#ur making me insane. u are doing some cocomelon shit to me

[kylejsugarman]

I so wanna hear your thoughts on how au squared would change Jesse as a character esp S1 Jesse… like with how protective he is of kids I can’t imagine him being nearly as irresponsible as he was in canon, not with an infant daughter to look after. I’d imagine he’d try a lot harder to get and stay sober, my thinking is he relapsed from the stress of taking care of both Ginny and Baby, and then Ginny’s death just made everything worse as he scrambled to support them so his parents wouldn’t take custody, so he’s still in a pretty bad place and without a support system when Walt meets him. I also think Walt would lean a lot more heavily into the “doing this to support my family” angle to manipulate him, ex: “Do you want Baby to grow up without a future just because you’ve squandered your own? We’re doing this for our daughters remember” That kind of thing

u literally have the vision and the understanding and the insight, u completely understand where im coming from here. jesse is absolutely in a bad place when walt extorts him for the reasons u mentioned: he doesn't have ginny anymore, he can't trust his parents because he knows that for all their concern for baby they would take her from him in an instant, and he (believes that) doesn't have the skills or sobriety or schedule to hold down a job that pays well enough to support them. making meth is basically the best arrangement since there's no "schedule" and the money is good ("why do u do this?" "uh money mostly"), but that's obviously not great for his own drug use so it often comes down to "do i avoid drugs and potentially run out of money to feed my kid or do i peddle meth for good money and relapse constantly??" he tries really hard to be responsible, but it's a really stressful situation to be in and jesse finds himself lashing out in his daily life and self-medicating with drugs to cope with that stress. baby herself is basically the only thing in the world that makes him truly happy and he'll do whatever he can to give her what she deserves

walt, always the hypocrite, is disgusted with this choice even though he's essentially entering the drug business for the same reason and is constantly vocalizing his repulsion. insulting jesse for being a bad father is up there with demeaning his intelligence and berating him for using drugs in terms of go-to abuse tactics for walt, because he Knows that it cuts to the core. jesse will do Anything he wants if walt makes him believe that it's good for baby. in a sad way, jesse trusts walt on that front since walt has much more experience being a father, even though walt's parenting is extremely flawed and just continues to deteriorate as the series goes on, and sincerely believes everything that walt says about family (including walt's insults about jesse's capacity to be a father). walt knows how much jesse trusts and believes what he says, and weaponizes that a lot, especially later in the series once he truly witnesses just how much jesse loves baby and starts to lose his hold on jesse. the whole poisoning thing is so much more painful because the whole time leading up to it, walt is berating jesse for being in this business and getting involved with gus and mike when he "has a little girl at home waiting for him", but he emphatically decides to poison baby Because he knows it's the one thing that'll totally break jesse and get him back on his side. if jesse has reason to believe that gus hurt his daughter, he'll kill him and anyone else that walt asks him to. it's the perfect kill switch for walt, one that he built himself through months of eroding jesse's confidence and sense of self-worth.

in a lot of ways, au squared jesse is similar in that he lashes out a lot and is easy to manipulate through exploitation of his insecurities and the promise of love, but these things go deeper because jesse is even more insecure and even more desperate for love since he has so little support. he latches onto walt despite the abuse because walt is an adult who is at least providing some kind of guidance. he latches onto Everyone. while he may not be as completely reckless as his regular counterpart, jesse tries really hard to repress all of his feelings and anxieties when he's with baby just to avoid making things worse, and those bottled-up feelings manifest pretty violently and angrily once he's away from her and it can be hard to control himself. he just wants to do right by his daughter and keep her safe, but it's a huge struggle and everyone around him (walt especially) is ready to take advantage of this huge vulnerability