#we're always expected to explain our existence

[ruuari]

.

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you don't need a special lore reason for a character to be trans. it's still rooted in cisnormativity and seeing cis as default

[disneyprincemuke]

» disneyprincemuke's f1 masterlist

series

vettel reincarnate * female!driver -> after retiring from formula 1 at the end of the 2022 season, f1 legend sebastian vettel realised a while after the announcement that he would miss the paddock way too much. instead of taking back his announcement, he pairs up with an up-and-coming driver and gets her a seat in a race car in formula 1.

in another life * female!driver x logan sargeant -> "if not in this universe, do you think we're at least together in another?" "there has to be at least one where we're happy."

it's nice to have a friend * logan sargeant x platonic fem!driver -> it's never fun feeling like an outsider, so you'd sworn that nobody would ever feel the way you did all those years ago

i'm giving up your ghost * multiple drivers -> i’d live in these stories forever if it means being with you

fast times and fast nights * f1 grid as wags -> what do you expect when you put the grid and their partners on a reality show?

i said "i love you" * valentine's day special -> different reactions to the phrase

max verstappen

midnights -> a compilation of lonely midnights shared between you and max following your breakup

5 times -> there are five times max almost caught himself saying he loves you, and then there’s the time that he finally let you know

3 times -> you've had a crush on the racing prodigy for as long as you've known him - you had your own troubles biting back on words too.

glitter -> it’s the morning after a party, and you find yourself tangled up in bed with your boyfriend

the other woman -> everything falls into place in your mind when max fails to show up for you at the one event you desperately wanted him to be at

charles leclerc

i quit drinking -> you were never one to turn down alcohol. when you do, it causes a ruckus among your friends.

to forget you -> you avoided alcohol to forget the likes of charles, but he coped by drowning himself in the very same thing that reminded him of you

you called -> you called, so he came.

dancing with your ghost -> the ghost of your relationship lingers in your old apartment, reminding you of what's lost

george russell

sex -> it was supposed to be just sex

be mine -> your last night together ended on a bad note, and now you’re back after months to explain yourself

alex albon

love like this -> alex may be the reason your parents are separating, but he proves to you that soulmates still exist

get this right -> the thought of proposing to you is one that always comes easy to alex, but what he hadn’t expected is how difficult it is to execute it

first podiums -> it’s her first win in formula one as a female driver and her boyfriend can’t be any happier for her

logan sargeant

take my hand * prince!logan -> the princess, to inherit the throne after marriage, is having the hardest time trying to find a man to wed. until, a certain duke of somewhere comes riding in to ask for her hand

our spot -> a text from you is the last thing logan expects when he's back home for the holidays especially when it's your first text in almost two years

our spot, 2 -> it’s about two weeks since you last saw logan and you find him sitting all alone in the dark

oscar's girl / logan's girl -> logan never thought he would meet the girl that broke oscar’s heart

where the fun begins * frat!logan (college!mick) -> logan sees you wrapped around another’s arms shortly after you ghost him and he decides to wreak some havoc

to the moon and back * dad!logan -> the misadventures of little luna sargeant

carlos sainz

one of your girls -> you’re just another name in black ink in his long list of girls, and you should know better. so why are you at his apartment in the middle of the night after weeks of radio silence?

oscar piastri

logan's girl -> oscar truly never thought he would ever see the girl that was the cause of his first ever heartbreak

mastermind -> oscar did not expect that he had to share a bed with you during his trip to visit you over his break

mick schumacher

no other shade of blue, but you -> you didn't have a favourite colour up until you met him

where the fun begins * college!mick (frat!logan) -> logan sees you wrapped around another’s arms shortly after you ghost him and he decides to wreak some havoc

invisible string -> unbeknownst to you, there was a force that was pulling you and mick together your entire lives

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR DEEP CONVERSATIONS *  assorted dialogue for thoughtful discussions, adjust as necessary

do you think there's more to this?

will we ever be free?

what are you grateful for?

do you enjoy spending time with me?

when's the last time you spoke to them?

unfortunately, i know exactly how you feel.

this can't be all there is.

i believe in truth.

why are you so unhappy?

what was your first heartbreak like?

you have to trust me on this.

believe in yourself.

what's the first thing you noticed about me?

what are you doing to make the world a better place?

do you understand the gravity of this?

i think we were meant to find each other.

do you believe in a higher power?

if you could live anywhere, where would you go?

i haven't felt this way in a long time.

what are you proud of?

if you knew tomorrow was your last day, how would you spend it?

i can't go on like this.

we have to take a chance.

i never gave up on you.

love is the most powerful thing in the universe.

every time i look at you, i see my future.

that was a life lesson. i learned it the hard way.

i can't help but think i should have done more.

do you believe in fate?

if a genie gave you three wishes, what would you ask for?

i've always wondered about that.

at what point are we good enough?

who are you, really?

if you had a million dollars right now, what would you do first?

maybe this will make you change.

things feel different here.

life doesn't make sense.

i'm not perfect. none of us are.

sure, it's scary, but we can't stop now.

it's easier said than done.

i think you can do it.

who broke you?

how do you know when you're in love?

i know that's not the answer you were hoping for.

i wish i knew what was waiting for me.

would you change anything about me?

i've never seen it like that.

we have to keep moving. we can't slow down.

you've really opened my eyes.

has anyone ever broken your heart?

this could lead us to infinite opportunities.

what would you have done differently?

i have so much faith in you.

who was your first love?

i can take care of myself.

i think you should follow your dreams.

you've changed my life in ways i can't explain.

they always said you were different.

i'm not giving up hope.

how can we make the world a better place?

i want to leave a mark on the world. do you?

how do you feel about it?

how would people describe you?

do you ever say no?

were you expecting something else?

who do you compare yourself to?

do you believe in aliens?

i'm not a child anymore.

do you think we were meant to be together?

i trust you with my life.

you are so much stronger than you realize.

if you could say anything to them right now, what would you say?

i didn't know places this beautiful even existed.

do you remember the dream you had last night?

i don't think we're alone in the universe.

love is the answer.

that's all there is.

do you love them? i mean really love them?

we can't sit around and wait for our lives to happen to us.

have you ever been in love?

do you believe in justice?

i won't give up on them.

you inspire me every day, you know.

[slyandthefamilybook]

Who is the antisemite?

I've made many a post about the nature of antisemitism, and I don't expect I'll ever stop. But I've made relatively few posts about antisemites, who they are, and why they are. I don't mean to make a list of every antisemite in the world; I wouldn't be able to finish it before I died at my keyboard. Instead I want to explore a bit into the nature of antisemitic belief and what draws people to it, in the hopes of helping people recognize their own behaviors. This won't be a thorough taxonomy, but will focus on something I believe is at–or close to–the heart of the issue.

When I tell people antisemitism can have a racial component the response I usually get is, "but Jewish isn't a race so you can't be racist against Jews!" Now it's true that "Jewish" is not (currently) one of the accepted racial categories (up until some time in the 1950s you could list your race on U.S. censi as "Hebrew"), but that's not exactly what I mean. What I mean is that there's a pattern of thought that's part-and-parcel of racism and racist ideas, even if it's not always deployed against what we would consider a race. That pattern is bio-essentialism–the belief that there are certain inherent and largely invariant differences between discrete groups of people. This, for example, explains the significant overlap between racism and transphobia, if not always in practice than in thought. If you believe these differences exist along racial lines, it's simple enough to map them onto sex as well. Bio-essentialism is not the only driving force behind racism, but it is a significant one, and one that can be reasonably used as a predictor of racist thought. In this sense, focusing on phenotypes common among Jews (prominent noses, dark curly hair, olive skin) can have a racial component, and can result in behaviors and attitudes that behave like racism, even if Jews aren't a "race".

So we have racial antisemitism, and from here we can sit around and postulate on other alchemical combinations; the intersection of antisemitism and sexism, for example, resulting in stereotypes about nagging Jewish wives, overbearing Jewish mothers, and the Jewish American Princess. The intersection of antisemitism and patriarchy, creating anxieties about weak or effeminate Jewish men. Antisemitism and classism; antisemitism and homophobia; antisemitism and anti-theism; and on and on. But what about anti-Jewish antisemitism? What do we find that makes people hate Jews for being Jews?

I'm going to lean fairly heavily on Anti-Judaism: The Western Tradition by intellectual historian David Nirenberg. It's a fantastic albeit excruciating read, and I highly recommend everyone–Jewish and not–pick it up from their local library.

Much like the habits of bio-essentialism characterize much of racism, obsession with blame is (I believe) the core driver of anti-Jewish antisemitism. Specifically blame of the other, although that's generally merely step two in the process. Jews occupy a fairly unique position in the world in that in the vast majority of places where we live we don't really belong. We're treated as guests, reliant on the grace and magnanimity of our hosts to ensure our protection and survival. Part of this is our own doing; throughout the Diaspora our struggle to cohere to our identity has set us apart from everyone else. We don't like to assimilate any more than we have to. But it would be wrong to place the blame for our status entirely on our shoulders, so I will not do so. For the purposes of this post let us take it prima facie that Jews maintain a role of perpetual outsiders–among the nations of the world but not of them.

Throughout history this status has allowed our hosts to define themselves in opposition to us. Jews, who never really belonged, became emblematic of whatever ill the current society, religion, or philosophy decided was most pressing. We gave people opportunity to externalize their own faults, to shift blame from themselves and their comrades to nefarious interlopers. To recontextualize their responsibility to themselves into a Manichaean (I use the word deliberately) struggle between darkness and light. If the anxieties of the day centered around hypocrisy, Jewish Rabbis were the hypocrites you should strive to be unlike. If it was infidelity, it was the Jewess temptresses who were to blame. If it was greed, it was certainly the Jewish bankers who were at fault.

Perhaps my use of past-tense verbs is misleading; this is still the nature of antisemitism today. But this is certainly also how it began. The urge to excise culpability is a fairly common one. It crosses cultural boundaries and expresses itself in toddlers the world around. And so whither the Jews went, childish vindictiveness followed.

When we understand how antisemitism is used as a tool, we can begin to understand the work it does for those who use it. Antisemitism is the antidote to critical thought, to skepticism and self-reflection. It creates a "them", not in reality but in the mind. It explains failure not through any self-conscious rumination, but in the creation of vagrants, infiltrators, and saboteurs.

It now becomes clear why nearly every conspiracy theory is antisemitic, or rapidly hurtling in that direction. One of the cornerstones of conspiratorial thought (as expounded by Michael Barkun in A Culture of Conspiracy: Apocalyptic Visions in Contemporary America) is the belief that the conspiracies are composed out outside forces. When neo-Nazis compose their "Every Aspect of _____ is Jewish" flyers, they can hardly focus on the fact that the vast majority of the people they blame are American. Americans are the in-group and as such cannot be at fault. Jews are an easily accessible out-group, in part because Jewishness is so "sneaky" (you can be Jewish and not even know it! Even Wikipedia can't seem to decide when someone is Jewish or not!). When people believe that the CIA was responsible for assassinating John F. Kennedy, it's never in their capacity as red-blooded patriotic Americans; it's always the result of insiders from Russia, China, and ultimately, Jews. Even conspiracy theories that don't explicitly name Jews are engaged in antisemitic thought, so long as they seek to pin events on the actions of "them". There's a reason "they" has become memetic in neo-Nazi circles; those who are "them" are most assuredly not "us".

It also becomes clear how and why antisemitism traverses political boundaries, and infects discourse left, right, and center. The extremes–the far-right and far-left (for all the usefulness of the political spectrum, which is not much)–are more prone to antisemitic thought precisely because they are so far from the norm. The more you see wrong with society the more you seek those who are responsible. (Again it's important to note that "antisemitic thought" in this context refers to the habit of looking for outsiders to blame, and does not always map perfectly onto open bigotry toward "real Jews".) When England is close to being a perfect country, it is only through the actions of the Jews that it is prevented from becoming so. When Sovyet communism begins to collapse in on itself, it is certainly the Jews who are accused. It is never "us" or "we"; it is always "they" and "them". And in a fit of cruel irony, when antisemitism becomes un-fashionable, the "no-true-scotsman" fallacy is often deployed, assigning the use of conspiratorial bigotry to impersonators and pretenders.

So what can we do? What can we learn, and how can we change? We can start by resolving to think critically, to not take the easy answers. We can look inward, not outward, and find things to improve in ourselves, rather than assuming that our faults are not our fault. We can be skeptical of conspiracy theories, of people who want to direct our anger in ways that serve their own goals. As always, we can protect and uplift Jews and Jewish communities worldwide. We can orient ourselves toward finding solutions, instead of finding reasons for why we can't. We can unlearn the thought patterns, cliches, and habits of antisemitic thought, or that lead to antisemitic thought. We can stop trying to look for the bad people, and start trying to be the good people.

[nuka]

I think what makes Our Flag Means Death so remarkable in terms of representation is not just the broadness of it, but the depth.

We have an indigenous lead character, but he's not only that. He's also queer. He's a romantic interest. He's middle-aged. His arc portrays surviving trauma and abuse. It also portrays mental illness. And it portrays breaking free from toxic masculinity. And it never tries to put him in a box when he explores his masculinity and femininity.

We have a non-binary character, played by a Puerto Rican NB actor, but their arc is not about their gender identity and their coming out is simply a case of "Just keep calling me Jim". They have a romantic/sexual relationship with a black character, and never is this relationship or either of their sexual orientations or Olu's sex appeal as a fat person or "who even is the man in this relationship hahaha" questioned. When they get into a poly relationship, it's just accepted, instead of questioned or even defined.

These are just a couple of examples. It's not that Our Flag Means Death is the only or the first show with queer/BIPOC/disabled representation, because it's not. What makes the show remarkable is the unique combination of queerness, ethnicity, age, disabilities, life experiences, etc. that each character carries within themselves, yet none of these characters exist solely to appear as representation of any minority on screen. Their identities are not glued onto them, they're ingrained, but in the end, they're just people. Just like in real life. Identities do not work as plot points. Being queer is not a plot point. Being non-binary is not a plot point. It's just a small part of the whole complex experience of life.

OFMD is a perfect example of telling a queer story that doesn't focus on telling a story directly about the queerness itself. Because we have stories about queerness already. We have so many of them that it just feels like tokenism at this point to see yet another story about coming out or forbidden love or anything like that, even if it's well made.

This show took me by surprise with every new way of representation it offered, because each time it did the total opposite of what I expected. It took all the tired tropes and said, "Yeah, see these? We're not gonna do any of that." It delivered something I never thought I'd see on screen.

It never explains the characters' identities to the audience. It simply shows them exactly the way they are and lets you decide whether you see yourself in them, and I think that also allows the audience to question their own identities, to explore gender and sexuality freely without immediately putting labels on things.

People who never thought they might be trans or non-binary or queer in any way discovered their identities through the show. People who struggle with mental illness or trauma saw someone like themselves portrayed with kindness and respect on screen and were finally able to extend the same kindness to themselves. People who are always left out of romantic stories because of their age or body shape or the color of their skin finally saw themselves portrayed as desirable and worthy of love and romance.

That is why so many of us feel that, in the words of Ruibo Qian: "OFMD woke me up."

[green-enby]

Heyo! Have you watched Koisenu Futari (恋せぬふたり, Two people who can't fall in love) yet? It's a great series, just 8 episodes long! I binged it in one day :) [smiley]

It focuses on two aromantic asexual people living together. This is a little appreciation post, containing some thoughts that it evoked in me as an aroace.

If you don't want spoilers, please don't read!

It's so relatable how Sakuko keeps blaming herself all throughout the show… Insecurity stemming from societal expectations that dictate romance is for everyone, and that people who don't date are somehow "failing" in life; I think this affects allos as well.

When I broke off my romantic relationship, I too felt like it had been my fault, for not having been a good enough partner, for not being able to love them in the same way they loved me.

To finally learn that you are not "defective", that there's other people like you…! I love how the two MCs don't grieve their lack of attraction; Sakuko is perfectly happy discovering she's aroace. She and Takahashi are living their "best life" together.

Sure, many aroaces do wish they were allo, and that needs to be represented too, but this series to me really shined a light over why they want that: it's because amatonormativity is rampant in the world, not because lacking attraction is inherently sad. The main conflicts in the series stem from the clash between allo society and the aroace experience, after all. I think that's neat! It gave me a good dose of aroace joy—while still showing the hurts that come with it, realistically—and I really needed it.

I didn't expect her to come out to her family so soon, but whoa, that was intense. Her mother's negative reaction is what all people who exclude a-spec people from the LGBTQIA+ community should see, to understand that we face the same issues they do.

I haven't come out to my parents as aroace yet, and watching this made me realize how awful it actually feels to be in the closet. I somehow hadn't realized I am. I've always felt safe coming out to them as other things, as bisexual back in the day, and as trans non-binary.

It might be because my confidence disappeared when they reacted badly both times, but this coming out feels almost impossible.

Comparing it to coming out as bi, it's really not that different: if you're bi, you're promiscuous and date too many people; if you're aroace, you're a prude and cold-hearted. If you break away from the status quo, you're wrong either way.

But at least, most people do eventually understand the bi experience, if they understand same-gender attraction, and fuse it with straightness, even though it's a flawed method.

With aros and aces, instead, it's such an alien concept for an allo, which makes it way harder to come out and have to explain to them how to deconstruct allo-amatonormativity. It's exhausting. Thankfully, there's people like Kazu who are actually willing to learn about us. That gives me hope.

I feel like it's super eye-opening to find out the concept of romance didn't even exist in the past. Pretty sure that in Europe, it originated during the Middle Ages from the ideal of chivalry. So it's really just a social construct, and opting out of it shouldn't be so controversial!

It's just a set of pointless, annoying rules like having to kiss eachother, having to say "I love you", and doing it all a set amount of times, otherwise it's not good enough. What if we don't want to? What if it doesn't come natural to us? If it's just a social construct, fuck it, I'm not adhering to that! We do whatever makes us happy!

Even in the series itself, Sakuko too goes through a heartbreak, even if it's not the romantic kind: she valued her friendship and future cohabitation with Chizuru above all else, but Chizuru abandoned her, because of romantic love. It's not true that aroaces have it easy.

Like our MC, we have to deal with fear that we'll come off flirty when we're just being friendly, confusion over concepts that we feel we should understand, shame over the fact that we're different, fear of loneliness, frustration and pain that we'll always come second to our friends' romantic partners, or even trauma from a relationship or sexual encounter that we didn't really want. I could go on and on.

These last scenes really got to me. Especially the second one… I admit that I cried, when she had to turn her down, and it seemed like her aromanticism had ruined their relationship. It hurts that the way I am could seriously harm someone I care about. It hurts that most people work differently and that they can't help it, and that we can't help it either. I don't like being put in that position, to cause someone a heartbreak. I have with my ex, and had to watch them spiral down… It was horrible.

Still, I wouldn't change my orientation for the world. I'm confident in my identity, I love being aroace.

In the end, we can all reach our full potential, reach a point where we feel fulfilled and that we're living our best life, find ourselves a family if it's what we want, have our dream job and house. Being aroace doesn't condemn us to a life of unhappiness. That's what this series left me with by the end; it gave me so much hope for my future.

(I'm aware I'm coming off as a bit toxically positive here haha, sorry if I'm striking a bad chord; I'm just in a really good period right now, and riding this wave for as long as I can! Hopefully I can rub it off someone else as well.)

That said, I really loved this j-drama, it was funny and relatable and emotional, I wished it had lasted longer! It seems like the author isn't even aroace herself, so I'm amazed at how good the representation was! So much thought and research has gone into it, and it shows; the result is amazing.

Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts about this! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[blacklegsanjiii]

im kind of imagining for revolutionary!sanji that maybe theres a moment in alabasta where luffy and ace say something that sabo always used to say, maybe an inside joke, and everyone is confused but sanji kind of unintentionally mutters "youre just like sabo" and their heads snap towards him. cue an intense and furious interrogation that sanji is trying to evade bc he thinks sabo maybe pissed them off during a mission and they have no clue how the fuck sanji knows their dead brother's name

maybe not canon to your au but a fixit alternative?

Oh my gosh..... Ace and Luffy pester Sanji until they find out who Sabo is.

Sanji who is just watching these two feral adults, one of which lit his cigarette with his fruit. He's mentioned offhandedly having a brother he doesn't get to see often. Probably only once like when he talks about being from the North Blue. Sanji can't talk about a lot of stuff just because of how high ranking he is the Revolutionary Army.

So he's watching them and all the dumb shit they're doing and is just like "you're both just like Sabo" under his breath and they whip around to look at him. He doesn't know Sabo is their dead brother and they didn't know another Sabo could exist in the world. When Luffy and Ace ask about him Sanji doesn't really answer.

Can't risk whatever Sabo is doing right now. They keep pestering him throughout Alabasta. After a while Sanji is like "he's my brother! Okay! I don't get to see him a lot!" And then Luffy rubbers his way into Sanji's pockets and finds a photo of him and Sabo in their early teens, Sabo who has a massive scar covering one of his eyes and going into his hairline. Ace and Luffy are just staring at it and crying because that's their brother and everyone is confused and Nami and Zoro are hitting Sanji because he didn't tell them!

"It's not my fault Sabo never mentioned them! And it's not Sabo's either because he doesn't have his memory from before showing up!" Sanji defends himself and Sabo and everyone is like "he's at Baratie?" And Sanji shrugs and says he doesn't know where Sabo is right now and he probably won't for a while. It's just how it is.

ALTERNATE MARINEFORD BELOW

Fuck it if this happens Sanji is like "Hey, we need to get to Marineford right now." To Sabo and Sabo is like "SWEET WE'RE FUCKING UP AN EXECUTION AND DRAGON DOESNT KNOW!"

Sanji and Sabo make it and Sanji is dressed in his Revolutionary best. Ace and Luffy are looking at these blond dumbass revolutionaries. And once Ace is free and Sanji and Sabo send them to the White Beard fleet Sanji and Sabo are grinning at these top Government officials like "haha dragon is going to be pissed" only for Ivankov to have them scruffed and hauled off too.

"I would expect better from our chief of staff and head of espionage! Honestly, what do these two have do with you two?" Ivankov demands as they gesture between the four of them and Sanji is like "well he's my Captain, he's my Captains brother, and they think the know Sabo from before times."

Ivankov is looking between them as Ace is reeling because he almost died, his pops did die, Luffy saved him, his other dead brother is alive and the cook is a revolutionary and so is his dead brother and they are high ranking? What the fuck? Also the before times?

And Ivankov is just leaning over them like "explain yourselves, we raised you better than this!" As Sabo and Sanji point out they were raised soldiers and Sabo doesn't remember anything before showing up on Baltigo when he woke up to Sanji staring at him. Koala grabs Sabo's pipe and nails both of the blonds with it and screams obscenities that belong in the void century.

Sabo is blinking at Sanji as blood is running down their faces then at Ace and Luffy. "If that's all it took to bring your memories back I'm going to hit you again." Koala threatens and Sabo fucking runs from her making her give chase and Ivankov is muttering to themself as Koala chases Sabo around the ship. And seeing an opportunity to make it worse Sanji is like "Koala, look at this!" As he lights his legs on fire.

Sabo throws Sanji into the ocean and Koala hits him with the pipe like a baseball sending Sabo flying after him. Ivankov can't believe this is head of espionage and the chief of staff. Ace and Luffy are crying their brother is alive but also very confused at the pipe weilding woman who just brained both Sanji and Sabo. She's kind of scary.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Headcanon: Steve's parents come back while their son is having a sleep-over with the older teens. Steve is in the middle of an intense nightmare.

The ground was opening up beneath his feet. He rushed to Dustin, tried to push him out of the way, but only ended up pushing him down. Eddie yelled to him where he was holding onto the edge of the opening, trying so hard not to fall into the abyss below.

"No!" Steve tried to grab one of Eddie's hands, ignoring the screaming of Robin and Max in the distance. "Hold on!"

But it was too late. Eddie slipped and within seconds, Steve could no longer see or hear him yelling his name.

"Steven! Wake up!"

Steve's eyes flew open to see his mother staring at him, hint of concern just visible beneath her usual mask of disgust at his mere existence.

He looked around and saw everyone sitting up and watching him.

Nancy and Robin had death grips on Eddie's legs, trying to keep him away from Steve.

"What in the world is going on?" his father asked from behind the couch.

"Why are these people here? Why are you sleeping in the living room?" his mother continued, not giving him a chance to actually speak.

The comedown from a nightmare like that was always disorienting even without the barrage of questions coming from people who weren't supposed to be home for weeks.

"Steve, we're all okay," Eddie said, clearly fighting every urge to rush over to him, to touch his face and kiss his lips the way he always did when he had a nightmare.

"Are you going to explain?" His father's tone broke through his state of panic and he frowned.

"No."

"No?"

"No. These are my friends and this is my house more than it is yours at this point. We weren't doing anything wrong," Steve gulped.

He'd never spoken to his parents like that, not even in arguments over grades or sports or college or his future.

"Excuse me? This house is in our name and you live here with the expectation that you will work and save money to get your own place since you refuse to go to college."

Steve saw Eddie start to move, but Nancy shoved him back down and glared at him.

"And that's what I'm doing. I don't work every single minute of my life. I'm allowed to hang out with friends."

"With a drug dealer? And two young women who should not be sleeping anywhere near two young men?" his mother asked as she looked over Nancy and Robin.

"Fine. We'll go."

Steve stood up, still a bit off from his nightmare, and gestured for everyone to follow him.

His parents started to argue, but he ignored them, making sure everyone had their stuff as they all walked out of the house.

They all got into Eddie's van, but Nancy and Robin moved to the back so they could curl up under the blanket they brought with them.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Eddie asked him as they backed out of the driveway.

What time even was it?

"Yeah. Just don't wanna be here anymore," Steve sighed.

"Stay with me for a bit?" Eddie asked, looking over at him as he drove towards the trailer park.

"Wayne doesn't like me very much. Not sure that's a good idea," Steve sighed.

"What do you mean? Wayne loves you."

"He hates me! He never even talks to me. He looked at me weird when I cooked dinner that one night for both of you. Thought he was gonna take me out back and shoot me or something," Steve admitted.

Eddie laughed.

"Stevie, Wayne loves you. He's just a man of few words and he was lookin' at you like that because he didn't know we were together yet and thought you were looking at us as a charity case. He didn't realize you were trying to impress him because we started dating."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So. Stay? Until you find a place at least?"

Steve nodded.

"Yeah. I'll stay."

[666writingcafe]

Yikes

Author's Note: So basically the first two parts of this rewrite are me setting up a bit of backstory, since I didn't think MC randomly being transported into the past made much sense. After all, I'm trying to create one cohesive story out of the existing content from the original Obey Me game and its Nightbringer spinoff.

The fact that we actually managed to spend some time downtown without our plan going sideways is a feat within itself. If I was with anyone else, we would have been on Plan E by now, and that's on a good day.

But then I happen to notice the back of someone's head and thought their ombre hair looked rather familiar. Stupidly, I ask Solomon to confirm my suspicions, and rather than verbally answer me, he walks up to them and taps them on the shoulder. They whip around, revealing themselves to be exactly who I thought they were.

And now she's got him backed against an alley wall with a dagger pressed against his throat.

"Who are you, and what have you done to my Solomon?" Thirteen hisses. I've only met her once before, but I figured that she would have this kind of reaction. After all, she is a reaper; I'm sure she's able to tell the age of someone's soul simply by looking at them, and no amount of illusion is going to hide that reality from her.

"I promise I can explain," Solomon gasps. "Just...could you possibly let me breathe?" Thirteen narrows her eyes but nevertheless takes a step back, making sure her dagger is still visible as she crosses her arms.

"Thanks," he responds, his voice sounding less hoarse. "The simple answer is that we're from a future timeline. We're here to gather information so that we're able to help someone back home." Thirteen glances at me, but then does a double take as her eyes widen.

"I know you," she tells me. "You've been popping in and out of my cave recently."

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," I meekly reply.

"Of course you wouldn't. I haven't seen you before." I'm confused. She just contradicted herself.

"Then how--"

"The soul," Thirteen interrupts. "It's this bright white light that's been dancing around different parts of my cave. I've heard it whispering, but it was always out of reach, and every time I would try to get closer to hear it better, it would always fly off somewhere." She pauses. "Question is, what is it doing inside a demon?"

"It's a disguise," Solomon answers.

"I wasn't talking to you," Thirteen snaps at him. "So you'd best keep your mouth shut until I'm ready to speak to you again. As it is, you're incredibly lucky I haven't just gone ahead and slit your throat already." I knew she was feisty, but damn. Didn't expect her to threaten Solomon's life.

"Hold out your hand," she instructs, focusing her attention back on me. Not wanting to upset her any more, I do as she asks, and she sandwiches it between her own hands.

"Now, look into my eyes."

"You're not going to charm me, are you?" The dumb question escapes my mouth before I can stop it.

"What? No! I mean, not that you're not attractive, but that's not why I'm doing this. I need to take a better look at your soul, and that's best done through skin-to-skin contact."

"Oh." For a few moments, I find myself magically drowning in Thirteen's eyes as she does whatever she's doing to examine my soul. What is she trying to find in there, anyway?

She suddenly lets go of my hand, stepping away from me.

"Well, that explains that," she murmurs before clearing her throat. "Alright. I believe you, Solomon." He breathes a sigh of relief.

"I wouldn't get too comfortable," she warns him. "If you've retained any of your old habits, I might just have to set a trap or two on you to teach you a lesson."

"Understood." There's a slight smirk on his face. Does he not think that she'll follow through on her threat? A slight blush dusts Thirteen's cheeks as she guides us out of the alley and back onto the street. I would question it, but I don't want to set her off again, so I just keep my mouth shut.

"About a month ago, the Prince put an ad in all the local newspapers," Thirteen states to Solomon as we're walking. "He's looking for an attendant to help six fallen angels and a freshly-born demon settle into life in the Devildom. He's held auditions, but all of them have ended in disaster. Based on what I saw, your friend here would be perfect for the job."

"Is that where we're going now?" Solomon asks.

"Yes. Although when we get there, I need to have a few words with him and his butler first. They need to understand the situation." She turns her head towards me. "By the way, what's the deal with the two names? Your birth name would have been just fine in your current form."

"I didn't think it would fit a demon," I quietly answer, surprised that she dug that bit of information out of my soul. "Plus, I thought that it would be confusing to have two MCs exist in history."

"Fair enough. So, MC in private, Zephyr in public?" I nod my head, and Thirteen reaches down and grabs my hand.

"It's alright," she whispers. "There's no need to be nervous. I'll make sure you don't get in trouble. Just focus on getting the position, okay?"

"What did you see?" I ask her quietly, curious about what looking into my soul revealed to her.

"Enough to tell me that you're a good person who's helped these guys once before."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

[thydungeongal]

Also on the subject of race stuff in fantasy RPGs, while it's not quite the same as what you were talking about, I always loved how Inverse World/Inverse Fellowship handled race. They divested it from a few of the negative connotations fantasy race normally has as a parallel to real life racial constructs by... just connecting it to another set of stereotypes instead.

In those games, your parents race has absolutely 0 impact on your own. Your races is determined entirely by the actual physical location you are born in, causing it to have more in common with regional cultures than skin tones. Yeah of course the people born on the floating sky islands have wings, how else are they going to get around? Of course the people born in caves have darkvision, it's how they live their life.

It is by no means a "We fixed the issues with race forever!" solution, or even that it doesnt have any overlap with existing racial views, and I don't think they intended it to be so. But it is a fascinating lense to look through at our normal portrayal of race in fantasy. And a nice change of pace.

Yes, I do think Fellowship and Inverse World's approach to this stuff is one of the best I've seen! It actually makes for a really interesting and fantastic approach to the issue, where it does away with stuff like bloodlines and species as a scientific concept in favor of an approach like "in a world where magic is commonplace, genetics probably doesn't work like most people would expect it to." It actually manages to turn it fantastical!

Also sorry about this because I'm going to stray from the topic now, like I also do have to rep Chivalry & Sorcery because since we're on the subject of orcs just being some guys: C&S very much takes the approach that besides the game itself being a medieval society simulator, the world should adhere to a medieval paradigm. That means that in the book where they introduce orcs and trolls into the game there's a whole essay explaining how according to [insert Christian philosophers of the time whose names I forgot here] orcs would totally count as people because they are capable of thought and making moral choices and thus any good Christian in the world of Chivalry & Sorcery would extend the same grace to an orc that they would to a human! According to the church fathers and idk St. Augustine of Hippo or something, orcs have souls and thus they are capable of receiving God's grace and salvation! (Chivalry & Sorcery is, like, really interesting to me as a game, and I would very much like to write an essay about its approaches to issues like gender and race, because there is a lot of nuance to it!)

[ca-suffit]

i haven’t read the books but from the way some book stans talk about lestat like he’s some saint, i was not expecting sam in that interview to be like no actually he loves being evil and he’s really good at it and all the stuff about male rage/akasha and the devil being like wow he’s so terrible i need to recruit him actually. and i’ve seen the odd comment on twitter that’s like oh poor sam for having to put up with this lestat character assassination. like i don’t wanna call ppl out but i saw someone say “he signed up for anne rice’s iwtv, not rolin jones’s iwtv 😢” like ??? no actually he did sign up for rolin’s adaptation. and then they act like he’s so put out by the changes like a) he’s getting paid to pay his favorite character i think he’s okay. and b) even if he has reservations or questions about a change or even outright disagrees with one, he’s always full of praise for the final product and for rolin in general. like girl he is fine lol. like he said, some changes needed to be made and were for the greater good e.g. wrt improving the louis character.

I forget if he clarified in the interview or not, but that bit he says about going to hell comes right from the books

But what had I done to Claudia? And when would I have to pay for that? How long was she content to be the mystery that bound Louis and me so tightly together, the muse of our moonlit hours, the one object of devotion common to us both? Was it inevitable that she who would never have a woman's form would strike out at the demon father who condemned her to the body of a little china doll? I should have listened to Marius's warning. I should have stopped for one moment to reflect on it as I stood on the edge of that grand and intoxicating experiment: to make a vampire of "the least of these." I should have taken a deep breath. But you know, it was like playing the violin for Akasha. I wanted to do it. I wanted to see what would happen, I mean, with a beautiful little girl like that! Oh, Lestat, you deserve everything that ever happened to you. You'd better not die. You might actually go to hell. But why was it that for purely selfish reasons, I didn't listen to some of the advice given me? Why didn't I learn from any of them-Gabrielle, Armand, Marius? But then, I never have listened to anyone, really. Somehow or other, I never can.

he's not a saint (but he wants to be one for a second lol) but I personally didn't feel like he was that "evil" either. anne rice wasn't rly a good writer and fired her editor 3 books in on top of it. the series was unplanned and it's a wreck. he does awful shit but nothing I'd view makes him rly "evil," so it was a struggle for me to get on board with all that. an internal fight about how he views himself, I could understand, but idk what was rly that bad otherwise. especially cuz she was so in luv with him that consequences for anything he does just drop off as the books go? let me not write a whole thing about this lol. but ya the good and evil thing is from the books. the rice-a-ronis do mention it in posts sometimes but ever since the show has aired, everything has to be explained away now, bcuz they don't like black and brown characters or fans judging their white fav. he's either an innocent meow meow or a gothic monster, depending what mood they're in that day to dodge whatever criticism comes for them.

AMC explores a lot of stories about violent men so I've never understood this insistence like it's going to be some soft romantic series. the romance is gonna exist in the violence somehow, especially cuz they're vampires. louis slamming dreamstat's head into a rock wall while being goaded to do it bcuz dreamstat says it's the only way louis knows how to luv is sort of peak loustat for where we're at rn. I'm sure eventually they'll be more tender but it's still gonna have gritty undertones for the network it's on and who is writing it. the stans luv to make it about gendered shit, like rolin is ruining it all bcuz he's a man, but anne rice wrote violent, fucked up things too. worse than the show is prbly going to go. it's all excuses. u can just not like something without having to justify ur dislike of it to death. like damn. it's not ur taste, just stop watching??

and yes sam is a grown ass man getting prbly a good paycheck from this so loll he will be fine!

[intosnarkness]

Kanej “Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”

(1 2 or make up your own) (ask)

Inej hadn't been used to privacy at the Menagerie, so she hadn't really expected it when Kaz brought her back to the slat.

There were only so many rooms in the Slat, and no one was going to give a private space to a new recruit. So she'd expected to share with someone. Hopefully someone who would leave her alone.

She had not expected to share with Brekker himself.

"This is my room," he said, swinging the door at the top of the stairs open with a creak. Watching him get up here had been vaguely painful, but Inej knew better than to offer him help again. He would have to ask her. "Well, our room."

Everything she knew about Kaz Brekker told her that he didn't want her in his space. He didn't want anyone in his space. And she didn't know how she felt about being forced to share a room with the boy who had just brokered her purchase out of slavery.

"We're sharing a room?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. It made sense, she supposed. But she had hoped he wasn't going to be like this, wouldn't try to sleep with her so soon and so brazenly.

"Before you decide to murder me," he said, holding up his gloved hands, his cane still clutched by the crow's head at the top. "Let me explain?"

She hadn't even been thinking of murdering him. She'd mostly been considering if she could get out the window before he broke her leg with his cane. But she inclined her head, and let him speak.

"First of all, this is temporary. We need to clean out a storage room, and then you'll have your space. It's just going to require some manpower, and we didn't have any to spare tonight. It'll be done as soon as tomorrow."

Inej narrowed her eyes. In her experience, so far, "tomorrow" just barely existed. Things promised tomorrow never came, because it was always today. She didn't believe in "tomorrow", not the way it seemed to manifest on this terrible island.

"Second of all," Brekker was talking so slowly, so steadily. Like she was an animal he had to calm. "I won't be up here tonight. You have the room to yourself."

That seemed even more unbelievable.

"Where will you sleep?" Inej demanded, her hand on her hip.

"On a couch," he shrugs. "In Jesper's bed. Outside. I don't know, it doesn't matter."

It mattered. It mattered to Inej where he was going to sleep, and she didn't quite know why. Maybe because he was giving up his space, maybe because he had a bad leg. But it mattered to her that he sleep somewhere good.

"Does the door lock?" she asked, instead of saying all of that.

Kaz nodded and fished in his pocket for the key. "All yours, Miss Ghafa."

In another world, Inej thinks, she could have felt something for this boy. He would have come to see her perform, and waited out behind the tent with flowers and candies and they could have snuck into the woods on the outskirts of camp, giggling and touching and tasting. They would have stayed out until the sun rose, and he would kiss the morning dew off her cheeks.

She used to think like that, before she knew what men were. What people did to each other. It was ridiculous, a child's play of a romance. It wasn't meant for people like her, who had lived through the things she had.

But instead he's offering her a key, and a bed of her own. And she thinks it might be the most important present anyone has ever given her.

"Thank you," she says, but it's not enough. She doesn't know if it ever will be.

[sleepynegress]

On Challengers...

Okay.

So, here's the thing. It's decent.

It's sassy, catfighty, but with dudes using rackets and tongue-wrestling, and the tennis scenes are tense, but... it wasn't at all confidently scandalous like I would've expected.

....Like I feel like they didn't push it far enough, somehow? And not even in the way you might think, with dicks a-swingin and thrusts abundant. Remember, the movie Closer? -I think that came out in 2007ish and was rated PG-13??? Or could have been if not for the language.

Natalie Portman has a similar nudity clause to her contract and *STILL* had the absolute sexiest scene with Clive Owen.... .....Which I'll put in this post to demonstrate what I mean. This felt like it held back at moments... When it came to pushing desire, between the men and/or with Zendaya, with one or the other. It just felt so tame to me given the hype. I was hoping for a return to artistic sensuality in film again, instead of this weird sort of by-rote-feeling purity culture we're having rn. (I'm watching Love Lies Bleeding tonight and I BET that delivers. Lesbians, salude!) I was hoping for Cruel Intentions' lush cut with The Dreamers' sensuality..if that makes sense?? AND some good-good tennis. THAT did deliver. WOW, some of the shots for that were eye-popping. A critic I follow noted that her issue (she always has the best takes I don't agree with all of them but they are always well-articulated) was that Zendaya was not fleshed out as a central figure, especially as a BLACK WOMAN. It was yet again another case of a Black woman dropped down from the moon coming from no people of her own, but just somehow existing in a sea of white people with not a hint of Black friends or loved ones.

Hell, they could've even laid out *her people* like the brilliantly underrated Beyond The Lights with Minnie Driver playing the stage manager mom to Gugu Mbatha Raw's biracial pop star. But that comes down to the white male gaze fucking it up, yet again. I looked up the screenwriter and just kind of nodded knowingly with an 'oh, yeah that's what I expected, that explains it...' He simply didn't have the range beyond a sort of vague tennis fetish for brown girls in short skirts grunting and swinging and wanting to do something with that. He admitted that Naomi and another Black woman player's interaction on the court *inspired* this...

Perception of Black women doing ANYTHING can be so heavy with a weirdly asexual gaze from white women and hyper-sexualized by white men. And if desire/centering tips in the "wrong" direction deemed by prejudice and our assumed place....*yeesh* we catch hell. You're either bafflingly too ugly to be treated with desire (whew the incel bigots are big mad that it's Zendaya and not a Sweeney-type) or only deemed good enough for it, because of that white gaze. And resented regardless.

*sigh* Can't win for losing. But I digress. Zendaya's co-stars are the oddest looking mystical-dwarf-head ass forest creature white boys with big ears, but they GAVE in the acting department. Mike Faist is a STAR. He has a sort of laidback sweetly confident rizz. But he definitely is the lovechild of a young Scott Glenn and DJ Qualls. I want to put him in a western immediately because he has Civil War photo face.

Mike O'Connor has that desperate dirty hairy scruffy thing like dude from The Bear. Like you KNOW he has a scratch tat somewhere and would do the dirty with his partner in the toilet stalls or anywhere else. Hollyweird is strange about beauty standards man. Back in the day, they used to pretend old white men, who looked like they smelled like Barbasol mixed w/ urine would somehow be sexy to a twentysomething. Now, we have this dichotomy of thankfully a little more of a diverse gaze for the centered "bombshell" other than blonde with large breasts number 32637263872.... but we also have some actresses cutting fat out their cheeks and being Ozempic thin. *sigh* ...While the "basic" hot boys are punching the air rn because they are also passé. Got to have something interesting going on in the face for everyone now, I think. Can't just be AI "pretty" anymore. Thankfully.

....Anyway. It is good, but with those caveats I laid out.

P.S. ICONIC for me is seeing Zendaya's Black-ass nose bridge drawn large on that poster. P.P.S Thank LUCA for doing the queer elements well... I personally don't think it went far enough, tho...

Mike bottoming for all, including getting pegged by Zendaya would've happened in my version of this... at least implied, come on (ficwriters?) Oh! and here are the clips from Closer, but then it was a successful play first, so the script is more substantial in that.

This is how filthy I expected Challengers to be, and it's just. not. Nothing in The Challengers touches the heavy heady nastiness in this scene IMO, but something in that movie should have, dammit! Note they never even touch each other.

[starwarsmum]

Onto day 11 of Maribat BioFamily September 😊 today's prompt is Hong Kong and we're looking at a different Batfam connection

@maribat-calendar-events

Cass stalked the older Chinese woman through the painting studio. She had recognised her instantly, a vague recollection from when she was eight of her father spending time with the woman. The woman had disappeared shortly after but Cass had never forgotten the kind smiles and occasional treat she had received.

Now that she was older and no longer working for her father, she was back in Hong Kong and working as Black Bat. And now that she knew just how twisted her father had been, she was very suspicious of the ‘kindly’ woman that he had most definitely had romantic entanglements with. 

So now, she was following the woman she had spotted at the market, wanting to make sure she wasn't there to cause harm in her city. There had been no suspicious activity - yet - and Cass was getting tired. She had been up since the previous morning, working her day job immediately followed by her night job.

That was probably why she missed the woman turning and spotting her. By the time she realised she'd been made, the woman was moving towards her with a look of determination, instantly putting Cass on edge. But she was trapped and didn't want to alert the woman to the fact that she was more than she appeared.

“Cassie? Is that you?” The woman said, sounding slightly stunned. Cass nodded cautiously, not sure how to explain why she had been staring at her otherwise. “My goodness, I can't believe how grown up you are! You might not remember me, my name is Sabine. I dated your father for a little while, it must have been fifteen years ago now.”

“...I remember.” Cass hated how slow her speech was, not wanting to appear weak when she didn't know what this woman, Sabine, knew about her. But by the wide eyed look she received, Sabine hadn't been expecting her to talk at all. She cursed herself for not keeping the information to herself when she was unsure.

“You aren't mute anymore?” Sabine said, wonder and happiness lacing her tone. “That's wonderful! Did Davi- did your father finally take you to a specialist? He was always so against the idea, but I'm so relieved he saw sense.”

“I have a new family,” Cass said, relaxing at last. Now that Sabine had mentioned her father, Cass was confident that she was no threat. Her body language reading skills had only improved as she aged and she could see the older woman was merely someone her father had passed time with. “They have taught me many things, and care for me as my father did not.”

“I'm so sorry, Cassie, I didn't- I shouldn't have left you with him. But I was just some woman your father dated and I was young and then when Marinette-” Sabine froze and stopped talking abruptly. Cass forced herself to breathe normally but she wanted to know who this Marinette was. Was it an accomplice of her father's? Someone she should be worried about now?

“I do not blame you,” Cass said, giving Sabine a small smile that relaxed the woman's shoulders incrementally. “Nor do I blame this Marinette, although father never mentioned them. I am not in contact with him anymore,” she added, hoping that it would make Sabine more likely to talk. It paid off when Sabine completely relaxed again, giving a light laugh.

“No, your father wouldn't have mentioned her as I never told him she existed,” Sabine said, glancing at the watch on her wrist. “But if you would like, I could introduce you to her. I'm supposed to be meeting her any minute now, for brunch.”

Although Cass was tired, she needed to know whether this person was a threat, so she nodded and trailed along after Sabine to a fairly popular cafe. There were a number of people around, a pair of older women speaking loudly, a large man with a teenager laughing, a group of uptight businessmen, having a serious conversation…

Cass wasn't sure what to think when the large man looked over to them and waved, but approved of the way the teenager gave her an appraising look. There was a sharp intelligence in the kid's eyes and Cass approached the table with Sabine. Sabine said something in rapid fire French that Cass didn't have a hope of following.

When the large man stood abruptly and moved to grab her, Cass immediately ducked out of the way. The teen pulled the large man back, surprisingly strong for someone so small. She said something in French, and the man looked chastened. Cass straightened out of her slight crouch when the teen turned back to her, changing to Mandarin.

“Hi, I'm sorry about my dad,” the girl said, smiling ruefully. “He was just excited to meet you. Mum told us about you when I was younger so when she explained who you were…well, anyway, I'm sorry. I'm Marinette!”

“Hello,” Cass said, growing more confused. Why were these people being so friendly to someone they'd never met? And why had Sabine told what was obviously her family about Cass? Marinette got a funny look on her face before she turned back to Sabine.

“Maman, did you tell Cass who we are?” Marinette said, rolling her eyes when her mother said that she hadn't. “Not everyone likes surprises, Maman. Let's start again: hi, I'm Marinette, your half-sister. My dad, Tom, is technically my step-dad even though he raised me.”

“Sister?” Cass felt like she had stepped into another universe. She had a sister? One who had apparently escaped the life their father had forced Cass into and had two loving parents. Her tired brain decided it was too much information right then, so she simply nodded and joined the family for the meal.

[mi-rae07]

arranged marriage trope with cold hongjoong! but he gradually softens up when the reader got hurt by another man hehehehe

Kim Hongjoong : Take Me Home

Pairing : Kim Hongjoong (Ateez) and named character (Jung Hyein)

______________________

A/n : birthday post cuz posting on my birthday is mandatory. Also yes, I was born on American Independence Day.

_______________________

Hyein sighed as she entered her house, a house that was not really home. Because her home was with a person, that person being her husband. Except this one did not love or care for her, as you would expect husbands to. For theirs was a forged marriage, forged for the benefits of their own respective companies, it was the usual for families like them.

Except jung hyein had always wished for love, against all the odds. But in the end, she was trapped in a loveless marriage. And even worse? It was one-sided. Or so she thought.

Hyein : did you have dinner?

Hongjoong : no.

Hongjoong did not even look up from his laptop as hyein kept her bag on the living room couch next to the one hongjoong was sitting on, his eyes focused completely on the task at hand.

Hyein : do you want to eat, hongjoong?

Hongjoong : mm.

Hyein : is that a yes?

Hongjoong sighed and closed his laptop, standing up as he walked towards the dining table before saying

Hongjoong : yes.

And soon enough hyein and hongjoong were sitting on the dining table, having their dinners quietly. Until hongjoong broke it.

Hongjoong : there's a party tomorrow.

Hyein : mhmm?

Hongjoong : and I wish for you to attend it with me.

Hyein smiled, looking down at her food as she whispered

Hyein : as your pretend wife.

Hongjoong : you are my wife, hyein.

Hyein : legally, yes. Not really though, no?

Hongjoong sighed, looking away as he took another bite of his noodles. For him, she was everything. Hongjoong didn't know when and how hyein had morphed from almost a stranger to someone hongjoong cared for within the span of 5 years, but she had. He didn't know how to define love, since he had never really been in love with anyone before. But he knew hyein was different to him, in ways he could probably never explain to her. Which is why he kept his mouth shut.

Hongjoong : will you attend the party with me, hyein?

Hyein : of course I will. Just as you have attended parties for me, I will do the same for you.

Hongjoong hated the way hyein made everything between them sound like some barter system. One for one, and another for another.

Hongjoong : also, your mother called.

Hyein : daily check ins to know about where our baby-making system's reached, I'm sure?

Hongjoong : something like that. It's been 2 years since she's been doing this, hyein. Don't you think we-

Hyein : what, have a child? Hongjoong, I don't mind having a child. In fact, I'd love to be a mother. Except I don't want to raise a child in a situation where their parents are married because they were forced to. You and I don't love each other, and our child will grow up seeing us, and believe that love does not exist in this world. They will believe everything is done for the sake of benefits. I do not want to raise a child like that. I want them to have a family, an actual, family.

Hongjoong sighed, closing his eyes as his hands clenched on the fork.

Hongjoong : so, we're just going to have to keep lying to your mother?

Hyein : we've done it a million times before, what's another one more time.

Hongjoong : hyein-

Hyein : I will attend the party tomorrow, hongjoong. I hope you have a good night.

Before hongjoong could say anything more, hyein stood up and left the dining table, the only thing lingering in the dining room being her perfume.

______________________

The party was not what hyein had expected it to be. Of course, she had attended a gazillion parties before but this one was different. It was less formal, less crowded and less to her liking. Hongjoong was sitting next to her on the table, having his dinner as he talked to his friend. Hyein wasn't paying attention. Instead she was shifting in her seat in discomfort, her eyes glancing to and fro at the man who had been staring at her since the second she had stepped into this party. It wasn't a nice stare, and hyein wasn't liking it. But who the hell was she going to complain to?

Hongjoong : hyein!

Hyein flinched as she looked at hongjoong, who was now staring at her with…concerned eyes? Did she just zone out?

Hongjoong : are you alright? Is something wrong-

Hyein : no. no, nothing's wrong.

Hongjoong : I need to go and talk with one of my business partners over there, do you mind being here alone?

Hyein looked at her plate, realizing she hadn't take a bite of her food.

Hongjoong : you haven't finished your dinner, which is why I asked. If you do not want me to leave-

Hyein : no it's alright. Go and talk, I'll be fine.

Hongjoong : you're sure?

Hyein gave hongjoong a small reassuring smile before saying

Hyein : very.

Hongjoong nodded and walked away from her, going over to talk to his partner. Hyein let out a breath as she picked up her spoon, determined not to look at the creepy guy who was now at the bar counter. Still staring at her, of course.

But after a few minutes hyein started getting anxious as the man's stares started to run along the exposed curves of her body. And she finally couldn't handle it anymore. And so hyein got up from her seat, walking towards where hongjoong had gone earlier. She needed him, because even if he was cold and didn't love her, he always protected her. And she needed that, or even just standing next to him.

But before hyein could walk any closer she felt someone pull her away, a hand covering her mouth as her eyes widened. She tried fighting in the person's hold while screaming but the music was too loud and she too weak compared to the person behind her.

Hyein felt tears in her eyes as the person dragged her outside the hall, banging her against a nearby wall as he chuckled at her state. Hyein whimpered as she tried pushing the man away, that only causing him to pin her hands against the wall with a groan.

??? : You've looked too good to be sitting in that table alone since the second I saw you, love.

Hyein : I am not alone, I have a husband.

??? : Really? I can't seem to care, though?

Before Hyein could say anything further the man's lips went to hers, sucking on it as Hyein felt tears roll down her cheeks. She desperately tried fighting him, not opening her mouth for him. But when she felt the man touch her hips, Hyein let out a sob, that allowing the man to kiss her even deeper. But even then she turned her head away before squeaking out

Hyein : please no. No no stop! Please!

??? : Shut up, princess.

The man was about to dive in again when someone punched him right in the face, causing the man to move away from Hyein as he fell on the floor with a cough. Hyein looked up with teary eyes, the sight of Hongjoong glaring at the man with fiery eyes coming into her view. Hyein quickly stepped behind hongjoong, tears flowing down her cheeks as she felt a sense of relief wash through her tensed body. He was here now.

Hongjoong moved to further shield hyein's body with his, still glaring at the man as he asked

Hongjoong : did you consent to this, hyein?

Hyein : no! No I could never.

Hongjoong : then he's going to pay for this.

Hongjoong stepped forward and pulled the shocked man up by his collars before saying

Hongjoong : how dare you touch my wife, you filthy bastard.

Hongjoong punched the man's face, causing him to groan as blood trickled down his nose. Hyein flinched, her lips trembling as she clenched her hands.

??? : who the fuck are you?

Hongjoong : her husband.

Hongjoong landed yet another punch on the man, this time his fists coming in contact with the man's guts as he fell on the floor with a hoarse cough. Hyein stepped back as she stared at hongjoong with wide teary eyes, never having seen this side of him.

??? : Stop! St-stop please!

Hongjoong : you didn't fucking listen when she said the same exact words to you, did you?

Hongjoong kicked the man's stomach again with his shoes, causing the man to double over as he now coughed up blood. Hyein needed to stop hongjoong before he killed the man.

Hyein : ho-hongjoong.

Hongjoong turned to face hyein quickly, his eyes showing worry at her tone of voice.

Hyein : I-

Hyein cut herself off as the man got up and ran away from them, holding his stomach in pain. Hongjoong was about to go after him when hyein said

Hyein : no! No please don't...please don't leave me.

Hongjoong walked towards her, shaking his head before saying

Hongjoong : I would never leave you, hyein-ah.

Hyein : I was so-I was so scared. I thought he would-

Hongjoong : no. No I would die before I let anything happen to you.

Hyein crashed into hongjoong's arms with a sob, her heart racing as she shut her eyes tightly from fear. Hongjoong's arms quickly wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him before whispering

Hongjoong : I will always protect you, hyein. I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier. I'm so sorry, I let this happen to you-

Hyein : it isn't your fault. Just...just stay with me, please.

Hongjoong nuzzled his head into her shoulders, stroking her hair gently before saying

Hongjoong : I won't leave, I promise.

___________________________

The fear still hadn't left hyein. Hyein was now sitting on the passenger's seat of hongjoong's car as he drove back home at a steady pace, not wanting to scare hyein further. But she already was, the man's touch still lingered in her body. Hyein's breathing was unsteady, her hands clenching and unclenching against her sides. And she thought hongjoong hadn't noticed but he did, he always did.

Hongjoong : hyein.

Hyein did not respond. Hongjoong sighed, bringing his free hand towards hers before laying it atop of hers. Hyein flinched at that, quickly looking up at hongjoong

Hongjoong : you're not breathing properly, hyein.

Hyein looked back straight, biting her lips as she shook her head.

Hongjoong : hold my hand.

Hyein : hongjoong-

Hongjoong : just do what I say, hyein.

Hyein held hongjoong's hand in hers, his thumb immediately caressing the top of her hand as he said

Hongjoong : now breathe. Forget that monster, and breathe for me, hyein-ah.

Hyein : I can't, hongjoong. I've tried-

Hongjoong : yes you can. You're my hyein, you're the strongest person I've ever known, you can do anything.

Hyein looked at hongjoong with shocked eyes, not having expected those words from him. Hongjoong brought his hand to her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears before he whispered softly

Hongjoong : please, for me. I need you, hyein.

Hyein bit her lips and tried breathing properly, her hands clenching around hongjoong's as she tried to calm her mind down. And for some reason now, she was successful in doing so.

_________________________________

She was successful in being able to breathe properly, but not forgetting the things that man had done to her body.

Hyein entered their house as hongjoong locked the door behind them, hyein's hands still clenched together. She now felt weird, she felt disgusted at herself. An unknown man had kissed her against her will, and the feeling of his lips on her still made her want to throw up.

Hongjoong : hyein?

Hyein looked up at hongjoong, his eyes still showing worry as he kept the key away.

Hongjoong : hyein-ah, what's going on. You're still not okay, tell me what's wrong?

Hyein looked to the floor, her hands fiddling with each other. She decided there was no point in lying to hongjoong.

Hyein : do you...do you feel disgusted with me?

Hongjoong's eyes softened as it grew wide, quickly shaking his head as he held her hand desperately. He hated how she could even think something like that.

Hongjoong : no! No hyein, don't you dare speak that way about yourself. You are the most dignified, respectful woman I've ever seen. None of this is your fault-

Hyein : but I kissed another man.

Hongjoong : no you didn't. He forced you, sweetheart.

Hyein looked up at the use of that nickname, hongjoong cupping her cheeks before whispering

Hongjoong : don't do this to yourself, you cannot.

Hyein : how can you even want me after all this-

Hongjoong : because I love you!

Hyein flinched at that, her eyes widening.

Hyein : wh-what?

Hongjoong : god, I love you, jung hyein! I love you and I cannot see you hurt like this, knowing it's my fault I couldn't protect you.

Hyein : you…you love me?

Hongjoong : I've loved you since as long as I can remember. And I will love you as long as I can remember, hyein.

Hyein's eyes teared up at his words, a small whimper leaving her lips as hongjoong pulled her towards him and whispered

Hongjoong : you're the best wife I could ever have asked for, there's no one and nothing I want more than you. And I do not care if another man kissed you, but my love for you will not lessen. I will not let that happen.

Hyein looked up at hongjoong, her finger coming up to slide along the corner of hongjoong's lips as she whispered shakily

Hyein : then kiss me. Make me forget, take me home, hongjoong.

Hongjoong : do you really want to?

She had always loved him, and it turned out he had too. What more did she want?

Hyein : yes I do. I want you, all of you. I need it.

Hongjoong let out a breath, leaning forward and capturing hyein's lips in his. Hyein wrapped her arms around hongjoong's neck as he lifted her up, carrying her to their bedroom. Hyein kissed hongjoong all the way up to their room, this time feeling like she was floating in plain air. There was no disgust, no unhappiness, only bliss and desire.

Because he was what she wanted, he always has been. He was her home, just as she was his.

______________________

[salarta]

Toxic Nostalgia, Sexism, and Havolaris

I think most people who will see this post have by now seen the awful page of Havolaris junk for an upcoming comic. I've already said some things about it, and we all know the vast majority of people flat out do not want it.

So why is it happening? Two reasons: toxic nostalgia and sexism.

To deal with this problem, we have to look back at its root. When she was introduced, Lorna was the most feminist X-Men representation for her time. Even with elements like Iceman saving her, she was still depicted as more willing to speak her mind, more willing to insist she was her own person, more willing to question presumed authority and find her own path.

That's very different from how she ended up treated like a damsel in distress supporting character for Havok and punching bag for other characters to beat up for their development.

So what happened? The bottom line is she was created at a time where comics were more sexist, and the penalty of her standing out as the most feminist female X-Men character around was tearing her down.

This COULD have been a temporary problem. But then Claremont wrote the X-Men for over a decade. And when he wrote, he decided that instead of fixing those problems, he would reinforce them. He wrapped up his time writing Lorna with her as the perpetual victim always in need of Havok to guide and save her.

That became the core for what I've referred to as toxic nostalgia. Even as 90s X-Factor and other work fixed some of the damage done by Claremont, it retained the sexist elements in which Lorna existed to be a constant victim and supporting character for Havok.

That became what people like Tom Brevoort (currently running the X-Men office) saw when looking at Lorna through their nostalgia goggles.

These people grew up with this sexism framed as some kind of grand ideal. They grew up with Havok appearing to be some cool leader they should identify with, with Lorna as the wifely "I'll do anything for my man even if it means dying as a decoy so he can get a better shot at our enemy" supporting character to his hero's journey.

They do not see Lorna's value as her own character. They don't understand the basic concept of every character having their own thoughts, feelings and motives.

These are people who make up excuses to justify their thinking Lorna is a nobody that deserves nothing, rather than spend any time at all questioning their own assumptions. Whether it's Brevoort making convoluted excuses about "genetics breeding true" to try to claim Lorna can't be Magneto's daughter (yet Siryn can be Banshee's) a decade ago, or Jordan White trying to explain away Lorna winning the X-Men fan vote as "oh she was on Gifted so people thought her winning would bring the show back."

These people don't like to think. They just want to indulge in their bad habits even when the root of those habits comes from discrimination.

In short, when we're pushing for better for Lorna, we're not JUST doing it for the character. We're also doing it for a deeper principle of wanting and expecting better out of the Marvel of today than the Marvel of its sexist past.

It's inevitable for today's Marvel to not show its sexism with Storm, Jean, etc. They're high profile enough that these people know they can't get away with sexism without losing their jobs and ruining their names. The reason they stick with it with characters like Lorna is because they think she's so low and unimportant that they can get away with it.

That's what we're dealing with when we see the Havolaris page that recently came out. And why they refuse to acknowledge Lorna as a survivor of many things, especially the Genoshan genocide.

To recognize that Lorna is a survivor of the Genoshan genocide is to recognize she has worth for herself rather than as a damsel in distress and supporting character for Havok. Recognizing that part of her means recognizing that she deserves better, and questioning mistaken assumptions held across decades since their formative years.

This is why I always note that this fight for better is going to take a long time. Could take decades. We're gradually undoing damage that got inflicted across decades, and it's always easier to destroy than to create.

Do not let bad behavior and setbacks discourage you from trying to bring positive change. It will pay off. We've seen periods where it's paid off already, and the moments like this one only happen because these reactionary assholes are afraid of the progress they see taking place. Don't give them what they want.