#we're gonna see how far I can get without having to give them names lmao

[tigirl-and-co]

Bone-White, Ch1

After the events of Chulip, Love Interest decides she wants to remain independent for a while. She’s now experiencing the consequences of that decision.

This is an angst fic. Keep that in mind.

This is a semi-polished draft, once I’ve had time to really work it over it’ll go up on AO3!

Criticism is okay since this isn’t a final draft, but please be kind! It’s been around a decade since I’ve tried to write anything with real consequences. Pointing out spelling errors is greatly encouraged, however!

In the spring and summer it had been fine.

Long Life Town was known for mild weather, perfect for her late-night stargazing habits. Sure, in the summer it got a little hot and she got a little sweaty, but it wasn’t bad -- not like this.

Things back home weren’t good. Her parents were working on it, trying to argue less, but it still wasn’t good. And the boy who had moved into town early that spring (they were dating now, the talk of the town!) had offered to let her stay with him and his father, but she was stubborn, and it was improper besides.

He had bought her a blanket, though. A birthday gift. It wasn’t much, but she knew he was poor, so he must have spent a lot of time scrounging around for stuff to sell to afford it for her.

She thought about that as spasms wracked her body. How kind he was. How he had gone around helping everyone in a thirty-mile radius just to apologize for making her uncomfortable that first time.

One measley blanket couldn’t keep winter’s icy hands away from her heart, but she was still infinitely grateful for it. For him. She was too cold now to go to his house and thank him again, though.

Policeman walked by on his nightly patrol, and she wasn’t stupid enough to call out to him for help, if she even could.

She hoped her boy would stop by tonight with some of her dad’s sweet potatoes.

She hoped she’d live that long.

~~~

When her boy snuck in with two hot sweet potatoes and a raggedy coat that matched his own, he found her cold but still breathing.

She wouldn’t respond to anything he did, and in a panic he set the tubers in the crook of her curled-up body and laid the coat on top of her in a desperate attempt to keep her warm before dashing off to get help from the closest place he knew.

~~~

Dr. Dandy was startled awake by violent shaking and hoarse yelling. In his drowsy state all Dandy could think was that the kid needed cough syrup, and fast. Once he was truly awake he realized how absolutely dire the situation had to be to inspire this sort of wild reaction from such a quiet kid.

As soon as he sat up his sleeves were being tugged at, urged to rush as fast as he could. Dandy slipped out of the kid’s iron grip just long enough to slip on a jacket and shoes before his hand was grabbed and he was yanked out the door.

The frigid air forcefully shocked his senses awake, and the full moon illuminating the bone-white snow made it easy to see.

...Easy to see the giant, unused drainage pipe he had been stopped in front of. He had walked past it every day and never stopped to look inside. Why would he? He’d just find more concrete.

He had, of course, noticed that Goro and Julie’s only child spent her days sitting on top of it, staring at the sky and daydreaming.

He hadn’t realized she was living in it.

Dr. Dandy had been the one to help deliver her, way back when he was still an understudy. He had been there for her first breath, and by God he didn’t want to see her last.

He got down on his hands and knees and crawled into the pipe, ignoring how cold it was on the exposed skin of his hands. He gently grabbed her, blanket and all, and as he picked up the bundle of girl and fabric, two cold potatoes tumbled to the ground.

He shuffled backwards out of the pipe and rushed her into the blessed warmth of Yabu Hospital. It wasn’t hard; his new patient was much lighter than she should have been, and it didn’t take a doctor to realize she hadn’t been eating well.

Some small part of Dandy’s mind noted that familiarity was good for the mental recovery of patients, and so while the majority of his brain was distracted by running down a mental checklist of what to do in this scenario, his autopilot directed him to the first room she had ever seen.

He had forgotten about the young boy tailing him until he stopped next to the doctor, not yet tall enough to keep up with Dr. Dandy’s long legs and purposeful stride. The doctor turned to look at him, taking in his wild, frightened eyes and ragged jacket.

“You probably saved her life tonight, did you know that?”

The distraught look on the kid’s face didn’t change.

“Go home and get some sleep, kid. You’ve done everything you can for her, and now it’s my turn.”

They both knew the kid wouldn’t be able to get any sleep, but Dandy hoped he’d at least be able to rest a bit. No dice, though. The boy turned his head to look behind him, but ultimately stayed in place, looking determined.

“...Listen. we’re wasting time she doesn’t have. I’m going to go into that room and do my best, and it’ll be a lot easier to focus if I don’t have another kid to worry about. Come back tomorrow during visiting hours -- if she’s awake, she’ll be excited to see you. If she’s not, maybe just having you by her side will help.”

And then Dr. Dandy did his least favourite thing in the whole world: he lied.

“It’s very unlikely she’ll die tonight. Coma at the absolute worst.”

With that, he rushed inside the room to begin taking care of his patient.

[lunar-years]

time loop from the bingo! or jamie-father fic

I have another ask about the father-fic so I'm gonna give you time loop!

I still only have the one idea for it, which I've posted about before. But to recap, the gist is: Present-day Jamie is dating Roy & Keeley. Then somehow, he ends up transported back in time and waking up in a time loop spanning a few days in season 2. At first he think his biggest problem is that Roy still hates him and he's not yet talking to Keeley really in this timeline, plus he has to watch them be all lovey-dovey together without him (which is much worse this go-around than it was the first time, because now he knows exactly how good it feels to be a part of it). But it gets much worse when he realizes the days he's reliving are the lead-up to and actual event of playing Man City at Wembley (and the subsequent aftermath with his father).

Jamie then has to navigate trying to convince Roy (& Keeley, though that's far easier lmao) that he is in fact stuck in a time loop and they are both in love with him, actually, at the same time that he's being forced to keep reliving one of the worst afternoons of his life. When he refuses to get his dad tickets, there's no need for Roy to comfort him. When he lets his dad come into the locker room but stands up to him as soon as he starts hurling abuse, there's no need for Roy to take him home. Basically, whatever route Jamie tries he can't convince Roy to care about him long him enough to listen to him, and he starts developing a complex that Roy only ever got over his hatred for Jamie and then they became friends and then they became lovers all because Roy pitied him at Wembley for having a dad who hits him. And he starts thinking the only way to fix this is to let it play out like it had the first time, just let his dad abuse him so he can talk to ROy. But at that point does even want to talk to Roy? is it even worth fixing things if that is how his boyfriend sees him, as someone he needs to feel sorry for?

ANYWAY...when I first posted this idea I'd scrapped it for a number of reasons, namely:

obviously as a time loop fic we're already going to be defying logic, but the time loop PLUS time travel PLUS the time loop spanning multiple days somehow felt like a step too far, lmao. and also annoying to keep track of when writing.

there's really no point to it? Like I sort of felt it was just Jamie whump for the sake of Jamie whump and it wasn't going anywhere. I want there to be a point to him getting caught in the time loop. What is he meant to learn?

i didn't know how to end it

BUT now that it has appeared on my royjamie bingo card I do sort of feel like it's fate and I should write it. plus people seemed interested in it! And i think I've figured out the mechanism for what spurs the time loop (a fight between Jamie & Roy about how he's handling his dad in the present day, which kind of dregs up some fears of Jamie's that are mostly subconscious and he therefore hasn't realized until now have been sort of plaguing the relationship for a while).

it seems like a big endeavor for a bingo fic though, so it will probably be quite some time before I actually write it because I've already got a longer fic going I want to finish first (ironically, Jamie-father fic, lmao).

[nonbinarynightcrawler]

okok omg it's been a minute lets see if I can remember everything without having my notes in front of me (This post is going to be SO long bc I am going to attempt to include relevant art I am so sorry. There are also quite a few Fortune Looks in here since he pretty frequently switched up his disguise during this arc. Also sorry) [I reached an image limit LMAO. I will be doing a second part to this post]

You said the last time I updated properly was about him dealing with family/patron-related drama - that was back when he was about to die, panicked and used an item the Traveler gave him, and said item bamfed him directly in front of his mother. Which would be the first time he'd seen her since he ran away seven whole years ago

He was in a magical disguise, but he said exactly one word and his mother definitely recognized his voice. He bolted, because that's the only way he knows how to deal with things, and did not stop until he was off his family's estate and found a place to hide away in his hometown.

The party was still roughly a full day's ride away, and he didn't know exactly what to do. The cleric, Adelaide, called him twice while he was running. The exchange basically went.

"Fortune. Where the hell are you. I know you're not inside the big purple worm anymore because I specifically use magic to make sure I know where you're at when we're fighting but it doesn't work when we're far enough away. Are you alive." "UHHHHHH I'm home now. Please hurry. I can't be alone here."

So the party wraps up the quest the were on (killing some purple worms in a quarry) and heads off with the intent to get to Fortune's hometown as soon as possible.

Fortune holes up in his favorite old cafe for a while, but he's nervous and antsy and his thoughts are going a mile a minute, so he only sits still for about 45 minutes before taking off again. He has time, and he needs to do something before he reached full panic attack mode.

So he goes to his old best friend/arranged fiancé's family estate. He's been thinking about his friend, Kel, basically since he knew they were going to be passing through the city. He sent Kel a letter that essentially said "hey uhhhh I'm gonna be in town. can we talk? also my name is Fortune now xoxo" He has no idea if it has gotten to him yet.

So he ends up at the estate. He finds one of Kel's little sisters, and asks if Kel is home. He's not, but she goes to get her other older brother, Nasar. Fortune claims to be an old family friend, and makes sure the two of them are alone before dropping his magical disguise and going "haha uh... surprise?"

Nasar, bless him, took things pretty in stride. Even as Fortune was all fucked up and covered in worm guts and trying very hard to explain himself. He asks if Nasar can hide him from his parents, since he can't exactly go home right now. Since he ran away and everything.

Apparently, Fortune's family said he had been sent to a convent as an explanation for his disappearance - because he was so against the idea of getting married.

Nasar kind of shrugs and said that all "worked out" in the end. Because the engagement agreement wasn't fully broken off, but just shifted - the Sabets promised a daughter to the Summercrowns, and they had a whole other daughter to promise. They had to extend the engagement since Fortune's younger sister (Bless) just very recently turned 18 etc etc.

Fortune tries to explain a little more, Nasar still takes it very in stride.

King shit.

There's some more back and forth. It is determined that Kel is not actually at home today, Fortune cleans up a little, gets some more info, and leaves another little letter with Nasar to give to Kel when he comes back. Some of the info includes - The Sabets are throwing a party soon. Fortune could just talk to him then - Bless has been given a lot of control recently, and she seems to be the one in charge of her social calendar/party planning etc. - There is also a chance that Fortune's parents will not make an appearance at said party. That's odd.

As he is heading back to the cafe, he catches somebody tracking him. It's been a long day, he's not happy. It is determined this person has been hired by his family. Several years of pent up paranoia come crashing into place as he realizes that yes, his family has definitely been having him tracked since the second he left home. (He's the one on the right here)

Back at his little cafe spot, Fortune tries to hold it together.

It's fine. He's fine.

The Traveler pops in, says some cryptic shit as they do, and bamfs back out. They finally confirm that Fortune's mother is the one that originally invoked the rite that has caused them to watch over Fortune, but doesn't elaborate at all. Fortune, already mid-crisis, tries to compartmentalize the idea that the ONE thing he thought he did for himself was actually STILL caused by his family's influence. He's doing great.

Which is DEFINITELY helped when his sister straight up just sits down in front of him and starts talking.

She throws a lot of information at him. The biggest one being "I don't really mind being married to Kel, but it's not my first choice. I won't be crushed if it happens, but it doesn't seem fair to him. Break up my engagement for me so that you take all the heat for it k bye~"

The party finally gets to town, Fortune tries his best to get them up to speed, and he buys them some fancy outfits for the party the next day. They take a lot of what he says in stride, but also don't seem to fully grasp the gravity of anything. (Fair)

As they approach the party the next day, the group finally starts to realize exactly how much money Fortune comes from. We're talking "most influential family in the province, name recognition in most circles" levels of money.

He tells them who they're looking for, briefs them on the protocol for a Fancy Fantasy Regency Party, and they all go off to enjoy themselves.

By "enjoy themselves" I mean, Hazel and Blue (the druid and the wizard) sneak into the house and start snoopin' on Fortune's sister. God bless them. They manage to break into her room, and then break into a secondary secret room hidden behind her wardrobe.

Inside, they find a MASSIVE crystal ball, a book of notes, and a bundle of Fortune's hair. She has very clearly been spying on him, and has been using a WICKED powerful magical artifact to do so. A magic item that belongs to the cleric's church, and might actually be a relic that has been missing for several hundred years.

They grab the relic, Fortune's hair, and Hazel also digs out a bundle of what appears to be secret love letters from one of Bless's drawers. Hazel thinks blackmail might be needed in the near future.

While all this is going on, Fortune has manage to locate Kel. Parties aren't really his scene, so he's hanging out at the stables behind the estate. Nice and quiet, probably even a little bit of privacy. Fortune is excited and terrified. It is nice to see him enjoying himself out with the horses, though. Kel always liked horses.

Also it uh. Turns out the sickly lil firbolg kid he knew got very tall and very hot.

Fortune takes that well.

They have a very long talk. Fortune apologizes a lot, and tries to explain that he didn't leave entirely because of his arrangement to Kel. It did factor into things, but it was less that it was Kel and more that Fortune hadn't figured out his identity yet and the thought of being someone's wife made him feel sick. The chat is awkward, but they seem to work most things out, and Kel says he's just happy to have his friend back.

They hug, I scream, Fortune tries his best to NOT be his weird gay self about it because their regency-ass hometown has a lot of rules about public displays of affection. Fortune introduces Kel to the party, and they're all as normal as they can be about it. Adelaide gives him some knowing eyebrow wiggles, Blue climbs up onto his shoulders to get his vibe. Fortune continues to be extremely gay.

Kel informs them that he can't hang out to get to know them better because the Sabets have invited him to dinner. Fortune decides to crash said dinner. Kel is visibly excited that he gets to spend more time with Fortune. After Adelaide sends a message to Fortune's dad about them attending (not asking), they all regroup and kill time before then.

Dinner is. Tense. The party gets to learn just what Fortune's family is like. And that Fortune is visibly afraid of his father. Bless spends a lot of time being weirdly touchy-feely with Kel and trying to one-up Fortune's friends. His mother is quiet and makes a few jabs about him leaving, and his father is openly hostile, interrogating him about what he's been up to and how any of it has been helpful to the family. Even so, it's pretty clear the only reason he is there is because his wife asked him to behave. After a particularly terrible jab about Fortune always dragging the family name through the mud, Fortune stands up and has to step away for a minute to avoid getting them all thrown out.

Hazel tries to probe into Bless's mind while they're chatting, and immediately gets slapped back out. She hears a little chastisement from the Traveler (Fortune's patron) and has her passive mind link ability temporarily severed for the first time in her life. Understandably, she freaks out.

Meanwhile, Fortune's mom has gone after him. Her demeanor has changed completely, and she shares a very sweet moment with him. She uses his chosen name, and says she was hoping his scars were part of the disguise he's still wearing. (This entire time, he's been in that purple look, which makes him look much more like his sister. He refuses to unpack that at all.)

Fortune takes a moment to regroup as his mom goes back to dinner, and Hazel sprints out to find him and let him know there's something weird going on with the Traveler and his sister. Fortune is hanging on by less than a thread at this point, and takes it as much in stride as he can. He's basically reached emotional capacity.

After dinner, Blue convinces Fortune's dad to chat with them about their mission into the desert. They learned Fortune's family has been sending expeditions out there to retrieve magical artifacts, and Blue figures they could at least get some idea of what they're getting into. For Regency Reasons, the men go to talk business and the women split off to go chat. Fortune is, to his dad's credit, allowed to join in on the business talks.

The ladies (Hazel, Adelaide, Bless, and Fortune's mom) have a very tense conversation. Adelaide very pointedly praises Fortune as much as she can. After she mentions that Fortune is very good at protecting her and the party, Bless suddenly stands up and walks out. We file that information away.

The guys hammer out an agreement to get in contact with the Sabet's guide. Fortune isn't... really in a place to talk much in front of his dad, so he slips out and goes to see what state his old room is in. Everything is under a dust cover but basically untouched. He pokes around, picks up his old favorite book, and is about to leave when a letter falls out.

Said letter is from uh. One of the BBEGs of the campaign. The Shadow, specifically, who is kind of half posessing the wizard. Said letter is dated about five years back (well within the memories that we know Blue is missing, it's a whole thing) and is extremely manipulative. Even Fortune can kind of see it, but he gets a little distracted.

A little spooky shard of black glass falls out too. Fortune takes a deep breath and quietly compartmentalizes, like a lot of things that have happened in the last 24 hours.

The party manages to convince Kel to meet up with them after dinner. They have to kinda do it secretly because of more Regency Rules, and they'd like to chat with him without a chaperone there.

For the first time, Fortune drops his magical disguise around Kel. He seems pretty relieved. He missed his friend.

This does not last long. Remember that relic that Blue and Hazel snagged after breaking into Bless's room? And Fortune's hair? And how she was spying on them? And that Kel is engaged to Bless? Well. They immediately start sharing this information in front of Kel, leading to a lot of confused and alarmed nodding.

And Adelaide is furious. That a teenager had a relic of her church. That she was able to use it. That Blue and Hazel kept this information from her. She and Blue have a shouting match out on the balcony while Fortune tries to do damage control, which doesn't go great because Atlas and Hazel start telling Kel about Fortune's magic and his link to the Traveler.

Adelaide storms back into the room, pushes her face against the giant crystal ball (known as the Eye of Darya, rumored to be her actual third eye that she dropped onto the material plane before leaving it) and immediately passes out and starts bleeding from her eyes.

A mortal wasn't meant to use the item like that. Adelaide basically saw all of time and space condensed into one second. It ripped up her mind pretty badly, to the point that she got some stat debuffs she's STILL trying to figure out how to fix. She gets a vision about the temple we're going to, and then gets zapped. It is also implied that every time she uses her divination magic, she will be open to entities other than her god influencing her. Remember this.

The party revive her after some panic (Kel tries to help, despite almost passing out at seeing the blood, bless him) and Fortune tries to get Kel away from the party once it's clear Adelaide is not dead. He tries to do more damage control while walking Kel down to the stables, but things seem off. Kel says he's going to ask Bless about some of the stuff the party said, insisting that she's his fiancée and even if he's not thrilled about the arrangement, she still should share with him.

While Fortune has a mini breakdown while Kel rides off, the party sees a little raven perched on the balcony. It looks suspiciously similar to the bird we saw hanging around the Sabet estate, and because we were still under the impression she's a warlock of the Traveler at this point, we do not like that. Hazel blasts the sucker out of the sky. She gets some psychic damage, but thing is gone for now. HOWEVER... by the time Fortune makes it up to the room, the party has been kicked out. It seems like Bless bought out basically... every free room in the city to displace them and be petty.

The party packs up and goes to find a camping spot outside the city. Fortune, still deeply fucked up by the events of the last 48 hours, says he'll catch up with everyone because he needs to go get drunk for just a little bit. Everyone is understandably preoccupied with Adelaide, who looks like death, and they wave him off to go do that. Atlas sends his familiar off to keep an eye on Fortune, but isn't clear enough with his instructions. We will get back to that.

While the party settles in for bed, Fortune is approached by someone at the bar. His mother, deeply upset and disappointed, tells him to follow her. And when he doesn't listen, she casts Command on him. My poor low wisdom boy doesn't have a choice, and climbs into her carriage with her. While on the way to the estate, they have a couple very odd conversations.

Fortune is drunk and fed up with everything, and keeps just. Saying things. He ends up learning that his mother doesn't actually seem to be in direct contact with the Traveler, and that his fancy magic sword is apparently a lost family heirloom. His mother seems... sad. She asks for his help, admitting that neither of her children seem happy. Ever. Fortune, being a drunk asshole, just kinda shrugs and says "yeah, we're fucked. if Bless is anything like me I think we're just like this. Shit, that." He also lets slip that maybe he does not always enjoy being alive. This seems to upset her even more, understandably.

His mother has essentially placed him under house arrest. He's lead to his room and locked inside, where he has a sad little drunk tantrum before passing out.

He doesn't get to sleep for very long. His sister wakes him up, slaps him across the face with a glove, and demands a duel. She's furious for a lot of reasons, but the only reason she'll own up to is Fortune running around her fiancé without supervision. Sure, Bless. Fortune is still drunk and absolutely close to a meltdown and almost immediately agrees.

They've dueled before. Their father would regularly pit them against one another as children. Bless is pretty convinced she's a much better fighter than Fortune, but he also absolutely was never fighting her for real. At the oldest, she was ten during their duels. He wasn't about to really fight someone in the single digits when he was almost a legal adult. He probes a bit as they prepare for the fight, and learns that she has no idea who the Traveler is. She is able to summon a sword just like he does, but the magic feels... spooky and wrong.

He doesn't get to think about that very long. He's drunk, exhausted, pulled his first strike out of habit, and she gets multiple attacks per round. Two rounds in and he's almost down. And the whole time, Bless is berating him (honestly, rightfully) about how he left and how he was a terrible older brother. Their parents have apparently been fighting about him since the moment he ran away. When she nearly breaks down and tells him that she was there the night he left, waiting for him to come back and take her with him, he fully stops fighting.

He apologizes for not protecting her from their parents, but undercuts the whole thing by being VERY dramatic and shitty about things. He tells her to kill him. Actively guides the sword to where she should hit him. She implies he won't be the first man she's killed before, but hesitates while he keeps talking. It's a lot of dramatic, self hating bullshit, and after a point she just... kinda sneers at him and walks away.

She leaves him bleeding out on the ballroom floor. He drags himself back to bed, has a nice cry about it, and falls asleep.

Atlas tries to check in with his familiar, Luka. She kept an eye on all this going on, and catches him up on the situation. He takes a moment, kind of sighs, and says as long as Fortune isn't in immediate danger, they can figure out what to do tomorrow when Adelaide isn't actively dying. He catches Hazel up before swapping the watch out and heading to bed.

On her watch, Hazel tries to contact the Traveler. They show up, and she kinda tears into them. They more or less throw their hands up and say that it isn't their job to keep Fortune SAFE, just to watch him, and anyway he's home now which is what his mom wanted in the first place.

After some more back and forth, Hazel trades a bit of gossip for a lore drop. She learns that there is a connection between druid magic and the divine gate. That druids are part of the balance between the material and the divine planes, and the reason they were systematically hunted down a century ago in an attempt to break the gate down. Poor Hazel has a lot to take in about her heritage, and the Traveler refuses to elaborate further.

The next morning, the party makes Plans. Atlas is on edge about Fortune being stuck at home. He sends a message through his familiar, but Fortune is essentially... broken at this point. He's tired. He's stuck at home. He hasn't had a long rest and is functionally a light slap away from death. He doesn't believe his family will let him leave. He insists that the party doesn't need to save him. Again. Like they always do. Atlas does not listen.

While the party groups up, Fortune is taken to breakfast with his mother. He is not given a choice. Exhausted but still kind of angry and attempting to be rebellious, he rejects the outfit she picked out for him and puts on his old pirate getup, open shirt and all. When he gets to breakfast, he sees that his sister and Kel are there as well.

Fortune immediately rats his sister out for the duel, and his mother says they'll deal with that later. She seems to be trying to pretend that nothing has happened, and even that Fortune never left. She has the day planned for them, and has decided Fortune is going to help her plan Bless's wedding. He sasses her as much as he's able, but is also reminded that he is, in fact, still scared of his parents.

[I HAVE REACHED THE IMAGE LIMIT PLS HOLD]

[cookinguptales]

You mentioned feeling the need to wait for the season to be over to start writing fics about s4 and I'm the same way! I feel like I have so many ideas for fics I want to explore but like, we still literally know next to ✨nothing✨ about what's going on with these characters!

We don't know anything about Freddie (besides his name and that's only bc of leaks/the episode title), and we barely see Marwa so her feelings/motivations are still unclear. We don't know why Nadja is stealing from the club, if there is a reason besides general mischief. It's still unclear if there's anything sinister or foreboding going on with Baby Colin. We don't even know for sure how many wishes Nandor has left! And of course the biggest one - we still have NO IDEA what happened in London for that entire year.

I love being kept on my toes this season, and not being able to guess what's coming next, but DAMN we're all just here collecting crumbs in between episodes!

I guess we know a little about Freddie from the scene that leaked [SPOILERS] like what he says his job is, the insane bullshit Guillermo's told him about himself, and Nandor's initial reaction to meeting and hearing about him [/SPOILERS] but tbh you never know how much a scene is gonna change between casting and the final product so I'm taking all that with a grain of salt. We definitely know they've changed characters significantly a few times after casting them, so I'm not taking anything about Freddie as canon until we see it onscreen.

I guess for me I just feel like I have to understand the characters and their motivations better before I can write them well again, and a lot of that is the reveal of those things you said, but also just like... Guillermo in particular is such a mystery right now. He's got far less time in interviews and when he does speak to the camera, he's often actively hiding things from them. In previous seasons, Guillermo spoke to the camera almost like a confessional, so he was a very open book even if he did sometimes lie to himself while lying to us. This season I do think he sees the camera crew and audience as figures he needs to purposefully mislead. Freddie and the embezzling are the two biggest reasons, I think, but I would not be surprised at all to learn that there are more.

It's really hard to know what he's thinking and feeling without hearing more from him and knowing what he's been up to this past year. It's something that's causing me an increasing amount of frustration, being honest. lmao. He'll sometimes do something and you're like "well, that's new and different" and you just have to kind of figure that it's character development that happened offscreen, which is... my least favorite kind of character development. (I remember reading in an interview that a few times Matt Berry was like "would Guillermo really say/do that?" and Harvey had to be like "well, he would now!" and I was like hahahaha but also yikes.)

At this point I just have to have faith that they're going to actually give us that information eventually, in a roundabout way. I would have preferred to see some of these changes unfold organically, but like. We get what we get lmao. And once I have as much info as they're going to give us, I can start synthesizing it into all the fic I have on my list!

[dragonbugsuperior]

Something that I've been meaning to say about Miraculous's "Rich Girls".............

Before I even go into this, All you Lila, Chloe, and Kagami stans out there I suggest to skip this post, leave disgusting comments and I'll block and report you because I'm saying it now, that I will be saying some things about Lila, Chloe, and Kagami that aren't really pretty. If you like their characters "Yay!" good for you,

Nobody cares. grow up

So........something has been on my mind lately and I would like to get it off my chest because it's just been stuck in my head and I think it's good if I do make some clear points that clearly people are missing in regards to the show's "rich girls". So Marinette.....has been going through alot this past season and people are saying stupid things like "Oh wE NEeD a NEw LAdyBUg!"

Or "oH MArINeTtE iS teRRiBlE At dOiNg heR jOB!"

Let's dive right into this

I'll start with Chloe first. Chloe bullied Marinette. She has for 7 whole fucking years. Marinette has done nothing to Chloe literally. She hasn't bullied her, talked about her, criticized her, she has done nothing to that girl. But oh! Chloe is some rich snobbish brat that thinks everyone below her should be treated less of a human than she is. Where was her mom when Chlow started to go to school with Marinette? Also Chloe's mom not playing a big part of her life doesn't excuse her terrible behavior and awful treatment she has given marinette and students at her school. Just because her mom is a total snob and shallow person doesn't mean Chloe has to be exactly like her. It's okay for Chloe to express sadness and frustration but what's not okay if for Chloe to lash out all her negativity on Marinette as if Marinette has done something to her. Her parents have really failed her and she has failed herself. She's so full of herself that I'm starting to believe she's delusional. Clinging onto Adrien 24/7 at school like their some type of couple is already mouth-gagging. Like girl, he is not some toy that is all yours and that you can just cling yourself onto. I'm glad Marinette calls her out on her bullshit and handles Chloe's ass and she's not afraid to do so.

And that tacky ass makeup really defeats the purpose because it's makes her look worser than her personality. Tired of these blonde stuck up popular rich girls that think they can just overrule people.

Treating everybody around her like her peasants is clichè mean girl shit. I'm willing to go as far as to say she's a fucking narcissist. Having excessive interest and admiration for herself and treating everybody around her like shit as if she's 10 times more important than they are when in reality she's nothing but a spoiled brat that's jealous because she knows Marinette is better than her.

2nd to last....Lila

Literally 'lie' is in her name. She lies her mouth off and thinks she's fooling every fucking body. Marinette knows damn well she's lying and tells her up to her face in Chameleon. I'm sorry but her lies are ridiculous and the class is so undeniably stupid for believing her bullshit. Yea she's another "spoiled rich girl" her mom is present in her life but we know nothing about her dad. Don't know what happened to him and I don't care to know what happened to him. I know one thing though. Just like in Chloe's case, her dad being absent doesn't make it "okay" for her to be a two-faced person who can pathologically lie to people for personal gain. That's disgusting and weak of a person. She literally frames Marinette and corners her in the bathroom to a wall and pushed herself down the steps to look like she's actually injured. Her fans can try to shed all the light they want on her character but that's never gonna erase all the terrible shit she's done. And once again! Marinette has done nothing to Lila and somehow Marinette is Lila's main target. She lied about her friendship with Ladybug just to impress a boy. Her negativity she's trying to pass onto Marinette isn't working because Marinette is strong and optimistic. I can't believe she had fans, cough looks like a knock-off version of Dora cough. She's so stupid she really thinks Adrien wants to be with someone like her. A liar and manipulative bitch. lol

Kagami.......

"But Jen she's only been a character since season-

Yea I already know how long she's been in the show but that doesn't mean that I'm going to get her the benefit of the doubt. First time she met Marinette she treated her terribly as if Marinette did anything to her. Then again, people like to claim she's from a strict household so that gives her an excuse when it really doesn't. Secondly Kagami in general seems phony, Marinette is trying to be her friend and give up on Adrien just for her!!! and so she can grow as a person!!!!! Kagami chose Adrien over Marinette while Marinette gave up Adrien just so Kagami can have him. Seems like the only reason Kagami really wants to be friends with Marinette is because of Adrien. But let's not get into that.... In Animeastro she acted like she had a problem Marinette was talking to Adrien. I just don't get her at all. One minute she wants to be Marinette's friend (which I believe is completely fake) and then the next she's glaring daggers at her as if she did anything to her.

I don't even want to fucking hear "Oh but Jenny, Marinette didn't confes- SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Marinette has tried time after time to confess she's always getting interrupted. Kagami thinks of Adrien like some prize to win all for herself after only knowing him for not too long. Give me a break then she's the one who got akumatized over a fucking picture instead of asking Adrien "hey, what's this?" She got salty and got akumatized. In Frozer, Adrien told her that he had feelings for someone else, she jumped to conclusions and thought it was fucking Marinette and suggested him to "switch targets" he told her he wouldn't and she still pushes him to literally kissing him and then getting mad because he rejected it. Girl! Did he not fucking say that he has feelings for another girl and he won't be switching targets. She's really that desperate that she's telling Adrien to get over that other girl, and she's so fucking desperate she tried to kiss him then got mad when he didn't kiss her back. Let's not forget she literally cut out the fencing class picture and left Adrien and herself out. Then she gave us a little "insight" on how she views Adrien in Oni-Chan. "Image of Perfection" she likes Adrien because he's perfect? That's funny. Because for 1, he's not nobody is and for 2 that's a stupid reason to like somebody. Let's not also forget when she literally lied in Miracle Queen about the villain attacking people in love. She knows Adrien likes somebody else so why is she trying so hard to push into being with her? Desperate much? "We're so alike" and Kagami really believes their soulmates? She should just shut the fuck up. She sounds stupid as fuck. How are you "soulmates" with someone you just met not too long ago. Bless her delusional soul. After he rejected her kiss and only knowing him for 2 seasons. Liiiiike......are you that desperate for a boy. I can't wait to see her reaction to when Adrien dates Marinette. Lmao

It's so funny how all these girls think Adrien's theirs when in reality Marinette is his true soulmate and is gonna end up with him in the end. Adrienette is literally endgame. There's no need for people like Chloe, Lila, and Kagami to get on the way of that. It's also funny how people like to claim Marinette as the possessive one when all these rich spoiled brats have gotten akumatized over him, cling onto him like he's some coat rack, and go out their way to make Marinette feel terrible. And marinette has given Adrien up. The only real clear reason I can see the 3 of them act bitchy towards marinette without a reason would be because they're jealous and don't have the best lives at home and wish to be like marinette.

If I'm not mistaken who's the one that got bullied for 7 years straight and tries her very best to be strong? Who's the one that literally got sexually harassed by Felix? Who's the one who has anxiety? Who's the one who has pressure and responsibilities hunched all over their shoulders? Who's the one that has go around every fucking day to save their city? Oh okay. Everybody always wants to talk about how tough they are without actually going through some real shit. Because I don't recall Lila, Chloe or Kagami going through any of these things while treating Marinette like shit. Kagami is the one that lied to Adrien, Kagami is the one that treated Marinette like crap, Kagami is the one that pushed Adrien after he said he had feelings for someone else /this b*tch didn't even wait/, Kagami is the one that is acting like Lila and Chloe. Let Marinette act like how Kagami did, I'm pretty sure she would've got bashed.

Once they go through all that bullshit then we can chit chat until then, they don't know what struggle is. Spoiled ass brats who clearly don't deserve Adrien because they're immature. They think Adrien's "theirs" they pushed themselves on him as if they can't live without him and they do sneaky shit in order to be with him. Lila and Kagami have clearly showed they would lie to get with him and Chloe does too. Marinette has the courage to let Adrien go, I'm pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot Kagami would never let Adrien go.

And before people go around saying how it's their parents fault they act do toxically and immature (bc ppl like to give them excuses for their "mommy and daddy" issues) it's really not. Yes, it's partially their parents because they raised them but they also have a big role for their actions. No body is responsible for making Chloe, Lila, or Kagami a better person. No body. Stop putting the blame all on their parents because it's not just the parents I'm pretty sure Tomoe didn't teach Kagami to "lie" in order to get with a boy. Kagami chose to lie to Adrien in Miracle Queen with her own free will. Nobody said "lie to Adrien" Kagami lied that's her fault Nobody told Chloe to bully and belittle Marinette, Audrey is very shallow and brat-like but I don't recall her ever saying "Chloe bully Marinette" Nobody told Lila to constantly lie and manipulate people hell, her mom doesn't even know she's doing it! None of their parents are responsible for certain shit they do so stop pretending like their innocent kids that have horrible parents. I don't have time to analyze if Kagami is like Chloe and Lila or not because I know she is like them she acts just like them. Treats marinette like crap but acts different when Adrien's around. Simple. I tried to give her character a chance in Oni-Chan but after hearing how she views Adrien and how she acted in Miracle Queen I hated her even more than I did before.

Truth be told, Chloe, Lila, nor Kagami are nothing without Adrien. If we're really gonna go there. Their just some pointless characters that want to get in the way of things and can't stay in their places. Marinette made this show, she's the center of the plot, without her their is no Chloe, without her there is no Lila, without her there is no Kagami.

Call me absent-minded but I see alot of jealous hoes and I'm not with that shit at all. Sorry not sorry

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #6: August 13, 2021

Okay, okay, I know it's a couples days later, but I can assure you that I did not forget; I purposefully, and kinda without a better option, didn't post on Friday, and you'll see why.

So the day started off pretty regularly: I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower, and then sat around playing games and watching YouTube for a bit.

That was until my friend showed up at my house...

He called me and said to come outside, so I did.

It wasn't long until I got into his car, and we started driving.

I definitely should have been more anxious or nervous heading out, but for some reason, I just sat there with my head absentmindedly poking out the window, not really thinking about it.

I really wish I had grasped the situation a little better.

We got down there after an hour and a half of driving and we parked a bit away because there were so many people there, so many people there, in fact, that we just got some food until it calmed down again.

It was gonna be a great fucking concert.

Hella Mega Tour 2021, originally supposed to be Hella Mega Tour 2020, but postponed for obvious reasons.

We shopped for a tiny bit beforehand, not buying anything, and then headed over to the stadium 45 minutes before the concert was set to start. We were let in about 10 minutes later, and we filled our contraband water bottles that we managed to hide on the way in.

We sat there for a bit, me just listening to music on my Redmi Buds 3 pro.

I love these things.

Pretty soon the music started, and it was The Interrupters; everyone was feeling pretty lazy for this bit.

It's not like they were bad or anything, they were actually pretty good, but I guess everyone was just getting situated and didn't wanna bother using up all of their energy lol.

So The Interrupters' set is up, and they tear down the stage and reset it. Before too terribly long, Weezer starts up, and there's a lot bigger reaction from the crowd than there was before: people knew the songs, like Africa, Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, and Feels Like Summer to name a few.

I was getting into it a bit, I knew a good few of the songs, I was moving along, I sang a bit, took some video.

What's cool is that I could feel myself moving along the scale, like going from no excitement while no one was playing, then tapping my foot and grooving to The Interrupters.

When Weezer first came on, I was just sitting there like, "alright, this is good shit." Towards the end, I was quietly singing Buddy Holly, their last song for the night.

I say quietly because there was a lot more loudness to come.

I should add that, up until this point, the music had been kinda unbearably loud, the highs really piercing and hitting hard.

Additionally, up until this point, I had been trying my best to document the concert with videos and audio recordings; it wasn't so much about enjoying the concert, for I've always been taught just to record stuff and not worry about the concert.

I don't think I've ever really enjoyed any of the concerts I've ever been to; I was there, but I wasn't. I didn't really know too many of the songs, and I had only listened to the artists in passing, not to mention the fact that my mother had been at every other concert I've been to, which is stifling in itself. I really can't enjoy anything when she's around.

But here we were; it was starting to get dark, and Fall out Boy was coming onstage. The crowd was getting into it with Weezer, and it was time for Fall Out Boy. The energy here had far exceeded both Weezer and The Interrupters, and this went for me as well.

I was sitting there, singing along and still occasionally recording, but I didn't have my phone out too much. I started to dance in my seat with every song, for I knew almost every one: Sugar, We're Going Down, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark, Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy, The Last of the Real Ones, Save Rock And Roll, and Dance, Dance being a few.

Throughout this set, everyone was singing along, but the real fun had yet to begin; the scent of smoke from the flames and fireworks finding its way through the crowd, the music now strong instead of piercing, a sense of unity between everyone in this packed stadium, between people of all walks of life: men, women, children, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gay, straight, lesbian, ace, black, white, Asian, Mexican, young, old, middle-aged, and everything in between and outside... It didn't matter who you were or where you came from; you were at a fucking party, and everyone was gonna fuck it up once the main act came on stage.

Meanwhile, everyone was more than happy to celebrate with Fall Out Boy and some of their greatest and most memorable tracks.

Part way through Fall Out Boy's set, I decided to get off of my ass and join the growing number of audience members who were really getting into the groove and feeling the music.

It was so close to becoming an explosion of energy once Fall Out Boy was about to leave the stage.

After they left, the set was torn down once again and set up for Green Day.

Their was a low mix of music playing through the speakers all the while things were being set up. Once the stage was set, the music continued for a bit, but was then cut and replaced with a voice and lyrics that everyone knew immediately.

"Is this the real life. Is this just fantasy."

The crowd sings along to every word.

"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

Freddie's voice poured out into the crowd, and the crowd sang them right back.

"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see"

The song continued, and the whole crowd sang to the very end.

This really goes to show how impactful some people and groups can be on our lives... Although no one at the show was connected to Queen or Freddie Mercury, everyone who came to see these 4 bands still knew this great group.

Once the song was over, a mix of some of the most famous rock anthems began to play:

"We will, we will rock you"

"I love rock and roll"

"Hey, Ho, let's go"

A glorious piece all lead up to the 4 running onstage, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jason White, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, joined now by 2 new members, Jason Freese and Kevin Preston.

All at once, it was an explosion of strong and passionate guitar jamming, soon followed by the drums and vocals of American Idiot. All at once, the crowd was rocking along with bopping heads, stomping feet, and swaying bodies. I only had my phone out to record for a short moment before I put it away and scarcely removed it from my pants for the rest of the concert.

I couldn't help but feel cocky, as a bi/pansexual (idk which one lmao), being allowed to sing the line,

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America"

I was like, "You straight bastards better not be singing that line ��"

It was absolutely incredible; the crowd cheered passionately and wholeheartedly at the end of every song and solo, after every quote from the band.

The coolest part about the concert was the fact that everyone just lost themselves in the music, as well as that everyone, without hesitation, followed what Billie Joe said. He says jump? WE FUCKING JUMPED. He tells us to scream? We. Fucking. Screamed. And when he wanted us to sing, we sang. I mean, okay, we were singing the whole time xD. I'm sure we would've sang if he told us to and we weren't already doing so lmao. What he said was our law, and we were doing our jobs as the dutiful citizens of Suburbia by following those laws.

It really is hard to express the level of pure energy at this gathering, especially when it radiates from every point in the packed stadium.

I screamed so loud and hard, and sang so long and passionately, that my voice started to go. But. Guess. What.

When you're at a place like this, no matter what, you just have this insatiable urge to keep going no matter what. When my arm got tired of throwing my fist in the air, I kept fucking going and even used the other arm too.

It's such a strange feeling when you feel like you're about to give out, like your voice is gonna break, or you're gonna collapse from dehydration and exhaustion, but you find around you the strength and power to keep on going, no matter how quickly your vocal health deteriorates.

Ask my friend, I couldn't speak properly after that shit xD. He even threatened to send a video of me talking to my choral teacher, who honestly would have been mad at me lmao.

Meanwhile, Green Day is playing some of their greatest hits, old and new alike, and I knew every single fucking one of them. I sang every song, and only took a break between 2 of them to down my whole bottle of contraband water in 3 seconds flat.

At one point, the band stopped playing, and Billie spoke into the microphone.

"Get your pretty lights out. I wanna see the pretty lights."

Everyone got their phones out and turned the torches on, as per his command.

"Turn the house lights off."

The lights go off, and the stadium is lit up almost as bright as it had been before, but this time with the lights of thousands.

"Look at that."

It was honestly an incredible moment.

That brings me to another point: when you go to a concert, you're not just paying for the music, you're not just paying to see a band, you're paying for an experience.

Let me tell you, this was one hell of an experience.

If you don't leave a concert feeling fulfilled, then the performers didn't do their job of giving you the experience that you paid to be a part of. I'm so happy that these four bands, especially Green Day, were able to deliver.

I really did love every moment of that show, which is such a rarity for me. I'm really happy that my friend took my mother's place. I can't fucking enjoy everything when she's around.

Oh yes, it wouldn't be one of my daily blogs without me talking about how my mother consistently pisses me off. Don't worry, I have some happy shit left to end on.

I swear to fluff though, she always manages to ruin everything for me. When we went to see The Lion King on Broadway, she insisted on coming with. That meant that I wasn't able to relax in my seat because this disgusting woman was sitting next to me and I had to cram myself to the side of my chair away from her. It meant that I wasn't allowed to cry when Mufasa died or during Can You Feel The Love Tonight because I knew I'd get made fun of for it.

I even went to a Fall Out Boy concert before, her refusing to let me go myself, and I didn't sing a single song because she'd just tell me to let the professionals handle it.

And for fuck's sake, the time she compared me trying to fucking validate my existence as a trans person to her wanting a car... That will always fucking piss me off.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about how she ruins everything for me.

I literally cannot be myself around her. I've always been judged and ridiculed by my parents, and still am. I can't enjoy anything when they're around because I'm too focused on trying not to get made fun of or yelled at.

That being said, that concert was absolutely fucking incredible. I was with thousands of people who felt the same way that I did, and I could fucking jam out if I wanted to.

Apart from everyone being really on top of their game, and Billie Joe basically not aging since he turned 25, the only really notable thing left to say about the performance was when they pulled a kid guitarist onstage. He played for a bit, and they ended up letting him keep the guitar lmao.

BEST PART IS:

I SAW THE KID AFTER THE CONCERT, AND I WAS LIKE,

"Omg, hey, can I get a selfie with you?"

I was trying to be really low-key and quiet cuz I didn't wanna draw too much attention to him lmao.

The security guard was like, "Yeah, sure, but hurry up."

I TOOK THE PIC REALLY QUICKLY AND THEN HEADED OUT

HERE IT IS

YES, OF COURSE I BLOCKED OUT MY FACE

But I absolutely love the vibes of this photo xD. It's blurry, the lighting is shit, and you can barely make out any details. It has a lot of character, and I would take this over a clean, clear photo any day.

Walking away, the kid's mom said, "You're like, the coolest kid ever now."

Agreed.

Then it was time to go home. Honestly, I didn't feel sad that it didn't last longer, or disappointed that I had to leave. I was actually very satisfied and fulfilled with what happened, which is honestly the way it should be.

Driving home, I stayed awake by sticking my arm out of the window and letting the cold rain hit fast like tiny needles.

I got home.

I passed out.

Although, that was technically on Saturday 🤔

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY LONG ASS BLOG FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH

I hope you enjoyed

Be good people!!!!

-Leonna

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Enough lowkey happened on that camping trip that this can be near the start of the holidays, like we already been knew but we're pretending still at this point that none of this is real okay lads, obviously they at the stage of pretending to be more life and soul than they actually are 'cos all the fakery so when she's in a mood and gone off it's more noticeable, you feel?] Jimmy: [that's a whole fat mood even if he doesn't actually find her with Harry he'd still be like UM hello] Janis: [I don't think she shoulda 100% come out with the intention of doing this but when she wanna (cos Jimmy, obvs, we know Harry is not that hot or charming really lol) can't it's like well this isn't real so I can't ask him so I wanna be with someone who I can for real, like it could be anyone but he's the obvious choice...apart from that, I think we can go] Jimmy: [100% agree it's not like a calculated bitch move and we know how messy they get at parties so] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yep Janis: fresh air Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: 🚽 Jimmy: Oi you're not 🤢 are you? Janis: Fuck off Janis: 'course I ain't Janis: only room with a lock Jimmy: what's up then? Janis: that song was so offensively shit Janis: can't hear myself think Jimmy: come outside Janis: why? Jimmy: I'll pick you a 🌹 obvs Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: a valid one Janis: if I've gotta act 😍 over that, how big the crowd I'm walking into is, etc Jimmy: it's quieter out here, dickhead Janis: idk, could run a bath and go under Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact's for two Jimmy: can we both fit? Janis: the bath is suitably impressive Janis: no marble though so I'm disgusted, obvs Jimmy: won't somebody think of the blood splatter? 😒 Jimmy: let me in then Janis: What kind of proposition is that? Janis: Give me five minutes Jimmy: so high maintenance, you Janis: If you wanna be known as the kind of boyfriend who has to watch their girlfriend take a piss, be my guest Jimmy: who are you talking about my kinks to, girl? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no need Janis: all 👀s on us at all times Jimmy: yeah and I look like a right dickhead Jimmy: hurry up, Janet Janis: go 🚬 Janis: I'll be there in a few Jimmy: love when you tell me what to do Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: I'll add it to the kink list to 📢 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when it's so awkward like hope there ain't an audience bye] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos standard but is looking at her like ??] Janis: [taking it and just smoking for a bit 'some nights, this is just more inconvenient than others, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['Nah, it's inconvenient every night, mate' shrugs but is clearly like what the fuck do you mean] Janis: [🙄 'obviously but-' shrugs but in a idk how to word this now kinda way '9/10 when we ain't putting on a show we can still do what we want, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like go on and taking a big drag while he works out what that means and then takes a hot sec to answer we all know why 'depends'] Janis: ['yeah, it's the depends, ain't it' nods like we're on the same page now 'the shit you wanna do but technically can't 'cos it jeopardizes the whole performance, even when you ain't'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like what even though he knows cos gonna make you say it always #thatbitch] Janis: [just the longest smoke break lmao 'like if we actually wanted to hook up with someone at this party, we can't'] Jimmy: Bathroom door's got a lock on it Jimmy: you said Janis: Obviously Janis: as if there's any chance of 'cheating' without every cunt seeing Janis: they seem thick but they're well up on all this gossip bullshit Jimmy: not with that 🥉 attitude Jimmy: 💕 conquers all, Jules, ain't you heard Janis: Now I'm an amatuer, yeah? Jimmy: do you need me to say it again using the 📢? Janis: how many lasses you had in there tonight then Jimmy: As many as I want Jimmy: [walks away rudely] Janis: alright Janis: message received Jimmy: is it? Janis: Nothing cryptic about it, really Jimmy: we don't need coded 🗨 Jimmy: save that for whoever's meeting you in the bathroom Janis: I doubt I'd be meeting anyone if I had to go to that length of espionage Jimmy: Oi 💀👑 would go to the ends of the earth for you, my dear Janis: 💀👑 can also manage a game of chess, so I hear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as romantic nights in go, you could do worse Janis: Romance would not be in his vocabulary, if he knew he had one Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: 💔 or 👍 Jimmy: Delete whichever one Janis: Doing someone else to make you jealous is a cliche too far, I reckon Jimmy: good job that ain't why then Jimmy: you can crack on Janis: Bill would be well let down Jimmy: I ain't got a balcony for him to haunt, it's alright Janis: 🤞 the lack of marble don't vex him then Jimmy: wouldn't be my first 👻🥊 if he really wants to get a mard on Janis: 👍 in a bit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [later but not like hours obvs] Janis: you still about? Jimmy: weren't gonna just do one without telling you Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [in my head he's having a drink with some art hoe from his class cos saying they're chatting would be a stretch lol] Janis: 💕 Janis: [obvs like oh but recovery of coming over and having a swig of his drink like bonjour] Jimmy: [gives it to her so he has the excuse of going to get another one cos doesn't wanna talk to either of them rn] Janis: [oh the small talk you are not making, this girl, soz hun] Jimmy: [when you just in the kitchen like this takes longer than it does/you can't poss push through the peeps to get back] Janis: what's her story then Janis: why is she so 😪 Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: Got enough to 📢 about you Jimmy: and what? Janis: so stalker or you should at least be able to pull a name out your arse, like Jimmy: Why? I don't remember yours and you're my missus Janis: Hmm 😏 endearing quirk or a sign of early-onset dementia Jimmy: weren't that early 👴 me Janis: True Janis: be back in 🚼 'fore long Jimmy: if you've forgotten how old I am, might wanna get your own 🧠 checked, mate Jimmy: and yeah, your kinks are blatant, calm down Janis: I've been around enough actual babies to know I don't wanna pretend to look after one in my me time Jimmy: I ain't around you in your personal time Jimmy: let you off the 🕛 Janis: no one wants to fake hear about my adult baby kink, dickhead Jimmy: Dunno where I put my 📢 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: are you lost Janis: you've been ages Jimmy: now you miss me Janis: She wasn't much company Jimmy: I don't need to tell you, she ain't the only dickhead here Jimmy: or to crack on Janis: We'll have to be seen in the same room at some point Janis: or I'll just go home, like Jimmy: Off you go then Janis: yeah, 'cos I can just go Janis: you know how this works Jimmy: You ain't been caught out yet Jimmy: maybe the fans weren't as bothered as we reckoned Janis: 'cos I'm not an idiot Janis: which is what we'll both look if we have a weird domestic now Jimmy: you can leave that right out Jimmy: it's how I've looked for ages Janis: You said I could Jimmy: Piss off Janis: You did, you pretty much challenged me to do it Jimmy: Take the out Jimmy: I don't fucking need you here now Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: if I wanted an out, I'd do it Janis: that was the whole point of talking to you Janis: if you had a problem with it tonight you should've said so Jimmy: If you wanna go home, go home Janis: No, 'cos you want me to go home, I'm not going to Janis: and if you want an out, you'll have to fucking say that too Jimmy: I don't care, Janis Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yeah, fine by me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [storms through this party to go smoke again because that's the mood he's in] Janis: [when you'll have to go break something somewhere 'cos it is not okay, thank God we don't care about whoever's house this is] Jimmy: [honestly there better not be anyone annoying outside cos he will smack you lads] Janis: [seriously I'm like flat whites don't be there we can't be having the levels of violent rn 'cos can't deal with emotions] Jimmy: [likewise thank god he ain't going home to Ian rn cos that'd be a brawl and a half nobody needs] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [he is not drunk enough for this lol] Janis: [when you're so frustrated that was a blatant flop and now you can't leave but can't stay, fun poll] Janis: *lol rude Jimmy: [you had one job Harry ffs] Janis: [must assume he's left 'cos highkey and you'd have to sleep with him and not happening boy] Jimmy: [what do you think she did do before she was like ABORT MISSION] Janis: [it probably got to the usual point and it's like hmm still nothing so maybe she gave him head 'cos frustration honey but then was like good day] Jimmy: [I don't feel sorry for you sir but I do feel sorry for Jimothy because he'd be doing drinking games rn throwforward to their other domestic at that party remember cos only time he ever joins in with that kinda nonsense] Janis: [they're always so grim and you are gonna get so drunk boy, I truly dunno where you're gonna be, casually barricaded in some room you're trashing, like] Jimmy: [imagine some time has passed so he's drunker] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: you in the 🚽 again or what? Janis: no, I'm not Janis: all yours, mate Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: [sends her some flirty shit he's been sent meaning like I gotta hide but it comes across now like I'm gonna hit that #miscommunication ftw] Janis: There's that out you wanted Janis: good for you Jimmy: What? Janis: Don't what me like an idiot Jimmy: Don't be a twat like a twat Janis: Good one Janis: We'll pretend it'd be more scathing if you weren't pissed Janis: I said good for you, what more could I do to not be a twat? Jimmy: How about you pretend to have a word, you've only got the one job, rich girl Janis: What are you talking about? Jimmy: What did I just say? Janis: Why would I fake jealous of a girl you're gonna go fuck Jimmy: Why would you do owt to help me out? Fuck knows, tonight's obvs not the night for that Janis: You're making no sense right now Janis: and like fuck, this whole thing is about helping you out Jimmy: you Janis: me what Jimmy: You're making no sense Janis: This is stupid Janis: we ain't talking in circles Janis: you've got somewhere to be Jimmy: No I don't Janis: well, I'm not the one you need to let down gently then Jimmy: just Janis: I've already given her dirty looks Janis: ['cos you can't be in that room forever, like] Jimmy: [be extra like it's all for that girl's benefit okay boy] Janis: [when you're gonna respond like for like 'cos casual state you are in lawd] Jimmy: [have a MOMENT because god knows you're not gonna talk about any of this so obvs such a good idea to take your mood out this way instead of course] Janis: ['scuse the SHOW everyone but they can't get a room or the pretense is gone so] Jimmy: [also you all love it so] Janis: [ya perverts, lowkey start a softcore pornsite with all the footage y'all take] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [I get it, they're hot and this is low-key exhibitionism at this point 'cos frustrations] Jimmy: [when he's saying he missed her in between this intense sesh but is he saying it for the unnamed girl and the rest of the audience or because he actually wants to and has drunk enough 🤔] Jimmy: [because not saying it in a really extra fake way just genuinely like 'I missed you' bye] Janis: [excuse you, when neither she nor I is drunk enough to deal with that in a sensible manner] Jimmy: [it's fine we know they're not sensible rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [just gonna be saying his name like a reply, can't pretend you don't know his, babe] Jimmy: [nobody can pretend they don't know how into it he is, look away please art hoe gal] Janis: [there's some things you can't fake lads we know it] Jimmy: [especially when you're basically going as hard as you did on the school trip when you wanted Grace and Co to leave that room] Janis: [remember when, Grace does #triggered] Jimmy: [thank god we said she's not there cos this would be worse than that cos Janis is frustrated/angry af and he's angry/jealous af like imagine] Janis: [someone be shameless enough to stop them please 'cos we can't] Jimmy: [I know we've done the police before but have we done someone's parents rocking up? cos how shaming for this party thrower 🤞 it's not my boy Dan] Janis: [I don't think Dan is cool enough to throw a party at all, god bless and goodnight but yes a good idea, we shall do it] Jimmy: [when you have to go from 100000-0 cos nobody's gonna hear the parents key in the door over all that music and chaos so they just there like] Janis: [just running like lowkey what is happening but gotta go] Jimmy: [handholding for Winnie! at least until this boy has to stop cos can't run as fast or far as her] Janis: [don't vom that wouldn't be cute] Jimmy: [catch your breath and you'll be fine my beloved soft sir] Janis: [patting down his pockets like she's looking for an inhaler but obviously is looking for and gets out his pack of cigarettes like there you go, that'll sort you out 😏] Jimmy: [when he's gotta be so 😏 like steady on girl cos he's actually so 😳 and not just from running clearly, thank god for that 🚬 which we can all pretend suddenly needs the most intense concentration on earth like] Janis: [pushes him like shut up but is also 😳 so carrying on walking ahead so you can hide that and take a moment] Jimmy: [not even trying to catch up cos you also need a minute] Janis: are you going home? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: nah Janis: not when I can help it Jimmy: [shrugs like that's the most casual thing he's ever heard but looking at her like where are you going] Janis: [looking back and shrugging, continuing to walk on like let's see where I end up] Jimmy: [checking his phone to see if there are any other parties cos easter hols so obvs and showing her the options like do you fancy any of these] Janis: [a look like 'you wanna do more faking?' like you don't know oh girl and picking the party that's the closest to where they are right now] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I'll take free drinks over going home cos yeah that's the only reason okay] Janis: [nods like I hear that] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her like so come on] Janis: ['alright, alright' and walking needlessly fast 'cos minimal time alone is required] Jimmy: [when you automatically go to pull her back and then stop yourself cos no] Janis: [whether you notice that or nah, clearly pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [smoking and walking even if you have to light another one immediately idk how far this is and neither does he cos never knows where he is lol] Janis: [looking like 'aren't you gonna give me one?'] Jimmy: [looks back like not if you're 6 miles ahead of me but obvs does give her his and then lights a new one] Janis: [slowing down to take it but still keeping a pace ahead] Jimmy: [and he's just on his phone texting back and forth with Cass cos she's not asleep but should be but obvs he could be doing anything cos Janis don't know his life yet] Janis: [shamelessly like oh, take this time to think about your life and choices, babe] Jimmy: [let us take a moment to appreciate the state of them though like all the skin she's got on show and what he would've done to it, enjoy that in a sec Mia you nosy bitch] Janis: [gonna make her night truly, also he's probably feeling even more pissed 'cos cold air has hit him, like] Jimmy: [yeah that's always fun, thank god he didn't have time to get properly wasted cos Janis has enough catching up to do] Janis: [when you're low-key not even tipsy at this point 'cos the dramaaa] Jimmy: [Oh Jimothy you're clearly not serving as much of a look and you're too drunk, I'm disappointed in you] Janis: [we all know he looks good all the time it's rude] Jimmy: [get in this party and get her a drink boy but handholding cos coupleyness activated the second you're in] Jimmy: [I think he should share her drink because cute but also you don't need more rn and you know it but also he should put a song on he's worked out she likes so they can dance because remember when he thought a shit song started this lol] Janis: [make an entrance you two god bless so mad your mood about to get ruined lol] Jimmy: [omg can we say Harry is talking to Mia but bins her off for Janis when we need that to happen because funny and even funnier when they end up dating later] Janis: [ahh the levels of hate just going up every second, obvs needs to happen] Jimmy: [have your OTT dance moment first though like cos Mia cannot compete there even if she wanted to] Janis: [can't risk a collapse like] Jimmy: [literally how is she alive] Janis: [when he's probs shamelessly watching this but you don't notice 'cos 'course you don't] Jimmy: [he'd be so mad that this isn't a moment like soz jj are too busy having one] Janis: ['cos you think she's literally followed you here like oh God, hence she's gonna freak when she does actually see you're here like gotta go, maybe hit a bathroom again but drag Jimmy with you] Jimmy: [boy you wish she'd follow you anywhere bye] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimmy just sitting in a bathtub like ?] Janis: [washing me and my clothes bitch, but seriously, just breathing so shallow like full freak out] Jimmy: [can't not notice so literally but very gently pulling her into the tub with him like sit down] Janis: [reluctantly getting in 'cos you're not ready to walk back through to get out even so may as well, leaning back and sighing like well] Jimmy: [taking off her jacket for her not in a saucy way cos that actually might help her feel better you think] Janis: [just rubbing at your now bare arms and straightening up your posture literally pulling yourself together like] Jimmy: [just giving her time cos not that dickhead who's gonna be like WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TELL ME RN] Janis: ['I fucked up'] Jimmy: [looking at her like elaborate please, but in your own time cos still not that dickhead] Janis: [a look like I truly do not want to do that please lol 'there's someone here I don't wanna see, like more than all the other people I don't wanna see, like'] Jimmy: [nodding like okay that's all I need to hear, getting up like let's go as if they haven't just got there and peeps won't be like ?? or anything because he's not thinking about the fake just the real of what she just said even though it hasn't clicked with him that this could be anything to do with earlier because why would she not wanna see that person as far as he's concerned and putting a hand out to help her up and out too which he so doesn't need to do we see you boy] Janis: [is shaking her head like no wait then makes a 😒 face at herself 'cos does not wanna be this contrary bitch or this bitch freaking out ever but like, it's happened now so- 'we shouldn't go, I already fucked up earlier, we should make the most of that lot being here' 'cos obviously Mia also made herself #seen 'cos when doesn't she lol] Jimmy: [when you touch her 😒 face unthinkingly and softly which shakes you to your core because get control of yourself boy so you make a big show of checking yourself in the mirror for an age like okay I'm ready] Janis: [when you fuck up his hair 'cos a. just that bitch and b. you're meant to be getting it on in here so don't be looking all put together 'amateur' but with feeling] Jimmy: [returning the favour because 1. oi and 2. her hair would be a MESS if you had and everyone knows that and tying her jacket around his waist so he can carry it for her without having to and it's like that thing when boys wear girls scrunchies on their wrists and girls lose their minds] Janis: [raises a brow like what are you doing at first but then nods like touche, as much as you've just said you should make a show for the flat whites, when Mia is talking to Harry again you gotta be like, let's get another drink first ty, hopefully some of the others are in the kitchen] Jimmy: [when you're about to question it by typing cos would never out loud obvs cos you can clearly see 💀👑 but yeah then there are others in the kitchen so you go with that] Janis: [#dutchcourage, least you can be cute/in everyone's way by getting on the counter and just casually wrapping your long ass legs 'round him to 😍] Jimmy: [just gently kissing all those lovebites you made at party 1 making a big show of how sorry you are for each one like thanks for all the bare skin I can use to put on a show yet again bitch] Janis: [truly out here in a bra lmao the confidence] Jimmy: [we're all jealous as hell that she can and looks amazing doing it, especially the flat whites] Janis: [Asia like he wanted me first though lol] Jimmy: [oh girl you wish] Jimmy: [we should have him come into the kitchen to get drinks for him and Mia which she can't be fuming about even though we all know his real motives] Janis: [ugh the level of smug, knowing looks that just make her wanna die, leaning into Jimmy's ear and cupping her hand like she's whispering something saucy to him but is literally just hiding like go away] Jimmy: [when he whispers back but uses the opportunity to ask her if she's alright because not an idiot] Janis: [nods 'I just missed you too' when you say it loud enough it could be for the benefit of the audience but is it or nah, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when now isn't the time or place to push her on what's actually wrong so you just go harder instead which equally begs the question are you trying to distract her/make her feel better or is it for the audience] Janis: [just do the most 'til he says something or goes away kids, speaking of, kinda torn between him not saying anything because he thinks it'll happen again ('cos like it has been repeats thus far so fair) so he's just kinda like smug but not gonna outright be saying something dead obvious to Jimothy to start shit...or getting him that drunk that he does, 'cos we could do it when they're outside smoking or something so the whole party don't actually hear for once? idk] Jimmy: [I like that idea like he doesn't say anything here and now so she's like thank fuck I might have actually gotten away with this but then later when he's drunk he could be like about to go and wants her to go with him or whatever] Jimmy: [I also like the possibility that he could say something to Mia at any point #mildperil] Janis: [that's a good idea, bide your time, dickhead] Janis: [also we know she's snekky so instead of being like um why do you keep looking at her and being salty she can probably get something out of him, she's smart and he ain't really so] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought and she'd love knowing that Janis 'cheated' this early on for JJ so] Janis: [exactly, hence she can nudge Harry into making that post after the basketball match drama] Jimmy: [OMG yeah I never even thought of that] Janis: [masterminding] Jimmy: [ironically Harry getting with Mia cos she doesn't play games which he thinks Janis is rn] Janis: [lmao good luck with that you already being played now and you got no clue] Jimmy: [I almost feel sorry for him but he didn't need to post those nudes so I don't] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [live your best life at this party til later though JJ my babes] Janis: [hells yeah] Jimmy: [it hurts my heart cos they'd both relax thinking shit's okay now and be actually having a good time, fuck you Harold] Janis: [he probably thinks whomever it was has gone, like] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and like not gonna think about it too hard cos her mood has clearly changed and that's the important thing] Janis: [is there anything we wanna do specifically or, how we doing this?] Jimmy: [I think we can probably just skip to when Harry fucks things up because we know the vibe but yeah how do we wanna do that like maybe we can just plot out how it would have gone and see from there cos like she might run away or Jimmy might smack him we don't know lol] Jimmy: [like what do you think he should say/do?] Janis: [Hmm, like you said maybe he comes over and is like okay come back with me though, like enough 'games' now and is ignoring Jimmy so obvs he's like excuse you piss off then when Janis is also like fuck off no so then he's salty and says something when he's walking away like 'tell me how my dick tastes' 'cos he would] Jimmy: [well that's lovely thank you Harry, you're so getting smacked now boy cos his ex was a hoe and he doesn't need to be triggered like that] Janis: [when the worst you were expecting happened and a hoe gotta go] Jimmy: [clearly should try and follow her because how's that gonna look if she leaves without him but doesn't because literally doesn't care about any of that in the moment obvs] Janis: [we're not keeping up the act rn, hopefully there were minimal people about and we can just call Harry a liar later like he's not a trustworthy bitch peeps be known] Jimmy: [yeah I doubt there were many people outside and they'd all be drunk af whoever were and like you said he's not coming through with proof but I hope Janis ain't going to mcvickers gaff cos if Jimothy is going home they'd have to go the same way lol] Janis: [lol imagine, I'll make her run off in a different direction don't worry] Jimmy: [poor bitch she doesn't need the awkward walk of shame] Janis: [she know some places, go work out that aggression again, not that you can but you know] Jimmy: [mhmmm god only knows what Jimothy is gonna do when he gets home cos you can't just casually go to sleep like this is fine] Janis: [I'm like what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say, oh girl] Jimmy: [and how long are you gonna leave it to have the convo too like] Janis: [right, when you wanna do it now to say it, but then you're like, he's not gonna wanna and you're scared too but you don't wanna leave it too long, gay] Janis: [gaaaaaaaaaay 🙄 GAH grammarly GAH ] Jimmy: [he's gonna have to act like he's so not bothered cos it's such early days I'm gonna die] Janis: [okay, I'm gonna say next morning, torture yourself, and inadvertently him, all night] Jimmy: [yassss] Janis: Hey Jimmy: Morning Janis: You alright? Janis: sorry about that idiot last night Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: If you're gonna apologise for every dickhead from last night, do it in a bit, I'm short on time Janis: I won't take on accountability for every cunt, like Janis: just that one Jimmy: Alright Janis: Yeah Janis: you at work? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Oh, alright Janis: well, my bad then Jimmy: I'm in later if you wanna erase your guilt using the tip jar Jimmy: might have another fight in me if it's for 💰💰💰 Janis: Come on Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't take the piss, like Janis: I'm trying to say sorry properly Janis: it was fucking embarrassing Jimmy: he's 💔 give it him Janis: He's an idiot Jimmy: who here ain't? Jimmy: yet to meet 'em, me Janis: Best of luck on that score Jimmy: Tah Janis: I appreciate you punching him regardless Jimmy: it weren't for you Janis: Obviously Janis: still Janis: and he chats shit all the time so, no one will care to remember if they heard anything Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Hopefully they're all too hungover to show their faces in CG today 🤞 Jimmy: 💀👑 don't get hangovers Jimmy: she'd have to swallow Janis: Do spirits have calories 🤔 Janis: oh 👻 Jimmy: give her a bell, you'll have your answer Janis: I'm not feeling that guilty Janis: no need to punish myself like that Jimmy: I get it, you're a fake catholic an' all Jimmy: nowt's real with you Janis: Bit harsh Jimmy: is it? Janis: Yeah Janis: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻💔 Janis: Don't be a dick about it Jimmy: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: I ain't gonna be nice to you, Jill Janis: Alright Janis: well I've said what I need to say so that's that then Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [posts something extra like mhmm yeah right] Janis: [as extra a response like this convo isn't even going this badly rn] Jimmy: [being even more extra back like gotta remind her how fake this is and how much you don't care] Janis: [oh lads, just a back and forth] Jimmy: [for ages like is anyone but Mia THIS invested] Janis: [the answer is no[ Jimmy: [but like it's also shade on his part cos it's like him saying we've done this so now I don't have to see you today, job done] Janis: [we know it and she knows it honey] Jimmy: [and we know the flirty undertone that's real af isn't there that usually is, they are so phoning this in rn] Janis: [this is so sad tbh] Jimmy: [what if they run into each other somewhere that they don't expect to idk where but like they can't pretend they haven't seen each other cos other people have seen them but like it's not a party so can't be that OTT] Janis: [where could it be hmm] Jimmy: [like it could be something he's taking either of his siblings to even but then why is Janis there 🤔] Janis: [tis the issue, unless we go for the park, like we always do but it's real, and if we make it a nice day, teens would be hanging to peep 'em] Jimmy: [oh true] Janis: [I can't think of anywhere else they'd both be and other people to see, 'cos I was thinking we could steal when Ellie was doing the family shop 'cos Janis could do it too for something to do but idk if any other teens would really be there to the level you'd be like 'we must go 'round this shop together' maybe when they're more 😍 again though] Jimmy: [yeah unless like someone worked there and clocked them but even then a bit of a flimsy excuse probably] Janis: ['cos I doubt any of the flat whites are working in a supermarket so yeah] Jimmy: [exactly and my other thought was maybe it was the pool or like a sports thing but Janis already did the school trip for extra credit so I doubt she'd have to do anything else] Janis: [unless she is just there working out 'cos said about being underwater and not able to hear shit so good throwback] Jimmy: [OOOH] Janis: [also the levels of awks like oh hi we're all just here in our swimsuits lollll we're mean but it makes sense, especially if there's like a kid's holiday deal or some shit you know the vibe] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining in angus thongs when her tan 😂] Janis: [thank god you ain't that hoe lmao] Jimmy: [if Asia is there though lol she is] Jimmy: [she could totally have a little sister and be there like] Janis: [just swimming like a mum] Jimmy: [sending Mia JJ updates with her waterproof phone cos that bitch don't swim so she ain't gonna be there] Janis: [when you just want the ground to swallow you up and you're just saying and looking like I am SO sorry whenever you can 'cos you can't just leave] Jimmy: [casually regretting giving her all those lovebites last night now cos that's all you can see and it's not helping you pretend to be unbothered haha] Jimmy: [thank god 😒 is his default expression] Janis: [up in this pool like a woman shamed in so many ways lol, at least the kids are there for some distraction] Jimmy: [we know Bobby is a shy clingy lad so that'd take a lot of his focus and save us all from dying even more than we are, Cass just trying to drown him cos she's mad he stayed out for ages last night too probably]] Janis: [and you're a #seriousathlete so you can go do some laps without Asia clocking anything God bless] Jimmy: [I really hope the Cass and Jimmy playfight splashes Asia and she gets her hair wet] Janis: [the least she deserves for enabling this awkward rn] Jimmy: [imagine how annoying her little sister would be, stay away from her Bobert you are too sweet] Janis: [fucking little Europe or some shit Jimmy: [We should do China or America cos both on this list I just found] Janis: [ew hate/love that] Jimmy: [maybe there's two of them oh lord] Janis: [Grace be so jelly] Jimmy: [not making them twins though cos she would die] Janis: [forever triggered lol] Jimmy: [I'm thinking one around Bobby's age and then one older but still younger than Cass like] Janis: [sounds legit to me, should we skip forward or try to do this a bit and see what happens, idm] Jimmy: [at least if there's two of them she'd be busy herself so she can't stalk them as hard, I say why not try and see what happens] Janis: [so obviously we wanna do races, who can hold their breath longest, handstands, whatever other tricks you can do in a pool] Jimmy: [Cass throwing her key on the bottom to swim for it, Jimmy like no bitch cos she always loses em and he'd have to get so many cut without encouraging that behaviour] Janis: [gotta lay down the law with a child just attached to you lol God bless] Jimmy: [how awks because this is so early on so like they know nothing about each other's lives and Cass has probably instantly decided she hates Janis and Bobby is like 👀 deer in headlights] Janis: [we're all dying lol like Asia please leave] Jimmy: [Jimmy like neither of you say anything about our missing maybe dead mum or dickhead father please while trying not to betray how he feels about this fake dating/ Harry situation...so chill] Janis: [the stress good lord] Jimmy: [thank god he does have work later I said so he can use that as excuse to leave sooner than he actually needs] Janis: [Asia probably gon follow] Jimmy: [ugh true so then he has to ask Janis if she wants to come so she can hear because 😍 obvs] Janis: [at least she'll have the sense to make up an excuse 'cos we don't need to prolong this casual torture lol] Jimmy: [and at least he has his sibs there so the 'goodbye' doesn't have to be extra af] Janis: [at least we're buying ourselves more fake dating time here 'cos the awks and anger] Jimmy: [I'm proud of us but I'm sorry lads before he goes you've gotta have hot chocolate like I always did after swimming I don't make the law] Janis: [my boo insists, also the kids obvs, like he doesn't work in a cafe and you could swing by there, no no] Jimmy: [yeah fuck your pretentious latte art bitch] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: the ☕️? Janis: not bad but don't reckon they'll replace you with a 🤖 quite yet Jimmy: 💧 on my apron Janis: no doubt help with the 💸💸 tips Jimmy: they'd be more 😍 for 💦 or ☔ Janis: too nice a day for the latter Jimmy: [shrugs cos it's april so could happen] Janis: shouldn't have dried your hair Janis: very music video Jimmy: [when you're amused but you have to hide it so you get your phone out for selfies like she gave you the idea cos tbh not trying to get put on a register by taking 📷 in the pool] Janis: [🙄 but 😏] Jimmy: [casual selfie sesh and then busying yourself putting them up like] Janis: never off the clock, eh Jimmy: two jobs'll do that Janis: wouldn't know Jimmy: bit rude to rub it in, rich girl Jimmy: this ain't a 🎻 sorta place Janis: just the kinda rich girl I am Jimmy: You're alright, I'll keep the 🔪 in my back out of shot, know enough 📷 angles, me Janis: it's really bad manners to bleed everywhere, you know Jimmy: I know how to clean up after myself,  that'll be the kinda poor boy I am Janis: 🚫🎻 Janis: you said Jimmy: I weren't saying it to 💔 you Jimmy: not my job Janis: just saying, follow your own rules Jimmy: make me 😘 Janis: not really got room to lecture there Jimmy: room for nowt 🦒 Jimmy: 🚫🎻 Janis: don't be short about it Janis: you're almost entirely in the right, you may as well take it Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: almost Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong 😇 me Janis: Nah Janis: you told me to do it Jimmy: convenient that Janis: is it? Janis: doubt that Jimmy: for you Janis: Yeah, clearly Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: were obvs such a good idea at the time Janis: You only set all this bullshit up for failure, not me Jimmy: how did I? Janis: You literally said it was fine Janis: I was the one saying it'd probably fuck it up Janis: I did it and I've tried to make it up but you don't care and you're offering no solutions so fuck it Jimmy: we don't need owt 'cause nobody knows owt and even if he says owt it'll sound like bollocks Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: yeah 'cos it's ideal for you to have to punch out lads all the time Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might make my dad proud of me Jimmy: a scrap might just be a laugh Janis: you want me to say you're welcome then Janis: alright, that's that then Jimmy: want you to carry round a 🪥 next time you fancy cracking on with dickheads like that Jimmy: but alright Janis: cheers Janis: you give great advice Jimmy: might do, if we were mates Janis: well we obviously aren't Jimmy: 😮😮😮 Janis: whatever Janis: [making these awkward goodbyes] Jimmy: [when you don't want her to go even though this is awful] Janis: [when you cannot take any more though] Jimmy: [pulling her back like he wanted to last night but couldn't cos he can pretend it's so fake lol lol lol] Janis: [when you're like 'what?' all light and jokey for the fake but then you look at him like actually though] Jimmy: [boy quick tell your face, Daniel will be livid, that you're giving yourself away like this] Janis: [just in a stare-off rn] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna kiss her but obvs can't cos too real rn so he's like 'stop being a dickhead' in a whisper like that's what he was gonna do all along] Janis: [when you're actually like stunned lmao 'great advice as always, Taylor' under your breath and then a faker 'see you later' moment for the rest] Jimmy: [😏 because annoying her is easier and safer as is blowing her a kiss like bye babe] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're so irritating Janis: please don't need me for another 3-5 working days yeah Jimmy: I gave you an out, girl Jimmy: It ain't my fault that lad's 🏆 an' all Janis: I knew he was a dickhead before I did it Janis: not 💔 Jimmy: massively your type every 3-5 working days Janis: you reckon, do you Jimmy: you just said Janis: I didn't Janis: I said I knew he was one, not that I was about it Jimmy: if you weren't about it you wouldn't have done it Jimmy: unless you're not about this, and if that's it, take your out Janis: 'cos those are the only two possibilities Janis: I'm 😍 or sick of this and ain't got the balls to say it Janis: well it's neither, tah Jimmy: I never said you were 😍 Janis: alright, my type, whatever, it's the same thing Jimmy: if you wanna get with lads then you obvs ain't gay so we don't need to do this anymore, that's what I'm saying Jimmy: he'd have been happy enough to brag about how straight you are Jimmy: next time take a 📷 and you're 👍 Janis: you really think that thought had never occurred to me prior to this? Janis: if I wanted that, I would've done it ages ago Janis: not my first time, whatever popular opinion dictates Jimmy: weren't gonna chuck you a penny for 'em, my dear Jimmy: If I wanted to wait around at some shit party while another lad sorts out the lass I'm with, I'd have my ex back Jimmy: not my first time at that Janis: all you had to do was say no Janis: not even, just agree with what I was saying Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: tell yourself no, I'm not your fucking conscience Janis: conscience has got nothing to do with it Janis: obviously it'd be wrong if we were actually together Janis: but it's fake so it's just a matter of logistics and if you say you don't care then that's what I'm going on Jimmy: I've got nowt to do with it Janis: Jesus, yes you do, this is a deal between me and you Jimmy: that you were acting put upon about all night so yeah it were fine, to get you to stop marding for 5 seconds Janis: so now it's your turn? Janis: that's a mature way to deal with shit Jimmy: I'd have legged it but you beat me to that, Janet Janis: 'cos you were well in a talking mood Jimmy: I took that hint from you ages before, that'll be why Janis: I tried Janis: this is some bullshit Janis: I tried before, and after, and both times it was all good except it clearly fucking ain't Jimmy: how about you try not to put me in the path of lads you wanna fuck? or have or will do Janis: It weren't even Janis: fine Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: It weren't even what, that you couldn't have called me after you were done? Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: No Janis: I didn't think of it from that perspective, alright, that's fair Janis: this shit is a headfuck Janis: it's not like there are rules, that I've done this loads, enough to navigate it perfectly Jimmy: the only rule is that we don't mess each other about Jimmy: helping each other out is the whole point Janis: Yeah Janis: I seriously didn't think it would, believe that or not Janis: he hasn't bragged about it before but lesson learned Jimmy: I weren't here to mug off before Janis: No Janis: well, like we said, no one's gonna listen to him so as far as damage control goes Jimmy: I heard you the first hundred times you told me that Jimmy: there's no damage control for all the 🕧 waiting around for you in different parts of that massive house Janis: then tell me what I can do Jimmy: if we ain't gonna be in the same room for longer than 10 mins don't bother to invite me Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Janis: I'm not going to do that again, not that you asked but Jimmy: He'd have you back, I never hit him that hard Janis: shut up Jimmy: Alright don't, you can do better Janis: we can all see what he is Jimmy: I weren't giving him 😍 soz to piss on that threesome you had your 🤞 for Janis: 🤢 Janis: stop Jimmy: you can give it all that after you let me be all over you when you were all over that dickhead? Top one Jimmy: if any dickhead's 🤢🤢 it's me Janis: it were complicated Janis: yeah, we should've left Janis: I just Jimmy: weren't trying to have a chat then were you? Jimmy: not a word Janis: so that was selfish Janis: never said I weren't Jimmy: just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I should've gone when you offered Janis: I wanted the night to be worth it somehow though Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: Like you said, we'd barely been in the same room so Janis: would've been a wasted night if we left then Jimmy: I'd take a wasted night night over a weird one Janis: Yeah Janis: it made sense at the time Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't emoji at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno but I was close to absolving some guilt Janis: bit rude Jimmy: save it for confession, babe Jimmy: I'm in black but that's where the similarity ends Janis: I've never been Jimmy: first time's the charm, Nah? Or is that the third? Jimmy: I dunno 😴 Janis: Cheers Janis: I really have to ask for eternal forgiveness before you're gonna bother Jimmy: If you were my real girlfriend, ain't getting The Lord involved for owt less Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: sorry your ex was a bitch too Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: it ain't your problem and she ain't been mine for ages either Janis: okay Janis: still Janis: shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Doubt that Janis: Oh now I talk too much Janis: convenient Jimmy: yeah well chatty, you Jimmy: never know when to stop Janis: yeah well Janis: one of us has to keep the conversation going Jimmy: so #goals girl Janis: Obviously Janis: I feel like my fucking sister right about now Jimmy: Has she been with him an' all? Jimmy: taking the #twinning a bit far there, mate Janis: I hope not Janis: I dunno why you'd make me think of that Janis: I just meant general slagginess and regret Jimmy: I reckon you'd know, hardly the type to keep that to himself Jimmy: Why do you regret it? You said you knew he were a massive twat Janis: I don't know Janis: 'cos he's made me look stupid Jimmy: Only in front of me and I knew you were an idiot 😏 Janis: Thanks Janis: very supportive Jimmy: Do you want me to belt him again? Janis: Only if you feel like it Janis: but it ain't really about him Jimmy: not what I asked, 'cause nah, it ain't about him Janis: No Janis: If you never have to think about him again, that's best for me Jimmy: That all I can do you for, Jules? Jimmy: you don't fancy an overpriced latte or owt, I get that Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: Am I that demanding? Jimmy: Do you want a fake answer there or what? Janis: Cheek Janis: and after you dared to offer me a latte as well Jimmy: I never Janis: Hmm Janis: likely story Jimmy: what's tonight's? Jimmy: we in or out? Janis: I reckon we've done enough to earn a night off Jimmy: Alright Janis: don't you Jimmy: I asked you Janis: Yeah, and I asked you back Jimmy: and I said alright Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Try not to kill yourself at work today Jimmy: And be stuck haunting the CG, you're alright Janis: and you ain't allowed without me Janis: more importantly Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You're the only one I wanna haunt, baby Janis: Yeah, I better be Jimmy: You are Jimmy: 💔 as Asia is about it Janis: she's lucky I didn't drown her Jimmy: If you really loved me, you would Janis: always coming out with this after the fact, aren't you Jimmy: What's more #goals than murdering a love rival? Jimmy: if you dunno that, Jasmine, I dunno what we're even doing here Janis: Rival is a stretch Janis: if you reckon that then you only gotta ask her Jimmy: Calm it down, bighead Jimmy: The DM asking her to attach ankle weights in the deep end has already been sent Janis: gonna be 😭 over her cankles forever now Jimmy: I were 😭😭😭 first Janis: you mean you didn't just have chlorine in your eyes? Janis: awkward Jimmy: it were already awkward Jimmy: leave my 👀 out of it, tah Janis: but they're so dreamy Jimmy: Send tweet Janis: 😏 Janis: working overtime for you, boy Jimmy: I asked you what you wanted, you never answered, girl Janis: I don't know the menu Jimmy: I have to do everything, I see how it is Janis: You wanted demanding, babe Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Stop flirting with me for 1 second so I can make you a drink! Janis: Bet that's what you say to all the customers Jimmy: Depends Janis: if you like it or nah, sure Jimmy: Nah, what I like is nowt to do with it Janis: Tips? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's kinda fucked, you stop and think about it Jimmy: I don't get long enough breaks to stop and think Janis: Poor baby Janis: I've got all the time in the world to ponder for you Jimmy: just keep rubbing it in, you Janis: 😂 Janis: you know you'd hate it if I weren't a rich girl Jimmy: You ain't paying me nowt last I checked Janis: you'd have nothing to take the piss out of me for if I weren't Janis: worth it's weight in gold, surely Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Bollocks would I not Janis: Bollocks would you Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: You're 🥈 Janis: Psh, fuck you Jimmy: And you're only that 'cause my 🥇 makes you look good Janis: Oh please Janis: you must've bumped your head 'cos you sound downright delusional now Jimmy: Beg all you like you ain't having the 🏆 til you pry it out of my 💀💀💀 hands Janis: Me? Beg? You? Janis: now you're hearing things Jimmy: I can barely read and I still saw that please, girl Jimmy: Felt it an' all Janis: shut up Janis: I was asking the LORD to give you some sense, that's all Jimmy: Convenient that Jimmy: Getting him involved again Janis: I'm a good friend and a good Christian 😇 Jimmy: You ain't either, unless you were chatting shit earlier Janis: Who knows Jimmy: He gonna deliver this drink to you on a ☁ or what? Janis: If only Janis: not a service you provide either, I suppose? Jimmy: I could do Janis: Impressive Janis: if dubious Jimmy: Depends where you want it Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: I'll come get it, not that much of an arsehole, usually Jimmy: You're still not having 🥇 Janis: not even if I say please AND thank you? Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: I'll see how I feel Janis: 🔮 so mysterious Jimmy: Old news that Jimmy: And not what I'm waiting to hear off you Janis: You'll be old news, soon 🤞 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: that's the whole point, yeah Janis: or do I accuse you of being closeted too Jimmy: can do Janis: I'm bigger and better than that 🥇😇 Jimmy: 👏 Janis: you thought I was gay too then Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: Nowt to tell Jimmy: I don't know you Janis: Neither does anyone else who's reached the conclusion Janis: it's not personal Jimmy: Alright, I don't think about you as much as they do Janis: 🙄 Janis: they don't think that much period Janis: but my sexual history ain't playground knowledge so obviously Jimmy: Who started it? Janis: I dunno Janis: you know how it is, only one person needs to say it once Janis: pack mentality bullshit Jimmy: It'll be a lad you didn't wanna get with or a lass who's fuming you're fitter than her Janis: That don't narrow it down Janis: bighead, remember Jimmy: 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, Bill said it best Janis: telling everyone I ain't wouldn't do shit but make it seem like I was Janis: why else would I have agreed to this Jimmy: 'Cause I'm so fit and mysterious obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not Asia Jimmy: I know 😭💔 Janis: Could've asked, dickhead Jimmy: She has a BOYFRIEND, Jenna Janis: She wants a NEW ONE Jimmy: duh Janis: ask her then Janis: she'll have so many good ideas Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Fucking hell, I'd sooner put up with your bad ones Janis: Gee, thanks for the reminder Jimmy: 😘 Janis: no one is there, right Janis: like, no one who's gonna want a show Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: hold on then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🖐 Jimmy: 👀 Janis: how do you live like this Jimmy: What? Janis: having to be around them, even in the holidays Janis: without going postal Jimmy: I ain't got a choice Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: I know, still doesn't mean I get how you do it Jimmy: What's to get? It's a job, even rich girls know how they work Janis: Never mind Jimmy: No, go on Janis: Nah Jimmy: We're back to 🙀 are we? Janis: Nah, we're back to there's no point 'cos you always act like you're so superior when that's not even what I'm saying Janis: so forget it Jimmy: The point is that I serve dickheads all day Jimmy: Mia wishes she could take the 👑 Janis: And you can never just say that Jimmy: They're the centre of your 🌎 not mine Janis: Keep the drink Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: Neither do I Janis: another customer to complain about Jimmy: You can have that 🥇 at least Jimmy: well done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Later Jimmy: Yeah

[headoverhiddles]

For Those Who Made It - Tim Roth x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: You and Tim go to Disney World for your anniversary. He gives you a terrible sex toy to bring, which of course, you fully intend to use.

Notes: Hey! Lmao so don't do this! Obviously. There's kids sitting right next to you!! There's cameras!! Woohooing in Disney World is fun for nobody! Except you. In this fic. 😉

Disney World was supposed to be a fun, happy place, to say hi to Mickey Mouse, pick up some hitchhiking ghosts, and generally indulge in child-like innocence. Of course, Tim chooses a fitting gift for your two year anniversary based on the upcoming couples trip you're about to embark on.

"Remote control vibrating panties?" you deadpan, looking up from the package. He raises both eyebrows with a cheeky grin, and you huff.

"Don't give me that cute little smile, where do you expect me to wear this?!"

"Where else?" your husband continues to smirk, and taps the calendar's 8th day mark. You duck your head, and can't help but giggle into your arm. Of fucking course he would do this.

"I am not wearing vibrating panties in Disney World, Simon."

He pops his head back around the corner of the kitchen, tossing a macaroon in his mouth. "Ooh, fuck. You've used my middle name, I must be in for it."

"Come here you idiot," you roll your eyes, and he stuffs another cookie in his mouth before warily tip toeing over to you. You wait for him to sit down, then loop your arms around him, getting in his lap. His brow furrows, looking down your body and placing his hands on your hips, and you rest your forehead against his.

"You want me to wear them so you can turn me on whenever you want, hm?"

He smirks. "Mhmm."

"You wanna see me squirm, look at you with those eyes that just beg you to take me back to the hotel room and fuck the living shit out of me."

He starts to get hard under you, you can feel it, and you shift against his bulge.

"That what you want, baby? You want to fuck me? You wanna know I'm so wet, just fucking dripping thinking of you, cause you keep turning the dial up, and up, and up, until I just can't take it anymore, I have to have you?"

He can't do anything but nod, and you stroke the beginnings of stubble on his chin.

"Well you're out of luck, because I refuse to wear them. If anyone got a picture of what we're doing, the headlines would be something along the lines of "Closet exhibitionists: What REALLY goes on in the Roth family!"

"Or if we're real lucky, we'll get a spot in "Defiling Disney: Twenty celebs who just couldn't wait," he wiggles those damn eyebrows. You get up, leaving him wanting, and saunter toward the bedroom. He stands up.

"If you wear them, I'll personally talk to Town Hall and get us a tour of the top room in Cinderella's castle."

You gasp softly, and stop in your tracks. You had always dreamed of touring that little room, ever since you were a kid... you'd forgotten what perks come with being married to an actor. You swing back around.

"You're devious."

"I'm sweet as every one of those mickey rice krispies you're gonna devour."

You bury your face in his shoulder, laughing. "Yes. Fine. You have a deal."

He winks. "Like you're not going to enjoy every minute of it."

You roll your eyes again... you know you will, but you're a little nervous. Tim has a deadly mischievous side.

----

Tim holds your hand as the two of you make your way slowly down Main Street, USA, not a care in the world. It's your first day, and it's been amazing so far. You two had dropped into the first shop you saw to grab ears, and you had selected a cute blue polka dot headband with a daisy, while Tim chose an outrageous Donald duck ear hat. He always liked Donald Duck best, he said.

The sun beats down on you two, threatening to melt your second Mickey ice cream pop of the day. Tim catches a bit of chocolate on his thumb, and licks it up. You admire his tattooed biceps, and look up to where he's wearing a Mickey hat and sunglasses, to not be recognized.

"You look hot."

"I feel hot," he wipes his face. "Bloody 86 degrees today."

You offer him some of your ice cream, and he leans over, taking a bite. You two keep walking.

"So, enough of me complaining. You look adorable, I look adorable, we're set in that department. Where to first?" he asks. You take another lick of your ice cream, and he watches your tongue swipe over the white cream intently, licking his own lips.

"I think we should do something wet."

"Funny you should mention wet," Tim comments, and turns up the dial he's got in his pocket. Surprised, you let out something between a yelp and a moan, scaring a boy standing next to you. You recover, and swat your husband.

"You're a shit."

"Did I hear you say Splash Mountain?" As you two begin walking over toward Frontierland, you readjust yourself inconspicuously. You were well on your way to an orgasm by noon, you could tell.

You successfully make it to evening without coming in your panties, but it's been tough. During Pirates, Tim thought it would be a loud enough scene while drifting through the sea battle to turn the dial up, leaving it for thirty seconds straight. You had clutched onto his knee, but he had kept your hand away from his crotch. So unfair.

Now around 7 PM, the park was getting dark, and you'd decided to head over to Hollywood Studios and do one of your favorite rides-- the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

"Scared, love?" Tim asks you, holding you from behind, and you shake your head, holding his hands.

"I love this one. Heights are the best."

"You're right. I'm probably the terrified one," he whispers, "Guess I'll just have to... distract myself." You're brought into the small library, where the lights go out and a TV flashes on, and Rod Serling begins to address you.

"Hollywood, 1939. Amidst the glitz and the glitter of a bustling young movie town, the Hollywood Tower Hotel was a star in its own right."

You and Tim hold each other in a familiar embrace, rocking gently with him placing soft kisses every so often to your temple as you watch the pre-show twilight zone "episode", one which you'd probably memorized by now. You're then ushered into a spooky queue, then an elevator. You and Tim sit in the back, and he winks at you before everything goes dark. Oh god. What's he planning?

The ride's screen opens up, and Rod's back, telling you all you're about to take a ride up to the twilight zone.

"You feeling good?" Tim whispers in your ear, and you bite your lip, feeling the panties begin to vibrate. You nod, whispering back:

"Yes, daddy. My pussy feels good." He turns it up, and you bite down on your fist. The elevator car starts drifting forward through the "stars" and you lean into Tim.

"Please. Please, let me come."

"Not yet. Not yet, darling."

The ride locks into tracks, and you're pulled up to the top of the hotel, where it breaks. The panties are still vibrating, and you bite back another moan. Just then, the ride drops, and the vibrations grind perfectly against your clit. You squeeze his hand.

"Please, daddy, I need it."

"How bad?"

"So fucking bad."

As the elevator goes up one more time, he hisses in your ear:

"Come on and come for me, you little whore."

"Oh god," you nearly shout as your climax hits you, and it's not out of place as the ride plummets to the basement. During the descent, you experience the weirdest mix of euphoria and free-fall, and when you're at the bottom, your body doesn't know what to feel.

Tim helps you off the ride, knees shaking, and at a concerned cast member, he just shakes his head.

"Her first time."

You feign a nod. "I'm terrified of heights!"

When you two get all the way outside and in front of it, you grab Tim, swinging your husband into a hug so you can laugh into his chest.

"Oh. My. God!"

"And Mr. Serling was right, now it's time for me to die," Tim laughs, and you shake your head.

"No, that felt so good."

"What happened to Defiling Disney?"

"Fuck it. That was the craziest orgasm of my life." He bows, and takes your hand again, swinging it as Minnie walks by and makes a heart at you two.

"So we can do the same on It's A Small World?"

"You'd need to give me four orgasms and nipple clamps to keep me awake during that ride," you deadpan, and Tim bursts out laughing as you get another idea. "I've heard the Cinderella room has a bed," you tease, "Wanna rent it out? I need you to pound my wet little pussy til I'm hoarse." Tim grazes his lips against yours, slapping your ass and hoping Minnie didn't see that behind you.

"I'll rent it out. I didn't become a movie star for nothing, love."

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Grace

Rio: Gracie! Can't tie either parental down so you're unlucky enough to be my first port of call Rio: If I come down this week (half term, right? God I feel old not knowing, ick!) how many of yous are gonna be about? Wanna catch all of you if I can Grace: I'm not surprised, Nico thinks mum's charger is the most fun thing EVER and you know dad still kicks it like he's at some 70s disco instead of a restaurant kitchen. So cringe! Grace: Iggy's took off in the van and Pablo's never here even when he is (ugh we get it, you're hanging shush) but everyone else maybe? Grace: Unless Junior's nerding it up idk Rio: Bless them, you'll miss them when you go Rio: Mum and Dad, the cats, only your faves and Nico is a little bitch 😂 Rio: Good enough for me! Sure enough I'll only hold any of yas down for a hot second regardless Rio: What've you been up to? Got any fun plans then? Grace: 😂 No way they're the worst and won't give me the chance Grace: Ask Janis they're always in her grill now she has a bf she can't ever peel herself off of Grace: Gurl you better make time for me! 😚 London's like another planet and I need that goss Grace: Gotta keep uploading that 🐰🐣 content Grace: but keeping it lowkey 👌 Rio: They're highkey nerds, tis true, least they give a shit, eh? 😘 Rio: Fucking knew it, sneaky bitch. I asked her at NYE and she said nah but I KNEW Rio: Ugh, gonna give her SO much shit when I come back 😂 Rio: Duh! My goss might not set the teenybop influencer world alight but think you'll be into it Rio: Also, got some lush bunny ears from work you can style up if you like, there's the content Rio: Very Ariana Grace: We're so blessed 🙏 Grace: OMFG THANK YOU 👏 she's such a lying bitch Grace: And they are so 😍💍💘 it's HONESTLY disgusting like I can't Grace: YAS 👑!! babes I knew I was missing you Grace: Such a mood Rio: 🙌 Rio: Steady on 😂 Fill me on the beef before I'm taking sides Rio: Can't roll like that babe 🙉 Rio: Is he a twat? I could barely get a look in, hot property with the whole fam that night not just Jan, like 😏 Rio: Right? My turn to THANK YOU 'cos all the other girls were raging after me lemme tell you, saying it reeked of misogyny and cheesy old school playboy Rio: Not educated in Hef paving the way for ladies being allowed to be sexual, ESP the sistas 💣💥 Rio: Its iconic, yeah? Like hush Grace: Honey not even! Now he's got her feeling the 💖 we all benefit Grace: Like from 💀 to 😍!! Grace: Here's the thing he's NICE!! 😮 How and who tf !! 😂 In THESE ends Grace: He's pimped my feed with his 📷 more that once. Lush! Grace: Trust her to find the one decent lad Grace: OMG how shaming! it's literally so on point I feel bad for how off they are. Beyond awkward Grace: 👯💜 Rio: Can't argue with that Rio: It'll be nice to see her happy Rio: All of yous Rio: Yeah, had noticed your new lad was off the feed Rio: Just not the one or do I need to crack skulls on YOUR behalf? Spill! 😘 Maybe Gus has had his 💔 Rio: Right? Not complaining when they were raking in the tips and looking fly doing it, this is why Vinnie listens to me and not them though so 💋 win win for me Grace: 🤞 Grace: UGH don't go there babe Grace: I'm off men rn 🙏 so you can relax Grace: Give Gus and Diego their time to shine 😂 Grace: OMG PLEASE say you can finally get me in sometime soon! 💋 Rio: Good girl 👍 Rio: Me too, more trouble than they're worth, and I'll always check what they're worth, feel me Rio: Love 'em 😂 I'd say they keep me sane but not with the shenanigans they still manage to get themselves into, nah lads Rio: You're old enough that I can vouch for you with him to get you in but Imma need to go out in Dubo with you first Rio: See how you handle your liquor, can't be risking the boss' license if you're gonna get #WGW 😏 Grace: I 100% swear down that D has a 💘 at his school but he's pulling a Jan over it so Grace: Yay! I'm buzzing Grace: Say when and I'll be on it Grace: The vibe looks EPIC in every insta it's 💕 Rio: Surely not! My babies! 😭 Rio: I've changed all ya nappies, it ain't right, I tell ya! 👵 Rio: Whenever you can pencil me in darling 💋 If you come back on the plane with me you'll only have to do the one back alone Rio: Unless you want to bring a mate but you've gotta vouch for them 'cos I don't know them enough to put my name on the line, they ain't my little sister 💛 Grace: 😂😂 I had to go full spa on him cos he was 🙎 and not vibing with the sheet masks he'd been stealing from me for WEEKS 😂😂 Grace: He's so 😍 for someone Grace: This is HAPPENING 👌 Mum'll say yes cos it's obvs for my mental health Grace: It's enough for collab our schedules tbh imagine trying to get the squad hooked up Rio: Aww! What a little sweetie! 😭 Giving me so much fodder to get 'em all with, yas gurl! 🙊 Rio: She defs knows the benefit of letting ya hair down and if she disagrees then she ain't our Muvva 👽 Rio: Same when I was your age, so many parties, so much time stretching ahead...ugh, hark at me Rio: Speaking of though, Pabs has managed to keep outta the drunk tanks since my last visit, yeah? 🙄 Chief Grace: I'd say go easy cos the acne is !! but where was mine was I was a 🍕 me and payback are bitches that have each other's backs like 😂 Grace: So welcome 💋 remember who treated you right hun 😚 Grace: Oh babe that's proper tragic 😂 Are you okay?! Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'd lie to spare your feels but I can't even cos he is not forgiven! Fuck him truly Rio: Way harsh babe! Gotta share that knowledge and spot treatment 🙏 older sib duties ✌ you only gotta look out for them 3, feel MY pain when I wanna be a petty bitch please 😉😂 Rio: Clearly not, like...What tf am I like? 🙈 Rio: Still in the dog house then...I hope little miss tiny tits is too, seen her being snide on the 'gram Rio: we know she's no 😇 so as long as she's getting her share of the 💩 from you, I ain't judging on the Pabs score 👌 Grace: 😈 LMAO jks obvs I'm living for getting to flex like that Grace: Nobody else lets me near their face, their loss but still BOO Grace: Ugh yes cos he doesn't even see that he did me WRONG she was trying he's just an idiot and its like BOY NO Grace: Never learning them lessons Grace: 🚫 No worries there she's BEYOND cancelled 🚫 Grace: I hate that bitch Rio: That's why you gotta get them clients honey, just you wait, people will be BEGGIN' for your time and expertise 😘 Rio: Yeah, he's a fool in general though Rio: Not to say that ain't valid, 'cos 100% babe, but it wasn't personal, like Rio: Try to remember that 'cos he's not that boy, no matter what typa foolishness he's caught up in rn 😒 Rio: 👏 I like what I'm hearing, Gracie! So much growth! Rio: Here for it Grace: I feel you but also it's like idk it was personal to me cos she was my best friend and he knew that Grace: On some level idk Grace: Whatever I'm trying to be over it Grace: There's bigger 🐠 Rio: Fair Rio: Idk if he knows he knew...Mouthful Rio: Give him time and a chance, but that's it, sensible big sister said her piece on that, you're free to go on doing what you're doing 😜 Grace: Thanks 👑 Grace: Rio, I can forreal come to london right? Like you're not just shhing me Grace: I'm so done with this place atm Rio: Of course you can Rio: As long as the 'rents sign off on it, you can stay for as long as you like Rio: That's Dubo for ya...gets under your skin Rio: Anything else I can do, tho? Grace: 💜 Grace: Ugh it's just everything Grace: There's barely anything I can do Grace: Ignore me I'm a hormonal 👾 Rio: Have you had your B12 and folates checked? Billie and Edie were anaemic you should double-check 'cos that will have you feeling rough as Grace: 👼 You're adorbs Grace: Enough of my chatter anyway, how are you? Rio: 👀 okurr but we're coming back to this later Rio: 'cos I'm same old same old Rio: Nothing beyond the promised goss of London to report Rio: No boys, remember? Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Oh please you always have a boy Grace: Spill it Rio: 😨 Swear on my life, babe! Rio: Nothing and no one Grace: We're twinning then 💕 Grace: Do tell Janis 😂 Rio: Coming for ya brand Rio: Shameless 😏 like to think I could pass, not that old or having THAT crisis tho, jfc Grace: 👯💣🔥 Grace: You're flawless babe don't even stress Grace: when I'm your age I'll have to pray Rio: Aww, you doll, extra brownie points for boosting my ego 💋 Rio: What you chattin'?! We're all babes, lbr Grace: 😂 shhh avó be repping herself hard in me and no offence 👵 it's not goals 💔 lmao Grace: obrigado,... mas não, obrigado like she rocks it but she's also way old so Grace: the struggle is real 😂 Rio: You're mad gal Rio: don't be wasting your youth hating on what you'll miss Rio: though we all age like fine wine, avó paving the way 💣 Rio: Ma was onto something having us so young Grace: Don't let her hear you say that Grace: My ears are still ringing from her calling me out Rio: umm Rio: BISH YOU WHAT Grace: 🤷 No drama just Rio: You weren't on the pill? Or missed a day? Rio: We've all had the scare but I never got as far as needing to tell Mum Rio: You poor thing! 😨🙈 Grace: Well obvs that was my bad but she only made me die about a thousand times Grace: I survived Rio: Eeep! Rio: At least she didn't march you down the clinic in a shame cone like most would round here Grace: OMG like she made me go but my ootd was my own doing 🙏 Rio: Not so much as a high collar in sight 🙌 Rio: Explains your hormones though, babe, that shit will FUCK you up for ages Rio: so no worries there Grace: I know exactly what I'm in for Grace: Ugh Rio: Forreals Rio: Who'd be a fucking woman, eh? Grace: Mia. To fuck over the others Grace: kms Rio: 😂 Rio: Fueled by her PMS that one Grace: [Sends her 2 very similar selfies} which one do you vibe the most with? Rio: 1st one, s'more natural Rio: smile ALMOST reaches your eyes Grace: lmao Grace: Thanks babes Rio: if you gonna fake it 'til you make it Rio: gotta keep you the realest, ain't I? 😉 Grace: gotta keep me 😂 Rio: Wanna Rio: Blood ties aside 😘 Grace: 💜 Rio: Best get ready for work Rio: Could use you here to do my look for me, cba tonight 😐 blah Grace: I'd be living for that you know it but you'll be killing it with or without me, honey Grace: You got this gurl Rio: Cheers 🍸 Rio: I'll get the first round in when I see ya boo 💋 Grace: Yay! So excited 😚