#we r not going to talk about my hiatus

[kijuuuse]

throws vash at u

[taylor-titmouse]

2023 Book Retrospective

it's pretty much the end of the year, and i've never done this before, but i wanted to take a look at what i managed to do in 2023 and share some of my thoughts on it! i published five novellas this year (though i didn't actually write one of them) plus the public release of the demo and first huge update to You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain. that's a lot!

so let's dig into all that. this will contain some spoilers for the books, because it's hard to talk about them without talking about what's in 'em, so maybe check out my itchio first and grab anything you missed! (but also.... perhaps wait until this weekend before you buy anything. shh.)

You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain, released in March

TECHNICALLY, the demo was finished and available on patreon around the end of last year, and didn't become public until I'd finished the garden update, which i did finish this year. and what a massive fuckin THING that was. 60k words! 50 illustrations!! the biggest thing i ever put out and technically finished, and the beginning of a move to being less afraid of writing "weird" sex. there was so much bee sex in it. arguably too much bee sex in it. which i'd left entirely til last to do which meant i was writing nothing but bee sex for weeks.

this was the first time i let myself really indulge in writing dubcon for the bad endings, and it was a lot of fun. very often it was more interesting than the deliberately horny routes, because it meant writing a way to be put in the situation, and also making it hot every time. i'm very much of the philosophy with dubcon that even if the situation wasn't Ideal for the character, they're still going to get good sex out of it. i believe i put it at another point as, i'm here to write the pleasure of helplessness, not suffering. to that point, the dubcon endings for the armor, the dryad, and the queen bee were my favorite bits from this.

the fact i never got a second update out this year is a big regret. i finished a bunch of the routes for it, but ultimately i wanted to have things i could release! shortly after publishing the demo and update, i officially put my webcomic on hiatus so i could focus more on my graphic novel, and also spend more time on my writing. having that extra time is probably the only reason i was able to write as much as i did this year, and i didn't want to spend it toiling away on a serial project i couldn't release for months at a time.

which leads us to the release of my first novella of the year...

House of the Risen King, released in April

now this is when i truly said "i'm just going to write what i think is hot and interesting and not worry about how it's perceived!!" and went whole hog on exhibitionism and monster dubcon cult horror. house was mostly inspired by the ending of Hereditary, and was originally going to be more poltergiesty and played more straight, with vee being harangued by a bunch of horny ghost-demons and nothing more sinister than that. but i've had cult shit percolating at the back of my brain forever, and i wanted to play with ideas i'd first developed in shadow in the shelves with rituals and shadows, so here we are! the scene of hettie fingering vee in the bathtub while vee's god-fucked out of her mind is my favorite.

fun fact, the original seed for this book was actually going to feature max and mortis, my photographer/model couple (that link goes to cohost because i wasn't posting here yet when i was drawing them the most). the idea was they'd go do an urban exploration shoot and mortis would start getting fucked by a ghost while max filmed it, but the more time i spent with those characters the less i wanted to involve the supernatural. which meant i never wrote their book, and had to make a new character to do the idea. and then it wasn't even that idea anymore.

that's writing, folks

Roger Crenshaw: The Dogs at Duskfall, released in June

... which makes it ironic that the next book is one i didn't even write! r/l monroe @mortalityplays has been my friend for years, and was my editor for a long time (until he got a REAL JOB and didn't have TIME to edit anymore. sobs, cries, kicks a stone and walks into the distance). he's also always been an incredible writer, and for my birthday this year i asked him to write me something. i asked with the expectation of a little short story about our old tabletop RP characters, or a fanfic scene for one of my books he'd edited.

and then he wrote me 20,000+ words digging into the character of roger crenshaw and who he is that perfectly summed him up and tied all his stories together, such that i don't think i ever need to write another one. he did it, he wrote the perfect ending to roger. AND he did it using my favorite of his ocs from our tabletop campaign, AND there's some really hot and sweet smut in it. AND HE DID IT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS.

i loved it so much that i asked if i could illustrate and publish it as an official novella, and to my delight he agreed, and it was so so nice to collaborate with him on it. even if it meant beating our heads against the wall for 30 minutes about the placement of certain images on the page.

this was a great tragedy. i'd drawn the vagina one first, but an image earlier in the book had to be moved, which affected the placement of everything else. the vagina image had been perfectly at the start of a new page, and then suddenly it wasn't. so i had to do the penis one instead for better placement. tragic!!!

it's hard to pick a favorite scene in something written entirely, lovingly for you. how can i choose between the characters' pitch perfect semantic arguments on the nature of folk lore, the millenium princess-ass memory hopping, or the really really hot smut? i can't. i love it all. thank you r/l for being so good at what you do and writing this for me, i'll treasure it always.

The Dragon Double Feature, released in May

apparently this came out in may, and not july. i don't know why i've been convinced this came out in july. oh well i can't be bothered to insert it on top of the roger one.

anyway. THIS book. this book exists because i believe at the time i was a bit blocked, and wanted to just write SOMETHING. for a long time i've had the idea of a dragon wrecking a princess' wedding and fucking her in front of the congregation just sitting in my back pocket. it was the 'i know i could just slam this out if i wanted. i don't have to care about it it's just sex and then it's done' fallback idea, and i finally did it!

and then it was too short. i don't like the idea of publishing anything less than 10k words for full price, so i was like. okay. alright. i've always thought fucking an eastern dragon would be hot and have this other idea i was going to use for roger (back when i had an idea for every monster possible for roger), let's just write that. kenta is only kenta because i took a poll for what body type i should pair with a dragon (he was 'big boy', i think the other options were twink, older woman, and average woman). and i was also Really into the movie inu-oh at the time, which is probably obvious with kenta being a blind musician, lol.

the musician and the waterfall was tougher to write because i didn't have a clear vision of how it should end or even how they should fuck (the mechanics of fucking long noodle dragon have challenged me for years) but i'm ultimately pleased with it. it would have been a long time since i wrote something sincerely romantic, and it was nice to go back to it. i'm a HUGE romantic at heart.

both stories are pretty much one extended scene so it's hard to pick a favorite moment from them, but i will say i'm very pleased with how i approached writing the musician and the waterfall, specifically in the challenge i set myself to never use visual description kenta couldn't reasonably guess. writing from the POV of a blind man made me focus in on different senses and ways to describe them.

this book is also, as of right now, my best seller. which is great! i love that for me.

The Dragon Double Feature 2, released in July

okay i guess THIS one released in july.

anyway i got stricken with the curse with this one. a lot of people wanted me to write a sequel, but i wasn't going to. and every time i say i'm not going to do something, i end up doing it. it's so annoying. this one only happened because i wanted to write a SHORT! a SHORT extra for patreon describing kenta and wakatake's first time having sex as humans.

and then i wrote too much preamble describing their time on the beach. and then i got emotionally invested in unpacking their actual relationship, and also added a third character with mrs arakawa, and had to bring it all together into a story that was coherent and had something to say about the way they loved and ALSO ended in a THREESOME because WHATS THE POINT OF INTRODUCING A THIRD CHARACTER if they aren't all going to FUCK TOGETHER!!

it was tough. but i'm really, really happy with it in the end, and think it's one of the best things i've ever written. my favorite scene is definitely them playing with the hermit crab on the beach. metaphors babie.

the gundrid/eveline story is fine too. lmao. i NEVER PLANNED TO WRITE ANOTHER WITH THEM!! i only did it because the idea of publishing a sequel to a story from a double feature without writing a sequel to the other half of the feature was insane. and now eveline and gundrid are some of my most beloved characters, to the point of writing another book featuring them...

The Tenebrous Tower, released November

yet another book i'm pretty sure i was like 'i don't need to write this. this character doesn't work for a story on his own, what am i ever gonna do with him' and then i dumped a bunch of fantasy characters into a jar with him and suddenly i had a story. I ONLY MADE ROMICK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DRAW FUCKED UP WIZARD PORN AND MY ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS A GRANDPA!!!

anyway i started writing it as something to do on vacation, and it was just gonna be a bunch of dungeon bdsm vignettes until i hit on a throughline and suddenly i had a story and an emotional arc and damn i did it again. i did it again. i have a book.

i was expecting this one not to do very well because it had multiple prerequisites, but because i am a master of my craft i made sure to write it so you didn't need to read those. and then people read it without reading those. so it worked out anyway and now it's done just about as well as dragons 2. the people love romick, but they especially love the idea of him being destroyed. maybe someday. maybe someday. (except on patreon, where it's already happened)

the final vignette with the doll is, of course my favorite. i think it was a lot of people's favorites.

............................................

and that's everything i published this year! honorable mention to my novel starbuster, which i'd written most of last year, then spent all of october this year revising with the intent of finishing it, only to run out of steam by the time i was done revising it. so it's exactly where i left it last year. just better written. god it would be nice to finish that fuckin thing next year.

my goals for 2024 are, of course: release more books!! i have a big project i've been working on illustrating for the past month that i'd like to release in january, and i've also been working on a spin-off one-shot with mrs arakawa and an oni. i think this coming year i want to Try to blast through some of the one-off ideas i developed this year so they'll quit banging cowbells in my brain. like the sleeping garden. it makes me insane i never actually wrote the sleeping garden.

anyway if you actually made it to the end of this, thank you!! if you've bought all of these books, double thank you!!! i've been able to pay my rent and expenses just with my adult work this year, and it's been amazing and fun and super fulfilling. thank you for supporting me in 2023, here's to a horny 2024!!

[matan4il]

Buddie 613 meta

We now know that the man who risked himself to get Buck out of the line of fire during the shooting arc is Jeshan, which means ‘clear’ (if you’re interested, you can find more name meanings for 911 characters here). So let me just giggle for a second about the fact that 911 had once again reunited Buddie with a character who can be referred to as Captain Clear Me(h)ta. Coincidence? IDK. But I have to admit, it kinda made me reflect back and feel nostalgic. When I first started watching the show, I had no intention of writing meta for 911, but after going ballistic when 309 aired, I knew I would HAVE to use the s3 hiatus to write down all my thoughts about everything Buddie related so far. That’s what I did, I wrote and shared my baby, my first round of Buddie meta. That’s where it was supposed to end, but then people asked and encouraged me to write meta for the eps in 3b as they would air, too. I figured I could try, and that’s how my Buddie weekly meta posts were born. At the time, there was no one else writing proper weekly meta (I don’t mean a summary/review of the ep, or meta posts that stand on their own, but proper analysis on Buck, Eddie and those who matter to them, organized and serialized for each ep as it aired). And now, I’ve been writing them for almost 3.5 seasons. And I feel like they’ve inspired others to do the same. TBH, I can’t actually remember seeing weekly meta posts in other fandoms (maybe they exist and I just haven’t come across them, IDK). So I got all emotional, thinking about how these posts may be love notes to Buddie and the show, but most of all they’re a love letter to the wonderful people who have been supportive and encouraging, who’ve been reblogging the posts, who’ve been commenting on them and telling me that what I do makes a difference for them. Thank you so much, these posts wouldn’t exist without you. You have a much bigger impact on the fandom than you might have realized! So if Captain Mehta is indeed a nod to the meta, it’s a loving, appreciative nod that belongs to all of you. ~~

When Chim shows up to escort Hen to work, he ends up sitting down for a talk with Denny instead, and I really enjoyed this scene, it was lovely, but it also once again emphasized the difference between the firefam kids’ relationship with their parents’ colleagues and the r/s Buck and Chris have. Chim talks to Hen’s son when he happens to come across the kid, but he only sits down for a proper conversation because Denny implies Hen and Karen are up to something intimate, and Chim shouldn’t interrupt them just yet. Consider how different that is to how Buck intentionally looks to spend time with and dedicated to Chris! And then Chim is impressed by how smart Denny is. It’s cute, but it also reveals just how little they interact that this comes as a surprise to Chim. It’s so different to the intimate familiarity of a parent, which is what we know Buck has with Chris (and that Chris has with Buck, which can even be seen in the kid’s teasing, for example regarding the snoring in 414). ~~

You might have seen that, when the promo came out, I momentarily lost my sanity and posted this. I just couldn’t get over the fact that they actually had Eddie correct the chief on the duration of Buck’s death. It was such a spouse thing to do. It was a declaration about the anguish that each single second represented, when Eddie couldn’t breathe because Buck wasn’t. It was a confession of sorts, on how Eddie felt as he desperately NEEDED his husband to live (I’m not even joking when I ascribe him this title, Eddie said with his whole chest, “THAT IS MY IDIOT HUSBAND THAT I HAD TO WATCH DIE FOR THREE MINUTES AND SEVENTEEN SECONDS AND I WILL NEVER FORGET ANY OF THOSE SECONDS, NOR LET ANYONE ELSE DO THAT”). It was a glimpse into how time must have moved differently for him as each second etched itself forever into Eddie’s mind. And yes, it’s a clear parallel to 413, when we witness time slowing down for Eddie. And I mentioned in my post that in both scenarios, Buck is just out of his reach, so close, but simply not close enough. In one case, this forced Eddie to believe he must now accept his own death. In the other, he couldn’t accept the possibility that Buck would die, so he just fought harder, and if he couldn’t save Buck with one course of action, he tried another, Eddie just had to keep going, 'coz the idea of those three minutes and seventeen seconds turning into an eternity? Unacceptable. ~~

But notice in my unhinged post from that day, I used the word ‘counting.’ Eddie counted the seconds, and this is revealed to us at a poker game where Buck is counting the cards. I already noticed that when we saw the promo, but this connection was reinforced in the ep itself when Chief Williams vocalized what Buck was doing. The thing about counting is that it’s reserved for what matters, what’s crucial. Buck is counting the cards in order to win, and he wants to win because it matters to Eddie. Buck wasn’t the one who initiated the search for a poker game where he could use his newfound skills, Eddie was the one to take that initiative. And he could bring Buck along without telling him where they’re going (I would normally scream for a whole separate paragraph just about Eddie telling Buck to dress nice and there being no need for any further explanation or prompting, but we were so well fed, I’ll have to scream about it into my fist for just one sentence) 'coz Eddie was so sure his husband would go along with whatever crazy scheme he’d come up with. And he was right, even though Buck didn’t think it would end well, he still went along with what his husband wanted. Please let me reiterate: Buck’s counting cards because Eddie is so important to him, and Eddie was counting the seconds because Buck’s his vital sign. ~~

Another thing to keep in mind about the poker game is that the only other time we’ve seen Buck playing poker was in 312. In that ep, Eddie was off to meet Christopher’s school teachers (leading to his eventual lackluster r/s with Ana), so having a free evening, Buck spends it with Maddie, Chim and Josh (and is told he unequivocally sucks at Poker). Jokes were made about setting Josh and Buck up, and it was implied whatever Buck’s sexuality was, that was not the reason why Maddie abstained from making the match. What I find interesting is seeing how far our boys have come! In that ep, they were operating separately, and it led them down the wrong paths.

In this ep, Buck and Eddie were inseparable both as a couple (even sharing the winnings from Buck’s new talent, because what don’t these two share? And I was particularly chewing glass when Chief Williams asks Buck how he wanted HIS winnings, but instead of answering her, he looks at his husband. THEY ARE SO FREAKING MARRIED), and as a family unit with Chris (which is maybe a good moment to point out that all of the romantic couples were paired off in 613, and so were Buddie! Now, one could argue that Buck and Eddie were paired off because, well... who else is left for them to hang out with? But 312 is a reminder that when the show wants to, it can push the main cast and minor characters into the same orbit, so it still didn’t HAVE to pair Buck and Eddie off here. It chose to. On top of that, by showing them with Chris as well, 911 reminded us they’re far more bonded than just two best bros hanging out together ‘coz none of their other friends are single). In short, during 312, Buck lost and Eddie was about to be lost on a detour in his romantic journey. In 613, they ARE a family, they work as one throughout the ep, not just in parts of it, and they’re both winning. ~~

Something that gets to me is that when I first shared the BTS pic of Buddie at the poker game, it was clear that Eddie was just bursting with self confidence. He looked like he would be the star of that game. But when we got the promo, we discovered that it was actually going to be Buck who would shine that night. So what makes me slightly froth at the mouth is that all of that sexy confidence we picked up on in the photo? It was real. We weren’t wrong. It just wasn’t confidence that Eddie had in himself, it’s confidence he has in Buck. All of his swagger? Is a reflection of how much he believes and enjoys seeing his husband be a star. I am gonna need 3-6 working weeks at least to recover from knowing this. ~~

Speaking of things that destroyed me forever, everything about the Buckley-Diaz family in this ep falls into that category. I mean, not only did we once again have incredibly domestic scenes, we had one that was very reminiscent of the lasagna one in 601 (Eddie with Chris at the table, Buck fussing around them only to join in once he brings along something to be consumed), reinforcing that this is THEIR NORM, we also had Eddie and Chris being so cute and supportive when it comes to Buck’s new ability (Chris calls him a superhero, Eddie goes along with it, and when Buck’s upset he didn’t get a better superpower, naming some he would have liked to have, Eddie comforts him by saying those other options sound horrible). 

And then to top it all off, we had Buck and Chris cooking together. Bobby’s been explicitly acknowledged as basically being Buck’s dad by both of them, and we know Bobby’s been teaching Buck how to cook. Now we get Buck doing the same with Chris, clearly marking them as father and son, especially since this is done with just the two of them, this special time that’s allocated just to their bond together. Eddie is not needed as a middleman. I know that this isn’t news, but every single time the show reinforces this truth, that Buck is Christopher’s other dad, that their bond is that deep, I gain 10 years, so I have to mention it. ~~

For 613, I made my weekly gifset about Buck and answers, but I’d actually like to elaborate on what you see there. In 602, at the happiness center call, we see Buck looking to Lev in search for his own answers on what his happiness looks like. When he still can’t find any, he turns to Hen, because she always has them. Along this season, that’s been his theme. He’s trying to figure out what he wants in order to be happy, which is connected to the couch theme we’ve all been screaming about since 601 (and especially after he fell asleep on Eddie’s in 612). In 613, Buck suddenly finds that he’s the guy with the answers and he likes it. But has he really got them? Buck says these words to Eddie and Chris, and in addition to that, while he utters them, he’s literally captured in the same frame together with Eddie. But it’s also essential that we heard why Chris can’t just be given the answers. It’s in order to learn, Eddie tells him. That’s exactly what Buck has to do, he has to find his answers in order to learn from the search process. He’s not just there yet, but the framing of the whole scene coupled with the ongoing couch theme is very loud. ~~

What gets me maybe most of all in a whole ep of REALLY GOOD BUDDIE CONTENT, is the way the whole thing wraps up. The storyline on Buck’s new abilities doesn’t end with any commentary on those or on his recovery process. His last scene in this ep is the one with Chris. It follows directly the one with Hen and Karen, a scene which reminds us that we’re never surprised at either woman spending solo time with and caring about Denny, even though neither is biologically related to him, because they ARE BOTH his parents. In the same way, it’s only natural that we see Buck spending alone time with Chris, without Eddie around. It is so meaningful that the last shot of Buck in this ep is not about his story line at all, and neither his abilities, nor having died for several minutes is the point. Instead, the last, and therefore most significant shot of Buck in this very Buddie domestic ep, is him smiling at their son. I feel like that says everything about his trajectory.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know  if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you so much for reading and for any reblog, like, comment or supportive tag! Also, HUGE thank you to @whosoldherout​. On top of real life stuff, she makes her own amazing gifs AND helps make these posts so much better. She’s the one with the real superpowers!

[barrenclan]

i can’t believe nightberry is now named cassandra!! congrats on her transition <3 (i know this issue is going to hit hard i need to be silly)

HE CAN’T GET THE TASTE OF BLOOD OUT OF HIS MOUTH OH MY GOOOD… NOO CORMORANTPINE SILLIES :(( THE SILLY BOYS R SO CUTE IM GOING TO SHATTER WHEN THE ANGST HITS

OH CORMORANT KNOWS HE KNOWS WHATS COMING OH MY GOD

save it for asphodelpaw DO U WANT ME TO EXPLODE

WHUH?? NIGHTBERRY??? WHAT ARE YOU DODING?!?!?!? HUH?? DOES SHE HAVE RABIES?!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT DOES SHE KNOW ASPHODEL IS DEAD??? wait oh my god she’s standing on antlers i am going to eat my own kidney

THE CANINE BEAST IS HOLDING ASPHODELS I WANT TO HEEKEBRTT

REDPELT OH MH GOD YOU GO!!! IM SO PROUD

there’s like.. a link between their eyes it looks like that’s so cool OH MY GOD.. how is everyone there at once? did nightbery tell them to travel im so CURIOUS

i am suing u for emotional damages!! ur welcome

We have exited the era of Pinecorm bliss, we are now in the era of Pinecorm angst.

Nightberry's just having the worst day of her entire life, it's no big deal!

I love Redpelt's background character arc personally. I'm so proud of her, taking charge! You go girl.

Pinepaw and Nightberry perhaps have some connections... some kind of secret... no I shan't say...........

Hope everyone has fun with this issue during the hiatus! <3

[melonnabar]

//JLI COLLEGE AU PT. 1

Here goes my first ramblings about the JLI.

They are all in college btw! Well, university technically, but uni and college are the same in the United States anyway. They go to Gotham State University btw!

Starting with good ol’ BOOSTER!!

His major is gonna be in Media Communications!! Mainly because in the comics he is such a big sucker for self advertising and literally anything to do with socializing and/or public relations!

He’s also the star quarterback for the university’s football team! Booster and Guy r frat boys together,,

Apparently GSU’s football team is called the FUCKIN Gotham Knights in canon??

Booster roomies with Ted too (haha “and they were roommates”)!! I’ll talk more about these two when I get to Ted’s part.

TED KORD

I feel like Teddy would major in MET (Mechanical Engineering Technology)!! It’s not hands on as regular mech engineering as it mainly focuses on development n testing w manufacturing support and it’s kinda right up Ted’s alley because of that

Back to Booster and Ted being roommates! They are both juniors in college with Ted being older as his birthday is May 10th while Booster’s is December 29th.

Booster bitching about Ted staying up all night during midterms and having his desktop brightness maxed out while he’s trying to sleep, or ranting to Guy whenever Ted forgets to take care of himself and makes an absolute mess in their dorm n leaving Booster to clean it up for him (he complains but he actually likes taking care of Ted lmao)

Or more domestic interactions,, like Booster and Ted binge watching shitty comedies (or those REAL garbage high school musical types) and getting drunk off their ass while munching on some leftover pizza n passing out all tangled up in the living room.

My friend and I were on discord call yesterday and we were discussing the JLI BOYBAND stuff. He said that Booster would constantly have to find a sub in for drums because Ted sometimes ends up getting swamped with work from his major but would end up placing the band on hiatus because he doesn’t wanna perform without Ted.

Whenever they have their petty arguments and ignore each other I’d like to think Booster crashes over at Scott’s place until Barda kicks him out for staying too long and forces him to make up w Ted,,

Tbh I can’t wait to draw more of this AU,,

Have some pics of casual boostle also!

[peachjagiya]

i’m so confused as to how everyone seemingly came to the collective consensus that the dream premiere was some huge pivotal moment/statement for taekook. i don’t rlly understand how them showing up to a movie premiere together is a huge deal? it’s not like they waltzed in holding hands or anything like that. it very well could have just been two close friends/bandmates going to a movie premiere together bc why not? if any two other members had gone to a movie premiere together it would be seen as completely platonic and normal so why is tkk going made out to be some crazy brave and “wow” moment for them? everyone knows they’re friends. is it just bc jk was shy? bc that’s pretty normal for him tbh especially given that it was his first public outing since being on hiatus for a long time and only doing weverse lives from his house/gym.

also everyone seems to have concluded that they were definitely intentionally wearing queer coded clothes when honestly their outfits were pretty normal. ppl just dug extensively into the background of every item they wore and found some far-off connection to queerness/tkk when rlly it’s so unlikely they planned each article of clothing out like that. bc for what? they’re not actually trying to come out so why would they plan queer coded outfits as some “secret sign” ? like ppl really think jungkook looked up the exact quotes of the print on his jacket and traced it back to being vaguely alluded to something queer? and then said to himself “yes this is what i’ll wear to show the world” ?? and ppl genuinely believe taehyung intentionally wore the brand juntae kim to symbolize the connection of their two names together…like rlly? it’s just a brand…we talk so much abt how shippers connecting clothes/accessories to prove a relationship is stupid yet we’re out here doing the same and making it one of our biggest moments?

don’t get me wrong i love the dream premiere, it was cute, but i rlly don’t get why it’s been made out to be THAT much of a big deal. like i get the kappa tshirts thing bc those r clearly the exact same shirt on the same day but in what way is going to a movie premiere together some “huge step” ?

Vibes, my friend. Vibes.

Let me start by saying I also don't put much into the clothing. They may have been styled for it, they may have chosen themselves. Who knows? But I also wouldn't be surprised to find out it was deliberate. Tae is knowledgeable about queer culture, British music and art, etc. I don't think it's a reach to assume he knows who Morrissey or Oscar Wilde are. But ultimately no, I'm not factoring it into my thinking.

I found videos of a couple of other times two members attended a thing together.

Joonie and Hobi at Love Your W 2022 photowall.

They do heart poses together but when you watch the video, they are both completely focused on posing for camera. I'm not implying they're not close but there's a business-like vibe to it. Joonie was there to perform, it's on schedule etc.

I also found Jimin and Hobi at Dior in Paris.

This video doesn't show it but they arrive seperately, do photowall seperately* then sit together at the runway. They're on schedule.

(* there are some pictures showing them together at photo wall but they're edited.)

These both feel a bit different to:

👉 An off schedule event to support Seojoon.

👉 Tae going to his best friends premiere and taking a plus one.

👉 Being together at all points of the event from arriving in same car to leaving together to then continue being together with Wooga after the event.

👉 Hyungsik and Wooshik posed alone and they're super close. This might be because Tae and JK are grouped as BTS though.

👉 The pair of them having a number of moments of eyes on each other rather than anywhere else.

👉 JKs extreme giggliness which, though I see your point about him being shy, seemed excessively nervous.

👉 The fancams of JK stopping and Tae encouraging him.

👉 JKs somewhat pensive live later.

👉 This picture:

(I know it's a still photograph of a millisecond in time. I'm just being a dork.)

Vibes.

Thanks anon. It's good to look at this stuff twice and compare. If you know any other times two of them attended something, let me know! 💜

[nerdzzone]

Worlds Apart

Chapter Eight

Summary: Single mom, Bridget Clark, thought that she was fine by herself. Moving her son to a new town and out of the hustle and bustle of Boston, she thought that life would be quieter and simpler, but a chance encounter with a certain Hollywood actor only a week after their big move had her questioning everything. Bridget was faced with the ultimate decision of head vs heart, but would letting her guard down prove to be worth the risk?

Note: Just a reminder that this will be the last chapter before this story goes on hiatus. I have so much planned so I'm hoping that just a short break will reignite my inspiration, but I need a bit of a break right now. I'm so grateful for all the support that this story has received - every single comment really means so much! - and I will still be around every now and then if anyone has any questions or wants to chat!

-----

“You know, I always thought that really big TVs were just unnecessarily extravagant, but looking at yours I can see the appeal.”

Bridget shared her observation as she sank into Chris’ couch, watching as he searched around the room for the remote and muttered to himself about how he could never find anything after his brother had stayed with him. Dinner had been delicious and expertly cooked by Chris himself - even though he did admit that his mother had talked him through it very thoroughly beforehand and provided him with a recipe that she was sure he couldn’t mess up - and after another discussion about whether or not Bridget was allowed to help tidy up after the meal, they were settling on the couch to watch a movie.

“It felt extravagant when I bought it,” Chris admitted with a smile before letting out a cheer of victory when he finally located the remote. “But then when it was here and up on the wall, it didn’t seem quite so big.”

“It works well in this space,” Bridget agreed as Chris flopped down onto the soft cushion beside her and flicked on the TV. “So, what are we going to watch?”

“I dunno,” Chris shrugged. “You’re the guest, you can pick.”

“Oh, really?” Bridget smirked. “What about Captain America then?”

“I mean, we could if you really want to…” From the tone of his voice and the cringe on his face it was clear that it wouldn’t be his first choice and he elaborated despite her teasing tone. “To be honest, I don’t really mind watching any of those Marvel movies, but it seems a little self-obsessed to showcase my own movies to a woman I’m trying to impress.”

“It would only be self-obsessed if you suggested it,” Bridget countered. “But don’t worry, I won’t make you watch them. I’m catching up in my own time.”

“Are you?”

The surprised raise of Chris’ eyebrow at that admission had a blush rising on Bridget’s cheeks as she nodded her head.

“Yeah, I only ever saw the first one so I thought it would be a good idea to catch up,” she admitted. “But they’re a little too old for Landon so it’s taking me a while to find the time.”

“Well, that’s cute,” Chris teased, smirking as she swatted at him. “What do you think?”

“They’re good movies,” she assured him. “But I do think your costume could be just a little bit tighter. It doesn’t really give you the opportunity to show off all your big muscles.”

Her sarcastic criticism had a laugh bursting from Chris’ chest as he playfully nodded in agreement.

“That’s what I keep saying! I don’t know why they even bother making me wear a costume at all.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Bridget giggled. “That would be a whole different kinda movie.”

“The Avengers: Rated R,” Chris joked. “It’s probably on the internet somewhere already.”

“Maybe we should watch that.”

The suggestion pulled another chuckled from Chris’ lips, but he quickly shot it down and scrolled through Netflix until they settled on Back to the Future - a movie they’d both seen several times, but one that could always capture their attention. However, despite the captivating movie on the screen, it took less than half an hour for Bridget to find herself getting distracted. As the movie started, they’d relaxed into the couch with Bridget ending up tucked into Chris’ side with his arm draped over her shoulder. The close proximity - and the way it allowed her to indulge in his scent and the feel of his hard, toned chest - was enough to have her thoughts drifting away from the screen, but the way he lazily traced his fingers over the skin of her shoulder had her mind truly struggling to focus on anything else.

Inspired by his touch, she let her own hand start to wander as it drifted over the soft material of his t-shirt and the muscles beneath it until it was draped over his waist. She felt him tense - almost as if he was flexing for her benefit - but he didn’t have much of a noticeable reaction to her trailing fingers until they reached his side where she discovered that the way they were lounging on the couch had caused his shirt to ride up. She was surprised at first to feel his skin, but the way his breath hitched as she brushed over it encouraged her to explore a little further.

By that point, the movie was entirely out of Bridget’s mind as she waited for him to stop her or protest the action of her hand sliding under his shirt, but when he offered no resistance she took advantage of the opportunity to continue her explorations. However, when her gentle touch moved higher up his waist and a slight shiver ran through his body at the sensation, his voice broke their silence and shattered the illusion that either of them were still paying attention to the TV.

“Bridget…”

His tone was low - her name falling from his lips as barely more than a murmur - but it was enough to have her eyes flicking up to meet his, glancing up at him from under her lashes as she bit her bottom lip. The tension between them was reaching an unignorable point, but Bridget paused any movement to make sure that he hadn’t stopped her because she’d overstepped and was relieved when Chris took advantage of the way her head had tilted up towards his to capture her lips.

There had been nerves bubbling under the surface earlier in the evening as their flirtatious and alluding conversation a few days earlier still played on Bridget’s mind, but the comfort she found in the increasing familiarity of his kiss and the air of growing desperation between them had those doubts quickly reduced to a fuzzy memory in the back of her mind. Her worry was replaced by a softly burning need inside her as her hand drifted up to cup the back of his neck. Her intention was to keep him close, but as he slid his own hand under her arm and used it to easily lift her until she was straddled across his lap, it was clear that he was feeling the same desire that she was.

She felt a flush of self-consciousness when she realized that their new position had the sundress she was wearing riding up on her thighs, but as Chris moved his hands down to stroke the newly exposed skin, he let out a groan that had a new feeling washing over her. She felt sexy. She felt desirable. And that made her feel confident enough to focus on her determination to make Chris feel the same way rather than any insecurities. She knew she was out of practice and terrified that it might show, but every time the little anxious voice in the back of her head raised its concerns, Chris would unknowingly pull her back into the moment.

The hitch of his breath as she let her lips trail down along his jaw, the way he swallowed hard as she dipped lower to trace her tongue over the beat of his pulse in his neck, the increase in the pressure of his fingertips against the top of her thighs when she gently rocked her hips against his. She was fixated on every subtle hint of approval of her actions and his clear enjoyment had her tension easing as she relaxed - especially when another roll of her hips made it clear just how much he was appreciating her actions. The feel of the sudden strain rising in the basketball shorts he was wearing was more than enough proof that she hadn’t lost her skills entirely and she broke the seal where her lips had locked onto his neck as she let out a hum of pleasure.

“That feels good,” she murmured before placing another soft kiss above the edge of the collar of his shirt as her hands slid up under the hem. “I wanna make you feel good too.”

“Yeah?”

Chris’ voice was low and husky and had Bridget leaning back to confirm with a nod of her head before she dipped back in for another kiss. 

She could feel her heart racing and hoped that its thudding wasn’t as obvious to Chris as she plucked up the courage to put her plan into action. Their tongues clashed as their hands wandered and groped at any exposed skin they could find, but the final necessary surge of inspiration she needed came as Chris slid his hands under her dress high enough to cup the cheeks of her ass to pull her hips tightly against his own. Their lips parted as Bridget gasped at the sensation, but when he slackened his grip and chased after her mouth, Bridget leaned back and flashed him a smirk before sliding off of his lap to kneel on the floor by his feet.

Chris let his knees fall apart to give her a little more room, but there was a curiosity burning in his gaze as she stroked the hair on his thigh, dipping her fingers under the hem of his shorts.

“Can I make you feel good?”

Bridget bit her lip as she glanced up at him, waiting for confirmation as she watched him tip his head back and gasp out a whispered ‘fuck’ before he let out a long breath and agreed.

“Yes,” he nodded, lifting his hips as her hands immediately moved to pull his shorts down his thighs, taking a moment to flick the TV off. “Please.”

She smiled at his politeness, but any teasing comments disappeared from her mind as soon as he was free of his pants and she was immediately distracted by the task at hand. Her lack of recent practice floated back into her mind as she took him in her hand, but she knew that enthusiasm could make up for a lot and tried to focus on the confidence that his eagerness had given her. The way he groaned as she gently stroked him was reassuring that she hadn’t entirely forgotten how the process worked and the way his hand shot down to grab the back of her head when she leaned forward to take his tip into her mouth reminded her just how enjoyable it could be to have so much power.

Sliding lower, she stayed focused on his reactions - his grip in her hair, the twitches of his hips, the soft groans and gasps falling from his lips - but it didn’t take her long to relax into it and get lost in the thrill of giving him pleasure. She took him deep, appreciating how he never used his hand to force her movements and allowed her to set the pace as she bobbed her head up and down. She noted how he swore every time her tongue traced its way along the thick vein on the bottom of his cock and the way he groaned every time he hit the back of her throat. She revelled in the chance to learn exactly what he liked and had to admit that his pleasure was adding to her own growing arousal, only motivating her further to help him chase his peak.

Her hand moved to slowly stroke at the base of his cock as she focused her attention at his sensitive tip and in another flush of confidence, she lifted her gaze up to look at him. The sight of him watching her with his jaw slack and cheeks flushed immediately pulled a hum of pleasure from her lips and the sensation that provided for Chris had his eyebrows creasing together as he panted out her name. She could tell he was getting close and kept her pace steady as she hollowed her cheeks until his body tensed up and he found his release. 

A flush of pride washed over her as she helped him through his high until she finally pulled away, swallowing before she crawled back up to curl up on the couch beside him. Her pride only grew as she took in the sight of Chris with his chest heaving as he fought to steady his breath and a blissed out look on his face, but when he recovered and cracked open an eye to glance at her with a smirk on his face, the words that came out of his mouth immediately put her on edge.

“That was great,” he commended her, letting his hand slide over his knee where it pressed against his thigh. “Now it’s my turn.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

Despite the way her smile faltered, her words had a chuckle falling from Chris’ lips as he slipped back into his shorts.

“I know I don’t have to,” he smiled. “But I want to.”

That claim had Bridget raising a skeptical eyebrow as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Seriously, Chris, you don’t have to.”

Her insistence had Chris pausing as he turned towards her and studied her face for a moment before he countered with a question.

“Do you not want me to?” He kept his gaze steady, but Bridget suddenly found it difficult to meet his eye and simply shrugged in response. “Can I ask why?”

Bridget took a moment to think of the best way to answer his question. She could feel the heat of her embarrassment taking over from the heat of the arousal she’d been feeling moments earlier as her cheeks flushed for a less enjoyable reason, but she forced herself to work through her rising anxiety to respond in a somewhat articulate way.

“From my experience,” she started, nervously chewing her bottom lip. “That’s not something that men actually like to do and I don’t mind so you don’t have to do it just to impress me.” 

She expected to see relief wash over Chris when she shared her sincere reassurance, but Bridget was surprised when her words had him chuckling.

“No offense, but I think there’s a pretty good reason why your ex maybe isn’t the best spokesperson for what most straight men enjoy in bed.”

“It’s not just him,” Bridget protested. “I met him when I was twenty-four, I did date other men before that.”

“And they all made you feel like it was a chore?”

The shock was clear in his voice and there was a look of something that seemed like disgust on his face that only deepened when Bridget clarified.

“They didn’t make it feel like a chore, they just made it clear that they weren’t interested in reciprocating.”

“So none of them ever did?” His tone was incredulous and he stared in disbelief as Bridget nodded in confirmation. “So no one has ever gone down on you?”

The blunt question had Bridget’s cheeks heating up even more as she fought the urge to run for the door and far away from the humiliating conversation as she felt the need to defend herself.

“It’s not a big deal,” she insisted. “I’m obviously not a virgin or Landon wouldn’t be here, but I will admit that my sexual repertoire is probably lacking compared to yours and I’m aware that might not be particularly appealing.”

Her tone was defensive, but as Chris recommenced stroking her thigh she knew that he really hadn’t meant any offense.

“It’s not unappealing at all, intriguing would be a better word,” he assured her. “And we don’t have to do anything that you’re not comfortable with, but the offer still stands if it’s something you’re interested in trying.”

He flicked his eyes back up to meet Bridget’s and this time she held his gaze as she took a moment to think about it.

“It really wouldn’t be a chore for you?” She asked, using his own word to describe it. “You don’t mind?”

“It would be a pleasure,” Chris insisted, a smirk drifting onto his face as his hand drifted between her knees and traced a little higher on the inside of her thigh when they naturally parted. “I’d love to make you feel good, watch you squirm, get you calling out my name.”

His words sent a shiver of anticipation through Bridget as she shifted a little bit closer, giving his hand more space to explore as she stretched to hover her lips above his.

“Then I think I would like to give it a try.”

“You think?”

Chris’ voice had dipped back to a lower octave as he prompted a more clear confirmation and Bridget swallowed hard, pushing her doubts from her mind as she gave it.

“I know,” she told him. “I know I would.”

That was all the reassurance that Chris needed to close the gap and capture her lips in another kiss. His hand reluctantly slipped from her legs to wrap around her waist and any lingering embarrassment quickly dissipated as Bridget melted into his embrace giving him the leverage he needed to easily lift her back onto his lap. The need she’d been feeling earlier returned just as quickly as it had faded as the excitement of what was to come had her imagination running wild. There was a flicker of anxiety - a worry about being as exposed as she knew she was about to be and the vulnerability that came with it - but she trusted Chris. He’d been so patient about taking things slow, he’d never pushed her or tried anything to hurry things along physically or emotionally, and if she was being honest, his genuine lack of judgement to her lack of varied sexual experience had only added to her arousal.

Their tongues clashed as Bridget tried to keep her mind in the moment, but as her hips pressed against Chris’ - growing desperate for some kind of friction - she pulled her lips away from his with a gasp as he rose from the couch with his hands gripping her thighs to keep her pressed against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and gripped his shoulders tightly to stop herself from slipping, but the feel of his biceps bulging as he easily carried her weight had her letting out a quiet whimper and dipping to press her lips against his neck in a effort to distract herself from the overwhelming tension building inside her. By the time he’d moved them to the bedroom and carefully placed her on his large and very plush bed, the anticipation had the fever burning between them turning into desperation as it seemed that they couldn’t get enough of each other.

However, once Chris’ shirt had been ripped over his head and Bridget’s dress had been tossed across the room and he’d settled with his hips between her thighs, Chris slowed down their frantic actions to regain control of the situation.

“We’ve got lots of time,” he murmured into her ear as his hand ran over the now exposed curve of her waist. “I want to enjoy this.”

Probably contrary to what he’d intended, his words had another flush of heat washing over Bridget that had her almost wishing he’d just tear her underwear off of her and get down to business as the thought of him wanting to savour the moment was almost too much for her to bear. They did have lots of time - they had all night - but Bridget was already feeling embarrassingly needy for some kind of release and if Chris was going to continue being so tender and gentle about it then she was worried that she would have to start begging.

He trailed his lips down her neck, taking the time to place kisses on every inch of skin that he passed until he slid his tongue along her collarbone. The sensation made her shiver, but as he reached the strap of her bra and moved down until his tongue could trace the cup of her bra, her breath caught in her throat. His hands moved to her sides, prompting her to arch her back enough for him to unhook her bra and slip it off her body and Bridget felt her nerves rising back to the surface. She had explanations ready - excuses for why her body probably wasn’t as perky and tight as the actresses and models that Chris was used to seeing naked - but when she saw the way he was looking at her newly exposed skin, her words seemed unnecessary.

He looked mesmerized. His pupils were dark and wide, his jaw hung open the way it had when she was stroking him earlier in the evening and as the word ‘gorgeous’ slipped from his lips, Bridget truly believed him. She felt desirable. She felt beautiful. She felt wanted. And the emotions those feelings had rising in her chest had her reaching out to Chris where he knelt, staring down at her and pulling him back in for another kiss. He indulged her for a moment before she felt him smile against her lips and pull away, moving back down her body to where his trail of kisses had previously led him.

Bridget watched him, holding her breath in anticipation until he captured one of her pebbled nipples in his mouth and she gasped at the sensation. Lifting his hand to tease and tweak the other, he expertly worked her until she was practically panting as she squirmed beneath him desperate for any kind of friction she could find. He switched his mouth to the other side, but it didn’t take long for Bridget to grow desperate for more and as his name slipped from her mouth like a whimpered plea, he smiled against her skin and continued moving lower as he explored her body.

He left barely an inch of her skin untouched as his hands and mouth roamed over her stomach, making her muscles quiver as goosebumps rose in their wake. By the time his lips met the edge of her underwear, Bridget felt more appreciated, cared for and admired than she had during any previous sexual encounter that she’d ever had. She felt worshipped in a way that had her almost dizzy with pleasure until Chris’ voice helped her refocus.

“You still want this?” He asked. “You still sure?”

His breath against her skin was enough to have her biting back a moan, but after she firmly and enthusiastically informed him that she was absolutely still sure and he gently pushed his hand between her thighs to trace her through her underwear, she couldn’t hold anything back. He wasn’t even touching her directly yet, but she was so worked up that she felt like it was almost enough to make her explode. She felt his breath hit her stomach again in short bursts as he chuckled at her response, but she was relieved that he took pity on her after barely more than a moment of teasing and helped her add her underwear to their growing pile of discarded clothes.

There was a moment when she was finally fully exposed to him that Bridget felt the vulnerability of the situation cutting through her desperation. If Chris hadn’t been settled between her legs, she probably would have snapped them shut, but as he soothed the inside of her thighs with kisses she once again found that the care Chris was taking made it easy to open herself up to him.

“You’re so wet for me,” he murmured, pressing his lips into the soft skin of the crease at the top of her thigh. Bridget felt a blush rising in her cheeks, but the awe in his voice only turned her on even more. “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

Bridget opened her mouth to agree, but Chris moved his lips and the feel of his tongue tracing along her wet folds left her unable to form any kind of response other than that a strangled gasp of pleasure. Much like he’d done to her earlier that day, Bridget found her fingers drawn to his hair and almost involuntarily gave him direction as her tightening grip told him every time he found a spot or movement that she particularly enjoyed as he explored with expert precision, lapping and sucking over every inch of her until she was writhing beneath him. His tongue dipped low - flexing with enough pressure to just barely dart inside her - and the raw moan that he let out as he savoured her taste had Bridget’s head falling back against the pillow as she wondered how she’d ever survived without such an experience.

She could feel herself racing towards her peak and the feeling only intensified when Chris focused his attention on the little bundle of nerves that he’d previously just been teasing. At first such direct efforts were too much, but when he noticed her hips suddenly shifting away and the sounds falling from her lips becoming a little more strained, he quickly eased the intensity of his licking and sucking until he had her back at a place where she was urging him closer again. After the long build up of her earlier enjoyment of giving Chris pleasure and his intoxicating exploration of her body, it didn’t take long for the heat to reach a boiling point and as Chris kept himself locked in position, Bridget fell apart beneath him. She cried out his name as her body tensed and her muscles shook, but Chris stayed locked in place and guided her through it. As her chest heaved, her heart raced and the last quivers of pleasure ran through her, she watched Chris reluctantly peel himself away and drift his kisses up over her hip before back up her body, bracing himself so his chest hovered over hers.

“Wow,” she smiled, letting her hands slide up to stroke the back of Chris’ neck as he watched her with a smug smirk on his face. “I think I liked that.”

“You think?”

Disbelief was dripping from the words and Bridget bit back a smirk of her own as she nodded her head.

“I think so, but I might have to try it a few more times just to be sure.”

Chris’ shoulders shook as he chuckled at her claim, but he was quick to offer some assurance.

“I could do that for hours,” he informed her, the sincerity in his voice making it sound almost like a threat and sending a shiver down Bridget’s spine. “We can try it as often as you let me.”

“That’s a very appealing offer,” she informed him. “But I think right now I just really want you inside me.”

She saw his eyes widen in surprise at her blunt request, but as the words sunk in he let out a growl and pressed his lips back against hers. She could feel him pressing against her now dripping center despite the layer of his shorts still separating them and the knowledge that he’d taken so much pleasure from what he’d just done for her was enough to light another fire in her already. The desperate, frantic way he was attacking her mouth only made her more eager as well as their tongues clashed and noses bumped and Bridget hooked her leg over Chris’ hip, trying to use the heel of her foot to push down his shorts and get them out of the way. After a moment of struggling she managed to get them to the top of his thighs, but Chris took pity on her and reluctantly pulled away from her mouth to rid himself of them completely, quickly taking a moment to grab a condom from the nightstand as well before he returned the warmth of his body to Bridget’s and settled back between her legs.

A flicker of her earlier nerves resurfaced as her recent years of celibacy made Chris’ size a little extra intimidating, but his patience shined through as it had all evening as he slowly pressed his hips forward and slid inside her inch by inch. The burning of the initial stretch had her sucking in a sharp breath that had Chris pausing, but her previous release had her more than ready and it took barely a minute for the sting to subside and for her to press herself up towards him, urging him deeper. He paused again once he was fully seated inside her and the shaky breath that Bridget let out had shifted from discomfort to one of anticipation. 

“You good?”

The strain of restraint was obvious in Chris’ voice, but the soft murmur of concern had Bridget’s heart fluttering in her chest. She wiggled her hips experimentally, letting out a soft moan from how fully he had filled her as Chris groaned at the friction.

“I’m great,” she assured him, letting her hand slide up into his hair as he dipped his head down to nip at her neck. “Feels so good.”

He started off cautiously, but that was all the confirmation Chris needed to start moving his hips. Giving her time to get used to the feeling, his movements were slow and let Bridget feel every inch of him as he pulled out and pressed back, creating a steady rhythm. The measured actions had every nerve he touched lighting up with pleasure as she clung to him, rocking her hips to meet every thrust.

He stretched her out so perfectly, it seemed almost like his body was made for hers, but while it was a sensation she’d missed, the intimacy - the care he was taking with her, the concern for her comfort and pleasure, the deep connection as they shared something that left them both so exposed to each other - had been what she’d really craved and it only heightened her pleasure. He was overwhelming all her senses as he touched every part of her so deeply, but she was somehow still desperate for more as she pulled him down tightly against her chest.

She could feel his breath washing over her skin from his pants and groans as the pace of his thrusts picked up speed. Again, her previous experience had set her expectations low and as much as she’d ached to feel him inside her, she hadn’t expected to find another release and she was surprised to feel how quickly the tension was coiling in her stomach. The angle of his movements, the friction hitting nerves that she barely knew existed, the steadiness of his thrusts that allowed her peak to build, and the sounds of his own pleasure echoing around the room - it soon became too much for her to handle and her nails sunk into the skin of his back as her body tensed and his name fell from her lips with a cry of pleasure. Chris continued his careful movements as she clenched around him, but as she came down from her high, she felt his restraint weaken as his thrusts grew fiercer and more sloppy while he chased his own release. It took barely more than a few extra thrusts for Chris to cry out against her neck as his hips stilled and he fell over the edge.

They stayed connected with only the sounds of their breathing filling the room until their euphoria settled and Chris pulled out, taking a moment to discard the condom in the garbage can under his nightstand before he rolled back to pull Bridget into his arms. They stayed quiet for a few minutes - simply enjoying each other’s embrace as they relished the blissful feeling of a good release - but as Bridget gently ran her fingers over the toned muscles of Chris’ chest as she curled into his side, she broke the silence with a tentative question.

“Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”

He’d offered the other night so she was fairly certain that it wouldn’t be too much to ask, but there was a brief moment after the words left her mouth where her fear of rejection crept up again until she felt him squeezing her even tighter against his side as he quickly reassured her.

“Of course I don’t mind,” he insisted, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

Bridget smiled, placing a kiss of her own against his chest as she could hardly believe that she’d been lucky enough to find a man like Chris. Six months earlier the thought of dating hadn’t even crossed her mind. She’d firmly believed that she was happy on her own and that as long as Landon was happy and fulfilled then her life was as full as she needed it to be. But Chris had smashed through a wall that she hadn’t even realized she’d built around her life and with every moment they shared and milestone they passed, it was harder and harder for Bridget to imagine her life without him in it.

[pepperonijem]

vii. a dream within a dream || all my love

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream ." - A Dream Within a Dream; Edgar Allan Poe

Summary:  bucky barnes ocassionally lives out his dream of being a hallmark holiday movie protagonist. only on weekends. Pairing: Bucky Barnesx f!Reader Warnings: food mentions Word Count: 2.8k A/N: sorry for the random hiatus. it has been a very difficult last two weeks, with school, the passing of one of my favorite artists, and just general business of life... but here y'all goooo

previous chapter || back to library || next chapter

“Bucky,” Steve sighed in frustration. “You’ve missed the turn three times already. We’ve been circling this block for twenty minutes.”

“Steven, with all due respect, please shut up so I can see better.”

“I’ll shut up when you finally make the –” Steve was cut off by Bucky making a sharp left turn and he grabbed the handle above his window. “Oh my god, this isn’t Mario Kart, use your brakes.” 

“Well I made the turn didn’t I?” Bucky huffed at Steve as he readjusted his wheel. Thankfully, the streets weren’t too busy at this time of night. Bucky glanced over at Steve who let out a chortle of disbelief.

“I guess that’s true,” he admitted.

“So why was everyone being so weird earlier?” Bucky asked, referring to the weird shift in events that occurred when he stopped at Scott’s house.

The question seemed to catch Steve off guard as he let out a surprised cough. “Weird? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about why Natasha seemed to be hauling your ass to the front door, and how Wanda suddenly got food poisoning less than half an hour after I called her,” Bucky said flatly, glancing over at Steve, who was staring outside of the window, pretending to be interested in the empty and clear night sky.

“Oh that? You know Wanda has IBS, she’s really sensitive about it,” Steve replied a little too quickly.

“Okay…” Bucky dragged out. He very well knew that Wanda did not have irritable bowel syndrome, having eaten many meals with her. 

Steve turned back around to face him. “Why did you only ask Natasha and Wanda to go with you?” he asked in return.

Now it was Bucky who was caught off guard. “Well, they’re uh… they’re the most entertaining people to roadtrip with.” The words left his mouth a little too quickly and Steve responded with an unconvinced nod.

“Oh, I’m sure Sam would be happy to hear that,” Steve teased. Bucky rolled his eyes with a huff. 

“What are you doing right now?” Bucky asked as he noticed Steve rummaging through the glove compartment of his car.

“Looking for snacks,” Steve replied, as if it was obvious. “I didn’t get a chance to eat dinner.” As if on cue, Bucky’s own stomach began to rumble. He hadn’t really had the chance to eat all day, choosing to spend all of his time planning this surprise rather than making meals. He was slightly annoyed, but saw that they managed to make up for some time and had a bit of lee-way before they needed to be at the airport.

Without looking down, he reached down and handed his phone to Steve. “Look for a fast-food place and we can grab something to eat.” Steve hummed in response, unlocking Bucky’s phone.

“Uh, Bucky,” Steve announced, looking up from the phone with a hint of panic. “You have a lot of missed messages and calls from your roomie.”

“Shit,” Bucky cursed under his breath. At the next stoplight, he grabbed his phone back to check the messages, and sure enough, there was a slew of notifications all from you. 

neighbor 💩 (8:10 p.m.): jimothy where r u rn

neighbor💩  (8:10 p.m.): if you’re out can u pick up mcdonald’s pls, i’m craving chicken nuggets

neighbor💩  (8:13 p.m.): nvm, i think i actually want taco bell

neighbor💩  (8:15 p.m.): OR ACTUALLY, aren’t u hanging out with everyone tonight? Can u bring home some of the soup wanda makes? it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn

neighbor💩  (8:35 p.m.): Why is my dad calling and asking me where you are

neighbor💩  (8:37 p.m.): Why is Wanda saying you’re not at Scott’s house and that you and Steve are taking a roadtrip together

neighbor💩  (8:39 p.m.): if you are with Steve tell him to answer his phone before I find him and leave him stranded in the woods myself

(3) Missed calls from neighbor💩 8:40 p.m.

Neighbor 💩  (8:50 p.m.): James Barnes i swear to god… i can’t believe you didn’t tell me my dad’s coming in!!

Neighbor 💩  (8:51 p.m.): u better be driving safe… that’s precious cargo

Neighbor 💩  (8:52 p.m.): anyway i haven’t decided if i’m mad or happy that you planned this whole thing without telling me… find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z

“By any chance,” Steve started sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at his own phone. “Is this supposed to be a surprise?”

“That’s correct,” Bucky confessed, setting his phone down as the light turned green once again. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“Well, not anymore,” Steve said sheepishly. 

Bucky looked at him, eyes wide with panic. “You told her?” He asked loudly.

Steve raised his hands in defense. “I didn’t know! You know I’m terrible with secrets,” he pouted. 

Bucky took a deep breath, calming himself down. “It’s fine,” he said. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s fine. It’s fine right?” 

Steve nodded back. “It’ll be fine,” he echoed. “At least we’re almost there.”

After a half an hour, the boys finally arrived at the airport.

They were greeted by the familiar figure waiting at the curb with an excited smile and a friendly wave. As Bucky pulled the car into a stop, he took a deep breath before getting out of the car to help his guest load into the car.

“Bucky!” your dad exclaimed as he pulled him into a warm hug that Bucky wasn’t really expecting. “Nice to see you.” He peeked over Bucky’s shoulder to see Steve waving to him from the passenger’s seat.

“Steve, is that you?” He asked with a cheerful smile as Steve nodded sheepishly. He too received a hug through the window, before entering the car himself.

As they headed home, the three boys in the car found themselves in pleasant conversation as they caught up on life.

“How’s your application going, Steve?” Your father asked from the back seat.

Steve hesitated, looking out the window as he finally answered. “I uh, I sent it in last month. Just waiting to hear back from them.”

As if noticing a shift in Steve’s demeanor, he switched his focus to the boy in the driver’s seat. “What about you, Bucky? What are your plans for next year?”

Just like Steve, Bucky hesitated before answering. “I think I’m going into education,” he exclaimed, as if the words surprised him as well.

“Oh education?” Your dad hummed thoughtfully. “Your dad always thought you would go into engineering or something science-y. What made you decide on education?” 

Bucky smiled as he replied. “A good talk with a good friend.” He didn’t miss the way Steve looked at him with an eyebrow raised, but decided not to mention it.

An hour later, Bucky pulled into the driveway and put his car in park. He hadn’t even opened his door before the back seat passenger door was being swung open and he heard your voice ring in his ear.

“Dad!” you called, pulling him out of the car and into a warm embrace. As Steve and Bucky got out of the car you immediately latched on to both of them as well, surprising Bucky. Maybe hugging runs in the family? He thought.

“Bucky,” you said firmly, now pulling away from him. Your eyebrows were furrowed together and your eyes looked glassy and— were you mad?

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m— I thought it would be a cool surprise and I—” 

“Why are you apologizing?” You asked incredulously. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Now you had wrapped him into another hug, but Bucky let himself relax, relieved that you weren’t pissed off at him.

Before he could say anything else, you had already moved on to Steve, joking with him about how he sucks at keeping a secret, and inviting him to stay just a little bit longer before heading home. Steve nodded sheepishly, even after seeing the 11:57 p.m. blare at him from his phone screen as he checked the time. 

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, thinking to himself that it was weird for him to find your mix of emotions and giddy excitement so endearing. However, he found himself still leaning against the car, in awe that he managed to pull this surprise off. Part of him felt like the protagonist of a Hallmark Christmas movie, moving heaven and earth for the girl he lo– 

Bucky let out a cough, not letting himself finish the thought.

As he watched you drag Steve into the house, Bucky found himself alone with your dad who was still gathering the last of his things from the trunk.

“Oh, let me get that for you,” Bucky insisted as he grabbed one of the bags. 

Your dad thanked him as he shut the trunk, turning to face Bucky but making no effort to move toward the door of the house.

“Bucky,” he called, his voice much softer than it was at the airport. “I’m guessing she’s the ‘good friend?’” he pat Bucky on the shoulder as he nodded sheepishly, looking down at the ground.

“Let me give you some advice, kiddo. Don’t think too much, life is so much better when you don’t.” With that, he also made his way inside, leaving Bucky alone in the icy chill of the night. 

What did he mean by that? Bucky thought. I think a healthy amount, no more and no less, in fact, if I wanted to stop thinking right now I could. See? I did it. For a whole 5 seconds I stopped thinking. Or maybe he—

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bucky’s ears perked up at the sound of your voice. You walked over to where he was leaning against the hood of the car, looking into the night sky. 

“I’m not really thinking about anything,” Bucky shook his head. “At least, nothing important.”

He looked down as you handed him a blanket. 

“Well if you’re gonna sit here and think about nothing important, you should at least stay warm,” He unraveled the blanket, placing one side around his shoulders and extending his arm as an invitation.

“Join me for a bit?” Bucky surprised himself as he asked the question, and had to resist the urge to tense up when you shifted closer and allowed him to wrap the other side of the blanket around your shoulder. 

Thankfully, the silence that followed was peaceful, and when you broke it with a quiet voice, he found himself leaning closer to hear you.

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

“For what?” He asked, giving you a gentle nudge, inviting you to speak up.

“For everything,” you answered. “For every late night study session, for bringing me back tea and croissants when you go to the cafe, for bringing my dad here. I feel like you’ve done so much for me, and I’ve just been kind of… a parasite since the beginning.”

Bucky felt his heart lurch at your words. A parasite? How could you think of yourself that way?

Your father’s words echoed in his head once again. Stop thinking so much, he told himself.

So he turned to you, and told you exactly how he felt. “You’re not a parasite, you’re a catalyst.”

You scoffed out a laugh, playfully punching him on the shoulder. “What does that mean?”

Bucky rubbed his arm, pretending to be in pain as you rolled your eyes at him. “It means,” he began. “That the moment you walked through that door, everything changed.”

“For the better, I hope,” you added.

“Well, for reference, I was finally invited to one of Tony’s exclusive karaoke parties. He said I’m a lot more fun these days. I even sang a song.”

You raised your eyebrow at him in curiosity. “Oh? What song?”

He shook his head, refusing to tell you, until you poked his side and he all but fell. “Dancing Queen by ABBA,” he admitted in embarrassment. “Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing, I didn’t laugh,” you said with your lips pursed tightly together, trying hard to fight a chuckle. “What did you score?”

“100.”

“No way.” 

Bucky nodded sheepishly as you finally let out your laughter.

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” you relented with a nod. “The Bucky I met in August would have vomited at the thought. I guess I may have rubbed off on you a little.”

“See? This is a symbiotic relationship.” Bucky chuckled, playfully punching your shoulder.

“Alright, alright,” you relented, pulling the blanket off yourself and turning to extend your hand to Bucky. “Now let’s head inside so we don’t freeze.”

A cozy meal and a few board games later, the clock read 4 a.m. and everyone was starting to lose it. Your dad had turned in two hours ago, after the first round of Monopoly ended with you claiming total domination and Steve and Bucky going bankrupt. After you begged your father to stay up, he promised he would only take a nap and that he’d be up by seven a.m. to get breakfast with you.

Still full of energy from the day’s excitement, you forced Steve and Bucky to stay up with you to play a round of Catan, only for you to be falling asleep halfway through it. 

“Steve,” Bucky groaned sleepily as he lazily dropped the dice out of his hands. “Make us more coffee–”

He was cut off by Steve slapping his hand over his mouth. “Shhh.” Bucky sat up and slapped his hand away. “She’s finally knocked out.”

Sure enough, your soft snores were coming from the couch as you lay there peacefully, giving Bucky and Steve time to finally escape. Steve got up first, trying his best to move silently.

“I’m gonna make a cup of coffee before I head out,” Steve whispered to Bucky who nodded.

As Steve headed to the kitchen, he tried to stand up carefully from his spot on the floor in front of the couch you were on. He didn’t make it very far before he heard you call out to Bucky.

“Stay?” your voice came out with the softest puff of air, and he wondered if he imagined it.

If Bucky had any more self control, he would have walked away.

But when you reached your hand out in search of his, how could he bring himself to leave?

So instead he knelt back down beside you and decided that once again, he would stop thinking and let himself be in the moment. And in that moment, he was well aware of how his heart hammered against his chest and how his lips were quirked into a smile. Have you always been cute, or was the lack of sleep finally getting to him? Chalking it up to his sleepy deliriousness, he allowed himself to be just a little reckless. 

He looked down at where your hand was still in his, and with his free hand reached up to brush a hair out of your face, his hand freezing when he felt your hand twitch in his. Your face grimaced just a little bit at the disturbance and he finally let out a breath when it settled back into a look of peace. 

“Sleep well,” he whispered out before giving your hand one final squeeze as he pulled away, taking note of how cold his hands suddenly felt. He balled his hand into a fist and quickly opened it again, aware of all the blood rushing back into his fingertips. 

As he stood to drape a blanket over your sleeping figure, he noticed Steve had returned from the kitchen.

“She’s out,” Bucky informed Steve who nodded back absent-mindedly, not quite looking at him. “Do you want a ride back to Scott’s?” 

“Hmm?” Steve hummed before finally turning to Bucky. “Oh, no it’s fine, it’s a short walk and the weather is nice tonight.”

“You sure?” Bucky asked with his hands in his pockets, stifling a yawn.

“Yeah,” Steve nodded back with a small smile. “The coffee woke me up.” 

Bucky relented and walked Steve to the door before finally making his way into his own bed. Against his better judgment, he found himself replaying the few minutes you sat outside with him, looking at the stars. 

He let out a sigh, reaching for the book that rested on his side table, Pride and Prejudice, untouched since the day he read it at the cafe. However, he did not grab the book itself, but rather the bookmark that kept his page – a pink envelope still sealed, addressed to him. 

Maybe one day I’ll open it, he thought to himself. But not today. 

And with that, Bucky slipped into a deep slumber. 

Maybe I’ll dream of you.

[allthenamesithinkofaretaken]

There Was an Attempt:

Looking For Answers Pt. 3

[I based the name of The Fates off by the Greek Mythology, but for their personalities and the way they act, I completely made it all up, so if you’re an expert on mythology please don’t come after me.]

Important!

I have good news and bad news—

Good news: I'm taking requests! So if you want to see Immortal! Reader and Muerte in some scenarios feel free to ask.

Bad News: I won't be posting anything after February 16, so that means after that, TWaA will be going on a hiatus because my second semester is starting then and college will be taking up most of my time, so request away! I'll try to be quick to write it all!

“So, uh, how do we do this? Do I have to perform some sort of ritual or…” She looked uneasily up at Muerte, who let out a sigh as he pushed himself off the tree. They were back in that clearing where she had first met Vida, away from the sights of the townsfolk and just a few steps into the woods. He had told her it would be best to do this in an empty space, and his wording alone left enough shivers down her spine to try and make her rethink her choices in life.

“I’ll be the one taking you there,” he replied, stopping in front of her and raising a finger up. “But first, there are rules.” she blinked owlishly up at him, brows raised in interest. “Don’t touch their web, all the threads there are actual fates of the people in this world and any sort of unwanted interruption would cause a chaos that none of us would be happy to clean up.” She flinched at that, already taking mental notes as he began to pace, she had to sit herself down for the next few ones, already keeping a close attention to everything he said.

“When they’re talking, you always reply to the last one to speak,” He kneels down in front of her, looking deep into her eyes so she knew just how serious this was. He didn’t want her hurt, she may be immortal, but the fates could bring misfortune to the both of them should they do something that would make them mad. “Since we’re going in unannounced, I want you to be more polite than you’ve ever been in your entire life, all right?” He raised his brows, and she found herself nodding along.

“I— wait, why didn’t you tell them? It’s been a week since I last told you, there was plenty of time!”

He visibly tensed at the thought of even going there once again. “The Fates usually don’t enjoy the idea of being disturbed, and even I don’t know what they’d do should something bad happen.”

She cringed, the thought of embarrassing herself in front of the sisters making her stomach churn. “Well it’s a good thing you’re coming with me, huh?”

“And I’m not leaving you alone,” Muerte takes her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re immortal, but The Fates have your thread in there somewhere, and I’m not sure if they have the power to cut your cord or not.”

“Right,” she gives a reassuring squeeze back. “So is that it? Be polite, answer to the sister that spoke last, and don’t touch the web?”

“Yes,” He spoke, his brows still furrowed with worry as he lifted her back up to her feet. “Now, stand a few feet away and I’ll get the circle ready.”

“Circle?” She asks, following his instructions anyway as he unsheathes one of his sickles.

“A mark,” He replies, dropping the edge of his sickle to the ground and beginning to draw a circle below. She was surprised at how perfect it almost looked, following every movement Muerte did as he continued to carve out strokes and arcs into the ground. “Each one of us has our own marks to get in each realm, these circles just make it easier for mortals to get there…” He shrugged as he finished, looking down at his work before turning to her. “If they know which one to use, of course.”

He holds out a hand, and she takes it into her own before carefully stepping into the circle, careful not to smudge the lines. She didn’t know much about magic, but she was sure that anything wrong that might happen in a certain ritual then she’d either turn out dead or severely damaged, and stars know that she didn’t want to feel any more pain from near death experiences.

“You said ‘mortals’, does that mean that you don’t have to do this all the time?” He nodded at her question. “So you’re only doing the circle now because I’m coming with you?”

“You catch on quick,” he grinned, and she gave a proud smile as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him in the middle of the mark he had made. “But yes, this is the safest route I can think of, especially since I don’t know what will happen to you if I teleport the both of us there.”

“Right,” she huffed, wrapping her arms around him. “Do we have to be this close or did you just want a hug?”

Muerte grinned, “It might be a part of the ritual, who knows?”

“Does the ritual require a kiss?” She grinned, and he leaned down to give her a peck on the lips, the embarrassment and surprise on her face causing Muerte to laugh.

“You asked for it,” he hummed, tucking a lone strand of hair behind her ear as she grumbled underneath her breath. “But we’re burning daylight,” he paused, looking up at the sky for a moment. “Should we?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, feeling the nervousness begin to form a pit in her stomach. She could feel Muerte squeezing her shoulder for reassurance, and there was a brief moment of silence before a blinding purple light turned her vision white, her hands clenching around Muerte’s sides as panic overtook her. She shuts her eyes tight, not daring to open them as she feels a surge of coldness blow through her, and then… silence.

She didn’t want to move a muscle.

Until she feels Muerte place a gentle kiss on her scalp, feeling his hand run down the top of her head to the back of her neck. “We’re here.”

Peeking through one eye, she saw nothing but darkness that began to stretch on and on from miles on miles as if wherever they were had no beginning, or an end. Her heart rate picked up as her grip on Muerte’s poncho tightened. She didn’t know if it was the void in front of her that made her shiver, or if it was just the nervousness in her that made her fingers cold against her palm.

“It’s okay,” he muttered, placing a hand on top of her own and easing her grip out of him. “I’m here.”

“But where are The Fates?” She takes a cautious step back, not wanting to smudge the mark underneath them, only to realize that the circle was gone. Muerte takes a hold of her hand.

“We’ll be seeing them soon enough.” He starts to stalk forward, and she follows him in his steps, never once letting her eyes stray from one part of the darkness too long. The place made her queasy, the more she lingered on one spot for too long, she felt as if she was falling in place with her eyes closed, Muerte’s grip on her hands being the only one keeping her in place and sane. She feels for the small dagger on her hip. Muerte had given her this a few days ago after one of their training sessions, despite her complaints and constant nagging at how she didn’t like the thought of killing people, he had still given her a short dagger anyway, saying that he’d feel more content with the thought of her with a blade than with none at all.

She never thought she’d ever try to use the blade, and yet she always brings it along with her anyway.

It wasn’t until she hears 3 voices echoing nearby did her heart feel as if it dropped to her stomach, the nervousness she felt before only doubled now, her eyes wide as she found herself tracing the patterns of the gigantic web in front of her that looked as if it stretched out for miles and miles above with longer threads on either side to keep it from falling apart. She wondered how long those threads were, and whose lives that would be, she wondered where hers was, and if the Fates knew that they had spun a thread that belonged to an immortal being.

She could feel Muerte’s grip on her hand loosen, and she looked up to him in a panic, her widened eyes looking up at his own as he seemed to stop in his tracks.

“What are you—”

“Are you sure about this?” He asks, and her lips pursed in a straight line. “There’s still time to go back.”

“I—” she paused, looking down the nonexistent ground before shutting her eyes with a sigh, replying with a determined nod of the head. “I want to hide whatever it is that can kill me. My secret won’t stay a secret forever, and I know when that happens, then something out there will be determined to do what they can to get what I have.”

He cups her cheek, eyes looking over her head to watch the spiders spin their threads before shifting his gaze back down at her. “It’s not like I’ll let them get anywhere near you.”

She places a hand atop his own, giving him a small smile as she places a quick kiss to the palm of his hand. “I know,” she sighed. “But you can’t protect me forever. I want to do this.”

Muerte blows out a breath, nodding his head and then lacing his hand back to her own, continuing their path towards the weaving spiders.

The closer they got, the closer she could hear the mutters and mumbles coming from the three, she could also see just how different their web was from normal spiders. It was shining as if they were made from crystals, and she swore if she could look at them close enough, there were images flashing across the thread as if it was a person’s entire life being displayed right in front of her eyes. She wanted to touch it, wanted to reach out her hands and wonder what it was like to hold it, but Muerte’s warnings echoed in her head, and she had to shut her hand in a tight fist, keeping herself behind the wolf and her gaze up at the mumbling spiders as they worked.

“Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos!” Muerte called out, his voice booming over the silence and even causing the web to vibrate just a bit, her breath hitching as she watched the vibrations travel upwards until it catches the attention of those at the top, moving so fast as they climbed down that she could feel the goosebumps running down her entire body. She never liked spiders, and now she had three giant ones looking down at her, their beady eyes scanning the both of them before a grin stretched out on their faces.

“My, my, my,” the largest one hummed, and she’s read about them quite enough for the past few days to know which was which. Most of their depictions were humans, however, but if she were to take a guess, the largest one would be the oldest, and the oldest one in the books was always Atropos, the one who decided how the mortals would die and when. “A familiar face, a familiar life—”

“—Unexpected as it may seem—” the middle one continued, and she guessed this one to be Lachesis, the one who measured how long a mortal’s life would be.

“—What brings you to our web again—?” She blinked owlishly at the last set of words that left Clotho, the youngest and the one that weave the threads as the mortal is in the womb.She couldn’t quite hear it or make out what language it was, but Muerte seemed to respond, and she wondered if that was his true name.

“The riddle,” he huffed, rolling his eyes, but before he could continue, she took a step forward, not wanting to have him do all the talking.

“It’s not specific enough,” her voice broke through the conversation like an uninvited knife through the air, their heads snapping in her direction and causing a hushed silence to fall as the sisters came stalking forward. She could feel Muerte’s grip on her growing tight, trying to get her to go back behind him but she wasn’t having it, letting go of his hand and looking up at the three in determination. “I’m the immortal that wants to get another riddle, something that would actually help, please.”

The oldest scoffed, stalking forward to the edge of the web where she was able to look at her eye to eye, her breathing coming to a full stop at the sight of the spider towering her very form.

“The one you seek is not one—”

“—nor two—” the middle interrupts the eldest, taking a thread into her own as the youngest begins to weave it.

“—nor three,” the youngest continues, the eldest going back to finally snip at the end of the thread that the two had measured and weaved before helping them attach it somewhere in the web, watching as it seamlessly attached to the others with ease. “It’s numbers differ, that we can guarantee—”

“—it can be a dagger, a sword, or a dish, or it could be the utterance of a true wish.” she looks to the eldest once again, watching as her legs tug on one of the webs before unlatching it, and the shine of the thread disappears, her head turning to Muerte with an almost wicked smile. (Y/n) didn’t need to look at Muerte to feel him tensing up from behind. “Duty calls,—” Atropos calls him by that name she can’t make out yet again.

“I’m not leaving (Y/n) behind,” Muerte’s words rumbled from within his chest, and when she lifted her head to look up at him, he had his glare set on the eldest of the three, whilst the other two continued to work on their threads. She didn’t even hear him unsheathe his sickles, and yet there they were in the palm of his hands, his grip tight against the hilt.

“It’s not like we’re going to hurt her,” The largest spider stalked forward, and she found herself taking a few steps back until her back hit Muerte’s chest. “If she is as indestructible as you say she is, then she’ll still be breathing by the time you come back.”

“Unless you���re afraid we’ll cut her cord,” The eldest’s grin grew wider at the sudden tenseness that seemed to radiate the wolf. “Now wouldn’t that be an idea.”

“And you wonder why I don’t want to leave her here with you?” Muerte scoffs, watching as the eldest turned away to cut the recent thread the other two had weaved together. “This’ll be quick anyway, so continue your riddle and we can be on our merry way.”

“Ah, ah—” The eldest waved a leg at him, all of her eyes squinting with amusement. “She stays here with us and you go do your job unless you want us to snitch on Father Time that you’d once again let your emotions get in the way of your purpose.”

Muerte tensed, and she could hear the angered breaths coming from him the more his patience grew thin. It wasn’t long before he began to mutter out strings of curses in Spanish, pacing as he ran his hand down his face, glaring holes into the eldest as if he wanted her to explode.

He turned his gaze to her, and she could only give him a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine… I promise.”

He knew that she didn’t know that, and she could tell with the way he never let up his stubborn gaze on her that he didn’t believe any of the words that she had said, so with a sigh, she takes one step closer towards him, fully turning her back to the three to reach her hand out to his arm, giving it a squeeze.

“You can do it quickly if you want, but I promise I’ll follow the rules and I’ll keep a safe distance away from them,” she whispers to him, biting down on her bottom lip for a second. “Besides, I’ll only ask them more about the riddle anyway, it’s not like they could find a reason to hurt me because of that.”

Muerte sighed, ducking down to her level and replying in the same hushed tone that she was, “Only ask the important questions, they don’t like to be tested.” His gaze softened, “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“I know,” she gave a smile, “Now go, I won’t break any more rules than I already have by butting in earlier.”

Muerte cringed at that, “Don’t do that again.”

“Who says we’ll be visiting here again?” She grinned, and he actually found himself chuckling at that, going back to his full height before turning around with one final glare to the sisters. He looks at her goodbye, and before she knew it, the darkness in front of her seemed to swallow him whole, leaving her with the three.

Turning around, she looked up at the web, freezing in shock at the sight that the spiders had stopped with their weaving to size her up.

“Uh… hi?” She gives an awkward wave of a hand, and before she knew it, her body was wrapped in the spider’s silk, a cry pushing past her lips as a cold breeze blew past her, one of the sister’s hauling her up and hanging her cocooned body up by her legs so that she faced them upside down, her blood running cold at the three that surrounded her.

“W-Wait! What are you doing?!” She panics, trying to break free from the silk that wrapped tightly around her body, but she couldn’t break her arms free, widened eyes looking up from where she was dangling to see a singular thread of silk at her feet and stretching up far above the darkness. She didn’t think it was possible to stick a web to nothing, or if there was a wall there somewhere and it was just too far away to see.

One of the sisters pushed her slightly back, her attention going back to the three. She was immediately face to face with Clotho.

“So you’re the immortal that Muerte has been asking about,” Atropos hummed, leaning closer to examine her. With her heart pounding heavily against her chest and the blood flowing down to her head, she hoped she wouldn’t end up throwing up. “I must say… we're glad to finally meet you, I never thought I'd ever see the day, but here we are."

“What?” She looked in shock at the eldest. “What do you mean?”

“Usually when there’s an immortal, they don’t come with invincibility like Muerte had described you to have.”

“Is.. that bad?” She was almost afraid to ask, but she couldn’t pry her eyes away from the three as they circled her.

“No,” Clotho hummed. “But if you think about it, really, no one makes an immortal also indestructible, now do they?”

Lachesis chuckled. “Unless, of course, there’s something important inside of them that needs to be protected.”

She froze, her eyes growing wide as she processed that information. “Wait— what?”

“Isn’t that what you’re here for? Answers?” Atropos grinned, holding a thread up and tugging on it. She let out a gasp, a surge of pain exploding through her chest as she watched the thread turn gold, following the yellow light until she had realized that the thread looped around the entirety of the web. An endless cycle with no end nor beginning.

“I don’t understand,” she traced the golden light of the thread yet again, checking to see if she had simply missed something, that her thread didn’t actually loop around the entirety of the web, and yet no matter how many times she looked, it was always the same. “I don’t—”

“We’re surprised you don’t know,” Lachesis hummed, crouching down and tilting her head up at her to be able to look her in the eye. “I thought Muerte was asking because he normally doesn’t like it when humans have a hold of such power.”

“But you’ve always been immortal, haven’t you?” Lachesis grinned. “Even before you were born.”

“I don’t think you’re making too much sense,” she shut her eyes, unable to keep her focus from being dangled. Atropos sighed, cutting the thread that was holding her up and the cocoon that wrapped around her body, breaking her free from the restraints. She let out a relieved sigh, muttering a small ‘thank you’ to the eldest as she placed her back down to the ground. She stumbled back from the dizziness, raising a hand up to her head.

“The first riddle, do you remember it by word?”

“Yeah,” She huffed. “What you seek has once been sought, and when it has, the lines get crossed. And so it seeks to find where others would not, to keep it safe and it’s magic unfraught.” The words were basically etched into her brain from the amount of times she’s stared into that small piece of paper, muttering it to herself every night.

“What do you think it is?” Atropos tilted her head to the side, and (Y/n) simply gave a glare.

“You think if I knew, I’d be here trying to ask for another riddle?”

At that Lachesis and Atropos scoffed whilst Clotho only let out an amused giggle, the two older sisters glaring at the younger who immediately stopped at their stern stare.

“Our riddle is clear enough,” Atropos grumbled, clearly not liking having to spell it out for her. “I won’t give you another one—”

“—But—” she tried to retort.

“—but, I’ll be generous enough to give you a hint.” Atropos huffed. “It takes some courage to try and get our brother to even agree to let him take you here, and even more to strike up the idea to try and talk to us face to face. " The eldest continued, "But this will still come at a cost."

Now that made the worry in her stomach churn, looking up at them with concern. "Like?"

"You have all the time in the world," Lachesis smirked, her eyes sparkling just a bit too much in excitement. "So we won't cash it in just yet."

Stars, she knew just how much of a bad idea it would be to bargain something that she wouldn't be so sure of the results, but if it would be the only way to get answers, then fine, she'll bite. Besides, how bad could their favor even be?

"Fine," she huffed out after a minute of thinking, already feeling the regret creeping up her spine as their looks of satisfaction only worsened the feeling. "So what's the hint?"

"The riddle isn't about what can kill you," Atropos hummed. "It's about you."

"What?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing, turning to the others for some help.

"What you seek has once been sought, and when it has, the lines get crossed. And so it seeks to find where others would not, to keep it safe and it’s magic unfraught." Clotho repeats the rhyme without missing a beat, and Lachesis continues much to her surprise.

"Keep it in mind, little one: No one makes an immortal indestructible, unless their blood is more than valuable."

Her shoulders tensed, the words echoing in her head until the warmth of a hand finds itself on her shoulder, and she flinches.

Muerte looks down at her with worried eyes, and she reaches out to his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze, the tenseness disappearing as she finds herself safe under his watch.

"We're done here," Atropos waved a leg out, much to Muerte's surprise, widened eyes looking up at the three. "It was nice to get to know you, (Y/n). We'll call you when we need to cash in on our favor."

It felt as if she was being dragged away, the web slowly getting farther and farther away as Muerte's grip on her shoulder tightened. Her eyes snapped open, not even realizing that she had closed them only to find herself back in that clearing where they had been earlier that day, Muerte looking down at her with concerned yet angered eyes, his hand gripping tight at her own.

"What did you do?" He asked, there was anger lingering in his tone, and his grip on her hand tightened. When she looked down, the back of her palm had a singular line down at the middle in a darkish purple ink, and when she went to rub at it, it wouldn't fade away.

A mark that symbolizes the favor, she thought.

"(Y/n)," Muerte's voice pulled her back from her thoughts, and she mumbled a small apology, surprised at the fatigue that coursed through her. "It's alright, the feeling will go away in a few hours." He reassured, she could sense that he was waiting to ask what happened, but she was glad to have had a break from the talking and the constant thinking, just laying in his arms and watching the blades of grass swaying with the wind.

When she gathered herself properly, she sighed, shutting her eyes. "They said something about my blood," she starts, catching Muerte's attention. "Something about it being important or valuable because if that wasn't the case, what would be the point of indestructible skin?"

"Well—" he catches his tongue, his grip on her growing tight just the slightest as the answer finally grows much closer to him, his breath hitching.

"Muerte?" She called out, tilting her head up to look at him, only to find him already looking down at her with a look of disbelief. Her look of confusion shifted into worry.

"I might… have an idea."

[funtimesale123]

Shigaraki and Y/N meet but they are actually online friends

sorry if it’s ooc also I made this in like October 2022 so it’s old and I’m probs not gonna finish it but enjoy I guess

The LOV had attacked the students or U.A. or something Shigaraki - *monologuing*

Y/N - 💭Why do I recognize that voice… Wait… no way it couldn't be.💭

Y/N - ash_N_dust?

Shigaraki - *Stops* *Students and Staff are confused* Bakugo - WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN- Shigaraki - Wait, how do you know my use… r…  💭That voice💭 Shigaraki - *Your username*? Y/N - *gasp* Yeah! So it really is you! 😄 Dabi - Shigaraki? What are you even talking about- Toga - Wait I remember that name 🤔 Toga - *overly dramatic gasp* Dabi! It’s that person Shigi is always online with!!! Toga - Eeee!!!! Toga - *in a sing-song tone* 🎶We found his best friend!!!🎶 Everyone else - Wait what?!?!? *Midoriya and Dabi simultaneously*     Wait you’re best friends with Midoriya - The leader of the LOV!?               Dabi - A hero in training?! *You and Shigaraki simultaneously*         You say that as if I knew Y/N - He was a villain        Shigaraki - They were a hero Y/N - Wait… So this is what you were doing on your little hiatus. You were planning this attack. Shigaraki - Well… I mean… yeah… um kinda? Y/N - 😐😑😐 Y/N - Well sh*t bro. Dabi - *sigh* I can’t believe I have to say this to you of all people but… Dabi - SHIGARAKI STOP FRATERNIZING WITH THE HERO!!! *at hearing this you realize that you’re still technically in a fight* Y/N - Okay… Um well, I’m not going to fight my friend so… Bakugo - wait… DUMBASS DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE CHOOSING THEM OVER US!!! Y/N - W-What?!?!? I’m not choosing anyone. Y/N - I’m choosing not to fight. Y’know to not get involved. Dabi - Shigaraki? Shigaraki - Kurogiri… let’s go. *Kurogiri nods* Dabi - Wait… What? Toga - 😔Aww… But I was just starting to have fun 🥺 *The rest of the LOV can be heard saying their concerns or complaints as they portal away* Sometime later You and everyone that was involved in the incident were about to start discussing what had happened...

[russosafehaven]

Overwhelmed

Pairing: Jigsaw!Billy Russo x Fem!Reader

Content: Autistic!Reader, Overwhelmed Reader, R snaps at Billy, Autistic Burnout, Doesn’t follow canon events, Soft!Billy

POV: Second

BR Taglist: @snowkestrel @judig92 @k-marzolf

A/N: This might be my last piece for a while depending on these next few hours go. I’m burnt out and simply cannot function anymore. I need to give myself a recovery period. Burnout sucks and when I think I’m a terrible person better of dead I know I need to step back. My writing is the way I express myself and it feels unalive recently. The pieces aren’t coming out how I’d like them to and it’s bumming me out even more. It’s likely I’ll still write some short drabbles here and there but series like Pieces of Us and In These Streets will most likely be put on hiatus for a little while.

~

“Billy just stop it’s too much goddamnit!”

The moment the harsh words left your lips you instantly regretted it. Instead of staying there to try and fix it you left. Closing your bedroom door behind you with a small bang. Everything was too much, the scents, the noises, the lights. It was all too much. You were burnt out from everything going on and not once were you given a recovery period.

When the words reached Billy’s ears he was shocked. Never once did he think you’d speak to him like that. Words so ripe with frustration. After the accident he didn’t know you, he didn’t remember you. All he knew is what Frank had told him. You were lovers, he knew your tendencies well and you matched well together. All of that was lost thanks to Rawlins.

He was only just getting to remember you again, the shape of your lips. How your body melded against his perfectly. Favourite kind of flowers. All the things were surface level and nothing could prepare Billy for your wild mood swings. It felt like he was walking on eggshells constantly.

You knew it would be a process. When Curtis and Frank first visited Billy after he woke up you asked them not to tell him about you being autistic. It was something you’d do yourself when the time was right. Except it was never the right time. Either Billy was too frustrated with recovery and getting back to normal or you were too overstimulated to explain. The passionate comforting flame you once had was fizzled out. What was once a bonfire is now just kindling.

“Baby please talk to me”

His solemn pleads made your heart ache. Why couldn’t you just tell him the truth? You’re broken, that’s what you thought. Everyone looked at you and all they saw was a puzzle piece. Lost, alone and unfinished. As a kid you used to notice how different you were. The other kids would say you’re giving them dirty looks when in reality your face was just resting. Everyone looked at you and knew you were different. So when you met Billy you felt normal for the first time in your life. He didn’t call your needs weird or unattainable, he just did it.

“I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I CAN’T”

The words left your tongue faster than your mind could process. Whatever happened to logical thinking? Your brain was a haze of then and now. Wondering what would’ve changed if the accident never happened, if you were never autistic.

“Okay, then come out and we can just watch one of your shows or something”

This was the Billy you once knew. Small glimpses of him in his fractured state. You felt bad for missing your Billy, he was gone. Slowly you opened the door. He was confused to see your lights off, a weighted blanket pulled firmly over your body.

“Wait there for a second!”

Before you could even respond Billy had ran off. Turning off all the lights in the apartment and closing the blinds. When you moved in Billy had gotten blackout curtains for you. Planned for moments like this when the world was simply too much. The next step was the small box of stim toys on the coffee table. Billy laid them all out, organising them by colour. He couldn’t explain why but it just felt right. Third step in the plan, hot chocolates. He put them on while completing step four, the show. Flicking through all the different streaming services he found the right one. The two of you were currently watching New Girl. It made Billy wonder if this was normal behaviour for the two of you. Was this life before? As the microwave went off he dashed to grab the drinks. Pouring them into two Brooklyn 99 mugs. As he placed them down on the table he spotted a small plush toy under it. As he tugged it out he noticed how soft it was. Shrugging he placed it on the couch thinking it might help you. He went back to the guest room where you were sleeping during his recovery.

“Now you can come out”

It was all set up like before. The way your Billy always did it. Curtains drawn, lights off, stim toys organised by colour and the hot chocolates. You gave him a warm smile, the guilt setting in once more. As you took a seat on the couch Billy stood still. Not knowing what to do.

“You can sit with me love”

His face turned red, it felt right those words leaving your lips. Although he hadn’t heard them since he woke up. His relationship with you was still recovering and neither of you thought you’d get it back. Yet here you were together. Content in staying where you are.

[debnamwrites]

okay, gonna try to actually make a decent plotting call this time which i've been meaning to do for awhile but was mobile when i came off hiatus SO here we go here's the short version (long version is after the read more thingy): looking for long-term writing partners who will match my energy and excitement about our plots and characters (surprisingly hard to find for some reason????) and hopefully if we vibe ooc & ic then we can just be fuckin rp besties who throw plots and muses at each other w/o a second thought and luv writing together<33 rn i'm dying for more f/f plots but i'm also fine with m/f and m/m esp if we have multiple plots sooooo pls hit that like button or (preferably) slide into my dms even if we've previously talked / tried to plot / have written together before pls still hmu idc if one of us dropped off the face of the earth i get it life happens :)

OK SO. 21+ and discord only pls. i'm semi-selective now just bc i want ppl who match my energy/excitement about our plot/characters like if u give me nothing to work with in ur replies i'll probs not respond. i'm v v comfortable writing smut (even kinky, taboo kind of shit) but pls don't take that as a deal breaker i'm cool with no smut/fade to black just lemme know :) (also just a warning - i luv hurting my muses so most of them have shitty/potentially triggering backstories but they're still my babies and they r very well thought out) i'm gonna just list particular plots/pairings i've been thinkin bout lately but shit definitely isn't restricted to just these they're just ones i've been rly wanting to write

plots/verses:

zombie apocalypse (the walking dead preferably but also tlou)

twitch streamers best friends to lovers

love island but like... make it f/f

hogwarts????

outer banks (not the dumbass treasure hunting plot but just like the verse of obx)

best friend's older brother/sister

boyfriend's gf x boyfriend's sister

fake dating turned actually in love w each other

student x TA or professor (in college so legal age gap)

effy x cook from skins vibes

THIS

protective gf x golden retriever dumbass bf

i got a lot of traumatized af male muses so if u wanna play a female muse against any of them lmk

probs more but i don't wanna make this super long

pairings/fcs (bold is who i wanna play):

kie x sarah (obx)

madison bailey x madelyn cline

courtney eaton x any girl fc

sabrina carpenter x any girl fc

madelyn cline x anyone

danielle rose russell x kaylee bryant

danielle rose russell x any girl fc

renee rapp x sabrina carpenter/renee rapp x any girl fc

wanted opps:

renee rapp

madison bailey

courtney eaton

kaylee bryant

rudy pankow

sarah pidgeon

dylan o'brien

kaya scodelario

joe keery

tom holland

daniel sharman

zendaya

hailee steinfeld

again, not limited to the above fcs/pairings/plots just ones i've been wanting lately

[peachywritesstuff]

Ok so I said that i was gonna be on a hiatus but I just wanna speak some more since I woke up to more stuff so one here and on Twitter. I'm just gonna use my blog to talk about this more. Again, my messages are open but state your opinion kindly as I am stating mine and my status.

Being neutral means that you are in the middle. You are seeing both sides of the story but in this case we only know one side, the victims. Some of yall are reslly quick to throw around the word rapist apologist when people just wanna stay neutral and wait for his side. Sorry that some people don't wanna go off of Twitter and wait for a official statement. And I'm sorry it makes them seem like heartless beings but that are being neutral

NEUTRAL:not helping or supporting either side in a conflict, disagreement, etc.; impartial.

Some of yall are being w e i r d for saying people who are neutral are defending him and are delusional and blind like what??? Sorry that some people want to wait and hear Percy's side before debating anything. Yes there is 'evidence' but quite frankly as i said in my last post it all seems thrown together. And one person doesn't want to release more evidence because its scary and he is a celebrity but also wants people to share and repost it?? Hate to be that type of person but its too late for that now so you might as well release ALL of the evidence ao everyone can see it. What's the point of keeping the evidence to yourself?? That confuses me. NEUTRAL people are not helping,yes they hear them and their thoughts are with them but they are not going around saying how Percy belongs behind bars,or saying anything about Percy. They are just simply pointing stuff out.

We haven't heard shit from nobody on Percy's side. People are taking his silence for guilt but people can't seem to use their noggins and put together that his social media is out of his hands now. Yes he is an asshole we know that now, he said a slur we know that now, he played with a girl's heart we know that, the sa part is where things are iffy.

Everytime I go on Twitter and there is something else that has been added and then another part not adding up. THIS is all we got ok guys? TWITTER is all we got. And one person doesn't even want to release more evidence. TWITTER is what we will have for a few days which sucks because Twitter is becoming a hot mess EVERYTHING IS A HOT MESS! So some of yall can not blame people for being neutral. Because on Twitter everything is become iffy.

Some of yall think they are ignoring the victims. Which is not the case. They are acknowledge their stories and experiences BUT they are also acknowledgeing their own OPINIONS. Idk if some of yall like to hear this but weather you like it or not but...SOME STUFF DONT ADD UP!! Which is why they are waiting for the OFFICIAL STATEMENT. That's not a bad thing at all. Some of yall just throwing the word racist apologist around with ease when people just genuinely don't want to pick sides until both sides have statements. Some people don't want to follow things from Twitter or dont feel comfortable taking the information from an App where things are known to be.... off, and THATS FINE!!!

I mean I don't blame them at all. I myself is neutral and everything is just a mess. Let's just accept that we are not going to change people's opinions on the matter but they ARE allowed to voice it and it's your decision if you want to interact with it. As i said before, some stuff aint adding up so people are waiting for Percy's side. Nothing wrong with that at all. I'm tired of people calling other people who are remaining neutral awful names for not automatically going on the victims side. Stop calling people heartless or rapist apologist just because they haven't picked a side. Because they are remaining NEUTRAL. Not everybody is taking the situation the same way and some of yall are gonna have to respect that and not blow up when they don't have the same opinions or status as other people do.

People WILL have their opinions and their own status on where they stand and no matter how wrong it looks or how stupid it sounds you can not change it.

[kairiscorner]

rules

hi :D (i probably should've done this earlier LMAO, but better late than nothing) anyway, welcome to my blog :>

as willing as i am to write anything for you guys, i would like to explain what i am willing and not willing to write about.

what i am willing write:

fluff (always a given, ofc 🫶)

angst (delicious, yummy in my tummy, painful, tear-jerking angst <3)

platonic relationships (though please specify it in your requests that it is, bc my mind defaults to romantic plots immediately sometimes 😭😭😭)

and everything else that falls under the category of innocent, friendly, and plain normal.

what i am not willing to write:

incest, r*p*, heavy gore, anything that glorifies or condones p*d*philia, s*xual a**ault or h*ra**ment, s*lf h*rm and s*ic*de, dr*gs, ov**d*s*ng, and just anything triggering to a vast majority of people.

smut, i prefer to keep it sfw here.

anything that makes fun of illnesses or disorders, we don't do that here.

spammed responses/asks :>

do be noted that i will continue this list eventually if i feel uncomfortable with some of what guys may request. i am a minor, please be noted on that; there are many themes that i have yet to find out and many of which i don't want to find out about.

please also remember that i may go on hiatus or on breaks unexpectedly, so if i close requests but keep my asks open, it's not for requesting, it's so you guys can message me if ever and wanna keep yourselves anonymous ^^ i'm very easy to overwhelm, hence i make some impulsive decisions when under pressure, such as closing my asks without warning or deleting a few posts.

i am more than willing to write requests for you all, but unfortunately, there are some requests i cannot do or choose not to for a number of reasons. please respect my choice to not do some requests, but please don't feel bad, i'm probably just not the right person to write your ideas, sorry ^^""

again, please respect my rules, and i'll respect your rules, too when you guys talk to me <:)) thank you for reading all that, and i'll catch you guys in my next fic !!

[indelicateink]

Is it genuine when lestat says i have loved you with all myself because if that was true Antoinette wouldn’t have been a part of their lives

interesting question!

this is one of my favorite lines from lestat because i find it h e a r t b r e a k i n g.

“I have loved you with all myself.” = I did my best. I’m not perfect but I gave it everything I had. i.e., he is a fuckup, he knows he’s a fuckup, it ended in tragedy, but this fuckup nonetheless was ride or die for ldpdl. To me, yes: it’s genuine.

Neither Louis or Lestat comes out looking great in their relationship skills here, I’m not placing blame ANYWHERE: Louis came to this relationship with an avoidant attachment style; Lestat, an anxious attachment style, and we know why based on their histories. That combo’s a likely recipe for pain, especially when you don’t even Talk About Your Relationship.

I’m understanding from your question that you feel Lestat’s infidelity negates the intensity of his love, in which case (no judgment) I infer you bring a specific view of love and commitment to the question?

For these two queer men in the early 20th C USA (especially being AR characters) I personally suspect physical monogamy is perhaps not…wholly sacred. Louis wants (and was presumably raised to want) monogamy. Lestat also seems to want monogamy from Louis and is hypocritical in his jealousy over Louis’ body and Louis’ attentions, but! to be with Louis he’s down for a MMF threesome with Lily to help give Louis plausible deniability; the first Antoinette seduction scene (on the same damn couch lol) kinda felt to me like Lestat was down for whichever of his fantasies might play out in his bid for attention: Louis killing Antoinette in a jealous rage, another MMF threesome, Louis throwing out Antoinette and jumping Lestat’s bones, Louis being refreshingly jealous and possessive after the fact, something-something-Lestat-finally-gets-attention. When it didn’t play out as hoped I feel like Lestat stubbornly/desperately doubled down, which was just tossing a gas can on the nascent fire. (too soon for fire references lol?) And Louis was down to rub Lestat’s face in Lestat’s dumbassery by having sex with an old flame. (The sex, incidentally, he was not having with Lestat lol.)

So here’s the great big YMMV issue, and it’s super personal: you are wedded to someone for literally eternity. You have a high sex drive. They have recently decided the amazing sex life you guys shared is on hiatus for the foreseeable future—possibly also even any kind of physical affection. It has proven impossible for you two to discuss this productively or even directly. You love each other too much to end the relationship. But you still need sex and physical affection. What do you do? What does sex mean to you? To your partner? To the society you live in? What weight do you give to needing sex?

Lestat—ruled by jealously and a fear of abandonment, in addition to that high sex drive—he chose to get his sexual needs met quietly (at first) elsewhere. Everyone’s going to judge that differently based on their personal feelings about sex drives and definitions of/feelings abt monogamy.

I feel like when the Antoinette jealousy ploy didn’t work out, he just transitioned to using her as low-maintenance sex on the side, and she then progressed to being a secret outlet for him outside the household where he was the odd man out in the Louis-Claudia Club. (And then much later there’s the offhand comment at the Mardi Gras party about him dragging some socialite under the stairs years ago, so who knows where he was dipping his wick during the Depression Years and the Separation Years.) I feel like by the late ‘30s Antoinette was still a familiar crutch because fundamental conflicts in Lestat and Louis’ relationship were still unsolved, and Lestat was no less insecure. What started out early on for Lestat as a band-aid became a major septic mess that only helped accelerate loustat’s descent into crazytown.

I’m not blaming Louis, not blaming Lestat; this is the conflict of valid needs they find themselves in.

Lestat loved Louis too much to end their relationship (and those years of Louis’ deep post-claudia depression—both of their depressions—looked Super Grueling). So, being who he is, I feel like he did what he had to do to stay, messy as it was; I’m not saying he handled it well in my opinion. But we each get to decide how important a sex drive is, if celibacy for an indefinite period of time was ever really an option for Lestat, how long this character should have been willing to wait for withheld intimacy, could someone so insecure and needy ever possibly gracefully navigate secret infidelity, if he should’ve raw dogged a thousand randos in the greater New Orleans area instead of settling on mostly one person (who was a sore point), how much compassion if any do we grant the dysfunctional.

So back to your question—is it genuine? For me it is genuine. For me “with all myself” means with everything he had to work with, imperfections and all, it was all for Louis.

idk, it’s an interesting question and this apparently is my novel on my perspective on it lol

lol caveat: all i’m saying here is based on the story as we know it so far in S1, as told from Louis’ unreliable memory lol. good times!

[vince-ebooks]

I'm only two days into playing Coral Island and my love for Rafael is so strong it pulled me out of a decade-long writing hiatus. enjoy this very self-indulgent Rafael x reader fic ehehehrheah;dfa (tw; gore mention)

Alakazam!

“Look, even the twist on Coral Stars was less predictable than this one. That jump scare totally didn’t ge-”

Rafael shoves a fish n’ chip into your mouth and ignores your comment. You shoot him a look briefly, but Rafael watches on, totally in his element. He steals a fish n’ chip for himself as the masked magician on-screen levitates his next hapless victim into a wood chipper.

It’s a muggy summer night, and while everyone is piled up at Fishenchips, Rafael invited you to watch his favorite horror movie -- Alakazam -- at the blacksmiths’. What you expected was going to be a goofy, bargain-bin slasher turned out to be an absolute gorefest. Rafael hugs you a little tighter as the two of you slowly sink into the covers. He tucks his head under your chin, his eyes glued on the screen. His jet black hair is soft and smells a little sooty. He grabs your hand unconsciously as the masked magician on screen wrings the absolute life out of a police officer on the scene. 

“Didn’t you say it was your fourth time watching this movie?” you say.

“My idea of excitement,” Rafael responds, shrugging slightly. You never would have guessed this in the one year you’ve known him.

Looking to find a way to crack open a mysterious geode you found in a trash can, you happened upon the blacksmiths’ shop -- and there was Rafael, stacking fuel into the furnace, just noticing you walk in. “Can I help you?” he spoke up softly. He turns towards you. “Oh, you must be the farmer that just moved in. My name’s Rafael. My brother Pablo and I run the blacksmiths’ shop here. Nice to meet you!” His voice was deep, but welcoming; his face was worn slightly from working all day. 

“Nice to meet you too!” you said. “Think you could crack open this geode I found? From, uh, from the mines.” You wipe a little bit of soda gunk off the rock sneakily and hand it to him alongside some gold coins.

“Sure,” Rafael said. He places the geode on the anvil and swung his hammer with a practiced fluidity, as a painter would his strokes. The geode cracked open and revealed insides lined with a purplish-blue metal.

“This-” Raf gasps in excitement, “-this is tevandium! The metal used to craft the Ironeye Hammer!” Your eyes meet Rafael’s; they are glittering at the discovery, the bags under his eyes disappearing under his grin. He clears his throat, and proceeds to hand the geode to you. “Here, this is yours. If you want to craft a new tool out of it, let me know!”

You take the geode, glance at it, and then back at him. He’s blushing, embarrassed at getting so giddy with someone he met mere minutes ago. Chuckling under your breath, you speak up. “Actually, I was wondering if you could tell me more about this Ironeye Hammer. I’ve only read about it in passing in folk tales.” You patted the books in your knapsack.

Rafael lit up again. “There’s a lot to say about it. Been reading about these magic tools since my father started teaching me smithing. Maybe, uh, we can talk over some sashimi? I’ll even let you try the anvil yourself.” His muscles rippled as he tried to suppress his overexcitement again, and his neckline glistened with sweat. “I would love to,” you said.

Something between you two began to click.

Since that day, you’ve hung out with him every day. You read him the romance novels you brought from Pokyo as he cleaned the moss off the gravestones in the morning, shared tacos with him at Emma’s truck in afternoons, helped him load logs into storage some nights.

Even his brother Pablo began to notice the change in atmosphere every time you barge in the blacksmiths’ spot with a bag full of geodes. “He’s not the kind of guy that goes out of his way to go out, y’know?” he remarks. “Always staying inside, always preferring the quiet. But he’s warmed up to you. You two make a real good pair. Inseparable, even.” 

Rafael’s hands are tough and calloused from working the anvil and furnace all day, but his fingertips fit seamlessly between yours. It’s a familiar feeling, and you relish in it, curling your body around him just a little more. The credits roll as the camera pans across a trail of blood and corpses.

“So, what’d you think?” Rafael sits up to look at you. You struggle to express how surprised you are that such a quiet, kind-hearted man could enjoy a movie like this. How, honestly, you didn’t pay much attention to the movie because between the muggy weather, the furnace in the shop, and the snuggling under the covers, you almost fell asleep from how cozy you were feeling. How familiar and real of a feeling this was, and how grateful you were that it was just the two of you, holding each other.

So you pull Rafael into a kiss, instead. Taken aback for just a moment, he follows your lead, cupping your face as the two of you melted into each other. You feel Rafael blushing. Was it the heat? Was it your odd timing? Was it just something about Raf that made him so endearing? You push the thoughts aside as your lips part as Rafael pushes in, tongues dancing like embers.

Rafael sat at the edge of the lake, opposite Alun-Alun plaza and away from the New Year’s Eve festivities. Taking in the quiet flow of water, he twiddled with a small tool in his hands. The frigid air was brisk, and Rafael could feel his heart beat. He liked the cold, no ‘unbearable Summer heat’. Stars speckled the night sky as the moon shone over the healing lake shrine.

“Hey, there you are! How’s the party going on over there?” He brushed some snow off of his beard and adjusted his puffy jacket.

“Almost twisted an ankle, but I won the sack race! Loser’s bracket, at least,” you said with a scoff. “I’m challenging you to a one-on-one before the Cherry Blossom festival next year.” You shared some sashimi and green tea and sat next to him.

You didn’t know how long the two of you relaxed by the shrine before Rafael blurted out, “Can I kiss you?” You almost didn’t hear it at first, but you did hear Rafael gulp out of nervousness, his gloves rubbing together. He turned toward you, his ears red from the cold and snow-tipped. His expression appeared almost concerned that he had said the wrong thing, his mouth twisting into a pout, ashamed at his curtness. “I- I mean, if you…”

As you lean in, his embarrassment cleared away immediately as your lips met his and tongues danced like embers. Right on cue, fireworks popped in the sky like crystals, and you felt as though you and Rafael were breaking something brand new, wide open. 

You both pull away from the kiss, breathless. Just the same as it was the first time. Rafael wraps you in for a hug, bringing you back to reality.

“Really sets the mood… my idea of excitement, for sure.” You flash Rafael a wry smile. Rafael’s eyelids are getting heavy, and so are yours. “Wanna watch another next week? Got a month before late fees,” he says behind a yawn. “Sure thing, Raf,” you yawn back. Rafael pulls the covers up, and you sneak in one last kiss before the two of you drift off on the couch.