#was born. im insecure abt it bc i really did want to move iut and ik i should be focusing on that so much more than i am but this has also b | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pepprs · 2 years

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no bc seriouslt also like following up from the last post. i did not move out this year and that was my biggest goal and i didn’t do it and that fucking sucks. ive made some progress but i don’t know what im doing or if im actually ready. but the fact that this new room is going to be created downstairs… like every day i think of it. a brand new bedroom that’s never existed and it will have a door directly to the outside which is scary. but it can be MY BEDROOM and i can decorate it however i like without adhering to campus rules and it can be a temporary transitional space and then i can move out in like the summer or something when i have more time and im normaler. and seeing the room get built is insane and im so nervous and distressed abt the renovation even happening but i am also so hopeful and excited about this room and finally having enough space to like figure myself out and then go get more space for myself

#purrs #like this is going to be a HUGE quality of life improvement for me. to be in my own bedroom and to have enough storage space and a desk and #somewhere to sit on the floor. and to not have it be the room i have slept in and shared all my life that has not been redecorated since i #was born. im insecure abt it bc i really did want to move iut and ik i should be focusing on that so much more than i am but this has also b #been a very hard year and i have not had what i needed to do it and this will help so much. i will miss how the house used to be but maybe #this is good. and also there’s a fucked upness to it bc literally none of this would’ve happened w/o my grandma dying last yr like when you #think abt it that literally set off SO much change in my life. but for all the spaces i have lost that i treasured so much there is one new #one being created and it can be mine and it’s so comforting and exciting to me. and it will have such a good view into the trees 🥹

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