#voryn gets to be trans this time

[trickstarbrave]

cnc kink idea for nerevoryn.

they role play voryn as the leader of house dagoth not wanting to name nerevar hortator. nerevar plays a ruthless warlord who will be named hortator by any means necessary.

when he captures voryn and pins him to a table, voryn spits in his face asking nerevar if he thinks killing him will get house dagoth to name him as their war leader. if voryn dies, the leader becomes one of his many brothers, all of which are loyal to voryn. he can't kill his way to the position like he did with house telvanni

nerevar just smirks sadistically and goes "oh, i have no plans to kill you." and instead uses the knife he pulls out to cut voryn's clothes off him, ripping them the rest of the way off, and having his way with voryn. the whole while holding voryn's face and saying how voryn will name him hortator, even if nerevar has to break him to get him to do so. and then when he becomes king after driving the nords out of resdayn, he'll make voryn his personal concubine. if he doesn't knock voryn up with his bastard first

[shiveringgroovy]

PART 3 HC ASKS

WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER DOES EVERYONE USE ipads/tablets are allowed im extending this to like phones and stuff i've just decided

errrm HEHEHE !! gonna do my favs for this :3

Sheogorath

not a big computer guy. probably has a fuckass nokia phone and has hit computers with golf clubs before.

haskill gives him a tablet to watch shitty youtube videos on

i know he fucks with really bad yt shorts

probably invented them tbh

Atsushi

has a phone and that's about it

uses agency computers for work and kinda hates operating them (they also kinda suck so yk)

Sotha Sil

INSANELY FAST RUNNING SETUP

like 500 monitors and LEDs and a see-through tower and a fucking gaming chair

blender king

probably built it all himself

he's insane

the electric bill is through the roof.

Fyodor (i actually despise him but it's funny)

so he canonically has the worst most diabolical evil fucked up setup known to MAN please get him to touch some grass i'm begging you

freaky ass medieval peasant that introduced HIMSELF to goreshit

discord is running somewhere there. trust me

Relmyna Verenim (did you guys know i like her)

also has multiple monitors, not as many as sil but yk

probably runs like super slow and she has to resist the urge to snap her monitors in half every time she tries to open up any program

minecraft girlie (i also hc her as trans she's very loser scientist transfem coded)

she spends most of her time in the field but she likes her computers to write down her stuff

Yosano

has a tablet and a phone

uses them sparingly, but talks to ranpo a lot over texts

Vivec

has the newest phone models. always buys them instantly.

they're a prick

probably has a fucking typewriter rather than a computer because he's pretentious

Ranpo

has a tablet and a phone, uses them much more often than yosano

he seems like he prefers to read on screens than books imo

it also makes more sense, he doesn't like carrying a bunch of stuff around so having a tablet would be convenient

will text people while sitting directly across from them

Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth

has a flip phone and that's it

Jouno

bc he's blind, he's not a fan of technology all that much, but uses screen readers and speaks to type.

more of a phone guy!!

has cut a laptop in half before

Nerevar

doesn't believe in computers

Kenji

also doesn't believe in computers

Lucien Lachance

owns a laptop but never uses it

written mail type of guy

Q/Yumeno

would go apeshit on a tablet.

probably a really big art fan, so really uses them for drawing and games and stuff

someone introduce this kid to a pc with a drawing pad

also loves music, would be the only normal technology user on this list istg

Haskill

owns something for every situation

nothing too fancy tbh

has a home pc, a laptop, a phone, and a tablet

uses them all for his job and has them all labelled and everything

has games on his phone for sheogorath

Ivan Goncharov

it's cause you're always on that damn rock

hates typing with every fiber of his being

smashes shit. has absolutely crushed pushkin's phone before and pushkin almost shot him

uses laptops and pcs out of necessity, uses walkie-talkies for communications because he just likes them

Ocheeva

biggest spreadsheet fan of all time

has a laptop that flips into a tablet

she loves organizing things and presenting them to the rest of the dark brotherhood

they don't listen to the immense power of a girl with a spreadsheet. like fools.

Bram

mp3 player or a phone just for music purposes

pays for every music subscription known to man

last.fm ass bitch

[kagrenacs]

I think there’s another conversation to be had (which, based off the response to the last post a lot of people have also been thinking, I just want to get a ball rolling) about transphobic and homophobic narratives attached to Voryn.

Traversing this one leads to some slightly muddy water, because a lot of trans and gay people do project through him, and do project more feminine traits. And I don’t think that’s an inherently bad thing-- there’s something to be said about lgbt people desiring non-sanitized, messy relationships that the media often denies. (And I would say identifying/reclaiming through villains which have often had gay traits attached to, and have been for a long time the only gay-coded characters allowed. But idk if there’s enough evidence to definitively say Dagoth Ur is gay coded within the author’s bias, it’s 3 lines the fandom has worked off of.) But most of the time I see this happen, it’s done with an orientalist lens, which has it’s own power dynamics of masc-femme traits attached to poc as a form of dehumanization. 

Leading back to the gay-coding the fandom has done, I suppose you need to question what harm this might do. How might this perpetrate harmful flamboyant stereotypes around lgbt individuals (keeping transfemmes especially in mind, as they often end up bearing the brunt of a lot of the fall out) How might this encourage continued orientalist thought against the MENA+Japanese cultures the Dunmer often take inspiration from? There are flamboyant gay people. There are flamboyant poc. The issue is when that becomes the character’s only defining trait, their flanderization. It’s dehumanizing. It gives a message that gay people are crazy and obsessive about their exes and evil. I think you can actually glean a lot from this character, even from very little. He’s smart, charismatic, proud, (perhaps arrogant) and nationalistic. I don’t think there’s any easy answer to this, but my rule of thumb has always been to try to do no harm, and learn from your mistakes, and I’m hopeful that others can take away that message and at least think about this.

[venacoeurva]

IRT the slavery jokes, and the tag about how bad it must have been years ago: I’ve been in the fandom for almost twenty years, and it honestly wasn’t too bad until Oblivion came out? The fandom shifted from quiet nerds to mainstream very quickly. Could be that I was insulated to some specific forums where the biggest drama was “stop asking us where the puzzle cube is” and one of the mods wanted to make dremoras and atronachs kiss, but I don’t remember much in the way of slavery jokes and offensive bullshit until Oblivion happened and attracted a bunch of randos, a lot of whom were edgy teens who started the whole thing. Worryingly, a lot of people also came in and played Morrowind out of curiosity, then walked away thinking the whole Dunmer xenophobia thing was “cool.”

HOMOPHOBIA, on the other hand, was a big deal even before Oblivion. Lots of people gnashing their teeth over Vivec being canonically bi and AlienSlof making mods that had assless chaps for men. It’s kind of funny that Voryn/Nerevar is the big ship nowadays because I can still remember all the dudes who felt personally threatened by mesh shirts for elves, and screaming “IM NOT GAY” while staring at the Nude Better Bodies option on GameSpy.

Yeah, I can see that happening (keep in mind I was like 6 when mw came out and I wasn't exactly Online), Oblivion promo was everywhere around when it came out and permeated everything for YEARS (at least around here, everyone had it, everyone was playing it, same with Skyrim, but I feel like Oblivion was a BIG big thing because the high fantasy sort of appeal, the lore wasn't prohibitive for new players, and it looked graphically ambitious for the time). I think the aughts were around when being a Gamer started being seen as a semi-cool/acceptable subculture, too, so I'm sure that emboldened a lot of those dickweeds because they felt like revolutionaries or something and circlejerked, including their shared bigotry (and then the skyrim nazi problem happened). Biiig gateways to get people into the older games.

But yeah, I remember constant homophobia and every other [minority]phobia was just a Fandom Problem in general regardless of series... at least the fragility of homophobic dudebros toward even the most basic shit like a male character being shirtless or had tight pants, or having long hair (or a female character having short hair, because they're afraid that's too gay for them) was funny and pathetic as hell when they weren't expressing a wish that people like me die or something. The fact that people still act like this makes me wonder how they survive.

I saw it in multiple places. I think it helps along with general social progress that social media is more than mostly just forums, old style blogs, webcomics, and dA so more lgbtq+ people can just be out there and not get flamed and harassed to the point of just leaving all available mainstream platforms for fans of something and sites are (usually) more proactive about preventing as much hate speech and the average person will shut down or ignore and simply report/block anyone trying to be bold with it.

Also yeah it's kind of funny it's so big suddenly? I think people just really like running with subtexts with fanbases in general these days instead of just sticking to staunch, outright and stated canon that's put directly in your face (which is kind of moot with dying on that latter hill for this series lmao) because people used to just fight you on that shit back in the day for any series, and going nuts and finally have the freedom to do so. New people coming in with their pre-established behavior and accepted norms from other fandoms helps as well I'm guessing. And judging by tags on my art, gay dudes just really like Voryn and see him as a projection character/he was a gay awakening for some of them? I think being on the gay trans website in an era that shipping is its own subculture within fandoms helps

[boethiah]

PSA: in case you receive any anons about tesblr user @nehti

@nehti​ aka cliffy is being targeted by a malicious person, or group of people, who have repeatedly and falsely accused him of racism/homophobia/transphobia over the course of the past year. this harrassment started with the creation of a demonstratably fake callout post by (since deleted) user @voryn--dagoth, the partner of current user @indoril-nerevar-mora (this will be important later). today i saw a mutual receive an ask claiming that @nehti is homophobic and transphobic. given that this shit has gone on for more than a year now i feel compelled to post the Receipts(tm) on this entire mess, because i’m reasonably certain i know who is behind it and it’s fucking gone on long enough. 

tl;dr: @nehti is a trans gay biracial man being targeted by an anonymous harrasser making false accusations against him. disregard and block these anons.

details and receipts under the cut: 

last year, i discovered this callout post about my friend, who then went by username @nerevaree, allegedly showing him harrassing the op as well as their boyfriend, @indoril-nerevar-mora: (MAJOR TW FOR RAPE, TRANSPHOBIA) https://web.archive.org/web/20190812042819/https://voryn--dagoth.tumblr.com/post/186847866169/im-going-to-get-shit-for-this

i was taken aback, because these screenshots were completely unlike my friend. which is why it made a lot of sense when i noticed the typo in the final one (censored for gross content): 

given that nehti is my friend and someone i interact with often, i made a callout on my writing blog, @bitchwhoreofastorm​, to point out the error (i was on tumblr hiatus at the time, and my writing blog was my only active blog). in response, @voryn--dagoth deleted, so i confronted his partner, @indoril-nerevar-mora. INM  claimed that @voryn--dagoth couldn’t be the author of the fake callout post (despite having... posted it, edited it, propagated it). initial convo: 

and a copy/paste of our following IM conversations:  

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1apjrOs1Z_EQB15nK6xgOqrTXPi1mM2kuIxOQz3SLUcw/edit?usp=sharing

this all happened last year. @voryn--dagoth disappeared for a while, but reappeared periodically until now. 

earlier this year, another friend experienced some drama in a discord server, and then began to receive anon hate that was eerily similar to the hate in the fake callout post. upon investigation, the drama they’d gotten into was with @indoril-nerevar-mora as well. they had made an rp server, to which INM reacted badly, eventually kicking them out-- the anon hate started at the time of that fiasco. 

here’s their explanation of the events (from the vent channel of my own discord server, posted with permission, name censored for their safetyl):

screenshots proving the described event was about INM:

anon hate received by my friend about the drama: 

i’ve included this because of the striking similarity to the harrassment received by cliffy, and the fact that @indoril-nerevar-mora was again involved. especially given how targeted the anon hate was, i don’t think it’s mere coincidence. 

so, my conclusion is that either @indoril-nerevar-mora or someone close to him is targeting nehti for... god knows what reason. and i’m fed up with it lol. 

do with this what you will! 

[foulserpent]

What are the interactions between dusty and dagoth ur like?

very weird on like, literally so many layers. so aside from just the obvious surface stuff theres

the implication that nerevar and voryn dagoth might have had a thing, or at the very least that mr dagoth had something on his end

the sense dusty is getting that theres some Thing (that used to be love but is long since something else) that dagoth ur has for nerevar and therefore her

that fact contrasted with their discomfort with like. normal mundane relationships esp with men due to having been in one with a man who took advantage of them and was emotionally abusive

AND dusty being in the process of figuring out theyre trans and partially identify with womanhood

dusty being unconvinced that theyre nerevar reincarnated but being manipulated from all angles into filling that role and at some point is inextricably connected on a metaphysical level regardless

dusty having memories and feelings that really cant be their own including a profound sense of love and pity for dagoth ur mixed with the fear and hate and disgust

dusty going thru a personal process of alternating between embracing the nerevarine thing and reclaiming their own identity, especially within the context of them being trans

dusty being unable to trust their perception of reality and whether something is a hallucination, vision, visitation, or active manipulation by azura/dagoth ur/?????

the time between being declared hortator/nerevarine and the confrontation with dagoth ur is one huge downward spiral for dusty and theyre at their borderline lowest point about then and genuinely are considering submitting to him and then going “no why would i do that, that isnt me,  i have to protect these people” and either way wanting to talk to him and try to understand everything thats going on

so basically its a big mess. they do have a prolonged talk with him before their confrontation, which ends in them saying roughly “im not nerevar but im going to kill you anyway” and trying to believe it, and dagoth ur being like “cheers ill drink to that sis”

[lavenderlight]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 40 >:)

Ahdgkhh okay here we go!!!

1: Which TES games have you played?

All 5 main series games, ESO, and Blades!

2: Favorite TES game?

Oblivion........ like the other games have traits I like more, but also cons. Like... if I had to pick a game to just play with only the Unofficial Patch, it’d be that one.

3: When and how you got into TES? I was at a game store with my brother and we saw Oblivion with all these award “amazing game” stickers on it on clearance. So picked it up. I wasn’t impressed right away (remember picking dark elf tho) so put it down. My bro played it and said “omg you have to get out of the tutorial dungeon that sucks but the rest of the game is so good!” So I made a bosmer and did and there rest is history. TES has been a special interest of mine and a big comfort series for a decade now!  4: Favorite race Bosmer! Dunmer are a close second though. Thanks Morrowind. 5: Favorite province Valenwood........... love it............ Cyrodiil too because I’m basic. 6: Favorite character Ahdjgh hard to pick because there are so many! Off the top of my head, Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth, Indoril Nerevar (what a shock, I know), Serana Volkihar, Glarthir, The Adoring Fan (don’t @ me), The Jemane Brothers, Marcurio, really all the characters from ESO’s main quest and the ending side quests who help you 😭😭. 7. Favorite faction

Thieves’ Guild, minus Skyrim’s. Skyrim’s Thieves’ Guild was awful eww.

8: Which province you would like to live in

If the lore and history and stuff weren’t a thing, Summerset because it’s aesthetic and has nice beaches. Realistically, probs Cyrodiil because I’m basic and I like how it’s a melting pot of various races and cultures!

As much as I love Valenwood, wouldn’t be able to handle the Green Pact

9: Which deity/deities would you worship?

Dibella - because I like how she’s the divine for the arts, and actual true love and beauty in the world (feel like she’s the divine most likely to say gay rights and trans rights). That vibes with me.

Makes me sad that both in the games and in the fandom, she’s reduced to “ha ha slutty sex goddess”. 

10: Favorite Divine

Dibella because see above.

11: Favorite Daedric Prince

Oh boy... hajdg I love Daedra (except Molag Bal - eww)!!! So it’s hard to pick. Just rapid fire listing some favs: Sheogorath, Meridia, Azura, Barbas (does he count?), Hircine... 

12: Favorite enemy

Dagoth Ur

13: Favorite dungeon

Hmmm, I feel like I’m forgetting some, but I enjoyed Nocturnal’s trial dungeon in Skyrim because I like sneaking and it was all based on that.

14. You have awakened and you are a Cliff Racer. What do you do?

Hunt and kill anyone who dares to step outside Seyda Neen lol

15: What would you do if you contracted vampirism?

C u r e

16: What would you do if you contracted lycanthropy?

C u r e

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on?

Not rly because I’m ace.

 If so, who?

18: Favorite Great House

The Sixth House. The Tribe Unmourned. The-

Honestly all of them are whack and have... issues. When I played Morrowind, I didn’t join any of them lol. Telvanni is at least entertaining and very out there which makes them cool. So I guess them?

19: Favorite TES music

Ahaha... I sold my soul to Jeremy Soule... I have so so many... :’)

“The Road Most Travelled”, “Peaceful Waters”, “Stilt Sunrise”,  “Auri-El’s Ascension”, “Sunrise of Flutes”, “Harvest Dawn”, “All’s Well” “The Streets of Whiterun”, “Secunda” (this is one of my all time favourite video game songs!), “Sovngarde”, “One They Fear”

Then from ESO which has other composers too: “Northpoint Nocturne”, “Moth, Butterfly, and Torchbug”, and “Grazelands Dawn” (mostly because it’s a remix of “The Road Most Travelled” 🥺)

Oh, and this song from the Morrowind dlc because the remaster of “Nerevar Rising” from 2:54 onward. (which how could I forget “Nerevar Rising”? Ugh it gives me feels! The Oblivion and Skyrim main themes are very near and dear to me too)

Also really enjoyed this song from Clockwork City - captures the melancholy vibe and I like the clock noises in it.

20: In your opinion, what is the scariest thing in TES?

I can’t stand spiders so anytime anything having to do with them shows up... I play with mods that remove them and in ESO,  I have a list of dungeons and places to avoid. If I have to do one, I make someone go with me and kill them for me lol.

The Lighthouse Quest in Skyrim was also mega spooky. As for lore, soul trapping and the Soul Cairn really freaks me out! I can’t bring myself to use soul trapping because it bothers me :( I headcanon that when a soul gem runs out of charge, the soul is freed because it’s the only way I can sleep at nigh leave me alone lol 21: Favorite main quest Morrowind, hands down. I will infodump and discuss that game’s plot forever. 22: Favorite side quest

I really like the Daedric Shrine quests, they’re always fun. Also love the silly little short quests like in Morrowind when you have to help the guy get his pants back, or in ESO where you gotta find the lost dog in Valenwood and pet it.

Oblivion has loads of side quests I loved... the missing dunmer painter, Hackdirt, that quest with the ladies who are killing men, the Floating Bowl quest... the mystery at Chorrol Castle....

23: Most frustrating experience in a TES game

I get mad any time the sneaking mechanics in ESO don’t work like the main games. Because I always play an archer-thief lol.

That one fabricant machine puzzle in Tribunal.... oh man........ I had to look it up.

And also the final boss for Clockwork City was annoying. Don’t go to the Clockwork City!

24: Funniest experience in a TES game

Other than moments intended to be funny, I sometimes laugh whenever I miss a jump and end up dying from fall damage. It’s so ridiculous.

Dagoth Ur’s “What are you doing?!” when you first attack the Heart always gets a chuckle out of me too. He sounds so... upset and disappointed in you? Lol

25: Most badass moment in a TES game

The ending to ESO’s main quest was a rly big power fantasy moment for me.

Also more mundane, but I felt really cool and powerful when I got to the point in Morrowind where I could one shot kill cliff racers lol

26: Saddest experience in a TES game

The ESO side quest, “The Soul-Meld Mage” in Coldharbour. After that one, I had to step away for a bit.... man. It hurt my heart and I still feel so bad. That was a case in the game where I really felt impacted by how cruel and awful Molag Bal is. Like I *knew* but that quest played with my emotions and made it personal.

27: Favorite area/region

Valenwood from ESO. I spend all my time there, and sometimes go to Summerset or Vvardenfell lol.

28: Least favorite character

Vivec.

Also don’t like Maven-Black Briar. :I

29: In-game food item you want to eat the most

Sweetroll! 

Also this one recipe for a beef dish I found in Valenwood sounded good.  Maybe also the Sunrise Souffle mentioned in Skyrim?

30: If you could try skooma, would you?

No. Don’t do drugs, kids.

31: If you had the skills and resources to do a perfect cosplay of any TES character who would it be?

Probs Serana

32: Have you read any of the novels?

No, but I’ve been thinking about it!

33: Favorite class to play

Thief, or a thief-similar class like agent or rogue.

34: Which type of magic would you most like using?

Alteration seems the most useful for everyday life lol. But illusion would be fun.

35: Favorite weapon

I use bows all the time!

36: Favorite spell

Levitate from Morrowind - it’s so much fun to use!

37: Favorite artifact

Nerevar’s Moon-And-Star Ring. It’s cute lol and I like the lore behind it!

Also enjoy the Wabbajack because of how silly it is, and Dibella’s Brush of Truepaint.

38: You have awakened to find you’re in Tamriel. How do you react?

Because yeah I love TES but also the world of it is scary with gods and monsters constantly trying to kill you lol

39: Thoughts on ESO so far

I really enjoy the world and writing! But I’m still cranky over some moments where it’s an MMO and not a normal TES game :I

I also hate that we can’t have NPC companions.  You really gonna give me a clockwork nix-hound named Snuffler and not let me travel with him? For shame.

40: Character you’d most like to hang out with

Nerevar, because I’m very awkward and shy and bad at peopleing and I would hope he could teach me how to improve lol.

But to actually hang out and chill, Marcurio would be pretty fun lol

[fallen-chances]

7, 10 and 26!!

What made you pick your name?

It was one of the choices for my name if I had been amab! I was my dad's last chance for a son. another running contender was Sevyn bc I would have been my father's seventh child (not all with my mom, he was a manwhore before getting with her) I decided to go with Chance because it was already associated with me in my family's heads, and also I just thought it was cool.

When did you realize you weren’t cishet?

Oh when in 6th grade my friend asked me "so are you bisexual or something?" and I was like wtf is that and she explained it to me and I was like "oh yeah I guess I am." I just radiated gay vibes. I knew it in theory bc my older sister had mentioned girlfriends and stuff before but I genuinely didn't really know it was a big Deal. My family never rlly talked about gay stuff, neither good or bad so I just thought it was a normal thing to feel like I liked boys and girls cuz my sister did too and my brother kissed a boy that one time. (he has since backpedaled in an attempt to be the most cishet man in existence)

And the trans came in 8th grade when one of my friends who knew I generally was good with sexuality stuff was questioning their gender and wanted my help researching trans stuff. and while reading up for them I started questioning myself.

Some characters you headcanon as LGBT+?

Depends on the fandom I guess. I suppose with tes I love me a good bi Almalexia and Gay Nerevar in a wedding of necessity. transmasc ace Sotha Sil beloved. nb bi Vivec is basically canon right? Bi Voryn too. Love love love nb lesbian Kagrenac bc of you.

I won't go into other fandoms I could go on forever I think dhfbsbfb

[ichorsought]

MEET THE MUSE

► Name ➔  Lord Indoril Nerevar ► Are you single ➔ Yes. ► Are you happy ➔  Sometimes ► Are you angry? ➔  Yes ► Are your parents still married ➔  No

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ Who Knows ► Hair Color ➔ White; black in his most successful reincarnation. ► Eye Color ➔  Golden, but red when he’s reincarnated. ► Birthday ➔   Whomst Knows ► Mood ➔   Having a really weird time ► Gender ➔  Trans man ► Summer or winter ➔ Summer ► Morning or afternoon ➔ Morning

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔  No ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ No. ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ Ayem, but on mutual terms.  ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔  No.  ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ To a degree ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔   No. ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ Yes. ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ No. 

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ Love. ► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Lemonade.  ► Cats or Dogs ➔ Guars! ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ Many regular friends.  ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔  Wild night out. ► Day or night ➔    Night.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔    No. ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔   Yes. ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔   No.  ► Wanted to disappear ➔    Yes.

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔  Smile. ► Shorter or Taller ➔ Shorter ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔   Intelligence. ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔   Relationship.

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔   Left my family.  ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔   Yes.   ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ Yes. ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔  No. 

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔  No. ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔    Used to.  ► Who is your best friend ➔    No one.  ► Who knows everything about you ➔   Ayem, Vehk, Seht, and Voryn. 

Tagged by: @foulmurder (bless u)

Tagging: i don’t like tagging people so steal it!

[trickstarbrave]

TCS FRIDAY BABEYYYY

i just wanna talk about steren because i love him. sorry for what will no doubt be rambling u_u @the-elder-polls i will be including art and stuff as necessary bc i love my boyyyyyyy and ive drawn him a lot

he's technically a nerevarine. he isnt nerevar's reincarnation though, instead nerevar (trans) and voryn had a kid by accident and well. steren is the reincarnation of THAT child.

first lifetime in his early life he was born at kogoruhn and raised in house dagoth. The cover story is nerevar was on a pilgrimage for azura and voryn had a drunken affair with a woman. steren is born, voryn fakes the death of the random woman, now he has a son. very few people know the truth. nerevar wanted to raise him but he was originally born a commoner and while he's strong enough to protect himself, he wouldn't put it past anyone with a grudge to target a literal infant just to spite him. nerevar still visits often though, under the guise that of course he'd be nice to his closet friend's son

steren was born a few years before the war of the first council though. tensions were getting high between the chimer and previously quiet dwemer, and house dagoth being the spies for the chimer by and large discovered what kagrenac was up to. you know the rest (mostly). nerevar and voryn die, the tribunal become gods, the dwemer vanish, everyone becomes dunmer except ayem and half of vivec... tribunal had caught on though that steren was nerevar's son as well though and they think it is particularly cruel to kill nerevar's only child just because he's of house dagoth blood. so they pretty much wipe his memories for the most part and have him raised in house indoril.

steren grew up in house indoril, and eventually realized he was of house dagoth. he confronts vivec who had become a sort of mentor to him, and vivec tells him to leave it in the past. he was spared because he was an innocent child. house dagoth were destroyed because they were traitors. they had to be purged from morrowind. there is nothing in the past that will give steren the answers and comfort he wants and will only lead him to his doom. this goes over as well as you would expect with him leaving house indoril and looking for answers alone. at some point he got married and had a kid, but his mission was about uncovering the secrets of house dagoth the tribunal tried to bury and learn more about his parents. he's killed during a collapse of some ruins. his wife takes the kid and promptly leaves morrowind, fearing what the temple may do now that steren is dead

family line continues for a while, and during this time nerevar's ghost has been watching over them. he felt too bad leaving his son all alone in the world, so he silently watched over him, heartbroken. then steren died and nerevar followed his child, his child's child, and so on. up to the third era where steren is reborn to a dying woman on the run from some illiac bay nobleman. after she dies, steren goes to an orphanage. unknown parents, born under a certain sign, fulfilling the prophecy. he's arrested when, after leaving a house he was robbing, he stumbles upon a dead body at the completely wrong time. the trial is shit because this is the TES universe (guilty until proven innocent is canon fsr, dont let me ramble about why we'll be here all day) and he develops a fear of large crowds having their eyes all on him (idk what thats called). he stays 3 months in prison before being pardoned and shipped to morrowind. despite it being his home province he never heard great things about it.

he follows the storyline pretty closely. except that this is my world so mods like tamriel rebuilt are canon for me. he joins house hlaalu and the mages guild. he's really freaked out by all the sleepers who know him by name saying weird shit calling him 'prince' or some shit so he decides to take the opportunity to visit the mainland when the mages guild asks him to. on the mainland he does a bunch of stuff but finds vissamu and an ancient tome from house dagoth. he doesnt know why but he cant let go out of the house dagoth stuff. its familiar. but it also makes his heart ache.

more importantly though on the mainland is he comes across a dunmer who didn't know what house or family he was from. a nearby temple has you gather ingredients for a ritual to summon an ancestor spirit. steren does it correctly and then after seeing the guy happy to know who he is and able to build a relationship with his deceased family, asks the temple to do the same for him. an ancestor spirit is in fact summoned but before they can reveal who steren is, nerevar shoos them away. all steren knows is it fails but the priest sees what is clearly saint nerevar watching over him and tells him he doesnt know why it failed but that he is watched over well. steren hears a voice urging him to go outside and does so. there, nerevar reveals himself, able to communicate with him now, and tells him he stopped the spirit. she wanted to come and talk to him, but she was a woman of house dagoth (voryns mom specifically) and nerevar feared what might happen if his lineage was revealed to others. steren is kinda freaked out, asking if he'll go insane like some of the sleepers he sees, but nerevar assures him he wont let that happen.

back on vvardenfell steren continues his questing. gets corprus, cures corprus. goes to kogoruhn and finds at the old family hearth a bottle with what was originally his baby teeth as well as locks of hair from both parents, typical things to leave near the family hearth for protection. steren takes it with him, not knowing why he's so attached to it.

after getting the ring though he gets his past life memories back and realizes he's not nerevar reborn. he has memories of "uncle nerevar" in his first life. he demands answers, crying, and nerevar comes clean that no, he isn't nerevar reborn. nerevar didnt want him doing this either, but azura has no other options because nerevar refused to reincarnate and apologizes to steren. but steren asks how he can wear the ring then and nerevar is quiet before explaining that while he was alive he asked azura to modify the enchantment so that nerevar and his descendants can wear the ring. that steren's other parent was always nerevar, but nerevar couldnt be open about that fact because he couldnt bear the thought of his own child being killed

fighting dagoth ur is particularly painful because dagoth ur recognizes steren as his son but well. he's still insane. dagoth ur thinks steren is too corrupted and blinded by the tribunal who stole him away and brainwashed him, but dagoth ur can kill and remake him, just like he did his brothers. then he can bring back nerevar, purge the empire from morrowind, and live together as a family, proud and openly. defeating him was not easy emotionally or physically tbh, but steren did win.

also at some point he got trueflame. i havent figured out when he did the tribunal dlc quite yet. it might be while he was on the mainland if im being honest but i feel like almalexia would def spill the beans on who he is. maybe he takes out the assassins, comes back, gets the ring, and then goes to deal with the rest of the stuff from tribunal.

after daogth ur's defeat, azura comes to usher nerevar to moonshadow. spirits arent supposed to remain in the realm of the living for too long and he risks being completely destroyed. nerevar is worried, but steren assures him he'll be fine, and nerevar goes to rest. then azura says she'll give steren any gift within her power to him as a reward for doing such a difficult task, and steren says he just wants to be with his parents again. azura frowns and says she cant bring back the living. steren knows. azura is even more upset because steren is not that old for dunmer and is already asking to die. but instead of killing him she sends him to another world where his parents ARE alive. and also 200 years in the future where theyre together in hopes steren can be with his parents and live happily there. she's going to let this worlds nerevar and voryn have the memories of steren's world too so it wont be weird.

mephala though intervenes with the reasoning "you can just send people to different worlds and time periods. you'll fucking break the dragon." and drops him off not in mournhold but in blacklight, outside of a brothel where the reincarnation/child of vivec (named vivienne, who belongs to @wellthebardsdead) is currently being kept. in this world nerevar was the nerevarine, azura restored him to his status, voryn reincarnated, i wrote about them getting together here. steren, strongly resembling voryn, is taken in by force and fed poison to both diminish his strength and keep him from healing the injuries from dagoth ur. but he and vivienne save up money from tips and escape. steren couldnt take his ring or sword but he figures the brothel madam probably pawned them off and he should just gtfo of morrowind before the temple figures out theres two copies of nerevar's ring and sword and if theres an impersonator running around. they hop on a boat like a day or two before voryn and nerevar track down the brothel in blacklight to look for steren.

they get off the boat in.... SKYRIM!!! surprise, vivienne is the dragonborn too. he and steren are very close but very shy about admitting the fact theyre in love. theyre both traumatized and afraid of hurting the other or being rejected. im sure you can imagine.

look at how cute they are...

also since steren isn't the dragonborn he doesnt do much of the msq. he is more like a follower but he has some side content he does. he joins the companions, contracts lycanthrope (thanks hircine, not helping steren's opinion of daedra at all), ends up doing the forsworn conspiracy and after breaking out of the mine the forsworn take over markarth. vivienne does the thieves guild and steren helps with that bc he does know some dwemer from being taught it by both nerevar as a ghost and voryn when he was a kid. also he did the mages guild in morrowind so he knows a lot of dwemer stuff. oh steren also got fucked up by the heart of lorkhan a little and during the peace talks he did make the throat of the world start shaking when he got violently angry. steren is also not at all impressed with delphine (he already didnt like the blades for obvious reasons)

oh they also adopt a scrib. named mr scribbles. its later revealed scribbles is a girl but (sorry i cant draw bugs well)

alduin is defeated and vivienne comes back. steren was worried sick but is happy to have his beloved back. they confess, its cute, and steren gifts him a necklace he made with traditional house dagoth craftsmanship

shortly afterwards though miraak's cultists show up and despite what they want they have to go to solthsheim and deal with it..... ugh. while all this is going on nerevar and voryn arrived in skyrim and were trying to track their son down sort of on a wild goose chase. by the time they catch up steren and vivi are on their way to solstheim.

on solstheim they try to keep a low profile. steren uses a bandana to keep the big red star on his face covered. vivienne ends up getting turn grey and cold like vivec which doesnt help the vivec allegations. after he's turned steren starts getting some gold patches on him too (i forgot the red star like an idiot sorry)

one of vivienne's clients though survived the purge that voryn and nerevar did. his name is sen dres and he's been hiding out on solstheim getting enough political power to either go to skyrim and find vivi or get vivi when they come to solstheim. sen hates steren thinking steren is the one who convinced vivi to leave and his plan is to kill steren and take vivi back to morrowind to live with him forever. when he finds out vivi is the reincarnation of vivec he wants to force him to become vivec too because then he can have a god as his slave/husband. i hate sen dres so much. anyways he manages to get steren and vivienne alone and convinces vivi if he comes quietly they'll leave steren alive. only to promptly stab steren straight through the stomach and leave him there to bleed out while vivienne is gagged so he cant shout and drugged.

nerevar and voryn do arrive in time to help steren and heal him up. they were told by the house hlaalu dude actually what sen dres' plan was because that guy saw steren had the tattoo of a house hlaalu grandmaster and he doesn't want a potential high ranking member of house hlaalu to die. they get steren to safety and with the rest of the dragonborn gang rescue vivi and the two of them are happy together again while recovering :))) and steren gets to see his parents

steren and vivi also end up getting married eventually. yay!!!!!!

other stuff i couldnt figure out where to put it-- at first the good three think vivi is vivec. mephala sent steren to vivi to see if he'd betray steren to alleviate his own suffering. but vivienne did not, instead he took care of steren and wanted to escape with him. boethiah and azura both try to kill vivienne though. and molag bal thinks vivienne is vivec and should be married to him ugh. do you see why steren hates daedra.

[trickstarbrave]

wip of the cnc fic 🧍

voryn is trans in this. and again this is cnc. they are roleplaying but it will read like. SA.

Voryn had his wrists bound tightly, laid out on a torture table, unable to move. Even worse was the fact as he was strapped down his willpower was drained completely, along with his strength for good measure. He couldn’t muster up a single spell, even though he had the magicka reserves, and wouldn’t be able to cast anything until it was restored. 

He was helpless, and that fact only infuriated him. The most he could do was struggle weakly like an injured animal, gritting his teeth.

Worst of all, Voryn knew why he was here. And that reason only infuriated him more.

The door opened, Nerevar Mora waltzing in humming softly, a content grin on his face. He seemed to take great joy in how Voryn was strapped to the table and glaring at him. 

“My, isn’t this a pleasant sight…” Nerevar’s eyes roamed up and down him, taking in the view with a kind of sick want that had Voryn shuddering. 

Voryn had refused to name Nerevar as Hortator of House Dagoth, a fact that had incensed the former canvasari. Voryn saw no purpose in it--House Dagoth didn’t care about things like unity, nor did Nerevar make a convincing enough case for how a united chimer front would genuinely help them against the nords. The former canvasari told him he’d regret this decision, but Voryn had brushed him off. 

At Nerevar’s appearance though, still eying him like a hunk of meat, Voryn spat in his face. He could see the anger dart across Nerevar’s features, before he closed his eyes and exhaled, wiping it off. He then grabbed Voryn by the jaw firmly, a cold anger in his eyes. 

“Don’t make me gag you.” Nerevar warned. “It would be a shame to make me, Voryn.” 

“Don’t call me that so familiarly.” Voryn growled. At that, Nerevar laughed.

“I think you and I are about to get well acquainted with one another.” Nerevar replied with a cocky grin.

“Do you think this will get you what you want?” Voryn was still glaring, far from intimidated. “Torture will not work on me.” Though to be honest, Voryn didn’t expect Nerevar to have the delicacy for torture. You couldn’t use brute force, after all; no no, torture was an art. It took real skill, care, and patience to bend someone to your will with pain. Voryn imagined he’d give in after an hour or two and just kill Voryn, hoping the problem would go away. “And you can’t just kill me like you did with House Telvanni’s head. If I die, the position will go to one of my brothers, all of whom are loyal to me.” 

Nerevar continued smirking sadistically though, still holding his jaw. “Oh, I have no plans to kill you.” With his other hand Nerevar grabbed a dagger from his belt. Voryn tensed on instinct, before the blade was lowered to the belt and ties holding his robes closed. In an instant the delicate fabric was cut by the sharp blade, exposing his body. 

A different kind of fear ran through Voryn this time as he began to struggle more. 

“Be careful,” Nerevar’s smirk had become a maddened grin watching the terror cross Voryn’s features, “You don’t want me to cut you by accident, do you?” Just to prove a point he let the knife nick Voryn’s chest, Voryn hissing. Then, Nerevar tossed the knife onto the table nearby, leaning down to run his tongue along the small cut, ripping the fabric off the rest of the way. 

“Get off of me this instant!” Voryn growled, his face flushed red in both rage and humiliation. 

“Gods, your body is gorgeous…” Nerevar hummed again while pressing wet kisses to his skin, completely undeterred. “It’s such a shame you hide it away under such heavy robes all the damn time.” 

Voryn managed to get one of his ankles free--it seemed he wasn’t strapped down quite as well as he should have been, and took the opportunity to try and kick Nerevar right in the groin. However, Nerevar caught his leg, his hand no doubt going to leave bruises in its wake. 

“Behave.” Nerevar made direct eye contact with him again, his tone showing what a warlord he was. He was brutish, cruel, and terrible. Voryn grit his teeth, still shaking. 

It was infuriating. Infuriating, infuriating, infuriating! Was all he could do really just lay there like a helpless maiden and be assaulted? Raped by this brute who called himself Azura’s champion?!

Nerevar undid Voryn’s loincloth next, all but ripping it off him, before whistling appreciatively. He used Voryn’s free leg to spread his thighs with ease given his strength.

“Look at that…” Nerevar was gawking openly now, a pleased smirk once again on his face. “Such an attractive body…” He ran his hand down Voryn’s stomach, following the trail of hair, coaxing another shudder out of Voryn. Something was bubbling away in his stomach though, something equal parts shame and something he dare not name. 

“Oh,” Nerevar gasped softly, his fingers finally finding Voryn’s sex. “Nice and wet, aren’t you?”

The touch felt electric, his cunt aching for more. It felt like his body wasn’t listening to him, daring to get turned on by such a bastard having his way with him. He was disgusted with himself, humiliation once again kicking in as he couldn’t even control his own body. He attempted to jerk his leg away, but Nerevar held it firm.

“Stop touching me,” Voryn hissed through his teeth. “Get off me—get the fuck off me—!”

Voryn’s head fell back in a moan, his back arching as Nerevar firmly slapped his cunt, the sensation amazing on his cock. It felt good—only a slight jolt of pain that was entirely overwhelmed by the pure pleasure of the impact. His body trembled as he realized he’d moaned, eyes shut tight and gritting his teeth, even his ears red from the humiliation. 

“Filthy little masochist.” Nerevar repeated the motion again, taunting him. “Does the rest of your house know what a little whore you are?” Voryn tried to suppress the moans as Nerevar rubbed back and forth against his dick. The pressure was firm, just edging into pain again, before another slap followed.

“You’ve got such a cute cock.” Nerevar was leaning over him again, this time whispering in his ear. “Nice and hard for me, aren’t you…?”

“I’ll make you pay for this, you dog.” Voryn grit his teeth. “I’ll fucking kill yo--” Voryn was cut off with another slap to his cunt, moaning and whining from the sensation. 

“I don’t need to take that from a bitch in heat who's enjoying this.” Nerevar licked up the shell of his ear now. “So why don’t you shut that pretty little mouth of yours before I make you?”

[trickstarbrave]

the rough draft is finished. and it is. over 8500 words in length. jesus christ.

anyways i'll give tumblr a preview. i have to reread it a dozen times to proof read it before it goes to ao3 but

this is nerevar/voryn/almalexia. almalexia sees these two idiots pining and decides enough is enough, time to get them fucking. mostly nerevoryn for this reason; almalexia and nerevar are married and have sex but they arent really in love with each other. they do, however, have each other's backs and best interests at heart. oh and a side order of almalexia/vivec

also voryn is trans in this. because i can. i think its fun.

not really much of a plot. just pining and sex.

All things considered, Nerevar was quite happy with his marriage. 

Almalexia Indoril was quite a catch, he wouldn’t deny it. Not only was she incredible in battle and a delight to spar with, she was also funny, kind, and a great person to drink with. Not to mention well… 

Nerevar didn’t know if he loved her romantically. He had quite a bit of respect for her and never said no to a fun romp in the bedroom, but his heart never fluttered and raced around her. All the same, Ayem was in the exact same boat, making it clear before anything else they were political allies for life and that she didn’t care if he slept with other people or gave them his heart. And she meant it too, considering she had a whole harem to otherwise tend to her needs and had Vivec as a lover who wrote poetry about her beauty and charms and all that.

So when Almalexia asked if she could bring a third into the bedroom, Nerevar had agreed without question. It had not been the first time she’d asked, and it wouldn’t be the last. Usually it was Vivec, or someone in her harem. And, for the most part, it was usually a fun night. Ayem said it was one of her many casual flings who had agreed, but Nerevar didn’t give it much thought.

So imagine his surprise when in walked Voryn, cheeks and ears dusted red, in loose fitting robes that showed off his chest. Nerevar’s jaw was entirely slack, staring confused and equally flustered, as he quickly tried to compose himself. 

While Nerevar never got the heart racing, blood pounding, butterflies in the stomach feeling of love from Ayem, he did receive it often from Voryn. If there was one person Nerevar knew he was in love with, it was the tall, handsome lord of House Dagoth. In fact, he’d been smitten long before he was king, trying unsuccessfully to flirt with subtle hints back when he was the other’s canvasari. Of course, all of his little hints had been quickly and swiftly sidestepped, Voryn not even batting an eye. Then began the phase of his crush where he wasn’t sure if Voryn was gently rejecting him, or if he simply didn’t know. Did Voryn not want to because of the power imbalance? It was possible; they were close friends who treated each other casually rather than as a lord and guard, but Voryn might be intimately aware of the power he held over Nerevar as Nerevar’s lord and didn’t want to accidentally take advantage of him or have a conflict of interest. 

Then, when he was hortator, he tried again. Subtle hints, a light joke here and there, letting his hands linger on Voryn… Usually he could use these things to get someone into his bed with ease, but Voryn was the same as ever. He remained an impenetrable wall, either not noticing or caring, even as Nerevar admired his hands and played with his rings. Was that also a rejection? There was no power imbalance anymore but… Well, Voryn was very focused on the war, and maybe Nerevar should be as well. So he tabled his affections once again, unsure if he had been rejected or not. 

Then, Nerevar was king. Married, though the marriage was open, a fact Voryn knew. Nerevar often recounted how many Ayem took to bed, as well as a few trysts he had as well. He’d even complain about how obnoxious Vivec and Almalexia were once they entered a proper relationship, shamelessly flirting at the dinner table, and often with poetry written by Vivec so complicated Nerevar couldn’t make any sense of it but it made Ayem swoon or laugh without fail. 

And Nerevar had once again been in Kogoruhn, drinking casually with Voryn like so many times before this. Only this time he was drinking as Voryn’s equal and Resdayn was now at peace. Nerevar debated flirting once more, trying for a final time to shoot his shot. Would he be doing too much? Had Voryn in fact been trying to politely turn him down this whole time? Had he simply not noticed? Voryn didn’t strike Nerevar as the romantic type, nor had Nerevar ever seen him with any lovers. It was possible he didn’t really know how flirting usually looked…

“It’s frigid at night this time of year.” Voryn remarked, sipping his drink. “Actually, even more than previous years. The servants can’t even keep the fires stoked enough. I keep waking in the night freezing.” 

Nerevar, buzzed, decided to tease. “Y’know… It’s rarely cold when you have someone to warm your bed~” 

Voryn snorted at that. “And who, Moon and Star, would I take as a lover to warm my bed?” Voryn asked, making Nerevar nearly scream. 

“You’re the lord of House Dagoth.” Nerevar instead replied, forcing down his screams of frustration and the urge to take Voryn by those handsome, sculpted cheeks and kiss him for all he was worth. “I’m certain plenty of people would want to. For fucks sake, plenty would kill for the chance.” Nerevar knew for certain he would after all. 

“It’s easy to assume I have lovers falling into my lap due to my status,” Voryn eyed him dismissively, “And maybe that is the case for you,” Nerevar’s eyebrow twitched, as he tried very hard to keep the grip on his glass measured so he didn’t shattered it in frustration with his strength. “But you’d be mistaken.” 

“I don’t just mean your status--” Nerevar corrected, his tongue loose from the alcohol. “You’re gorgeous! You’re tall, handsome—a bit terrifying, yes--but honestly that just adds to your charms.” 

Voryn rolled his eyes, now leaning his cheek on his hand, swirling the alcohol in his glass. “No need to exaggerate, Neht.” Nerevar briefly wondered if Voryn didn’t own a mirror or something. How could he not see how attractive he was?! Sinfully painted red lips, long legs, a tall and imposing figure, ebony hair that fell in an elegant waterfall, a face sculpted by the gods… Nerevar could hardly control himself around the other chimer, yet here Voryn was saying he was exaggerating! Nerevar could have balked at the idea--he wished for a moment he was a poet like Vivec just so he could accurately describe what a gorgeous mer Voryn was. 

“I’m not exaggerating!” Nerevar insisted, one hand banging on the table between them just enough for it to be loud. “For fucks sake, even I’d be willing to climb into your bed!”

Silence then followed, Voryn staring at him bewildered and shocked. It took a few seconds for what exactly Nerevar said to sink in, and his mouth went dry. He had no intention of going so far as to just lay his feelings out on the table so boldly, and now he was sweating anxiously. Damn alcohol made him spill more than he intended once again. But--what the hell, why not? Nerevar had already tried and failed with less direct flirting. Why not just have it all out in the open? Voryn could reject him properly then; at the very least Nerevar wouldn’t be wondering for even more years if Voryn truly knew the extent of Nerevar’s feelings or not. 

So he kept his expression level, his gaze meeting Voryn’s, refusing to back down. All that was left was Voryn’s answer. 

Then, Voryn’s shocked expression cracked, the corner’s of his mouth turning up, before he quickly put his head in his hands and laughed. Hysterically, at that, nearly falling over from the sheer force of laughter. 

Ah, what else did Nerevar expect? His shoulders slumped at the rejection, before he forced a few chuckles out to save from the atmosphere getting awkward. 

“Oh Neht,” Voryn actually wiped a tear from his eye from laughing so hard, “You are too funny.” 

“Heh… Glad you think so.” Nerevar glanced away, sipping his drink. It stung like a mother fucker, of course, but it wasn’t necessarily Voryn’s fault. Voryn just found Nerevar so unattractive the idea of sleeping with him was hysterical. Okay, that made it sound worse than it actually was; likely he just thought their relationship was strictly platonic--brotherly to the point that having sex with Nerevar was just plain absurd. It wasn’t like Nerevar could demand he change his feelings and find him attractive, throw off his clothes and drag Nerevar to his bed. Maybe Voryn only liked women. Maybe he just knew Nerevar so long that the idea of romance or sex with him was awkward. 

Regardless, since then Nerevar hadn’t even bothered to flirt or inquire about Voryn’s sex life. The rejection was quick and firm--Nerevar thankful when he was sober that Voryn had only laughed rather than gotten furious with him and his drunken blunder had instead ended a lifelong friendship rather than simply embarrassed him. A bruised ego was better than losing a friendship, that was certain. If Voryn found someone that made him happy then Nerevar would give them his blessing.

Nerevar just hadn’t been expecting that the person who would eventually warm Voryn’s bed years later would be his own wife. 

But what was he going to do? Sure, he could kick up a fuss and say Voryn was off the table to bring into the bedroom, but, well… Voryn had gone along with it, hadn’t he? Ayem had invited Voryn, and Voryn--knowing full well Nerevar would be there--had agreed. Wouldn’t it just be awkward if he got upset and left right now? Voryn might think Nerevar had lingering feelings, or he’d be so insulted it would put a damper on their relationship. If Voryn was unbothered, shouldn’t Nerevar play along? 

Nerevar gave a quick glance at Ayem who flashed him a beaming smile as though nothing was the matter. He swallowed roughly, forcing himself to put on a more casual smile. 

Ayem knew she was playing with fire here, and Nerevar knew she did. She wasn’t ignorant to his feelings for the other chimer. She had made a comment that Voryn seemed to be making eyes at him while he was sparring with Vivec earlier one day, which made Nerevar now burst into laughter. He recounted exactly how he had been the one flirting with Voryn and how Voryn either ignored his passes or outright laughed him out of the room when he was more direct, so that was impossible. Maybe Voryn was just making eyes at Vivec, or a servant across the courtyard. But Voryn was not pining longingly for Nerevar, staring at him with heavy desire; if he had, that night he drunkenly confessed that he wanted to sleep with him Voryn would have taken him up on the offer. 

Nerevar did mental calculations, running through every perceived slight he might have made at Ayem to make her angry enough to do this to him. Was it because he said the last poem Vivec wrote her was nonsense? Was it because he set off one of Seht’s inventions and nearly destroyed a wall in the palace? Or was it because he ripped her favorite (and very expensive dress) a few months ago?

It was cruel, he’d give her that. Honestly, he’d prefer she just poison him or make him sleep outside in the guar pen. Or both, honestly. Whatever he had done didn’t seem worth the torture of rubbing it in his face that she was fucking Voryn and he had to keep his hands to himself. 

“Well,” Nerevar began, acting unphased to the best of his ability. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was lie and play things off. “When Ayem said she wanted to bring someone in the bedroom, I hadn’t been expecting you, Voryn.” He was trying to act casual and relaxed, despite every nerve in his body being on fire and every muscle in his body tense. He was trying very hard to keep his eyes on Voryn’s face, rather than having his gaze drift down to Voryn’s exposed chest. Already he could feel a stirring in his trousers from such a tantalizing sight; normally Voryn’s body was covered in layers of heavy fabric…

Voryn looked even more flustered at that, his ears growing more red and his brows furrowed as he glanced away. “Almalexia and I have a more… Casual relationship.” Voryn admitted. “I-it’s complicated. 

Fuck Voryn was cute like that, too flustered to even look at him, the flush spreading down even to his chest… Far cuter and more attractive than he had any right looking.

“He’s a bit of a shy lover.” Almalexia explained, her carefully manicured hand rubbing up and down his arm soothingly. “But he can be quite passionate when he really gets going.” The pointed look Almalexia gave him was just rubbing salt in the wound, and earned a twitch of Nerevar’s eyebrow that Voryn luckily missed. Nerevar was going to get his revenge for this stunt, mark his fucking words. The second this was over, he was going to think of ways to get back at her, so long as he could survive this experience without having a pining induced aneurysm. Why had Voryn even agreed to this? Ayem pressured him into it maybe? No, Voryn was usually too stubborn for that sort of thing. Gods, Nerevar hoped the two of them didn’t have a cuckolding fetish; Azura knew he wouldn’t be jealous Voryn was fucking Ayem but the other way around.

Regardless, he knew he was going to be losing a hell of a lot of his sanity tonight. Almalexia was doing Sheogorath’s work driving him fucking mad. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Nerevar asked, trying to be innocent. “If you’re too flustered you don’t have to go through with this.” Whatever game Almalexia was playing, he was hoping he could talk his way out of it. Voryn could confess to the fact she was blackmailing him or something and he could shoo Voryn off to his room to sex with Almalexia without Nerevar having to suffer through it the whole damn while. 

“I’m fine.” Voryn quickly snapped, brows furrowed more. Ah, looks like he hit a nerve then; if Voryn was very determined, trying to talk him out of it would make him enraged. 

In response, Nerevar held his hands up, laughing playfully. “Alright, alright.” Mentally though, Nerevar was swearing up a storm. He couldn’t think of any excuse to get out of this situation that wouldn’t piss both Voryn and Almalexia off, or come off like he wasn’t insulting Voryn. Instead he braced himself, mentally preparing to try and focus on his cruel, cruel wife rather than the man he was madly in love with. 

“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable, Voryn?” Almalexia offered, gesturing to the bed. His movements were stiff, but he eventually moved to sit on the plush mattress, making such a sour face you would think it were a bed of nails. Off to the side Almalexia was busy undressing and getting ready, humming softly.

Normally, this was the part where Nerevar made small talk and warmed the third party (or well, multiple parties) up. He wasn’t typically shy, ready to jump in and stroke up arms, press soft kisses, whisper dirty little things in their ears. With Voryn though he had already been rejected and was terrified of crossing that boundary again. The last time Voryn had only laughed him out of the room. This time he might not be so lucky. So instead he leaned back against the pillows, equally as awkwardly, waiting for Ayem to hurry up and tell him what to do or get this started herself. 

Finally bare and with a strap and harness in hand, she made her way to the bed.

“My,” She commented to Voryn, tossing the leader harness and toy onto the bed. “You don’t look very comfortable at all.” An astute observation, one Nerevar would have snorted under normal circumstances. “Here,” Ayem put one knee on the bed, almost straddling Voryn now as one of her hands went to the tie of his robes, the other slowly trailing down his chest. “Let me help you get comfortable then…” 

When their lips connected, Nerevar felt sparks shoot up his spine, despite not being either person actually being kissed. There was just something about the way Voryn’s eyes fluttered shut, dark lashes against his cheeks, the soft and delighted groan muffled by Ayem’s lips… Voryn even arched up into her touch, letting her slip the robe off one shoulder, before his tongue came out to tangle with hers. Almalexia’s other hand pulled on the tie slowly, almost teasingly, until the knot came undone, before she pushed Voryn onto his back and began undressing him in full. 

Azura’s fucking mercy. Nerevar felt like he could barely breathe, instead only able to give out quick pants as he watched, almost mesmerized. Ayem’s hands roamed up and down his torso, across the black hair on his chest and the trail that ran down his belly to between his legs, or occasionally letting her nails graze a nipple earning a low, delighted moan that had Nerevar’s cock twitching in delight. 

It was becoming increasingly hard to pull his attention away from Voryn the more moments that passed. All the blood was flowing from his head straight to his dick, as his earlier resolve to only focus on Almalexia crumbled. She was probably doing it on purpose too--come sunrise Nerevar was going to find an excuse to go on a pilgrimage to Azura for a few weeks or months, just as a reason to get out of the palace before he did something anger he would regret. 

“Oh~” Voryn gave a breathy, desperate moan as one of Almalexia’s hands slid between his legs, just out of sight of Nerevar, but he could tell from the sounds Ayem was fingering him nice and hard, the slick sound forcing Nerevar to bite his lip. He needed to do something, he resolved quickly. He needed to do something that didn’t involve staring at the sinfully gorgeous sight of Voryn laid out bare on the bed, moaning and panting because of someone else. So he quickly got up, removing his pants and underwear to finish undressing--his shirt having been discarded long before they started--and moved behind Almalexia to run a hand through her hair. She purred appreciatively, and Nerevar resisted the urge to look over her shoulder at the tantalizing elf writhing around beneath her. Instead, he closed his eyes, pressing a few kisses on her shoulder, his erection occasionally brushing against her thigh. 

“What should I do?” He asked her, reminding himself to breathe. 

“Lay back down on the bed, for starters.” Almalexia replied playfully. 

“Mm, and let you neglect me again?” Nerevar tried to reply back equally as playfully, but it didn’t quite make the mark. He absolutely did not want to return to laying on the bed, resorted to stroking himself off while she fucked Voryn senseless. Would it be a sight sure to get him off? Absolutely. Would it make him miserable afterwards? With certainty. 

Almalexia laughed at that, before reaching one hand around to swat at him. “I won’t neglect you, I promise.” She assured him. “I am just getting Voryn warmed up. I have a position in mind just for tonight, and it involves you.” Nerevar swallowed roughly at that, but reluctantly he let go and returned to the bed. If it involved him, he assumed Voryn gave the go ahead. Was she going to be nice tonight actually? Had she persuaded Voryn enough that Voryn was actually willing to have sex with Nerevar willingly? Fuck--if so he hoped he didn’t climax the second he got inside, that would ruin the whole night and embarrass him further. 

After a bit of gentle prodding, Voryn moved off his back, and instead climbed on top of Nerevar, hovering over him on his hands and knees. Nerevar swallowed roughly, gripping the sheets under him for dear life. Voryn’s silky black hair was brushing against him, and his gorgeous lips were so close and yet so far away. If he didn’t hold onto the fabric under him he was certain to do something stupid, like grab Voryn and kiss him for all he was worth. 

Then, with the harness on properly, Almalexia came up behind Voryn and slid inside him, Nerevar watching with eyes wide as Voryn’s face twisted in pleasure as a moan escaped his throat, rumbling in his chest and his arms trembling. Nerevar then glanced down, seeing Ayem was, in fact, fucking Voryn’s cunt. Meaning Nerevar was not going to get to fuck him like this. What was the point then of Almalexia doing it from behind on top of Nerevar then? 

Nerevar grit his teeth, hissing softly as his eyes went back up to Voryn’s pleasured face. His eyes were glazed over, lips wet as moan after moan spilled from his lips, every sound reminding Nerevar just how wet Voryn was on top of him. He could practically imagine that tight, wet heat wrapped around his cock, Voryn moaning Nerevar’s name obscenely as he pounded into him for all he was worth…

Yeah, Nerevar was definitely going to need to take a pilgrimage or he was going to destroy half the palace in a fury when this was over. What horrible sin he had committed against his darling wife was currently unknown, but it certainly wasn’t fitting of the punishment. This was cruel and unusual, even for his lovely lady of mercy.

Voryn’s hands slipped and he instead balanced himself on his elbows, his face even closer to Nerevar’s. Nerevar gasped, before he bit his lip, closing his eyes. Not that it helped much, even the air tasted like Voryn, teasing him with the knowledge he couldn’t kiss him. Couldn’t touch him, not in the way he wanted to. 

But wasn’t that awkward for him? Fuck, it’s not like he didn’t know Nerevar wasn’t into him after that slip of the tongue so many years ago. If Nerevar just laid there rock hard and eyes screwed shut that would make this even weirder somehow, wouldn’t it? He didn’t have to touch Voryn sexually, he assured himself. But ignoring him and acting like he wished he was anywhere but here (as much as it was true in the moment) might only offend Voryn.

Nerevar took a breath, before cracking his eyes open and reached up to brush some hair out of Voryn’s face that was sticking to his mouth. In turn, Voryn nuzzled against his hand appreciatively, his eyes shutting once more as he moaned louder. 

“Mmm, harder~” Voryn’s voice was gorgeous like this, so deep and erotic Nerevar could climax just listening to him, he was certain of it. 

“You’re taking it so well, Voryn.” Nerevar praised him, his voice almost breathless. Shit, was that a weird thing to say? Nerevar’s eyes darted to the dip in the middle of Voryn’s lower lip that only made it look all the more plush. 

“Keep talking to me,” Voryn panted, his eyebrows drawn up. “Please…”

Nerevar was trembling hearing that, his body aching with desire. Voryn was getting off to the sound of Nerevar’s voice, that much was clear. He was getting off to Nerevar, moaning and panting at least partially from him. And with how desperate he was, that was enough to make him burn. 

“You’re being so good, aren’t you?” Nerevar defaulted to what he usually said to Almalexia’s lovers in bed, still stroking his thumb against Voryn’s cheek. His other hand let go of the sheets, sliding down to instead take his own cock in hand, stroking. “I bet it feels so good too, doesn’t it?” Nerevar sure knew it did, albeit he had different anatomy. But Ayem was pretty skilled with the strap, able to move her hips perfectly to hit all the right spots, like she was no doubt doing to Voryn right now. 

“Yes,” Voryn hissed, before arching his back, his chest pressed against Nerevar’s. Nerevar swore he could feel Voryn’s racing heart against his chest, but in all likelihood that was just his own heart running wild. “Oh gods, Nerevar~” 

His cock twitched in delight, his head going back as he gave a long, low moan himself. He could die happily now that he heard Voryn moan his name like that, he was sure of it. 

“Why don’t you tell him just how good it feels, Voryn~?” Ayem teased behind him, before grinding her hips forward. Voryn’s eyes rolled back in delight, mouth open in a sinful moan. 

“It’s--it’s too good~” Voryn moaned, his head now falling forward to rest on the nook between Nerevar’s shoulder and neck. The hot breath against his sensitive skin had him hissing and groaning, stroking himself off faster. “I--I’m so full, so full, it’s so--” 

“Fuck,” Nerevar moaned breathlessly, eyes screwed shut. His neck was too sensitive for this--Voryn’s lips were right there, every puff of hot air making him nearly shiver and keen with delight. This was worse than the time Ayem was edging him--a hundred times worse. 

“Don’t just lay there, Neht.” Nerevar could see Almalexia smirking over Voryn’s shoulder. “Touch him.” She goaded him on, making Nerevar tense up. “I’ve got my hands full holding his hips up, but his cock is nice and hard, begging for some attention.” 

Nerevar’s hand was moving on its own, as though possessed. The second she offered and Voryn didn’t correct her, his body was moving of its own accord now, leaving his cock to instead slip between Voryn’s thighs. 

He was wet. By the three, he was soaked, dripping on Nerevar’s fingers as his hips rocked from the power of Almalexia’s thrusting. After being briefly stunned with the desire to throw Almalexia off Voryn and fuck him for all he was worth, his fingers slid down to rub back and forth firmly across his dick, making Voryn moan louder, rocking his hips against his hand. 

“Nerevar~!” He was moaning so loudly into Nerevar’s neck, his own cock twitching with every cry of his name. “Nerevar--Neht--I need--Oh gods~!!” 

“That’s it,” Nerevar praised him. “Good boy, Voryn~” Nerevar was panting himself, praying to every god he didn’t come untouched. “Fuck, you’re so hard for me, nice and hard for me, so fucking wet too~” Nerevar was just babbling now, unable to think before speaking anymore. “Azura’s mercy, I want to suck your cock so badly,” Voryn moaned louder at that, “Eat you out properly, before fucking you nice and hard until you’re screaming my name~” 

Maybe, the second the passion died out and they were left awkwardly laying on the bed awkwards, he would regret saying all this. But at the moment he didn’t one bit. He couldn’t hold back in the slightest, praises and desires spilling from his mouth like a fountain. 

Luckily, it seemed all his clumsy dirty talk and touching had actually made Voryn climax. Maybe it was actually Ayem doing it, but Nerevar was more than happy to imagine it was all because of him. Voryn moaned and shuddered and even teared up a little, before he slumped onto Nerevar completely. 

Fuck, he wanted to be inside Voryn still. Should he wait until Voryn caught his breath to ask? Nerevar was content to wait at least a few moments, holding Voryn close, savoring the skin on skin contact as Voryn panted breathlessly, completely dazed from pleasure. 

And then unluckily for Nerevar, Ayem gingerly rolled Voryn over onto his back, off of Nerevar who was enjoying their little almost-embrace. Nerevar bared his teeth, snarling in a rage at such an offense, before Almalexia straddled his chest, tugging on his hair with the strap in his face. 

“Don’t growl at me you mangy little hound, or I’ll put a muzzle on you.” Normally Nerevar found such banter funny, charming, and a little bit sexy, but right now he had half a mind to throw her off him to fuck Voryn senseless. “Clean this up for me, won’t you? Then I’ll tend to your cock, Hortator.” 

He eyed the toy carefully, his mouth watering slightly. It was dwarven crafted and made from ebony, specially commissioned by Almalexia--part of a larger collection she had custom made, in fact. Honestly, Nerevar thought their underground cousins would be prudes given how dry their humor and conversation was at times, but they sure surprised him when he saw how many tools of pleasure they had personally invented. Things that vibrated, constructions that could fuck you themselves, along with so much more--some of which that scared him, honestly. 

But right now it was still wet from having just been inside Voryn--wet, warm, a complete mess… Now that Voryn wasn’t currently on top of him moaning, he realized he might not actually get the chance to go down on him like he wanted to. This was Almalexia’s consolation prize, he supposed. 

Whatever then. Nerevar reached around, grabbing her by the ass to tug her a bit closer, listening to the high pitched sound that followed. He licked at the tip first like he was blowing someone, knowing she enjoyed the show, before sliding his tongue down the side, down to the base where it was the messiest. Gods dammit, tasting Voryn’s cunt on a piece of coated ebony should not be turning him on as much as it was. Yet, he couldn’t seem to help himself, moaning softly as he made sure to clean the toy thoroughly, savoring the taste. He was going to try his damnest to commit it to memory, knowing full well he might never get a chance for this again. And he was going to use that memory many, many times. It wouldn’t be enough to make it all up to Nerevar, but it was a start.

After it was mostly clean, just to be a showboat, he moved back up to the tip, sliding his lips down to suck. Honestly, he did like using his mouth. As Almalexia (and several others) put it, his tongue was even better in the bedroom than it was in the council chambers. Not to mention he enjoyed the weight on his tongue, bobbing his head up and down, sucking messily and obscenely just because he could. 

“Good boy.” Almalexia praised him, now gripping his hair to guide his mouth off it. “I suppose I won’t have to put a muzzle on you after all~” Nerevar licked his lips, looking up at her while his cock continued to throb. Normally this was the part where Almalexia took the strap off and started riding him to make it all worthwhile now that she had her fun. And that’s what he thought was going to happen as she climbed off him, undoing the leather and tossing the harness to the side. However she then laid down beside Voryn, pulling one of Voryn’s legs up and to the side, and Nerevar felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him. 

“Clean Voryn up next?” Almalexia offered, sliding another hand down to spread him open. Voryn was still slightly breathless, looking at Nerevar wantonly. 

Nerevar didn’t need to be asked twice. He was quickly moving, sitting up to move Voryn’s legs up and open, tossing one over his shoulder, before diving in. 

Gods dammit all, tasting Voryn directly was even better. He loved every moan and whimper and cry of his name that fell out of Voryn’s mouth as he feasted like a man starved. He lapped at his lips first, moaning, before flicking his tongue back and forth across his dick. Voryn couldn’t even squirm his hips as Nerevar held him firmly, but he did grab Nerevar by the hair, trying to pull him ever closer.

“Neht~!!” Voryn was all but screaming now as he sucked around his swollen cock, flicking his tongue against the bud. His own eyes had rolled back slightly as he let Voryn grind against his face, using Nerevar’s mouth for his own pleasure. By Mephala, the fact Voryn was doing that had his own cock twitching again, dripping precum. He wanted to be inside Voryn so fucking badly he was going insane, but he needed to make Voryn climax first. He had to, not for any logical reason, just out of pure ego. He needed to make sure Voryn was cumming at least once only because of Nerevar—and while Ayem was nice enough to have him eat Voryn out, he didn’t trust that she’d actually let him fuck Voryn with how cruel she was earlier.

He slid down slightly from Voryn’s dick until he could flick his tongue inside Voryn, groaning softly the whole while as he made sure to clean him up—or tried to, anyway. Voryn was so wet Nerevar felt like he was hardly doing anything other than getting his own face dirty. He felt like he was eating an overripe persimmon; licking and sucking, sweet nectar running down his chin as he devoured it greedily, ignoring the mess it made all over his face and hands.

Back up at his cock, Nerevar teased around it now, swirling around it with just a light enough pressure it left him begging and pleading for more. If he wasn’t so busy with his mouth he would have gloated at that, honestly. That, or dirty talked Voryn to an orgasm again--made him whimper and moan at how good Nerevar felt, made him beg Nerevar to let him cum.

Nerevar could feel every tremble with every touch, the way Voryn’s thighs quivered in pleasure as he flicked his tongue against his dick, finding a rhythm Voryn liked. The heat pressed to his lips and the smell of his arousal was intoxicating, making him lose track of all other thoughts. He forgot entirely about Almalexia in this situation, about his throne, about all the times Voryn rejected him--including the one where Voryn laughed until he cried at Nerevar’s insistence that he wanted to bed the lord of House Dagoth. Instead, it felt like all he’s ever wanted in life was to be right here, between Voryn’s legs. Right here, listening to him moan and cry and sing Nerevar’s name with that gorgeous, deep and gravelly voice of his.

“Oh gods~!” Voryn moaned, his nails digging into Nerevar’s scalp, “Neht--” He gasped, desperately trying to breathe, and Nerevar could swear Voryn was sobbing in pleasure. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming, Neht--Nerevar ple--Ah~!!” Voryn was hissing and trembling more as Nerevar focused in, purposefully trying to drive him over the edge now. He didn’t bother switching things up like he did when he was trying to let it build; he kept the pace steady, not moving any slower or faster, keeping it just right until Voryn gripped him tighter and tighter, thighs pressed to Nerevar’s ears until all he could hear was muffled moaning and his own blood pumping through his ears and--

It was a loud, drawn out scream as Voryn came, the ending being choked out with sobs. After Voryn’s orgasm washed over him, Nerevar made sure he helped him ride it out with softer, gentler movements, winding him down from the peak. Voryn’s grip on his hair went slack as he laid there, boneless and panting. Nerevar finally pulled away, a bit reluctantly, wiping his face and licking his lips as he did so to take in the most sinfully gorgeous sight he has ever seen: 

Voryn was splayed out on the bed, long hair fanned out around him and no doubt starting to tangle from all the thrashing. Tears had escaped his eyes, leaving a few trails down his cheeks. His lips were wet and swollen from all the biting and moaning he had been doing, only adding to his allure further. By the three, Nerevar was surprised he didn’t come untouched just from the sight. 

“Go on,” Almalexia touched his shoulder, making him jump slightly, “Touch him.” She encouraged. He was hesitant at first still, overwhelmed by the tantalizing sight, but slowly his hands moved out to touch. He was light at first, slowly trailing one hand up his thigh, the other moving up Voryn’s stomach to his chest. 

“Azura’s mercy…” Nerevar breathed, his mouth feeling dry. Once again, Nerevar wishes he was a poet like Vivec; he lacked the words to describe how… Perfect Voryn looked, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes, humming softly and arching up into his touch. He wanted to memorize every inch of his skin: the dip below his ribs as his back arched, the occasional freckle or mole he found on his golden skin, the slight angular curve of his hips, the scars under his pectorals… 

He didn’t want to just touch, he wanted to kiss him, trail his lips across his body, taste the salt on his skin and leave him covered in marks. He moved down slowly, still ready to be refused and told off, to place a few soft kisses on his collarbone. 

“Gorgeous…” Nerevar breathed against his skin. “Fucking gorgeous…” He was Azura’s champion, but despite how sacreligious it was, right in this moment Voryn was far more beautiful than his Lady of Twilight. He was as glorious as the sun, to the point Nerevar was shocked he wasn’t blinded just by looking at him. He was dazzling, leaving Nerevar fucking awe-struck as he trailed kisses and love bites across that golden flesh, all but worshipping the perfect elf under him. 

Then, Voryn wrapped a leg around Nerevar’s hips, pulling him in closer, his cock pressed against Voryn’s thigh. It twitched at the contact, dribbling more precum across his skin as Nerevar moaned low and deep in the back of his throat. 

“Make love to me, Neht…” Voryn breathed against him as he wrapped his arms around Nerevar’s shoulders, and Nerevar felt his whole world spin briefly, before every logical thought entirely left his head. 

He pressed a messy, desperate kiss to Voryn’s lips as he moved Voryn’s legs with haste, careful not to hurt him in the process as he maneuvered them into a proper position. Gods, how had he not kissed Voryn before now? He should have been when Voryn was on top of him, twinging their tongues together just like this, exploring Voryn’s mouth in full while he moaned and begged. He should have kissed him even before this night; he should have kissed him in the firelight on that trip back from Tear in the south, with all the stars lit up in the night sky, the moons measly slivers like a cat with it’s eyes barely cracked open. The night he realized he loved Voryn, he wanted so badly to kiss him just like this, to lay the young lord out on his bedroll and make sweet, sweet love to him under the moons and stars, whispering about how much he loved him. 

“Voryn,” He whispered against the other’s lips like a prayer as he positioned himself, the wet heat kissing the head of his cock.

“Neht,” Voryn whispered back, the sweetest sound to Nerevar’s ears, as he finally slid inside. 

The feeling was incomparable. His body felt like static in the best possible way, warm and fuzzy, buzzing with excitement. As cliche as it was, it felt like everything in the world fell into place the moment he slid inside Voryn, like this was where he belonged. Every moment of longing for the other chimer, every heart racing fight to the death he made it out of, every battle won and the war ended, all of it felt like it was just leading him to this; this moment where he got to have the love of his life, the man he needed more than anything. The moment he got to make love to Voryn, sweet, perfect, terrifying Voryn who held Nerevar’s heart in his hands for so many gods damn years. 

“I love you,” He mumbled, clumsily. To oblivion with logical thought, let this ruin their friendship. Let this ruin his whole damn life as a matter of fact; the common folk could come marching to demand his head on a pike, his advisors could stage a coup and murder him on his throne, the troubles rain hellfire down on all of Resdayn--anything. He would suffer any punishment just for this moment, to look into Voryn’s eyes and tell him just how much he loved him while taking his body. In a way, Voryn had a right to know; it was wrong for Nerevar not to confess at this moment, not when it felt like every little thread of fate Mephala ever wove was leading him right to this moment. “I love you, Voryn~”

Voryn’s grip on him was tighter, a few tears spilling from his eyes, before he took him by the cheeks and kissed him over and over with a fervent desperation. 

“I love you, Neht,” Voryn whispered back, just as Nerevar began thrusting. Oh gods, Voryn felt better than he ever imagined, and he had imagined it so many times before. So many nights as a guard he would be up pleasuring himself, then as a soldier fantasizing about the young lord’s body, and even as king. Many times he would have to sleep with someone on his quest to become hortator--for, well, political reasons--he would be imagining it was Voryn under him, taking him just like this. Yet never, in all of his sweetest fantasies, did he ever imagine it this sublime. Voryn was so wet he took every inch with ease, Nerevar’s hips unable to hold still as he marveled at the slick, wet heat enveloping him. 

And Voryn loved him back. Voryn, at least at this moment, loved him. Loved Nerevar. Nerevar didn’t even care if it was a lie spilling from his lips, it was more than enough. If it was a lie, it was the most beautiful lie he ever heard, one he desperately needed to believe. 

“There it is.” Almalexia laughed to the side, laying out on the bed, watching the two chimer make love with the kind of raw intensity she scarcely saw. 

In all honesty, this had been her plan from the beginning. At first she thought Nerevar was the one who didn’t want a relationship; he never inquired about Voryn’s love life and acted stiff and awkward at the prospect of him ever taking a lover, side-stepping the question entirely. Meanwhile, Voryn had ended up in her bed after a night of drinking, desperate and jealous, begging to taste Nerevar on her lips and breathe in his scent on her sheets. The hate-sex had been enjoyable, at least for a time, regardless of how wrong it probably was to be fanning the flames of his desires and only making his one sided pining worse. 

But then she teased Nerevar at the pointed looks Voryn had giving him, longing stares of pure, unbridled desire as Nerevar and Vivec exchanged spears shirtless and sweating in the courtyard, the unrelenting heat of the sun during the height of summer in Mournhold making the two pour sweat. She could practically hear Voryn’s thoughts, how he would kill just to swipe his tongue across her husband’s flesh, how he would destroy the entire kingdom just to pin him to the ground and ride his cock until the time itself ceased to be. It was humorous to think her darling husband was so clueless to his closest friend’s desires. And he laughed, shooting her down, but there was something broken in his laugh instead of the usual mirth. That same, agonizing longing flashed in his eyes as he dismissed her claims, saying he was surely ogling Vivec, or maybe even a servant across the courtyard. Almalexia, faithful and kind as she ever was, prodded him more, and Nerevar confessed that he was the one who was pining. 

“I’ve given up though. He turned me down enough times that I’d be horrible to try again.” He admitted, drinking his sujamma a little too quickly now like he was trying to drown out his sorrows. Almalexia’s jaw went slack as she heard that; she knew for a fact Voryn would never turn down Nerevar’s advances. He was so desperate for Nerevar he was content with sloppy seconds in the thought that was the closest he would ever get to fucking Nerevar. “Whoever he takes as a lover or spouse will be one lucky bastard though, that’s all I can say.”

“When exactly did you come onto him?” She asked, confused. Nerevar glanced away, ashamed.

“I’ve been flirting with him since I was his canvasari.” He admitted, unable to meet her eyes. “Even as a soldier and hortator, I was trying. Laying on the compliments, playing with his hands, asking to see him undressed…” Another long swig followed, it clear to her now he was trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol now rather than think of how much it was killing him. “Then shortly after I took the throne. He knew our marriage was open, and I teased him about how he should find a lover to keep his bed warm if nights in Kogoruhn are too cold…” He looked far off into the distance, out the window to the stars. “And, drunken idiot I was, I told him even I would warm his bed for him if he asked.” 

“And he rejected you?” 

“He laughed at me.” Nerevar’s face was red hot in embarrassment. “Hysterically, in fact. Right in my face.” Almalexia winced audibly. She couldn’t imagine what a blow to Nerevar’s pride it was, to drunkenly confess after decades of pining, only to be laughed at by the man you loved. If it had been Ayem, she would have had the mer hung for such an offense. “It’s… Fine though.” Nerevar shrugged. “It’s been years. He probably just sees me as another brother of his. I’m lucky all I got was laughed at instead of something worse.” 

It was clear though, something had to be done. Voryn had made a critical mistake not immediately taking him seriously and throwing Nerevar to his bed that winter night, but what was she going to do? Let the two of them pine for each other, too scared to confess? Voryn thought Nerevar would never love him so there was no point in a confession, and Nerevar had been laughed out of the room when he tried to by his idiotic advisor. It was going to take a third party to let them throw off their insecurities and realize the other wanted them just as badly. 

She didn’t know how to. But Vivec, her clever lover, did. 

“Have them fuck it out.” Vivec suggested, snacking on saltrice crackers while writing another poem. 

“What?” She stared at him like he grew two heads. “That will never work.” How was she even going to get them in bed together? Lock them in a room naked? They’d just sit there stiff and uncomfortable, refusing for days on end lest they offend the other party. This was a serious problem, after all, not some new crush, but a lifetime of repressed feelings on both their parts. 

“Yes it will.” Vivec insisted. “Find a reason to get them started, and they will be drawn to one another.” Another crunch followed as he devoured another cracker. “I’ve seen the looks they give each other when no one else is looking. Once the walls they’ve built start crumbling down, they won’t be able to control themselves.”

She didn’t think it would work, in all honesty. Even as she was arranging the little ménage à trois, she was certain she was going to be the one doing all the hard work while the two of them laid there stiff and awkwardly. By the three, even as they started she was certain that was going to be how it went, as she prodded Nerevar to actually touch the chimer writhing on top of him rather than lay there like he was going to be butchered alive. 

But, like her warrior-poet said, once the walls started coming down the two couldn’t seem to help themselves. Voryn fell first, moaning and begging and pleading, though he was nervous to cross an invisible line with Nerevar he couldn’t perceive. Nerevar, meanwhile, took a lot longer to finally come around but once he did he was as ravenous as a starved nix-hound. Growling, snarling, fury in his eyes when she took Voryn from him like he could have ripped out her heart and eaten it. Honestly, she thought he might start actually fighting her, wrestling her off him just so he could fuck Voryn like an animal. 

And now the two were making hot, passionate love like they were the only two people in the world, moaning and kissing, whispering confessions of love and how much they needed the other to the point it was almost dizzying. She couldn’t believe that just a few months ago the two could scarcely meet each other's eyes at a party. Now she’d be lucky if she could get Nerevar in her bed at all after this, she imagined. 

With a chuckle, she left the two lovers to enjoy themselves, putting on a robe before she retreated to Vivec’s room for the evening. 

--

When morning came, after a lengthy cuddle session with her warrior-poet curled up on her bosom, she returned to the pleasure room. Before Almalexia had even knocked she heard the sounds of moans and pleas escaping, as well as the bed creaking. 

She opened the door, taking in the sight with an amused grin. Voryn was wearing one of her harnesses, pounding into Nerevar for all he was worth. And there, sprawled out under the lord of House Dagoth, was the king of Resdaynia gripping the sheets and moaning like a whore. 

“Have the two of you been going at it all night?” She asked, one brow raised. Voryn glanced up at her briefly, his thrusting slowing, but all that earned him was a needy moan from the hortator who shifted his hips, trying to grind down on the strap. 

“Oh--Ayem,” Voryn took one of Nerevar’s muscular thighs and pushed it up higher to get deeper inside him, resuming his thrusting as Nerevar’s voice got louder, his eyes rolling back. Voryn’s other hand was stroking the king’s cock, precum dribbling out onto his belly and smearing across Voryn’s hand. “No we--we slept,” Voryn admitted, before grinding his hips forward--and the toy directly into Nerevar’s prostate if his moans and cries were anything to go off of. “Neht just wanted me to take him this morning,” Voryn leaned down at that, closer to him to speak to him directly. “Fuck you nice and hard, right Moon and Star?” 

“Yes~!!” Nerevar cried, clawing at the sheets, “Voryn!” 

“Be careful, he’s as wild as an animal when he’s turned on.” Almalexia warned him with another laugh, though she was happy to see Nerevar enjoying himself so much. 

“I’m aware.” Voryn huffed, breathless from how fast his hips were moving. “Wild like a bitch in heat, aren’t you Nerevar?” Almalexia whistled slightly at that; it didn’t take long at all for Voryn to learn Nerevar was into being degraded, now did it? How on Nirn they went this long without fucking was beyond her at this point. 

“Yes yes yes!” Nerevar cried out enthusiastically. “Oh gods, fuck fuck fuck~! Voryn~!!” 

With one last laugh, she went to shut the door. “Get cleaned up in time for lunch, you two.” They’d all missed breakfast already, and she knew how fussy Nerevar got when he was hungry. Not to mention the mess of the kitchens he’d make when he inevitably got hungry. Besides, she imagined they would need the energy for the rest of Voryn’s stay in Mournhold. 

[trickstarbrave]

Me: time for bed :)

Brain: childhood friends Nerevar and Voryn but Nerevar realizes he’s trans and doesn’t know how to say it or really what he’s feeling even means until the dysphoria gets bad but then Voryn comforts him and reassures him and promises to get an alteration mage in immediately so Nerevar feels happy again

Me:

Me: now I’m sad I can’t write rn >:(

[trickstarbrave]

heyyyy im making a pinned post as that is a feature and seems good to keep info all in one place esp for ppl on mobile

❤️im brave!! or rua works if u want to but brave is by far the most popular name i go by. he/him pronouns

❤️art commissions/art trades are NOT on the table rn sadly. i used to offer commissions and did art trades with friends but for the most part im really busy with work/health conditions. if i have a bit of free time i may change this or make a few exceptions on a case by case basis depending on my schedule. for the most part tho i just want my art to be a stress relief activity

❤️art requests i do take from time to time now, but there is no guaranty i will take it. please do not spam requests hoping i’ll do it and please do not get mad if i don’t do it. they’re requests for a reason. if i am particularly inspired i’ll be happy to get around to it if life lets me

❤️technically multifandom blog i would say, mostly i have been focused on the elder scrolls series lately. you will probably see me rb stuff from like, a bunch of series. if this changes i’ll prob edit this post LMAO (i do not control the special interest)

❤️not just an art blog but also personal. my art can be found in my #my art tag. wips can sometimes be found scattered on my twitter if they arent on here. and writing that i publish can be found on my ao3 (though i have like a million wips that dont get published and be warned much of my ao3 is rated E and not for everyone)

❤️ been doing a lot of oc posting so i can do a run down of them currently for anyone that wants to follow along/know the lore:

/// OCS ///

(under cut)

🌟 Eyja: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, she/her. past life incarnation was konahrik, alduin’s head priest, murdered by miraak. uses a bow and magic primarily. story can be found here

🌟 Senna: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, she/her. proud two handed weapon user and leader of the companions. fought and lost to the world eater who took her back to his den and make her his partner. proof prophecy can be a complicated thing. story can be found here.

🌟 Baldur: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, he/him. grew up on the streets stealing to survive, and certified trans of gender. fought and lost to the world eater who decided to force baldur to be his champion. helps him take over skyrim. story not yet published but will prob contain a lot of mentions of transphobia as a cw :(

🌟 Ansa: skyrim oc, nord dragonborn, she/her. orphaned at a young age, and just a weird, feral child. learned to steal, and ended up joining the thieves guild. killed mercer and turned the guild over to karliah and is helping rebuild it when she finds a weird rock that turns out to be a dragon egg. story not yet published

🌟 Ahkrinaak: general elder scrolls oc, he/him/any pronouns. he is based off me as a sort of self insert/persona character purely for comedy, not a serious au. dragon/god who was corrupted in the war with lorkhan/shor and became more so an agent of lorkhan. he spends most of his time pretending to be a mortal and causing problems. he’s just sillay. looks like a falmer/snow elf and nord hybrid making pretty much everyone just in general uncomfortable. dragons dont have gender he just likes tits. divorced with alduin

🌟 Lyre: not a skyrim oc (yet) but my beloved dnd character i have made a million aus for, including one that has turned into a full on novel lmao. will update everyone when i start uploading the novel (its not gonna be too serious just a fun lil webnovel that is pg rate) and you can see me post illustrations for. depending on the AU uses either he/him or she/her. i just think theyre neat

🌟 Anthial: nerevarine bosmer, tired, angry, nb spellsword. he/them pronouns. just wants to cover their entire body until you cant tell what gender they are. vivec never got them the drink he owed them. was convinced as nerevar that voryn never liked them back all that much. had an open marriage with almalexia. this incarnation was emotionless and lacked a moral compass due to the betrayal in their past life.

🌟 Steren: nerevarine, technically. not actually the reincarnation of nerevar, but the reincarnation of nerevar’s son. nerevar never reincarnated bc he was too busy haunting his descendants, too upset to move on. steren has a couple of aus but mostly its him with vivienne the dragonborn who belongs to @mulberrycafe. calls voryn “ata” and nerevar “dad” because he technically grew up in cyrodiil but remembers his first lifetime in bits and pieces where voryn raised him for the first few years.

feel free to send asks abt my ocs i love answering them

[trickstarbrave]

So, I'm sick and stuck in bed for the day, and bored. And I was thinking :

About Steren, or more specifically Steren's-Dad-Nerevar. He was a trans man, that's how he and Voryn managed to have a child. And in the first story of Steren in Vivienne's au you posted, Azura says that Nerevar and Voryn's soul from Steren's world wish to join and like, merge with the Neht and Ryn from this world, right ? That's how they get memories.

SO, if it is the same in the au you're currently writing, I cant help but picture Nerevar having meltdowns and crying and wanting his son back. And then just as randomly, as he undresses before going to sleep, he's just. "Wow I love my body. Wait, what...?" Because inside him there's a remnant of that other version of him who is crying for Steren too, but also sometimes just gets "Damn that's our body ?! FUCK YEAH it's all I ever dreamt of! How did you get it-you were BORN with it ?! You lucky bastard !"

the way i see trans people in dunmer culture (and this is like. entirely headcanon you could argue against it) is that trans people are seen as religiously and culturally important. boethiah and mephala don't have set genders and can present as male or female or any other weird combination and really play around with sex and gender as concepts. there is also a heavy focus on life being a trial to overcome and being trans does introduce a lot of difficulties in life like dysphoria and having to use magic to present how you want to, as well as i think some degree of social policing (we do know there is sexism in dunmer society to a degree. along with that one telvanni mage who is so anti-misogyny she just became a full blown misandrist who thinks its hilarious the 'beloved masculine hero nerevar is a woman')

so steren's-dad-nerevar is actually quite proud of being trans. having to realize it, flesh sculpting to get the body he wanted, "proving" himself to be a man. he's just mad those parts of him got lost to history in the historical revisionism the tribunal pumped out en mass.

also steren's-dad-nerevar never really had much bottom dysphoria--i never really write trans nerevar having it. i know its a common experience and completely valid for a lot of people to experience but i personally didn't have it much so im just writing what i know in that sense. i've actually also thought about how he'd feel being in vivi-au-nerevar's body and i think while its normally fine he sometimes does just. get kinda surprised like "OH. i have a penis. right." he's pretty alright with it all things considered but i think sometimes the steren's-dad-nerevar parts come out more strongly than usual kinda missing the cool top surgery scars he had and having a vagina at times (though he doesn't miss. anything to do with menstruation in the slightest. LMAOOOO)

i think it's ultimately for the best nerevar have a dick in this universe though. or else steren would have. a LOT of siblings by now. it spares me from having to make 500 fucking ocs.

its different for him i'll say that. sometimes he really likes being in a basically "cisgender" body but sometimes he kinda misses the body he worked for and cultivated himself. which has gotta be a weird experience for vivi's nerevar who is mostly cis i think just randomly being hit with thoughts of "i kinda miss my old trans body". 4D chess of gender feelings

[trickstarbrave]

i havent proofread this. i just wrote whatever my little heart wanted

heres some childhood friends voryn and nerevar with trans nerevar

slight romance but theyre like. 10-14/15 in this (in human years???? elves are weird) so. its nothing more than little kisses.

also used she/her pronouns until voryn would know differently. bc its mostly from his perspective

The first time Voryn saw Nerevar, he knew Nerevar was someone special. Short, fluffy white hair, bright blue eyes, and a devilish grin had Voryn wanting to be closer and closer to the strange elf. 

In all honesty, he thought Nerevar was a boy when they first met. She had that sort of boyish charm, that mischievous look. The name didn’t help either--it wasn’t distinctly feminine or masculine. Not to mention the way she carried herself, the dirt under her nails, and the wooden sword on her belt all screamed “boy”. 

The day they first played together it was warmer than usual. Typically in Kogoruhn the wind carried the cold air from the sea of ghosts inward and gave it a pleasant, cool breeze even in summer. But instead the wind carried the heat from Red Mountain down, making it hot under the blazing sun. Annoyed, Voryn eventually discarded his shirt before picking up the large branch to continue play-sword fighting with Nerevar, and soon after Nerevar did the same. They were about to head back into town when they were both thirsty and their shoulders were just turning red, when a familiar man came out into the ash, a glare on his face. He recognized the man by his pale hair--Nerevar’s uncle. 

“Young lady--” Nelvon Mora snapped, partially covering Nerevar’s body with his ash cloak. “Where is your shirt?!” He was clearly furious, only confusing Voryn more. Nerevar wasn’t a girl--or if she was, Voryn didn’t see what the problem was. It was hot outside, way too warm to be playing around with a shirt on. When his mother took him to Mournhold lots of children played shirtless in the city, running around carefree. 

“It’s in my bag.” Nerevar replied, before her uncle dug it out and started wrestling her back in it. “It’s hot--!” Nerevar began fussing, only to get a firm tug on the ear making her yelp. 

“You’re a young lady now, you can’t be running around without a shirt on no matter how warm it gets.” Nelvon looked annoyed and disgruntled. 

“I said she could.” Voryn spoke up, trying to defend his friend. “I did it first.” 

Nerevar’s uncle looked his way, before sighing, still keeping a tight grip on Nerevar’s arm. “I understand, young lord,” Nelvon began, “But you’re a young man. What might be appropriate to you isn’t appropriate for a young lady.” 

Voryn didn’t understand what that even meant. If Nerevar was a girl, what did it matter? Why was Voryn allowed to not wear a shirt because he was a boy, but Nerevar wasn’t? 

He’d asked his mother afterwards why Nerevar was in trouble for it. His mother only sighed, sitting him on her lap. 

“You and Nerevar are nearly at the age your bodies start changing and you begin to grow into adults.” Voryn cocked an eyebrow, confused. “The two of you will grow in different ways, and her uncle just doesn’t want her in the habit by the time the changes start.” 

Voryn was still a bit too young to understand, but he nodded his head and didn’t question any further for the time being. From that day on though, Nerevar was given linen and cotton shirts that breathed easier or wrap tops that left her arms exposed. Yet, she seemed more self conscious about them as they were distinctly more feminine. 

--

As they got older, Voryn became interested in romance. He slunk around the library when he had time to himself, pulling the few romance novels off the shelves, reading in the corner. He liked the way they described fluttery feelings, held hands, and professed their love. He liked it more so when it was two men who fell in love, usually in times of war or battle, exchanging blows to measure their hearts. 

Voryn really only saw himself kissing and holding hands with another boy, when he fantasized about it. Heirs were supposed to get married and have kids, but the idea of a wife never really appealed to him. He didn’t find himself attracted to the poetic descriptions of princesses in long, flowing dresses and snake-like smiles. He much preferred the raw strength of the warrior-heroes and their rugged looks. Besides, he found it easier to get along with boys, why wouldn’t he want to kiss them too? 

Well, there was one exception. His heart always fluttered when he thought about kissing Nerevar, but… Nerevar was different. She wasn’t delicate and feminine, but just as boyish as Voryn. Hell, Nerevar was more boyish than Voryn in many ways, preferring the sword and physical activity, enjoying nothing more than wrestling in the ash and mud with the boys. 

“What are you doing?” Nerevar was suddenly at his shoulder while he was deep in thought, causing him to jump and drop his book. Nerevar snickered as he rolled his eyes. 

“You’re going to make me lose my place…” He groaned, picking the book back up and trying to get to the previous spot he was at. Nerevar wrapped her arms around his shoulders, practically hanging off him as he flipped through the pages. 

“What are you reading?” She asked. Nerevar had learned to read shockingly fast. Her eyes flicked across the words as he skimmed as well, looking for the page he was on. 

“It’s a novel about a war between two clans.” Voryn explained. “The main characters are two men who were friends before the fighting broke out and decide to work together to stop it.” Voryn finally found the spot he was at, where the two characters finally confessed, kissing one another in the rain. 

“... Two boys can kiss?” Nerevar asked quietly, her eyes wife as though marveling with the revelation. 

“... Yeah.” Voryn answered back, his cheeks feeling warm. “Araynys has a boyfriend. And there’s lots of stories like this.”

“Can I read with you?” She asked, and when Voryn nodded his head she got comfortable leaning against him, now just resting her head on his shoulder as they read in silence. 

--

Nerevar’s uncle left her at Kogoruhn. When he asked Nerevar about it, she just shrugged, looking indifferent. It was supposed to be a good opportunity for Nerevar; here she could get a good education and find a good job or husband. At that comment though Nerevar would glare and roll her eyes, proudly declaring she’d never get married. 

With her uncle now gone she could cut her hair shorter, at least, something she seemed to really enjoy. With short, choppy hair she looked a lot happier, smiling as bright as the sun. 

They’d just finished playing with some of the other children in town and the stronghold. They said they wanted to play a game of capture the princess, but Nerevar, despite being the only girl, refused the role of “princess”. Instead she volunteered Voryn, who was now grumpily sitting in her lap after she spent most of the game running around with him in her arms. 

“You always make me the princess…” Voryn grumbled, annoyed. They were just about to be teenagers and here Nerevar was still bossing him around.

“But you’re cute like a princess.” She teased, still with that wolfish grin that made Voryn’s heart race. “Besides, how are you going to pick me up and carry me? It’s way easier for me to carry you.” Voryn rolled his eyes, messing up her hair with his hand, making her laugh more. 

“You’re even cuter when your face is red--” She continued, and Voryn glared.

“Shut up.” Voryn could feel his face and ears turning an even brighter shade of red. 

“Cute~” Nerevar teased, poking his cheek, and Voryn huffed. 

“You’re cute too.” Voryn looked away, still flustered. At that, Nerevar got offended. 

“I am not!” 

“How am I cute but you aren’t?” Voryn replied, indignant. 

“Because I’m not!” Nerevar glared, and Voryn could tell it wasn’t a playful glare. She was actually mad. “I don’t want to be cute!” 

Voryn didn’t know why she was mad. Why was it okay to call him cute, but not the other way around? 

“Well you’re not ugly,” Voryn scoffed, “What else am I supposed to call you?”

“... I don’t know…” Nerevar’s voice went quiet, her ears drooping slightly. 

“... Handsome?” Voryn offered, and Nerevar’s ears perked up again, her cheeks turning red slightly as she looked away. After a moment, she nodded slowly, as if unsure, her hands playing with the hem of Voryn’s shirt. 

There was tension in the air again, as was so often the case with the two of them lately. A fluttering feeling came in Voryn’s stomach as he leaned closer. “Doesn’t the princess usually kiss the warrior who rescued her…?” Voryn offered, and Nerevar’s face turned even redder. She nodded again, closing her eyes. 

Voryn leaned in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to Nerevar’s cheek. Nerevar’s arms tightened around him, as Nerevar then turned and returned the favor, kissing Voryn on the cheek in return. 

--

Voryn hadn’t seen Nerevar in three days. Whenever he came by her room, she either pretended to be asleep and refused to answer, or she told him to go away because she didn’t feel well. After long enough of being ignored and feeling helpless, he grabbed the healer who had attended to her and demanded an answer. The healer, seeing his concern, merely laughed, patting Voryn on the shoulder. 

“Young lord, please don’t worry too much.” The healer reassured him. 

“She hasn’t come out of her room. What’s wrong with her?” 

“It’s nothing serious.” The healer answered. “She just got her first period is all.” Voryn blinked, confused. He’d been taught what menstruation was; while some noble families preferred to keep their sons in the dark about such matters, Morvani Dagoth was not that kind of woman. She said it was embarrassing for a man to not know about such matters or find a normal bodily function taboo. It would be humiliating if one of her sons actually managed to marry a woman clueless about what menstruation even was. “A lot of girls are sensitive about it, but I assured her it’s perfectly normal. It just means she’s a young woman now, becoming an adult, but I think she’s still coming to terms with it.” The healer attempted to reassure Voryn. “Don’t worry too much about it.” 

Voryn grit his teeth. He knew there had to be more to it. Nerevar wouldn’t get upset about that for no reason. Not to the point she’d refuse to see Voryn. He turned and marched his way back, more furious than ever that the healer wasn’t taking this seriously. 

He knocked again, and Nerevar groaned. 

“Go away!” She shouted. 

“Let me in please.” Voryn asked, now desperate to see her. Normally he’d respect her wishes, but he needed to make sure she was alright. 

“I don’t want you to see me…” Nerevar answered, her voice cracking to show she’d been crying. Voryn felt his heart break a little more. 

“Wrap up in your blanket?” Voryn offered. “I’m just worried about you… Please?”

There was nothing but silence for a few minutes. Voryn was about to ask again, when he heard Nerevar finally answer him. “Okay…” 

Voryn cracked the door open to reveal Nerevar sitting in the dark in bed, wrapped up in a blanket to the point only her face was showing. Her eyes were red and irritated, still sniffling. Nerevar never cried, not even when injured, so Voryn was really worried now. 

“You don’t want to come out?” Voryn closed the door behind him, moving to sit beside Nerevar. Nerevar shook her head. 

“I hate this…” Nerevar’s shoulders began to shake, another sob coming from her throat. Voryn wrapped his arms around her without thinking, pulling her in close and keeping the blanket wrapped around her. “My stomach hurts… My chest hurts…” 

“That’s all normal.” Voryn tried to reassure her. “Do you want some medicine for the pain?”

“I don’t want it to be normal!” Nerevar snapped. “I don’t…” Tears ran down faster as she buried her face in Voryn’s robes. “I don’t want them to call me a woman. I don’t wanna be a girl! I don’t like that my body is doing this when I don’t even want it to and I can’t do anything about it!” Voryn stiffened. It was the first he’d heard of it, though the rest of Nerevar’s behavior over the years seemed to click for Voryn. The boyish charm, short hair, insisting on not playing pretend as a girl, not to mention the fact Voryn liked boys and liked Nerevar for all the same reasons he liked boys usually… “I just want to be like Boethia… He can be a man whenever he wants to even if people call him a girl. I wanna be like that…” 

“You can be.” Voryn reassured him now, holding him closer. “Nerevar you can be, I promise.” 

“I want a deeper voice like yours…” Nerevar’s tears were stopping now at the reassurance at least, now nuzzling against him. “And a flat chest…”

“I’ve read a few books like that.” Voryn stroked the white, fluffy hair now peaking out from the blanket. 

“R…Really?” Nerevar asked, still too nervous to look up at him. 

“Yes,” Voryn answered. “One was a Boethia cultist who was born a man. She went to Boethia and prayed to be a girl, so Boethia transformed her in a rainstorm of blood.” He explained. “Another was a man who asked Mephala how to change his body and she taught him the alteration magic needed.” Now Nerevar was looking up at him, eyes wide with wonder. “I can call a mage here if you want.”

“Really?” Nerevar sat up more, the blanket now falling down his shoulders. Seeing how excited he was, Voryn couldn’t help but smile. 

“Of course,” Voryn ruffled his hair, before wrapping the blanket back around him for comfort. “I’ll tell Mother right away, and ask them to come quickly.” 

Nerevar wrapped his arms tightly around Voryn, holding him close. 

“Thank you,” He mumbled into Voryn’s shoulder. “I… I mean it…” Ah, Nerevar was crying again, this time in what seemed to be relief. Voryn stroked his head, holding him back. “Thank you so much…” 

“It’s no problem, Nerevar.” Voryn closed his eyes, nuzzling against him, “I just want you to be happy.”