#we have to eat it tomorrow!!! or else!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

this-doesnt-endd · 1 year

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Been seeing a lot of talk abt it chapter 1 for some reason maybe cause fall is soon but i have vivid memories of my mom taking a friday off and her letting me take a friday off and going to see it at the fancy movie theatre cause i was in such a bad mental state in highschool that she on her own decided i needed a movie on a school day like only a few weeks after school started which if you knew my mother back then was a very drastic choice

#we even got starbucks without a giftcard at the fancy grocery store #and we bought wonder bread and jiffy pop popcorn which yes seems so fucking dumb #but those were still and kinda still are rich people things to me in my head and it was a very special gesture to me #and then when we passe by my school on the way home and i saw everyone getting ready for the football game she let us make a frozen pizza #instead of making the chicken we took out #which imo is like a big deal to moms #cause even if the chicken is good and u dont make it that day and make something else its always like !!! we have to eat the chicken!#we have to eat it tomorrow!!! or else!!!#i will say tho we had a giftcard to the grocery store cause she got back to school gifts from the kids and pta

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skeletoninthemelonland · 4 months

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never lay down in bed right after eating. don't think about staying on your phone for nearly two hours in that position. don't sleep either. acid reflux is real and i hate that guy

#uhhhh eat healthy and drink water etc etc #yknow. the exhausting but healthy things we gotta do to keep our silly billy bodies workin #i hate how this adds up to anxious thoughts djsfjdsbhjqklfehpiJADAASFGHJIOPA #i tried drawing today but it felt so draining and pointless #the floods + university strike + the cold + lack of routine + overall anxious thoughts but ig everyone is going through it too #i'm just glad my house is not under water now. my pets and things are all here and i do have blankets to warm myself with #but damn.#when your mind is not occupied with the routine it starts bothering you with unwanted thoughts #and it's not good when everyone else at home is going through the same stress #it feels just as hopeless and stressful as it was during the covid pandemic #in a way we are 'under quarantine' and isolated. unsure if it's gonna directly affect our lives.#i heard the water levels are rising quickly and people are coming in seeking public shelters...#lol idk how this went from acid reflux back to the floods. see that it's def something we can't stop worrying about rn.#what if i wake up with water on my ankles tomorrow? the videos we saw showed the water coming in so fast it's fucking scary #there was no way to just pack everything and move before it got worse.#starbstalks

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b-blushes · 2 months

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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3

#its thursday quest #god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it #(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day #would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm #there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face #their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so #in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh #in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7 #My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes #and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental #illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this #social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that #impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine

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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 5 months

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So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

#like. i went out earlier to get bread #just bread bc we cant afford anything else #got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like #our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off #and it usually wont switch off over weekends #presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway #so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday.#but then itll be at least a tenner in debt #then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is #or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing #and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days #we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen #like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its.#its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in #and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel #and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me #but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change.#whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness #tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s #like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but #dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon

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shima-draws · 10 months

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Oh no I’m sorry you’re not feeling well!! Hoping you recover quickly ❤️

AAAAA TY 🥺

Doing a bit better today, I’m still super exhausted tho and I know I probably need to eat more but I have like. No appetite. But me not eating is probably the reason why I still feel like hot garbage lol

I’ve already taken two days off of work so I’ll have to go back tomorrow;; not sure if I will survive the whole day tbh. All I’ve done the past two days is scroll through social media and sleep. That’s literally it gjdnfn

#I actually really want a Subway sandwich rn but I definitely don’t feel well enough to leave the house and get one #Besides I’m p sure dairy is not good for me rn anyway;;#But I’m also soooo tired of just eating toast and applesauce #We don’t really have anything else that’s easy on the stomach here hfjdnjd #I do need to get up and look for something to eat tho. Sigh #Shima answers questions #Anyway ty 😭 These past two days have sucked ass I haven’t been this sick in a long time #Hopefully with more sleep I’ll feel like more of a human being tomorrow lmao

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 5 months

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guess who got a really bad stomach flu and spent all of last night throwing up

#I genuinely thought I was going to die #like I’m talking projectile vomiting bro #my best friend’s dad’s bday was Friday and we went over to their house to cut a cake and he’d been having some stomach problems #but we all thought it was bc he’d eaten some bad leftovers the night before #cut to my bestie texting me the next morning telling me both her and her sister got the same thing so that meant it was a virus 😭#and now I’ve spent all day sipping Gatorade and eating tiny portions of apple sauce bc I can’t keep anything else down #and then I have work tomorrow and I can’t call out bc my PTO hours aren’t available until June #luckily I don’t feel horrible anymore but today’s been hell just swimming in and out of consciousness and trying to stay hydrated #without hacking it all back up 😭

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twilightarcade · 4 months

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anyway I got curry yesterday and it fucked

#wordstag #and guess what. I got 2 eat curry for lunch today also. Because I had leftovers 😼#ummmmm I didn't really do much. Mmy friend came over & guess whatshe brought .#she got me. Some nice notebooks and also a bunch of colorful pens #which was absolutely crazy. You have no clue how bad I love pens of various quality.#I haven't actually used them yet 🐅🐅 she got me another set of pilot 02 G-7 pens though which was CRAZY !!!!#I couldn't justify spending that much on pens rhat I didn't rally need because I had other pens. Life finds a way thohgh #my green one ran out first (<had switched to largely writing in green) then my BLUE one ran out and it was like well fuck me .#Bur also like. I ddint NEED colorful pens. They were just really fucking nice ro have.#but dilemma over ! We have like a whole rainbow and some. Magic of friendship.#ummmmmm what else . Some volunteer stuff is starting soon and I'm kind of excited but #also what if they pelt rocks at me. That woild be quite disheartening.#I think I need 2.return a book to the library also. I wanna go 2 one of their book sales too #and comeplely irresponsibly buy a whole bag of books that I really don't Need but by god are books fun to have #I may also pick up a copy of house of leaves from my local Book Store because I have a gift card from. Literal years ago.#ummmm I really have Got to get a book shelf in here or something. Maybe I should get an ominous cardboard box.#ohman what else. I plan on writing my submission 4 neotwiny tonight then drawing the assets . Later.#complete jump in topic but I also wanna get a skirt I have like 0 Good skirts. Wanna get a patterned one maybe #I Could make a whole fit with my pink cardigan but also like . When else would I wear a pink heart themed skirt.#lacking in the generic shirts department.#anywya. Tomorrow we make cookies. This weekend we make a cake and also jam like our life depends on it. Don't think there's much wlse #have a good day and thanks for tuning into hit show watch twilightarcade abuse the tags feature like never before

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blitz0hno · 4 months

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I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to stay on my phone I don't want to pump gas I don't want to do deliveries I don't want to get ready for bed I don't want to write anything of substance I don't want to create I don't want to not create I don't want to be here I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to move I don't want to stay still my brain and body seem to simply want to sit here and Yearn

#is this like a shutdown i think we're having a shutdown #cuz like #we're not experiencing the pain of the overwhelm #but that's because we're dissociating really bad #like am i blitz are we blurry have we been in this parking lot for hours #why can't i just do anything but type #we're just sitting here numb and unmotivated #vent #i guess #tagging in case as always #idk man #“get a hobby” we have several #“get a life” we have. one but we have to share #“get a job” 2 jobs going on possibly 3 next month ok im starting to understand #we are indeed having to face a future and have no solid Plans yet #i thought getting our biggest worry out of the way now that my cat is w a trusted friend would help #but everything else is at the Forefront of our mind now whoops!!#ironically it would be better if we just. cane up w a plan #but noooo sensory overload from our own fucking chatter #allllll dayyyyyy #fuckkkkk #we're probably gonna go to bed lol i can try again tomorrow #we're ok just. we “shouldn't be” if that makes sense lol #if we're going to be a wreck i wish i could at least provess it #like it's worse than emotional denial i straight-up don't have access to said emotions rn #“don't underestimate my capacity to not wanna” type shit sjfhhshsh #oh also we need to eat dude come on #dont want to do that either but alas we need nutrients to live #at least we like living!#usually lmao also i did it (apparently) i reached 30 tags. thank u tumblr i love yapping

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there-will-be-a-way · 1 year

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My ergo therapist and a nurse drove me to my apartment today to be there for emotional support while I cleaned up the mess ex roommate left behind. The nurse said it was an act of aggression that ex roommate left his belongings at my place - same goes for pissing in my bed and all that.

Yesterday I received a text message from him, stating that the police is informed and that I should speak out. I ignored the message. Didn't do anything illegal meaning there's no reason to be afraid of the cops.

I feel battered nevertheless. Kind of defeated. Hopeless, sad, angery. Not just because of ex roommate but in general. Don't know how to climb out of this hole, this time. I always had a plan. Or an idea on what to do and where to go, but rn I just feel lost. Yeah, I'll go to the living group again but what then? My addiction will still be there. All the other stuff too. I'm putting my hopes in the rehab clinic I'll go to in a couple of weeks.

I just hope I won't be discharged tomorrow. Yesterday I got told they want to keep me here for a while longer so that I can learn to reach out for help and stand up for myself more. But part of me believes they'll just drop me tomorrow nevertheless. Kind of like it's often been.

Yeah, I might be triggered. Feeling raw, as if I have no skin. A nurse took my pocket ashtray because there's a weed leaf on it (yeah I'm cringe, I know) and it felt like the end of the world. These "everybody hates me, no one understands me, the whole world is against me" kinda feelings. Oh man.

#personal posts #I had to process the temporary loss of my ashtray by sitting on a bench smoking and eating cookies until the sun went down #psych ward blogging #me fearing I might be discharged tomorrow after all comes because we went to clean my apartment #because now that this obstacle is out of the way what else should keep me here?#I told them I would relapse because of the mess #but I think I'd relapse either way #because my place doesn't feel safe anymore and my mood's been pretty gloomy #I could go a couple of days sober #but I don't have the strength to keep on going for longer than this rn #oh man #yeah #literally all my life I've been fighting and struggling and I kept looking for ways out #but rn I just feel flat #so flat and tired #already told my regular therapist that this level of indifference is new to me #I just don't have the strength to care anymore #anything could happen and I'd just be like 'cool. okay. 😐'

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genekies · 9 months

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screaming in the club

time for another vent in tags

#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO #i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe #n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th #ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a #utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai #ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell #like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc #then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no #food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it #harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats #fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY #SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf #the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther #es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the #bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and #no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh #it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression #i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point #i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT #everything has gone to shit #vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.

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subdueddoll · 11 months

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🧸

#tomorrow's gonna be the worst birthday every fr #i was gonna bake a cake - which i havent had in 5 years.. but bc of gallstones i cant have cake #i cant really eat anything :(( so that's boring </3 #also since im poor i cant afford to go to the cinema or like literally anywhere else #i wanted to visit my grandma but she's sick so we cant. and i literally have no one else to visit or meet #my sisters arent talking to me so they wont.. talk to me tmrw either. wont congratulate me #i have no friends to hang out with or talk to.#no one will wish me a happy birthday except my mom #ijust feel so fkn lonely and insignificant #i try to pretend idb abt my birthdaybut the truth is i do. and i fantasize abt it being important to someone else as well #i just wanna be important and mean smth to someone :(((#it really doesnt help that i cant eat at all #last year was rough too but i had lots of coffee and chocolate treats during the day which helped my mood a lot #and now i dont have anyone at all to talk to so like.. yeah i feel so lonely #and someone i thought was my friend blocked me without explanation a few days ago #and i wanted to at least chat with her a bit #but she proved that i mean nothing to her. did she lie to me? was everything she said just lies....#idk

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pepprs · 2 years

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hi update still having an absolutely terrible time

#purrs #ive had a headache for 2 days and had an anxiety attack at 5am this morning ♥️ and also there is more drama. i feel so bad about it but i #literally wish i was home and this was over so bad. im not eating well im not sleeping well. and i haven’t had a moment in which i wasn’t #stressed or anxious about this program for literal weeks and i think after 4 long days of running around taking care of people and not #having a moment to take care of myself it just caught up with me this morning and it was so terrifying and i couldn’t reach out to anyone #becaus it was 5am but i needed a hug or to go home. and the anxiety attack passed i got through it alone but im still not okay and shaken up #i couldn’t catch my breath and my heart was pounding and my head was spinning and hurt so fucking bad and i just couldn’t exist #ive gotten sporadic sleep and markya got me vegetablrs (if you read this thank you markya) and im about to eat them now but im still so #n*useous and jittery and my heart hurts. idk how long it’s going to take me to heal from this and i don’t even have time and i don’t know #why everything feels like it’s crashing down on me this week but i feel so frightened and alone and inadequate and helpless #delete later #we go home tomorrow and i know it’s going to be chaotic then too and we have a lot more facilitation to do and a meeting with the leaders #tonight and after learning so much more about why they have hard feelings towards us i just want to run away. and last night we had a #community reflection and i had to give my part to someone else bc i just couldn’t do it. lol

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izzy-b-hands · 7 months

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Trying to make my brain do anything today has just been case after case of 'well, half-assed is better than nothing I guess.'

#text post #idk why i have such bad post-survey mental dips every time but I always do #literally last night before end of my shift was like okay brain. it's ok that we aren't working after this. this is fine.#there's another survey in two weeks (for ONCE they told us in advance) and in the in between other things I can do to keep making some mone #and I felt really confident abt that at that point! wish that confidence hadn't been so misplaced bc I did in fact spiral #was actually exhausted enough to just eat shower and sleep after work but the shower was just a big spiral w/crying and scrubbing lmao #whatever. did a mini vid in the new outfit i have for the side job and will do dishes tonight #plus I'll get my shot done bc that's a day late now too #prolific and cloud i got a bit done too and i'll keep checking those thru the night #i actually wanna play gta for a bit & try it with the controller but i feel guilty every time i so much as look at steam so. we'll see #i just need to do something else useful today bc tomorrow will be a full filming day most likely so. gotta make today useful too #I know it must sound like im not really trying to work with my brain on this but i shit u not #this is my brain when im actively employing coping skills and other things to try and counteract the 'work or die' mindset #i dont know how to make it any better and at this point I don't think I can #this was baked into me as a kid lmao bc even playing needed to have a point/story/some goal to achieve #or why the fuck was i playing with my barbies or metal toy cars or dinosaur and horse figurines to begin with #im rambling to put off doing the dishes ignore me lmao

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oodlenoodleroodle · 1 year

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Okay so pickled herring is a thing in Finland and I really like it. It comes in jars and in different sort of situations, like in seasoned plain brine, in mustard brine, etc.

Now obvs. I don't eat pickled herring anymore because vegan, and it's a bit of a bummer because like, this is part of my culture, food is a big part of culture and, by extension, identity.

Today I had vegan pickled herring-like stuff that is made out of eggplant. Like if you like mustard herring you would like this, it's just a super-good fishy and mustardy combination. And I was just so happy and will be buying this stuff in the future.

So if you ever see anyone asking "why do vegans have to make vegan versions of nonvegan things" this is the reason. Food is a crucial part of culture and everyone should have ways to connect with their food culture regardless of what sort of dietary restrictions they have, voluntary or involuntary.

Food innovations that enable people with food restrictions to take part are good and worthwhile.

And hey, if you are in Finland and you like sinappisilli, try the Kalavale eggplant product. It's good and adds some extra vegetable in your diet :)

#to me the suffering of fish is more important than my food culture identity bummers #but its nice that they dont have to be mutually exclusive.#and i will really happily support and promote people who work to make these kinds of products accessible.#also score! a new vegetable has entered the rotation! i dont eat eggplant in anything else as of yet.#i am just so excited about vegetables these days. like i get to try my pickled beets thing tomorrow and im so excited! :D #and they dont always work out - last weekend we had jerusalem artichoke for the first time and didnt really care for it.#which felt like a betrayal because so many people praise it to high heaven.

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thistlekiss · 8 months

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Me: starting to make lunch in the kitchen

Mother: comes in after me and makes it VERY clear that *i* am in the way

Also mother: gets pissed off when i say i'll make my food later

#I WAS THERE FIRST #cCLEARLY GATHERING INGREDIENTS #but no IM the one getting in HER way #for fucks sake its my birthday tomorrow she abandoned me during an asthma attack i had to get her to call me a fucking ambulance for #and today shes fucking aggro bc i was IN *HER* WAY????#and after i fixed her fucking tv EVEN AFTER SHE WOKE ME UP o fixed her fucking app she was having issues with she RUINED the chicken stock #i was trying to fucking make last week AND SHE INVADED THE FUCKING KITCHEN WHILE I WAS TRYING TO MAKE FOOD #but no obviously im the fucking problem #also bought her a fucking mini waggle maker bc she cant eat the big ones i found 4 more kdramas for her to watch AND shes put zero effort il #into my birthday #like i spend the entire year picking presents for her and my dad and my sister and ALL THREE OF THEM COME TO ME FOR THEIR PRESENTS TO EACH #OTHER and she fucking refuses to put any effort into gifts for me #just hands me cash #“its too hard i dont know what you like” even when i fucking made a list of gift cards she could get AT THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE #and we always fucking eat where anybody fucking else in the family wants to eat #nevermind its supposed to be my fucking birthday #anyway turns out im still bitter and angry that my birthday has never been about me #time for my annual Birthday Self Pity to start #at least i organised my own birthday cake this year #so im actually getting what i want #since last year the dessert she made i cant fucking eat #bc im fucking allergic to eggs #and the year before that she wasnt speaking to me so i bought my own present #jokes on her that was my best birthday in decades #bc i actually got to do what i wanted which was fucking nothing #she didnt force us to go out for lunch AND THOUGHT SHE WAS PUNISHING ME #and the year before that i put my fucking foot down and said i wanted fish and chips at home #but she had to choose the fucking fish and chip place and she chose the fucking chinese restaurant so it was shit #i have forced myself to stop caring about my birthday bc it's just retraumatising myself every time i care

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thatgirlonstage · 2 years

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If I wake up tomorrow morning and Twitter is gone and this hellsite is still here I’m gonna feel Complex Sad about it but I am, also, going to laugh

#it’s. twitter going down is not a GOOD thing on a broad scale #for two main reasons:#1) the present and current communities it supports #which include crucially minorities and actively oppressed populations globally #and 2) the sheer massive amount of INFORMATION we are going to lose #documentation of politicians. art. historical record. billions of broken links across the internet #it’s not good #but that is very very far out of my control #aside from ensuring I have a way to communicate with my personal friends #and archiving anything I care about from my own tweets #(I have not archived the live reacts and if the website still exists tomorrow I will do that but if it doesn’t I will accept their loss)#so I am left with being taken along for this hell ride with everyone else #and from a totally objective standpoint #the idea that TUMBLR is still fucking here #is. extremely funny #the broken ass money eating site that should’ve died in 2017 #WE’RE STILL HERE BABY #lol. lmao.

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