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queerism1969 · 3 months

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Notable transgender people from history

Here's the list I put together for when people on non-trans subreddits claim we didn't exist until recently:

Ashurbanipal (669-631BCE) - King of the Neo-Assryian empire, who according to Diodorus Siculus is reported to have dressed, behaved, and socialized as a woman.

Elagabalus (204-222) - Roman Emperor who preferred to be called a lady and not a lord, presented as a woman, called herself her lover's queen and wife, and offered vast sums of money to any doctor able to make her anatomically female.

Kalonymus ben Kalonymus (1286-1328) - French Jewish philosopher who wrote poetry about longing to be a woman.

Eleanor Rykener (14th century) - trans woman in London who was questioned under charges of sex work

[Thomas(ine) Hall](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas(ine)_Hall) - (1603-unknown) - English servant in colonial Virginia who alternated between presenting as a woman and presenting as a man, before a court ruled that they were both a man and a woman simultaneously, and were required to wear both men's and women's clothing simultaneously.

Chevalier d'Eon (1728-1810) - French diplomat, spy, freemason, and soldier who fought in the Seven Years' War, who transitioned at the age of 49 and lived the remaining 33 years of her life as a woman.

Public Universal Friend (1752-1819) - Quaker religious leader in revolutionary era America who identified and lived as androgynous and genderless.

Surgeon James Barry (1789-1865) - Trans man and military surgeon in the British army.

Berel - a Jewish trans man who transitioned in a shtetel in Ukraine in the 1800's, and whose story was shared with the Jewish Daily Forward in a 1930 letter to the editor by Yeshaye Kotofsky, a Jewish immigrant in Brooklyn who knew Berel

Mary Jones (1803-unknown) - trans woman in New York whose 1836 trial for stealing a man's wallet received much public attention

Albert Cashier (1843-1915) - Trans man who served in the US Civil War.

Harry Allen (1882-1922) - Trans man who was the subject of sensationalistic newspaper coverage for his string of petty crimes.

Lucy Hicks Anderson (1886–1954) - socialite, chef and hostess in Oxnard California, whose family and doctors supported her transition at a young age.

Lili Elbe (1882-1931) - Trans woman who underwent surgery in 1930 with Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, who ran one of the first dedicated medical facilities for trans patients.

Karl M. Baer (1885-1956) - Trans man who underwent reconstructive surgery (the details of which are not known) in 1906, and was legally recognized as male in Germany in 1907.

Dr. Alan Hart (1890-1962) - Groundbreaking radiologist who pioneered the use of x-ray photography in tuberculosis detection, and in 1917 he became one of the first trans men to undergo hysterectomy and gonadectomy in the US.

[Louise Lawrence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louise_Lawrence_(activist)) (1912–1976) - trans activist, artist, writer and lecturer, who transitioned in the early 1940's. She struck up a correspondence with the groundbreaking sexologist Dr. Alfred Kinsey as he worked to understand sex and gender in a more expansive way. She wrote up life histories of her acquaintances for Kinsey, encouraged peers to do interviews with him, and sent him a collection of newspaper clippings, photographs, personal correspondences, etc.

Dr. Michael Dillon (1915-1962) - British physician who updated his birth certificate to Male in the early 1940's, and in 1946 became the first trans man to undergo phalloplasty.

Reed Erickson (1917-1992) - trans man whose philanthropic work contributed millions of dollars to the early LGBTQ rights movement

Willmer "Little Ax" Broadnax (1916-1992) - early 20th century gospel quartet singer.

Peter Alexander (unknown, interview 1937) - trans man from New Zealand, discusses his transition in this interview from 1937

Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989) - The first widely known trans woman in the US in 1952, after her surgery attracted media attention.

Miss Major Griffin-Gracy (1940-present) - Feminist, trans rights and gay rights activist who came out and started transition in the late 1950's. She was at Stonewall, was injured and taken into custody, and had her jaw broken by police while in custody. She was the first Executive Director of the Transgender Gender Variant Intersex Justice Project, which works to end human rights abuses against trans/intersex/GNC people in the prison system.

Sylvia Rivera (1951-2002) - Gay liberation and trans rights pioneer and community worker in NYC; co-founded STAR, a group dedicated to helping homeless young drag queens, gay youth, and trans women

Marsha P. Johnson (1945-1992) - Gay liberation and trans rights pioneer; co-founded STAR with Sylvia Rivera

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leoascendente · 3 months

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PAC/ Update on your love life 💕

Hi my loves and welcome to this new pick a a card! Here you have a new pac about love, I wanted to make it about something you all liked and it seems like these ones are your favorites so I made this as a summer solstice gift. I hope you like and resonate❣️

Take a deep breath before choosing the pile that calls you the most, keep ehat resonates and leave what doesn't

Happy summer solstice my dears, I love you all 🫶

My blog in Spanish here

Paid readings here

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1:

(Cards: world, 8 of gems, 5 of shells, 2 of shells, 2 of roses, hermit/ Tea leafs: dog barking, older woman, vine, purse flowers)

My dear pile 1, your love life looks a little confusing at the moment and I think this pile is only for single people. I see that there's someone you had intimacy with in the past but things ended up, is currently thinking about you, this person may ghosted you without you knowing why, if you resonate with this situation just know that they ghosted you because something complicated was going on in their life. The person in your mind thinks about you very often, I wouldn't be surprised if you've been dreaming about them or feeling their energy. Right now you look dissaponted because things seemed better than in the past, you put a lot of hope into this person just to feel like they failed you, in this case you are being called to meditate over your expectations and how you deal with your romantic relationships, it makes sense because of the picture you chose. You crave unconditional love, almost like as the picture says 'to merge souls', you are not meant for something sporadic or superficial, you need passion and intensity but my dear, you are forgetting about the hard parts of a relationship, you are thinking about falling in love and not about the steps that lead you to fall in love. The good thing is that you close a negative chapter of your love life in your recent past, that's why you felt that this time was different, because it really was but you thought you were repeating patterns again when you weren't, you can feel proud of yourself because of this shift in your life. I warn you that this person of your recent past is going to come back with renewed energies but in the meanwhile you need some time for introspection and healing, you just need to attend and fix some things within yourself because things with this person will lead to a safe place because your reading ended with the card of flowers that means happiness, so expect them to come back into your life at any moment. You also need this alone time because your femenine energy is needing some attention and you'll need you mind fully rested because you'll have to solve a financial issue before this person's come back. I see that you'll receive a very good advice from an older woman so listen what she has to say, you'll find out some information that will be usefull in the future and you're guides will tell you that you are in the right path whenever you see numbers 1222, 1212 or 222

Pile 2:

(Cards: 9 of shells, 9 of wings, 6 of shells, queen of roses, 10 of shells, 6 of wings/ Tea leafs: crib, haystack, beetle, cat, fox)

You have someone special in your life right now and things look really nice, maybe this is someone you are currently dating or simply you found out that the person you like likes you back, whatever it is, I see you very happy, even remembering an special event you shared with this person over and over. Ngl, both your person and you look very obssesed with eachother but this doesn't seem to be a problem to none of you, the thing here is that there's someone in your group of friends that is not happy of you finding love, be careful with how you behave with this two-faced friend because you'll reap what you sow, be wise because your approach on this situation could bring you karma, try not to argue. The best thing here is that your reading ended with the best cards possible, so doesn't matter what anybody tries to do to mess with your relationship because everything will be better than great at the end, but you may have to make a movement forward and maybe confess your true feelings, I see here a big romantic gesture and I feel it's you who's being encouraged to do it, you don't have to ask them for marriage but you could write a letter or ask them to go out or anything like that, depending on the situation of whoever is reading this. Whatever you decide to do it will have a very positive impact on your relationship and this will be a reason to take things to the next level, but my dear, don't share your plans with anybody until it's a reality in your life because that friend's energy could delay the positive ressults, good things will come to you anyway but there's no need of delays if you can prevent it by not sharing it. There's no much more to say besides that you'll have a very happy outcome with your person and you'll live a very healthy and fulfillling relationship. Felines will be a sign from spirit to act wisely and be cunning, something magical will happen after you get news about someone expecting a baby, beetles will be an omen of abundance and good fortune.

Pile 3:

(Cards: 2 of gems, 8 of roses, ace of wings rev, high priestess, lovers, 8 of gems rev/ Tea leafs: carriage, sunrise, V, dog, four leaf clover)

Okay, you may felt called to pile 1 too because your readings share a lot of similaities, read it if you feel like to. First of all, you are very aware of what's going on in your love life, you are my spiritual pile in this PAC but for some of you I also see a female that has psychic powers, maybe a witchy or intuitive friend that gives you spiritual guidance. I see that your love life has changed in your recent past and for the majority of you it's something that you've have been actively working on, it has been a conscious change you wanted to make, I'm getting that these changes were majorly focused on the kind of suitors you want to attract. Right now there's no much movement in your love life and you might be thinking that this stagnancy is a defeat, like all your efforts aren't paying off but that's very far from truth because you really have shifted your energy and what you are attracting not just in love, but also in general terms, just in case you needed this info to gain back hope (btw, I'm writting this at 12:12 on my clock). Deep inside of you , you can be intuiively knowing that someone is coming into your life but you don't know who, where or when, trust your gut instinct because that feeling is real, there's someone really close to enter your life but you need to stop looking for them in your daily life, you are being called to trust divine timing and investing in yourself meanwhile your person arrives. Before this meeting happens you'll go through a journey, it can be physical or mental but it's something you'll need to experience an enlightment where you'll be getting creative ideas, thise ideas will be very useful in your near future, especially in regards of a personal goal that you have and really want to achieve, just know that you got 2 of the best tea leafs, the V and the four leaf clover and both mean victory and good fortune so just relax and see how universe works at your favor. Your signs will be horses and dogs, especially black ones, faeries and the air elementals will be important for some reason I can't descipher, also a deceased loved one will make you they are right by showing you white butterflies.

Pile 4:

(Cards: 3 of shells, 9 of wings, 5 of shells rev, princess of wings, queen of roses, the hanged man rev/ vulture, tiger, pail, frying pan, shield)

My dear pile 4, I send you a virtual hug from here and wish you the best with whatever is going on in your life. Things may look crazy right now but keep always in mind that nothing last forever, neither the bad things so, by the moment just keep strong, at some moment things will get better. I see you are interested in someone but it's more like a crush because everything is in the air and there's nothing solid yet between you two, you may met this person through a friend or in a party and may got a little too obsessed with this person without them giving you a sign of reciprocal feelings, so be careful with delusion because you can be using it subconsciously to avoid the hardships of your current reality, I suggest you to check info about limerence, you may find some answers to help this tendency and heal. About this person you like, the cards invite you to be bold and make a movement forward, to take the lead of the situation, maybe text them or have a conversation the next time you see them, whatever you think it's more appropiate. The only warning here is that you may not be totally prepared to be in a relationship at the moment, or at least not fully receptive to everything that involves a commitment with someone else, before, you should maybe take some time for healing and balancing your life, you could enjoy fully this connection if the other areas of your life are more peaceful but that doesn't mean that you can't meet this person and know more about them, it would just involve taking things slower. I don't want to ruin your hopes and even less with this person because you could totally have a happy relationship together, what I mean is that maybe it's not the right moment to invest that much energy in a relationship when you are needing those energies so much, mostly for those of you who suffer from abandonment issues. Also, you'll be facing a challenging situation where you will have to defend yourself from someone's accusations, it will cause you some anxiety so I suggest you to go to nature to cleanse your energies when this happens, I'm getting that this is something you have could prevented if you listened to your intuition because you've been having a bad feeling with the person that is going to turn against you, just be brave and don't fear defending yourself with everything you have. By the moment take things with patience, try to approach the person you like but don't force anything or put your expectations too high, simply enjoy the good things and face the challenges one by one as they appear, you'll get out of this situation stronger and very proud of yourself, and maybe even with a boyfriend. For you, the only thing your guides are telling me is that they are there to help you whenever you need it, just communicate with them and they'll be quick to answer.

Pile 5:

(Cards: prince of roses, prince of gems, hanged man, moon rev, chariot, king of roses/ Tea leafs: door, yoke, man, whale, ring)

Omg pile 5, you have met your divine counterpart! I'm really happy for you my dear🥹🫶. This pile is for people who are already dealing with someone, so if it's not your case I suggest you to check the other piles. I see that you love eachother, there are a lot of feelings here but both of you have a very similar temper and your respective attitudes are getting in the way, you both are very stubborn and prideful but it's because of your experiences in love in your pasts, you both are scared of being hurt and this facade of pride is just a defense mechanism to protect your hearts, there's a lot of fear to be vulnerable here. You really like this person and just know that your feelings are reciprocal but the thing here is that you both have tough shells, I see you taking some distance or setting boundaries with this person because this situation is making you feel frustrated, so you may decide to simply move on hoping that they go after you. The good thing is that your person will find the will and courage to give an step forward and tell you to take things to the next level, they'll realize how much they crave you when you make them miss you a little, you got the ring on the tea leafs so for some of you there will be a proporsal too, for the rest I see a genuine love conffesion from your person. You'll find a beautiful door or entrance, when you see it shortly after you'll get food news about an oportunity or windfall, whales will be omens of staying grounded because there's nothing to worry about, you'll find a ring or someone ca gift you a piece of jewelry, wear it because it can work as a protective amulet, 7 will be your lucky number.

Pile 6:

(Cards: 8 of gems, magician, 9 of roses rev, 2 of shells, empress rev, king of gems/ Tea leafs: axe, flowers, casket, mountain, arrow)

Whatever you are living in your love life, it's time to release it and purify the energies, you've been working and investing a lot of energy into making something work with an soecific person but I'm sorry to tell you that is not going to end up as you'd like to. You'll be receiving news from someone you are interested in but you'll have to discern if this is the kind of relationship you want for yourself, this person of interest seems very hot and cold, with the empress reversed I feel like their attitude causes you to doubt yourself, even if they don't openly criticize you or anything like that, their behavior may be making you feel like you are not enough for them. You are being called to take a realistic look over the situation, if you feel like you are constantly fighting to keep this relationship going and you are the only one making the effort, the best thing you can do for your own wellbeing is to leave them and open up to someone else who is willing to make the same sacrifices for you that you would do for them. Even if it's a challenge for you, sometimes loving someone can't be the only reason to stay in a relationship and even less when the relationship is draining or painful. In the end I see you leaving and moving on because the casket on the tea leaf say that someone will be going out of your life, the good thing here is that the arrow is an omen of being on the right path, remember this whenever you see one. At the end of the day you'll be happy because you know your worth and how to invest on yourself, and everytime you let the old go you open up to new opportunities and people who resonates with your vibration, you will be opening the path for your soulmate too. You'll see the card of the magician somewhere and right after something special will manifest in your life, you'll find a beautiful jar and your guides encourage you to make a self love spell with it, wearing colors white and purple will help your intuition, bats will announce you a rebirth.

#witchblr #leoascendente #tarot #tarotblr #pac reading #pick a pile #tarot reading #love tarot reading #Spotify

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gofancyninjaworld · 2 years

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OPM Updates 221 and 222 Review: Much ado about psychics

This is an all meta review! Yes, I am interested in the medical ethics surrounding cybernetic surgery without benefit of the patient's consent, but I think that those are handled well by this post and that post. Yes, the Hero Association gathering a significant chunk of Class A into its walls creates a real vulnerability and begins to feel like the rich trying to buy security rather (and depriving regular people of powerful heroes who used to patrol their localities) than a good operational move, but that's another meta. Talking psychics and baldies this time.

So, a psychic baddie has revealed himself, dude's from an organization that Tatsumaki has history with, Tsukoyomi, and he tried to take Pyskos away only to be thwarted by Tatsumaki as she neutralizes his trump card, the poison pill his accomplice had given Fubuki. Tatsumaki was just about to maim the Blizzard group to stop them being heroes when Saitama intervened. And she went nuclear and started destroying the building until Saitama grabbed her and jumped out of the base with her. All good?

Two rules

Well, it didn't go well for our psychic baddie, but I have to praise him for the cleverness of the plan he had to extract Psykos and prevent the Psychic Sisters from stopping him. There's more ways to knock down an elephant than by rugby tacking it. He just might have gotten away with it if he'd not made two fatal mistakes, each well explored in the story.

The first rule: make every blow count. If you have an opening, follow through to the hilt. Just twisting Tatsumaki up might have been fun to do, but failing to at least knock her out was a mistake. There's no such thing as permanent advantage [try explaining this to a powerscaler: it's like explaining calculus to a dog].

The second: NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE ENEMY. Many, many characters have paid dearly for this, and yup... we see the Tsukuyomi guy turn to see what the commotion with the monsters was instead of watching what Tatsumaki was up to.

The Tsukuyomi rep didn't follow either rule and this happened to him:

It's not paranoia when they're really after you

Something I've been enjoying a lot in the manga since seeing how much Psykos's intelligence and scope of vision was improved, is that the idiot ball has also been taken away from the heroes.

Tatsumaki hasn't been paranoid about protecting Fubuki simply because she's overprotective and sees enemies everywhere. There really is a powerful, shadowy psychic group out there, systematically gathering natural psychics to study and use. Her recognising the strategic value of Psykos to Tsukuyomi and moving to thwart them speaks well to her intelligence.

It's necessary not just to be careful, but to not befriend just anyone. As Tatsumaki says, this time, the enemy tipped its hand early. That can't always be relied on. Next time, they might not be so lucky.

It's not nice to be bait

I love the members of the Blizzard Group pointedly asking Fubuki what the hell was going on. They're belatedly realising that they got dragged into this terrible mess in order to lend versimlitude to the sisters' ruse. It's not a nice feeling.

Still, as we see once Tatsumaki starts lambasting them, they're willing to give their boss the benefit of the doubt. You have to love their loyalty!

However, if there's anything that sealed their fates in Tatsumaki's eyes, it's that they pleaded with her to be allowed to continue serving under Fubuki.

For all the actual good they could do in this situation, they might as well have been regular people. The difference between them and a regular civilian is that civilians have the sense to run the hell away from monsters. As heroes, they'd stick around and try to do something, and they're not heroes who are committed to being as strong as possible. Their asking to stay under Blizzard stands in marked contrast to disciples like Iaian or Genos, who've pushed away from their masters to chase after strength. Not only is the Blizzard Group a liability, but it's one whose members aren't interested in doing better.

Want to be liked? Be likeable!

I can't leave without noting Fubuki's devastating realisation that Saitama doesn't like her. She really thought he at least thought her a friend. Well, turns out he doesn't and is too honest not to be blunt about it.

From his perspective, she hasn't done a damn thing that'd endear her to him. She's tried to manipulate him into joining her group on several occasions, been pushy, appeared uninvited at his house, more than once, and has had the nonsense to speak condescendingly to him. What's there to like?

Of course, that's not how she saw it. She read acceptance into his tolerance and therefore, this is one hell of a slap in the face. I feel for her: she's young and hasn't had the best of role models, so she's still learning.

Painful as it is, I hope she learns from this. Even if she decides to stop auditioning for his approval, that'd be a good start.

A most terrible comeuppance

Was looking for a book in the local library (I found it, yay!) when I came across another book by the same author. I didn't take it with me this time, but the first sentence of the blurb said (I paraphrase), 'Joan... was all too familiar with the horror of being a woman at a man's mercy...' and damn! That's in words the expression on Tatsumaki's face:

The horror at it beginning to dawn on her that maybe, this time, she's not going to have the power or the guile to break out of this situation. It's Tatsumaki: she's nothing if not resilient in the face of the greatest adversity, so she's not going to give up easily but... We know Saitama will do her no ill, and if anyone had this coming, she did, but this is going to be a particularly harrowing experience for her of all people because of her history and the events leading up to Saitama's intervention.

Don't mess around

I wonder if Saitama will remember King's advice to not mess around and take Elder Centipede out neatly so as to avoid collateral damage. It's a message he's often needed to hear as he likes to let opponents knock him around a bit before taking them out.

I don't fault webcomic Saitama for letting Tatsumaki do as much damage to the cities she pushed him through as she did: his only experiences were of Boros (who damaged only his own ship) and Awaakened Garou (who did no lasting harm). He wasn't to know that she was as reckless as she was.

Manga Saitama has no such excuse. He has this notion that self-defeat is the greatest defeat and just lets people vent. However, he's had more experiences and he's seen first hand the devastation a desperate opponent can do. I will be very disappointed in him if he lets an increasingly frantic Tatsumaki use him as a wrecking ball. He should know the pain of losing a place to live and appreciate that even if he can take it, other people can't take the damage she'll deal. I don't want a repeat of this:

a quick defeat is often the kindest defeat for all concerned

#OPM #meta #long #review #update 221 #update 222 #Saitama #Fubuki #Tatsumaki #Tsukuyomi #yes this farrago has come to the boiling point #turns out there was method to Tatsumaki's madness #Tsukuyomi is indeed a threat -- whoever they send next won't make the same mistakes as this guy #While Tatsumaki often has a point her solutions are too harsh #Saitama stepping in to stop a crime from happening and her from causing more damage was good #I just hope he has a plan to end it well that doesn't involve millions of dollars in property damage

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notyourtoday · 4 months

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Caption on post - Yesterday's updates on Nakba Day (May 15), as Palestinians commemorated 76 years of the ongoing Nakba, Gaza has gone through 222 days of genocide. Gaza itself was born out of the Nakba, so on this day we must understand that what is being committed against the Palestinians in Gaza is not separate from the ongoing Nakba, it is part of the constant process of colonization and displacement of Palestinians from our homeland.

By @letstalkpalestine2 on Instagram

Link to post.

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allidrawscomics · 4 months

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Tigress Queen pages 222-224

TQ is back with an extended update!

#webcomics #tigress queen #hiveworks

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seung-scrittore · 2 years

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new posting schedule ! :)

fics every saturday at 8:00 PM EST

#[ 🧷 ] .222 #itll auto update starting tomorrow ! im not too active n my account is dying over here so i figured id finally get back into posting !

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pinksmonkey · 2 months

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The Ultimate Byler Evidence/Analysis List (Part 3)

If you missed parts 1 or 2, here they are: Part 1 and Part 2

198. Bi Mike Masterpost

199. Byler Parallels Masterpost

200. The Choices The Writers Made

201. The Significance Of Mileven Not Getting Each Other

202. The Importance Of Byler Getting Each Other

203. The Importance Of Byler Getting Each Other - Part 2

204. Moments I've Been Thinking About

205. The Painting Ensures Byler Endgame

206. Byler Canon-Comforts

207. Will's Season 5 Arc

208. Elmike's Transition

209. Mike, Will, And El's Individual Arcs Each Season

210. Mike Wheeler's Playlist

211. I Ship It Because It's Endgame

212. I Love You On Your Bad Days

213. Mike Wasn't Lying When He Said "I Love You" And It Doesn't Rule Out Byler Endgame

214. Mike Was Thinking About Will When He Jumped Off The Cliff

215. Will Needs Mike

216. So Many Things Wrong With This Post

217. Why Byler Is Endgame

218. Amount Of Byler Scenes Compared To Mileven

219. Mike's Choice Of Words

220. Fundamentally A Story About Queer Themes

221. We Should Talk About This Way More

222. The Gay Beautician/Hairdresser Trope

223. If Byler Doesn't Happen

224. You Only Need To Understand Five Things

225. Who's Getting Books And Who Isn't?

226. Crafting A Confession

227. You're The Heart

228. Pocketgate Details You Might Have Missed

229. The Piggyback Drawing

230. Green Socks

231. Byler Fights VS Mileven Fights

232. I Didn't Say It, You Didn't Have To

233. Heroes

234. The Difference Between The Monologues Is Obvious

235. "Something I Never Stop Thinking About"

236. The Importance of Tiger Pride

237. Why Heroes Will Be Back

If you have anything else you think should be added to the list, let me know, leave a link in the comments or a repost. I will continue updating this list with any new awesome analyses. Happy Byler-ing! ☺️

238. Season 1 Mike Queercoding

239. Fandom's Reaction To The Will Is Gay Theory Repeating With Mike

240. Tropes and Byler

241. The Superman Reference

242. Milevens Are Insane

243. Mileven's Season

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twice-inamillion · 9 months

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Without Sana

Angst and Story Building (Sadness, Depression, Grieving), Fluff

Chapter 222

1,755 Words

(A terrifying moment for Sana. It is the first tour without Sana. Living day by day with some hope for a better future. )

The timer goes off for the baked sweet potatoes that Nayeon had in the oven. She puts on her gloves, opens the oven door, removes the potatoes, and places them on the counter. She unwraps the tinfoil of one, blows on it, and takes a bite.

“Yes! It’s good. I didn’t burn it this time. Let’s have Sana give it a try.”

She goes up the stairs and knocks on Sana’s door, “Sana, the potatoes are ready,” but there is no answer. She opened the door and saw that no one was there. “Is Sana’s still in the bath?”

Nayeon walks towards the bathroom and knocks on the door, “Sana, it's me, Nayeon. Are you still in there?” No, answer. She places her hand and the door knob and gives it a turn, but it's locked. “Sana, open the door. You’ve been in the bath for almost an hour,” but still no answer. She places her ear on the door and can only hear the calming music Sana uses when taking a bath. She knocks on the door again, “Sana, please open the door; it’s not funny.” This time she bangs on the door, grabs the doorknob tightly, and turns it around violently. She gives it a couple of tries until it opens and is overwhelmed by the amount of steam and the smell.

She turned on the lights and saw Sana submerged underwater, with her eyes closed. In a panic, she makes her way to Sana, gets inside the tub, and grabs the arm of the nude Sana, “Sana, no! What are you doing?” She pulls Sana out of the water, grabs her by the end of the neck, and slaps her cheek, “Wake up, Sana. Wake up.”

Nayeon keeps on slapping Sana’s cheek until she slowly regains consciousness and coughs out the water she took in.

*cough… cough… cough…

“Sana, look at me. Sana, are you okay?”

“Nayeon unnie?”

Nayeon wraps her arms around Sana and says, “Please, don’t do that ever again. You’re very important to us; we care about you; don’t ever forget it.”

“Unnie! I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

—————

You arrive home a few hours later and find Nayeon and Sana in the living room. Sana sleeps on Nayeon’s lap, and she caresses her head.

“How did today go?”

Nayeon pulls out her phone, sending you a message, “I’ll tell you later. Can you help me take her to her room?” You nod, slowly pick up Sana, and take her to her room. You place her gently on the bed, with Nayeon covering her with her bedsheets.

Exiting the bedroom, you head downstairs towards the kitchen with Nayeon. She prepares a plate of food for both of you and talks about the events that occurred today. You listen to how she had to break into the bathroom, pull Sana out of the shower, and worry about her safety. She mentions that she will sleep with her tonight and talk to the rest of the members when they return home from visiting their parents.

You let her know that you’re worried about not having them around once they leave on tour in the States. She reassures you that you will do a good job and keep an eye on her, never leaving her alone for an extended period. The two of you continued to talk until late at night before heading back upstairs.

————

A few days have passed, and the members are putting their luggage into the company van. On the other hand, the mommies are saying goodbye to their children as they will be away for about fifteen days.

“Jisoo, you got to be a good girl and watch over your sisters, okay?” Jisoo nods and hugs Jihyo before giving her back to her mother.

“Aww, my baby. I wish I could take you, but I can’t.” She looks at Jihyo’s mom and asks if she could update her on Da-eun’s condition daily. “I’ll be more than happy to, honey. You have my number, so you can call me or text me at any time,” says Jihyo’s mom.

“Thank you for watching over Da-eun for me.”

“No problem. She’s like a grandchild to me. I’m more than happy to.”

Ari and Hina hug Mina one last time, saying, “Take good care of each other and make sure to listen to the adults.” They both nod their heads and give her a gummy smile. “Thank you for looking out for the twins,” says Mina to Chaeyoung’s mom. “I’m more than happy too. Even though it's going to be for a couple of days, I’m looking forward to it.” “My mom said that she was going to come down to Korea within the next few days to visit the girls so it wouldn’t burden you too much.” Chaeyoung’s mother laughs and says, “Oh, they won’t be a burden. I raised Chaeyoung and her brother alone, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“They can be a handful in their own ways,” as she looks at the smiling twins.

“Make sure to take care of yourself,” the members say as they hug Sana. “I really want to go with you guys.” Jihyo responds, “We’ll video call you as much as possible so you don’t miss out, but your health is the priority.” She looks at you and says, “Take care of her, okay? My mom and Chaeyoung’s mom will be with you and watch over the kids, but I need you to watch over Sana.” You nod and hug everyone except Jeongyeon since she doesn’t want to before you all say goodbye.

With the members gone, the rest of you head to the house and spend some family time together. The kids play with Jihyo and Chaeyoung’s mom in the backyard while you and Sana help make sandwiches. Your goal is to keep her busy and close to you, just like Jihyo said. Hearing what happened with Nayeon, you’re scared of something like that repeating itself, so you want to keep Sana as safe as possible.

“I’m going to take this to the girls outside.”

“Thank you, Sana. I’ll be there soon.”

Sana heads to the playground and gets the children to sit by the shade to enjoy their sandwiches. “How are you doing, son?”

Spaced out, you return to the real world and see Jihyo’s mom next to you, grabbing some napkins, “I’m doing okay. Just hanging in there.”

“You must be worried about Sana, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Focus on Sana and her wellbeing. Let us focus on the kids. Jihyo has told me how much she wanted a baby. Having a miscarriage is going to be a difficult time for both of you. Take care of her, okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Family has to stick together.”

“I’m surprised you’re so supportive.”

“I somewhat knew about the type of relationship my daughter had. She loves the girls and you, so I had an idea of what could have happened. Plus, she told me that she instigated some of it.”

You can’t help but laugh at how Jihyo instigated and mentioned it to her own mother but can’t do anything about it now. Jihyo’s mom pats your back and heads back to the girls who are eating their sandwiches.

———

It’s been a few days since the members left, and the babies are doing well. Jisoo and Da-eun spend their nights in her grandparents' house while the twins sleep in Chaeyoung’s room with Chaeyoung’s mom.

Sana, on the other hand, has been sticking to you like glue. She has been with you most of the time, anywhere from eating together, going out on morning walks, helping you in your home office, showering, and sleeping together. She has tried to be upbeat like her usual self, but sometimes, you notice her spacing out or avoiding touching her stomach when you try washing her. When it comes to sleeping, she could want to cuddle with you and sometimes cry herself to sleep. You try to console her, but she always asks, “Am I a failure as a woman? Why couldn’t I keep our baby safe?” There are no words that you can say to make her understand that it is not her fault. The only thing you can do now is be there for her and support her throughout the grieving process.

Sana walks up late in the morning and hears footsteps downstairs. She heads on and sees Jisoo and the twins playing with each other in the living while Jihyo’s mom holds Da-eun in her arms.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, Sana.”

“Good mornings, babies.”

The children stopped running, turned to Sana, and smiled at her before continuing their game. Sana walks towards the couch, sits next to Jihyo’s mom, and greets Da-eun. “Good morning, Da-eun.” She smiles and lifts her hand up, “Would you like to carry her?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, she’s probably hungry, so I’ll make her a bottle.”

“Okay, I’ll hold her.”

She passes Da-eun into Sana’s arms and notices her demeanor change. Hungry, Da-eun rubs her face onto Sana’s chest, making her giggle. “That tickles; you must be a hungry little one.” “Sana, it seems like Da-eun likes your smell. She must miss suckling on Dahyun’s breasts. How about you letting her suck on yours?”

Sana looks up with a faint smile, “Really?”

“She might find it comforting, especially since she likes you.”

She turns to Da-eun and says, “Aww, you like me?” Da-eun giggles and grabs Sana’s thumb, making Sana giggle as well. “Okay, let’s try it .” She lifts up her oversized shirt, which exposes her breasts. Gently, she brings Da-eun to her breast, and with no hesitation, Da-eun rubs her nose against her nipple, which causes her to laugh again before taking it into her mouth. Da-eun enthusiastically begins to suckle on her nipple. “Da-eun, that tickles.” She closes her eyes and relaxes, feeling the warmth that she gets from Da-eun being attached to her.

Coming home from your morning jog, you enter the house and see Sana sitting on the couch. You walk to Sana and notice her caressing Da-eun’s head, “I don’t have any milk, but I’ll take care of you while Dahyun’s away,” showing a part of her you haven’t seen in a while.

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