#we appreciate idiot boyfriends and idiot boyfriends exclusively!

[floatysparrowthing]

he was a sk8er boi, he said annoy you l8r boi

(a teen soukoku fic, y2k style)

Chapter 14: Always

Chapter summary:

It takes less than a week of dating for their friends and family to catch on.

Snippet:

“Did something happen between you two?” Piano Man asks, black eyebrows rising into his dyed white hair.

“Hah?” Chuuya flushes. “Whaddya mean?”

“Chuuya.” Iceman levels a Look at him. Don’t bullshit us, it says.

Chuuya looks away, towards the brightly colored food court restaurants, caught halfway between embarrassment and a grin that refuses to settle down.

“That obvious, huh?” he asks.

“Let’s see, you abandon us for a week to hang out exclusively with him, then you two show up on Monday at lunch, heh,” Doc says. “And bring him to Piano Man’s only to flirt in front of us the whole time.”

“You guys keep giving each other looks,” Lippman says, meaningfully.

“We do not!” Chuuya says. What kind of “looks”? he wonders.

“You seem happier,” Iceman says.

“Happier? With that idiot? No way.” Chuuya leans back, crossing his arms.

Albatross laughs way too hard at that. “Just give it up, Chuuya! What happened? Did you guys confess your undying love to each other? Kiss each other silly? Or maybe you just up and eloped?”

Chuuya groans. “We did not elope. He’s just…” He looks toward the bathrooms to see Dazai coming back, who gives a cheerful little wave and then sticks out his tongue. Chuuya flips him off. “My, uh, boyfriend, now.” He mumbles the rest of it, but that doesn’t stop his friends from hearing him.

They erupt in a cacophony of I knew its and hell yeahs just as Dazai sits down next to Chuuya.

”What’d I miss?” he asks, eyes wide.

”They figured us out,” Chuuya mutters, shrugging.

“Oh!” Now his burgundy eyes are sparkling and, well, Chuuya likes that. But then those eyes turn towards his friends and—“You should have seen how Chuuya begged me to give him a chance.”

”I did not!” Chuuya jerks up, glaring at Dazai. He takes back every nice thought he just had about this dumbass.

“Yup!” Dazai hugs him from the side, squishing their cheeks together. “He said he couldn’t live without me and that he’s been in love with me ever since the day we met! Isn’t that nice?”

Chuuya does not appreciate how everyone is laughing at him right now, no matter how much they try to hide it.

”That’s not how it went at all,” he says, grumpily. “I lost a bet, so I had to go on a date with this bastard. Then, when I was gonna let him down easy, he just looked like a lost puppy and somehow we ended up here.”

It devolves from there into a mess of made up stories about how they got together— “Chuuya stole someone’s wedding ring and proposed!” and “Dazai put on a fuckin’ dog costume and pretended to be a stray in a box, just to get my attention. It was not cute.”—before their friends start pitching in with their own dating stories.

As they leave the food court, Dazai grabs Chuuya’s hand and gives him a little, private smile before going back to spouting bullshit.

Chuuya thought he would feel weird about them knowing, but now he’s just happy he can hold his boyfriend’s hand at the mall with his friends.

[whinlatter]

Hi! I love your writing think it’s phenomenal work. It’s really such a genuine and intimate depiction of Ginny. I also see you have an appreciation of Dean Thomas. I’d love to know why you think Ginny was attracted to him? What do you think their relationship was like and how did it help them for their next partners? I just think that pairing was really interesting and there’s not enough of them being friends.

❗️ Warning... big Dean & Ginny meta incoming ❗️

Firstly - thank you so so much for reading and enjoying my work (phenomenal!!! I’ll dine out on that all week - can't thank you enough).

Secondly - what great questions! This was such a fun thing to think through. Dean’s a quietly lovely character I have so much time for, despite being very underdeveloped in canon (cutting his arc to exclusively favour Neville’s? Side-eye forever). I'm definitely a paid up member of the Dean Thomas Fan Club.

Anyway….. the questions were so good I wrote this too-long meta on Ginny and Dean before going to bed because I apparently… cannot be stopped?

Why was Ginny attracted to Dean?

I think for this question it’s important to think about the timing of when Ginny and Dean became close and when they got together, and especially what Ginny was looking for during and after her relationship with King of Negging, Michael Corner. There are three weeks between the break-up with Michael and Gin getting together with Dean, so we can assume Ginny and Dean had already become close and maybe a little flirty when she was with Michael (Ginny Weasley likes to give herself a nice four-week breather between boyfriends, usually just in time to watch the early summer weather roll in. I for one respect the work rate and the consistency.)

Ginny is with Michael until late in her fourth year, until they break up after the Quidditch final in early June. Dean has his OWLs until late June (just realised Ginny dumps Michael right before his exams - this is how you get revenge on a Ravenclaw).

The events in the Department of Mysteries take place the day exams finish (cue iconic scene where Harry’s rushing up to the dormitory to grab his Cloak and save his godfather’s life and Seamus and Dean are trying to get him on the sesh, absolutely rate it, excellent from the lads). Ginny’s going out with Dean by the time she gets the train home, probably by the end of June.

Given the short turnaround time between relationships, I think it’s likely Ginny and Dean became close during the rest of the school year, where she was able to learn the following things about him (and implicitly compare him with Michael as Michael revealed himself to be, as the great prophet Ronald foresaw, ‘a bit of an idiot’):

Dean Thomas knows right from wrong (and really, really can’t stand Dolores Umbridge). In their first lesson with Umbridge, Dean is by far the person in the class who stands up to Umbridge the most after the trio (he actually comes out swinging a lot more than Ron does). He immediately subs in for Harry when Umbridge refuses to answer any more of Harry’s questions. He defends Lupin and Crouch-as-Moody when Umbridge criticises them (describing Crouch-as-Moody as a maniac but saying ‘we still learned loads’ is extremely funny - Dean's pedagogical expectations are low). Dean is an extremely enthusiastic DA member, he and Ginny often arrive at meetings or take part in dinnertime conversations about the DA together, and I think they likely became mates because they’re passionate about what the DA is trying to do. We know Gin likes a boy with a moral compass, a backbone, and a good sense of outrage in the face of injustice. (I cut this out of a much lengthier first draft of chapter one of Beasts, which had all the DA at the graduation ceremony, but this was their interaction in response to another character acting up: ‘[Ginny] feels an old rush of affection for Dean, a man who always had a good scowl in him when it mattered.’)

Dean’s a sweetheart, even if he’s a bit hopeless. Dean’s a character who is often trying to make people feel better about things and trying to give a bit of comfort – emphasis on trying, because he’s not always good at knowing exactly what to say. I think this is something Ginny would really value – she’s someone who, for all her fire, tries to comfort and support the people around her. I reckon she’s got a soft spot for a man with a heart in the right place and a chronic inability to find the right words to express it. ('“Don’t worry about it, Harry,” Dean muttered, hoisting his schoolbag onto his shoulder. “He’s just . . .” But apparently he was unable to say exactly what Seamus was, and after a slightly awkward pause followed him out of the room.' OotP, 221 - does this not sound like how Harry would try and comfort someone?) 👀

Dean is kind to the underdog. Dean is often seen hanging around with or partnering up with Neville, and in DH, we’ll also see Dean be very kind towards Luna. I think Ginny rates people who are kind to those who are socially awkward and excluded.

Relatedly... Dean loves Remus Lupin. I wrote about this a bit in this short reflection on Remus (and am writing about this at the moment so don’t want to get too spoilery if you’re reading Beasts…), but I have a feeling being Remus Lupin’s biggest fan would be a sure fire way to get a text back from Ginny Weasley.

Dean’s into sports. Like her soulmate, Ginny’s into fellow jocks (I think it's implied that Michael Corner was also on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team – three for three on Quidditch players, Ginevra, if you were on Love Island I’d say you have a type). I think she’d also be amused and endeared by Dean’s die-hard commitment to West Ham - she is Arthur Weasley’s daughter, after all, and she probably enjoys teasing him about how crap football sounds. (That bit in PS/SS where Dean’s yelling ‘send him off, ref!’ – 10/10 excellent Dean content). Also Dean does not seem threatened by Ginny’s Quidditch abilities, but instead just really wants to be on the team with her too, which is a nice change from Michael Corner, the Jack Berger of Hogwarts Quidditch. (Sorry Michael, I know you end up a gold star goodie by DH, but young Mike is a prick to our girl Gin).

Dean is a laugh. Chuckling at Ernie Macmillan in his Apparition classes, mucking about with mice in Transfiguration, getting the giggles because this Lockhart bloke has set a quiz asking students to name his ideal birthday gift: Dean is both fun and funny. That bit in GoF where Dean describes Warrington in Slytherin as a ‘big bloke who looks like a sloth’ – funny.  The bit later in GoF where Dean rinses Harry for rejecting that curly-haired Hufflepuff girl who wants to go to the ball with him – also funny. Ginny Weasley likes a comedian and she also likes an audience. I think that means a big tick in the Dean Thomas column.

Dean's a creative. This is verging on headcanon territory, but I really do love the idea of Ginny finding her way back to writing in the years after Riddle and the diary. I can see her being drawn to someone who also has this gentle, expressive, artistic side to them.

Dean’s not averse to dealing in contraband Firewhiskey. If you’re a fourteen year old popular girl with a rulebreaking streak, the boy who can source you some Firewhiskey for an end of exams party from a cool kid like Harold Dingle is hot property.

Dean… er, really likes Harry. Not Gin's finest criteria for a boyfriend, but I think In GoF, the man draws Harry flying around the Horntail on his Firebolt and draws Cedric, his rival, with his head on fire. It’s not a hugely good look for Ginny, but I reckon Dean really liking Harry probably, in a strange, back-to-front kind of way, is another vote in his favour (Gin, you're messy, and I love you for it).

What was their relationship like?

I loved thinking about this question! It’s easier to write about why Ginny and Dean broke up than it is to write why they stayed together so long, and what good stuff they took from the relationship. Dean's easily bashed in Hinny fic in all sorts of different ways, and I don't think it really tallies with the really positive impression we get of him in canon. Ginny and Dean spend a lot of time together over the year - eating most of their meals together, training together, spending all of their Hogsmeade time with each other. I know it’s a teenage relationship, but this is still so much time to spend with one person. It also actually takes them quite a while to breakup, even if they’re ‘rocky’ for much longer. There's something to their relationship that must, on some level, have worked quite well. After all, it would have been a lot easier for Ginny to have dumped Dean if he was a crap boyfriend. It’s much harder to dump someone who is a good partner, but not the right partner for you.  

I think that's the problem for Ginny: Dean was kind of perfect for her in lots of ways - but for the person she would have been if Riddle hadn't happened to her, and if the war hadn't happened. Their relationship was clearly based on a lot of mutual attraction and chemistry (that kiss Ron and Harry saw was intense, lads - there's a reason Harry was threatened by it, after all). I think Dean was proud as hell of Ginny, especially on the Quidditch pitch (he's so excited to tell her he's going to be on the team with her!). I think he would think she's super cool, and I like fics and headcanons about Dean that show him trying to internalise his feelings about his own dad into doing right by his girlfriend, even if that means overshooting and being overly chivalrous and over-protective with Gin. I think one of the reasons Ginny stayed in the relationship so long is because they genuinely got on, had a laugh with each other, and fancied each other, in a way that she would feel conflicted about when she still feels drawn to Harry.

Really I think it's Dean being so great that is the problem for Ginny. If she's with this really great guy and she's still feeling restless and like something's missing, she knows that means she's still not over Harry, and that means she's in trouble. I think it's why Ginny sabotages the relationship, in very understandable ways, and in the end she finds herself getting the ick over little things, and picks a fight to end it rather than come clean about being in love with someone else. (No judgement: again, messy girl representation is important).

Ultimately, I think Harry is perfect for the Ginny that actually exists, and Dean would be a good match for a hypothetical Ginny where there was no Harry, who doesn't have a family in the resistance, who doesn't have all this trauma from what happened with the diary, and who isn't shaped and forged by a childhood at war. Until DH, Dean doesn't seem to know anything about the Weasleys' involvement in the Order. We have no evidence anyone other than Harry, the Weasleys, Dumbledore and Hermione ever knew Ginny was possessed by Riddle, and I don't know that Ginny would volunteer the information to Dean. (The only reason she brings it up to Harry in OotP and again in HBP isn't because she wants emotional support for it - she only brings it up to try and help him. This is not a subject she talks openly about even with the person who knows most about what went down). This lack of knowledge about crucial parts of Ginny's life would mean huge gaps in understanding between them - not gaps that are Dean's fault, but that Ginny doesn't try to get him to bridge. Dean can't meet Ginny where she's at emotionally at the point in the series where they get together, in many ways because he's much closer to a normal teenager than she has been able to be up to that point. At the end of the day, Ginny's always going to want to be with the strange guy racing to the Department of Mysteries to rescue a loved one and fight Death Eaters on a Friday night than a nice normal guy who is planning on drinking his own weight in Firewhiskey to celebrate him finishing his Wizarding GCSEs.

How did it help them for their next partners?

I think Ginny would always speak highly of Dean, appreciate that he made her feel loved and someone a boyfriend should be proud of, and I think she would feel some guilt about what went down. I think, eventually, Dean would acknowledge that he didn’t fully understand Ginny and what she was going through, and that he couldn't have been able to meet her needs in the same way Harry could. (I do think this would take a while, though - on the way out, Dean would be understandably very bitter, even if bitterness would be quickly surpassed by the much more serious escalation in circumstances in the war for an apparent Muggleborn. Thinking about it, Dean Thomas had a terrible 1996. Man got dumped and then within three months was homeless and on the run from a murderous fascist regime trying to do him in. Like, I know this is very much not funny but… if a man I had shared a bedroom with for six years and called a friend publicly scooped my ex from me from under my nose, dumped her a few weeks later for mysterious reasons, and then I had to look at his face everywhere I looked on wanted posters, I would be a lot more mad at Harry Potter than Dean Thomas ends up being).

Ultimately, though, I think both would look back on the relationship as a sort of sweet teenage thing, with a lot of warmth and humour to it, probably some sweet confidence-boosting intimacy early on, and a bit of a lesson that you can't make someone be the right person for you. I like to think Ginny and Dean end up mates, in the end, and that she's always rooting for him to find someone great.

[eerna]

okay wait actually now that we're on the book-series-strengths-and-shortcomings-train what do you love most about tlt and tlc? (multiple answers bonus)

HOHO A COMBO

TLC: 1) Friendship not being secondary to romance!! The series' main theme is love. In the grand finale the big bad taunts the MC about love... but she doesn't use her boyfriend, no, she uses her best friend. This is made even more powerful because by all means, the best friend was meant to be the secondary love interest by all rules of 2012 YA, but NO he is JUST A FRIEND and it is not treated as "something less". 2) Team building!!!! Oh my god!!!! Building onto point 1, but it needs its own point. Rarely does a fictional team of main characters feel as natural as the Rampion Crew. This is even more impressive because the 9 of them don't appear in the same room until the end of the series. Even though the team consists of 4 couples and 1 single, everyone has a dynamic with everyone, they have arcs that aren't tied exclusively to their partner but also someone else on the team, they interact with each other freely. 3) The wide range of characters! I am a sucker for a "team of girls totally different from each other saves the world" setup, and TLC does it perfectly. I think this is one of the best YA series out there because of how much it empowers different kinds of girls. The guys are also easy to tell apart even at first read, and I sooo appreciate that at least one of them isn't conventionally attractive (anymore). 4) It's so funny. I love these books and how funny they are. They hit the perfect balance between a fun teen adventure and a heartfelt emotional story. 5) This is one of the least "Here's what REALLY happened" series I've read. A bunch of times major things influence characters' thoughts and opinions, but those things are fake and never revealed as fake, OR the characters never learn some big things that could change their opinions at all. Seeing how impacted Winter was when she realized Levana truly loved her father, when I KNOW what really happened, always shakes me to my core - and Winter never learns the truth!!! Everyone who could explain what really happened is dead!! Winter will forever go on thinking at least her father had a marriage of love!!! And why should she learn the truth, really, it would only serve as yet another sad plot twist that traumatizes her even deeper. 6) Levana. I am not usually a villain girlie, but Levana absolutely slaps. She is simultaneously disgusting, horrible, and pitiful. Usually if I like the villain it's because he has something smart to say, but Levana doesn't, I can't relate to her or see things from her perspective... But the leads can! Levana seems to carry all the trauma and complexes of our leads, but she crumbled under them, showing Cinder what she might have become if not for her loved ones.

TLT: 1) Isn't afraid of people not getting it!! Do you understand how refreshing this is to see in a mainstream popular series??? The book doesn't act like you are an idiot, it acts like you are some sort of a genius, and you feel illiterate until you realize NO ONE got it the first time around and you're gonna have to do lots of rereading and thinking to get it. This makes it impossible to get into for some people, but so what. So what!!! What matters is that it rewards those who stay and put in the work!! 2) Absolutely bonkers insane relationships. No one can be "just a friend" in these, we need 1000 different layers of trauma and tenderness surrounding everyone. 3) Pathetic women. These books are the epitome of all the worst parts of yourself laid bare. These characters act out the most shameful, horrible memories and impulses of your heart, all the while spouting poetics about the entire situation. And it is pure catharsis!! It is so rare to see female characters depicted this pathetic without it being torture porn. 4) Writing style. It's the perfect example of how realism doesn't matter if you're good with your words. No one in these books talks like a real life person, but they are all distinct from each other and filled with personality. Every book has several lines that have the power to reduce me a to a sobbing mess just from hearing them. Just. The writing style is so good that I even enjoy reading INTERVIEWS with the author, she has a way of speaking that keeps you engaged and makes her sound so smart. 5) Each book is its own thing, keeping you on your toes, but they all still feel cohesive. It also means that even if the final book sucks, I won't have any hangups about it, since I will just be able to reread the first 3. Honestly even if AtN never comes out, I won't feel like I wasted any time, because the books are so fantastic and so worth reading that the end of the journey doesn't even matter to me that much - and if you've been here a while, you'll know what a radical statement that is for me. It is so nice to relax and enjoy the ride instead of stressing over my thoughts and opinions aging badly.

[gurugirl]

OH MY GOD

Ranch Hand Harry was one of the best things I've ever read in my life. And that's not an exaggeration. You really have made it worth it to be a member because you continue to just hit us with these amazing stories. No offense to your tumblr fics but every patreon exclusive of yours is better and better. I get why you keep these behind a paywall.

I know it's a one shot but I would love to see little blurbs of them as their relationship grows. I can tell everyone over on patreon agrees.

But let me swoon over ranch hand harry for a mo.

First of all he's so patient with her. He sees her with her boyfriend but yet he's still so sweet to her in every way. And I love how he puts Jessie in his place every time. The one liners are genius and it just makes Harry so hot that he's so confident. At first I was like - oh Harry's kind of rude to her boyfriend but that changed fast when I realized her boyfriend was an abusive douche. So then how could we not root for Harry?

This whole part 🥺

“Love you in a sundress,” his mumbled, breathy words spoken against your lips had you grinning widely as his big palms kneaded at the outer plush of your thighs. “Yeah? You love me?” Your giggles belted louder when his fingers found your ribs higher up. “Sweetheart, you know how I feel.”

And when Harry says this to Tyler

“Better be nice to your girlfriend or someone else’ll do it for you,” Harry stepped right in front of Jessie as he put his hat on his head.

The whole thing just had me giggling and grinning like an idiot.

The tension between them was perfect. You always do tension so well in your stories. I love how it feels so natural and as if I'm going through all of this as if you've written me into the story.

oh! And this is a little off top but that reminded me I have been meaning to mention this, that as a dark skin girl this means so much to me when you refrain from talking about YN blushing pink or her long soft hair or whatever things I'll never have/do. Not that I don't enjoy the physical description of a white girl cause I don't actually imagine myself as the reader normally, but I can tell you are conscious of this and I want to thank you, especially with all your writing lately you are very inclusive.

Back to ranch hand harry. I need to ask too, do you know much about ranching or that lifestyle? I felt like I was reading an experts take on some of the things. Also the way they talk you can tell they have that country thing going.

I keep getting off subject and now I've lost track but I just wanted to tell you how much I love that one. I love Harry in this so much. Love how you built the story up and made the characters all feel unique and fresh.

Never stop doing what you do. You make my whole day when i see that you've posted. Thank you so much.

AHhhhhh!! When I saw this feedback I had to read it over and over again just to be sure I was reading it correctly because I'm in awe. Like this doesn't feel like it's meant for me but you are talking about the fic I posted so it has to be right? 🙈

Okay... so wow. I am super flattered you loved it so much. I absolutely loved writing it. Very much had fun with the whole thing. I don't know a lot about ranching but I did grow up in the southern midwest in the US and cowboy culture is a big thing from where I grew up and I know a few things but I was never into it that much. Most of what I wrote was googled or something I saw on TV 😂

And as for trying to be inclusive - that's so good to hear you feel this way. Someone left a comment on one of my tumblr fics kind of a while back pointing out something about how I described Y/n and it made me realize I need to be careful of how I do that when I write her if I have her as reader insert and not an OC. So I appreciate you've noticed this! It's always my intent to make everyone feel seen.

I'm over the moon with this feedback. Thank you so so much hon. Absolutely blown away by how nice this is. You have no idea how much this just made my day 🥰

ps... tehe!! I think you meant jessie when you said tyler - tyler is from ex-boyfriend's dad but i get the mix-up. there are so many loser boyfriends i'm writing lately 😂

xoxo

[amielxxxangel]

Finney and bruce but the teams they root for in baseball go against each other for the championship. It. Gets. Violent.

They would DRAG their bfs to watch with them and as much as billy, griffin, robin and vance don’t want to they watch it just to see it all go down.

Finney and Bruce would bicker during the game a lot while the rest watch and eat popcorn. their argument would be like

Finney: IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME AND WERE A GOOD BOYFRIEND YOU’D BE SUPPORT MY TEAM!

Bruce: NO! IF YOU LOVE ME AND WERE A GOOD BOYFRIEND YOU’D SUPPORT MY TEAM

Vance: *eating popcorn watching the two bicker* hey robin pass me the pop corn

Robin: *doing the same* sure mi Amor, here

Billy: *worried* should- should we stop them

Griffin: *cuddling Billy’s dog and eating chips* nope this is more fun to watch than the game itself

Finney: …… I thought I knew you.

Bruce: I thought I did too.

Tears would definitely be shed by the two boys white the others just watch like it’s one of the tela novellas robin makes them watch. And whenever they try to make any of them join their side they just deny them and say they’re trying to “peacefully watch the game”.

By the end they would have made up and probably made out and fixed their quarrel that the others found hilariously stupid. And by the end it’s just be like.

Vance: *vance cuddling with robin* are you guys done?

Finney and bruce: *grumpily cuddling with each-other* yes. Yes we are.

Griffin: *cuddling with billy* it was fun while it lasted I guess.

And they’d all just stay there and probably fall asleep🤭

Hope you guys liked this it was really fun writing this and I couldn’t stop giggling imagining how it would go.

[ask-ttp]

someone asked if the boys have nicknames for each other but i ended up deleting the ask by accident so now you can all have this

[dandunn]

Fujigoe 17 or 19 (you pick :))

Don't slap me for this, I'm the angst king and I warned you.

cw: mentions of the sex thing being done

17. things you said that I wish you hadn't

or

19. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

Happiness and guilt go hand-in-hand for Fujiko.

She wasn't sure how old she was when she realised that she had never felt happiness without some kind of caveat, something that whispered in her ear that it wasn't meant to last, or she hadn't earned it, or that some horrible event would come along to rip it out of her hands.

Thieving had been her way of reaching out and attempting to grab happiness with both hands, no matter the method she had to use to obtain it.

And it worked.

Something about telling yourself that you deserved happiness kept the guilt at bay, made the voice easier to drown out. That you deserve freedom and peace of mind, and you have the right to cast out anyone in your life who tries to stand in the way of that.

And yet, in spite of her convictions, sometimes it comes back.

She's happy, when the short-haired samurai in her arms has been through complete hell.

It's morning, and they're in her bed. A low bed big enough to spoon her motorcycle on if she felt like it, crisp white sheets and a wide window looking out onto a snow-dusted inner garden. It's warm and she hasn't shared a bed with anyone without having to fuck them in some time, which makes a nice change.

Goemon is one of the few men in her life she can share a bed with without worrying about waking up with hands grabbing at her, which should probably be the bare minimum, but even by those fucked up standards it makes her appreciate him all the more.

(Jigen is another one of those men, but it only happened when he was injured, and she could also cuddle with a hairy, cigarette smoke soaked draft-excluder and enjoy it just as much)

Fujiko can tell when the man at her side is awake when his slow, even breathing is broken by a sharp inhale, jolting slightly before he stretches and relaxes once again.

"Goemon, are you happy?" she asks, knowing he is the type to be instantly alert when he wakes, even if he doesn't bother opening his eyes.

"Yes, I am at peace."

She smiles, "I'm happy too."

He opens one eye, then closes it again, smiling, "I am glad."

Even hearing him say it out loud, she still feels uneasy. He's never going to be the same samurai he was, never going to be as strong as before. If he can pick himself up after what happened to his body, it'll be a miracle. And Fujiko feels-

"Fuck, dammit." she mutters, fat tears rolling down her cheeks - she's crying again.

So, so guilty.

Of all the things Goemon has done for the sake of his pride, this is up there with the stupidest. All three of her boys: so very pig headed and idiotic.

She feels her boyfriend's fingers touch her chin to push her face up. When she looks at him, his face is blurred by her tears.

"I thought you said you were happy." Goemon says softly.

"I am, I'm happy and sad at the same time. It's a strange feeling."

She sniffs, wipes her eyes and the image of him clears, all dark soulful eyes and cuts and scrapes, burn marks and bandages.

He had wandered back into her life like a cat - a cat with one less life, but not any less vibrant and alive.

They haven't made love since she brought him back to her hideout, but as Goemon laboriously shifts over to pull her against him, her body quickly (and enthusiastically) gets used to the idea.

She gives his wrecked body one more look over, before biting her lip, "I'm just so happy you're alive."

He smiles at her again, and then they make love without needing to discuss it. They both want it.

She could never be exclusive with anyone, but dammit if Goemon doesn't come close to making her wish she was that sort of person.

He makes the guilt fade into a barely audible background hum, because as long as he's happy, there's no reason to be guilty.

[k-llama-llama]

Misread

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Tori needs Hyunjin’s help clearing up some misunderstandings.

A/N: Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“I can’t believe we’re finally here.” Minho grinned.

Tori limped along behind him. “I can’t believe they’re making me wear these heels.”

Minho looked down at her shoes. “I thought it was just for our entrance and exists.”

“They are, but they still hurt.” Tori grumbled. 

They had officially arrived for their first day of filming for Kingdom, and Tori was so excited. The fact that they were finally able to film meant the world after a year of having to postpone everything. Tori wasn’t even that upset about the heels that she’d been handed. But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to find something to complain about.

“Will you carry me?” She asked.

“What? No.” He shook his head.

“Just to the dressing room?” She pouted. “You don’t want my feet to be sore for our performance, do you?”

He gave her a very unimpressed look, but relented. He bent down in front of her, allowing her to hop onto his back. “Just to the dressing room.” He reminded her. “Not an inch further.”

“That’s fine, I’ll make Felix carry me back to the set.” She pinched his cheek.

The dressing rooms were very close by, and the door to theirs and the one next to theirs was wide open. 

“Who is next to us?” She whispered, keeping her voice low to avoid disturbing any of the other groups.

“Ateez, I think.” Minho replied. “I think that’s what I heard Hyunjin say.”

Tori blanched. She’d been in pretty constant contact with Seonghwa since their not-date, but they hadn’t seen each other in person. She had no idea where they stood. They were definitely friends but…she felt like their might have been something more. Of course, Felix and Jeongin were the only ones who knew about the entire dilemma, since she didn’t want to risk anything for Kingdom or cause any drama within the group. And she had no idea if Seonghwa had any of the same conflicting feelings, or if the other members of his group were even aware that he’d been talking to her.

“Hey guys!”

Minho bowed, almost dropping Tori and shaking her out of her thoughts. Seonghwa and Hongjoong were leaning out of their door.

“Hey!” Tori said with far too much enthusiasm, hopping off of Minho’s back. “How are you guys?”

“We’re good, you guys ready to perform?” Hongjoong asked with a smile.

“Oh, yeah.” Minho nodded. “We’re psyched.”

Tori glanced at Seonghwa, who was staring at the floor with a serious look on his face. “Seonghwa, how are you?” She asked softly.

“Fine.” He gave her a tight smile. “We need to go get ready.” He ducked back into their dressing room.

“Oh, I guess…” Hongjoong looked confused. “See you guys later.”

Tori felt her heart drop as the door to their dressing room closed.

“What was that about?” Minho asked.

“I’m…not sure.” Tori frowned.

Her emotions must have been clear on her face, because as soon as she’d stepped into their own dressing room Felix went: “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” She dropped into the chair next to him.

“Come on.” He nudged her leg with his own. “What’s wrong?”

“I just saw Seonghwa.”

“Really? That’s great.” He exclaimed. “So why do you look so depressed?”

Tori picked at her nails. “Because he didn’t even look at me, and then couldn’t wait to leave the conversation.”

“What the hell?” Felix sat up. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know.” Tori bit her lip. “Maybe I was too much and now he’s annoyed with me.”

“Not a chance, Tor! He was just as excited to talk to you in all of your messages.” He squeezed her knee. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

Tori recounted the short conversation as quickly as she could, wanting to forget about it. She had to have been an idiot to think that Seonghwa had actually liked her – he’d probably been making fun of her text messages and what a nerd she was to his group.

“Wait wait wait,” Felix shook his head. “You were on Minho’s back?”

“I don’t see why that’s an important detail, but yes.”

“Hm….Hyunjin!” Felix beckoned Hyunjin over.

“What’s going on?” Hyunjin perched himself on the arm of Tori’s chair. “Tor, you okay?”

“Hyunjin you need to keep a secret and then you need to do us a favour.” Felix began.

“Okay…” 

“What are you doing?” Tori hissed.

“Helping you, now shut up.” He smacked her leg. “Okay, Hyunjin. So, this is top secret, but Tori has been kind of sort of talking to Seonghwa.”

“From Ateez?”

“Yes.”

“Well that’s cool.” Hyunjin nodded, clearly not getting it.

Felix rolled his eyes. “So we need you to go over to Ateez’s dressing room, and very casually mention that Tori is like a sister to all of us.”

“Why?”

“Yeah, why?” Tori tilted her head. 

“Because, Park Heechul.” Felix looked exasperated. “You don’t know him that well, so he saw you with Minho and probably misread the situation. So Hyunjin needs to establish that literally none of us are attracted to you.”

“Hyunjin was. So was Chan.” Tori protested.

Hyunjin poked her. “Stop it.”

“Yeah, stop it if you want a new boyfriend.” Felix shook his head at her. “Hyunjin go.”

“Okay.” 

Tori chewed on her pinky as he left the room. “Do you really think that’s all that’s wrong? He might just not like me.”

“He’d be crazy not to like you.” Felix reassured. “You’ll see, this will work.” 

Tori tried to distract herself by going over the choreography for the next hour, but Hyunjin still hadn’t come back. She was sure he’d gotten distracted talking to Ateez, but her anxiety couldn’t handle it.

“Hey, Noona, you have a text message.” Jeongin chucked her phone over to get from where she’d left it charging.

“Who is it?” She asked.

“I dunno.” He shrugged, going back to playing on his own phone.

Tori saw the notification and quickly unlocked her phone.

Seonghwa: Sorry I was weird earlier. I wasn’t feeling good. We still down to get smoothies after filming?

Tori grinned.

“So I was right?” Felix asked, noticing her smile.

She blushed. “Maybe.”

Tori:Totally. I can’t wait.

[literaphobe]

istg sadf dnf had the discussion of "yeah we're exclusive bc we prefer each other and wouldn't want to fuck anyone else" and big brain dream goes "so we're fuck buddies right?" like?? bro you missed the perfect opportunity, wth u doin? y'all already kiss and cuddle and fuck like a couple would JUST SAY BOYFRIEND AND ASK HIM OUT U IDIOT AAAAAAAAAAAAA.

very well written and thought out fic i'm very content and proud 😌 one can tell how much time u invested for the characterizations to be accurate which i can very much appreciate. the frustration i feel is also the same. well done👍🏻🎈

its too much of a hassle 🙄 they already know what the other person likes 🙄 why even bother 🙄

also THANK YOUUUU thank you for the appreciation i love it very much ^_^

[bakuthedeku]

Constant Competition

Words: 1,000

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

“The obstacle course today was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Was good. I’m better th‘n you, though,” Katsuki doesn’t bother lifting his head to speak clearly.

“Are not. I bet I did the course faster than you,” Deku says and shifts about, wrapping both arms more securely around Katsuki’s waist. Katsuki hums appreciatively.

“Nuh-uh. Sensei timed it.”

“But did you check the time?”

“...Doesn’t matter.”

--

In which Katsuki and Deku are competitive idiots in love.

Read on AO3 or see the fic below !

The sun burns Katsuki’s back as he sits on the grass, head pounding with the shouts and action around him. He pours the now lukewarm water from his bottle over his face and swallows down the dregs, parched beyond reason and overheated to the point he—literally—might combust.

In front of him, half of his class is taking their turn on the training course, burning their palms on scalding concrete obstacles and screaming at each other as they all vie for first place. Naturally, Katsuki had won the course in the first heat, and now takes his rest as the second half of his class race against one another.

Deku is part of the second group, running ahead of the pack. He flits through each obstacle with ease and agility, battling it out with Momo and Hanta for first.

“Come on, Deku, don’t let ‘em catch up!” Katsuki calls, half encouraging and half goading.

Deku doesn’t spare Katsuki a glance, but he does flip him off as he goes by. Katsuki laughs to himself; he loves when the little shit shows his backbone.

The cheers around them reach a crescendo when Deku reaches the final obstacle, gaining distance on Hanta and beginning the task before Momo. The rules for the last obstacle are different from the others on the course; it’s a rock-wall everyone must climb to reach the finish line, and there’s no quirk use allowed.

For Momo and Hanta, who dominated the course through their quirks, this climb will be a struggle.

But for Deku? The strong little shit-nerd Katsuki calls a boyfriend? His win is already secured.

Deku all but flies up the wall, thickly muscled arms flexing beautifully as he climbs. At the top, he crosses the finish line many long seconds before anyone else. He promptly keels over, sweaty and out of breath.

When Deku finally gets back up to his feet, he twists around until he spots Katsuki and grins, raising his arms in the air in victory. Katsuki rolls his eyes and waits for his favourite idiot to make his way down from the course.

“I wooon!” Deku calls, wiggling about in a stupidly cute little victory dance.

“I noticed, nerd,” Katsuki scoffs, but his gruff voice does nothing to hide the dopey smile that stretches his lips. He gives up the charade with a sigh. “Good job.”

“Thank you!” Deku runs to close the distance and throws his arms around Katsuki’s shoulders, hugging him tight.

Katsuki makes a disgusted noise and peels his sweaty boyfriend off him. “You aren’t touching me again until you’ve showered.”

“But cuddles,” Deku pouts, and Katsuki would pinch his round cheeks if they weren’t surrounded by classmates.

“Hygiene,” Katsuki says firmly.

Deku groans, but complies. They head to the showers, and Katsuki knows exactly where his boyfriend’s mind has gone. When he strips and makes his way to his ahower, he speaks before Deku can give him that look of his: “Sweaty showers aren’t sexy, nerd. Go get clean!”

“You’re no fun,” Deku says, unsurprised, and walks to his own, separate, shower.

“I’m not getting us expelled,” Katsuki calls across stalls.

Deku grumbles incoherently in response, but lets Katsuki shower in peace.

Afterwards, they wind up in Deku’s nerd-room, cuddling on his nerd-bed. Deku’s hair is dripping onto his pillow, and Katsuki is busy pretending he isn’t being watched by hundreds of unseeing All Might eyes or lying on All Might-themed bedsheets.

Instead of commenting once again on the weirdness of his boyfriend’s room decoration, Katsuki rests his tired body on top of Deku, relaxing in the quiet of the room. Moments like this are few and far between, nowadays.

So of course, Deku has to break the silence. “The obstacle course today was fun, wasn’t it?”

Katsuki grunts his agreement, smooshing his face into Deku’s chest. He’s wearing one of Katsuki’s t-shirts, an old one he stole months ago. It smells like he’s washed it recently, and Katsuki is pleasantly surprised to notice the pretty scent of Deku’s shampoo. He might compliment the nerd for practicing basic hygiene for once.

“Words, Kacchannn,” Deku teases.

Or not. “Was good. I’m better th‘n you, though,” Katsuki doesn’t bother lifting his head to speak clearly.

“Are not. I bet I did the course faster than you,” Deku says and shifts about, wrapping both arms more securely around Katsuki’s waist. Katsuki hums appreciatively.

“Nuh-uh. Sensei timed it.”

“But did you check the time?”

“...Doesn’t matter.”

Deku pauses, and Katsuki glances up to see him pouting. “We can certainly check later, right? It will prove I beat you.”

Katsuki pokes at his stupid, soft cheek. “It’ll prove I beat you.”

With a whine and a pathetic little wiggle, Deku shakes his head. “Will not.”

“Will too.”

“Will not.”

“Will too.” Katsuki squeezes Deku tight, smiling into his chest to hide it from his boyfriend.

Deku laughs, rocking Katsuki on his chest with it. The sweet sound seeps into Katsuki, building up bubbly and golden in him until he can’t stop himself from joining in.

“Such a sore loser, Kacchan,” Deku says when they calm down, pressing a quick kiss into Katsuki’s hair.

Katsuki tuts. “The only loser here is you, dumbass,” he jabs Deku in the side.

Pinch. Deku blinks innocently when Katsuki looks up to glare at him. “Bastard.”

A sweet, secretly cocky smile is the last straw for Katsuki, and then the pair are wrestling on the bed, rough in the way hero students are in spite of pulling their punches.

Deku manages to get on top and straddle Katsuki, but Katsuki bucks him off before the little bastard can get the pin. Grunts and giggles fill the air, Katsuki flips them back over and struggles to keep Deku’s legs pinned to the bed-

And suddenly they’re on the floor, wheezing breathless laughter and curled up together.

“I think that counts as a tie,” Deku pants, and gives him a brilliant, dopey grin.

“Tie it is,” Katsuki concedes.

-- 

Thanks for reading! If you enjoy my work, consider checking out my Patreon and supporting me! I have some exclusive and early access fics up there. - But beware the 18+ warning, as there is nsfw content behind the paywall: no minors allowed!

[katsubiatch]

Hopelessly Devoted-2

Warnings: Bar Shenanigans, Alcohol consumption, descriptions of medical events

Authors Note: I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this out! I have a 11 month old and a full time job, plus we recently found out so bad news about my father in laws health so I've been taking time for family. However now this is finally out I hope everyone likes it and I've already started working on the next part which I can hopefully get out soon. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around!! Also just a note at the start of each chapter, not sure how many there will be, I am going to add in a part that will tie later into the story!

Pain. Indescribable pain soaked into each part of your body, molding into each crack and crevice. You thought you were screaming but you couldn't quite tell. When your ryes finally opened the bright white lights almost blinded you. There was a flurry of activity around you, people moving, your body parts being moved and needles poking into you. "You're alright, it's going to be okay. Just breath for me, okay Y/N?" You heard to your left, and your head felt heavy as you looked over to a familiar face of one of your coworkers. She looked like she was going to cry. Then you heard some familiar words that usually meant bad news. "Pressures are dropping, we need to get an ultrasound. She might be having internal bleeding!"

There were a few words that you wanted to get out, but your tongue felt thick and sluggish. Your brain not working as quickly as you would like but soon you were fading back into that black nothingness where there was no pain and you could rest. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One date lead to two, two to three and so on. The last thing you expected was to be exclusively dating a pro hero. Especially not such a controversial pro hero who was explosive both literally and emotionally. You hadn't really kept up with pros before but since you started dating Dynamight, or Katsuki as you were now able to call him, you noticed him in more and more interviews and managed to catch him on the news more often than you ever had before. He was... sweet and kind when he wanted to be, but he was also brash and rude at times. You were able to see past that most of the time. You took it in stride, brushed off his comments that weren't meant to be rude but came off that way. He showed his love and appreciation in strange ways, and you just had to decipher it.

Of course your relationship was kept out of the news, quiet and secret. You didn't mind too much, after all you were not about fame and wanting people to know your name. Katsuki said that it was safer that way, no villain's would come after you to get to him. You wouldn't be under constant threat of being kidnapped or killed. Besides it also kept your name out of the tabloids and gossip columns with people speculating on who you were and if you were just with Katsuki because of his fame or money. However there were a few people he wanted to let in on the secret.

You were currently sitting at the same bar you'd met at, sipping at your drink while Katsuki sat next to you and peeled the label off his beer bottle. It was hard to tell when he was anxious but this was a safe assumption that he was at least a little nervous. You were going to be meeting his friends, ones from high school that he'd managed to stay in touch with. Though you were sure that was mostly because they all pretty much worked together as pros. "Don't be so nervous. I'm sure it will be fine." You rolled your eyes, moving to place your hands around his, stilling them as you looked up at him. "I'm pretty sure I've met most of them before at the hospital. So I mean.. I already slightly know them." You shrugged and went back to your drink. The coolness from the ice a stark contrast to the warmth of Katsuki's hands. "It's not that... they're just idiots and they'll probably drive you away. I mean they're a lot to handle." That was an understatement but Y/N wasn't worried. If his friends were too much she could always excuse herself for a few minutes. Besides how bad could they be? "Don't worry about that, I'm sure there isn't anything they could say that would keep me away from you." You smiled, leaning over to place a kiss against Bakugou's lips, which caused him to become flustered and turn a shade of pink. He wasn't a huge fan of PDA so you didn't often push but he indulged you sometimes.

"Uh oh, Bakubro caught kissing in public!" A loud voice sounded to he left of you two, causing you to look over at a very energetic blond. You'd seen him quite a few times getting stitched up and flirting with nurses. "Hi, I'm..." He started but trailed off when you interrupted him.

"Denki Kaminari. I've seen you in the ER a few times, you're the one who.. gets kind of dumb when you overuse your quirk, right?" You asked, giving him a smile. "Ooohhh that's rough bro." Another tall man with bright red hair and built like a God in your opinion, and could be none other than.. "Eijiro Kirishima, nice to meet you." "Okay that's enough small talk!" Bakagou grumbled as he looked over at the three of you, causing you to laugh a touch. "Where are Pinky and Plain face?" He inquired. "On their way, got stuck at the office." Kaminari pouted from his spot at the table. Things went much better than Bakugou could have imagined. You got along with his friends almost too well and he almost regretted introducing you to them. You were tipsy with Mina and Kaminari, and he was sure that the three of you were coming up with a bad idea which you were, and ended up with the three of you absolutely butchering karaoke. But Bakugou didn't care, things felt right and he was glad you got along with his friends.

It was a year into your relationship, and the two of you had moved in together. It wasn't often that you got to spend together. With Bakugou wanting to do everything he could to become number 1 and with your crazy work schedule it just made sense. Some days you only saw each other in passing, or the rare night off you would spend being lazy and sleeping. It wasn't ideal but neither of you would ask the other to give up things. So you took your one or two nights a week that you actually got to sleep next to your boyfriend over nothing, and didn't complain. You didn't complain but things started to turn sour at one point when Bakugou caught you and your coworker standing a bit to close to one another to read a chart. His mind had gone crazy with jealousy and thoughts of you cheating on him. The lack of time spent together drove him crazy and cause a lot of insecurities in him.

"Are you kidding me? I'm cheating on you with Arata? Seriously?" You managed to get out after he finally voice his accusations aloud. You'd just gotten home from a long shift, almost twenty four hours and this was how you were greeted. Bakugou sitting at the kitchen table ready for an interrogation the second you walked in. "I don't know where you got your information or what you think is true but you're wrong." You scoffed, shaking your head and moving to pull your shoes off.

"I'm wrong? Then why is that creep always hanging around you?Every time I'm at the hospital he's standing right next to you." Bakugou was ready for any excuse, anything that you had to say. "Because he's my friend?" You voiced as a question, going about your routine for when you got home from work. Getting dinner, peeling off your scrubs and taking a hot shower. "We work together, and he's my friend. I've never even thought of him like that." You scrunched up your nose, shaking your head and moving towards the bathroom. "Just a friend?" "Yes! Just a friend! He's a doctor in the ER and we work together. Most of the time we're working on the same cases." You shrug starting to undress as you look back over at him. "I promise that we aren't running around the hospital having secret sex rendezvous. It isn't like Grey's Anatomy." You sigh and undo your hair from the bun you'd piled it in halfway through your shift. "Fine, I'll believe you." Bakugou huffed, smiling down at your naked form, his hands moving to your hips. "That's all I ask." You beam up at him, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, "Mmm now why don't you join me in the shower?" Little didn't you know that this wouldn't be the last time you had this conversation.

[kindahoping4forever]

Dress // Ashton Irwin

Part of the fun of using prompt lists is finding ways to incorporate everything when someone requests multiple prompts in one piece. I had the skeleton for this story fairly quick and as always, @cal-puddies​ was a problem solving queen and helped me fine tune it into something that made sense. I wrote this maybe a month ago and got caught up tinkering with it and am so glad to finally get it out into the world!

Prompts: “I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.“ and “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.” and “Wow, I didn’t realize you were that… Flexible.”

Warnings: Supportive/protective/flirty friend!Ash, the slightest drop of angst, brief mention of unnamed character cheating, ridiculous amounts of sexual tension, spontaneous (but protected!) backstage sex

Word Count: 3k (on the nose. The 🤡 nose of course)

Masterlist

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

Sign up for my taglist!

————-

“I can kill him if you want,” Ashton offers.

You consider your friend’s offer. “I mean… I won’t stop you but I also won’t dye my hair and go on the run with you, I just got it to the shade I’ve been wanting.”

“Fake friend,” he scoffs.

Like most nights when you were visiting on tour, you and Ashton sat behind the venue, people watching and talking shit. Tonight’s conversation had a very specific subject: your cheating ex, a record label rep, who you just found out would be attending tonight’s show to scout one of the opening acts.

“I just hate the thought of you having to see that asshole again,” he seethes. “And I hate that I’m the one putting you in that position, as if I haven’t already done enough.”

You met “that asshole” (as Ashton exclusively refers to him) when you visited a 5SOS promo tour he was running so Ash has always felt somewhat responsible for your heartbreak, despite your insistence that he shouldn’t. It was a decent relationship; it never got too serious but you had fun and occasionally felt understood. But towards the end, he was always travelling and long distance made things difficult. Things became even more difficult when you realized he’d been cheating on you basically the entire time. You were hurt but your confidence was broken more than your heart.

You admit you’re nervous about potentially running into your ex but Ash is downright furious so you let him rant. You don’t realize that you’ve gotten lost inside your own head until Ash is snapping his fingers in front of your face. “Obviously I do love listening to myself talk but what I’m saying is for your benefit,” he snarks.

You shake your head. “Sorry. I think you can understand, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

“That’s what I’m saying, I can’t stand seeing you like this.” He pauses and then enthusiastically squeezes your knee. “Here’s what you do: go back to the hotel while we’re at soundcheck, put on something sexy - Oh! That black dress you wore when we all went out in Austin? Do your hair, go all out and he’ll feel like a fuckin idiot if he even catches a glimpse of you.”

“Really?” You ask, skeptically.

“Trust me,” he insists, pulling you out of your seat. “It’ll make you feel good even if you don't see him.”

He’s right and you do feel better trading out your unofficial tour uniform of a messy bun, band merch and jeans for some soft curls, your favorite black slip dress and a pair of tall boots. You never thought of this dress as particularly sexy until Ash mentioned it but as you assess your reflection, you have to agree that it does flatter your body nicely. You throw on the leather jacket that Ash gave you for your birthday and head back to the arena feeling ready to take on the world, or at least your ex-boyfriend.

The guys all hoot and holler at you when they come back to the dressing room after soundcheck. (Ashton, of course, takes credit for your transformation even though all he did was suggest it.) You gratefully accept their sincere compliments, laugh at their hyperbolic ones and by the time they have to leave for their meet and greet, your face hurts from grinning ear to ear and you’ve essentially forgotten you were ever nervous in the first place.

But as they file in afterwards, Ash immediately notices your mood has changed drastically. You’re curled up under a blanket in an easy chair, mindlessly staring at your phone, your hair has been thrown back into a bun and as he tries to get a closer look without being too obvious, he can see your eye makeup is a bit smudged as if you’d teared up, if not full on cried.

He knows you well enough to know that if he hounds you, you’ll shut down and he’ll never find out what’s wrong so he just keeps an eye on you. But you know him well enough to know when he’s going to great lengths to ensure he’s paying you extra attention but not too much. He sits on the arm of your chair even though there’s plenty of actual seats available, he goes out of his way to include you in even the tiniest of conversations and when dinner arrives, he brings you a plate of food without being asked. You’re sure you’ll appreciate it in hindsight but right now you just want to be left alone.

You offer to keep Calum company when he goes out for a cigarette and as you’d hoped, besides a casual “You good?” and a side hug, he lets you stew in peace. When he starts to head back in, you tell him to go ahead, that you need another minute to yourself.

He pauses. “Ash isn’t gonna like that,” he chuckles. “But I’ll head him off best I can.”

Cal’s prediction is correct and you’re not alone for three minutes before Ashton comes barreling outside in search of you; you roll your eyes at the sight of him, fresh out of his ice bath, wet hair hanging in his face, white t-shirt and black shorts clinging to his damp body. You almost catch yourself admiring the spectacle before he starts making his way towards you and you remember how annoyed you are.

“Hey!” He brightly greets you.

“Jesus Christ, Ash,” you snap. “You’re gonna catch cold out here like that and then you’re gonna have to cancel shows and I’m gonna feel like it’s my fucking fault just because you can’t leave me alone for five goddamn minutes.”

His eyes briefly widen at your outburst but he quickly regains his composure and takes your hand. “Come with me,” he says quietly.

He leads you to the band’s warm up room and you throw yourself on the couch with a huff. He snorts and lifts your lower half up, sits close to you and rests your legs in his lap. He taps your thigh, “I’ll leave you alone if you tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh in response.

He tries again, “Don’t tell me you’re still nervous about that asshole because I told you ---”

“I saw him,” you interrupt.

“What? When?”

“While you were at meet and greet. I went out to the bus to get my charger and we passed each other on my way back,” you explain.

Ashton clenches his jaw. “What’d he say to you? I’ll go find him right now, I don’t fucking care.”

“He didn’t say anything,” you say plainly.

“What do you mean?” He asks, confused.

“I mean he looked right at me and didn’t say a word,” you explain. “Like I was nobody, not even worth ‘hello.’ Like I never meant anything to him.”

He comfortingly rubs your legs in his lap and watches you process what you’re feeling.

“I’m not sad, I don’t think. Because fuck that guy, for real,” you contemplate. “I think... I just feel like an idiot for letting him get to me and for caring at all he was going to be here and I really feel like an idiot for going to the trouble of putting on this ridiculous dress ---”

“The dress was an excellent idea, you look amazing,” he insists.

You purse your lips. “I look embarrassing, I hate this fucking thing,” you tug at the material in disgust.

Ashton lightly slaps your thigh in protest. “You love that dress. I love that dress.” Noting your look of disbelief, he smirks and continues. “Listen, it’s a good dress. I’ve had dreams about you in that dress. Like... dreams,” he emphasizes, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

You feel your face getting much warmer much faster than you would’ve expected. You study his expression to try and figure out how serious he is. “Liar,” you determine with a laugh.

“Oh you want details? OK, you first wore it to that label party and I dreamt we were at my place, talking on the couch kind of like this,” he gestures. “And I ran my hand up your legs and played with you under your dress until you begged me to fuck you.”

As you take in his confession, your eyes flicker across his broad frame, all of your fantasies he'd unknowingly starred in running through your mind. You had no doubt you were attracted to each other but you’d always enjoyed the kind of friendship where you both felt comfortable enough to flirt openly without expectation. But this feels like new and dangerous territory. You’re pretty sure you don’t mind it.

“You seemed to remember me wearing it in Austin?” You press the subject, your voice surprising you with how breathy it sounds.

He chews his lip before meeting your eyes. “Dreamt you rode me in a dark corner of that club we were at,” he answers in a low voice. His hand is still absentmindedly stroking your leg, though you are acutely aware it seems to have climbed a couple inches higher since this conversation began.

You’re shocked when you hear your own voice saying, “And when you wake up from these dreams…”

“Hard as a rock,” he offers without hesitation.

His answer hangs in the air as you sit up, resting your arm on the back of the couch behind his head. You’re as close to sitting in his lap as you could be without actually doing it. You’re not sure where the audaciousness comes from but you look him straight in the eyes and ask, “How many times do you think you’ve cum because of me?”

Ashton stares at you a beat longer than you would’ve liked but you never fear that you’ve gone too far. He only breaks eye contact to briefly glance at your tongue darting out to lick your lips; he leans in slightly but has clearly decided to let you lead how far this goes. Finally, you hear his gravelly voice respond, “Far too numerous to count.”

You nod briefly and then you find yourself closing the gap between you. You kiss him with more confidence than you’ve felt all day and your assurance grows as he deepens it with a groan. You tangle a hand in his hair and smile against his mouth when you realize how curly his hair is from air drying post-ice bath. You get lost kissing like this for a few moments before you pull off his shirt and move to lay back down on the couch, wrapping your arm across his broad shoulders in hopes he'll follow you.

He allows you to pull him on top of you and he swiftly adjusts your position so that he can rest between your legs. You're feeling bold so you lick into his mouth and raise your hips against his, electricity running through your body when you hear a slight moan in response and feel his growing arousal through the thin fabric of his shorts. It's your turn to offer up some sounds of pleasure as he focuses his attention on kissing along your jaw and down the length of your throat.

Ash pulls away briefly to search your face for permission as his hand starts to make its way up the skirt of your dress; you guide his hand to lightly brush over your panties and satisfaction flashes across his features when he feels you've started to soak through. You buck into his touch and he takes the hint, dipping into your underwear and running his fingers along your folds.

"Already so wet for me," he teases. "You ever thought about this before?" The large pad of his thumb rubs gentle circles around your clit as you feel two fingertips dancing around your entrance.

You whimper softly into the kiss he offers and he takes that as encouragement to slide his fingers into you. You pull away from his lips and answer with a shrug, “This? A few times.” You rock against his fingers for emphasis. “But not as much as I’ve thought about being filled by your cock,” you banter shamelessly.

He grins at your assertion, hooking his fingers in a way that has you gasping. “Oh, is that what you want?” He pulls his fingers from you, eliciting first a disappointed moan from you and then an aroused one as he promptly sucks them clean. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

Ash hikes your dress up over your hips and works your panties down your legs while you sit up and reach for his backpack on the coffee table across from the couch. You dig for only a few seconds before your hand resurfaces holding a condom. He gives you a surprised look and you toss it to him, snorting, “There’s no way my nosiness even cracks the Top 5 most shocking twists of tonight.”

He pulls his shorts down enough to get his cock out and rolls the condom on, chuckling. “I don’t know if I’d call us finally fucking shocking,” he comments.

“I guess that’s true,” you pull him into a kiss, laughing against his lips. “You’ve been trying to get it in for a while.”

He shakes his head fondly and settles himself over you once again; he pushes in and you both groan at the sensation. While you adjust, he pecks along your neck and the tops of your breasts where your dress has fallen down slightly; you decide you need more of that so you pull the bodice down further, exposing your chest to him. He immediately takes advantage and fits his mouth around a nipple while his hand toys with the other one.

You move your hips against him, signaling that you’re ready for him. He starts trying to build a rhythm and while it feels good, it quickly becomes apparent that the limited space of the couch isn’t giving you enough room to spread and accommodate his large build. It’s a giggly tangle of limbs as you both maneuver to try and determine the best course of action, eventually settling on you resting your legs on his shoulders.

Ashton begins slowly pumping his hips again and you both instantly feel the difference in depth; you moan and grabble at his back, bending your legs further towards yourself to get him closer. He growls at the sight. “Wow... I didn’t realize you were that flexible.”

“Missed opportunity for those dreams you’ve been having,” you tease, digging your nails into his arm as his cock drags against a particularly pleasurable spot.

He picks up speed, thrusting into you hard and deep, your pleased sighs and gentle whines spurring him to move faster and fuck you rougher. He notices you biting your lip to keep from crying out and decides that simply won’t do. 

“Lemme hear you, gorgeous... need to know how I’m makin you feel. Thought you couldn’t wait for my cock to fill you,” he pants, pounding into you vigorously. “I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.“ He presses down on one of your legs as he thrusts, reaching an even deeper spot inside you and you let out a guttural moan.

Your head is spinning as you look up and see a blend of lust and pride all over his face; you’d love to fire back some clever retort but he’s fucking you so good the best you can manage is a whiny “Fuuuuck… Ashhhh… pleeeease…” You’re surprised you already feel the beginnings of your orgasm creeping up on you and you claw at his neck and chest as your breathing intensifies.

“GOD, Ash… gonna cum,” you announce. It’s the last coherent sentence you produce for a while as you cry out repeatedly, your legs shaking and your pussy throbbing around his cock. You don’t usually orgasm from just penetration and the intensity of it is blinding.

He fucks you through it, holding your legs tight and encouraging you. “So pretty when you cum… feels so good around me,” he murmurs. Moments later, a series of grunts signal his impending release and you moan for him, watching as his hips stutter and he cums into the condom.

Ashton eases your legs down from around his shoulders and leans in to kiss you sloppily. He lays his head on your chest and you stroke his hair as you both process what just happened. He gets up after a few seconds to dispose of the condom and a comfortable silence fills the air as you both attempt to make yourselves presentable again.

He hisses sharply as he pulls on his shirt. “Goddamn, you scratched the shit out of me, woman,” he laughs in disbelief.

“Well, I’m gonna be walking a little funny for the next couple days so I think we’re about even,” you grin, relieved that at least this part of your relationship has remained unchanged.

You’re both just about ready to head back out when something occurs to you. “Hey, what did you mean when you said you know ‘for a fact’ that I can be loud in bed?”

Ash looks half-guilty, half-amused as he answers, “When you and that asshole first got together on that tour… I had the room next to you… things were overheard. Really difficult not to overhear, if I’m being honest.” He chuckles and shrugs.

You burst out laughing, cackling so hard you need to sit back down on the couch. Ashton looks at you in confusion. “I… I…” you struggle to get the words out, wiping tears from your eyes. “I was absolutely faking it for him those nights… most nights, to be honest.”

He giggles first out of shock and then at his next thought. “Well, if he’s anywhere backstage right now, he definitely just heard what a real one sounds like,” he smirks.

—-

Crystal’s tag list: @cal-puddies @mymindwide​ @suchalonelysunflower​ @pxrxmoore​  @loveroflrh​ @ghostofmashton​ @sexgodashton​ @feliznavidaddycal​  @castaway-cashton​ @boomerash @cashtonasfuck @megz1985 @ashdork-irwin @ashtonangst @angelicfluffs @findingliam-o @abadaftertaste  @myloverboyash @youngbloodchild @irwinsbetch​ @ashsun​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @wiildflower-xxx  @metalandboybands​ @another-lonely-heart​ @realisticnotes​ @makeamovehemmings​

Click here if you’d like to be tagged for future fics and click here if your name is on my list but crossed out (Tumblr won’t let me @ you) 

Cass’s tag list: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood  @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @therealmrshale @fallfrxmgrace @lukashemmos @justarandomgirlthatyoudontknow @5sos-microwave @madbomb @sweetheartmendes1000 @literally-anythin @lfwallscouldtalk @clemmingstylins0n @ccnicole02 @lustingfor5sos @buteverythingiscopacetic @rosesfromcth @bodaciousbonzi1996 @ashtontotheirwin @captainam-erika-trash @xxgendurvikixx @jazzyangel242 @bluebabycal @rhiannonmichellee @iovehemmings @glitterycalum1205 @katcontreras @cashtonasfuck @ificanthaveu @kindahoping4forever @here-for-the-uproars @canterburyfiction @opheliaaurora  @queer-5sos @banditocth @gigglyirwin  @glitterycalum1205 @rebelwith0utacause @thesubtweeter @myloverboyash @sublimehood @irwinkitten

[silverlightqueen]

Monsters

silverlightqueen’s SKZ Scarefest

ot8magicalcreature!skz x readers from all 8 fics - comedy, fluff, angst, basically just tying up the loose ends from all the fics with the setting of Jackson’s famed party lol

Word Count: 16.2k+ (she’s a monster lmao)

Summary - Jackson’s (in)famous Halloween party is finally here, after months of being hyped up, anticipated, and labelled ‘the Party of the Year’. He’s invited everyone who’s anyone - the guestlist is exclusive to say the least. Werewolves and vampires, wizards and witches, angels and demons (and demon hunters), living creatures and dead; magical folk of all kind are on their way to Jackson’s party on All Hallows Eve. Oh, and a few humans too.

Warnings: explicit discussion of sex, alcohol and mention of drugs, I think that’s it but please let me know if you noticed that I missed something!

a/n: and here is the ninth and final instalment of my SKZ Scarefest! I know it’s not actually Halloween anymore lmao but uh better late than never ig? I’ve had so much fun writing this series, and this part was actually my favourite to write, even though it’s taken me soooo long. I really hope you guys enjoy reading this (make sure you’ve read the previous parts first, or reach out to me to ask for a summary for any parts you haven’t read - this part won’t make sense if you haven’t read all of the others too!). a big thank you to @silverlightprincess for being the best, and to everyone that’s interacted with all of the previous parts, I really appreciate it. and now, this is silverlightqueen signing off on my SKZ Scarefest! x

taglist: @kodzu-ken @cloudsgathering @silverlightprincess 

@peculiarskidz @cararoserae @t-tbinnie​ @liatlyn​ you guys didn’t ask to be tagged but you’ve shown interest in this part I think so I thought I’d tag you guys anyway lmao sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged lol

silverlightqueen navigation

‘Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, angels and demons, and everything in between! Before we get into this, I wanna lay out a couple ground rules. Wolves and vamps, if you can’t get along, stay away from each other. Wizards, witches and fairies, keep your magic away from the drinks. My bedroom is off limits, unless I take you up there myself. Everyone’s an equal here, so I don’t care if you’re a king of hell or some shit – in Jackson’s house, you’re the same as everyone else, so you better treat each other like it. And have fun, motherfuckers! Let’s get this party started!’

Jackson finishes his very eloquent speech with a loud ‘whoop’ into the DJ’s microphone, voice echoing out into the massive living room of the manor house, and everyone cheers in response. I can’t help but laugh, rolling my eyes amusedly as my friends, dressed in our matching Pink Ladies’ outfits, scream and shout, bumping their cups together enthusiastically. ‘Come on, y/n! Cheer up!’ Yeji practically bellows into my ear, and I wince at the volume of her voice over the music blasting out from the speakers. ‘I’m fine!’ I reply, the girls all raising their eyebrows at me. ‘You’re not even drinking. If you’re gonna be heartbroken, at least be drunk heartbroken!’ Chaeryeong says, the girls cheering at her words, and I laugh at them, trying not to think about the reason that I’m heartbroken. ‘Listen, y/n, Hyunjin ain’t shit! You’re better off without him! He’s fucking ancient, anyway! You need a young sexy thing instead! Fuck him!’ Ryujin exclaims, and I grin at her words. She’s right; he’s probably off feeding on some girl dressed as a sexy nurse or devil in a club, and I’m here moping at the party of the year. Fuck that.

‘Someone get me a drink!’ I say, the girls cheering loudly. ‘Yuna, get her a drink! Wait, no, you stay away from the drinks. I’ll get her a drink,’ Lia says, all of us laughing as she stumbles towards the kitchen, already a little tipsy. ‘I hate seeing you like this! You’re supposed to be my dancing partner,’ Yuna says, sitting down next to me, and I give her a sad smile. ‘I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t get him off my mind. I feel like such an idiot,’ I say, and she shakes her head, scrunching up her nose. ‘Don’t be silly, you’re not an idiot. He’s the idiot for leaving – you’re the best thing that would’ve ever happened to him,’ she says kindly, my heart swelling. ‘You’re so sweet, Yuna,’ I say, throwing my arms around her, but I don’t hear her reply, my focus shifting to the front door where I see Chan walk in, immediately catching Yeji’s eyes, and the two of them wave at each other across the room. Seungmin and Jisung follow Chan in, and I guess Hyunjin’s gonna be there too, with the rest of them. ‘Fuck. I need to go,’ I say, not wanting to see him just yet (I’m far too sober), so I detach myself from Yuna and jump up from the sofa, quickly dodging my way around people to get into the kitchen. ‘y/n!’ Lia exclaims when I pass her, ‘I’ve got your drink here!’

‘I’ll have it if she won’t!’ Jisung calls out to the girl in the Grease Pink Ladies jacket stood beside us, watching her friend rush into the kitchen. ‘Oh, uh… yeah. Here,’ the girl says, handing the cup to Jisung who thanks her with a wink, and she rolls her eyes amusedly, heading back to her friends. ‘You flirt,’ Ryujin laughs, Jisung smirking at her as he takes a sip from the drink. ‘More like slut. Whoring himself out for a drink,’ Hyunjin teases the boy, who shoves him, the two of them getting into a little fight, and Chan just sighs, looking away from the two of them with a hand raised beside his face, as though to block them from his sight.

It’s been just over a week since the boys first stumbled into the diner, and this is already the fifth time I’ve seen them. They came into the diner again a couple days later, and then again, and then another time, when Chan asked if we’d go to Jackson’s party with them. It’s a full moon tonight, so they’re gonna be disappearing in a couple hours, and then making a reappearance a bit later than that. That was their excuse for not wearing costumes, but I’m not sure I’m buying it. We decided to dress up as Harry Potter characters, us girls in the Hogwarts robes, and we already got some cute pictures at Ryujin and Yeji’s apartment before the boys came to pick us up. The girls have already started developing relationships with the boys too, and I can see us becoming one big friendship group.

With regards to Chan and I, though… things haven’t progressed in the slightest. I texted him, and we’ve been messaging, but he hasn’t made a move or anything! He’s the perfect gentleman, which is great, but also sucks, because I just want him to be forward and tell me if he’s into me. But I’ve decided not to say anything, just in case he isn’t actually into me, and I’ve misconstrued everything.

‘Oh, God, the vamps are here,’ Minho murmurs, all of the boys grumbling as they watch the vampires walk in and join the Pink Ladies girl and her Pink Ladies friends. ‘Ugh, look at them, all of them in all black. They look like they’re going to a funeral or something,’ Changbin spits out, and I exchange a glance with Chan, the boy rolling his eyes. ‘Don’t even look in their direction, guys. I don’t want anything to start, especially on a full moon. So stop looking,’ Chan says calmly, and the boys all look away, muttering under their breaths. ‘If I catch any of them giving me a funny look, I’m not holding back,’ Jisung threatens, Chan sighing wearily as I hold back a laugh. ‘Honestly. Not one peaceful party with you idiots,’ Seungmin complains, and Jisung lets out a scandalised noise. ‘Idiots? Who are you calli-’ ‘You. He’s calling you an idiot, Jisung,’ Jeongin clarifies, Jisung turning his scowl to the youngest now. ‘Are you siding with the vamps?’ he demands, everyone sighing. ‘No one’s siding with anyone. Nothing’s even happened. Can you relax?’ I say amusedly, and Jisung looks at me with a frown.

‘I hope you’re not trying to boss me around, y/n. You’re forgetting that you’re human,’ Jisung says warningly, and I roll my eyes at his empty threat. ‘And you’re forgetting something too,’ Felix says in a sing-song voice, looking amused, and Jisung’s eyes suddenly widen, flitting to Chan. He doesn’t say anything, and neither does Chan, the latter looking at the former serenely, and Jisung seems to relax under Chan’s chilled gaze. ‘What?’ Chaeryeong says suddenly, everyone’s eyes turning to her. ‘What?’ Hyunjin asks, and she rolls her eyes. ‘What did Jisung forget?’ she asks, and I won’t lie – I’d quite like to know the answer to that too. They keep doing this – one of them will say something cryptic and they’ll all look at each other and then go silent. ‘Oh, it doesn’t matter,’ Hyunjin says, us girls exchanging an exasperated glance. ‘Fine. Whatever,’ Chaeryeong sighs, the group falling silent at that. ‘Anyway… I’m gonna get a drink. Does anyone want anything?’ Minho asks, getting up from where he’s perched on the sideboard, and I raise a hand. ‘Can you get me a cup of Echo Falls please?’

‘God, these humans drink some weak shit. Echo Falls is practically flavoured water,’ I say to Felix, the boy rolling his eyes. ‘Stop eavesdropping on their conversations.’ ‘I can’t help it. You know I’ve got good hearing,’ I say, and Felix just gives me an amused smile. ‘You should be focusing on me.’ ‘You’re being boring, though. You won’t dance with me,’ I complain, pouting as I flick his plastic red devil horns, and he raises an eyebrow at me. ‘I’ve already told you why. If we dance together, you won’t keep your hands to yourself, and one of the other angels will see us and go snitching to God. I want you to speak to her before anyone else does,’ Felix explains for, like, the tenth time, and I roll my eyes at him. ‘I will speak to her. But is it that big of a deal if she hears about it from someone else beforehand? No. I just wanna dance with my boyfriend without worrying about anything,’ I whine, and his lips curl into a smile, eyes sparkling.

‘Did you just call me your boyfriend?’ he asks, and I realise that, yes, I did, and my face heats up a little. ‘No.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I think you did.’ ‘I think you’re hearing things.’ ‘Hmm, I’m not so sure about that,’ he teases me, and I roll my eyes, trying not to show him how embarrassed I am. ‘Whatever. Maybe I did. Am I wrong?’ I ask, and he grins at me, pulling me down from the arm of his armchair into his lap, and I’m surprised at the sudden display of affection. ‘Of course you aren’t. My girlfriend is never wrong,’ he murmurs with a grin, tilting his head up to press a gentle kiss to my lips, and I practically melt into him.

I break away a moment later, grabbing his hand and climbing up from the seat, pulling him up with me. ‘If you can kiss me, you can dance with me,’ I grin, dragging him towards where people are in a big throng, dancing along to the loud music pulsing out into the room. I wrap my arms around his neck, his arms coming around my waist, and we instantly begin dancing, bodies pressed close as we roll and wind against each other, the smiles never leaving our faces. Dancing with him like this is so… mundane, so human. To anyone else watching, we’re a boy and a girl dancing together, and that’s all. It feels like the most simple happiness, one I haven’t experienced for a long time. And one that gets cut short very quickly.

I blink, and suddenly Felix is no longer in my arms, and I’m no longer at Jackson’s party either, the air around me a startling silence. Instead, I’m stood in an office, God sat at the desk opposite me. She’s leaning back in her seat, her eyes on me, inspecting me, almost picking me apart, and I feel a little bit of panic flare inside me. I’m not prepared for this now – I’m halfway to being drunk on tequila shots.

‘Are you dressed as an angel?’ she asks amusedly, and I nod, feeling sheepish now in my little white dress, wings pinned onto the back of it, and my wire halo headband. ‘Quite ironic. Such a crude depiction, these humans have of my angels. Though… I do like your dress,’ she says softly, and I’m flattered. If God likes my dress, it must be good, right? Or maybe it’s not. I mean… I thought this was sexy and revealing, but if God likes it, it’s probably not as sexy or revealing as I thought. Shame.

‘Did someone snitch?’ I ask bluntly, and she lets out a gentle laugh, the sound melodious and light. ‘Yes. Somebody… snitched.’ ‘Who?’ ‘I’m snitching if I tell you,’ she says with a small smile, and I roll my eyes. ‘Can’t you just tell me?’ ‘It was Seungmin.’ ‘That little shit,’ I mutter, sighing in annoyance. ‘Felix didn’t make me aware of your relationship.’ ‘I know. I told him I’d speak to you about it.’ ‘You speak to me? Why not him? He’s here every day. You… are not,’ she says pointedly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. ‘I know, but he was nervous, so I said I’d handle it.’ ‘And how will you handle it?’ she asks amusedly, leaning forward with her elbows on the desk. ‘By asking for your permission.’

She looks quite taken aback at my answer, raising an eyebrow in surprise. ‘Asking my permission?’ ‘Yeah. We assumed you wouldn’t be too impressed if one of your angels pursues a relationship with a demon.’ ‘I wouldn’t be impressed if the circumstances were any different. But, as I’ve observed recently, you seem to be particularly harmless with Felix around. He keeps you under control. I suppose it’d be in my best interests to encourage him to be around you, to keep you on a better track than Lucifer would have you on,’ she shudders, saying his name with disdain, and I bite my tongue rather than defend my father. I doubt she’d take well to it.

‘So you don’t mind?’ ‘No. I don’t. He’s good for you. And I’m quite impressed that you unconsciously won his affections. I never expected such a lovely angel to fall for a demon,’ she says, and I feel my lips quirk up into a small grin. ‘He’s a dark horse.’ ‘Apparently so.’ ‘Does this mean you’re not gonna kill me?’ ‘Yes, y/n, I’m not going to kill you. I’m nothing if not benevolent. So you may return to your party. Just bear in mind,’ she adds, as though it’s an afterthought, ‘I have a particular fondness for Felix, so see to it that you don’t break his heart.’ ‘I can’t make any promises,’ I say honestly, and she just looks at me for a moment, deep in thought, before a small smile breaks across her face. ‘I can’t fault you for such a truthful answer. Now go,’ she says with a kind smile, her warmth seeping into even my cold heart, ‘make him happy.’

The next time I blink, I open my eyes to Jackson’s party once more, the earsplittingly loud music making me wince as I scan the room for my boyfriend. ‘y/n!’ I hear him call from behind me, and I turn to briefly see his panicked face before he pulls me into his arms. ‘You disappeared! I was worried sick,’ he says into my ear, holding me in a vice-like grip, and I let out a laugh, pushing him away gently. ‘I’m fine,’ I murmur, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. ‘Where were you?’ he asks with his big eyes, and I grin, before replying, ‘With God.’

‘Goodness. Whatever were you doing with that bore?’ I ask Lucifer’s daughter, my equivalent of the ninth circle, and a smile of joy spreads across her face at the sight of me. We hold each other in a brief embrace, her boyfriend stood to the side, watching with curiosity. ‘What are you doing here? It’s been forever since I saw you at a party,’ she says, her language so much more modern than mine. I suppose I hung onto my outdated vocabulary, just as I hung onto my love. ‘I have much to celebrate. My love is returned. Changbin is himself once more,’ I inform her, her face lighting up at the news. ‘No way! That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you! Is he here?’ she asks excitedly, and I nod. ‘He is getting a drink for me – I am quite parched. Be sure to greet him at some point before you depart. He has missed you all – he was more excitable than I have ever seen him as we were readying ourselves for this party. He could not wait to come and see you all once more,’ I explain, hearing the fondness in my own voice. ‘I will, of course. It’ll be nice to see him.’

‘Yes. It shall. And who, may I ask, is your companion?’ ‘This is Felix. He’s an angel, which is why I was with God,’ she explains, my mouth falling open. ‘You, Lucifer’s daughter, with an angel? Goodness me, this is surprising news. I expected you to choose Minho as your companion. Certainly not a being so… soft. But if you are happy, I am happy for you. I just hope Felix does not do anything to hurt you, for he shall have many dark ones to answer to,’ I say threateningly to the sweet boy, his face falling as he gulps. ‘Of course not. I’d never hurt her,’ he says quietly, and I smile at him, taking to him almost instantly. He reminds me of a little lamb, or a gentle fairy. He is quite lovely. ‘I am glad to hear so. I am going to go and find Changbin, for he has been gone a while, but I hope to catch up with you at some point tonight,’ I say to the both of them, embracing them both and taking Felix quite by surprise when I do so (it is unusual for demons to be so kind to those they have just met, but I quite enjoy teasing other beings, and making them all flustered), a small smile on my face at his girlfriend’s soft giggles, before I turn away, making my way towards the kitchen and stifling a laugh when I hear Felix ask, ‘Who’s Minho?’

I enter the kitchen, Changbin stood on the opposite side of the room, pouring himself a scotch, a glass of red wine for me beside his tumbler glass. I glide over to him, sliding my arms around his waist when I reach him, and a smile stretches across his face when I press a kiss to his cheek. ‘I have missed you,’ he murmurs, turning to pull me into his arms, and I let out a soft laugh. ‘I left for a few minutes – you cannot have missed me that much,’ I reply, and he grins at me. ‘I don’t mean the last few minutes – I mean the last few centuries,’ he chuckles, and I feel my heart swell. He has told me he missed me so many times over the past few days and it has not yet become old to hear him say so. ‘I like hearing you say that.’ ‘I shall say it to you every day for the rest of our lives if you so wish,’ he proclaims, making me giggle (only he can make me behave as though I am a young teenage human girl with her first love).

I can feel eyes on us, and I manage to pick up whispers here and there, about how the famed original demon hunter is no longer a demon hunter, and is in the kitchen of a Halloween party thrown by a drunken fool. How Jackson has all these connections, I am not quite sure, though I suppose he is a sweet boy on occasion, when he is not intoxicated out of his sanity. ‘People are talking.’ ‘That is what they do.’ ‘I mean, they are talking about us.’ ‘They will always talk about us,’ he grins, cockiness seeping into his tone, and I roll my eyes. ‘More specifically, they are talking about you.’ ‘Well, they will always talk about me.’ ‘And why is that, my love?’ I ask with a grin, leaning against him with my arms around his neck, and he leans back against the counter, hands resting low on my back. ‘Would you like to guess, my love?’ ‘Your dashing good looks?’ ‘No.’ ‘Your unfairly perfect body?’ ‘Not quite.’ ‘Your… lovely personality?’ ‘Not even close,’ he says with a grin, childish giggles falling from my lips every few seconds. ‘Then what, my love?’ I ask, feeling drunk on love when he replies, ‘they wonder how somebody like me is with such a perfect lady like you.’

‘Wow. Did you hear that? That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,’ I murmur to Jisung, the boy rolling his eyes as he takes a sip from his beer. ‘He’s had a long time to practice his lines,’ Jisung says dryly, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘So have you, being a thousands-of-years-old demon and all.’ ‘Nope. I was too busy fucking people. Anyway, stop listening to other people’s romantic conversations, and focus on your own romance,’ he says sternly, and I hold back a laugh. ‘Romance? He didn’t even pick me up. He said he’d ‘see me there’ which is, like, totally not a date,’ I say mildly, and Jisung shakes his head. ‘He’s trying not to be too eager.’ ‘He’s going a little too much the other way.’ ‘Well… he’ll regret it when he sees you. You look hot,’ he says offhandedly, though the way his eyes roam over me hungrily betray his cool demeanour. ‘I do, don’t I? It was a good costume suggestion you made,’ I say, looking down at my angel costume. It’s a little basic – quite a few other girls here are dressed as angels (I’m pretty sure I saw a princess of Hell dressed as one, which is quite funny actually) – but the white dress, feather wings and tinsel halo are quite cute, if I say so myself.

‘Yep, it was. Sex God Seonghwa’s gonna love it,’ he grins, and I shush him, looking around embarrassedly in case someone heard. ‘Relax, relax. Oh, look. Talk of the devil…’ he trails off, and I follow his eye line to the door of the kitchen, Seonghwa and his friends just walking in. They’re dressed in standard house party outfits with a little bit of makeup on their faces – a half-skeleton face here and a half-zombie face there. I’m not quite sure what Seonghwa’s supposed to be, with his bright white contacts and cuts across his eyes, but he looks hot. I catch his eye, and he smiles widely at me, the butterflies I usually feel when he looks at me absent today, but I shrug it off. ‘I’m gonna go say hi,’ I say, rising from my seat, and Jisung nods. ‘I’ll be with Hyunjin, if you need me. Not that you will, but… just in case,’ he says gently, and I nod with a smile before heading towards Seonghwa.

‘Hey, y/n. You look… nice,’ he says with a devilish grin, eyes flitting over me before he pulls me into a loose hug. ‘Thanks, Seonghwa. You look good, too. I like your… contacts,’ I say awkwardly, but he continues grinning at me as though he can’t feel the uncomfortable tension in the air. ‘Thanks. Not more than my real eyes, I hope,’ he jokes, and I let out a forced laugh. ‘No, of course not. You’re real eyes are, uh, much nicer.’ ‘Thanks. Can I get you a drink?’ he offers, and I hold up the cup in my hand awkwardly. ‘Oh, never mind. I’ll just grab myself a beer,’ he laughs, turning to get one out of the fridge, and I want to scream at myself. Why am I being so awkward with him? Come on, y/n, step up your game.

‘So what exactly are you supposed to be?’ I ask, trying to sound more comfortable than I feel, and he grins as he flips the top off the bottle with a bottle opener. ‘Can’t you tell? I’m a… possessed… devil… thing?’ he says, and I laugh, the boy laughing with me. ‘You don’t sound so sure.’ ‘Yeah, it’s a little ambiguous. Wooyoung did it and I’m not sure what he was going for, but I’ll roll with it,’ he chuckles before motioning to me. ‘Your outfit’s pretty obvious, though. A perfect little angel, right?’ he smirks, and I let out a fake laugh. ‘How did you guess?’ ‘I think the halo and the wings give it away a little. The dress isn’t too angelic, though. A little… tight. Not that I’m complaining,’ he grins, and I feel my heart sinking. He’s attracted to me, he’s flirting with me, and yet… I don’t feel a single thing. What is wrong with me?

‘Well… I’m glad you like it. It’s a little… out there for me,’ I admit, hoping that derailing the conversation to something a little more tame will make things less awkward. ‘It really suits you. I think you should wear things like this all the time, if you want to. Be more confident in your body,’ he says encouragingly, and I feel so sad. Look how nice he’s being, and I still somehow feel like I’d much rather be talking to anyone else at this party. ‘I’ll try. I’m not sure my tutors would be too impressed if I showed up to my lectures and seminars in teeny little bodycon dresses,’ I joke, and he chuckles, grinning. ‘Maybe not,’ he murmurs with a smirk, ‘but I’m sure… other people would appreciate it.’

‘God, that’s the most awkward conversation I’ve ever listened to in my life,’ I say dryly to Ryujin as we leave the kitchen. ‘I know! The girl was obviously not interested, but he was not getting the message,’ she says, both of us wincing at the thought of how uncomfortable that was. ‘Boys are so dense,’ I complain as I throw myself down onto the sofa beside Lia, Ryujin perching on the arm of the sofa beside where Yuna sits. ‘Listen to you. She’s got a demon boyfriend now and, suddenly, she’s above human boys,’ Chaeryeong teases, and I raise my eyebrow, the other girls laughing. ‘He’s not my boyfriend. I’ve met him once.’ ‘And that was enough for him to fall in love with you,’ Lia says simply, and I roll my eyes. ‘He’s not in love!’ ‘He’s willing to come to a human party for you – it’s close enough to love,’ Yeji says dryly, and I shake my head with an amused smile. ‘This is not a human party at all. We’re like the only humans here, pretty much.’ ‘Us and that girl being practically tortured by that boy in the kitchen,’ Ryujin says with a wince, and I laugh. ‘Poor thing. We should’ve saved her. Pretended we know her or something.’ ‘Na, he was pretty hot. Maybe she’s just looking to get laid,’ Ryujin says with a shrug, and I consider it, nodding after a moment.

‘Who’s looking to get laid?’ a familiar voice says, and I look up to see Minho stood there, my heart stopping momentarily. He looks so handsome, in a pair of tight black trousers and a black shirt with white stripes on it, an expensive-looking black jacket thrown over the top of it, a smart casual outfit perfect for a date. I tried my best to wear something that doubles as a date outfit and a Halloween costume, but all I could come up with is a little black dress and a cat ear headband with a matching tail on my ass which I’ll take off when we leave here. At least I look sexy in it.

He holds out a hand to me and I take it, letting him pull me up from my seat, and he keeps my hand in his, holding it up and pressing his soft lips against my skin. ‘You sound different,’ Ryujin observes dryly, eyebrow raised, and he grins at her. ‘I decided to drop the formalities. No one wants to date a guy who sounds like he’s just stepped out of the Victorian era. Unless you’re into that?’ he asks with a grin, coaxing a laugh from me, and I’m relieved to hear him speaking like this instead of that stiff formal language. It makes him much less… intimidating.

‘I brought my friends,’ he says, and my eyes focus on the group stood a few feet behind him, all of them dressed similarly to Minho. They’re all taking turns to hug one blond boy who I saw earlier with his gorgeous girlfriend, the girl now stood beside the group, watching them with a loving smile on her face. ‘I’ll introduce them in a minute. Our friend was turned into a demon hunter centuries ago, and we’ve just now found out he’s back to being a demon again. It’s a long story – I’ll explain over dinner,’ he says, and I’m a little confused but I brush it off, just nodding.

‘Dinner?’ a voice says from behind Minho, the boy turning to reveal the blond boy’s girlfriend. She’s dressed in an elegant white evening dress, decked out in jewels and finery, a white veil in her hair and horribly gory cuts and wounds all over her face and chest. ‘Yes, dinner.’ ‘Ah, so this is the date you mentioned?’ she says, her eyes flitting to me, and I feel a little intimidated under her powerful gaze. ‘Hi. I’m y/n,’ I say shyly, and she looks impressed, holding out a hand to me, and I shake it firmly. ‘Nice to meet you, y/n. I am the Princess of the 5th Circle of Hell,’ she says with a smile, and I blink in surprise. ‘Charmed,’ I reply faintly, and she lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Does she not know of our nature, Minho?’ ‘She does. I suppose it takes a little getting used to,’ he says ruefully, and I nod embarrassedly.

‘You are dressed as a cat,’ she observes, and I nod, even more embarrassed. She looks all graceful as a zombie bride (I think?), and I’m in a cheap ass black dress and a flimsy plastic headband. ‘Minho has a liking for cats,’ she says amusedly, Minho choking on thin air, and I try to ignore the girls’ stifled laughter behind me as I say, ‘I… didn’t know that.’ ‘I guessed as much. What exactly are you supposed to be, Minho?’ ‘A normal boy taking a girl to dinner?’ he says with a small grin, and the girl rolls her eyes. ‘How boring.’

‘We don’t all have your creativity, Miss Zombie Bride,’ he teases sarcastically, and she lets out a little outraged gasp. ‘How dare you? Are you accusing me of being unoriginal? You should see Lucifer’s Princess – she’s dressed as an angel, and she’s here with her angel boyfriend,’ the girl says, sounding a little gossipy, and Minho’s mouth falls open. ‘Angel boyfriend?’ he asks, the girl nodding with a grin, satisfied at Minho’s reaction. ‘Do not ask her for details – she will gossip with you all night, and you shall be late to dinner with your human love,’ the blond-haired boy says amusedly, Minho nodding before his eyes flit back to me, a grin spreading on his handsome face.

He holds an arm out to me, and I link mine with his shyly, feeling more than intimidated with all these demons around. ‘We should get going. I’m parked outside,’ he says, and I feel excited – I’m really looking forward to this, regardless of the fact that my date is a demon prince. ‘Why did you bring a car?’ the demon princess says amusedly, and I look between her and Minho with confusion. ‘How else would we get there?’ ‘We can travel without… vehicles. What is it you humans call it… ah, teleporting, I believe,’ she says, and my eyes widen. ‘Can we do that?’ I ask Minho excitedly, and he shakes his head, an amused smile on his face. ‘You’ve never done it before, and it takes a lot of getting used to. I don’t want you to get hurt,’ he says, the last bit a little quieter, and his demon friends behind him fail at holding back their laughter, making him look more than a bit sheepish. ‘Do not tease him. He is obviously taken with her, and it is high time he settled down,’ the demon princess says, though she looks like she’s holding back laughter too, and Minho just shakes his head.

‘We’re going. See you in a few hours,’ he says embarrassedly, leading me towards the door, and I wave goodbye to the girls and Minho’s friends over my shoulder, all of them watching us leave with big smiles on their faces. We dodge around the groups of partygoers, dressed up all sorts of supernatural creatures and famous characters, and it feels like we’ve entered another world when we step out through the front door, the air clear, crisp and quiet. ‘Are you cold?’ he asks, and I shake my head, his eyebrow raising. ‘Okay, maybe I am.’ ‘I’d be shocked if you weren’t in that dress,’ he says amusedly, taking his jacket off and helping me to put it on, giving me butterflies. It smells like expensive aftershave and something… dark and smoky, like night itself. ‘Come on, angel, let’s get going,’ he grins, throwing an arm around my shoulders and leading me towards where several cars are parked on the driveway of the manor. ‘Where are we going?’ I ask, and his grins grows even wider. ‘Wherever you want to go, angel,’ he says softly, holding me close to him, ‘I’ll go anywhere with you.’

‘Oh, my God. That was so romantic,’ I squeal under my breath as we pass the couple who are leaving, the boy holding the passenger door of his car open for the girl, and I.N. – no, Jeongin – rolls his eyes. ‘It was cheesy,’ he says, ever the cynic, and I shoot him a look. ‘Whatever, grumpy,’ I mutter, and he lets out a little laugh. ‘I’m not grumpy.’ ‘You are! You complained the entire way here!’ ‘Yeah, because I don’t want to be here. I don’t like leaving the house.’ ‘But I’ve got a s-’ ‘Surprise, yes, I know. It’d be nice if you told me what it was,’ he says pointedly, and I roll my eyes. ‘It’s not a surprise if I tell you,’ I say simply, the boy muttering something under his breath as we reach the front door. I push it open, stepping through the doorway with Jeongin behind me, and I can feel the nervous energy practically radiating from him as we head further into the party. This is the first time he’s left the house to go further than the local shops and I can understand his anxiety, which is why I reach out and take his hand into mine, leading him through the big groups of people, to where they said they’d be in the kitchen.

‘Okay, I have some good news,’ I say when we reach the door of the kitchen, his hand still in mine, and he looks relieved that he’s finding out the surprise. ‘What’s the good news?’ ‘You can carry on living in 325 Sunshine Street,’ I say excitedly, looking forward to his reaction, and his face lights up. ‘You’re not selling it?’ he asks breathlessly, eyes sparkling with excitement, and I hesitate. ‘It’s still being sold… to me. I’m moving in,’ I say tentatively, and he doesn’t react for a moment. I worry that I’ve got this all wrong, that this is the last thing he would want, and that this is going to ruin the friendship that’s developed between us, the friendship that I treasure more than I realised. ‘You’re moving in?’ he asks, and I nod slowly. ‘I mean, only if you want me to! I don’t have t-’ ‘I want you to. I really want you to. Are you serious?’ he asks, eyes lighting up as he speaks, and relief floods through me. ‘Yes, I’m serious. I’m buying the house!’ I exclaim, and he lets out a loud whoop of excitement, pulling me into his arms. He’s so real, so warm and soft, and he doesn’t feel like a ghost at all.

‘That’s the best surprise you could’ve given me!’ he says contentedly, pulling away from me, and I can’t help but grin at him, so happy that he’s happy. ‘Actually… I don’t think it is. I have an even better one for you,’ I say excitedly, and he eyes me suspiciously. ‘Another surprise? Better than you moving in?’ ‘Mmhmm. It’s in the kitchen,’ I say, and he looks at the door before looking back at me. ‘Can I…?’ he asks, and I nod, laughing. He holds a hand up to the door, looking nervous as he pushes it open, and when he opens it, I wish I could imprint the look on his face to my brain forever, the look of pure wonder and happiness making me feel warm inside.

I can hear loud yelling from the kitchen before Jeongin rushes in, and I follow behind him, watching with a fond smile as his friends greet him and hug him for the first time since their exams all those years ago. For the first time since he died. I reached out to Chan last night, who was the one trying to sell the house, and told him everything. He told the other boys, and they told me they’d be at the party tonight, asking if I could bring him so they could see him again. When I first spoke to Chan, I suggested they all move into the house with Jeongin, but he told me that some of them were married with children. They had their own families now, and it was too late for them to move in with their old family. Which is when I came up with the idea to live there myself. I still have to work out the logistics, and how I’m going to tell my parents that I’m moving out of their house to live with my friend that they’ve never heard of in the house I’ve been trying to sell for months and haven’t been able to do so. But that’ll come later.

Jeongin’s eyes are full of tears and so are his brothers’, all of them radiating happiness as they embrace, and try to catch him up on what’s been going on in the past few years. He looks so young next to them, but I can see the echo of what they were at school, his presence making them seem younger too. I stand in the doorway and watch, wanting him to have his time with them, but he turns to look at me after a few minutes, telling them he’ll be right back. ‘You’re the best. Thank you,’ he says sincerely, pulling me into another hug, and I feel my heart melt. ‘You’re welcome. Now go back to your family, stupid. You’ll have all the time in the world to speak to me, when we live together,’ I say with a grin, and he rolls his eyes. ‘You’re the stupid one, y/n,’ he grins, and I raise an eyebrow, and my heart swells when he says, ‘don’t you know you’re my family now too?’

‘Did you hear that? How cute,’ I say to Chaeryeong as we enter the living room, wanting a reprieve from the racket those boys were making in the kitchen. ‘Yeah, but what’s the context? Because it’s not cute if she’s into him. That wasn’t even friendzone – it was familyzone,’ Chaeryeong says, making me laugh. ‘I didn’t think about that. Poor thing,’ I say as we head to the bathroom. There’s a little room before the actual bathroom itself, with mirrors lining the walls, and we head to the one in the corner to check our appearances. I nearly have a heart attack when I spot a wrinkle creasing my forehead, and I feel faint when I see grey locks streaked through my hair, making me look more like the Bride of Frankenstein than the sexy vampire I’m dressed up as. ‘I’m gonna cry. Look at the state of me. I look like an old lady,’ I wail miserably, Chaeryeong giving me a pitying look. ‘You don’t, y/n! This hairstyle is in!’ ‘Okay, but wrinkles all over my face isn’t!’ I shriek, the girl wincing when she spots them. ‘Well… you’ve gotta break the curse then.’ ‘I’ve been trying. It’s harder than you think. I’ve been doing so many selfless and generous things, but apparently not without judgement, even though I wasn’t even being judgemental,’ I complain, and Chaeryeong raises an eyebrow.

‘What have you been doing?’ ‘I paid for the coffee of the guy behind me in Starbucks, even though he totally wasn’t my type. I gave this half-troll girl a pad when I went for dinner with Yuna last night. I stopped to let an old man cross the road, and he was super slow. I did loads of other stuff too!’ I list off, and Chaeryeong shakes her head despairingly. ‘y/n, you moron! You judged every one of those people!’ ‘No, I didn’t!’ ‘Listen to how you just described them. A guy who wasn’t your type. A half-troll girl. An old man. You’re supposed to look past people’s appearance, but that’s the way you just described them all, stupid!’ she exclaims, and my mouth falls open. She’s right. I am stupid. ‘Oh, my God. I’m never gonna break this curse. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I look at people without seeing what they look like?’ I wail helplessly, Chaeryeong rolling her eyes at me.

Before she can speak, a girl dressed as a devil walks in, ranting and raving angrily, and Chaeryeong exchange a glance. She looks like she’s crying, her friend trying her best to comfort her. ‘Are you okay?’ I ask, and she looks at me in surprise before letting out a loud sob. ‘No,’ she wails, and I step towards her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. ‘What’s the matter?’ I ask, and her friend sighs. ‘Her ex is here, with his new girlfriend, and they’re dressed as an angel and devil. She thinks her ex’s new girl is a better devil than she is, and now she feels like an idiot that she’s wearing a couple costume with her ex, but he’s here with his new girl,’ her friend explains, and I wince. It’s an awkward situation to say the least, and I feel really sorry for her. If that was me, I’d probably leave out of embarrassment, especially if I thought her costume was better than mine.

The girl in front of me is in all black with a red belt (a devil tail hanging from it) and red devil horns, with red contacts like mine, and she looks around the same size as me. ‘Oh, my God, I just had the best idea! Why don’t we swap outfits? You can have my fake fangs and I brought fake blood, too, and I’ll have your horns and belt! Then you can be a sexy vampire instead of a sexy devil!’ I suggest excitedly, the girl’s eyes lighting up. ‘You’d do that?’ ‘Of course. Exes are, like, the worst. Here,’ I say, pulling my fangs out and rushing into the bathroom to give them a quick wash. When I came back, she’s taken off the belt and horns, holding them out to me. ‘You’re really nice, you know? Thank you so much,’ she says sincerely, looking a lot happier now than she did a minute ago, and I grin at her. ‘No problem,’ I reply, passing her the fangs, and I help her to put some fake blood around her mouth and in two dots on her neck. She keeps thanking me and we even exchange socials before she leaves, because she says she wants to keep in touch with the girl that saved her Halloween. I can’t stop smiling as I put on the belt and horns, carefully wiping away the fake blood on my mouth and neck, touching it up with my foundation. It feels nice to do something nice for someone.

‘Oh, my God!’ Chaeryeong exclaims, and I look at her worriedly. ‘What?’ ‘Look at your hair!’ she practically screams, and I look at myself in the mirror. The grey has disappeared from my hair, and so have the wrinkles on my face. My body feels a little stronger than it did a few minutes ago, and I poke my tongue around at the back of my mouth, finding that there are no longer gaps where three of my teeth fell out yesterday. ‘I broke the curse!’ I say excitedly, Chaeryeong pulling me into an excited hug. ‘Look how easy it was!’ ‘I know! God, this’ll teach me to stop being such a bitch. Ugh, I’m so glad to have my teeth back! I’m gonna go find Seungmin,’ I say, wanting to tell him, and she nods. ‘I’ll be with the girls. Just phone me if you can’t find us,’ she says, and we leave the bathroom, going our separate ways.

It doesn’t take me long to find Seungmin – I can hear his friendship group from a mile away – and he grins at me as I approach. ‘You just broke it, didn’t you?’ he asks, and my eyes widen. ‘How did you know?’ ‘It’s obvious. Look how excited you are. How did you do it?’ he asks, and I explain to him, the boy rolling his eyes. ‘See how simple it is? I’m glad you’ve learnt not to be a judgmental bitch now,’ he teases, and I shove him half-heartedly. ‘Whatever. But, honestly… I really have learnt my lesson. I feel terrible about that witch now. I’ll never be nasty again,’ I proclaim, and Seungmin raises an eyebrow. ‘We’ll see about that.’ ‘Well… I’ll try to never be nasty again,’ I amend, and he laughs. ‘That sounds more like you.’

‘y/n! Long time, no see! Are you two back together?’ Changbin slurs drunkenly, throwing his arms around us, and I wince as Seungmin closes his eyes momentarily. ‘No. We’re not,’ he replies, Changbin cringing. ‘Oh. Sorry for making it awkward. I’m gonna just…’ he trails off, turning back to the boys and whispering loud enough for us to hear, ‘they’re not back together, Jisung. You owe me a twenty.’ Seungmin sighs, putting a hand over his face as though he’s trying to keep himself together, and I let out a little laugh. ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘It’s okay. It’s not that big of a deal,’ I say, and Seungmin hesitates before saying, ‘I actually wanted to speak to you about that.’ I freeze for a moment, blinking as I try to process his words.

‘About… us?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I know you ended things because I’m immortal, but I… found something. I’ve been looking for a… solution to that problem, and I found one. There’s this… potion, I guess, a really complicated one that takes a long time to brew, but I collected all the ingredients and I’ve started brewing it already,’ he begins, and I’m itching to hear the rest of what he’s got to say. ‘It’s an immortality potion, but it works in different ways, depending on who takes it. If someone mortal takes it, they become immortal. If someone immortal takes it…’ he trails off, and I finish for him; ‘they become mortal.’ He nods gravely, and I don’t reply for a few seconds, mind working at a million miles an hour.

‘So you want me to take the potion to be immortal?’ ‘No! No, y/n, God, no! I’d never ask that of you!’ he says quickly, looking shocked that I even asked, and then I realise what he means. ‘You’re suggesting that you take it? To be mortal?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘But… is that what you want?’ I ask, and he sighs, taking a few moments to reply; ‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and… yeah, I think so. I mean…. I don’t want to outlive everyone around me, everyone I care about, and love. And it’s not even outliving them, it’s seeing them turn 30, 40, 50, 60, whilst I still look like a teenager. I don’t want that to happen. I want to grow old with the people I love. I… I want to grow old with you,’ he says quietly, and I feel my heart stop momentarily. ‘Me?’ ‘Yes. You, y/n. I still love you. A lot, actually. I’d do anything for a life with you. And I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore, but I thought I’d tell you, because I know that’s the reason you ended things. I guess… I’m hoping that that was the only reason, and that now I can fix it, you’ll have me back. But I get it if you don’t want to-’ ‘I do, though. I really, really do,’ I say without even thinking, and his eyes widen, face lighting up.

‘Wait, really?’ ‘Yes, Seungmin. I do want to have you back. But… I want you to properly think about this. It’s a big sacrifice that you’re thinking of making, and I want you to think it through.’ ‘y/n, I’ve been thinking it through the entire time we were broken up, the entire time I was looking for the potion. It’s all I ever thought about. I want this,’ he says earnestly, and I know that he’s being truthful, that he really has thought this through properly. He’s mature and responsible, and I know he wouldn’t rush into a decision like this without thinking it through properly. ‘Okay,’ I say simply, and he blinks in surprise. ‘Okay?’ ‘Okay. I’ll be with you.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yes, Seungmin, really,’ I laugh, and he lets out a loud shout of celebration, throwing his arms around me in a hug and I giggle at his reaction, touched at his excitement. ‘Are you back together?’ Jisung demands when we break apart, and I roll my eyes as Seungmin sighs at him. ‘Yes. We are now.’ ‘Ha! Changbin, you better give me that twenty back!’

‘Oh, that reminds me of our bet!’ Jisung says suddenly, all of us looking at him in surprise. ‘What? What bet?’ Yuna asks, and the boys exchange yet another cryptic glance, none of them speaking. ‘Oh, my God!’ Lia exclaims, finally losing her patience, ‘what is wrong with you guys? Why can’t you just tell us what the hell is going on? Or, at least, stop talking about it in front of us! Because I’m fed up of it n-’ ‘y/n,’ Chan says suddenly, cutting Lia’s tirade off, and we all turn our gazes to him. ‘I wasn’t talking, it was Lia-‘ ‘I know. I just… can I have a word with you? Outside, please,’ he says quietly, and I blink in confusion. What’s with the weird timing, and what exactly does he want to say? ‘Um, yeah, okay,’ I say softly, completely confused, and Chan rises from his seat, holding out a hand to help me up too. He leads me through to the back of the house, taking me out into the grounds, and he sits us down on a bench, a group of boys sat smoking weed on the bench on our left, and two other boys having a heart-to-heart on the bench to our right.

‘What’s the matter, Chan? Are you okay?’ I say concernedly, and he gives me a faint smile. ‘I’m fine. I just… I’ve got something important that I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, but it’s kinda… serious. Just, um… prepare yourself,’ he says seriously, and I side-eye him. ‘You’re scaring me, Chan.’ ‘It’s not bad! Well, maybe it is. I don’t know,’ he rambles, and I let out a little laugh. ‘Chan, just tell me.’ ‘Sorry, sorry. Um, so, basically… you are my… um… my mate,’ he says slowly, wincing as he speaks, and I just blink for a few seconds before asking, ‘Your mate?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘Like… life companion forever?’ ‘That’s right, yeah.’ ‘But… I’m a human,’ I say slowly, unable to believe what he’s saying. ‘Anyone can be our mates. Even… vampires, or demons. So, yeah… you’re my mate. But just because you’re my mate, it doesn’t mean I have to be yours,’ he says, almost sounding sad. ‘What do you mean?’ I ask, puzzled, and he sighs.

‘Humans don’t have mates, so you can be with anyone you want to be, fall in love with anyone you want to fall in love with. You don’t have to be with me if you don’t want to,’ he explains, and I feel even more confused. ‘Wait, so what does it mean then? Like… I’m your mate but I don’t have to be with you? So what’s the point of it then?’ ‘It means that I will never… want anyone else, or love anyone else. Not that I want or love you – I barely know you – but y-’ ‘I know what you mean. So… if you don’t end up with me, you’ll end up alone?’ I ask, and he nods sadly. ‘But don’t… force yourself to be with me because of that. I want you to be happy, whether or not that’s with me,’ he says, and I can feel the burden of it already settling on my shoulders. I’m the love of his life – he’ll never love anyone other than me.

‘Um…’ I begin, but Chan cuts me off, ‘you don’t have to, like, make any decisions, or even say anything. I just… thought it was important that I told you.’ ‘Yeah, I know. I’m glad you told me, because now I can tell you that I’ve been crushing on you since the second I saw you, and I’d really like it if we went on a date together,’ I force myself to say, feeling so nervous even though he’s just told me I’m his mate. He just stares at me for a second before he says, ‘really?’ ‘Yeah. Really.’ ‘Well… I’d really like it if we went on a date, too,’ he says with a grin, and I can’t help but smile back shyly. ‘God, y/n, I was supposed to ask you out! Not the other way around!’ he complains, and I let out a fond laugh, amused at his childish behaviour that he’d never show around the other boys. ‘Well, you did make the first move by telling me I’m your mate,’ I point out and he thinks for a moment before a satisfied smile spreads across his face. ‘Yeah, I guess I did,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes.

‘Come on, let’s go back in. You must be cold out here, and we better get going. We’ll be turning soon,’ he says, standing up and taking my hand to pull me up from the bench. ‘So what’s the bet Jisung mentioned?’ I ask, curious, and Chan lets out an embarrassed laugh. ‘Whether or not I’d tell you tonight. They all betted I wouldn’t, and I said I would. They owe me ten each now,’ he says with a victorious grin. ‘I’m gonna deny all knowledge,’ I laugh, and his mouth falls open. ‘You wouldn’t betray me like that!’ he exclaims dramatically, making me giggle. ‘I won’t if you share the money with me.’ ‘y/n,’ he begins, eyes sparkling with amusement, ‘you’re my mate. I’d share my life with you if you asked.’

‘Ugh, did you hear that sappy shit that wolf was saying? Oh, y/n!’ Jisung says when he sees me, eyes lighting up which makes my heart stop for a moment. ‘Hey,’ I say, sounding breathless to my own ears, and Jisung grins at my tone, looking up at me stood before the bench with dark eyes. ‘y/n. It’s nice to meet you,’ the boy sat next to him says, and my eyes flit to Hyunjin, the boy Daehwi originally tried to set me up with. He’s even hotter in person. ‘Hey, Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you too,’ I say shyly, and he grins. ‘Sorry I couldn’t make it. But I’ve heard Jisung more than made up for my absence. You two have struck up quite the friendship, right?’ he asks, and my gaze turns to Jisung, the boy smirking, and I look back to Hyunjin before nodding. ‘Yeah, we have, actually. He’s a great friend.’ ‘And a great wingman too, by the sound of it,’ Hyunjin grins, and I feel my face heat up at the thought that these two very attractive boys both know that less than two weeks ago, I was an untouched virgin who wanted to have sex before my first ever date. I’m embarrassed beyond belief, and it’s like they can both sense it, amusement settling on both of their faces.

‘Yeah, y/n, speaking of which, where is your date?’ he asks, and I remember why I came out here, a pout making its way onto my face. Jisung and Hyunjin move apart, making space for me on the bench, and I throw myself down with a long, dramatic sigh. ‘He is literally… so boring,’ I admit, both of them bursting into laughter. ‘Don’t laugh! It’s not funny! I’m, like, heartbroken!’ I complain, annoyed that they think this is funny, but I can also feel myself holding back laughter. ‘Sorry, sorry. But… y/n, I thought you wanted to have sex with him. You don’t have to find him fascinating,’ Jisung says, and I let out another long sigh. ‘I’m not like you stupid boys. I don’t wanna just have sex with someone because they’re good looking. I was attracted to him until I found out he’s literally the most boring guy I’ve ever spoken to in my life. Okay, maybe not boring. Just… we’re not compatible, so it was really, really awkward. And the worst thing was that it seemed like he didn’t even realise that is was awkward. He just kept talking,’ I explain, the boys nonstop laughing as I talk, and I’m laughing along with them by the time I finish speaking.

‘That’s such a shame, y/n,’ Hyunjin says, still laughing, and Jisung says, ‘maybe not. I don’t want you in a relationship.’ I look at him in surprise, and he looks surprised too, as though he didn’t mean to say the words out loud. ‘You were good, angel. I’d like it if we c-’ ‘Okay! Okay, you don’t need to finish that sentence,’ I say embarrassedly, not wanting him to say it in front of Hyunjin who fails at stifling his laughter. ‘So why are you here, y/n? You’re best friends with Daehwi’s girlfriend, right? And she’s here. Why are you out here with us?’ Hyunjin asks, and I hesitate, not exactly sure myself. ‘I guess… I wanted to come and complain to Jisung about the fact that he took my virginity for no reason, because I’m not even gonna have sex tonight,’ I say miserably, kicking at the gravel like a sulky little kid. ‘I mean, you could,’ Jisung says with a grin, Hyunjin bursting into laughter as I choke on thin air. ‘I’m kidding.’ ‘No, you’re not,’ Hyunjin chuckles, and Jisung says, ‘you’re right, I’m not.’ ‘Well… thanks for the offer, but I’m not in the mood. I’m too upset,’ I say dramatically.

‘Let me cheer you up then,’ Jisung says, and I side-eye him. ‘I just told you I’m not in the m-’ ‘No, I don’t mean that! Let’s go dance together, or we’ll go somewhere for food if you’re hungry. Let’s get your mind off… Soggy Seonghwa,’ Jisung says with a grin, both Hyunjin and I dissolving into uncontrollable laughter. ‘Soggy Seonghwa?’ I giggle, Jisung nodding. ‘I don’t think he deserves the Sex God title,’ Jisung says, tone all shady and gossipy, Hyunjin and I laughing even more now. ‘Well, whatever. You don’t have to cheer me up, it’s okay. I’ll go find one of the girls and get blackout drunk,’ I say, Jisung frowning. ‘No, no. I don’t have to cheer you up, but I want to cheer you up. I mean…’ he trails off, and Hyunjin raises his eyebrows at Jisung, as though there’s something going on here that I don’t know about. ‘We’re friends, right?’ he asks, and I nod instantly. ‘Of course.’ ‘Well, you must know I see you as more than just a friend, and I think you see me as more than just a friend too. So, yeah. I’m kinda relieved things didn’t work out with Soggy,’ he says, and I’m too shocked to laugh, butterflies exploding in my stomach.

He sees me as more than a friend? ‘Wait, what do you mean?’ I ask, and he laughs. ‘I like you, y/n, and you like me too. You might not know it, but you do. I can tell from the way you feel when I’m around. So let me… woo you,’ he says, making me laugh, and his lips curl up into a small grin. ‘Woo me?’ ‘Mmhmm. Let me dance with you, or take you for food, or take you back to your apartment,’ he smirks, and I roll my eyes. ‘Having sex is not wooing me.’ ‘I never said anything about sex,’ he grins with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘So what would we do?’ ‘I don’t know. Watch a film? Cuddle? Bake? What is it you human girls like to do when you’re dating someone?’ he asks, and I let out a gentle laugh. ‘That stuff sounds about right. But I don’t want to leave yet.’ ‘Okay. Let’s go dance then,’ he says with a grin, jumping up from the bench and pulling me up with him. ‘Hyunjin, you coming?’ Jisung asks, and I’m reminded that the other boy is sat there too. He smiles up at us, eyes shining with happiness, and he shakes his head. ‘You guys go. Have fun. I’m gonna find a cute little human girl. Got any friends, y/n?’ he asks with a mischievous grin, and I laugh. ‘Quite a few. And you’re hot, so you can take your pick,’ I say, Hyunjin jumping up from the bench at that, all of us laughing as we head up to the house. ‘Wait,’ Jisung says when we reach the back door, looking at me with a scowl, ‘did you just call my best friend hot?’

‘He is pretty hot, though. I won’t lie,’ I say to the boy as I step out through the back door, the pretty girl dressed very similarly to me and the two pretty boys on either side of her looking at me. ‘Yeah, I am, right? Can I get you a drink?’ the taller boy asks with a cocky grin, and I roll my eyes. ‘My boyfriend’s getting me one,’ I say, and his grin falls. ‘You just said I’m hot,’ he complains, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘I’m Lucifer’s daughter – I can say what I want,’ I tell him, and his mouth shuts straight away, the girl looking a little scared and the other boy looking amused. ‘Shame you’re in a relationship. You’re pretty hot,’ the taller boy says, and I grin at him. ‘Thanks. She’s hotter, though,’ I say, pointing at the girl who looks like she wants to curl in on herself and disappear. ‘Me?’ ‘Mmhmm. You got that cute little innocent vibe going on. Makes you even hotter.’ ‘Oh. Thanks,’ she says, a little more at ease now after the compliment.

‘She likes him,’ the taller boy says, pointing at the short boy who’s grinning proudly. ‘Share her,’ I say, only half-joking, and the girl coughs out of shock. ‘Share me? I’m not a chocolate bar,’ she says indignantly, and I feel my eyebrows go up in admiration – she’s a feisty one. ‘I like you, angel. You into girls?’ I ask, and the shorter boy’s smile drops. ‘You’ve got a boyfriend.’ ‘What about it? You think Princesses of Hell conform to different sexualities? Or to monogamy?’ I ask, purposely trying to piss him off, and he opens his mouth before closing it. I look at the girl again, waiting for her answer. I’m not actually interested (I mean, I wouldn’t say no) but it’s fun to tease her little boyfriends like this. ‘I’m… open to anything. But I do kinda like him,’ she says, pointing to the shorter boy, and I shrug. ‘Shame. I’m way hotter than him,’ I grin, the boy letting out an indignant noise.

‘I’m getting you a drink, and you’re flirting with someone else?’ I hear Felix’s voice behind me, and I turn my grin to him, my heart jumping at the amused smile on his face, the boy handing me a cup of some fruity flavoured vodka. ‘Ah, you’re the boyfriend? I’d sort her out if I were you – she’s flirting with my girl,’ the shorter boy says, and I roll my eyes. ‘He’s just jealous because he knows I could steal her if I wanted,’ I tease, baiting him, and he scowls at me. ‘Stop trying to steal the demon boy’s girlfriend, please. I’m not in the mood to hold you back from a fight today,’ Felix says, and I look at the shorter boy interestedly. ‘You’re a demon?’ I ask, surprised Felix realised and I didn’t, and he nods. ‘An incubus. So is he,’ he says, pointing at the other boy who gives me a lazy grin, and I look between the three in them with amused interest.

‘This just got way more interesting. A human girl has two incubuses wrapped around her little finger,’ I observe, the taller boy blinking in surprise. ‘I just met her,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘You think she’s hot, though?’ ‘I’m not blind, of course I think she’s hot.’ ‘You got competition, kid,’ I say to the shorter boy, the frown on his face making me hold back a laugh. ‘Anyway, I don’t care about you two. Well done, girl. Bagged yourself… at least one incubus – I don’t know about this guy, but the other one definitely likes you. He’s, like, radiating jealousy right now,’ I tease, enjoying this, and Felix puts an arm around my waist. ‘Okay, that’s enough picking on the human girl and her incubus boyfriends,’ he says softly, the three of them letting out annoyed noises. ‘He’s not her boyfriend!’ ‘He’s not my boyfriend!’ ‘I’m not her boyfriend!’

‘Relax, he’s just kidding,’ I say as Felix begins to pull me towards the living room. ‘You’re a handful,’ he mutters amusedly, and I roll my eyes. ‘It’s fine, Lix, you don’t have to worry about me.’ ‘I don’t. I worry about the poor thing that you piss off to the point where they try to fight you and then you kill them,’ he says tiredly, and I let out a laugh. ‘I wouldn’t kill them. Probably just injure them a little.’ ‘Wow, I’ve really changed you, huh?’ he jokes, and I shove him gently as we reach the farthest corner from the DJ booth, both of us perching on the bay window.

We’re silent for a few moments, just looking at all the partygoers. It’s been quite a few hours now, so people are very drunk. The wolves left a little while ago, ready for their turn, and the vampires are making the most of their absence; they’re all scattered out into the party, biting people (consensually – I think) left, right and centre. The humans here seem at home around us otherworldly beings – in the space of a minute, I notice a human boy making out with a wizard in the corner, a group of human girls and succubuses dancing together in the middle of the room, and a pixie boy on the lap of a human girl, the two of them playing cards with their pixie and human friends. It’s quite nice to see the way everyone mixes together so freely, without worry or judgement, but we all know that nothing like this would happen in any other district. That’s why District 9 is so special.

I look at Felix, the boy deep in thought, and I lean against him, pressing a kiss to his neck. ‘What are you thinking about?’ I ask him against his skin, and I can feel him grin. ‘Whatever you’re thinking about,’ he says, and I groan, making him laugh. ‘That was so cheesy.’ ‘You’re dating an angel, babe. Get used to the cheesy lines.’ ‘I might have to dump you if you use another one.’ ‘If I can deal with you flirting with random human girls and demon boys, and nearly starting a fight with one of them, you can put up with a bad line every now and then,’ he grins, putting a hand on my chin and tilting my head back to press his lips to mine. ‘You’re lucky you’re so cute, because I wouldn’t put up with it from anyone else,’ I grumble when we break apart, and he smiles at me softly.

‘I’m so glad God was fine with it.’ ‘Of course she was! I told you she would be. You just worry too much.’ ‘I know, I know. I can’t believe you spoke to God dressed an angel when you’re literally her biggest betrayer’s daughter.’ ‘Did you just refer to my dad as God’s biggest betrayer?’ I ask with a raised eyebrow, and he winces, making me laugh. ‘Sorry.’ ‘It’s fine. He’s not that good a dad, anyway.’ ‘Oh, God, have you got daddy issues? Would be nice if you’d told me before I started dating you,’ he says, mirth in his eyes, and I shove him gently. ‘You’re so annoying.’ ‘You wouldn’t have me any other way,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes. ‘You’d be boring if you weren’t so annoying.’ ‘Oh, thanks.’ ‘I’m kidding. Kind of. No, I’m joking, I’m joking. I wouldn’t have you any other way,’ I admit when he starts pouting, laughing at the proud grin that stretches across his face.

‘You’re so whipped for me.’ ‘I am not whipped.’ ‘You are.’ ‘Am not.’ ‘It’s okay. I like you whipped. Whipped you is super cute.’ ‘Cute?’ ‘I was gonna say sexy, but I thought that’d make you act up,’ he laughs, and I raise an eyebrow, feeling my eyes glow red and watching the grin from his face slowly slip away. ‘You thought right,’ I reply quietly, hand snaking up his chest to the back of his neck, and he gulps imperceptibly. ‘You think there’s any empty rooms upstairs?’ he asks, hands sliding around my waist, a small smirk on his face. ‘Trust me, I’ll make one empty if I have to,’ I grin and his smile grows as he takes my hands into his, our drinks discarded when he pulls me up from the windowsill. ‘You know,’ he begins, pulling me towards the stairs, ‘I never thought it’d be so sexy to hear you threaten to murder people so we can have sex in an empty bedroom.’

‘I’m so tired of all this romance,’ I wail, throwing myself back against the sofa, and Yuna raises an eyebrow at me, holding back a laugh. ‘Romance?’ ‘She threatened to kill people for him. That’s so romantic.’ ‘She’s a demon, so it’s not a big deal for her.’ ‘Did you just say murder isn’t a big deal?’ I ask, and Yuna is silent for a moment. ‘This party’s changed me,’ she says with horror, making me burst into laughter and momentarily forget about my drunken wallowing. ‘It’s crazy being around all these different… magical people,’ she says quietly, obviously not wanting one of the said magical people around us to hear and take it the wrong way. ‘We’re always around vampires. This isn’t any different, if you think about it,’ I say, reminding myself of vampires and then letting out a dramatic cry, Yuna shaking her head amusedly at me.

‘y/n, just go speak to him if you’re that upset. There’s no point ruining your own Halloween by being all drunk and sad. Just speak to him, get it out of the way, and then you can enjoy yourself!’ she says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be able to enjoy myself if he breaks my heart,’ I say dryly, and she thinks for a second before saying, ‘he already did, didn’t he?’ ‘Well… yeah, but-’ ‘So what have you got to lose? Go, speak to him.’ ‘I thought you were calling him an idiot earlier,’ I say pointedly, and she raises an eyebrow. ‘I was before I realised you’d be moping all night and drowning your sorrows in the worst alcohol I’ve ever smelt in my life,’ she spits, making me laugh when she scrunches up her nose, pushing my cup further away from her. ‘It doesn’t smell that bad.’ ‘Tell that to your breath.’ Yuna!’ ‘I’m kidding! But here,’ she says, reaching into her bag and pulling out bubblegum, handing me two pieces. ‘If you’re gonna go speak to Hyunjin, you don’t want to smell like cheap gin,’ she says as I down the rest of my gin and put the bubblegum in my mouth, quickly chewing it down from solid little shells into stretchy elastic gum.

‘Okay, now go. Seriously,’ she prompts, pushing me up from the sofa, and I nod, looking down at myself. ‘How do I look?’ I ask, and she inspects me. ‘Touch up your lipgloss. And take the jacket off – it covers how cute your top is,’ she says, and I do as she says, applying some more lipgloss from the tube that’s in my back pocket before pulling off my jacket, Yuna taking it from me. Now, I’m just in black leather trousers, a black crop top and black heels, looking more like sexy Sandy than pretty pink lady Sandra Dee. ‘Go. And don’t tell the girls you’re going – they’ll stop you and give you all sorts of stupid advice,’ she instructs, and I nod, heading towards the kitchen before I lose my nerve, avoiding the girls dancing in the middle of the room. I take a deep breath when I reach the door before putting my best uninterested face on, pushing the door open and revelling in the way all eyes turn to me. It’s much quieter in here, due to the door separating us from the loud music, and the fact that it’s very late and a lot of people have already left, so I can hear people whispering about how I look.

I ignore the whispering, not bothering to look around yet because I don’t want Hyunjin to catch me looking at him, and just head towards the fridge, pretending to decide what to have before I reach for a small glass bottle of alcoholic pink lemonade. I close the fridge, looking around the room for straws and I spot them, right beside where the vampire boys stand. I head towards them and they all go quiet, obviously expecting me to speak to them, but I don’t bother, just reaching for the packet of black straws and pulling out a clean one. I begin to walk away, hoping my plan will work, and I have to stop myself from punching the air when I hear Jeongin call out, ‘y/n!’ I turn back around slowly, pretending to be surprised when I see them. ‘Oh, hey! I didn’t see you guys there. Where have you been all night?’ I ask, taking a couple steps towards them but still keeping my distance, my eyes staying on Jeongin and not straying to the annoyingly handsome boy beside him. ‘We’ve been around. The question is, where have you been all night? There’s eight of us, and one of you, and none of us have seen you,’ Changbin says with a grin, and I raise an eyebrow, taking a sip from the lemonade. ‘I’ve been around,’ I reply, and his eyebrows go up, an impressed look on his face. ‘Touché,’ he murmurs, a grin spreading across my face at that.

‘I’m gonna head back to the girls in the living r-’ ‘Why in such a rush, y/n? Stay and chat for a bit,’ Felix says with a small smile, eyes cryptic, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘About what?’ ‘You.’ ‘What about me?’ ‘What you’re dressed up as,’ Felix says, and I laugh softly. ‘I was a pink lady, but I got too hot, so I took my jacket off. Is that all?’ I ask, the boys exchanging a glance. ‘No, no, not quite,’ Jisung says, and I roll my eyes. ‘What else then?’ I ask, sounding exasperated to my own ears. ‘I wanna know why you’re so drunk,’ Seungmin says dryly, and I let out a laugh. ‘I’m not that drunk.’ ‘Your eyes aren’t fully focused, the smell of peach gin is literally dripping off you, and you’re chewing on bubblegum to try and cover it up,’ he says pointedly, and I let out a little sigh. ‘Okay, so maybe I’m a bit drunk. What about it?’ ‘You’re usually so responsible, y/n. It’s not like you to get drunk. What’s going on?’ Minho asks, smirk on his face, and then I realise what’s going on. They know what happened, and they know that I’m hurt and that’s why I’m drunk, and they’re basically dangling it in my face.

‘If you must know,’ I begin, all of them practically hanging off my words, ‘I was drowning my sorrows, but now that I’m so drunk I can barely see straight, I feel a lot better. So good, in fact, that I might take the incubus I spoke to a little while ago up on his offer. So, if you’ll excuse me.’ I turn on my heel, heading back towards the living room, and then I hear his voice. ‘y/n, wait,’ he says softly, and I freeze, taking a deep breath before I turn back to face them, the boy shrinking in on himself when he sees my face. This is the first time I’ve looked at him properly, and it breaks my heart how beautiful he looks, his soft dark locks falling over his eyes, tall and lean build dressed in all black, top few buttons of his shirt unbuttoned and trousers skin tight. ‘Yes?’

‘Drowning your sorrows?’ he asks softly, and I want to scream at him, my eyes filling with tears. ‘The embarrassment of leaving me without a word wasn’t enough, and neither was the ghosting me or the telling your friends about what happened so they could interrogate me whilst I’m smashed, so now you have to humiliate me by making me spell out how hurt I am? Is that what’s going on here?’ I demand, voice wavering, and about a million emotions pass across his face, the most prevalent being guilt. ‘No, y/n, that’s not what I-’ ‘I don’t care. Please… just leave me alone like you have been the past few days,’ I spit out, turning back towards the living room, and then I hear sudden movement, feeling a hand grab my arm a few moments later.

I turn around to see him, desperation on his face, and wrench my arm away angrily. ‘y/n, please, let me… explain,’ he pleads, and I hesitate. This is all I wanted, an explanation, and that’s what I came in here for, but now… I don’t know if I can handle the hurt. We stare at each other for a few seconds until I open my mouth, not quite sure what I’m about to say. ‘Fine. Explain,’ I say quietly, relief appearing on his face. ‘Can we go outside?’ he asks, and I nod as I put my drink down on the counter top, letting him lead the way out of the kitchen and out through the back door, everyone whispering behind us.

‘I’m really sorry,’ he says when we’re sat down on a bench, and I let out a humourless laugh, not even looking at him. ‘You can’t be that sorry; you’ve been ignoring me and avoiding me since that night. No reply to my text, no call back, and you didn’t come to the apartment once. So forgive me for not believing you,’ I spit out, and he lets out a little sigh. ‘y/n, I am sorry. And I know I shouldn’t have ghosted you, but I wasn’t sure what I else to do. I should’ve just spoken to you and explained from the start.’ ‘You don’t need to explain. It’s pretty obvious,’ I say bitterly, and I can see him smiling sadly out of the corner of my eye. ‘No, y/n, you don’t understand,’ he says gently, and I meet his eyes as he tells me, ‘I love you.’

I feel my heart stop, my entire body freezing, and it takes a little while to process what he’s telling me. He loves me. ‘So… I heard right. That night, when I was falling asleep, you said it then, didn’t you?’ I ask, and he nods with sad eyes. ‘And it scared me so much that I left.’ ‘But… I love you too,’ I tell him, and he doesn’t react as I expect, just smiling wistfully and nodding. ‘I know you do. You have for a while, and I’ve been lying to both of us by pretending I didn’t know, and pretending I didn’t love you back. But I did, the whole time. I do.’ His words are all I’ve wanted to hear from him, for so long, and yet, he looks so sad, sounds so sad, and it’s breaking me. Why is he acting like there’s something between us that’s stopping this? ‘You love me, and I love you. What else is there to say?’ I ask, and he lets out a mirthless laugh.

‘You’re a human, and I’m a vampire,’ he says simply, as though that explains everything, and I blink at him before saying, ‘what about it?’ His lips curl up into an amused smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘I’m over 300 years old. You’re, like, a fifteenth of that-’ ‘So what? We look the same age anyway.’ ‘We won’t forever. You’ll only get older, and I’ll stay the same. You’ll be 90 dating a 20-year-old.’ ‘That doesn’t matter. We’re in love, Jin. I don’t care what you look like, or what I look like.’ ‘And neither do I. But I won’t even be able to love you in public in a few years’ time, y/n. People will think you’re, like, my sugar mommy or something.’ ‘But I don’t c-’ ‘And, not just that, you’re alive. I’m dead. We can’t have a family, or have children-’ ‘Ugh, I don’t want kids. I never have,’ I say, nose scrunched up in disgust at the thought – all they do is eat, cry and shit. I’d rather not, to be honest – and he lets out a laugh. ‘You might change your mind as you get older.’ ‘Then we’ll adopt.’ ‘y/n…’ ‘I’m being serious! Wouldn’t you prefer to give a kid a better life than they’d have in the care system? Better than me having to carry a baby and my body getting all fucked up because of it.’ ‘And then the kids we adopt will grow to look older than their dad,’ he says pointedly, and my mouth is open, but no words come out. I’ve run out of solutions.

‘It doesn’t matter, Jin,’ I whisper, and he shakes his head sadly. ‘y/n, you’re being silly. You know that it’d never work out. I love you and you love me, but I can’t ask you to give your life to me, when I can’t give mine to you. We can’t grow old together, can’t start a family, can’t love each other in public – these are basic things in a human relationship.’ ‘But we wouldn’t be a human relationship.’ ‘Which is exactly the problem,’ he says softly, and I don’t even know what to say, my eyes full of tears. ‘I’m sorry, y/n. This wasn’t supposed to happen, but you make it too easy for me to love you,’ he whispers, taking my hands into his and my tears spill over onto my face, making him let out a gentle laugh. ‘Don’t cry,’ he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss my tears away, and my eyes flutter shut. I wish I could live in this moment with him forever.

‘Okay, I’ve got a solution,’ I say, mustering up the courage to tell him something that’s been on mind for months now, and he breaks away from me with a raised eyebrow. ‘Living in seclusion so we don’t have to deal with people judging us for the difference in the ages that we look?’ he asks suspiciously, and I laugh. ‘That’s not what I was gonna say, but it’s a good idea,’ I joke, and he rolls his eyes. ‘It is not. What’s your solution?’ he asks, and I take a deep breath before saying, ‘you turn me.’

He doesn’t react, just staring at me for a few seconds before he says, ‘I must be losing my mind because I could swear you just suggested me turning you into a vampire.’ ‘I did.’ ‘y/n, are you fucking crazy?’ he demands, and I sigh. ‘Jin, hear me out-’ ‘No! Are you actually insane? There is no way in fucking hell!’ ‘Why not, Jin? What would I lose? The pale thing is a myth, the burning in the sun thing is a myth, the-’ ‘y/n, are you listening to yourself? That stuff might be myths, but you will have to drink blood to survive! You will watch generations of humans that you love die! You will lose your humanity!’ ‘Jin… I don’t care. The blood thing doesn’t bother me at all. You haven’t lost your humanity, so I don’t think I will either. And… maybe it’ll suck seeing my family die, but my friends… they want the same too, Jin. We’ve all been thinking about it and discussing it, and we all want to turn,’ I admit, his eyes nearly falling out of his head.

‘This isn’t, like, a matching tattoos thing! This is serious!’ ‘We know, Hyunjin, we’re not stupid! We’ve been discussing it for months! But I don’t care if they do or not – I want to anyway. I want to be with you… forever,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘No. I won’t turn you, and I won’t let anyone else do it either. It’s not happening.’ ‘Hyunjin, please. This isn’t a spur of the moment thing. I promise I’ve thought it through. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of time with you. I was just waiting to see if you felt the same way before I mentioned it to you. It doesn’t have to happen straight away, obviously, but I just want you to consider it,’ I say, and he shakes his head. ‘You don’t understand. My selfish side wants it more than anything – you think I don’t want to spend the rest of time with you? But my responsible side can’t let you give up human life for me.’ ‘Why? It’s what we both want. We’ll be happy, Jin, so happy, forever. I don’t expect you to agree to it, but promise me you’ll at least think about it, and we’ll discuss it regularly,’ I say, and he doesn’t say anything, looking down at his hands. ‘Please, Jin,’ I plead, and he sighs deeply before his eyes meet mine, my heart stopping like it does every time he looks at me.

‘I’ll think about it. That’s all,’ he says over my loud shout of celebration, an amused smile curling up his lips as I throw my arms around his shoulders, his hands coming around my waist to hold me against him. I tilt my head back to press my lips to his, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his kiss – it’s only been a few days, and it feels like a lifetime. He grins against my mouth and we break away after a few seconds, his lips coming to my forehead. ‘I love you,’ he murmurs against my skin, and I feel like I’ve never been happier when I reply, ‘I love you too.’

We stand up from the bench after a little while, holding hands as we head back up to the house. ‘You wanna dance?’ he asks, and I can’t say yes quickly enough, my eagerness making him chuckle. ‘Oh, the girls are gonna kill me.’ ‘Why?’ he asks, and I hesitate before replying, ‘maybe because they all hate you for ghosting me, and we’ve been cussing you nonstop since you left.’ His mouth drops, fear in his eyes, and I wave it off. ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine when I explain. But they didn’t even know I was coming to speak to you.’ ‘Well, neither did you. You came to get a drink,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘You’re 300 years old and you still don’t know about girls, do you? I came to get a drink because I knew you’d speak to me, stupid,’ I say as though it’s obvious, and his eyes widen. ‘You’re so sly.’ ‘Oh, whatever. You should be glad. If I hadn’t set it up, we wouldn’t be…’ I trail off, not actually sure what we are, and a small smirk spreads across his lips.

‘Wouldn’t be what?’ ‘I don’t know. What… are we?’ I ask, and he laughs. ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ he asks amusedly, as though he thinks it’s silly, and I know he’s only asking for my benefit. ‘Yes,’ I grin, preening at the question, and he rolls his eyes. ‘So we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, I suppose,’ he laughs, and I laugh along with him, half finding it ridiculous that after confessing that I want to be a vampire so I can spend the rest of my life with him, our relationship is reduced down to boyfriend and girlfriend, and half ecstatic that I can officially call Hwang Hyunjin my boyfriend.

‘Do you know how exciting this is?’ I ask, and he chuckles, raising an eyebrow. ‘We’ve practically been dating for months already anyway.’ ‘I know, but it’s official. Now I can tell people you’re my boyfriend instead of saying you’re my hot friend,’ I explain, and he looks at me in confusion. ‘Who have you been saying that to?’ ‘On nights out, when girls would ask if you’re my boyfriend. I’d say no, you’re my hot friend, and they’d ask if you were single.’

‘And what would you tell them?’ he asks suspiciously, and I bite my lip. ‘No. Obviously. Why would I want all these pretty girls trying to get with you?’ ‘You’re the only pretty girl I’d ever want, y/n,’ he murmurs, making my heart skip a beat, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘I’m being serious! Look how hot you are in your… costume,’ he says amusedly, eyes travelling up and down my body, and I roll my eyes. ‘I promise you, I was wearing my Pink Ladies jacket a little while ago,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow, taking his own jacket off and putting it over my shoulders. ‘That’s better. I don’t like people looking at what’s mine,’ he says lightly, only half-joking, and I feel my stomach fill with butterflies. ‘Now,’ he says sternly, face serious but eyes shining with amusement, ‘what did you say about an offer from an incubus?’

5 YEARS LATER

Chan and y/n are married and living together in the house next door to the pack house, raising three little werewolf pups. y/n still works night shifts at the diner because she’ll miss it too much if she leaves, and she’s the only one who knows the wolves’ after-turning orders off by heart. She has it ready for them when they arrive, and she feels herself falling in love with him all over again each time he walks in, the same way she did the first time he walked in with his sandy hair and his bright sparkling eyes.

Minho and y/n are in a long-distance relationship – she’s in District 9 and he’s in the 2nd Circle of Hell. He stays at her apartment a couple nights a week, and he takes her for date night every Saturday. Ryujin and Chaeryeong are also seeing a couple of Minho’s friends – y/n’s friends and his friends make quite the dysfunctional group. y/n found a ring in his jacket a little while ago and has been waiting for him to propose, waiting eagerly until she can say yes. She hasn’t come up with a solution to the problem of him not aging when she does, but that can come later, because their love is all that matters to her right now.

Changbin and y/n are happily ruling together in the 5th Circle, doing whatever they can to turn demon hunters back to their original state. They have had a child together and y/n is pregnant again – Minho and his girlfriend pay regular visits because of how much the human girl adores their child. They are old, so old, but y/n feels like a little girl when she’s with Changbin – their love keeps them young and happy, and will do so for the rest of time.

Hyunjin and y/n still live in their apartment, now as an engaged vampire couple. They’ve been engaged for a couple years now and still haven’t started wedding planning yet – they have all of eternity to do that. Lia and Yeji have both turned, and Yuna, Ryujin and Chaeryeong plan to do so too, in the next year or so. y/n’s family knows what she and Hyunjin are, and they have since gotten over their initial despair about the fact that their baby girl will stay this way for the rest of time, and the couple are always welcome at family events. The two have discovered that vampire blood tastes so much better than human blood, and has better effects than human blood too. y/n is still Hyunjin’s little blood bag, but she has a particular fondness for the name now.

Jisung and y/n have their own apartment together in District 9, and they are very much in love. At the beginning, y/n found it difficult that Jisung has sex with people for a living, and so they began… training y/n, building up her stamina and tolerance in a sexual sense, and now she can satiate Jisung alone. Even if she couldn’t, Jisung still wouldn’t have sex with anybody else – she’s the only one he ever wants. y/n and Seonghwa are good friends now, and Jisung and y/n regularly meet up with Seonghwa and his husband (Jisung found it hilarious when they got news of Seonghwa being closeted all that time – he claimed that it made perfect sense because no straight human boys are good enough at sex to get the title of Sex God). y/n still gets a little upset that Jisung can’t get her pregnant, but she’s come to terms with it and the couple have now started to look into adoption.

Felix and y/n have bought a house together on Earth, their common ground, and are engaged – y/n found it slightly ridiculous when Felix proposed to her, considering they’re otherworldly beings that don’t really conform to humans’ customs like marriage, but she still said yes in a heartbeat. Lucifer and God both regularly reach out to the couple, asking them to visit, and have even showed up at their house a few times (it was more than awkward when they both visited at the same time). Felix and y/n stayed a few weeks in the 5th circle with Satan’s daughter and her love, and their child took a particular liking to Felix. After seeing him with the child, y/n suggested they have children of their own, and they have begun trying to get pregnant.

Seungmin and y/n are living together in District 9, the two of them slowly aging together as a happy married couple. y/n redecorated Room 13 at the surgery for Seungmin, and she much prefers it now, spending a lot of her time there with him, training to become a magical nurse. Seungmin’s mum was over the moon when y/n started making appearances at family events again, and she played the part of the enthusiastic mother-in-law perfectly at their wedding a year ago. y/n is still trying her best to be a nicer person, and she is mainly succeeding. She slips up every now and then, but Seungmin is always at her side to pull her up on it.

Jeongin and y/n lived together at 325 Sunshine Street for a little over three years before Jeongin sat y/n down to tell her that he wouldn’t be a ghost for much longer, and would be passing over to the afterlife soon, as he had discovered that his unfinished business was the house. He’d found someone worthy of living in the house, and they’d truly made it a home – where he and his friends had made it fit to live in, a house in only a home once it’s full of light, love and life. And once y/n had brought that, his business on earth was finished. She held back her sadness over the last few weeks of his time with her, and threw a farewell party with all of his friends. She felt her heart break when she awoke one morning to find that the other side of the bed was empty, and he was gone forever. Jeongin’s friends drop in nearly every day to check on y/n, and she’s doing much better than she was when he first left. She still misses him, more and more every day, but she’ll be okay, because she knows that even if she can’t see him, he’s always with her, no matter what.

[svu-ncis-criminalminds]

Exclusive

An Anon requested : Reid request where he finds out the reader has been seeing/hooking up with other guys so he has to figure out a way to ask her to be exclusive. A smidgen of angst is appreciated but we’re here for the fluff™️

Reid stood in front of your apartment door, a bag of groceries in his free hand as he knocked. You’d mentioned how stressed you’d been and how you hadn’t had time to meal prep this week so you were mostly eating take out and junk food. He wanted to surprise you with dinner. He waited at the door for you to open it, hearing you before he saw you as you talked to someone on the other side of the door. Maybe this was a bad idea, too soon.

When you opened the door you looked almost ethereal, clothes and hair slightly messy, lips pink like how they look after he’d been kissing you.. Spencer's face fell.

“Spence?” You asked, there was alarm in your voice, your eyes were wide and even as he felt anger in his gut he still thought you looked beautiful. You looked surprised, which was no surprise seeing as how Spencer had just shown up out of the blue. He felt like an idiot.

“Hey.” He responded lamely, trying not to look like he was trying to look around you into the apartment, even though he was totally trying to look behind you into the apartment. You noticed and there was uncomfortable silence. Suddenly there was a man standing behind you looking slightly annoyed. Spencer wanted to hit him but instead he just swallowed hard.

“Whose this guy?” He asked and Spencer couldn’t hold his tongue.

“Whose are you?” He snapped back. You looked embarrassed but Spencer felt protective. Who was this guy to ask you who he was? The guy raised an eyebrow turning to you.

“Is this your boyfriend?” He asked. Spencer held his breath. You turned red.

“No.” The answer was firm, it stung. No one said anything for another awkward pause, you were the first to break the silence. “I think you should go.” You murmured and Spencer felt his chest tighten as he opened his mouth to apologize. But you weren’t looking at him. Both men stared at you in surprise so you repeated yourself, “I think you should leave.” Spencer didn’t move as the guy huffed and stalked back into the apartment to grab his jacket. You and Spencer stood in the doorway and waited and when he left he bumped into Spencer’s shoulder for good measure.

“Do you want to come in?” Your words were carefully selected and Spencer could see you were trying to remain neutral.

“Sure.” Spencer came into your apartment and set the bag down beside the door.

“What is that?” You asked, arms wrapped around yourself as you watched him.

“Oh. Uh, the reason I came here. Groceries, I wanted to.. Cook you dinner, you said you’d been too busy.. I got done work early.” He tried to explain himself, tripping over his words. It felt like such a good idea when he came up with it, but now it felt like his biggest mistake. “Who was that?” He added. You frowned letting out a low breath.

“Just some guy I met out with my friends last week.” You admitted, you weren’t going to lie. Spencer grimaced but nodded.

“Didn’t know you were seeing other people.” Spencer leaned against the wall, you leaning against the sofa across from him. Your face went slightly darker and for once flashed annoyance instead of guilt.

“You didn’t ask. You weren’t exactly clear about what you were looking for.” Spencer nodded. That was fair.

“You’re not exactly forthcoming with information either, you know.” Another pregnant pause as slightly too much time passed, both of you trying to find your bearings in the conversation.

“Thank you,” You broke it, pointing towards the back on the floor, “That was sweet.” You offered a small smile, “I’m sorry I ruined the surprise.”

“No, no.” He assured, standing up, “You didn’t ruin anything, I shouldn’t have… I mean I should have warned you. You’re right, we hadn’t discussed it. I’m not your boyfriend.” Spencer gestured as he tried to find the words. “I like you, Y/N.” You smiled.

“I like you too, Spencer.”

“I mean I exclusively like you.” You smiled and he felt some of his confidence come back to him, “And I would really like it if you would exclusively like me back.” He finished.

“I’d like that too.”

“So then, you’re my girlfriend?” You nodded and Spencer grinned moving closer to you to place a kiss on your cheek. “Well then, let me cook my girlfriend dinner.”

[heart-eye-harrington]

almost

Summary: You and Steve never but a label on things, but you found out it wasn’t exclusive the hard way. After nearly two years and Steve’s heart being broken, he sees what he’s done wrong ~ part two for this 

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: a few curse words, mentions of blood (Steve’s S2 injuries)

Author’s Note: Hi! This is my first time writing a part two so whoop! I few people requested this and I hope you enjoy! lmk if I should do this more often ♡

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★

It had been a year since you left Steve in the woods and he left you with a broken heart. How do you measure a year? For you, it was in used tissue boxes, emptied tubs of ice cream, and cheesy romance novels read. You counted the year on your dependency on these things to escape. Getting over the boy you tutored was a seemingly impossible feat. How do you get over someone who was never truly yours? 

Although the two of you never put a label on it, you decided you should. It would be a good step to move on, something to give you some sort of closure. While you would probably never know what you were to him, you know what he was to you. 

You decided on almost. 

He was almost yours. He was almost in love with you. He was almost a boyfriend, or even more. You almost turned around to him in the woods to hear him out, but you knew even then the boy you knew was gone. You were haunted by the ghost of what could have been, of who you thought you knew. 

You tried what you could, dodging him in the hall, not walking out to that parking lot, and avoiding the woods like the plague. Over time things seemed to return to normal. Every once in a while you’d feel a set of eyes on you, only to turn and see Steve with an unreadable look, but you learned to ignore how it made you feel. You deserved better than this King Steve he had become. 

You and Steve’s sophomore year came and went. You think he passed English but weren’t sure, you weren’t his problem anymore and he wasn’t yours. 

What you were sure of was that with each passing day he seemed to fall more head over heels in love with a sophomore named Nancy Wheeler. She seemed nice and Steve looked happy. 

Junior year was yet another year of counting. Instead of counting escapes, of avoiding how you felt, you focused on you and your needs, throwing yourself into things you loved. You tutored again, worked on college applications, and even volunteered at the library. You became so busy you barely had enough time to think about the buzz around Steve and Nancy. 

★

After what was probably the longest night of his life, Steve slumped into his BMW. Blankly staring into the darkness through the windshield, he tries to process it all. 

He was hurt. 

His ears were still ringing, his head was still pounding. He knew Billy had given him a good shiner, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t manage. What hurt worse was his chest. It had been tight and uncomfortable since he saw the wilted roses still sitting on the passenger’s seat. 

He doesn’t quite know where he’s driving, still a bit punch drunk. Autopilot kicks in, his body not trusting itself with the sensory overload. It probably wasn’t the safest thing, driving like this, but he couldn’t just sit outside the Byer’s house.

Instead, he finds himself outside your house. He doesn’t have time to question it, he’s too focused on the comfort washing over him. For the first time in a while, he’s able to take a deep breath, though it doesn’t completely clear his head. 

Steve finds the only light on is the one in your room. A lamp in the corner illuminates your silhouette, the lampshade softening it. Even with just an outline, he recognized how relaxed you seem, knowing you’re up late reading again.

The picture-perfect world Steve thought he knew had changed, flipped, shaken, and broken. He felt as if he had finally solved a puzzle, only to have a new one thrown into the mix. Both were printed on the same shaped pieces, so the two would mesh together into a surreal montage. In all the chaos you remained the same, a comforting constant, just the same as you were two years ago.

Two years? 

Steves know this is crazy. He knows it’s selfish. He knows how much he’s hurt you know. If you felt even a fraction of the pain he’s feeling after Nancy, he can’t even imagine how you’ll react. Despite it all, he’s calling for you to come to the window. By some miracle, you do. 

“Steve? Oh my, oh my god! Are you okay?” you call from your window. The words come out of your mouth so quickly you don’t realize how weird it is to say his name for the first time in years. All you know is that it’s nearly two in the morning and a battered Steve is staring at you from outside your window. He looks so small and vulnerable, much different than the larger than life persona built around him. The facade breaks even more when he can’t find words, only giving you a sad head shake. You almost feel stupid. Of course, he’s not okay. He wouldn’t come back if he was. 

Your feet can’t seem to carry you fast enough down the stairs. The front door is pulled open and Steve brought to your parents’ master bathroom. Luckily for you, they were out of town on a business trip. You gently place Steve on counter space between the double sink and grab the first aid kit from underneath. No words are exchanged until you’re dabbing the cut above his eye. It’s the first time you’re looking into them since he broke your heart. The realization seems to be mutual, Steve shifting and clearing his throat. Not being able to stand the tension, you try your best at conversation. 

“How’d you get like this?” brows stitched together, you continue gingerly pressing the hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton ball over his cuts. 

“Uh, Billy Hargrove” He shifts again, hissing slightly after you touch an especially sore spot.

“Sorry, I’m trying not to hurt you.” your words cause a dry laugh to fall from his chest.

“After all the shit I put you through? No, no I deserve worse.” 

His words stop you completely, hand now frozen, hovering inches from his face. It’s like a malfunction, programming never designed or prepared for a situation like this. He can’t mean what he’s saying, he got the shit beat out of him and probably has a concussion. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. You almost speak, but he stops you.

“I know it’s not fair for me to come to see you after what I did, but I couldn’t stop myself. All I could think about was how you made me feel back then. Like when you read my terrible essays you wouldn’t make me feel stupid. You didn’t scribble all over it in red ink, because you told me red was mean and you wanted me to feel good about reading your notes, so you used purple. You put up with my whining and read every assigned book with me cause I didn’t want to do it alone. I felt like I could be myself and you wouldn’t judge me...then I had to be an idiot and I lost you.”

His words hang in the air, and neither of you knows what to do with them. Your subconscious jumps on the opportunity.

“Steve, listen, I know we never put a label on anything, but why? Why? Did you even think about me? About how I would feel? Cause I never stopped thinking about you! That’s why I did all that stuff for you when I helped you. I wanted to help. I wanted to make you feel comfortable. I wanted to make you feel happy and that someone cared for you. I care about you so damn much, and you threw it all away. Why would you do that?” The floodgate was open. Hot tears streamed down your face, blurring the boy in front of you as if your body wanted to shield you from the hurt. 

Steve sinks into himself, eyes trained on his lap. He takes your words and lets them wash over him. You deserve an answer, but not the one he’ll give you. 

“I wasn’t thinking about anything. Tommy H. said if I was gonna be cool like him I had to build a reputation. I never really questioned any of it until I realized how stupid it all was. What good was it being called the king at school if no one cares about you at night when you’re alone?”

You nod through your tears, which have calmed down a bit. You know what he’s trying to say

“Yeah, a king is only as strong as his people. Take away the people and he’s just a man. Or, in your case, a boy.” Steve laughs, shaking his head.

“See, that’s why you’re the English tutor. You read between the lines, find out what people are really saying.” You both chuckle. For a moment, things feel normal. You’re back in his car eating fast food after hours in the library. It’s just you and Steve in your own little bubble. The outside world doesn’t exist. Nothing cold, only warmth and laughter. As the laughter dies, so does the illusion. You’re staring at a hurt Steve and he’s finally seeing the hurt he’s caused you. 

“Steve. You gave me an explanation, and while I appreciate that, it’s not an excuse. Now, I don’t know what you want from me. To forgive you? To leave you alone now that you’ve gotten that off your chest?” You don’t dare say anything else, not wanting your hope for something more to break through. Steve still can’t meet your eyes for more than a few seconds at a time, frustration at himself drawing his eyebrows together.

“I don’t know what I want. I just know that I missed you and that I was an idiot. I guess I just didn’t know what it felt like to have your heart broken. I’d never wish it on anyone, especially you. I can never be sorry enough”

You close your eyes and sigh, praying you won’t regret this.

“It’s gonna take some time, but I’ll forgive you. But before I do, I need to know what you want from this. What will we be?”

“Can we be friends? I almost lost you, and I don’t want to lose you this time.” the ghost of a smile threatens his lips, edged out by the horror of breaking your heart again.

The word almost sticks out. You almost got away, but he pulled ou back in. You had faith in this new Steve. He’d matured these last two years for reasons you weren’t sure, but you believed in him. You believed he would be better, that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. To be honest, you missed him too.

“Of course. Friends it is.”

[welcome-to-the-gay-bar]

So I we started to watch Attack on Titan again after many years and I’ve just finished season two and before starting season three I wanted to take a trip down memory lane and look at all my old favourite AOT fan fictions from 2014 (and see what’s popular nowadays that I may have missed, since wow, a lot has changed since I was last present in this fandom and compared to what’s happening in the current episodes season one was tame).

I’ve noticed a huge divide between fanon and canon and I kinda wanted to ruminate on this a bit.

Eren’s character in the show isn’t my favourite. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still fond of this brash idiot, but he’ll never be my favourite. He falls into this shonen protagonist trope of being hot headed and ill tempered. He doesn’t take advice, he’s not going to listen to plans or authority, he always thinks he’s right and only follows his moral compass, and to tie it all up he’s not even that strong. He can’t back up the threats that he’s laying down and yet he always rushes into situations with fists flying and never thanks or appreciates the characters (Mikasa) that get him out of those tricky situations. The only way to get through to him is to physically beat him down and even then it may not work if he hadn’t already somewhat respected you (Mikasa again). This character type is seen so often in shonen and I’m really not a fan, I like the cool and calculating protagonist better. Someone who has the power behind their threats and doesn’t rush into situations. Again, I like Eren, but I think it’s the other characters in the show that balance him out and the plot itself that makes me like Attack on Titan.

Compare this to fanon where his default character is happy ray of sunshine who’s a little bit naive. It’s a rather jarring comparison but I also don’t necessarily dislike it either. To me canon and fanon characteristics are almost completely seperate. If I had to always think a d compare fan fiction to canon I probably couldn’t read it. I read about happy fanon Eren and see canon angry Eren and to me they are two completely different characters - two completely different people even. If I had to read fan fiction about canon Eren I can 1000000% say that I just wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I’d be totally bored. As I said before, I like Eren but it’s the people around him and the plot itself that makes him bearable. I can watch a show about him because it takes less time and emotional energy, but I couldn’t invest in reading a book about him (which is why I haven’t read the manga either).

This isn’t even exclusively towards Attack on Titan. Back in my Teen Wolf phase I noticed how different canon and fanon characters were. Small secret - I was knee deep in the Teen Wolf fandom before I realised that I hadn’t actually watched an episode of Teen Wolf. One of my mutual’s reblogged TW artwork that was linked to a story and from that I never looked back. When I actually did get around to watching TW I can honestly say I was more than a wee bit disillusioned. Derek and Stiles are obviously not the main characters and I was prepared for that, but then they barely interacted, and when they did interact it was nothing like what I had read about - nothing like what their fanon characters or interactions were like. I can honestly say that I never made it past the first season - the show just wasn’t for me - but I was still thoroughly invested in the fandom for another year or two.

Something about fanon Sterek dynamics just did it for me, their characters and relationship was just so on point for what I wanted, and this is kind of when I came to accept that canon and fanon can be so different that it almost feels as if it’s two pieces of completely different media. I mean, fanon has its own set of rules, it’s own character tropes and story arcs that even completely different authors with completely different stories somewhat instinctively know to follow. I think that’s amazing, but it’s also a double edged sword. See these first two examples were of shows that I A) never watched/finished before reading fan fiction, B) don’t necessarily love love the characters in canon. That means that fanon is more appealing because it takes something I don’t care too strongly for and changes it to something more appealing. But what about when fanon takes something I love and cherish and remoulds it?

I want to briefly take this time to talk about something I’ve dubbed “the twink affect”. When you take a character that’s originally strong willed, self sufficient, and somewhat masculine and you pair the, up with someone EVEN MORE strong willed, self sufficient, and masculine - the “Alpha male” of characters if you will. I find that fanon is incapable of seeing two strong men together in a relationship and will eventually slowly twinkify one of them. Make them smaller, softer, lonelier, less self sufficient and more reliant on others, they need to be taken care of, they’re now a ball of sunshine that’s radiant and joyful, they’re cotton candy that melts on your tongue. You put them next to the pairing you ship them with and instead of seeing two strong men you see a bear and a twink. That’s definitely what’s happened to the two characters/pairings mentioned before and I honestly didn’t mind because I wasn’t protective of the source material, but when it does happen to a character I love it’s the most frustrating thing in the world, and I can’t even complain because I’ve already reaped the benefits from other fandoms. (I am going to complain though, this is my blog and I can do what I want mum.)

I’m going to talk about Mo Dao Zu Shi. Beautiful story that I love in (almost) all its various adaptations, but I’ve noticed the ever slow changing of fanon’s Wei Wuxian. For anyone reading this that hasn’t read MDZS (or if anyone’s reading this at all, I am expecting to just be shouting into the void at this point) Wei Wuxian dies - not a spoiler, it happens at the very beginning of the story - and comes back to life in the body of Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu is small malnourished and twinky - he even canonically wears makeup (or at least has it in his possession, I’m getting the various adaptations confused and I can’t remember if in canon Wei Wuxian woke up in Mo Xuanyu’s body already wearing the makeup or if he just finds the tin of makeup in Mo Xuanyu’s possessions). Wei Wuxian’s character is also a bit of a tease, and now he’s alive and unburdened by the past he’s much freer now than he was in the past, couple that with the fact that he’s pretending to be Mo Xuanyu (a character who is rumoured to be gay and also a bit insane) he goes all out in pretending to be a shameless flirt, and it’s honestly hilarious, I love his character. So in a sense he has all the makings of a canon twink and I’m really not here to shame on those who portray him that way while he’s in Mo Xuanyu’s body.

My personal issue is with the same extreme twink portrayal while he’s in his original body. In his original body Wei Wuxian is BUFF. He’s hunky, he’s in the top five most eligible bachelors, he’s *car honks* woof woof bark bark *whistles* puurrrr, he’s one of the most powerful cultivators of his generation, he’s a genius too. He’s hunky. He still has the cheeky shameless character, but when you compare him to the male lead Lan Wangji, they’re about the same size and strength. My favourite type of fan fiction in MDZS is fix it/everybody lives nobody dies/no war/etc etc. Basically stories where Wei Wuxian keeps his original body. The fanon twink portrayal of him being so small and soft and weak while in canon he’s one of the strongest and smartest urks me in ways I can’t explain. It’s not what I want, not what I’m looking for. I love him for who he is in canon and to see his character so distorted by fans of the original work is frustrating. I just want to read about Wei Wuxian as a jock with his equally buff and tall nerd boyfriend.

I want to pause here and say that I have nothing against authors that write him in a twinky way, I respect your work and your characters (and as I said before I’ve reaped the benefits of other fandoms twinky character portrayals numerous times), if I read a fic that I’m not happy with the characterisation I just close the tab and move on so absolutely no hate to anyone who enjoys this character type. I’m just ruminating on the fact that I’ve been seeing it happen more and more often lately to the point where I’ve kind of bounced the fandom and am sticking to other works like Scum Villain that haven’t yet twinkified too much (there will always be one or two stories in every fandom that twinkify and honestly? I respect that. Authors said twink rights ONLY, good for them).

Mo Dao Zu Shi isn’t the only fandom I’ve been in that I’ve negatively reacted to fanon. Another one would be Batman (I love Tim with all my heart and I love him getting treated nicely but damn I sometimes wish people would remember how freaking strong and amazing he is too), 2Ha is another I’ve started to see “twinkified” (although I don’t mind seeing Chu Wanning being soft and taken care of, he is canonically called handsome and masculine and he’s quite tall too), I’ve even seen the canonically “top” character (and that seems so weird to write oml) be twinkified by fandom because they want to see him get bottomed for ~equal rights~ because apparently bottoming is seen as a “woman’s position” to them and they’re trying to be woke by switching the sexual positions up but failing to see how misogynistic and homophobic that take is (imma stop myself here because that a WHOLE ‘nother can or worms to be opened right there).

What I’m trying to say is fanon is a double edged sword and I’ve definitely enjoyed some and hated some. I think it’s important to seperate the two. I do think it’s annoying for fandoms to be flooded with mischaracterisation when you actually do like the original characters and I wish there was some way to seperate fandom into “actual canon fans” and “fans of fanon”, but I don’t have a solution and I’ve definitely contributed to the problem in the past so for that I’m sorry.

I don’t know how to end this long ass rant, I don’t know what the goal was in writing this, but taadaa ~ here’s my exceptionally long take on fanon.