#we stayed up til 5am and at some point he turned on the camera for some time

[boycannibal]

bro im.

[louisewahlander]

Journal 1998

OCTOBER 5 1998 – Farnham England Everyone has moved in to the house now. Ground floor: Charlotte, Rob, and Henry. First floor: Me, Abi, Pauliina, Ella and Emma…and Second floor is the kitchen. My room is awful, white painted brick walls, and it has the shape of…well, i dunno, it has no shape and yet it has a million and one shapes, i think i have 7 corners and none is in a 90 degree angle. Atleast i got the biggest room in the house, but then again, i have to pay most rent. I love the address though, Castle Field. We are right behind Farnham Castle and we can see it from our kitchen tower-window. Pauliina is nice, she’s finish so i guess we have more in common than i have with the rest in the house. They are actually a bunch of snobs! So obnoxious and loud and GIRLY…they are! I cannot believe how they can behave like this just because of a jumper or a pair of shoes: "They’re sooooo gooorgeous!!" And they giggle and jump up and down. OCTOBER 17 1998 – Farnham England Welcome to the house of fun… Aaah, how i love my house mates, they’re so…so, loud, and they never pick up their junk after themselves, and they never go to bed, they throw parties til 5am and don’t care about the ones who want to sleep, they yell and shout, and scream and uuuuuuugh! How can anyone be like them? All they care about is their hair and make up, clothes and shoes… And have any of them been into college yet? I doubt it cuz they are always shopping or just hanging in the kitchen with Henrys one and a million friends! Everytime you go out of your room there’s a new face in the hallway or kitchen, and they say Hi! I’m a friend of Henry’s…Oh yeah, kinda guessed you were! Oh and Char is sooo skinny i’ve never seen anything skinnier and yet she complains she’s so fat and all she eats is Kellogs Branflakes, and at the most a slice of toast with nothing on it… OCTOBER 18 1998 – Farnham England I hate Sundays in Farnham! They’re so ghost like. Everything is so quiet… And today Pauliina is in London. It’s only me and Gabrielle left. We went for the longest walk, it wasn’t meant to be that long… First we walked around town for an hour taking pictures for this stupid module i don’t understand, and neither does Gabi. She even asked Robin what the hell it’s about and he looked at her with those evil eyes saying You don’t know? Read the module book… She said I have, and then he looked totally annoyed and started to explain it. The thing is, the module book says one thing, Robin another, and John says another thing, and i refuse to ask Martin for he’ll probably say something totally different from everyone else… From what i understand we’re supposed to represent Farnham, while challangeing the rural myth and…yuck! Anyway, we were out taking pictures of Farnham, but both me and Gabrielle ended up taking pictures of trash near the shut down theatre. Then we went on to the cemetery, and there Gabrielle suggested that we should go up to the fields behind the art colege. Sure! We started walking and she said Let’s go up here, i know this is the way, this must be the right way… Ha ha ha, right… Eventually she found the right way and we walked out into the open fields… Beautiful, until Gabi started talking about her phobias with open fields. Saying: What if an axe murderer comes along or a wierdo who starts to follow you, where do one hide??? And she says i’m having wierd thoughts sometimes! I think we were out walking for 3 hours. OCTOBER 23 1998 – Farnham England Just came back from the union. It’s Emma’s birthday and she invited everyone in the house to come down to the SU for drinks. Sure she asked me to come along, and she asked Pauliina too…but when we came to the union they totally ignored us and said nothing to us except for: You allright? Like fifty times in a row. They took pictures and excluded me and Pauliina from everyone of them. Me and Pauliina had the advantage to slag them right infront of them…in swedish! Ha ha! Emma had on this skirt that was so short you didn’t need to look up it to see her knickers and Abi had on this top which showed most of her boobs, they were nearly falling out. There’s nothing wrong to show off your boobs if you have a nice pair but, you don’t have to think they’re the biggest and best looking pair in the world, and you don’t have to look down on them every five minutes to admire them, and you don’t shake them and then giggle because they move… They’re a bunch of tarts! Ella and Char are snobby too, but they are a lot better than Abi and Emma… Anyway, i left the union after a while, and by then Rob had left too, cuz they ignored him aswell, but they always do. They say he's’wierd and what not. But he's’a sweet guy, he's’only 17 and so what if he likes to keep to himself? OCTOBER 24 1998 – Farnham England Ha ha ha… Last night Charlotte lost her keys at the union, so she couldn’t get in. Henry did let her in to the house, but then she couldn’t get into her room, so she had to sleep on the kitchen floor. How hilarious! The thing is, she lost her keys, never asked anyone if they’d seen them, called the porters lodge and had them come and change the lock (the front door one, so we all got new keys, and the door to her room) and she had to pay £86 for it! Then ofcourse as soon as the locksmith was gone some guy showed up and said he had Char’s keys… She had given them to him at the union! So she payed £86 for nothing really!! Ha ha ha! I’m not an evil person, but i think she got what she deserved, for if you drink yourself stupid each night like she (and the other girls in this house) does… They all need to realise that they can’t go on like this, they dress like tarts and they are pissed stupid every night, they can hardly walk. Maybe i feel like this cuz i’m older than all of them, i dunno. But it’s not like i don’t drink, for i do, but i don’t drink so much that i pass out from it. And they should be careful, there’s been 3 rapes in Farnham the past month, and they’ve all been done with the help of the "rape drug"… OCTOBER 25 1998 – Farnham England There was a big fire in the house next to ours, joint with ours tonight! Me and Pauliina were down in the laundry when the alarm went off. First we didn’t care, thought it’s just another one of them false alarms. I mean, there’s been atleast 2-3 alarms each week since we got here, and they’ve all been false, the fire trucks has been here and all, but there’s been no fires! But in the end we did walk out of the laundry room and some girl came yelling at us to go to the fire assembly point, so we started walking up Castle Field when we saw smoke coming out of our house! Both of us panicked, and both said at the same time: My cameras!! Then we saw that it wasn’t our house but the one next door, so that felt abit better! But still, that house is joint with ours… The fire trucks came and they had smoke divers and everything! Scary! Apparantly a chip pan got over heated and exploded. And now they have no kitchen…it’s all burnt up…and our back yard is full of junk…the cooker, a melted kettle, a toaster, pots and pans… I can’t wait for tomorrow to take pictures of it all. One thing is for sure, i am never gonna ignore a fire alarm from now on. NOVEMBER 6 1998 – Farnham England I got the tickets to fly to Belfast today! £79 it cost for a return ticket, plus i need to get to Heathrow and back too…taxi? It’s £35 to go to Heathrow by taxi…expensive! I leave on the 12 th and stays until the 15 th. I’m really looking forward to this trip, i need a break! I did go to London 2 days ago, and it was fun. Me and Patricia went to photo galleries and the V&A. Had a delicious lunch at Govindas in SoHo. Then we did some shopping, but i didn’t buy much as i am going to Belfast!!! We had revies three days ago, and they went well, i got a good mark, and they loved my workbook! OH! And i finally got my tuition award. I was down at the registry asking if they’d heard anything from the Surrey County Council and they said no, and then this guy phoned them up and fixed it all and now i got a £1000 tuition grant which will cover my whole tuition for this year!! Yay! I called Emma and asked if i could stay there for the weekend i’m in Belfast and she said yes. They’re all looking forward to seeing me. When i called one of Emma’s daughters picked up the phone and i almost didn’t finish the Hi when she screamed Ooooh! Is it Louise? How you doing? Bla bla bla… It was great, then she asked, When are you coming over to see us, we haven’t seen you in a while, we missed you the last time you were over… And i told her i was coming over in a few days… And she said she’d have to tell Emma-Jane and Vicky… It was great, i’m so glad that they concider me a part of their family. Emma said she might not be home when i arrive but she said You got the key, let yourself in and make yourself at home, your room is there and you know where to find everything! NOVEMBER 13 1998 – Anditown Belfast I’m so happy i am here again! I love this place. The flight over went well and i sat next to some guys and one called me, what was it, not lady…madame or something and i nearly died, hey i’m only 22, and the guy couldn’t be younger than 20… i took the bus from the airport into the city centre and then i walked to Belfast Exposed and Sean gave me coffee in Gerrys mug that said "Horny little devil" ha ha, which i needed for it rained and rained! And they have made Belfast Exposed so beautiful now, they now have the place where the chippie used to be on King Street, and that’s where you enter the place, and it’s so nice, and there’s stairs up to the old premises. And everything was cleaned out and organised for once, and they have a brand new darkroom which i’m in love with! It’s great. And they let me print some pictures for free, those negatives from 96, when Sean took pictures of us at Kellys the night before me and Liz moved back to Sweden. They turned out great. Mark had sent me some of them, but there were so many other pictures i had not seen. It’s sad though cuz Kathy is no longer with the Belfast Exposed, there’s some new girl there instead. After that i went to Anditown and met Emma and one of her daughters, i can never remember her name, she’s got too many kids and grandkids… I do know Moira for she’s in Dublin and she’s the one who gave us a lift down there once…but the others i have no idea who they are, i just know them by faces… Then some lady i swear i have never seen came up to me hugged me and kissed me and said How wonderful to see you again, how are you dear? I don’t know who she was! (i still don’t, and it’s now March 11 99) And Emma’s friend the evil lady was there too, but she has altzheimers now so all she did was sit on a chair and sleep. She always used to stare at me and Liz and mumble words we couldn’t make out what they were… I have been to two exhibitions, Yoko Ono "have you seen the horizon lately" which was crap, she takes credit for alot of things that John Lennon made when he was alive, and that’s not right! Then i saw David Byrne’s "Strange ritual and Sleepless nights" which was amazing! I loved that one! I could’ve stayed looking at that forever. There was a Byrne book in the gallery shop but it was £40 so i couldn’t buy it for i had spent so much money shopping allready! Oh, i wanna see more of Byrne’s photography!! Ofcourse i missed the Clive Barker book signing! I was going to go there, but i was in my room and looked at the time, and realized that it had started 10 minutes ago, so i didn’t bother to try to get there… Oh i don’t wanna leave… NOVEMBER 20 1998 – Farnham England Me Charlotte and Emma cleaned our kitchen today…scrubbed it with bleach! It was so yucky! Emma cleaned out the fridge and gave out a loud scream of horror as she tossed a bag of chips on the floor… Me and Char had a look in it, and i swear, another day and those green furry chips would’ve walked away on their own. Why keep chips in the fridge, for weeks! It’s Henry’s chips and when he gets back he’s gonna hear about it! Atleast now the whole kitchen is clean. But for how long? Char came up with the idea of writing huge notes: Do your fucking dishes, NOW! Stuff like that, and we did put some up. The people in this house needs to take responsibility. It’s always me or Emma or Char who cleans up after everyone else! And when you have to use bleach all over it’s really bad! The kitchen is clean, but it has a yucky smell of Sainsburys white bleach instead!