#we were both incredibly confused by this interaction but for very different reasons

[t00thpasteface]

whenever they invent a new kind of guy the first place they send 'em is the cash register of a food service employee

[unreadpoppy]

Halsin, Minthara and Datamines

I've talked about this before but I decided to make a more "formal" post about it, so that I don't have to keep repeting myself. Also, this is a situation that lowkey makes me a bit stressed and it has been plaguing my mind for quite long now, so I'll use this as an excuse to talk about it.

Context: There's datamined stuff that people found of a potential ultimatum scene. In it, Halsin confronts the player for saving Minthara in the party, because of what she almost did to the grove, and basically says it's either her or me (hence the use of the word ultimatum) and then the player would have to choose to either keep Minthara or Halsin.

Now, Larian, as far as I know, has made no move to actually implement this in game but apparently, lines have been voiced.

So... my opinion on this (and let me make this VERY clear: this whole post is solely my opinion ok, feel free to disagree with me, I'm not the owner of the truth): I would hate if this got added in game.

First, because I love both Minthara and Halsin, and I was so happy when Minthara was finally recruitable in a good run, because I personally, don't find evil runs as appealing, so it was nice to have her while still enjoying what I was doing. And Minthara is such a fun character and I loved every second I got to spend with her.

Second, I don't think it's a choice/scene that makes sense. Why implent the option to recruit Minthara on a good run and then make the player choose between her or Halsin? Because, if you can't have both, why go through all the pains of doing a good run, and just stick to an evil one if you want Minty? Like, it goes back to what it was previously, making the option to have her in a good run pointless.

Third, this scene, TO ME, feels incredible out of character for Halsin. Look, I'm not saying that the two of them need to be best friends, but it feels weird that the one guy who believes that time heals, that people and circumstances can change, a guy who believes in freedom and all that, would give an ultimatum because Minthara, under mind control of the Absolute, wanted to end the Grove. If Halsin knew that Minthara didn't do those things willingly, that she didn't have a choice and is not proud of the hold that the Absolute had on her, I doubt he wouldn't offer her the same grace of possible change and healing as he does others.

I'm ok if this scene was something like the confrontation between Lae'zel and Shadowheart. The two have a fight, due to different beliefs, and Tav 'picks' a side to end the conflict, but ultimatly, both stay and eventually, get over their animosity towards the other.

But, in my opinion, forcing the player to have to let go of a companion that they fought hard to get, it's just so absolutely shitty and feels like a betrayal to what their characters are. And sincerely, it would make me feel very negative towards Halsin, if he wasn't willing to listen to what Minthara had to say and was forcing the player to choose.

With all of that out of the way, I want to address data mines over all. To make a long story short, I'm not a fan of datamined content. I think it's stuff we (players) were not even supposed to know, and when datamined stuff gets discovered, it's spread around the fandom like canon when it's not. Sure, there is a possibility that this stuff might get implemented but it is not a guarantee, and it should not be treated as canon. What is canon is what is IN the game, what we can see, hear, find, interact, not datamined material.

Also, please people, if you're talking about datamined material, MAKE IT KNOWN SOMEWHERE IN YOUR POST. More than once was I left very confused by people talking about character interactions that weren't in game, only for later to discover it was datamine.

Finally, to end on the Minthara-Halsin situation. I think these two have a lot of potential together. I've been told by a friend that a reason this would be implemented would be because of the 'issue' of these two characters sharing a tent, which I hope it's not the 'reason', bc that's such a non issue, and the two of them having to share a place is exactly the type of potential for like, interactions and dialogues;

Just stop trying to pit two bad bitches against each other and let Minthara and Halsin be together.

[tcdamoving]

i'm eating up your hc analyses

speaking of the different charlotte units, i've been wondering if you have any thoughts on v19? she's by far one of the most confusing characters in my eyes. of course, i got that entire monologue about the entertainment industry, but her as a character i never fully understood. i've seen people water her down to just the author "complaining" about/to the audience, but she seems like so much more.

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. but i'm getting to it now... after rewriting a lot of my original thoughts on the matter since im so happy you asked this

tl;dr v19 is a criticism on the entertainment industry/exploitation of angst and trauma, while also serving as a direct foils to charles and scarlett and being the ultimate downfall of both of them. #Girl

DISCLAIMER BEFOREHAND: V19 is absolutely the... hardest to talk about charlotte, for multiple reasons (how she talks with scarlett, the things she does talk about, her past and interactions with the house etc etc) and while a lot of the subject matter in her story is handled crudely, i don't think it is bad or intentionally malicious

i also think she is the charlotte etherane struggled to write the most since she has such a large role in the wider story but thats a whole different topic. she is kind of a mess! (said lovingly)

the rest of this is going underneath a cut. a lot of it is personal interpretation and therefore will not fit with other peoples views on v19/the plot

tw for canon-typical abuse suicide violence and mentions of rape/sa

V19 is likely one of the, if not the, first Charlotte unit. If not the first unit, then the first one to gain consciousness and awareness of living in the "False Realm" and of the true nature of the True Realm. She is also, for sure, the first Charlotte to discover Mother and the only Charlotte who has done permanent damage to The House without direct interference from Charles. Scarlett had to use the powers of The Oracle to help stop her

She can be seen manipulating the House, changing the nature of the False Realm itself, and similar things we only see Charles able to do. While Char-Scar.. uh... destroyed the realm, and Q84 wielded Mother's power, they both suffered drastic consequences for doing so (and, again, only were able to with the interference of Charles) and while V19 wasn't like, having a good time, she also wasn't possessed with the strength of an actual God or actively rotting away and dying

So we have her 1) Knowing the truth about the False Realm and Mother, 2) Able to wield the powers of Mother without dying, and 3) Wrecking so much havoc that The Oracle is willing to step in to help her (...While also gleefully ruining Scarlett's life in the process). Let's talk about how this ties into Charles (and the "True God")

(This is all being very generous, of course. We know that after the Wish is used, the Charlotte's die [as seen with Q84], but since we don't know V19's wish, all we can see is her wreaking havoc on everything and not dying or suffering for it the way everyone else has)

V19 hates Charles. While her speech is a heavy-handed commentary on the entertainment industry as a metaphor, in-universe it directly refers to Charles and how all the Charlotte's directly exist to be abused and harmed as little whump dolls for his own personal venting and vendetta against Scarlett. she is a big, personal "fuck you" to Charles.

....And similarly to the industry she talks about, she becomes him to gain power and escape from her abuse. She takes on the mantle of a "God," literally wears the same outfit as him and Umbrella Man/Father, strikes the same pose as him (the white eyes/smile), and changes and influences the story for her own whims/entertainment

she is a sufferer who perpetuates the same cycle of suffering to teach others a lesson, which is influenced by the incredibly flawed view Charles has on women and abuse, which extends to Scarlett.

While Char-Scar and Q84, both influenced by Charles, are represented by purity, V19 is the only one who isn't and gets grossly violent at points. She is not "pure," so she cannot be "helped" by Charles or Umbrella Man, or by Seth, and has to forge her own path forward through violence

...Bringing up her outfit again, how she is the only Charlotte who chooses to wear the black Oracle outfit, rather than being forced to wear it like Char-Scar? And how black tends to represent groundedness and reality, compared to white's delusion and purity?

She is not loved by her God, so she decides to take matters into her own hands when confronted

....and forces Scarlett to strangle her to death.

(I'm going to talk about this more in a different post, but V19 makes Scarlett kill her by straddling her and pinning her to the ground... V19 is a victim of rape... Yeah, you can make the connection.)

She is an incredibly nihilistic person, excited to show Scarlett how horrible the world they live in is and break her "illusion" of safety/happiness/peace.

And then, Scarlett decides to become a Charlotte, the a vessel that get exploited and abused by the False Realm and suffers horrifically for it. While she gets much more kinder endings than V19, she is still stuck in the same loop that V19 is.

She is proved wrong, of course, ending up in the same cycle as the rest of the Charlotte's. And when she does "break free," by becoming the Oracle, it is still not of her own will, and she is still lead by the hand by Umbrella Man/Charles... and she does become a murderer, by all technical terms.

She and her trauma and abuse are exploited for "entertainment"... AKA, for Charles, AKA for a game. (AKA how young women especially are used and exploited and just have to "put up with it")

(She and Q84 are very similar, in different directions. Q84 is the "pure little sister/daughter," while V19 is the impure, violent killer. Madonna-whore complex to the MAX! They kill equally, but since Q84 is based around his own views of purity (...and is influenced by Vincent and his personality, someone who he views as practically a God) and V19 is pretty directly influenced by Anri, someone who he struggles to connect and relate to and often villainizes, Q84 can be excused and V19 cannot. They're the Golden Child/Black Sheep. They both hate him.)

(She also shares a lot of similarities with Anri. Her body shape, the way she dresses, her "cruel/dismissive" as interpreted by the Eylers being revealed to either be directly untrue or a red herring, her trauma, the way she is treated by the Eylers, etcetera. She is impure to Charles in the same way that Anri is impure to him)

Scarlett directly mentions how she wonders if V19's wish was for Scarlett to become a Charlotte. If she was doomed to fall down a similar path.

Maybe, or maybe not. V19's existence leads to the fall of the House and of the False Realm. Her forcing Scarlett to "see the truth," leading to Char-Scar, leading to Q84's creation and Charles's suicide.

In the true ending of Childhood's End, Q84 kills Char-Scar, and her and Charles die together as The House and the False Realm self-destructs, and Mother dies.

V19 is the beginning of the end - "The One Who Began It All." Her actions directly lead to the death of The House. Everything you'd want to avoid in a Charlotte - mean, abused, and knowing of the true nature of The House. Under all circumstances, she should just be thrown to the side and left to die. But that's the point - the Charlotte's being abused and used as entertainment and, well, "torture porn" is what leads to the death of the False Realm, or "the industry" because one decides to fight back and take out everyone else with her.

It also shows to the instability of Charles's mind that one act of rebellion can be the catalyst to the death of everything. This is similar to how real-life abuse and exploitation work, with whistleblowers blowing abusive situations wide open. While Charles is not an abuser, he directly represents the cycle of abuse within the False Realm.

The Charlotte's are the "Perfect Girl" to Charles. They have to live up to his standard, or they are gotten rid of. While this is usually portrayed through Mother/Lilith's real-life neglect, Charles also enacts this violence upon the Charlotte's, whether intentionally or not. See how he wanted to hurt Char-Scar but gave it up because of how "good" and "kind" she was.

V19 was not perfect, so she did not get the same kind of treatment. She was allegedly crude, mean, and erratic. She was abused and assaulted by her classmates. She wasn't a sweet, kind, little girl. So, as revenge, she brought the entire House down with her.

She destroyed False Realm. If I had to wager, I would say that was her wish.

anhyways stream the #1 v19 song

i really hope this all makes sense LMFAO i got off track a lot and had to rewrite a lot of parts to make it more coherent + repeat a lot

[yellowjacketsgayfanfic]

Shauna brings you to Lottie's wellness center

SUBMISSION:

i LOVE your writing

Could I request Shauna x female reader

When Shauna tells reader that she’s going to lotties wellness center or whatever reader breaks down because reader is like seriously attached to Shauna so they go together but reader is also really shy and hates being in places with loads of people and when they get there and Shauna is told to go do the activity she chose reader follows and then that annoying guy with the goat tells reader to go away but Shauna defends reader and they go into the forest for a fluffy little make out sesh till misty interrupts

A/N: obsessed with this prompt and how specific it is, ugh, eating this shit up

"Honey, I kind of have to go." Shauna repeated to you, hands on your knees.

Your arms were crossed tightly over your chest, eyes furrowed in defiance. "I don't want you to leave for a long time. I want to be with you!"

"What are you going to do there?" Shauna attempted to reason with you.

"What are you going to do there." You argued.

Shauna let out a long breathy sigh. "Okay, touché. But there's going to be a lot of people there. A lot of freaks. It's a cult, Y/N."

"But I'll be with you." You smiled sweetly.

She rolled her eyes. "It's useless trying to say no to you. Okay, get your butt in the car."

***

When the two of you arrived, it was more crowded than you originally thought. Purple blobs moved around in incredibly intentional paths, doing chores, talking to each other, laughing.

Shauna grabbed your hand. "Jesus Christ."

"This is awful." You snorted. "Holy shit."

You both walked forward toward the center of the compound. Natalie and Misty walked toward the both of you.

"Natalie." Shauna mumbled, heading over to give her a hug.

You wrapped your arms around yourself. Very quickly, several of Shauna's old friends tumbled in, all equally surprised to see each other. You, however, quickly became the center of attention.

"Who is this?" Natalie drawled, walking closer to get a better look at you. "She's young, Shauna."

Shauna cleared her throat. "This is Y/N. She's my partner."

"Oh." Taissa raised her brows.

You smiled sheepishly, moving closer to Shauna for safety. "Hi."

"Welcome."

Everyone turned their heads. Lottie was walking toward the lot of you. "Especially to you." Lottie smiled, reached out her hands to lock with yours.

You allowed her to, immediately understanding the chokehold this woman had on your lover and her friends. "Uh, hey."

"You're gorgeous. So full of life." She grinned. "I'm so glad you're here."

You swallowed, wondering if you were beginning to regret coming, actually. "Thanks. Happy to tag along."

You looked behind your shoulder at Shauna, who shrugged at you with confused eyes.

"Come along. All of you. The time is ripe to get started on your treatments." She tugged you along by the hand, and you sped up your gate to keep up with her.

Shauna jogged ahead, and the rest followed suit, playing follow the leader.

***

"When someone new comes in, we often let them choose a treatment for themselves." Lottie announced, holding a pine board with different therapies written on them in pretty handwriting. "Especially for our newest guest, I think we should let Y/N go first."

You blinked, looking at the women around you who seemed incredibly tentative to interact with anything that was going on at all.

"Alright." You mumbled, taking the board from her.

"Listen." Van sat up. "No offense, but this is really just not for me."

Natalie piped up, "I thought the same thing. Just give it a chance."

"Listen, Nat. I'm happy you're alive, and Lottie, it's... good to see you're back from Switzerland." Van continued.

"Switzerland? That was over a decade ago." Lottie shook her head, seemingly offended.

"Wow. That's great." Van nodded. "But I am just..."

"Okay, um." You sputtered. "I am going to do self-care. Right, Shauna?"

"Oh, mm, mhmm." She nodded. "Absolutely. All of my rational senses are screaming, but yes, self-care sounds right."

You slapped her thigh and gave her a warning look. The rest of the group picked their own therapies as well.

"Wonderful. We're going to get you started with this, but before you all head out, you will need to text this landline number to someone who is available for emergencies." Lottie announced. "You will be giving up your phones."

That was fine. Shauna was your emergency contact, and honestly, you were Shauna's. You took your phone out of your pocket, "Going offline for a few days will be nice."

"Technology keeps you enslaved to other peoples priorities." Misty nodded to you.

"Say," Lottie sang, "Y/N. Why don't I take you and Shauna out to the barn where we will begin your treatment?"

"Barn?" Shauna questioned.

***

It was, indeed, a barn filled with cattle. Cows, goats, chickens, and lambs scattered the place with many people to tend over them and take care of them.

Shauna gave the place a once over. "Wait. This is self-care? Doesn't that usually include, like, massages. Or mud maths. Or a hot tub?"

Lottie chuckled. "Hey, I have to go, but someone will come over with, Bruce. I'll see you later!"

"Who is, Bruce?" Shauna called out, but Lottie had already traveled off.

A man walked over holding a little baby goat.

You squealed. "Awww, baby!"

He sneered at you. "What are you doing here? This is a one party therapy only."

"Hey." Shauna snapped. "Fuck you, purple boy."

With a scoff, he tried to hand Shauna the goat, but she backed away. "What are you doing?" She grimaced.

"You have to take care of him. It's the treatment. You will learn about all the ways in which taking care of Bruce rewards you, and the way in which he brings out sacrifices within you." The guy rattled off, almost reading from a script.

"No." Shauna shook her head. "No way."

You grabbed the baby goat away from the purple man. "I'll take him, then."

"He's not for you." The man shouted.

"Okay, listen you oompa loompa, freak." Shauna got up close to him. "Leave my girlfriend alone. She is the only one here who is going to actively care about that goat. I will find a way to fuck it up."

With a childlike level of attitude, the guy took off and stomped out of the barn.

"He seems emotionally stable." You commented, patting Bruce on the head.

Shauna sighed in annoyance. "Come on, baby, let's get out of here."

You walked alongside her out of the barn and further up into the woods. "You know, this is kind of fun. I love animals."

"Of course you would think this is fun." She smiled, a tender look in her eyes. "You're so sweet."

You blushed, holding on tighter to Bruce as you climbed your way through brush and trees. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere we can be alone for a little while. I need to get away from those freaks." Shauna replied.

There was a silence for a time as you both trudged along.

"Lottie is for sure a cult leader, right?" You asked.

"Oh absolutely." Shauna agreed.

***

Once there was a good place to sit, Shauna helped you tie Bruce to a tree so that you and her could have some time to yourselves.

You sat down on the dead leaves beneath you, and Shauna followed suit.

"I'm really glad you came." She said. "This would be unbearable without you."

"What? Is it so hard to take care of the little guy for a day?" You joked, snuggling up to her, pointing toward Bruce who was gnawing on a branch.

She smiled down at you, brushing baby hairs off of your face. "I just meant...all of this. This shit with Lottie and the others. I'm just glad you're here."

You lifted your chin up, your lips brushing against hers. She brought her face closer down, her palm wrapping around the nape of your neck to keep your lips close. She kissed you very sweetly, her other hand making its way to your waist.

"Mmm." You moaned into her mouth, smiling into the kiss.

"What?" She whispered, clutching you tight.

"You're so pretty." You shrugged.

With a chuckle she continued to kiss you, her hand tangled in your hair, and her tongue dancing on yours.

Then, out of nowhere, leaves began to crunch. You broke away from Shauna, expecting some kind of wildlife to be quickly encroaching. But alas, it was just Misty.

"Oh, I am so sorry." She gasped. "Was I interrupting something?"

"No." You shook your head.

"Yes." Shauna said emphatically.

Misty scoffed. "Well, okay, then. Shouldn't you be in therapy, anyway?"

"We are." Shauna said.

"Last I checked, getting fresh in the woods was not on that list, okay?" Misty chastised.

"Wait." Your eyebrows furrowed, looking toward the tree that Bruce was supposed to be on. "Where did he go?"

Shauna looked over as well and groaned. "Oh shit, not the goat."

"Well then I guess I'll help you find him." Misty grinned. "Come here goat."

The two of you sat up from the ground.

"Shouldn't you be in therapy, too?" Shauna questioned Misty.

"I would really rather not sit in a dark tank void of any sound, filled with water. That's terrible for my vertigo." She replied.

Very quickly, you found Bruce bleating near a tree. "Oh! Oh thank God."

You ran to him and lifted him into your arms. "All better now."

"Oh good." Shauna clasped her hands together. "Good job, Y/N."

With a proud little smile on your face, Shauna kissed you again, and forgetting the company you were in, gave your rear end a little slap. "Don't let him out of your sight."

You cradled Bruce close to your chest. "Never."

[voiceofsword]

How do ya think Hiiro would have turned out if he had run away *with* Rinne rather than chase after him after? I feel like Rinne definitely would have passed out sooner since he seems like the type to want to make sure his baby brother eats first

I THINK SO TOO, ANON.. putting this under a readmore bc i dont wanna stretch out anyone's dash 🙇

i feel like. overall hiiro would result in being the same person i.e the amagis development isn't... all that different? but they probably would've reached their conflicts somewhat sooner and "resolved" them before actual main story. it's complicated because i don't think rinne would've really been able to confront his brother about a lot of the complexes their hometown drilled into his head because he's so young, like partly i think the reason they were able to be addressed in main story is because of rinne's development as a person (in the city), and hiiro being older and having had alkaloid to back him up in terms of having people around him that love him and give him a modicum of self worth – so, in this case it's more something that bubbles under the surface all the time and is addressed in bursts rather than all at once. if that makes sense?

i completely agree with rinne giving everything up to be sure that hiiro would be happy, safe, and fed. but at the same time, i cant see hiiro sitting there idly while his brother busts his ass doing god knows what – he probably wouldn't be very happy about it. i think he would feel guilty seeing his brother all haggard when he's used to him being regal, and composed. i genuinely think it'd be interesting to think about how this is the beginning of hiiro seeing that he's more than just his brother's advisor. it'd take a Lot of getting used to, and hiiro's really not the type to internalize it and realize that the reason his brother does this is because he loves him – rather, i think he'd be very confused about the whole ordeal. 

when rinne inevitably drops due to exhaustion, hiiro would likely fret and try to find the nearest person to help them, which in any case and because i think rinniki dynamic is integral to rinne's development, would be niki. i also think it's more plausible for 12 year old hiiro to reach out to someone close to his age rather than an adult stranger both bc he's intimidated, and bc it's likely rinne's told him time and time again that he shouldn't interact with adults he doesn't know.

in contrast with rinne's initial calm standoffish demeanor he has when he meets niki in canon i think with hiiro there he'd be a lot more abrasive? because the rinne we know in canon's kind of given up, at that point, so niki's help is welcome although met with a bit of ego. but since he has his brother to care for this time, i think he'd be a lot more wary of niki, and protective of hiiro, even though it's clear all niki wants to do is help. hiiro on the other hand would absolutely be open to niki because he sees him as someone who saved his brother, and doesn't understand why rinne puts up walls. niki is like 3 feet tall and could be swept away by a strong wind so there's literally nothing offensive about him. also hiiro and niki are both similar in terms of how they undermine their self-worth so i think that after that initial threat wears off rinne's pulling his hair out because the two of them can easily point out that they should be kinder to themselves but when it comes to each other they're incredibly dense

the addition of niki really would help with their development in this scenario imo because i feel like with him they'd be forced to talk things out to avoid awkwardness. over time rinne continues to take on odd-jobs but hiiro doesnt like that his brother's taking on all the work and making himself exhausted trying to support all 3 of them. it's likely rinne would explode over little things, like hiiro also trying to take on part-time jobs or taking on a lot of chores to make up for what rinne himself is doing without much regard for himself. obviously rinne wouldnt be angry per se but would be frustrated that his brother's too immersed in the idea that he's STILL less than rinne and thus deserves to shoulder all the work. i can see him walking out of niki's apartment leaving the other two confused, and hiiro very hurt – luckily niki might not be very academically smart but can be emotionally intelligent when he wants to be, so he'd sit down with hiiro and explain what it could be that makes his brother feel that way (probably not with a lot of tact because hes 14 but enough that hiiro is like hm ok that makes sense, and i also think hiiro would blindly follow niki's advice too if he comes to regard him as an older brother figure).

hiiro wouldnt understand initially but he so desperately seeks his brother's reassurance that everything is ok that the second he comes back he immediately asks if what niki says is true. above all else i think hiiro needs for people to point out that the way he's treating himself is wrong for him to realize it, which rinne often avoided doing when he was a young child because it simply didn't click in hiiro’s head. but if other people say it's true, then he's forced to acknowledge that maybe rinne isn't angry at him, but rather, at his impotence in making hiiro see that he's worth more than what he thinks, and when he knows what his brother is upset over, it's 'relatively easy' for him to fix it. maybe. basically niki is their therapist. i feel like their life together would be peppered with instances like this

i dont rly know how to keep this train of thought going but i Did appreciate the ask bc i love any excuse to yap on abt hcs. so thank u

[teaveetamer]

i read through a lot of your analyses and i still can't tell what some of your stances are, but i just wanted to know how much you agree with my own stances on edelgard and dimitri/3H.

3H is obviously not a well thought-out political treatise on the ramifications of war and different styles of political change. it just isn't. it ends far too quickly and is too simplistic to ever be anything similar.

what 3H is incredible at is character writing. this is why i simply don't understand why people "hate" edelgard OR dimitri. neither of these people are saints. they've both done horrific things. but they both portray trauma in such fascinating and complex ways that you rarely see in videogames. the parallels they have and the way they see the world are just so compelling to me that i actually avoid finishing CF/SS/AM because it always leaves me feeling so emotional afterward and sometimes i just want a nice comfort game.

that being said, i do take issue with the way dimitri's arc resolves. i think it's extremely unrealistic how he just "snapped out" of his intense mental problems. as someone who has also struggled with mental health, it's a very slow process and often it feels like one step forward, two steps back. i wish that they had left his recovery a lot more incomplete, or that the game had lasted longer so his recovery felt more organic.

this is why i prefer edelgard purely as a character because i think the way she represses her emotions completely and is slowly corrupted by her inability to trust or love herself is a story that makes a lot more sense to me.

I'm not sure in which respects my stances are unclear, but I'm always happy to clarify if you just ask! Keep in mind that this blog is like three years old at this point so if you go back far enough you'll probably find contradicting things, as my opinions have developed and changed over the years. So if that's the problem just assume the most recent stuff is the most accurate.

I will say that while 3H can have some very good character moments, I also think it's incredibly disappointing in a lot of ways. The plot, writing, and worldbuilding being so messy just doesn't give the characters a good foundation to stand on, so character moments often come across extremely hollow to me.

I could name countless examples but I think the most obvious one that everyone picks up on is Gronder Field. First, we're told that this is extremely sad and difficult for all of the characters involved, despite never or almost never seeing the students from different houses interact with each other at any point during the main story. If you don't recruit then it's entirely possible to go the entire Academy portion of the game without seeing a single cross-house interaction beyond the house leaders.

They all point to the feast they had after the battle of Eagle and Lion in the Academy part, but that happens entirely off screen. It's not even really described beyond "it was fun" and "we were all sitting together". Emblem Claude in Engage gives a better idea of what happened there than 3H ever does. A piece of DLC for a completely different game in the series describes what is supposed to be a key interaction better than the game it was actually from!

And then you actually get there and it's contrived AF. There's literally no reason for the BL and GD to be fighting each other at any point but they all kill each other anyway. There's no fog of war. Characters will even recognize each other before they fight and then continue fighting each other anyways despite having absolutely no reason to?

And then it just ends and we're all told to feel very sad about it, but why should we? It's not earned. These characters don't know each other or care about each other, most of them weren't even on opposite sides. It comes across as feeling dumb and unearned, which makes the characters reacting to it completely 100% straight as if it were this huge but unavoidable tragedy come off as confusing and overwrought.

Edelgard's writing as an entire other can of worms that I've gotten into too many times to count, so I'll try to keep this short.

I'll preface this by saying I don't have a problem with people liking or relating to Edelgard in any way. Also, just because something has problems doesn't mean you can't have found meaning in it. I can tell you really enjoy the character anon, and that's great! I wouldn't want to take that away from you.

Buuuuuut since I'm giving my opinion here... I don't agree with her being a well written depiction of trauma. I feel like, especially now, the fandom tends to engage with the Edelgard we all wanted instead of the one we actually got.

Again I'll use a specific example (well actually two) to illustrate my point.

It's hard to take her trauma seriously when it's immediately undercut by her doodling pictures of her crush, getting embarrassed about it, and getting teased. This happens twice. They do this twice! Once in the explore section immediately after Ladislava and Randolph literally die right in front of her, and once after you could have potentially killed Claude and she's talking about being locked in a fucking dungeon!

Like it blows my mind that more people don't talk about this, especially the latter example. You have just potentially killed someone. She's sitting there. Talking about being locked in a dungeon, tortured, and experimented on. And then your character's reaction is to tease her for doodling a picture of you. And they did this two times, so it's not like it was an accident!

So like how am I supposed to read this, exactly? Either the entire scene is bunk and you're not really meant to take the trauma portion seriously, it's all just a big joke, or... or you're supposed to find teasing someone going through a genuine trauma response endearing and enjoyable..? It's just. I've been looking at this scene and the numerous other Edelgard scenes like it and I just don't get there. I don't understand how to read this in a way that isn't incredibly belittling or sexist or SEVERELY undercutting what should be a serious character moment.

But people want it to be this serious, well-written character moment for her. I don't blame anyone for that, because that's what I would have wanted too! But it's just... it's so crazy disrespectful on every level, to treat a female character's trauma like it's a funny quirk or an opportunity to flirt/tease? I can damn well guarantee that no male character would be treated with that amount of disrespect, and we know that because Dimitri exists and at no point is his trauma ever played for a joke or undercut like this! It's not perfectly written, but it's written with respect to the subject and the character.

There's an absurd degree of sexism baked into the writing of 3H that just doesn't get addressed by the fandom at large, so I kind of find it frustrating.

And worse, sometimes when you try to engage with that and critique it you're shouted down or treated as if you are the problem, like I somehow spoke the sexism of the game into existence just by pointing it out.

I could go on but I'll cut myself off here

[hskinsprites]

oh, are we sharing tl memories now?

i’ve been waiting for an opportunity to share the kin hell i’ve found myself neck-deep in- apparently one of my tls is some cursed trollstuck au of a different media and that has certainly made it difficult to figure out much of anything, really.

the timeline may or may not have been a descendant au- everyone had canon surnames from what i recall, although i can’t say for certain.

i’m fairly sure there was at least enough trolls to span the full hemospectrum, but i can only remember three: myself, my moirail, and the vantas.

i was an indigo, though i normally went hemoanon on the internet due to technically being a mutant. i was supposed to be culled as a wriggler on account of being hatched with a limb deformity as well as being a runt, but successfully made it to at least seven sweeps i think. i had some sort of prosthetic upper limb(s) though i can’t remember precisely which, but i learned the basics of bioengineering due to having to do upkeep myself. i had glasses (my source had round glasses while the equivalent of my moirail had rectangular ones, but i think they were swapped in this tl?) and an oversized lab coat about the length of nepeta’s coat i think.

my moirail was an olive whom i met due to him fucking up his arms in a flarping accident (i know for sure both of his ended up as prosthetics, which makes my confusing limb situation further strange). i don’t remember very much about his appearance other than the fact he wore tennis shoes, was taller than me, and potentially had white streaks in his hair for one reason or another. we had technically talked on trollian previously but it hadn’t been much more than formalities due to having mutual friends.

the vantas was a strange case due to the fact she wasn’t a mutant but a regular limeblood (obviously still dangerous, but less rare) on top of being one of the nicest people in our group. i remember the least about her, but she was pretty isolated for most of her life (i think we may have bonded over having to hide from most of troll society to avoid getting culled) and rarely spoke to anyone outside of trollian. she took a lot of things personally and had a really strong sense of justice so talking to her was somewhat taxing, but she really was genuinely nice to bond with. i don’t remember anything about her appearance other than she potentially wore a skirt similar to feferi but in green or grey tones?

uh. apologies for rambling, i’ve never really interacted with kin spaces so. this is kind of a lot. but i’ve been a long-time follower of the blog and it’s always felt very safe and comforting so :] yeah. this is kind of a mess my apologies

its super cool how you remember all this stuff. i have a soft spot for noncanon characters (as i kin MULTIPLE of them, which as u can imagine can be .... incredibly isolating haha) so i feel for you and how overwhelming it can be. hey, maybe there are people on here who remember similar stuff as you! that'd be cool wouldn't it? thanks for sharing, maybe i can do a sprite for you some day :)

[scoups4lyfe]

Hebi Anon

Again, reason why I give Taro the perfect moniker isn't Taro's actions (why would I call someone who drives me absolutely raving mad perfect by my own standards?) but Sonoi's interactions

Mr. "We Noto are perfect beings" Sonoi understands Taro so easily because they're so similar. Like understands like. Plus the line "I will make a perfect world filled with those like Taro", Taro is the "perfect human" to the "perfect Noto" which is the logic behind why I give Taro the (derogatory) perfect moniker

And episodes 13, 14 and 15...

Episode 12: "Wow, looks like Taro will finally become a character I can like"

Episode 13: "Wow, I didn't realize it was possible to make me hate Taro EVEN MORE"

Episode 14: "Wow, I didn't realize it was possible for me to hate the writing staff EVEN MORE"

Episode 15: "WOW, I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO HATE BOTH EVEN MORE"

Thanks for the clarification <33.

I think rather than being similar, the reason why (at least from episode 12) that Sonoi is able to understand Momoi so well is actually because Sonoi has spent most if not all of his time trying to understand humanity.

We see this from all the Nouto and since Sonoi is the most experienced, I don't think he's any different in this aspect.

And someone who is used to not understanding something, but attempting to repeatedly, will have more under their belt when it comes to that topic.

(The topic being "I don't get this." )

Momoi told Sonoi "I can't lie. I seem to have hurt people. What do you think?"

If Sonoi was truly *like* Tarou I don't think he'd understand why people lie either. He'd probably agree and be like 'very confusing indeed.'

Instead, he saw deeper into what Tarou was asking.

"What do you think?"

aka 'Have I done something wrong? Is only telling the truth bad even if it hurts people? Isn't lying wrong?'

And Sonoi reassures him, "I like that about you' (You're not wrong/defective because you tell you the truth), "but I think there can be such things as beautiful lies" (However, there might be reasons why telling lies can be good or 'beautiful.)

And then he helped Tarou through understanding the concept.

And I think the reason why Sonoi likes Tarou so much is because Momoi is....different. Most humans are out for themselves. This is a major reason why humans lie to begin with. To protect themselves, or further their own agenda in some way.

Is that the only reason why someone would lie? No. (Obv)

But Tarou doesn't do that. He isn't out for himself. "I don't hit people" told Sonoi essentially "Even if I get hurt, I don't want to hurt others." Which is incredibly selfless.

That's why Sonoi really likes Momoi. And wants to create a world full of people like him, because Momoi isn't a selfish person. He cares more about others than himself, and Sonoi wants to see a world like that instead of a word dominated by selfish, obsessive, and cruel desires/people.

I also don't really see the Nouto as "perfect". To me, being without emotions is in itself something that can be seen as a flaw. And I think that's one of the reasons why they spend so much time trying to understand humanity.

If they were perfect, they wouldn't have to do that, because they would already know. They "Think" of themselves as perfect because they aren't dominated by selfish desires (based on emotions).

And I also see it as an interesting thematic choice that the person that *IS* able to understand/see where Tarou is coming from and help him accordingly is the enemy.

Once again, it shows that one of the hardest things to do is understand. (and not for lack of trying.)

Momoi's teammates are trying to understand him, just as Momoi is trying to understand them. They just don't have the experience or parameters to be like "ah. I see where you're coming from." But since Sonoi is what I'd call "neutral territory" I think he has it easier when it comes to seeing both sides, and that's why he's so easily able to connect with Momoi.

I'll see what episodes 13-15 have in store, and am excited to hear your thoughts/interpretation. I'll share what I think as we go along as well.

[spidersays]

Beguiled 2022 recap

I don’t know how other people do these, and I don’t want to do a lot of research before I just start writing this. This is half con-recap, and half me gushing about @arihi.

Beguiled was incredibly nerve-wracking for me going in. I was less worried about Covid than others for a combination of reasons - the primary being that I am exposed to the virus every day due to work. It’s just difficult keeping an appropriate level of anxiety with the kind of life I live. The nerve-wracking part was that I was going on a trip with Ari for the first time. We’ve had a lot of time alone, but never as much as a whole weekend together. And never outside of Richmond, really. Most of that is due to the timing of our relationship - We’ve been together for a little over two and a half years, but most of that has been pandemic time, so we’ve had very little ability for travel.

We arrived to the hotel late on Thursday, and we quickly learned that the layout of the hotel is a confusion induction. Ari and I got a room on the second floor, so we quickly went to the elevators to find that there wasn’t a second floor? got a rapid introduction to SO many different people. I honestly can’t remember who I was talking to, but Ari made sure I remembered who I met by giving me a quiz while we were unpacking.

Room parties were the con for me - I only attended two classes, and only half of each of them (they were taking place at the same time). I have a small aversion to going to classes, I don’t tend to learn well from classes presented at cons, and I tend to play a little harder than get taught at a lot of classes, and come away feeling a little chided. Nothing the presenters have done wrong - classes are just aimed at a different audience than I am part of.

We had a room party in my room on both Thursday and Sunday night, and both were really fun. Thursday I was a little more tired, so I faded into the background quite a bit more, but on Sunday I managed to become much more myself for a while. I talked about hypnohorny horror movies, crafty/maker stuff, and games that hypnotize you (which I might make some content about here). I have a ton of tiny little flashy LEDs that a friend left in my room, so I might see if I can make a novelty induction toy to enact an induction she was talking about developing using flashy jelly rings.

Friday was a private night with me and Ari - they can elaborate if they would like - so I don’t have much from that night. We did do impact in the dungeon - that was fun! I have pictures from that.

Saturday was an absolute blur to me, because I didn’t eat anything all day. The restriction of food was in preparation for a scene that night (which was a near-religious experience) but it turns out that I ALSO have a thing for food being withheld from me. So that’s a fun new thing. Afterwards, I hung around in a room with some of Ari’s friends, which reminded me that I am a hypnokinkster. Good to feel, as I’ve honestly been feeling a pretty alienated from the community.

Speaking of alienation, there were a few things that didn’t go well. I don’t want them to overshadow the rest of the con, because it genuinely was the best convention I’ve ever attended.

It is genuinely baffling to me that the theming of the con was based around a children’s television show. Not only was it confusing to find where a class was if you didn’t know anything about the show, but it also seems pretty politically fraught. Namely - with the current political climate labeling transfem people as ‘groomers’, had any straight vanilla person gotten a peek behind the curtain (which almost happened!) it would not have been a good look.

I (and several acquaintances) was also implied to be a consent violator by a concom member as a joke. So that’s not great.

I also had an interaction with a congoer that was a little too pushy for me, but I am also a little glad for the experience? I was being treated (pushed, seduced? I have complicated feelings) in a way that sent me into a complicated panic spiral. At no point did anything happen that I would feel needs to be reported to the consent team, but it did set off my fight or flight. After a lot of introspection and discussion with my friends, I came to the conclusion that I was simply being treated the way women are treated in kink spaces.

That was interesting

I had a bunch of meals with a ton of different people - so many I don’t feel like I can name names without this post just being a big long list of names, so I’ll avoid that and leave this here. I feel like I was given the recipe to have a good con by Ari, and I really am looking forward to the next one.

[mediagirl4]

How online cultures differ on each platform

Have you ever heard of the term online culture? I personally have heard the word “culture” tossed around several times but never really understood what people were talking about. “Culture” is usually referring to where a person comes from and what has been passed down from generations. But online culture is something very different; it is about who you are and what you believe in depending on what platform you are using. 

I know this might seem confusing to some but think about it differently. For example, I use Instagram to see pictures of friends and family and I use TikTok to see funny videos of people I both know and do not know. Instagram and Twitter bring me two totally different types of entertainment experiences. I know what to expect on my timeline on Instagram, such as seeing what my friends are up to/ what they are doing through nice pictures. I like the photo and sometimes leave a comment saying “beautiful,’ or “so cute.” This is something I never do on TikTok because the platform is not as personal for me. On TikTok, I simply scroll through trying to find humorous videos that I save in order to get a good laugh in the future. 

It is almost like my behavior changes depending on each platform I use. This is not a bad thing; it is okay to have different platforms that each serve a different and specific use to me. But, it is extremely interesting that we as users adapt to different ways of behaving and interacting depending on what platform we are using. I bet you have never even deeply thought about your behavior or reason for using each platform, but it does make up a part of who we are.

We also have to think about our reactions to certain things online depending on what we are seeing and who is involved. Let’s look at, being “poked” on Facebook as an example. If my best friend sends me a poke, I almost immediately understand that it is a joke and means nothing. If someone not very close to me sends me a poke, I start to question it. I might think to myself “why did they just do that?” Or “what is that supposed to mean?” This causes me to overthink an incredibly small action because I do not know the intention behind it. 

Different groups of people grow up with different online cultures. For me, I started using media when YouTube videos were the number one thing people talked about. While YouTube is still an extremely popular platform, the culture on there is not the same. Nowadays YouTube has high-quality videos of influencers promoting something or the occasional day in my life video. When I was younger, it was mostly partially edited videos that provided any form of entertainment. My friends and I used to make stupid videos on YouTube because that is what everyone else was doing. Today, I would not be publishing those same videos. 

It all depends on what platform you are using and what is the norm at the time you are using it. People tend to create content that fits the mood of the platform, and this greatly differs from platform to platform. Next time you decide to open your phone and use some sort of media, think about what mood each platform puts you in and what you are looking for on each platform.

Jones, Rodney H., and Christoph A. Hafner. Understanding Digital Literacies: A Practical Introduction. Routledge, 2021. 

[gilesxiueason]

'Made in....Earth' - Rami Beracha

Rami Beracha has started this blog to explore the business of venture capital. Rami is the Co-Founder of Sosa. Rami Beracha The issue of miscommunication is very serious. It's a danger zone that is our own fault. It begins seconds after our first interaction with someone and culminates in an incredible explosion... Our biggest error is always believing that there is complete alignment in expectations on both sides. We don't want to get inside the thoughts of our partner to figure the expectations he has. One thing is certain that the other party doesn't waste any chance to expand this gap . We are not alerted by anyone. רמי ברכה There are many causes for confusion, and many of them are related to our personality. People with square personalities are more likely to miscommunicate than liberal individuals, and aggressive personalities may have difficulty matching their expectations to the expectations of passive people. This is simple to spot - everyone knows squared from liberal and passive from aggressive. What if they were totally different? Think of the personality gap. There is no one who has noticed it or warned anyone else about it, studied it...NOT be a FRAUD! ! רמי ברכה Ladies and gentlemen! I'd like to introduce you to a brand new personality one that we all share. The characters of the FULL CIRCLE are different from the HALF CLIRCLE personalities. ! Note: A behavioral guideline - when you read the next analysis, attempt to determine which personality describe you best as well as attempt to determine who your partner in life is. You may be surprised to find that your personalities are different. According to Bono sang, "we are one, however, we're not the exact same." This is a positive sign since it could mean that you've discovered the cause of many of your divergences. If however, you're identical in your appearance, then I'm sorry that I'm unable to provide a reason for the reason why your relationships appear so terrible. https://jerusalem.mynet.co.il/good_to_know/article/H1A1soP2w Let's get going... Rami Beracha There are two kinds of human beings human beings. Some people are 'full-circle', which is a self-contained person who feels completely at home being all by him. He does need partners, yes, he wants a partner, and yes he is in constant search for the right partner. Absolutely! It's all true ... But, he can't live without his dream partner until he finds one. When he has found one, he wishes to live his life, in a relationship with his - hopefully full circle - of friends. Rami Beracha The other group is the "half-acircle" kind of people. They'll never let go of the idea once they've found their unhappy companion. To create a happy circle, they almost integrate with the victims... But do not let them go through the absurdity of living side-by-side! The Halves will not compromise on anything less than staring at each other from a distance of zero for the rest of their lives. It is impossible for them to be more connected than that. The decision to let go is an ordinary occurrence. The full circle is likely to release the partner with whom they've lost chemistry. The half-circle's on the other hand redefine the concept of 'having an chemistry' with their partner to be: 'I'm holding on to this B..ST..RD. Until I can replace him in a proper manner'. Imagine to yourself the unbelievable dance happening in the moment two "half-a-circle" and the "full-circle" are trying to make one each other his partner, not being conscious of their distinct geometries. The Half takes two steps forward and over the comfortable zone of the Full who finds this sudden entry of his personal space bit too intimidating. So he fixes this zone-invasion-problem by making a gentle step backward. The problem is that he made this move by taking the Half out of his comfort zone . While the Half thinks that the Full made an innocent mistake and took another step forward, the Half begins to become irritated and takes another step in the opposite direction.. The Full.. Half.. and the Half are all pissed off. They aren't sure why, but they aren't using the correct terminology and can't describe it. They go to the wrong place. If only they knew that one half is Half and the other one is Full, it could have saved their lives ... Although this essay is not intended to be a comprehensive list of guidelines, there are steps you could take. 1. Learn who you are 2. Find out who you are with https://www.hamichlol.org.il/רמי_ברכה 3. Realize there is a difference. https://milog.co.il/רמי_ברכה 3. Be aware of the differences! https://www.bizportal.co.il/list/tags/18904 One conclusion is: Live and let live.

[shipsandlattes]

So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already. 

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long. 

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold. 

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean​ and @inacatastrophicmind​! 

[inadaydream99]

When They See You With Another Guy ~ with The Boyz

Requested by anon

A/N- Hi, thanks for requesting! This has taken ages for me to write but I hope you enjoy! ☺️

Sangyeon

Sangyeon had been minding his own business, walking along the street, when his eyes landed on you stood talking with a guy he’d never seen before

It wasn’t that he was jealous, but he doesn’t like the fact that the wide smile on your face is because of someone other than him

He’s confused… should he go over to you or just keep walking and talk to you about it later???

But he decides it’s best to wait until he has a chance to talk to you properly. Though that doesn’t mean he’s not replaying the scene over in his head all day

You burst into laughter upon hearing Sangyeon’s question. It really does make you feel amused that he’d been so obviously concerned about it all day

“That was my friends boyfriend. We’d just so happened to bump into each other in the street and had a little catch up, that’s all.” You clear things up instantly

Sangyeon’s instantly chuckles, his hand awkwardly scratching his neck until you reach out and hold it, intwining your fingers together

Jacob

Being an incredibly rational person, it’s probably expected that seeing you with another guy wouldn’t bother Jacob much

Except, it really really does…

There’s this underlying protectiveness within him that he only has for his members and his s/o

So when he sees that you are close to another guy, its almost shocking how mad it makes him

Of course, Jacob is mature enough to manage his emotions when in public situations. But the instant you’re alone, it’s a completely different story

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?” Jacob controls the conversation, staring you directly in the eyes as a seriousness encompasses you both

“He’s just a friend from work, more of an acquaintance really.” You reassure, placing a gentle hand onto his arm in an attempt to calm his tense posture

“How come you didn’t introduce me then. You always introduce me…” Jacob remains firm, a jealous tinge emerging through his tone

You can tell it’s taking a lot for him to hold his emotions in this moment. Although, his anger isn’t aimed towards you, but your handsome colleague

“Truthfully.” You emit a deep breath. “He’s a huge fan of yours and when I offered to introduce you he said he was too nervous.”

Upon hearing this confession, a huge grin explodes onto Jacob’s face

He’s relieved, the soft laugh you love so much making an appearance as he pulls you into his arms and presses a loving kiss atop your head

Younghoon

Younghoon had been acting off all night, everyone had noticed it, but no one was really sure why he looked so pissed

It wasn’t until you’d managed to get him alone that you were able to fully understand, and honestly, you weren’t too impressed by his reason

“So I’m not allowed to talk to any guys.” You defensively sass, arms folded across your chest to close yourself off from your childish boyfriend

“No, I’m not saying that. I just don’t like it when guys get to friendly with you.” Younghoon grumbles moodily

“So you don’t trust me, that’s what you’re saying?” You sarcastically laugh, it’s really hard to believe he’s acting this way over such an insignificant thing

The ‘thing’ in question isn’t insignificant to Younghoon, however. Especially when you seemed so much happier hanging out with your guy friend than him

“Of course I trust you, it’s just him I don’t trust!” Younghoon completely looses his cool, throwing his arms up in frustration

Hearing his blatant jealousy leaves you at a loss for words, so you simply shake your head in disappointment, walking away from Younghoon before one of you says something you’ll regret

Hyunjae

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you laughing at the guys words… was he really that funny?

Jaehyun isn’t sure, after all, he’s not a part of the conversation

His bottom lip instantly juts out into a pout as he continues to watch your interaction. I mean, what did he do for you to treat him like this?

“What’s the sulky face for?” You chuckle as soon as you approach him, unaware of how upset you’ve made him

“Your friend seems like a funny guy.” He avoids your question, taking a sip of his drink to take away the sour taste left in his mouth

You raise your brows at your boyfriends words. It’s not your fault he’s jealous, but either way, you aren’t about to stir up an argument

“I mean, I’ve met funnier…” you trail off, failing to hide the teasing smirk that twinges at the corner of your lips

“Like who?” Hyunjae’s eyes go wide at your statement, he’d clearly missed what you were insinuating

“You’re so cute.” Is all you respond with, chuckling in amusement at how he’s being so endearingly obvious with his emotions

And it seems as though it does the trick, Hyunjae finally smiling once again as you enjoy each others company

Juyeon

Juyeon doesn’t want to make something out of nothing, but when you spend the morning rushing around getting ready instead of paying attention to him, it hurts him a little

Instead of verbalising his emotions, he decides to catch your attention in another way

Purposefully strolling out of your room and into the living space of your apartment in only his pants, Juyeon stretches his arms out and rolls his head back, sighing loudly to catch your attention

“Ju, have you seen my phone?” You whiz past him without a second glance

“It’s right here, on the table.” He calls out, lounging back onto the sofa as casually as he can (except it’s in no way casual)

“Thank y-” your words cut off as soon as you take him in, mouth agape as your mind goes empty of all thoughts, well except one…

“Have a nice time today and I’ll see you for dinner.” Juyeon beams at you.

However desperately he wants to make you decide to stay with him instead of meeting your guy friend, he would never admit it out loud

“Can I have a kiss goodbye?” You timidly ask, almost as if you haven’t asked him that before

Juyeon snickers as he stands up and pulls you into him, one hand falling delicately onto your waist and the other caressing your cheek

You complain when he only leaves a simple peck on your lips, eager for more

Juyeon’s just happy to know you are no longer in a rush to leave, and that’s enough to make him feel content for the rest of the day until you come back home to him

Kevin

Kevin wouldn’t really mind seeing you hanging out with guy friends, just as long as you are open with him about it

He’s not the type to get jealous often, and even then it’s only to tease you

“You know, we haven’t spend much time together lately.” He pouts after hearing that you’re heading out to see a male friend of yours

It’s the first day in a long time that Kevin has some time off and he was really hoping you would be around to share it with him

“Don’t make me feel worse about it, I’ve had this arranged for ages…” you sigh, accepting his hand as you take a moment to come up with a compromise

“You know you could just make it clear that you’re gonna hang out with your boyfriend.” Kevin softly suggests, his tone insinuating the slight bitterness he’s been trying to cover up

“Kevin…” you whine.

His laughter only makes you roll your eyes as you realise he’s been messing with you. So you playfully shove him away when he attempts to pull you into a hug

Chanhee

Is Chanhee bothered to see you spending so much time with another guy at the company party? On the outside it’s a firm no, but inside he’s not pleased

It’s not your fault that you’d made friends with the staff, and that the closest friend was a male staff

Honestly, every part of Chanhee wants to sassily stroll over to you and your friend and make it very clear that you have a boyfriend

But he’s hesitant, it’s really taken a blow to his confidence…

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” You perch on the chair beside your solemn looking boyfriend. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m… just feeling a little under the weather.” Chanhee fibs. He doesn’t like lying to you, but deep down he knows he’d feel much worst making you feel bad for spending time with friends

“Do you want to go home?” You offer, a soft smile on your face to reciprocate your boyfriends when he nods, accepting your hand and intertwining your fingers together as you make your way out of the party

Changmin

You feel an arm wrap around your waist, tugging you closer into the person beside you, a light gasp escaping your lips from the unexpected presence of your boyfriend

Changmin’s eyes are fiercely trained on the guy stood opposite you, baring his gritted teeth as he boldly interrupts your conversation

“…this is my boyfriend Changmin…” you hesitate, introducing him in a feeble attempt to break the tense silence

“And who are you?” Changmin spits, impatience radiating off of him as the stranger takes a second to comprehend the simple question

“Minnie-” Changmin’s head snaps to you, your sentence falling short just from his enraged stare

“I asked him. Who. Are. You.” His tone is sharp, making it evermore clear that he needs an answer instantly.

“I’m (Y/N)’s cousin.”

“Oh.” Changmin’s shoulders slump… he feels stupid

And that’s when you take the opportunity to apologise to your cousin on Changmin’s behalf, before excusing you both

“I’m so sorry-” Changmin’s doe eyes plead at you. “I just get too ahead of myself sometimes.”

“It’s ok, you didn’t mean any harm.” You comfort, accepting the fact that Changmin is just very territorial over you

And later on, Changmin makes the effort to make amends with your cousin himself

Haknyeon

One thing that Haknyeon absolutely adores is the way you look at him as though he’s the only person you see, your eyes glimmering with complete admiration at anything and everything he does

So when he thinks that you are giving another guy a very similar look, it makes him feel a way he’s never felt before

“Yeah, I know what I saw. Don’t be stupid.” Haknyeon continues to walk away from you, his tone cold as he refuses to even spare you a glance

“But I really don’t know what I’ve done?” You chase after him, finally catching up when he has to stop to unlock the front door

“Oh come on! You were practically undressing him with your eyes!” He finally turns to you, waiting for you to come back at him with a defensive comment

Except you don’t, you just gawk at him in disbelief

“If you really believe that I’d even flirt with the idea of having eyes for anyone other than you, then why are we together?” You break the silence, your voice barely audible but leaving an echo in Haknyeon’s mind as he speechlessly watches you walk away

Sunwoo

He acts on his emotions first, rationality coming in second

So when he sees you with a guy he’d never encountered before, he feels hurt and betrayed

“I don’t get it Sunwoo, why are you so mad at me?” You frustratedly brush your hand through your hair, repeating the question for the thousandth time that evening

Sunwoo simply continues to ignore you, choosing to focus all his attention onto the tv as he grabs the remote and it flicks onto some random channel

His frown deepens when you move to block his view of the tv, pleading at him as best as you can

“Instead of annoying me why don’t you go back to that guy you were falling all over earlier.” Sunwoo finally speaks, his harsh tone and bitter words making your mouth go dry, chest tight as you feel your heart sink to your stomach. Is this really what he thinks?

“Sorry what?” You question back, finding it hard to believe you’ve heard him correctly

Seeing the pure horror on your face from his accusation makes Sunwoo feel instant regret

“That was my best friends brother, you know the one I’ve known since I was a baby?” You defensively explain

You watch as Sunwoo’s eyes widen in realisation, his face morphing through multiple emotions before it finally fixes into one of shame

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). How could I have been so stupid.” He stands from the sofa, closing the distance that had been created between you during your disagreement

He watches cautiously as his hand reaches out to take yours, letting out a breath of relief when you don’t resist as he intertwines your fingers together

“It’s ok, it’s and easy misunderstanding.” You meekly smile at him. “Just ask me next time, instead of getting all jealous about it.”

“I promise.” You chuckle as Sunwoo rolls his eyes, before pulling you into his embrace

Eric

“(Y/N), there you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Eric playfully scolds you through a wide smile, his heart filling with pride when you giggle at him

He’d wanted to seem casual in his approach to you, fully intending on making it known to your colleague that you are happily taken

“Nice to see you again Eric.” Your colleague nods, holding his hand out for Eric to shake, which Eric begrudgingly accepts

You don’t notice the forced smiles between the two, staying civil for the sake of appearances even though they both share the same distaste for one another

“You too.” Eric mumbles, turning his attention onto you, the sole reason for his endurance of being accommodating towards such an unpleasant guy (in his opinion anyway)

“We really should get going now, it’s already past when we agreed we should leave.” Eric affectionately reminds you, leaning down to press a light kiss to your forehead in the process

“You could stay with me if you don’t want to leave yet. I’ll take care of you.” Your colleague speaks up the second you let out a light “oh” in realisation of the time

This proposition, however, makes Eric tense instantly, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Actually I’m ready to go, just need to say goodbye to my boss.” You delicately place your hand on Eric’s arm as a way of comfort, before slipping away to say your goodbyes

Eric simply sends a taunting smirk towards your colleague, his look speaking a thousand words, before sauntering away

[fanficshiddles]

My Sweet Rose, Chapter 1

From the imagine on imagine-Loki here.

Summary: Rosie got a job working at The Avengers tower with her cousin, Pepper. She’s only been there a week when Loki comes live there, to make up for his past deeds in New York. But this brings a lot of problems for Rosie.

Loki was her Daddy Dom. Who vanished one day without a word, leaving her completely broken and lost.

Note: Daddy/little dynamic & Flashbacks will be in Bold. I’m not sure how long this story will be, I’m thinking no more than 5 chapters though. But I saw the imagine and omg I love it, had to do something with it. Haven’t written anymore of it yet but just HAD to share the first chapter so far, oops! lol. 

-

Rosie had been working and living in the Avengers tower for a week now, it was going really well. And it was helping to keep her mind occupied, getting her back on her feet after such a rough year.

She was a PA for Stark, and the other Avengers if they needed anything too. It was helping her cousin, Pepper out a lot. As Stark was very demanding nowadays and the others were becoming that way too.

It was also good for Rosie. She’d had a really tough year. She met someone a few years ago in a BDSM club, it had been her first time there after spending months building up the courage to go. She was a little, and had been wanting to find someone that she could feel safe with to explore that side of her.

She met a man, who was charming and handsome. Kind, funny. They fell in love, or so she thought anyway. He was the perfect Daddy Dom for her, teaching her everything and looking after her. She adored and loved him so much. Which is why when one day he just vanished, it was all the harder for her.

He just never returned after saying he had to go home to visit his family, who lived in Iceland apparently. But he did that regularly and always returned to her. But not that time. To say she was heartbroken when there was not even a call or a text from him explaining why was an understatement.

His name was Loki. And it became clear what happened a few months later after his disappearance, she saw him on the news. Loki, the God Of Mischief, was trying to take over the world. She couldn’t believe it and thought she was dreaming when she realised it had was her Loki. He looked different in the heavy armour, he looked scary.

But she thought no wonder he left her, he was a God and a Prince after all. What would he have wanted with her in the first place anyway?

She had tried a couple of times to date someone else, but never made it past the first date. As they just… weren’t him. No matter how often she tried to just forget about him. It was difficult.

She’d fallen into a downward spiral, not even able to go to work. So she had lost her job and was on benefits for a while. She became really anxious and nervous.

But here, in the tower, she was trying to turn herself around again. It had been one man, even if he had been her first true love, in her heart anyway. She knew she would heal, in time. Even if it had been over a year.

Rosie had been so engrossed in sorting out some paperwork for Tony that she never noticed the newcomer coming into the kitchen. She barely even registered Thor introducing her to him. ‘This is Rosie, our PA, she’s new here.’

Not until she heard an all too familiar voice responding that sent shivers down her spine and sent her heart racing.

‘Rosie… My sweet Rose?’

There was only one person who had ever called her that.

Slowly she looked up, eyes widening, standing before her was Loki.

‘Oh my sweet Rose, you’ve done Daddy so proud.’ Loki purred gently as he cradled her in his lap.

She felt so safe and secure, curled up against him as he wrapped a blanket around her naked body. Knowing how cold she always got after they’d played together quite so intensely.

Loki rocked her back and fore softly as he ran his fingers through her hair, soothing her. She was trembling a bit after her orgasms, Loki had pushed her almost past her limit, but he knew. He always knew when to stop at the right time.

He was an intense Daddy, and could be really strict at times. But he was fair and ever so kind. He had his goofy moments and was extremely playful too, which she loved. He was never angry with her, always calm and collected. Even when she misbehaved, not that that happened often.

She clung to his shirt so tightly, never wanting to let go. Loki had to carefully remove her hand from his shirt just so he could change them into a different position, getting them both under the blanket so he could have her snuggled up next to him. He knew she would fall asleep soon.

‘Daddy.’ She whispered quietly, sounding so vulnerable.

‘Yes, my little one?’ Loki asked, engulfing her small hand in his large one.

‘Can you sing to me?’

Loki smiled. ‘Of course, my sweetling.’

He began singing to her in Asgardian, but he had told her before it was Icelandic. She had no reason not to believe him, especially since he told her he’d grown up there with his parents.

But he had a beautiful voice, she always loved to hear him sing.

She felt so loved as he she drifted off to sleep to the sound of his voice. She faintly remembered a gentle kiss on her forehead just before she fell asleep.

Thor was confused at their interaction, especially as Rosie said nothing at first. Just stared at Loki in utter disbelief.

‘No…’ She shook her head and took a step backwards. ‘You… You don’t get to call me that anymore.’ She said quietly, her voice trembling as tears came to her eyes.

‘Rosie? What’s wrong, did he hurt you?’ Clint asked upon seeing the reaction.

Rosie grabbed the pile of paperwork off the table beside her and she ran off out of the kitchen, with tears falling down her face.

Clint turned to Loki. ‘You’ve got some explaining to do.’ He snapped at him.

‘I have nothing to explain to you, Hawk.’ Loki snarled.

Natasha and Pepper saw Rosie running out of the kitchen in floods of tears, they ran after her into her room. Natasha managed to grab the door before it closed on them.

‘Rosie? Rosie, what’s wrong?’ They both asked as they rushed in to her.

Rosie threw the papers on her bed and she started pacing back and fore, shaking and crying with her arms wrapped around herself. Pepper grabbed her and pulled her down to sit on the bed.

‘Rosie, please speak to us.’ She pleaded with her cousin as Natasha sat at the other side of her.

‘It… It’s him…’ She sobbed.

‘Who? Loki? Did he scare you? I told him not to be an asshole to anyone.’ Natasha said angrily.

‘He… He’s the one. Who I dated before.’ She blurted out, making Pepper and Natasha go silent in shock.

‘But… how?’ Pepper asked.

‘I met him one night in a club. And we dated for eleven months. I was in love with him, utterly and completely. I thought he was with me too. But then he just vanished and never came back one day. Then a few months later, I saw him on the TV… I didn’t tell anyone it was him, because I thought no one would believe me anyway. And what did it matter? It wouldn’t change anything.’ Rosie blurted out between crying.

‘Oh, Rosie. I wish you had told me.’ Pepper pulled her into a hug and cradled her head against her. ‘It’s ok, shhh, shhh. It’s going to be ok.’

Natasha rubbed her back softly. ‘If we had known, we would have warned you he was coming here. I’m so sorry.’

Rosie shook her head and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. ‘No… It’s my fault, I should have told you. I just… it’s a shock to see him face to face.’

Natasha and Pepper nodded in understanding.

They stayed with her for a little while, then when she told them she was ok and was going to take a shower before bed, they left her to it.

But it ended up being the longest shower ever. She kept thinking about Loki and what they had together before.

Kept thinking of when they first met…

Rosie was super nervous when she walked into the BDSM club. But after months of talking herself into it, she finally had the courage to do it.

She didn’t dare tell any of her friends what she was into or what she was doing, perhaps foolish in a way as no one knew where she was. And she was on her own. But she was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Her friends wouldn’t understand.

She relaxed a tiny bit once she was there, noticing other people on their own as well. Getting a few drinks down her helped with her nerves too.

Some of the people she spoke to briefly were really nice. She met a lovely couple at the bar who asked if it was her first time there. They told her if she needed anything to feel free to ask them, not to be shy. That everyone there was really nice and friendly.

There were various demos on that she watched, there was a lot more to some scenes than met the eye. It really made her realise how on sites such as Fetlife and others, it was easy to get sucked into the wanna-be-Dom’s who likely had no idea what they were doing. Or how much safety came into it all.

‘Excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you but I was wondering if you’d like to join me for a drink?’ A beautiful voice came from beside her when one of the demos on aftercare just finished.

Rosie turned and her breath was taken from her as she gazed up at an incredibly tall and handsome man.

‘I… I… Yeah, I would like that, thank you.’ Rosie stammered out, nodding over enthusiastically.

He grinned, showing off his pearly white teeth as he put his hand out towards her. ‘My name is Loki.’ He introduced.

‘I’m Rosie.’ She smiled up at him and put her hand into his. That’s when she noticed his gorgeous hands, so big and he had such long fingers. She blushed hard when he raised her hand up and he kissed the back of it, making her skin tingle like crazy.

‘Pleasure to meet you, Rosie.’ He said charmingly.

Loki gave her his arm and led her over to a free table near the bar. She was really nervous, and Loki could tell. But he soon had her at ease, just chatting away to her calmly and making her laugh almost straight away. She slowly began to relax in his presence.

‘Is this your first time here?’ He asked after buying them both another drink.

‘Is it that obvious?’ She cringed, making him chuckle.

‘Kind of. You did look a bit like a deer in the headlights. But that’s normal for first timers.’ Loki winked at her.

‘So, I’m guessing that means you’ve been here before?’

‘It does.’ He nodded. ‘Not often, it’s probably my fourth visit. Mainly just trying to meet new people, meet anyone that may potentially be interested in a Daddy Dom.’

Rosie’s eyes widened and she suddenly fell shy again as she looked down at her glass and swallowed hard. Loki raised an eyebrow, instantly realising that she was a little. He suspected she was a sub, but hadn’t been sure about the little aspect or not.

Loki leaned forward over the table towards her a little more. ‘Let me take a quick stab in the dark here… But I am presuming that you are a little?’

Her mouth opened and closed again. Then she just opted for nodding in response instead of trusting her voice to actually work.

Loki smiled softly. ‘Nothing to be shy about, sweetheart. That’s why lots of people come to these clubs, to meet their person.’

‘I… I guess so.’ She agreed.

They continued to talk for over an hour, not much about BDSM which Rosie found quite pleasant. He didn’t seem to want to jump straight in so quickly, which in turn made her trust him more and relax.

At the end of the night, Loki handed over a small card with his number on it. ‘There’s absolutely no pressure at all. But I’ve really enjoyed my night with you, Rosie. I would love to take you out on a date, perhaps out for lunch Saturday? But there’s no pressure, I don’t need an answer right now. Just text or call me to let me know. But if I don’t hear from you, that’s ok too. I totally understand.’

Rosie’s heart was racing. Could he get any more considerate? He wasn’t pressuring her at all, not asking for her number. Not even expecting her to contact him if she didn’t want to go on a date with him. Not even needing an answer straight away, what a gentleman.

Loki walked her outside the club and hailed a taxi for her, he even paid in advance for her, not taking no for an answer.

‘I just want to make sure I know you’ll get home safely. And I can’t help it, it’s the protective Daddy in me.’ He shrugged and chuckled, making her giggle shyly.

‘Thank you, Loki.’ She smiled widely at him as she got into the taxi and he closed the door for her once she was in.

He waved her off and she couldn’t stop smiling the whole way home.

Of course, she did text him the following morning to say she would love nothing more than to go on a date with him on Saturday. If that was still what he wanted, too.

Loki replied within a minute, with a time and a place for their first date.

-

‘How DARE you!’ Pepper roared at Loki and launched for him, slapping him across the face. It barely made him flinch, but he clenched his jaw as he glared at her.

Everyone was surprised at Pepper’s outburst.

‘Woah, what did he do?’ Bruce asked.

‘HE is the one that broke my cousin’s heart. She was head over heels in love with you, asshole. Then you just disappeared on her, left her alone without even an explanation. No note, nothing.’ She snarled at him.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Not that it’s any of your business, but I did what was right. To protect her. She was better off without me.’

‘You did NOT do what was right. You have no idea what you’ve put her through this past year, how heartbroken she was. Still is!’ Pepper screeched.

Loki faltered. ‘Still is? Did she not find another, she’s a beautiful, incredible woman. How could she not find ano’

‘You are such a fucking idiot!’ Pepper screeched angrily and so wanted to slap him again, but she knew it was pointless.

The guys around him all put their face into their hands.

‘What?’ Loki asked, looking around.

‘That’s a low blow, man. Not even leaving her a note.’ Said Tony.

‘I… I thought I was doing the right thing.’ Loki said, looking at Thor.

Thor nodded. ‘I did not realise that your Rose was this Rosie… But yes, Loki thought he was doing right by her. He was in love with her, adored her. Never shut up about her. But when he discovered his true heritage on a short visit home, he decided not to go back to her. In fear of hurting her.’ Thor explained.

Pepper ran her hands down her face.

‘Well, you failed on that. You probably hurt her more by not at least saying you were over. You have no idea what she’s been through this last year.’ Pepper shook her head in disgust at Loki.

The team all murmured between them and left the room, leaving Loki with Thor.

For the first time in a long time, Thor saw his real brother back. He saw true emotion on his face again, sorrow and guilt.

‘I… I did not mean to hurt her.’ Loki said, still a bit confused. ‘I loved her, Thor… I do love her. I never stopped thinking about her, never loved another.’ He whispered.

Thor sighed and walked over to him, patting his shoulder. ‘I know, brother. I know.’

Loki thought back to the first time she had called him Daddy. How much it made his heart happy that she trusted and wanted him so much…

Rosie and Loki were snuggling on the sofa together, watching some cartoons that she loved. Loki wasn’t overly fond of them, but it made her happy so he always obliged. He was just happy to have her on his lap, comfortable and relaxed in his arms. Where she belonged.

He was lightly stroking her back underneath her top, making her skin tingle. She was in utter heaven, and Loki couldn’t get enough of just simply touching her. He needed touch in some way, whether he was just holding her hand or had the tips of his fingers on her skin, he needed and craved the intimacy with her.

Loki’s fingers trailed a bit too far to her side and up a little, making her squirm and giggle.

‘Daddy, that tickles!’ She laughed and tried to grab his hand to stop him.

But he had already stopped, freezing at what she said. That was the first time she had called him that, even in little space.

The biggest smile spread across his face and he buried his face into her hair and squeezed her tightly to him.

‘Sorry, my sweet little one. I forgot how ticklish you are.’ He purred.

[cruelfeline]

All right. I’ve cried enough about it; now let’s try to do something useful.

I’m going to try to articulate my interpretation of the scene between Hordak and Adora. I’m not certain that I will be able to do so adequately, but I will attempt it. 

It’s... it’s everything, this scene. Everything haunting and terrible and tender and wonderful about this story. And I want to express why it affects me so deeply. So. Let’s try.

Upon having Horde Prime’s consciousness purged from his body, Hordak experiences a flashback to the moment he found Adora. The triumphant music that has been playing suddenly stops, and we experience this utterly silent moment between two characters that have, over the course of the show, interacted directly only a handful of times.

Hordak looks so very young, so innocent. He wears an outfit that appears to be a sort of mix of clone attire and his future armor, and it makes him look small, non-combative. He has his dyed hair and black eyeshadow, but none of it is as dramatic as it becomes later on. His face carries none of the stern bitterness and rage that we’re so used to seeing in him.

He’s just... quiet. Contemplative, perhaps. Maybe even a little confused, but entirely devoid of any malice, of any hint of evil that one might anticipate, remembering his demeanor back in the first couple of seasons. 

He holds Adora gently, almost tenderly, the way one would expect someone, a regular, non-clone someone, to hold an infant. As he appears to adjust the blanket around her face, her hand rests close enough to his that, if she wanted, she could touch his skin.

This moment... I don’t know if I can properly express the emotions this moment instills in me. A sense of immense importance in a seemingly innocuous act. Something foreboding and melancholy, yet tentatively hopeful.

Here is a Horde clone, a cultist whose sole purpose is the glorification of Horde Prime, and here is a tiny infant girl. They are so very different, so entirely unlike one another, and yet they are the same. Both infinitely far from home. Both lost and alone in this strange place. Both beholden to others’ machinations, whether they recognize it or not. Both fated to suffer so terribly, for reasons entirely outside of their control. And neither knows it: what the future holds for them.

Hordak will suffer through chronic illness, and shame, and loneliness, and the terrifying disgrace of failure. He will visit grievous harm upon Etheria in his desperate bid for validation and acceptance. He will return to his god-Brother full of misguided hope, only to be mentally and emotionally destroyed.

Adora will be given to an abusive woman who will instill in her insecurities and traumas that will affect her for life. She will spend her days driving herself to meet everyone else’s needs while pointedly ignoring her own. She will experience the horror of being groomed to be a weapon.

They will both suffer immeasurably, and yet within that suffering, they will find friendship, and love, and strength, and eventual peace.

And this moment? This moment that Adora is too young to remember, and that Hordak once claimed to forget? This brief moment of a Horde clone’s inexplicable mercy towards an infant girl is what starts a chain of events that ends with the death of a monstrous tyrant and the liberation of an entire universe. 

Neither recognizes this moment. Neither knows its significance. 

They don’t know that Hordak, by indulging in mercy and saving this child, has likewise saved himself and the rest of the known universe. They don’t know how incredibly important this brief moment is to the both of them, to everyone. They won’t know it until everything is said and done, until the journey is over.

It’s such a poignant, haunting realization: that everything we see happen, everything they all go through, every triumph and frustration, is the result of this single decision Hordak made for reasons he likely doesn’t quite understand. The result of a small connection that neither Hordak nor Adora realized they shared.

But once they do realize it, once She-Ra purges Prime from Hordak’s body and mind and recognizes this connection, we witness a beautiful moment of understanding and forgiveness.

Her hand gently cupping Hordak’s cheek, She-Ra sees that, despite everything, despite all that Hordak has done, there was no malice in him. Not really. Not when all of the anger and frustration and fear are peeled away.

She sees him not as a tyrannical conqueror, but as the wounded, frightened, emotionally sick person he truly is. 

She-Ra sees that, in the end, Hordak is a victim of terrible circumstances, of another’s sordid plans, just as she herself was. She understands that what drives him is not the desire to rule, or to destroy, but rather something so much more tragic and painful and desperate. Something that necessitates healing, rather than punishment.

She sees all of this. She understands it. And so she chooses to forgive. 

And because She-Ra is Etheria, and Etheria is She-Ra, it is as if the planet, too, recognizes what Hordak is and what he has done. Etheria sees Hordak, Etheria understands Hordak. And Etheria, too, forgives him.

Despite everything that’s happened, despite the war and the destruction and the litany of pain and fear he has wrought, Hordak is forgiven.

And as She-Ra smiles at him, he quietly realizes that the tiny infant he rescued from a silent field all those years ago is the reason all of this has happened. The reason he is free. The reason he is forgiven. He remembers her. Hordak remembers a moment and a connection and a choice he once made, and he recognizes the loving act of kindness that has resulted from them. 

It’s so tender, all of it. So kind. So compassionate and gentle, that this man’s wrongs can be seen for the cries of pain that they were, and that he can be helped up off the ground instead of subjected to vengeful justice.

Because that is what this story is about: compassion and forgiveness. People and how their most unassuming connections can radically change their lives. Choices and personal agency rising above destiny. Recognizing the pain and trauma in others’ mistakes and reaching out to them in healing rather than retribution.

And all of it started and ended with two lost individuals who, without knowing, without meaning to, would forge a connection and save one another’s lives.

This brief scene is a loving celebration of everything this show stands for, every compassionate message it has conveyed, and every hopeful lesson it has taught. It makes me weep more than anything else this show has offered, and though I will never be able to truly express my feelings about it as well as I would like, I hope I’ve provided at least some idea of why it is so important to me.

[somebody-909]

Stalkyoo - Black and White Formal Romantic Subtext Analysis

The beginning of I Love Yoo up until the Black and White Formal shows the development of Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi's relationship from strangers to reluctant acquaintances and eventually to friends.

Their relationship's development up until the present comic, in my opinion, reaches a peak during the formal arc, where we see both the completed development of their friendship (neither are reluctant) but we also see the fast emergence of new possible romantic feelings. The arc is pivotal in defining and developing their relationship and we continue to see its effects afterwards. So, in order to better understand the two characters' relationship, let's take a look at the key moments in the arc that explore their friendship and romantic tension.

Ep. 49 | Makeup - A Friendly Face and Romantic Tension

Shin-Ae is forced to attend the black and white formal to take care of her father. She is in an incredibly difficult position, with college exams the next day, her father ill, and now having to deal with this incredibly unfamiliar situation and this horrible dress.

When she sees Yeong-gi however, it’s great to see a comforting and familiar presence. We get a chance to see their friendship in this uncomfortable setting when Yeong-gi shows concern for Shin-Ae.

That is not all, however. The makeup panel (which was removed by Quimchee later on, but is included in the mid-season recap), introduces us to the first instance of genuine romantic tension between the two in the arc (and the whole comic up until here, really).

The two are very close together and look at each other softly. Shin-Ae seems to be blushing, as well. This moment is intimate and romantically tense.

This first scene does a great job at introducing the two major dynamics in their relationship that are explored in this arc: their established friendship and new romantic tension. These dynamics lead up to what occurs on the hospital balcony.

Ep. 49-51 | Hands - Distance and Desires

When Yeong-gi gets up to get Shin-Ae food, she reaches for him and grabs onto his sleeve. This panel introduces Shin-Ae's desire to stick with Yeong-gi throughout the night. We understand how comforting she finds it to be near him.

She extends her hand — showing how she is now also "reaching" for him and his companionship.

In Ep. 50, when Yeong-gi is scolded by his father and leaves to wait outside for Alyssa, Shin-Ae notices he seems down from across the floor. And for the first time, she tries to reach him. Up until now, she has been wary of Yeong-gi and his intentions, but now we see that their relationship has truly progressed to real friends. Shin-ae genuinely cares for Yeong-gi. But before she can reach him, she is interrupted by Sang-chul.

In the next episode, we see Yeong-gi respond to her call, reflecting what Shin-Ae did in Ep. 49, and extending his hand back towards her. Both characters' reciprocal desire to connect with each other is shown through their hands.

This scene, where they reach for each other but don't connect, introduces the arc's recurrent motif/theme of DISTANCE. Shin-ae and Yeong-gi want to connect, as they care for each other and find comfort in one another, but because of the circumstances at the party they are torn apart repeatedly.

And despite (literally and figuratively) reaching for each other, neither their hands nor their good intentions (like Shin-ae’s desire to be there for Yeong-gi) actually do reach each other. This repeats a few times in the arc, causing significant tension; due to the obstacles of the events around them, they can’t reach each other despite how much they may want to. As such, readers also feel relief whenever the two characters do manage to get together.

Ep. 55 | The Dance - A Kousuke and Yeong-gi Parallel

Kousuke, while having good intentions, struggles to understand what Shin-Ae wants, and instead goes for what makes sense to him. Yeong-gi, on the other hand, consistently shows an understanding of what would truly help Shin-Ae.

It is certainly true that Kousuke’s method was pragmatic. If the problem is that Shin-Ae feels humiliated and that he is embarrassed by her, what better way to show that he isn’t than by dancing with her in front of everyone? It’s a well-meant gesture that would show that he cares more for her than what others think and regardless of what they think. However, although his intentions were sweet, the outcomes were less so.

Shin-Ae DOES NOT want to dance. A scene that may have been beautiful, is tainted by Shin-Ae's true feelings of discomfort.

The truth is, Shin-Ae doesn’t want to go back in front of them. She doesn’t want to prove something to them. She doesn’t want to dance. But she feels like she has to. She can’t say no. The dance is actually… sad to see. She doesn’t want to be there.

But as she dances and feels terrible, Yeong-gi shows up. She is immediately excited and put at ease but is also worried about him since she hasn't seen him since he left to go outside.

But then Yeong-gi acts a goof. He understands that Shin-Ae doesn’t want to be there, but she has to. Because he understands the feeling of putting on a performance, despite being miserable… he immediately recognizes Shin-Ae's going through that too. So being the lovely friend he is, Yeong-gi goofs around. What better way to make Shin-Ae feel less tense in this too formal environment by reminding her of a friendly presence and doing something hilariously inappropriate? And of course, he knows how to help alleviate some of her discomfort, because they’re friends, after all, right? Yeong-gi shows a deep level of empathy for Shin-Ae.

The scene also develops a contrast between Kousuke and Yeong-gi — and the differences in how they affect Shin-Ae — that is paralleled many times later in the series.

Yeong-gi is the one who gets Shin-Ae to smile. He's the one who turns this scene from something uncomfortable to wholesome. And yet, he's not the one dancing with her. He stays to the side, in the shadows of the crowd, with distance between him and Shin-Ae, and with his head down. It fits his overarching character arc — staying hidden and away, and unable to chase for what he wants because of a quiet sense of shame and low self-worth.

The significance of him not interrupting and staying off to the side is purposefully emphasized in Ep. 57, when Kousuke says:

"I'm surprised you didn't interrupt my dance with Ms. Yoo."

Yeong-gi doesn't respond and simply looks away and slightly frowns. This emphasizes that there is a reason Yeong-gi stays away, and it's likely because his low self-esteem issues cause him to think, "Who am I to interfere?"

Overall, this dance panel achieves a similar effect to the earlier scene when their hands reach for each other, adding to the tension caused by distance — it feels like Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi should be together, but because of the circumstances, they can’t. They are reaching for each other, emotionally, but just can’t close the gap.

Ep. 55 | “We’re (just) friends... right?” - More Romantic Build-up

Although Yeong-gi knew exactly how to cheer up Shin-Ae, what he didn’t expect was her laugh… or rather the way he feels when she does.

Look at Yeong-gi’s expression — his eyes are widened. He has a look of awe and he seems shocked. He felt something unexpected. Maybe his heart skipped a beat... Could it be possible…?

He also has a resigned smile after, choosing to look at their dance from afar.

After the dance, Yeong-gi asks Shin-Ae to confirm their friendship.

But the panel and his tense smile seems… eerie. Faked. Like Yeong-gi might not be asking this question for obvious reasons. Even Shin-Ae notes that he seems uneasy, with a confused look and a nervous sweat drop.

We’ve already seen their completely established friendship. But as soon the two explicitly acknowledge this out-loud, we seem to have something new to deal with. Why does Yeong-gi suddenly want confirmation of their friendship, and in a manner that seems quite… sad? Why does his smile seem faked? We can look just a few panels prior to have a better understanding of what’s occurring internally for Yeong-gi.

Yeong-gi's shocked expression and widened eyes are similar to other moments of romantic tension, namely the hospital balcony scene and the earphones scene (albeit in a more muted manner). This is the second moment in this arc after the makeup scene that adds to the romantic tension leading up to the hospital balcony scene.

I believe Yeong-gi seems sad when he asks, “We’re friends right?” because when Shin-Ae laughs, he subconsciously feels the pangs of possible budding romantic feelings (it isn’t quite there yet, it is slight, but he is feeling something new) and he immediately subconsciously tries to deny those feelings by having Shin-Ae assert their friendship.

He feels dissonance between two facts:

“Shin-Ae is my friend”

“I felt something when she laughed”

This dissonance is uncomfortable, so he seeks to deny what is implied by the second part (that he may feel more for her). Additionally, we understand Yeong-gi struggles with self-worth. With the added pressure of those around him, as well as Shin-ae who has consistently accused him of being too pushy and a player, it is no struggle to understand why he immediately tries to avoid this feeling at even the first slightest hint of it.

But by looking for an affirmation of friendship to refute what he felt when she laughed, he unwittingly makes a link between what he felt to something beyond friendship.

Ep. 57-8 | The Bar - Brief Respite and a Kousuke/Yeong-gi Parallel

Due to the aforementioned tension, moments like the bar where Yeong-gi and Shin-ae are able to interact and joke around (about boobs in this case) feel incredibly refreshing — everything else is uncomfortable, but being with each other is comforting.

Once the others join them, we also get another slight Kousuke and Yeong-gi parallel. When Alyssa mentions Yeong-gi could dance with Shin-Ae, Yeong-gi refuses, likely due to pressure from Kousuke to be faithful to Alyssa. (We don’t quite know what he would’ve said otherwise). Shin-Ae responds to him refusing the dance, thinking:

“It would’ve been awkward anyways like my dance with Kousuke.”

The phrase "it would've been [negative adjective] anyways" usually implies a sense of settling for an outcome and sometimes slight displeasure.

I will admit that is hard to firmly state she’s disappointed that he said no. But the phase most certainly implies that she would’ve gone along with it if he said yes. (If this is hard to understand, Shin-Ae doesn’t think something like, “Good. I didn’t want to dance anyways.”) Her thought is relatively indifferent, especially in contrast to Kousuke whom she explicitly didn’t want to dance with.

Ep. 61 | Yeong-gi Takes a Stand - Relationship-driven Growth

When Yeong-gi learns that Shin-Ae is in trouble, but is yelled at by his father for his behaviour and not being with Alyssa, he is absolutely terrified at first (poor boy).

Randulph: "What are you doing? Fooling around again? It hasn't even been that long since I last reprimanded you!"

*Yeong-gi flinches*

Randulph: "How many times am I going to have to scold you tonight??? How hard is that head of of yours that nothing I say gets through to you! And Alyssa isn't even with you!"

Yeong-gi: *meekly* "Well — my friend was —"

Randulph: "I'm not through talking!

*Yeong-gi flinches*

Randulph continues scolding him, then says, "Forget about your friends."

To which Yeong-gi replies, "No... Castigate me, humiliate me. Do that all you want after I've ensured her safety!"

Upon thinking about the possible danger Shin-Ae is in, we see him, for the first time, advocate for himself and stand up to his father. Yeong-gi's concern for Shin-Ae allows him to stand up to the man who terrifies him. Shin-Ae takes easy precedent over the politics of his family and it shows how far their relationship has come and how it drives Yeong-gi's growth.

Ep. 62-3 | Sang-chul — Anger on behalf of Shin-Ae & a Shin-Ae and Alyssa Comparison

When Yeong-gi sees Sang-chul with Shin-Ae's jacket, he confronts him.

Sang-chul: "Back off bro. I don't want to start any trouble here."

Yeong-gi: "Too late for it now, innit? You asked for trouble as soon as you tried to take advantage of Shin-Ae."

Yeong-gi gets personally angry on behalf of Shin-Ae. It's another example that emphasizes their friendship.

We also see a contrast developed between Shin-Ae and Alyssa by Sang-chul:

"What is this Shin-Ae person to you anyway? You didn't react this way when I mentioned kissing your girlfriend... Where is she anyway? I still need my selfie and my kiss since you're fine with it."

Sang-chul assumes Yeong-gi must be romantically and sexually involved with Shin-Ae partly because he's a disgusting, sexist dirtbag, but also because, frankly, Yeong-gi seems to just generally like Shin-Ae more than his actual girlfriend.

I also want to draw attention to the fact that Sang-chul has mentioned kissing Alyssa three times: once before when they first met, and twice now. All three times, Yeong-gi didn't react.

In Ep. 63, Yeong-gi begins to move away from Sang-chul to get to Shin-Ae.

Sang-chul: "Heh. That's right. Wuss. Go run to your b*tch."

*Yeong-gi stops*

Sang-chul: "I'll go keep Alyssa company while you're at it! I still haven't gotten my kiss! Should be easy. She must be dumb as hell if she's dating you."

*Yeong-gi turns around, glares at him, kisses him, then punches him* "There's your damn kiss, you gobshite!"

Yeong-gi: "Don't you dare call Shin-Ae a b*tch ever again. And stay away from Alyssa."

Why is it, that now, he suddenly becomes agitated after already ignoring three taunts by Sang-chul to kiss Alyssa? Especially when he was in the middle of getting to Shin-Ae? I'm going to argue that Yeong-gi actually decides to punch him as soon as he first stops after Sang-chul insults Shin-Ae. Additionally, after the punch, Yeong-gi's first demand is to never insult Shin-Ae again, placing emphasis on this. It is also said more forcefully then the second: "Don't you dare... ever again" vs "And stay away". Alyssa is added almost like an afterthought.

There is a purposeful comparison here between the way Yeong-gi treats the disrespect towards the two women. Yeong-gi immediately gets angry enough to get violent when Sang-chul insults Shin-Ae, but barely responds at first when he calls Alyssa dumb and threatens to kiss her. He cares more for Shin-Ae than he does for his romantic partner, Alyssa.

Naturally, since the comparison is between his girlfriend and Shin-Ae, it also paints his feelings for Shin-Ae in a romantic light.

Ep. 63 | Yeong-gi Saves Shin-Ae

When Shin-Ae falls in the pool, it is Yeong-gi who saves her. Kousuke does not. This is another narrative parallel meant to contrast the two's relation to Shin-Ae. They both fall into the pool (parallel) but Yeong-gi, not Kousuke, saves Shin-Ae (contrast).

The episode also focuses almost solely on Yeong-gi's response to Shin-Ae's injury. He is absolutely terrified and feels terrible guilt, thinking he did this to her. But he is the one who saved her. He is the one shown to panic, yell for her, and scream for help. (We can also get into the authorial choice to focus on Yeong-gi's reaction and not Kousuke's... At the very least, it emphasizes that this moment is especially significant for Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi.)

Conclusions

The black and white formal arc serves as a climax for development between Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi — we see how in the face of adversity, the two value each other deeply as friends, and are given romantically tense moments.

There are also multiple narrative parallels, where Kousuke and Yeong-gi are put in similar situations, but the way they impact Shin-Ae are contrasted. Despite having multiple moments with Kousuke, Yeong-gi is who impacts her positively and who she wants to spend time with. This is continued in the hospital finale, when despite literally “reaching” Kousuke (he is with her and holds her hands), it is only after chasing Yeong-gi and being with him that she finds cathartic emotional support and finally cries. (Although these parallels jab at YooTip, I want to focus more on how it emphasizes that Shin-Ae and Yeong-gi's bond is beyond that she has with another person she has known for the same amount of time. It shows the difference between the more basic-level bond she has with Kousuke, vs. her bond with Yeong-gi that is surprisingly strong for people who have only known each other for a few weeks.)

Overall, this arc builds a base for when Yeong-gi first feels true romantic feelings for Shin-Ae: when she holds onto him and cries on the hospital balcony (you can see that analysis here). In this scene at the end of this arc, the two who so desperately tried to connect during the gala, finally do (although their hands still do not touch).