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#verbal communication
perplexingluciddreams · 11 months
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A “brief” overview of my communication journey:
My verbal communication was always limited to echolalia and scripts (by scripts, I mean pieces of different echolalia that I stuck together to create a new phrase, or longer several-sentence delayed echolalia. But I didn’t learn to do this until I was at least 9 years old). I also had very limited control over what my mouth said - I would regularly hear my mouth say something I completely disagreed with, then had to watch in panic and confusion as the people around me reacted as if it was something I actually thought.
I used to request things that I didn't even want. "I want..." statements were banned in my house because they were "rude". “I want never gets!” I had stuck as a script for the longest time, even involuntarily saying it when other children said an “I want…” phrase.
I was given examples of how to request things by my parents. I used "I would like...", "Can I have... please", etc. But this didn't give me a reliable way to ask for what I wanted - I could only ask for things I had a script for. So I was limited to a handful of foods and objects that as I grew older, I had less and less interest in.
Saying "please" and "thank you" was drilled into me so much that I would often say it at the end of other unrelated scripts because it got "stuck" there by my mouth, without my permission. I got laughed at for this a lot.
I would say "yes" when I meant no, I couldn't reject things because I didn't have a script for saying "no". And I had been told to be polite so many times that it was a concrete rule in my mind - breaking a rule was worse than anything else. Saying "no" was rude, according to the adults around me - if another child said "no" to something, they were told off by a teacher or their parent. I didn't understand tone of voice so I thought it was the thing they were saying that was wrong.
As I got older, and became more aware that other people seemed to have more control over their voices and could say what they wanted (my general awareness of people and my surroundings definitely played into my struggles with communication, but I won’t elaborate on that here) I would sometimes sit in my bedroom and attempt to read aloud from a book, or write a sentence and read it aloud. To my confusion and upset, it would come out garbled with sounds mixed up, words missing, sometimes no sound coming out of my mouth at all. I couldn't make intelligible speech with my own words AT ALL.
I managed to teach myself to manually make some sounds, mostly vowel sounds, by moving my tongue around whilst making sounds with my vocal cords. But clearly this was not enough for using spontaneous speech as communication. Not to mention, any time I even considered trying to get my OWN words out (with speech, writing - even drawing pictures, signs), all words and scripts I knew just disappeared from my mind.
The only time I could even slightly get my emotions out was through movement - I used to throw myself backwards onto my bed repeatedly, bang my head with my hand, pull my hair, spin around in circles. I now know these would be called "stimming", but at the time I used it more for expressing myself. I also had other repetitive movements that I did almost constantly without even realising what I was doing, but I considered the expressive movement to be a different thing entirely at the time.
It took me years to get my own words out, and that was only once I managed to break down (spoken AND written, and both connected) language into individual words and learn the meanings, then learn to build it back up again. (And, this could only happen after I’d lost most of my out-of-control scripted speech. AAC with symbols helped me break down language in this way, because each word has a separate button and I was forced to learn to form sentences without an already-there structure to fall back on).
In order to do this, first I must take the long string of noises, and break it down into words. Then I must take those words and process the meaning of them individually. The biggest challenge, and the thing that takes the most time, is building the sentence back up.
Words often change meaning when they're strung together, and this is the part where that meaning tends to disintegrate into nothing, for me.
I have to build an abstract "picture" of what the words mean in my head. With very complex language, or a lot of language at once, this can take me hours, days, or even weeks.
Written language is a lot easier to process - firstly, the "string of noises" part is completely eliminated from the equation. Secondly, I see written words as entire shapes. Shapes, symbols or signs connect much more strongly to their meaning, in my head.
I learned to write by hand before I could type, because writing by hand is just copying the shape of a word. I hadn't yet learned to break down a word into it's individual characters and sequence them in the right order, not to mention finding the letters on the keyboard. My spelling has always been fantastic because of my tactile memory for words - and I say tactile instead of visual, because I don't "see" anything in my head, but the shapes of words are something solid that I feel I can touch, hold, grab on to.
But typing was a completely different thing, because even though I could recognise and read words in a typed print, it took longer for me to understand how to put letters together in the correct order to create words using a keyboard. The motor plan for typing was much more difficult for me to learn, but now I have that skill it's invaluable to me in terms of communication.
It took me a little while longer to realise that a keyboard gave me the opportunity to use my own words from my own mind, rather than whatever my mouth (or brain, when writing - I had different written scripts than verbal scripts, though, usually from books) happened to blurt out without my control.
I learned to read very early, but my understanding of language was actually quite poor - separately I could recognise the definition of one word, but when many words are put together I didn't understand the meaning of that sentence or paragraph.
The feeling of being able to put my own thoughts into written words like this, and read them back, is such a rush of power. I can have a concrete, physical impact on the world now that I can use a keyboard and get all the things in my head out there. It becomes real as soon as it's outside of me.
I remember that "comprehension" (answering questions on a written passage - we learned to answer the questions in a certain way, with a “blueprint”) in school really helped me with the breaking down of sentences and rephrasing them. Even though at the time, it just felt like it added to my out-of-control scripted speech, it gave me a skill that has been incredibly useful to me in the long term.
Getting to this point, where I can express myself fluently and eloquently through written language, took so much time and work, and still takes all my energy to write something as long as this. I am so grateful for the genuine communication I have now. It took many sessions, over months, to write this in its entirety. I wrote it in separate chunks, all trying to express similar things, then fitted them together and altered some sentences to make it flow better. (Of course with lots of editing to fix my grammar and my tendency to repeat the same sentence structure over and over - I still use my “blueprints” while writing, it’s the only way I can form complex long sentences like this one).
In order to communicate a memory or past experience in words, I had to have been actively translating (or attempting to translate) my abstract thoughts into language at the time.
If I wasn't or couldn't do this at the time it was happening, those experiences, thoughts, emotions, etc. are almost impossible to describe in language now.
And translating my brain takes so much energy and effort, and relies on me being able to understand what is happening and what I'm thinking and feeling. I more often than not don't comprehend my own mind - if this is the case, then of course I can't explain it to someone else.
It still takes so much time, effort and energy to get my thoughts out like this, and I’m very proud of the progress I’ve made. Even just learning to use Tumblr and posting on here as regularly as I can manage (plus reading other people’s words about similar experiences, or even very different experiences), has increased my ability to express myself and the vocabulary I’m able to access.
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ichverdurstehier · 3 months
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So I'm writing an autistic character who's currently having a speech loss episode due to extreme trauma (trust me you don't want to know) how should I describe the noises he's making and his attempts at communicating? There's no AAC devices bc they haven't been invented yet. Nonverbal autistics and semiverbal autistics of Tumblr, what sounds do you make when you're trying to communicate but your mouth doesn't work? My strain of autism doesn't involve speech loss so I cannot use my own experiences
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tiredoflyme · 4 days
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Why, because I'm on the spectrum, am I the one who's always in the wrong when I feel insulted by the words of others? Why is it that I'm the one who is misunderstanding instead of the other person not expressing themselves well enough? Why does their lack of intent to hurt matter more than the fact that their words hurt me? I'm so sick of this twisted double standard being used against me.
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clownrecess · 11 months
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I has related question: do you know and if so are you willing to educate me on the difference between nonspeaking, nonverbal, and mute? and the respective "selective" variants of the three?
Nonverbal and nonspeaking have two different interpretations. Some people think of them as meaning the same thing, and others don't. I see both sides but personally do not like being called nonverbal very much because of this reason.
Nonverbal/nonspeaking are not umbrella terms, despite so many using it as such. Nonspeaking and nonverbal means always mute. It is not a word that can be used to describe a temporary experience. It is a word to describe the permanent or very long lasting state of a person.
Mute just simply means someone who cannot speak. Selectively mute means someone who is not fully mute, but goes mute in certain environments. I think it is important to note that the "selective" part of selectively mute does not mean "selects/chooses to be mute". It means goes mute in select situations. Some selectively mute people prefer "situational mutism" for this reason, to try and prevent that misunderstanding.
Semiverbal/semispeaking is also a permanent state, as nonverbal/nonspeaking is. Semiverbal/semispeaking is a term for a permanent state in which someone has an extremely difficult or restricted ability to use oral speech, and sometimes fully looses it.
Unreliably speaking is a term for people with apraxia, to describe their mouths not saying the words they want them to say. @perplexingluciddreams has explained the term in more detail though.
(tw! this next section has a mention of meltdowns)
Intermittently speaking is (I believe) a term to describe people who are primarily speaking but loose oral speech under severe stress like a meltdown.
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sayhoneysiren · 2 years
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connecting with air spirit
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1. advance your verbal communication skills. develop your verbal communication skills (words, speech, writing) and nonverbal communication skills (body language, laughing, crying, etc), to be better understood by others, and to also get a clearer understanding of other people as well.
2. bond. be open to companionship, friendship, harmonizing and building connections with others, as well as yourself. healthy friendships and relationships can truly bring out the chemistry of life.
3. create your reality. your word is the most powerful tool you have that manifest’s your reality. words are spells, so don’t curse yourself. speak of the heaven you wish to experience and you’ll have that.
4. don’t take life too seriously. be playful. be mischievous. be tricky. be experimental. be different. laugh. escape the drama. stay joyous.
5. take a different route. spice your life up by doing something different than you normally do. eat a new meal. drive on a new road. explore a new shop. watch a new movie.
6. learn more. when something peaks your interest, dive a little deeper and learn more about it. (ex: watch the animal channel. read psychology/spirituality books. take a class.)
7. teach. share your knowledge with others in a way that best suits you. (talking, writing, music, etc). being a mentor and sharing your spiritual knowledge and wisdom, can help assist others to a greater path.
8. be elusive. loose your self limiting perception yourself and just be whatever you want to be in the moment.
9. be innovative. forget the box you’re tryna fit into and create your own lane. combine and mix all the things that you love and own it.
10. find a solution. think like a scientist. there’s always a way to find a answer to every problem. try out everything and don’t be afraid of making mistakes, because in the end you’ll always have the solution.
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mooniemp3 · 1 year
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Reminder that us, autistic people who can speak, don't have to use semi-verbal and/or non-verbal, also "going non-verbal", if we are referring about losing the ability to speak in certain situations. Being semi-verbal or non-verbal is a constant state, it isn't something of certain situations, it isn't something you can be on one moment and not in the other.
It seems that a lot of verbal autistic people think that being verbal means we can speak just fine without any difficulties, that we literally speak all the time. But that's not the how it works.
can speak =/= having great communication skills
Being autistic means we have communication difficulties, even if we speak. And this means that yes, sometimes you can lose the ability to speak but it's an episode, not your daily life. It's a different difficulty and that's fine, you have to work with your own needs, that's the whole point of talking about autism as a spectrum.
But please remember
Losing the ability to speak in certain situations ISN'T THE SAME as can't speak at all or can't rely on speaking even if that person is emotionally fine and not anxious.
And no, not wanting to speak for hours or a day doesn't mean "going non verbal". It just mean you don't want to do it and that's completely fine. Even neurotypicals aren't speaking all the time. That's connected with the fact our social battery can go low faster and needs more time for recharge. Also connected with the fact that some of us only speak when we have a reason to do it, don't know if we have to speak at all and/or don't speak when we don't know what to say. These last three situatuons aren't the same as struggling with speaking, these are about struggling with social situations and verbal communication.
Also please but read what semi verbal and non verbal autistic people have to express. Learn about their experiences.
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autisticdreamdrop · 9 months
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autistic things 147
communication is hard. trying to find what to say with forms of AACs and TTS is hard. communication with your mouth parts is even harder though.
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a-timeless-illness · 9 months
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My own version of a Verbality-Umbrella flag
Can also be called: Non-Normative Vocabulary flag
Basically, resemble the symbol found below via the link.
1st - Intersection
2nd - Verbalism
3rd - Lexic
4th - Scribal
5th - AAC
6th - Non-conformist to Verbality Normative
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[Image ID: A 6 horizontal striped flag where the colors from up to down are black, pine green, lilac, pastel yellow, medium orange, and red. End ID]
[Image ID: A 6 horizontal striped flag where the colors from up to down are black, pine green, lilac, pastel yellow, medium orange, and red. In the symbol is a black circle filled with yellowish-white. An outline of a flat-black star rests in the middle, where inside is a filled in black circle. End ID]
Symbol
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euesworld · 2 years
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"Her voice is verbal sunshine, it lights the way to my brain where it connects to my heart and then my heart falls through space and time to drift off in my dreams.. cause that's what her voice does, it makes my dreams all come true cause she is standing right next to me."
Her voice is sweeter than honey on the ears - eUë
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storkmuffin · 7 months
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Is this an autism thing to be accused of not listening when you can't answer the question asked because the question makes unfounded assumptions that will not happen in reality and therefore there is no point? YOUR QUESTION IS STUPID SO DROP IT is what I am fighting so hard not to say. Maybe I really wasn't listening?!? I just couldn't understand why he thought this impossible thing would happen. Like...why waste time?!?
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do any of yall realize that maybe you just,,, aren't as good at speaking as you thought?
it's kinda hard to explain, but basically I can articulate myself pretty well over text but I fumble a LOT when it comes to verbal communication
it's like my brain just lags and it's hard to get stuff out
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ichverdurstehier · 5 months
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Nonverbal autistics of Tumblr, why exactly are you nonverbal? I'm writing a fanfiction and I want the parts about nonverbal autism to be accurate, bc my varient of autism allows me to talk (the stutter may be due to medications)
Please reblog for exposure!
When I say hurts too much to talk, I mean like the sensory feeling is too much
If other , pls put in reply
Pls describe your experiences
Also any master posts about nonverbal autistics from the perspectives of nonverbal autistics? The medical articles are all "how to know if your toddler has autism" as if autistics never grow up
Btw I accidentally voted for 'other' so subtract 1 from that result
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bobbydearest · 9 months
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^literally my mas face when I tryed explaining that the ring im planning to weave for my bf is a promise ring.now i learn i need to either make one or see what the possibility of my bf making or purchasing one for me is....
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^me wishing i would have compiled research and facts to present the items in my Amazon cart or just have prayed that she wouldn't have reacted how she did..... im not sure how to express things without confusing people ive struggled with it for years but it has progressed over the years now im tripping over words and not knowing what i mean or presenting it in a way that makes sense... cas is my literal spirit person/angel rn
@impala-dreamer, @because-imma-lady-assface, @supernaturalfreewill, @jobean12-blog, @supernatural-jackles, @drabblewithfrannybarnes,@theycallmebecca,@navybrat817-sideblog,@muchamusedaboutnothing,@toomanystoriessolittletime,@pascalpanic,@luci-in-trenchcoats, @holylulusworld everyone who was forgot
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raybyanothername · 1 year
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I am once more lamenting the fact that I cannot communicate well verbally. Every sentence feels wrong, every word feels lacking. Every eye is judgement. Silence is taken as agreement and every noise I make is a challenge.
The mask is sneaking back up and I'm smiling instead of screaming. I want to cry but I won't. I want to leave but I can't. Being perceived is more painful than being ignored, but I don't want to sink into the abyss. Maybe I'm just meant to exist in physical solitude where my voice only carries the weight I give it and not what others hear. Where my words can exist without being spoken.
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free--therapy · 2 years
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How Poor Communication Causes Stress
By Elizabeth Scott, PhD | Updated on November 5, 2020
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At their best, relationships—both romantic and platonic—can be one of the strongest sources of happiness and stress relief. They can offer positive experiences, keeping our moods high and steady, and creating a source of support when times are tough.
At their worst, however, relationships can feel toxic and can be a significant source of stress. This stress can be the constant, low-grade type, the intermittent stress that creates some measure of anxiety even when things are going well, or a variety of other forms of stress.
Much of what can make a relationship stressful or stress relieving is the type of communication that holds the relationship together. Healthy communication can enable us to weather nearly any storm and can keep things running smoothly on a day-to-day basis.
If communication is open and clear, small problems are dealt with quickly and easily, and the relationship moves on. When communication is less healthy, small problems can become larger problems and resentment can grow.
Here are some unhealthy types of communication to avoid, and how they create stress. You’ll also find healthier ways to communicate in all of your relationships. Some things that constitute poor communication include:
Not Really Listening
There are several forms of poor listening, and they all wear away at relationships in one way or another. There’s the lazy listening of someone who isn’t really paying attention but is politely saying, “Uh-huh…uh-huh.” This is only mildly detrimental, but it can damage a relationship when it's one-sided or chronic, and when one partner realizes that much of what they say isn’t really being heard or remembered. This can make a person feel less valued than they’d like.
More damaging is the type of poor listening where an important discussion is taking place and one person is merely waiting for their turn to talk rather than really hearing what their partner is saying.
This creates a situation where listening isn’t really happening, so understanding cannot take place. This wastes both people’s time and brings them no closer to one another when personal details are being shared, and no closer to a resolution when done in an important discussion.
Perhaps the most damaging form of poor listening is when one person simply refuses to listen or even try to understand the other side. This happens all too often and creates a standoff situation more often than not.
How It Creates Stress 
This can range from leaving one partner feeling that their time is wasted to feeling devalued, to feeling hopeless in the relationship when it comes to feeling heard or understood.
What to Try Instead:
Try to be present, first and foremost, when you communicate. Use active listening strategies like repeating back what you understand of what the other person has said. Try to validate feelings, and try to be sure you’re truly listening as much as you’d like to be heard. It’s more than worth the effort.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
This form of communication can show itself in many ways as well. One partner can undermine the other by agreeing to do something and then “forgetting,” or seeming to agree, but saying the opposite the next time the subject comes up. Passive-aggressiveness can also show itself by constant disagreement over small issues, particularly in front of others.
How It Creates Stress
This can be stressful in part because passive-aggressiveness is hard to address; it can be easily denied, creating a “gaslighting” situation. It can also create low-grade stress to feel you’re communicating with someone who doesn’t understand or won’t remember what is said or simply doesn’t care.
What to Try Instead:
Again, active listening can help here. Also helpful is direct communication, where you directly discuss if you have a disagreement or an issue with someone. Using "I messages" (e.g., "I feel frustrated when...") can help others understand how you feel as well. This may seem like the conflict at the moment, but it actually circumvents long-term conflict by resolving issues as they arise.
Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communication involves overtly hostile communication, including criticism or even name-calling. It devalues the other person overtly, leaving people feeling defensive and leaving no veil over the overt conflict.
How It Creates Stress
It never feels good to be attacked. Those using aggressive communication tactics are more interested in power and “winning” rather than coming to an understanding. This brings the conflict to a new level and makes mutual understanding elusive. 
What to Try Instead:
If you find yourself being aggressive, it’s time to stop and try to understand who you’re talking to, seeing their side as well. If you find yourself on the receiving end of aggressiveness and can’t get the person to understand your perspective, it may be time to distance yourself and use assertive communication techniques when necessary. Setting boundaries is a must.
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diagnosis-pending · 2 years
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mental illness is taping your mouth shut in highschool because you were so desperate for a talking break and the tape let everyone around you know that you weren't gonna be speaking
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