#we arent owed any information

[sarcastictissy]

Just a friendly reminder that saying things such as "the qsmp better not come back before 2025" or "in less that 3 or 4 or 6 or 8 or 12 months" is not helpful as we genuinely have no clue what progress has or has not been made behind the scenes. They could be starting from the beginning, they could be halfway through the process, they could be in the brainstorming stage, they could be taking a hiatus before working on things behind the scenes. We truly have no idea what is going on.

Don't get me wrong, it's absolutely fair to say we want them to take the time necessary to sort out all the issues, but realistically, we don't know how long that may or may not take. None of us have been in that situation before and therefore have no real accurate expectation of when things should be sorted by.

I want things to work out, I want admins to be paid and I want all workers to be in a good position where they're treated fairly. However, I'm not going to say it should or should not take a certain length of time to complete this restructure and I hope you all realise the same.

[naoa-ao3]

All Monsters Great and Small

Giles needed information on a specific magic and it was for once so specialized that he knew of only one person who had ever even dabbled in it. Ethan but as far as he knew the man was still locked up somewhere, safe, secure and where he couldn't cause any harm.

He knew because he'd put him there.

Giles had always felt right in his decision to hand Ethan over to the Initiative. Ethan had proven himself dangerous time and time again and with no end of his bad behavior in sight he hadn't really given him any other option but that had been nearly a decade ago now and since then the world had changed. Whether Ethan Rayne changed with it or not hardly mattered any more.

Giles had spent the years since Sunnydale helping Buffy build a network of Slayers across the globe. It was massive now and the sheer scope of their reach gave him some time off once in a while where he could almost pretend he was close to retirement. He had come to accept however, that winters in Spain and a fat pension weren't in his future as they might once have been. Evil didn't retire and so he probably never would either.

Today was no exception. When even their coven connections couldn't help them he called in a favor from the Initiative and of all people they sent him Riley Finn, older and more lined than he should have yet been but still wide eyed and quintessentially all American. He couldn't fight the stab of contempt he felt for the boy he had been and the man he was now. People seldom changed and Riley might have been older but he had never left his commandos, never learned to think for himself. Never been good enough for Buffy if he was honest. He hadn't been a bad kid but he hadn't impressed him either.

He forced a smile however when he met the man at the airport outside Reno. Being state side again was somehow jarring. So close to where Sunnydale had been and yet knowing it wasn't.

Riley's smile was tight too. "Took me a while to track him down." He said. "Your guy got moved around a little over the years."

Giles glanced at him. "Was he trouble?" He asked.

Riley shrugged. "Don't know. File I got said he didn't do well in the rehabilitation facility. They moved him here for keeping."

"Didn't do well?" Giles felt a pit form in his stomach. Didn't do well. . .

"Its rehab." Riley said, leading him to an unmarked government van. "You have to want it. He didn't."

Right.

Ethan wouldn't have wanted it.

They got in and Giles glanced out the window and back at the airport. He could see Ethan not doing well in rehab.

"You'll be trusted to keep the facility's location a secret. We normally wouldn't allow anyone inside but you arent exactly a stranger and we owe your people a few favors." Riley said.

Giles nodded, thinking of Ethan and remembering Adam and Walsh and the rest of the boys in Kevlar. He had really handed his old friend over to these people. "How long has he been at this facility?" He found himself asking.

"About six years now. He wasn't very forthcoming in Sunnydale as I remember. They got what they could oit of him and sent him to the rehab building but. . ." Riley trailed off and the pit in Giles's guts opened wider, taunting him.

He wondered what they'd wanted from Ethan at all and had a flicker if doubt. The Initiative didn't deal in magic, they dealt with demons. Take his magic away and Ethan was just a man.

He felt his palms sweat as they were engulfed by the darkness and the desert. The stars above. The hum of the engine.

There was no other way. Ethan wasn't an ordinary man and an ordinary prison couldn't hold him, although he didn't doubt that there was ample evidence across the Atlantic to put him in one. No, this was the only place and sooner than he'd thought they came across a small building in the middle of nowhere, only one guard on duty as far as he could see.

Giles raised an eyebrow and Riley pointed to their feet. "Down there." He said, cleared by the guard.

Of course it was and down they went, into the bleeding belly of the beast and her fluorescent lights and locks. . . her secrets.

They passed nameless white walls and ugly, tiled floors, the lights humming above and the only sound their feet slapping the ground beneath them.

Giles thought for some reason he would be seeing Ethan in his cell and it was almost a disappointment when he was lead into an interrogation room. He looked at Riley expectantly and the boy. . . the grown boy cleared his throat.

"They should be bringing him." He said, gesturing at the table he should sit at. "Are you sure he'll help you?"

He wasn't and he didn't answer. Nothing was certain with Ethan. That was why he was better off here.

Riley hung his head and nodded. He'd never been a stupid lad.

They waited.

"You knew him, right?" Riley asked suddenly, looking up.

Giles nodded, wondering what he was asking for and not liking it that he was at all.

Riley nodded too. "Its been nearly ten years." He said. "He may be different."

It was insightful and Giles resented him for his insight. He knew how long it had been and yet Riley's words still made him twist inside, his sweaty palms still sticking and his throat drier than it had been before. "I'll keep that in mind." He said.

Riley nodded and then the door opened and two men entered with a figure between them. Ethan Rayne, looking every bit of ten years older than he had the last time Giles had seen him. He looked haggard too and Giles didn't miss it but the moment their eyes met he saw an old light go on in Ethan's and his eyebrows rose. He was still the same man.

The man was so busy looking at him that he stumbled when directed into the chair across the table.

The door shut and the two soldiers remained outside. It was just the three of them in the cement room. Ethan's eyes bright. "Ripper." He heard him breath and he sounded older too. Giles watched as he placed his hands in the desk between them and he heard the clink of handcuffs. It was almost fascinating to see Ethan of all people in chains like this. Satisfying in a way.

"How are you, Ethan?" He asked, taking in the changes on the man. He was thinner, greyer. Older than he'd thought either of them would ever be but he was still Ethan.

"Peachy." Ethan said, voice dark. His eyes raked over Giles appraisingly. "What about you, Ripper? What brings you down to my humble abode?"

"I need some information." Giles said, lacing his own fingers opposite Ethan and looking at the difference in their hands. His were not as thin and there was no metallic clink or shine around his wrists.

Ethan gave him an amused look but it wasn't anything like the looks he remembered from the past. This one was weaker, tired. "Well I'm afraid im not very on top of the up and about of today's gossip."

"I think you'll know about this." Giles said. "I need to know about the father of all chaos gods. The primordial demon Anthellen. One if his children is causing mayhem beyond his own ability."

Ethan looked delighted. "And you think I know of this?"

"Know of or know him." Giles said. "You served the god Janus. I don't imagine he was the only one you payed homage to."

A dryer look this time, not so amused. "I know of Anthellen but he's not father of all chaos." He sounded read on the subject and Giles sighed, glad he was being so forthcoming. "Only one pantheon of chaos gods."

Giles leaned forward and in the dim fluorescent light he had to strain his eyes. "And of his children?" He asked.

Ethan withdrew his arms from the table. "And why would I know anything about them?" He asked.

Giles frowned. "If anyone would it would be you."

Ethan cocked his head but nodded. "And if I tell you?" He asked.

A harder frown. "You want to know what's in it for you." Of course he did. How typical of Ethan. Always working an angle.

Ethan nodded, eyebrows raised expectantly but he had his arms crossed over himself and looked weary.

"Well what do you want then?" Giles asked, sitting back. "It's not as if I can give you your freedom."

A slightly sour look crossed Ethan's face. "No, but he can give me things." He said, pointing at Riley.

Riley looked at Giles who shrugged. "What do you want, Ethan?" He asked. It seemed harmless enough to ask and they already had all of the power. Ethan didn't have a lot of room to negotiate.

"I want my books back and I don't want them taken again." He sounded almost petulant there was an odd timber in his voice.

"Why were your books taken?" Riley asked, arms crossed.

Ethan gave him a look of distaste. "Their drugs aren't perfect, you know." He said. "Sometimes they can't stop all of the magic. Sometimes I get lucky."

"Which is why you're still in here." Riley said.

Giles nodded and Ethan gave him a resentful look. "Give them back or I'll say nothing." He said. "I don't have anything else to bargain with and you won't give me anything else I want."

"Youre sure right about that." Riley said dryly but Giles wasn't interested in petty squabbling.

"Oh just give him the bloody books back." Giles snapped.

"Do you know what they gave me to read in here?" Ethan asked suddenly, looking at him then over the table. "Anne of Green Gables. The whole set! When I'd read it, I asked for more and they gave me Little House on the Prairie. Can you imagine? This is condescension I wouldn't stoop to!"

Giles looked at him dryly. This was getting him nowhere. "You've got your books back now what do you know, Ethan?" He asked.

Ethan leaned forward. "I know your tin soldiers haven't stopped all of their cutting." He hissed.

That was something to consider but it wasn't what he'd asked and Giles had a time frame to worry about.

"You know, you look older, Rupert." Ethan said, diverting to another topic. He sounded almost sad and it was getting pathetic.

"So do you." He whispered.

There was silence and then he cleared his throat and Ethan winced. "I need to know." Giles said. He couldn't play these games forever. Ethan had all of the time in the world but he didn't.

And for a moment Ethan looked like an old man. Far older than he was. "Your god was eaten by his children. The child that ate his head was Callenth. If you're looking for anyone it'll be him and there'll be writing on him. I know you probably didn't find much on Anthellen." He sniffed. "He became the most powerful and practiced the darkest chaos. Its was always a trip calling upon him. He might kill you for it. The rush is incredible. You should try it, I know it nearly killed me."

"And yet you somehow survived."

Ethan smiled slightly. "He's arrogant."

Giles didn't point out that he was the last person who should have been calling names. "Thank you, Ethan." He said, rising then.

Bound hands reached out and grabbed at his arm tightly, fingers cold and hard. "Not yet." He whispered. "You take my time I take your's." Ethan's voice was low and shakey then.

Giles almost snorted. "And why would I do that?" He asked.

Ethan looked troubled, nearly angry. "Why not?" He asked. "What have you got to loose?" He snapped.

Giles almost pitied him but this was the man who had upended the people he cared about's lives and nearly killed them. This was a man who caused chaos and problems wherever he went. This was the man who wouldn't leave him alone.

"Do you know where they keep me?" Ethan asked. "Underground, forever. I haven't seen the sky in years. You took that from me." He nodded slightly as if Giles should agree with him and he did even if he didn't nod. He had taken that away from him but Ethan had taken it away from himself too. He couldn't pretend he was repercussion's victim.

"You caused nothing but trouble."

"There are far worse people than me." Ethan said, voice thin and scathing.

"And yet my life has been much more enjoyable devoid of your escapades." Giles said, trying to hurt. Trying to make the churning in his guts stop.

Ethan chewed on his cheek for a moment. Something he didn't think he'd seen him do before.

"These boys forget that I'm not a demon." He whispered. "Can't take the beatings they can." He sounded short and forceful.

Giles winced and looked at Riley who looked guilty.

"That's the trouble with all of the on campus recruiting and little soldier training in schools. You get kids with weapons." Ethan whispered and Giles realized he had sat back down. He couldn't remember doing so.

"I'll talk to someone." Riley muttered. "I didn't know."

He never did and Giles looked at Ethan, feeling something close to guilt in his chest. He had done this but Ethan had hurt so many people in his life. He didn't have a choice.

"I don't know what's worse." Ethan said. "The demons or the soldiers. All monsters, great and small, you know?" He grinned almost haplessly and there was just the faintest glimmer of his old self. "They're all down here."

"And what are you?" Giles found himself asking. He felt numb.

"In here? With all of the drugs they give me? I'm rather small." He laughed softly, apologetically.

Giles nodded. "I think that might be good for you, Ethan."

And the man stopped smiling and leaned across the table again. "It was only a joke, Rupert." He whispered. "You didn't have to do this to me."

"You never would have stopped."

Ethan nodded. "That's right but even you must realize this is a bit much, even for me." His eyes crinkled as if he were trying to convey how helpless he was now.

Giles swallowed hard and forced himself to remain resolute. "And if we let you go? What would you do? How long before you went back to your old ways?" He asked.

"And my old ways were so much worse than what these people have done. They may not slice you up here but it's not a picnic."

"You had a chance to rehabilitate."

"No I had a chance to do what they called rehabilitate and I'll be damned before I get lectured on this from you. You're the reason I'm here." He sounded angry now, upset.

"Perhaps if you had stayed in England. . ." Giles said, hackles up.

Ethan snorted and Riley shifted uncomfortably.

"You have no idea what you've done and your horse is getting so high you're loosing oxygen."

Giles glared at him and knew it was true. He didn't know what he had done. "Ethan if you cooperated. . ." He said, struggling to find a way Ethan couldn't twist his words.

"If I got my mind right?" Ethan asked, sharp and biting.

He shrugged, knowing that was just it. "Yes." He whispered.

"Oh, I've got my mind right." Ethan whispered. "And I'm going to get out one day."

"Well it's good to see you haven't lost hope." Riley said dryly.

Ethan gave him another look of dislike. "You were one of the soldier boys who brought me in." He said. "Arrested me. Isn't it nice we're all back together?"

"Not the word I'd pick." Riley said flatly, arms crossed again.

Giles felt as if a brick had settled in his stomach and he looked at Ethan who was angry and backed into a corner. He didn't have anything to bargin with and no powers if he was telling the truth.

He was just a a man and this was no place for a man.

Yet there was nowhere else for him and he had to stay because Ethan Rayne wasn't just a man and he wasn't going to stop.

"I'm sorry you haven't changed your mind." He said, looking at the table between them.

Ethan looked up, looking almost startled. He looked old and Giles didn't like seeing it. Didn't like seeing him this way. It was naked and frightened him of what he himself was aging into. Who ever thought of themselves as old? When he had first met Ethan he had never imagined being this old. Knowing this much. He thought he'd known everything when he was young. He hadn't known a bloody thing.

"Thank you for your help and. . . perhaps we can get him something other than Little House on the Prairie?" He found himself saying. "I think that's a little condescending of the warden." He was done here.

No snort or quip, Ethan looked hopeful and Riley nodded.

"Yeah, he kept his end but no spell books."

Giles nodded and stood, not stopped this time. "Thank you, Ethan." He said again.

Ethan looked surprised and then nodded back. He saw for a flash the boy he'd known, the boy who had captivated him and fascinated him, who had inspired all of his worst behavior and challenged him to do more and then he saw the old man in his drab uniform and grey hair. What the hell happened to you when you got old? You were young and holding the world one second and they you were grey and just helping. Helpless.

"You're going?" Ethan asked, voice quivering.

The pit in Giles's stomach yawned. "Yes." He said, voice dead in the stale room, under the fluorescent light and the electric buzzing, the dull corridors and white walls. . .the world with no sky.

Another faint nod. "Don't forget I'm in here." Ethan whispered and it wasn't snide or mocking. He sounded pitiful and small and Giles left him there, information in hand and guts twisted and raw.

He wasn't going to be forgetting this any time soon.

He looked at Riley and wondered what he would be like when he was their age. Maybe he'd learn to think for himself by then. Maybe he wouldn't make it at all. Too many didn't.

It was still night when they reached the surface and he thought of what Ethan had said.

All monsters, great and small.

Ethan was down there with them and one of them and he was above and under the stars.

All God's monsters.

The world with sky.

The world without.

All choices made and sealed.

They were all repercussion's victims in the end.

[syscourse-confessions]

man i am literally just existing here and think other ppl should also get to exist. what's so discoursey about this (apparently a lot and we've been called fake for going "if you want to know my system origins, uh, fuck you? we dont owe you shit about how our system formed" because clearly that means were not traumagenic (we are. i dont care abt saying that rn bc whooo anon messages but you get the idea) but no it just means You Are Not Owed This Information. Get Over It (with benett foddy))

god, i fucking hate how discourse-poisoned the internet is. i guess as a whole we're pro-endo-apathetic, is the best descriptor? we dont give a shit about system origins at all rly. sure most systems are traumagenic. doesnt mean endos arent real. or that all endos r traumagenic. or that letting ppl believe theyre endo hurts them (like forcing ppl to confront trauma isnt harmful as fuck) lmaoooooooooo

like i get being concerned abt ppl IGNORING trauma. but trust me: eventually they Will discover "oh, that was traumatizing actually". no harm done in letting them discover that for themselves. smh

sorry if this is long/for any typos but Ugh

.

[toffy-up]

I have enaugh. I cant anymore.

Look i write my dreams down and slowly. Slowly i get to my limit with the newest. I will pos a few here now. Maybe then i can stop thinking about them.

1.I was in my old house in the basement. I watched Tv in the hobbyroom. We never spend much time there tho, except for me i was there a whole summer. I dont know why anyomre. Anyways, I watched Tv and informt myself about a horror cosplayer. Suddenly there were a demon face, a woman crawling without a head, in the TV, and other completly terrifying stuff. I ran upstairs but before i did, i wanted some proof and started to film from between the stairs, like there were gaps, but i think it already stopped from happen. Then i got up and didnt found anyone. So i ran to the next floor were my grandma was sitting with her back to me watching TV with my uncle. My uncle asked me "How does living with your grandma is going. I was confused, i dont life with my grandma, anymore at least. Also i was so scarred still but i knew they wouldnt belive me, so i just stand the and answerd what i thought he wanna hear. I said "Yeah its fine right Grandma?". She didnt turned around to me, but she said something i cant remember. I got back down and found my boyfriend sleepin on the couch. Completly coverd in a blanket. So i woke him still pretty scarred and nervous. We went into my REALLY little room and i told him what i saw. I whisperd "i saw it! That demon. And hes strong." I think he belived me, because we wanted to get out of this house. There were a bibel and a cross on the window still. My boyfriend got out of the room and i heard my mum say to him "Hey Tom, you can get out of the hospital when you smoke. So you can smoke nothing will happen" Because my Aunt said that to her, my mum was on the phone with her. I opend a drawer and saw to alexas. (Oh a detail i remeberd was that when i ran from the basment, there wasnt a door its an open stair case. I looked at the corner where my dad had always his computers and i thought "mh thats weird why arent they there?".) And uhm maybe some information that helps is that, my mum and dad divorced when i was pretty young, but my dad stayed in the house not my mum

2. I was in a playgriund as an adult. Its a place i knew from my childhood, its a big hall with massive ammount of playthings, trampolins, slides, jungle gyms. Stuff like that. Its was for kids between the age of 6 to 12 i would say. There also was a kids corner, were i always was to old for, in the dream too. But they could draw there play wirh more little things. In the dream i went inside with my boyfriend, there werent any minni humans anymore. We looked around the little kids drawing untill i noticed. Wait, thats my drawings, my darker ones to be specific. They looked like a kid had redraw them. I was confused i said to Tom. "Honey? There are my drawings" He didnt really belived me, even tho he should know my pictures. Then a woman came in, one of the caretakers. She was confused why we are there and i imeadiatly asked her who draw them. And now now it gets weird. She said ow a girl blahblahblah. I looked at the drawing and notices a sign there stand Lilith. But that wasnt all. As i went outside again, my boyfriend already by the car. 2 staff members came to me and talked to me in a closed room. They said weird thing going on and then they eaid like a spell. And i...i was blocked out of my own dream only black. Untill i got back out off the room. And went ouzside with some salt they had seemed to give me

3. I was back in my old hometown. Like i was travelt thru time. I noticed pretty fast, because of the shopping mile i was it there were shops that didnt excist anymore. The first thought was my grandpa. He died and back in time i would be able to see him again. So i started ranning too my old house, my grandpa was at work his car wasnt there. But i didnt think that tru. So i stood there infront of the house and i think i saw myself as a baby, my mother was carrying me. She looked young again. She saw me but didnt reconize me. I was pretty unsure because of time and i didnt wanted to mess things up. So i started to ran away. And she followed me asking if i was my dads new girlfriend. The one who he cheated on her with. I said no and ran away again. It was all very real feeling. Like i was back in time

4. Now one of the most intense one. I was somewehere and waited for Tom (My boyfriend) to pick me up. He did and on the right his friend called him. In the call he had on speakers, it came out he had been in an amusement park with his friend, his girlfriend and another girl. The girl said how much she had missed him and i was angry, so i went out of the car. And then oh boy....i started walking home myself but when i got in my old hometown, this wasnt my own hometown. It was a weird place. There were doors, everywhere, like colourful buildings door on door and open rooms. Like a setup were you could look in. And that was when i realized i was dreaming. So i opend a door scarred. A man sat in there on a chair, he had gray hair a gray light beard. A normal middle aged man. It was like a futuristic room. Nothing much there. I knew we talked, i dont know what anymore but, a voice told me, that i would told him im dreaming something terrible would happen. So i didnt. He wanted to make a picture or i wanted to make a picture. I dont know what i know was. There was this voice again. Telling me, if i wouldnt wake up now, i never will. I started trying to wake up. I needed more then 5 times before i was able to wake up fully. Like i blinked i was still there, it was like someone helped me pulling me out of it

5. I was at home, i dont remember what exactly happend in my home anymore. But this why i stargtwriting down my dreams. So i was at home and looked to clock who spinning increadibly fast. And in that second i knew i was dreaming. The floor under me cracked and the wall behind me dissapeared. I was floating around in the universe. The diffrent colours the stars. I just remember floating around.

So uhm its from new to old. I have a lot more. Some scarry some really....weird. buts always my old house and the basment there. It was a big old house. The basment was also really big. I had always been terrefyed of it. It was a lot of rooms and doors. And lets say, there happend some weirs things. It was never really dangerous but the vibe of it? Was at least scarry, damn even right now i get goosebumbs talking about it....

[corruptedsilence]

if u want to know. Daria said duke was turned at 36 spesifically to make the relationship more creepy. Despite imo there being literal no need for this. I could pass certain behaviors and things because duke i had thought was a stunted 20 year old.

But by no making him a stunted 36 year old it recontextualizes everything?? Because instead of two ficked up young adults you now have a grown ass man preying on a newly turned 18 year old who os kept constantly drinking alcohol, not sober, and mentally duressed.

Stated one of the only rasons he hasnt had sex with missi is because he doesnt have his dick yet.

But to me duke knows missi is 17-18. And continues to persue her despite also knowing of her alcoholism most of the time and just. It turns duke from a vampire who hasnt grown up to an actual perspn preying on a recently legal adult. And highkey to me throws off any idea missi in canon could be as worse kr equally bad as duke who is a full ass man who is informed who hes with and still chooses to do what he does.

Especially since there was no indication there was 19 years that passed from duke running away and him being bitten. On top of that especially so since we arent going to learn about anything with duke in that 19 years. It was only added to make the relationship more creepy and bad. Which we already understood but moments that are romantic now have a sickening twist imo to them which i dont. Im not dealing with on this blog.

Knowing duke is made to habe been turned 2ce missis age just for the purpose to make him more creepy and borderline predatory is just not what i agree with and feel disgusted kts portayed as romantic at all with them cuddling or dancing or bat-cuddles. I legit feel ill about having shipped them at all before now and highkey fighting off panic attacks. Like pls disclose that ur 2nd protagonist is being fucking predatory if you want it to be part kf ow people see him. Because its not portrayed well and its not hinted in the slightest. I cant event ell what abuse to take seriously half the time.

Anyway im moving blogs changing missi and the canon for my own mental sake.

[billionairesitgirl]

Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.

KEEP TRYING !!!

Yes i screamed it...  but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.

Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying..... 

(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)

The following is also important 

1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?

Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes. 

(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making. 

(b) what makes them mistakes 

(c) Would those actions have worked out better in something else or displayed to someone else 

(d) who and/or what would this action work on

2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of... 

Make 3 categories

 .....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...) 

There is a fine line between being kind to yourself  and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong

......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?

.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.  

Man plans and God unplans ... 

However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)

3.)  What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it

4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried. 

5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself. 

Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing. 

Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present. 

She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.

But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark.  As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest.  The men moved on from her. 

My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core

6.) Standard - 

Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?

Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure? 

Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.

Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.

Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc

He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored).  Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”...  Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)

But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.

My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.

Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.

7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it?  Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off? 

How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person

8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there? 

There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.

With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a  leg up -  

But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.

What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box? 

Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful. 

Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...

Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive... 

e.g  : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of. 

eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy

e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.

You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS

You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...

Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more;  that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them. 

The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.

Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs... 

With regards to your question...  About certain type of girls ...

The Answer is NO...

Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how

But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.

As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year...  (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is. 

You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.

So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach. 

Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man

#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating

[imagines-she-writes]

Plot: You & Eddie have been together for a a few years now and your brother Mox teases him for not putting a ring on it.....

Warnings: fluff , swearing...

'Soo...when are you gunna put a ring on my sisters finger then?...cus I ain't gettin' any younger '

Eddie blushed hard as Renee slapped her husband upside of the head 'ow!'

'Jon! Honestly Eddie ignore him....hes just must be on his man period and the filter between his mouth and his brain is outta action'

'You mean he had one to begin with?'

Y/N came bustling through the patio doors with plates of food ready to bbq.

'And for your information dear brother...just how long did it take for you to marry Renee? Hmm..?'

'Smart ass' jon grumbled.

Eddie and Renee chuckled. Eddie set the food onto the grill and handed you a beer.

You had met Eddie through Jon and had thought he was funny & sweet. You two had hit it off right from the start but Eddie was too nervous to ask you out. It wasnt untill Renee suggested that her Jon you & Eddie went for a double date that you two went for a date just the two of you. Eddie pulled out all the stops that day taking you to walk shelter dogs & play arcades. Simple but you loved it. Every month since Eddie had taken you out on a date night as promised.

Jon was happy that you had found someone decent who respected you and treated you like an absolute queen.

'Now wheres my beautiful Nora?' You asked plonking down next to Eddie.

'She's napping right now. Teething is a dick'

'Aww poor thing' cooed Eddie.

After eating and drinking and catching up you all said your goodbyes making plans to do something all together again soon.

In the car Eddie was quieter than usual.

'Babe...what's wrong?' You pried gently, hand on his leg.

Eddie sighed deeply. 'Ya know i love you right?'

Your brow furrowed 'of course i do...and i love you too....is this about what Jon said earlier?'

'I guess....but he's right though. I shoulda wifed you up years ago...'

'Maybe but we are happy arent we? We love each other so who cares we arent married?'

You silently cursed your brother although you knew he was coming from a good place.

When you pulled into the drive Eddie turned to face you.

' I love you Y/N....and I promise that when the time is right...I will put a ring on your finger and wifey you up'

'Ohh Eddie....please dont take my idiot brothers words to heart.. it will happen we want it to happen..ok?' You reassured him.

'C'mon I want to spoon you all night my little cuddly bear'. To you there was something safe and reassuring about being in Eddie's arms. His hugs were legendary. They made you feel safe secure and loved.

A few weeks passed and you noticed Eddie was acting strange. Secret phone calls and disapperaring for hours on end. You would be lying if it didnt worry you.

'You ok Y/N? You seem kinda distracted'

'Yeah...no....I don't know Renee. '

'Spill c'mon. You look like you haven't slept in days...' you sighed.

'I think Eddie is cheating on me.'

Renee's face dropped 'okay.. not what i was expecting.... what makes you say that? ...or think that? '

You shrugged. It sounded stupid but you couldnt stop this gut feeling that something was up.

'Ever since Jon made a comment about us not getting married he's been acting super weird ya know? Like constantly reassuring me he loves me, but acting super shady like secret phone calls and being gone at weird times that I know arent work related...' you couldnt help the stray tears that fell.

'Damn it!' You mumbled wiping your tears. You hated crying let alone crying infront of others.

'Ohh sweetie. I doubt hes cheating in you. And Jon's an ass for sticking his nose in. But trust me....Eddie's not cheating hunny....he'd be dead if he was...' you both chuckled at that comment.

Renee grinned to herself ... 'lets go shopping get our nails done our hair the lot ... we deserve it after that I quit match'

You shuddered internally remembering the bloody match.

Hitting the shops with Renee you relaxed and got a manicure and your hair done. You both stopped for a coffee.

Your phone buzzed.

* mad king 👑* I love you baby.... meet me at the cliff top bar at 7.30pm. Wear your new dress too.

How did Eddie know you had brought a new dress? Renee!

'Renee!...'

Mean while...

'Bro this has to be perfect ok? Like nothing can wrong...oh god i feel sick...what if she refuses and i look a fool!?'

'You mean more than you do already?'

'Real funny Mox... '

'Relax dude of course shes gunna say yes...'

To say Eddie was nervous would be an understatement. He was panicking. What if you didnt show? Or you said no?.

He had put so much effort into making tonight special he had neglected you admittedly so that wasn't helping his nerves.

'Dude Renee said that their now getting ready..go shower and all that'

'Good idea'

'Y/N... wowee you hot tamale...look at auntie Y/N Nora '

You smiled. You looked great and felt amazing.

' I dont know why im going...'

'Because you love him...and something tells me you will regret it if you dont'

'Okay....what's going on. You and Jon have been acting shady all day...'

'My lips are sealed'

'Of course they are' You mumbled to yourself. Right on time you pulled up to the cliff top bar. You locked the car and looked around for Eddie.

'Y/N'

You spun on your heel to see Eddie standing there all dressed up in a suit. A boquet of flowers in hand..

'Eddie...whats going on?'

Eddie came over to you in a few strides.' Im glad you came...'

'Well you can thank Renee for that'

'You look amazing. Although you always do...shall we walk?'

'Sure' Eddie held your hand as you both walked along the cliff top. 'Follow me'

'Where are we going?' You asked.

'You'll see' he grinned.

After a few minutes you came to an empty spot. There was fairy lights strung up and a picnic blanket laid on the ground with various food and a wine. Very romantic. Soft music was playing gently in the background.

'What's this?'

'This my Queen is for you...'

'Ohh Eddie its beautiful ' you gasped.

You both sat down & he poured you a drink each.

'Im sorry I've been abit of a dick'

' I thought you didnt want me and was having an affair '

'What?! No! No way baby I'd never do that. Ever. I love you.'

'I love you too' you smiled.

'Wanna dance?'

'Sure' Eddie helped you up to your feet pulling you closer to him. You swayed together enjoying every moment. You noticed how sweaty Eddie was his heart was racing, palms sweating.

'Babe are you ok? Your sweating buckets'

'Ohh ha ha yeah im fine could you get me a drink baby please'

'Sure'. You left your spot in Eddies arms starting to get worried about your love.

How ever when you turned around...

'Y/N you mean the world to me. I would be lost without you by my side. You're my biggest supporter. I wanna be with you for the rest of my life. You make me the happiest luckiest dude alive...will you marry me?'

You gasped....this was not expected. your hand flew to your mouth.'Yes! Oh my god yes!'

Eddie couldn't stop the grin that spread on his face as he slipped the ring on your finger..

''I love you Eddie"

'I love you too darlin'" you embraced your new fiancee.

'About damn time too!'

'You was in on this?' You exclaimed.

'Yeah...Eddie was soo nervous...it was sickening...what if Y/N doesnt come? What if Y/N says no...drove me nuts.'

You couldnt help but chuckle.

You all celebrated your engagement with champagne on the cliff top with Jon and Renee.

' it's true babe. I was sick with nerves. I thought you wouldnt turn up so i roped Renee in to help '

'Im glad you did...hubby'

'Heres to us' you toasted planning a wedding in your head already.

Okayy so that was it! I'm new too all of this so please bear with me whilst I get into my swing! Much love!

[theultimatefanficwriter]

Secret Admirer

Commission by Upperstone on Wattpad!

You paced back and forth nervously around your dorm room as you waited for your friend Leon to arrive. You glanced over at the bento box with a note on top of it and bit your lip.

Ding dong!

You looked over to the door, all of your nerves hitting you at once. You walked over and opened it, smiling when you saw Leon. "Hey, Leon! Thank you so much for coming!" You greeted him.

"Well your text made it sound kinda urgent." Leon replied as you allowed him inside.

You chuckled nervously as you closed the door. "I...may have over exaggerated just a bit. I just really need your help." You walked over to the bento box and held it out to him.

Leon grinned when he saw it. "Oh, what? You made me lunch?!" He glanced at the note on top and smirked. "Oh...is this a confession of your love for me?~ Knew you had a crush."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. "Not on you, rockstar wannabe." You snapped playfully. "This is for someone else. I need you to give it to them. But you can't tell them it's from me!"

The red head raised a brow. "And who exactly won your heart before I could claim it?" He asked, winking at you.

You sighed, used to his flirting by now. "It's....it's for Mondo." You murmured.

"Mondo?!" He exclaimed. "You're into scary biker dudes?"

You blushed lightly. "Y-yeah, I guess. He's not that scary when you get to know him! He's really sweet."

"To you, Chihiro and Taka maybe." The ginger grumbled. "I swear, he's my bro, but he still scares the hell outta me. And you really have a crush on him?"

You nodded. "I do. But...but I can't tell him. Not yet at least. So when you give it to him, just tell him it's from...his secret admirer."

"And why ask me? You coulda gotten Chihiro or Taka to do this."

You batted your eyelids at him. "Because you're such a nice guy you would do your bestest female friend this one small favor?" You replied, sticking out your lip for added measure.

He rolled his eyes. "Alright alright, I'll do it. Stop with the begging. It's cute and all, but kinda embarrassing."

You chuckled. "Thaaaaaank you, Leon." You thanked the baseball star, giving him a hug. "I owe you one."

Your friend sighed and smiled softly at you. "Nah, you don't. If this'll make you happy, then I'll do it. I mean, what else are friends for?" He grinned. "Besides, if Mondo ends up liking you back, maybe he'll stop being such a jackass. Boom! Two friends happy with one swift move."

You covered your mouth and laughed. "You know, you're a really nice guy, Leon."

The Ultimate Baseball Star smirked and turned to the door, the bento box and note in his hands. "'Course I am. I'll text you when it's done. See ya, Y/N." You waved goodbye to each, and Leon left your room, closing your door behind him.

You bit your lip and began pacing again, anxiously waiting for Leon's text message.

Leon left your room and sighed, glancing at the bento box. He smirked and began walking to Mondo's room. The ginger shifted the boxed lunch and rang the biker's doorbell. After a few moments, the man in question opened the door. He grinned when he saw his red haired friend.

"Hey there Leon! Wassup, buddy?" Mondo greeted him.

Leon returned the grin. "Hey, cornhead!" He chuckled, earning an eye roll from Mondo. The baseball star held the bento box out towards the gang leader, the note sitting on top.

The pompadour wearer raised a brow. "The hell's this?" He asked, suspiciously examining the items his red haired friend was holding.

"A gift from your secret admirer." The messenger informed him, a smirk on his face.

Mondo's eyes widened. "What?!" He exclaimed, basically snatching the gifts from the other boy. "Who is it!?"

Leon's smirk widened and he shrugged. "Sorry." He made a zipping motion across his lips. "I have been sworn to silence."

The biker gang leader glared at the other, clearly not amused. "Leon, seriously?"

"I made a promise, dude! Aren't you the one that's always so high strung about keeping your promises?" The athlete asked, raising a brow.

Mondo sighed. "Fuck you, dude."

"Love ya too, bro." Leon chuckled and gave the angry man a salute before turning on his heel. "Welp, have fun figuring out who your admirer is! See ya!" He left grinning, pulling out his phone to text you that the mission was complete.

Mondo, meanwhile, closed the door with an annoyed sigh. He turned and placed the bento box on his dresser, then opened the envelope. He pulled out the note within and read it.

Hi, Mondo!~

I'm really sorry for having this anonymously delivered. I really want to tell you I like you, but I just don't have the courage. I promise I'll confess eventually!

So...yeah. I really like you. I've liked you for a long time. You're just so caring and protective behind that tough guy act. You're kinda like a poppa bear! Heh.

Anyway, this won't be the first time I give you lunch. I've noticed you don't tend to eat much, so I figured you just don't have time to make your own. I hope you enjoy! I made it myself!

See you around! <3

Mondo couldn't help but smile as he placed the note back into the envelope. Someone had a crush on him. Someone actually, genuinely liked him! He was ecstatic! Placing the note to the side, he looked to the clock. Seeing that it was about lunch time, he smiled and picked up the bento box, happily making his way to his regular lunch spot.

You made it the place you and your friends usually ate together. Leon, Taka and Chihiro were there already, eating their lunch. "Hey guys!" You greeted them cheerfully as you took your seat.

"Hi, Y/N!" Chihiro waved at you, smiling softly.

"Sup?" Leon nodded upwards in greeting.

"Good afternoon, Y/N!" Taka beamed. "How has your day been?"

You blushed lightly, recalling what you had had Leon do. The boy in question noticed and smirked.

"Y/N has had a very busy morning!" He answered for you. "She confessed to Mondo!"

Your two other friends' eyes widened, Taka actually choking on the water he had been drinking. "You did?!" They repeated in unison.

"W-well, kinda." You stammered, opening your bento box. "I had Leon deliver an anonymous note. I'll tell him eventually! When I'm braver!" You defended yourself when Taka sighed and shook his head. "I...was actually kind hoping you two would...help?" You poked your lip out in a pout like you had to Leon, looking between your two friends pleadingly.

"Of course we'll help!" Chihiro agreed, giggling softly. "We just have to deliver notes, right?"

"And bento boxes." You told him before turning to Taka. "...Taka?"

The hall monitor frowned. "...you promise you'll tell him eventually?" He asked, glancing at you. "Playing with a man's heart is that a nice thing to do!"

"I will! I swear!" You assured him. "I just...need to gather my courage first."

The boy in white was quiet for a moment before letting out a sigh and nodding. "Very well, then. I will help you!"

You smiled widely and opened your mouth to thank them all when a familiar voice interrupted you.

"Hey! Guys! Guess what?!"

You all turned, and your heart did a flip as you saw Mondo come to a stop beside the four of you.

"What is it, bro?" Taka asked excitedly.

The biker took a seat between you and his best friend. He grinned as he pulled out a bento box, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Someone made me lunch!" He explained. "Apparently I have a secret admirer!"

"That's incredible, bro!" The moral compass exclaimed, grinning at the biker. "Who is it?!"

Mondo rolled his eyes. "That's where the 'secret' part comes in, bro." He pointed out. "I have no idea who it could be."

You pat Mondo's shoulder, smiling softly. "Well we're all excited for you, Mondo!"

"And proud!" Leon added. "Who knew you hadn't already scared all the girls off yet?!"

Your crush glared at baseball star and reached across Taka in order to smack the ginger upside the head. You all laughed, and ate your lunches together, Mondo theorizing about who the admirer could be.

This continued for some time, you making lunches and personalized notes for Mondo and having either Chihiro, Taka, or Leon deliver them. The biker wasnt thrilled when he realized three of his four closest friends knew who his secret admirer was and was keeping it from him, but he only really pushed Leon on it since Taka was his bro, and nobody messed with Chihiro.

Luckily, the rock star wannabe kept his mouth shut, not giving the increasingly annoyed biker so much as a hint.

About a week had passed, and your courage was slowly growing. You felt like you would be able to tell Mondo soon. You made your way to your regular lunch spot, and smiled when you saw all your friends already there. You giggled softly when he saw Mondo in Leon's face. As you approached, you could hear the conversation.

"Come on, Leon! Just gimme a little fuckin' hint!" The lavender eyed boy begged. "It's been a damn week. I need to know who she is!"

The redhead shrugged, smirking smugly. "Sorry dude. For the hundredth time, I've been sworn to silence. I'll be exiled if I tell you anything."

"A-are there not any hints in the notes she's been giving you?" Chihiro suggested, smiling and waving at you as you took your seat between him and Mondo.

"Hey, Y/N." Mondo greeted you as he thought. He reached into his pocket and pulled out several sheets of paper.

"You kept all the notes?" You asked, unable to keep your stomach from doing a little flip.

Mondo nodded as he read over the notes. "Nah, there arent any hints or anything. They're super cute. though. Look at this one!" He held the note out, and the rest of you gathered around, Taka reading it aloud.

Dear Mondo,

Hi again! Leon told me you like the lunches I make. I'm glad! I was kinda worried you'd hate them. I'm not the best cook, but I feel like the Ultimate Cook hearing that you enjoy them!

Heh, sorry that was kinda lame. I hope you dont think I'm weird or anything. You just make me really happy. I'm glad you're my friend....though I hope we can be more soon.

Anyway, have a good lunch! See you soon! <3

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Chihiro gushed.

"Indeed! Whoever you're secret admirer is must care deeply for you!" Taka agreed.

Mondo let out a happy sigh and pocketed the note. "Yeah, seems like it. Still cant believe someone actually likes me this much. I...I hope I meet her soon."

"I'm sure you will." You assured Mondo, smiling warmly at him. "It takes a lot of courage to confess to your crush. I'm sure she just needs some time."

Mondo nodded, beaming at you. "Yeah, you're right. I dont wanna rush things if she ain't ready. Man, I just wish I knew who it was! Hey, Chihiro." He turned to the programmer. "Who all have we narrowed the possibilities down to?"

The smaller boy beamed and pulled out his laptop, pulling up some notes. You all spent the rest of lunch looking at them.

"Ok, so we've narrowed it down a bit." Mondo said as you and your friends began making your way to the dorms. "It can't be Sakura or Aoi. They're together."

"Celeste and Kyoko have been dating for a while, so it's not them either!" Taka pointed out.

"And Toko is still crazy about Byakuya. I doubt she'd go for a muscle brain like you." Leon added, smirking at Mondo.

The biker rolled his eyes. "Shut the hell up, tiny dick." He snapped.

"So that just leaves Sayaka, Junko, Mukuro, and Y/N!" Chihiro said before the conversation devolved into fighting. The programmer smiled at you, and you gave a grateful smile in return.

"Nah, you can take off Junko." Mondo said. "Even if she is my secret admirer, you don't stick your dick in crazy. Big bro always said that."

Leon snorted, and you couldn't help but giggle at that.

"Oh yeah. And take Y/N off, too." The biker continued, causing the rest of you to stop walking. Mondo stopped as well and slowly turned to look back. "...What?"

"Why are you taking Y/N off the list?" Taka asked, trying his best to not give anything away.

The lavender eyed boy shrugged. "She's one of my best friends. I'm pretty sure I'd know if she was secretly crushin' on me." He flashed you a grin. "I know her too well for something like that to slip past me. Ain't that right, Y/N?"

You felt your heart sink. Unsure how else to respond, you forced a smile and nodded. "Y-yeah! Right!"  Your three other friends gave you a sad look.

"Well!" Mondo clapped, beaming. "That means it's either Sayaka or Mukuro! It shouldn't be too hard to figure out which one!"

You bit your lip, and began fast walking to your dorm. You heard Mondo call your name, but you ignored him, calling back some excuse of being tired and needing a nap.

You closed your door behind you and sighed. You felt heartbroken. After all that work, it was for nothing. Mondo doesn't even consider you an option. You sniffed and felt tears form in your eyes. You wiped at them as you walked over and sat on your bed.

"Of course he doesn't consider me an option...why would he ever like me?" You murmured, pulling your knees into your chest. You heard your phone go off, and you looked at it. You bit your lip when you saw Mondo's name.

Mondo: Hey. You alright? I know you said you were tired, but you ran off pretty quickly. Did...did something happen?

You sighed and turned off your phone, tossing it gently to the side and falling backwards onto your bed. You rolled onto your side and curled up, closing your eyes with a soft sigh. "Maybe I should stop with the notes and bento boxes...I should just give up on telling him how I feel." You let out a deep sigh as you began to slowly fall asleep. "Its...clear he doesn't feel...the same..."

Mondo checked his phone for the tenth time this hour. Taka tilted his head. "You've been checking your phone constantly the entire time we've been in your room! What's wrong, bro?!"

The biker sighed and ran his fingers through his pompadour. "It's Y/N. The way she ran off earlier got me really worried, so I texted her. She....hasn't responded. Now I'm worried something might be wrong."

The prefect nodded as Mondo finished speaking. "Well, it makes sense as to why she was upset." He said, glancing down at the homework he had been working on. "She put an awful lot of work into those notes and lunches, and you basically say you don't consider her a possibility!"

The gang leader blinked, slowly looking over to his friend. "...what?"

Taka dropped the pencil he had been holding. "I...did not mean to say all that."

Mondo's eyes widened and he grabbed Taka by the shoulders, shaking the boy. "Y/N is my secret admirer?! She has a crush on me?!"

Taka nodded, grabbing a hold of Mondo's hands and carefully peeling them off his shoulders. "Yes to both of those questions. I wasn't supposed to tell you."

The lavender eyed boy stood up suddenly, grabbing his belongings and rushing out of his room. "I-I'll be back, bro!" He called before shutting the door behind him.

Taka sighed and shook his head, focusing back on his work.

You awoke from your nap to a series of loud, harsh knocks on your door. You blinked open your eyes slowly, rubbing them to get all of the sleep out. As you slowly sat up, your doorbell was suddenly rang several times. You sighed and stumbled over to the door, opening it. "Ye-Mondo!" You interrupted yourself in surprise when you saw your best friend standing there, finger still on the doorbell.

"Y/N!" He greeted you. "You're ok! You didn't answer my text so I got concerned!"

You sighed and stepped to the side so Mondo could enter your room. When he did, you closed the door behind him. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was just...really tired." You lied.

Mondo sat down on your bed, turning to look at you. "So you aren't upset at what I said earlier?"

You sat beside him and shook your head. "Why would that upset me? You were right! We're best friends, and know each other so well!" You forced a smile on your face.

Mondo sighed. "Yeah, well look how true that was." He muttered. "I couldn't even tell you liked me." Your eyes widened at this and you opened your mouth to respond, but Mondo cut you off. "Taka told me. He didn't mean to. It just kinda slipped out."

You bit your lip and looked to Mondo anxiously. "...So?"

He furrowed his brow. "So...what?"

You rubbed the back of your neck. "You're disappointed, aren't you?" You murmured. "You wished it was Sayaka or Mukuro."

"No no no!" Mondo said quickly, holding his hands up and shaking his head. "I ain't disappointed! In fact....I'm kinda relieved. Happy, really."

You tilted your head in confusion. "Huh?"

"Yeah." The gang leader confirmed, smiling softly. "Sayaka is a pop idol, so she's surrounded by press constantly. And Mukuro's a soldier. That's real intense, even for me. But you...you're, well....my best friend. I already now so much about ya."

"But...you didn't think I was the secret admirer." You pointed out.

Mondo shrugged. "Well, that was because I'm an idiot who thinks I know everything, when clearly I'm clueless."

You couldn't help but let out a chuckle at that. He copied you, and the previously tense atmosphere disappeared. You smiled at him. "So...You accept my confession then?"

Mondo grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I do. I uh..." He pulled at his collar and looked away, his face a light red. "I've actually liked you for a while now. Just haven't had the balls to admit it."

Hearing that seemed to lift a weight off you. You giggled happily and lunged at Mondo, throwing your arms around him. He laughed and did the same, holding you close to his chest. You looked into his eyes for a moment before slowly closing your eyes and pressing your lips against his.

He smirked into the kiss and deepened it, lightly rubbing his hands up and down your back. The two of you stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the other's embrace.

Words: 3,201

[sleepingcrisis]

*Ahem*

AU where Kojiro, Ainosuke, and Tadashi are con artists who are trying to Con famous calligrapher Kaoru Sakurayashiki out of his fortune.

They underestimate his witt and soon the calligrapher has all three of them under his thumb.

Bonus:

Kaoru doesn't really want them around but they won't leave until they have conned him (at least that is the excuse they come up with (and by they I mean Kojiro and Ainosuke)). Anyway he puts them to work watching over children that he is the godfather to.

***************************************************

"Read the fine print sweetie," Kaoru hummed as he set his brush down since the three storming in had caused a mistake in his brushwork. Damn idiots.

"What?" Ainosuke snatches the paper from Kojiro and Kaoru stared up at the three with boring golden eyes. His chin in the palm of his hand as he takes in their presence. Kojiro is a brute to put it simply, but Tadashi and Ainosuke are much more put together. Perhaps he can make this work after all.

"So now that you three have effectively signed your lives away to me unless you can come up with the money, I suppose you three can leave me alone now instead of playing this game? I can put you to work but I don't need three filthy criminals working for me—"

"Criminals?" Kojiro cut him off with a glare.

"Yes. Criminals," Kaoru sighed softly. "Carla?"

The small hologram projects over his table as he begins to put away his supplies. He wasn't in the mindset to practice his art anymore.

"Nanjo Kojiro: failed business owner. Criminal record including; theft, tax evasion, assault.

"Shindo Ainosuke: Former politician. Criminal record including; theft, tax evasion, assault, money laundering, traffic violations, DUI, Fraud.

"Kikuchi Tadashi: assistant to Shindo Ainosuke. Criminal record; possession of a weapon, associated with other crimes but never convicted." Her voice robotically supplied.

"Do you three think I don't do research on who I let into this building? Your phoney names gave you away for too easily and I honestly thought I would have more of a challenge with trying to find your actual identities but that didn't take very long either," Kaoru explained as he got up from where he was sitting and carefully adjusted his dark gray yukata. "So you three try and get me to sign over my fortune just like that? I expected more out of you three," he rounds his table and pulls out his fan from his sash and carefully tilts Tadashi’s head over. The green eyed man was always looking at the ground.

"Especially you, thought you were smarter since the brains has to come from one of you," Kaoru hummed. He countinued to walk past them. Tapping Kojiro and Ainosuke on the cheek with his fan not too gently.

"So what do you want us to do?" Kojiro asked.

"I just said I want you three gone? No need to work for me—"

"No. We will stay and work," Ainosuke agreed and stifled his grin into a polite smile. Kaoru’s eyes narrowed before he realized what they were up to.

"Ah. You still wish to steal from me? Okay fine. You three may work for me, but if you don't con me from my wealth by the time you have worked off the money you owe then I want all three of you gone and if you arent then I will make you three disappear got it?" Kaoru asked with a polite smile.

"Understood," Kojiro and Ainosuke replied.

"Understood," Tadashi agreed in a much softer voice.

"Wonderful," Kaoru hummed.

•••••

"What are we doing here?" Kojiro asked. They were at a school to be precise. An elementary school.

"Babysitting," Kaoru informed. "I godfather three children and if any of you touch a hair on their heads I will kill you," Kaoru’s voice deepened slightly.

"Why do we have to be here?" Ainosuke clarified Kojiro’s earlier question.

"Because you dimwitted fools insist on following me around."

"I meant at the school," Ainosuke clarified.

"Because they wanted to be picked up today," was all the explanation the three men recieved before Kaoru took a step forward when two boys came shooting out of the building with a third trailing behind and demanding that they slow down.

They make an effort to bulldoze Kaoru down by hugging him and Kaoru simply holds them close and leaves space for the third.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Kaoru! Can we get ice cream today? Pleeeease!" The red haired one whined and clutched onto the fabric of Kaoru’s yukata as the third boy finally joins them in their puppy-dog-eyed begging.

"I suppose that would be okay," Kaoru said and gently ruffled the red haired boys hair.

"Mutts, introduce yourselves," Kaoru said and turned to the three older men with a very serious expression. They weren't sure if they should be using false names or not, but they supposed Kaoru would have mentioned a preference if he had one. Besides if they swapped between the two it was only a matter of time before a fuck up occurred.

"Nanjo Kojiro," the green haired male grumbled and nodded in their direction.

"Oh uh, Tadashi," the black haired male gave a friendly smile.

Ainosuke rolled his eyes before he kneeled down to he eye level with them and extended a hand. "Shindo Ainosuke, but if that is a mouthful then just Adam is fine," he said with a smile.

Kaoru smiled slightly when the three boys eagerly went to shake Adam’s hand. "Take notes," Kaoru mentioned and it was clearly directed at Tadashi and Kojiro. "You three, don't be rude," he tacked on.

"I'm Reki! This is Langa and Miya!" The red haired boy performed introductions for them and pointed to the blue haired boy and then the black haired boy.

Well Kojiro certainly couldn't let himself be one upped by Ainosuke of all people.

"Well aren't you three cute—"

"I am not cute you asshole—"

Miya's cussing was cut off with a smack to the back of his head with Kaoru’s fan. "Should I tell your mother about your mouth?" He asked and watched Miya's face quickly morph to some sort of fear before he spouted out apologies. "No harm done, he is a gorilla after all. Let's just get going," Kaoru said and ended up having to hold Miya and Langa's hands as Reki skipped ahead.

"So we are actually doing this," Kojiro muttered.

"I'm not sure what you two expected from this," Tadashi muttered and began to follow along. Keeping his distance as they were instructed to even if Kojiro and Ainosuke never listened to instructions.

They ended up getting ice-cream. Well the kids did and Kaoru got a smoothie. After that was the park where it was found out that Kaoru couldn't really play tag in traditional attire and instead made the other three pick up the slack for it. Turns out Tadashi wasn't a very fast runner and Kojiro was a lot better with kids then initially suspected.

"Damn con artists," Kaoru muttered from his spot on the bench.

They spent the day running around, well everyone but Kaoru ran around, until eventually the sun was going down and Miya was curled up in Kaoru’s lap.

"Okay let's head home," Kaoru eventually decided and lifted Miya up as he got up.

"I want to be carried, my legs are tired and I'm hungry and I think I'll starve!" Langa whined dramatically.

"Oh you are fine, besides I can't carry both of you at the same time," Kaoru mentioned. "And your mothers have food at home."

Either way Langa looked to the next most reasonable option before whispering to Reki briefly and soon they were both trying to get onto Kojiro’s back who huffed and stumbled forward.

"Hey you-"

"Nanjo, watch yourself," Kaoru mentioned as he walked.

Kojiro rolled his eyes and gently adjusted the kids and soon had both of them hanging onto his back with his arms holding their legs. It was uncomfortable as hell but they seemed happy.

Kaoru insisted on walking each of them all the way home so it took awhile but eventually they had every kid dropped off.

"Well two out of three of you did well today," Kaoru mentioned.

"Oh such high praise, and which one of us blundered," Ainosuke asked sarcastically.

Kaoru pivoted to turn around and began to head towards the three before he grabbed Tadashi by his jacket and tugged him forward. He reached into his jacket and pressed a hand against his chest before searching around and pulling a small hand gun out. Tadashi seemed relatively unfazed the entire time even as the other two watched. "Kikuchi? If you ever bring a weapon around my family ever again I'll make sure that it is the last time you ever have the honour of being around them," Kaoru whispered dangerously low before he put the gun back and adjusted Tadashi’s jacket to fix him back up into his pristine condition.

"When did you notice?" Kojiro asked. The tone of his voice gave way that he supposedly was unaware of this.

"At the park. You can't do that much running around and expect me not to notice. Miya pointed it out though," Kaoru explained and turned to countinue walking.

"You three are my dogs, bound to me until you can prove to be intellectually superior or work off your debt. Now you do as your master commands you and not bring weapons around my loved ones. Do we understand each other?" Kaoru asked and tilted his head to look back at them.

"Understood," each spoke with varying degrees of frustration or anger in their tone. Ainosuke with gritted teeth, Kojiro with a fake smile, and Tadashi as blank as always.

"I'm glad we understand eachother my pets," Kaoru turned and countinued down the sidewalk. Pink hair swishing gently behind him and the fabric of his clothing swishing with each step and each breeze that passed by as the sun set in ground of him and highlighted the edges of Kaoru’s figure.

They followed after him anyway, for they were the dogs and he was indeed their master.

They had the contract to prove it.

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

While i avoid shien/wish/ect and think you should avoid those places, i will never judge anyone, especially lower class, disabled, or fat people, from buying there. A lot of those people don't have access to those things. There may be reasons that they can't buy from walmart or target or something. And a lot of those stores that they may have access to may still be as curropt as shein. But shein is cheaper and has more options for plus sized/disabled people. And not everyone can just thrift because thrifting is rlly hit or miss for me as a skinny person, and as someone who likes to thrift, i can say that i barely see any plus sized outfits at thrift stores. I avoid fast fashion and believe we should limit buying from them, but i think we shouldn't send death threats to people who are just trying to buy clothing that fits them. And i have bought from shein before (mostly before i knew about their curroptness) but i do make sure it is something that will last a while and is good quality. As much as we should avoid fast fashion, some people are not able to do that and we need to be understanding. And the people can but still do buy from shein might have their reasons and we shouldn't assume that they dont care automatically because people who buy from shein and know about their issues usually do it because they don't have another option. And while i dont agree with skinny upperclass able bodied people buying 500$ shein hauls of things that they'll throw away within a week, I don't think we should harass everyone who buys from shein that arent visibly disabled or poor. Invisible disabilities exist and they might have financial trouble or something similar. And they don't owe you that information. My mom used to know someone who would stress about having to buy new clothing because the only thing cheap enough for her was thrift stores and she wasnt garunteed to find what she needed, and i wouldn't judge anyone like that for buying from shein because they need clothing and it might be the only place cheap enough for clothing.

I feel that taking down the fast fashion industry can not be as simple as boycotting certain places. We also need to make sure that people have access to clothing that fits them, is comfortable, will last a long time, and preferably sylish. It's not as simple as just saying "dont buy from x y or z" because some people can't do that. As good as i think it is to boycott these places, it isn't as simple as that, we also need to actively make sure that people have access to what they need. As someone who is very into fashion and wants to take down the fast fashion industry, i think that part of our activism needs to include helping people who don't have access to clothing.

[prorevenge]

A stranger scammed me out of $300 online. I tracked him down, called his dad's work phone, and got my money back.

Long post, TL;DR below. Early last year I was deep in depression, spending the Spring in my room (I work in a seasonal industry which pays just enough to live on during the off months.)

All I did was play video games all day which led to me getting into game marketplace sites and planning on starting a side hustle selling in game items and accounts in MMos. I was brand new to the "industry" and didn't have contacts to learn from, so I just went for it and posted my first listing. I got a few hits back early and found an interested "buyer" (I'll refer to him later as C) who told me he was ready to purchase.

The way these transactions are supposed to go is this: A reputable middleman (There were several known MM in the community that I joined) takes in the product and the payment, verifies both, then distributes both ways after taking a cut for their services. This circumvents the "you first" prolem where you have to trust solely in the other guy to not scam you. -Well.. They impersonated a middleman well enough to fool me. I admit that it was 100% on me, I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to start selling so bad and I was glad to see quick hits on my first listing.

So, the "middleman" (To this day I don't know if there was a 3rd person acting as middleman or if it was C all along) takes the buyer's money, then the product which was a high ranked account in a popular competitve game. Suddenly, the MM says there was a problem with the payment and it needs to be redone.

At this point I know game's over and I just got scammed, but I went along with it as a sad parting gift to my first "sale." I message C and asked him how this was going to go. He told me he'll just direct paypal me the $300 now and apologized, which didn't make sense to me (you already scammed me, why haven't you blocked me yet?) I gave him my paypal email.

Conversation goes like this: C- "Sent." Me- "repeats my email same email correct?" C- "F%@& I sent it to the wrong email. I'll call paypal." Me- 3 minutes later "Are you going to send me $300 or no?" C- "I only had $450 in my paypal account, they should be able to refund me over the phone." Me- 5 minutes later "Okay. Progress?" C- "On the phone with them." Me 10 minutes of silence later- ":D" Then he goes offline. I call the MM several times but he's standoffish and won't pick up saying "something something privacy.. you arent giving me a reason to pick up the call." It's clear he's not being real with me.

I don't know what to do at this point as I've never encountered a sudden loss of hard work like that. I'm not a drinker at all but that night when faced with that emptiness while trying to get out of depression, I hit the bottle hard.

The next day I woke up naked on my bathroom floor in the pitch black and sheepishly checked my PC to see if it really happened. Without any hope at all I started googling this kid's two usernames that I knew of. I scanned the internet for every site that had an account with the same username that he used, but only found more scam reports (yep, I wasn't his first victim.) So I gave up.

A week later I came back and did it all over again, but this time I thought to check his discord profile to see if he had any other profiles linked to it (steam, twitch, etc.) and the genius did. I checked his steam profile and wrote down each of his past usernames that looked unique and wouldn't pull a million results.

After hours of scanning each one, I had his name, age (teenager,) city, email, skype, knew he went to chess tournaments as a kid, liked neopets, and found a youtube channel with his class project videos on it. It still wasn't enough though. All the information got me was another two contact methods, and I didn't want to start harassing him.

He ghosted me and emailing him wasn't going to change that. If I was going to get my money back, I needed to contact his parents and I knew this all along. In a last ditch effort I googled his emails again, found his google+ profile, and saw that he had a public photo library (which was discontinued by google very shortly after all this happened.) It had 1 picture. A perfect view of his house, from the street. Street number in view. After some searching without finding much I clicked "More info" on the picture and the the geo-tagged coordinates attatched to the picture appeared.

So now I have the address which I google along with the last name, which leads to me getting the first & last names of both parents. I pop that into trusty whitepages and have everything I need to spring my plan into action. While all this was going on I was updating my friend who lives in the same area as C. He asked if I wanted him to call since he had the same area code. It lined up perfectly so I agreed.

At this point I realize it's March 30th, just two days before April fools and C could probably play this off as some elaborate joke played by his friends so I call my friend off. It was so hard to wait, but we did and we waited long enough that it couldn't be looked at as a joke at all.

Two weeks later in a discord call I give my friend the green light and he calls phone #1. The cell. After a little ringing it cuts to voicemail and we decide to try phone #2, the work phone. This time the phone rang for significantly longer but also cut to voicemail and the message before the beep confirmed we had the right dad. My friend leaves a message saying "Hello Mr. ______, this is _ ______ with (marketplace name's) collection department. We currently have multiple fradulent activity cases open with your son C, totalling x thousands of dollars (I added up all the reports against him which were posted on the site and it totalled thousands, even talked to a couple people who he targeted.) At the moment we're reviewing the most recent case which involved a $300 transaction. If you could please, get back to us between 9am-10pm to resolve these cases. Thank you" All that was paraprased but that was his message.

He was very professional and seemed legit, and even though the dad might listen to it and ignore it we didn't think that was going to happen. It's worth noting that they live in a nice area of a nice state, so there was less of a chance that this would be a financial burden and the parents would likely just want to clear this up.

Two days later, while playing video games (yeah I had a problem.) I get a contact request notification. MY BOY C!

He tells me that he's a good person and he wants to give the account back. I check it and he played 10 games and lost each one which deranked and devalued the account (at this point I pretty much knew his parents were standing over his shoulder watching everything that was said. I could've even been speaking to them directly.) So I told him the account devalued, and I either want what he stole from me (the account at a higher rank) or I want $300. He told me he'll give me the account AND $300 (Parents coming through in the clutch!)

We went through a lot of hoops, trying paypal which he couldn't get to work, a few others and finally got google pay to work after troubleshooting stupid problems which I attriubted to him stalling. It was clear that they were scared of me since I got their info (and regularly called him by his first name throughout the convo as a power move lol) but I assured them I wasn't a bad person and told them to be extra safe of what you upload, especially if you're trying to scam people because when money is involved bad things can happen (playing into his parents who were surely reading it.) I explained the public Google+ upload of their clear to see geo-tagged house which I'm sure his they weren't happy about.

After he sent the money he asked for confirmation that I received it. I confirmed saying "YOU F** DID IT! SO PROUD OF YOU, C!" and he immediately went offline. I danced up and down the hallway and it was probably embarrasingly bad but I didn't care. I don't think the smile was gone from my face for an hour. It was a month long process and with the help of my friend the money was back. I haven't seen my friend in person since then, but when I do I owe him a top notch steak. He refused when I sent him $ online.

Instead of trying to resell the account and start back up in the marketplace I abandoned it all and went another way. I'm currently training for the military and in a much better place, but still have a long way to go.

A lot was left out of this story but it was a long one. I have screenshots of our conversations and I surely won't ever forget it.

TL;DR - I tried selling a video game account to see if I could make a new side hustle and got scammed since I was dumb, inexperienced and decided to trust the internet. I got scammed and took it hard but the scammer left too much of his info public and after a little bit of elbow grease I was able to obtain his & his parent's info and left his dad a voicemail. Two days later the scammer contacted me and gave me the money and the account back, apologizing. I learned from it.

(source) story by (/u/dstrezzd)

[bridgyrose]

What if Ruby survives that white rose 61 prompt and becomes bitter as a result?

Ruby laid down in the grass, bleeding and curling up from the pain. She knew Weiss didnt like her but never realized how far she was willing to go to hurt her. She slowly got up, collapsing from a broken leg, screaming in pain. 

“Well, well, well. If it isnt little Red.” 

Ruby hesitated and looked up to see Roman standing above her. “C-come to settle the score as well?” 

“Normally, I would love to show you why you shouldnt be a huntress, although it does look like someone else beat me to it. Now it wouldnt be any fun.” 

Ruby sighed and winced. “Right. No fun.” 

Roman rolled his eyes. “But to me, it seems like you have a choice to make. You can either stay out here and wait for someone else to find you, although who knows how long that will take or even if they’ll take mercy on you. Or, you could accept my help and I can help you get revenge on whoever did this.” 

Ruby frowned. “And why would you help me?”

“Because then you will owe me. And if you owe me, then that means once you go back to being a huntress in training, I can finally be rid of you.” 

Ruby sighed and curled up. “I’m… not sure I can go back there.” 

“Oh? And why’s that?” 

“The person who did this… was a teammate.” 

Roman laughed a bit. “Oh, that doesnt sound much like a teammate to me.”

Ruby gumbled, her tone starting to sound more bitter. “Stupid Weiss…”

Roman smiled a bit, a thought starting to form in his head. “You know, since you were pretty much left for dead by your teammate, maybe you can get back at them. As long as you arent planning on going back to being a huntress.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“What I mean is this: join me and my colleagues. I’ve seen you fight and as much as I hate to admit it, you’re pretty good. And I know that my employer wouldnt mind having an extra set of hands to help her. Especially if those hands already had an in into Beacon.” 

Ruby hesitated. “I’m not sure I understand.” 

“You see, my employer has something big planned. That dust robbery you managed to stop? Just one of many robberies to help stockpile some dust. And considering your teammate did this to you and your other teammates, hell I’d even say your other friends, havent come looking for you, I’m sure we can conclude that at this time, they see you as replaceable. Expendable. No one will care that you’re gone.” 

Hearing those words hurt, cutting deep into Ruby. She slowly moved herself a bit to see Roman a bit better. “And what exactly would you need me for?” 

“If you so desire to go back to Beacon while helping us, you could be our eyes and ears. I know how these academies work and I know you’ll be able to get access to all of the different mission boards that Ozpin puts up. You can feed us all that information, including any information on hunters that start getting onto my tracks. And while you’re there, I can help you get back at everyone who dared get in your way. Cant imagine a little girl like you was very well accepted at such a young age.” 

Ruby thought for a moment, debating if she could trust Roman. But, he did have a point. Weiss had left her for dead at the hands of a few thugs, and Blake, Yang, even JNPR hadnt come looking for her hours after she should’ve been back. Her team and friends had all abandoned her. She looked up at Roman. “Help heal me up and I’ll join you.” 

Roman nodded. “Oh Neo! I could use a little help here.” 

Neo walked up to Ruby and smirked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Roman smiled at Neo. “Do your thing and get us out of here.” 

Neo smirked and pulled out her parasol, using an illusion to help move Ruby and Roman out of the park, shattering like glass.

[burnedbyshoto]

So Glad

kirishima eijirou x pregnant!reader

warnings: cussing, alcohol, pregnancy, bakusquad

word count: 1,654

a/n: AHAHA i hope yall arent tired of me writing a pregnancy scenario for everyone, because have another one. also the one in which we stan the softest boy in class 1-a, kirishima eijirou as a new dad :,) ENJOY ANON

You were thirty-four weeks pregnant.

So it was safe to say you were ready at any moment to tap out to what felt like a demon sucking the soul out of you from within, that was currently sucker-punching your lungs.

Being pregnant was something you didn’t necessarily enjoy, yes you were excited for the baby girl you would be having, but you hated how pregnancies were just the worst. Pregnant women were such liars sometimes.

Kirishima, your ever so loving and doting husband, was honestly the only reason you hadn’t flipped out at this point. The past eight months he had been by your side, providing for every single weird request you had, every craving, and every massage. It went as far as the two of your realizing that his quirk was actually incredible for massaging, weirdly enough.

“Eijirou, I swear, I will kick your ass if you don’t go out right now!” You threaten as you clutch your stomach, the contractions were hitting you on insane pain levels, but they were still too spaced out to mean anything. “I’ll be okay!”

Kirishima looks at you, his face clouded with worry and unwillingness to go out with the self-proclaimed “Baku-squad,” a name that Bakugou hated.

“Yeah, Kiri, y/n isn’t gonna have the damn baby on the one day you let loose!” Mina cheered as she places a warm hand on your shoulder, “Besides it’s just for a few hours of drinking!!”

“We’re getting wasted,” Sero informs you, and you can’t help but laugh, Kirishima needed to let loose and this may as well be the last time he had the opportunity.

“Well, Kaminari was pre-gaming in our bathroom, so I figured that was your plan.” You tease laughing at the blonde who another ashamed chug of his flask.

“It’s important to pre-game…” Kaminari mumbles as he doesn’t reach anyone’s gaze.

“Hurry up and decide already, Kirishima,” Bakugou sighs his eyes rolling as he seemed to be the second most ready to ditch this night, but you knew better about your husbands best friend. Bakugou enjoyed these outings.

“Go!” You shove Kirishima, waddling him to the door as everyone cheered alongside you. Kirishima needed to let loose tonight, and the Baku-squad was the way he was going to get it.

“Okay but if you need anything, or want me home, let me know!” Kirishima yells over his shoulder as Kaminari and Sero have him by the arms, and you nod your head in agreement. “Let me kiss my wife, guys!”

You can’t help but roll your eyes as Kirishima comes back, his hands on your swollen belly as he places a gentle kiss on your lips. Tender and sweet and not ready to let go. “Come on lover boy! The honeymoon phase was supposed to have ended three years ago!” Kaminari joked as Kirishima continued placing soft sweet pecks on your lips until he was now forcibly removed from your lips.

“It’s not over because I treat her right!” Kirishima claps back, but the wink and a large smile on his face make everyone laugh as you eventually close the door.

You smiled to yourself as you were home alone, and waddle back to the bedroom to watch some horror movie, they were weirdly super funny to you while pregnant. So there you sat an hour later, watching The Ring when you find yourself peeing yourself, no not pee but—

“Oh fuck, my water.”

You could feel the contractions now truly hitting you between the approved time intervals and you resisted a cry of pain as you called your husband, to which was put immediately on voicemail. You sighed, those guys truly didn’t waste any time getting wasted.

“Hi, baby, I know you’ll answer this soon, but I’m heading to the hospital! Our baby’s coming soon!” You chirped despite the heavy pain in your voice.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

Kirishima was drunk. It was only truly thirty minutes into the night and he was plastered. These past eight months he hadn’t been going out during bar nights because he had been so busy with you, and it seemed during that time everyone else’s tolerance shot go drastically while his lowered significantly.

Kirishima was intoxicated to the point that he has no idea where his phone was just in case you called, spoiler alert, it was in his left pocket jean instead of the right.

“Guys!” Kirishima slurred as he put a cheek onto Bakugou’s shoulder, “I’m so happy to become a dad! Bakugou will be its best friend, and all you guys will be like the fun uncles!”

Mina was howling over the fact her childhood friend thought she was going to be a fun uncle, “I’m going to spoiler that baby so much, you’re going to have to keep her from wanting me to adopt her.” Mina says with a cunning smile on her face as she takes another shot.

“The baby’s gonna find you fucking terrifying on first glance, raccoon eyes.” Bakugou rolled his eyes as he took a drink from his beer, “As Ei, said, I’m going to be the BEST FRIEND!”

Okay, so maybe Bakugou’s tolerance was still shit. But the comment at the very least caused Sero and Kaminari to howl with laughter as the pounded the table in an attempt to ease their laughter as Bakugou yelled at them.

“Hold on!” Sero cackles, “Y/n is calling me? Y’ello?”

Kirishima’s concentration is on Sero, why would his beautiful wife be calling Sero? Maybe he taped the door shut as a prank like that one time in high school. But Sero’s face was quickly drained from color, his nods serious, and it was by far the most nervous Sero had ever appeared. What was y/n saying? Kirishima wondered.

“So, uh,” Sero mumbles after the phone call ended. “Y/n is at the hospital, and she’s nearly ready to give birth.”

Silence.

“OH MY GOD, WE HAVE TO FUCKING GO!” Kirishima roars at a Bakugou level as he stumbles off the chair running towards the wrong exit.

“I told you we should’ve gone yesterday!” Mina hisses at Sero as Bakugou and Kaminari race off to capture the redhead.

“How was I supposed to know she was gonna come too early? Isn’t Todoroki’s wife past her due date?!”

“Baka, everyone’s different!”

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

You were quite literally crying, the pain was disgustingly overwhelming as you sat on the hospital bed. It wasn’t like you were resisting the baby’s arrival, because as much as you wanted Kirishima here, you weren’t too sure if you could just lay there.

“How are you feeling, Kirishima-sama?” Your doctor asks, a mask on his face as gloves are administered to his hands.

“So b-bad!” You cry as sweat flushes through your body, why did this hurt so much.

“WE’RE HERE!” A voice screams and you watch in slight horror as your beloved five idiots walk into the delivery room. All of them in scrubs, and all holding up Kirishima who was bawling.

“I’m so sorry love!” Kirishima says as he puts a kiss against your sweaty forehead. “I didn’t mean to miss your call! I am drunk!”

Your eyes soften the slightest amount before they’re clamped in pain. “It’s okay baby, I KNOW THAT—OH MY GOD!” You shriek as the doctor nods.

“Okay, Kirishima-sama I’m going to need you to start pushing. You’ll do it five times for ten seconds each, okay?”

“WHY DO I NEED TO PUSH!” Kirishima panics stupidly his eyes widened as you grab your idiot husbands hand, “Y/n should be—“

“He’s talking about me, my love.” You pant in pain as your grip against his hands starts hardening significantly.

“Oh! Ow, your grip is like my quirk right now!”

“Push!”

And Kirishima can only watch in the tiniest drunken gaze as you begin screaming, your face flushed, death grip on his hand, body quivering. He watches as the hospital scene around him slows drastically, his wife is biting her lip to keep from cussing, nurses running in slow motion, and his friends shaking slowly in excitement.

“Y/n I… I think—“

“The head is out!”

“I… I think imma…”

“You’re almost there!”

“I… I…”

A soft cry is resonating into Kirishima’s head, it’s a newborn cry, and a small baby girl with y/h/c is lifted slightly from behind the medical wraps. It’s all too much for Kirishima as he promptly faints, a smile on his face.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

When Kirishima comes through, he panics. “Y/n!” He calls out, his eyes searching as he sees his wife sitting on the bed across from his, she looks tired and worn, and entirely beautiful.

“Glad to see you’re awake,” You whisper teasing your husband as you show off the sleeping bundle in your arms. “Come say hello.”

Kirishima feels like every step he takes towards the bed is like he’s traveling through cement until he comes and peers at his daughters face. “Oh… fuck.” Kirishima can only say as you gently move to hand the sleeping baby girl into his arms.

“Say hello to your manly papa,” You mumble to the baby as tears fall down Kirishima’s face.

“Hi, Hinata-chan.” Kirishima sniffs at his baby girl, tears shamelessly falling down his face and he comes to meet your own ready eyes, and the next thing he knows his lips are on yours as he thanks you softly. Over and over.

“Thank you, I love you so much.”

bonus!

“I want to see her first!” Mina whispers shrieks as she manages to get into the room first after Kirishima walked over to the waiting room to let them know the baby was ready to meet them.

“Oh Kiri, she’s so adorable!” Mina cooes as she stares at the baby in the cradle.

“We have a question for all of you,” You confess as Kirishima comes to sit on the bed with you, an arm over your shoulder as he presses a kiss to your temple. “Would you all become Hinata-chan’s godparents? We know it’s four of you, and you’re not obligated to!”

“Yes!”

“Fuck yeah!”

“Yeah!!”

“Of course!”

Tears fall both Kirishima parents as they smile at their friends their hangs gripped together, “We’re so glad.”

[eternitas]

I will say it, not to be wah wah victim but because genuinely I just struggle with this.

If you do not know much about a problem or issue, it is so hard sometimes to find footing.

People will quickly say "google is free" but disregard how much BULLSHIT is on there and how everyone can post whatever tf they want on there. That we live in an era where to every issue there is a sleuth of people with counter arguments and if you dont know how to filter, you'll have a hard time.

Yes, marginalized people dont owe opressors or uninformed people jack shit. They aren't here to sit down with you and "do your homework for you", I know that, I get that, it bothers me too when I have to explain stuff about my gender identity and sexuality.

But hell! Even Wikipedia isnt the best source! Yes it is usually looked over by a bunch of admins and shit and you need to cite sources, but last time I checked their definition for certain sexualities the wording and implications were so jarringly transphobic, it was actually a shock. And some cis hetero friends just tried to find what the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality is!

But where do you look? What if you unknowingly read, watch or hear something that is controversial or wrong?

I once read something on a topic, and when I talked about it online was told that i am racist, that my BLM in my name was performative and other very similar accusations.

Now not to be all "i am not racist!", every white toast person is, we all adhere and are part of a systemically racist society and our work is every day and first in us as people. But I'd lie if I didnt say that this intimidated me to search for any more information in fear I might consume something wrong again and might do something wrong.

As a young adult I also was viciously called racist and a facist for expressing that recently seeing so much political stuff involving concentration camp mentions made me incredibly uncomfortable.

I dont know about others, but growing up in germany I am not unfamiliar with that word. I personally am very sensitive to the topic of nazis and the third reich to the point it in class sometimes triggered cry fits and panick attacks. Which didnt help if you had the topic in 3-4 different classes a year.

I dont even know where I am going and I am so glad to being someone nobody really follows because I know otherwise people would accuse me of "maybe you ARE racist" and "stop playing the fucking victim!"

No marginalized person owes anyone to be their teacher or recount their trauma. No person in general owes that to anyone. But I am getting worried about more and more misinformatuon, half information, half truths, twisted truths, misinterpretations, wrong conclusions, etc being spread on the internet. Its so easy to fall for it. It is so easy to forget that some people have not been touched by these topics thanks to their privilege. And some people arent even aware they are misstepping. And the sometimes vicious reaction genuinely misinformed but not ill intended people get can be incredibly disheartening.

I too get upset and furious when I have to over and over and over and over again explain why NO you heterosexuals do NOT need a pretty prideflag and you should under NO circumstances bring it to pride. Its always the same, it always hurts and it always makes me furious and I am sick and tired and dont want to always talk about it. It's painful. But I also know that even tho my anger is justified and my wrath has meaning, the other person might not understand it at first. They might not get why what they said or what the think is wrong.

I dont know it has been on my mind lately. I guess I wished I sometimes knew what sources to trust because there is just way too much garbage in this world...

[macklives]

hi. so..... its been a while huh? feels kinda weird making a message on here, after what??? a month of not posting at fucking all??

and idk how to say that im sorry for taking so long, especially with kallie kinda sticking with me pretty much the whole time i was away. so we both kinda went AFK on everybody. and by god, this has also been the longest gap between updates. so yeah... i feel you all are owed an explanation. 

id like to give a short summary of what went down in my life recently. not so much as an excuse for my disappearance, but bearing in mind, i can't just come back suddenly without a notice as to why it took so long, and then start discussing homestuck theories as if nothing happened, that would be ...weird and off putting. im known as one to talk a lot in a post, so i think its expected. buckle up kiddos, this may be a long one, which you dont have to necessarily read, but im simply putting it out there for you all in case any of you may have been worried or confused. 

ALSO, keep in mind im alright with sharing this information because i needed some time to get over it in order to accept it, and being able to say this stuff means im pretty much ready to move on and go back to what it was like before (which for someone who has trouble focussing, can get quite fucking hard). so here's the last few months in a nutshell:

i got my wisdom teeth pulled so i was both in pain and numb for a week and a half after being drugged up with, idk, the IV they use to knock you tf out and that needle to numb your teeth?? and having those bad boys outta my mouth so that was a fun time. fuck that shit.

uhhh on the more upsetting side of things, a friend of mine recently passed away, but i took some time to recover from that. i didnt want to bum everybody out by liveblogging while in that state, nor did i feel like it was right to make jokes at that time (for obvious reasons) so i took some time off. and while i do still care for that person, after a while you have to come to terms that your life can't evolve around grief, and you have to move on eventually. its been a month and im doing way better than i was in the first week. so you dont have to worry really.. i even heard about the messages friends wrote on discord and let me tell you that i appreciate every response, i love all of them, i love all of you guys, but if any of you worry about me as of today, just know im doing perfectly fine and thats behind me now. so yeah, thats the worst of the news..

on less distressing matters, i changed up my job! i used to be a waitress at a restaurant to get that not so mucho money cash flowing, and now i got a full time placement as an intern (sort of full-time. full-time with student conditions). which in hindsight, to some may not sound like its any helpful, but considering im in my final year of college and i have to explore new places to get experience, id rather go where its needed so i reach that specific goal in mind. and you have to start somewhere, so this is where ill start heading. though i do still have to graduate which will take a lot of stress out of me eventually but it hasnt yet caught up lol... yikes to when that fuse blows in the future. 

and finally, the most frustrating part of the month, idk who it was specifically, the company or the landlord, but eh details arent that important, anyways, the landlord and/or its agency messed up with our rental situation and lost a lot of our info so i had to spend a lot of time trying to get that back while also filling out tax returns bc those were finally put out. so yeah, we kinda just have to wait for a notice, though i personally think everything will be fine. we’re considering moving out eventually, but thats probably gonna have to wait a bit longer. while we’re still angry, the landlord respected that it was out of line and apologised while making it up to us, so that was fair enough.

so YEAH, you can pretty much say its been one hell of a fucking month, and i had barely any time to liveblog let alone be in contact with friends that i kinda missed so fucking much????... i basically didnt want to bring anybody down with me (emotionally or mentally), so i decided to at least give you all a warning that i wouldnt be on for a while, hence the last update a few weeks prior, and to take a break for myself to figure out my situation, to rest, and to try and get healthier despite that wisdom fuck week, which nobody warned me wisdom teeth removals were ABSOLUTE HELL

but... im glad to be back, im not sure ill get back into the rhythm of how things used to be, meaning, posting almost every day....that would have to wait a bit unfortunately. however, i think it would be best if i made a sort of schedule for myself. maybe a liveblog twice a week, starting the next. it would help out a lot. i hope to start off with that at least, and not push myself too hard for hours anymore nor the stress of needing to post daily. i loved it, dont get me wrong, but sometimes it took a lot out of me since i know it takes a lot of my time. that being said, i will be on discord, maybe tomorrow? and probably be more active on there from now on, since everything is sorta cleared in my life and there's no more hectic commotion 24/7. the only thing at this rate stopping me from being active is having family over in the next couple weeks. but otherwise, yeah, its good to be back and im again sorry for my absence once more.

yours, 

mackenzie <33

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 82

[Date: 16/03, 08.05 PM GMT - 16/03, 08.23 PM GMT]

CONTENT WARNING: Mild body horror

[Direct continuation of pt 81]

Maxwell: “god im gonna have to take the towel of my head arent i....”

Jack the Observer: “do it”

fetch: “God can everybody shut up and quit making the panic worse you're scaring him”

Little-K1ng: “fetch, check his head for me? i cant see right now”

kateza: “max, no one is going to be angry at you, ok?”

fetch: “yeah lemme chexk”

Maxwell: “...okay...”

fetch: “yeah lemme see here

...

guys

oh my god guys

you fucking idiots

you scared him over nothing.

those "metallic buds" were literally just tangled locks of hair.”

Little-K1ng: “oh my goD haahha,, ow,, thats kind of hilarious”

Maxwell: “fetch.....”

fetch: “ohhh my fucking god

max its okay”

Jack the Observer: “i don't believe you.”

Maxwell: “no...”

fetch: “its nothing, you're fine”

Maxwell: “I'm not i know what i saw--”

Little-K1ng: “here, max. your hair is kinda straggly, when im feeling better, do you want me to help you style it a little? i dont know how you prefer your hair”

fetch: “max, trust me. the reason it hurts so much is because your hair is matting and its pulling on your scalp”

Jack the Observer: “no no no no no no n on ononono”

Maxwell: “fetch the light was glinted off it”

fetch: “your hairs been greasy, plus you got it wet in the shower”

Maxwell: “But theyre right there

I CAN FEEL THEM”

fetch: “yeah, you can feel your matted tangled hair”

Little-K1ng: “im gonna go put on some coffee,, if yall can stop yelling please”

fetch: “i promise you're fine. i had to deal with mats for a while, this is exactly what mine looked like”

Maxwell: “then mona would be able to see it

no fetch you have to look

behind my ears”

fetch: “I am looking.”

Little-K1ng: “ill help untangle it later when i feel better and the migraine stops sending shooting pains through my eyes, but it could be that max is just frightened from what he saw”

fetch: “and what I see is matted hair”

Little-K1ng: “can someone else help me measure these coffee grounds i cant see it properly :((”

Maxwell: “matted hair isnt gold”

fetch: “max, buddy. you've been having headaches and haven't been sleeping well, and the whole situation with the trial scared you. you're probably just seeing things.”

Maxwell: “i.....i know im not

THE PEOPLE AT MY SCHOOL SAW THEM”

kateza: “i mean we definitely shouldn't just be brushing him off”

fetch: “max, c'mon. it's fine”

Little-K1ng: “arent kids at your school like super mean”

[fetch: “max, c'mon. it's fine”]

Jack the Observer: “you're starting to sound like knight.”

kateza: “i believe max”

Maxwell: “they kept saying all day my hair was puffing out and right before I left one of my friends said it looked like I had something shiny in my hair”

kateza: “is there any way you can get like... a picture of them?”

Maxwell: “i-i can draw them”

Jack the Observer: “that would be lovely”

Raeva: “Did you touch them Max? Because you can't touch halucinations”

[Jack the Observer: “you're starting to sound like knight.”]

fetch: “don't you fucking dare compare me to him.”

Maxwell: “YES I CAN FEEL THEM”

kateza: “So they're something tangible”

Little-K1ng: “hey hey hey hey hey pleas e stop ye ll in g”

Maxwell: “here one momen t ima draw it”

Raeva: “Then he's telling the truth!”

fetch: “you're all just scaring everybody and making everything worse”

Maxwell: “crap sorry sorry sorry i didnt mean to yell please dont be mad”

fetch: “not mad at you, buddy”

Maxwell: “here here here”

fetch: “im just trying to get everyone to calm down”

Maxwell: “like little rose buds”

fetch: “yeah, dude, its matted hair. what you think are little leaves are just tangled bits”

Little-K1ng: “i dont have enough brain power to dedicate to it if fetch says its fine, but max? its alright that you're scared. im not telling you theres nothing there, im telling you to take care of yourself and understand that i am proud that you took the towel off to show us”

Maxwell: “i...thank you but please....why cant you all see it”

Little-K1ng: “i didnt look”

Little-K1ng: “i can feel the back of your head, but it just feels like some little hard chunks of something. it couldbe hair, it couldbe metal, but my senses are massively overloaded and i cant tell the difference”

Maxwell: “okay okay uh do you have a brush?”

Little-K1ng: “...i keep my hair short

kateza: “Mona's not feeling well so it's probably not a good idea to have her check”

fetch: “guys I can tell you that max is fine. nothing is wrong and all you're doing is scaring him so please just stop it so we can help untangle his hair

Jack the Observer: “no.”

Maxwell: “.....”

Jack the Observer: “please consider that you may be in the wrong.

please consider that you may be in the wrong.”

Little-K1ng: “jack, have you considered that maybe you'rejust as scared as max is? i didnt really meet syd, but i know you two were close”

Jack the Observer: “yeah, i am fucking scared. we've lost people to this shit before. it is better that Max is scared than that he gets taken."

fetch: “for fucks sake”

Jack the Observer: “it is better to be fucking safe than sorry. If anything, Crown's taught us that we can't trust ourselves.”

fetch: “we aren't going to fucking lose him

quit catastrophizing”

[Jack the Observer: “yeah, i am fucking scared. we've lost people to this shit before. it is better that Max is scared than that he gets taken."]

Little-K1ng: “correction, in this specific case. you've lost people to specifically this circumstance. it makes sense you would be scared for him, and i understand your struggle here. but i think we should calm down first”

Jack the Observer: “yeah, we won't if you fucking trust him about his own pain??”

kateza: “Would you rather not do anything and find out one morning that Max is gone? Or would you rather believe him, find out that nothing is actually wrong, and then move along?”

fetch: “FOR FUCKS SAKE JIST DROP IT.”

kateza: “... fine.”

Maxwell: “AH”

[Little-K1ng: “correction, in this specific case. you've lost people to specifically this circumstance. it makes sense you would be scared for him, and i understand your struggle here. but i think we should calm down first”]

Jack the Observer: “we. have. all. lost. people. to. this. you have lost Fetch twice.”

Little-K1ng: “please dont yell, fetch, fuckjing o w”

fetch: “EVERYTHING IS FINE YOU ALL ARE PANICKING OVER NOTHING”

kateza: “Sure, whatever. Don't blame us when Max is gone and Page is back.”

Little-K1ng: “fetch please”

Jack the Observer: “yeah, next you're going to tell us that we're "barking too loudly"”

Renboo: “fetch calm down everyones just worried”

Grimm: “Jack,,”

Jack the Observer: “...”

fetch: “fine. you wanna keep scaring the shit out of everybody over some tangled fucking hair, fine. i need to check outside anyway”

Raeva: “istg You don't just touch hallucinations but fine have it your way sorry Max we tried”

[kateza: “Sure, whatever. Don't blame us when Max is gone and Page is back.”]

Maxwell: “......

fetch wait...”

Little-K1ng: “fetch...?”

kateza: “i don't want you to get snatched again, max.”

dreaming: “fuck.. we shouldn't have be so aggressive, i just wanted fetcg to believe max..”

Marcus: “Why are you all yelling”

dreaming: “uh..”

Little-K1ng: “oh, hi Marcus”

dreaming: “who's gonna explain”

Maxwell: “....hi....”

Little-K1ng: “i thought you were sleeping, guess fetch woke you up”

Marcus: “When did I fall asleep what the hell I was just making breakfast”

Renboo: “fighting really doesnt ever get us anywhere-..”

kateza: “hi marcus, max found buds growing out of his head”

Maxwell: “.....”

[kateza: “hi marcus, max found buds growing out of his head”]

Marcus: “Really blunt today huh?”

Jack the Observer: “fetch is being. stubborn. and max is being honest for once only to immediately get yelled at. kinda frustrated about that.”

Marcus: “Don’t you think”

kateza: “We can't just dance around this”

Marcus: “Maybe max wanted a chance to tell me information

About his own wellbeing”

Little-K1ng: “yeah... i was gonna say”

Marcus: “Fetch just stormed out

Monas not feeling well

you’re all yelling

About someone’s personal information”

kateza: “...

sorry”

Marcus: “Mona go lay down”

kateza: “I'll just

go”

Marcus: “I got Max it’s okay”

Maxwell: “marcus....its fine...i would have had a hard time explaining anyway”

Little-K1ng: “((peace sign))”