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#victorian mourning
marzipanandminutiae · 6 months
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I was just looking into the notion that widowers only had to mourn for 1 year after their wives' deaths, during the Victorian era, while widows had to mourn for two. because I've heard that a lot, but it seems to jive more with the Pop History version of the era where mourning existed because Imposing Rules On People Is Fun and All Marriages Were For Money than with the real version, inhabited by real people who idealized love matches and theoretically practiced formal mourning to show that they were going through something and needed gentle treatment
what I've gathered from a brief search for period sources seems to be:
one source from 1839 mentioned the "widows = 2 years; widowers = 1 year" thing
every other source I read (about 7, from various points in the era) implied or stated that the minimum normal period of mourning for widows and widowers was the same
That's a small sample size, but I still think it's significant
men's clothing could often be harder to visibly alter to reflect mourning, relying heavily on things like black cufflinks and collar studs that could be trickier to notice at first glance than. you know. a bonnet with a black veil over someone's face
a lot of sources talking about mourning clothes were fashion magazines aimed at women, and thus would be more likely to talk about women's mourning attire than men's
so my takeaway is that while some people at some parts of this 60-year period felt it acceptable for widowers to mourn for half the period of widows, many others at other times expected any bereaved spouse regardless of gender. obviously, in a highly misogynistic society, women's adherence to ettiquette could be much more scrutinized than men's; a widower who married six months after his wife's death would be looked askance at, but probably not subject to as much censure as a widow who did the same. and obviously, things don't go according to plan and the formal mourning system could of course backfire- forcing a woman into months of social seclusion for an abusive husband, for example
but.
the overall goal was to convey "handle with care" to the outside world. for many people, widowers were expected to need as much care as widows- and therefore to mourn for the same length of time
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in-herbones · 9 months
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My newest 🖤 comes 6/23 @ 3pm pst
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funeral · 1 year
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A widow in heavy mourning. c. 1860-1870.
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meanvictoriann · 9 months
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xxnewdawnfades · 29 days
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Victorian Mourning
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synthhart · 4 months
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Thinking about Victorian mourning periods and how the moriarthree would have had to play grieving sons and brothers for a year.
And yeah, the mourning period is kinda implied with it taking William an "extra" year before he attends Eton, and iirc, Albert also skipped a year because of it. But having to pretend to grieve people you hate? Not to mention Louis having to fake grieving his "brother", who was actually the abuser of his true brother. And obviously, all 3 pretending to grieve an emotionally negligent father and an abusive mother.
I imagine this specifically was the time Albert started perfecting his masks. All eyes are on him as the new (upcoming? He might not have received the title immediately, but I don't know enough about when one receives a title after a parent's death) Count Moriarty and now he's thrust into situations he wasn't going to be in until he was much, much older, so he needs to find ways to be taken seriously as a child.
William absolutely had to sell his performance as the grieving child because this would be the time people were watching most. Three children left as the only survivors of their family, and power-hungry nobles would have certainly tried to get whatever they could, believing the children weren't as unbelievably smart as they were.
Then there's Louis. You could make the argument he'd have the easiest time of it, being the, "only" adopted son, but it is also equally likely he'd have the most eyes on him because of that fact. If he didn't play his part well, he'd look ungrateful, maybe like he only came into this family with the intent to get one over them and steal their money. So Louis might have had to play his part the hardest.
And then add to the fact that with the burning of the manor, they wouldn't have had the seclusion that the beginning of the mourning period started with. The inherent tragedy of the entire house, serving staff, parents, and one child, going up in flames in a single night means they're thrust into the public eye immediately. They have to find their places quickly and they cannot falter because eyes are everywhere. Plus the fact that they just don't have a house anymore, and thus have to rely on others right out the gate.
Additionally there's the mourning wear. Luckily, them being male children, their wardrobe was less likely to be affected than female children, whose mourning wear would be similar to their mothers with the all-black and crepe silk dresses. I imagine Albert's would have been most affected with him being the eldest, but even then, it tended to be black armbands, hat bands, gloves, or cravats. And with all their belongings burned away, he might have even forgone it all together, needing to buy new wardrobes entirely for the three of them. Though, with how dramatic they all are, they probably all do something to add to the look.
All this to say, this also probably helped with how close all three are. Probably also helped Louis get closer to Albert because eyes would have been on them the most, while William, playing the second son, would have had a touch more freedom to be less obvious in his "mourning".
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widowshouse · 6 months
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Today's WIP~
A patchwork bat collar, made entirely with antique scrap fabric and sewn on by hand.
Still a lot of work left to do on it, but its coming along.
Shop link HERE
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empress-alexandra · 9 months
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Princess Alix of Hesse - later Empress Alexandra Feodorovna of Russia - in mourning of her father Grand Duke Louis IV of Hesse, 1892.
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hairtusk · 2 years
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Mourning brooch containing the hair of Anne Brontë, belonging to her sister Charlotte
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bloodmoon-mist · 1 year
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The Widow - Anders Zorn
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they’re just perfume vials guys
ancient Romans: the kings of Persia make their wives and concubines collect the tears they weep while said king is away in fancy vials, to prove how much they missed him!
Victorians: ancient Roman widows collected their tears in fancy vials, to put in their late husbands’ tombs!
modern antiques dealers: Victorians collected their tears in fancy vials after a loved one died, as part of their Bizarre Obsessive Goth Mourning Process!
literally no culture in known history: has been currently proven to have done this on a wide scale, for any reason
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in-herbones · 1 year
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Another of my newest creations. Boiled wool blend, all hand beaded, distressed silk taffeta neck pleat🖤
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la-belle-histoire · 2 months
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In Memoriam, Alfred Stevens. 1861.
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meanvictoriann · 6 months
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Mean Victorian.
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roses--and--rue · 11 months
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This enormous Victorian vulcanite cross is one of the nicest pieces of jewelry I’ve had in the shop.  Is it a mourning jewel? Maybe: 
Just because a piece of Victorian clothing or jewelry is black does NOT mean it was worn during mourning. Then, as now, people wore cross shaped jewelry & the color black all the time. That said, vulcanite was also a popular material for mourning jewelry as it offered a less expensive alternative to carved jet. This would be suitable jewel to wear, especially during a later stage of mourning when more elaborate embellishments were permissable.
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leannareneehieber · 6 months
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Full Mourning Season
(If you like my clothes, you'll like my books, I dress like I write)
https://linktr.ee/leannareneehieber
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