the natural order of things. 

and even tho I stated TNM Donnie and Venus got along in the show, and depending on the existence of magic in this AU; I just really love dichotomous rivalries (in as much “science” and “magic” exist as a dichotomy, much less as “diametrically oppose” fields-- just, opposites man. i’m a simple girl with simple trope needs)

Vee’s arms (and legs) are absolutely covered in burns, scars, and missing flesh divots, just as close to swiss cheese limbs as you can be

Jen and Donnie debate tracks that go into their joint “On Our Way To Commit Murder” playlist

if Vee’s tactical look seem very familiar, and you’re wondering if-- yes, you’re correct. and you can “call her ms. de milo if ya nasty”

Vee was actually pretty calm and rational in TNM... but for this AU, she can be a little unhinged, as a well-deserved treat. (and ‘cuz that specific anime unhinged facial expression is fun as fuck to draw, which is my treat)

[blackpilljesus]

Beware of fake sisterhood. Female solidarity isn't real. Yes we need each other but we also need real mutually beneficial relationships.

Motherhood discourse with the whole "but single childfree women need to help we're all in this together🥺🥺🥺" bullshit is proof that even women wouldn't leave women who go their own way alone. Everyone needs & uses women for labour, as a scapegoat, or as a sacrifice.

It is underestimated how much women use other women to survive under maIe supremacy. The trads use the likes of feminists presence to virtue signal being the "better" women. The mothers who expect labour from other women to pick up the slack of their children's father (only to still prioritise him anyways). Sex-posi feminists encouraging other women to have dangerous 'sex' with maIes or offer themselves to help with "maIe loneliness" even though most times they won't do the same. Women in relationships with moids use their -typically- single friends as therapists/emotional dumpsters only to return to him anyways & even throw her friends under the bus for him.

Many will talk about "sisterhood" and how we're all in it together but the dynamic is often one-sided. Single childfree women aren't strong soldiers; they're also vulnerable especially as the amount of single/childfree women grows in size because that means less moids having slaves & reproducing. That means less people for the government to grind, less believers for religious institutions to exploit and keep the system churning. The economy makes it difficult to survive alone. Being a single childfree woman makes you an easier target yet other women wont help you, they want to use & discard you. They say we're all in it together so we dont leave them behind.

[bunnieswithknives]

As an avid D&D player and DM, I love this magic system you've created so much- bc it means that necromancy exists like it does in D&D, but because David is David (TM), he just goes "yeah, but yk what would make this better? Puppets." and just is flying by the seat of his pants trying to create a fusion of DIY crafts and reanimation. he even could be inadvertendly creating an entirely new form of magic while messing around with the Book and his puppetry, but no one will ever know bc he just wants to play around with his little flesh puppets instead of, idk, sitting down and writing an actual grimoire/codex on it and i love him so much for that <3

Really tho!! This is the closest anyone has ever come come to actual reanimation in this universe, not just souless zombies or possessed lamps, real breathing creatures with the souls of people and working innards to back it up! And he's not even writing it down!

[inamagicalhallucination]

sometimes i think about how for every wish that dazai makes seriously or jokingly about dying, how many ppl probably wish he lives for another year

[sexynetra]

Guess the ship (easy edition)

🅰️👨⬇️

You mean the chronically online girlfriends Dawn and Amanda? 🥰

[spaceboibrainrot]

A gang just beat up this kid's baby. the fuck???

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Oh my god to add on to that one Mo’at ask

Lo’ak pulls up to the function tugging along a mated Spider and no one has any idea how to react

Jake’s sitting there all confused trying to remember if Norm ever mentioned homophobia and if that’s something he has to protect Lo’ak from while Neytiri is pushing an equally confused random boy towards Lo’ak like “look son isn’t this one so much prettier than the ugly pink one please look he’s so much better right son right?”

You are SOOOO right, this made me absolutely cackle dude. Jake "talk valentina 'ALLY'" Sully like confused but ready to throw hands? While Neteyam is holding Kiri back from actually throwing hands.

Poor random boy, he doesn't even know what he's gotten himself into.

[moralomnivore]

Oh wait, you meant you want to be forced into it due to an ambiguously-directed far-future state of emergency... cool.

[queer-reader-07]

so ash wednesday is next week and one of my friends just asked me if "that's when you start lenting" 😭😭 like yes that is when i Lent, you're so right bestie

[masquenoire]

Roman's not much of a gamer but if he were, this would be a pretty accurate representation of what he'd be into.

[blackpilljesus]

What do you think of anti-natalism?

A based ideology that keeps me sane. I can't imagine forcing a soul into a lifetime of suffering how disgusting. Suffering is guaranteed in the world but joy isn't. People find it dark but I find peace knowing that the suffering ends with me, I'm not dragging another person into this. It's my final "fuck you" act aswell given the fact that the world pushes us to reproduce. Not another son from me that'll wreak terror on the environment, not another daughter from me that'll suffer this & also release subterror to whomever they can. Not another disadvantaged soul from me that'll be exploited by the government, religious institutions, or capitalists.

No matter how bad life gets I always remember that the suffering in my line ends with me & I feel better because the truth is things aren't going to get better. Humans are going to exploit ourselves to extinction despite efforts to the contrary. Better to quit while ahead I cant imagine bringing a daughter to a world where AI deepfake porn technology is getting more precise & invasive and I wont commit economical terrorism by birthing a moid to do that either. No point bringing a child to a world where they have limited resources & no future.

Despite anti-natalists labelled as selfish it's one of the most selfless things to end the cycle of abuse in your line despite everything in the world telling you otherwise. To prevent & protect (x) amount of souls from suffering too.

[cordycepsbian]

quick doodle of a Beast from our very normal headcanon worldbuilding we talked about yesterday. it doesn't really have a name, but for classification purposes let's call it deadlander lambda

it's simultaneously a more mutated and more primal version of a typical moth, hence the extra arms and wings. it's also Really, Really Big, almost twice the size of a deadlander gamma, and the mimic flies that inhabit the wastes to the far, far north of bugaria make up a big part of its diet. despite this, it was somehow both genetically compatible with and seen as attractive by a completely average io moth, resulting in what would become bugaria's most normal family line

[oh-cool-a-burning-sword]

pretty sure someone may have already said this but oh well:

AU where Jeralt finds a young Shez who's both still mourning their mother's death and was fairly recently kicked out of the village they were raised in, so he goes: "Well... shit, guess I have another kid now." And now Shez and Byleth are siblings.

However, this doesn't just erase the rivalry Shez and Byleth have in Hopes. If anything it makes it a LOT worse. The Cain Instinct + two brain gremlins who want to kill each other on sight (despite at least one of them not knowing why) is the perfect recipe for all hell to break loose.

Meanwhile Jeralt's just watching all this unfold and is actually proud of how strong his kids are. Though he's also fumbling through every single single parenting book he can get his hands on because he may have never been Dad of the Year, but 300+ years at the monastery and all the shit he's seen could never have prepared him on raising not just one but TWO kids with super powers.

[kingdomoftyto]

Oh yeah ANOTHER thing?

It's now canon that Vlad (and by extension probably Danny too) can survive THE VACUUM OF SPACE with no food, water, or air for at least several months if not over a year??

Like yeah we saw him out by Saturn at the end of Phantom Planet but I think a lot of us figured he'd probably die out there (including the characters in the story apparently LOL brutal). But here we have confirmation that (half-)ghosts can pretty much keep going indefinitely on stubbornness alone. Like holy shit, dude. I don't know whether that's awesome or super dark.

[dreamlogic]

2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

[sexynetra]

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY

I promised @thecollectionsof that I would finish my amandawn fic today, so keep your eyes peeled for this full story being posted in a few hours <3

~~~~~~

“You trust me, don’t you?” Dawn smiled hopefully — a dazzling grin that had Amanda’s brain shorting out.

She did trust Dawn. More than she trusted anyone in the world.

“That sounds like the kind of thing a serial killer would ask me before they lead me to their super secret murder lair,” she said instead. Dawn’s grin just widened, and she started walking again.

“Oh, please. I wouldn’t have my murder lair in the middle of New York City. That’s out in the suburbs.”