Stiles: Are you drunk?
Eli: Mother, please. I just had a glass of wine with dinner.
Stiles: And what did you have for dinner?
Eli: …Two bottles of wine.
(source)
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Smol Eli: Dada? Can I watch Funny Man again?
Derek: Funny Man?
Stiles: Sure, kiddo. *Puts on a Friday The 13th movie*
Smol Eli: Yay! Funny Man!
Derek: Um???
Stiles: Don't freak out. I haven't turned him into a sociopath, if that's what you're worried about. He's far too innocent to be corrupted that easily.
Derek: Okay, then do you mind telling me what he finds so funny abou-?!
Smol Eli: HAHAHA! Silly lady! Not s'pose ta fall 'sleep on da stairs!
Derek :...Ah. I see.
Smol Eli: Funny Man, you're so bad at hockey! 🤣
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Young Ian Bohen (Peter Hale) compared to Vince Mattis (Eli Hale)!
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Tyler Hoechlin & Vince Mattis
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Dylan Sprayberry in Ryan Kelley's instagram video
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Eli: *flicks open a switchblade* Alright, gang, let's do this!
Derek: Whoa, when did you start carrying a switchblade?!
Eli: ...it's a long story?
[Earlier that week]
Stiles: *hands Eli a switchblade* Here ya go, kiddo.
Eli: Neat!
(source)
(honestly new head canon: Stiles keeps giving sharp weapons to Eli and Derek keeps taking them away.)
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Stiles: Hey, you ever have the love of your life gruesomely die in a fire fighting a demon while you're out of town, leaving you an empty husk of a man drifting aimlessly through life in a sea of muted colors and numbness, unable to speak or eat or move for days?
Eli: No, can't say that I have.
Stiles: Yeah. Me neither. Isn't it great?
Derek: Hey, what are you two talking about?
Stiles: Oh, nothing. We were just talking about how happy and ungrief-stricken our lives are.
Derek: Again? I swear, sometimes I feel like the only thing you love more than me, your husband, and Eli, our son, is talking about how perfect our lives are and how uncomplicated our feelings are for each other. Either that or curly fries.
Stiles: Hahaha! Oh, Derek! I love how funny and alive you are!
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Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey, and Vince Mattis at BHR. The photo was shared by shotbyorion via Instagram
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