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#we are both well in to our 20s at this point stg
aprill-99 · 9 months
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Every once in a while I am once again forced to confront the fact that my older sister is intermittently Twitter famous for making hockey players feel bad. Then she starts planning to move to Buffalo with her cats and declares herself a comedic genius prevented from her dreams by the simple lack of $700K, which, same…
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sarahlynnirl · 2 years
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✨personal post aka the lore✨
well me and b yk yk😏 on Friday and i was really nervous like honestly we were both a little awkward about it the ❄️ was really strong and idkk he’ll always make me nervous🥺simp moment but he isss my celebrity crush so when we start up our whatever again I always get a little flustered and freeze up and like he takes off his shirt in front of me and I’ll literally be scared to look directly at me him because once I start I feel like I’ll never stop staring #simp4life
But idk he asked me to cuddle first he wasn’t just like “so…wanna fuck?” like it was sweeet and stg he knows what he’s doing when he’ll like gently hold my head and kiss the top of my head a bunch of times while I’m sucking dick and like look at me with so much love. And then obvi once we started fucking I relaxed and let go of the nervousness and he had to hold a pillow over my mouth at one point ughhh🤤
And then he had to leave for weekend jail I was straight cheeeesin the whole walk home feeling 20 again type shit but then on Saturday ben mailed me presents and one of them was a green xan which I couldn’t resist doing while hanging with sky and I forgot how good and calming it feels. Like yeah ngl I was stressing a little, got flooded w hella dopamine oxytocin all the stupid love & lust chemicals and then I can’t even talk to him and I’m worried about how he’s doin in there. I don’t wanna pull a whole rue and Jules “when’d you relapse” “the night you left” but damn I totally did
Was barred out ln debated texting him, thankfully held back and just vented my feelings to Ethan. Ethan said he very likely wouldn’t have his phone in weekend jail and I briefly considering asking rob if he got to keep his phone and also if he ever got lonely at night in there. Realized I was pretty high and was like hey bestie maybe sending that message is not the move. Woke up and realized that was obvi the right call considering 1 it was the weekend so he prob didn’t even HAVE his phone and 2 he’s not a “let’s talk about our feelings” type homeboy like Ethan so he woulda been like “do I ever get lonely? Val wtf” 😂
Sooo I grabbed another 3 green bars from Tweez today :/ it’s like I wanna be clean but I also wanna actually enjoy my life and not feel like shit all the time. I want a doctor to actually care about me so I could be honest and be like look I don’t wanna be an addict copping street bars and screwing up my life but I’m in so much pain while off benzos and I need to work out a plan that gives me a better quality of life. I just wanna see b when he gets out and since I’ll be on xan actually RELAXX around him, cuddle up, laugh, kiss him first, not be so nervous. I deserve that like bro….why am I a worthless junkie for wanting to enjoy. my. life.
So anyway it’s now Sunday night I’m hoping he gets out early tomorrow morning so before I fall asleep I wanna send a cute (but not so cute to the point that I come off smothering clingy bitch) text for him to see in case he gets out before I wake up. Bro like. I shouldn’t be jumping through hoops and trying to stuff down my feelings to be what he wants or needs rn while just ignoring what I want or need but….I love him. I’ve always loved him. I will always will love him.
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joyseuphoria · 4 years
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She hated how much she liked him now
Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!
The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!
You can read it here or on ao3
THE CURLY SQUAD
(Tuesday 16:00)
Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up
Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?
Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will
Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh
jamie finally asked lily on a date
Peter Pettigrew: Wait what
Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej
when 
how 
tell me everything 
Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date
voila 
Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black
or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 
Sirius Black: empty threats
if u really wanna know u can go ask em
(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)
Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 
_____________
THE CURLY SQUAD
(Tuesday 17:00)
Jamie Potter: good riddance 
thx marls 
Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon
now spill 
Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)
Lily Evans: that she does;)
Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl
(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)
Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 
Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy
I didn't like it
Jamie Potter:.........thx??
Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie
_________
THE CURLY SQUAD 
(Tuesday 17:34)
Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!
__________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Wednesday 16:30)
Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?
Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)
Mary Macdonald: hell yeah
Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc
Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius
tho ik its a foreign concept to you
Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously
And of course I wanna spy on them
Remus Lupin: but still...yes
Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds
YAAY
Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 
Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??
Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up
Remus Lupin: how did u know that?
Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno
Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 
Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?
Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them
Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd
Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you
I’m her best friend
Sirius Black: prove it
Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!
Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)
Marlene Mckinnon: shit
Mary Macdonald: …...fair
___________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Thursday 19:45)
Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 
Lily Evans: ik u cant 
Jamie Potter: 
Lily Evans: <3
;)
______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 
(Thursday 19:48)
Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 
lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!
what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!
(Message read at 19:49)
______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Thursday 19:51)
Jamie Potter: :D
_______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Friday 16:30)
Jamie Potter: u ready?
Lily Evans: yes ! 
wher r u
Jamie Potter: cool
just reached ur door
______________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:30)
Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 
its only me and marlene here
Mary Macdonald: just outta class 
be there in 10
Remus Lupin: home
Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream
Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?
Remus Lupin: me too pls pete
Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too
mint chocolate chip for me pls
Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??
Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!
Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc
Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!
also charcoal ice cream pls
just as black as my soul
Peter Pettigrew : ...k
U marls??
Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx
____________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:45)
Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?
theyll b here any sec
Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here
except for u and marlene
where tf r u guys?!!???
Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 
where tf r u guys????
Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here
Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?
Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 
Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!
Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?
why?
Sirius Black: to dress up ofc
Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?
lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this
and v cant afford that!!!!
Remus Lupin: that is smart….
didnt expect it from u both
Sirius Black: fuck you remus
fuck you
Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??
Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 
a gily suit
a moon suit
rat whiskers and ears
a tree hat and glasses
and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend
Dorcas Meadowes: ………….
Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw
Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here
 Sirius Black: remy how could u
Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 
i thought u loved me
Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?
Remus Lupin: also sirius 
do u really think that we can pull it off?
itd be tooo obvious 
Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them
Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened
do you think that theyll realise that its us???????
Remus Lupin: …...point
Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 
marls gonna wear the gily suit
the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 
Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 
and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)
____________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:55)
Sirius Black: ok now positions!
marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 
nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside
Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???
Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously
Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 
Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??
Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 
ever heard of privacy?
Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!
Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?
Sirius Black: thank u dorcas
Mary Macdonald: yeah!
exactly 
Remus Lupin: …………
i give up 
Peter Pettigrew: Just now?
Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/
Sirius Black: that was a good laugh
___________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 17:04)
Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 
Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together
Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!
Sirius Black: yes
and yes they look perfect 
our ship is finally sailing 
Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose
Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus
Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more
Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?
Sirius Black: lolol
the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks
Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills
Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????
im ur girlfriend!!!
Mary Macdonald: lolololol
she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol
Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same
i thought she had more sense than that
Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know
Sirius Black: u would know
Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!
neat
Mary Macdonald: lily did it too
Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 
Remus Lupin: ya think?
u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie
Sirius Black: nah she didnt 
if anything lily hates how much she likes her now
Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?
Sirius Black: yeah ig
jamie wants it to be all fancy
Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup
Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup
Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em
Thought she wouldn’t today
At least
Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one
Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol
Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 
Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome
Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!
and including taylor’s song
shehgeueytoaknd
Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 
Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months
:/
Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it
Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it
Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 
Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other
Sirius Black: lol
Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here
Sirius Black: spinach soup???
ewww jamie 
Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig
Awesome choice 
Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things
smh
___________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 17:16)
Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?
we ordered a lasagna 
Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 
ohhh look 
Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY
Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??
Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no
Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute
Remus Lupin: lol
Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date
Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 
Remus Lupin: or come here with us
Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then
Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah
It was quite a rough time for her
Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss
I have a question 
Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 
Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?
I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much
Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete
Sirius Black: LOLOLOL
Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 
Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so
None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 
Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi
u r ace
dorcas nd mary r pans
remus is gay
jamie is lesbian 
Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 
u already knew that but still
Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 
Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow
Ok
Thanks guys 
Sirius Black: np pete 
Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!
Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect
Sirius Black: nauseating more like
Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off
Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily
even first fits in the category 
Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!
Bold
Sirius Black: is that…...snep
Remus Lupin: snep?????
Dorcas Meadowes: Where
Sirius Black: behind u guys
Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK
Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date
Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….
Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit
Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright
Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig
Mary Macdonald: yup hes in
Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD
COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!
Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/
Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon
Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf
Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?
Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?
Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant
oh we r playing call remus wrong names 
sry I didnt realise
 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do
Sirius Black: LAMES
Remus Lupin: but i had to lol
i think v should go stop him from disturbing them
Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way
its too late
Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them
Sirius Black: ill tackle him 
Marlene McKinnon: perfect
Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too
not that im worried abt that
tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 
Sirius Black: v shld go
Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves
But ok!
Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 
Sirius Black: but im their best friend
Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking
Sirius Black: NOOOOOO
Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name
Sirius Black: seems that way
if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it
Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….
Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know
Sirius Black: ok im gonna go
Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??
Sirius Black: lol yes
Marlene Mckinnon: is he
is he pointing over to us
Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us
Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?
Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid
_________
“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 
“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 
“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 
Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”
“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 
“Marlene,” Lily warned. 
“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 
“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.
“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.
“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 
Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 
“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 
“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”
“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”
“Lily, please.”
Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 
 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 
Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 
“I...“ Lily began.
“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”
“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 
“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 
“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 
“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 
The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 
“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 
Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.
“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”
“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 
Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 
“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”
“So we would be incognito, Mary”
“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.
“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 
“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 
“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 
“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 
“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 
“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 
“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 
“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 
34 notes · View notes
incarnateirony · 5 years
Text
S15 Spec/Discussion
So when the SPHT came out we all got to talking and I had some Thoughts(tm). Some of it is wildly speculatory but potential and interesting. I love the thinkie beans in my server. 
I love our little roundtable of speculation and meta that routinely crops up, sometimes I feel like we should record it and make a podcast.
Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:34 PM
IM YELLING SO MUCH YELLING “you cant do this to the fans!” “i can do anything. im a writer.” FUCKING CHILLS
Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:36 PM
Jared's evil smirk has murdered me
Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:38 PM
yesssss
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:38 PM
So we have Sam in a white suit MoC
Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:38 PM
btw chucks lame ending is hilarious
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:38 PM
The colt
CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM
THAT WAS A THIng
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:39 PM
G L O R I F I E D F A N B O Y
CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM
I came out of aladdin to that
Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:39 PM
IM SCREAMING
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:39 PM
Adam and most likely Michael taking in a diner Talking
CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM
Psfuck what anybody says the new aladdin is amazing
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:39 PM
Scruffy endverse Dean
CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM
I jave never Ever Seen such masterful seaming of cartoonverse cgi To real actorsHoly fuck me
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:40 PM
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT ALADDIN RIGHT NOW
Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:40 PM
LMAO
CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM
I CAN DO BOTH LOOK
Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:40 PM
I AGREE ABOUT ALADDIN
CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I WISH I WENT TO THAT SHIT HIGH
Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:41 PM
but JARED SMIRK IS MURDERING MEI CAN'T STOP LOOKING BACK AT THE VIDEO FOR IT
CastielYesterday at 9:41 PM
Yeah i intend to watch on pc when i canIm mobile rn
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:41 PM
And of course the crypt door being held shut with a screwdriver As direct14.10 parallel
CastielYesterday at 9:41 PM
Like we literally just left aladdin hence the yelling Yes yes Ive got him Im the cage Etc
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:42 PM
GlorifiedFanboy Is that not what I said friggin months ago?!
CastielYesterday at 9:42 PM
On brand a+ dean from whoever wrote that Ill guess Bobo or buckner For glorified fanboy line
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:43 PM
What? Do they read our tweets?
Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:43 PM
lol
CastielYesterday at 9:43 PM
Bobo reads mine a lot?
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:43 PM
I stg I heard that line and almost screamed
CastielYesterday at 9:43 PM
I never did upload his nerdy video to me in hindsight
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:44 PM
Interesting that they didn't use a single shot of Alex
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:44 PM
No AlexAt all
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:44 PM
So it's not gonna be just a hallucination with burnt out eyes No Billie either
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:45 PM
No empty
CastielYesterday at 9:45 PM
No its full on chuck villain framing its my sound of war vid with s15 footage dhdhdhd
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM
Yeah well it all blended into inky black at the end But that's hardly conclusive
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:46 PM
True
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM
Since that happens a lot in trailers
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:46 PM
Maybe that’s for later in the season Or Maybe it’s a big secret
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM
10 bucks says they abandoned the Cas deal And that's the hill I die on
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:47 PM
Bc that’s how they fight Chuck? They can’t abandon that already It’s too fresh
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM
To me it read as a gateway to the Empty getting Jack
CastielYesterday at 9:48 PM
Placing bets now. Ep 1-3 is deancas tension over mary and jack and feeling distanced from the winchesters leaves eps 4 and 5. We know he works with sam at least briefly in 6. Deancas reunion in 7 midseason scheduled for 8 or 9. Deancas resolution then
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM
Before they knew for sure
CastielYesterday at 9:48 PM
Midseason finale whatever theyre keeping in the door
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM
That it was their final season To possibly stretch the plot accordeon
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:49 PM
Maybe final battle is with the empty and not chuck
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:49 PM
But now they've lost the need for a middle man ie Cas Nah
CastielYesterday at 9:49 PM
Id need more than a promo trailer to figure out if resolving cas is midseason or endgame
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:49 PM
Is amara coming back?
CastielYesterday at 9:49 PM
Yes
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM
Dabb confirmed it's early
CastielYesterday at 9:50 PM
And deans weird old friend
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:50 PM
She wasn’t there either
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM
Yeah 15.02 I think Or 04? Very early
CastielYesterday at 9:50 PM
Its as much a mood piece as a trailer
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM
Was that Becky talking to Chuck?
CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM
Yes
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:51 PM
I think so
CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM
You cant do this to the fans
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM
ITS GLORIOUS
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:51 PM
It sounded like her
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM
It’s her
CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM
We knew she was coming back Well
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM
Yea
CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM
Speculated educatedly
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM
I’m so mad! I was just about to go to bed!
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM
When even the crazed fangirl looks sane by comparison
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM
And they dropped this
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM
Yeah I’ll never sleep now
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM
I HAVE TO
CastielYesterday at 9:52 PM
Like
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM
Nah I'll head to bed in a few
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM
No. No sleep
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM
I’ve gotten no sleep the past three days
CastielYesterday at 9:52 PM
Points if they still frame it for a swipe at the bronlies like all the other becky jokes
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM
I find the fixation on the fan angle a bit weird
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM
Yaaaaassssss
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM
It seemed framed that way to me Min
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:53 PM
All the bronly jokes pls
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM
But maybe I’m just reading it with my own bias
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM
But it's only 2 pieces of Chuck dialogue so
CastielYesterday at 9:53 PM
Yeah
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:54 PM
And he’s a melodramatic fuck
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:54 PM
I’ll forever want to refer to him as “glorified fanboy” Put it on a shirt
CastielYesterday at 9:55 PM
God imagine chuck bringing back kevin as his prophet to take down his word as the gospel of winchester is designed to end only in being felled, and only by the glory of god. He cant finish off his own book to print the new gospel
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:56 PM
Here to say fuck you chuck
CastielYesterday at 9:57 PM
What if we big bounce and he dubs adam the new michael since we saw jack. Can convert humans to angels
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:57 PM
Megalomaniacal Michael?
CastielYesterday at 9:58 PM
Kicking down the castles in his own sandbox as revelations told before, before men found the new gospel of the glory of god. Revelations might not be a prophecy. It may be history.
Lissa JoYesterday at 9:59 PM
Interesting
CastielYesterday at 9:59 PM
Wildly speculatory and just playing but
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:00 PM
Oh the adam Michael idea
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:01 PM
I'm very glad about Chuck being in early episodes Adam is 100% gonna be Michael Cause all the summaries made it sound Like they weren't utilizing him
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:03 PM
It does sound like OG Michael is gonna be a real issue and it makes sense for it to be Adam
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:03 PM
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CastielYesterday at 10:09 PM
WHICH THEY MYSTERIOUSLY PLUGGED AT THE END OF THE SEASON
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM
Yeah but he'd still be Adam and not Michael Just
CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM
if michael is useless to chuck as is, which he may or may not have been lying about MAKEA NEW
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM
Archangel Adam
CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM
MICHAEL YES
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM
Oh Doesn't fit with the pic above tho
CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM
Find another Eve. Oh look universal big bounce and I have a new mythology jazz hands Or better a Lilith Also this is literally unstoppable force immovable object logic if chuck can't destroy the human soulzapping the winchesters to death is just a stall game of exhausting futility they've proven they will inevitably doorkick down every afterlife or wherever they're cycled to what if there's like a hilariously extreme mystery spot where you see mini adventures out of whatever afterlife but eventually justtruncated to ridiculous extremes Chuck: -_-
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:18 PM
Like that's a given with all the scattered bits. Either Lucifer Sam and MoC Dean etc become big plot points Or they're part of Redux Mystery Spot
CastielYesterday at 10:18 PM
side eyes hidden mytharc uh
CastielYesterday at 10:18 PM
I really hope we didn't get the MOC Dean thing too close rip
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:19 PM
Why did you have to connect those two promo subplots for meW h y
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:20 PM
Also Cas next to that burnt up body I hope it isn't just Victim Of The Week
CastielYesterday at 10:20 PM
I'm wondering about the "arrogant betrayal" promo line on ep... 3 is it?
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM
Yeah
CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM
Is it gonna be meaningful or is this like
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM
Nah
CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM
bringing back Sergei
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM
PR vagueblog
CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM
from his Byzantium bullshit
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM
The BL ep is 15.02 tho
CastielYesterday at 10:22 PM
authors sometimes soak up impact of -- oh no
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:22 PM
What
CastielYesterday at 10:23 PM
okay so let's pretend say, bobo or whoever wanted to finish up buckleming's plot point, or at least partially since it's the tie up season, but they knew they had to write misha out for a few episodes and with deancas tensions driving Cas away already, throwing out a Going For Revenge That Will Backfire spin before storming out for a few eps
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:24 PM
But then it would be Dean not being able to forgive the "betrayal"It's gotta be something else Watch it be like
CastielYesterday at 10:24 PM
the betrayal vague blog is about sergei in that thing
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:24 PM
Kevin working for Chuck
CastielYesterday at 10:24 PM
it's the phrasing "arrogant" that catches me
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:25 PM
Most vague summaries hardly fit the actual plot points anyway It's just to sound mysterious
CastielYesterday at 10:25 PM
no but it would be easier to simply not apply an adjective "Castiel deals with a betrayal" is still vague
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:25 PM
Yeah but adjectives give oomph
CastielYesterday at 10:26 PM
arrogant is an odd idea for even the vague bloggiest vague blogger to tilt towards after skimming the content so I really doubt it's like kevin being forced to betray them or something like thatso unless it's about chuck himself, unlikely just too early for that level of RAAA
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:28 PM
Oh right didn't Misha say Cas struggles with this new Chuck reveal
CastielYesterday at 10:28 PM
well yeah thats kinda a duh
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:28 PM
I think the arrogant betrayal is in reference to Chuck
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:29 PM
So maybe it's just oddly phrasing that Yea
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:29 PM
It’s a kinda weird phrasing imo
CastielYesterday at 10:29 PM
like on the one hand cas knows Chuck isn't father of the year so I think on a personal level it's not surprising, it's more the existential level for him previously chuck was a shit dad that was just trying his best in a world far too easy to do his worst, even as god, thinking he was generally trying to be inherently good
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:30 PM
I hope Megatron comes back :)
CastielYesterday at 10:30 PM
that last scrap of faith is also kind of critically attached to his very existance because if god is evil and part of this cruel design what has his entire pre-winchester existence been, and even waxing and waning through it in his time with them
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:31 PM
Yeah I think deep down part of his core sense of self is the idea that he comes from the side of good
CastielYesterday at 10:31 PM
the fundamental loss of "god is good" is kinda quantifiably huger to him, whereas the humans more will have to grapple with "What is free will, did we ever have it"
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:31 PM
And this rips that away
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:32 PM
Unrelated but the promo sorta Nulls the early human Cas idea
CastielYesterday at 10:32 PM
yeah I noticed that, but it was odd
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM
Yeah I agree
CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM
i'm putting down at least foreshadowing then
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM
Unless they pulled all of the Misha footage From like ep 1 and 2
CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM
or chuck playing with the light switch for shits and giggles
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM
He does still have that shotgun
CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM
we know cas has his coat back in like
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM
Watch Cas come back from his sabbatical
CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM
idkwe've seen him with it back
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM
With his grace ripped out
CastielYesterday at 10:34 PM
put it in a karambit i mean what
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM
Snort
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM
NOT SURE MISHA CAN HANDLE THAT Like on a pure choreography level
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM
Are you suggesting Misha isnt grace itself?For shame
Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:35 PM
Not at all COUGH He has a cat-like agility
Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:35 PM
LIKE A CAT
CastielYesterday at 10:38 PM
KSJDFksjdf I think younger misha could have but knowing he's always at risk of blowing out his hip probably not so much now like I feel that limitation in my soul
GarthToday at 6:17 AM
Okay so I don't think Amara is a made up character. I think she is Chuck's sister for real (or whatever they claim as siblings) but he used his story to trap her. Help fuel his plot.
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:17 AM
Like to me personally the option of Amara being made up has the best potential for an IC Chuck plot twist Esp since I still hold the idea that he lied about the universe going splat with his death"Writers lie"/"I'm a writer, I can do anything"
GarthToday at 6:18 AM
Well he did admit he's a liar rubs hands together This is gonna be so much fun
Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:19 AM
GOD THAT LINE THO
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:19 AM
And that would be a Dabb level retroactive canon ramification Which is sorta his thing
GarthToday at 6:19 AM
Mwahahahaha and he said said to Becky while she went on about "you can't do this to the fans!"
Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:19 AM
they make sense at least
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:20 AM
But I'm not sure they wanna go the route of Stripping a female character of her entire agency for male pleasure But I don't see a whole lot of options on how they take Amara out of the playing field Unless Chuck deadass eats her for the joint Godhead
GarthToday at 6:21 AM
Honestly he just might
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:22 AM
But that's like DBZ power level bullshit
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:26 AM
AU!Dean who's a baddy pls
GarthToday at 6:26 AM
Damn trailer successfully tripping us up
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:27 AM
Deadass just have pull the jackass from the 5.04 reality Maybe that's why Lucifer Sam is tied to a chair as well Like Chuck just put him in white clothes to paint a big target for endverse!Dean And it's actually just Sam
Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:28 AM
yeah that was my thought too
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:28 AM
BUT THAT IS THE SORTA SPECC THAT'S USUALLY TOO VAGUE FOR ME ALREADY And was that Singer Salvage?
GarthToday at 6:28 AM
We're just throwing things out there and laughing It looked like it might be
Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:29 AM
BEN JUST LET LOOSE BUD ITS OK
GarthToday at 6:29 AM
But the new building is throwing it off
Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:29 AM
THE CRACKIEST SPEC THE BETTER
GarthToday at 6:29 AM
Something else could have been built thoIt's been yrs
Dean WinchesterToday at 6:29 AM
LOOK MY WHOLE THING IS DOING ANALYSES BY GATHERING EVIDENCE THAT SUPPORTS MY ARGUMENT IT'S SEARED INTO MY BRAIN More cage imagery
12 notes · View notes
jbuffyangel · 6 years
Text
Blessed: Arrow 7x13 Review (Star City Slayer)
It may be difficult to form coherent thoughts right now because of all the screaming, but I shall do my level best fam because WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Warning: gif explosion ahead.
Let’s dig in...
Olicity and Mia Smoak
OLIVER AND FELICITY ARE HAVING A BABY 
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AND IT’S A GIRL
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AND SHE GROWS UP TO BE KAT MCNAMARA FROM SHADOWHUNTERS
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I AM DYING Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WE’VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS DAY!!!!!!
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WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!!!!
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Of course, there are plenty of other things to discuss in the episode and we’ll get to it, but right now I want to bask. 
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This reveal was EPIC. 
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It actually exceeded my expectations because I didn’t think we’d get all the goodies all at once. “Star City Slayer” is basically my Christmas Wish List and Beth Schwartz just put delightful rainbow colored check marks after each request.  *falls to knees to worship Beth*
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We knew Arrow was dropping a bomb because Kat McNamara gave us all a heads up in her promotional press tour for “Star City Slayer.” But it’s wasn’t just one bomb. It was several.
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First, Felicity is alive which DUH. 
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This reveal felt fairly perfunctory and it tells me the Arrow writers didn’t really expect us to believe Felicity was truly dead because, as I always say, they ain’t that crazy. You do not throw out the lightning in the bottle. You keep the lightning in the damn bottle for as long as you possibly can until she starts screaming to get out and you are absolutely forced to let her go otherwise you’ll be charged with kidnapping.
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But was I laughing my ass off at all the antis who thought this was their year and Felicity was truly dead? You’re damn right I did. SUCK IT HATERS!!!!
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Everything was revealed to us in the last three minutes of the show, which felt like the writers throwing a confetti and glitter bomb at us in a dark hole. 
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AND I WILL TAKE IT. Please and thank you. 
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We already had a mountain of evidence Mia is Olicity’s daughter, but there are extremely big hints throughout the episode telling us exactly where we are headed.
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There is an absolutely beautiful transition from Felicity’s face in the darkness to Mia’s face.  In fact, Felicity’s face almost melts into the Mia’s, so it is pretty damn clear Gregory Smith (the director) is trying to draw a substantial connection. These kinds of shots are important guys. This is how Arrow Arrows. Transitions, cuts, focused shots – it’s all trying to tell the story visually. When Arrow cannot give us the answer directly then they will drop crumbs the size and weight of anvils.
Dinah and Zoe are using Felicity’s Archer program to find where she planted the bombs, but thus far haven’t been able to locate them. Roy believes Felicity could have hid the bombs in the old, but still secret, Team Arrow bunker. But of course we know two people who are already in the bunker!
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Mia and JJ tranquilize everyone, tie them up, and begin the interrogations. I like these kids. They’re nifty.
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Mia wants the codes to the Archer program from William so she can find Felicity. Nobody questions Mia’s ability to kick William’s ass, least of all William, so he doesn’t last long. He also wants Mia to stop hitting Zoe. Awww… this is the Arrow equivalent of these kids playing Legos together.
Mia tells William Felicity is alive. It’s unclear if Mia knows because she has actual proof or if this is more a gut feeling type of thing. Either way it’s significant. Felicity’s circle of trust is pretty limited in the future. If she trusts Mia then she is incredibly important to Felicity. The only other person Felicity has reached out to for help was William, her son, and she sent him to get Roy, the brother-in-law (I’m just calling it like I see it).  QUEEN FAMILY REUNION!!!!
This whole “Felicity is evil” angle is total crap too. Toss that nonsense out the window.
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I think Felicity, Mia and JJ are trying to stop the destruction of Star City by infiltrating the Glade because Rene’s Chief of Staff is evil. Even if I’m wrong about plot points I am not wrong about Felicity being one of the good guys.
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Mia can’t quite figure William out and the feeling is mutual. 
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William not a vigilante like Zoe, but finds himself embroiled in this bomb plot.
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The differences between the two aren’t difficult to see. Mia is street and William is luxury condos. William is tech and Mia is Krav Maga. William is gentle and Mia is punch first ask questions later. To say these two come from different worlds is an understatement and yet they find themselves circling around each other. 
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She mistakes his interest in Felicity as romantic and we all gagged right along with William.
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Mia’s reaction to Felicity being William’s step mother was a massive tell, which means Oliver isn’t the only one in the family with a terrible poker face.  
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Source: plotbunnyshipper
It was similar to Mia’s reaction when William told her Felicity was dead. 
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There is a person who cares under that hard exterior. There is someone who loves under all that pain. Sounds like someone else we know doesn’t it?
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Oliver made his famous chili tonight, which is something the comic canon nuts have been after for years. But Arrow is going to put their spin on it. The comic canon folks will get their chili, but Oliver is making it for Felicity and William (and not LL like they want and ridiculously still believe they’ll get). It was two spicy for William, but Felicity was having seconds because SHE IS INCUBATING THEIR LOVE CHILD!!!!
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Source:  lucyyh
Stan the Fan, who was fantastically creepy, put some kind of drug in the chili to paralyze Oliver, Felicity and William. They went to the hospital and Felicity commented on the “mountains of blood” staff took to confirm there were no lasting effect.
DID SHE SAY BLOOD TEST? 
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I didn’t jump off the ground quite yet at this point. It was a fairly offhand remark from Felicity and I wasn’t sure if they’d reveal she was pregnant at the same time they confirmed Mia’s identity. I know I know. It makes complete sense to do it at the same time, but since when does Arrow ever make complete sense? I was being cautious.
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And then all the bombs drop. 
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Source:  oliverxfelicity
Felicity gets a call from the hospital regarding her blood test and SHE’S PREGNANT!  THIS IS WHEN THE SCREAMING STARTED!!!!
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We immediately cut to the flash forwards.  Mia & JJ are fighting Dinah, Roy, Zoe and William. This is a fantastic fight sequence. It really feels like the old guard meeting the new. Roy gets the upper hand on JJ, but Mia gets the upper hand on Dinah. That’s my baby girl!!!!
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William nervously holds a gun on Mia, but she’s cool as a cucumber. She knows he won’t shoot.  
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And why? *saythewordssaythewordssaythewordssaythewords*
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Source:  katie-mcgraths
BOOM!
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BLACKSTAR IS MIA SMOAK!!!!!!
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THAT’S DAMN RIGHT SHE IS!!!!!!!!!
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My screaming went ultrasonic STG. 
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It’s so much goodness all it once I almost hyperventilated. 
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This reveal was like setting off fireworks in this dystopian nightmare world. 
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I AM ALL IN ON THE FLASH FORWARDS.
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Is it awful William and Mia don’t know each other? Of course it is. My heart is broken Oliver and Felicity didn’t get to live an idyllic life, raising their babies in peace, and the city is still a hot mess 20 years in the future. I wouldn’t have picked it as a storyline, but if I was writing this show then Olicity would’ve been married in Season 3 and we’d be on our second set of triplets by now.  
I don’t know how the family became splintered, but I am dying to find out. I want to see Felicity reunited with both her son and daughter. I want to know what the hell happened to Oliver. I absolutely want to see William and Mia’s relationship as brother and sister develop. It reminds me of the Season 1 between Oliver and Thea or more accurately Oliver and Emiko now. If everything is a mess in the future then at the very least I want to see the Queen family fighting to make it better. SIGN ME THE HELL UP!!!!!!
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It’s not just about the Queen family either. Roy and Dinah officially confirm Connor Hawke is John Diggle’s boy JJ. Finally someone from present day recognizes these kids. 
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It’s clearly been YEARS since Dinah or Roy have seen JJ. What the hell happened? Where is Diggle? (Thank you David Ramsey for confirming you’ll be in the flash forwards).  If JJ is working with Mia and Felicity then hopefully it means Diggle is as well.
“Star City Slayer’ felt like the birth of new OTA (William, Mia and JJ). Did you notice how JJ came running in as Mia interrogated William and Dinah, all protective and concerned for her? My ship is setting sail!
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Kat McNamara said in her TVLine interview, “Beth has said they’re trying to combine the best qualities of Oliver and Felicity — his physical strength and her intellectual strength. “ 
And she is the best qualities.
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Mia is the perfect blend of Oliver and Felicity. Everything we saw in the show was put there for a reason - the scotch,
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the fight style, 
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her reaction to Oliver’s documentary, 
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her reaction to Felicity’s death, 
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Mia’s intellectual smarts 
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along with her street smarts. 
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It was all to show Mia’s connection to her parents. We didn’t imagine anything family. This fandom called it right from the start.  
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Let’s rewind a bit and go back to present day. I love how Felicity finds out she is pregnant. A blood test is irrefutable proof. Sure, pregnancy tests have come a long way, but you always get a blood test to confirm. I was happy to skip the whole “Is she sure?” trope.
It’s the perfect way for this child to happen.  I never thought this baby would be planned. Look at Oliver and Felicity’s lives! It’s going to be difficult to find “a good time” and Felicity is extremely pragmatic. I like how Mia’s arrival is unexpected. That’s life folks. If you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans.
If you are screaming “But birth control!!!” lemme tell ya I know plenty of folks who have gotten pregnant on birth control. It would be easy to miss a step here or there given the craziness of Oliver and Felicity’s lives.  I am also of the opinion Oliver “The Sex God” Queen has super sperm.
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Felicity is understandably stunned, but she instinctively puts her hand on her belly as she watches William being ushered away to Central City with his grandparents for a “normal life.” 
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This is the life Oliver and Felicity chose, but it’s not the life their children chose. Felicity’s desire to protect William and her unborn child is completely understandable and what any mother would do. This news is unexpected and life changing, but Felicity’s hand over her belly shows her instantaneous love. Even though this child was unplanned it is already adored.
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Source: olicitygifs
I’m not sure if the costume department specifically chose red on purpose, but Felicity finding out she’s pregnant dressed in a red sweater is a beautiful visual call back to Arrow 3x01 “The Calm.” 
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This is the episode where the seeds of this future were sewn. Their dinner at the Italian restaurant didn’t meet the qualifications of a first date, even though it came with all the nerves, because Oliver and Felicity already knew each other really well.  They were already in love.
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This was never about one date, a one night stand or even a fling. Oliver put those days behind him the minute he realized he loved Felicity Smoak. 
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It was always about forever for him.
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Oliver is not a man of many words and it’s difficult for him to talk about emotions or the past. But Oliver owed Felicity the truth after their “ruse” to stop Slade. She needed to know there were no lies in that “I love you.” 
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Oliver tells Felicity how much she means to him and the life he dreams of having with her.  
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Felicity waited two long years to hear everything Oliver said.
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This is why their breakup was so painful. 
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Oliver wasn’t just saying no to a relationship with Felicity. He was saying no to everything he dreamed. He was walking away from lazy days in bed, 
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failed omelets, 
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love ferns, 
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brown bag lunches,
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soufflés, 
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ying yang kisses,
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Christmas trees, 
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vows in the park,
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homework help,
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video game wars,
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breakfast for dinner, 
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Thanksgiving,
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and experimental cookies.
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Oliver said no to a home, children and a love strong enough to build it all around.
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Oliver could picture that life any time he looked at Felicity. He saw their children in her eyes. He knew exactly what he was giving up.  Oliver gave himself one moment to live that dream 
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and love the children who would never be.
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Anytime you think Oliver only loses I want you to think back to “The Calm.”  You think back to the beginning of the series and remember how far Oliver Queen has come. Remember everything he has built with his blood, sweat and tears. We’ve gone from a man who was emotionally cut off, suffering under the weight of his pain, because of his self hatred and guilt, 
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to one who believes he deserves to be loved, fights with everything he has to hold on to love, and shines his light for the world to see.
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The fans didn’t introduce the Olicity baby into the story. 
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The writers did and they did it for a very specific reason. 
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This has always been what Oliver is fighting for. Arrow is not just about saving Star City. It’s about saving Oliver Queen too. Felicity’s love and the family they will build together is his salvation. 
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This family is everything Oliver dreamed of. It’s everything he believed he didn’t deserve. It’s everything he’s fought to earn. Love, family and purpose. This is what it means to be alive. From the moment Oliver stopped surviving and truly started living again, this is the promise he’s always been headed towards.
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Mia is the fulfillment of that promise. 
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She is the final piece to the puzzle.
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Mia closes the loop around the life Robert and Moira Queen wanted for Oliver.  The life they died to give him.
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Maybe the Queen family is broken and splintered in the flash forward, but they will be put back together. Don’t doubt it for a second. Arrow is mass array of broken pieces which will ultimately fit together to unveil the final image. Salvation for Oliver, Star City, his family and the team is all the same thing. It’s all connected. You don’t get one without the other.  Oliver will save his family just like they saved him. 
It’s also important to remember how far we’ve come as fans who love this romance. We were told constantly Olicity would never happen. The NOlicity haters, L*urivers and antis from every nook and cranny said everything we saw on screen was our imagination. There was never a chance for Olicity. The writers would never abandon comic book canon for a love story of their own creation.
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And yet… they did. Felicity became the female lead. Olicity became the central romance of Arrow.  We didn’t imagine anything. Everything we saw was intentional. It was real. The smile was magic. 
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Her belief made him believe. 
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The lie was the truth. 
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The kiss led to 
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the sunset drive. 
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Everything broken 
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would be repaired. 
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Shame 
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would bring forgiveness.  
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The bouquet 
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promised the wedding.
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And the dream 
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would become a reality.
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Oliver and Felicity are blessed, and we as fans, are blessed to have them as our OTP.
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Olicity and William Clayton
Oy. What a couple of weeks with William. He still hasn’t coughed up a reason for his expulsion, so Oliver and Felicity play good cop/bad cop with him over breakfast. 
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Is anyone surprised Oliver is the good cop? No. 
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He wouldn’t have been on the damn boat banging his girlfriend’s sister if Robert and Moira Queen said no when he was two. The fact Oliver continually found himself in trouble with his parents is a clear indication whatever discipline the Queen’s used didn’t work. 
In fact, I remember Oliver having this fight with Moira in Season 1 over Thea. It’s a different story when it’s your kid, you’ve been in prison for several months and you just want bond with “Buddy.” Well, hike up the big boy pants and strap on those green tights Oliver. You’re a father now which means NO PANCAKES.
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Felicity is the most adorable bad cop to ever walk the face of the earth, but her husband knows better than to question her benevolent rule. 
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Bae is still Queen.  Felicity says one word and it’s see ya pancakes. 
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Oliver even takes William’s knife and fork away. I died. He’s like a light switch she can flip on and off. Let’s see what else Felicity can make Oliver do!  Sounds like a good use of 45 minutes to me!
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Source:  myhauntedblacksoul
I have to be honest if I was expelled, refused to explain why, copped an attitude and stormed out on my parents I would not live to tell the tale. Instead, I would be buried in the backyard next to our pet bunny Petunia. I had no desire to piss my parents off. I valued my life thank you very much.
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William does unload on Oliver and its pretty friggin great. The attitude needs to go, but William makes some valid points. 
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There’s been a lot of discussion about the “mistakes” Oliver has made and what he needs to do to be a better leader. I’m drawing a blank whenever this topic comes up around the Newbies because they are all awful and Oliver should’ve let them rot in Slabside.
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However, the next phase of the Oliver Queen evolution is listening and his teachers are his wife and son. Keep your expectations low fam. Oliver is still a heterosexual male. There’s only so much listening he’s physically capable of doing.
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William is cheesed off Oliver went to prison without discussing it with either Felicity or him (FACTS KIDDO), because his father does whatever the hell he wants to do (TRUE STORY). Simply because Oliver was heroically falling on the sword doesn’t erase his inability to ask for opinions. 
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Oliver feels this is an unfair characterization, but we only need to look at Felicity’s face and to know William’s remarks are on target.
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Source: olicitygifs
Felicity changes into her good cop hat and approaches William with Oliver’s world famous chili and a Rubik cube lesson. 
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(FLASH FORWARD CALL BACK!)
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Source: ebett 
Oliver acknowledges William’s right to be angry and apologizes. The kid has been through a lot in the last couple years, which is why Oliver wants to bring him home. 
It is at this point Samantha Clayton’s parents show up on Oliver and Felicity’s doorstep.  
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That’s right folks! A ticked off William called Grandpa and Grandma to complain. Jeez William. This is how those awful Lifetime movies about custody battles begin. Put down the phone dude.
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I’m laughing right now because I’m imagining calling my grandfather to complain about my parents. He would have reached through the telephone to bop me on the head. Then he would’ve said my parents were amazing, I’m the luckiest girl on the planet and I should apologize right the hell now. Then he would’ve sent me fifty bucks. My Papa was the best.
Grandma and Grandpa Clayton have a different approach. They want custody of William. Sigh. I’m not saying they don’t have a point. They didn’t know Oliver was the Green Arrow and the dude is convicted murderer. He just did time in a maximum security prison! Also, he knocked up their daughter and his Green Arrow activities are pretty much the reason she’s dead. So Oliver isn’t going to win the Claytons over anytime soon.
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They may think it is an open and shut custody case, but WHERE THE HELL WERE THEY? 
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There were plenty of times the Claytons could have intervened, but it takes William calling and complaining for these two to get off their asses? The kid was put into Witness Protection for god sake. Open and shut I think not.
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Obviously, Oliver goes growly papa bear and tells them nobody is taking his son. Damn right. He didn’t even get that mad at the Claytons until they insulted Felicity’s ability to parent. I thought Oliver was gonna put an arrow in them. DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE WIFEY. HE WILL COME FOR YOUR LIFE AND A LIFE IS WHAT HE WILL TAKE.
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I know William is going through stuff, but this is a really dick move. He knows Oliver and Felicity adore him and threatening a grandparent custody battle simply because he’s mad at Dad is completely inappropriate. Anyone can discipline this child at any time. I’ll wait.
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Oliver finally finds his angry voice! 
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There ya go big fella. It’s the same one you use to interrogate suspects, but with less torture.  And they say the hood didn’t prepare him to be a family man. Pfft.
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Oliver and William basically have it out. 
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As parent versus child fights go this is a pretty good one. Obviously, Oliver wants to have his son home and give him a normal life, but there is no normal when you are running around in green leather pants shooting arrows every night. 
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Am I saying Oliver and Felicity should immediately ship William off to his grandparents? No. There’s a way to build the Queen family version of normal. They’ll do breakfast for dinner, but will occasionally be held hostage. It’s a give and take.
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Parents have jobs where their lives are at risk every night. Do police officers ship their kids off to the grandparents? No. Do John and Lyla, who work for the least secret spy agency in the world, ship JJ off to Lyla’s parents? No. Zoe isn’t going anywhere. So why is William flipping his shit?
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Source:  olivergifs
Because William lived ten years with his version of normal and that life was with Samantha. It was a life with no masks, kidnappers blowing up islands or incredibly dull mob bosses. As wrong as it was to keep Oliver out of William’s life, Samantha did insulate their son from all the crazy.
William’s mother died pretty recently and this child has adjusted to a lot. He meets his father, but loses his mother. He gets to live with his father and gains a step mother, but he has to move away from his friends, school, grandparents and city. Then, just when he’s adjusted, everything is torn away again. His father is sent to prison and he’s put into Witness Protection with his stepmother. I understand why William is having difficulty adjusting to the Green Arrow life.
Felicity broaches the subject, but even discussing letting William go tears Oliver apart. 
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Source:  olicitygifs
Felicity thinks William is old enough to decide for himself what kind of life he wants to live. And right now that life is with his grandparents.  So Oliver lets him go.
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Source:  thegayfleet
This is why I’m still mad with writers for killing Samantha. 
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If the intent was to protect William from all the insanity of Oliver’s life then why kill his mother? Why bring back Raisa? Why send him off with the grandparents when William simply could be splitting time 50/50 with his mother in Central City? 
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Samantha’s existence didn’t preclude Felicity from having a relationship with him. It would have been interesting to see Oliver, Felicity and Samantha co parent.
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The only reason Arrow killed off Samantha was to make Oliver a full time father and for the whole father/son sin cycle to continue. Eh. That was never a good enough reason for me, but especially now because they are looking for an escape hatch to throw William out of.  If the endgame was always to route William back to Central City then they should have left his mother alone.
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The argument Oliver and Felicity can’t provide William protection or a normal life, when they achieved those things all last season while living a pretty idyllic life, is a lot of nonsense.  Yes, I know Oliver went through a time in Season 6 when he hung up the hood, but Felicity was still on the team. And Oliver suited back up eventually. William could adjust to the new normal just like JJ and Zoe have.  Are JJ and Zoe getting shipped off to their grandparents? No.
It’s difficult to believe Oliver and Felicity willingly letting William go, even though I understand the kid’s frustration and anger. 
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Oliver is right. William can’t call his grandparents for back up anytime he’s mad at his parents. But by letting him move to his grandparents, Oliver and Felicity are just reinforcing this behavior! The Queen family needs to learn to fight without someone packing up and moving.  
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Perhaps, if we didn’t have the flash forwards we would see Oliver, Felicity and William work through this, but the writers want some distance between the three to sell the future storyline. I’m still not even sure this is the “abandonment” William is still bitching about 20 years from now, because guess what son? You left Oliver and Felicity! Not the other way around. It still boggles my mind Oliver and Felicity would allow this given how hard they fought to reunite their family this season.  
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It seems a little ridiculous to me William peaces out after his dad is released from prison or Felicity being so willing to let him go.  William’s present day storyline feels slapped together with tape and glue. It flies in the face of everything this family established in Season 6 for the sake of the flash forwards. I’m having a very difficult time buying any kind of separation between William, Oliver and Felicity no matter how ticked off this kid is.
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Of course, as William is walking out the door Felicity finds out she’s pregnant with his sister. I have no idea why William doesn’t know about Mia. I don’t think Oliver and Felicity said goodbye to him forever in “Star City Slayer” so there’s a lot of plot holes needing to be filled. I can’t even venture a guess and I really don’t want to. There’s too much information we don’t have and it feels like a fruitless endeavor. My plan is to wait and watch.
Curtis Holt
The Olicity baby wasn’t the only thing on my Christmas Wish List! Beth booted Curtis Holt off my show too !!!!!!!! YAHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
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Honestly, I felt a little bad for Echo because this was the least important development in the episode. The Olicity baby bomb blew him out of the water.
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No, it doesn’t bother me he isn’t dead. I’m perfectly fine with Arrow shipping Curtis off to Washington D.C. for his dream job. I didn’t need him dead. I needed him GONE.
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At first, I wasn’t quite sure what route Arrow was going. He tells Diggle about the job in DC but then John, who is determined to piss me off at every turn this season, offers Curtis a bigger job at ARGUS. 
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He’ll be in charge of their science division because what would we do without Curtis! HE IS SO VITAL. 
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Dammit Diggle! You had one job! JUST LET HIM GO.
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Curtis goes out into the field with the team to hunt the Star City Slayer and I felt certain we were headed into L*urel L*nce territory. She decided to suit up “one last time” before taking her DA job and then BAM! Arrow right to the gut.
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Amazingly, Curtis makes it out relatively unscathed and he even saves Dinah’s life with one of his T-spheres. I think. I didn’t really care other than he wasn’t dead. I was too busy thinking, “Shit he better not take John up on the ARGUS job.” 
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But I was prepared folks. As long as I got an Olicity baby I was prepared to deal with whatever other disappointments came my way.
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But NOPE! Beth decided to be Santa Claus and give me allllllllll my goodies.
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Curtis decides to take the job in DC. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The minute Curtis said it I went online to buy him 15 plane tickets – one for him and his 14 PhDs.
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Of course, he gives full ownership of Helix back to Felicity. 
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See this is why he needs to go. He acted so magnanimous - like it was his to give. Curtis gives Felicity some pompous talk about finding her purpose. OMG THIS GUY IS TOO MUCH. IT WAS HER COMPANY AND YOU ROAD ON HER COATTAILS. MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE HER “PURPOSE” BY NOW IF THE WRITERS WEREN’T CONSTANTLY SIDE LINING FELICITY TO GIVE YOUR USELESS ASS SOMETHING TO DO. Ugh. Is the plane here yet? I’m so done with this douche.
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Anyways, what matters is Curtis Holt is GONE!!!!!!! 
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And it looks like we’re full steam ahead on Smoak Technologies. 
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Source:  felicitysmoakgifs
I don’t know why Arrow continually compartmentalizes Felicity. It seems to me she could be deputized and work with Team Arrow as Overwatch while creating Smoak Tech. Maybe that will happen, but for now it seems only one activity at the time. But at least her storyline won’t be stripped and ransacked to serve Curtis Fucking Holt anymore. WE CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED FANDOM. ALL MY PRAISE TO JESUS AND BETH SCHWARTZ.
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Stan the Fan
Last, but certainly not least, “Star City Slayer” finally delivers a villain worth watching. Stan the Fan is back and is more creepy, diabolical and terrifying in one episode than Diaz was for a year and a half! 
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Brendan Fletcher is a genius and the smartest move Arrow made was not killing him off at the end of the episode. WE WANT MORE STAN!
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The back story even made sense. WILL WONDERS EVER CEASE? 
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Stanley was abused and tortured by his parents until he finally killed them. Stanley’s older brother, who always tried to protect him, was horrified when he found out.  So, Stanley killed him too. Now he seeks out older brother types to look up to and endear himself to. Stanley tries to protect his new “big brother” just like his brother did for him. He kills anyone he believes are bad for the person he admires – friends and enemies alike.
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Okaaaaay. My man Stan has some legit issues. 
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Oliver: My teammates would never hurt you.
Stan: But they’re still bad for you!  Worse even because they don’t understand you.
Soooo… not for nothin’ but I found myself nodding along with Stan the Fan. 
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He was making many of the same arguments many of us have made about the Newbies. 
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Is Stanley wrong? Are we wrong? HELL NO THEY ARE THE WORST! Is it a little worrisome I’m agreeing with the psychopath? Well sure, but I think it’s find to agree with crazy people when they make sense.  Did Stan back into the right opinion via Insanity Street? Sure, but facts are facts no matter what route you choose.
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I also completely understood his desire to hang out with the Queen family and make a new team just the four of them. I’ve had that dream myself. 
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But let’s be clear - I’m not a crazy fan like Stan. I AM COMPLETELY RELAXED ABOUT OLIVER QUEEN!!!
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Slicing Dinah’s throat was a step too far over the line though Stan my man. 
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Source: arrowdaily
I just want her to take a job in Central City like Curtis moved to DC and bring Rene with her. Relocation would have been fine. You didn’t have to fricassee her vocal chords, bro.
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I think the scariest movies are when you are physically restrained from defending yourself in any way. You can’t move or scream. The scariest Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode is “Hush” and it remains one of the most terrifying hours of television I’ve ever seen. I’m still traumatized.
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Obviously, Oliver can take Stan the Fan in a blink of an eye so the paralyzing drug really shifted the power dynamic. It made Stan a real threat not only to Oliver, but his whole family. 
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Source:  plotbunnyshipper
It’s completely unnerving to listen to a powerless Oliver Queen trying to reason with Froot Loops. Stephen Amell always does such a great job with making his voice melodic like Oliver is trying to lull Stanley into submission.
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But you can’t fix crazy Oliver! I love how the Queen family worked together to stop him. William slides the bottle, 
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Felicity pisses Stanley off to get him to attack her, 
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and Oliver takes him out in one shot. BAM! 
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That’s how we do! It’s gonna be so great when all four members of the Queen family are reunited, kicking ass, taking names and saving the city together.
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Stray Thoughts
Wait. So Bl*ck S*ren isn’t even IN the episode where Mia’s parentage is revealed. HAHAHAHAHA. Obviously, KC was on her honeymoon and that’s lovely, but it never ceases to amaze me how wrong her fans are. Just when I think they’ve hit a new low they reset the whole scale by digging even deeper into the Pit of Wrongness. Am I being petty? YA DAMN RIGHT I AM.
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Ben Lewis’ scream when Dinah shoves William off the platform made me laugh until I cried.
Roy’s parkour made its triumphant return!
When my parents asked me to unpack the groceries it wasn’t a request I could refuse. My parents are lovely people, but next to Oliver they look like the Gestapo! Someone in the Arrow writer’s room needs to take a parenting class.
Felicity’s apartment security system is great and everything, but can’t she install a camera or something so they can see who the unidentified persons are? It’s called The Ring. Quite handy.
Loved the pink. Felicity was checking off all her signature colors. Source:  lucyyh
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Dinah lost her Canary Cry. Since she was having trouble dealing with being an outed meta it’ll be interesting to see what her reaction is. She doesn’t need to be a meta human to be part of Team Arrow. Although, I think this gives Team Arrow more of a reason to occasionally reach out to Bl*ck S*ren. 
This was such a mom moment. Source: EBETT
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This was such a dad moment. Source:  olivergifs
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Followed by another mom moment.  Source:  olivergifs
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The woman loves her man and his chili. Source: feilcityqueen
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This is the zenith of my shipper life. I have reached the top of Everest. Time to take stock of my OTP journey.
One taught me patience
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One taught me pain
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One taught me love
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Thanks to @callistawolf for the review title!
Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x13 gifs credited.
If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!
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I have something to share with you, and I would really appreciate it if you'd listen. I recently (like, very very recently) forced myself out of over a decade of self denial about my sexuality. And I know y'all don't care, but it's really important to me that I get this all out there, and if you read this whole thing you'll understand why.
Okay, so for the past ten years I've been telling myself and everyone else that I'm bisexual. But the truth is I'm not, I'm actually 100% lesbian. But. I don't know, I guess I was so ashamed of my truth that I needed to pretend to be something I'm not. So for the past decade, while calling myself bisexual, I dated and fucked around with several people, all dudes (hello, that bitch heteronormative-societal-pressure is calling) and well, not a single instance of those relationships was ever satisfying, sexually or emotionally. I remember when I was, what 10? 11? And watched Once Upon a Time for the first time. Seeing Lana Parrilla as Regina Mills - that was the moment I recognized that I was interested in girls. And I'd like to blame some external source for why I decided that must mean I'm bisexual and not gay... but in reality I think it had more to do with my own fear, my own insecurities.
After being thrust into the knowledge that I liked women, I spent a few months trying out labels (bi, pan, etc) but never really let myself consider lesbian as an option. Because up until that point, it had always been a given that I liked guys, you know? Like, straight is the default setting for sexuality (which, don't even get me started) and even though my family is and always has been very accepting and liberal minded, straight was still what they believed me to be as I had never indicated differently.
But now I was armed with my queer self knowledge, right? And the summer before high school I actually did come out to my best female friend at the time as a lesbian, and she was all "that's cool whatever" and part of me felt like I needed, I don't know, more acknowledgment? It was really difficult for me to come out to her, really difficult to even let myself say that I was a lesbian, and she basically didn't give a fuck. Which, don't get me wrong - I don't blame her for at all. We were 13 yrs old ffs! But it made me feel like maybe I was wrong, and I wasn't actually gay. Put on top of that all the adults in my life telling me that I couldn't possibly know who I was, that I was still growing up and therefore everything about me would change...and yeah, I began to doubt myself. Began to doubt if I knew myself at all, I was like "I'm 13, I used to hate bananas and now I like them...how can I know for sure I'm even gay?"
Anyways, so I'd just come out to my bff but then high school started - and I'm not sure if y'all know this but high school in 2012 was extremely heteronormative. My school wasn't anti gay or anything, but there's a lot of unconscious pressure from your peers to be in relationships, and when you're one of what, three gay people? you kinda can't be in a relationship ya know? So me, who was already questioning my self knowledge, decided that I must be bisexual instead of gay. And I dated like 3 people just in my first year lmao (all dudes of course).
Well, at the end of grade nine some really bad shit happened to me. Someone older than me who I trusted and considered a friend decided it would be cool to drug me and then try to get me to have sex with them in the "secret hallway" at our school. ANYWAYS not the point!!! The point is that after that, I labelled myself asexual and basically swore off sex forever.
The thing was, I kept on developing crushes on the girls in my classes. And every time that happened, I would force myself to ignore it and then I would go and flirt with some guy instead, because I might have been interested in both but who wants to be that one weird girl who flirts with girls that don't want to be flirted with? I certainly didn't. But guys we're always so easy, idk, they were all pretty desperate back then. Lmao that sounds harsh but I stg it's true. 15/16 yr old boys are like a whole nother level of thirsty.
I continued to develop crushes on girls, and have meaningless relationships with guys. I even briefly had a flirtationship with a girl in grade 10 (I went to a different high school for like a semester) which lasted a whole week lol. And then in 11th grade I had a relationship with my best friend at the time, who was a guy I'd been really good friends with since 5th grade. And it was both super easy and super hard, if that makes sense? I knew him well and we were really comfortable with each other - but I was also a lesbian pretending to be bisexual, so every time we did anything remotely sexual it was like totally ew.
We tried to have sex, but my vagina was like "ahaha bitch you thought" so that never happened. I actually tried to have sex two other times with two other guys after that, and each time my vagina was not having it. It was an instance of my body knowing me better than my mind, but I didn't want to listen.
Then this past fall, I decided to go out with this guy I worked with. It had been uh, wow, 2 years since my last relationship, and tbh even though I wasn't interested in dating him at all I felt like it might as well happen. Basically that John Mulaney joke about how adult life is already so goddamn weird. Also, after being single for that long my fam was getting pretty annoying with all the "when are you going to get a bf" shit so yeah, basically I caved to the pressure and went out with this guy Richard.
We went on maybe four dates, and it was so incredibly underwhelming that after not seeing or hearing from him for a month after the job ended, he called me and I was like "Richard who?"
Guys. I had legit forgotten about him. Completely, like he'd been erased from my mind, that was how insignificant he was. But it made me start to wonder; how can this guy, who I'd tried to have sex with, be so meaningless to me? Why am I so indifferent?
I sat down with myself, and took the time to have a long look at the parts of me I'd always kept hidden away. I came to the realization that I wasn't bisexual, that I'd never been bisexual, and that I am actually gay as fuck. Part of this realization was me letting myself rediscover my super gay love for Lily Tomlin. She is one of my fav actresses and her movie All Of Me was my favourite film for half my life. But because I was so busy forcing myself to be Not Gay™, I'd made myself ignore her, and a lot of other female actresses and celebrities who I adore in exchange for male celebrities.
But even after I made the realization that I'm gay and not bi, a part of my brain was like "but what if you're not tho". There was still a big part of me that was trying to force me back into denial, force me into hiding from myself. A part of me thought "if I'm gay, wouldn't someone have noticed? Wouldn't my family have known?" In hindsight it was actually super obvious, but I guess I did a good job of hiding it from myself and everyone around me.
It took me three weeks to actually say the words "I'm a lesbian" out loud to somebody other than myself, and when I did it was the scariest fucking thing I've ever done. My sister was really amazing about it though, and I'm so grateful to her for that. And after telling her, after forcing myself to say it to another human being, the part of my brain that was trying to get me to lie to myself got a little smaller.
When I told my mom a few days later, it was slightly easier to say out loud, and when I changed my bios on my social media (which I'd been avoiding like the plague) my need for self denial shrunk again. But it's still there, in a corner of my mind. The little voice of self doubt, trying to convince me that I'm wrong, that I can't be gay, that I should keep hiding.
That's why I needed to tell y'all this. Because the more people I tell, the more times I say it out loud, the more I make it known - the smaller that voice gets. The less power it holds over me. The more real the truth, my truth, becomes.
My name is Mara, I am 20 years old and I am a lesbian. Now you know my truth.
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