#was to spare y'all having to read that so im stopping myself here and getting out my fucking laptop to do some surveys

[izzy-b-hands]

i thought writing up the stupidly realistic dream i had would make me feel better abt it not being real. it both did and didn't and I've been telling myself to get my laptop open and start getting some shit done but. i keep thinking abt it. this stupid fuckin dream lmao

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[knivestheresnothingtoit]

“Are we licking stuff?” - Faraday (aka last night’s RP session)

In which Faraday and Vasquez try to get Red Harvest drunk and just get really fucking hammered themselves and hatch stupid plans while Goodnight tries to keep the peace and McCann is done with everything and everyone. Features such fine quotes as "hell hath no fury like an enraged mexican on a mission with hell on his heels" - McCann. Also Faraday explains to McCann how reproduction works. Read below the cut

Faraday: Guys I have a announcement *strolls over to the tableI am just as lousy a walker sober as when I am drunk* Red Harvest: Are we supposed to be surprised? Goodnight: Let's just act it. For his sake. Faraday: My sake? Now I am offended Goody. Vasquez: Are you drunk right now? or did we get lucky? Faraday:I had one drink befoee headed here. *sits down* Vasquez: Just one? you're sure about that? Red Harvest: Do you mean one bottle? Goodnight: What was the alcohol proof? Faraday: Bottle,cup its all the same. And it was shit proof. Not even a buzz Goodnight: Pfft. Well I'm sure your liver can handle one night of cheap booze. Vasquez: As long as that doesn't become the rationale for repeated nights of cheap booze Red Harvest: Can I have the bottle? Faraday: You want a empty. Bottle? And what do ya mean Vas? Red Harvest: Well. Never mind then Vasquez: Don't keep drinking that junk night after night and saying it's "just one more night" of doing it Faraday: I have another someplace Red. Vasquez: Why is that not surprising Goodnight: I like how it's "someplace". Faraday: You think me the person who does that? Red Harvest: Sweet. I want it Faraday: It might be in my bag or dresser. I hide them Red Harvest: Of course you do Vasquez: Good to know. Faraday: No Vasquez. Vasquez: What? I didn't do anything Faraday: You said good to know and we are bunked in the same area. Vasquez: Are you implying I would steal your alcohol? I mean, I might, but the fact that you would think that of me... Faraday: To stop me drinkin? Yes you may not want them Vasquez: Hmph. I could use a drink right now Red Harvest: You Vasquez, should not get drunk. It is not pretty when that happens Goodnight: It's not pretty when any of us are drunk. Let's be honest, now. Red Harvest: You just get sad Goodnight Vasquez: I'm tempted, just because you said that, Red Red Harvest: You were trying to get Horne to have sex lady time you were drunk Vasquez. You have very little room to judge Goodnight: Exactly. That is not pretty. Vasquez: Oh c'mon, like none of you wanted them to get together? Faraday: Sex lady time? The hell is that a new..uhhh never mind Red Harvest: Still drunk Faraday? Faraday: No just not sure if I heard right Vasquez: From the sound of it, Red may be the one who's done the most drinking so far Red Harvest: At least I can hold my liquor Faraday: Can you? Vasquez: I'm not sure I've ever seen you really drink, come to think of it Faraday: Same. I wanna see that Vasquez: I'll buy Red Harvest: Alright Goodnight: That sounds terrifying. But I cannot pass that up. Red Harvest: Exactly Vasquez: Bartender, bring over a bottle of your strongest. For the little shit over there Red Harvest: You spoil me Vasquez, how kind of you Faraday: Now we are talking break out the drinks *rubs hands together* Vasquez: My pleasure, Red. Drink up, don't be shy Red Harvest: *Rolls eyes but grabs the bottle and drinks straight out* Faraday: Please don't be because we sure as hell will not be Red Harvest: *Slams it down* Weaklings Goodnight: Red? Be shy? *chuckles* Faraday: Are you challenging us? Red Harvest: Fight me Vasquez: Oh, we're ready Faraday: Maybe not Goodnight Vasquez: Yes, he'd better moderate He's too old for this BARTENDER, another round Red Harvest: Horrible idea, really Faraday: And Billy scares me Vasquez: Yes, I think if we get Goodnight too hammered, he'll kill us Goodnight: Well... Maybe not "kill"... Maim? But Vasquez. "Too old"? I am offended. Red Harvest: *Takes some of the new bottle* We mean kill Vasquez: Sorry, Goodnight. It' s just how I see things Faraday: I am already maimed Red Harvest: It's the hair Faraday: The beard? Goodnight: Well, I think I look rather charmin'. Dapper. Red Harvest: Did Billy tell you that? McCann: *enters* *pauses* *immediately leaves* Vasquez: Whether it's true or not doesn't change the fact that he's too old for this HEY get back in here, McCann! McCann: nope Faraday: Get your ass back here McCann Red Harvest: They're trying to get me drunk. We're gone through two bottles already Vasquez: *steps outside, grabs McCann by the collar, drags him inside* Sit down Goodnight: *points to McCann* If I have to sit through this and endure it, so are you. McCann: nO *struggles* Vasquez: Pour him a drink, Faraday. He'll stick around Red Harvest: Want a knife? Might help McCann: gimme that knife red Red Harvest: Was I talking to you?? Goodnight: Can we leave the knife handling to Billy, please? Red Harvest: No McCann: if it means i'll kill myself, i don't think you'd rightly care, no? Vasquez: Yes Red Harvest: I think we've proven that you suck at that Vasquez: Only I'm allowed to kill you and Red is right anyway Faraday:*pours a drink* McCann? McCann: fuck you all next chancce i get i'm leaving Faraday: Wait why are we waisting this on him Red Harvest: You gave it to him now give it to me Vasquez: Why, Faraday? I don't know about you, but I'm bored this is interesting Faraday: Geez  calm down Red. And it is Vasquez: Hey, I've got an idea Red Harvest: Im scared Vasquez: could be because I've drunk a little too much, but Faraday: What? Vasquez: There's a bounty on my head, yes? Let's say one of you turns me in, takes the bounty, breaks me out, and we split the cash? Red Harvest: How many drinks have you had? McCann: you're right you drank too much faraday might be the only one dumb enough to do that with you drunk or sober Vasquez: may have drunk too much but that doesn't mean it's a bad idea Faraday, are you in? we can try tomorrow McCann: that wasn't an invitation Vasquez: Sounded like one to me Faraday: Vas. What if you say no? Vasquez: to what? Red Harvest: What do we do about him? Faraday: In the morning Sober you Will say no Vasquez: I won't McCann: any idea from you guys is always a bad idea Vasquez: i promise, faraday says the one who sided with Bogue McCann: i don't need to tell you my reasons for joining up with him no one's ever asked why you got a bounty of $500 on your head for killing a ranger Vasquez: you wanna know why? Faraday: Yeah? McCann: not particularly no i couldn't care less everyone does shit it's nothing new Red Harvest: You're going to tell us anyways Vasquez: Never mind *scowls and drinks* Faraday: Aww Vasquez. *wraps a arm around him* Tell us Red Harvest: I think I drank more than you but somehow you are still drunker Vasquez: He shot the only person I had left and he would have killed me too. It was me or him Faraday: Ohh. Man. *loosens his arm* Red Harvest: I'm sorry Goodnight: frowns I'm sorry, Vasquez... Faraday: They say you remember your first kill. Red Harvest: Do you? Faraday: Me?.....No *shifts his chair* Vasquez: Wasn't my first, but I remember it just as well something you want to say, Josh? Faraday: That I want more. Yes Goodnight: Whomever that "they" was, they could not be more right. Vasquez: once in awhile the sayings are right Faraday: The guy who was like a father to me kinda said that Vasquez: what did he say? Faraday: That you remember the first kill Vasquez: Sorry, lost my train of thought for a moment there was he a fighter? Faraday: Kinda. I got my guns off him Vasquez: they're good guns for "kinda a fighter" to have Red Harvest: Served their purpose when needed Vasquez: that's what counts Goodnight: True but it's kind of nice to have something that holds a special meaning behind it.. Faraday: He was but a story for another time Another round? Vasquez: I'll drink to that or rather i'll drink that aiyayay my jokes are even worse than usual tonight McCann: you say it like they've never been bad Faraday: They are good jokes But... mine are better McCann: yours are not any better Vasquez: I was about to say thank you, but never mind McCann: in fact they're even worse Vasquez: OH there we go Thank you, McCann Faraday: Are not damn you McCann: they're even worse when you're piss drunk which is say about 90% of the time Vasquez: he's right about that one, Josh Goodnight: He does have a point. Faraday: Is not. I am... *downs another shot* Vasquez: are you trying to prove his point? Faraday: No my head just hurts So Red how are you holding up McCann: your head's always hurting with the amount you consume Faraday: Fuck off McCann So. Vas? McCann: ohhhh nows my chance then Vasquez: Yes? McCann: *tries to leave* Vasquez: *hauls him back* McCann: motherfucker *scowls* Faraday: Why do you wanna turn yourself in? Vasquez: preferably you will turn me in and take the bounty, and then break me out and then we split the cash McCann: what part of  "vasquez has had too many drinks" did you not understand faraday Vasquez: i just had enough drinks to make me creative McCann: to make you stupider and reckless Faraday: How would I do that? Vasquez: do what the breaking me out part? Goodnight: Please don't question that; I'm afraid he'll pull out dynamite again to break you out. Vasquez: if it works, i don't mind if he doesn't blow himself up again Faraday: I won't honest *goofy grin* Vasquez: see? he's a responsible adult goody McCann: those two words should never be used with faraday if you were sober, you'd know that better than anyone else Goodnight: I cannot...believe I am saying this... But I agree with McCann... *shudders Faraday: Excuse me mr. I stabbed myself wrong Vasquez: GOOD POINT McCann: you're excused mr. i blew myself up by carrying around a spare stick of dynamite Vasquez: Faraday i would want to do this now before goody tries to stop us but i'm not sure i can walk straight right now Goodnight: The one upside about y'all bein' drunk. Faraday: You lean on me and i lean on you we will be good Vasquez: okay shall we go? Goodnight: No, no. Vasquez: actually, one more drink first McCann: you're like two peas in a pod i swear to god Faraday: Yes,yes Vasquez: CHEEERS Goodnight: If I have to chase you two, I swear I will wake BIlly up. Vasquez: uh oh Faraday: *clinks his glass* Cheers Goodnight: Yeah. Vasquez: Billy doesn't need to know Goodnight: He doesn't. But he will. Besides--- You two will wake up the whole damn town you're so hammered. Faraday: He doesn't need to know....geez Mom Vasquez: they like us They won't care Faraday: Goodnight i mean And yeah McCann: they'll care if you're disturbing their sleep in the middle of the night Vasquez: they owe us anyway so they shouldn't complain Faraday: They do Vasquez: WAIT FARADAY you might not even have to break me out Faraday: Yes? Why? Vasquez: Because if the sheriff imprisons me all the townspeople will get mad he might jut let me go Faraday: True Vasquez: admit it, I'm a genius. We'll be rich by tomorrow Faraday: Good planning Vasquez: thank you Goodnight: ...That...doesn't make a lick of sense. McCann: how did you two ever survive when you were drunk off your ass Vasquez: you know what, you don't make a lick of sense teamwork mccann You wouldn't get it, you don't have friends Faraday: Are we licking stuff? Goodnight: No one is licking anything, Joshua. McCann: you were on your own for a good portion of the time you dumbass Faraday: Damn Vasquez: I don't get drunk by myself McCann: no but faradaay sure as hell does Faraday: I do and its no fun Vasquez: faraday's not wanted he doesn't have to be so careful Faraday: This is true Vasquez: I mean, wanted by the law. Not sure about other ways. Think I saw some girl with her eye on you downtown yesterday McCann: he doesn't have to be wanted he already makes people dislike him just by being an ass Faraday: A girl? Goodnight: Amazing that thats the only part he picks up... Faraday: I pick up stuff McCann: like dynamite? Faraday: Like a drink Vasquez: shall we take one for the road? Faraday: Yep *stands and wobbles* Vasquez: *pushes back chair and almost tips it over* McCann: ..... im not helping any of you dumbasses Goodnight: Oh, Lord... sighs and gets up to block the door Faraday: Like we need help *waves it off * Vasquez: I think if we go fast we can get past him McCann: *mumbles clearly* Faraday: Right. Lets move fast *starts for where he thinks the door was* Vasquez: *follows, runs into the wall* But I thought… McCann: *facepalms* Goodnight: *drops shoulders, raises eyebrow* I don't know why I worried... Faraday: *trips and runs into Vasquez* Goody moved the door on us Vasquez: Goody thats not nice Goodnight: *looks at McCann* How did you let that shoot you? McCann: apparently his aim is much better when he's not drunk off his ass Vasquez: my aim is fine right now McCann: also Faraday: I can't get up McCann: hell hath no fury like an enraged mexican on a mission with hell on his heels Goodnight: Oh, thank the Lord. Vasquez: Let me give you a hand *offers one* Faraday: *grabs his hand and pulls himself up* Ugh geez. No lord talk. Vasquez: maybe we'll have to try this plan tomorrow güerito Faraday: When will you tell me what that means? Vasquez: later Faraday: Good damn. Goody is gonna snitch on us though to Sam and Billy Goodnight: How about this-- Vasquez: Dammit, you're right Goodnight: Y'all forget that plan, those two don't have to know about any of this. Vasquez: hmm Faraday: I am gonna write it down Vasquez: That's a good idea Faraday: I need a paper and that thing Goodnight: "That thing"... Vasquez: oh yes I think I have one of those things Here *hands it over* Faraday: You know *makes a hand writing gester with no pen/pencil* Ohhh *takes it and looks for paper* Hmmmm Vasquez: McCann, do you have some? Or goody? Goodnight: *blinks, stares* Vasquez: you're no help just write it on the table Josh. We'll clean it off tomorrow Goodnight: Please don't deface public property with this stupid plan... McCann: ..... Faraday: *tries it* Damn. Vas give me your hand Vasquez: what? Faraday: I am gonna write on it Vasquez: Oohhhh Here Faraday: *grabs it and starts writing Vasquez: Good idea McCann:.......... Faraday: Best idea. McCann cannot think of this Goodnight: *crosses arms, raises brow* Uh-huh. And is that ink smudge proof? McCann: *heavily sighs, eyes rolled up to the ceiling* Faraday: Isn't all ink Goodnight:....Sure, Joshua. McCann: how were you born Faraday: Well I hope you know Vasquez: I promise not to wash my hand until we're sober again Faraday: You are a big boy Mccann And good Vasquez: McCann your mother should have gave you that talk McCann:.......... *stares* lemme rephrase that Faraday: You do what you do to the saloon girls but only...well McCann: how did you ever survive on your dumbass self gross faraday Goodnight:JOSHUA PLEASE McCann:i don't need to know the details of sex Vasquez: I think he gets it now josh Faraday:You are the dumbass who asked McCann: you're the dumbass who can't recognize what it is i'm trying to ask Faraday:Goody don't yell I did McCann:i'm well aware of how a person gets born you idiot what fuckin adult isn't Faraday:Are you? Have you seen it? Vasquez: I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know McCann: WTF FARADAY Faraday: I mean...ugh... i am not drunk enough Goodnight: You're all tryin' to put me in an early grave. Faraday: No. Horne woukd beat you Vasquez: Here Josh *pours him a drink* Goodnight: Get the bottle. Get the bottle. McCann: at the rate this is is going, you two might die around the same time Vasquez: *grabs it* too late Faraday: Should we run? Goodnight: Can you run? Vasquez: Yes! McCann: you couldn't even find the exit Vasquez: clearly the exit is where the door is McCann: and have yu found the door at all judging by your previous attempt Vasquez: the door is in the wall by the porch Over there somewhere *waves a hand around* Faraday: Vas we gotta go. Vasquez: I'm ready. *stands up shakily* McCann: ........ Faraday: *laughs as he takes off to run and trips over a chair* Ahh fuck. Fuck you chair. The hell Goodnight: You...tell that chair, Joshua... McCann: ................ Vasquez: That chair had it coming Faraday: Fuck my knee Vasquez: *stumbles generally toward the door while clutching the bottle* sorry? Faraday: It got my knee. Goodnight: *sighs and goes back by the door* Vasquez: Oh no Goodniiiiiiight It's past my bedtime; I need to go Faraday: *fallows him,limping,but acting smooth* Goody. Cmon McCann: *puts face in hands* Goodnight: You can sleep on the floor. Vasquez: that's not comfortable Goodnight: That's sounds like a personal problem. Faraday: What floor where McCann: what the fuck are you standing on faraday Faraday: I ain't sleeping here Vasquez: me neither. Goodyyyy come on Faraday: We have beds Goodnight: I'm sorry, Vasquez. But I simply cannot let you two loose on this poor town like this. Faraday: What will you do then? Vasquez: I just want to go to bed Faraday: Same my bed needs me Vasquez: I'm tired goodnight Goodnight: *squints* Faraday: *yawns* Goodnight: ....Do not make me regret this.... McCann: wait, why the fuck am i even staying i'm leaving *starts walking to the door* Vasquez: McCann tell him to let us go Faraday: Take us with you McCann: you two are on your own Vasquez: Please No Goodnight: *steps away* Fine. Go on, then. McCann can look after you. Faraday: Don't do that McCann: what fuck no robicheaux i'm not looking after a pair of dumb drunkards Faraday: He needs sleep too McCann: i don't even stay with you guys Vasquez: how about you just let us go and we'll promise to go to bed Faraday: Yes you can even walk us back McCann: no that's not even the direction im headed in Vasquez: It is now McCann: no Vasquez: Yes McCann: no Faraday: Goodnight he is a horrible sitter Goodnight: I'm falling asleep right here standing up Goodnight: Aaah. Alright, alright. Christ. Vasquez: Do you want me to fall on you Goodnight: Let's all head out. McCann: *walks out the door* im leaving Vasquez: runs into doorframe but follows Faraday: Fallowing the leader *fallows* Vasquez: These stairs weren't here before Dammit These are hard Faraday: That's something I heard before Goodnight: *blinks* Vasquez: *laughs way too hard* Faraday: He is shocked Vasquez: Again, old man Hey which way are we going? Goodnight: *sighs* I don't know why I expected anything less. Well... We're all in the same building. I do believe it's to the right.. Vasquez: okay, let's go Faraday: *starts in that way* Vasquez: Which way is that again? Goodnight: ...points to the right Vasquez: thanks amigo *goes that way* Faraday: *fallows humming a tune*

@geekyelvenchick @kirayamidemon @low-x-battery @rosecreeksashes

[marshmalleaux-queen]

something that pisses me off

....but I'm going to put it under a read more because

a.) i'm certain no one wants a text wall full of rage all over their dash b.) i don't know a whole lot about this thing I'm pissed about so I want to save my baseless assumptions and irritation for people who actually want to involve themselves with my bullshit and spare myself the embarrassment of having it shown right off the bat c.) i don't know how long this might be because i'm just writing as i go d.) because fuck you thats why

So my mom has been denied disability benefits for what, third? fourth time? of course every single time we've said how much fucking bullshit that is but this time i asked to read the papers they sent her about why she got denied, and even though i did a small amount of skimming and didn't fully understand the terms (i would have asked mom for meanings but she is rightfully upset and doesn't even want to think about it), im still finding a lot of it.... fucking bullshit

So for the longest time, as long as I can remember really, my mom has been too sick to hold an actual job. She's got so many diagnoses I don't even know the names of right away, but I know she has (and i'll probably spell these wrong but right now i dont really care) fibromyalgia, endometryosis, some kind of disc disease (?), she's had so many surgeries (some of them were even purely exploratory i'm pretty sure,) procedures, been on so many medications, tons of which make her even MORE ill. some days she's in so much pain she can barely talk or move, and pretty much every morning it takes her hours to even get out of bed because it hurts so much, and god forbid (and please pardon if this is TMI???) her constipation has gone on for a long time because that just adds to it and makes it worse (there was actually one time where she didn't go for almost a MONTH, im not even fucking kidding), or that if she's not in pain she's instead violently ill and vomiting her brains out every half hour. Then there's the thing where if she stands up too fast, she's basically .01% away from passing the fuck out. none of that "woah small little head rush" shit, she literally fucking convulses and if it weren't for me or a well-placed object to support her she'd fall straight to the floor, hard. This isn't even going into detail about every other physical diagnosis she's had, nor is this even touching the MENTAL diagnoses (y'all think my depression/anxiety is bad, it's a fucking joke compared to hers)

And all of this stuff means that she CANNOT hold any kind of job. I know what you're thinking "but what about something mundane and doesn't require physical work" but then god forbid she can't come in because of the random EXCRUCIATING pain she's in or the incessant need to throw up, the passing out from standing up, what have you. Trust me, she is a stuborn and independent person who will stop at absolutely nothing to do what she needs to have done, and if she was physically capable of going out and doing any kind of work BELIEVE ME SHE WOULD. One of the biggest concerns and fears and things I have literally caught her CRYING ABOUT (and my mom DOES NOT CRY) is that she feels useless because she can't contribute to our family like my stepdad can, and thinks that her ailments can't be excuses for not working and such. Her ailments have affected her in basically every way and on every level i can think of.

so imagine when i ask to read the papers on why she's denied disability benefits and see all this bullshit they wrote. They said that even if she can't go out and do JOB jobs, she can still do simple tasks like cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and leisure things like swimming, and that she can "still lift 10-20 pounds" and "remain in a standing/sitting working position longer than 8 hours" (that last one isn't verbatim but you get what i'm saying). So basically, they say she's incapacitated enough to not do a real working job, but she's not so incapacitated that she can't get up and do a house chore or pull a laundry basket up the stairs once in a while, and because of that she's not "disabled."

And in the same page (if not, the very next one), they said that her ailments might prevent her from doing hard physical labor, but that there are (and again, not VERBATIM but pretty damn close) "plenty of working opportunities in this economy that do not require physical labor that she has not taken." And i'm gonna fucking say it again, IF SHE WAS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY CAPABLE OF HOLDING ANY KIND OF WORKING JOB/OCCUPATION, EVEN DOING THE MOST MENIAL TASKS, SHE WOULD HAVE FUCKING DONE IT BY NOW.

In addition, they said that because she's gone to school and held jobs in the past (and it fell within a certain time period), she's not actually physically or mentally impaired. And let me tell you why that's another huge fucking crock of bullshit. The last time my mother has held a job or gone to college was when she was a single mother, living alone and taking care of two INFANT children with absolutely nobody else around to support every one of us. She was still just as ill as she is today, but she prioritized her children over anything else and would rather work TWO JOBS (oh yeah did I mention she took two part time jobs that basically equaled a full time job, because she fucking did) to care for her children rather than use her pain as an excuse to let us starve. If she was going to be a half decent mother, she had no other fucking choice than to push through to feed and clothe us and give us an education. And these fucking piles of shit are saying that because these circumstances were relatively recent, she can't be considered "disabled." What kind of baseless and uncaring bunch of absolute fucking bullshit do they think they're spouting.

And let's not forget the kinds of people who ARE on disability benefits. Sure, of course there are some people out there who genuinely need it (people who are paralyzed, SEVERELY mentally ill/incapacitated/slow, etc), but I bet you all the fucking money i have that most of the people who are recieving disability are lazy, uncaring, EXPLOITING piles of ungrateful shit who don't even have ANYTHING REMOTELY wrong with them, are fully capable of working and just CHOOSE not to, and on the off chance they do have children (because i'm certain a lot of them don't), they use them as a pathetic excuse to fall back on when they are COMPLETELY able of not only taking care of themselves but these (more often than not) PERFECTLY HEALTHY children as well. These people are given disability benefits with almost no issues, an my mother is denied four fucking times. Let that fucking soak in.

In short, these disability people are fucking disgraces to the human race and they can kiss my ass and fuck off to the deepest pits of hell.

thank you and i'll be here struggling to stop my hands from shaking if you need me