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#we get it you were obsessed with hamilton in middle school move on
cuteniaarts · 1 year
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In which Nia is making Hamilton fanart in 2023... this is a new low, even for me
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THE HOLD this woman had on 13 year old me, you don’t get it, I was absolutely OBSESSED
I called myself the #1 Maria Reynolds stan, defender and apologist, read every single fic on Ao3, FF.Net AND Wattpad, spent days digging through every historical record available on the internet to find out everything there is to know about her, made a presentation about her for school... If you ever need a detailed biography which includes accurate dates, a map of where she lived during her lifetime, and the names of, among others, all her siblings, stepchildren, sons-in-law and great granddaughter, you know who to call
A.k.a: When Nia’s mental health is in the gutter, she turns to Broadway musicals to cope
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Thank you @becomingapoet for tagging me. 🙏 I've never done anything like this, so it should be fun! 😊
1. Are you named after anyone?
I'm named after two people, actually – my first name is my dad's (Tim/Timothy), and my middle name is my grandfather's (Michael).
2. When was the last time you cried?
Twice this morning. 😆 I'm a super watery person, so it doesn't take a whole lot to move me emotionally lol.
3. Do you have kids?
Not of my own (in the biological sense), but I do have a 12-year-old stepson who lives with my partner and I half the time, and his dad the other half. There aren't really any words I can say that will do him justice, but he's a wonderful guy, and we have a great relationship. He's helped me grow as a person more than pretty much anyone I've ever met.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not in the traditional sense. My partner and I have a few semi-sarcastic inside jokes between us, but they're really quite light-hearted and silly — they're never at anyone's expense or anything like that. (I'm also on the autism spectrum, so I'm admittedly not very good at detecting sarcasm lol. Sometimes I even have to ask her whether she's joking about something or not.)
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
I notice different things about people at different times/in different situations, but one of the most common is how they treat others.
6. What’s your eye color?
My eyes are brown, but they also appear green at times.
7. Scary movie or happy ending?
I am a definite lover of happy endings, but I'm also a great lover of the macabre, so that's a tough one. I would say my natural preference for peaceful resolution comes out on top, though.
8. Any special talents?
Other than poetry, I'm pretty good at divination, especially via Tarot, astrology, geomancy, and dream interpretation.
Bonus secret talent — I used to be a decent rapper in my late teens/early 20s, which, in all honesty, is where I got my start in poetry.
9. Where were you born?
I was born in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada, but I've lived in Niagara Falls for pretty much all my life, other than two brief periods in Toronto and Hamilton.
10. What are your hobbies?
As an autistic person, my "hobbies" are more like all-encompassing obsessions that I can neither live nor function without. 😆
That being said, I spend a great deal of time studying and practicing esoteric traditions like alchemy, astrology, Kabbalah/Qabalah, Tarot, & ritual magic — and my partner Julia and I also do a lot of teaching in this realm through a blog we run called Spiral Sea Tarot.
I also love studying a number of different world religions, comparative mythology, psychology, philosophy, art, & literature.
I am also a great lover of Chinese/Taiwanese tea and tea culture. I'm especially fond of puerh — a post-fermented tea that undergoes a gradual transformation over several years from a vibrant, yellowish brew to a complex, earthy red.
11. Do you have any pets?
We have a highly-strung, but always lovable muted tortie cat named Maeby.
12. What sports do/have you played?
Mostly baseball, but I've played a bit of hockey, football, and volleyball as well.
13. How tall are you?
6'1"
14. Favorite subject in school?
English and Psychology
15. Dream job?
I'd love for my partner and I to be able to do our work together on a larger scale, and in more of a full-time capacity than life currently allows. You can't really beat doing what you love with the person you love doing it with!
I haven't been here long enough to get to know anyone yet, so I tag anyone who is reading this. Thanks for your time! 🙏
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come-see-our-show · 3 years
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Things I Found Noteable in the ITH Movie (ft. spoilers)
Anthony COMPLETELY made Usnavi his own! Ok king I see you!
The pothole being a record?
I was lowkey expecting we'd be queerbaited but thank GOD we weren't
Dani and Carla just,,,, being domestic,,, Carla on Dani's lap at the pool,,, slow dancing in the apartment,,, good for them ❤️
Usnavi and Kevin's shared hand move on "Are we gonna eat!" ....uncle/nephew rights
The camera work! The editing!! The colors!!! The choreography!!!! Everything is so electric!!!!!
"Why is the fandom so obsessed with Sonny?" *watches the movie* "Oh..."
The title cards with the temperatures
Vansnavi being the main couple instead of Benina actually worked really well! I was a bit sad we saw less of Nina, but Vanessa being developed as well as her relationship with Usnavi made up for it.
I'm so glad we know exactly why Vanessa wants to go downtown! Sis has a plan
Nina's hair getting more and more curly
Leslie Grace's take on Nina was very different than the ones I've seen before but I loved it!!!
lol the Hamilton reference
Piraguero JOMPED on that truck
Also... Lin isn't that bad of a singer. Fuckin chill
My brother thinks he was like a Sephardic Tevye and I agree tbh
The dialogue feels so organic and real, especially with Usnavi and Vanessa in the kitchen
My heart kinda broke when Nina revealed she got searched
All of these moments of everyone just being a family,,, Claudia watching them and dying peacefully because she doesn't need to take care of them anymore, not when they all have each other
Paciencia y Fe as Claudia's journey to death
It's such a quick moment but Claudia being robbed in the middle of her solo 😤 sir pls give the lady her purse back
Also she looked so scared when they were yelling at her to clean up 😭
Sonny having a backstory, with his deadbeat dead and being undocumented
It also gives Nina more of a motive to go back to school
Benina dancing on the building gave me a mini heart attack
Vanessa and Usnavi being former classmates
The beach transitioning into the bodega!!
Vanessa and Unsavi and their daughter being the cutest family ever???
This was so fucking good I'm losing my mind
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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1277
Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to?  Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.
What is the most exciting thing about your life right now?  Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.
What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school?  To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.
Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there?  Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.
Do you have a “one who got away”?  It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.
If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.
If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened?  Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.
Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks?  Nobody ever taught me, so no.
Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.
What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without?  Instant messenger.
Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not?  Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet. 
When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.
Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why?  Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.
What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play?  Piano.
What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something?  The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.
What is something that you would like to learn more about?  Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.
What is something that one of your family member collects?  Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!
Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel?  No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.
Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework?  Always, because I never wrote them down.
Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why?  I experience neither season.
Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.
If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.
What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city?  I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline. 
What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult?  Chicken curry, which I used to dread.
Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.
What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed?  I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.
What are some things that you do to make the world a better place?  I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.
Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you?  I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.
What’s your favorite store at your mall?  We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.
Have you ever done a workout DVD?  No but my mom is fond of those.
Who usually takes out the trash in your family?  Either of my parents.
What song are you currently obsessed with?  My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.
When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook?  I've never gone fishing.
Do you take any prescription meds?  Nope.
What happens if you don’t take them?  Who was the last person you dreamt about?  My dad.
Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened?  Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.
How often do you honk your horn?  As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*
Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.
Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What?  TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.
Did you get babysat a lot as a kid?  No, I did the babysitting.
If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.
Are you doing anything fun tomorrow?  Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.
What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift?  I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.
How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty?  Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.
What is your least favorite holiday, and why?  I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.
What were some outdoor games you played as a child?  We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.
Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out?  They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.
Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about?  Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it. 
Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory?  Long.
What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe.  I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.
Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter?  Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.
Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc)  No.
Has anyone close to you ever gone to war?  No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.
Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?  Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.
Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly?  The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.
Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet?  Hmm no, not that I can recall.
If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to?  I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.
What was the last new food/drink that you tried?  So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.
Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better?  Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.
Have you ever played Sudoku?  I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.
Do you ever take surveys for money?  I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.
Do you like Barbie or Bratz better?  Bratz.
Do you prefer purple or green grapes?  I don’t like grapes.
Who was the last person that made you laugh?  Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.
Where does your best friend live?  A nearby city.
Who did you last confide in?  Angela.
Does your car have an alarm?  Sure.
Where was your mom born?  Somewhere in Metro Manila.
What can always make you feel better no matter what?  My dogs.
What is something you’ll never eat again? Why?  I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.
What is currently happening that is scaring you?  I’m not feeling scared these days.
Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say?  Probably. But nothing sticks out.
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To Omar (Omar Ulmer x Fem!Reader)
Requested by @cass-danvers A/N: YALL THIS ONE HAS SOME HEAVY HAMILTON REFERENCES (No spoilers, just lyrics )
@owba-chan @war-obsessed @inglourious-imagines @tealaquinn @struggling-bee @frozenhuntress67 @kwyloz @sodapop182 @marlenemarauders @what-the--curtains @taikawho Let me know if you wanna be added to the IB or OUATIH taglists! :) ____ Omar was a young man, just recruited with a handful of other eager, wide-eyed boys into an elite team. One that would soon come to be known as The Basterds. This was their last night stationed in a base, somewhere in England. Young, and dreaming of glory, they all sat around, living the last night where they were guaranteed life. They each got their last handfuls of mail, before having to go under the radar and off the grid for quite some time... For some of them, perhaps for the rest of what remained of their lives. Omar's new lieutenant held out a single envelope. 'To Omar'
He recognized your handwriting instantly, and he breathed shakily, his heart sinking. He reached for the letter, and politely thanked Aldo. Omar looked at those two words: To Omar...
But he never read the rest. He stuffed the envelope away into a pocket inside his jacket... Omar knew there was greatness in his path, but if he read what you'd written, he'd never stop thinking of the moment he said goodbye to you. ***TWO YEARS LATER The basterds knew he never worked up the courage to read what you'd last wanted him to know. Just as none of the basterds were allowed to mess around with Donny's bat, none of them were allowed to touch the letter. But, their time together was coming to an end... And, seeing the inherent danger that was part of Operation Kino, Aldo sat Omar down. "I was younger than you are now, when I was given my first command..." It wasn't often that any of the basterds saw Aldo being so bleak... Blunt, yes. Of course. All the time, unfortunately. But bleak? It startled Omar a little... He looked at Aldo, at the history in that man's eyes. Aldo looked down, and Omar could see the heaviness in the memories of that first command. He'd witnessed their deaths firsthand in an endless massacre... "You know, son...Took me time to realize that each of 'em boys I lost that first day had someone waitin' on 'em to get back home. A mama, a pop, kid brother that might have to take his place, a sister workin' away in a factory instead of goin' to school. Each of 'em boys had someone they loved, someone waiting. Just like you. Y/n's waitin' on you to come on back home." "Come on, Aldo. Not now..." "Andy's mother didn't get to say goodbye. Simon had a wife and kids. Michael never got to marry." Omar turned away, he didn't want to listen. "We don't get to decide which one of us lives, dies. We don't even get to decide which one of us tells each other's stories." Aldo sighed, shaking his head. He wasn't making the same mistakes again. he knew who each of the basterds was. There was no turning back now. The war either ended with Kino, or not at all. But, seeing as some of them may not be so lucky to tell the stories, he looked at Omar, "You should read that letter now, Omar." Omar tried to play dumb....but he was a terrible liar, "What letter?" "Y/n's letter." Aldo got up, and walked out. Omar sighed, he pulled the letter out. To Omar. He shook his head. He knew he wouldn't be able to bear reading your 'I love you,' now. Not after all this time. Not when he was so close to hearing it again. He knew the basterds could win the war. There was greatness in each and every soldier he fought side by side with, but this was it. Operation Kino would go down in the books, and history had its eyes on each and every single one of them.
The thoughts lingered on, until the next night, as the basterds waited in an empty building, while Wicki, Hugo, and Lt. Hicox met with a contact in a tavern across the street. La Louisiane just so happened to be in a basement. As it would turn out, Aldo was right. Basements were a terrible place for a rendezvous. Omar, who was just about to read your letter (for real, this time) had no choice. He dropped it, when he heard the first gun shot. As the basterds ran out to see what basterds and parts of Kino they could save, Aldo spotted the letter on the ground. He saw a few words as he hastily tried to shove the letter back into the envelope as he ran out. He slowed down for a second, then realized he needed to make sure Omar made it home. His eyes scanned the street, as Omar kicked down the door. Aldo ran toward him, "WAIT." He pushed Omar back, and took his place, being the first to head down to the tavern as they heard more gunfire, and a terrified man scream, "YOU OUTSIDE, WHO ARE YOU?! BRITISH? AMERICAN? WHAT!" Aldo looked back at his boys, with a shot of relief in his eyes for  a moment, thinking there was a chance their boys were still alive, though his hand gripped the envelope tightly, as he shouted down, "WE'RE AMERICAN. WHAT ARE YOU?" *****
Later that night, as the basterds gathered around a veterinarian's clinic, Aldo quietly slipped the letter into Omar's hands. You had married him, just a year before he left... and he'd been gone for two years now. And now, after two years, he regretted not reading the letter when he first got it. When you decided to write that last letter to him, you'd known for some time... You weren't sorry, but you knew he'd keep on fighting. And still, you knew he deserved a chance to meet his baby. Still, you weren’t scared. You knew who you married. You'd written that last  line with a slight smile: "As long as you come home some day, at the end of the war, just to meet your son...that would be enough." Omar shut his eyes. He stopped hearing Wicki, Hugo, and Archie being operated on by a veterinarian with no morphine. He stopped hearing von Hammersmarck's explanations. He could only see you, in your little apartment in Jersey. He could see you standing by the window, on that last cool summer evening you spent together. You were smiling at him, almost laughing, as a breeze came through a cracked window, swaying the curtains gently. "Well. I speak the most I-talian so...I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks second most, so he'll be your I-talian cameraman. Omar third most so he'll be Donny's assistant." Omar's eyes shot open, hearing the plans now, instead of his distant memories.  "I don't speak Italian!" "Like I said, third best. Just keep your fuckin' mouth shut!" As the night went on, and the plans were rearranged, Omar was sitting alone in a separate room. His mind bounced endlessly between the prospects of ending the war, and the words in your letter. For two years...two years he carried that letter, and never knew he had a baby waiting along with you. Now that you were so close to him, there was a chance he'd never get to you. Aldo knew what was going on. "Ya know...I saw sum' that letter. We can switch you out. Hirschberg or Smitty. Both of 'em boys got enough grit. Hell, they made it this far." "Smitty's got two kids who know him. Hirschberg is a kid."
Aldo nodded slowly as he sat by him.  He glanced up, "Donny!" Donny stopped by the doorway in passing, chewing on some stale bread he found lying around.  "Yeah?" "Come here. We got a slight change of plans." It was crazy, and it was almost dead certain it wouldn't work...but Aldo wanted to give them even a possibility to make it out. "Listen up, boys. This ain't no game..." So, later on, when Bridget von Hammersmarck arranged for the boys to be fitted in suits for the premier, Omar and Donny were alone for a few minutes, just before 'show time'.
"Y'know, kid. Aldo told me why we changed plans." Omar smiled a little, though his heart was heavier now, more than ever, "Of course he did. Aldo can't keep a secret." Donny nodded, knowing that to be true enough. Still, he sighed, "I just wanted to tell you, I respect the hell out of you, and there's nobody else I'd rather be doin' this mission with."
"Thanks, pal." "But..." Donny looked at his best friend, "Nothin's ever gone according to plan with us. Someone always slips up. Sometimes Hirschberg actually slips... That time that Wicki forget the ammunition, or when Hugo-" "I get it, I get it," Omar laughed, and Donny smiled a little, until he said what was on his mind. "It's a goddamn miracle any of us are still here." "Ain't that the truth." "So, if I fall behind, I stay behind. You get the hell out of there." "Donny, I can't do that." "Don't make an orphan of your kid." Donny was dead serious. "What about-" Donny already knew what Omar was going to say. He chuckled a little, "Shit, me 'n Sarah been engaged so long, I'd hope she'd be ready to move on by now," He smiled a little, though Omar knew Donny loved his girl, he still meant every word. "Donny, I can't leave you behind." "That's an order, private." "Don't do that." "Don't disobey a direct order, then." They looked at each other, quietly, not knowing what more to say. Donny reached his hand out. Omar sighed, and shook Donny's hand, "One last time?" "One last time," Donny smirked, looking in a mirror, slicking back his hair, then heading out the door.
*** And of course, things did not go as planned, as per usual. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Aldo disappeared, along with Bridget von Hammersmarck. To make matters worse...a wooden beam fell over Omar.
He shut his eyes, feeling the weight of the world fall over him. He just took down the nazi regime, but he was sure he'd never get to see you again. Smoke filled his lungs, and covered his eyes. He could almost hear you, a whisper among the crackles of the fire. He smiled... But he just couldn't seem to die. He saw you again, on that last cool summer night, just before he left. He kissed you, 'I'll be back before you know I'm gone...' And it wasn't like him to lie to you. So you never questioned that last promise, no matter how much time had passed. He knew that, so when he heard Donny shout over the roaring fire, "FUCK A DUCK," he opened his eyes. Donny was towering over him, "THIS WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL, OMAR." Donny was clearly hurt, but using every last ounce of his strength to push the beam off of Omar. "WE GOT THIRTY SECONDS, MOVE, MOVE MOVE." The two basterds just jumped out of the cinema, moments before the explosions. Donny chuckled, catching his breath, and pressing his arms around his hurt knee, "Just like in the movies, huh?" "Yeah..." Omar smiled, out of breath, realizing he was getting that happy ending,  "Just like in the movies..." A jeep stopped just across the street, and Hirschberg waved out the windo, "LET'S GO. GENERAL MADE A DEAL WITH ALDO AND LANDA." The boys looked at each other, and Hirschberg rolled his eyes, "WE GOTTA GO." Wicki poked his head out of the back of the jeep, along with Hicox and Hugo, "C'mon, boys. I got my mother waitin' for me." Hicox chuckled, "Yes, if it's all fine with you boys, I'd like to be home in time for my daughter's bed time story. She reads to me, you know." Hugo only smiled. He had somebody waiting for him too. They helped Donny and Omar up, and for the first time in years, each of the basterds took a breath. They looked around, knowing how lucky they were to be alive right now. ******** Omar walked down the stage after getting his medal of honor. He was a little slow, having a broken rib or two, but that didn't matter. You knocked the breath out of him. You'd always taken his breath away. He stopped when he saw you. You ran to him. He could barely whisper your name, though you could see the years of love that were missed in his eyes, "Y/n..." You threw your arms around him, effectively taking his taking his breath away again, though he didn't mind. He glanced back at Aldo, who was already being swarmed by a group of reporters, waiting for him to tell the basterds' story, or at least the story of how he got his scar. Aldo smiled with pride, nodding at his boys, watching them all go their separate ways. Yes, they'd lost some basterds along the way... Aldo was right. No one got to choose who lived, who died, who told their stories. (But knowing Donny, he'd tell some stories alright, and never shut up about it.) But now, Omar looked at what was ahead of him. He saw a little boy, about two years old, lingering shyly behind you. You picked him up, and Omar saw his son's face for the first time. "His name's Philip." Omar threw his arms around both of you, never wanting to let go. He'd seen the world, remembered every soldier who fought by his side, held on to that letter for years, and lived far more than he'd ever imagined ....But this? He smiled, holding you and your son, knowing he'd never have to leave you behind again. He looked at you, and Philip... That was enough for a lifetime. He fought in the war, but somehow, this was what he was proudest of. He'd always known he'd see you again, it would only be a matter of time.
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mariephillipswriter · 3 years
Text
Square Eyes
Do they still say that if you watch too much television you'll get square eyes? Or is that an expression that went out of fashion when kids started spending all their time in front of the internet? Putting aside the obvious riposte (televisions aren't square, they're rectangular) I can report that I have been doing extensive research in this area and have come to the scientific conclusion: no, you won't. I have been watching so much television. SO MUCH TELEVISION. I never believed that I could watch such an immense quantity of television. On the whole I don't watch it during the day except for sometimes when I am having my breakfast and also when having my lunch, but in the evenings, when I have finished pretending to work, I might start watching television at about 6pm, or 5pm, or 4pm on a bad day, and keep going until, say, 11pm or midnight. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. HOW CAN A PERSON LIVE THIS WAY. Well it's easy enough, it turns out, if you're under lockdown in London in December and it's dark from 4pm and raining most of the time and you have the emotional resources of a gnat and reading is too demanding and talking on the phone is too exhausting and the light in the living room is not good enough for doing a puzzle in evening hours and you quit social media a month or so ago because it was driving you out of your mind with anxiety. I don't watch six or seven or eight hours of television every night. Don't be ridiculous. Some nights I only watch about three hours of television because I have a Zoom call or I'm cooking dinner or I've got stuck into a good cryptic crossword, maybe the Saturday Times Jumbo one because the Guardian ones are too gimmicky, or at last I've found a book gripping yet easy enough that I can't put it down (thank you Robert Galbraith, thank you Marian Keyes), but I would say that three hours is the minimum and my god that is a LOT. EVERY DAY. THREE HOURS. MINIMUM. But you don't need to me to explain that to you because you are all watching three four five six seven hours of television every day and when you are not watching television you are phoning your friends and first of all talking about the specific way that your own personal lockdown is terrible but then eventually saying 'what are you watching on television' because what else is there even to talk about? At the start of lockdown there was quite a small pool of television that everyone was watching (that thing about the Tiger King, which I didn't watch because by the time I got back from my early lockdown in Costa Rica you'd all seen it, and Normal People which I didn't watch because I was too embarassed to sit through all the sex scenes with my flatmates, and I May Destroy You, which I didn't watch because about five minutes of it was enough to send me into a massive panic spiral, but I hear was very good), but once we had all (other than me) got through that and Covid dragged on for months, our conversations began taking on the tenor of Vikings crowding around one another as a boat returns from a foray, WHAT IS OUT THERE, WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT THERE, IS THERE SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT I MIGHT DESIRE? And the Viking says yes, there is this thing called Schitts Creek but you really have to push on through the first season because I promise you it gets better and better and you will start to love that obnoxious family. And then we all watched Schitts Creek. (Including me, it's wonderful, you have to push on through the first series you will start to love that obnoxious family, Dan Levy is a divinity in human form and if you want more of him you could do worse than checking out the lesbian Christmas-themed romcom Happiest Season, which you can rent from Amazon Prime.) And now we are beyond even that and all our lives resonate with the screeching sound of a televisual barrel being scraped and now this is when things get really interesting (or put another way, VERY VERY BORING) because everyone has fractured and we are all watching different kinds of random stuff found in the dusty corners and unloved algorithms of our streaming services. There's the friend who has got into watching obscure French crime series on Netflix (The Chalet! La Mante!) and the friend who is watching every episode of Poirot on Britbox (thirteen series, 70 episodes) (though that pales in comparison with the friend who did a total rewatch of Friends from beginning to end (236 episodes) and finished it ages ago and is starving for more) and the friend who calls me up seemingly every week with a new old show nobody else has ever heard of (such as the early 1990s Nigel Havers and Warren Clarke comedy spy drama Sleepers, which he is watching old-school-style on DVD, and which apparently is like The Americans only with Nigel Havers and funny, and also, you should watch The Americans.) When I look back on the amount of television I have watched this year it defies comprehension. There were the things I would have watched anyway like the whole of Strictly Come Dancing and His Dark Materials, and the things that took me by surprise, like the stealthily hilarious Danny Dyer gameshow The Wall that was on straight after Strictly and drove me into a total obsession with the way that Danny Dyer says "Drop 'Em" (he's talking about the balls that are dropped down the wall, it's hard to explain, you can find it on iPlayer, but meanwhile if you only click on one link in this whole newsletter PLEASE click on that one), there were the things that were created especially to get me through lockdown (the wonderful David Tennant and Michael Sheen Zoom comedy Staged, which is not only extremely funny but allows you to see inside David Tennant's house which I'm not sure I am technically allowed to watch because of the restraining order? Anyway, new series coming on Monday, fellow DT fans) and the familiar things I watched to soothe me when it all got too much (Doctor Who, starting before Tennant even gets in on the action, right at the begining of the New Who seasons with Christopher Eccleston, because armchair space travel is the only kind of travel we are going to be getting for a while) and the exciting things I watched when I could no longer bear the tedious repetition of every identical day (Line of Duty, in which the famous-for-the-far-inferior Bodyguard writer Jed Mercurio delivers ludicrously compelling twisty-turny stories about police corruption that cannot be predicted for even a nanosecond) and the things that I watched just because I loved them (Fosse/Verdon, the Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon bio-series starring the breathtakingly charismatic Sam Rockwell and Michelle Williams, which is one of the best-made pieces of television I've ever seen, Love Life, the Anna Kendrick romantic comedy series which was surprisingly touching and truthful about the relationships that make up a life and which didn't make me want to open a vein as a single person the way that many looking-for-love shows do, and Better Things, a sort-of-comedy sort-of-drama written, directed by and starring Pamela Adlon, which began as a collaboration with Louis CK and initially reflected the sensibility of his show Louie, but became far more experimental and interesting once, after CK's disgrace, Adlon took over completely - the fourth series is maybe the closest thing I've seen on TV to a representation of the rhythms of real life, with long scenes of Adlon just cooking a meal on her own, or contemplating the rain, of having arguments with her children that explode from nowhere and end just as suddenly with tears or laughter or nothing at all.) And this entire paragraph is just things that I have watched on the BBC. Not even everything that I have watched on the BBC. The BBC is INCREDIBLE and my license fee has been serious value for money, before you even count all that time spent watching the news [Munch Scream emoji]. But overall, it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of television that I have watched this year. Though while we're here, have you noticed that sometimes it's more relaxing to watch something bad than something good? Have you noticed that a vapid, cliched show like Virgin River (heartbroken city nurse with a secret moves to small town and falls in love with battle-wounded bartender with a secret), a show that makes This Is Us look like Succession, has the same effect on your brain that taking off your work shoes and putting on your slippers has for your feet? You can rest now, it says, there is nothing more for you to do. Have you noticed how easy it is to chug down, say, four episodes in a row of Designated Survivor - a show designed by a committee charged with taking elements of The West Wing, Homeland and 24, and making something similar but, crucially, much more ridiculous - without your mind even noticing that anything has happened at all? And if you're really ready for something utterly idiotic, might I suggest The Bold Type, in which three twentysomething girls in bonkers designer outfits "work" at an aspirationally "feminist" glossy magazine, and by "work" I mean constantly leave the office in the middle of the day to take care of personal business, and by "feminist" I mean "empowering women by for example having them post selfies of themselves looking perfect but without makeup on social media", a feminism so very feminist that they called the magazine's parent company Steinem in the first series and then had to change it to Safford, I can only presume because Gloria Steinem threatened to sue them. A couple of episodes of that is the televisual equivalent of having a nice relaxing full frontal lobotomy. Don't get me wrong: I love these shows. I owe them more gratitude than I can say. I would be unable to survive without them. I've managed to watch five hours of television just since starting this post24 hours ago (three episodes of Doctor Who, half a really cheap and very bad Sky Arts documentary about the musical Hamilton, and a travelogue in which Torvill and Dean go in search of a frozen lake in Alaska on which to dance Bolero but can't find one for almost the entire show because of global warming, which made me simultaneously and conflictingly want to give up air travel, fly to Alaska immediately, become obsessed with Torvill and Dean AND wonder how they managed to skate together all these decades without killing each other especially Torvill but also especially Dean). Five hours of TV, sounds like a lot, but with eight hours of sleep, that still left me eleven hours to fill in this boring boring boring boring BORING BORING BORING boring boring BORING boring BORING BORING lockdown. I think I am being incredibly restrained, all things considered. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some time to kill, having finished writing this post, and with at least five hours to fill before bed. I wonder what's on TV?
***
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wispandwhispers · 4 years
Text
Moonboy
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Notes: I finally fucking wrote something, hallelujah! Anyway this is a one shot that got streched because , yes?
Words: 1907
Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality, dukeceit that could be romantic or platonic idk
Tw(s): Sexual references and implied content, no smut though, cursing, threats, remus being remus
The night was dark, but not the type of dark that you would fear, the type that was comforting and was not frightful. And out of that dark he came.
The dark of the second floor corridor, but still dark.
"Ok 3Q, this is Virgil Lunapuer, Virgil this is..."
It didn't matter what Ms Quill said next, Roman was too focused on what sounded better, Virgil Xia or Roman Lunaper.
He stared at the new member of their class taking in his hair that was made out of the night sky but seemed to radiate some sort of light that was intoxicating . Taking in his eyes are hypnotising and they are endless pools precious stones that glisten. Taking in his-
A snap of fingers.
"Ro are you the-"
"Jan, do you think that  Xia sounds nice, I think it sounds nice, doesn't it sound nice.."
"Remus, did you spike drink his in the morning?"
"Not today at least.."
"...Oh God, your in love aren't you?"
"Yeah, Rem has eaten a pet dove..." And Roman was back to day dreaming about the new kid's face the calm but elegant beauty of it, how can he even be real, his body seemed so ..so...ma-
Roman's face got slapped by a semi gloved hand.
"Quill is calling you!" The slapped snapped back into focus, eyes widening and refocusing.
"Yeah, Miss." 'Miss' currently was pinching the bridge of her nose, looking like she was regretting all her life choices up to now ( That made sense, she did decide to go into teaching.)
"I'm buddying you up with Lunaper, do all that movie shit where you take him around the school and do that bonding fuckery or whatever." Virgil stood in front of his new guide with his hands in his pockets seeming not even focusing on him ,but his eyes were glued in a sideways position .
Oh god, I'm too gay, I'm too fucking gay for this, someone come and fucking help me.
No ,you can do this Roman. You can woo him. Your are Roman Xia . You can-
"Um, hi Roman."
Nope. I do not fucking have this. I am doomed. Can you die from a overdose of gay? I think you can. I am going to die.
"Are you ok?"
" Um, yeah.. yeah I was just going to that you are looking lovely today."
"..Oh my, that was really bad but-"
The ringing of the bell surrounded the room.
"Get out of classroom."
Virgil turned to Roman.
"So you're guiding me?"
(Janus walked up to his homeroom teacher's desk. "Quill, are you even allowed to curse in class?")
("Janus, do you remember I know what you did on Sunday evening?")
("...Truce?")
("Truce.")
******
The stream of feral adolescents filled the corridor. Shoving and pushing began as the students rushed their way over to their first period classes.
Somehow in the chaos, Virgil and Roman managed to stay together.
 "Um, so, what do you like to do?"
The journey to second period would take about two minutes because the class was at the other side of campus, the guided concluded it would be a good time to break the ice.
"Oh, I really love theatre and just musicals in general, maybe it's because of my childhood Disney obsession-"
The jocks barge through the crowd.
"No, that definitely explains why you are currently wearing propaganda-"
"Merchandise-"
Everyone parts like the red sea for the resident Heathers.
"It's going to a multi-trillion-dollar corporation  that has a very solid grasp on the younger generation perception of entertainment and what is right and wrong. It's propaganda princey."
He gave me a nickname. He gave me a nickname! 
"Why princey ?"
Virgil made a sharp turn to face him.
"You're a Disney loving thespian, you just seem like the type to envision yourself as a prince.."
Virgil gave a small smirk/smile (Roman couldn't tell and it didn't matter. His heart skipped a beat either way.) to his guide and put his ear bud back in.
******
"Janus Vale?"
"Present."
"Remus Xia?"
"Not here, in the principle's office for something."
"Thank you, Janus, Roman Xia?"
"Here, sir!"
("Wait, that kid in the green denim jacket with the attempt at a moustache is your brother?")
"Ruth Yillton?"
("Twin brother actually.")
"I'm alive, I guess?"
(Virgil looked at Roman with a surprised face. "The one who offered to give a senior a blowjob in the middle of the hallway.")
"Nyx Yonder?"
("Yeah, I'm not sure how I'm related to him either." Roman started to doodle idly in the margin of his book.)
"You can see me."
( Roman noticed Virgil peering over at his book with a sly eye, seemed to acknowledge something and focus back on his music, bobbing to the beat with a quiet tap of his sneaker.)
"Remington  Zenith."
Virgil stopped tapping his foot in response the student's name. The class was silent.
("Why did you stop tapping your foot?")
("You noticed me tap my foot?")
("No-t-h-h-ing, I meant why did you peer up your head like a deer in headlights?" And for one second, while the that his eyes flickered with colours that he could even describe. But it was just one second. Could of been an illusion.)
(" Nothing, it's just that's the name of my cousin.")
Don't panic yet. People have same names.
"Well if no one knows where Remin-"
"Morning bitches!"
("Huh, I was right.")
Dammit.
"Remington, you are five minutes late, where is your slip?"
A piece of discarded paper flew at the teachers face.
"Here you go.." The tardy walked to his seat at the front of the class.
Sir sighed.
"Class, Nyx is currently handing you back your tests graded, I'm just going to say that barely anyone of you got higher than a C and Janus meet me after class to discuss why you and Remus have both got an A+ despite you never being able to get anything higher than a D- ."
 ("Remington, move your shoes from the table.")
("No.")
("You are insufferable.")
("It is one of my talents.")
" As this is a revision lesson, you are allowed to talked to your peers."
And the classroom erupted into idle chatter (To be honest, why would teachers believe that students were actually going to talk about their scores and where they went wrong. They were obviously going to bitch and gossip about trivial shit.)
Both earbuds out.
"Well because this is my first day and I haven't got anything to look over, wanna talk?"
Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck yes Fuck ye-
"Sure."
******
"Beauty and the beast is not an allegory for Stockholm syndrome -"
"So please explain why Belle fell in love with a furry-"
"It's because she see the beast beyond outward, appearance and the fact she understands that there is something deeper inside, she can see it!"
And with that the eyes were back, the eyes that seem to contain whole nebulas and are ready to destroy everything and anything that disappeared in a second. And in a second it would be all that it took to make Roman dismiss the fact that his pencil once again was radiating the cosmic energy.
Well they did say that lightning not striking twice was a myth.
Virgil pulled him by his collar until they were at eye level with each other.
Stop thinking gay thoughts Roman.
"If you think you know anything about me, think if you value your life,"
He relinquished him just as the bell went.
"What's next princey?"
 What just happened?
******
The day went on with no other incidents, like the one that occurred in the classroom and the day had gone mostly smoothly.
Mostly.
Virgil talked to Roman significantly less after that experience, the ripples of whatever button he had pressed subliminally affecting their conversations.
Roman did learn that Virgil, like him, was a theatre kid but unlike his 'basic bitch musicals' ( Virgil's words, not his.)like Hamilton, Be More Chill and Dear Evan Hansen ;he listen too the folks who made A Very Potter Musical ( Roman forgot who made it though). He also figured out that he was quite anti-social and preferred to stay invisible.
By final bell, Roman thought he had bonded with the boy.
Just a few more steps and we will be married.
******
"Pa, do you believe in true love?"
Pa straightened his glasses which was currently focused at his email pileup . "No, I don't Roman, love takes time, trail and error, you have to find someone like you that you don't just love for outward appearance, it doesn't just happen."
"So how did you fall in love with Dad, someone who apologise to the coffee table when he bumped into it?"
"On rare occasions,  true love as you put it, can occur but I-," He looked up from his laptop. "Why are you even talking to me about stuff, you know your father is better with emotions and I'm better with logical things."
"Idk."
"Please don't speak to me in slang."
"Please never say slang."
******
" Dad, I think might be in love."
"Might, you were eye fucking him in class-"
"Remus, language!"
"English!"
"Anyway, there is this really cute boy who I'm guiding around the school and he likes the stuff I like and I really want to get to know him better but he got really angry at me and I don't know-"
Dad encased his son in a hug. " Look, if you are this in love with this boy that you only met so recently, just follow your heart, It's really and truly the only thing that can tell you what to do kiddo."
"Wow, that sounded really profound and wise, what have you done with my father?"
******
TheDuke: Hey
TheDuke:Hey
TheDuke:Hey
ThePrince: What do you want bro
TheDuke: You know Remy
ThePrince: How can I forget?
TheDuke: Well, Jan just sent me a video of him without his glasses on
ThePrince: Spill
TheDuke: Ok, so the file keeps on corrupting itself for some reason but his eyes are had this weird mystical vibe to it, it think I saw a cloud with 💤 in it
That reminds me of ..what? I can't remember in full but it has to do with Virgil.
ThePrince: Is that all had to show me?
TheDuke: Yeepers
ThePrince: Night brother
******
Roman was pissed that he woke up to say the least.
It didn't even get to the the really good bit...the fuck am I? Remus?
Roman turned to his phone to see that his usual flood of notifications was simplified down to two.
He checked it.
Anonymous: Do not fucking touch him or all of Sideton can see you spread his legs
Anonymous: [ Attached a file with the dream in word format.]
Roman screamed.
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everydayanth · 4 years
Text
Let’s talk about talking about politics! Yay! Everyone’s favorite!
Over the past few weeks/months/years, I have had this strange insider seat to a bunch of criminal justice/poly sci professionals (as in, they get paid as professors or scientists or compliance officers, etc.) as they talk about politics and get angry at the general public for our lack of understanding, without having the patience to teach or explain. 
Two problems: 1. the ivory tower issue of watching and not actively engaging in the social part of social science, but as their friend, I will note much of this comes from burnout through negative engagement and attacks; 2. expecting others to have had an adequate education to even know many of these tools exist in order to discuss things beyond our average public school education that cuts out Fridays and makes random half days because we can’t afford teachers or textbooks. 
As an awkward observer, here are some things I never talked about in school, despite having a better political/civil/economics education included in my curriculum than many of my friends:
1. When we vote for someone, we are voting on a trend in politics. Not as a result, but a direction to move, and most voters vote for the candidate who is closest to their current values already, rather than following the trend of voting for who would move policy to match their needs. 
2. Our values change far more than we think they do and they almost always align with a problem we require a solution to or a fear we would like to stabilize or go away, such as property taxes. Because we need to trust the person to solve our problems, especially if we are projecting large fears, candidates who are most likable. We don’t like to stir the pot, we just want it to go where we want, fighting for something is exhausting for everyone.
3. We consider political agendas to be moral agendas but do not agree on obligations. Many feel powerless, others are powerless, we talk about responsibility, but without acknowledging those first two things, it sounds more like blame. We also imagine many things to be wishful thinking that are enacted successfully elsewhere and fail to understand or use logical reasoning to really discuss issues. Anything will be an experiment because the US is so huge, but it is a scalable experiment working in other places, often we don’t understand that until we’re abroad and sick.
4. We’re not sure how to translate policy, and our country was built by and for lawyers. There are very little areas where we agree as a society on black/white right/wrong, and in many ways that’s good, but when it comes to discussing policy, it can be very confusing.
To account for these aspects, people use charts and grids. Much like personality tests, these are useful for creating a foundation upon which to debate and discuss, but are ultimately made by humans in order to generalize and will have errors and discrepancies. But the political spectrum has rarely been the single line most of us were taught. Instead, it is often a grid used to navigate the direction and preference of trends. Most people are much more moderate than they think, but have problems that need cooperative solutions, like the water crisis and fires on the west coast, disaster relief in the south, crop failure in the midwest, and ticks and diseases in the northeast. We all have huge problems and some areas are insulated from them for now, but they will come. How we navigate and demand solutions for those problems is what creates policy and the policies we agree with because of our value is what dictates our vote. 
So here’s some charts that human people made to talk about these things with and they have helped ground a lot of engaging conversations with people as I watch them argue but not get angry, because there’s a visual thing to talk around. Those kinds of tools should be everywhere. 
The political compass:
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via Wikipedia: political spectrum
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^
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^A generalization of what different areas might look like. I’ve seen so many versions of this, but I liked the way this one because it gave me a better understanding of words I’m more familiar with and where they fall within the broad concepts. I couldn’t find the source. 
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^ Here is another one from Google that took me to a shady site, so I didn’t link it, but the goal is to just be familiar with the different ways people structuralize and use definitions and terms to divide them up, in the end, the general understanding is all that matters, and our goal is to be functional, for the government to be usable by the people. Hamilton, the musical, was/is so important for many reasons, but one of the big ones is that it reminded us that this fight of trends and moving around the board has been going on since the very first election of a president to America. It’s always about one group pulling another, creating a tug-of-war that keeps us near the middle, hopefully.
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This is a graph showing the individual party ideologies of past presidents by a site called Fact Myth. It is showing the party split between individuals and while we could argue and speculate about accuracies and meanings, whether a president was pushed to make a decision as a person, etc. in the end, they represent the will of the people and the trends we with to follow to solve problems at the time. 
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^An outline someone made of 2020 candidates on Reddit that has been going around for a while. Jake showed this to me and while he was perfectly receptive to me saying that yeah, but a person made this and they can have agendas and just put people places, he also had some really great points on how Americans often think we’re moderates, but what we perceive to be in the middle is often skewed by capitalism. That’s not to say it’s bad, simply that if we’re talking trends and problems and solutions, we have to understand where we are on the real scale, not just our own. We will also tend to vote for those who are closest to us, rather than moving in the direction of us, so, say someone sits right where Ryan is, Ryan drops out; now, despite their personal political preference being on the edge of the middle moderate square, they move to Biden rather than Warren or Sanders because Biden is closer to their original place, even if, coming from Trump, moving to Warren/Sanders would pull the political trend back toward their moderate preference. 
Not everyone does this, obviously, but I’m fascinated by how our individual personalities affect how we decide politics. Are you a “next best thing” kind of person? Are you a “obsess relentlessly until it’s done” kind of person? Are you a “don’t fix it if it ain’t broke? Or what about “out of sight out of mind, doesn’t bother me, I don’t care” kind of person? So many of the ways we solve our daily problems are reflected in the ways we move our own political affiliations during voting times. I just think that’s interesting because I’m a social science nerd though. 
A friend from Brown who is much older than us (also a social science nerd <3) pointed out that she grew up with such antagonizing propaganda during the cold war and beginnings of technological boom and peak oil, and it all said the same thing, anything outside the blue is morally wrong and heavily corrupt. I thought that was an interesting point about exposure and remembering past problems, how voting ages overlap to find new solutions or rely on old ones, and what it would cost us to see American politics on a global scale. 
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^This is a global scale of values (not politics) from the wikipedia page on political spectrums, and I thought it tied into the conversation in interesting ways, especially when we look at American generation differences in individualism and social cooperation and how they are viewed by each other to both be equally negative. There’s a whole world of solutions and different ways things our done, but we’ve been taught from birth that some are bad and others are exceptions and ours is good. 
Vox has an interesting tool to figure out where abouts you would lie on the compass. I think debating it with others is a better way, since it’s a primarily relative scale (unless you prefer those structuralist ones, but keep in mind that it’s a preference, not a requirement). But I thought I’d include it for those who may not have access to that kind of conversation. 
In the end, consider your morals and how they are different from your current values, and how your current values are affected by your current problems, and how you want the world to look, how you want trends to move, and how your biases of experience or ignorance might play a role in that. I honestly didn’t really think about healthcare until I was in Ireland and saw how simple an alternative was and how freeing it felt. My parents can’t even imagine it (and they are of the class who should most desire those changes), they don’t have enough of a base knowledge to understand how it works, it’s electricity after gaslamps. 
Anyway, just thought I’d share some of those tools. As a skeptical person, I want to remind everyone that these are tools, not documented facts, and fighting about where people are on the graph and where we might be is part of how we come to conclusions about rights and wants and solutions and needs and what we actually value. Most of us, in the end, value comfort and hope, and we vote for the people we think provide that to us. The problem often lies in people misunderstanding their own comfort and relying on ignorance rather than hope. I found these graphs useful in grounding my talks with overwhelming professionals and finding some semblance of peace in what I wanted to hope for and I hope maybe for some of you they can provide that as well. ❤️
If, like me, you reached your 20s and realized a gaping hole in your education, I also recommend the Crash Course series on US Politics. It helped me understand a lot of things that were skimmed over in textbooks or left as multiple choice answers on a standardized test. Politics are a series of solutions to the problems we face as a social group, and knowing how to talk about them completely changed my own feelings of helplessness when communicating to others. 
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sapienveneficus · 4 years
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Elsie Fest 2019: A Broadway Music Festival Sans Broadway
Another year, another Elsie Fest. This year marks the Broadway festival's fifth anniversary, and it also happens to be the fourth Elsie Fest I've been able to attend. Coming off a the high of 2018's festival, this year's event had some mighty big shoes to fill. Did it succeed? In a word? No. I had fun last night, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't help but be disappointed by several aspects of the event. Let me break it down for you.
For those who haven't been to Elsie Fest, there's a rhythm to whole thing that's important to explain right at the top. The seating at the venue is, for the most part, general admission so people line up well before the gates open to secure the best spots near the stage. I joined the line about 2 hours before opening and, therefore, managed to snag a pretty good spot. I laid out my blanket, sat down, and took part in the hour-long showtunes sing-a-long lead, once again, by our favorite dynamic duo from Marie's Crisis. This hour of fun was a highlight for me; it always is. But this year especially it proved to be one of the few celebrations of Broadway to be found at this Broadway music festival. More on that later.
As the hour came to a close, and the guys from Marie's Crisis were wrapping things up on stage, I took a look around the venue. I couldn't help but notice that it wasn't as full as it had been the year before (or the year before that). That observation got me thinking, why was attendance down this year? After a bit of brainstorming, I came up with a few potential causes.
First up, timing. Elsie Fest has always been on a Sunday. Since the show moved to Central Park back in 2017, it has specifically been the Sunday smack dab in the middle of Columbus Day Weekend. For any international readers, Columbus Day is a federal holiday (like a bank holiday) here in the US that falls on the second Monday in October. So, for the past two years, Elsie Fest was been held in the middle of a 3 day weekend. Which meant it was generally easy for folks in the tri state area to make the trip into the city. Also, falling on a Sunday evening meant it was easy to get Broadway folks (even those currently in shows) to stop by since most shows only run a matinee on Sundays and typically have Mondays off. By choosing a Saturday this year, the organizers made it harder for some regular attendees to come out (people tend to have things to do on Saturdays plus, for some, it's the Sabbath), and they cut down on their talent pool significantly because they wouldn't be able to get anyone currently working on or off Broadway.
This segues nicely into the second reason for the potential dip in ticket sales, namely the featured performers. There weren't really any big names this year. Last year, for example, we had Sutton Foster, Joshua Henry, Grant Gustin, Matthew Morrison, Alex Newell, Nick Jonas, Zachary Levi, Casey Cott, Rufus Wainwright, Jodi Benson, and performances from Be More Chill and The Prom. This year, up until about a week before, the only big-ish name attached to the show was Gavin Creel. I say a week before because last week they announced Cynthia Erivo. I'm guessing she was added last minute in a desperate attempt to sell tickets. Which sort of worked, the venue wasn't empty, but kinda proves my point. By having this on a Saturday they weren't able to bring in the talent that they had in years past and, without those big names, they weren't able to bring in as many attendees.
Finally, the third reason for the lackluster ticket sales was New York Comic Con. This doesn't require much in the way of explanation. This weekend was New York Comic Con. Lots of the big panels, sales, and cosplay events fall on Saturday, and it's not a stretch to assume that NYCC and Elsie Fest are drawing from similar, if not the same, pools of people. So that probably hurt sales a bit as well. Though I suspect the two other reasons were larger contributing factors.
Okay, back to the show itself. After the sing-a-long, we were shown a quick trailer for High School Musical: The Musical – The Series. (You are not misreading what I wrote, that's the show's actual title) After the trailer, two of the kids came out to sing Breaking Free. Their performance was super cute, and I was reminded of the fact that HSM debuted in early 2006. Which means that all the tweens and teens who grew up with this film series are now fully-fledged adults. And they were out in the audience, in full force, singing along. It was a sweet moment to witness. And, not going to lie, I was singing along as well. I have a soft spot for the series myself. It'll always remind me of my first year of teaching. My students were obsessed HSM, and I was right there with them.
Next, Dyllon Burnside came out and performed an RnB version of Luck Be a Lady from Guys and Dolls. This number was okay. Dyllon's got a great voice and the woman who came up with him to dance as Luck was talented. But the performance had a rocky start because there wasn't an introduction. Someone just said into a mic, here's Dyllon Burnside, and then it started. I remember standing there thinking to myself, “Who's Dyllon Burnside?” I googled him today and found out he's on that Ryan Murphy show, Pose. It might have been a good idea to give that info up front. Anyhow, like I said, his performance was okay. RnB is not my cup of tea, but he had a good voice and a commanding stage presence so I could put up with that style for a single song.
After Dyllon, the composer of The Lightning Thief, Rob Rokicki, took the stage with a few backup singers. He performed Good Kid, The Lightning Thief's opening number. This performance was an example of how the timing of this year's festival hurt its lineup. Rob's a composer with a passable voice, not performer. And this song needs a cast of performers to be done properly. Unfortunately, Rob’s talented cast couldn't be there because it was Saturday night, and they had an evening show to do over at the Longacre. So we, the audience, were stuck with Rob. No offense to Rob, he seemed like a sweet guy, but he's not a performer. He should have been there to introduce his cast, not perform in their place.
After Rob, came the first set of the evening, a series of songs performed by Anais Mitchell, the composer/creator of Hadestown. I should probably begin this paragraph by explaining that I have not drunk the Hadestown kool aid. I have seen show, I did not like the show, but that is a matter for another post. Going into this set, I figured Anais would do a song from Hadestown and then take a few other Broadway tunes and put her folksy spin on them. That is not what happened. She sang 4 songs from Hadestown, and then a medley of songs from her newest album. To put it bluntly, her set was bad. Even if I liked Hadestown, which I do not, I would still have to be honest and say that she really missed the point of the festival. She was there to celebrate Broadway in general, not her show in particular. It'd be like Lin Manuel Miranda showing up and performing a whole bunch of songs from Hamilton. I mean, that'd be AMAZING, but I would have to be honest and admit that he would also have missed the point. What she should have done was a song from Hadestown, probably at the beginning, and then pick other Broadway songs. She could have told stories about showtunes that evoked special memories for her or demonstrated how certain showtunes might have folk elements hidden within them. What we didn't need was an ad for Hadestown/her latest album, but that was what we got. It was a real shame.
After Anais, Ariana DeBose took the stage. Thankfully, they gave her an introduction this time. Ariana's not a name yet, but that may change after Spielberg's West Side Story opens next year. (She's playing Anita) She kicked off her set with an RnB version of Shall We Dance from The King and I. Ariana is one of the artists who's been working on the R&H Goes Pop project on YouTube. Again, RnB is not my genre, but it was a good way to raise the energy there in the venue (as it at plummeted during the previous set) and to showcase her talent. Ariana has great tone, an impressive range, and real stage presence. So while I didn't enjoy the song itself, I was impressed with her performance overall. The next song she did was Invisible by Jason Robert Brown. It's a song off his latest album that he wrote for the Ronald McDonald House. This song was also done in an RnB style and, at this point, I started to worry that her whole set would be like this. Her next number was a medley of pop songs that dealt with cheating. It was fun, high energy, but again, it wasn’t Broadway. She could easily have used this to transition into Cell Block Tango or any other showtune about cheating (there are quite a few), but, alas, that wasn't the case. Instead, she covered Cold Play's Fix You. It was a great cover, don't get me wrong, but still not a Broadway song. At this point, I'd gone from starting to worry to full on worrying. Where were the showtunes? This is Elsie Fest, it's the one music festival for Broadway fans where their music is celebrated. That's why I love it so much and keep coming back year after year. So when her next number started off with All That Jazz from Chicago, I thought, “Finally!” but then she mashed it up with a few other Broadway/pop songs all sung by various “Divas” and my excitement diminished. Despite all of that, I held out hope that she'd close out her set with a song from West Side Story. It only made sense to get the crowd excited for next year's remake, right? Nope! Instead, she mashed up Donna Summer's Love to Love You Baby with Beyonce's Naughty Girl and I think an third song I didn't recognize, who knows? At that point, I was just glad to see her leave the stage; what a disappointment.
Gavin Creel was up next. He began his set with a mashup of hits from all the shows he's been a part of. I heard Put on Your Sunday Clothes, What Do I Need With Love, Ilona, Bad Idea, You and Me (But Mostly Me), and a moment of I've Got Life. This was a great way to kick things off; a reminder of all he's accomplished on Broadway thus far. Next, after a joke about always finding your light onstage, he performed Moving Too Fast from The Last Five Years, a personal favorite of mine. Then he did a song he wrote for a showcase he'll be putting on sometime next year. After that, he sat down at the piano to do Something Wonderful from the King and I. He ended his set with The Flesh Failures/Let the Sunshine In. Now, I knew he'd do something from Hair. I'd been hoping it'd be either Going Down (if you really want to hear someone gush about his version of that song, check out Seth Rudetsky's review on YouTube, it's delightful) or Where Do I Go?, but he chose the closing number instead. Not a bad decision, but it's not a song that can be performed solo. So, as it came time for the female lead's part in the song, I figured Cynthia or Ariana would come out to join him. That's the sort of thing that happens a lot at Elsie Fest. People will pop into each others sets to help out. Last year, famously, Will Roland, Grant Gustin, and Darren Criss teamed up to do Sincerely, Me during Grant's short set. And who could forget Aaron Tveit popping up during Leslie Odom Jr.'s set to duet with him on What You Own? But, for some unknown reason, Gavin tried to do the whole song by himself which just didn't work. So his strong set ended on kind of a sour note. I will say, Gavin's approach to crafting his setlist was perfect. He chose a good variety showtunes (old and new) and gave us a taste of what might be coming next for him. People working on set lists for next year ought to take notes. My only critique would be the lack of a female voice during his last number. Other than that, flawless.
Next, the cast of the upcoming show, Jagged Little Pill, took the stage. I had been looking forward to their performance as the show's been generating quite a bit of buzz since its out of town tryout last summer in Boston. At last year's Elsie Fest, both The Prom and Be More Chill performed two numbers a piece. So, with that blueprint in mind, I figured Jagged Little Pill would do maybe a lesser known Alanis song first and then end with a big hit. They started their set with Forgiven. It was a lesser known song that utilized the entire cast so it made for a strong opening number. I figured they'd end with something more well know like, You Learn or You Oughta Know. So I was genuinely shocked when they left the stage after only performing one song. What happened to their second song? Did they run out of time? Or, if for some reason they were only allowed one number this year, why did they choose such an obscure song? This was their chance to get the audience fired up for their new show, and by only performing Forgiven, they failed to do that. It was such a bizarre choice.
Cynthia Erivo, the lady of the hour, was up next. I'd missed her set at Elsie Fest 2016 so I was all the more eager to see which songs she'd choose to perform this time around. I figured she'd have to do one from The Color Purple, but the rest was anyone's guess. Would she go modern? Classic? A mix of both? There was no way of know, but I was excited to find out. She came out on stage, full of poise and grace, wearing these adorable cat-eye glasses and greeted the audience in such a sweet way. She seemed genuinely thrilled to see us all. She kicked off her set with Elvis's Can't Help Falling in Love. She sang it beautifully, but it was an odd choice. Then she sang Ain't No Way by Aretha Franklin. Again, she sang it flawlessly; this is Cynthia Erivo we're talking about. Everything she sings could be recorded and used as part of a master class in vocal performance. But where were the the showtunes? We were 0 for 2, and I was starting to get that worried feeling again. Then Darren came onstage with his guitar and accompanied her on Miss Celie's Blues by Quincy Jones. Also not a Broadway song, but it was featured in the film version of The Color Purple so it was a sort of nod to Broadway, I suppose. Then she did One Night Only. Finally, a showtune! Not one that I happen to like, but that point, I was desperate for something, anything. Next, she did a slowed down version of I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston, and I sighed internally. It's not that I don't like the song, I do, but it was yet another pop song. Clearly, no one had given the night's performers any sort of guidance so they were just singing, whatever. Cynthia followed up the Whitney Houston number with Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. If you're thinking to yourself, that's not a showtune either, you would be correct. The Lauper tune was how she ended her set. Again, like everything she performed, she sang it beautifully. My issue with her set was the overall lack of Broadway. This is Elsie Fest, a celebration of Broadway music. As a Broadway fan, that's what I want to hear. If I wanted to hear nothing but oldies, I'd go to an oldies music festival, if I wanted to hear all rock and roll, I'd go to one of those festivals, and so on and so on. I come to Elsie Fest for the showtunes, both old and new.
The last set before Darren's was Michael Feinstein's. Right off the bat, saving Michael's set for so late in the night was a very bad idea. He should have gone first or very nearly first when the audience was fresh and more forgiving. Michael is a very wealthly older gentleman. I don't know how he made his millions, but he was able to buy and open the cabaret club 54 Below so he's clearly got a few pennies tucked away. Maybe he flashed a few of those pennies to get such a prime timeslot, but that was a mistake. The audience was bored to tears by his set. Standing there while he performed I started to feel like the whole night up to that point had been a bit of a lousy dichotomy. Either listen to pop and RnB sung beautifully when all you want to hear are showtunes, or listen to showtunes sung poorly. I was standing there thinking, “Isn't there an option C? Didn't I pay to attend option C?” Yeah, Michael probably had a lovely voice back in the day, but that day has long since passed. He started his set with A Lot of Living to Do and then gave the audience a lecture on why Bye Bye Birdie is so important to the history of musical theater. Next, he did I Only Have Eyes for You from 42nd Street. He'd lost the crowd at that point. People were BORED. Then, after another lecture, he did the St. Louis Blues, badly. Then he put together I Don't Want to be Lonely Tonight with One Less Bell to Answer. The next song he did cannot, apparently, be googled so it will have to remain a mystery. Finally, at long last, he closed out his set with a Frank Sinatra medley. Darren came out to join him, which woke the audience up (some had literally laid down and gone to sleep). Looking back over his set, all 6 songs (5 too many if you ask me), I can't help but draw the conclusion that he gave the organizers of Elsie Fest an inordinate amount of money for a chance to perform. I hope they spend it wisely next year.
At long last, it was time for Darren's set. He had to go on 20 minutes late so we'll never know which songs he was forced to cut from the lineup. All I do know is that the 7 songs he chose were all winners. He kicked things off with a Glee song, Everybody Wants to Rule the World. It was excellent, pop at its finest. Next, he did Waving Through a Window and the crowd lost their minds. Fear not, I was right there with them; cheering and grinning like an idiot. If the crowed seemed keyed up during the Dear Evan Hansen number, they found a new stratosphere of joy to reach when he next performed Wait for It from Hamilton. It felt like suffering through all the bad sets that night had been worth it, almost. Next he pulled out his guitar and started to perform Wig in a Box and, I kid you not, I almost started crying. It had been a long night, full of disappointments, and Darren's set was pure perfection. He then paused, midway through the song, to bring out Lena Hall. What a treat! She sang her verse powerfully and then, Darren paused again to introduce John Cameron Mitchell, and the three of them brought the song home. I felt so euphoric at that point that I lack the words to properly describe it. What a historic moment! How do you follow something like that up? By taking things back to Hogwarts! First Jamie Lyn Beatty joined Darren on stage to perform Harry from AVPM. Next, Joey Richter and Lauren Lopez performed Granger Danger to riotous applause. Then, for the final number of Elsie Fest 2019, the entire Star Kid crew came out do do Goin' Back to Hogwarts. It was such a special moment; being in that crowd of fans singing along 10 years after the musical blew up online. After team Star Kid took their final bows, Darren thanked us and said he hoped to see us back next year.
Final thoughts, I hope to see him back next year too. But I also hope the organizers of Elsie Fest take a good hard look at how things went this year, and make some changes. First off, the festival needs to be held on a Sunday. To put on a festival, you need attendees and performers, and you're not going to get enough of either on a Saturday, you're just not. Second, they need to start booking talent now. They need names to bring people in. Because, even if fans are available, they're sure as heck not making the trip to see Michael Feinstein, someone who will be in a Spielberg film next year, and a kid from Pose. I'll even leave a few suggestions here: Ben Platt, Jonathan Groff, Lin Manuel Miranda, Jessie Mueller, Alex Brightman, Ethan Slater, Renee Elise Golsberry, Telly Leung, Eva Noblezada, George Salazar, Jenn Colella, etc. Third and finally, they need to have a good long think about what they want Elsie Fest to be. If they want it to remain a celebration of Broadway, then they need to book performers who are committed to that vision. If they want to change the vision, they need to let the audience know ahead of time so they can make an informed decision when buying tickets. To be perfectly honest, I felt a bit duped this year. I had paid for one thing but had gotten something else instead. So, there you are, Elsie Fest organizers. Do those three things between now and next October, and you'll have a successful festival in 2020.
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creepygamerpasta · 5 years
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My Defense of Dear Evan Hansen
Okay, disclaimer: I wasn’t really into Dear Evan Hansen, so I don’t know the musical itself all too well (except of course, like everyone, “Sincerely, Me”). I recently read the novel of it (which was written by the creators, so I think the only difference is the fact that the prose doesn’t rhyme). I’m not a “day-one, die-hard fan,” and I do not have an obsession with it. That being said, I enjoyed the novel a lot. It’s not usually a genre I read, but it certainly piqued my interest for YA mental health novels. 
Why, then, do people hate it?
I’ve looked online for this answer, and I’ve been able to find some recurring arguments, which are quite valid even if you don’t agree. (Not everyone has to like the same things, I know.) So, here are my responses and counter-arguments. (Note, contains spoilers, and I won’t necessarily outright disagree with everything.)
1. The fanbase is annoying, toxic, etc.
This is probably the easiest to get out of the way. Yes, there will always be people within a fanbase whose entire lives revolve around their fandom. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; who can fault you for being passionate about something? But it’s when that passion turns into hate or putting someone else’s tastes or general completely down because that person doesn’t like exactly what the fan likes when people get really angry. I’ll use an unrelated scenario to DEH as an example:
Person A: Do you like Taylor Swift?
Me: Eh, I’m not really into her music. I’m more into metal and stuff.
Person A: Oh, okay, cool. :)
Person B: OMG WTF stop being a HATER. Metal SUCKS. You’re just JEALOUS that she has TALENT.
...See? This is the same sort of reactions that people get, not just from DEH fans but from all sorts of fans. (I’ve gotten both of these exact reactions from various fans of different singers, actors, celebrities, movies, TV shows, etc.)
2. The musical is not that great, as in the scores and stuff.
I don’t see why this particularly angers people. I see this more as an evolution of the types of music in musicals. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here, but musicals exist for people to want to see them. And if the target audience is the younger generation, then it does not make sense to use music that most of them A) won’t like and B) won’t understand. I mean, Hamilton is known for its use of rap, (dare I say) “nontraditional” music in the theatre world. And people like it. 
Which brings me to the next point...
3. Young people (who obviously cannot have appreciation for true theatre) will expect musicals like Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen to become the norm and for there to be a “big” musical every year.
...okay? So? Look, if people want to go to a musical, then they’ll go. If they want to go to another musical, then they’ll go to that one. It’s not rocket science. And as for this sometimes-unspoken assumption that young people can’t understand/appreciate theatre... Last time I checked, there were still theatre kids in schools across the country, so at least some people can.
And now, we go to the part of the defense where I rely more on the novel.
4. The main character (Evan) is neither compelling nor a good person, and thus, should not be the main character (and, by extension, the entire musical should not exist).
In the book, it is made very clear that Evan is not a perfect character. He’s a human being and has flaws just like everyone. His whole “pretending to be Connor’s friend thing” is less a manipulative move and more of “wrong place, wrong time, and I don’t know how to explain.” Though he’s supposed to be relatable, you are not expected to like him. Other characters question his motives for The Connor Project and his relationship to Connor, but with the first person, inner-thoughts, deepest-darkest-secrets style that the book has, it is very clear that Evan is (in his complex way) trying to help the Murphys with their loss. He does get a bit carried away, probably without realizing it, but even though he did not mean to hurt them, the guilt of his lies eats away at him the entire book.
Evan admits to lying, in person at the Murhpys. He knows that even though his longtime crush and now girlfriend (he even describes her as his soulmate and wants to marry her) will hate him, not to mention her parents, he cannot keep lying to them. 
I think one of the problems with DEH specific to this problem is the hype about Evan himself. As the audience, we want to paint Evan as a hero. Descriptions put him in that light. He does overcome a lot through the novel and goes through quite a bit of change, but he is not the flawless hero (or the one-flaw antihero) people want him to be. He is a human being, and I think fans and haters forget this or overlook this, despite it being such an important part of the novel/musical.
5. DEH makes fun of mental illness and doesn’t take it seriously. It falsely portrays people with depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, etc.
This grinds a lot of my gears. Mental illnesses are different for everyone. Is there some assumption people have that I’m not aware of? The assumption that people actually think that everyone who has anxiety or is suicidal will act exactly like Evan and Connor? It might not match up with every individual’s experience/struggle with a mental illness, but that’s kind of one of the themes of DEH: that people have different lives, different struggles, different baggage, and different ways of coping, healthy or unhealthy. Everyone has a different story, and no one should be left to deal while feeling alone. Pay attention to those around you.
The lighter-hearted music seems to also make people perceive DEH to be making fun of/not taking mental health seriously. Which is ridiculous. There are some serious songs in that soundtrack, and the upbeat “Sincerely, Me” is supposed to be from fake personas. Connor’s persona in that song is supposed to be feeling better as days go by with the help of his “friend” Evan. So, yes, it makes sense that would be cheerful because it is not from the perspective of the real Connor. If it were, the song would probably be a lot darker.
6. The musical is homophobic and makes fun of the LGBT+ community.
If you were to walk into an elementary, middle, or high school right now and overhear every conversation, I gaurantee you, gaurantee you, that some students would be using “gay” as some sort of put-down or otherwise make fun of LGBT+ people. That doesn’t mean it’s right or acceptable, but having two high school guys (or really one, seeing as how Evan does not go along with the joke) make remarks about two (supposedly) close guys being gay is not something new. This complaint probably mainly comes from the line in “Sincerely, Me” in which Connor’s and Evan’s personas deny being close for anything other than friendship. And honestly? As a member of the LGBT+ community, this confusion comes up a lot. Whether you are out or not, closeness between friends is often interpreted as a romantic or sexual relationship, which of course is not the case. 
Last time I checked, there wasn’t anything hateful toward the LGBT+ community. Jared’s jokes, while horribly sexual and inappropriate, were just immature. His jokes are essentially the high school equivalent of “That’s what she said.” I mean, who doesn’t know someone like that in their life? If I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.
Oh, and also? It is revealed in the novel that Connor did in fact have a relationship with a guy, Miguel.
7. People talk about the relatability of the musical without actually relating.
Okay, yes, annoying, but I don’t see why people should immediately fault this. You do not know the experiences or thoughts of people online and on social media, but this means that you can’t judge whether or not they do relate to something. The first thing that comes to mind with the word “relatable” when it comes to this musical would, of course, be mental health. Since the most notable characters both struggle with mental illnesses, it makes sense that you would expect the people who relate to this musical to also struggle with mental illness(es). But there is no law that everyone who relates to a character has to be exactly like that character. 
I’ll use another example from a different work, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. (Quick little note: Frankenstein is the scientist, not the creature. The Creature is actually quite complex and a deep character that is not the mindless monster from movies.)
Frankenstein: wealthy, a genius, comes from a high(ish) class, (presumably) handsome
Creature: neglected, hated for his ugliness, abandoned by Frankenstein, feared, smart
I doubt anyone was stitched together from dead bodies and then somehow reanimated. But you might relate to the fact that the Creature was abandoned or that people fear and hate him because of his looks. I also doubt that anyone has figured out the secret to reanimating dead bodies after taking them apart and stitching them together. But you might also (or solely) relate to Frankenstein because he lost his mother or because he feels responsible for a family member’s death. Those are some examples.
And there are plenty of characters that you could relate to or aspects of characters that speak to you. Maybe you’ve built a tangle of lies like Evan without meaning to, or maybe you have gone through a hard divorce and try so hard to get through to your child without success like Heidi, or maybe you really care about making a difference and don’t feel like the people who are supposed to help you take that seriously like Alana.
That about wraps it up. If I’ve missed anything, feel free to tell me, and I’ll make a follow-up post. 
Again, I’m not demanding that you agree with me, but hopefully, whether a fan or critic, you have now seen a different perspective.
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imagitory · 5 years
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54
54) Cabinet Battle #3 - Is there something you know you’re hypocritical about? 
Whew – starting with a personal one! *takes a breath* Okay…
Throughout my life, I’ve had many friends with less-than-stellar parents. It’s something I’m a bit sensitive to, considering my own uncomfortable relationship with my father.
My parents split when I was seven, and my father dropped out of my life from an emotional standpoint until I was about ready to graduate high school. He was physically around – he paid child support and I visited him – but he stopped involving himself in my life and even when I would visit him, he would frequently hide away in his office rather than spend time with me. He wouldn’t be awake until almost 11 AM every morning and he never kept anything like cereal or snacks that I could eat in the house, so I used to have to hide a box of water crackers (one of the few things that didn’t need preparation that I found in the cupboard) in my room and eat those until my dad was awake and could make breakfast. He almost never came to any of my plays in middle or high school or even the end-of-the-summer shows we would do for my summer theater programs, even though he was once a performer himself and I always wanted him to be there. He never asked to read any of my poetry or stories, even when that became my primary mode of expressing my darker feelings – even if I might not have been comfortable enough to share them with him, such interest, like the kind my mom, my aunt, my friends, my teachers, and my godmother had, would’ve still been validating. He never knew any of my teachers and almost none of my friends, and he had absolutely no interest in learning anything about my interests excluding the ones that were directly tied to his, like artists he had CDs for that I liked. This isn’t even touching on how the first woman he dated after the divorce (within a few months, may I add) was an honest-to-God, real-life Lady Tremaine, who hated me purely because I was the “other woman’s” kid and hated sharing my dad with me even on the few days I would come over, and basically forced me to hide away in the guest room at their apartment and not bother them the entire time I was there. And the worst part? I refused to tell my mom (who I even now am very close to) about any of this because I internalized everything that happened and convinced myself that what I was going through was nothing I couldn’t handle and that it was probably partly my fault anyway. I didn’t tell her about how terrible Dad’s first girlfriend was to me, about how Dad had basically let her walk over me – about how Dad was so obsessed with his own life apart from ours that he seemed to never have time for me, and yet he was so content just hiding away in his games and ignoring me when I was over – how hurt I had been when, after promising he’d call every night before bed after the divorce, he stopped his nightly calls within a week.
After all that, when I turned 17, he became interested again – but not in the way most children would like. He suddenly had random advice for me, like that I should go get an internship in a law office, even though at the time I was working to become a teacher. When I considered going into Film and Television, he started crowing about how I would one day be giving a speech to the Academy for Best Actress and thanking my parents for all of their support, which was sort of encouraging but also sort of unhelpful as even I knew that I wasn’t going to make it as an actress thanks to my lack of Hollywood-worthy looks and how much I’d already been pidgeon-holed role-wise. When I started working for Disney, he started flip-flopping about whether I should become the CEO of the damn company or if I should drop the job like it’s hot because I could earn so much more money. He’s even recently suggested that I drop my comfortable roommate-ship near my job to move in with him and his new girlfriend in another state so I can get a degree in Hospitality and work in one of the hotels there…all while completely ignoring that I’m both fighting for my financial and physical independence and still in love with my current job.
Despite all the ways he has hurt me, however, I still love my dad. He’s a superbly flawed human being, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his strengths. He’s an amazingly sharp, witty, sensitive man who has been hurt a lot in his life but still tries very hard to keep going, no matter what. Our attitudes have always been very similar, despite our different approaches to life – we both get super passionate about our interests and about politics; we’re both incredibly sensitive people who hide our insecurities and express ourselves best through the written word; we both love music, film, and the arts; we both are pie-in-the-sky dreamers who are enamored with different cultures; we’re both huge geeks with a love of fantasy…we even both share the bad habit of getting passive-aggressive during arguments, though I’ve tried hard to fight that inclination. He lost his wife (my stepmother) two years ago, and it shattered his whole world. (It broke my heart too, and my mom and stepmom were actually good friends, so it hurt her a lot as well.) My dad cut his mother out of his life for many years, only reconnecting with her when I was starting college, and I’ve seen how much it hurt him. Along with his second wife, he’s also lost both his older sister and his best friend to premature death.He’s never had the familial support network that I’ve had, and he’s never had much luck, but he’s an unbelievably strong person who always tries and always fights. He believes in a higher ideal and won’t settle for anything less. He may not know me, really, but he still loves me and he still wants me in his life. Even his not-so-great attempts at affection – pressuring me toward certain career paths, over-inflating my talents, trying to engage me through his interests rather than engaging with mine – are undoubtedly sincere attempts. He’s a true Gryffindor, valiant and noble despite his shortcomings, and I’ve actively fought to keep in my life, even if it means never fully broaching the extent of our divide. I have to constantly sidestep and leap over it, pretending it doesn’t exist, because if I do call attention to it, it might rip itself so wide that my dad might cut himself off for good. Even if I can’t exactly forget, I have to forgive him.
Okay, so really long backstory, what’s this all building up to? My hypocrisy is that although I’m always so supportive of my friends when they cut family members, significant others, or friends out of their lives for the harm they’ve done, I will never, ever do so with my father. I’ve had plenty of friends expressing disbelief and upset that I haven’t. But call me a hypocrite if you want, I can’t do it. I’ve seen the pain that can come from cutting a parent out of one’s life, after seeing my father with his mother, and I’ve promised myself that I will try hard only to emulate my father’s best self, not his mistakes.
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Hamilton Ask!
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emiliaboone · 6 years
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My Anxiety Playlist
So I’m a little frustrated and anxious today. Can’t tell by the title? Well, now you can! So yesterday, I lost 2 days worth of work. It just....vanished. And I can’t really do anything about it, I just have to start completely over again, and that’s....a lot! So the first thing I always do in times like this is make a cup of tea, take a deep breath, and put on my anxiety playlist, literally the best idea I ever had for myself and my anxiety attacks. So these are the songs that never fail to calm me down (in order, because of course there’s an order!)
1. You’re the Voice-John Farnham: This song is a power ballad from the 1980s by an Australian singer singing a song that was kind of popular in the US for a while (if conversations with my parents are to be believed!) which I first heard when I stumbled across a backstage video for the programme Merlin on BBC. In it, the stars were messing around, singing this song. Ever since then, this song has been associated with Merlin, which is my anxiety TV show. Along with Phineas and Ferb, I put this show on whenever I’m sad or upset, so this song, and it’s association with that very magical story, always cheers me up! Also: I was super psyched recently to find a version of this song by Michael Ball and Alfie Boe, which you can find here!
2. I’ll Try-Jonatha Brooke from Peter Pan 2: There are a couple of lyrics in this song that always get to me: “Mustn’t let them see me cry, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Which I used to repeat as a mantra, especially when I was stressed at work. In hindsight, it’s not a great mantra, but when you’re a server, you probably shouldn’t cry in front of the customers! I also have a weird obsession with Peter Pan in general, so that helps, but the song is beautiful regardless and just calms you down! Also, there’s a classic Jesse McCartney version of this song here!
3. This is Me-Keala Settle from The Greatest Showman: The most recent addition to my playlist that was just kinda sandwiched in there, this became an anthem for so many people so quickly. And it’s beautiful! It makes me happy and empowered every time I hear it! If I’m honest, my actual favourite song on the soundtrack, the one that should be on this playlist is Never Enough, found here, but for some reason it didn’t really fit in with the vibe of the rest of the playlist so I never switched the songs. That’s bullshit, obviously, especially since this is my go-to song whenever I need to just scream. It’s so beautiful and it makes me feel better every single time, so honestly either of these songs are great, This is Me is just the one more commonly an anxiety song, I think!
4. Hushabye Mountain from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, cover by Stacy Kent: This song IS my anxiety song. By far my favourite on this list, this song immediately calms me by that sucks initial chords, it being a lullaby probably helps!! So I love the version of this from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but it’s really hard to get a good version. And this cover by Stacy Kent is just mesmerising. Just to warn you though, a similar cover to this one by Maggie Szabo was used in a particularly creepy moment in criminal minds, so it can give you the wrong king of chills depending on the context!
5. We Know the Way-Opetaia Foa’i and Lin-Manuel Miranda from Moana: The story behind my love for this song is a simple one. I. Love. Hamilton. So obviously I was BEYOND excited not only that Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote a song for the movie, but that he SANG IN IT! Easily the most fun song of the movie, this song makes me dance a lot, and just hearing this song about freedom and exploration just makes me really happy.
6. There are Worse Things I Could Do-Vanessa Hudgens in Grease Live: I couldn’t tell you why this version of the song. I like the lyrics a lot, even though I’m not a huge fan of Grease. I like the idea of someone proving to the world that she’s not who people thing she is, which is something that I really relate to. I think everyone does. But I think the story behind this particular performance, the emotional performance the day after her father died, is why I choose this performance over others. Great song regardless, though!
7. Light in the Hallway-Pentatonix: So this song is just fucking. beautiful. I love it. And Avi! His voice! Anyway enough fangirling, so besides this song being just absolutely gorgeous, it’s really calming. Being a lullaby, I used to play this to myself if I had trouble falling asleep, because the harmonies just put your mind in a sleepy mood, which I love. And That’s why it’s on here, it can mesmerise you and just take you out of everything, remove you from your stress. Also Avi. 
8. You Will Be Found-Ben Platt from Dear Evan Hansen: Ok. Time to cry. So my sister was obSESSED with this show when it premiered. And for good reason, obviously. But I got kind of oversaturated with it. But one day I got it stuck in my head and just listened to it, and I was just sobbing. It’s amazingly beautiful, and really needs no explanation for why it’s on here. It’s exactly what everyone needs when they’re going through a rough anxiety time.
9. Once Upon a December-Liz Callaway from Anastasia: I love this song. It’s just so beautiful. The waltz just lulls you into a sense of calm and you just move along with the beauty of it. And if you’re feeling adventurous, especially if you’re in a car, put this on loudly, the middle section just swells and oh my god it’s gorgeous. And what really helps me relax is that there’s actually a flute playing the melody behind the vocals, which as a flute player, I really appreciate. It’s beautiful, and this song goes way back for me, even when the movie didn’t, and it’s been something I’ve used to calm me down for years. 
10. He Lives in You-Lebo M. from Rhythm of the Pride Lands and the Lion King: This song has a pretty intense history. With me, and my family, at least. I first heard this song as a sophomore in high school (so...late) when the Young Americans theatre group came to visit my school. Their Lion King Medley was their finale, so we all sang this song, which ended with an epic rendition of the Circle of Life. The song is also beautiful and emotional on its own, but that finale represented something really important in me. I hadn’t been treated well in high school, I was a pushover and let people walk all over me. But in that performance I was identified as one of the best dancers in the group (which didn’t mean much, we weren’t a dance heavy school) and allowed to perform a solo (not to this song, but still), while my younger sister was identified as a singer and did something similarly. Being told I was really good at something and allowed to show that to people gave me so much confidence I didn’t have before. Later that year I tried out for drum major (conductor) for our marching band, which I got, and ended up leading the band in one of my first leadership roles ever. And this song rounding out the show made it incredibly emotional for me. Separately, when my other sister was 9, a kid in her class, whom she was friends with in kindergarten, died of brain cancer, and it affected her deeply. Years later, after experiencing the Young Americans as well, she formed an emotional attachment to this song in relation to her friend. And when she turned 18, got it tattooed on her shoulder in Swahili as a tribute to his memory. So the song became something emotional for my family, and it’s still emotional for me. 
So those are my 10 songs on my anxiety playlist! I know they’re like all showtunes and a few are relatively recent, but those are the types of songs I get emotional attachments to! I’m mostly proud of how few of them were Disney!
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come-see-our-show · 2 years
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I posted 1,544 times in 2021
195 posts created (13%)
1349 posts reblogged (87%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 6.9 posts.
I added 1,052 tags in 2021
#mine - 256 posts
#theater icons - 184 posts
#in the heights - 115 posts
#mine sort of - 86 posts
#theater - 81 posts
#the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee - 77 posts
#falsettos - 71 posts
#the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee - 64 posts
#mean girls on broadway - 63 posts
#rent - 55 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#he agreed to let his financially struggling friends not pay rent for a year and then changed his mind last minute for his own financial gain
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
not to fuck up your perception of reality or anything but spring awakening and newsies take place at the same time
126 notes • Posted 2021-01-31 13:40:54 GMT
#4
my friend doesn't know anything about theater and when i was talking about "broadway divas" she asked me what that was, so i said "they're the milfs of broadway"
133 notes • Posted 2021-05-12 17:27:15 GMT
#3
The line “Less of a Marilyn, more of a Jackie” is so clever when you think about it. For those who don’t know, Marilyn Monroe was actually brilliant, but she was also great at playing the role of the Dumb Blonde. Warner assumed Elle wasn’t anything more than her looks, just like Hollywood assumed Marilyn wasn’t anything more than her looks.
158 notes • Posted 2021-06-23 14:54:00 GMT
#2
straight friend groups be like: *blonde girl* *chad* *the funny one* *kyle* *brunette girl* *frat boy*
gay friend groups be like: *filmmaker who uses deflection as a defense mechanism* *hermit guitar player* *dancer who uses drugs to escape reality* *college professor who went streaking in the pentagon* *drag queen who killed a dog for money* *lesbian lawyer* *bisexual bitch*
374 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 03:02:02 GMT
#1
Things I Found Noteable in the ITH Movie (ft. spoilers)
Anthony COMPLETELY made Usnavi his own! Ok king I see you!
The pothole being a record?
I was lowkey expecting we'd be queerbaited but thank GOD we weren't
Dani and Carla just,,,, being domestic,,, Carla on Dani's lap at the pool,,, slow dancing in the apartment,,, good for them ❤️
Usnavi and Kevin's shared hand move on "Are we gonna eat!" ....uncle/nephew rights
The camera work! The editing!! The colors!!! The choreography!!!! Everything is so electric!!!!!
"Why is the fandom so obsessed with Sonny?" *watches the movie* "Oh..."
The title cards with the temperatures
Vansnavi being the main couple instead of Benina actually worked really well! I was a bit sad we saw less of Nina, but Vanessa being developed as well as her relationship with Usnavi made up for it.
I'm so glad we know exactly why Vanessa wants to go downtown! Sis has a plan
Nina's hair getting more and more curly
Leslie Grace's take on Nina was very different than the ones I've seen before but I loved it!!!
lol the Hamilton reference
Piraguero JOMPED on that truck
Also... Lin isn't that bad of a singer. Fuckin chill
My brother thinks he was like a Sephardic Tevye and I agree tbh
The dialogue feels so organic and real, especially with Usnavi and Vanessa in the kitchen
My heart kinda broke when Nina revealed she got searched
All of these moments of everyone just being a family,,, Claudia watching them and dying peacefully because she doesn't need to take care of them anymore, not when they all have each other
Paciencia y Fe as Claudia's journey to death
It's such a quick moment but Claudia being robbed in the middle of her solo 😤 sir pls give the lady her purse back
Also she looked so scared when they were yelling at her to clean up 😭
Sonny having a backstory, with his deadbeat dead and being undocumented
It also gives Nina more of a motive to go back to school
Benina dancing on the building gave me a mini heart attack
Vanessa and Usnavi being former classmates
The beach transitioning into the bodega!!
Vanessa and Unsavi and their daughter being the cutest family ever???
This was so fucking good I'm losing my mind
1374 notes • Posted 2021-06-13 03:18:59 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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fourteenacross · 6 years
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2017 Fic Year in Review
2017 in fic! I still have to get used to this looking so different to how it looked from like, 2007 to 2015. I also did a lot of like...weird not!quite!fic things? Which I’m counting in my word count, just because I did put thought into them? But I’m not sure if I should? I don’t know. Anyway, I’ve had two glasses of champagne and a glass of red wine, so WHATEVER. Hamilton: Ghosthunters full-length fic Birthday Shots (2069) Commercialism, Merit Badges, and Liquid Courage (8179) Communicable (24382) Well Deserved Recognition (3738) Truth or Dare, Jungle Juice, and a Linen Closet (8532) Q&A Saturday - June 6, 2015 (1120) everyone must breathe until their dying breath (116,690*)
Ghosthunters ficlets: Mattie and Alex texting (1708) John and Francis at boarding school (794) Washington after the air grows cold around me and you (423) August 14 (573) Molly and the haunted chair (1159) Laf's sad Christmas (1656) John on the phone with his dad (1543) John's PoV on Alex's birthday body shots (1606) Alex and John's tattoo (2326) John at the beginning of but i won't go far away (1032) John draws Alex (1888) John is reckless (2036) John explains his tattoo (1307) John and Alex eat poptarts in bed (1924) Jo and Mattie, Jo realizes she's in love (715) John's birthday and turtles (1275)
Ghosthunters apocrypha: John's in the hospital (840) The Schuyler-Hamilton-Laurenses get a dog (332) July 12 (1634) August 27 (1535) November 24 (4020)
Three sentence ficlets: Herc and breakfast (129) Angelica leaving for London (canon fic) (133) John falling in love (102) Alex and art (119) Ghosthunters + tetanus shots (161) Eliza, first day of summer (113) Laf meeting George and Martha for the first time (180) John, first kiss with a boy (165) Burr, drunk and alone (172) John and Francis, getting together (164)
Ghosthunters Not!Fic: John and Mattie, fake dating (2563)
Non-Ghosthunters Hamilton fic: John and Alex share a bed on a roadtrip (2396) Supplemental not!fic to the above (2497) Alex and John on the dance floor with a surprise slow song (2038) Alex and John, almost drowning (3076) Supplement to the above (2335)
Not!Fic: John and his ghost boyfriend (4555) John and Alex, "summer in the city" roommates for a summer internship AU (1491) John and Alex, "may we meet again" teen besties meet again as adults and fall in love AU (2347) Hamilton noir AU, "we get the job done" (1522) Alex and John, "the world turned upside down" BFFs -> lovers AU (6161) Fem4Ham, "helpless" soulmate AU (6613)
Gravity Falls: Mabel, first crush on a girl (118)
Great Comet Not!Fic: Sonya, No One is Alone (756)
MCU: Sam and Steve and trick-or-treaters (467)
Grand Total Fandoms: 4 Total Full Length Fic: 7 Total Ficlets: 46 Grand Total Stories: 53 Grand Total Word Count: 235,409* 
* I'm including all the words of the ghosthunters summer story that I’ve written so far, even the ones that haven’t been posted.
Overall Thoughts: Man, this list looks so long, but it’s still so far off the mark that I had intended to hit.
This was a hard year, creatively. It was for everyone, I think, but after having a really great upswing in 2016 when my meds had leveled out, it felt particularly dire to me, even though I knew I wasn’t alone. It’s hard to absorb that sometimes, you know?
I’m disappointed I didn’t finish this summer story before the end of the year. I was making very good time this summer and cranked out like 60k words on a really good schedule. I took a break for DragonCon and the associated scrambling and packing, and then never got back on the horse. It’s one of those things where I can’t tell if it was self-discipline or brain stuff or exhaustion, but I’m mad at myself all the same, cause I’m like that. I’ve still got another 30k to write and I’m going to try to get back on a schedule and stick to it to push out these last couple scenes, but I still keep kicking myself about the whole thing.
A lot of it comes back to something I was talking about in last year’s round up, which is not having, essentially, @pearlo in this fandom. I spent like, five years sending Erica a constant stream of fic ideas and dialogue snippets and talking out every fic idea and texting her in the middle of the night with AUs and all sorts of other shit and it’s a hard transition to not having that built in. It was how I worked out a lot of issues and also expressed a lot of joy. It feels a little like screaming into a void on here, at times, and while you’re all lovely and I appreciate all your encouragement and feedback, talking about your own work all the time occasionally makes one feel like an egomaniac. So...that’s a thing.
On to more positive things! I really liked doing those sort of not!fic things--it got some of my creative juices flowing when I was blocked on ghosthunters and scratched the itch of starting a zillion stories that I had great ideas for but no time to actually follow to the finish line. Doing ficlet memes and stuff, too, felt really good, taking requests and such. Holding in-person writing dates was super helpful, and having @lisapizza around to occasionally badger into hanging out with me so I could talk about this shit.
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? I definitely expected to finish more, but numberwise and contentwise. I probably shouldn’t be surprised that I got much less done than I intended, given how weird the whole year has been, but I’m still kind of bummed. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Hmmmmm....I don’t know that there’s anything that I wouldn’t have predicted? Everything is pretty on par with what I’ve been doing for the past couple years? What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I loved a lot of the stories I wrote this year, because I'm super obsessed with myself. [[< -- I think I've kept that sentence in for the past few years because it remains true]] It’s hard to name anything other than everyone must breathe until their dying breath. I’ve been working on it for two years, on and off, and it was one of the first bits of character building I did as I started to create the verse. There are a lot of wonderful little character moments in it and a lot of parts I really just genuinely enjoyed writing.
Communicable was also something I was working on for a while, and there are so many lovely quiet moments. @the-everqueen actually pulled out my favorite bit of that story for commentary--that whole night they spend together at the Washingtons’ and John’s conversation with Martha the next morning were a joy to write.
Outside of the ghosthunters, the #fem4ham soulmate AU has eaten my brain and soul, and the ficlet about John and Alex sharing a bed really made me wish I had a million extra hours in the day to write about that universe’s John and his struggles. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Not any huge ones? I think my biggest “risk” is the same mistake I make over and over again--feeling pressured to give people an ETA on the next story and then....totally missing that deadline. I’ve gotta stop doing that, for serious. My best story of this year: Definitely everyone must breathe until their dying breath. There are a LOT of moving parts on that thing that are still only slowly unfurling. I wish I had finished the whole thing in 2017 /o\ My most popular story of this year: Okay, see, chaptered stories totally throw off AO3 stats. Hit counts, kudos count, comment count...all of that is inflated by repeatedly pushing those fics to the top of the tags and having people come back for each chapter and all of that. Also, timing? The stuff that was up in January obviously has more hits than the stuff that only just came up in December. 
That being said, I think everyone must breathe is probably my most popular fic, but who really knows? Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I wouldn’t say any of the full-length fics are under-appreciated, but I’m so obsessed with the #fem4ham that I sometimes forget that it has less than thirty notes and no one but @lisapizza (and @charmingpplincardigans, based on her comments today at brunch) really cared about it when I posted it XD
Most fun story to write: I wrote Birthday Shots in one sitting and it was the kind of doofy, dialogue-based stuff that’s always pretty fun to play around with. I also liked the ghosthunters apocrypha with John being loopy on anesthesia, which I wrote entirely on the plane to Heroes. John’s ghost boyfriend not!fic was also the first of those that I did and it was pretty fun! Story with the single sexiest moment: Deffo the sex in the woods in VII of everyone must breathe until their dying breath. Story with the single sweetest moment: Hm. There’s a lot of sweet, that’s kind of my whole deal. I think maybe the first house-sitting scene or the train ride after seeing Ned in everyone must breathe until their dying breath. Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: Nothing really. Nothing cracky for me this year. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: The sharing a bed story and its backstory supplement were probably the things that had characterizations most different from the ghosthunters. It was a very different world to pick apart as I was thinking those through. Hardest story to write: Seeing as how I’m STILL WRITING everyone must breathe until their dying breath it is DEFINITELY THAT ONE  Biggest Disappointment: Just that I didn't finish more, I think. Biggest Surprise: That dumb bedsharing ficlet has over a hundred notes on tumblr. What the hell. I mean, I’m glad, but also surprised! Otherwise, I’m honestly just surprised you guys have stuck with me this long and been so incredibly patient 💜 Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Everything with Molly in everyone must breathe until their dying breath, for reasons that I’m foolishly hoping end up being moot, but realistically suspect are not going to come to fruition.  Plans for the next year: Goals for 2018! 300,000 words! Getting through two more anchor stories! Writing a non-ghosthunters Ham!fic! Work on my dumb novel! Maybe try some nonfiction stuff! I don’t know, just try to be more flexible and kinder to myself, but also get things done? God, who knows, the world is on fire.
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So I wrote for the school magazine but this was never published because we ran out of time. Long story. Just gonna post this here.
Lina’s Completely Self-Indulgent To-do List for You and Me
Most of these listed items are pretty mature. By that, I mean high school and older.
Upcoming Movies: Dunkirk Why don’t we just watch all of Christopher Nolan’s movies while we’re at it? Dunkirk is, yes, another WWII movie on the side of the Allies, but it’s a Nolan film, so I’m not complaining. Nobody’s complaining. Like Nolan films, it’s incredibly star-studded, with his usual Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy etc. Nolan really hasn’t given away anything by his short and simple trailers, other than what people already know about the Battle of Dunkirk. (Spoilers, they get rescued.) Release Date: July 21, USA
Spider-man: Homecoming Can I just say, I am loving new spidey. That guy is ador(k)able. Marvel is finally giving us the sassy teenage Peter that we didn’t know we needed. Release Date: July 5, Finland
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Luc Besson, director of /Leon, Nikita, and The Fifth Element/ decided to turn the futuristic sci-fi time-traveling comic series, /Valerian and Laureline,/ into a movie starring Dane DeHaan and the beautiful, beautiful Cara Delevingne. (I was slightly obsessed with Cara Delevingne in 2016.) Let’s just hope that Cara is better at acting here than she was in /Paper Towns/. Release Date: July 21, USA
Detroit From the only female director who has won the Academy Award for Best Director, Kathryn Bigelow, director of /The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty,/ comes another possibly scarring, possibly life-changing movie based on modern historical events. (By modern, I mean 50 years ago.) This time, it’s about the Algiers Motel Incident, taken place during the 1967 12th Street Riot that left three black males dead and two white females and seven black males brutally beaten by the police. Remember when I said this would be scarring? It stars John Boyega and many other beauties. Release Date: August 4, USA
The Dark Tower This is the beginning of a possible movie franchise adapted from Stephen King’s novel series of the same name. Starring Idris Elba as our formidable hero and Matthew McConaughey as our mysterious villain. If you’ve read any Stephen King or seen any adaptations, notably I’ve seen /The Mist,/ you know they’re chilling and terrifying and scarring. Watch with caution. Release Date: August 4, USA
Movies If you’re a nerd who likes to spend most of their life in a screen like me, just invest in a Netflix account (unfortunately, I get nothing out of this promo). And, all the Netflix original shows are top notch because Netflix goes all out on their shows. (Edit: DON’T TRUST NETFLIX. THEY MIGHT CANCEL YOUR FAVOURITE SHOW.)
Patriots Day (2016) It’s about the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombings. Apparently watching it the first time around is the best, according to my brother who watched it twice. For the first 20 minutes or so, you’re so tense because it’s just people getting ready for the marathon and you know what’s about to happen. That was interesting, because the movie did try to tense us up, but it didn’t try that hard. It was mostly our knowledge of the bombings that did most of the work. Most of the characters are real people, except for the main character played by Mark Wahlberg, who is fictional. It leaves you sweating from your pores (and tear ducts) at the end of the movie so drink some water before starting.
Moulin Rouge! (2001) If you’re into music, beautiful people dancing and singing, renditions of pop songs like “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Like a Virgin,” you should watch this sort of rom-com/rom-tragedy starring Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman. Go read my other article on page * for some extra info.
Inglourious Basterds (2009) Glorious cinematography. Glorious deaths. Glorious acting. The opening scene is pure gold. It’s one of those scenes you get completely lost in. It also gets you sweating from your pores. Everything from the cinematography and the acting and the set and music and everything is just so well done. Everyone who has seen this scene knows what I’m talking about. And of course, Mélanie Laurent is (one of) the main character(s) so that’s a lot of, em, eye cleansing.
Twilight (2008) Just kidding.
TV The Get Down Go read my other article on page *. Tl;dr: About the origin of hip hop in 1977 Bronx told around beautiful brown young adults with voices of angels.
Lost You have probably head of /Lost/, whether it’s something good or bad. Lost is infamous for its bad ending, which, I don’t think is that bad, but who cares about an ending when everything else is good? The premise is, a bunch of people were on a plane going from Sydney to LA but it crashes on an island. For the first couple episodes, you might think it’s just another survival show, but boy you are wrong. The episodes vary from present to flashback, the centric-character changing every episode. Try not to cringe too hard as Daniel Dae Kim completely ruins the Korean language. Lost is one of the shows I only watch when I have a lot of time because it and its soundtrack completely emotionally ruins me.
Books Sorry, this list may be shorter than the others because I shamefully admit, I don’t read as much as I watch. (Stop judging me, I know my brain cells are dying.)
Harry Potter Need I say more? If you haven’t read Harry Potter, where have you been and where is your integrity?
13 Reasons Why I read this book in the summer of 2015 and it was one of those books I couldn’t put down, not because it was so fun to read, but because my stomach was shaking with uncomfortable angst and I had to get it over with in order for my life to move on. It’s about a teenage boy who gets a mysterious tape one day. On the tape is a recording that a sort-of-friend/ex-crush, Hannah, made before she killed herself. The thirteen reasons are, yes, why she killed herself and are directed at 12 people in total (it goes to a person twice). It deals with some pretty mature content like sex, sexual assault, and obviously suicide. I think I was a little young to understand the book to its full potential, because the book is heavily about the relationship of Hannah and everyone around her and I didn’t realize relationships were so hard at the time.
Percy Jackson Yes, I can hear you snickering about how big of a nerd I am. I admit, I was obsessed with Percy Jackson, still low-key am, but to be fair, so was my mom! Whenever we would get a new book, my mom, brother, and I would pass it around none too patiently. Percy Jackson is definitely more for younger kids, i.e. middle school, because the level of darkness and death sort of stays the same throughout, unlike Harry Potter that matures along with us, becoming darker and darker. If you don’t know who Percy Jackson is, he’s the son of a mortal and Poseidon. He then struggles to save the world every book. The series really educates you in a fun way on Greek (and later, Roman, Egyptian, Norse, and who knows what next) mythology and it’s fun to see how the writer portrayed his Godly characters. It’s just a really, really fun read. Another perk is Rick Riordan seems to keep writing books, so the series doesn’t seem to ever end.
Music
Hamilton If you’re into American history, people of color, hip-hop, bromance, and death, listen to this amazing cast album of Hamilton: An American Musical (or watch the bootleg). Basically the story of Alexander Hamilton’s life, through childhood in the Caribbeans, coming to New York where dreams are made of, the American Revolution, trying to set up a government and finally his death. Will you become a non-functioning human for a couple days while you finish it? Yes. Will you start violently sobbing when you hear the name John Laurens? Yes. Will you start breaking into song and rap when you know you can’t sing or rap? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.
Harry Styles Following the classic tradition of naming your debut album after yourself, Harry Styles comes back to the music industry with this album that is completely different from One Direction (before they started writing their own songs, so this album more like MITAM). After a year (and a half) of being in the new Nolan movie (life goals right there mm mm.) and chilling in the Caribbeans, he randomly dropped news of his single “Sign of the Times” and the rest of his album in April. The album is like a time capsule from the 2007s with a mix of the 1970-80s, giving off rock god and sappy indie breakup band vibes at the same time. I’m actually listening to it as I’m writing this right now, and gosh it is good. It’s Harry doing everything he couldn’t do in a band, every song has him straining his vocal cords and (*wipes away proud tear*) you can just imagine him jumping around stage and having the time of his life.
Other
Duolingo.com (Like I said, I get 0 money out of this.) Duolingo is a website for, you may have guessed it from “duo” and “lingo,” learning languages. It’s completely free, these people don’t even require you to “upgrade your account” to do all the languages. There are most of the European languages, some Asian languages like Vietnamese (Japanese and Korean etc are in progress), Swahili, and Klingon (in progress). You can choose how seriously you want to learn and set your daily XP goal. It sends you an email and application notification so you don’t forget (but of course you can turn it off) and there’s an app too. If you do it intensively (really intensively, like a couple hundred XPs a day), I think finishing a language course during the summer is possible. It’s such a good and wholeful website/app. I’m currently learning Norwegian so if anyone wants to join, halla at me!
Learn How to Box Finally, a non-nerd item on this list! More broadly, get in the habit of working out. Whatever we’re going to do in the future, we need the stamina for it, even if you’re just going to sit at a desk all day. I’m only putting boxing up there as an example because it’s fun and it makes you feel powerful. Not that I’m an expert or anything, I did like four months and quit (lol) but I still work out in various ways. Grab a friend and convince them to go with you. Working up a sweat, even for a short time, generally makes you happy. I don’t know how much this applies to other people, but personally, I spend my workout minutes giggling most of the time. When I’m doing something really challenging, I start manically laughing. This is also an excuse for you to get your mom to let you out of the horrible cycle of hagwons and tutors!
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reds-revenge · 7 years
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im feeling evil so ALL THE LOCATION ASKS
>:( probably Josie anon, do you know how many times I gotta switch pages now? I’m kidding you’re cool mobile just sucks.
*deep breath* here we go
Amsterdam: yeah, I think so. I’ve always been the weird one, usually in a nice way but I’m still the weird one. I kinda sound like a robot when I’m tired, or trying to accomplish something, and I guess that’s not how all people think?? Anyway.
Athens: ahaha I’m not a perfectionist, I’m the PLATONIC IDEAL OF A PERFECTIONIST. Listen okay I will sink as much time as I need to get it perfect, that’s happening less with the depression bc I just can’t get it up to my standard, I’m trying to make this a Growing Opportunity and learn to set Attainable Goals, but it usually ends with me panicking instead. Ah well
Belgrade: my mother had a loooong list of names and my dad tried to mock them all, they only kept ones that you couldn’t really make weird nicknames for, one of my friends took that as a challenge and called me Kira the Mirra (like mirror) for a year, it was interesting
mom called my kiramodo dragon bc of some noise I made when I was a baby. I thought my name was baby for a while bc they called me Baby Kira my Deara. Then I decided I wasn’t a baby and dubbed myself Kira my Deara the Kid.
Berlin: well for that I’d have to KNOW what I what. I can usually do whatever, but I would really like is absolute certainty about things like do I exist, am I hurting people by existing, etc. and that’s just not something we get in this life. It’s :) so :) fun :) :) :)
Bratislava: it doesn’t have a firm genre, there’s a lot of oddly philosophical themes for something that’s mostly sci fi/ comedy, but there’s also bildungsroman elements bc life amiright, and what’s science besides a mystery?
The protagonist is Done™ with everyone including herself, there’s cephalopods.
Brussels: I’m not fluent in all the languages I borrow from but yeah I do this a lot, I’m a language nerd. I did it more often when I was younger and still liked learning Latin.
Bucharest: NOT ON PURPOSE OKAY, WE’D KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE FIVE SO ALMOST TEN YEARS AT THE TIME, I THOUGHT OF HIM AS MY BROTHER, WHY THE FUCK IS HE WRITING EMO STORIES ABOUT KISSING ME WE WERE S I B L I N G S.
I don’t think of him as family anymore but not bc of the ~*drama*~, I learned some Things and grew Wise. (Well, wisER)
Budapest: maybe, I was five, my love was unrequited. We ended up being friends bc in such a small class whatcha gonna do? We didn’t talk about that fiasco for ten years, turns out that whole declaring my love to the class thing was pretty awkward for him. Whoops.
Copenhagen: outside of old, distant relatives, no. I haven’t actually kissed someone romantically before at all, and I don’t have a desire to. I’m not saying I wouldn’t ever someday, I just haven’t sought that kinda thing out.
Dublin: between being a minor and being an obsessive rule follower, that hasn’t happened. I doubt I ever will, losing even the slightest bit of control over myself terrifies me
Helsinki: now this is interesting. I’m guessing this is referring to romantic love, but it doesn’t SAY that.
Look, I wanna be a scientist. Like really really wanna be a scientist, always have, always will. This sounds cliche but I feel like I was made for the sciences, I really do.
but I gotta go with love. Not romantic necessarily, just in general. And this isn’t a “well I’d better choose the Virtuous thing.” Like, I feel made for science, but science doesn’t mean anything if you’re not using it for something. Neither does art for that matter. Idk, but without love–for my family, my friends, for squids, for God–i just don’t see the point of this whole life thing. So yeah, I’m going with love
Kiev: YES AND FRANKLY I’D CHOOSE THE KNIFE EVERY TIME. I’m not gonna tell you EVERYTHING EVER THAT WAS SAID TO ME bc that would take way too long but yes, yes I have even when they weren’t trying to be knife words
Lisbon: I’m honestly not sure, like I like Hamilton’s America but I hate Trump’s, also I’m really drawn to the British isles and honestly France and Polynesia and India and Russia are all cool, so like I don’t feel like I belong but I might not belong anywhere if that makes sense? Idk tbh
Ljubljana: not really, I sound like my mother over the phone and if you look at baby pictures without the hair showing Greta and I get mixed up (not by family by friends) I have kind of distinctive hair, so.
London: Google says this is thinking vs feeling basically so I gotta go sense (thinking)
Luxembourg: I REGRET EVERYTHING and I often regret things deeply, like really stupid things bc of ~*damaging theology*~ but now mostly because ~*Ocd*~ (I think idk I guess maybe knocking that board over really will send me to hell, I’ve been spinning over this for YEARS)
Madrid: ALL THE TALENTS but maybe speaking fluent French, juggling, and playing guitar if you want some specifics
Moscow: No. I mean when else would I do all the thinking? Not during the day when I’m half asleep, surely.
Nicosia: whenever I’m nervous or exhausted which is most of the time now tbh
Oslo: HAhahahahaha this is hilarious. I’d like absolute 100% certainty that everything is 100% okay, always has been, and always will be. I don’t know what okay even is here but I know that 100% certainty does not exist and also everything probably isn’t okay, and EVEN IF I KNEW THIS I would still be nervous for some hellish reason, I don’t think I’ll ever actually have peace of mind :/
Paris: I mean yeah, but not more afraid than I am of most things. I guess I’m more scared I’d mess it up somehow
Podgorica: HELL YEAH. I mean, I’m curious about death and franklyitwouldntbeterribleifigothitbyasnipertomorrow @ the government, but setting that aside I’ve been raised on stories of people dying, dying for good or evil but for what they believe and I was kinda scared when I was little that I’d chicken out and surrender to the fascist government or whatever but I won’t, I’ll just do the thing, follow the rule same as any other. And even if my beliefs are wrong we’re all gonna die anyway, so
Prague: not really, no. I’ve got a good family, a good church for once, I’m heading to running start next year to study what I want, I don’t really have something to be jealous of.
I mean I’d like my brain to work but I’m not *jealous* of people who’s brains do the thing, I’m happy for them I just would like to be like that too
Reykjavik: A TINY FLOATING ISLAND COUNTRY I COULD PARK WHERE I WANTED I MEAN I DOUBT I’M GONNA MOVE PERMANENTLY OUT OF AMERICA BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS HARD AND MY FAMILY’S HERE BUT I DON’T LIKE ABSOLUTE RULES WHERE I DON’T NEED THEM
Riga: I would take as many selfies as I had to to get one I only kinda hate, I would post that one. (Yeah this is specific but I’m waiting for the technicality police over here, I totally would tho I don’t really care)
Rome: yeah but not romantically. I mean this is gonna sound weird I’m sorry but once in a blue moon I get an overwhelming sense of God and His love for me, that sounds cheesy or fake or something but I’m too tired to not be painfully honest rn
Sarajevo: TO INFINITY AND BEYOND. I wouldn’t do whatever they asked me to, I’m not gonna sign my mind over bc they’re human too and not always right and maybe the stakes are high etc, but if they need something I'ma do the thing at any cost of time, resources, sanity, etc. to myself I’ve got no boundaries here
Skopje: I honestly don’t know?? I’ve been called a lot of sweet things by a lot of sweet people and I remember EVERY SINGLE ONE and honestly I don’t think I could choose one, they’re all sweet in different ways, you know?
Sofia: not in a physical way, women are shockingly treated differently from men in Puritainville, but most people were fine with me in general if I didn’t touch certain buttons. Everyone had different buttons but never said what they were until whoops! It was fun :)
Mental health is also a super fun topic in Puritainville if you were wondering, someone told my mom when I first pulled out of school that I didn’t need a doctor, I just needed a book on Grace, because clearly my theology was why I couldn’t talk and slept fifteen hours a day
Also being Anglican was interesting, I tried explaining the whole icon thing and Lent and via media but it fell on deaf ears
I dunno if this is prejudice related or not but some guy called me a Pharisee when I was seven bc I told him off for making it impossible for me to follow the rules, he was trying to make us scared to teach us about God’s grace, you can imagine how well tiny Kira handled that
wow okay well I guess that’s a yes then
Stockholm: UNFORTUNATELY
In middle school everyone wrote stories about their thinly disguised classmates, and then in ninth grade creepy mcbadideas wrote stories about me saving him from his life basically and then him saving me from depression with a kiss, it was weird
and then Mom has used the whole family for story ideas
Tallinn: I can’t recall a rumour I’ve heard about myself, I’m very open. There were certainly rumors about me being ~*liberal*~ but that was actually true so idk.
I’d like to hear some though, I’m so out there already it’s gotta be entertaining
Tirana: no??? I’m honestly not sure what sexy is but everyone else seems to? Mom swears boys look at me–she’s usually telling me how not to die at a bus stop when this comes up– but I don’t notice anything
Valletta: thankfully no, at least not a big one. The worst I’ve injured myself was when I kinda timed a jump over a brick wall wrong and took out a chunk of my shin.
Vienna: I gave this one A LOT OF THOUGHT but I don’t think there’s like one song that totally captures my life, I definitely identify with songs but there’s not one single song in part because I’m still trying to process my life, you know? Fit things into the correct slots. Until I do that–if that’s even possible–i won’t have just one song. Sorry!!
Vilnius: yeah, why not? If it’s not like a permanent thing bc I have issues with permanency then it’d be cool, if only to get another point of reference for how things are done
Warsaw: i AM a depression lol. I thought two years was about as long as major depressive episodes lasted but I guess not, or maybe I was misdiagnosed idk
Zagreb: I’ve certainly given my TRUST to people I shouldn’t have, I’ve given my FRIENDSHIP to people I shouldn’t have, but I don’t think I’ve ever given someone my heart when I shouldn’t have.
Zurich: not at all. It’s a means to an end, you need it for college and food and stuff, but outside of that I really don’t care. I’ve been trying to figure out how we could restructure society without money and keep it fair and not suppress individuality and keep everyone taken care of it’s an interesting thought experimentTHERE I’M DONE I hope you appreciate that that took me a couple HOURS JOSIE I love you but WOW am I glad that’s over
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