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morning-star-joy · 1 year

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a stranger's heart without a home epilogue

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, Post-Outbreak

Chapter Summary: Now that you've found a place by Joel's side, you know you'll never leave.

Chapter Warnings/Tags: Smut (18+ Only MDNI) unprotected p in v sex, praise kink. Language (y'all know it by now), so much Fluff

A/N: We will return to this story with one-shots, drabbles, sequels, prequels, AUs, and whatever else I can think up, because I love these characters sm and I don't think I can ever let them go completely. But I hope that you guys enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. All my love sent to every one of you!

Wordcount: 3k

chapter 1 || chapter 19 || chapter 20 || masterlist

ao3 link

Waking up without being wrapped up in Joel’s warmth was not a feeling you were fond of.

So when your eyes slowly blinked open one morning, the bed empty beside you, a deep frown crossed your face as you were immediately thrown into a bad mood.

You grumbled to yourself, turning over to try and get some more sleep, even though you knew it was a hopeless cause when you were alone.

With a sigh, you pushed yourself up, glaring at his unoccupied side of the bed before slowly getting out of bed.

Despite your grumpy, early morning annoyance, you moved about his bedroom subconsciously, stooping down to pick up your panties that had landed across the room last night to pull them on before grabbing his flannel next.

Walking towards the hallway as you buttoned the shirt up, you paused in the doorway, head lifting as you sniffed at the air again when a peculiar scent caught your attention.

Was that…?

That frown that had been fixed on your face since you woke up quickly evaporated, melting into a small smile as you made your way towards the staircase, taking the steps two at a time before swinging around and heading towards where that delicious smell was coming from.

You didn’t try and sneak around Joel, but your footsteps were light by nature, and he had no idea you had found your way into the edge of the room as he turned over whatever was sizzling in the pan on the stove—though you had a pretty good idea just what it was from the smell.

Unable to help yourself, you loitered in the doorway, leaning against it with arms crossed, head resting against the edge as you watched him make you breakfast with a warm smile on your face.

When he turned to grab something off the counter, he finally saw you, jumping with a mumbled curse, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly to yourself at the sight of such a prepared man being taken aback.

Joel’s eyes darted across your face and down your body, a small smirk twitching onto his lips at the sight of his flannel barely reaching past your thighs as he murmured, “Morning, darlin’.”

“Good morning,” you hummed in response, pushing yourself off the doorframe to walk towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a slow, sweet kiss before the sound of popping from the pan made him tear himself away from you.

You glanced towards the pan, seeing that your theory had been correct, but you still found yourself asking with a growing smile, “Is that bacon?”

“Yup,” Joel replied, stealing a glance at you as he was in the midst of turning the strips of thin, crispy meat over again, checking that they were fully cooked before removing the pan from the heat. “Gift from Tommy.”

“How kind of him,” you teased, reaching for one of the pieces of bacon before Joel playfully swatted your hand away.

“Table,” he insisted, nodding towards the small table next to the window where he insisted you ate your meals together, and you sighed dramatically, even as you were helpless to resist his endearing Southern manners while you walked towards it.

Plopping yourself down in a seat, you rested your chin on your hand, content to watch the domestic scene of him setting the bacon on three plates along with the eggs he had apparently also scrambled, before bringing two of the plates towards you.

You knew the last plate was to be saved for Ellie, and you smiled at the simple show of his affection for his surrogate daughter, before turning your attention towards your food.

The two of you ate in comfortable silence, not needing to fill the air between you with any unnecessary words, the same way it had always been between you, even before…this.

It was funny, how once you had allowed yourself to start falling, you couldn’t stop.

Most of your days were spent in Joel’s home now instead of your own. It wasn’t an adjustment either of you commented on, as most things went unspoken between you—but you had caught Joel’s smile when you brought your sister’s childhood drawing over to rest on the fireplace mantle next to Ellie’s drawing of Joel.

With your clothes in his closet and the old photograph that you had caught him observing set up next to his pictures with his daughters on his dresser—“your parents?” he had asked one day, and you nodded, letting him take in the picture without forcing you to speak on the matter until you were ready—you settled right into your place by his side, knowing for certain that now you had found your spot there, you would never leave.

When Ellie burst through the back door, saying something about smelling bacon until she froze in the doorway at the sight of you sitting at Joel’s table, in his flannel, sharing his breakfast with him, the young girl burst into laughter as your cheeks flushed, and Joel groaned.

“Ellie—”

“I knew it!” Ellie cackled, pointing between you with a gleeful glint in her eye. “We all fucking knew it!”

Joel rolled his eyes, glancing at you to make sure you were okay, but you were smiling yourself now, trying to obscure a giggle with a cough as he shook his head and rose to grab the third plate of breakfast.

It didn’t take much coaxing for Ellie to join you at the small table then once Joel brought over another chair, and you glanced between the two with a grin as Ellie refused to let Joel eat in peace, teasing him over your presence at every single opportunity, and drawing a laugh from you every time she did so.

Joel just shook his head, letting out sighs every time Ellie would rib him about it, but you saw the warmth in the smile he tried to conceal behind each bite as he looked between the two of you, sitting together with him in his home.

When Ellie left to meet up with Dina and Jesse for some regularly scheduled mayhem for the day, you barely began to clean the dishes before Joel’s hands were on you, sliding up your thighs and under the flannel while he tugged you back into him.

“Joel—”

He interrupted your half-hearted protests with his lips pressed to yours, drawing moans from your mouth as he turned and lifted you easily, setting you on the edge of the counter to take you while you still wore his shirt.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you remembered the first time you had found yourselves like this—pressed against the counter in your kitchen, your back to him as he fucked into you until you both found much-needed release, no matter how short, how temporary.

Now he held you tightly to him, rolling his hips into you at a leisurely pace, facing you fully with his lips pressed to yours again and again, taking all the time in the world with you.

Because that was what you had.

All the time in the world.

When you were finished, it didn’t last for long, only taking the time to clean up the mess you had made before you were scooped up into his arms, your bright laughter echoing through the house as he carried you up the stairs to have you again in his bed.

You would never get tired of being with him like this, and you knew he felt the same just from the words he murmured every time he was inside of you—murmurs of “fuck, sweetheart, so perfect, so good for me” and whimpers of “oh, mi luna, always want you, always.”

That late morning, when you were spent in his arms, cheek pressed against his chest to listen to his heartbeat slow back down to a calming pace, you found yourself saying quietly, “Hey, Joel?”

“Hm?” he hummed, fingers dragging up and down your spine in a lazy, affectionate manner, and you smiled against his skin before pulling yourself up so you could share his pillow with him.

“I’m gonna ask you something, just—” you cut yourself off, sighing as you felt your cheeks heat, avoiding his searching, curious gaze before you mumbled, “Just don’t laugh.”

“Mm,” he hummed again, arching an eyebrow as you looked back at him, and you smacked him in the chest as he teased, “No promises.”

“Fuck you,” you snapped, the harsh words devoid of any bite and instead filled with a fond warmth, and he chuckled, the sound softening you as you gazed into his eyes and asked, “Do you believe in other lives?”

Joel’s brow furrowed, clearly wondering what had brought this on as he looked over your face, but to his credit, he didn’t judge your line of thought as he replied truthfully, “I dunno, I’ve never really thought about it. Why?”

With a sigh, you traced the lines of his face with the tips of your fingers, grazing them over the scar near his temple as you answered, “I just…”

You shrugged, trying to avoid his gaze again as you suddenly felt self-conscious, stupid at the soft sentiment that you had been mulling over the past few nights.

But Joel was having none of that.

“Look at me.”

Even though the gentle, firm command made you blink in surprise, you followed it instantly, almost subconsciously as your gaze flickered up to meet his.

Joel searched your eyes, probably trying to find the reason for this unexpected question, and you distracted yourself from his quick calculation by glancing down his own body when he shifted himself to face you better.

Between his legs, you could see his cock was stirring again just from having you this close to him, half-hard and Jesus, even though he had just fucked you so well—twice—you still wanted him. You were sore and aching, blissed out from far more than one orgasm and you still wanted him.

Would you ever stop wanting him?

Biting your lip, you began to wonder if you could convince him to partake in a third round, and then maybe then you could bring it up, pour your soul out to him as you rode his dick that you watched twitch under your rapt attention.

Knowing that just the simplicity of your eyes on him evoked such a response from him, your desire for him eliciting his own desire for you, made your heart begin to race again, and, fuck, now you just wanted to—

Your name being muttered pulled your attention back as you began to fully space out, and you blinked a few times, looking up as Joel gently pushed you back onto the bed to hover over you.

His thumb brushed along the scar on your cheek, a story you had yet to tell him, just as he had yet to tell you the story of the one on his temple. You knew you would speak of each hidden part of your lives eventually, but you were in no rush, content in how you already knew him as well as you knew yourself.

“Look at me,” he murmured again, and you did.

Joel’s thumb moved to stroke along your chin and up the edge of your jaw, and your eyelashes fluttered, helpless to resist his request as he whispered, “Tell me.”

Licking your lips, you finally found the courage in his comforting warmth to say, “Do you think we found each other?”

Joel’s brow furrowed, still not following your line of thought, and you sighed quietly, heart racing in your chest as you clarified, “In another life.”

At the clarification, Joel’s face softened, his hand reaching back up to cup your cheek as his eyes locked with yours.

Open, honest, real, and you knew that if you did meet him in any other lives, you were without a doubt fated to helplessly fall for him all over again.

“Do you think we found each other in another life?” you asked quietly, breath trembling as you danced your fingers over his face, cupping his cheek in the same way he still held yours. “Where nothing bad ever happened to us?”

Joel’s lips were already pressed to yours, desperately kissing you as you finished the question, and you sighed into the affectionate action, knowing his answer even before he parted from you to speak.

“I hope so,” he whispered, bumping his nose against yours as he stole another kiss before laying back down to face you on his side again. “Sarah would have loved you.”

The genuine comment brought a surprised laugh from you, the sound nothing but fond as you smiled at him. “And my Little Star would have loved you.”

Joel returned your smile, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer, his forehead resting against yours before he asked, “What would this life have looked like?”

You hummed in thought, resting your cheek against the pillow to glance over his face, the open, earnest affection in his deep brown gaze, considering the question before answering, “I go to school for photography, and my sister and I move in next door to you.”

“Interesting,” Joel said slowly, his brow arching as he smiled slowly at the scenario you were setting up. “Go on.”

“Well, you are absolutely smitten with me at first sight, of course,” you teased, heart racing as the word smitten left your lips, the description much closer to the feelings you shared for each other, but never dared to speak of directly, even now.

To his credit, Joel didn’t hesitate, his eyes filled with warmth that was only for you as he murmured without missing a beat, “Of course.”

Butterflies were taking flight in your stomach to fill your entire being, and you suddenly felt like you were in something as close to heaven as you could get, unable to help but grin as you continued, “My sister and Sarah become best friends. Tommy’s there too, of course—he comes over for dinner every Friday.”

“Damn, can’t get rid of him even in our fantasy,” Joel teased, and you smacked his shoulder, earning a deep chuckle from him that made your heart skip a beat.

“Every Saturday, we have our movie night, with all five of us,” you continued, speaking slowly, as if you didn’t want this fantasy to come to an end as you imagined it in the comfort of your shared bed with Joel. “With my feet in your lap, and you and Tommy complain about the acting while the girls laugh and tell you both to shut up.”

Joel’s smile was still on his face, but it softened even more into something you didn’t recognize, a look you had seen from him on occasion, one that made your heart race as you struggled to find the next words, “And on Sundays, we spend the mornings in bed, like this. You fuck me, and I kiss you, and you say—”

“I love you.”

Your heart stopped.

You looked at Joel, seeing his entire soul laid bare to you as he placed his heart into your hands without a second thought.

And then your heart started again, pounding against your chest as you licked your lips and whispered the truth you had known, deep down in your soul, for a long time, “I love you, too.”

Joel’s smile then could be described as almost giddy, his kisses nearly joyous as he pressed them to your lips and all over your face, and you laughed, wrapping your arms around him, limbs entangling as you rolled around in your bed and kissed and kissed until you both lost your breath.

When you settled again, foreheads pressed together as you tried to catch your breath, you asked quietly, “When did you know?”

Joel tucked a hair behind your ear, shrugging a shoulder as he answered, “I don’t know. I think I knew for a while, in some way.”

You hummed, giving your agreement to the sentiment in the sound as you gazed at each other, no more barriers left between you as he added softly, “I think that, when I met you—I could tell.”

Propping yourself up on your elbow, you raised an eyebrow as you asked, “Really?”

“Well,” he licked his lips, shifting onto his back to gaze up at you, his hand caressing your back as he explained, “Not love, but—there was some part of you that felt like a part of me.”

You softened then, tears nearly springing to your eyes as you knew exactly what he meant. It was a feeling you had experienced too, for a longer time than you think you even knew. Joel had always been a kindred spirit to you, not only in being a cold cynic, but in the loneliness deep inside his heart. For so long, you had no place to call home, and he was exactly the same.

And now he was your home, as you were his.

“Is that why you created those stupid fucking rules?” you asked, the comment eliciting a laugh out of him that you joined in with. “To keep me away?”

Joel’s thumb stroked along the small of your back, surprising you as he nodded. “Yeah, it was.”

You were struck silent for a moment, feeling an old ache in your chest that was only satisfied when you leaned down to kiss him again. “Well, you did a great job at keeping them.”

“Mm,” he hummed in content into your mouth, chasing your lips for another longer, deeper kiss when you pulled away. “I’m glad I didn’t.”

“Yeah,” you murmured, kissing him again before you laid on top of him, resting your head back onto his chest. “Me too.”

After a long moment of silence that was filled with nothing but an understanding for each other that rested in your souls, you spoke again.

“So it’s settled, then,” you said, raising your head back up to look down into his eyes. “You’ll find me in the next one.”

Joel smiled up at you, cupping your cheek as he pulled you down into a long, lingering kiss that told you everything you needed to know.

Still, he said it aloud, and you finally found peace with the four simple words.

“I’ll always find you.”

#joel miller x reader #joel x f!reader #joel x reader #joel miller series #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #joel x reader smut #a stranger's heart series #posting this through tears as I listen to we're in love by boygenius on my vinyl which heavily influenced the epilogue

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felice-jaganshi · 4 months

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Alastor's Leash

Chapter 8

(Here we go, finally got to my favorite part! Everyone excited?!)

Alastor felt another tug on his soul. Except this time, it wasn't the cold, sickly sweet feel of Lilith's tug… it was warm, like whiskey in his veins. An image came to his mind, a fox sniffing the ground, hunting. Zariah? No, shit! If she found him, Lilith would kill her! He had to protect her! His eyes were useless right now, but he still had his ears! He stood up, despite his deer instincts insisting he stay still while blinded like this. No, he was stronger than any stupid “instinct”! He was a demon, a powerful monster, and by damn it all, HE WOULD MOVE!

He tugged at his chains, trying to break them. Before he could really make any progress, he heard the sound of the door opening. Fuck, had she come back already?!

_-_--__--_-

Soon as the door opened Al heard a sob and feet rushing towards him.

“Al!” It was Zariah! He remained completely frozen when he heard her, trying not to react in case Lilith was there. He couldn't be sure.

Vox huffed and turned down the lights, “The fuck is it so bright in here for?!”

Now that got Alastor's reaction, “V-vox?” He turned his head, but still couldn't see. He felt soft hands on his cheeks and felt warmth fill not just his face, but his soul.

“Al, it's okay, we're gonna get you out of here.”

“N-no, you shouldn't be here. She'll kill you. How did you get here?” His vision slowly returned to him and her worried smile was so lovely to see, but also left him terrified.

“Ugh, just be glad she loves you enough to fucking rescue your worthless ass!” Vox growled and started trying to cut the chains.

“That's a waste of time, they're her power over me. The symbol of her Contract.” He hated telling Vox, but Zariah needed to know how hopeless the situation was.

“My soul belongs to her completely. I am essentially a Puppet for her to do with as she will and this is what happens when I disobey an order.”

Zariah focused on healing him, placing a kiss to his bloodied forehead. Vox looked away, feeling a strange mix of feelings from… all of this.

“Fine, then we just need to break your contract. You've said your half, but what does she give you? There's always an equivalent side to these things.”

“...Her not killing me was the deal. I lost to her in battle, so in exchange for not killing me, my soul is hers until I find someone I'd willingly give it to.” He scrunched his nose in distaste as his grin turned sour.

Zariah's eyes lit up, “Al… do you trust me?” She asked, she finished healing him, and all the knives were out at least.

He smiled fondly at her, “ Mon Amour … yes, I do.”

“Then… offer me your soul. If you give it to me, it'll break your deal with Lilith!” She looked serious, and Alastor's eyes filled with panic and fear.

It was just… instinctive! Of course he'd be afraid of giving someone else control of him! Even if that someone was kind and caring… People change when they have power over you. They always do.

“I… I can't.” He looked away.

Vox laughed, “Ha! Fucking coward! Afraid of the one person who'd never fucking betray you?! Can't believe I ever wanted what you two fucking have! What- what a joke!” He smirked at Alastor, “You'll never change. You'll never really trust or love anyone.”

Alastor growled at him, “Oh shut up Vox, you only ever wanted me for your perverted-”

“OH FUCK NO!” Vox cut him off with a full volume shout, “You NEVER let me explain myself back then! All I wanted was a special name for us! To call what we had special! I didn't want to fuck you! I just wanted us to be special! Literally what you have with the fox bimbo!”

Zariah pouted at that, “Hey… Imma bite you later for that one.”

“Like you could actually be satisfied with that kind of relationship? I've seen how frequently you enjoyed taking men and women to your room back then, it'd only be a matter of time before you desired more than I was willing to give.” Alastor huffed, refusing to lose at this.

“No I fucking wouldn't! I'd still be fucking other people Al! I'm not asking us to be exclusive! I just wanted to hold my best friend!” Vox started crying angry tears. “Why are you so fucking stupid?! You big dumb asshole! I fucking love you, and I just wanted to be special to you! Just wanted you to know you were special to me too.” He tried to wipe his screen, but it didn't stop the tears. Zariah frowned and got up from Al, hugged Vox and let him loudly sob on her shoulder.

Alastor watched them with confusion… they were getting along?? Why?! Shouldn't Zariah hate that someone else loved him like she did?

“I… don't understand either of you at all…” He confessed.

He then took a deep breath,

“You know… back before Lucifer's wedding, I gave him some advice. I told him if he was a real man, to grow a spine and believe in himself, and to believe in his beloved… I think it's time I took my own advice. Zariah… I give you my soul. Freely of my own will, it is yours to do with what you will.” He felt his heart racing as he said the words, it felt like ice was flowing in his veins and everything inside him screamed this was a mistake.

The chains suddenly disappeared from his body and he fell forward, exhaustion overtaking him for a moment. Zariah let go of Vox and went to help him sit back up. She held his face in both of her hands, and gently kissed his forehead. “I accept your offer. I'll keep it safe and sound. Just like you have mine, remember?” She asked, she summoned the chain for their soul deal, only for it to have changed forms. It was now a ring around each of their ring fingers, connected by a chain. It was a combination of his green, and her blue, swirling together.

He nodded, looking at the ring. He put one hand around his neck, glad to only feel skin there and not another collar of some kind. This… wasn't so bad… he'd already been through this with her and Rosie months ago… It was an equivalent exchange. They owned each other… which would have metaphorically happened with the wedding anyway. He took a deep breath. “Don't… make me regret this… please.” He sounded so tired and defeated. So vulnerable.

She hugged him and purred, “It's okay Al, you're safe now. I promise, I'll never hurt you. I love you.”

Vox huffed, “That's great and all, now how about we go out there and kick Lilith's ass? The others are waiting for us.”

#hazbin hotel #alastor x oc #ace alastor #alastor x reader #aroace alastor #alastor #alastor's pet #platonic alastor x reader #lucifer morningstar #fallen apple #voxal #hazbin hotel vox #radiostatic #platonic radiostatic #fallen angel

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in-starlit-nights · 4 months

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Songs that make me think of Elriel #2.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds18Ozzp8h0

Maneskin - Honey (are you coming?)

Meet me there where it never closes Meet me there where it's never hopeless All is fair in love, oh-oh-oh Honey, are you coming?

I know a place downtown, babe, if you wanna go I'm gonna show you how this Italian amor Is gonna love you harder than ever before You will li-i-i-i-ike it We're gonna get sky-high and create a new world Where somebody might die, but nobody gets hurt And if it sounds good for you, baby, just say the word You will li-i-i-i-i-ike it (ah)

It's 5 AM We feel so good, it's almost frightening It's 5 AM I'm made for you, we can't deny it

Meet me there where it never closes Meet me there where it's never hopeless All is fair in love, oh-oh-oh Honey, are you coming? Meet me there where it never closes Meet me there, I'll give you your roses All is fair in love, oh-oh-oh Honey, are you coming?

Before I found this place I was feeling so blue But then it turned me out, let it do it to you It's not a one-night stand if it turns into two Oh, I li-i-i-i-i-ike it (yeah)

It's 5 AM We feel so good, it's almost frightening Let's try again I don't deserve you, you're a diamond

Honey, are you coming?

#elriel #elain x azriel #acotar

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jerrydreams · 8 months

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Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire

Once again, Zach goes in with an open mind. Again he's rejected, but he confidently decides to prove that he was wrong. Again, just like with DC, he goes bare-knuckle on the huge Disney corporation. Everyone loved the story then and everyone was waiting (and longing) for it now. But behind the crusade of a peculiar director comes a film education that isn't quite coherent. In Snyder's exceptional style, with slo-mo and pathos taken to the absolute (absurd), this, in some places quite ancient Greek saga, looks like a set of highly artistic clips.

(Like his "Batman v Superman". But the storyline is still better ).

The lore of the film project is smeared in a thin layer under the feet of the heroes carelessly fighting with evil. The world of those "own", "Snider's", Star Wars, which never fits into this concept. Because it's desperately forlorn. In the creation of George Lucas, from the first moments of any film from the screen, the hope to defeat evil and find the long-awaited peace. In the world of Rebel Moon, heroes go to beat evil to beat evil.

And every hero (and especially the protagonist) is a warrior here. No one has ever found peace on the "green and beautiful" planet (in Zack Snyder's colour correction, any greenery puffs with the brightness of hopelessness and death). Everyone is just waiting for the next twist of fate that will bring them back to the battlefield. And the peace and tranquility that Zack wants to deceive us with is not even seen in the cute village children of simple farmers. (in the second part, the girl from the village begins to perfectly handle the weapon literally from the first touch).

And such atmosphere of eternal movement in the battle to the death is very typical for Warhammer universe. Where every particle of the visible universe breathes war. This is where Zack Snyder would be brilliant. This is his world. How beautiful the Ultramarine giants would look in all that slo-mo. How magnificent would those slow motion and bright flashes from bolt cutter shots illuminate the emblems of the invincible Space Troopers. How beautiful the Dark Eldar played by Zack Snyder would have been. How accurately and succinctly would all this moody colour and slowness fit in the ritual of dressing a space trooper in armour (even stretch it to the whole film). It's as if you can still imagine Zack Snyder in the director's chair as an emperor on a golden throne, almost dead but incredibly powerful.

The film didn't live up to many expectations, but what it sure did well was Evil. Yes, with a capital letter. In these times of resurgent evil, Zack Snyder is definitely pointing the finger at it. This is it. Uncompromising. It's impossible to negotiate with. Vile and powerful, it is sure to hide behind nobility and the promise of freedom, but from goodness. And the time of doubting and self-doubting superheroes is passing. Enough of this illusion that everything can be avoided or get to the bottom of Evil. It has no foundation, but it does have a nature of absolute destruction and total superiority over all that is good. Evil, constantly returns. Perhaps in a different guise and we do not even see it at first (or prefer not to see it), but sooner or later it comes out and begins to do the same thing that it did before - to destroy. And if the world and we change, evil never does. It's always the same. It's always the same. Destruction. And the only thing we need to know is if it can be defeated once and for all. And the only way to find out is to fight it. Like Zack's heroes (and probably himself) do.

Part Two is coming out soon. And despite the first, we're all waiting for the sequel (and the victory over Evil). And we'll all be watching it. Like a mirror.

#rebel moon #zack snyder #movie review #movies #netflix #scifi #star wars #batman #superman

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wisssp · 5 days

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Whistling in the Dark

y'all know the drill by now, it's a Weasley twins x oc piece and if you don't like it, don't read it(:

(i threw a few twists in there i hope you like them)

female reader; first person pov; slow burn; smut; minors-DNI

wc: 1,568

Chapter 5

I woke up in an empty room.

Very classy, Weasleys.

There was nothing I wanted to do more than get the hell out of dodge. I could not face the embarrassment of what had happened last night. I was hopeless and awkward and desperate for love.

Woah.

I need to leave.

It took a total of three minutes for me to gather my things, change my clothes and exit the Gryffindor common room. Thankfully, no one was around. I presume everyone was suffering from the festivities of the previous night, but that was none of my concern. My only concern was not running into the temptation twins on my way back to my room.

As I'm rounding the final corner, the barrels are in sight, and the hairs on my neck stand up.

"Oi, Scamander, I was hoping I'd find you here." I pivot on my heel to see none other than Remus Lupin. Glorious mister Remus Lupin in his brown suit. Not only was my father close with him, I've harbored a little girl crush on this man since I was a child. He visited my sister and I pretty frequently at the burrow, a very nice gentleman. Did I mention he was incredibly handsome?

I ran his way and he scooped me up in a hug and spun me around. Once I landed on my feet he held me at an arms distance to assess my attire. His face contorted into a state of confusion.

"The welcome party was last night and I slept in the Gryffindor common room." I winced, hoping he wouldn't reprimand me.

"Ah that makes sense. Well go inside, grab your sister and change. I'm taking you to get a good meal. I also have a surprise for you two, haven't seen my girls in a while." His wink and use of the phrase 'my girls' left my insides a puddle. I sheepishly smiled at him and nodded my head, rushing inside.

"Paige! Paige! Merlin, please be here." I yelled and ran to the head gurl suite to find Paige laying on her stomach, surrounded by books again with a panicked look on her face.

"What in the hell could be going on?" She bolts upright and I start giggling like a school girl.

"Remus Lupin is outside our common room door at this very minute and we need to get dressed because he's taking us to get food." And with that explanation, a squeal erupted from Paige and she forgot all about her assignments.

A few moments passed and I found myself in a denim mini skirt with a bell-sleeved blue top and my converse. Paige ended up in a soft green v-neck and a pair of ripped jeans. We made our way outside to see Remus sparking up a stogie.

"Ooh can I take a drag?" I scurried over to him as his jaw fell. I ignore the reaction and swipe the cigarette from him, taking in a drag that would suffocate Popeye. His stare lingers for a few moments longer until he clears his throat and stands up. His eyes scanned my legs and finally met my gaze as he licked his lips.

"Shall we?"

We soon arrive to a little run down bar in Hogsmeade and he waltzes right in as if he owns the place. We make our way over to a table where someone with very curly hair is already seated. Remus sits opposite this man and I give him a pointed stare, as if to say 'what in the hell are you doing', when the curly haired man turned and looked at Paige and I.

"Well are you beauties going to join me or just stare at me like I've got nargles coming out of my nose?" Sirius Black cocks a half grin at us, knowing how shocked we are.

Paige practically jumps in his lap while I stand there, mouth agape like a neanderthal. I laugh in astonishment and sit down next to Lupin, slowly clapping.

"Well you sure as shit got me. What the hell is the occasion? Trust me, I'm more than thrilled to see both of you, i'm just mildly confused." I chuckled and smiled at the both of them.

"Well, we know you both haven't seen your father in a bit and we were sent by him to see how the two of you were doing. Remus here, wanted to go it alone but in all reality, I didn't feel like dealing with any responsibilities, I just wanted to see my girls." Black gave us a toothy grin and took a swig of his fire whiskey.

There it is again. My girls.

I could feel my cheeks heating up at Sirius' charm while a hand rested on my thigh. I jolt up, needing to escape the situation.

"I'm stopping at the ladies room, I'll be back in a jiffy." I ran until I reached the mirror of the ladies room and stared at myself for a good minute.

First the twins and now Sirius and Remus? Next it's gonna be Snape or fuckin' McGonagall! I need to sort out my feelings and I need to do it fast because what in the hell-

My inner monologue was cut short when I heard a knock at the door.

"You alright in there, love?" Lupin.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright just needed a minute." I tried to laugh it off until he appeared in the doorway, turning around to lock the door behind him. He walked toward me with his hands in his pockets.

"Look, i'm sorry if I crossed a line. You just didn't look too great and it was more a gesture of checking in rather than anything. Truly, I do apologize for any discomfort I might've caused you." He steps closer to me and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"Remus-" I started, placing my palms against his chest. He took in a deep breath and brought his eyes up to mine.

"It's okay darling, tell me what's wrong." He held my gaze for what seemed like ages, awaiting my response.

"You don't understand. I've been around you my whole life and the more I have grown, the more I have understood that a young woman of my age should not think about a man of your age in the way that I do. It's simply ridiculous and frankly, embarrass-" he grabs my face with both hands and pulls me in, gently placing his lips against my forehead.

Oh my fucking god.

"It's okay. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. We've spent a lot of time around each other so it makes sense." He studies me with a look of softness. His eyes soon take notice of the faint hickeys peppering the area and his face changes.

Good job, Fred.

"Do me a favor, love. Please go show whoever did this how it's really done." He kissed my neck with such delicacy I almost laughed. He then wrapped his free hand around my throat, tucking his thumb under my chin, keeping me where he wanted me. He nipped and sucked and dug his teeth into to sensitive skin of my neck, causing me to be a whimpering mess.

"Oh I will dream about those little sounds you make. Please don't stop." He growls into my skin as I refuse to hold back. He continues to lick and kiss me as if I will disappear when he stops. He soon pulls away in a fit of exasperated breaths as his eyes grow a shade darker.

"You will never know what you do to me. Sirius and I have discussed about you. You are certainly...trouble." His eyes land on my lips once again. He takes a deep breath and turns around, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

What the fuck just happened?

I arrived back at the table a few short moments later to find the three of them laughing until I reached my seat. Sirius fell completely silent once he saw my neck, or what was left of it. His attitude completely changed which was definitely not something I was used to. Paige looked at me quizzically and back at Sirius before she also, saw my neck. Her mouth flew open as she looked between Remus and I. I was fiddling with my nails while he was looking around the bar, sipping his butterbeer.

I couldn't imagine how confused she was. It's only been a week and I've had more male attention than I could've ever wished for. Not to look a gift horse in the mouth but why? Why me and why now?

My train of thought is halted in its tracks by everyone rising up from the table. I follow the group and make my way outside. Remus sparks up a cigarette and I steal it from him once more. He rolls his eyes at me and smirks while I take a drag.

"So are you telling them or am I?" Sirius raises his eyebrows and looks at Remus expectantly. Remus takes a quick drag.

"I will be your transfigurations professor this year." He smiles at Paige, whom is throwing her fists in the air and celebrating. Then his gaze reaches me and darkens.

"The whole year?" I softly question.

"The whole year." His eyes bore into mine as I sigh.

"Joy."

#weasleys #george weasley #weasley twins #fred weasley #george weasley x oc x fred weasley #weasley twins x oc #witd #remus lupin #sirius black #bill weasley #charlie weasley

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lapaixducorbeau · 2 years

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Blog Post #6

So the personal history collage was something I finished but I still wanted to talk about it here. It feels important to the general topic that I'm going to be writing about, I mean it's entirely part of the reason I write. For each photo, I added a poetry piece, either mine or from someone that I found incredibly profound or fitting. The pictures each held meaning and I think I wanted to dissect that here, in a way it helps explain why I write the topic I do, and why I do it the way I do. The first picture was an artwork by Vincent Van Gogh; a skeleton smoking a cigarette. Whatever meaning one might attribute from context or without it, it felt to me like it resonated with my feeling of dread; hence the Sylvia Plath quote I tied to it. The next came from my favorite story, Cyberpunk 2077. A story in which individual fights to stay alive despite the ever-increasing odds against their hopeless health condition. The main character, V, never truly falters, they continue to fight for it was better to burn out than to fade away. To that, the story often alludes to For Whom The Bell Tolls, so a quote from it felt fitting. Next came my actual dog, Estrella. The quote assigned to her screaming portrait was one of rage, which felt fitting because of her often grumpy demeanor. But more than anything, the picture encapsulated how rage will exist in every form. The next was the one without any text. It felt fitting as the picture was of the puppies my dog had. Their expression says enough I feel. In the middle, with the words I love you, was my favorite picture of my grandparents. It is joyful and it reminds me how little time we have and how much we must appreciate what is. It helps me connect to what I write both for this class because of the topic also because they are the reason I continue to write despite the discouragement I've received. Next came an altar, the Mexican tributes given during the day of the dead. With it, is a writing I liked from myself; it resonates with the fact that regardless of what happens to an individual, they will always exist, regardless of where they are. The next picture might seem a bit self-centered until you read the poetry. It is of me holding my guitar with my others in the background. Attached to it is an excerpt of a poem I wrote detailing that I will be remembered for my bad decisions. Something I felt really reminds me to continue to try, to never allow the view of another to deter me from pursuing my writing.

The penultimate picture is one of the East Side Gallery, a place I owe my first poetry award to. I won an award based on a poem of this place and a person that I cared about deeply, this is not that picture but another I took. Yet, a response to my previous poem stands. It reminds me that some things will last only a moment but will leave marks forever.

The final picture is a bittersweet one of my mother and her brother. My uncle passed away a long time ago and his passage has largely impacted my life without me knowing it. He was always a wonderful individual, and without him, many bad things happened. Yet, I am comforted in knowing that my mother and grandparents loved him, and he loved them. The final poem refers to the dreams we hold, where we see those we miss for only a moment, but it is comfort nonetheless. I wished to add the collage but I felt some of the pictures were a bit personal, so I apologize for the lack of the visual.

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onexeyedxtwin · 4 years

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@toonytales said: (Tom and Allison) "Happy Valentines day darling.~" " Happy Valentines day honeysuckle ~." Clyde gets a kiss on each cheek from his partners. On the kitchen table is a new bottle of wine and his favorite pasta on the stove. The wrapped Tom gift is a new cauldron for potions, and wrapped up from Allison is a new plush robe to relax in. Later the kids would receive a new sewing machine and a new suit for Vlad, and for Winnie a bright pink bear holding a hammer and new pink tools.

“Oh you two~ C’mere~”

Clyde pulls Allison & Thomas into a lingering kiss for them each. How he was this lukcy to have two partnres that loved him this much, he’ll never know. Clyde gesture to the living room where Allison’s and Tom’s gifts lay in wait. For his darling angel, Clyde bought her a beautiful evening gown with a matching sword and dagger. Hell the dagger even hides perfectly under Allison’s skirt. For Tom... A new work bench?? Now wasn’t thata little much for a Valentine’s day gift!? Well, not really considering the one Tom’s currently using is a health hazard, a new one can’t hurt.

“Hope you like the dress mom! Father showed me the dagger and sword he bought for you, so I designed it around those. You’ll be the talk of the town in it~”

“And Papa gave me the blueprints for your new work desk, daddy~!! Happy Valentine’s day!”

#Broken halo: Allison Angel #Fiery heart and a fearless soul: Thomas Conner #The other ink demon: Claudius Clyde The Singing Siren #The little hellhound sent from above: Winnifred Hellhound #We found love in a hopeless place: Clyde x Thomas x Allison #toonytales #V: Main #;;answered asks

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tospititontheon · 4 years

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@silvcrreaper || SC

✮

They did always warn to never harm an Albatross. There’s only so much time below the full moon and trouble brews tonight. The blood of the bird stains the deck deep red beneath her feet as her body gathers together from the sea’s mist. White eyes reflect like mirrors, shining the truth behind another’s. Fresh blood still seeping down from the deep slash within her clothes. A heavy beat of silence as she kneels, fingers grazing the stain within the deck.

She stands as a lone warning, as a soul cut from her path. A Goddess of the tides lifts her weary head. There seems none awake, not so much as a soul to be seen above deck. Coagulated blood drips to the deck as she wanders, a soft wail her only warning to her presence upon the ship. Skirts pool around her as she sinks to sit upon the deck, hands trembling as she leans against the foremast. Her own ichor beginning to mix with sea water as tides begin to worsen. A harsh gasp of a chilled body beginning to gain warmth coming from her chest as she pulls in a breath. The stain upon the front of her dress spreading as mirror like eyes cloud with tears.

A sniffle leaves her chest as she stands once again, turning on her heels. Silent foot falls carry her towards the ship’s wheel, body turning to fog and becoming solid once again as she passes shadows. She quells her resentment, keeping no hatred within her heart as she takes the steps to the upper deck. But holding no hatred does not mean carrying no anger. Thin fingers wrap around the handles of the wheel. For something that meets so much resistance, it turns easily within her hands, thrown into a harsh spin to the right by the angered deity.

#my brain is so smooth writing this #✮|| Take my hand ||✮ Ic; Yuko #✮|| We found love in a hopeless place ||✮ Default v; Yuko #silvcrreaper

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sxtanshepherd · 3 years

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Overwhelming Oversights

@teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

As it turned out, being chief took more time than Addison had ever anticipated. It didn't matter that she'd told the board they'd have to respect her life as a world class surgeon on top of chief duties, plus a pregnant wife. Even when she scheduled construction, painting, upgrades to ORs, even when everyone knew what they were doing and when, something always ended up pulling her away from patients, from surgery, from Teddy. The days she got excited at hearing her pager were long gone and they never called her at appropriate times. Addison was exhausted.

She missed the nights at home with Teddy, but every time she felt like she was losing it, the board would mention cutting their injured doctors from the staff. Addison couldn't let that happen. She spent days in her office reading emails, overseeing the changes in the hospital, and constantly checking and rechecking the surgical schedules. She'd scheduled OR upgrades in a staggered way so they always had at least six up and running, but delays were messing with the schedule.

This went on for weeks on end and Addison couldn't remember the last time she had operated. She occasionally was able to consult, but getting into the OR was nearly impossible. Every time she got halfway scrubbed in, something pulled her away. Leaving the hospital was becoming even more difficult. There was always more work and more paperwork to get done and every night that she went home, she worked from home so more wouldn't pile up.

Time she spent with Teddy got less and less. Addison felt guilty for it. but she tended to push it to the back of her mind. There weren't enough hours in the day. She always made sure the interns kept an eye on her though, made sure she ate or that something was available for her to eat. Somewhere in her thoughts, she wanted to be with Teddy, but she had to keep the hospital running, and couldn't risk their coworkers, all of the residents in their program. Addison couldn't fail them all.

After a long day of board meetings and dealing with deadlines, Addison walked into the apartment. "Hey, honey, I hope takeout from wherever you want sounds okay, I really don't feel like cooking or waiting for food to cook," she said. She’d dropped her stuff at the door, tempted to give herself one night of not working from home.

#teddyaltmancardiogoddess #v: we found love in a hopeless place #t: overwhelming oversights

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teddyaltman-cardiogoddess · 3 years

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A New Opportunity

Teddy was supposed to be in surgery. She was supposed to be saving someone’s life; but alas, she was once again cooped up in her office with a half eaten pack of saltines beside her on the floor, and her face in the trash can. She was 9 weeks. It has been about 2 to 3 weeks of this shit and she was over it. Nothing stayed down and it was only intensifying. To say she was miserable would be an understatement. Addie and Arizona swore up and down it would get better but it was hard to believe with the constant puking she was doing.

Teddy’s head softly rested back on the cool wall. She wished she had tile floors in her office, that would be helpful...it would be cold. With her eyes closed, her hand patted around until it found her phone. “Siri...” She began, fighting off a gag. “Text Addison.” Her eyes didn’t open once and the sound of siri responding sent a pounding in her head. “Missing another fucking surgery. I know you’re busy this morning with meetings and surgery. I’m okay. I’m just cooped up in my office and don’t see myself making it out of here. I’m fucking over this.I hope you’re having a good day.” She let out a shaky breath and tossed her phone down, instantly placing her hand on her face.

She wasn’t quite sure how long it was that she had been sitting on the floor by her desk, but she didn’t have the energy to care. Her eyes peeked open just enough to see her wife when she heard the door open. “This is not what I signed up for.” Teddy groaned, eyes closing again. “Your child is trying to kill me.” She was being dramatic but she couldn’t remember a time where she felt this sick. “I can’t keep missing surgeries, Addie.” Teddy let out a sigh. “How are you? How’s your day?” She asked, not wanting to focus solely on herself with her complaints. Teddy quickly grabbed the trashcan but set it back down after nothing. It was similar to that uncomfortable feeling when one knows they’re going to sneeze and grab a napkin but nothing comes out.

@sxtanshepherd

#sxtanshepherd #t: A new opportunity #v: we found love in a hopeless place

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inomios · 4 years

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Eight types of love II Levi Ackerman

Summary: “There are eight types of love, and even though his life has been full of pain since the very beginning, he could say he experienced them all.”

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word count: + 5k

Author note: This is the first thing I’ve ever published and I’m really nervous, so I would really appreciate if you reblogged, liked and commented. Also, English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is really appreciated.

. . . .

1. AGAPE or Selfless love

His mother would tell him everyday that she loved him with everything she had, even though it was not a lot. He asked his mother what love was, what meant loving someone. She couldn’t explain it with exact words, she would tell him that love meant caring deeply for someone, even more than for yourself. She loved him and he loved her, that much was true. He asked if he could love more than one person, his mom told him that yes, you could love many people in your life and in different ways. Then, he proceeded to ask if she had ever loved anyone else besides him, she was quiet, like she was thinking the right answer and after a few minutes she said that she had or at least she thought she did, but she had never loved someone as much as she loved him. Love was a confusing thing for him and the more he asked, the more unclear it got.

The only thing he was sure of was that the only thing she loved was her mother. However, curious as he was, he would ask her questions about it all the time.

‘Is love the best thing in the world?’

‘Yes, Levi, it is the only thing that makes life worth it.’

‘Is love always good?’

‘Not always, sometimes it makes you sad.’

‘I don’t wanna be sad. I won’t love anyone else but you.’

‘You can’t choose who you love, sweetie.’

‘Love sucks.’

‘You will get it when you grow up.’

‘I’m already a grown-up.’

He tried to get it, but he couldn’t. He prided himself of being smart, his mom would always tell him that he was really clever and witty for his age. Then, how come he wasn’t able to understand love. It was just a four-letter word: L-O-V-E, it couldn’t have such a deep meaning. ‘Door’ had also four letters and it wasn’t hard to understand and ‘Scandalous’, pretty much the biggest word for him, had ten letters and he knew what it meant, he could even use it in a phrase.

His mom, noticing that he was about to collapse trying to figure out what has love, tried to come up with the best possible definition, one that would please his five-year old son.

‘Love is a selfless thing. Love means giving everything you have, to make the other person happy and content, even though you may not get back all you give. When you love someone, you only what the best for them. It can cause you pain too but loving someone and being loved back is one of the best things we can experience as humans. We may not have a lot, Levi, but we have each other and more important, we love one another and that makes us privileged.’

He understood it then, kind of, so the questions stopped.

However, when his mother’s body laid lifeless in bed, he regretted not making one last question: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

Later, when he was under Kenny’s wing and after Kenny had left him at his own, he soon found an answer: no one would.

2. PHILIA or Affectionate love

After his mother’s death, after Kenny, after everything, he thought that love was out of his reach, something he could never have again. Then Isabel and Farlan happened.

Every single day since his mother died, he would ask himself if he would love again and if someone would love him back. However, at the same time, he wanted to know nothing about love, love brought pain and he had already suffered enough for a lifetime. He sometimes thought that he had an emptiness inside, a big hole where his heart should be, a room so big that no one could ever fill.

After his mom came Kenny, but he was sure he did not love him, at least not like he had loved his mother, and he was sure as hell Kenny did not love him back. Love was supposed to be selfless and caring and Kenny was selfish and did not give a damn about him, he proved him that when he left him alone, again.

Loneliness was a feeling he was already used to but being used to it didn’t mean he liked it. Then again, who would be dumb enough to love him? And he knew better than to love someone who would end up leaving him, like his mother did, like Kenny did.

Well, maybe he did love Kenny, but loving him was painful. While loving his mother was sweet, freeing and it brought him solace and comfort; loving Kenny was toxic and tough, when he thought about it, it troubled him. He gave him a home and he taught him how to survive in the Underground, he didn’t know why, but he raised him, and Kenny never did something freely, he was sure something was missing there, but he didn’t know what. It was stupid of him to think that he cared about him, but a little white lie never hurt anyone. Loving Kenny, seeing him as the paternal figure he never had, filled him with turmoil and changed the way he perceived love.

Love was weakness, it could bring you to your knees, he had learned that. It was pointless, why would you commit to something that would inevitably bring you sorrow? He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, he knew better, the only person who would stay with him was himself and that wasn’t about to change.

Then Isabel and Farlan walked into his life. Well, Farlan walked, Isabel stumbled.

They became family. He knew better but he couldn’t help it. They were thick as thieves, literally. Suddenly, they became the family he yearned for since his mother died. He loved them with everything he had. Loving them was selfless as his mother said, he wanted the best for them, he wanted to see them happy, no matter the price. However, it was a different kind of love, it was pure affection. It wasn’t the adoration he had for his mother, nor the rage he felt for Kenny. It was tender and sweet, he never had a brother or a close friend to care about while growing up, but he thought it was supposed to feel like that, it had to be like that. It had to be another type of love. His mother told him that love was never the same, it had different shapes and, for him, at that moment love had Isabel and Farlan’s shape.

Sadly, nothing good lasts forever, at least not for him. Love causes pain and brings you to your knees, he shouldn’t have forgotten that. When he saw Isabel’s head laying on the floor surrounded by a puddle of her own blood, mouth agape, eyes wide open and pale face, he fell to his knees. He saw a supercut of him, Isabel and Farlan, all the good times, all the laughs they shared and all the stories they still had to write but they would never be able to do because they weren’t there, not anymore, they were gone like his mother, like Kenny. He was alone again.

Love always brought him to his knees and he would never forget it again. He wasn’t made for love; the same way love wasn’t made for him.

3. LUDUS or Playful love

Meeting you happened out of pure coincidence, being in the right place at the wrong time.

He had come from a long mission and he was completely and utterly fine, seriously, but Hange loved to make a big deal out of everything. Well, maybe he had an injury, but a minor one, nothing that he couldn’t take care of himself. He spent years in the Underground, he didn’t need a doctor, he could stitch himself up and place his bones back in place. However, Hange didn’t think the same and was nagging him about getting his injuries checked, so there he was, in one of the infirmary’s bed, waiting for the head doctor.

It wasn’t that he was scared of doctors or “hospitals”, he just didn’t like the idea of some stranger touching him or feeling hopeless and powerless, he didn’t like feeling like he needed help or advice, he could do it pretty much on his own. But Hange didn’t really trust his medical abilities and he knew that arguing with her was pointless.

‘Doctor Brunner couldn’t come since he is busy with some paperwork, so he sent me. I’m his trainee y/n y/ln.’

‘I’m not letting some failed attempt of medic treat my wounds.’

It wasn’t what people would call a ‘meet cute’ moment, it was more like a ‘meet jerk’. He wasn’t the best dealing with people, nor that he wanted to be, he preferred it that way. If you had been any other person, you wouldn’t have bitten back, but you had a sharp tongue and weren’t scared of him. That was probably what drew him in, he was so used to people recoiling in fear when they saw him that having someone that actually fought back was quite alluring.

‘Well, this failed attempt of a doctor knows more than you ever will, so act your age, stop being a bitch and let me tend your injuries.’

‘You have some nerve talking to me like that.’

‘You have some nerve coming to my workplace to insult me.’

During that first encounter none of you said much to each other. He wasn’t fond on talking and you didn’t like his attitude, so you didn’t try to strike a conversation. He had to admit that you were good at you job, you tended him with care and you knew what you were doing, not that he would tell you, at least not yet.

‘Well, not so bad for a failed attempt of a doctor.’

It was the closest thing to a compliment he could say, and it looked like you knew, because he swears that he saw you smile a little.

‘Aren’t you a pleasure to work with? The injury in your arm was pretty nasty and poorly treated, so luckily for you, you will have to drop by more times to check on you. These are my hours, if you want this failed attempt of a doctor to treat you, Captain. I could get used to see your friendly face now and then.’

He didn’t know if the last part was supposed to be interpreted as flirting, but he did come back to visit you, to keep an eye of his injury, obviously. However, if you asked Hange, she would say that you had caught his eye, he still says that at that point in your relationship you annoyed him too much to find himself interested in you.

His weekly visits turned into daily visits, so much for not liking you.

‘I’m starting to think I’ve managed to catch your attention, Captain.’

‘Tch, you’re just less annoying than the rest of the brats.’

‘Oh Captain, you really know how to make me blush.’

He lied. You did catch his attention and you both knew it. It wasn’t love, not at all, it was a gentle curiosity that grew a little bit every day, like a flower blossoming.

‘Tch, you only know to say shit with that mouth of yours.’

‘This mouth of mine knows to do a lot of things, want me show you, Captain?’

‘When you return from the expedition, you have to come to the infirmary to see your wounds and stop playing the hero, it’s bullshit.’

‘I’m starting to think you may have an obsession for doing check-ups on me, brat.’

‘You caught me, I only do them because I can’t keep my hands of you, Captain.’

‘Why do you always call me Captain? It’s annoying, I’m not your superior.’

‘I know, but I like teasing you with it, Captain.’

He cared for you more than he cared for other people in his life, he liked being with you, maybe that was another type of love. Loving his mother was selfless; loving Isabel and Farlan was affectionate; loving you, or whatever the hell he was felling, was playful, flirty and it filled him with joy.

Maybe it wasn’t love, but it was getting there.

4. MANIA or Obsessive love

Your relationship was frustrating everybody, absolutely every single person that knew about you two, everybody knew you had feelings for each other but none of you did something about it, you just kept tiptoeing around each other. It was painful to see. They didn’t know if you were oblivious, stupid, scared or if you were just messing with them, Hange believed the latter one because there was no way you two weren’t together already. The banter, the flirty remarks, the way he looked out for you and the way you took care of him.

‘What’s going on with you and y/n, Shorty?’

‘You tell me, Four-eyes’

‘Tell me the truth, y/n. Are you and Levi dating and just keeping it as a secret? Because I’m losing my mind.’

‘We aren’t dating, Hange.’

To be honest, Levi was losing his mind too. The playful game turned into something more serious, something more obsessive and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and what were you doing while he was busy with paperwork. On missions his mind wandered about your wellbeing and if you were fine. He couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat became erratic whenever you were close to him or the way he would notice every single thing about you. He felt powerless, there was no way to stop it.

He, who always had a plan and knew to do, was helpless under something he could have prevented, or at least something he think he could have avoided. Deep down he knew that he would have fallen for you one way or another, some things are bound to happen, and love is one of them, but he didn’t want to admit that something as mundane as love could outpower him in his own life.

He was aware of how you felt about him, you weren’t scared to be vocal about it and it drove him mad, and by the way his stoic eyes would gleam and glisten while looking at you, you were certain it was mutual. He knew that if he said the word or gave you signal, you’d be his and he’d be yours, but he couldn’t give you what you wanted, and it was a matter of time before you got tired of him. You were young and beautiful, one the most outstanding creatures he had ever seen, you could do better than him and you’d realize soon enough. Life was too short to waste it on him.

‘What are you waiting for, Levi? Do something about it because it’s getting painful to watch.’

‘Get off my fucking case, Four-eyes.’

Everyone was waiting for him to do something, but he couldn’t. In those moments he remembered the question he wasn’t able to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’ His mother loved him, and she died, just like Isabel and Farlan, he couldn’t love you, because he’ll end up losing you, the same way he lost everyone else.

He was loveless.

But you weren’t, and you found someone to do what he couldn’t do, someone to love you like you deserved.

He didn’t know a lot about them. You looked happier and that was all he cared about. He thought that seeing you with another person would calm his heart and his desires, but they only got worse, there was no way of forgetting about you. You were everywhere.

‘C’mon Levi, do something.’

‘Didn’t I tell you to drop it, Hange?’

His visits stopped but you kept waiting for him, hoping he would come to his senses. You didn’t get it, you really didn’t. He had the opportunity, he could have taken the chance to be with you, but he didn’t, so you moved on, or tried to, you didn’t love your partner, but you could see yourself falling in love with them. However, you still missed Levi, not as a potential lover, but as a friend. The way he erased you from his life as you were nothing broke your heart. What did he want from you?

He wanted everything. He wanted all of you and yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He was just frozen in time while you kept moving. He met your partner, they came to visit you once, they were gentle and loving, they looked at you like you were the brightest star in the firmament. They held your hand and kissed your lips. They did all the things he wanted to do. He was jealous, but he didn’t have the right to say something, he had never had the right.

The way he looked at you made you feel guilty, like you were betraying him, and you were so confused and annoyed and angry and mad, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. So, you went to his room that night and stormed in.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

‘I should be asking that, I’m not the one barging in someone else’s room with no previous invitation.’

He had never seen you like that, so mad and full of rage and it was all directed to him and he knew it was his fault.

‘What do you want of me, Levi?’

He wanted everything.

He wanted you.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Could you please stop making me lose my time?’

He saw it in your face, that was the last straw.

‘You’re selfish, an asshole, a prick and a lot of other things. But above it all, you’re a fucking coward, so much for Humanity’s Strongest. For fucks sake, Levi, I loved you, I still do, but I can’t keep waiting for someone who is too scared to do something about it. I want you and you want me too. What’s stopping you?’

He remembered again, the question he never had the chance to ask: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

You loved him and you weren’t scared of it. But he was, and you were about to leave the room. You turned your back on him and it was now or never. He had to choose: would he let you walk away definitely of his life or would he do something?

For once, he didn’t think, he didn’t listen to his head, he listened to his heart. For so long he made himself believe that he didn’t have a heart, but his heart was right there, beating for you.

He kissed you and you kissed him back.

‘Mine.’

‘Yours.’

5. EROS or Passionate love

You both were private people, you didn’t want people talking about your relationship during its first stages, what you had was precious and new and you wanted to protect it from the world a little longer. That’s why no one really knew about the whole ordeal, well, they knew that something had shifted because you could be in the same room without making everyone uncomfortable with your unsolved issues, but they couldn’t pinpoint what had exactly changed, they just guessed that you sorted everything out, finally.

However, Hange did know what changed. She prided herself on knowing Levi, after many years working with him she had learned that Levi only talked through his body language, so she started paying attention to what his body said instead of listening to the words he spewed. Therefore, when she asked him if he was dating you and he said a short no, he knew he was lying. She noticed how he seemed more at ease, how you had broken up with your partner, the way he would gravitate towards you and that when he looked at you, his eyes weren’t filled with longing and remorse, they were shinier and less cold than usual. So, she obviously knew that something was up, but she kept quiet. She may talk way too much, and people could find her annoying, but at the end of the day she was a good friend, and she would respect that neither of you wanted to make things public.

Keeping things private was harder than he originally thought, he was distant and cold to everyone, but he couldn’t be cold and distant with you when you made him burn inside and he could only think about holding you close. It was weird for him, he had spent so many years deprived of touch that he couldn’t imagine himself getting addicted to it, but he was wrong, so wrong.

You knew that Levi was touch starved, you didn’t need to be a genius to notice. When you picked up his body language and started hearing about his childhood, everything came together: his mother died when he was very young, the most paternal figure he had was toxic and abusive to him and since Isabel and Farlan he didn’t let anyone in easily. Levi wasn’t used to someone doting him and you knew that if you started showering him with affection, it would probably scare him off a little, and that was the last thing you wanted. So, you started slowly: holding hands, gentle caresses, kisses in his cheek, hugs, light pecks on the lips and when you saw that he started getting more comfortable, things started scaling on their own, you let him mark the pace. It wasn’t a quick process, but it was worth it.

After a few months, Levi couldn’t keep his hands of you and he surely didn’t want you to keep your hands off him. This was a new kind of love, at first, on the early stages of your relationship it was playful, but then it evolved into something more passionate: quick pecks turned into open mouthed kisses; holding hands innocently turned into holding you close while you came undone under him again and again; kisses now went lower and lower, exploring new parts of you that he hadn’t seen and that no one else would. He didn’t think that touch could mean so much to him, but it did now, and he knew that couldn’t ever go back to a touchless life where you wouldn’t be there to love him.

6. PHILAUTIA or Self-love

He wasn’t neither deaf, blind or stupid. He could hear what people had to say about your relationship, how you deserved better than him; he could see his reflection on the mirror and how he wasn’t beautiful, at least not as much as you, he wasn’t the male that would make people swoon and he knew that you could have any man or female you wanted, but you chose him, out of every other person, you decided to be with him. He was a lucky bastard and you didn’t make good decisions, what a match.

You would look at him like he held the stars in the sky, and you would touch him like he was about to disappear in any moment, as if he were a dream you were afraid to wake up from. He didn’t get why him, he wasn’t the most handsome, nor the nicest, nor the easiest to love, and you still decided to keep him around. He liked to think that he was smart or cleverer than the average, and yet he couldn’t grasp his head around that the fact you loved him and just him, and that was it, it was as simple as that.

Whenever you heard the things people said about your partner, you went feral, because you knew all those comments fueled the self-hate Levi had. Being loveless for so long it obviously affected the perception he had of himself and you wanted to change that, because he deserved it, he deserved all the happiness in this dull world. He liked to play strong, but you saw through him, and even though he never acted upon them, it hurt him. You wished he could see himself through you eyes, because it caused you pain the mere idea of him thinking less of himself, that he wasn’t worthy of your love.

You would tell him every day how much you loved him, as if you were reciting a prayer to your own god.

‘I love you.’

‘You’re beautiful.’

‘I could stare at you for the rest of my life.’

‘I don’t know what I would do without you.’

You would tell him that he needed to love himself, see the good inside of him, he guessed that that was one the types of love he had yet to discover: self-love. He didn’t see himself capable of loving himself nearly the half of how much you loved him.

‘You know one reason why you should love yourself, because you make me the happiest I’ve ever been.’

He didn’t love himself, not yet, but if he was able to make you smile like that, he couldn’t be that unworthy of you.

7. STORGE or Familiar love

He had been avoiding love for as long as he could remember, and then you burst into his life with the force of a typhoon. Love had found him, and he couldn’t get away, you never can, it was a lesson that he had finally accepted.

For so long he saw love as something unnecessary, a burden for the soul. Love ruins you, it stabs you on the back, whenever he let his walls down, love would always take advantage of it and destroy him, bringing him closer to insanity, he had lost himself too many times by loving people and when he met you, he did not want the cycle to repeat itself. He didn’t want more Kuchels, Kennys, Isabels and Farlans, love was merciless, and he wasn’t interested in it, at least that was what he told to himself every day, that he was better off alone. Was all the pain worth it? He thought love came with a high price and he couldn’t afford it. However, things change, life happens, destiny has always something in the store, well, in his case he had someone.

You were his everything, the beacon that brought light in his life, for so long he had been lost, walking amongst shadows, nearly becoming one, and when you appeared you changed the rules of the game, of his game. Every wall he had built around himself came down and you filled every gap his heart was missing. It was the scariest thing he had ever done, letting you in, letting someone in, giving someone else the control of his own heart. You knew the power you held between your hands and you never abused it. You were his solace in this mad world, the oasis in the middle of the desert.

Loving him was not easy, he knew it, he was rude, sharp, too closed off, mean, he was what people liked to call a ‘fucking jerk’ and yet you never gave up on him, on what you had. Instead of leaving when you had the chance, you stayed through thick and thin: through sleepless nights, through his bad moods and grumpiness, through his biting remarks… .You didn’t ran way, you were too stubborn for that, instead you taught him more forms of love.

You were all of the ones he knew and more.

You were selfless, giving him every part of you and loving him with everything you had to offer.

You were his best friend, his companion, the better half of him.

You were playful, joyous, probably the only thing that could make him smile and bring him happiness.

You were consuming, like a fire burning inside of him.

You were passionate, intoxicating.

You were every form of love he had ever experienced, but nothing could have ever prepared him for the kind of love he was experiencing in that moment: the familiar one. The one you feel when you hold your newborn in your trembling hands. It was something he couldn’t describe, there weren’t words for it, he tried to, but he failed every single time.

This was the way his mom loved him, and then he knew how much he had meant for his own mother. While holding little Kuchel on his arms, he remembered all those days and nights on that dirty brothel, all the hours he spent by his mother’s side, how she would do everything to give him the best life and he soon realized there was nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for his daughter. It wasn’t the best of times to have a child, but in that moment, in that precise instant, when Kuchel opened her grey eyes, he was sure of one thing: he would tear everything and everyone down only to see her smile.

A knock on the door. Another one. Two minutes passed and then Hange, followed by Erwin, entered in the room.

‘Tch, Shitty-glasses, who gave you permission to come in?’

‘My authority as a god-mother.’

‘Don’t make me regret it.’

‘She’s beautiful, what’s her name?’

‘Her name is Kuchel.’

Kuchel was his new world, he loved her so much that it was overwhelming, he would never love someone as much as he loved her, and no one would probably love with the same devotion Levi Ackerman loved his daughter.

‘You know, Kuchel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise you that you will have the best life a man like me can give you. I may be a little cold, perhaps a little strict and you will probably get mad at me sometimes, but no matter what happens, I will love you through everything. And by the way, no dating until I’m dead because no brat will be good enough for you. You deserve the world Kuchel and I’ll give you everything it has to offer. Things may get hard, you aren’t born in the best circumstances, but I’ll protect you because you deserve the life I couldn’t live.’

Kuchel’s first word was ‘dadda’.

Kuchel’s first steps were pointed towards his father.

Kuchel’s favorite pastime was being in his father’s arms.

Kuchel could only sleep after his father had kissed her forehead.

And Kuchel would never love someone as much as he loved his father, because she loved him as much as he loved her.

8. PRAGMA or Enduring love

He was old and wrinkly, he was scarred, mutilated and there were days he couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were too real. But he was happy, he was married to the most beautiful and special person he had ever met, he had a loving daughter, a bunch of brats he was proud to call grandchildren and the tea shop he had always dreamed about.

Life hadn’t been fair to him. He had lost so many people he cared about, he had fought a war and he had had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But, after all, after the tortures, the adversities, the deaths… He had people who loved and whom he loved.

Love was worth it. He had finally learned that.

At his seventies he found out about the last kind of love, the enduring, the one that lasts and survives in time. He loved his family above everything, and he would love them long after his bones turn into ashes and no one remembers his name.

Then he recalled that question he never got to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

He looked at the sky and smiled.

‘After all someone was fool enough to love me mom, who would have thought?’

A gentle breeze caressed his skin and a single tear fell from his eye.

‘I guess that’s the way you have of answering the question.’

#levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman imagine #attack on titan #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman oneshot #snk #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin levi #captain levi #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #levi fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin

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adaodinson · 3 years

Text

Smile

I got this idea and needed to write it. This takes place in The Book of Boba Fett, let´s imagine Din goes back to Tatooine and meets with Boba and Fennec and is really bumped after Grogu.

Let´s also imagine our songs exist in the Star Wars universe haha. The songs I will use are E.T. by Katy Perry and Enchanted by Taylor Swift.

E.T: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=18oYGsmUprM

Enchanted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv3um0BlygY

Summary: You´re a singer at a bar in Tatooine. Boba and Fennec are regulars, but one day they arrive with a stranger that looks really sad. You decide to do something to cheer him up.

Warnings: just Din being sad and lots of fluff. And well, E.T by Katy Perry.

Relationship: Din Djarin x gn!reader

You really loved your job. You couldn´t believe how lucky you had been to meet Boba.

After getting out of your home planet to go and see what else was there, you got stuck in Tatooine, lost and alone. You had been wandering for days in the dessert with no hopes of surviving, so you did what you always did when you felt hopeless: you sang. You could barely breath due to the strong and deadly suns, but singing made you feel, just feel, and you really needed that. You sang as loud as you could, not even caring if it sounded good.

In the loneliness of the dessert you felt many bad things you had never felt, but one good side to all of this was that you found yourself in total freedom of just using your voice, no judgement, no comments, no shyness. You had been wanting to be a singer like, all your life, but your voice was never treated as something especial back home. You knew you had a good voice, though.

You don´t know how many hours passed, it was now dark. You were too focused on your strange mixture of self-pity, tiredness, and freedom, you didn´t notice someone else was around.

Boba had found his Bantha, his girl (well, technically she found him). She led him to where her baby Banthas were and he literally cried with happiness. He still couldn’t believe she had found him.

Just as he was heading back, he heard a noise. It was definitely a person, and as he got closer he realized it was someone singing. What the hell is a person doing singing in the middle of the dessert?!

He reached out to this mysterious person: you. The rest is now history. He took you in, helped you, and got you a job as a singer at a bar.

You were the happiest you had been in a very long time. You wanted everyone to feel just as happy as you were. It had now been a couple of weeks since you started working there and you already got along with the other workers and the usual costumers. There were a few hours during the day in which people got to make requests from the songs you had listed, and you were becoming pretty popular.

One day, during the afternoon, you were just about to start a song: E.T., when Boba and Fennec walked in with a very… sad looking man. He was wearing a beskar armour, which would mean he was a Mandalorian, but that couldn´t be since he wasn´t wearing any helmet, and you knew Mandalorians don´t show their faces. Anyways, it was none of your business. You just approached them to say hello.

-Hey! Boba, Fennec, how´s everything going? And hey! Are you new around here?- You asked happily.

-Hi Y/N, we´re doing good, how are you?- Fennec asked. They seemed concerned about the guy that was with them.

-I´m good, thanks- You answered. Boba got up and motioned you to speak with him privately.

-That over there is Mand… Din- Boba said with a bit of hesitation- he´s… going through a few rough things and is not in the best mood. We thought bringing him here would maybe cheer him up-

-Oh, I see- You looked back at the table and he did look miserable. He was quite handsome; it was really sad to see someone that down. He was gazing around, seeming lost. Your heart broke at the view. For a solid moment, his gaze locked on you and you gave him a sympathetic smile. One corner of his mouth moved in what seemed to be an attempt to return the gesture, but he appeared to struggle to do that. You wanted to do something for him, but your turn to sing was coming.

-Listen, we’re probably gonna leave soon, I´m only telling you cause I know you can light up the mood of the place, and maybe not sing sad songs- Boba said. He seemed to be genuinely concerned for his friend.

You nodded in understanding and patted his shoulder. He went back to his table.

E.T. was already yes or yes, but you approached the musicians and told them what song you wanted next.

You started singing, as always, walking around the bar, dancing around with the usuals you already knew and trusted.

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension

You open my eyes

And I'm ready to go

Lead me into the light

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me

Infect me with your lovin'

Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me

Wanna be your victim

Ready for abduction

All the people in the bar were already hipped up, dancing either seated or standing. Many were singing as well and clapping to the beat.

Your gaze went to Din. He was looking at you. Boba and Fennec were awkwardly trying to dance to get the sad blob of a man to smile. It was adorable and hilarious.

Boy, you're an alien

Your touch, so foreign

It's supernatural

Extraterrestrial

This is transcendental

On another level

Boy, you're my lucky star

You continued singing and as you did that, you headed for the bar, got what Boba and Fennec usually had and a glass of Spotchka. Din looked like a Spotchka kinda guy. You wrote “These are on me” on a paper and handed all of it to them. It was really hard to focus on that while still singing, but you had set it to be your goal to make that man smile at least one time. He nodded once. Damn it.

Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien

Your touch, so foreign

It's supernatural

Extraterrestrial

The song ended. You were now mesmerized by this man. He was so beautiful, and you had no idea what was making him so sad, you just wanted him to have a reason to smile, at least once. You didn´t even know why you cared this much. You had never even talked to him, but his eyes, geez he had such gentle eyes. And he was still looking at you. His gaze didn´t seem as sad as it was when he first walked in. You took that as a sign to try one more time. You didn´t want to push it either.

The song you had asked for was now starting. You headed to the center of the bar for this one.

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

You heard gasps at that part of the song and saw playful offended faces from the people at the bar, including Boba´s. You laughed and whispered quickly “Not this place though”. Everyone smiled at that, except for Din.

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

You looked deep into his eyes as you sang this part. He raised his head, as if to put more attention and follow you with his gaze.

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Your eyes were glued to his and vice versa. This song made you so happy, and you expressed that through your smiles. His eyes now looked… thankful.

This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you

As you sang this part, you took small steps to get closer and closer to his table. At this point, Fennec and Boba had huge grins and smiles, knowing exactly what was happening. What they didn´t know was that you meant every word, and if you had to shout that to get Din to smile, you would.

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

You were now in front of their table, not caring about the looks from others. Din didn´t seem to care either as he stared into your eyes. You felt chills running through your entire body. He was so gorgeous and without knowing him, you knew he deserved the world. He was now blushing. WAIT WHAT. HE´S BLUSHING. You could have dropped dead, but you still hadn´t gotten him to smile, so no.

As you were about to sing the last two phrases of the song, you reached out and asked for silent permission to hold his face. He nodded. You placed your hand on his cheek, feeling heat entering you at the touch of his skin and then crawling through you entire body. You saw a small tear race down his face, and your finger caught it.

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

As you finished, you couldn´t take your eyes off of him. And that´s when it happened. The most dashing and beautiful thing you have ever seen and would ever see. He smiled. HE SMILED. You jumped and giggled in triumph, Boba and Fennec were in between confused (cause what the hell was happening to Din, they never imagined to see him like that) and so happy. Din giggled and looked down.

Your shift had now ended. Boba, Fennec and Din had stayed until then. They were standing up to leave.

Nothing could have prepared any of you for what was about to happen. You headed for them, to say goodbye.

-Thank you for coming by, I hope you all enjoyed the show cause it was for you- You said while looking at Din, hoping he would understand you actually meant it. You were shaking with nervousness.

-We really did- Boba said.

Just as they were about to leave, you heard it.

-Y/N- It was Din. He walked towards you. Just as you were about burst, he… hugged you. It was the most amazing hug anyone had ever given you. You felt all his effort into it, and by Boba and Fennec´s reaction you assumed Din wasn´t usually like this.

You immediately returned the hug and heard him mutter “Thank you”.

Oh you were gonna solve whatever it was that was making that man so sad. You promised yourself that, (as much as you wanted to be with him) even if you didn´t end up together you would make sure Din was happy. Whatever it took. Yes, whatever it took.

#din djarin imagine #din djarin #din djarin fluff #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfic #mandalorian #book of boba fett #the book of boba fett #boba fett #fennec shand #the mandalorian #star wars #star wars x reader

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jared-19-cant-reid · 4 years

Text

Sunday Kind of Love

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Rating: M

Summary: You need a date to your sister’s wedding, and Spencer begrudgingly agrees to help you out. Your feelings for him become difficult to hide, and Spencer really commits to his role as your “boyfriend”.

Word Count: 5.3K

Content Warnings: Family conflict, minor angst, unprotected sex, Dom!Spencer/Sub!Reader, bondage, daddy kink, spitting, choking, breath play, exhibitionism/public sex, teensy bit of sacrilege

Author’s Note: This fic idea came to me while I was listening to “A Sunday Kind of Love” by Etta James, so I’d highly recommend listening to it if you read the fic. Gives you the ~vibe~. Anyway, this is way longer than I expected but Spencer and reader deserved the extra time! I hope u enjoy :)

“C’mon, just make an appearance with me!” You pleaded. “It’s just one night! How bad can it be?” I didn’t even believe the words as they came out of my mouth.

Morgan snorted at that, shaking his head as he moved to exit the bullpen. “Sorry, kid. I love you, but I am not spending my night off at your bitchy sister’s wedding.”

You sighed, reluctantly stepping aside to allow him to leave. Beginning to lose hope, you turned to your only remaining coworker. Spencer was still sitting at his desk, busying himself with organizing drawers and repositioning folders to avoid meeting your gaze as you approached his desk.

“Spencer, please come with me tonight. I can’t deal with my sister alone, and I think I might die if I have to explain to her that the guy I told her I was bringing ghosted me last week.” As you spoke, you watched him try to think of a way to protect your feelings without going. In the year you’d worked at the BAU you’d come to see everyone on the team as family, but it was Reid you felt closest to. When he didn’t respond immediately, you put your hand on his shoulder. “Spence, I need you.” You spoke quietly, but he heard you clearly.

He looked up at you at your last words, visibly conflicted. You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, and he sighed, standing up. Knowing you had won, you threw your arms around his neck in a hug, nearly sending the two of you tumbling over in your enthusiasm. He tentatively wrapped his arms around you, returning the gesture of affection.

His touch brought with it feelings of peace and happiness that you had come to associate with Spencer. Your smile grew impossibly wider as you thanked him a million and one times, squeezing him tightly as you felt relief spread through your body. Forcing yourself to pull away, you noticed his lips had quirked up into a small smile at your reaction.

“You know, almost twenty percent of weddings are called off. There’s still a chance it won’t even happen.” Spencer mumbled as you walked out together. You weren’t sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself. As you reached the garage, you thanked him again for agreeing to be your date. He just nodded, visibly nervous about the event.

You stopped him before he could start walking to the metro. “Let me drive you home,” you insisted, “it’ll be faster and we can talk over our game plan on the way!”

“Game plan?” He questioned, amused at your choice of words.

“Just pretend we’re going undercover on a case! We’ll get into character and everything. This can be fun if we make it fun.” Spencer seemed unconvinced, but he followed you to your car.

As you drove to his place, Spencer seemed to relax as he started to plan, happy to gain some control over the situation. You knew he hated big events, especially ones with a lot of strangers, but your deep dislike for most of your sister’s invite list meant you’d at least suffer together. Pulling up to the curb, you said a quick goodbye, telling him to be ready in an hour.

When you got home, you jumped through the shower, scrubbing off the stress of the work day to allow family-related stress to take its place. You quickly blew your hair dry, putting more effort into your hair and makeup than you usually did. As you reached your closet, you scanned your dresses for one that would match the maroon tie Spencer planned on wearing. A smile spread across your lips when you spotted it, your fingers toying with the soft fabric as you imagined Spencer’s reaction when he saw it.

You tried to push the thought away, sighing at your own hopelessness. You’d been trying to bury your feelings for Spencer ever since you joined the BAU, but it was a losing battle. You found it impossible to ignore him, despite your efforts to remain neutral in his presence. Your heart swelled at the excitement shining in his soft hazel eyes, skipped a beat at the sight of his tongue resting between his lips in concentration, and stopped altogether at the way his hands moved and flexed when he spoke. The opportunity to spend this much one-on-one time with Spencer in what you were sure would be an incredibly flattering suit was almost worth the stress of dealing with your family.

You slipped on the soft satin dress, admiring how it hugged your curves and flowed around your legs. The plunging v-neck was flattering, but tasteful enough to stave off disapproving looks from older guests, leaving you comfortable and confident. You stood in front of the mirror, taking in your appearance as you would a stranger’s. The face that looked back at you was friendly but tense, hands fiddling restlessly with the soft fabric of your dress. It didn’t take a profiler to see you needed to relax.

Taking a deep breath, you cleared your mind, taking a few minutes to give your mind rest and ground yourself. Opening your eyes again, your reflection looked much more peaceful, nodding as you decided you were ready to leave. As you drove to Spencer’s, you felt your heartbeat quickening, this time from excitement instead of stress.

Knocking softly, you were surprised to hear Spencer’s footsteps already nearing you, as if he had been waiting by the door. As he stepped outside, your breath hitched. You shouldn’t be so affected by the sight of him, it’s not like he’d never worn a suit in front of you before. It was mostly the look on his face that struck you, his lips slightly parted and eyes scanning your body as he took in the sight of you.

“So what do you think? Good enough to pass for a put-together adult who hasn’t been dreading this day for months?” You asked.

He took a second to respond. “Y-yeah, you… you definitely shouldn’t worry about it. I mean you look great- not that you don’t usually look great it’s just-”

You interrupted him for his own sake, giggling a soft “thank you, Spence. You don’t look half bad yourself.” Understatement of the century.

Soft music played through the speakers in your car, soothing your nerves as you hummed along to “A Sunday Kind of Love” quietly. You almost jumped when you heard Spencer begin to hum with you.

“You know this song?! I didn’t know you listened to any non-classical music!” You exclaimed, unreasonably excited at your discovery.

“I’ve heard you listening to Etta James on the jet a couple times, so I checked out a couple of her songs,” Spencer said simply. You tried to pretend your heart hadn’t just exploded at the implications behind his words. You couldn’t trust your voice to mask your overflowing adoration for the man beside you, so you just smiled and began to sing along quietly.

Oh I'm hoping to discover

A certain kind of lover

Who will show me the way

Lost in the music, you were surprised for the second time that car ride by Spencer’s voice joining yours to sing the chorus. Your eyes shot to his face, but he kept his eyes forward, a small smile the only sign he’d seen your reaction. You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face as you sang with him, his attempts at melody bringing a smile to your face. The words seemed to gain meaning as your voices joined together, both looking forward but focused fully on each other.

To keep me warm when Mondays and Tuesdays grow cold

Love for all my life to have and to hold

Oh and I want a Sunday kind of love

Before you knew it, you had arrived. It was as if the bubble that had protected you from the reality of the situation had popped, leaving you exposed to the harsh world that lay waiting for you. Spencer reached out and squeezed your hand, silently reassuring you of his presence, his support, unwavering as you faced the night together.

Nodding slightly, you let go of his hand and stepped out of the car. Spencer walked beside you to the entrance of the church, close enough that you could feel his body heat. As you got closer, you groaned internally at the sight of your mother.

A fake smile stretched across her lips, nodding at a woman whose outfit was so brightly colored you nearly had to look away from the glare. Her smile dropped for a split second when she saw you, but quickly returned with twice the artificial sweetness as before. She called out your name, voice straining with the effort it took to sound happy to see you.

“This can’t be the boy you’ve been seeing! Much more handsome than I expected, how much did he cost you? Just kidding, of course.” Her laugh was somehow faker than her smile. You saw Spencer tense up beside you, and opened your mouth to correct her. She wouldn’t openly admit it, but you were sure your mother would be smug about the fact you and Spencer were just friends.

Before you could say anything, Spencer’s next words sent you reeling.

“Actually, I’m her boyfriend. Glad to finally meet you.” He said as politely as he could, though you could tell he disliked her already. Spencer had never had much patience for people who made jokes at others’ expense.

You were still processing what he’d just said when his arm wrapped around you, gripping your waist. The feeling of his hands on your body was almost too much for you, and you struggled to pay attention as your mother smiled and made smalltalk with Spencer that walked the line between passive aggressiveness and outright hostility.

You finally registered what was happening when your mother made some excuse to leave, off to emotionally torture a new victim. Your head whipped to face Spencer, your mouth hanging open, confusion written on your face.

“Why did you-” you began, interrupted by Spencer’s panicked words laced with regret.

“I’m so sorry, I know we didn’t plan on pretending to be a couple tonight, but she just seemed so smug about it and I wasn’t thinking clearly and I just-” he rushed out. Now it was your turn to cut him off.

“Spencer, thank you. I’m not mad, I promise.” You leaned into his chest, the arm still wrapped around you tightening. “I guess we’ll just have to pretend we’re dating for the rest of tonight, though.”

The two of you slowly made your way into the church, stopping a few times to chat with relatives who called out to you. Everyone was charmed by Spencer, who played the part of your boyfriend remarkably well. You found seats on the right, farthest from the aisle in an attempt to limit your interaction with other guests. Sitting down, you remembered how uncomfortable church pews were, the hours you’d spent in mass with your family all coming back to you now.

Looking around, however, you were reminded of what had gotten you through it. The stained glass windows that surrounded you created a kaleidoscope in your field of vision, capturing your attention for long enough to forget why you had been uncomfortable in the first place. You looked back at Spencer to find him already looking at you, sending a small blush to your cheeks.

“Did you know that stained glass was originally used in Catholic churches to tell stories from the Bible visually for the benefit of illiterate churchgoers? During the English Reformation, many stained glass windows were smashed and destroyed as part of the 1547 Injunctions against images. In fact, all images in churches were ordered to be removed. If it weren’t for that period in history, more stained glass would likely have- sorry, I’m doing it again.” Spencer’s eyes were cast down at the floor, only to shoot back up to your face when he felt your hand on his.

“I like listening to you. Why did they want to destroy all the images in churches?” You asked, leaving Spencer speechless for a second, seemingly unable to process your request for him to continue his rambling. With a small smile, he continued to explain the importance of the English Reformation to religious art as you watched him adoringly.

The ceremony started all too soon, pulling your attention to the front of the church. As you and Spencer listened to the seemingly endless stream of anecdotes about love and life that the pastor had clearly spent years reciting, your eyes started to glaze over. You pushed thoughts about marriage and family and religion out of your mind, preferring emptiness. Your mind didn’t stay blank for long, though.

Apparently Spencer had noticed your change in mood, because he brought his hand to rest on your thigh in a comforting gesture of solidarity. Unfortunately, you were unable to respond in any way, overwhelmed by the feeling of his hand flattened against the satin fabric of your dress. His thumb beginning to rub small circles into your skin, you felt your heart rate quicken. The warmth he brought to your thigh began to spread through your body, suddenly finding the church unbearably hot.

Spencer seemed unaffected by the room’s sudden warming, keeping his gaze locked on the happy couple. You took a shaky breath and tried to calm yourself down, reminding yourself that you were overreacting to what was likely a completely platonic display of affection. The ceremony seemed to drag on for hours, but that might have had something to do with the constant effort it took to mask the desire and panic that Spencer’s touch had ignited in you.

You were broken from your trance of concentration by the feeling of his hand inching higher on your leg. Whipping your head around to face him, his gaze remained fixed on the pastor, pressing his lips together to hide a smirk. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt Spencer’s hand slowly make its way up your thigh, paralyzed by shock and desperation. His grip tightened as he glanced at your face, reading your reaction to his touch. Before you had a chance to respond, it was withdrawn, the world around you coming back into focus as everyone began to clap. The ceremony was over.

When you went to stand up after the recessional, you nearly stumbled on your weak legs. Spencer stabilized you, guiding you through the pews and through the hallways with his hand on your lower back. As you followed the crowd to the banquet hall, the gears in your mind were turning slower than usual, as if they had rusted in the time you hadn’t allowed them to work through the idea of Spencer returning your feelings. Finding your seats, you and Spencer were faced with one of the greatest challenges of your night: extended conversation with your family and their similarly judgemental friends.

The overlapping chatter of so many people at once was clearly bothering Spencer, but he stuck it out for your sake. You felt a tug in your chest at the thought of the effort it must be taking for him to stay in such an uncomfortable situation. He played his part beautifully, though, responding to the borderline offensive questions directed at you politely but firmly, protecting you from their attacks. Your sister would usually have led the onslaught, but thankfully she was preoccupied yelling at the photographer for some suggestion she’d taken as a personal slight.

When Spencer struggled to answer questions about your “relationship”, you took over. He had never been a good liar, and while you loved that about him, you knew it could blow your cover if you allowed him to continue.

In your story, the two of you still worked at the BAU, having started dating a few months after you joined. You threw in small details from your countless daydreams, centering them around real events so that the tale was completely believable. Maybe too believable, you worried, feeling Spencer’s eyes on you as you talked. Under the protection of a lie, you had finally been free to speak the truth, pouring a year’s worth of pining and affection into your words as you concocted a love story you wished was real.

You heard a band start to play, a bluesy vocalist at the center of the ensemble. The music filled the hall as the newlyweds rose for their first dance. A small crowd gathered around the pair as they moved in synchrony, every step practiced and planned. A few songs later, many couples were swaying together, tonight’s celebration of love bringing out the romantic in most.

You turned to Spencer, nodding your head at the band. “We should probably dance for a song or two, just for appearance’s sake.” Spencer looked uncomfortable, but nodded and followed you closer to the source of the music.

Raising your hand to his shoulder while his landed on your hip, you felt a warmth spread through you as you joined hands. Fingers intertwining, you began to move along with the slow song that had been playing, stumbling at first but moving more smoothly as time went on. You had no idea how many songs passed while the two of you swayed, apprehension and desire swirling in the air between you. It took a second for you to notice it, but as soon as you did, Spencer’s small smile told you he had as well.

The smooth vocals of the singer sounded even more lovely on Etta James’s familiar melody, filling you with an intense emotion you couldn’t put words to.

I want a Sunday kind of love

A love to last past Saturday night

And I'd like to know it's more than love at first sight

And I want a Sunday kind of love

The feeling in your chest grew as you looked into Spencer’s eyes as the song continued, your chest threatening to burst with whatever magical dust you’d inhaled from the shared breath between your faces. Wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder, you were overcome with a feeling of safety and contentment as he returned your embrace. You swayed together as you began to ponder the cliches you’d always despised, begrudgingly admitting that you now understood the sentiment that nothing in the world mattered but the two of you.

As the song ended, you gathered up all the courage you had, and spoke before your mind could think through the possible negative outcomes of what you were suggesting.

“I need to tell you something,” you started. You felt his grip on you tighten, as if afraid what you would say next would take him from you, but he let you continue. “I think I love you, Spencer.”

He didn’t respond, but you felt him pull away from you. You felt cold without the contact, but it was nothing compared to the loss you felt in your chest as you realized what you’d done. He didn’t feel the same way.

You opened your mouth to apologize, to try to undo the damage you’d done, but before you could say anything he was dragging you toward a hallway. Overcome with confusion and fear of losing him, you didn’t realize where you were going until Spencer opened the door to the single-use bathroom and pulled you inside.

“Spence-” you began, the rest of whatever you had been about to say swallowed by Spencer’s lips as they moved against yours with urgency, his hands coming to cup your face gently. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, the coldness you’d felt replaced by the warmest light filling your chest.

Your hands found his hair, pulling him closer to you as you tried to eliminate any space left between your bodies. A frantic mess of hands and lips exploring any exposed skin, you stumbled backwards with the force of Spencer’s kiss, hearing the door lock as your back hit the cold wood. Your hands slipped under his suit jacket, moaning at the feeling of his firm body under your hands. He shrugged it off completely, allowing the jacket to fall on the floor, his germophobia trumped by his need to feel your warmth.

You moaned into his mouth as his hands wandered your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake. As the kiss became more heated, you noticed that he seemed to withdraw whenever he noticed his touch had gotten rougher, clearly holding back so he wouldn’t hurt you. You smiled into the kiss at the care he showed for you, but your desire to see him fully let go was too strong to allow it to continue. You weren’t sure exactly what he was willing to do, but you took your second biggest risk of the night, showing him what you wanted.

Finding his hand on your body, you laced your fingers between his, kissing him sweetly before pulling away with an innocent look on your face. Spencer stared down at you, confusion clear on his face. You brought his hand up to your mouth, kissing the back of it before moving your hand to his wrist. He watched you intently, unsure what you were doing. Staring up at him with an angelic smile, you brought his hand to your neck, his fingers curling around it instinctively.

As he realized what you were asking of him, his eyes darkened and his grip around your neck tightened. “This is what you wanted, huh?” He spoke lowly, a small smirk forming on his lips. “So needy for me. Would’ve let me fuck you in front of all those people back there, practically shaking just from my hand on your thigh.”

You whimpered, turned on beyond belief by this new side of Spencer. His smirk widened at your reaction to his words, pressing his body against yours, his hardness pressing into you.

“Feel that? Feel what you do to me?” He growled. “Let me show you how I deal with pretty little whores like you.” He stepped away from you, eyes hungrily raking over your body as he began to unbuckle his belt. You just stood there, watching his hands as your mind flashed back to all the times you’d imagined this happening. Somehow this was even better than your wildest imagination had been able to conjure.

“What are you waiting for? Get on your knees” He spat out. The words shot straight to your core, and without hesitation you dropped to your knees in front of him. You watched as he pulled the belt from its loops, but frowned in confusion when he didn’t discard it. He walked around behind you, grabbing each of your wrists and pulling them together. Oh. When he was sure the belt wasn’t too tight, he whispered in your ear how pretty you looked tied up for him, your whimper at the words causing him to let out a dark chuckle.

He returned to the front of you, leaning down to toy with your bottom lip. “Show me you deserve to suck my cock, princess.” He instructed, slipping his thumb into your mouth. You moaned around his finger at that, and instinctively began sucking on the digit. You hollowed your cheeks around it, running your tongue along the length of his thumb before pulling back to swirl your tongue around the tip. He must have approved of your demonstration, because he removed his thumb, pulling down the clothing restricting him in one motion.

Your eyes widened at his size, his smirk growing when you leaned forward instinctively to take him into your mouth. When he grabbed your hair to stop you, you looked up at him in confusion.

“Good girls ask for permission.” Your eyes fluttered shut at that, wanting nothing more than to be good for him.

“Please, let me suck you off, I want you in my mouth,” you begged. He seemed pleased, his hand still in your hair pulling you forward. When your lips wrapped around his cock the hand on your head pushed you down roughly, making you take all of him into your mouth, the tip pressing hard against the back of your throat. You moaned through the gag, your panties likely soaked by now from your arousal at his dominance.

As he began to fuck your throat, you wrapped your lips around him tightly, timing your breaths so you wouldn’t have to stop for air. Words of praise mixed with degradation fell from his lips as he worked your mouth on him. Tears pricked at your eyes at the feeling of him against your throat, spilling over as he continued his ruthless pace.

When he pulled you off of him, a dark smile appeared on Spencer’s face at your disheveled state. He pulled you up so you were standing before him, hands still bound behind your back. He stepped back to admire you.

“Look at you, such a mess for me. What do you want, pretty girl?” He asked, voice still commanding but much softer now, genuinely checking in with you.

“I want you, please, need it so bad,” you practically moaned. He moved forward to meet your mouth with his, one hand coming to rest around your throat while the other gripped your hair, fully in control of your movements. He pulled your hair back, breaking the kiss as he tilted your head up to look him in the eyes.

“Jump.” He commanded. You didn’t hesitate, wrapping your legs around him as he walked you over to the sink, setting you down on the cold porcelain. His mouth rejoined with yours the second you felt the bowl of the sink digging into you. As Spencer’s hands roamed your body, he lost patience with your dress, pulling it down so your tits spilled out of the top. You moaned as he took one nipple into his mouth, a skilled hand toying with the other. His other hand lowered to the hem of your dress, pushing it up to gain full access to you.

Spencer moaned against your chest as he felt the dampness of your panties, soaked all the way through before he had even started to pleasure you. His fingers ran up and down over the wet fabric, applying pressure over your clit that sent your eyes rolling back. You made a noise of complaint at the loss of contact when he withdrew his hand, but were quickly silenced by a hand over your mouth.

“You’ll take what I give you, slut.” Spencer gritted out, tearing your panties off with the last word. His hand came up to your entrance, teasing you as his fingers ran up and down your slit. Gathering your wetness, he moved up to your clit, rubbing circles that left you moaning uncontrollably into his hand. “Can you snap for me, baby?” He asked. You were confused, but you did anyway. “Good girl. That’s your safeword for when you can’t talk.”

Before you could read too much into the statement, he plunged a finger deep into you, causing you to arch your back into him. Your moans still muffled by his hand, he set a brutal pace, adding another finger when he felt you start to clench around him. Tightening his hand over your mouth and nose, he cut off your breath as you approached your peak, your eyes glazing over with pleasure. The high of the lack of oxygen along with the haze that came with this level of submission left you fully pliant, his to play with how he wanted.

Right as your lungs began to burn, your orgasm shook your body, and Spencer let go at that exact moment. The relief of oxygen once again flooding your lungs added on to the euphoria that overtook you, your body shaking as you came down from your high.

You didn’t have much time to recover, as you were brought back to reality with the sensation of the tip of Spencer’s cock teasing your slit. The overstimulation shook you, but with every second your need to feel him inside of you grew stronger. Your whimpers turned into pleas, and in your desperate state you didn’t realize what you were saying until it was too late.

“What was that?” Spencer asked, withdrawing completely.

“I-I’m sorry, it was an accident, I didn’t mean to, I’ll never-” you were interrupted by an unexpected demand.

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“Say. It. Again.” Spencer gritted out, his eyes darkening with each word.

“Please fuck me, daddy.” You said shakily.

A look of satisfaction came over Spencer’s face as he slammed into you without warning, setting a rough pace. You began to chant his new title, and his hand came up to choke you, fingers pressing into your carotid arteries just beneath your jaw. He wasn’t putting any pressure on your windpipe, but your lightheadedness from the reduced blood flow made it feel harder to breathe, the feeling of being owned by the man you loved only intensifying your pleasure.

Spencer towered over you as he continued his assault, his other hand coming up to muffle your moans by allowing you to suck on his fingers. When he withdrew them to pay attention to your body elsewhere, he was confused to see you stick out your tongue. When the wave of understanding washed over him, he couldn’t hold back his smile. Bringing his hand up to trace your cheek, he looked at you lovingly before spitting in your mouth, watching in awe as you eagerly swallowed and met him with an innocent smile that contrasted beautifully with your actions.

As you began to feel the knot in your stomach building again, Spencer increased his pace. Bringing one of his fingers to your clit, Spencer knew you were nearing the edge, and fast. “Come for me, pretty girl.” He ordered.

You obliged, Spencer’s kiss swallowing the moans spilling from your mouth. He followed soon after, sent into ecstasy by the image and sensation of you coming apart under him. As he filled you up, you felt a bliss that you’d never experienced before, using your lips to show him how he’d affected you as he fucked you through both of your orgasms. When you eventually parted, it was quiet for a moment.

As Spencer helped you off the sink and removed the belt from your wrists, massaging the tender skin, you began to laugh. It started out as a small giggle, but it soon turned into a full belly laugh, bringing tears to your eyes. Spencer was taken aback at first, but son couldn’t help but join you. You both laughed until your stomachs hurt, and when you could finally speak again your first words were “we just had sex in a church bathroom.”

Holding back another bout of laughter, Spencer responded, “I have to say, this wasn’t how I imagined tonight going.” He took a step towards you, arms lacing around your waist. “I’m not complaining, though.”

You pulled him down to meet him in a kiss, your teeth clacking as neither of you could hold back your smiles. When you broke apart, Spencer’s forehead stayed pressed against yours. “I love you,” he said quietly, “I have for a long time now. I just never thought you would feel the same way.”

You couldn’t hold back the happy tears that formed in the corners of your eyes. Wordlessly, you pulled him into a hug, your bodies coming together like two pieces of a puzzle that had finally been connected. You stayed there for a while, just feeling each other breathe.

In a few minutes, you’d sneak out the back door of the church. In a few minutes, you’d leave the room with no need for lies to excuse your shared affection. In a few minutes, you’d have to deal with the paperwork that Hotch would inevitably require. But for these last few minutes, all you had to do was hold each other. For now, you were just two people in love, and that was enough.

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