#we are all gonna be cruel in small human ways sometimes!!! it’s ok!! we just gotta be kind in those ways too.

[necromycologist]

gotta say i love the sheer bitchiness of everybody in lockwood n co. im SERIOUS.

[cobaltusami]

Can we get a Ishimondo fic please? Maybe lee!Mondo but its up to you lee!Taka is fine too. May we a tk fic with ishimondo is all I request if its ok friend.

I mcfricking love these two dorks so much-- I had a blast writing this so thank you so much for requesting It friend!

Words: 2746

Characters: Lee!Mondo, Ler!Taka

Pairing: Ishimondo

EDIT: Part two Is here!

Part two: Lesson Learned

Merciless

The library was normally vacant at this hour, as most sane people were In their beds sleeping at three In the morning. Not Kiyotaka Ishimaru though. And by proxy, neither was Mondo Owada, whom Taka had pulled out of bed at this ungodly hour to help study before classes started for the day.

Mondo propped his face up with his hand, His eyes half open as Taka droned on about biology. Was he listening? Well… An attempt was certainly made. But that was It.

The biker hadn’t even had time to fix his hair or throw on real clothes when his boyfriend came barging In- Something he normally didn’t mind but found a bit much today.

He had time to quickly throw on a zip up jacket and throw his hair up into a messy bun, a look he didn’t particularly care to sport. At least his pajama pants sort of matched his jacket…

“Mondo! Are you even listening to me??” Taka stopped his lecture suddenly, whipping around to face his half asleep boyfriend.

“Huh? Yeah, Totally.” Mondo mumbled, sitting upright and rubbing his eyes. 

“Repeat back what I just said.” Taka challenged, folding his arms as he sat down across from the other student.

“You were talking about bones and stuff.” He yawned and stretched.

Taka sighed, resting his arms on the table. “Yes but you aren’t taking In anything I’m saying.” He responded in a softer tone.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying It’s just…” Mondo felt his face flush with embarrassment. “It’s too god damn early In the morning!” 

He tried to put on his usual annoyed or angry tone, But he failed miserably. This didn’t go unnoticed by the energized student.

“Is something else bothering you? Is It me? Do you not like studying with me?” Taka rambled anxiously. “Because I-If so, I can ask someone else to--”

“No! No, It’s nothing like that.” Mondo interrupted, He reached across the table and grabbed Taka’s hands, holding them in his own slightly trembling one’s. “I-It’s just… I’m sorry.” He sighed, Looking away.

“What Is It? What’s bothering you, Bro?”

Mondo flinched, internally shoving his feelings aside as he refused to look at Ishimaru. “Don’t worry about It.” He replied in a softer tone.

Taka knew Mondo quite well by now, as they had been dating for several months. He knew that something was definitely troubling the Biker gang leader, And that he would sooner convince Leon that baseball was fun than he would get him to discuss what was troubling him.

That’s why he needed some... Encouragement.

“Fine. I guess we should continue then.” He pulled his hands away slowly, he didn’t really want to break the hold but it was required for this to work. “Perhaps I need a more direct teaching method.”

Mondo quizzically studied his face. What could he mean by that?

Taka got up and went over to Mondo’s side. “What are the bones in your spine called?”

“Wha? That’s not In the…”

“Answer my question.”

Mondo narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the raven haired student. What Is he up to? “Vertebrae.”

“Very good. How many are there?” Taka walked around him, Standing behind him now.

“Fuck If I know, That’s not even on this upcoming tes--” Mondo clamped his mouth shut as he felt a finger slowly trailing up his spine. He arched his back away from the strange sensations as he stifled a giggle. “What the fuck are you doing?!” He snapped.

As he tried to turn around In his seat to fix Taka with a glare, He felt Taka place his forearm against the back of his shoulders near his neck, and pushed him down against the table, pinning him there.

“How many Vertebrae make up the spine?” He repeated the question calmly, As If this were totally normal.

“Get the hell off of me!” He complained, struggling. Taka was surprisingly strong, able to hold him in place with relative ease.

He felt fingers begin to lightly scribble around his back, paying special attention to his spine. He tried to suppress his giggles, But found he was unable to due to being so tired. “T-Tahahaka! What the hehehell are you doing?!”

“I’m helping you study.” He answered without missing a beat. “How many Vertebrae are there?”

“Thihihihirty threehehehehe!” He giggled tiredly, Relieved when the tickling stopped momentarily.

“Correct. See? You did know! It Is The Cervical, The Thoracic, The Lumbar, and The Caudal vertebrae that make up the spine.” He informed him. “Where on your spine Is the Cervical?”

“The neck.”

“Good. How many of those thirty three are Cervical Vertebrae?” He asked, Smirking.

“I-I don’t know!” Mondo stammered, feeling butterflies fluttering around in his stomach.

“That’s not an answer, Kyoudai.” Taka teased, fluttering his fingers lightly against his neck. 

This action drew an actual squeal from the tough biker as he tried to turn his head to protect his neck. “Tahahahaka! Stahahahap Ihit!”

“As soon as you answer my question!” The Ultimate Moral Compass couldn’t help but chuckle at the not so manly sounds coming from Mondo-- who by the way, was giggling quite adorably at the moment he might add.

“I dohohohon’t knohohow!” He tittered, squirming around to no avail.

“Think about It, how many does it feel like?” Taka hummed. Adjusting his hold on Mondo, he was now able to use his other hand to tickle his neck. He used his other hand to press into each vertebrae in his neck carefully. “Count out loud, How many Is It?” 

Mondo decided that Taka was enjoying this waaaay too much, and he was so gonna get it later. “Onehehe, Twohoho… Threehehee, F-Fohohour…”

Taka suddenly leaned forward and smothered the side of Mondo’s neck with raspberries, Causing him to shriek in surprise.

“FihihivEEEEE! HAHAHAHA! T-TAHAHAKAaAaA!”

“Oh, Whoops, Looks like you lost count. Guess I’ll just start over for you.” He smiled, starting over at the top of his neck. “Don’t lose count this time~”

“I swehehear to gohohod, You’re sohohoho dead after thihis!” He giggled, sending his best glare over his shoulder at his evil boyfriend.

“You’re not counting, Kyoudai~” He sang teasingly, speeding up the tickles to his neck.

Mondo began laughing now, complying with his demands and counting aloud once again.

After some very s l o w movements down his neck, most likely to extend the tickles and make him suffer, he finally arrived at the last vertebrae. “Seheheheven! Ihihihit’s seheheven!” 

Taka relented, pulling back and releasing Mondo from his hold. “Very good!” He beamed.

While Mondo was leaning back in his seat catching his breath, Taka thought about his next attack. He reached around the chair, pinning Mondo’s arms to his sides as he unzipped Mondo’s jacket. 

“The fuck are you doing now?” He panted, too tired to struggle.

Taka leaned down and rested his chin on his shoulder, smiling as he glanced at Mondo’s flushed face. “How many ribs does a person have?”

Mondo’s eyes widened as he nervously thought about it. “T-Twenty four?”

“You don’t sound too sure, Mondo.” Taka continued to smile as he spoke. “Are you absolutely sure?”

Mondo went over his previous biology classes in his head, thinking it over as quickly as he could. “Yeah.” He replied carefully, not liking the smile on Taka’s face one bit.

Taka hummed. “Okay… If that’s your answer.”

“W-Wait! H-How many Is it??”

“I thought you were absolutely sure?”

“I-I am! I just… want confirmation.” 

“Well, If you insist.” Without another word he dug into his ribs.

“TAKA! I mehehean’t verbal confirmaaaation! HAhahahahahaha!”

“You weren’t specific, And since you’ve had trouble taking in my verbal teachings thus far, I feel like my hands on approach Is much more effective!” He grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “Worry not, Kyoudai! I’ll count for you this time!” 

“Dohohohon’t you fucking dahahahare!”

Ignoring the empty threats and string of curses Taka began massaging circles against the sensitive bones, starting at the bottom and working his way up. “One, Two, Three…”

“Shuhuhuhut the fuhuhuhuck up!” Mondo barked out through his laughter, his face was hot with embarrassment at the teasing.

“That’s not a very nice thing to say. And you made me lose my place!” Taka frowned, pausing his ticklish attack.

“Y-You deserved It.” Mondo mumbled between small gasps for air.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset, I’m simply trying to help you better your grades!” He said innocently.

“Bull fucking shit.” The Biker retorted. “You’re just having fun tickling the hell out of me, You’re fucking merciless!”

His cruel boyfriend let out an amused laugh, Mondo could be such a drama king sometimes… “Please, Mondo. I--”

“Just you wait until I get my hands on you, Kiyotaka Ishimaru. You’re gonna scream so loud with laughter that you won’t be able to talk for days.” 

“Oh? Is that a threat?” Mercy? We don’t know her anymore. Taka has now woken up and chosen violence.

“Well, In that case, I suppose I should take it up a notch… Wouldn’t you agree, Kyoudai?” The red eyed man whispered in his hotheaded boyfriend’s ear.

Mondo Is now as good as dead, Like please sign your last will and testament by the x on the dotted line.

“W-What are yo--”

“How many nerves are In the human body?” 

“How am I supposed to know?! No one knows an exact amount!”

“Maybe not an exact number, But there is an approximate. So what Is it?” Taka asked. “How many horribly ticklish nerves do you have?”

It was at this moment he knew, He fucked up. “T-Taka wait I--”

“Hmm. Well, Perhaps I can help you figure It out.” Taka smiled mischievously as he shoved his hands under Mondo’s arms, wiggling his fingers with reckless abandon.

Mondo screeched and threw his head back in hysterics. He thrashed around with newfound energy. “SHIHIHIT! TAHAHAHAHAKA NOHOHOHOT THEHEHERE!”

“Well? Do you want to wager a guess? How many nerves does it feel like?” Taka’s sweet smile deceived his cruel actions. “I would imagine It has to be quite a few! You wouldn’t be laughing this much If there weren’t a lot of ticklish nerve endings everywhere. Especially In this spot.”

Mondo doubled over as much as he could, laughter wracking his body. He did this in an attempt to break Taka’s bearhug-like hold on him, but he held strong. “I DOHOHOHON’T KNOW!” 

“Not even a guess? Okay, I’ll give you a hint then. It’s not a million or a billion!” Taka laughed at the squeal that erupted from his boyfriend when he started tickling faster.

“FAHAHAHACK! A-A TRIHIHIHILLION!?”

“Yes! But how many trillion Mondo??”

There was no end In sight, Nor any escape. He even tried throwing himself out of the chair but the merciless assailant wouldn’t allow him to, since he had his arms locked around the back of the chair as well.

After what felt like forever, The Biker sank back into the chair, his head resting against The hall monitor’s shoulder as he laughed. His body felt like jello at this point from a mixture of laughing, struggling, and just not getting a lot of sleep the night before.

Surprisingly enough, Taka relented and withdrew his hands, though he kept his arms around the still giggling man before him. “The answer Is over seven trillion.” 

“Fuhuhuck… That was evil…” He panted.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have threatened me.” the raven haired man hummed in response. “Besides, I learned from you.”

Okay, so maybe we do know who Mercy Is, It seems like things are finally calming down between these two and-- 

“It wasn’t a threat… It was a damn promise…” Mondo growled.

Taka sighed. “You never learn, Do you?”

He unceremoniously released his hold on Mondo as he had started to struggle again, causing the biker to tip his chair over to the side and hit the floor with a yelp of surprise and an ungraceful thud.

Taka was quick to follow him to the floor, straddling his legs and grabbing both of his wrists in one hand to hold them in place. “Are you ready for your next lesson?” He asked, Energized again.

“For the last time… Get the hell off of me!” Mondo yelled, flailing as much as possible. Though that wasn’t a whole lot.

“Don’t worry, It’s the final question!” Taka responded with a mischievous smile. “Ready?”

Mondo eyed him cautiously but said nothing.

Taka leaned down near Mondo’s face, His smile widening into a grin as he spoke in a calm tone. “How many raspberries can your stomach take?”

Chills shot down his spine, that had to be the most unnerving question he’s gotten In a while. “T-Taka, Don’t you dare. I swear to God! I will kick your ass!” He tried to sound angry, but It came out panicked instead.

“Well? How many? One? Two?” Taka pondered aloud. 

“None!”

“None? I’m sure that’s not true, Kyoudai! Don’t be modest, You’re quite tough... I think you can handle at least five!” Taka beamed, giggling.

“FIVE?! Do you want to kill me!? I’ll fucking die!”

“But Mondo! We must find out, For science!” Taka declared, wasting no more time he dipped down and blew a raspberry against Mondo’s quivering belly.

The Ultimate exploded, Laughing rather uproariously as his back arched out of reflex. “NAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAHAHAHAKAA!”

“One~” He sang teasingly before blowing another raspberry.

“GAHAHAHAHAD DAHAHAHAMMIT STAHAHAHAHAP!”

“Two~” and another one. “Three~”

“IHIHIHIHIM SOHOHOHORRY FOR THREHEHEHEATENING YOUHUHU!” 

“Hmm? What was that?” Taka asked, halting his ‘scientific studies’ for a moment.

“I-I’m sohohorry… for threheheheatening you…” The giggles still poured freely past his lips as he gasped for air. “I wohohn’t… Get revehehenge on you… Just stohohop…”

“What If I don’t believe you?” Taka asked cautiously.

“I promise…” Mondo mumbled. “I won’t seek revenge on you If you let me up right now.”

Hmmmmm…

“I’ll let you up on one more condition.” Kiyotaka said, His face  turned serious for the first time since this started. “Tell me what was bothering you earlier.”

Mondo flinched. “L-Listen man… It’s kind of embarrassing…”

“Why? You know I don’t judge you, Kyoudai.” Taka frowned. “You can tell me anything.”

“N-Not this I can’t.” Mondo stuttered, Looking away. “Just trust me, It’s better you don’t-- GAHAHAHAHA! TAAAHAHAHAHAHAKAHAHA!” He shrieked with laughter as Taka blew another raspberry.

“Four. Sorry bro, But those are my demands. If you do not comply then I’ll be forced to--”

“OKAYOKAY JUST STAHAP!”

Taka smiled and moved off of the tough student, sitting next to him on the floor. “What was bothering you?” he asked after giving him a moment to collect himself.

Mondo sat up, his face burning with embarrassment as he spoke. “It’s just…” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “When I’m tired, I wanna find somewhere comfortable to rest… And…”

“And?” Taka asked, perplexed.

Mondo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “W-WELL, I KEPT ZONING OUT BECAUSEIWANTEDTOCUDDLEUPTOYOUANDSLEEP-- There! I said It!” 

Taka’s face turned pink and his eyes widened a little. He knew Mondo was telling the truth, because he yelled. Which meant he was nervous. 

“S-S-See? I told you that you didn’t want to-- ACK!”

Mondo opened his eyes just in time to get tackled back down to the floor by Taka, This time In a hug. “Why didn’t you just say so earlier!? I was worried you didn’t like spending so much time with me or something!” He mumbled into Mondo’s shoulder.

“Wha?? Why the fuck would you think that?! Of course I like spending time with you babe!”

Babe... It has a nice ring to it. “B-Because... Most people get tired of me.” 

Mondo frowned and gently pulled back from Taka’s hug to look into his eyes. “Hey, Listen. I will never get tired of you. I love spending time with you!”

“Even today?” Taka looked up at Mondo with a hopeful look on his face. 

His cheeks turned red again. “Y-Yeah… Even today… J-Just don’t get used to using that teaching method!” He tried to pick up the shattered pieces of his tough exterior, but alas, they were gone.

Taka giggled with amusement. “Deal. I’ll only use it when you really aren’t paying attention.”

Mondo flinched, Making a mental note to try to always pay attention from now on.

Taka went to pull away from him, but Mondo pulled him back against his chest. “Where do you think you’re going? This Isn’t over.” Mondo smirked.

“B-But Mondo! You promised you wouldn’t--”

“Uh-uh~ I promised no revenge if you were to let me up at that exact moment. Which you did not.” The biker reminded teasingly, positioning his fingers over Taka’s sides. “Any last words, Kyoudai?”

“W-Wait, M-Mondo-- NOHOHOHO!”

Let’s just say, Not a whole lot of studying was done for the remainder of their session. The library filled with laughter once more.

[shyneanon]

Just wanted to write a x reader about HT Sans out of curiosity, so I did. Kinda long though. But I hope you guys like it. Have an x reader of mine where Axe doesn’t do anything incredibly stupid, lol.

(I promise the longfics are gonna be updated I just wanted to write this >~<)

---

It had been a long time since you had first fallen into the Underground. Long enough that you’d lost track of time. Though that wasn’t hard to do when there was no sky to watch.

To be honest, you were lucky to not be dead. You had the feeling every other human to fall down here had died at the hands of monsters.

For some reason the two skeletons… hadn’t killed you. Which was odd, considering that when you’d first met them you’d had to navigate some deadly traps while they’d watched. When you’d made it past everything, the taller one had seemed impressed with you, and proud.

The shorter one hadn’t seemed so pleased.

Their names were Papyrus and Sans, apparently, and upon Papyrus’ insistence they’d snuck you through town and to their house, where you resided to this day. You wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that you had survived their traps, which Papyrus insisted on calling “puzzles,” despite the fact that they had obviously been designed to kill anyone who failed them. But at least Papyrus was kind to you. He was happy to talk, though he was very hesitant to answer a lot of your questions. Often he responded by telling you that he couldn’t answer your question at all. But he liked sharing his hobbies and favorite media with you, so even though he was holding you captive, he’d become like a friend.

Although you had the feeling that holding you captive was more for your benefit than theirs. When they fed you, it was always the same food. Some kind of meat.

You had the feeling you knew what kind.

But you wouldn’t ask. To spare your sanity.

Sans wasn’t hostile. But he made it a point to ignore you. Even if you needed help with something and you asked, he would simply act as if you weren’t there, as if he couldn’t see or hear you. If you annoyed him enough he would shoot you an unsettling look with his one red eye and you would back down. You quickly learned not to bother. You decided he didn’t like you, and that you were lucky he hadn’t killed you by this point. Especially considering that he hauled a giant axe everywhere. So you left him alone and spoke to Papyrus instead.

Over time, though, Sans started to change.

One day you were asked to throw out the old food, and as you were attempting to figure out which of the meat was older and therefore likely to go rotten soon, Sans intervened.

And he helped.

The whole time he barely said a word to you, and he didn’t look at you for even a second, but he helped. Though you tried not to get too optimistic. Perhaps he had simply been annoyed by how long you’d been taking.

A few days later, when you and Papyrus were playing a board game to pass the time, Sans sat next to his brother to watch. This was also new-- he usually did his best to stay as far away from you as possible at all times, dinner being the only exception.

He joined the two of you to watch several times, and then one day Papyrus asked him if he wanted to play a game for more people. And Sans said yes.

That day you saw a different side of him.

Rather than brood silently with an unsettling grin on his face, Sans started to crack jokes. Bad ones. At first you were too confused and almost bothered by the sudden change to laugh, but eventually he made a particularly fucked up joke and you laughed from the shock of it, despite Papyrus scolding him.

The next time you and Papyrus played a 1v1 game, Sans sat next to you.

Several sessions of this happened, Sans sitting and watching. You couldn’t tell if he was rooting for either of you, though he occasionally made jokes mocking you specifically. You’d noticed he never liked to say anything mean to his brother, however, so maybe that explained the lack of jabs at Papyrus.

Then one game, as you were contemplating your next move, Sans leaned in next to your ear. You leaned away, expecting him to say something threatening or cruel.

Instead, he gave you a hint.

As it turned out, Sans was really smart. He understood strategy, though he rarely employed it much when he played with you two. You had the feeling he liked letting Papyrus beat him.

He wasn’t such a bad guy, it seemed.

Then he asked to play a game of chess with you one day. You had the feeling he’d beat you, but you said yes.

You were right. He beat you quickly and easily. But he seemed to enjoy himself, particularly with some jabs at you that were accompanied by winks. So you didn’t mind.

Though you did feel something kind of odd whenever he winked at you. And it didn’t stop even when winking became a regular thing. In the following weeks he started pulling pranks on you, something he apparently enjoyed a lot. Papyrus seemed annoyed about it at first, but then confessed to you that it had been a long time since Sans had regularly cracked jokes and pulled pranks on others, and he was happy to have glimmers of the old Sans back. You’d had no idea this was what he had been like before… whatever had happened in the Underground had happened. Neither of them would talk about it. Regardless, seeing Sans smile and laugh so sincerely felt really good.

...

And then he cornered you with his axe.

Or, at least, that’s what it felt like at first. One day, weeks after he had begun to lighten up, Sans approached you when you were in the kitchen, dragging his axe behind him. Papyrus was out of the house, though you didn’t know where, or doing what. They never told you that either.

He’s going to kill me.

“Heya,” he said.

You tried not to stare at the blade. But it was hard. “Hi,” you said.

He took a few steps closer to you. There was nowhere you could go. You were against the extremely tall sink. If he decided he wanted to chop you up into little pieces, there was nothing you could do about it.

“Think we can talk?” he said.

You nodded, but once you did you weren’t sure if that was the right decision.

“Cool.”

Before you knew it he was standing over you and you were pressing yourself back against the sink. You felt so small.

This is it. He’s going to take his axe, and he’s going to cut me into little pieces. And then eat me.

“So…” he began.

Please just make it fast. Please just don’t make me suffer. Please just get it over with--

“I wanted to say thanks.”

“... Huh?” was your only reply. You realized you were shaking.

“Thanks,” he repeated. “For being nice to my brother. And… to me, even when I haven’t been so nice to you.”

Not sure what to say, you just stared.

“He’s… been through a lot. He’s really needed a friend. And I’m glad you’re being that friend to him.”

You weren’t sure if he was trying to put you at ease before murdering you, but you smiled a little. “It’s no problem. Papyrus is fun, I like spending time with him.”

“Yeah?” Sans smiled one of his more sincere smiles. “Yeah, my brother’s really cool.”

There was an awkward (and, at least for you, tense) silence as you both looked at each other.

“Sorry for scaring you.” His red eye looked away. “I know… I look scary.”

Hm?

“It’s not you,” you said. “You’ve just… been holding that huge axe… the whole time, and I didn’t… Y’know, I just thought, maybe…”

He looked at the blade as if he’d just realized it was there. “... Oh. Oh, that makes sense.”

He unceremoniously let go of it and it dropped to the ground.

“Still, I know I’m… intimidating.”

“The way you look doesn’t scare me,” you told him. “It hasn’t for a long time. Your appearance is just that, your appearance. No big deal.”

He watched you, as if he were looking for signs that you were lying.

Then he smiled, seeming almost… reassured.

“Cool,” he said.

He moved closer. His smile was different, though you couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. Though, that was often the case with him.

“Listen, I don’t hate you anymore. I haven’t for a long time. I’m sorry… for the way I treated you.”

“It’s OK,” you said. You weren’t sure why he’d treated you that way, but he was apologizing.

“Thanks.”

You realized the two of you were making eye contact, and then you noticed the pupil in the middle of his red eye. It was… getting bigger?

“I… like you a lot, actually.”

What do I say?

“I like you a lot too,” you returned. It wasn’t really a lie. He was fun. You just… weren’t ever sure what he was thinking, so you had always been slightly afraid that he wanted to kill you.

You saw his cheeks start to turn a blue color. You had never seen that before.

A… blush? Or am I insane?

Wait, when did our faces get so close?

Why is my heart beating so fast?

“Anyway,” he said, leaning away from you. When the gap between you widened you suddenly felt like you could breathe again. “I’ve got stuff to do, upstairs.” He winked. “Like nap.”

He picked up his weapon and turned away, though he looked back at you.

“See ya.”

All you did was raise a hand, and he left.

After that day, things were different.

Sans had been nicer to you for a while, but now he was really nice. He threw you compliments, and they didn’t seem sarcastic. He sat next to you on the couch regularly. He would breach your personal bubble-- albeit carefully. Sometimes he would brush hair out of your face, or put his hand on your shoulder when talking to you, or sling an arm around your shoulder. It… seemed friendly, but you weren’t sure if it was supposed to be more.

Either way, your heart would beat fast and your senses would heighten whenever the two of you made contact.

He spoke to you whenever Papyrus was out and he wasn’t. Sometimes he ended up telling you stuff that he and Papyrus had refused to address early on in your stay. He didn’t give details, but… it was sad.

A couple of times you gave him hugs to comfort him. They were returned, and the two of you would just… stay like that for a little while, holding onto each other. Even you started telling him about home. You were kind of like confidants now. It seemed that Sans didn’t tell Papyrus a lot, in an effort not to worry him. Papyrus worried already, it made sense that Sans wouldn’t want to make it any worse.

Then one day, while you were sitting together on the couch, he finally explained to you how he’d gotten the hole in his skull.

A former friend, the current queen… had stabbed him with a spear.

You held him, and he held onto you.

“Thanks,” he said, “for listening to me.”

“I’ll always listen to you,” you told him.

Like that day in the kitchen, you realized that your faces were close. This time it seemed very intentional, though. Sans was watching you carefully. Your own face got hot.

“Sans?” you said. It was almost a whisper.

He pressed his teeth to your lips and you froze up, shocked.

Almost immediately, he let out a soft moan, as if just the kiss were releasing tension. He pulled you closer. Your heart started to pound, and without thinking you threw your arms around his neck and kissed back. His arms wrapped around your waist, and you sank into him. His teeth then pressed against your neck and you shivered, sighing. It was followed by his teeth slamming into your lips, and you were swiftly pressed down onto the couch. It felt like his touch was a shockwave that moved through your whole body. You opened an eye and saw that he was flushed blue.

“I haven’t felt this good in so long,” he told you. “Everything sucks here. But you…”

More kisses. He sighed. Your eyes drifted shut again.

“... you make everything go away. You make me… feel things… I’ve never felt before.”

A hand worked its way down to your hip. He looked… high.

“... Y’know… Paps… isn’t gonna be back for a while.”

Your face got hotter than it already was. Was he insinuating what you thought he was insinuating?

“Geez,” you said with a shy smile, “we just kissed for the first time. At least… take me out to dinner first, right?”

He chuckled. “OK… yeah, maybe I’m moving a bit fast….”

Another kiss, this one more gentle. He cupped your cheek.

“I’m just… not used to feeling this good. It’s… kind of addictive.”

You fluttered your lashes playfully. “Ooh, I’m addictive?”

“Yes,” he responded. There was no irony in his voice. “Yes, you are.”

You were clutching his hoodie, and you realized that what you had thought was blood on his clothing was actually ketchup stains. You could smell it. It made you giggle.

“What?”

“I thought this was blood but it’s ketchup.”

A deep laugh. “You didn’t notice that all this time?” A wink. “Wow, you’re slow. Try to ketchup.”

You flicked his forehead playfully. “Get off the stage, nerd.”

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” you replied with a smile.

“Y’know, sex is great and all, but y’know what’s better?”

You raised a brow. “What?”

“A nap.”

You snorted.

“Don’t say it’s not true.”

“It’s true,” you told him, smiling.

“Here,” he said, pulling you up from your horizontal position and then flopping back, pulling you with him. “I make for a great cushion.”

“You do,” you observed. He was a skeleton but it actually didn’t feel weird to lie on top of him. So you got comfy.

“Nice. If Paps gets mad at me I can blame you.”

A wink, and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Aw, c’mon now. That’s just childish.”

He wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re insane for liking me, by the way.”

You grinned. “Eh, I blame Stockholm Syndrome.”

He snickered.

[brelione]

Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)

Warnings:Not proof read, swearing

Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.

Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.

You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.

You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.

 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.

Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.

That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.

But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.

JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.

The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.

Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.

The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.

 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.

Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.

 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.

You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 

“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 

“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 

“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.

He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.

“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.

 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.

 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.

You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.

You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.

You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.

You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.

You:????

Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?

You:Im not with Rafe

Kie:Seriously like are you ok

You:Im fine lol

Kie:But why are you with Rafe?

You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.

 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.

You:Can you keep a secret?

Kie:Yeah

You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?

Kie:You dumb idiot

Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?

Kie:Hoe you could do better

Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?

Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ

You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.

You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything

You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 

“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 

“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.

You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.

 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.

He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 

“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 

“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.

“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.

He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.

You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 

“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 

“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.

 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.

 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 

“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.

You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 

“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 

“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.

 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 

“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 

“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.

You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 

“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.

You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.

At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.

He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.

John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.

But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.

@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​

@sunwardsss @meaganjm​  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​ @prejudic3​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

[sonid6699]

Time travels back to the start by SONid6699

Leipzig, Germany, 2016

"Underoos"

Suddenly a figure in cladded in red and blue leaped out of nowhere and stole Captain's shield, and landed in the most superhero pose ever.

"Hey everyone!!!"

"Nice job kid."

"Thanks well I could have stuck the landing a little better it's just a new suit"

Everyone was looking at the red cladded person "Underoos" as Tony had called him with curiosity and annoyance but the look on Tony's 'I am so done with it' face made him backtrack his statement.

"What it's nothing just a new suit. What. It's nothing Mr. Stark it's perfect thank you"

"Yeah don't really need to start a conversation"

"Cap-Captain big-"

Suddenly his spider sense tingled. Well tingled is a small word, it felt like his senses went overdrive. As if they were screaming at him for an upcoming threat.

Stopping his ramble mid way he observed the airport. The need to find what triggered his senses at such a level was vital. He found nothing.

"Underoos. What are you doing there's nothing over there. Roger is here in the front." Now Tony was getting annoyed and for the tenth time he questioned himself that whether he did the right thing or not by bringing a kid to this fight.

"Something is happening!!!"

"What do you mean something is happening ki-"

"Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good…. "

The tremble and fear in his voice settled a suffocating silence over the airport. All the avengers and non-avengers were trying to identify the actions behind those words but no avail.

Tony definitely did not like where this was going. Somehow he had a bad feeling about it in his gut. "Kid are you alright?" he asked in surprisingly calm voice.

"I don't know… I don't know whats happening…."

Terror invaded in everyone's heart as suddenly the kid fell on his knees the shield long forgotten fell on the ground with a clank. The scream that came next was terrifying.

"aaaahhhh… Aaaaahhhhh……… ItIt….. It… Hu…..hurts!!!!"

By this time even Sam, Barnes, Wanda and Clint had came out of wherever they were hidden to watch the commotion.

"Roos you have to tell us what's going on."

Whatever Mr. Stark was saying fell deaf to Peter's ears. He was terrified. He thought he knew what pain was but this was offwordly. He can't help the scream that escaped his lips. "aaagghh… He..help...it hu.. Hur-"

Silence. Pin drop silence covered the airport for the second time this day. Everyone's face displayed all the emotions. Sympathy, horror, astonishment, pained, terrified…….. No one knew what to say as the kid's body disintegrated into dust. Tha dust that had now flew away with the wind.

Natasha broke the silence "What the fuck!!!!"

Steve collected his composure "Tony I know we aren't on good terms but…But for the sake of God please tell us it was one of the kids trick or your plan to stop us. That the kid disintegrating into fucking dust was all planned."

Tony didn't know what to say. He can't even believe what had happened." Cap do I look like i know what's going on." He was angry know. He knew that he was desperate to stop them and take them into custody but he wasn't that inhuman that he would willing allow a kid to suffer from… Whatever just happened. "And I… don't know ok!!!! As far as I am aware this ain't in his skill set!!!!!"

"Tony I.. Didn't mean it like that. Listen-"

"Can you both fight later and discuss what the hell happened!!" Rhodey cut both of them.

Sam knew he will be seeing weird things once he joined cap but this was on another level. "Guy's listen-"

He abruptly stopped as suddenly the ash that once had fallen started integrating again taking the form of a human body. The kid's body he realized. The formation was as scary as the disintegration.

Looks like he wasn't the only one paying attention as everyone held thier weapons against…… Whatever the hell they are going to face.

¤¤¤¤¤¤

He falls on the ground, pain tearing through every cell, every atom of his body. He can still feel the pain of being torn from its neighbour and sent drifting out into space. He could still feel the pain of his atom binding together, again, and it hurt but the pain was receding. That was good he thought. He was still coughing, body still shaking, weakened due to his unplannes excursion. He was vaguely aware of being held at gun point.

"Ow" he rasped. "I am not a threat. Please…… Not a terrorist. Lower the weapons….. Please……The trial is complete I am innocent. Mysterio and Beck…… Everything was a fucking lie…. ''

Silence laid heavily on surroundings. Not even a whisper disturbing the air.

Odd. Nothing had been this overwhelmingly quiet since he’d been bit by the spider; he could always hear, see, or at least smell something. It was a bit disconcerting, though not entirely unwelcome. Sometimes he really missed having normal senses. The last time this happened was his fucking trial. Being on trial with a shock that disabled his powers was something he didnot want happening. again.

Cutting himself off from that train of thought, Peter realized he should probably try and figure out what the hell was going on and why he was he was experiencing the pain of atoms binding together again rather than be at Ned's funeral. Which he can finally go now since his name was cleared. Realizing his mind was getting off track again, Peter squinted open his eyes.

Get back on track, Parker. He reprimanded himself.

What he was met with when he eventually cracked open his eyes, however, was a dim, shimmering wall of scarlet red (which was not on the list of what he was expecting to see but it wasn’t a bad thing, either). He carefully peeled his eyes fully open, ready to slam them shut again in case the authorities didn't get the memo that he was not a terrorist.

Everything slowly came into focus, and he rapidly sat up, turning in a full circle. "What-" he breathed out. The red dissipated into whisps, and he was face to face with people who had been either dead or who had abandoned him since the funeral.

The Scarlet Witch stared him in the face, eyes returning to a normal murky brown rather than a vibrant red. Peter realized that she had trapped him in what could be described as a... bubble? with her powers so he wasn't disturbed as he regained his senses.

And as Peter spun around yet again, breathing picking up in panicked breaths, he recognized his surroundings.

Around him were the Avengers, every one of them.

He was back at the airport battle in Leipzig.

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Peter's eyes locked on Mr. Stark's, chest heaving, and he immediately thought back to the last time he'd seen the man. Alive.

We won. You did it sir. We won Tony.

Mr. Stark looked confused, eyes raking over Peter's form, clad in a red and black suit with a metallic silver spider sprawled in the middle of his chest.

"Peter?" the man asked, taking a step towards the boy, and that was all he needed to bolt away from everyone. Well in the centre as everyone seemed to be circling him. The reason unknown.

It took him a couple of minutes to arrive at the conclusion that Beck was alive. It was all his game. His fucking plan to fuck with him even more when everything was finally going to be as normal as possible. But no!!! His Peter Tingle™ had to betray him again.

Fury and rage filled him as he spoke. "What the fuck Beck. How can you be so cruel. Wasn't london enough. Want to fuck with me and my mind even more. With what the battle of airport. THIS TIME YOU CAN'T FOOL. I WON'T LET YOU. I DEFEATED YOU ONCE BEFORE. AND I WILL IN EVERY HELL DO IT AGAIN. THIS TIME I WON'T FALL IN YOUR ILLUSIONS YOU ASSHOLE"

By the time he was finished he was breathing heavily. His mind wandered to that one question again and again. How did Beck and his crew got the airport's battle. There was no footage in public media and after London he himself strengthened Stark Industries server.

"Underoos, what-" Mr. Stark said, cutting himself off as he took in the sight of Peter again.

Black and red metallic suit. Eyes filled with rage and fury. But their was hollowness in them like the kid had gone through hell. And London? Beck? Mysterio? Illusions?

"Kid I-"

"Stop!!!!!"

Peter said. No roared. Tony definitely never thought he could piss someone this much in such a short time.

"This is ridiculous" Peter yells ignoring all the looks he was getting. Ignoring the was his heart shattered upon seeing Beck using Mr. Stark's face, again to lure him into his trap.

"Peter it's me Ton-"

"Tony Stark is dead. Has been dead for a fucking whole year. Today is his death anniversary." Peter yells the illusion freezes. "I mourned him. For a whole fucking year. I went to his mother fucking funeral. I met his daughter. Do you really think I am that gullible!"

All the illusions looks confused froze In their spot. Mr. Stark no the illusion rasped "What!"

Peter turns his eyes stinging with tears, pain, exhaustion, rage. He just wanted this to end for good and for forever.

"You want a battle let's have one. And this time do not forget that you can't fool me into thinking you are dead. This time I myself will depart you to Raft."

With that he launched in attack webbing fake-Tony's hands and body to floor along with fake-cap. Disabling fake-Sam's wing and weaving him and Barnes together in a cacoon. He was fast like a shadow.

Suddenly he dodged the cars that fake-Wanda was throwing his way. Immediately webbing her hands up with the strongest webbing he had to disable her hand. This way she won't be able to to conjure magic. All the while dodging repulsor blasts from Fake-Colonel.

Again he dodged the punch fake-T'challa was gonna give and weaved him, fake-Clint and fake-Colonel similar to fake-Sam and fake-Barnes.

What he wasn't prepared was the blast from infinity stone and the sparring from Fake-Natasha.

After dodging and attacking what felt lIke eternity he was defeated. Fake-Natasha had won. But how? He didn't knew Beck's crew had such a skilled fighter. How the Blasts from fake-infinity stone seemed real. His body was aching. He wanted to rest. And he will after he capture Beck.

He tried getting out of her and Fake-Vision's hold but "You can't get out my Peter. Not until you tell us what the you did… You are doing. I thought you were on Stark's side against Cap? And who is Beck? What illusions are you talking about?" Fake-Natasha threatened very…… calmly.

"You of all people know Beck what you are doing" Peter choked. But his mind was just getting confused. The last Beck himself accepted that it was all an illusion. Had he changed tactics?

"Kid! Roos what are talking about? This is real everything is real. Their are no illusions kid." fake-Tony said.

By this time Peter had long given up on fighting instead he was waiting for the families Peter Tingle to tingle. To sense where drones could be. But his senses….. Were calmed. As if he wasn't in middle of illusions and drones. It was wrong. This was feeling real. Too much real.

"Pete-"

"Tell me a thing only my Mr. Stark would know. Something only between the two of us." He cut off fake-tony.

Tony was shocked seeing the kid's composure. The happy, bubby, nervous, like a lost puppy was gone. Instead in front of him was a kis who had suffered too much for his age. He thought of a thing only the kid and he would know."In your room you said 'If bad things happen. And you don't stop even if you have the ability then they happen because of you."

Peter's body went limp. No….. This can't happen. I know time travel is real but…… This can't happen……. Wait….. If I am back this means Mr. Stark isn't dead. He is alive and healthy.

"Mr. Stark????" He whispered. He was scared. What he isn't the real Mr. Stark. What if all this is just a dream just his imagination.

Even Natasha loosened her hold hearing the kid's scared and confused voice.

Peter immediately got out of Natasha's hold. And ran to where Mr. Stark was webbed up. He tore through the web using his super strength and hugged his Mr. Stark with all his force.

OK this wasn't what Tony expected. This kid was hugging him. Just a moment earlier he was fighting all of them and had almost defeated them and now he was hugging with such a force that he thought he might break his ribs.

"Kid-ouch easy" the hold loosened.

"You-you are alive"

Updated periodically on ao3. 4 chapters updated as of 13.5.21

[manage-mischief]

The Negative

Part 2: Useful Words

Read on AO3 here. 

Summary: Two-shot inspired by the song from “Waitress.” In which Tonks knows something’s wrong—she just doesn’t want to admit it to herself. Good thing Molly and Fleur are there to offer some support (Chapter 2 is AU: Everyone lives)

Tonks hadn’t moved from the Burrow’s long kitchen table. She remained seated, hoping that the two black lines on the stick in front of her would magically become one. It was no use. The two persistent little symbols remained as clear as ever.

Molly and Fleur had been wrong. Knowing was so, so much worse. She’d rather have lived in denial, blissfully ignorant. “Merlin, I need a drink.” She stood up, her knees bumping into the kitchen table. The sudden movement seemed to snap the other women out of their shock.

Molly got up quickly and hurried over to her. “Dear,” she said gently, placing her hands upon Tonks’s tense shoulders, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea right now.”

Tonks blinked. “Oh. Erm. Right.”

Goddammit. As if this day could get any worse. Panic rose from her core, threatening to bubble over…Oh wait…that wasn’t just panic…

She barely made it to the kitchen sink before the spilling the contents of her stomach.

“Oh, poppet,” Molly cooed and rubbed her back as Tonks continued to vomit, her hands gripping the counter like a vice. “Here, let’s get you some nice warm peppermint tea. It always helped me when I was pregnant.”

It hit her like a ton of bricks. Pregnant. She was pregnant. There was a human being growing inside of her. Eating all that she ate. Feeling all that she felt. She remembered hearing other women talk about the sensation as magical, beautiful, awe-inspiring. But right now, all she could think about was that Muggle movie Alien—when that creature burst out of that guy’s chest. The thought did nothing to mitigate her queasiness.

Closing her eyes and steadying her breath, she slowly composed herself. There was no going back. Only forward. And there was obviously one path forward that she knew she was going to have to take.

“I need to talk to Remus. Warn him that our lives are over…”

This time, it was Fleur who offered words of comfort. “Do not think that way. You love Remus, correct?”

“More than anything.”

“And ‘e loves you. It is clear to anyone who knows you both,” her voice was soft and gentle.

“I know,” Tonks sighed. “Being with him, it really has been incredible. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love Remus. I sometimes think I’ve imagined everything. That I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream and Remus will still be refusing to be with me and I’ll still be alone. I guess that’s why I’m terrified. I don’t want anything to change. Especially now. Especially with what’s going on.”

“But you know, you will not be alone. Whatever ‘appens, we shall be there for you. Right, Molly?”

Molly took Tonks’s hand in both of hers. “You know, Arthur and I got married during the first war. We were both young and in love and, like you and Remus, decided to allow ourselves to be happy, despite not knowing what the future held. We didn’t exactly expect to have children right away, and when we found out Bill was coming, we were both scared out of our bloody minds!”

Tonks had forgotten about that. “How did you cope?”

“Well, after the news had sunk in, we decided that we weren’t going to let fear stop us from living our dreams. People makes plans all the time. But life rarely allows us to follow them. Often, the universe comes up with funny ways of bringing us to where we want to be. It’s not the path that matters, it’s the destination.” Molly inhaled deeply before continuing.

“You know, I lost my two brothers in the first war. Gideon and Fabian. They were my best friends, my protectors. I always believed that they were invincible. When I found out they had died…I thought my life was over. I was pregnant with Ron, caring for my other boys, and trying to scrape by paycheck to paycheck with Arthur. I couldn’t bear the thought of raising my children in a world that was so cruel that it had taken away the kindest, most wonderful people I knew. But, out of my grief, I realized: happiness is the best revenge. If we can allow ourselves to experience joy, despite all of the suffering—if we allow ourselves to keep living—we show our oppressors that they have no power. That they can’t snuff out our light.” There were tears in the older woman’s eyes, yet she was smiling.

Tonks was speechless. She had never heard Mrs. Weasley speak so freely about the war, or about her brothers. She was always under the impression that Molly was a “carer,” not a fighter. But now, she realized that caring—that love—was Molly’s own way of fighting back. To Tonks, that was a beautiful thought.

…..

“Oi, Teddy, get down here! They’ll be arriving any minute!” Tonks yelled up to her son. A few moments later, she heard a loud crash followed by a pair of feet stomping down the stairs. Laughing to herself, she turned just in time to see her eleven-year-old son slide into view, knocking over a vase in the process.

“Sorry, Mum!” He glanced around the kitchen. “Did you do the cooking?” he asked, apprehensively.

“Merlin’s balls, of course not! You think I want to kill our guests?”

“Dora, language!” Remus’s voice chided as he walked in from the garden. Teddy gave a small “oooooh,” delighted to see his Mum get scolded by his father.

Tonks smiled lovingly at her husband. “Sorry, dear. Good thing I have you here or else Teddy’d be a heathen!”

“Mum! I would not!” Her son indignantly replied. Remus chuckled.

“Don’t be offended, son. It runs in the family.” Remus dodged Tonks’s playful attempt to smack him with the dish towel.

“In any case, no, your mother didn’t do the cooking, I did. We don’t need to worry about our guests being poisoned tonight.”

“Hey, I take offense to that! I make a mean tomato soup!”

“Yes, very mean. I do believe the last batch tried to bite off my nose when I leaned over the pot.” Remus wrapped his arms around her from behind and planted a kiss on her nose for effect. Tonks attempted to pout, betrayed by her grin. She planted a kiss on Remus’s lips.

“Ew, Mum, Dad!” Teddy groaned. “Get a room!”

“Be careful what you wish for, Ted,” Tonks teased. “That’s how we ended up with you!”

Her son’s face and hair both flushed a deep crimson.

Remus saved him from more of his mother’s teasing. “Alright, alright. Enough of that. Teddy, go wash your hands before dinner. They should be arriving at any moment.”

As if on cue, the Lupin fireplace lit up with green flames. Seconds later, four figures came tumbling out.

“Uncle Harry!” Teddy cried and launched himself at the young man.

“Teddy! Good to see you, mate!” Harry grinned at his godson and slipped him a chocolate frog. “Remus, Tonks,” he regarded the couple, brushing the soot off of his robes.

“I’m so glad you all could come,” Remus embraced his best friend’s son. Ginny hugged Tonks tightly with one arm, the other holding her one-year old baby girl.

“Aw, look at Lil’, she’s getting so big!” Tonks praised. “She’s gonna be a Quidditch star, just like her Mum and Auntie!” Ginny beamed.

As the Potter boys gained their bearings, all hell broke loose. Five-year-old James and three-year-old Albus squealed in delight at the sight of their older cousin. Tonks laughed as Teddy turned his nose into a pig snout for their amusement. Teddy’s metamorphmagus abilities made him a hit with the younger kids. She knew Teddy loved every second of their adoration.

“Boys,” Ginny said. “Go wash your hands before dinner!”

“Ok, Mum,” the Potters obeyed. Teddy followed them to the bathroom, leaving the four adults (and baby) alone.

“I can’t believe Teddy’s starts at Hogwarts tomorrow!” Ginny cried. “It seems like yesterday he was just a blue-haired little baby!”

“Excuse me, he still is a baby, thank you very much” Tonks said, matter-of-factly. Remus smiled as he put an arm around her.

“I can’t believe it. Time goes by so fast. I remember when you first told me you were pregnant,” Remus shook his head in disbelief.

“Oh yeah, and you ran for the hills?” Tonks slapped him playfully.

Harry and Ginny laughed. “Never going to let him live that one down, huh?” Ginny asked.

“Would you?” Tonks replied.

“Good point.”

Just then, the fireplace crackled to life once again, and four more figures emerged.

“Tonks! I am so ‘appy to see you!” Fleur embraced the metamorphmagus and planted kisses on both of her cheeks. Bill waved sheepishly next to her, holding the hand of their nine-year-old daughter, Victoire. Tonks squeezed Fleur’s hand in greeting, but was soon engulfed by another hug.

“Oh, Tonks, dear, I’m so happy you’ve invited us! It’s been far too long. Arthur and Ron have been so busy at the shop, they’re sorry they couldn’t make it!” Molly Weasley gushed. “I brought us a treacle tart for dessert!”

“Gran!” James and Albus had returned with Teddy from the bathroom, and all three of them excitedly greeted Mrs. Weasley. Molly insisted on acting as pseudo-grandmother to Teddy, since she treated him as part of the family. She patted the boys’ cheeks affectionately. “There are my handsome lads!”

After Molly had finished doting on him, Teddy turn to Victoire. “Hi Teddy,” the little girl blushed. “I like your blue hair!”

Her son smiled proudly. “Thanks! Wanna see what else I can do?” Teddy scrunched up his face and caused his hair to flicker nauseatingly in multicolored patterns. Victoire laughed.

Tonks eyed her husband. “What a charmer,” she whispered.

“Indeed,” Remus replied. “He gets it from his mother.” He planted another quick kiss on Tonks’s lips, then turned to the crowd in the Lupin living room. “Now that everyone’s here, we can move this party to the dining room! I’m starved!”

The family crowded around the small dining room table, eating and chattering away about their lives.

“Is your mother joining us, Tonks?” Fleur asked.

“No, she couldn’t make it tonight. She’s been traveling for work. But, she’s coming over tomorrow to help see Teddy off.”

“Oh, that’s lovely,” Molly replied.

At the other end of the table, the kids were having an extremely animated discussion about Hogwarts.

“I can’t believe you get to go tomorrow! You’re so lucky!” James remarked in awe.

“What House do you wanna be in?” Albus asked excitedly.

Teddy puffed out his chest. “Hufflepuff. Loyal, Brave, and True. Like Mum!”

“That’s my boy!” Tonks beamed with pride, then stuck her tongue out at Remus. “Take that!”

“I know better than to argue with you,” he conceded.

“Do you have a wand?” Victoire asked.

“Yep! It’s right upstairs with the rest of my things!”

“Oh, can we see, can we see?” James pleaded. Teddy glanced hopefully at the adults.

“Have you all finished eating?” ask Ginny.

The four heads nodded.

“Alright then. Take you plates to the kitchen and then you can go see Teddy’s new school things.”

In a flash, the four children raced from the table and thundered upstairs—Teddy in the lead, followed by James and Victoire, with little Albus toddling along as fast as he could behind them.

The adults moved back into the living room to enjoy their after-dinner tea. Tonks leaned comfortably against her husband’s chest, their fingers intertwined.

Molly and Fleur looked at each other, and then at the couple, smiling knowingly.

“Teddy’s a wonderful boy, you two. He’s going to make a fine wizard,” Molly said, tears in her eyes.

“He really is, isn’t he?” Tonks remarked. Remus nodded.

“We did alright, I’d say. I just hope he enjoys school as much as we all did.” Remus mused.

“Well,” Fleur said, “Let’s send some good vibes with ‘im! We shall keep our focus on the positive.”

“Yes,” Tonks grinned, looking around the room at all of the people she loved so deeply. “We shall.”

[totaldramafan-lauri]

The Far Side

It’s. Finally. Done.

Dear god.....OK, so....this was supposed to be like Dancing With A Stranger - short side thing as a break from the other one I was working on.....but it just.....got WAY outta control. XD

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t, like.....a LOT longer than Focused On Her or anything. The reason it took soooooo much longer to write is that a lot of crap kept happening IRL that stressed me out to the point where I couldn’t write, or could only work on it in very short doses some days. I skipped a lot of days, unlike with FOH which I was working on daily. They’re actually about the same length, I’d say...but FOH had more stuff in it, definitely.

I think the reason this got outta hand was that, unlike Dancing With A Stranger, where I only went up to the first chorus, I actually went through the whole song here, thinking “It’ll be fine, I’ll just make the segments moderately short!”

......Sometimes I forget just how flipping detail-oriented I am. >__>

The song this fic is based on is “The Far Side” by Aviators, BTW. I heard it one day after being reminded of a certain AU from Discord....an AU based on a concept that I really really like. The song reminded me of it, and......I-I couldn’t resist. >/////>

Despite the fact that I was stressed a lot of the time while writing, I really did try to make this the best that I could. I don’t think this is my best work, but I did enjoy making the dialogue, as usual.....I-I really hope it’s good enough! >///////<

I will warn you, however, that this doesn’t have as much of a story as my other fics. It mainly consists of two characters talking. If that isn’t your thing, you might not wanna read.

WARNING: Implied yandere and very light N/S/F/W!

--- Where'd you get the notion you're only human? You know there's a dark place that will make you something more... ---

How'd you get into this situation?

Oh yeah, you were pressured into it. "It'll be fun", they said. "No one's been in here for decades, maybe we'll find something," they said.

Why couldn't you show some backbone? If you did, maybe you wouldn't be here right now. All you could feel were two things: regret, and fear. You were alone, wrapped in darkness, with no noise to distract you from your thoughts...and the only light being from the candle you were holding.

You couldn't believe you had gotten separated from them. How could you let that happen? You were so stupid...Your group had been small, just you and four other people, each with a candle. You had heard the rumors of the place you were in being haunted...of people hearing voices whenever they'd dare to enter. The last person who tried to search there went in alone, and never came out. No one had gone in there since....not until your thrill-seeking friend and their friends caught word of it. Not that any of them actually believed in...ghosts...but a spooky location that drove its last residents to possible insanity? They should've backed out. And they should've known better than to bring you with them.

But here you were, terrified out of your mind in this dark, unfamiliar place. You didn't know how you had gotten separated...one moment, you were trailing behind them as they wandered down one of the old hallways, and you thought you had followed them into a room, but...maybe it was a different room? You could've sworn you had seen them go into this one, but your eyes didn't deceive you. There was only one light in here: yours.

You frantically called out your friend's name, getting no answer. You called out the names of the others, desperate for some response, but there was still only silence. You felt a lump start to form in your throat, tears coming to your eyes. You were starting to panic.

And then, suddenly, you felt something softly touch your shoulder...and you thought you heard laughter.

--- I could sell a one-way to absolution To the wholly abstract where we'll never drift back ashore ---

You gasped and flinched, your free hand immediately going to the place you had felt the touch, but finding nothing. Oh no...you were getting delirious, weren't you? Or was this some sort of cruel joke?

You yelled out your friend's name again. "Th-this isn't funny!" you shouted, your voice shaking, "S-stop it!"

It was then that you heard the laughter again...a soft giggle, echoing through the room. You began shaking more. "C-come out..." you said, your voice getting weaker, "...P-please..."

"Poor lost little doll...Don't worry, you're not alone~"

You felt your heart skip a beat when you heard an unfamiliar voice. Was there someone else in the room? There had to be...but where were they? You frantically moved the hand that was holding the candle all around you, looking everywhere you could see. "Wh-who's there!?" you shouted, "Wh-where-!?"

"Awww, sorry, but you're not gonna see anything...not with that candle you're holdin'~"

You stepped back in panic when you heard the voice again, and double-checked around the room. You saw no one. No one...there was no one here. This couldn't be real...you had to be hearing things. You were going crazy, and had to get out of there as soon as possible.

You shook your head, trying to regain the little composure you had left before. "No...no..." you muttered under your breath.

That's when you heard the door close behind you, softly, as if it had been pushed by a gust of wind. You jolted and turned towards it, seeing that it was indeed shut. You let out a startled yelp and practically started hyperventilating. How did that happen? There was no one else around who could've done that! In panic, you shouted your friend's name again, hoping that they were outside the door...but the only answer you got was more giggling.

"What's wrong, doll? Why do ya look so scared~? I just want’cha to stay a while...~"

It wasn't real. There was no way this was happening. There was no way...they were right...

"Ghosts don't like light!" one of the people in your group had said, "We should all bring a candle."

You hadn't believed them. There was no way that the place was really, honestly haunted, right? It was just a rumor. Just a way to get a rise out of people. But still, the idea of possible danger had caused your friend to shake with excitement, so you went along with them. It wouldn't be so bad, you thought. It was just an old, abandoned house...nothing else...

Nothing else...

You darted for the door, reaching for the knob with your free hand, and opened it, looking back into the hallway. You cried out for your group.

"It's better that you're not with them anymore..."

"S-stop!" you shouted in panic, hitting your head against the door.

"No one can bother you anymore~" the voice practically purred, right in your ear. You felt a light touch on your shoulder again, "Everything will be OK~..."

"STOP!" you shrieked, hitting your head again before bolting down the hallway as fast as you could. You didn't remember which way you had come, and your limited vision didn't help that at all. But you just wanted to get as far away from that room as possible. You could try and backtrack once you could think straight again.

You turned a corner, trying your best not to drop your candle out of your shaking hand. Why did this place have to be so dang big? Why did people build such big houses? If it was smaller, maybe someone could've heard you scream...and someone could come help you, and comfort you, tell you it's just in your head...

You ran past a few doors, not bothering to stop to check them. Then you reached a flight of stairs. It hit you that maybe your group had gone up there, and that's why they didn't hear you. So, you trudged up the stairs, panting heavily from running.

As much as you hated it, it wasn't long until you had to stop to catch your breath. You leaned against a wall for balance. You were far enough away from that room now, right? You tried to straighten out your thoughts, but it was hard when you were still recovering from such a rush of adrenaline...You had to calm down.

"Why are you still tryin' to look for them? They're not gonna help you!"

There was the voice again, echoing through the hallway you were now in. Your eyes widened and you instinctively tried to start running again, but you had no energy left, so it was more like a fast walk. You really needed to get in better shape.

"Or is it me? Are you tryin' to get away from me, hmmm?"

"G-go...away..." you protested weakly, speaking more to yourself.

"But I just wanna talk, that's all~"

"S-stop..." you panted. You stopped walking and started pulling at your hair, whining pitifully. "I-it's not real...y-you're not real...s-stop!"

Whenever you acted like this...like a scared child...you would occasionally get pity from others, but usually, you'd get told to grow up and act tougher. But that never worked. Every time you tried to toughen up, you'd always fail miserably...Maybe that's why you had agreed to come here - to prove you weren't afraid. But now, you once again failed, and reverted back to your natural state. Timid, and a nervous wreck. A victim to the voices in your head.

You just wanted it to stop...

Silence filled the hallway for a moment, as you stood there stiffly with your eyes squeezed shut...and then, you felt something trail up your back. It was a gentle touch, soft as the wind. You flinched as it reached your shoulder, slowly trailing over it.

"How real did that feel, doll~?"

This...was not in your head.

--- I've been living on the far side I've been leaving footprints in your mind ---

"I did tell you ya weren't alone! You should'a believed me~"

The voice echoed, every word coming out smooth as butter. It was a feminine voice, sickeningly sweet yet playful, laced with a slight accent.

Your body had become frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights. It was as if your mind had stopped working. You couldn't deny it. You couldn't come up with any explanation. That touch was real...you couldn't have made that up.

"I really am here...ya can't see me, not right now...but I promise, I am~..."

You opened your mouth, and all that came out was a tiny squeak. You couldn't bring yourself to do anything else. You didn't wanna open your eyes and see no one there. You didn't wanna believe this was happening. There was a creeping sense of dread building in your gut as you gathered the facts as best you could. You were in the presence of someone you couldn't see. And whoever this was...had the ability to touch you.

You felt like you were truly in danger.

You almost wished that it was all in your head at that point. Your fear allowed you to move again, shaking your head and taking a few steps back.

"Skittish little kitten, arent'cha? C'mon, don't be like that~"

There was another soft touch, felt all around you...like a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind. You gasped, your body stiffening once again. You wanted to run away, but you knew you couldn't. Whatever this force was would keep following you. And this feeling of being held in place...you knew you could easily break free, but for some reason, you couldn't. Was it fear? Did you not want to agitate...whatever or whoever this was?

The voice spoke again, right in your ear. "Shhhh...just relax...Everything will be OK, as long as you're with me..."

A shiver raced up your spine at the sound. A tone of voice that would normally be considered...soothing...Was this being trying to calm you down, or was it a trick? If there was anything you wanted more than anything, it was to be assured you were OK...but you felt like you shouldn't let your guard down...Still, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try talking to it...

You gulped before attempting to speak again. "Y-you...A-are you a...a...?"

"A ghost? Is that what you're tryin' to say?" There was a giggle. "Well, what else can I be~?"

So it was true...Everything you heard was true. There really were ghosts in this place...and you were in the arms of one. What could you even do next? You gulped again, feeling how dry your mouth was from all the yelling. If you ran, you'd just be followed. If you left, you'd feel guilty that you'd be leaving your friend and the others inside. But maybe they'd already left without you? Where were they? You knew you had to find them...but how?

"But I don't wanna scare you...I never did," the voice echoed into your ear again, "Maybe a rattle ya a little, but not too much...All I wanted was to talk to you...And hold ya, mmmm, just like this..." You felt something rest on your shoulder. "From when I first saw you, I knew that's what I wanted...I'd never seen someone look so lonely in a group before...I could tell, those other guys didn't care about ya at all. They would've easily left ya in the dust if they wanted...And someone like you, so small, so cute, deserves much better...So I just had to take you away~"

You took in every word you heard with disbelief...It wasn't the kind of thing you expected to hear from a ghost. It - she - thought you were...lonely? And wanted to help you?

You weren't lonely, though, were you? You had friends. No matter how different they are, they still talked to you. They wouldn't have brought you here if they didn't like you, right?

"Y-you're wrong...about them..." you said, voice shaking, "Th-they're my friends, and they wouldn't...l-leave me. Y-you don't know them..."

"I know their TYPE, though," she replied, "Always excited about the next big thrill...Not ever wantin' to stop and take a breather...Puttin' their dreams above anyone who cares about 'em. The second you start fallin' behind, they don't look back to see if you're still there...They'd happily leave ya behind, waitin' for them to come back for you..."

"Th-they wouldn't-!"

"Shhh...I saw. They never looked back to check on you...They didn't even care about how spooked ya looked...It was so sad! Trust me, doll...ya might not think you can do better, but you can..."

There was a trace of irritation in her voice as she talked about your group. You were about to disagree again, but then you thought about it...You didn't wanna come here, but they had made you. And you couldn't say no to your friend. It had always been like that...you were always going along with whatever you were told, because you were scared of saying no. But what did they do in return?

You were constantly stressed out, and they didn't try to understand you. They never slowed down for you. But...you never minded. You didn't wanna feel like a burden.

She was wrong...you really couldn't do better...And you didn't want to! They liked you! It was fine! You were fine!

"Are your feet tired, after our game~?" she asked you, interrupting your thoughts, "You're in luck~" You felt her let go of you. You shivered, realizing how odd it felt. "Two doors down on the left, doll...That's my room~...Go there if you wanna take a break, OK?"

She was right...your feet were aching. You really wanted to sit down. You were not used to running that much, and your body was crying out in exhaustion. It was really starting to dawn on you that maybe this ghost really didn't want to hurt you...maybe she was telling the truth. But it could also be a trap...

"I...should really keep looking..." you protested weakly.

You felt something brush against your back, softly, trying to push you forward.

"Awwww, but it doesn't have to be too long...C'mon~"

"B-but..." your voice trailed off, and you hesitated. You thought of a possibility - If you stayed in one room, maybe they would eventually find you. If they really were still here, and didn't leave without you...they must've noticed you were missing by now. And if they did find you...then you would be proving her wrong. She'd get proof that they cared...and so would you.

You finally took a step forward, holding your candle in front of you to illuminate the hallway the best you could. Then you walked to the room she had recommended.

"Very good!" she said excitedly, as she was surely following you, "No more running...I don't want ya to waste your breath, kitten, when I could take it away myself~"

It was strange. You couldn't help but still feel on edge. You were lost, couldn't escape, and were resorting to following a ghost's orders while in her domain. This could easily go bad for you. And you knew that.

Yet, you felt heat rush to your cheeks...

--- Tell me all your secrets I could be your key to the afterlife ---

You opened the door and looked around the room she had called hers. It was a large bedroom, one that no doubt would've looked very nice without the signs of age everywhere. There were old stuffed animals scattered all over the floor and on the bed, and the walls were a pastel pink. It wasn't the kind of taste you imagined she'd have, but you didn't dwell on that too long. You were just happy that it looked safe.

While you were looking around, the door closed behind you, letting you know that she had followed. "I know it's a bit...childish," she said, "The girl who lived here before me was quite...innocent...and loving..." her voice got lower as she said those words, before quickly switching back to her normal tone. "But I don't mind too much~"

You looked around more, a bit scared to touch anything. She was right, there was a bit of a childish feel to the room, which made you feel uneasy. "Can I...sit down...?" you asked nervously.

"O'course ya can. That's why you're here, isn't it~?" she answered with a giggle. "Oh golly, it's been so long since I've brought someone in here..."

You slowly walked over to the bed and pressed your hand to it, testing its softness, and then you finally sat down, stretching your legs in front of you. It felt so good to be off your feet, after what felt like hours. You reached over and sat your candle down on the nightstand close by, keeping it close to you still, and breathed a sigh of relief. This was no doubt the most content you'd been up to this point in the old house. You still hoped you could leave soon, as you were still uneasy being in the presence of a ghost in an unfamiliar place...but you decided that this was better than wandering around.

Your thoughts once again wandered to your group, wondering where they could be, or if they'd already went by here before you got there...how unlucky that would be...

Your thoughts were interrupted by a cold touch trailing up your arm, causing you to inhale sharply. Her touches were so light, yet they always made you react like that, and you didn't like it. You didn't wanna keep being the "skittish kitten" she saw you as...but you knew you couldn't help it. That was just how you were.

"P-please stop...doing that..." you said shakily, looking down at your hands, folded on your lap.

Her chuckle echoed through the room, sounding very close, and you let out a small peep when you felt something on your cheek. Your hands went to cover your face. What was she even doing? Didn't she say she didn't wanna scare you? Was she...trying to do something else? No, there was no way...

"N-no!" you squeaked as you gave yourself a few slaps on the cheek. "Stop!"

More laughter filled the room, louder this time. She was clearly enjoying making you react. "Y’know I can't hurt ya, right?" she said, "Not that I'd ever want to~..."

Her touch moved to the top of your head, slowly stroking it, as if praising a pet. You squeezed your eyes shut at that sensation, freezing up for a moment. "A-ah..." you attempted to keep speaking, "But still...y-you can't..." your voice trailed off. Her gentle petting didn't cease, and for a moment, you felt your walls start to come down. You didn't wanna admit it, but despite how light it was, it felt...good. However, you were able to quickly snap yourself out of it and place a hand on your head, hoping it would make her stop.

Luckily for you, she seemed to let go from that. "Don't worry your pretty lil' head, doll~" she said, her voice a croon, "You're safe here~..."

You tried your best to hide the shiver that raced through you. "I'm not sure...if I should believe you..." you mumbled.

She claimed that she wouldn't, and couldn't, hurt you. But you were still wary. You couldn't see her. Yet she could see and feel you. You couldn't help but think that was unfair.

"I understand that it's not easy to trust me...but I'll treat ya well anyway, babe! I'll be better to ya then they ever could..."

She was referring to your group again, wasn't she? She really didn't like them. You were again tempted to leave the room, and her, to look for them again...but you wanted to prove her wrong. And so you'd stay here. With her...

You hoped you wouldn't regret this.

You chose not to reply to her that time, and when you didn't, she spoke again. "What's wrong? Worried about them? You're so sweet, carin' for people who aren't thinkin' about you...But I assure ya, they're just fine! I didn't touch 'em at all! I just wanted you, doll~"

Her touch returned, this time trailing up one of your arms, causing you to shrink back. "And now...I have you..."

Her voice had gotten deeper, and somehow, smoother as well. Your heart started beating faster, in what you assumed was fear. You tried to tell yourself not to be scared...that, again, she couldn't hurt you. But it didn't work...your heart raced, and you felt heat rise in your face. You gulped, and scooted closer to your candle.

"Calm down~" she crooned, her voice back to its normal tone, like that hadn't even happened, "You're gonna be here a while, doll...Ya wanna be jumpy like this the whole time, hmmm~? Or do ya wanna relax?"

You tried to find your words again, but it was difficult. Your mouth had gotten dry, your thoughts, fuzzy...and you didn't fully know why. Fear had never affected you like that before. It was almost as if...you couldn't finish that thought. "It's..." you stuttered, "...k-kinda hard to relax right now...Sorry..." Did you just apologize to her? What was wrong with you? This wasn't the kind of situation to be polite in! You mentally slapped yourself for that.

Another chuckle, this one softer and less sinister. "It's OK...just take it little by little. You'll see that you're in good hands...you'll see that you can trust me...because I'm not leavin' your side~"

It was official - you were stuck with her as long as you were here. Maybe it was because you didn't wanna be all alone, but, for the first time...that thought didn't scare you. Maybe...it wouldn't be so bad.

--- Feel the rhythm in my cold heart I could make your soul a work of art ---

"Let's start with something simple! Tell me your name~"

You fell silent, unsure if you should answer that request. You didn't know what kinds of things she was capable of. Could she leave the house? Could she look for you? You weren't sure, and you didn't know if it was safe to ask.

"C'mon, I wanna get to know ya better...I'll let you know me better too! Does that sound good? You scratch my back...and I scratch yours~?" the point was emphasized with a slow touch trailing up your back.

You thought about it a bit more, as you looked down at your hands. She'd made it clear what she wanted - not to hurt you, not to scare you...but to talk to you, nothing more. In fact, with the things she said, it almost felt as if she wanted to make you happy. Of course, it was hard to tell how honest she was, especially with the playful way she talked to you. You had a hard time reading ordinary people, so reading someone who's face you couldn't see...it felt impossible. But she wasn't leaving. You had to accept that.

And you couldn't deny that the opportunity to learn more about her in return certainly sparked your curiosity...

Just as you were contemplating it, she asked the very thing you were trying to ask yourself.

"Cant’cha give me a chance?"

You took a deep breath, hoping this wouldn't come back to bite you. You mumbled your name under your breath.

She repeated it. "Is that it?" You nodded shyly. "What a cute name...It fits you~" You felt your face flush at that. "Thanks so much for sharing it with me~"

"I-it's fine..." you stuttered, "A-and...no one has ever said that to me before..."

"What? That your name is cute? Or that YOU'RE cute~?" she asked with a chuckle.

Nerves built inside of you, causing your stuttering to get worse, to the point where you were fighting to not stumble over your words. "I-I...um...No way...Y-you're lying, like, it's a j-joke right? I-I'm not..."

"You're just provin' my point there, doll~"

You looked at the wall, doing the best you could to avert your eyes from her, even though you couldn't see her. You wanted to hide your burning face. No one had ever called you cute before...Even though you couldn't fully tell if she was serious, you didn't know how to react...A ghost complimented you, and you were flustered. It was embarrassing.

--- Just a touch of heaven Walking with the dead makes you feel alive ---

You felt something softly cover both your hands on your lap, making you flinch and look over again. Not that you really had any reason to...you saw nothing there. But, you could imagine her there, looking you in the eyes, as she placed her hands over yours...

...Why didn't that thought scare you?

She said your name again...Your name, coming from her smooth voice, echoing throughout the room...Your thoughts escaped you, and you sat there silently, not pulling away. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt yourself start to relax.

"Doll...Have you ever had a best friend?"

You willed yourself to speak again, as if snapping yourself out of a trance. "O-oh, uh...a best friend?"

"Yeah! Y'know, someone you can open up to...Someone you can tell aaaall your secrets to...Someone you can trust with everything~..."

You paused, trying to think into your past. Was there ever someone you felt you could tell anything to? Or have you always been scared to do that? "...No," you answered truthfully, "I've had friends before...b-but never a best friend..."

She hummed. "Mmmm, that's sad...But I know the world out there is full of fake friends who'd never treat ya well..." she said softly, as you could very slightly feel your hand being stroked, "I'd never treat ya like that. I'd never make ya feel like ya don't matter...I can show ya what it's like to have a best friend~"

Her words were soft, and in a way...caring. Maybe you were simply losing the ability to fight back, but...it felt like she was being honest. Having someone to be there for you, to comfort you...a special someone like that...was that what you wanted? With your current friends, you were always scared to open up, worried that they wouldn't like you anymore. To have someone who you know wouldn't do that, no matter what...you couldn't deny how nice that sounded. But...was this really the right place for that?

You didn't know what to say...she had left you stunned. It felt like you were...melting. Maybe...you should trust her...even for a little while...

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she said, "Call me Spinel~"

And just like that, you knew her name. You repeated it back to her. "Spinel...?" your voice was weak, unsure, "L-like...the birthstone?"

"Exactly that, toots~"

What a unique name...Spinel. You didn't say it out loud, but...it fit her.

--- We could take a ride on the road to paradise You'll abandon your bones for a desolate home away ---

"It's your turn to ask a question now. Fire away~"

You were taken aback when she said that, having had no idea you were taking turns. "Oh, um..." You paused, trying to think. What should you ask first? She'd given you the opportunity to learn more about her, and you wanted to take it...Maybe knowing more would make you more comfortable. But you had no idea where to start. Should you start with her past? Should you ask her...what she looks like? If she even has an appearance at all...? Was it OK to ask questions like that? Would she even tell you the truth?

While you thought it over, she said nothing, but you could still feel her ‘hands’ on top of yours, so you knew she was still there. She was being patient with you...She really did want you to talk to her. It was hard to believe...

Finally picking a question, you spoke up again. "How long...have you been here?"

"How long? Hmmmm..." now it was her turn to stop and think, "...Sorry, doll, I lost track of exactly how long! It's been longer than you've been alive, though, I know that much!" she said, in a casual way.

"R-really? That long?" you asked incredulously. You supposed it made sense, with how old the mansion was. Was she as old as the place? Or even older? Had she always lived here, since she was...alive? Was she even alive before? More questions popped up in your mind, your curiosity rising.

"Y'know what? Go ahead and ask another one. Maybe I'll give ya a real answer this time~"

"N-no, it's fine! I'm fine with the answer I got!" you said quickly.

"But ya look so curious! Y'wanna follow it up?"

You were embarrassed that you were so easy for her to read. Again, you avoided the big questions about her appearance and her death. You wanted to try to be polite to her, and treat her as a person and not a ghost. After all, she had asked you to give her a chance, and you decided to do just that. "Do you, um...live alone...?" you asked nervously.

"Yes, I do," she answered, "But there are more of us. I do go out and mingle with other spirits like me sometimes...We like watchin’ humans, when we can find 'em...Lurin' away groups and splittin' them up is our favorite thing!" she giggled, "But most of the time, I stay here."

So there were more...That thought made you uneasy. Knowing there were other ghosts, possibly ones not as social as Spinel was, out there somewhere...and they like luring humans...You should've known you couldn't be the only one who's caught her attention. You weren't special enough.

Just as fear started to build up in your body again, you felt her stroking your hand again, as if she sensed it. "But don't worry. We don't mess 'em up...That's not what we like doin'~...We just like playin', and talkin', like this~"

So...all ghosts, or at least the ones like her...they were all affectionate, like her? You found that hard to believe, but you had no way of proving it false. And she had no reason to lie to you at the moment.

"But so far...none of 'em have been the special someone I want..." she added, softly, "No one wanted to stop and chat for long...and I never got to make 'em truly happy...But you, doll, you're different..."

Her words had made you think. Was that really all she wanted...? Was that true? Everything she said to you to calm you down, ease your fears...Part of you had wanted to believe it, and now, all of you wanted to believe it. All this time, Spinel was alone, and wanted a...a...

"S-special...someone...?" you asked.

"That's right..." she said, in a voice just above a whisper.

Her touch left your hands at last, but you weren't free for long. You felt her softly stroke your cheek, causing goosebumps all over your skin. You inhaled sharply at the sensation.

"Maybe I'll get to..." her voice trailed off.

Your body was frozen, and the tone of her voice caused a feeling in your chest that, for once, wasn't fear at all. When she didn't finish the sentence, you longed to know the rest. What was she going to say to you? You felt like you needed to know. "G-get...to...wh-what...?" you asked, your voice coming out breathier then you had wanted it to.

After you asked that, she immediately released your cheek, leaving you to bend forward, letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Whoops, I almost got ahead of myself! It's my turn to ask now!"

"B-but...what...were you gonna say?" you asked her. "Wh-what...?"

She chuckled. "Eager, arent'cha? Well, good to know you aren't scared anymore~" she teased, "Don't worry...you can ask me later! I'm not goin' anywhere, remember~?"

Your face flushed, and you looked down at your hands again. Why did you have to get so caught up in the things she said? Did it even really matter, if you weren't gonna come back after this? Your group was probably looking for you right now, and here you were, wondering what she was going to say to you...as if it was important...

But you couldn't help it. She was getting to you.

--- Have you seen the watcher's castle born of ice? It's a comforting hold for the wandering souls to stay ---

"You were forced to come here, right?"

You nodded. "Mhm..."

"So, did you know anything about this place before ya got here...or, perhaps, had you heard things?"

"I thought we were asking one question each...and that's two..." you said, in the most deadpan voice you could muster. You tried your hardest to seem like you didn't care, embarrassed about what just happened.

She giggled in response. "Oh, you! Y’know that first one doesn't count, since I already knew the answer~!"

Of course she already knew you were forced here. She had told you the reason she took notice of you is that she'd seen how scared you looked. Even when you tried to hide how much you didn't wanna come, someone still noticed...Thinking of that again, you realized that Spinel read your emotions better than your friend did. How did that work?

And she made it seem like...she cared about you so much already...It was an odd feeling.

"I-I know," you replied after a pause, "I was just messing around, that's all..."

"Tryin' to show me some sass, huh, kitten? Better watch out, 'cause I'm callin' the shots here..." she said teasingly, "...and ya can't hurt me with those claws of yours~"

You weren't sure if it was just your imagination, but the way she said that sounded almost flirtatious, in a way. You turned your head away from your candle in an attempt to hide your flushed face in the darkness...a futile attempt, for sure, given she lived in darkness. You attempted to keep calm while your heartbeat picked up speed.

"You OK there~?"

You subconsciously started jiggling one of your legs in your nervousness. "I-I'm fine...!"

"You gonna answer me, theeeeen~?" You flinched as you felt something trail up your chest very slightly, and you moved back a bit.

"I-I didn't know too much!" you stuttered, your voice cracking a little, "A-all I knew was that it was old, a-and no one has lived here for decades, a-and..." you paused, "...that people went insane in here...s-said they heard voices! B-but I was told not to believe that part...L-like it was a rumor..."

She chuckled. "You thought you wouldn't find anything? And how did that work out for ya~? How does it feel, knowin' that the rumors are true, huh~? And now that ya know not to be scared..." you felt her again, running through your hair, as her voice got quieter and whispier...more sultry, "Talkin' to me right now...does it thrill ya, doll~?"

Your voice got caught in your throat as you sat there wide-eyed, like your brain had stopped working. The feeling in your chest intensified at her words...it was a fluttery kind of feeling, one that you hadn't felt in a very long time. You didn't know how to react to it. You didn't know how to respond to her. Yet your thoughts raced, trying to catch up.

Does it...thrill you? Does she think that you like talking to her? Why would you enjoy sitting in the dark, in an old abandoned bedroom, talking to someone you can't see? You already had enough conversations with voices in your head, and this was no different then that...except it was way creepier!

...But...it wasn't. You could feel her there. And she was listening to you, in her own way...Giving you all her attention, saying things to you that no one else had ever said before...

...But no...there was no way that you were enjoying this. You were just waiting for your group to find you, that's all...right?

"N-no..." you attempted to speak. "I-I just- ah-" you were cut off when you felt something brush your lips.

"You're not weaselin' your way outta this. If ya really didn't like bein' here, with me...ya would'a left already, is that right~?"

You shook your head. "N-no! I-! I'm just w-waiting for my friends!"

You were too flustered to speak confidently, even though that was something you had an excuse for. You had agreed to come with her so you could prove her wrong about your friends! Prove to her that they really did care about you, and wouldn't leave without you! While it's true that you could leave the room at any time, it would be better for them to find you...

But...how long has it been?

Your heart sank as your thoughts went back to them. "I just...thought they'd be here by now..."

"Awww, don't look like that...I'll gladly let ya stay here with me for as long as ya like~..."

And just like that, the fluttering was back. Though a part of you still resisted her, it was getting harder to pretend. And hearing her say that to you...it brought you a joy that you didn't think you could feel. Maybe she did thrill you after all.

"I-I guess I will, then..." you said, still trying to keep a straight face.

--- I've been living on the far side I've been leaving footprints in your mind Tell me all your secrets I could be your key to the afterlife Feel the rhythm in my cold heart I could make your soul a work of art Just a touch of heaven Walking with the dead makes you feel alive ---

"It's your turn to ask again~" she said in a sing-songy way, snapping you out of the daze you had started to fall into.

"O-oh, right..."

You paused, trying to think of a good question for her. Something she'd feel comfortable answering. But all you could think of at first was the thing you were most curious about.

'What do you look like?' You wanted to ask her that so bad. You wanted to attach a face to the voice talking to you all this time. But...you chickened out yet again. Your mind went through every single negative outcome it could to dissuade you from asking her that, and it worked. You didn't wanna accidentally offend her if she didn't actually have a form, or if it counted as bringing up stuff from a possible past. And you couldn't help but think that...maybe this was a case where you didn't want to know the answer.

But still, she was so mysterious...and you felt increasingly curious about her, against your better judgement. So, you searched your mind for another question. Not wanting to keep her waiting, you asked the first one that came to your mind.

"So, uh..." you talked slowly, trying to avoid stuttering more, "You said that there are more...like you..."

"Yes, I did~"

"Well...where can one find them...? Like...is there a certain place you meet...?"

"Not really! Sometimes here, sometimes other places...as long as it's not crowded, where we can find small groups at a time, really! But, doll, y'know you could always come right back here if ya wanna see me again~" As she said this, you felt her on one of your shoulders and one of your cheeks.

"Wh-wha...?" your face flushed brightly, and just like that, the stuttering returned, "N-no, that's not it-! I-I was just curious!"

She chuckled, and you could hear it close to your ear. You let out a flustered squeak at the sound, trying to scoot away more and hitting the nightstand, causing your candle to wobble. You were immediately embarrassed at such a reaction. After trying your best to not seem scared of her, you just had to do that. All she was doing was teasing you! It wasn't that big a deal!

"Hey, hey! Careful there~" she said, clearly amused, as you felt her let go of you, "Did I startle ya? I'm sorry..."

"N-no, it's fine! It's fine!" you said quickly, waving your hands in front of you, "I-I'm..." you looked down in embarrassment, "...always like this..."

'I'm always like this'. You felt like you said that a lot. Whenever people apologized for making you freak out in any way, you'd say that to make them not feel bad. You never wanted anyone to feel bad for how you were...And that was the case even then. She wasn't just a ghost, she was someone who was being nice to you. And...you didn't wanna blow it.

Even if...there was a chance you'd never see her again...

"You really are such a cute little thing, doll..."

You were not expecting such a comment. You were about to disagree, when you once again felt your head being stroked lightly. "I really am sorry, y'know..." she said softly, "But I really just can't help myself...when ya look like this~..."

Her touches were always so light, it felt like they were barely grazing you. Yet, they never failed to make you go crazy. You couldn't explain why...Maybe because it was a sensation you weren't used to. You were always so distant, and averse to being touched...so, now that it was happening, it felt so foreign to you, so new...At first, you weren't sure if you liked it, but now...it was almost...comforting...

You fell into silence, sitting still as she pet you, your body relaxing bit by bit. "Do ya like that~?" she asked, voice still soft. "Awww...you really are like a kitten..."

Normally, words like that would be considered condescending...but this time, you didn't mind it. The thing you tried to disprove now didn't bother you at all. What was she doing to you?

"Stay like this for me~..." she crooned.

--- Oceans away from home Deep in the danger zone, I'll carry you ---

And so, you stayed like that, sitting with her in the dark old bedroom. And the longer you talked to her, the more you forgot why you were there. It felt like time had stood still. You lost track of exactly how long it had been, because you no longer cared. You just wanted to stay with her...

You continued asking each other questions for a bit, but even that little game was forgotten when she asked you what kind of things you like to do. You told her about your hobbies, describing your favorite things with enthusiasm. It was normally embarrassing how caught up in things you got, but with her, it wasn't. She sounded genuinely interested, and whenever you'd pause to let her speak, she'd tell you to continue. Even when she'd never heard of video games before, a testament to her age, and you had to try and explain what they were to the best of your ability, it never seemed like you lost her interest. On the contrary, she sounded very impressed that such things existed.

All the while, her feather-light touches continued grazing you...On your head, your face, your arms, your back...all over. Every single one assuring you that you weren't acting like a little kid talking to an imaginary friend...this was real. She was real.

The first time you cracked a smile at her, she immediately took note of it. "What a cute smile you have~" she cooed, in a way that made your heart flutter.

Her voice, which had once frightened you, now had a different effect on you altogether. Once you accepted her, you realized just how good it sounded...Playful, yet sweet and comforting at the same time...and able to switch to smooth and sultry at the drop of a hat. The things she said to you where things you had only dreamed of before, and her giggles and chuckles were like music to your ears. How could you ever have been scared of her?

She was like your dream come true...and yet, there was something missing. Something that increasingly bothered you.

As you talked, you tried your hardest to try and see where she was. Maybe she wasn't completely invisible to you...maybe there was some way you could see her. You tried squinting your eyes. You tried looking for extra shadows cast by the light of your candle. But nothing worked. You saw nothing.

The fact that you met someone like this, who made you so happy, but you couldn't see her...It felt so longing...

You tried to fill the gaps in your mind, by imagining a beautiful woman before you. She was tall, had gorgeous eyes, and wore a playful smirk on her face as she teased you. But, as much as you liked that image...that was only in your head. Was it right to project your desires onto her? Why did this bother you so much? You could still hear her, and feel her...that should be enough. She was a ghost. You shouldn't be expecting more...and yet...

"So~...what else do ya know about us?"

You were still sitting on the bed, having just finished a snack you had pulled out from your bag. You took a long gulp from your water bottle as you could feel her pressed against your back, and draped over your shoulders from behind, when she suddenly asked that.

"Huh? What else...?" you asked, taken aback, after you finished your drink.

"C'mon, toots, there's gotta be something else, and I can tell what~"

There was something you knew that you hadn't told her? What could that be? You thought you'd told her everything you'd heard, which wasn't much...but then it hit you, when you turned to look at your candle, still burning brightly.

"Light..." you mumbled.

"What about it?"

"I-I was told that...you don't like the light," you said, thinking back to what your friend's friend told you all, "That's why we all brought candles, instead of only a few of us..."

"Is that all~?" she asked you, sounding a bit excited.

"Yeah, it is..." you sighed, "When I said that I knew next to nothing, I meant it...S-sorry..."

"Don't be, doll..." she assured you, "I didn't expect ya to know everything..."

Was there something you didn't know, that you should know? Worry began flooding your mind as you thought it over. "Does the light...hurt you...at all?" you asked. You felt awful already...after all, she'd been around you for this long...Why didn't she tell you? You didn't wanna cause her any harm!

Once again, her chuckle rang in your ears. "No, it doesn't hurt at all!" You immediately breathed a sigh of relief, and a strand of your hair twirled in the air as she spoke, "You're so sweet, worryin' about a ghost like that...What did I ever do to deserve meetin' someone like you~?"

Your face flushed yet again, a sight that she was likely used to by that point. She was very skilled at making that happen. "I-I..." you began, but your voice trailed off. 'I should be the one asking that'. That's what you were about to say...but you stopped yourself. Were you worried about coming off as cheesy, or...did you not want to spill out too much of your feelings to her at once? That's what you always avoided doing...and now that you found yourself liking her, you were really cautious about your words. Opening up was not easy for you. "Th-that's good," you started over. "I wouldn't really call myself sweet, though..."

"Well, I would, and I'll say it over and over again until you believe me~"

You hang your head, looking down at your lap as you picked at your fingers nervously. "I-I'm not sure if I could believe you..." you said timidly, "Because...you don't know me well enough..."

"But I know enough!" you felt her touch trail down your cheek, slowly, "Enough to tell you're nothin' but sweet...Oh so sweet~..."

You didn't know how to respond to that. Yet again, she said something that no one else had ever told you before. The idea of someone like you - antisocial, cowardly - being seen as "sweet" in any way was a foreign concept to you. Normally, you would brush comments like those off, excusing them as being made by people who didn't know what you were really like...or, in some cases, you'd think it was creepy. But with Spinel, it was different. For some reason...hearing her praise you made you feel good, and...you wanted to believe her.

"You are right about one thing, though! It's true that I don't like that candle of yours~" she continued, as she twirled your hair, "And while I already just love bein' here with you...to really make me happy, you could blow it out..."

That comment caught you off guard. She wanted you to blow out your candle? Well, it did make sense, she was a ghost and all...But, if light didn't hurt her, then she didn't really have a reason to want it out, right? She should be fine like this...and you were fine like this.

Was there something she wasn't telling you?

"Can ya do that for me~?"

You tried to process her odd request. "Put out my candle...?"

"Yeah...Right now~"

You looked over at said candle, still sitting on the nightstand next to you. The only source of light in the room. Meanwhile, she continued petting you and playing with your hair, making it hard to think. You liked being able to see where you were...but if putting it out would make her happier...would it be worth it?

--- Skipping the pain of death I'd like to steal your breath and make you new ---

"Why...?" you asked.

"Well, I don't wanna ruin the surprise~" she said, before her voice suddenly shifted into a whisper, right into your ear. It was a sound that sent shivers through your body. "But I promise, you'll like it~..."

Surprise? Did she mean...it wasn't just for her comfort? Something would happen if you did so? But what...?

For a moment, it was tempting, and you almost reached for it...but something stopped you. Was it fear? Were you getting scared again...? You thought back to what the guy had said when he handed out candles to all of you. He had said to keep your candles with you at all times. Normally, you would've thought that was just so you could see, but from the way he said it, you knew that wasn't the only reason. You didn't really believe him, but now that you knew he was right, and the place really was haunted...was there something else he had known? You regretted not asking him any more.

And she wasn't telling you. You wanted so badly to trust her, but her not giving a straight answer made your mind go in a direction you didn't like...

"I-I don't wanna get lost in the dark, sorry..." you finally answered. Immediately, you felt a sinking feeling in your chest, hating refusing her request. You tried to shake it off, wanting to believe it was the right choice. After all, without your candle burning, you wouldn't be able to find your way out. You were so unfamiliar with this house, and it was so big...

The petting stopped. And unlike before, you didn't want it to.

"You won't do it?"

Her voice was still soft, but there was something...different about it. Something that made the mood instantly change. You tried to tell yourself it was just in your head. After all, you often felt like situations were often worse than they really were! You were fine...There was no reason to be tense.

"But why?" she asked, her touch still light on the top of your head. Your heart began beating through your ears. "It's so easy to do!"

"I just- I don't-" you stuttered, trying to put together a coherent sentence, "I don't like being in the dark, th-that's all-"

"You still don't trust me...do you?" she interrupted, her voice becoming firmer with each word. "After all I did...all I said..."

She'd never sounded like that when talking to you before. Was she...irritated? Your heartbeat accelerated, and not with joy. You didn't like this feeling. "I-I do trust you..." you said. That didn't come out sounding the way you wanted it to. You were too shaky and nervous.

"But you're not bein' honest with me. You're still scared of me...Ya want me to go away?" She completely stopped touching you.

"No!" you immediately yelped at that, beginning to panic.

"Then go on, I'm LISTENING..."

You had really, really messed up. She was mad at you. She was...mad at you...

"I-I'm telling the truth! I don't like the dark, and it has nothing to do with you, I promise! I promise!" you talked quickly, your eyes darting around the room in vain. You didn't know why you were looking. You knew you wouldn't see anyone. "I-is there anything else you want me to do for you? J-just tell me! I'll do it!"

There was no answer.

The sinking feeling worsened.

Silence filled the room, the only sound being from your thumping heart. "Sp...Spinel...?" you called out weakly. No answer.

No...this wasn't happening...There was no way she left you...She had said she wasn't going to...That as long as you were here...But now, not only could you not see her...but you couldn't hear her, and you couldn't feel her. It truly felt like she wasn't there with you anymore.

"Spinel...?" you repeated, louder and louder, panic rising. "Spinel!?"

When you had first encountered her, you wanted her to leave you alone. But now, after finally getting granted that wish...you were crying out her name like a scared child. After so long of talking to her, feeling her presence around you like a warm blanket, you felt so alone...so empty...

"Spinel? Y-you're still here, right!? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

With every second of silence, you felt more and more alone.

"P-please...d-don't..." your voice started shaking more and more. "N-no..."

A lump had risen into your throat. It felt like you were going to cry. This wasn't what you wanted. Not at all. But...perhaps this was what you deserved, after denying such a simple request. If that was a test of trust in her, then you had failed. Now you were paying the price.

You messed up, like usual. She had been so good to you. It didn't matter if she was a ghost. She had been kind, accepting, patient, maybe even loving...and you drove her away. Why were you always like this? Why was everything about you so terrible?

You tried to fight back the tears welling up in your eyes as you leaned forward, putting your face in your hands. "Spinel..." you whimpered, almost barely audibly. You began trembling, feeling more vulnerable then ever before.

You deserved this. You deserved this. You deserved this-

Suddenly, you felt something stroking your head, and heard a sweet, gentle voice echo through the room.

"Don't cry, doll..."

The voice that had once instilled fear in you, was now the thing you wanted to hear more than ever. And feeling her there once again, assuring you that you were still not alone, no matter how you felt, and what you saw, or rather, couldn't see...the tears still brimmed in your eyes, but out of pure, sheer relief.

"Yeah...that's right, I'm still here, babydoll...shhh, shhh, don't cry, I'm here~"

The previous frustration you had heard in her voice was now completely gone, as if it had never happened. However, you were still cautious with trying to put together the words you wanted to say to her. There was no way she wasn't still mad at you. Just because you started crying doesn't change anything, you told yourself. She could just be doing this to calm you down, that's all.

But, even though you were guilty for cracking open like this...you finally realized that you didn't want her to leave.

You slowly lifted your head out of your hands. "D-don't...scare me like that..." you weakly whined, sniffling.

"Awww, did ya think I left ya all alone? I'm so very sorry...I wouldn't do that to ya~! I told ya I wouldn't be leavin' your side, and I meant it~"

Her words made you feel warm inside, like you were melting. She didn't leave? And she wouldn't? Even when..."I-I'm the one who's sorry..." you said, your words shaky, "I messed up, and made you think I-I didn't...trust you...Y-you have the right to wanna leave, it's fine, I-"

"I'm your best friend~" she interrupted you, while continuing to stroke your head, another touch softly gliding up your arm, "And I'll be here for you, when no one else will~...I'll never abandon you, no matter what'cha say to me..."

"S-so...you're not mad at me...?" you asked, hopeful.

"I'm not...Just a lil' bit frustrated at first, but I get like that a lot. Don't feel bad, OK? It's not your fault...I did jump on ya a bit...but you forgive me, dont'cha?"

You quickly nodded while letting out a long breath in relief. You were a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions, but she wasn't mad, and she was still here. You were always so scared of saying no to people you liked, in fear that they would take offense to it. But she didn't...and you were so happy.

You wiped your eyes with a hand, sniffling more...and then jolted in surprise when you suddenly felt her touch one of your bare thighs.

--- Live beyond this divide I promise you the other side ---

"Kitten~..."

Her voice once again took on the lower tone from before...the sweetness was still present, but it was now coupled with something else, something...darker. Once again, a shiver traveled up your spine at the sound.

"Are ya happy right now?" Her touch trailed up your thigh, stopping just before it would travel under your shorts. "Or~...do ya want more? Do ya feel like something's...missing~?"

Her smooth words carried a lot of weight, and you tried to think on them, though it was hard in your current state. Something missing? Your mind once again wandered to the thing you wanted most - to see her. But you knew that would never happen, so you decided not to mention it. You didn't want to bring up your hopeless desire. After experiencing that feeling of panic when you thought she had left, you realized that things like that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was there.

Hearing her voice, feeling her ghostly hands on you...It really did make you happy. And that embarrassed you, but you couldn't deny it anymore.

"I'm...happy..." you muttered quietly.

"Are ya sure? You can tell me the truth, y'know..." she crooned, her echoing voice sounding almost ethereal to you, "I wanna do anything to make ya feel good, doll~..."

It felt like you were growing weaker as she spoke to you, so much that the fact she didn't believe you barely registered at first. You just wanted her to keep talking...to keep chasing away those worries and self-doubt that had taken over your mind and made you cry shortly before. You didn't wanna think of anything else...

"Anything~..."

Her touch trailed across your thigh, moving inwards...You inhaled sharply and jolted in shock once again, pressing your legs together tighter. "S-Spinel-" you stuttered, trying to piece together what just happened...Even if it wasn't much, no one had ever touched you in such a way before! Your cheeks flushed brighter than ever before. "Wh-what are y-you-!?"

"I wanna know everything about you~" she crooned, as she stroked your thigh ever so softly, "All your high points, all your low points...all the good and bad things about you...all your secrets, all your dreams...Nothin' is too much for me, doll...No more holdin' back, OK? I don't want ya to hide anything from me~..."

Your breath hitched, and goosebumps rose on your skin at her touch. You didn't have it in you to tell her to stop, so you simply sat there, taking in the new sensation while trying your hardest to focus on what she was saying. "Wh-what's there to...say...?" you said, attempting a laugh, "I'm not very...interesting...! I-I don't really have...much to hide...!"

You were lying through your teeth. You hid many things from people. It was a habit to not share what you were feeling, and to bottle up your emotions. But you really did think you weren't interesting.

"I'll be the judge of that~" she said with a chuckle, "And I've enjoyed my time with you so, so much...So please, lemme hear everything...Anything that's eatin' at ya, so I can make it better~"

It was becoming harder and harder to think straight as she continued stroking your thigh, but you still tried to. Was there anything that she could do to make you happier? Was she implying...what you thought she was? No, there was no way...Yet, you got more shivers at the thought. What was she doing to you? And how do you respond to such a loaded question?

"I..." you said, your voice almost a whimper, "...don't think...there's anything more...y-you can do..."

"Just try me~..." she whispered, as her touch advanced further up...under your loose shorts. You couldn't help the noise that escaped you.

There's nothing she could actually do to you, you thought. She's a ghost. You can't see her...you can't...see her...but...

"B-but..."

"I can give ya everything ya want...Just tell me, doll...Tell me~" Her stroking continued, her touch lingering on your sensitive skin. If it were anyone else doing this, you would've moved away and told them to stop. But it was her, and though you were flustered at her actions, a large part of you wanted her to keep going...Despite the fact that you knew she couldn't go further, you just wanted this...

This was all you wanted to think about.

"I-I..." you tried to speak, coming out as barely above a whisper, "I'm happy enough...just, um...b-being with you..." You closed your eyes in embarrassment, feeling your cheeks get even warmer. It took a lot of willpower for you to say that. You never thought you would admit that. It was the first time you made it clear that you enjoyed her company. With that, you officially stopped resisting her. Regret filled your mind, and you worried if that was the wrong thing to say. Would it have been better if you had kept denying it? Were you coming off as...desperate?

"That's all? You're sure that this is all ya want, huh?" she asked softly, "You're too cute..." You shivered again as you felt her lightly touch your cheek, "Dont'cha worry, toots...As long as you're here, I'll be with you..."

You sighed, taking in her soothing touch and words. The way she treated you still seemed so surreal...She made you feel a way you had never felt before. None of your other friends had ever affected you like she did. It was as if...you were in love.

"...So stop lyin' to me."

Her voice suddenly shifted once again, becoming firmer. Your heart skipped a beat, and the calm you were in faded away as quickly as it had started. "L-lying? I'm not-!" you began.

"LIAR!" she interrupted, raising her voice. You flinched, your voice getting caught in your throat. She yelled at you...You didn't understand what you did. She said she wasn't mad at you, right?

Your breaths became shaky in your panic, but her touch never left you. She trailed up and down your thigh, gently, softly..."Ya say ya don't want more, but you do..." she spoke softly once again, but without the soothing air from before. The atmosphere had become tense, to the point where it seemed like she could lash out again at any moment. "I don't like bein' taken for a fool, kitten. Even if ya can't say it, I can see it all over your pretty face..."

Your heartbeat was racing, her every word hitting you so hard you could almost feel the impact. She knew you were hiding something from her...but you had accepted that what you desired couldn't happen, so you didn't think you would admit it. And what else was there? Your mind scrambled to think of something to say...but she didn't give you the chance.

"That's right, I know~...I know what you're feelin'...You don't wanna just be best friends..."

When she said that, it felt like time had stood still. Your mouth opened, but you had no reply. Your brain was flatlining as she continued working her magic, giving a dark chuckle.

"Hit the bullseye, didn't I~?" she purred, once again sounding close to your ear. All that you could muster in response was a barely audible whimper.

Hearing her say that...It was something that hadn't crossed your mind, but was it true? Did you really desire to be...more to Spinel? Is that why you felt so strange around her? Why you opened up to her? Did you have feelings for her? Did she really see through you so easily, that she could identify something like that before you yourself did? Or was she simply telling you how to feel? That small part of you that was still wary, told you that there was no way she was right...

But the way your heart was pounding...The way the warmth in your body rose when she touched you...and how empty you felt when she let go...

While you were trying to piece yourself together, she went back to stroking your flushed cheek, the touch on your thigh still lingering as well. "A bit tongue-tied? Awww..." she continued, "It's OK, doll...I know it's hard...You're scared of spillin' your guts to anyone, after bein' pushed around so much...But it's OK, I'm happy...I'm sorry I yelled at ya...I'm so, so very happy that ya feel that way about me~!" you felt something lightly press against your forehead, "'Cause, guess what~? I feel the same~..."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. She...couldn't have been telling the truth. There was no way someone like her could ever feel that way about you...But...the way she talked to you, the petnames she gave you...that wasn't completely a friend thing. You had tried to convince yourself that she was just really playful, but now, after she said that...No. This couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening. Not to you...

"I haven't felt this way in such a long, long time~...I can't get enough of ya, darlin'~...You're wonderful~..."

You whimpered, your entire body flushing in a way it never had before. You felt like you could start sweating at any time. Was this...anxiety? No, you knew what anxiety felt like, and this wasn't it. Hearing her praise you like that...it made you feel weak, lighter than air...

...But that nagging voice in the back of your mind wouldn't shut up.

"Mmmm, so, so sweet~" she whispered, her touch wandering under your shorts, towards your inner thigh...You inhaled sharply, causing her to chuckle slightly. "You like that~?" she cooed.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Your heart pounded through your ears.

This wasn't right. You had only just met her that night. And...she was a ghost. You could never...

"Did that make ya happy~? Did I make ya feel good~? Awwww, that's great! Don't be nervous, let it all out..."

Even after you'd opened up to her, confided in her...you'd been completely blind to your own feelings. But she wasn't. She had caught on...and told you she felt the same. Through your amount of disbelief...yes, you were happy. She made you immensely happy. As you sat there, speechless, you kept replaying that one thing she'd said in your head: "I feel the same."

You wanted so badly to believe her... You wanted so badly to tell her everything...how she made you feel... But still...there was something missing...and a part of you remained wary of her, telling you to stay on guard.

"Do ya want me to keep goin'? Touchin' ya like this~?" she crooned, "Do ya wanna be distracted from all the awful, awful things outside~? To stay here with me, and think of nothin' else~?"

You whimpered again as she continued speaking to you, her smooth voice offering you something that sounded like a pleasant dream. At this point, you had almost forgotten why you were even here. It didn't matter anymore...

"Does that sound good~? Lettin' me chase all those bad thoughts away~?"

You closed your eyes, your breath quickening. "Y...yes..."

"Good~..." she whispered, that one simple word sending more shivers through you. "You're so good, doll...Now, let me in~...Show me you're not scared anymore~"

This wasn't right. But...it felt so good. You tried your hardest to push the fear into the farthest corner of your mind. Spinel wouldn't mislead you. There was no reason to be afraid. You took a slow breath, and slowly, you parted your legs.

"That's it~" she purred, and you instantly felt her brush against your inner thighs where even the lightest touch sent pleasant tingles through your body. You put a hand over your mouth to stifle your whimper at the sensation. She hummed, which let you know she was enjoying herself. "Didn't I tell ya not to hold back from me? Let me know how I'm doin', OK?" she asked, in an almost innocent way. "Take ya hand off ya mouth," she added firmly. You noticed that her accent got stronger the more aggressive her voice was. Another detail about her that you found yourself liking.

You did as she asked, and were rewarded when she trailed up further. The more she touched you there, the more you wanted it. Your body begged for more, to feel her more than you were. Was it not possible? At least you were lucky to feel her at all. On your cheek, she kept stroking, and soon, you were completely melting under her touch...a whimpering, squirming mess.

Your breath hitched, and without meaning to, you began rolling your hips against the mattress beneath you. It was astounding, the hold she had on you. "Y'know, I've always wanted my very own...pet~" she said, the amount of breathiness in her voice making her sound very exhilarated, "Someone to call mine~..."

Those words made it worse. You whined, squirming more, desperately trying to feel her more physically. You couldn't. The touches were light as ever. It drove you crazy. It was the best feeling of your life, but at the same time, it didn't feel right. Something was building inside you, but it felt...longing. "S-Spinel..." you breathed out her name, "Please...help..." you whimpered.

"Hm~? But I'm doin' all I can, babe! Unless~..."

She trailed up even further...as far as she could to your crotch. You felt an unfamiliar tingle there. You let out a small peep at that, being far beyond the point of resisting. You were so glad no one else was there...

...But it still wasn't enough. It was so light, just to the point of getting a reaction, but not strong enough to bring you to where you wanted to go. She was such a tease...

"Keep makin' those noises...I like it~"

Soon, it became unbearable. You squeezed your eyes shut and whimpered a bit louder, your desperation reaching its pitch. Your body was so warm, you felt like you could start sweating. Her teasing was driving you mad, and the things she was saying weren't helping in the slightest.

"Sweet little doll, if only you could see what I can...You're so pretty with your face all pink like that..."

You had always had an image in your head of this kind of perfect moment. The kind of intimacy you had never thought you would ever receive...Melting under the command of someone beautiful, sweet praises muttered to you in a voice you couldn't resist...just like this. Your heart racing, just like this. Your breath taken away, just like this. You, in your desperation for more, clinging to them, not wanting to let go...

In the heat of the moment, you raised both your hands in front of you...but there was nothing there. You grasped at the air, whining pathetically.

You opened your eyes...but you saw nothing. You saw no one looking back at you.

And you finally broke down.

"Stop..." you whispered, your voice shaking. When she didn't respond, continuing to touch you, you repeated yourself a bit louder. "S-stop...!"

She listened to you and stopped, removing herself from you entirely. You found yourself immediately missing her touch. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, sounding concerned.

You took a shaky breath as you came down from the emotional high once again, and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep the warmth from dying. "I..." you whimpered, "I-I can't..."

You couldn't bring yourself to finish the thought. It was just too painful for you...too much to bear...But it felt like you couldn't hold it in anymore.

No matter how much you loved talking to her...no matter how much you loved the feelings she gave you...there was a desire within you that couldn't be satisfied. Something inside that craved things you couldn't have. And you hated it. Why did things have to be this way?

She had told you that she felt the same...and yet, you could never truly be held in her arms. You could never look into her eyes. You could never see her smiling back at you. You could never bury your face in her chest, feeling safe and sound. And you could never feel the magical sensation of being taken by her.

Even her voice, which you loved listening to...the way it echoed made her sound far away...out of your reach...

You shuddered, feeling your eyes well up with tears of frustration. But then, you felt her once more, brushing against your shoulder. "Hey..." she whispered, "It's OK, I'm here for you~"

"B-but...I can't..." you attempted to speak, while choking back the lump rising in your throat. She stroked your upper arm in what would normally be a soothing fashion, but instead, it only reminded you of your anguish. Finally, it was too much. "I can't see you!" you cried out, a sob following after. "I-I wanna trust you, and...and I wanna believe everything you've told me...but...I can't see you and it kills me! I-I can barely even feel you...!" you sobbed louder, "I-I wanna see you! I wanna see you!" With every word that tumbled out of your mouth, it was harder to hold back the tears, and they spilled out. You covered your face, not wanting her to see you like that.

For a moment, the only sound in the room was your sobs. She was still touching your arm, so you knew she was still there, but she was completely silent. It was just as you feared - she didn't want to hear that.

You shouldn't have said anything. You should've kept it to yourself. You were an expert at keeping things to yourself, so why did you do that? Why were you so needy? Did she think you were ungrateful now? That wasn't true...you were so happy you met her...

Why did the most perfect person you ever met have to be a ghost...?

--- Abandon light inside of you You're ascending now And breaking through Nothing living's ever true ---

In the midst of your regret-filled thoughts, she spoke again.

"Doll...Hold out your hand~"

Her words were soft and smooth as always, which surprised you. Was she not bothered by what you'd said? Did she not mind at all, even as you cried? You felt a bit of relief wash over you. You had been so worried about her reaction...like she'd take offense to it. But you should've expected better from her...After all, no one else had treated you like this before. There was no one else like Spinel...

You uncovered your face and did as you were told, holding out one of your hands in front of you. You gasped softly when you suddenly felt something lightly pressing against your palm. You tried your hardest to identify how it felt...it was light, yet you thought you could almost feel a softness.

"Right there..." she said softly.

You could feel yourself melting inside. That was her...you were actually touching her...It was a small thing, yet it made you feel so happy to be able to do one of the things you yearned for. "Spi...nel..." you choked out her name, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. You wanted so badly to throw yourself into her arms...

"Your hand feels so good in mine, doll~" she cooed at you gently, "Dry those tears for me, OK? I'll stay like this for as long as ya need..."

You didn't move your hand at all, savoring the moment. Once again, you had to remind yourself that this was reality and not a dream. You brought your other hand to your face, wiping the tears away as best you could, sniffling. "Sorry..." you mumbled, feeling embarrassed. That was two times now that you've cried in front of her.

"It's OK...I understand...This is hard for me, too~" she said, as she gently caressed your cheek once again, "I'm the one who should be apologizin'...I wanna make ya feel as special as I see you...But, sadly, this is all I can do..."

This was hard for her, too? Was she just as frustrated as you were, and just didn't show it? Well, she must be used to living like that...but still, from the way she said that, it didn't sound like it fazed her at all. Was she just taking pity on you? Still...you wanted to believe her words. Every single one...She really did make you feel special.

"But..." she said, "There is a way that can change...A way that I can be with you even more~"

Your eyes widened in surprise when she said that. "Even...more...?" What does she mean? Was there a way around your problem after all? You were immediately curious. It was one of your flaws - jumping to conclusions, getting your hopes up over ambiguous comments. "Wh-what's that...?" you asked.

Her answer was simple, but the way she said it gave it a lot of weight...and importance.

"Blow out the candle..."

You felt a sinking feeling in your gut. Once again, it came to that - your candle, still burning on the nightstand next to you. Your source of light. Your crutch. She'd requested this before, and you had refused. That had made her upset, and you hated it. Would you dare do that again?

You fell silent as she held your cheek, lightly stroking it. "You heard me..." she crooned, "Just blow out that candle, and I promise to take care of you~"

Your face flushed at those words. It was such a simple request...but what would actually happen afterward? What was she hiding from you? Why did thinking of that make you so nervous? You had told her you weren't scared anymore...but did you lie to both her and yourself?

"B-but..." you stuttered, not moving a muscle, "I...I can't..."

"You can~..." she responded, "We can have so much fun in the dark...You and me, together, alone~..."

"But...we're already together..." you protested weakly, "...just...like this...I-I'll get used to it..."

"Ya don't have to, though! Y'see..." her voice dipped lower again, sounding close to your ear, "I can give ya what ya want most~"

Goosebumps rose all over your skin, and a small peep escaped your lips. It wasn't just her voice, but what she said. What you want...most? Could it be...Was it true?

"W-will I...b-be able to...see you...?" you asked.

For a moment, there was complete silence. The only thing you could hear was the pounding in your chest. Just the thought of being able to see her...After you had convinced yourself it was impossible...You couldn't help it. Your body was acting out in excitement, and you couldn't calm down. "Spinel...?" your voice was a high-pitched squeak. You tried not to seem desperate, but her lack of an answer was making your thoughts race.

Her dark chuckle filled the air, making you shiver. "Why dont'cha find out~?" she finally responded, "C'mon, don't keep me waitin', doll~..."

Once again, she didn't give you a straight answer, and it drove you mad. She was such a tease, through and through...You should've known that by now. She always knows what to do to coax you further and further, until you're a mess once more. But this...this time was different.

This time, her teasing was making you...wary.

"Blow out the candle~" she repeated, "Do it for me~"

You wanted to obey her, and put out the candle. But...would you like what would happen? If it did cause you to see her, even in the darkness...Would you truly like what you see?

It felt like she knew you inside and out...but you two had only just met today. There was so much about her you didn't know. You didn't know what kind of things she was truly capable of...the things she could do in the dark.

What if she was...tricking you?

That one thought made you feel sick. No, no, there was no way. She had treated you better than even your friends have. She even showed concern for you. That had to be genuine.

But...what if she was too good to be true? What if she was actually...

A monster?

You clutched your chest with one of your hands, trying to keep your nerves in check. You had to stop thinking those awful thoughts. Being walked over all your life had made you a nervous wreck. Of course something like this would seem "too good to be true".

Spinel wouldn't hurt you. Spinel wouldn't lie to you. Spinel made you feel things you thought you had forgotten how to feel.

"Are you OK?" she asked, "Are you...scared?"

"N-no! No, I'm not scared!" you answered quickly, "I-I dunno what's wrong with me, but...I'm not scared...I-I don't wanna be scared!" You looked down at your lap, jiggling your leg anxiously. You hoped she wasn't hurt at all.

"Oh~? Then...are ya maybe...a bit nervous~?"

"I-I..." you began, but your voice trailed off. You didn't know how to respond to that. Of course you were nervous. You had no idea what would happen, good or bad. Even the thought of being able to cling to her solid form as she works an indescribable magic to you...was that something you deserved? Would you be good enough for her...?

Maybe you weren't just scared. Maybe you were also worried about...that...

"Don't worry about a thing...Just listen to me~" she purred, "Calm down, and let me adore you...Blow out the candle~..." her voice became a whisper, "Blow it out~..."

There was no way something big wouldn't happen. She was so adamant, repeating it over and over...and each time, it became harder to resist. The world around you blurred as she spoke to you. There was still a looming danger in the air, but you felt assured that she'd protect you from it.

You wanted to listen to her...you felt compelled to obey her every word...but your nerves were climbing, thinking about what could happen. You craved intimacy, but you were also afraid of it. If this really would allow you to see her, what would you do? Clam up? Become even more of a mess? You'd never done anything like this before...you didn't wanna disappoint her...

While you thought about that, your heart raced in your chest, and your breath quickened. No doubt, she noticed this. Her touch trailed down your cheek to your chin, gently tilting it upwards. You could imagine her looking into your eyes. "C'mon, darlin', don't chicken out on me now...I know you're excited...I know how much ya need me~..."

You whimpered in response, words escaping you. She chuckled, and you felt her grab your arm, as if holding you in place. You closed your eyes, shivering.

"This isn't just for me...This'll be for you~" she continued, "This'll be for your happiness...That's all I'm after, doll...I saw how ya reacted when ya thought I'd left you...It hurt me so, so much to see that! I never want ya to feel like that ever again...I never want ya to be...abandoned ever again. Those friends of yours, they led ya to me...and now ya don't need 'em anymore. You deserve so much better~..." Her sweet words swirled in your head, making it hard to think.  

Your...friends...Oh yeah, that was originally why you came here. It was to wait for your friends. How could you have forgotten? How long has it even been since that had last crossed your mind? It felt like so long since you'd last seen them...You remember being so worried that they'd forgotten about you, and then you went and forgot about them. Why did you...you...

That small blip of guilt you felt left as soon as it had come when she continued speaking.

"I wanna give ya someone who will listen to you...Someone who will never leave ya behind...Someone who will love you, so you never have to be lonely again...That's what ya want, right~? So please...give me the chance to save you...I may be a ghost, but if ya blow out that candle...I can make ya feel alive, doll~"

Alive...That one word carried so much importance. And made you think thoughts that you'd be ashamed to share. Your body heated up, and you tried to stay calm. She was right. You never wanted to be lonely again. You had been fine being an outcast, but being here made you realize just how starved for affection you were. And now that you had gotten a taste of it, you never wanted to go back. You're not sure you'd be able to.

But it wasn't just that. You didn't wanna seek out just anyone to belong to. You wanted...her. Spinel. The first one who'd ever treated you like this. Even if it was a trick, you didn't care. You never wanted to let this go. As long as you were with her, you'd be happy. You'd happily play the fool for her as many times as you could.

When she finished speaking, she let go of you. You let out some deep breaths, your heart just about ready to burst out of your chest. You didn't have much time to clear your head, as you soon felt her touch your back, in what felt like a really soft nudge forward...toward the nightstand, and your candle.

"So do it..." she said darkly, almost menacingly.

Without a word, you opened your eyes and reached for your candle with your shaking hand. Once you came close, your nerves came back briefly, and you hesitated.

You didn't know what she was capable of. You didn't know what would happen. The warning you had been given all that time ago repeated in your head. Ghosts don't like the light. It repels them, and makes them harmless. Darkness is where they thrive, and putting out your candle would be surrendering to them.

You pushed those thoughts out of your mind. You wouldn't let someone else tell you how to view her. You knew her now, and you trusted her...

...And so, you'd surrender.

You breathed heavily as you finally picked up your candle, bringing it to your face. "That's it, doll, that's it~" she cooed at you encouragingly, "You're almost there~"

You could feel the warmth of the flame on your face as you brought it closer. It felt nice. It was as if it was silently pleading you to reconsider what you were about to do to it. You basked in the warmth for a few seconds, as you gathered all the courage you had...

And you finally blew it out with a single breath.

The room filled with darkness. You squeezed your eyes shut, shivering and whimpering softly, bracing yourself for whatever could happen. Your courage melted away as fear and regret filled your mind...but that didn't last long.

You gasped when something cupped your cheek. It was...a hand. Cold, yet soft and gentle. And unlike anything you'd ever felt before. Before you could react, a familiar voice spoke to you, sounding closer and more real than ever.

"It's gonna be OK, doll~..."

It was like a tremor running through your body. The warmth in your face rose, the feelings almost overwhelming. Your heart fluttered in your chest in anticipation. In that moment, nothing else mattered to you. There was nothing else to think about...no one else to worry about. You were right where you wanted to be.

You slowly opened your eyes...and your candle, now useless, was dropped to the floor.

[little-wicked10]

Purely Precious (part 3)

Pairing: Negan x Unnamed OFC

Warning: Swearing, mentions of smut, smut

Summary: How could something so beautiful, so precious, have been created from a man who lusted for blood? How could fate be so cruel as to make her have his distinct dark hair and his dimples?

Part 1 Part 2

She and Negan sat in the infirmary alone. Negan had an excited smirk on his face while she had her arms crossed in irritation. “Oh cmon, baby, don’t be mad at me,” he chuckled trying to hug her. She turned away from him, “No. This is your fault.”

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one who said, ‘Cum inside me, Daddy! Please!’” Negan laughed as she hit him.

“You’re not supposed to take it seriously!”

“What do you want me to do when my hot ass wife is begging me to fuck my baby makin’ juice in her?” Negan asked sarcastically.

“Pull out! Now I’m pregnant again! I hope you’re happy!”

“I’m very happy actually,” Negan smiled.

She hit his chest again as he laughed. In all honesty, she was over joyed to be pregnant. She was only irritated at how reckless Negan was to get her pregnant again. “Cmon, baby. Imagine how good of a big sister Georgia will be. She’ll be so excited to have a little brother,” he smiled standing in front of her. “So confident it’s a boy?” she raised an eyebrow at him. Negan laughed, “I can feel it in my guts.” She just laughed and shook her head at him. With a content sigh, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he gently wrapped his around her waist. Negan’s smirk showed how happy he was. “Dada?” a little voice pierced the quiet. Both looked towards the door to see Georgia in the doorway with her fingers in her mouth. The little girl had been sitting outside while her parents found out their little family just got bigger. “Hey Angel,” Negan smiled turning towards her. Georgia gave a toothy smile and ran towards him with her arms up. She collided with his tall legs before Negan picked her up with a content groan, “There’s my big girl.” Negan ruffled her unruly dark hair and kissed the dimple on her cheek.

She giggled and put her chubby hands on his scruff covered cheeks. “Mama ok?” she asked pointing to her. She smiled at her little girl, “Yes. Mama ok.” It was hard to believe Georgia was almost two years old, and now they had another baby on the way. “Mama’s gonna have a baby,” Negan announced. Georgia looked a little confused at the information, observing her mother up and down before looking at her father like he was crazy. Negan laughed knowing it was hard for a two year old to grasp the idea of someone having a baby.

In their room, mother and father sat on the couch and watched Georgia play on the floor. Negan smirked as his daughter crawled towards his beloved bat Lucille. “Negan! Don’t let her play with that!” she chastised as Georgia tried to put the handle of the bat in her mouth. Negan chuckled as he took the bat from her, “That’s not for you, rugrat.” He stood up and placed Lucille out of reach from Georgia, who whined in protest. She watched as Negan picked up their daughter and blew raspberries on her cheek. “I hope it’s a boy,” she admitted resting her temple on her fist. Negan looked at her with a smile, “Negan Jr. has a ring to it.” She laughed at him, “Over my dead body we’re naming him Negan Jr.!”

Negan suddenly held Georgia upside down making her giggle and yank her back up. She smiled as the two played this game until an awful thought crossed her mind. Negan looked to his wife and saw that a dark thought crept into her mind. He could see it on her face. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” he asked, stopping the game and sitting on the couch with the two year old. Georgia decided to crawl into her mama’s lap and play with her hair, gently tugging on it and attempting to put the strands in her mouth. “I’m scared,” she whispered to her husband. Negan reached out and held the side of her face in his hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb, “Don’t be. Everything will be fine.”

“This is why I didn’t wanna get pregnant again. The apocalypse is a bad place to be giving birth. There’s nothing in case something happens.”

Negan sighed, “You’re over thinking, darlin’. Women been givin’ birth the old fashion way since the dawn of time.”

“I was lucky with George,” she looked at her daughter that still played with strands of her hair, “The doctor said if we had waited an hour longer she would have flipped and I could have died. The way she was positioned meant she was about to flip until I started pushing.”

Negan let the information settle in his brain. He sometimes forgot how dangerous it was to bring a human into the world, especially since it was more dangerous to attempt something like a c-section in case something wrong happened. All he’d ever wanted was a horde of kids to spoil and teach. He’d finally found the woman he wanted that with, but the apocalypse now put him in a position that if something did happen, he might have to choose between her or the baby.

Negan shook the bad thoughts from his mind and looked at her. He needed to be the rock right now. “You’re stronger than you think. Fuck, baby, you snuck outta here and to Alexandria without me noticing then gave birth. That’s some tough shit,” he smiled, “If anybody can give birth in the middle of this hellhole, it’s you.”

—•—

It had spread throughout the Sanctuary that Negan’s wife was having another baby. Neither of them could walk ten feet without someone congratulating them or giving Negan a dirty comment. It was amazing how fast shit like that traveled. Negan basked in the attention, mainly because of how proud of his virility he was. Mean while, she was having the on coming effects of pregnancy. Her morning sickness had luckily passed within a week, but the moodiness was much worse this go around then with her first pregnancy. The feelings were stronger, but it wasn’t anything she or Negan couldn’t handle. Especially on this specific occasion.

Negan sat in his office listening to a couple saviors go over the supply runs that were sent out this morning. Things had picked up lately, and it required his full attention to make sure none of these dumbasses messed up and caused problems. One of the Saviors, Henry or something like that, was going on about the surrounding communities and what they had collected. It was all tedious at this point. The boring meeting was interrupted by a knock on the door and it creaking open. “Negan,” his lovely little wife called, “Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were busy.” Negan’s eyes lit up as she peered in, “Baby! Come on in. We’re just finishing up.”

She hesitantly walked in and past the group of men to Negan’s side. He pulled her on to his lap and kept an arm around her waist and a hand gripping her thigh. “Just let daddy finish things up real quick,” he smirked, trying to show off a bit to his men. Looking to his men, he urged them to continue with her sitting silently on his lap. The Saviors hesitantly continued and eventually ignored her presence. Negan listened and kept her in his grip at all times. Something was different though. She seemed to squirm a lot more than usual while sitting on his lap. Glancing down, he noticed how her hands were clasped together tightly in her lap.

Something was bothering her. Negan brushed his hand up her back to soothe her and felt a shiver run down her spine instead. The shift to have her thighs press together more surprised him. The smirk that dawned his lips told her he knew what she was trying to control. To confirm his theory more, Negan’s hand that rested on he thigh traveled a little higher, slowly tracing circles on the soft skin. Her body couldn’t hide the tremors this action caused. “Alright, that’s enough from you assholes. I think you guys can handle it from here,” Negan dismissed them. He didn’t miss the sigh of relief she gave when his men started to walk out. When they were finally alone, Negan turned to her, sitting back in his chair and letting his hand graze softly against her hip.

“Now, what is it daddy can do for you?” a playful smirk etched into his features.

“You know exactly what I want.”

“Do I? Or maybe I just wanna hear you say it,” Negan teased.

She bit into her bottom lip again. That lip was about to be more abused. He loved teasing her like this because of how much she didn’t want to admit that she was desperate for him. “Tell daddy, baby,” he whispered into her ear and gripped her thigh tighter. Her eyes suddenly went dark with lust as she finally released her lip and spoke, “I want daddy to make me cum so many times I’m begging him to stop.” Sitting on his lap allowed her to feel how much that comment effected him. Both suddenly acted on their instinct, crashing their lips together in a hungry and passionate kiss.

Negan stood, picking her up in his arms and laying her across the table in front of him. Her small hands went to work on his belt until he backed away from her hands to throw off his leather jacket. “Wait! Don’t take it off,” she stopped him. Negan’s smirk grew as he readjusted his jacket on his shoulders, “Damn, princess. You are just all kinds of kinky today!” Rough hands slid her skirt up to bunch around her waist and tore her shirt off over her head. His rough jeans rubbed against her center making her moan as he leaned down again to kiss her lips and neck. His teeth bit into her bottom lip and neck until both were bruised and abused to his liking.

HIs little wife writhed beneath him like a cat in heat, frantically reaching for his belt buckle as he switched to sucking on her tits, skillfully unclasping her bra and throwing it across the room. Negan grabbed her thighs and wrapped her legs around his waist as he heard his belt jingle and felt his jeans become loose. His jeans were worked down his thighs and her panties were pushed to the side. He released one of her legs, taking his length in his hands and rubbing the tip against her entrance. She whimpered and moaned, “Daddy please! Don’t tease me!” His smirk didn’t last long after he thrust into her, walls clenching around his cock made both groan. She dug her nails into his leather clad back as he started a fast and rough pace. “Fuck, darlin’. Daddy has been waiting all day to fuck this pussy!” Negan moaned, “You just couldn’t wait till tonight could you?” She didn’t respond, and he didn’t like that. He slowed down and chuckled at her whine. “Answer me, baby. You couldn’t wait could ya? This greedy little pussy couldn’t wait to have my dick inside it?” He questioned.

“Yes, yes, yes, daddy! Fuck please keep going!”

His pace picked up again, “There ya go, baby.”

What they both didn’t know was Negan’s saviors were standing outside the door listening to their leader fuck his pregnant wife. All of them had their ears pressed to the door listening to just how well fucked that little woman was getting fucked. Some of them had to admit their jeans got a little tighter hearing her call out for their leader and moaning in ecstasy.

Sweat ran down Negan’s forehead, determination to get his wife off before himself fueling him. Rough fingers found her clit suddenly and rubbed has hard and as fast as his thrusts. She started to clench around him. “Ooh are you gonna cum? C’mon, baby, cum for me. Soak my cock,” he growled. On command, her body seized and tremors went through her legs as her walls took a vice grip on his girth. Negan stuttered in his strokes, coming to a halt before unloading into her. Silence filled the room before they both began to pant. She was the first once to break the quiet, “I think you pumped twins into me.”

Negan laughed as he kissed her tenderly before slipping out of her and tucking himself back in his jeans. She sat up and slipped off the table, fixing her skirt as Negan handed her, her bra. Once both were dressed and somewhat fixed up, Negan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. “Damn, baby, I am enjoying the shit out of those mood swings.” She playfully hit his chest and giggled.

“I’m glad someone is enjoying them. They get exhausting,” she admitted.

(Part 4 maybe?)

[morethanithoughtofficialblog]

Chapter 14: Isn’t that punderful?

In which puns and feelings hit you like a brick.

*Your POV*

Something that still surprises me is the simplicity that the Underground people had in their daily lives. It was like living in a small town, where everyone knew everybody. Kids would go walking from their home to school and return safely, never fearing to be attacked by anyone. Because they knew them perfectly, and they knew them as well.

I've been learning that recently, hearing Asgore's stories. And thanks to all those generations and all those hidden memories, we could finally create one of the projects I was more eager to make: the Underground history book.

I must say that I had a lot of support on this project by a lot of people, either monsters or humans. Gaster provided me his scientific researches, Alphys and (surprisingly) Sans did as well. The three of them had an important role in the lab, but Gaster was the main Royal Scientist. Still, they all contributed with some information, making me understand the concept of souls and magic better.

Toriel got to meet and protect the eight humans that fell into the Underground, and that was really useful to establish how The Barrier was broken and why it was needed to be that way.

And well, every civilian helped me to know a general idea of how the Underground was: awful but full of hopeful people.

The most interesting part, or should I say person, it's Gerson: monster-turtle that has been living for a ton of years, and that was an important warrior in the war. He was alive before Asgore was even born! And so I spent some good hours talking to him...

"What... what was the name of your King when the war happened?"

"Reynor. Reynor Dreemurr, the great-grandfather of Fluffybuns"

"Fluffybuns?"

"Oh, hahaha! I mean Asgore, it's just a silly nickname I gave him! Don't mind this old man, hahaha!"

I smiled remembering that talk we had, being full of charm and comedy (from Gerson's part, of course. I'm no good at jokes). Monsters normally have the same age structure as humans do (years have 365 days usually, they turn one year older after that specific amount of days, etc.). That means that one human year is equal to one monster year: there's no difference at all.

And just like turtles, Gerson has lived a lot of years. According to his exceptional memory (that surprises me a lot, mine being not able to remember what I ate yesterday), the war happened three hundred and twenty-one years ago, and it ended three hundred and nineteen years ago. He was just a young warrior when that happened, he being in his mid-twenties (just as I am right now, yay! ...I need to concentrate).

Reyson Dreemurr lived a ton of years as well and married at a very old age. That explains mostly why there hasn't been a lot of Dreemurr generations after the war. The interesting fact, though, is that the eight human children fell into the Underground during Asgore's commandment, none of them before him.

"Those eight buckos, including the Prince Chara, fell into the Underground probably because the legends were starting to fade, young lady"

"So you are insinuating that people took the story as a joke, especially the kids?"

"Yep, like a bedtime story... just like us, isn't that right? Hahaha!"

Gerson was right: monsters were almost recently taken as fantastic creatures, as myths, and nonexistent. In all honesty, I considered them that as well. But if I was living in Ebott City since I was a kid, maybe it would have been different.

...

Maybe.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I was on the Prince Chara's place... and no, I don't mean in his current place, but to actually have Toriel and Asgore as parents and have a goat brother. I wonder how it could have been to go to school with the young monsters I know, or if I would ever babysit Papyrus and help him with homework. It...

It sounds like a good life, honestly.

Way better than mine, at least.

But I realize that, even if that would have happened, life wouldn't be full of roses and glitter (that idea doesn't sound appetizing either). And I know it's rude to talk like this, but Sans's case is a pure proof of what I'm trying to imply. But maybe there was something in his life that made him different...

After all, he has PTSD.

God, I sound like a jerk.

I mean, I have PTSD as well, so... there's no difference between his case and mine. The only important thing is that his painful past happened in the Underground, the "simple town" I was describing so cheerily five seconds ago. My painful past happened in the Surface, the place all of them cherished for years.

So even if we can go on and live in Perfection Land, our lives will never be perfect. Mine, for example, was shitty and uninteresting before they came. And I only have a general perspective of their lives, but I don't know them deeply...

And we return to why monsters are so similar to us: because they have a story behind that smile. And not all people will know that story. And that includes me.

Depression is an easy topic to talk about if you find a person with the same thing. However, the reasons behind it it's the difficult part since that's what actually shows your vulnerability. So yeah, when you already have it diagnosed it's easy to tell others "Hey, I have depression!", but to tell them why or when it started it's technically telling them your story.

And when you can't tell your story and neither can cry about it, then what's the matter in feeling like not saying it? Just scream that you have depression and, well, the rest will come later...

You: Hi Sans!

Sans: hello kid

Sans: how ya been?

You: Good good, how are you feeling?

Sans: eh, i guess i'm fine

Sans: not that i'm depressed or anything

Heh.

There's no difference between his case and mine.

You: Yeah, I know how it feels

Sans: to be depressed all the time?

You: Sans

You: I'm even depressed right now

Sans: huh

Sans: then u need someone raisin your spirits often?

And he just sent an image of a raisin.

Great.

You: Sans, you are awful

Sans: hey, whaddya mean?

Sans: i put my heart in it

You: Well

You: Thanks to you, I have no raisin to continue living

You: You jerk

Sans: oh my god, i'm sorry

Sans: i never meant to make your pain more...

Sans: unpearable

You: Nah, don't sweat it

You: My life was already a peach of shit

I laughed way too hard when I saw Sans calling me after that lame pun. It took me a while before gaining my breath and finally accepting his offer.

"Hello?" I asked in a fancy tone, like if I didn't know who was calling.

"hello, ma'am. may i have a word with you before i can let you live your slow death in peace?" he replied with the same fancy tone I used, and I instantly burst out in laughter, he following me immediately.

"Sans, why are you calling me?"

"to congratulate ya. you have my respects now"

"What are you even talking about?!"

"not everyone can joke about wanting to die, ya know" he let out a laugh, then continued "and less using puns"

Well, he's right, I guess.

"Sans, just end the call already"

"ok"

He just remained silent, but the call still continued. I stared at the phone with a silly smile on my face, then I groaned silently. I heard him chuckling at my reaction, then he said he will never hang up, which was bullshit since he hung up five seconds after saying that.

Sans: are u there?

You: No.

Sans: rude

Sans: i just wanted to say hi

You: That's the biggest lie I've heard in a while

Sans: what?

Sans: can't a skeleton cover his crippling depression?

You: Oh c' mon

You: Don't go all meloncholic over me

Sans: wow, another food pun?

Sans: please berry me alive before the world ends

You: Do you know what food I would be if I got to choose?

Sans: ?

You: A donut, 'cause I'm empty inside

Sans: same

Sans: i donut see the point in living anymore

Is it necessary to say I was having the time of my life? You can't tell depression jokes to everyone and having a partner to do so felt amazing. Medicine and therapy? More like jokes and puns!

Sans: do you want a tip to deal with depression?

You: I hear you

Sans: drink coffee

You: really?

Sans: yeah

Sans: expresso expresso, no more depresso!

And you bet I laughed, mostly because I drink coffee every day. Maybe I should start ordering expresso though.

You: Oh my God

You: PEMDAS

Sans: pemdas?

You: Please End My Depression And Suffering

And Sans called me again, only to hear him dying of laughter. We ended up telling more jokes all over the phone instead of chatting, him not caring about his brother hearing. Then we both went to tell darker jokes and really cruel stuff that a depressed person would joke about... just like us.

So I really don't understand why I take my problem as something humerus, but if one thing I've learned through all these years dealing with the same things is that crying is horribly useless. And people say that laughter is the best medicine, so I'm technically helping myself and, of course, Sans.

But hey, life hasn't been that bad lately. I was admitted to have a job interview (which I'll have tomorrow) in that small company, and I have more reasons to wake up and do things of my own. And I've been trying to put myself into drinking pills again, even if I don't like the fact that my mood depends on some medicines.

Talking about medicines...

"Hey Sans, do you have the pills you need already?"

"eh..." Oh he doesn't "crap, i forgot to go to the drug store yesterday"

Knew it.

"Well, I can gift you some if you want to. I have some spare pills here in my drawer, and I think I have the same medicaments the doctor prescribed you"

"that would be nice, but are you sure you want to bother yourself? besides, they are not that cheap, kid..." he had this slight hint of doubt in his voice, which made me smile gently.

"Eh, consider it as a present" I simply answered while I shrugged, even if he couldn't see me doing so.

"kid, if i'm gonna take the pills, then..." he made a long pause, then he sighed sadly "can you promise me something?"

Promise?

"It... depends"

"kid, you need to take care of yourself as well" he startled me a bit, and he somehow noticed how taken aback I was "if it wasn't for papyrus, i would probably have killed myself by now. so i just want to tell ya that you don't have to deal with this alone. it must suck being alone with the crap of your head all the time. so whenever you want to talk about, well, anything... you have me here, kid. and paps is more than open to help as well"

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

...

Shit.

"Hey, thank you. It means a lot to me"

"no probllama"

Seriously-

"An animal pun? Really?" I stopped right there, then I smiled "You've cat to be kitten me"

"i'm sorry, i didn't do it on porpoise"

"That's the sealiest joke I've ever heard"

"i never asked you to let minnow what you think"

"You're giraffing me crazy"

"nah, you're lion"

And so all seriousness disappeared and the puns were all over our conversation. I'm not that good on them, but Sans is clearly experienced with them. I'm better telling jokes of dark humor than silly animal puns. Still, I tried to keep 'em going.

"oh, by the way, papyrus says hi"

"Tell him I say hi as well"

"shore thing, (y/n)"

"I sea what you did there"

And after a few minutes, the call ended, me remembering that I had to give Sans the pills before the day was over. Or well, Papyrus remembering me all over the phone, screaming to his brother to go to the drug store before he dragged him himself (savage).

I took a skele-ton of pills and put them in my laptop's briefcase (since I'm too poor to buy a Gucci bag), then I ran to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. Decent hair, no rests of make-up... perfect. I dragged a pink hoodie (because why not) that said: "Yes, I'm CUTE: Cringy Ugly Terrible Empty", some simple black shoes and I left my apartment behind... not before going back to grab my almost forgotten briefcase.

I took the subway and put my headphones on, forgetting the rest of the world while I heard some Nirvana music. Yep, this is who I've become: a young adult that takes the train every single day of her life and puts on music all the trip, trying to dismiss my problems.

What a good life.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Arial's POV*

I heard some lively and deep laughter coming from Sans's room, my older child. I wanted to go on and check on him, but... does he really wants me there with him? I haven't been the best mother for my two children, especially for him, so... I let it be.

Sighing desperately, I went over the kitchen to see if I could do something, anything, with my time. I wasn't at home often in the Underground, so cooking isn't my strength. But if I really want to become a normal mother for them, then I had to start making dinner. I sighed again, knowing this was never the life I wanted out in the Surface.

I know this is really selfish to say, but I genuinely preferred my life down there. I was part of the Royal Guard (as a secretary mostly) and one of the most important roles in the Kingdom. I'll always let the King now if there was any problem at the schools, or if there was any planning of a protest. On weekends, my husband and I would sometimes have fun like our teenager times, or I would casually (and awkwardly when Sans grew older) visit the kids.

...it would be pretty stupid for me not to know what I did wrong. Sans trusted us, and he once felt happy when he was around us. But we treated them as only a partial company, and now he's angry and almost mad. Now he doesn't trust us anymore, and Papyrus is trying. We were never parents to our smaller child... but to Sans, we once were. And that's why he's the most hurt.

I first became a mother when I was sixteen years old and Gaster eighteen. It's unnecessary to say it was an accident, but I was too scared to try this method called "abortion", which was recently adopted in the Underground at that time. Gaster was afraid that our new son could ruin our professional lives, but he recognized himself that the abortion wasn't secure. And so I gave birth to Sans, which I don't know if it was the best for him. I haven't given him the life he deserves, and I deeply regret being too young and too stupid to not understand how beautiful the role of a mother can be. I've seen how Toriel treated her boys and how now she treats her girl, and I can't help but admire her for being brave enough to sacrifice everything she dreamed of and decided to make THEIR dreams come true.

But instead, I choose to make my ideal life come true. Because I never wanted any children... not until Papyrus, I guess. That was seven years after being responsible for Sans, just when I told myself I should be a better mother, and so I felt forced to have another one to take care of.  

I, however... never got to be the responsible mom I wanted to be deep inside of me. And so Sans had another problem: taking care of his little brother...

There...

There was even some time that I COMPLETELY forgot about their existence...

I just remember that, after realizing I had children, Sans started to hate me. He was overprotective (and he still is) over Papyrus, and whenever I tried to make him understand, he would say "you should not waste your words into lies".

Can...

Can I have a chance to be a good mother, even if now my grown son is twenty-two years old?

I...

Before breaking down in tears in the kitchen, I heard Papyrus running unheavenly fast through the door, then I heard a familiar feminine voice. That voice was not more and not less than the one of our dear ambassador, (Y/N) (L/N). She greeted him as kind as she's ever been, and he exclaimed happily how honored he was to have her in our home. She laughed politely, then Sans teleported to the living room, talking in an enthusiastic tone I haven't heard from him in years. I should have felt good, but it wasn't for me who he was happy for. It was her.

I...

I mean, she could get his trust faster than I'll ever be capable of.

I...

I don't know what to think.

She waved at me discretely with a lovely smile, and I felt more like crying. She's young and making her dreams come true because she was smart enough. She planned her future perfectly, and here she is: healthy, a bright future reflected in her eyes, and a beautiful heart and energy that both the kids admire.

I saw how (Y/N) gave Sans some... medicaments, I think, and he thanked her with a smile he never gave me. They joked a bit and Papyrus groaned playfully, then all of them went into a fit full of laughter.

"OH (Y/N)! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ENJOYS YOUR COMPANY A LOT! AND I BET SANS DOES AS WELL! WE'RE TRULY HONORED TO HAVE YOU HERE, YOUNG LADY!"

Yes, he's a wonderful child, but I can't be proud of him.

Because I didn't raise him...

Sans did.

[i-heart-danchou]

Felidae

This is for @indigonightminds​, who requested: a sad but sweet fic featuring Erwin convincing Levi to dance, after his arm’s been chomped and Levi’s all worried.   "and Levi's all hisssss but then ok this feels so. Nice” XD

Erwin had loved cats for as long as he could remember.  He admired their independence, he liked how they were standoffish yet needy and cuddly at the same time, and he liked how clean and neat they kept themselves.  He’d never been able to keep one as a child, (his father was allergic), but he often made friends with strays and would share a bit of his lunch if he could.  As he’d aged and progressed through the SC, he’d still never really had the opportunity to take in a cat of his own.  He wasn’t home often enough to keep a plant alive, frankly, and allowing a sweet little cat to die of neglect felt a bit out of character.  Perhaps that was what had attracted him to Levi in the first place; he was sleek, quick, independent, irritable, didn’t much care to be touched, light on his feet, agile… Erwin found him exceptional, adorable, and delightfully prickly. As a child he’d always felt somewhat honored when a cat graced him with its presence, and with Levi he felt very much the same way.  Little by little, the ornery ex convict allowed Erwin to get close to him, and little by little they earned each other’s trust.  Levi at first seemed to resent little touches.  His hackles would go up, the hair on the back of his neck would raise, the whites of his eyes would be visible… Erwin could almost see him hissing whenever he allowed their hands to touch, or as he rested his palm on the small of Levi’s back.  In time Levi warmed up to the contact, and even pressed into Erwin’s firm hand.  

**

They grew closer, more intimate, although Levi would always try to keep a touch of emotional distance between them.  Erwin had known a cat like that once, who nuzzled him, ate out of his hand, and then scratched him to ribbons when she’d had enough.  

Levi was like that, in some ways.  He’d come prowling in the night, nip and scratch Erwin til they were both nude, fuck him like an alleycat, and then hiss and protest whenever Erwin tried to snuggle up to him after.  

“Erwin!”  He’d spit.  “Fuck off with this gay cuddly bullshit!  Let me go to!”  

And Erwin would laugh because he’d literally just finished a rather gay encounter indeed, and hook an arm around his waist.  “Please stay?  You’re so warm.”

And Levi would watch him with careful eyes, consider his options, and give in.  “Fine.  Only cause if your dumb ass freezes to death it’s gonna be hell to reorganize the expedition next week.”

**

Erwin never wondered if Levi cared, though.  There were little things he did, sweet little gestures that proved that his recalcitrance ran only skin deep.  He’d make Erwin tea (although only if he was making himself tea, obviously he wasn’t gonna go out of his way to make fucking Erwin tea), he helped keep Erwin’s office tidy (cause Erwin was a fucking slob and it was disgusting to work in an office with fucking dust everywhere), and he always made sure the Commander was getting enough to eat (cause if he starved to death some even bigger dumbass was gonna take over and then humanity was screwed).

Erwin caught Levi watching him while he slept sometimes, his expression careful and neutral but unguarded and trusting.  He doubted Levi ever let anyone else see that face.  Hell, he doubted Levi let anyone sleep in the same room as him.  

**

It was difficult for Levi after he injured his ankle.   He wasn’t used to being left behind on missions, he didn’t like to sit around doing nothing.  Erwin wondered if Levi only saw his own worth in his utility.  If he couldn’t move, if he couldn’t fight, perhaps Levi felt Erwin didn’t need him anymore.  

Erwin could see Levi pushing himself to be useful, even if he wasn’t able to join them on the charge to get Eren back from the jaws of peril once again.

“I’ll be back soon.”  Erwin promised, and Levi glared at him.

“Don’t do anything fucking stupid.”  He said with narrowed eyes, his arms crossed over his chest.  

Erwin smiled and nodded.  He wasn’t about to make any promises.  

**

Levi had been there the moment Erwin had woken up, actually, and his wide eyed expression of disbelief would be one that Erwin would always keep close to his heart.  Levi had grabbed his hand, kissed it, called him an idiot, pushed Erwin’s hair out of his eyes, and told him he looked like shit.  It was one of the sweetest things he could ever remember Levi doing.

In a rare moment of alone time, Erwin was browsing through the visitor records that the hospital had kept during his recovery.  It didn’t surprise him to see that Levi had visited him more than anyone else while he’d been unconscious, at least once a day, for at least an hour, and rarely when anyone else was in attendance.  He glanced at the blood soaked gauze at the end of his stump and sighed.  Well, it must have been a very difficult time for Levi.  Apparently it had been a bit touch and go, the doctors weren’t certain that Erwin was going to survive losing that much blood.

Levi came in without knocking and policed the relief off of his face.  “You’re supposed to be resting.”  He snapped, snatching the visitor record out of Erwin’s hand.  
“I don’t think either of us are very good at resting.”  Erwin pointed out.  “If I lay about too much longer my muscles are going to atrophy.”  He wasn’t connected to any drips now, the hospital primarily wanted to monitor him for signs of infection or complications of anemia.  “I want to stretch my legs.  Come with me?”  

Levi rolled his eyes.  “Must be nice, being so doped up on pain meds you think we’ve got time for a stroll.”  

Erwin ignored that.  He needed to get back on his feet, he needed to lead.  Of course they didn’t have time for frivolity but… step one was standing on his own two feet.  He sat up, and attempted very valiantly to get himself out of bed.  Still, he was weak, and he stumbled forward a bit as he tried to get up.

“Erwin for fuck’s sake!”  Levi was there in an instant, providing a shoulder to lean on.  “Shit, fine!  I’ll go with you for a walk!  Stop fucking pushing yourself!”

He leaned on Levi then, annoyed at the dizziness and pain that accompanied such a small amount of movement.  His whole balance was thrown off by his missing arm, and he realized then that his 3DMG days were probably behind him.  Levi said nothing, and kept his attention focused ahead of them as he walked them to a secluded balcony that presumably people used for smoking.  

The fresh air was lovely, and Erwin stared out into the distance.  His mind was storming away— the government was part of the problem, they’d never succeed unless the current regime was ousted and there was still the basement…

A beautiful voice carried in the wind, a young woman was singing from one of the hospital rooms.  Another patient, maybe?  A guest?  She was singing an old song in a lost tongue, and Erwin found himself enchanted by her melody.  

He shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to Levi, offering his hand.  “Care to dance?”

Levi looked offended.  “Are you insane?  Why?”

Erwin shrugged, and the movement sent a bolt of pain down his spine which he was largely able to hide from his companion.  “Because..” He tried to catch his breath.  “Because we don’t often get moments like this.  Windows of peace between my miserable gambles.  Because her voice is so lovely.  Because I want to dance with you, Levi.”

Levi cringed and crossed his arms.  Erwin could almost see his back arching, a hiss at the back of his throat threatening to emerge if the Commander dared to touch him.  

“Please?”  

“I hate you so much.”  Levi hissed, snatching Erwin’s good arm with one hand and gingerly touching his side with the other.  His eyes darted to the stump of his arm, concern and something like love etched between his eyebrows.  

“That’s it.”  Erwin complimented, tucking in his face so he could nuzzle the top of Levi’s head.  “This is nice.”  He murmured, enjoying the warmth as they swayed together.  Erwin could feel the tension easing out of Levi’s form, his hair settling down, his twitchy reluctance settling down.  

“You’re a dork.”  Levi growled, nuzzling into Erwin’s chest.

“I love you too.”  He said back, kissing the top of Levi’s head.  

Erwin put the horrors of mutiny, coups, titans, and war out of his mind for a moment.  He was able to put aside the pain in his limb, the terror of coping with a new disability, the uncertain cruel future they both faced.  In this moment he allowed himself the luxury of enjoying himself, of feeling warm and secure with someone he adored.

Levi grumbled something then, but Erwin could just about convince himself it was a purr.  

[everydaymamaof3]

An awakening in a new decade...

2020, A new decade. A decade where we seem to be a bit more awakened to the world and to all of the bs, corruption and harm in it! We care about our planet and it’s species, more now than ever...and it’s funny because this was the prediction for 2012. The mayans predicted an awakening felt across the world. So maybe this awakening is just a little bit late.

For me personally, it’s also a bit of an awakening, this is an amazing decade ahead, of things I’ve manifested. I plan to expand my business. My first born daughter is getting married, and has followed her career dreams. My husband is doing incredibly well in his position. My girls are thriving. My friendships are genuine and real. My self esteem is on point. My focus is clear. My goals are precise. But it wasn’t always this way. And I will continue to be a work in progress. I manifested my main goal in life, to be a good mom, inspiring, and an honest role model. Even though I made some terrible choices in the past, I still managed to do this. You are not your past.

Some things that I’ve learned from the last decade about myself are, I still suffer a very small amount, from insecurities due to other people’s views of me. It’s psychological I’ve realized. It’s from emotional trauma through my period of self destruction. People can be so cruel. There’s no way to sugar coat this. And through my difficult time, other people’s views affected me more than they’ll ever know. Whispering, judging, spreading rumours...it DESTROYS people. It took me 12 years of clarity, to finally feel and realize that people do this out of their own insecurities. A good trick I’ve learned, is to look for the good in people, and ask yourself, why are they the way they are? Why do they find me so interesting. Why do they whisper about others? Why do they treat people that way? Why do they need other people to make them feel whole? When you turn bitterness, jealousy, and envy, into empathy or even sympathy and curiosity, and start to think about them and their choices and surroundings, it’s much easier to swallow and to move past it. And you know what, if you have these feelings, that is OK! Whether people are or aren’t judging you. If you didn’t have these feelings, you wouldn’t be human! We all get jealous, or envious, or insecure. Just figure out how to deal with it. How to release it. It’s NOT your burden to carry what others think of you.

I’ve learned that my body is beautiful, I love it. It brought me my beautiful daughters. My husband finds it sexy. He loves my curves, my strong arms, and even my little bit of cottage cheese on the backs of my thighs. Yep I said it. And cellulite sucks. Bless sarongs.

We live in an era now where social media is taking over the world, almost forcefully it seems. It’s become a normal part of our lives. It’s how people communicate, stay in touch, blog, inspire, sell, promote, complain...which isn’t great, but hey, better out than in (wise words from Shrek). People are open about anxiety and depression and panic attacks, and the struggles of parenthood, and many more struggles, and it’s much more normalized now, because it IS part of being human. A big trend in society is wellness. Documentaries on thinking yourself well, how the mind and attitude contribute to your overall health. Which, I mean, how great is that? There’s a huge abundance of it on social media.

I personally get anxiety from time to time, I recognize it, I share it, using writing to express myself, I move past it, and I find a lot of inspiring, real life women from across the globe, posting about the very same thing, and how they personally cope and manage. It’s a great tool for advice, tips and feeling human.

Exercise is my go to for EVERYTHING! Same routine for the past 10 plus years. Up early, coffee, workout, start the day. I love working out in the comfort of my home, I didn’t always, but once I got into a good groove, I really started to love it, and as I’m aging, I’m also noticing more tweaks and pangs in my body, so I listen. I alternate workouts, whether it’s running, or yoga, or HIIT, or my newest passion, spin!

I feel good, I feel fit, I’m not skinny. I’m strong, and maintaining muscle mass as we age is crucial in keeping our bodies strong, so if I can emphasize one thing, it’s be, and stay active. Good for mental health and good for physical health. And please don’t diet! It’s a short term solution! Be patient and consistent with just a well balanced diet, smaller portions, better choices, vegan is seriously amazing, and do something active everyday for at least 20 minutes.

Now back to the social media thing...it’s a wonderful tool, but it’s also a very damaging tool to people suffering from low self esteem or who are comparison living. I find myself getting caught up in it too sometimes. And I notice my emotions drastically change. I don’t feel great, and it turns into irritation, and mood swings. Hmmm irritation and mood swings from scrolling social media? Sound familiar? Yeah...because it happens to most of us. What is it exactly? Jealousy? Annoyed? Just an overload of pretend? Comparing? So guess what...change it. Unfollow. Hide. Or eliminate. Anyone who doesn’t make you feel good when you see their picture or post, should not be on your feed. My biggest goal this year and forward, quality in life, over quantity. “The little red heart on Instagram is now widely considered currency for public approval” ~ Health Canada How unhealthy does that sound?

Some don’t like my honesty, but I’ll never change who I am because of it. I like to share personal and honest so that whomever out there, even if it’s just one person, can read it, and exhale and feel normal or not alone.

You don’t have to accept aging if you don’t want to. You can express being overwhelmed. You don’t have to be a part of something that you can’t be yourself in. You don’t have to go to that family function. You don’t have to please people. An actual statistic, 64% of women have people pleasing coping mechanisms!!! 64%!! That’s 6.5 out of 10 women are trying to please others at the cost of what?

You are the only person who can protect your peace and those who matter in your life, really don’t mind. Remember my blog about the ripple affect. It’s very real. Push yourself to be or do what you don’t really want to be or do, and watch it ripple down into other aspects of your life. Relationships shift, weight shifts, work is harder than normal, motivation tanks...it all gets affected when you aren’t living true to yourself. And when I say true to yourself, I mean, when you are feeling at your best, not questioning anything, or putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, when you feel like the best version of you, stop and take note of what’s exactly going on in your life, and strive for more of that. It’s not all gonna be perfect, there’s always gonna be ebbs and flows...but you shouldn’t be living everyday feeling awful on the inside, but smiling on the outside. Reach out. Or write it down and burn it. Find a way to get back to you. Have a time out.

Surround yourself with people who truly inspire you. Who are consistent in their behaviour. Who you feel really good around. Not unsure, or uneasy. That, my friends is your intuition speaking to you when you don’t feel quite right around a person or people, or in a situation you shouldn’t be in. Listen to it.

Yes it’s great to step out of your comfort zone, but not at the cost of your peace.

I used to feel bad about being such a home body, I’m missing this and that, but in the past few years I’ve stopped feeling bad about it, because this time, right now, this tiny window of time that I have with my kids is so valuable and important to ME personally. Travelling with my family, weekend activities, downtime.. I’ll have all the time in the world to do other things when they’re grown. And that’s just me. Some women thrive on ALL of it! And you are amazing too! I feel overwhelmed and get run down easily if I pile my plate too high...maybe because I’m an energy absorber? Maybe not. But I’ve learned that I don’t function at my best on mom auto pilot. I’ve learned though to say, I’m tapping out, BEFORE the eruption of motherhood. That’s part of getting to know yourself. Time with your spouse. Time out. You time.

Don’t set unrealistic goals, don’t force yourself to do things you don’t wanna do, celebrate yourself with self care as much as you can, confide in your spouse, or closest confidantes, and nobody else, change jealousy and bitterness to empathy and curiosity about why people are the way they are. And use challenges with people as growth.. what did I learn from this.

Everyone’s fighting a battle we know nothing about! Even the happiest people in the world have struggles now and again!

I’m enjoying the shift I see happening in the universe. People calling people out for their wrong doings. Not accepting that in our world more and more. Reusing more. Not ashamed to state we buy used. Used clothing is no longer taboo! People are spending more time with family. More time getting to know themselves, FOMO is becoming a thing of the past, as it’s now trendy to enjoy being a homebody, listening to a podcast. Women are empowering each other more than ever. If a woman is body shamed by one or two, one hundred or two hundred are defending her. Magazine covers are curvy women, elderly women, disabled women...and they’re just as beautiful, as any model that graced the covers in the past. Men are allowed to cry and show emotion, and promote being family men and active dads over “bread winners and workaholics”. Skinny is out. Healthy is in. Strong is in. Kindness is in. Vegan is in. So even though the world still seems a bit scary, it is shifting...focus on the positives. And allow yourself to have days where you see the negatives, but don’t stay there, allow it, move on. You are human. It’s not only unrealistic, but unfair to yourself to not have bad days! They’re growth days ♥️

Living your life simply, true to yourself, focused on the right priorities, knowing you are loved, and giving love back, is how you manifest all the goodness and goals and dreams. Living otherwise is putting a block on allowing good things into your life ✨ Just be you and watch the magic happen.

[particularprincess]

Early Night

Alright so I’m gonna have a go at writing, let’s hope this isn’t a complete shit show.

____________________________________________________________________

I looked across the room at the most handsome man in the world, the man I was lucky enough to call my boyfriend. Seeing his beautiful smile, I couldn’t help but smile myself, but sitting alone at the bar for the past hour was beginning to take it’s toll on me. Usually Shawn and I have a blast together at the events and parties he brings me along to, but there’s always those few where I can’t help but feel like I don’t belong. And this was one of them.

I pulled out my phone and sent shawn a text from across the room.

I think I’m gonna head home. I’ll see you when you get home? 

I stared at him from across the room and it wasn’t long before he looked at his phone, then started frantically looking around the room to find me. When he finally laid eyes on me, he gave me worried look that was basically asking if I was ok without words. I smiled at him, and gave him a slight nod, as he made his way over to me. 

Watching him walk towards me, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Even after 2 and a half years of being with him, I still can’t believe how good looking he is. When I say that he is hands down the sexiest human I have ever laid eyes on, I genuinely mean it. He looks so good in his white button up, which he of course has the top three buttons of undone with the sleeved rolled up to the middle of his fore arms. He’s wearing his black pants, which are just tight enough to see the shape of his perfect butt, and his boots. He’s got his drink in his hand, and I swear he lives to drives me crazy, even though I think sometimes the boy is entirely clueless, and has no idea what kind of effect he has on me.

“Hey baby, everything ok?” he asks in the sweetest voice once he reaches me.

“Yeah, yeah everything’s fine. I’m just not really feelin this party, and I’m kinda tired. I just kinda wanna go home.” I tell him hoping he won’t question me any further. To my luck, he doesn’t.

“I’l go grab your jacket and then get out of here.” 

“That’s ok babe, you should stay. You look like your having a lot of fun. Don’t let me stop it. I’ll be fine.” I tell him giving him the sweetest smile I can manage to put on my face, hoping not to make him feel bad, or like he has to leave. His eyebrows pull together, and he gives me a concerned look like he’s not really sure if he’s buying it. “Really. You should stay. I don’t mind. Promise.” I add on and grab his hand giving it a gentle squeeze to really make sure I get my point across. 

“Ok. I’ll still go get your jacket for you, and then I’ll walk you out. I don’t want you waiting outside by yourself.” I smile and roll my eyes playfully at him. I can’t tell if he’s really concerned for my safety, or if he’s afraid I might get approached by other boys if I’m by myself. The smirk on his face, and chuckle that escapes his lips, tells me the answer though. He walks away, and I make sure no one is looking before swatting his behind. He turns his head back around to give me a look, while shaking his head.

As soon as he’s gone, the smile falls from my face, and I take a deep breath trying to keep it together. Just a few more minutes, just a few more minutes, I keep telling myself.  It’s only a few minutes before Shawn comes back, and I put the smile back on my face.

“Ready?” He asks as he gives me his hand and pulls me from my seat to put my jacket on for me. I nod my head, and take his hand as he leads me out of the huge room this party was being held in.

“Leaving already man?” Some guy stops shawn and asks him looking disappointed while we’re heading out. “Just walking my girl out, and I’ll be back.” Shawn answers him and pulls me closer to him. It still makes me melt every time he refers to me as his girl. I’ll never get tired of it.

We finally get out, and he walks me to the car. He opens the back door for me, but turns me around to face him before I get him. “Text me as soon as you’re home,” he tells me while cupping my face and leaning in closer to me. I shake my head in to let him know that I will, and place a quick peck on his lips before trying to turn around.

“Baby are you sure you’re ok? You haven’t said much, and you just seem kind of down. If you don’t want me to stay you can tell me. I’ll come home with you right now. You know I don’t mind. You’d tell me if someth-”

“Shawn.” I cut him off, but give him a smile. “I’m sure. I’m just a little tired. It’s been a long day, and I’m just ready to get in bed, and sleep. I want you to have fun though. Stop worrying about me. Everything’s fine.” He hesitates, but then finally says ok.

He leans in again for what I think is going to be a quick kiss, but when I go to pull away he doesn’t let me. He puts one hand on the small of my back, while the other hand cups the side of my face, pulling me in closer. His soft lips move against mine, and I feel his tongue try to make it’s way in between my lips, and I let it. We stay there for a few minutes just enjoying each other, and completely forgetting our surroundings. Finally I pull away slightly out of breath, and smile up at him. “I love you.” I tell him as I get in the care.

“I love you more.” He tells me before kissing me once more on the cheek, and then closing the car door for me. 

As soon as the door shuts, and the car pulls away a single tear falls down my face. Then another. And another. The entire car ride, I can’t stop thinking about the harsh words some of the girls had to say about me. They just keep playing over and over in my head. “How sad. She really thinks someone like her could actually be into her? Like with real feelings?” The one Girl had said to her friend. At first I wasn’t sure it was me they were talking about, but then they kept going. “I mean come on. Shawn is like a 100 out of 10. She’s like a 4 at her best.” They both laughed before one of them nudged the other to let her know I was in hearing distance. I thought they would walk away slightly embarrassed, but they just came up to me instead. “When are you going to finally realize you don’t belong in this world, and you never will?” She had asked me. “You’re pathetic. Shawn could do so much better. I really don’t get what he sees’s in you. Maybe you make him feel better about himself? It’s gotta be something along those lines, because other than that I see no reason to keep you around. You’re definitely no eye candy. You’re about 20 pounds past that hunny.” I couldn’t believe the words this girl who I had never even met was throwing at me. “Don’t worry though, he’ll come to his senses eventually you gold digging little whore.” The two girls looked at each other, then looked me up and down, then busted out laughing and walked away while I stood there, speechless unable to believe that someone could be so cruel.

BeforeI know it the car pulls up to mine and Shawn’s place, and I’m silently sobbing in the back seat. I say thank you, and make my way into the building, and up to our place. I went straight to the bathroom, and got ready for bed wanting nothing more than to just crawl into bed, and hide under the covers.

Part of me wishes I would have let Shawn come with me, but he works so hard, and is so good to me, he deserves to be happy all the time. I would do anything to make sure he is, even it means I have to be a little sad sometimes. 

I don’t know how long I lay in bed thinking about the words, and starting to believe them, but it must have been quite a while because I hear the front door open and close, and shortly after our bedroom door opens. Shawn comes in trying to be quiet, not knowing that I’m still awake. I try to make him think I’m sleeping to avoid him finding out that I had been crying. 

I feel him crawl into bed, and then his lips press against my cheek, and he must have felt the dampness from the tears because he turns the light next to the bed on. “Y/N?” he asks as he rolls me over to look at him. “What’s wrong baby?”

I don’t answer because I know that if I do nothing but sobs will come out. “Come here” he says pulling me into his chest, and that’s when I lose it. I start crying into his chest, as he rubs my back trying to reassure me that everything is ok. “Please, baby, tell me what’s wrong? I knew I should have come home with you when you left. Talk to me sweetheart.” 

I finally find it in me to tell him everything the two girls said about me, while he listened and held my hand letting me know he was listening. By the end his face showed his shock. 

“Please don’t tell me you believed any of what they said” I looked down and shrugged my shoulders. “Hey,” He placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head up to make me look at him. “You are the most beautiful girl in the entire world to me. I love every single piece of you. Do you hear me every single piece. I love the way I can talk to you about anything, and you will always be there to listen, and help me through it. I love that you never fail to make my bad days better. I love when I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I see is your beautiful face. I love getting to hear your laugh. It’s my favorite sound in the world. I love getting to stay in with you when you’re wearing one of my hoodies, and your hair is a mess, and I love when I get to take you off, and when I first see you after you’re ready I forget how to breath for a few seconds because I can’t believe how beautiful you are. I love loving you and feeling your beautiful body. The list of things I love about you doesn’t end. You might not be perfect, but you are so incredibly precious and perfect to me, and for me. and I will never stop loving you. I only wish you loved yourself as much as I love you.” By the end of his speech I’m full on crying again, but this time because I can’t believe I was lucky enough to be blessed with this beautiful boy holding me.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “For what?” he asks.

“For loving me.”

“Always baby.”

“ I love you more though.” I smile and look up at him.

He suddenly flips us over so he’s laying on top of me, putting his weight on his forearms. “No way baby. Not possible.” He says then starts kissing me all over my face. I start laughing, and then finally his lips meet mine. 

He pulls away, just looks and me for a minute before I start blushing.

“I love you.” we both say at the exact same time. He chuckles, and pulls me onto his chest. I lay my head on him, and almost immediately fall asleep, in my favorite place to be. His arms

______________________________________________________________________

Ok well I’m sorry if that was complete ass. I tried lol. It was my first one ever, what can I do? haha

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Seungmin Stray Kids

ALRIGHTY

Our lovely fluffy Seungmin

He’s lowkey becoming bias wrecker for me whoops

Let’s get started!!

During when he has a crush on you

Ohhhh boy

He’s gonna be insanely shy

It’s adorable

He’ll try to do little things to make you happy

From complementing you

To buying you something small like a key chain

But it’s always something meaningful

Something that reminds you of him

Let’s not discard the fact that anytime he actually does something like this for you

He’s gonna sprint away before you can even thank him properly

And he’ll hide somewhere so that you can’t see or hear him squeal with joy

Ok it’s official I am soft for Seungmin

You don’t really have too much doubt about him liking you

You’ve picked up remarkably fast how shy he is with you compared to when he’s with the rest of SK 

And you figured he had an ulterior motive when he happened to just “think of you” and buy something

Or when he teases you but quickly apologises and tells you he doesn’t mean it 

He’s just not very subtle 

So you’re rather upfront with him one day when you ask

“Soooo, I’ve been wondering…. why have you been so sweet to me? With all the nice gifts and stuff?”

He would immediately go red in the face

His eyes would go wide

And he’d just stand there a moment with his mouth hanging open not knowing wtf to do

And you feel kinda bad tbh

No one likes being in such an awkward situation so the way you just asked him out-of-the-blue seemed almost cruel

He finally managed to stutter out

“W-well umm…. I k-kinda… sort o-of l-like you…?”

It deadass took him a whole 30sec to finish

And you’re doing an Irish jig on the inside cause

WOOT WOOT he likes you too!!

“I really like you too, Seungmin” you say quickly before he can run off in embarrassment

He looks at you hella confused like

The person he’s liked for so freaking long likes him back?? Or is he dreaming??? Whatishappeningrightnow????

SeungminHasStoppedWorking.jpg

So you tell him where you want to hang out in the future

And there we go you’ve successfully planned your first date woohoo!!

Dates with this bean are soft and laid back

Ice cream dates

Coffee dates

Just wandering-around-for-no-reason dates

It’s so relaxing

Of course until one of you holds the other’s hand

Then it’s skyrocketing heart rates

And pink cheeks

At the end of your 2nd or 3rd date, he’d finally muster the courage to kiss you....

On the cheek haha you thought 

As you’re saying goodbye

Leaving you flustered af as he runs away yelling that he’ll text you later

I don’t think he’ll have the guts to kiss you first tho 

It’s up to you my friend

You’ll be sitting on a bench somewhere, just talking

And he just

Randomly

Pokes your cheek.

And you look at him like wtf man why

And he just turns away grinning

So you get cheeky, planning on making this sudden burst of confidence melt faster than snow in the sun

So you swoop in and peck his cheek

He blushes like crazy but he refuses to let you win

So he looks at you a moment

With a slight smirk on his face

Seriously where did all this confidence come from he was a shy child a minute ago tf?

And he kisses you right on the nose

Needless to say that surprised you

And spur of the moment

You decide you’re gonna kiss him smack on the lips

His eyes are wide as all hell

But he relaxes a split second later, kissing you back softly

You both part smiling slightly

Before he whisper-screeches, hiding his face in his hands, all embarrassed

And you also blush like crazy, also fighting the urge to run away

GAH THIS IS SO CUTE 

When he introduces you to the rest of the group

Oh

My god

It’s gonna be chaos I swear

Everyone’s gonna welcome you politely and enthusiastically

And then they’ll start poking fun at Seungmin

“AWWWW they’re so lovely! How on earth did you get them to date you??” Says Jisung

“I bet he pays them” replies Minho, cackling

“Must have been a lot of money” chipped in Changbin, enjoying himself 

All the while Seungmin makes a face like ‘this is the shit I need to put up with all the time good lord’

“Come on guys! Of course y/n didn’t agree to this for money” yells Jeongin

Seungmin is about to thank him when he finishes:

“They obviously came to meet me through Hyung” and he sprints off at top speed with Seungmin hot on his heels screaming bloody murder

“Please take care of him, y/n” Chan says quietly while the other boys guffaw at the two youngest’s behavior. “He really likes you”

And that’s exactly what you do

You guys have got each others back

No matter what

Someone tries to offend you in any way, shape or form 

And he’s there in front of you like a human shield ready to fight 

If he gets sick you’re there as quick as a flash with everything he needs, all the way from cold remedies to recipes for hot soup

While you’re making sure he’s not burning up, he’ll just whisper

“Can I just cuddle you? I swear I won’t sneeze on you”

So you just lie there holding each other the entire day

He keeps his promise and doesn’t sneeze on you btw

When you’re sick, he’s not gonna know what the hell to do

Lost puppy 

He’ll run around trying to find the right meds for you (he’ll take the time to read each label to make sure it’s the right one)

He’ll try to make soup it doesn’t work

But after a while he’ll calm down and sit with you to watch something on TV

Apologising that he couldn’t make your fav meal 

Makes up for it by buying takeout 

Man I want takeout now :(

He can sometimes feel down about the day

Something might have happened at the fansign/performance, he might feel really tired and fed up with work

So it’s your job to be there and comfort him 

You just wrap your arms around him and sit with his head on your shoulder 

And he cries silently with you, grateful that you’re with him 

Guess who’s emo while writing this

Sometimes days can get bad enough that he starts to shut you out all-together 

Seungmin isn’t the direct type 

He isn’t gonna start an argument because he’s stressed 

He’s gonna avoid any kind of conflict 

So he avoids you, ignores you, refuses to talk to you when he’s too upset 

Because he doesn’t want to lash out and hurt you 

But he’ll notice when he does this that it actually does hurt you 

Almost more than an argument would 

Because you want to help 

And he won’t let you 

So he’ll eventually come to talk to you, his head bowed and eyes glimmering with tears 

And he’ll just hug you, asking for you to forgive how stupid he can be 

RIGHT back to fluff because I don’t want to cry rn 

He loves to teach you to sing his parts in every song 

He feels you can understand his work better and be closer to him 

You two will end up sometimes randomly singing his part in a song at the top of your lungs in the dorm, in turn pissing off the rest of the boys 

You’ll both have singing competitions: who can sing the highest, lowest, longest, or most dramatically 

And you both end up collapsing from laughing too hard 

He’s gonna try to speak English around you 

Just so he can practice 

Have you heard his awesome accent during ASC that is a yes from me I don’t want to forget that 

He might ask you for help but he’s mostly too stubborn and proud to so he’ll struggle for a while until you ask if he wants a helping hand 

“Hey, need help for the pronunciation, there?” 

“Nope! Nope it’s fine! I’m fine! Toooootally fine” :D 

You two like trying to learn new recipes to cook for the rest of SK 

It’s actually super fun 

And you both manage to make a few dishes without setting the dorms on fire *applause* 

And you make breakfast for them too: fried eggs! now I’m really hungry aw man 

And the boys are already teasing you talking about how you’re couple goals and how well you two go together 

Making the both of you sprint back into the kitchen, giggling like children

Seungmin is gonna ask you to meet his family first 

But it doesn’t scare you that much 

For a good reason:

He’s an angel, so he must have been raised by angels logic

You meet them and they melt when they see you 

You chat, they share pictures of Seungmin when he was little he’s gonna be close to crying from embarrassment because “COME ON YOU JUST MET” 

His sister adores you 

Tells you about the pranks she’s pulled on her poor bro in the past 

Which warrants a death glare from Seungmin 

All in all his fam are your fam because they love you as much as they love Seungmin 

He’s a lot A LOT more nervous about meeting your parents 

He’s pretty damn close to fainting when the day to meet up comes 

Pale as sheet istg 

So you gotta be there for him to cling onto like a baby koala 

Save this boy I beg of you

Nearly hides behind you when he first greets your parents 

Basically leaps out of his skin every time someone raises their voice even a little bit 

But he gets a little calmer after a while 

And starts to genuinely smile and laugh 

By the end of the day he’s a happy squish with no sign of nervousness

Success! 

In the evenings he likes to buy a crap-ton of snacks and sit with you to binge watch your fav show 

You two will probs have a competition to see who can catch the most food in their mouth sigh 

He loves when you poke his left cheek 

He’ll act cute with you if he’s asking for something 

And it’s so freaking hard to say no damn it!!

He’ll have a fucking heart attack if he sees you wearing one of his hoodies or denim jackets like how many does he actually have??

But he’ll love it 

He’s gonna grin from ear to ear saying how cute you look 

Will not let you go throughout the night

Just wants to cling to you and snuggle you to death the entire evening 

You’ve probs already guessed that he is definitely not gonna be the first one to say ‘I love you’ 

Nah he’s way to shy and lowkey scared to 

But I bet you’re gonna do it kinda by accident 

You guys have been having a dance competition 

He’s gonna be jumping around all energetic and happy 

Because he’s having the time of his life messing around with you 

And you’ll accidentally let slip: 

“You’re such a dork! This is why I love you so much” 

And both of you stop laughing and stare at each other 

While you’re mentally going OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE 

But Seungmin suddenly screams like a little girl 

He can’t contain himself

Runs at you at full speed 

And tackles you into a bone-crushing hug 

Making you both topple over onto the floor laughing 

Without letting you go, he’s gonna say, all giddy “I love you too!!! I was scared to say it but I’m not anymore I do love youuuuuuu!!” 

And the rest of the day you’re both skipping around, making SK wonder wtf happened to the two of you

“Are they possessed or something?” -Hyunjin 

“Who even knows with those two” -Chan  

“Guess we’ll never know” -Felix, chuckling 

Half the time they don’t get at all what happens between you two lmao 

When Stray Kids are away, Seungmin’s gonna want to FaceTime you whenever he’s free 

He’s a pouty boy who misses you senseless and forgets how to function like a proper human being when you’re not around 

SK are having to tell him specifically what to do every other minute because he keeps daydreaming about when he gets to see you again smh 

He’s gonna be so.freakin.hyper on the way back from wherever the boys were 

No one wants to sit next to him on the plane because they know all he’s gonna want to do is talk about you 

And they get enough of that on a regular basis anyway 

But they’re happy at how energetic he is when they land and he can finally see you 

He’s gonna Naruto run to you and hug you so tightly whispering how much he missed you 

And you’ll be laughing like 

“It’s been two days, buddy” 

“Yeah but it feels like AGES! It’s been an eternity and I was going insane!!” 

Seungmin most likely won’t go public about your relationship until after a year to a year-and-a-half

Wants to make sure you’re 100% ok with it 

Because he knows there will be a bit probably a lot of drama on the net about you 

He’ll post a cute selfie of the two of you 

You’re both smiling happily 

And he’ll caption it: ‘Hey everyone!! This is y/n, we’ve been together for quite a while now, and I wanted to introduce you! I hope you welcome them warmly!’ 

The internet isn’t going to shut up about you for an eternity holy shit

The entire universe ships you two 

You’re the adorable smiley couple

That everyone 

And I mean everyone 

Loves to bits 

A/N: YAY! It was really fun to write about this adorable fluff ball :D 

Also, there aren’t NEARLY as many Seungmin GIFs as there should be!

Hope everyone has a lovely day!! And feel free to request anything! Ciao <3

P.S: I love this GIF so much it’s not even funny 

[thaegeiro]

ok, this is probably gonna be a complicated, rambling mess of a post, but i wanted to talk a bit about why i don’t necessarily ascribe to the whole idea of ‘frankenstein was the true monster of the story’ / ‘knowledge is knowing frankenstein wasn’t the monster, wisdom is knowing he was the monster’ / any variation of that.

now, let me preface this shit by saying i absolutely don’t think frankenstein is perfect. not by any means. he’s arrogant, he’s cowardly, he’s selfish, he’s cruel, he’s objectifying, he’s impulsive, he’s overly emotional, he has a dozen different flaws i could name. i am not at all excusing his actions or claiming he’s a perfect person. 

but i don’t... really think he’s a monster, let alone the ‘true monster’ of the story. this may purely be a personal opinion, but for me, the power of the novel is that both frankenstein and the being are very, very human, and you can see why they took all the horrible actions they did. and for frankenstein, a lot of his shitty actions come down to just basic fucking fear. does that make them excusable? absolutely not. but it does mean we can see where he’s coming from, i think. most of the time, the shitty things he does aren’t malicious, and even when they are, he sure as hell has some good reasons for being angry. 

let’s start with the first big misstep: abandoning the being. yes, that was unbelievably shitty, especially from the being’s perspective — all he knows is that frankenstein created him and then tossed him aside like trash, and his anger is very justifiable. but from frankenstein’s perspective, he panicked after a horrible, badly-thought-out decision and ran away. should he have done that? no. but he was panicking. he woke up to see a fucking eight foot tall horrific monstrosity made out of rotting corpses grinning at him and reaching for him in his bed, and yeah, he got himself into that situation, but it’s not exactly hard to see why he might panic and run the fuck out of his apartment. i’d probably do that shit, too. and then, when he came back the next day, he fell so ill that he was bedridden for over a year. trekking out to find the monster he created wasn’t exactly high on the list of priorities. 

the interpretation of that part, i think, comes totally down to perspective. from the being’s side, yeah, it’s unbelievably shitty and inexcusable: his creator made him, ditched him, did nothing to search for him, and seemingly just cast him aside entirely. but from frankenstein’s perspective, none of that is as malicious or monstrous as the being wants to have us believe. he didn’t have the conscious thought of abandoning the being — he fled in an absolute panic, and when he returned, yes, his delirious first thoughts were being glad that the being was gone, but immediately afterwards, he fell so ill that searching the being out was an impossibility. the actions were shitty and impulsive, but again, not malicious. 

then we get to his first meeting with the being, after guillaume’s death. mind you, he has no idea at this point what the being has been up to — he only knows (or suspects) that this creature has killed his younger brother, and that’s a pretty good reason to be a little pissed. he treats the being like shit when they meet, certainly, but again, all he has in his head is ‘this thing killed my baby brother.’ and yeah, he’s horrified when the being first demands a second creature and he at first attempts to refuse, but when he finally consents, why does he do it? 

“I compassionated him and sometimes felt a wish to console him... I thought that as I could not sympathise with him, I had no right to withhold from him the small portion of happiness which was yet in my power to bestow. [...] I concluded that the justice due both to him and my fellow creatures demanded of me that I should comply with his request.”

he gets that he’s been cruel. he gets that he’s been unfair. as selfish and arrogant as he is, he gets that he does owe the being at least some compassion, even if he despises him now and finds him disgusting. 

so why does he go back on it. why does he refuse to make the second creature after promising to do it? again, out of fear, not largely out of malice. perhaps there’s some malice there, in wanting to get back at the creature who killed his brother, but most of his thoughts are rooted in basic terror — and not unfounded terror, either. now, some of his fears are a bit ridiculous, like his fear that the being and the female will procreate (you’re making her, victor, you can literally just not put in a uterus, it’s not that difficult), but a lot of them are well-founded. and you know what? to be totally honest, the way he thinks about the female is a damn sight better than the way the being thinks about her. i’m not trying to objectively demonise the being, either, since i understand his reasons for acting the way he does, but the way he thinks / talks about the female is atrocious. he takes it for granted that another creature like him will automatically want to spend her life with him — frankenstein is the one that pauses to think, ‘hey, wait a minute, this woman i’m making hasn’t consented to that. she hasn’t promised anything. she’s gonna have her own thoughts and feelings and she might actually not want to be with him, so what happens if she rejects him and he gets angry over that?’ it’s a prospect that never crosses the being’s mind, but it crosses frankenstein’s, and that fear makes a hell of a lot of sense. the being has already shown that he doesn’t handle rejection (not just romantic, but familial and platonic) very well, so frankenstein has every reason to be concerned that he might lash out if this second creature — surprise, surprise — might not actually like the being. the being is thinking of her as some abstract object to which he’s entitled; frankenstein’s fears, for the most part, are based on his acknowledgment that she isn’t what the being wants her to be. she’ll be a rational, thinking creature, just like the being is, and he might actually make things a thousand times worse by bringing her into the world. 

so he destroys her before he brings her to life. and again, it’s a matter of perspective. from the being’s perspective, this is horrific. he’s spent his whole life getting rejected, abused, and mistreated, and when he asks for one thing from his creator, the one person who’s supposed to owe him something in this world, that creator goes back on his word. he has every right to be furious. it certainly doesn’t justify the actions he takes as revenge, but his anger itself is justified. but from frankenstein’s perspective, what he did makes absolute sense. he was scared, and he had every right to be. 

that ended way longer than i meant it to be, but i’ve been thinking about this for a while. it just doesn’t sit quite right with me when people claim frankenstein was ‘the true monster.’ was he a horrible father / creator? yeah, man, 100%. i’m with you there. were his actions justifiable? no, they weren’t. does he have a thousand flaws that are inexcusable and that inevitably led to his downfall? you bet. but nearly everything he did is something that we, as readers, can understand and (to some degree) sympathise with. most of the bad things he did were out of fear, misunderstanding, naivete, or panic. 

might make him an idiot, might make him a coward, but i don’t think it makes him the real monster.

[nemirutami]

Excuse me for being a weirdo who backreads people's blogs, but I had a small additional question regarding your answer to this ask here: /171315404167/ Do you also hate Alcor? If so, I'm incredibly curious to know why, since never harbored any ill will towards humanity and genuinely cared for the protagonist. (I realize I'm a little biased as I ship them together, but that's beside the point) I do agree most of the characters' motives and views were pretty selfish though.

I LOVE DESU ASKS.... AS EVIDENT BY THE VERY LONG REPLY... (SORRY!)

I’m glad ppl are reading them bc sometimes I feel like I’m yelling directly at a wall and my opinions are just bouncing right off, but I have an answer for that. 

I think the game did Alcor disservice in how he was represented. He would have benefited more from being impartial (but he isn’t impartial- and I’ll go more into detail about how he meddles to tip the scales) but I will admit anime!alcor was worse and just a sloppy attempt at making a NGE reference- but I won’t go into that because I could write an essay about how shitty the DESU2 anime is (I think everyone can- no one that played the game liked it and I can’t blame them).

The characters I actually can’t stand are: Yamato and Ronaldo. Because they’re actually the ones that actively go out and wipe out even ALLIES for their own benefit, not gonna lie- I might hate Ronaldo just a tiny bit more because of Makoto’s fate events, even if Yamato is just as bad if not worse. On top of that, they’re both awful hypocrites and unlike Yamato where I can kinda see the appeal, Ronaldo is completely unlikable. Even so, I can enjoy ships with Yamato in them. Tho I ship absolutely no one with Ronaldo because why would you evoke that kind of suffering in anyone. 

Everyone else is either bordering on annoying, bland, or just a mean spirited asshole. I feel more sympathy for Keita than I do for Hinako because at least Keita calls everyone a piece of shit, whereas Hinako seems to single out Daichi to shit on... on Daichi’s own route. Fumi also talks down to everyone, but in this case, Daichi’s just caught in the crossfire. Similar with Airi, she hates EVERYONE apparently, and will even punch Jungo. Hinako tho seems to specifically target Daichi on his route like... what the fuck is your problem? You called him an idiot twice in 1 battle Hinako holy shit, go chill??? I will never let this go because BOY was just BREATHING and she went “UGHHH YOU’RE SO STUPID” LIKE LET HIM BREATHE HOLY SHIT IS HE NOT EVEN ALLOWED THAT ANYMORE? 

Anyways, onto Alcor.

There’s a lot of plot holes and inconsistencies surrounding how the summoning app actually works (Alcor invented it after all, and gave it to us to use) and all these inconsistencies just make Alcor look bad from a writing standpoint (more of that below). He could have been a good character had he not been written poorly (Much like Yamato and... like 99% of the cast really. Even Daichi suffers from shit writing and I’ll never forgive them for this.) and had the plot not fucked him in the end and basically had him destined to die even on Daichi’s route (which sucks but is understandable since he is a septentrione) perhaps I’d have actually liked him. 

I tend to love characters that obsess with the protagonist, and they’re usually my absolute FAVORITE characters. I’m really surprised I didn’t jump on Alcor’s ship with the protag because it HAD the setting I absolutely adored for relationships to form? Especially the alien/human dynamic since I came into DESU2 right after exiting NGE so I was IN THE MOOD. Alcor in and of himself was just. Not satisfying to interact with (bored me to tears too) because of his cryptic messages that (more than anything) just waste time and bring the player nowhere unless they rank up to like 4 right before Yamato basically THROWS EXPOSITION AT YOU AND EXPLAINS THE ENTIRE PLOT ON THE 2ND LAST DAY (it’s even worse and comes even more out of nowhere if you haven’t interacted with Alcor at all in his fate events. More disservice. They should have made Alcor’s fate events more intimate and given Alcor more plot relevant lines within the plot itself instead of his events. Much like... Daichi really. They fucked up with Daichi by making his fate events more relevant to his character growth than the actual plot. I guess they did the same for Alcor but truth be told, I remember so little about Alcor because more than anything Alcor just bored me. Never quite pissed me off. Just bored me.) 

Ok, but onto the cake. The things that made me iffy on Alcor’s character in general.

Alcor supposedly gave humans fire and culture and blah blah. Already this is telling me to practice immense amounts of disbelief since it’s well documented how these things came about, but I suppose if no one actually knows the history then they can accept this at face value? I wasn’t tho. He acted responsible for it and it put me in disbelief and just made me think he sounded like an idiot. It also made him seem very arrogant, because it implied people NEEDED to be given culture, and that we just didn’t develop culture and diversity on our own. It implies we were all lifeless husks until he came along and granted it to us. Which is insulting.

The fact he’s a septentrione isn’t foreshadowed well and is very obvious from the second we see him floating and talking to other demons/septentriones since he clearly knows what they’re saying. Not really a character-specific issue. Just more problems of bad writing. “Who is he...” Daichi have you seen a HUMAN float in space like that god fucking damn it i love you but why u so duMB WHY YOU ALL SO DUMB IT’S CLEARLY EITHER A DEMON OR A SEPTENTRIONE, THE REAL QUESTION IS- WHY IS HE HELPING US?

Btw that’s another point. Why is he helping us? Oh, right, because he messed up.

He doesn’t want Yamato’s world, but he gave Yamato the power to reform society. Then, when Yamato tries to do what Alcor granted him the means to do, he’s like. Hm. Well. Shit? This guy’s a fucking psycho. Time to place my bets on the protagonist instead (which he does favor a lot- which doesn’t make him impartial really since he clearly favors explaining things more to Hibiki/Protag than anyone else in the game, and it puts everyone else at a disadvantage when a GOD LIKE ENTITY is behind the protag boosting him to make the “right” choice for humanity). I know Alcor was fascinated by humans and wanted them to live (which is fine), yet he didn’t bother to warn the MILLIONS that died (and remained dead in one of the endings- thanks Alcor) due to his negligence. Knowing about it and at least not issuing a warning is cruel. Sure, he gave people the demon summoning app, but the app was considered a “prank site” (nice advertisement, Alcor) as Daichi said at the start of the game (which i hate more than Yamato himself. Daichi. This. This idiot. This idiot signed his best friend up to a DEATH SITE just cus LOLS- the writing is bullshit, and I really disliked early Daichi, too. I disliked some of later canon-Daichi too because he was just rendered to a joke outside his Fate Events). The writing is really unfair on everyone, and it doesn’t help that the app doesn’t work the way it’s advertised to work anyways, seeing as Alcor can twist it to do what HE needs it to do at any time.

For example, the app is said to send death videos regarding people you’ve made a bond with, but clearly that’s all bullshit considering Alcor manually sends Hibiki a warning (and only Hibiki alone) of Otome’s death video so that NO ONE BUT HIBIKI CAN SAVE HER. This implies he can manipulate the death videos personally and exclude others from receiving videos. This. This is not kind. Not at all. I know he was testing Hibiki, but at THIS RISK? Losing Otome can FUCK YOUR PERFECT RUN and outside game mechanics, ELIMINATE ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. If he wanted to, he could kill characters he actually doesn’t like this way by basically not sending the videos out to people, which, if you don’t go to save Otome right away- will be the end of her. He’s putting all his bets on you alone and testing you by cutting off everyone else from the app- potentially hindering backup to save Otome. Sure, you save her but you can just as easily kill her. I can’t say this wasn’t a sleazy test because he was basically playing with Otome’s LIFE and showed no signs of remorse. Some love for humans you have Alcor. Shit dude. This isn’t kind at all.

But I guess these are my main qualms about him- at least the ones I remember- but take everything I say with a grain of salt bc I tried to avoid confrontation with him completely in my 2nd and 3rd run so I have vague memories lingering. I don’t hate him? I can actually like him if he’s written well by other people, but given how he is in the game, I can’t say I ever enjoyed interacting with him. He didn’t annoy me other than the 2 times I’ve stated above, where he basically talks down to us about how we got to our culture and how he kinda lets Otome PERISH if we don’t respond quickly enough. I know it was a test to the protagonist’s will, but aren’t the septentriones a test enough of my conviction, Alcor, honestly. Unlike Airi, Hinako, Keita, and everyone else, Alcor doesn’t annoy me at all. Io annoys me more, if not only because the game wanted Daichi to be plot relevant only for Io to get all the spotlight. Io is genuinely maybe the better written character- it’s just such a shame they flipflop on her as a lead when in any other game, she could easily have been a lead. Her love triangle kills any enjoyment I get from her at all tho and just makes me bitter. More bad writing- who would have guessed.

Tho from a shipping standpoint? You can ship Alcor with Hibiki for good reasons, obviously. There’s a clear connection and fascination there that doesn’t surprise me people flock to (because I would have been there too had they just written him better). I don’t really mind the ship itself. When I say “i don’t mind it” I just mean I don’t feel anything for it and I’d probably not draw it for myself. There are really no ships I hate or really... dislike? There’s just stuff I don’t ship, but I can definitely ship Hibiki/Alcor if it was for a plotpoint of some kind in a fic or art or whatever. It depends on the idea really. 

I guess it’s too late to say something like this so far into the post, but I like to believe that ANY ship works if the construction/buildup to it is good enough. I believe you can make any character do/say anything under the right circumstances with the right motives without it being OOC or feel out of place. I’d like to think talent is wicked like that- a double edged sword of risky ideas that can either make or break your interpretation/perception depending on how you build it up. Though, that takes effort. Something DESU2 sadly lacks in a lot of ares, but it’s still a game worth playing for the experience and I wouldn’t not recommend it for the good parts that are (while few) really, really good.

[lizzytheauthor]

First Short Story

tw; suicide mention After a guy dies, before passing on he was given the option of returning to earth and becoming a guide to the gates of the afterlife, this is an exploration of that choice.

“Where am I?”

I ask the void, as if I’m expecting a response.

“You are dead, currently in-between space-time.”

“Who said that?!”

There is someone in this void?

“Don’t be afraid, little lost soul. I am a glorified Gatekeeper, call me George.”

“Ok, George. Why do I not remember anything?”

“Because I have wiped your memory. Its for the best, really. You had killed yourself. You don’t want to remember the details. I will restore your memory when it is less traumatic for you. For now, I’ll call you A.”

“Just a letter? Wait, why? What are you on about?”

“You will be…an employee of mine. To put it simply. I ignited something in you a little early cause you went and circumvented my plan for you. It’s ok, I forgive you for messing with my plan, but don’t do it again.”

“Uh-huh, sure. What’s this plan?”

“You don’t need that many details quite yet. What you will be doing is gathering souls like yours and delivering them to me. People that have killed themselves, that is. When I return you to earth, you will have a couple new skills and senses. Some I shall leave up to you to discover, others will come naturally. Think of yourself as Charon.”

“Who?”

“Not a history buff, eh? Ah well. Doesn’t matter. You will hear my voice in your head when I tell you where to go for the next soul, don’t be alarmed when it happens.”

“And what if I refuse? What if I don’t want to do this?”

“Well, you absolutely do, I know you. But if you didn’t, then I would just send you along to the afterlife. That is always an option available to you.”

“Ok, that sounds a little more reasonable. How long am I supposed to do this?”

“Until I don’t need you, or until you want to move on. That’s enough questions now. Try not to do anything stupid while you are down there, I have a reputation to uphold.”

Before I can even ponder what he means by that, there’s a flash of light and I’m in the middle of Time Square. “Ok, so you should be able to hear me like this.” Ah the inside my head thing, ok. That is a little freaky. “Yea, yea, the first soul should be landing next to you in a minute.” What, then why am I right here? “He’s going to run.” Why? “Why does anyone run? They are afraid. His name is Steve Freigh, he is leaving behind a wife, 4 kids, and a girlfriend. He is killing himself because he was just told that his boss found out about his embezzling, and he is going to go to prison.” Ok then, lemme get warmed up-

-THUD-

THAT IS GROSS. Ugh. I got some on me.

“What, why am I still here?”

That must be him.

“It is ok, everything is fine. You just gotta come with me and I”

“No, NO. YOU AREN’T TAKING ME TO PRISON! I CAN’T GO THERE!”

And he’s off. Time to chase, he is pretty fast for an embezzling business man. It’s strange, as I run I don’t feel like I’m losing any breath. Is this a perk to the job? Cutting through an alley is risky, it could be a, yep. Dead end.

“End of the line, dude.”

“What are you going to do to me?” “Nothing. You don’t have to keep hiding. You’re not going to prison. Just move on.” And with that he just fizzles into nothingness? Anticlimactic. This doesn’t seem like a hard job. I can do this.

“Alright, your next job.” Whoa, can’t get used to hearing voices. “This one is an older one. She pulled her own plug, she is leaving behind a massive family. She killed herself because she wanted to die on her terms, and she was already 93. She said she had her fill of life.” Well alright, at least she won’t run away from me.

This is the place? A mansion? Must have been nice. I wonder if I lived in a mansion when I was alive the first time. I feel like I had a small family. I’ll just walk in through the front door. “Uh, who are you?” Uh-oh. I can be seen? Shit.

“Uh, my car broke down a mile back, can I use your phone?”

I’m so thankful this mansion is in the middle of nowhere.

“Uh-huh. Sure. I don’t trust a person that just lets themselves into a place.” “Look, I was knocking for like 10 minutes, and this place looked deserted. I didn’t realise people were still living here, I’m sorry.”

Does this work?

“Look, just don’t kill us and we’re golden, here’s the landline.”

“Thanks man, I’ll be out of your hair in like, 5 minutes I promise.”

“Alright.”

Is he just gonna stand there? “Go on, make your call.” Oh no, he’s smart. Of course he wouldn’t leave me alone.

“Uh, do you mind if I just take this outside?” “Not at all, that’s just a $40 handset, so you won’t get much if you steal it.”

Ok, great. Now how do I get to the spirit?

“Hey, you seem to be figuring out your powers slower than the others.” There are others? “Yes, you can turn yourself into a spirit to go collect hers.” How? “You just have to feel it.” What does that even mean? Hello? Ok, on my own.

“This spirit took you way too long to acquire.” “Look, death dude, I’m trying my best.”

“A whole day to get a soul that didn’t even move.” “Look, figuring out how to feel to become a spirit is hard.”

“I had 3 other employees learn how to do it before you, and they became my employees after I told you what to do.”

“Just send me off to my next case already.” “You’re pretty gutsy talking to me like that. You’re next case is a young adult lady. She is leaving behind her boyfriend, her baby, and 2 cats.” “Ugh, I don’t like these parts. I like the part where they are happy.”

“She actually isn’t even doing it herself, she is killing herself because she is being mentally controlled by another person.” “Is there anything that we can do to stop that? It’s not fair to her!”

“She is part of the plan. I already intend on making her similar to you. Have no fear. Bring her to me, though.”

I don’t get why I have to bring them to him. I don’t even do anything, they just fizzle. Agh, that’s gruesome, I didn’t have to see that.

“Hey, is there a Lizzie, here?” “Are you the person who did this to me?”

“No, from what I’ve been told though, that person does get what’s coming to him.” “Then who are you?” “My name is A. I work for a person that would like to offer you a job. He might take your memory away though.” “I think I’d prefer that, anyway.”

Hm. I wonder...

“Your next case is a little heavy. A 13 year old kid this time. He is leaving behind a sister, a mom, a step mom, a dad, and a step dad. As well as about 5 close friends.”

“Can you tell me how, and why?”

“He hung himself from his ceiling fan, he had been battling depression since he was 4.”

“Ok.”

This one is in Jersey this time. I’ll teleport outside the house this time, last time didn’t go so well.

Ah, what a quaint house. I’ll just turn into a spirit real quick and head in. Hello normal humans, I will just let myself in. Don’t mind me, just floating around. Kitchen seems nice, very small house though.

“Hey George, where is he?”

“Who are you?” The voice moused out from down the stairs, got it.

“My name is A, what’s yours?”

“If we are going by letters, B.”

He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“I feel cold. I don’t want to be here anymore. Can you please take me away?”

“Of course. Do you have any questions?”

“Why don’t they love me?” “Ah, well I’m sure they do...”

“Why did I do to make them hate me so much? I tried so hard. I tried so hard to make everyone like me. I didn’t deserve to get hit.” Hit?

“Sometimes people in this world can be cruel. I’m so sorry you had to endure that.”

“It’s not fair! I never asked to be born! I didn’t do anything wrong. Why did I get punished?”

Oh no, I need to calm him down or it’s gonna get bad.

“Hey, everything is ok now. You aren’t going to be hurt by her anymore.”

I grab his hand, he bursts into tears.

“Why does nobody love me? All I wanted was to be happy. Why was that so wrong?”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Gotta get him out of here. Maybe he has a comfortable spot.

“Is there anywhere you’d like to see? Anywhere you’d like to be right now?”

Through tears he manages to get out, “I always wanted to see the world. I’ll never get a chance now.”

Regret. I really feel for the kid. I wonder if I’d be allowed to...Well, it’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

“How about this, I won’t send you off quite yet. You can stick by me for a little bit, and we can see the world together. How does that sound? Just good old AB.”

“AB?”

“Yea, you said your name is B, right? Well together, we make one whole ab.”

That managed to get a small smile. What did these people do to him? Hey, George, is this alright? “It would be inhuman to say no. Have fun with a little vacation, but we have much work to do when you are done. You have one month.”

I promise that was the best month that kid ever saw.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know that you are not alone. There are resources for help:

Call 1-800-273-8255 – Suicide Hotline