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cirilee · 4 years

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i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up. now i'm thinking: What is so important, that he has to call me during work. there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

#vent #rant

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

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i was tagged by @soulmates7 thank you!!

7 ALBUMS GAME

Rules: Make an image HERE of your top 7 albums, just type in the name and select the album. This can be top 7 of all time or this year or whatever you’d like.

ok i couldnt choose at all so now i have two images

but also i worked for 6+ hours on looking up bands i had seen live or used to listen to more often and i made a list with albums and singles that i have repeated / re-visited a lot or that simply mean a lot to me nd that i’d recommend to others. it was a bit hard to make bc i also love a lot of songs that are single releases with only 1-2 songs, but i don’t listen to them like you would to a longer single / mini album / full albums. i wanted to include laboum’s full length albums (two of us and low pop wow) but those sadly have the lowest production value in most of the songs so i cannot enjoy those fully. there’s also some older plastic tree albums from the 1990s that are hard to access for listeners so i can’t add those. anyway this is the full list (in progress) lol

CHECK IN GAME

1. How has your day been?

quite ok! i slept for 9 hours thats fucking wild, idk how that happened but im grateful! did cry abt gender stuff and am a bit frustrated abt how i took so many hours to look into old albums instead of do useful stuff, but it was very fun and inspiring.

2. What’s the last thing that made you smile?

hmm idk? i dont rly like, keep track of when i do or dont smile when im not in public hgghkjg

maybe the halloween pictures my mom sent me from her home? those were fun. or maybe my friend. idk i was quite cheerful / neutral this morning but since later in the afternoon i had a dip(?)

3. What’s keeping you entertained these days?

uhmmm ive been recently watching halloween-related videos by Abby Green on youtube and rly enjoy her vids on makeup and halloween films and other chitchat and her makeup looks are so cute! also im watching sabrinah the teenage witch episodes from time to time w my friend in the evenings, though we also watched more of stuff recently like goosebumps episodes and films and the griezelbus film and carrie yesterday. we also watch a bunch of other shows but im not too entertained by them, i just find it hard to look away hjfdkhg

4. If you are in some kind of quarantine/self-isolation, what do you hope to achieve in this time?

uh i dont know? my country has never had a real full lockdown but i of c do try to limit going outside aside from working hours, though life hasnt been much different from pre-pandemic as i rarely do fun stuff anyway. i was always inside at home for most of the time but i dont do super exciting stuff here too bc i’ve probably never gotten out of my burnout i got in 2013. i did recently watch stuff together w friends online like watch bts stuff or try to dance together but everyone is either busy or has shitty connection nd it just didnt rly work.

i mean i do want to help better my mental health through CGT and giving myself more structure nd being stricter w bedtime. i rly hope my mental health will get better but idk if i can bc the CGT appointments are 12 in total and after that the therapy stops. it rly sucks but i accepted the offer as i otherwise would be on another waiting list elsewhere too and at the previous place i had therapy for several years, i kept getting new therapists regularly too bc of stuff like their contracts ending or pregancy so i guess im used to not being able to see a therapist for a long time. so idk.

i want to get better mental health and better concentration. i also just need to get a stupid fucking job bc while i dont want to work at all, i have to to be able to live and i need a reason to get out of bed every day to go somewhere so i would have more structure and be less depressed. i mean i could say i want to draw more and dance and read more but ive been saying that for years and i still rarely do it bc im so demotivated nd have worsened focus for years and my special interests are all over the place so i never think about getting stuff done while i really should.

5. Post selfie, if you’re comfortable doing so

from a while ago. it gave me 70s vibes somehow, i like it

LAST SONG

versailles - prince (got bored so i quit playing the song)

LAST SAVED PICTURE

the downscaled selfie and 7 album pictures above

tagging: @princeshojo @lampshroomomg @trespassers-will @baepsrae

#rambles #i got tagged

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maknaesdancersrappers · 4 years

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july 21

hello. july 21 is a special day for me and you dont have to read this because its just me venting out my thoughts and emotions as long as i can without word/character limits on any platform.

july 21 is my maternal grandmother’s birthday. when i was born, my mom went abroad often and my dad had the regular 9 to 5 job plus extra hours for commute. so growing up with my sisters who are 5 and 7 years older, our grandparents and aunts took care of us.

im also more fond of my maternal grandmother since my paternal grandmother lived far away and we rarely ever get to see her (usually only during summers and once she stayed with us for awhile) until she passed away from Alzheimer's.

during the long hiatus i took early this year (late december to mid-march?), a lot has happened in my life. my health was put at risk because of the ash fall brought by the volcano eruption (january 12); i had allergies for weeks - i couldnt breathe properly, let alone sleep because of it. it was about to be the second year after graduating college and i have yet to get a job; the pressure from my family - and myself - was so unbearable that i caught myself slipping back to my very, very, very dark thoughts. and the worst thing that happened in those three months: my grandmother passed away. in filipino, grandmother is lola (loh-lah) and i’d like to use that for the rest of this post.

if you ask anyone in their neighborhood, any of our family friends, and relatives, everyone will tell you that her death was sudden. because everyone knows her as the sometimes-funny-sometimes-cranky old lady that owns the convenience store at the corner of the street. she was 96. she was 96 but she refused to get a wheelchair or use a walking stick even though her knees started to hurt after a few steps. she was 96 but didn’t need glasses to read most of the time. she was 96 but didn’t have any maintenance medication. ever since she reached her 90′s, she had gone to the town clinic at least twice because she fell over (from loss of balance) and busted her head. yet she would walk the next day like she doesnt have stitches on her scalp. she hated going to the doctor, she’d always claim that nothing hurts and the only thing she wanted the doctor to fix was her hearing (its as weak as how her eyesight is clear)

i wasnt the only one in the family that got severely affected by the ash fall. my lola also had trouble breathing because of it. she also went to the doctor for it and they only prescribed her antibiotics. please remember this info. this should be around early february

she got a little better but her voice was very hoarse from the phlegm. even before this, lola had little to no appetite and would only eat when someone else is eating (usually if it’s us, her granddaughters). and by little to no appetite, i mean her whole meal would be three spoonfuls of rice and one piece/chunk of whatever the main dish/ulam is. whenever we ask if she had eaten (even though we know she hadnt) she’d always claim that she already has (this eventually became a little joke in our family.) we took this sign as her dementia getting worse (although she was never really diagnosed with it, we had naturally assumed it because she would always repeatedly tell us stories that she insists happened even though some have been debunked and there were times she forgets our names if we havent visited in a while.)

after she gets better from the cough (idk the real diagnosis of it), her legs started to swell and because her routine had been reduced to being bedridden for most of the day, my aunts thought it was just poor circulation. it took two weeks before they brought her back to the town clinic and again, they just prescribed her with some medicine. everything after this is blurry to me until feb 21

my mom, being the eldest, made the decision to bring lola to the hospital. she’s, rightfully, unsatisfied with the town doctor’s diagnosis and prescriptions because lola is in so much pain and her legs were still swollen and its been weeks. i was with her in the emergency room while my mom and aunt did the paper work and the staff ran tests on lola. i’m contacting my sister who was in singapore and we’d video call to entertain lola since she was very adamant - and vocal - that she did not want to be admitted to the hospital bc she was “fine.” goSh she made so many hospital staff laugh because she would always announce whenever she had to fart. after like 2 hours, we move her into a ward and my mom tells me that i’ll have to stay overnight to watch over her. i was very apprehensive of this idea. i honestly did not want to. seeing her in pain was bad enough, but the fact we were in a room with other people and she was crying out loud made me really anxious but it was final. my mom, aunt, and uncle all went back home just to have dinner and they’ll come back since lola’s doctor would be coming by to give the results and for that hour they were gone? i lost it.

lola started talking/praying out loud, asking god why she was in so much pain, asking what she had done to deserve this; and i didn’t know what to do but hold her hand and kiss her head. i couldn’t even show her i was crying. when my mom got back, i told her i cant do it and she eventually convinced my other sister to join me, who cancelled her plans for the next day. that night, i did not and could not fall asleep. after a few hours, her doctor finally came by and dropped a bomb on us. he was kind enough to talk to my mom and aunt behind the curtains in the softest voice ever while i helped the nurse with lola, but i could hear him crystal clear.

cancer of the liver.

they even momentarily walked back to lola to touch her stomach and stepped back out. i almost thought i misheard, but my mom and aunt’s expressions were too grim that it basically confirmed it. later on, my mom finally told me and explained that the antibiotics she had been taking weeks ago were too strong for her because of her lifestyle and diet. there were tumors in her liver and surgery wouldn’t do anything. i dont remember what i did aside from sketching on the journal i brought, but until i got home at 10am the next day, i did not sleep a wink.

feb 22. when i woke up at 2PM, i was told that they had lola discharged from the hospital. there was nothing we could do but try to ease the pain to the best of our abilities and wait. starting that day, i went over to lola’s house to help out with feeding her, giving her medicine, and just trying to keep her happy by randomly smiling at her when i see her looking around or dancing to no music.

feb 24. these were the early weeks of covid - ph hadn’t had a case yet, i believe, but travel restrictions were being implemented. my sister in singapore was doing everything to make sure she could come home because we don’t know when, but we know lola was leaving soon. of all the things our mom told her not to do, she cried at the entrance of the embassy and by the grace of god, someone took pity and listened to her (bc she was denied entry since she had a small cough) and she was able book a flight at midnight and be home in 4 hours. that afternoon, when i arrived at lola’s house, that was the very first time i stood at the doorway to greet her like i usually did and she didn’t smile. not even the corners of her lips moved. she was in that much pain that she couldn’t even greet me back like she always did, which was to smile and nod her head. that night, we all decided to sleepover there (with the exception of my dad since he had to feed our dogs at home). i take my usual seat in the living room and i notice a white dress that i remember (from photos) being lola’s 50th anniversary wedding gown and without being told, i know it was what she was going to wear for the very last time.

feb 25. being notoriously a late sleeper, i was about to go to sleep at 2AM when i hear lola groaning and whining out loud. when i checked her, her stubborn lil ass was trying to get out of bed alone!!! so i obviously panic and try to wake up anyone by exclaiming that lola had to go to the bathroom - she’s been wearing adult diapers for weeks now but refuses to go in them and is adamant about bringing her to the bathroom so she could relieve herself - so me, and the same aunt and uncle from the hospital, assisted her into this modified chair so she could pee and the only thing i could do was hold her hand, like always. after that, my uncle said he’d watch over her and lie down beside her on the bed so in case she needs to go again, he can take care of it himself. after falling asleep, i heard a few hours later that my sister from SG arrived. when i woke up later on, my sisters and i presented ourselves to lola bc its been so long since she last saw us complete, and this time she was able to give us a small nod of acknowledgement. i realized that none of my uncles and aunts went to work that day, thinking it was just so we could be complete since my sister was home. but then i overhear them making plans to have a priest come over for the sacrament of anointing of the sick - which based on my last and only experience (my grandfather/lolo), this must be the day. during the session, a few of my aunts and an uncle cried. my sisters cried, too, but i forced myself not to. when the priest left, i don’t know how long, but suddenly, she was gone. i didn’t know how to react. this was the second time i’ve seen someone pass away before my very eyes. everyone was crying out for forgiveness, kissing lola’s head, but i couldn’t move one bit. i was finally crying, but i couldn’t move at all.

3 days. from learning about the real problem with lola, it only took 3 days for it to take her away from us. not even a week, or a month. the only bright side to this was that she’s finally relieved of all the pain that’s been causing her suffering. 3 days of knowing her time was very, very short, but it was still a shock when she finally left.

for the longest time, lola’s goal was to reach the age of 100 because apparently our government will reward her with 100,000 pesos (like 2k usd) for doing so. she wanted to reach 100 because she wanted to leave us with some inheritance haha. and everyone believed she could do it. no one doubted her. until this happened. maybe its just me, but i feel foolish... completely stupid and ignorant for knowing deep down in my heart that she would reach 100 that losing her 3 years prior her goal hurt me more than ever.

it’s been 5 months but remembering her death still makes me cry. i have dreams (and you all know im a lucid dreamer) where she’s still alive and we’re talking about how she beat cancer at 96 in just a few months, but then i’ll remember that she didn’t and the dream in front of me just shatters and i’ll wake up empty and crying. i have never felt so much regret after she passed bc all she wanted was to see me graduate and it was up to me to show her that i got my first job and give her a portion of my first salary, but i couldn’t even do that. i waited too long and now its too late. her ideal type for me was a rich atenean boy who could drive 😂 and i still couldn’t give her that bc im so anti-men. there was a time i was so scared to go back to lola’s house bc she called me out during dinner - “baket ka malungkot/why are you sad?” - when all i was doing was browsing through my phone, scarily enough going through another “episode”, and the last person i’d ever want to know about my possible depression was her. of all my suicidal episodes, i’ve always resolved them by thinking of her - that i will continue living because i wanted to see her smile. because i wanted to see her happy.

i miss her so much. i wish i had been a better granddaughter to her. the small things i’ve done for her were never enough. in the past 5 months, i’ve only dreamt about her twice (actually being with her) and both times made the day so hard to function. i havent moved on and i dont know if im the only one. i dont know if i’ll ever move on. she would have been 97 today. whenever she forgets my name, i’ll tell her i have the same birthday as her and she’ll remember me. she’ll say “ahhh rosean! july 10!”

if someone read through this, im sorry you had to go through that mess. but thank you for hearing me out. no, i’ll thank you the way my lola would thank people, verbatim:

thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

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lunar-pantheon · 7 years

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TAG MEME COMPILATION

OK so like basically i’m absolute fucking shit at responding to mentions specifically tag memes so i decided to put a few all into one post and i know some of these were from last fucking year but liste n. i’m slow about this kind of thing ok better late than never right ok so

Tagged by: @pansexual-snake

Rules: Answer the questions and Tag 10 Blogs you’d like to know better

Sign: Virgo

Last Thing Googled?: writing topics generator- i had to write a poem for class and didn’t know what to write about lmao

Last TV Show Watched: Grimm or Steven Universe

When Did I Create My Blog?: may 2014!

Do I Have Any Other Blogs?: oh buddy i have many™

Do I Get Asks Regularly?: not lately, but i would love to be sent more!

Why Did I Choose My Url?:because im gay as fuck and love su

Gender: demiboy? boy? nb? its a mystery my guy

Pokémon Team: Team Mystic

Favorite Colors: the rainbow bc im ga y

Average Hours of Sleep: like 5/6

Favorite Characters: oh buddy there are too many just take a single look at my blog youll see

Dream Job: theater technician/lighting designer or animator

TAGGED BY @sucker-for-contrast

RULES: Tell your followers 11 random facts about yourself, and tag 11 people in return! Tag backs are allowed, but you mustn’t repeat any of the facts you mentioned previously!

uh ok so fun fact, ive had pneumonia 4 times bc i was a stressed child with immune system and lung problems -jazz hands-

i realized i was gay as shit in 6th/7th grade

i realized i was trans as shit like last year

my favorite animal is the mantis shrimp

once i was at my grandmas house and like. she had just cleaned one of her sliding glass doors right? and my brother. my fuckenign brother. he zipped his little ass through her house and just fuckign. SLAMMED into the door. it looked like it was straight out of a cartoon i swear to god i couldnt stop laughing

im a straight A (for the most part) student with an absolutely crippling fear of failure and a huge procrastination problem so thats fun

every time i have to go to the bathroom in my tech class my teacher insists that i say something awesome about myself and i never know what to say so i just say some stupid shit that isnt really even that awesome

i basically live in my schools auditorium at this point

i seem like a pretty open person but im actually really closed off and very few people know all that much about me so -jazz hands part two-

i talk a lot (im p sure to an annoying extent but w/e)

idk i like animated movies a lot

thank you for tagging me friendo!!

Tagged by @jjcka

Rules: Answer these questions and tag 9 people you want to know better

Relationship status: dating @father-son-and-the-holy-jarvis <3

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick bc i hate having dry lips but also occasionally like. bright red lipstick bc i look badass in it

Top 3 shows: su, gravity falls, and atla are like my all time favs, grimm is a current fav bc im watching it rn and its pretty good

Top 3 characters: oooooh buddy idk uh. fuck buddy all of em??

Last song I listened to: right now im listening to trapdoor by twenty one pilots bc im an edgy piece of shit

TAGGED BY @thebiggestdoggoenthusiast

rules: tag people you want to get to know better

how old are you: 15

current job/dream job: theater tech/lighting designer or animator!!

what are you talented at: shit idk like. im an ok artist? and i enjoy tech theater but idk if im all that great at it. i guess i can sing some songs p well and write decently?? maybe?? im not good at this kind of thing lmao

what is a big goal you are working towards (or have already achieved): uhhh becoming a better artist/technician and improving my mental state probably

what’s your aesthetic: forests and sunsets/sunrises!

do you collect anything: i like collecting art prints when i can buy them! one of my walls is covered in them!

what’s a topic you’re always up to talk about: tech, shows im into, lgbt shit

what’s a pet peeve of yours: ohh when people assume that they know everything about me and my mental state bc of the very few and limited things ive told them and try to explain to me how a certain thing feels/try to tell me that i couldnt possibly experience it like that gets me so fuckin PISSED you dont even know

good advice to give: i guess like. dont bite off more than you can chew in school and shit? you dont have to work yourself to absolute exhaustion in order to do well/feel accomplished. it’s ok to take a break. if you’re working yourself to the point that if the series of events youve planned in your head goes even slightly wrong you’ll fall apart, you’re pushing yourself too hard.

recommend three songs:

cellophane- sia

before you start your day- twenty one pilots

medicine- daughter

bonus songs because i like a lot of songs ok:

river- bishop briggs

the dream- cirque du soleil paramour (i just saw this show not too long ago and i just love the chords and feel of this song tbh)

bird set free- sia

thank you guys so much for tagging me in stuff!!

ok so like. im shit at tagging people so like? if you see this and go like “ooo boi i wanna do THAT one” you go buddy live ur dreams and do it and you can do any/all of these do whatever you want but like. i dont think im gonna do a formal tagging of specific people for this one? just show me if yall end up doing one!

#john blabs #john posts #doing this is basically me procrastinating on my homework tbh #it was fun though!!#tag meme

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beardedwinnerobject-blog · 6 years

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Hartford Connecticut Cheap car insurance quotes zip 6147

"Hartford Connecticut Cheap car insurance quotes zip 6147

Hartford Connecticut Cheap car insurance quotes zip 6147

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Hartford Connecticut Cheap car insurance quotes zip 6147

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Need help finding affordable health insurance for a 1 year old baby boy in Nebraksa or Iowa?

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Im 16 and i want to get a cheve monte carlo but my parents say that the insurance will be too much, but there are a lot of people my age with one and i am pretty sure we are more better off financial than they are""

Why is my car insurance so high?! Im 18 yr old female...! :(?

no accidenets, good student, 2003 jetta GLS 1.8 Turbo...10/20 bodily injury...compr and coll both $500 deductible.... I'm paying about 284 right now and its ridiculous :(""

Motorcycle Insurance in Oklahoma?

Am I interpreting this correctly? Motor vehicle with a seat/saddle for the use of each rider, with not more than three wheels and a combustion engine with a piston or rotor displacement of greater than 150 cc. is a motorcycle. Does this mean if I were to buy a 125cc Honda CBR or something of the likes, that I wouldn't have to get motorcycle insurance, and I could use my Class C license and not have to get a Class M license as well?""

What is the best health insurance in california?

i could either choose blue cross hmo or ppo or kaiser hmo..not sure which is best?

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Can someone please explain the diff. between term life insurance and regular life?

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Hartford Connecticut Cheap car insurance quotes zip 6147

What is the best Car insurance?

I'm a 16 year old student and i've noticed that car insurance is very expensive. Whats the cheapest insurance i can get, that covers a lot of situations?""

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I've never had insurance before. Should I call insurance agencies before I get the car? Get quotes/etc? I won't know if I'm going to buy the car until I see it.

Which insurance company offers the best rates for car insurance in ONT?

for one with no insurance history at all, with a G2 licence""

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I just realized my car insurance is $383 every 3 months. I thought that was quite a bit. I'm 24 and totaled my car in February and just got a new Nissan Altima. So I was just wondering how mine compared to everyone else's. How old are you? What kind of car do you have and how much is your insurance?

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A question about car insurance.?

My girlfriend hit a small deer about 6 months ago, it did not do much damage, I called the insurance company and asked them what to do, they asked me what it did and then told me it probably was not worth it since she we have a 500 dollar deductible. Well today I took it in and got the oil changed and asked how much the headlamp was to fix so they looked at the car and told me that deer did about 1500 in damage. Is there anything I can do or am i screwed?""

Will my insurance go up?

I got two speeding tickets not to long ago, they where 145 dollars each. On both of the tickets i was going 75 mph and speed limit was 60 mph. I already paid for the both tickets, they got reduced by 45 dollars each ticket. I was wondering by how much will my insurance go up and when does it go up. Its my dad insurance and he has my car on his insurance. Will the insurance go up only on my car or both of the cars on same insurance and is there any way you can take those tickets of the record. Like traffic schools..""

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I'm 16 years of age. i don't know that much about business. If i purchase a car, MUST i pay car insurance? is it mandatory? What will happen if I don't have car insurance?""

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I just bought a new used car today. I have insurance on my old car still (in my mom's name). Does that insurance cover my new car (in my name) for a bit do you think? Or should I just not drive it at all until i get it insured?

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I'm 17, male and want the cheapest insurance possible.""

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basically a guy drove into the side of me and my car is in the garage awaiting assessment to see if its to be written off or fixed. of course the insurance wants whatever is cheapest and its looking like it would be cheaper to write it off. if this happens can i 1. offer to pay more on my excess to get it fixed? 2. get the car picked up and pay for it all myself to get fixed at my own mechanics? its not that the car isn't fixable its just that the insurance is looking at the cheapest option, which looks like writing it off, because my excess is so high, but if they do this i will never be able to afford the insurance, so would rather keep this policy and fix it, anyway is this possible and can anyone find a loophole?""

Totally outrageous car insurance quote?

I had some issues paying my car insurance and it was cancelled. I called by ins company today to renew it. They told me they couldn't renew my policy but they have a buddy company that can give me an insurance policy. So they get all my info and they quoted me 730 dollars a month! I understand I have bad driving history and I let my insurance get cancelled, but that doesn't seem right at all, I was paying 100 dollars a month before. That doesn't even seem like a real number to charge someone for car insurance, it's more than I pay for rent!""

Is it possible to find a health insurance plan with no deductible requirement?

I found the perfect plan for $33 a month, but it has a $10,000 deductible. WTF? Unless I become pregnant and have a kid, or need surgery or whatever, I find it impossible to make a $10,000 bill within a year. That's too much. I've always been healthy and rarely need to visit doctors. Then I was looking at other policies and they were more expensive, but they all had deductibles. One was like $160 a month with a deductible of $5,000. And anyways, I'm a college student and financially independent which means that I am no daddy's girl -I have to work to support myself and pay some school expenses. I don't want to depend on my parents financially in any way (they are willing to, but I just feel like at 21, I shouldn't be their responsibility anymore) so I always worry something would happen to me and they would have to pay hospital bills for me. I can't afford paying a very high deductible or a high monthly quote. Any hope for me? ..or should I move to Canada?""

Pay out of pocket for my car or go through my insurance company?

I live on a hill. Last week, in a quirky weather situation, the street I live on got super-slick just long enough for my 2000 Toyota Camry to go into a 300' free-slide down the hill and crash into a curb and a tree. It was a one-car accident, no one was injured. The repairman can only give me a rough estimate at this time but he thinks it'd cost about $1500 to repair using old body parts, although he says it could cost more if he finds more damage as he goes along--in that case he thinks it might cost up to $2,000 to patch it up out of pocket. I asked him about the pros and cons of paying out of pocket vs. going through insurance in my particular case. He said that if I chose to go through insurance--which would mean getting a USAA adjuster out and all--that he was thinking it would probably cost $2500 to repair, maybe more if it turned out there was more damage that he could see at this time. But he pointed out that I'd have to pay the deductible (which I think is $500 for my car, not sure) and that my insurance rates would go up. But then you'd end up with a new-looking car. [as opposed to a patched-up looking car]. My husband absolutely wants to pay out of pocket--he does not want to involve our auto insurance company, saying, The insurance company is only for the big accidents. But I'd like to keep this car for several more years if I can because there's no car out there that I like better, so I'm wondering if maybe it might be worth going through the insurance company. Here's a little more information: My 2000 Toyota Camry has 115,000 miles on it and has been very reliable over the years. The motor wasn't damaged and, in fact the car is already driving well again except that one headlight and blinker are broken. There is, of course, body damage to the front and hood, plus a 6 crack over the left back tire (not very deep), which occurred when I backed out of the tree, slid again, and hit the curb on the opposite side of the street. Re: Our insurance situation? We (me and my 3 driving age children) had a string of costly minivan accidents in the 1990s: 1. one in 1997 when my daughter totaled my van, and got sued for injuries by 2 people in the other car (the lawsuit was settled many years ago but it dragged out for years). 2. one by me, a one-car accident, no injuries, our insurance company paid for the damage minus the deductible 3. 2 accidents caused by other drivers, so my insurance company didn't have to pay any damages--I don't know if USAA takes accidents caused by other people into consideration or not. 4. My son totaled my van in 2000 [which is why my current car is a year 2000]. So we have not called upon our insurance company for any expenses for almost 11 years now. Regarding traffic tickets? I got one 3-4 years ago for speeding--35 or 40 mph in a 25 mph zone-. If my points from this ticket have expired by now (not sure), then there are no other points on our record. Our children are now out of the nest and only one of them borrows our car when she comes to visit once every month or two. I put less than 10,000 miles/year on my car for work and vacations. We live in PA. So my question is this: Given the age of the car, amount of damage, etc., is it worth going through our insurance company to get the car fixed rather than pay OOP--or would going through insurance raise our insurance premiums so much that it wouldn't be worth it?""

Can I get a motorcycle license without a drivers license ?

I am 16 and I live in Florida, I just want to get a motorcycle license without the whole drivers license thing because cheaper insurance. My parents are making me pay and I need it as cheap as possible. Thanks :)""

18yr old with an provisional can i drive my brothers car without me being insurance to drive it?

im 18 yrs old i have a provisional and my brother is takeing me out in his car im just woundering do i need to be on his insurane on his car cos he said thta all i need is L plates and my provisional i just want to make sure thanks ps can u reply asap he taking me out today in his car for the first time

Will auto insurance rates go up if filing a Comprehensive claim in Texas?

I had windows knocked out and body damage done to two trucks by vandals, the vandals were identified and police report files and charges will be pressed. I carry $1000 deductable and damage was in the range of $2000 per vehicle. Any insurance claims adjusters want to comment? PS I havent called my insurance yet, cause I know just making the call will go down as a claim .""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a harley davidson sportster 1200 in Maine ?

What's the price for full coverage and just liability

Young Drivers: How much did you pay for car insurance?

Hello all, I'm trying to find out the average cost of car insurance in the UK or Ireland for a political debate on the subject and was wondering if young drivers (provisional license) could provide some. Thanks very much!""

Can an insurance company cancel the insurance after they found out that there is something wrong?

hi! we just bought a house and got insurances but then after a month in our new house, we got a notice from the insurance saying that our insurance will be cancelled by the next month coz they found out in the inspection that there is a rott on the garage roof and told us to fix it first then they will continue our insurance?? i just wanna know if they can do that or if that is allowed to cancel our insurance after they accepted us?? what can we do ?""

Hartford Connecticut Cheap car insurance quotes zip 6147

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BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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affordability insurance opt-out payment irs.gov

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Recently my windshield was smashed and I dont want to have my insurance cover the replacement if my rates are going to go up. Can i just call them and ask or is that just a stupid question?

Cheapest car insurance for a young driver?

im 20..i own a car. no tickets and no accidents i have had my license for a yr and half where can i find the cheapest car insurance?

affordability insurance opt-out payment irs.gov

How far back in your driving record do insurance agents look when determining your car insurance rate?

Can anyone explain life insurance to me?

Can you insure the whole family? As if, if any of them passes away the rest get the money?""

Color of vehicle and insurance rates?

Does the color of your vehicle really play a part in dictating your car insurance rates?

Vehicle with no insurance MINNESOTA?

My girlfriend got pulled over tonight after having a brand new car for two days after selling her first car she drove for two and a half years, her mother apparently told her that she had 7 days to get insurance so sure enough we got cited for no insurance. I guess I was curious to know if liability covers her driving a vehicle without insurance? It probably doesn't but I know there is a form of insurance that does. If this is going to slide downhill I would also like to know some advice you have to word it nicely to a judge to help avoid a 30 day license suspension. I heard earlier tonight that in mn it's mandatory but I'm hoping not. Thanks for your help and time!""

What is the average insurance cost for a 04 lexus rx 330?

Why are insurance rates going up even if its not your fault?

I work in claims department of a big insurance company. And I found out that even though it is not your fault or if its a comp claim, there is still a possibility that your rates would go up. Why is that so?!?""

Affordable health insurance?

What are some affordable Health Insurance Options in NYC for Latin American father and his child to be? My friend doesn't have health insurance and is planning on putting his new baby (born around Oct.) on his policy with him. He's Latin American and has his permanent residence card, but is not yet a citizen. Anyone know of any affordable plans for him to look into in the Manhattan area?""

How Can I Get Cheap Auto Insurance?

im 18 i just got my lisence i have a 93 ford ranger that my dad can put in my name. my parents are seperated. my mom has excellent driving record and good policy. if i get on her policy. can i drive the truck if its in my name ? im not sure im just trying to get auto insurance. and i have no one to help :(

Does Mercury Car Insurance give instant proof of insurance?

Car insurance...........?

Right.. my mom already has a car and is the named driver of it. I have got a ford ka and have been looking on insurance company's and it is cheaper for my mom to be the named driver of my car but for me to go on the insurance.. Can my mom own to cars or is this not possible UK only please.

16 Year old Illinois Insurance Rates?

Im 16 now, and i may be buying a truck soon. Its a 1994 Ford f-150. Im trying to find where the cheapest rates are. I only want liability insurance because im short on $$$$$. Im not doing so hot in school so that will raise my rates a bit, but what would be my best bet and finding insurance?""

Does lojack reduce auto insurance rates?

How much will I have to pay mom for Insurance!?

Ok, my mom agreed with me to let me get on her car insurance because I'm under 25 and if I was to get my own insurance it would cost a fortune. She uses Drive Insurance through Progressive. She has a 2007 Ford Edge and I think she's paying 185/mth. I'm getting a 1999-2000 Pontiac Grand Am and I'm not getting full coverage insurance just half (I guess)..How much do YOU think it will cost for me? I live in Michigan if that helps.""

Is my newborn covered under my insurance plan?

my baby was born on 7/2/09 and was in the NICU for 9 days. Yesterday we received a statement stating that our insurance company has not paid our claim, do they usually pay for something like this or are we responsible to pay?""

How much will car insurance go up for me?

im 15 and i live in FL so i can get my permit but my mom said shes not letting me unless i get put onto theyre insurance (statefarm) but she also said shes not getting me insurance if its super expencive.....any1 know a estimated amount it will go up????

Is there a car insurance that will give a young driver a reasonably quote?

i recently purchased a mk1 ford fiesta. theres no mods to the car and tax wise i think its a classic. its a 1984. i have wanted a mk1 fiesta for years now and its the car i want to drive. im 17 and the cheapest quote on any car ive been given is 2000. are there any companies that will give me a good quote on my fiesta

How much would my insurance cost . . .?

If I am 16 and driving a 2007 Scion TC that is completely paid for ?

Do you need insurance if your car has insurance?

I'm about to get my license but my family doesn't want to pay for my insurance. My brother says that the car he's giving me has insurance on it under his name and that if i get into an accident all the blame goes to him. He said its okay, is this true?""

How much will a porsche 944 be in 4 years time and what will the insurance be if I'm 18?

It doesn't matter about fixing it as my uncle is a mechanic and I will be training soon.My uncle has got one now and I love it !!!

Best room insurance for a University student?

Which company provides the best deal on room insurance for students? Cheers

Where to Find Really Cheap Health Care Insurance?

I know a lot of sites that offer health insurance, but need to know really cheap health care insurance.Thank you in advance.""

How do I go about getting insurance at 18? In WI?

I'm 18. I work two jobs unfortunately with no insurance or benefits! How can I get health insurance? I live in Wi.

Would this be legal ? start own car insurance company and insure self.?

We were talking about the price of car insurance at work today about how the cost is becoming ridiculous. I came up with this idea its entirely hypothetical but it got me wondering if it was possible. Just say i started and registered a insurance business. I offered 3rd party only insurance to my close friends and family people that i know personally are careful drivers.Say 50 people get a years cover for just 100 and i insure my self for free. Now i know what you might be thinking what happens if some one has a bump? Well i have 5000 in the business account so it should cover minor repairs however and hear comes the is it legal part if someone puts in a large claim that i cannot cover.Say my grandma writes off some rich mans Bentley. I just declare the company bankrupt ! Thinking about it its not to different to what the bankers have been doing .

How much should i pay for insurance premium for an indoor playground business?

Liability insurance for an online vitamin store. Do I need it? And how can I get it?

Hi yahoo friends, I have a new website. I want to sell vitamin and supplements. One of a whole sellers asked me for copy of liability insurance. What is it? Do I need it since I sell their products, should the liability go to them? How can I get it? Please help me , if you know the answer. Thank you.""

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