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#we've had some good times tumblr
birdmenmanga · 1 year
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some kind of moodboard
@birdmenanime @kitsoa
#just thinking thoughts...#sorry. the phrase 'bird mom loves you both' was so fucking evocative#and then once I started drawing it turned out I had a lot of feelings about this#if either of you want me to take this down let me know#yeah so I've been sitting on that edit of the conversation between takayama and karasuma for ages. like 4 months.#but at that time ghost was still on hiatus I think and also we weren't that close. so it didn't feel right to show it. but it existed.#my mental image of ghostpun is actually largely just that chibi takayama actually#but like that would cause confusion. so i used your discord pfp. your goat person is really nice to draw actually#as for kitsoa. it's supposed to be your fox from tumblr. but I also really associate you with sora(?)'s silhouette so.#it's that. and then hair that COULD be fox ears if you so desired. the ponytail is the tail... the shape is more or less the same.#fistfighting on top of a ferris wheel is a reference to detective conan movie 20: darkest nightmare#it's just so stupid and ridiculous it's my go-to for ludicrous conflicts#yeah anyways onto the actual subject.#to ghost: sorry about this. generally when it comes to fandoms I read most text posts and nod my head thoughtfully and sip my drink#but I guess because I have more cohesive and coherent thoughts about this series in particular I'm less good at just nodding my head#I don't think there's been a single time where we've said something that made the other person go 'YEAH'#like it's always '......well...............'#some nights I wonder whether we read the same series or not. and I feel like you probably feel this way sometimes too#sorry for being so pedantic. I am really not trying to pick a fight with you I promise.#yeah I have no clue what I want to say actually#we go to the same church for worship and like what are we gonna do??? stop going??? fuck no#I don't hate you. I respect you. still trying my damnest to like you. we're still working on that last one#like look I want to be besties so bad but I feel like we just have a boatload of ideological differences to work through#so I guess. what I'm trying to say is. here's to being insane together for the next few years. cheers!#(additional apology for the brutal honesty. I'm not good at white lies.)#to kitsoa: uh. sorry about. This. I don't even know if you were aware we had a rivalry (???) going on#Uh I wish I didn't stir up trouble in your house (bm fandom) but I'm stubborn. for better or for worse. sorry...#I am going to be careful to keep discussions respectful etc. etc. so as not to cultivate a toxic workplace or whatever. prommy.#(but you have to admit. this is kind of funny) <- guy addicted to doing things for the bit#yeah that's all. I can't do anything in a normal way but I hope you guys can understand somewhat.
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mieczyhale · 2 years
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when you catch a mistake in ur tags or ur post but its too late 
this wouldn’t keep happening to me if there was a way to better edit and rearrange already typed tags 8|
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awkwxrdapple · 10 months
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tojiscumdumpster · 28 days
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ toji fushiguro x his favorite customer (revision)
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✧ summary toji has a little soft spot for his favorite customer that he can't get enough of.
✧ content warnings reader is a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. chubby!reader and inexperienced!reader. rich girl in her midtwenties, very needy! usage of profanity, standing missionary, oral - m!receiving, doggy style, mixture of praise and degradation kink, breeding kink, unprotected, creampie and squirting, terms of endearment ─ pretty girl, princess, baby, baby girl, etc. softdom!toji with rough, passionate, and filthy intercourse. told in first POV ─ toji's. i got reader calling toji TJ, and i think that’s so cute pls.
✧ author's note happy birthday to my baby daddy toji fushiguro! we've been going strong now for years. just a little something something to celebrate him. this fic has been in the drafts since December. talk about black people time, old sksk. also, if you already seen the original of this fic on tumblr, it's mine lol. this is just a revision, so don't go around saying i copied someone! my writing has changed so i wanted to redo this and add some adjustments. i hope y'all enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. ♡ AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND/OR MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT.
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 When it comes to women I fuck, I treat them the same because at the end of the day, they pay me good money to stuff their pussy with cock. 
 Don’t really care if they're married either. I usually get the old, desperate broads that aren’t getting any attention from their husbands at home, so it’s my job to make them feel good for the night. 
 I don’t do favorites. 
 I damn sure don’t give discounts. 
 And I definitely don’t get attached. But the moment I met Y/N that all changed. 
 My favorite customer. 
 Never did I expect a younger woman to pay me to get fucked, especially when she looks that good. 
 I’m almost positive she has a line filled with fuckers that’s desperately wanting to know what this tight, wet pussy feels like, yet here I am, living their fantasy. 
 I fucked Y/N once. 
 Then, twice. 
 Then, again.
 And again.
 And again…
 If I didn’t know any better, I’m fucking obsessed with her. Can’t even say it’s just for the money she’s paying me. Probably the best pussy I ever had.
 No. 
 It is. 
 So fucking warm, and she takes dick well, too. I usually give only an hour or two to my customers, but for Y/N? I reserved the whole night to relish her pussy. 
 The perfect fuck to end my day. 
 Those soft, sweet-sounding moans that slipped through her full brown and pink lips, having my previous cum shot staining them had me running wild. 
 But it seems like I’m not the only one who’s sex drunk. 
 Cock is all on Y/N’s mind right now. Whimpering and crying how big I am and thanking me for giving her dick. Tears pricks those chestnut-colored hues and I’m in fucking awe. She’s so damn pretty. 
 “You know how gorgeous you look taking cock like this? Being a good fucking slut for me, princess?” I ask, being met with a nod and her moaning in response. 
 Y/N’s pussy talks to me. Wet noises spreading throughout the room while I have my arms hooked under the fold of her knees, fucking her recklessly to push past any intrusion. 
 She’s jumping with me every thrust I make, causing her tits to bounce obnoxiously. I take one of her nipples into my mouth and suck on them like it’s my last dying breath, hearing that sweet whimper. 
 I belong in Y/N’s pussy, and she belongs to me, too, the way she’s gripping my cock and milking me. All of her cream and wetness drips between us and down my balls, and it feels fucking amazing. Every time I experience her velvet walls, I find myself becoming more animalistic, hungry and territorial over someone who should only be seen as a client. 
 But fuck, something in me says I would go batshit crazy if I ever found out she had other motherfuckers experiencing this. 
 Knowing how she looks when sweat coats her beautiful brown skin. How it feels to stretch her out and make her adjust to you. Just thinking about it makes me pound into her deeper and more aggressively. 
 “Toji, baby, yes. This feels so good,” she purrs. “Like that. Keep fucking me like that.”
 I hum. “Yeah? This is what you wanted, right? Paid me to please this good pussy?”
 By all means, Y/N isn’t a virgin, but she told me she doesn’t have much experience and I can tell by how tight she is. 
 Our sounds of pleasure resonate in the air, and I call her my good girl, praising how perfect her pussy is, to be met with her squeezing me and watery brown eyes. 
 “Toji… Toji… Yes. God, yes.”
 “Keep using your words, pretty girl. Tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy,” I ordered softly.
 “I love it so much. It’s so big, baby,” she tells me, slurring her words because of her lips still being on mine. “You’re going to make me cum.”
 I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. “Not yet. Come taste yourself.”
 Without hesitation, Y/N slides down to her knees and starts sucking my dick. I hiss at her swallowing me and the warmth of her mouth. She doesn’t take her time when sucking me off, immediately circling her head and throating me. 
 “Hot fucking mouth made to suck dick, huh, pretty girl?” I firmly grabbed her chin so she could look at me. “Eyes up, sweetheart. Open up your throat for me like a good girl.” 
 Y/N hollows her cheeks and bobs her head fervently on my dick, tightening her lips around me. 
 She sucks dick so fucking good, better than any other woman I’ve been with. And I just know I’m bound to bust quickly if she keeps doing this shit. 
 My hand finds the back of Y/N’s head to grip and I buck my hips deeper into her mouth, ensuring I hit the back of her throat everytime. I’m a fucking mad man when I begin fucking the gorgeous face, especially when she’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes. 
 A spoiled brat, prim and shy, who’s spending daddy’s money to get fucked and folded by an old bastard like me. Think I fucking developed a kink for this type because of Y/N.
 I pumped into her mouth more aggressively until she began choking and gagging on my cock. Drool and precum coating her mouth in the process. 
 Any type of control Y/N tries to take, I push past it because I want to use that pretty little mouth of hers how I want. She needs to get her money’s worth when fucking with me. 
 “Going to fuck my cum deep down that throat of yours, and you’re going to swallow it. Got that?” She nods and I softly tap the side of her face. “That’s it. Keep those lips tight around me.” 
 “Toji, pl—please,” she slurs, causing me to chuckle. 
 “Hm, look at you. Trying so hard to talk to me while sucking my dick. It’s cute.” I slow down my quick thrusts, but replace them with more fervent ones, pushing me and her head down until my cock outlines her throat. 
 My balls grow heavy and obnoxiously slaps Y/N’s chin, a clear indication I’m about to fucking cum. 
 Grunting, whining, gasping like a little bitch for air because head like this has a fucker like me sounding like a broken mess. 
 Blood rushes to my groin and I start getting sloppy, feeling my muscles tightening and ache burning between my thighs. I’m close, so fucking close to filling her mouth with my release, then I can finish fucking that fat pussy. 
 Everything about this damn woman is perfect. Her pussy. How she sucks cock. That fucking chubby and curvy body of hers. A pretty face with loaded cash.
 Yeah, she’s definitely mine after tonight. And I’m talking about anything lovey dovey. Meaning if I catch her being a slut like this to anyone else, I’d kill that fucker. 
 No hesitation. I-
 “Y/N, fuck!” I grunt while cumming in her mouth. This load is fucking heavy, but she’s trying her best to swallow every drop. 
 I groan at the sight of Y/N touching her tits and palming her pussy, knowing how much she’s turned on, too. It’s like the vibrations of her moans pulls more cum out my fucking dick.
 A mess I made on her face, but the joyful lust I see in her eyes tells me she doesn’t give a damn. 
 Good, because I’m not finished with her. 
 “All fours on the bed. Now,” I demanded. “Still gotta fill up your pussy.”
 Perfection is what I think when I see Y/N from behind, arched back, ass in the air and pussy dripping, ready for me to fuck. 
 I force an arch in her back and plunge my cock in her tight little pussy with one deep stroke. Y/N gasps in the air and I take the opportunity to pull her up by the throat and start pounding her cunt. 
 Why the fuck is she so goddamn wet? She takes cock well, bud shit, I abruptly slip out each and every thrust. 
 “Keep me inside that pussy, baby girl. Stop fucking letting go,” I gritted in her ear. She reaches behind her to hold my dick and push back into me with a tighter grip. “Hm, just like that. So fucking good to me, aren’t you?”
 “I need more dick, TJ. Fuck me harder, baby. I can take you,” she moans. 
 Begging for cock she’s already paying for… Shit, I get a kick out of how pathetically sexy she sounds. 
 I repeatedly slammed into her wet cunt, thrust after thrust, pussy creaming even further than before. If it’s one thing I can listen to for the rest of my life, it’s how Y/N sounds when she’s being fucked. 
 My name drips perfectly from her lips.
 Our skin smacking fills the air in the room along my hand striking her ass until I guarantee it’ll bruise in the morning. 
 “Look at this fat ass moving when I pound into this pussy. Fucking beautiful,” I growled.
 “Toji, please. I… I don’t care how much… I’ll pay more. Just keep fucking me like this.”
 I chuckle. “Atta girl.”
 I see why motherfuckers catch feelings when fucking pussy. I almost feel tempted to tell Y/N that I love her while fucking her. She has pussy that’ll make a fucker crazy… Possessive… Jealous.
 I applied more pressure to Y/N’s throat and pulled her against my chest. “You know who this pussy belongs to. Right, princess?”
 “God, yes, Toji. You… it belongs to you.” Her voice comes off as a faint cry and I know she’s on the verge of cumming. Especially with how her pussy is pulsating around me. 
 “Mhm, that’s right. Dreamed of my fucking dick pounding this tight little cunt, now I have you mindfucked. Huh?” I pinch her nipples with my free hand and increase my thrusts. “You’re about to come for me. Aren’t you, Y/N? I know you are. I can feel it. You should see the mess your slutty pussy is making between us.”
 “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, baby. It’s just… you feel good. So fucking good,” she whimpers, bouncing her ass back into me to meet with my thrusts. 
 “Maybe I should have you clean it with your mouth. Hm?”
 I release Y/N’s throat to shove her face into the bed and deepen her arch more than before. My single hand returns to her hips to grip, pulling her round ass back on my cock to kiss her center. 
 Can’t get over how wet—how tight and warm this fucking pussy is. The harder I fuck her, the louder her pussy gets and I grunt, curse underneath my breath at hearing the sound of her muffled moans. 
 I don’t give a fuck if one of us catches feelings after this. Actually, I want her to. I want Y/N to be dick hungry only for me. 
 I want her pussy to smell like I’m the only fucker that’s been running through her. I’m even fucking tempted to breed this pussy just so she’s mine.
 Why the fuck would I want to have sex with any other women after knowing what Y/N feels like? 
 “You take cock like a fucking pro. Look at you gripping me. Look at how this pussy is mine.”
 She spreads her ass cheeks to feel every inch of my dick. “Fuck me, Toji. Harder. Fuck me harder, I’m about to cum.”
 “Shit, me too, sweetheart. Such a perfect fuck toy. Going to fill you all the way up,” I rasped. “Fuck me back. Keep taking this dick.”
 My thrusts are sloppy. I throw my head back and swear into the air and moan her name. My balls grow heavier and heavier until I fucking but and empty my cum inside her pussy. 
 And she’s right there with me, crying my name and thanking me for giving her toe-curling orgasm. 
 Fucking enjoy hearing my pretty girl thank me for giving her cock. She just looks so damn pretty when she cums, too. 
 Dark brown skin sweating. The sight of her ruined makeup with mascara running down her cheeks. Moans sounding like a broken record. 
 Yeah, she’s a perfect fuck. 
 My favorite customer. 
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© 2024 tojiscumdumpster Do NOT copy, translate, plagiarize, repost (sharing links is okay) anywhere. I only upload on tumblr and you will find some of my work in ao3.
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photomatt · 5 months
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Hey, i just want to say I've been on this site since I was like 17 (I'm 30 now) and this really is the best owner we've ever had. Tumblr is hard to monetize. The userbase is meaner than a den of vipers (myself included, sorry) and takes a lot of pride in that. My wife was actually the one that messaged support suggesting that the checkmarks be giftable (also a tumblr lifer). The only suggestion I've got is: more badges (niche interests, ships, etc), better advertisement of some of this stuff, let us blaze posts that are genuinely abhorrent (i can't believe my blaze attempt re: ron desantis's omega status got rejected), let people buy the right to have a gif as an icon, anything that enables relatively good natured pvp on this site is always a winner. Anyway not like you all haven't thought of these things, but thanks for the good times regardless. It's honestly been great.
Thank you for using Tumblr for 13 years! Some of your suggestions are things we've already been discussing internally, so you may see more of that in the future with an app update. (Probably not on abhorrent blazes, though!)
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f1byjessie · 2 months
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HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.
love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.
( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )
━━ part one.
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 2,798 others
yourusername yeehaw (bahrain edition)
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user the only person more american than logan is his sister
logansargeant imagine spending more time with a horse than your own twin brother
↳ yourusername don't need to bc i did
↳ logansargeant this is the cyber bullying mom warned me about
↳ yourusername do you wanna see bullying? cuz i'll show you bullying
user oh to be a girl at the beach during sunset
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by logansargeant, williamsracing, and 9,684 others
tagged: logansargeant
yourusername baby's first f1 race! kick some ass logie! 🫶
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logansargeant thank you but we're literally the same age??
↳ yourusername umm i think you're mistaken cuz last i checked i was still a minute older
user LOGIE I'M DECEASED
user y/n giving us the low qual logan content we've been craving
williamsracing Best of luck to Logan! We're happy to have him as part of the team!
user WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR RAHHHH 🦅🦅🦅
oscarpiastri i don't even wanna know how far back you had to scroll in your gallery to find that last picture
↳ yourusername careful piastri, i have some of you too and i'm not afraid to use them
↳ oscarpiastri noted.
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liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 107,204 others
tagged: yourusername
logansargeant could've been better, could've been worse, but i couldn't have asked for a better cheerleader this weekend. everyone's jealous they ain't got a sister like mine
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user RAAAAHH!! USA!! USA!! USA!! 🦅💥
alex_albon could really feel the williams love all weekend long 💙
yourusername i mean i GUESS i have to take my job as your sister seriously SOMETIMES
↳ oscarpiastri as opposed to the rest of the time when you're mortal enemies
↳ yourusername i'm glad SOMEONE understands
user am i the only one who didn't know logan had another sibling???
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liked by user, user, and 67,432 others
f1paddockgossip_official Y/N Sargeant, sister to new Williams driver Logan Sargeant, makes her F1 paddock debut this weekend at the Bahrain Grand Prix! With such a bright demeanor, it was hard to miss her! It's only the first race of the 2023 season, and we hope to be seeing her around more often.
view all 7,538 comments
user THAT'S WHO THAT WAS???
user she's our all american girl and we love her
user nothing more american than twins
↳ user this literally makes no sense?? what??
user FORGET THE DRIVERS I WANNA MEET HER 😍
user becoming a logan fan just for his sister
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 3,476 others
yourusername goodbye bahrain, you were a wonderful experience
view all 364 comments
user will you be at the saudi arabian gp???
williamsracing We hope to see you at more races Y/N! Thanks for coming out to support our team! 💙
↳ yourusername of course! i had the time of my life!
user who needs to be a wag when you can just be the sister of a driver and get the same benefits
user is this supposed to be a reference to oscar's post??
↳ user wait omg is it?
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by landonorris, logansargeant, and 401,481 others
oscarpiastri goodbye bahrain, you were everything.
comments have been disabled
━━ a/n: oh gosh, this is my first time posting anything like this on tumblr so i hope it's good! more to come eventually! still trying to figure out a style, so please excuse any mistakes or discrepancies!
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zzztobi · 9 months
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✧ ⎯⎯ "that good, uh?"
pairing!: atsumu x afab!reader
warnings!: MDNI!!!! fwb, creampie. just atsumu being a lil possessive :p
a/n!: phewwww its been so long since i wrote smt in here lmao i just came to tumblr to read smut thank u for everyone's service
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atsumu's dick was the best one you've taken in your whole life and you didn't have to tell him.
he could tell by the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head, the way you gasped and moaned, or the grip you had on your sheets when he was pounding you in all fours.
you didn't tell him because it would've inflated his ego and would get too cocky for your liking. you've known him your entire life so you already knew how his mind worked.
some part of your brain told you this was wrong, that you fucking your best friend for years wasn't moral. but fuck it because being friends with atsumu shouldn't feel this good. especially when he's whispering such filthy things in your ear:
“f-fuck baby, your pussy feels so good” moaned atsumu before giving you a harsh thrust that made your whole body convulse. “we should've done this before angel, we've been missing out shit!”
and you would nod while saying a chain of “yes atsumu!” that took the air out of his lungs after hearing you moaning his name like that.
he would ask if he could cum inside of you because he wanted to pump you so full of him, mark you as his so no one could take you away from him. he wanted you to be his, and only his.
and maybe he should've confessed his feelings before all this mess started, but he didn't have it in him to do it, not when your pussy wrapped so tight around him made his head so dizzy and mind fuzzy. well it'll have to wait until the next time then.
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©️ zzztobi 2023 — all rights reserved. please don't repost, translate or copy any of my work.
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luna-lovegreat · 5 months
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Wait...
It's November. It's November first. Yesterday was October 31st, so October is over. ...it's over. Is it over?
Inktober, artober, whumptober, flufftober, linktober, every tag ending with -tober that's been circulating for the past month... is it over? I don't know why it's just hit me but...
This matters. So I will try to get the message across, even though I'm not the best at it sometimes
Fanartists, fan writers, artists, fic writers, people making comics, every single one of you that has created art for the past month...
Thank you
This is my first October on tumblr. When I started seeing the "tober" tags, seeing the posts from artists with wips, saying they were going to make something every day to a prompt, making masterposts to update with each day, I thought "cool"
But every day this month, I have gotten on here and smiled.
And I don't mean smiled. I mean I smiled at least 20 times every time I got on the app because I saw all the art and fics. I got to see artists/writers connect stories through different day prompts. I saw people having the most brilliant ideas and creativity, flowing from their hands into their posts. I saw artists responding to continuous asks, telling them how amazing they are. I saw artists getting behind, and keeping going.
I saw Free. Beautiful. Emotional. Amazing. Original. Creative. Art.
Every day
I haven't committed to anything of this before, so I can't directly relate to what you guys were thinking and feeling. But I'm willing to guess; I think you probably enjoyed it, because most won't do such a huge project unless they enjoy it. I think you probably saw it as a challenge you were willing to fulfill, and an opportunity to grow and develop your skills.
... but I'm also willing to bet you did it for us. For people like me, who love art, but don't do this specific type, who are in fandoms, who love tracking and watching you art and sending you compliments, who take joy in your work. For the other artists (and writers!) who admire each others styles and love to learn from each other.
If anyone ever tries to tell me that humans are inherently evil again, I will strap them to a chair, pull up these posts and say look. Look at what these people did. Look me in the eyes and tell me these sorts of actions don't come from the most loving hearts. Tell me these people don't want to make others happy, that they aren't inherently good. And I will tell you you're wrong.
I have so much going on, yet somehow it slipped into my life that I was constantly looking at your art for the joy of it without me even noticing.
And how is it possible. That we have such a beautiful community of people here that we will share. And communicate. And exchange compliments. And literally do things and send asks solely for the purpose of making someone smile.
I'm almost crying by now. God I can't express it well enough! But I am so. So. Grateful
You guys brought me a month of joy! You gave headcanons, and art, and stories!
Even yesterday, Halloween, I was blown away. Because I had expected... I didn't expect anything. And then I log on and see people sending happy halloween asks, exchanging doodles of candy, and headcanons and gifs.
And some are still catching up to the schedule or whatever, and that's ok! But at the beginning of this post, when I was simply realizing it was November, I asked myself "is it over?"
Is it over?
... I don't think so. I've seen artists say they're going to continue and expand on a piece they made and especially liked this month. Some people are still continuing, catching up to a voluntary deadline. All those masterposts with your whump/fluff/link/ink tober art? I know many as well as myself will be going through, looking over your posts with smiles, catching up on some things they missed this month... it will continue in the people and artists I didn't know existed before, but now follow. In the skills and growth in creativity! In the community we've grown, and art you've made, and the art to come, at a normal rate like every other month, even if it's not October anymore!
But my artists, writers... thank you so much. I don't know if you guys know how valuable and amazing you are. How incredible it is that you exist! People say it's amazing we exist under a sky of such stars, but how incredible is it that you made a stranger on the internet smile every day! Your life is so. So. Valuable. I can't even express how grateful I am that you exist, that you somehow are selfless enough to share the most beautiful parts of yourself simply to create, and to create joy. Thank you so so much.
(And this applies to all artists, in any fandoms, not just mine. And I'm just as grateful to people who couldn't do something every day, or only one day! You still share your art, you're just as... incredible. You are incredible.)
Okay.
So I'm gonna do this, and if others want to do it in the reblogs that's great! I do not care at all about reblogging or likes, but I want to make the people that have brought me such joy some appreciation- I hope I can bring you even a smidgen of the light you have brought into my life. So I'm gonna tag all the artists/writers I know of/can think of that have done any sort of October challenge, all of you creators that have made me smile. If people wanna want to tag others in the reblogs or replies to spread love that's cool.
(Basically I don't know social customs or anything at all, so if you don't want me to tag or if I was supposed to do something different or something let me know I have no idea what I'm supposed to do)(if I like accidentally tagged someone who isn't an artist/writer or forgot someone I follow... sorry)
@skyward-floored @kikker-oma @adrift-in-thyme @blueskittlesart @zeldaseyebrows @smilesrobotlover @bahbahhh @soso-dedeck @lennsart @arecaceae175 @illcamp @breannasfluff @solarfire-art @26kabeuchi @cathianemelian @truffeart @scribbly-z-raid @uniquevoidflowers
To all the artists and writers out there: thank you so much!!! You are amazing and I'm glad you exist. Your life is precious, and you matter. Thank you so much for sharing your beauty with us, we love you too!!!!!
... yeah. Just want yall to feel loved... because you are. Again, thank you. Thank you so so much to my beautiful creators who create joy as well as art, who keep storytelling alive. Just... thank you.
:)
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star-anise · 2 years
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This is what the fight is like
Sooo, apparently the extremely tenuous and recent nature of the LGBTQ+ community's legal right to exist was not actually super widely known to a lot of people on Tumblr?
Which clarifies some stuff in retrospect. I have so often wanted to grab people by their lapels and shout, "Stop picking on someone for not meeting your entry requirements! We need everyone we can get, you asshole! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THEY HATE US OUT THERE?"
Aaaapparently... no, they did not know. Or they knew and were a conservative psyop preparing the ground for our loss of legal rights. Fun times!
So: Look, it is bad. Shit is scary. They really do hate us out there. You're not wrong.
But: This is what we've always fought. This boat we're in with its antique fittings and strange markings on the floor is a battleship. Work has always been going on in the basements, and when shit gets tough, we clear away clutter and roll out the cannons.
I found this chart a couple weeks ago and hung onto it because it felt like the map to my first 25 years on this earth:
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[Image description: A graph titled "Same Sex Marriage: Public Polls since 1988." It is from FiveThirtyEight's NYT column. It records the percentage of US Americans polled who would say yes or no to legalizing same-sex marriage, from 1988 to 2011.
The two lines begin with roughly 10% saying yes in 1988, and 70% saying no; the two lines gradually draw closer over the years, until by 2011, the percent saying finally dips under 50%, and the group saying yes makes a tentative reach for the majority. End of image description.]
After some great social change has happened, when everyone has admitted that gay marriage is very cute and Pride is a colourful parade, hooray, people like to pretend that it was just natural and inevitable and happened on its own. People just became less prejudiced! Courts just decided on a case! Governments just passed a law!
In reality, it was a vicious fucking fight, every fucking time. Every fucking where. There are a lot of people who deeply, sincerely believe that a hundred years ago, society had good rules about sex and gender and intercourse and marriage, and that changing those rules has made the world worse. They don't always agree on the specifics, but they can work together far enough to fight anyone with new ideas.
This is why we are a community. Even when we don't have the same experiences of attraction or identity, even when we don't do the same things, even when we have wildly different ideas of a good time. Because when these groups take aim, we're all under fire, and none of us is responsible for why they hate us.
In some ways I think it's a miracle that there seems to be a generation that did not grow up, as I grew up, constantly glued to news reports about What Percentage of Society Hates Us this month. I can't imagine who I'd be if my brain and heart and soul hadn't been tied up, that whole time, in the political question of whether I'd get to dream of a decent future.
I think that it will give us strength to have people who can imagine a world where no one hates us. Who believe in it so strongly they can taste it. That's my prediction: If you didn't know this was coming, you'll be a boon to us, because we have always needed joy so fiercely, in this fight, to keep us going on. We have needed drag queens and punk bands and "her wife" and safe space stickers. Parade floats and wedding days and little dogs with rainbow collars, badges and banners and meetups, because more than anything else we need to fight our own despair, and our fear that the world will never get any better than this.
It will. We know it will. We can taste it.
Look up to the history, organizations, and people who've got us this far for information on what forms of activism will actually advance our political goals. Look to the side to make sure the comrades within reach are keeping their heads above water, and that you're keeping enough joy going to stay alive. Look back to see who's more vulnerable than you are that you might have forgotten or been tempted to leave behind. Look after each other. Look after yourself.
We can do this.
To your battle stations.
8K notes · View notes
bossbtch1 · 4 months
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Against All Odds part 3 (Final)
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Summary : Bucky's betrayal left you deeply wounded, you sought revenge to make him feel the pain he caused. Following your act of retaliation, you distanced yourself from him despite his numerous attempts to apologize. Instead, you found comfort in Sam, and Bucky couldn't ignore the growing closeness, leaving him seething with jealousy.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (No mentions of body type or ethnicity other than the reader being female)
General tags : Smut and Groveling
TW: NSFW, 18+, Strong language, Hurt, Comfort, Groveling, Jealous!Bucky, Unprotected Sex, P in V, Hair pulling, Light Spanking, Breeding kink, Overstimulation
Word Count: 14,5k (So yeah... I'm sorry it has to be this long)
A/N : We've reached the end of the story, and I appreciate your enthusiasm and support for this chapter. Apologies if it turned out to be a lengthy fic; I contemplated splitting it into two chapters but couldn't bring myself to do that to you all.
P.S. I'm trying something new with hyperlinks to provide visualizations for certain scenes. I initially wanted to include them for the smut as well, but it didn't align with Tumblr guidelines, so I kept it PG. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy the finale!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
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A week after that when you were running in the treadmill, you saw Bucky trying to approach you. You ignored him and ran faster. "Y/N... Y/N, please! Let me apologize." Bucky's voice could be heard, but it was drowned out by the music in your ears.
You just kept running. You knew Bucky was trying to apologize. "Can't hear you, music too loud!" You yelled.
He didn't give up and said, "Please just give me 5 minutes.”
"I'm busy.”
"Just five minutes. That's all I ask for."
"No." You pressed a button, and the speed of the treadmill increased. You kept running.
He tried one last time, "Please. Just five minutes."
You ignored him. He got the message.
He stood there, watching you run. You were not paying any attention to him, or even acknowledging his presence. The look on his face was pure sadness. He was not going to give up though. Bucky waited until you finished your run, and then asked, "Hey…”
You ignored him and went out. He followed you.
"Y/N. Wait." He said chasing you before you got into the shower, "Doll. I'm sorry. I fucked up big time. I really am. I was stupid. I wasn't thinking."
You didn’t care, you ignored him and went to the shower, hoping he would leave after you taking a shower, but of course he was waiting for you.
When you got out, he was sitting on the couch. You went out there with nothing but a towel on. "Y/N what are you doing? You're going to get cold." He said.
You rolled your eyes, "What do you think I'm doing, Barnes? I just took a shower. Is there a problem with that?"
He shook his head. "No, but you shouldn't be wearing a towel. You should be dressed. You're going catch a cold." He then averted his eyes from your body and stared at the floor.
"I thought you said I looked good without clothes, Barnes." You smirked. "Is there something wrong?"
He shook his head. "Y/N, put some clothes on."
You then walked toward him and sat on his lap, "Y/N what-"
You cut him off by kissing him passionately. His eyes widened in shock, and then closed as he kissed you back. He was confused as you broke the kiss. You then dropped the towel, exposing your naked body to him. He stared at your breast for a second, before looking into your eyes.
"Y/N," he began to speak but stopped. He was stunned, "Y/N what are you doing right now? Why did you take the towel off?"
"Don't you like me naked? Do you not find me attractive, Bucky?" You asked him with a pouty lip.
"Yes. You're very attractive. Of course. But... We shouldn't."
"Why not? We had sex before, why not now?"
"Because... That was before. But now you are angry at me. I'm not going to do that again. I won't take advantage of you. It's not right."
"Don't worry about it Bucky." You got closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Come on Bucky. I want you. Don't you want me?” You said, moving closer until your lips were inches apart.
He swallowed hard, staring into your eyes. "You're not in your right mind. You're not thinking straight.” He could feel himself getting hard. His resolve was breaking. "Doll, please. You know I want you, but I need to know that are we good? I can't have you and leave. It would kill me."
You smirked at him, "We are good." You said seductively, "For now." You whispered, biting his earlobe gently.
He groaned as his cock hardened at your words. "Doll…” He swallowed hard, looking into your eyes.
"Are you going to give me what I want?" You asked.
"If... If that's what you want. Then, yes."
"Then prove it to me. Kiss me."
He hesitated, but leaned forward and kissed you. His lips were soft and warm. You deepened the kiss, moaning softly as you felt his tongue slip between your parted lips. Your hands moved to his shirt, pulling it off. You threw his shirt on the floor and your hands found their way to his belt. You undid his pants and pulled them down, letting his dick spring out.
You reached for his cock and stroked him slowly. He moaned, bucking his hips forward. "Fuck, doll." He breathed.
"You like that, Buck?" You asked.
He nodded. "Yes, so much."
You then positioned yourself above his cock. "You want this?" You teased him, rubbing his cock against your entrance.
"Fuck, doll." He groaned. "I want this."
You smirked. You then sink down on him slowly, taking in every inch of him. He grunted, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "Oh fuck. That's it. Fuck. You feel so good, doll."
You rode him, grinding your hips. "Oh, god." You moaned. He started to thrust into you, groaning. You rode him, picking up the pace. You started riding him as fast as you could. He grunted, his grip on your hips tightening. He started thrusting in and out of you, faster and harder. You were also meeting his thrusts, moaning and whimpering. You pulled his hair, making him moan loudly.
He hit your sweet spot and you were screaming his name. He kept hitting your g-spot. You were getting close. He kept thrusting, faster and harder.
"Fuck, doll. You're so fucking tight. I love how your pussy clenches around me. You're so hot." He pulled your head toward him to kissed you but you denied his lips. You threw your head back, moaning loudly.
"Oh, fuck! Yes! Oh my god!" You screamed, riding him faster. "I'm close. So close."
He reached between your legs, rubbing your clit. You were on the edge, and you needed just a little more to push you over. He rubbed your clit, faster and faster. "Bucky, I'm gonna come!" You cried out.
"Yes, come on my cock. Come for me."
And you came, screaming his name. Your orgasm triggered his. He came, shooting his load inside you. He grunted, thrusting hard. "Holy fuck." He moaned, still thrusting. "You're amazing."
You collapsed onto his chest, panting, wrapping his arms around your waist. Then after you caught your breath, you unwrapped his arms from you and got off him. You rolled your eyes and he was confused. "You didn't let me kiss you earlier, what happened doll? Are you mad at me or something? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, pulling on his boxers and sitting up.
You ignored his questions and stood up, reaching for your scattered clothes. "Y/N, what's wrong?" he pressed, his tone laced with worry.
You smirked at him, "Thanks for that, I needed it." You had taken revenge on using him.
Bucky stood there, stunned and feeling utterly foolish. He couldn't believe he had allowed you to manipulate him like that. "You said we're good..." he protested weakly, his voice filled with hurt and confusion.
Your response was cold and calculated, "Yeah, I said 'we're good for now,' which was then and not right now. So, I got what I needed from you." You didn't spare him a glance as you began to dress, your movements swift. "We're done here." You made a move to leave, but Bucky seized your arms, his grip tight and desperate.
"You're not leaving this room, not until you tell me why the hell you just did that." His eyes pleaded for an explanation, the hurt etched in his features tearing at your resolve. For a fleeting moment, a pang of guilt flickered within you, but you swiftly brushed it aside. "Y/N, stop. You can't just use me for sex," he implored.
A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you met his gaze head-on. "I can, and I did. Now, let go of me," you retorted, pushing him away with unyielding determination.
His eyes were now full of anger and disbelief. "So all this time, you were just acting? Pretending to be okay with me? Pretending that you've forgiven me? All this time, you didn't actually forgive me?!"
"Ha! Please, when did I said I forgive you? What do you think I am? A fool? You don't get to act like the victim here. It's your fault!” You yelled at him.
"You don't think I know that?! I fucked up, Y/N. I made a mistake and I'm sorry.” Running his hand through his hair. “What the fuck!"
"What do you mean 'what the fuck'? It's what you did to me! You fucked me and threw me out. What's wrong with me doing the same to you?" You scoffed, crossing your arms.
"You can't do that, Y/N…"
"I can't do that? I can't do the exact thing you did to me? That's rich, Barnes." He stayed quiet. He didn't have anything to say because he knew you were right.
"How does it feel, Barnes? Fucking hurt, doesn't it?" You said staring at his face. You wanted him to hurt just like how you did, you wanted to hurt him. He flinched, his jaw clenching. You were glad he was in pain, it gave you satisfaction. You wanted him to suffer.
He stared at you, his blue eyes filled with pain. You ignored it and started walking toward the door.
"Wait! Y/N please. Don't go. Stay." He pleaded as he grabbed your arm, "I... I was a jerk. I was scared and stupid. And... I was a fool, I don't want this to be over…” He said while looking into your eyes with his blue orbs. “Please, Y/N, just let me fix this…”
"I wish it were that simple. But it's not. It's too late. I guess we were doomed from the start." You said and ripped your arm from his grasp. “You don't get to hold me anymore. Don't ever come near me again. I mean it." You said sternly.
He stood there, tears welling up in his eyes, helpless and uncertain, fully aware that he had messed up beyond repair.
You couldn't stand the sight of Bucky, it broke your heart as much you hate to admit it. It took all your self-control not to run into his arms and hug him. But you had to stand your ground, he hurt you and you had to show him how much it affected you.
You turned around and walked away, then you heard glass shattering behind you. You didn't have to look back to know that the mirror had broken. Bucky had punched the mirror in his anger and frustration.
You walked out of the door, slamming it behind you.
And with that, you left him standing there, alone and broken.
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Couple weeks after that you avoided Bucky like a plague. You were trying to forget about him and move on with your life. You never look at him and whenever he was near you, you would use every excuse to walk away or leave the room. If you were stuck in a situation where you had to interact with him, you kept it professional and didn't engage in any unnecessary conversation. Your relationship with Bucky had always been strained right from the beginning, making it no surprise to the other Avengers. So, your growing distance and avoidance tactics went unnoticed.
Bucky was trying his best to keep his distance from you, far enough so you would be comfortable but close enough so he could make sure that you were safe. You knew he was still trying to apologize and fix things with you. You didn't understand why he was doing this, his words, his touch, the way he's looking at you. You didn't need his apology, didn't want his sympathy. You didn't need him. Not now.
Every time he saw you, he would always try to catch your eye, but you never looked back. It was a little hard at first, since he had to see you almost every day, but as time went by, you guys had less interaction because of missions.
Now you were allowed back into the mission field and you were craving it. It took your mind off Bucky and it helped you forget about him.
You didn't need him in your life.
You wanted nothing to do with him.
But he wanted everything to do with you.
He was desperate.
You had no room in your life for someone who couldn't decide where you stood. The push and pull was exhausting, the mixed signals maddening. You also have gotten your revenge, you should feel satisfied. But you weren't. Why weren't you happy?
After awhile you were back on your normal self and started to move on, not because you stopped caring, but you didn't feel the constant heartache anymore. You could think about Bucky and not start crying or break into a cold sweat.
Meanwhile, Wanda shared the news that the gifts for Vision had been a success. While you were genuinely happy for them, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy deep down.
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One day after a long mission, you were watching TV in the common area when you saw the three musketeers walking towards you. They were laughing and talking. You paid them no attention and just kept watching TV.
Sam was the first to greet you, his friendly smile easing some of the tension within you. "Fancy seeing you here, YN. It's been a while." He settled down beside you, and you scooted over to give him more space, returning his smile.
You smiled, it had been awhile since you saw them, you were actually starting to miss him. You knew it wasn’t their fault what happened between you and Bucky, so you didn't treat him differently.
You were glad to see Sam again, he was the only one that was acting the same around you. Bucky looked over at your direction, and when you saw him you looked away from him.
"Yeah. Been going on missions with Nat." You replied, attempting to keep the conversation casual.
Sam leaned in a bit, "How's that going for you?"
"Really well. I'm learning a lot. Nat is amazing. She taught me some of those moves too. Not as great as hers, but good enough to defend myself," you responded, appreciating the opportunity to share a positive aspect of your life.
"Nice." Sam smiled.
Taking a seat on the chair next to the couch, Steve turned to you with a warm smile. "How are you holding up, Y/N?" Steve asked, you knew he was asking about your emotional well-being.
"Fine," you gave him a little smile.
The room descended into awkward silence. The three men were making an effort to engage in conversation, but your discomfort hung heavy in the air. You didn't want to be mean or rude to them; after all, they had done nothing wrong. But being around Bucky felt almost unbearable, a constant reminder of a painful past.
“We're here for you. If you ever feel like talking, we're all ears." Steve offered gently. "If you want to talk about it, of course. If not, that’s totally fine too."
Bucky tried to intervene, sensing that you were about to share something he might not want to hear. "Steve, don't—"
You felt a surge of frustration, and despite Bucky's warning, you decided to share your pain, partly to hurt him back. "Well, there was this one person," you began.
"Well, there was this one person..” You started, cutting Bucky off. You decided to share your pain, partly to hurt him back, staring at Bucky.
Bucky clenched his jaw and averted his gaze. You saw a flicker of pain in his eyes.
Sam chimed in, "There's always someone.”
"Okay, the truth is that I met a guy." You rolled your eyes, trying to mask your vulnerability with a dismissive tone. "It turns out, he wasn’t the person I thought he was. I thought he liked me, and, well…"
Sam prodded, "Well what?"
"He didn't like me. It was all a joke to him." You paused for dramatic effect, locking eyes with Bucky. "The guy was so cold-hearted, he even admitted that he used me, that I was just a mistake." Your words were pointed, meant to hurt, and your gaze bore into Bucky as you sought to inflict the same pain, he had caused you.
Sam was visibly uncomfortable. Steve's face fell. Bucky stared at the floor, his fists clenched.
"Oh. That's... that's unfortunate. I'm sorry. Are you alright?" Steve asked gently, concern etched in his voice.
"Yes. I'll be fine. It's not the end of the world. I mean, it hurts. But I'll live." You answered.
Sam's expression twisted into a mix of anger and empathy. "That's beyond messed up. If I were there, I would beat him up."
"Yeah," you replied, your tone bitter. "But, don’t worry I already paid him back.”
Bucky looked guilty, his expression mirroring the remorse he felt. He shifted uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the floor. He stayed silent, stayed silent, fully aware of the pain he had inadvertently caused you.
“Nice! This is why I like you, Y/N!” Sam nodded in understanding. "So, what's your plan now?"
"Moving on," you replied, your voice steady. "I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me sad."
"Good call," Sam said, his tone filled with assurance. "You're amazing, Y/N. Whoever ends up with you will be incredibly lucky. He doesn't deserve your attention. And here's the best part: when you find someone better and move on, he'll be left regretting ever hurting you. That, my friend, is the sweetest revenge."
You nodded, touched by his supportive words. "Thanks, Sam. You're the best."
The atmosphere gradually shifted back to normal as you grabbed a beer to pregame before Tony's party. However, you kept avoiding Bucky's gaze, your responses becoming short and distant.
While Steve was talking with Bucky, Sam leaned closer, his voice low as he whispered into your ear, "Maybe what you ordered worked after all."
You pulled away from him, narrowing your eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Sam smirked knowingly, "You know what I mean," he whispered back, his tone playful and suggestive.
"No, I don't." Your confusion deepened, genuinely puzzled by his words. You hadn't ordered anything, so what was he talking about?
The realization struck you suddenly, and you smacked his thigh in disbelief. "You did not!" The shock in your voice echoed around the room, leaving everyone stunned by your reaction.
Sam laughed heartily, "What? What did I do?" He feigned innocence, grinning mischievously.
"Come on, Sam, stop teasing her," Steve chimed in, giving Sam an amused yet admonishing look.
"I swear, man, I wasn't," Sam protested with a chuckle.
Natasha, always one to read between the lines, chimed in, appearing out of nowhere. "We all know you enjoy teasing the girl."
Sam looked genuinely surprised. "Damn, Nat, can you please not sneak up on me? I almost had a heart attack."
Natasha simply smirked, her response dripping with amusement. "You'll be fine." Her nonchalant remark only fueled the laughter in the room, leaving you momentarily flustered.
You were about to press Sam with more questions, but he managed to divert the conversation, addressing Natasha instead. "When's the party starting, Nat?" His timing seemed convenient, clearly trying to avoid further interrogation.
Natasha checked at her watch and then back at the group, "In about an hour or so, but I need to go now. I have some things to finish."
Ever the gentleman, Sam promptly stood up. "I'll help you, Nat," he offered, his tone earnest.
"That's sweet of you, Sam. Maybe I can find you a girl that likes bird costumes." She joked and the group laughed.
"Funny." Sam said sarcastically, then they walked away.
"Sam!" You called after him, but he continued walking, seemingly ignoring you. Frustration bubbling within, you raised your voice, "Get back here!"
Feeling the heat of embarrassment rise in your cheeks, you huffed in annoyance and sank back into your seat. The room fell into an awkward silence, and you shifted uncomfortably under the watchful gaze of Steve and Bucky.
You met their eyes, "What?" you snapped, but they only exchanged a subtle glance, their expressions unreadable.
Deciding you had had enough, you stood up abruptly. "Alright, I'm going as well. I need to start getting ready," you announced, trying to sound composed despite your frustration.
Bucky made a move to follow you, but Steve quickly caught his arm, holding him back. "No," Steve whispered, his voice barely audible. "Don't, not yet."
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Time for the party, it was to celebrate the mission succeed. Tony arrived with Pepper, Wanda, and Vision. Then soon everyone gathered. He was keeping the party small though, only Avengers and close friends. It was a small party though.
In the midst of the party, as people bustled around grabbing food and chatting, you discreetly pulled Sam aside. "Did you know the inside of it?" you whispered.
Sam simply looked at you with a mischievous smile, "Umm no?" Sam teased, his grin widening.
Frustration tugged at you. "Ugh, come on, Sam. Just spill it," you urged.
He chuckled, enjoying your perplexity. "Yes, Y/N, guilty as charged. I was the one who accepted the delivery," he confessed, his tone lighthearted. Your playful annoyance was evident as you lightly hit his chest. "You weren't there. You've been MIA for the past couple of weeks.”
"Oh my god, Sam, you're a dick," you groaned, shaking your head at his antics. "That's rude, you shouldn't snoop around people's packages. It's an invasion of privacy."
"It wasn't on purpose, okay?" Sam defended himself, his grin unyielding. "I can read where it's from, and you don't need to be a genius to guess what's inside. So, yeah, I knew. And you know, it was really interesting to see the stuff you ordered," he teased, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. You just want to dig a hole and bury yourself.
As you both grabbed food together, you shot him a warning glare. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Don't worry, my lips are sealed," he assured, trying to be serious but failing to hide his amusement.
"It better be. If you tell anyone, I will kill you," you growled, half-joking but also dead serious.
"So, any plans with it?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Sam," you warned him, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.
"Just saying. It's a very interesting device. It has so many settings and functions. It would make things easier," he continued, unable to resist teasing you further. "I'm sure it would come in handy," Sam chuckled, taking a bite of his food.
Your eyes widened in disbelief, feeling embarrassed. “Shut up," you hissed, wanting to hide and disappear, not knowing what else to say.
“Any guy would love it. If you know what I mean," he added, nudging you playfully and making you blush even more.
"You are making me uncomfortable," you whined, pouting like a child. "I am not talking to you anymore," you mumbled.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he said, holding up his hands in surrender. “It's perfectly normal. Don't be shy," he said, his words meant to be comforting but the smug smirk on his face was anything but. You groaned, wishing the earth would swallow you up right then and there. Dropping your face in your hands, hiding behind them.
“How did you know it was for me? I could've bought it as a present for a friend or family. And, you can't just accept someone else's package."
"Because you wrote your name on it," Sam pointed out, his expression playful. "You could've used a random name if it was meant to be a secret. And come on, I was the only one there. What was I supposed to tell the delivery guy? 'Hey, this package isn't mine, can you go back to the warehouse, please?'"
Taking a bite of your food, you couldn't help but chuckle at his logic. He had a way of making even the most awkward situations seem amusing.
Sam chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. "So, you bought sex toys and lingerie as a present?"
You were about to answer him when Tony dinked the glass and said, "Hello everyone, thanks for coming here." He paused as everyone clapped. "Let's raise our glasses for all of us, may we have a great year." Everyone raised their glass and cheered.
Before everyone drink, Tony stopped us "Not you kid." He pointed at Peter, "You're not allowed to have alcohol, go drink some soda."
"Aww come on, Mr. Stark. I’m not a kid anymore." Peter protested, attempting to sound mature.
"No, and don't complain or I'll kick you out."
“Fine.” Peter rolled his eyes but left to grab a soda.
You smiled as you saw Pepper leaning against Tony's side. They looked happy. You couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at their public display of affection. You wanted that with Bucky. You sighed, looking down at the drink in your hand.
You were sitting between Sam and Bruce. Bruce was quiet most of the time and Sam kept talking to you and Bruce. You had fun and the food was great. You didn't really drink that much, you just had two or three drinks.
Across from you, Bucky's glances were hard to ignore. His expression was far from cheerful, but you relished in his irritation. Seizing the opportunity, you continued to emphasize your closeness with Sam, subtly trying to provoke Bucky.
Sam tapped you and leaned in again to whispered, "You still haven't answered my question."
You shot him a playful grin. "Didn't know you were so curious, Sam. Besides, I don't feel obligated to reveal my secrets."
"Touché, Y/N, touché," Sam replied, a smirk playing on his lips. " But come on, humor a man, will you?"
"Alright, how about this? I bought it for a friend," you responded casually. “They're just really shy about it."
Sam raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eye, "Oh yeah, and does this friend have a name?"
"They do, but I don't have to tell you everything," you said with a smile.
Sam nodded, and smiled back, "You're right, you don't." You saw Bucky sat in front of you, looking like he was about to kill someone. You smirked on the inside, knowing it was working. "I'll tell you something though, they're pretty lucky to have a friend like you."
"Well, I am the best." You winked at Sam.
He was going to say something when the two of you were interrupted. "I need to talk to you," Bucky growled at Sam.
"I'm in the middle of a conversation, can't it wait?"
"No," Bucky responded, glaring at him.
You knew Bucky was jealous, you could tell by the look in his eyes, and you liked it. You smirked, "Yeah, Barnes. Don't be rude, you're interrupting us."
Bucky looked at you, and he could tell by the look in your eye, that you knew what you were doing, and were enjoying it. He clenched his jaw and staring at you.
Sam smiled, "It's fine, I have to use the bathroom anyway. Talk to you later?"
You nod, smiling at him, "Sure thing, Sam."
He got up, and you watched as he and Bucky walked to the other side of the room, talking quietly. You wished you knew what they were saying, but you had a feeling that it was about you.
"That was interesting," Wanda said, making you look at her.
"What do you mean? It was nothing."
She smirked, "You're an awful liar, and I can tell when you're trying to make a certain someone jealous."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Just a bit." Wanda smiled. "But he deserved it, he was being a dick to you, so you can have a little fun."
"Exactly."
"But remember, don't let it go too far."
You nodded, looking back at them. They were still talking, but Sam had his back to you, so you couldn't see his expression. Then he turned around and walked back towards you.
"Hey, I gotta go. Thanks for the chat, I'll talk to you later."
You smiled and said, "Oh where are you going? We could hang out more."
"I have work to do."
"On a Saturday?"
"Yes, the glamorous life of an Avenger," Sam quipped.
You sighed dramatically, a playful pout forming on your lips. "Fine, have fun saving the world."                  
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Sam winked at you.
You scoffed, "Please, I’m not a child."
"Whatever you say," Sam said, laughing as he walked away.
Rolling your eyes, you let out a sigh, focusing on your drink. It was clear that Bucky had a hand in this – he was the only one with any issue against Sam. But it seemed to work, because as soon as you started talking to Sam, you could see the anger in Bucky's eyes. You ignored him.
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As the night wore on, the music grew louder, and the crowds began to dance. It was a great party. You were sitting at the bar, drinking a glass of whiskey. You didn't feel like dancing or partying, you didn't have the energy to do it.
You turned around and caught a glimpse of Steve and Bruce dancing with Wanda and Natasha. Then Bucky came beside you, his eyes focused on something. He was leaning against the counter, his back to you. A sigh escaped your lips, and you rolled your eyes discreetly, wondering why he continued to linger around you.
He finally glanced over his shoulder, his blue eyes meeting yours, and he offered you a small smile. Just as you contemplated leaving, Bucky spoke up, "I see you're getting comfortable with Sam."
Not in the mood for an argument, you nonchalantly shrugged and responded, "He's a good friend."
Bucky's voice lowered, and he muttered, "A little too friendly, don't you think?"
You met his intensity with a nonchalant attitude, taking another sip of your whiskey. "So?"
"What do you mean, 'so'?" Bucky's frown deepened. "Can't you see? He's flirting with you and you flirted back. He’s all over you."
"And?"
"Why would you do that?!" He asked.
"I believe that's none of your concern, Barnes." You continued to sip your drink, maintaining your composure.
"I care about you," Bucky said quietly.
You snorted, turning your attention back to your glass.
Bucky shifted in his seat, turning to face you. He placed his hand on top of yours, causing you to flinch. "I mean it, Y/N. And Sam is my friend.”
Then you raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Am I not allowed to be friends with him? I don't have any problem with him."
Bucky's jaw clenched, his frustration boiling over, "Look, Y/N. You and Sam are getting very close. Friends don't do that. Do you know how he looked at you?"
A mischievous glint lit up your eyes as you prodded, "Oh, how is it? Tell me."
"Like he's about to jump you anytime," Bucky replied, his tone tense with disapproval.
"Is that a bad thing, Barnes?" you teased, your smile intentionally provocative, knowing it irked him.
"Of course, it is," Bucky snapped, his patience wearing thin.
You couldn't help but chuckle, finding his jealousy rather entertaining. As Bucky's patience wore thin, he snapped, "This is no laughing matter."
"Sure it is," you retorted, your voice light and teasing. "Why even care? You made it clear that it was just a heat-of-the-moment thing. So, perhaps I’ll fuck him next. It seems like he's interested." Casually, you finished your drink and set the empty glass on the counter. "Thanks for the heads-up." You turned to leave, but his hand shot out to your wrist, stopping you from getting up. Your gaze flickered between the metal hand and his eyes.
"The fuck you won’t." Bucky's voice was low, his expression hard, his jaw clenched tightly. “If he touches you, I’ll break his arm."
Instantly, you yanked your hand away, your eyes narrowing in defiance. "Don't touch me," you warned, your voice sharp with anger, setting a clear boundary against his possessiveness.
Bucky's blue eyes flashed with anger, his fists clenched at his sides. "Don’t fucking touch him. Or anyone.” He leaned closer to you, your body tense. “Because, I'm the only one who should touch you," he growled, his voice low and dangerous.
You met his glare head-on. "And why would I do that? So you can break my heart again? No thanks. I'm not a toy that you can play with, and discard when you're bored.”
Bucky clenched his jaw, and grabbed your arms, pushing you against the counter. "No, I don't want to see you with him. You're mine."
With an exasperated sigh, you held his gaze, your patience wearing thin. You didn't want to continue this game of emotional tug-of-war. "Let me remind you, Barnes," you said, your voice steady but firm, "Last I check, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. You made it very fucking clear that I was a mistake and you used me.”
You attempted to leave, but Bucky's grip on your arm tightened, pulling you closer. His touch sent an electric jolt through you, "Last I check, you belong to me when you were begging and squirming as I fucked you, doll. I can make you forget him, I can fuck you better than him. I'll show you how a man fucks his woman, doll."
His words sent a shiver down your spine and you could feel your core pulsed. Goddamn it, why did he have this effect on you. Despite the undeniable physical reaction, you mentally reinforced your resolve.
“Nope. I learned my lesson. And did you forget about what I said to you? Don’t go near me," you replied nonchalantly. "Now if you'll excuse me." You tugged at your hand, wanting to break free, but he held fast.
He held your hand and pulled you back to him. "No," he said simply.
"Yeah, well, I'm done taking orders from you," you shot back, refusing to back down, though your heart raced in your chest.
"I'm not letting you be with him, Y/N," Bucky asserted, his voice low and possessive.
"That decision isn't yours to make," you declared, avoiding his gaze, aware that meeting his eyes might shatter your resolve.
"Why? What's the problem, Y/N?" he pressed, his frustration evident.
"Are you seriously asking me that?” You glared at him, “YOU'RE THE PROBLEM! YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM BUCKY!" You yelled and his grip loosened, and you pulled away from him. You didn't care that the room had fallen silent, with everyone's attention now focused on your heated exchange. Unfazed by the sudden silence, you continued, "I'm tired of your excuses, your indecision, and your damn games. It's always one step forward and two steps back with you. I told you I’m done!"
"So you're done with me, and now you have Sam, so you'll follow him around?" Bucky's words were laced with bitterness and jealousy. "Who's next, huh? Steve? He's Captain America; you should fuck at him instead, climb him like a tree. Or better yet, maybe you can do all of us. Let us have a go."
Regret instantly washed over him as he realized how hurtful his words had been. "I'm really sorry," he began, "I didn't mean—"
But it was too late. Your anger boiled over, and without thinking, your hand flew across his face, the sharp sound of the slap echoing in the room. "What did I do for you to treat me like this?" you demanded.
"Is it because I joined the team because of my connection with Fury?" Your tone cut through the air like a razor. "I worked for this for years. I’ve fought, bled, sacrificed, and pushed myself to the limits, all to be an Avenger. I earned my place, damn it. Do I not deserve it? Why are you punishing me? Fucking tell me!”
You were beyond caring about the eyes fixed on the unfolding drama. 'Let them gossip,' you thought bitterly, your focus solely on the man before you.
“Sorry that life was hard on you, but don’t make it hard for anyone else either," you continued, "No, you know what? I'm not sorry. Life is shit sometimes, and that's just how it is. You have a right to be upset and have feelings, Barnes. But the way you treat people, the way you treat me like trash, that's not okay. It's not fair, and I won't stand for it any longer."
His jaw tensed, and for a moment, it seemed like he wanted to say something. But you didn't give him the chance. "Oh, my bad. Feeling is a foreign word to you, right? Maybe they died when you fell off that train in the '40s."
He could only watch as tears welled up in your eyes, as his mouth moved but no words came out. He was speechless. He couldn't say anything, only guilt was evident on his face.
"Or maybe you forgot how they work. Since you been the Winter Soldier for so long, your emotions are a bit rusty. How does one even deal with feelings and shit when they're programmed to not have them? When they're forced to kill, hurt, and torture innocent people.”
Your tone was merciless, and you instantly regretted your words as you saw the hurt flash across Bucky's face. But you couldn’t stop, the dam had burst, unable to halt the torrent of pent-up frustration.
“They turn you into a weapon. Is that who you are, Barnes? A weapon, a monster without a soul. You've lost all your feelings, all that remains is a cold-blooded, heartless killer. The Winter fucking Soldier.” Your words spat out.
His jaw clenched, and his hands formed fists, his usual rage replaced by a profound sadness. "You’re right… I'm nothing but a monster..."
Steve stepped forward, trying to mediate the escalating tension. "Come on, guys, let's all just take a moment to cool down," Steve said, attempting to diffuse the situation.
You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his predictable attempt to intervene between you both. "Oh, no, Steve, there's no need to cool down," you retorted, "because there's no fire, except for the flames of my rage. Your best friend here is the one who started the fire."
"Y/N-" Bucky tried to say something, but his words trailed off, lost in the thickness of the charged atmosphere.
“I thought there was more to you than just the Winter Soldier, but every time I see you, you prove me wrong." But your fury was uncontainable, and you turned to face Bucky again, your eyes ablaze with righteous anger. "Stay the fuck away from me, Barnes. Don't come near me. Don't talk to me. Don't even fucking look at me."
Feeling the weight of your anger and frustration, you turned abruptly and rushed towards the exit. You were done, utterly fed up, unable to bear it any longer. Unbeknownst to you, tears slipped down your cheeks. With a swift motion, you wiped away the tears, refusing to let them further betray your vulnerability.
As you strode through the streets, lost in your thoughts, you found your mind drifting back to a time when Bucky had attempted to apologize. You were still so mad at him for what he'd done, you were not going to forgive him any time soon.
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One night, you were sitting on the sofa in the common room, trying to focus on your book, when the door opened. You saw Bucky coming in and he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you. You immediately got up, wanting to leave before things got bad.
But, of course, Bucky couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Hey, doll, how are you?"
You didn't answer, grabbing your book and trying to walk away.
He followed you, "Doll, can we talk?"
You were already walking down the hall when he said that, "I don't have anything to say."
"Then just listen, please." Bucky almost begged,
You stopped, sighing and rolling your eyes. You turned around, and crossed your arms, not wanting him to come near you. "I don't have to." You walked faster to your room.
"Please I'll do anything, just let me apologize, I'm begging you!" Bucky was following you still,
You turned around, "Why would I want you to do anything with you? Just leave me alone." You said, turning around and continuing walking.
"C'mon, Doll, I know you hate me, but let me apologize and explain myself.” Bucky said,
You didn't even bother looking at him and kept walking faster.
"Doll, just please," Bucky was starting to get desperate.
You got into your room and locked the door. He knocked couple of times but you ignored him. You put on your headphone and blasted the music. You could hear Bucky banging the door. You were ignoring him until he didn't go away. You turned the volumes up to a deafening level and tried to drown out his voice.
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The memory dissolved abruptly as you felt a hand on your wrist, your reflexes primed for confrontation. You whipped around, ready to hit the person behind you, but the person behind you caught your fist. Your eyes flashed with anger.
"What the fuck do you want? Why are you still following me?" you seethed, your voice dripping with contempt. "Fuck off. You're the last person I want to see right now."
Bucky tightened his grip on your wrist, his eyes pleading with sincerity. "I'm so sorry. I know that's not enough, and it doesn't make it better, but I need you to understand how truly sorry I am. I can't bear the thought of losing you."
You scoffed, "Yeah, sure. Tell that to someone else.” you retorted, your tone laced with bitterness. "I'm sick of hearing apologies." You attempted to pull away, but he held firm.
"I meant it, Y/N." Bucky insisted, his voice earnest. "I'm telling the truth. I'm an idiot, and I made a stupid decision. I'm trying my best to make up for it."
"Go," you demanded, your voice breaking as your frustration boiled over. "I don't want to see you. Just leave me alone."
"Y/N, please…" Bucky persisted, his voice laced with desperation. He walked beside you, oblivious to the curious gazes from passersby. You stared around, people started to recognize him since he was the famous Winter Soldier. Even when he was wearing casual clothes, and not in his Winter Soldier uniform, his metal arm still drew attention.
You walked faster, wanting to get away from him. But he was faster. You didn’t want people to notice that the infamous Winter Soldier was following you, so you stopped. "Just leave me alone!" you yelled, your anger fueling your words.
As soon as you yelled, the bystanders gasped and started whispering amongst themselves. The last thing you needed was more drama and attention toward you. Embarrassment washed over you, and you turned to run, desperate to escape the public scrutiny. Bucky matched your every step. He reached out and grasped your hand, refusing to let you go.
In an attempt to break free, you fought against his hold, muscles straining with the effort. "Let go of me, Buck!" you protested, attempting to wrench yourself away from him. The crowd around you seemed to blur into a background hum as your focus remained solely on Bucky.
"Not until we settle this," he replied, his voice low and intense, his fingers tightening around your arms.
Your glare deepened, frustration boiling over. "There's nothing to settle here, Barnes. Now, let go of me. Before I make you," you warned, your tone sharp with anger and defiance.
A stubborn glint flickered in his eyes. "No." His grip tightened slightly, his jaw clenched with resolve. "Make me, Y/N," he challenged, his voice steady. "I know you're strong, so make me."
In a surge of frustration, you summoned all your strength and pushed against him with all your might. Bucky stumbled backward, losing his balance, and fell to the ground.
You stood over him, your voice laced with defiance. "There," you panted, your chest heaving with emotion, "I did it. I hope you're happy."
Bucky remained silent, but the bystanders, their eyes wide with disbelief, started recording the scene with their phones, capturing the unexpected sight of you standing tall over the fallen Winter Soldier. The urge to smash their phones surged within you, but you resisted, your focus solely on the man at your feet.
"Well, I'm going. You're making a scene,” you declared, taking your first steps away from the growing commotion.
"I just want to talk, doll." He got up.
"And I don’t wanna listen." Yet Bucky, refusing to let you go that easily, got up and followed after you, his footsteps echoing behind you. Your patience wearing thin, you spun around, your eyes ablaze with anger. "Stop following me you creep!"
Having had enough, Bucky seized you and pulled you into a nearby alley. He pinned your arms against the wall, a conflicted look in his eyes. "Let me go," you growled, straining to break free from his firm hold.
"You know that I can't. I won't.” Bucky replied, his voice tinged with remorse.
A surge of panic gripped you, "If you don't, I'll scream." Your threat to scream hanging in the air.
You were about to let out a piercing cry when Bucky swiftly placed his hand over your mouth. "Don't scream. Please," he implored, his eyes pleading with you. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you."
In response, you bit down on his hand, but he didn’t flinch. "I know you're furious. You have every right to be. But I’m truly sorry.” Bucky's words poured out, sincere and raw. "Please just give me time to explain everything."
You maintained your glare, your eyes brimming with tears you refused to shed. And finally, Bucky released his grip on your mouth and hands, taking a step back, giving you room to breathe. His voice softened, carrying the weight of his regret. "Listen to me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.”
You tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge, not that it did anything, the metal arm didn't even move. His eyes were begging, and he looked sincere, you wanted to believe him, but you couldn't.
"Go to hell! I hate you!" The dam finally broke, tears spilling over. You felt weak and vulnerable, consumed by anger and hurt. You then hit his chest, "I hate you!" Hit it again, "You're the worst!" Hit it again, "You fucking hurt me!"
You hammered his chest repeatedly to vent out. Bucky stood there, unmoved, letting you vent your rage on him. You were crying hard at this point. You were upset that he saw you like this, looking weak.
Then you felt tired emotionally, you stopped hitting him as you realized what a mess you're becoming. Your hands hurt because you were hitting him too much. He grabbed your wrists, "Doll you are hurting yourself, stop pushing me.. don't hurt yourself."
"You did it first! You hurt me, you broke my heart." You continued pushing him, "let go of me, please." You started crying harder, you couldn't see because of the tears and your head was throbbing.
You dropped down your gaze to the ground not wanting to see his face. You didn't know why he was acting like this, you were so fed up. "I don't want to see your face, Barnes. I can't believe you had the audacity to still show up in front of me. When you know that you're a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be forgiven."
He let go of your arms and you wanted to push him away but you were so tired, so exhausted. He placed his hand beside your head caging you in, you knew he was staring at you. "I know… I'm a monster. I know I didn't deserve you. I'm sorry… for everything."
You stayed silent and just crying, your heart aching at the memories. It was so painful.
"I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just wanted you to know. But I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of the things I said. I'm the monster, not you. You're everything good and I'm nothing." You continued to stay silent not wanting to give in.
You couldn't hold your emotions in anymore, so you just cried. He wiped your tears from your eyes and you shook your head not wanting him to touch you, you hated it, you hated that he was here. He sighed and removed his hand from your face.
You felt like he deserved it, he hurt you, and you want him to feel the pain. He stepped back a few steps, giving you space. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Doll." He apologized, "I'm a fucking asshole and a coward. I should have never done that."
"Please doll, don't cry… I'm really sorry… I shouldn't say those words. I shouldn't hurt you." You continued to cry, "Tell me what to do to make it stop."
"Just go away, Bucky." Your voice barely whispered.
"Do you really hate me that much, doll?" You nodded at him, "Will it make it better if I go away?"
You stayed silent, this was what you wanted, for him to leave. But why did you feel so hurt? You didn't answer him, you couldn't answer him.
Instead you just sobbed like a mess. "Y/N, please, look at me." You didn't, you were so tired of everything, you couldn't even lift a finger. You felt numb and just sad, it hurt so much.
"Please, doll. I'm a jerk, a horrible person. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” He dropped down on his knees looking at you with sad eyes, begging. “Please. I need you. I can't lose you."
You were shocked, the most feared assassin in the world was on his knees, in front of you. He looked at you, and you just shook your head. He was being sincere and genuine, but you couldn't accept it. "I need you, please. Give me a chance, let me make it up to you. I beg of you, don't leave me." He was being sincere and genuine, but you couldn't accept it.
You were looking at him crying, not knowing what to do. There wasn't an excuse, nothing would make this better. You felt your heart break, seeing him like this made your heart ache. You had so much pain inside of you. You just couldn't.
"Bucky, just stop." You tried to made him stand up but he wouldn't. "Get up, this is stupid."
He shook his head, "Not until you give me a chance. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I'm not even worthy of looking at you, but please, let me have a chance." He looked up at you with tearful eyes.
"Don't do this. You're making it worse." You said and he grabbed your hand, "If it means I get a chance, then I'm not getting up. Just please, tell me what I can do."
You closed your eyes. This is so wrong, he was so wrong, this is not right. "I can't do this, this is crazy." You closed your eyes tightly and sighed. You were conflicted.
He shook his head and cried, "I didn't know what came over me, I wasn't good at expressing my feelings, I don't know what else to say, except that I'm sorry.”
You scoffed, "And why do you think you have the right to say that, after all the shit you've done?"
He looked at you, and spoke, "Because, I was wrong, and I'm really sorry."
You didn't want to give in but he was looking at you with such an innocent expression, he looked so broken and helpless. "Sorry just doesn't cut it, Barnes.”
He was quiet for a moment, then spoke, "I know I don't, doll. I know I'm a monster. A murderer. I don't have a right to live." He said in between sobs, and you couldn't help but feel pity towards him. "I've given up all my hopes and dreams when I've been in the hydra. But you give me hope, doll. You give me dreams."
His eyes were filled with sadness, tears streaming down his face. "The minute I saw you, you were everything that was right. I didn't know who you were, and I had no idea how I was going to tell Steve, or anyone. I was afraid. So, I tried to stay away, but the more I was away, the more I missed you.”
Your heart beat faster, you felt something in your stomach. You couldn't describe it, you went to knelt in front of him, he didn't dare to meet your gaze. "Bucky, look at me.”
"I don't have the right, doll. I don't deserve to look at you." He said in between his sobs. “I'm a monster. I deserve to die, not to love."
"You are not a monster.” You placed your hand on his cheek, stroking it gently, hoping it would soothe him. “I’m sorry too for hurting you for all the things I said to you...”
He leaned into your touch, placing his hand over yours. "Please, don't apologize. It was all my fault. I caused this, I hurt you." He whispered.
"We both hurt each other, Bucky. We both fucked up.”
He still didn't meet your gaze. You held his chin and forced him to look at you. You cupped his cheeks, he looked so broken. You wiped his tears, and said, "Why did you say those things to me? Why you said I was a mistake? Why did you say you used me? Why Bucky?"
He took a deep breath and said “Because I was afraid that if I got close, I'll just end up hurting you. I always fuck up in the end somehow, look what I did. I'm such a stupid man. I'm an idiot and an asshole." He took your hands from his face, kissing them before placing them back to his cheeks. "I've never felt anything for anyone. I've never loved anyone, never been in love. Not until I met you. When I'm with you, I feel different. When you smiled at me, when you look at me, I feel that I could be a better man. I want to be a better man for you. You make me feel, you make me alive, you made me happy. You showed me a new life. You're everything I could've ever dreamed of. You're perfect and I don't deserve you."
His hand then touched your hand caressing it lightly, "I was really going to confess everything to you that night. I was going to tell you that I like you, and ask you if I can take you out, or if I can have the chance to show you how much you mean to me. That you make my heart beat fast, and how my whole body goes numb, and my skin tingles when I'm around you. I wanted to tell you that I love you, because I'm pretty sure that I do. But, when I was about to do it, I knocked on your door couple of times, but you didn't answer, so I thought that maybe you were already asleep. So I decided to wait until the next day.”
He took a deep breath before he continued. "That morning, I got a message from the victim's family when I killed them as winter soldier. They told me how they wished that I died instead. How they wished that it was me. And they said they had a daughter, and her name was Bianca. They said, she was beautiful and full of life. They said, if it wasn't for me, their daughter wouldn't have been murdered."
Your heart broke at his confession, but you stayed silent, listening to him, you couldn’t speak, not yet.
He confessed as he looked at you, his eyes filled with tears, and you couldn't help but cry too. "I felt so guilty hearing them said that. I was angry because of what I did. I was mad at myself, and I didn't want you to get involved with someone like me. I can't have anyone else get hurt. I don't know what I’ll do if anything happens to you."
You pulled him into a tight hug, and he clung to you. His arms wrapped around your waist. "I wanted to push you away, you deserve someone better. I thought, maybe if I was a jerk, you would stop liking me. But as soon as I realized, I regretted everything.”
You held him tighter, your heart aching for him. He sobbed quietly, burying his face into your neck. “I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. You were never mine, but losing you broke me. It was so hard for me to keep myself away from you when all I want is to be with you. I know it, and I don't deserve you.”
"It's okay, I'm here." You rubbed his back, trying to calm him down.
He broke the hug and looked at your eyes, "You have every right not to believe me, but please. Give me a chance. One last chance, and if you decide you still hate me, then I'll let you go. But please, please give me a chance to prove myself."
You didn't know what to do. He was broken, and he was begging you for a chance. It was the least you could do. You were conflicted, but your heart won over, you couldn't bear to see him on his knees like this. "Okay, Bucky. But first let's stand up, my legs are killing me."
He pulled you up, his arms encircling your waist, pulling you flush against him. "I won't disappoint you, doll. I promise. I will make it up to you, and if it takes me forever, then I'll do it."
You stood and looked at him, "Bucky, if we're going to do this. You must promise me, no more secrets. We have to be honest to each other. We have to learn to talk about our problems, and we have to try and understand each other. If you have something bothering you, don't push me away. Come and talk to me."
"Okay, I promise." He nodded, "Thank you, doll. For giving me a chance. I won't fail you." He pulled you closer, his hands gripping your hips, his eyes burning with lust.
You looked at him and smiled, he looked back at you and gave you a small smile. "But that doesn't mean I already forgive you. It's going to take some time, but I want us to work on this. Together."
"Yeah, I know. I will beg every minute if it takes.” His hands moved to your hips, holding you firmly in place. You both stood there in silence before he asked, "Doll, what are we now?"
"What do you mean?" You knew what he was asking but you pretended to not know.
"Doll, can I ask you out? Will you be my girl?"
You relished the moment, letting him wait with a playful pause. His nervous anticipation brought a smile to your face. "Yes, if you'll have me."
Bucky sighed in relief, "Finally!" A broad smile adorned his face as he hugged you tightly, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. Laughter bubbled from within you. "Thank you, doll." He gently set you down, and you both stared at each other.
You then wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He was shocked at first, but soon his arms wrapped around your waist. He kissed back and it was the most passionate kiss ever.
You then wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He was shocked at first, but soon enough, he responded. You moaned into the kiss, your body melting into his embrace, and his arms circled your waist, pulling you closer.
His tongue brushed against your lower lip, asking for entrance. You parted your lips, allowing his tongue to slip inside, tasting your mouth. Your tongue danced with his. His tongue explored every inch of your mouth. His hand found its way into your hair, tugging slightly, eliciting another moan from you. He pulled back and pecked your lips, smiling softly. "You're beautiful, doll."
You blushed and bit your lower lip, a smirk forming on your face. "You're not so bad yourself, sergeant."
He chuckled and shook his head, "You're making me blush, doll."
“Shut up, kiss me again.” You tugged his collar and pulled him closer, your lips colliding in a passionate kiss. You two had a lot to talk about, but that could wait. Right now, you just wanted to stay in his arms. You wanted him.
Bucky then grabbed your ass and lifted you, and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You felt the wall behind you and Bucky placed his metal arm on the wall.
You felt his erection rubbing on your center, and he started grinding his hips into yours. You felt him rub against you and moan into your mouth. "Ahh, Bucky."
You could feel him twitching through his jeans, and his metal hand moved from the wall, to under your shirt. He caressed your stomach and moved his hand upwards. Your heart was pounding, and you were excited.
He stopped the kiss and placed his forehead on yours. “Doll, can I?"
"Yes." You whispered.
His hand cupped your breast, and he groaned. “You drive me crazy, doll." He pinched your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moaned and he placed his other hand down your pants. You felt him pull your pants down, and he slipped his fingers in between your folds.
"Bucky."
"Doll, you're so wet." He groaned, and started to rub your clit. "So beautiful."
His metal hand continued to play with your nipples, and he used his left hand to start rubbing your clit faster. You started to moan louder, and Bucky put his other hand over your mouth.
"Shh, baby, be quiet. I don't want the others hearing." He smirked and removed his hand from your mouth. You bit your lip and his finger started to slide inside you.
"Please Bucky..."
"What do you need, doll?"
"You."
He grinned, "Are you sure? I mean we just made up."
"I'm sure, and plus I've already touched myself thinking of you."
Bucky groaned, "Oh god, that's so fucking hot. Tell me more."
"I was fingering myself and I was thinking about your dick, and how much I needed you. I was thinking of your cock filling me up."
"Oh god, fuck."
"But it wasn't enough, and it would never be enough. I needed your big fat cock to make me cum."
When things got intense, then suddenly you heard something fell down. You both froze and looked around, then Bucky let you go and you were back on your feet.
Then a rat came out, and you and Bucky breathed a sigh of relief. You laughed, and you were blushing.
"Hey, don't laugh." He teased.
"That was a huge ass rat! What was it doing in here?" you exclaimed.
"Welcome to New York, doll. It's a rat haven." he chuckled.
“Ugh, gross." You laughed and shot him a playful glance.
Bucky responded by wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you in for a kiss. "Shall we continue this somewhere more private?" he suggested with a mischievous grin.
"Thought you won't ask." You said, smiling. You kissed him and bit his bottom lip. He moaned and looked at you and smirked. "Lead the way, Sergeant Barnes."
"Anything for you, doll." He guided you outside the alley, holding your hands. As you walked down the street, you felt a nervous excitement. His hand in yours, palms sweaty, he squeezed your hand and shot a warm smile your way.
You couldn't believe that he was actually holding your hand, and he was being nice. You felt something in the pit of your stomach, a good feeling. The man you have been in love with for two years, the man who is now your boyfriend, and the man who is going to take you back home and make you scream his name.
"Wanda saw us you know in the gym, why did you lie about it?" You looked up to him and he averted his gaze.
Bucky face hardened, he looked annoyed, "She told you that?" You nodded in confirmation. He sighed, a conflicted look in his eyes. "I didn't want you to be embarrassed or feel awkward. I thought it was best to say no one saw us. I guess she's a rat, just like those in the alley," he gritted his teeth, frustration building.
You chuckled, "It was awkward, I mean I got blackmail by her into buying her sex toys." You were giggling but Bucky wasn't.
"She did that to you? I'll talk to her." Bucky's tone indicated he was ready to take matters into his own hands.
"No, no, it's fine. Really," you reassured him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "Don't be upset. And please, don't have a word with her. It's between me and her."
"Fine, baby. Only because it’s you who asked me.” He said.
You giggled and leaned up and kissed his cheek. Then Bucky called a taxi and opened the door for you. You blushed and thanked him. He climbed inside the car and sat close to you. He put his arm around your shoulders, and you laid your head on his chest.
The whole ride was silent. You noticed this wasn't the way to the compound, "Where are we going, Buck?"
He rubbed his thumb on your bare skin and you relaxed in his arms. "To my place."
"You have a place? But you live in the compound."
"Yeah, I have a place in Brooklyn. Just for me, no one knows about it, except Steve. I wanted some privacy and peace away from everyone. But, now you're going to know where I live, too."
"Oh, okay." You were so comfortable and calm that you fell asleep. You woke up to a gentle touch of a hand, stroking your hair.
"Wake up, doll. We're here." You arrived at your destination.
You lifted your head and looked at him sleepily. He looked at you and chuckled, "How can you be so cute and sexy at the same time, huh?"
You blushed and giggled, "Shut up."
"C'mon."
He took your hand and guided you inside the building. It was really nice, the hallway was bright and had a fresh scent. It was an old building, but it had a modern vibe. He opened the door and let you in.
It was a spacious studio apartment. The living room was open to the kitchen and the bedroom. "Wow this place is amazing."
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When you turned around, Bucky immediately kissed you and his hands were cupping your face. You smiled as he kissed you and his tongue slid in. The kiss was hungry and passionate, you felt how much he desired you, you could taste him, smell him. He pushed you against the wall and his thigh was pressed between your legs, rubbing you through the fabric.
His body pressed up against yours. His thigh was pressed between your legs, rubbing you through the fabric. He let go of your hand and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. "Mhhh..." Your lips parted and his kisses moved to your neck. You were breathing heavily, moaning his name. His teeth nibbled at the skin and you grabbed his hair.
He moved his hands down your back and cupped your ass, lifting you up. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist and your arms were on his neck. He carried you to the bedroom, his hands were everywhere and you were moaning into the kiss.
He sat on the bed and you were sitting on his lap. "Let's not stop this time, okay?" He looked into your eyes.
"Yes, yes." God yes, it had been too long since you had his cock inside you and you desperately wanted him.
"Good girl." Bucky started kissing your neck and you moved your hips, trying to grind against him. You let out a moan and held his head, running your hands through his hair.  
He started pulling off your clothes and you sat up and took off your shirt. Bucky stopped and was just staring at you. "What are you waiting for?" Your grip tightened around his hair.
"Sorry, just admiring the view." He pulled off his shirt, and then took his pants off. You stared at him, and he was breathtakingly beautiful. His body was chiseled and sculpted like a Greek God, and he was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
"Fuck..." You cursed as he unclasped your bra and began sucking on your left nipple and while his metal hand was kneading your right breast. He did the same to the other side. You were a moaning mess under his touch.
"Your breasts are so perfect, doll. Can't get enough of them."
You kissed him again and began grinding your hips against him. He then grabbed your hips and began grinding you back, you felt him getting hard, and you felt like you were going to explode soon. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were dark, lustful.
You then started to take off your panties. "No, leave them on. That's my job." He threw you on the mattress and got on top of you and started sucking and licking your nipples before he went down kissing your body. He was trailing wet kisses to your stomach. He took off your underwear and spread your legs.
Then he was on his knees, he kissed your inner thigh and made you whine. "So impatient, baby."
"Shut up."
He chuckled and then he was kissing the junction of your thighs and hips.
"Bucky, please!"
He smirked and then licked your slit. Your hands went to his hair and he was holding your hips. He was sucking your clit and licking your entrance. You were writhing under his touch. started licking your pussy, eating you out like a starving man.
"Holy shit... Bucky!" You were panting and he was going deeper and deeper.  You couldn't think straight anymore. All you could think was his mouth on your pussy. His tongue was working wonders on your cunt. You were moaning his name and tugging his hair.
He inserted a finger and pumped slowly, making you gasp and moan. "Ah, Buck, feels good." Your breath hitched.
"I can feel your tight pussy clenching around my finger, Y/N." He said as he added another finger. You arched your back and whimpered. He sucked your clit and pumped his fingers faster.
His fingers were reaching places that you didn't know existed. He sucked harder and was now fucking you with his fingers. You could feel his metal finger and the vibrations were intense.
He curled his fingers and you arched your back. He was sucking your clit and licking, too. Your legs were shaking and he was holding your hips harder.
"Fuck! Bucky!" You couldn't take it anymore. You were so close. "I'm gonna come."
"Come for me, baby. Come on my face."
"Fuck! Oh god. Bucky!" You screamed as you came on his face. You felt him smile as he licked up all your juices.
When he was done, "That's it, doll. Good girl. Come here." He got on top of you and kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and it was making you even more horny.
He was kissing your face and lips. "I want to ride you properly now, Bucky."
"God yes, whatever the lady wants." He moved off of you and lied on his back, and you crawled on top of him.
You kissed his chest and his stomach, then you looked into his eyes as you were moving down on him. You were rubbing his cock between your folds. His hands were on your hips, squeezing and digging his nails in.
"Baby, please." You heard him whisper.
"Please, what, Buck?"
"Please, stop teasing me. I need you, now." He was looking at you, and his pupils were so dilated, you could barely see his beautiful blue eyes.
You lined his cock up with your entrance and sank on him, both of you moaning when he was fully inside of you.
"Jesus Christ, doll. You're so tight. And warm."
You put your hands on his chest and started moving up and down on him, slowly at first. He was squeezing your thighs and hips, helping you move.
"Shit! Oh, fuck!" You were bouncing on him now, and he was thrusting up to meet your hips. He was gripping your hips tightly. You started to bounce up and down, and your hands were on his chest. "You feel so good, Buck. You're stretching me out so well."
"Yeah? You're riding me like a champ, baby." He was breathing hard and grunting every time he was slamming into you.
"Ahh, Bucky, yes!" You were biting your lips and throwing your head back, and Bucky was thrusting up.
"Mmm, you like that, sweetheart?"
"Yes! Harder!" You closed your eyes, he felt so good inside you.
"Look at me, baby. Look at me, while I'm fucking you."
You opened your eyes and you were bouncing faster, and he was thrusting his hips faster, too. He was hitting your g-spot and you were getting closer to your orgasm. You were squeezing his biceps. "I've been waiting to fuck you properly since our last time. Couldn't wait to make you scream my name, doll."
"Then do it, make me scream, Buck"
"I will, doll. I promise." You were slamming into each other now, both of you close. You felt his finger touching your clit. "Ahh, you look so pretty when you're riding me, doll. Look at you. So fucking perfect. You're gonna make me cum."
He was looking at you with lust in his eyes. You grabbed his metal arm and sucked on his fingers. You started to suck harder, and you moaned.
He started thrusting harder and faster, the bed was hitting the wall. His hand went to your clit and he started rubbing fast. His other hand kneaded your breasts. You moved even faster and you were getting close, "Buck, you're so good. I'm close."
"I know, I can feel it. You’re doing so good for me, doll. Fuck, doll. Can I come inside you? Please?"
"Yes! Yes, please, come inside me, Buck."
You were screaming his name and digging your nails to his chest. His hand left your breast and was gripping your hips hard. You knew it was going to leave bruises. You were bouncing faster and your orgasm hit you like a truck.
"Oh god, Bucky!" You screamed his name and collapsed on his chest.
"I'm gonna fill your tight pussy up, baby."
"Please, Buck, please."
"FUCK! Y/N! Take it all, baby. Take it." He was filling you up, and you could feel him twitching inside of you.
"Yes! That's it. Fill me up, Buck."
"Jesus." You were both panting and trying to catch your breath. You were resting your head on his chest, and you could hear his heartbeat. He then flipped you over, so you were under him. You felt him that he was still hard, and he was looking at you with a grin. "Can you handle another round, doll? Or are you too tired?"
You smirked and raised your eyebrow. "Are you challenging me, Barnes?"
"Maybe."
"Let's see how long you can keep up, sergeant."
"I can do this all night, doll. How about you?"
"Oh, I'm just getting started."
"Good, 'cause I'm not finished with you yet." He smirked and moved over you.
"You're in for a wild ride, Barnes."
"Bring it on, doll." He pulled your legs and you were in a mating press position, with him towering over you.
"Show me what you've got, soldier."
"Oh, I'll show you." He pulled your legs and you were in a mating press position. He was teasing you with his tip and you were moaning loudly. You were already so sensitive, you were ready to cum again.
"Tell me you want it."
"Yes. I want it! I want you, Bucky."
"Beg me, doll."
"Please. I beg you, please fuck me."
"Who owns you?"
"You do. Only you!"
"Good girl." With that, he entered inside you in a swift motion and buried himself to the hilt and you screamed. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, and make you forget everything."
He was holding your legs and spreading them more. You were a moaning mess underneath him. He pounded into you so hard, and you were gripping the sheets. Your orgasm was approaching and he was holding your hips hard. You were sure he was going to leave a mark.
"You're not gonna walk after I'm done with you." He was thrusting faster and harder. You were a mess, you were sweating and panting. He was rubbing your clit and pumping into you. He was kissing your neck and you were screaming his name.
Then, he was thrusting fast and rough, and kissing your face. He was nipping your neck and biting. You were leaving marks on his back, and he was gripping your hips.
The way he thrusts his hips, it was like he was a fucking machine. He was a man of his word, and you weren't going to walk tomorrow. He was grunting and groaning and kissing your neck.
He was now pounding so hard into you, and your breasts were bouncing. "You love when I fuck you, don't you?"
"Yes, Bucky. Yes, I do. You're stretching me out so good, Bucky. Don't stop."
"Oh, I'll fuck you until the morning, baby." He was now fucking into your g-spot and his vibranium hand was rubbing your clit.
"Fuck! Bucky, I'm gonna come again!"
"Cum for me, doll. Be a good girl."
"Fuck, Bucky." He gave few more thrusts, and you were seeing stars. You were coming hard and screaming his name.
You were both panting, and Bucky was trying to catch his breath. "Holy shit, doll."
"Yeah, that was amazing."
He lifted his head, and looked at you. "Was? I'm not done, yet."
"What?! Bucky, we can't do it anymore. I already came three times. I can't go again."
"Awww, is my little kitten too sensitive, huh?" He teased you as he lightly slapped your pussy making you yelp.
"Stop it." You said, still sensitive, “Please…”
"Well, we're just getting started. I meant when I said I'm going to fuck you until the sun rises." He flipped you over and he was kissing your back. "Your body is so perfect, baby."
His hands were rubbing and squeezing your ass cheeks. "I want to take you from behind, baby. Can I do that? I want to see that pretty little ass.”
"Mmmmm, fine."
He slapped your ass and you moaned. "Such a good little kitten." He slapped your ass a couple more times, and you moaned. "Now, I'm gonna make you purr like a kitten."
He grabbed a handful of your ass and spread your cheeks. He was teasing you with his tip, and you were pushing your ass against him. "Such a horny kitten, you are." He slowly pushed his cock into you, and you were moaning. He grabbed your hips and started to thrust. He was fucking you slow and deep. But then, he was moving his hips faster.
You were lying on your stomach, and Bucky was pounding into you hard and fast. You were screaming his name. "You're all mine, baby."
He gripped your hair yanking you into pulling you into a kiss. You opened your mouth and his tongue slid in. He explored every inch of your mouth. Your tongues wrestled for dominance, and he won.
"That's it, doll." He was fucking you so hard, he was slapping your ass, and was holding your hips. His dick was hitting all the right spots. You were a moaning mess, you couldn't form words. He was fucking you hard and fast.
The slapping noises were getting louder and the bed was squeaking. His hands started to pinch your nipples making you scream his name, the pleasure was too intense. "I'm close, baby. Let's cum together."
He then continued pounding and you could feel his dick twitch inside. He was grunting and panting. “FUCK, Y/N!” He then came, filling you up. His cum was dripping out of your pussy. He was still inside you, riding out his high.
He pulled out of you but then you noticed he was still hard. "Buck, how are you hard again?!"
He chuckled, "You're the one who made me like this."
You were mesmerized by his stamina but also scared at the same time. He got in between your legs and kissed you passionately. He was kissing down your body and leaving a trail of wet kisses.
“Fuck… Ah… Bucky I can’t… Not anymore.” You were so sensitive and spent, you have came so many times.
"Your moans say otherwise, doll." He grinned as he took his cock and lined it to your entrance and entered you without warning once again. You screamed and gripped his biceps.
He was thrusting his hips faster and hitting your g-spot. You were both moaning loudly, and saying each other's names.  "You're taking me so well, sweetheart." You were a sweaty mess and Bucky was gripping your hips.
He was pounding into you and he was so big, it felt like you were being ripped apart. But, you loved the pain. You were scratching his back and leaving marks. You were both leaving bruises on each other's body.
"Fuck, Bucky. Ah, yes!"  He was pounding into you and you were moaning loudly.
"That's it, doll. Moan for me."
He was thrusting deeper and harder. Your hands were roaming around his body. You were touching and squeezing every part of him. You cried out as he increased his speed. "Fuck Bucky i can't..." you couldn't come anymore, you were overstimulated.
"Yes you can doll, I know you can." He rubbed your clit faster with now his teeth bit your nipple, “Fucking give it to me, doll.”
You cried out and came all over his cock. "That's my good little kitten." He praised.
But he wasn't done with you yet. You felt so much pleasure and pain, but it felt so good. Bucky thrusted faster and harder, his thrusts were deep. He slammed into you and started thrusting even faster and deeper.
"Shit. Bucky, ahh..." You gasped when his hand found your neck and he squeezed. His grip tightened and he began pounding you harder. You were moaning his name over and over again. You could feel every inch of his thick, long dick, and it was filling you so good.
He then leaned down and was fucking you deep. His metal arm was wrapped around your waist and the other one was choking you. He was sucking and licking your breasts. You were moaning uncontrollably. "Fuck, I'm so close. Let's come together, come to me one more time."
"I can't, Bucky! It's too much." You whimpered. “Please, no more.” You were begging him, you couldn’t take it anymore.
“You can do it doll. Show me what a good girl you are.” He pounded to you faster, his thrusts becoming erratic as he pistoning you in and out.
You were a sweating mess and you couldn't form a coherent sentence. "Holy shit, oh my god, ahhh, fffuck, ahh, ah, mhh, ohh, shit."
You gripped the sheets and screamed his name and you were shaking uncontrollably. Your vision went white and your ears rang. You felt your body go limp. You couldn't move. Your body was overstimulated and tired.
Bucky continued thrusting and you felt him twitch inside you. You both cried out each other's names as you came together. Bucky got off you and laid next to you, pulling you close to him.
You felt so sleepy afterwards, you were spent. He then cleaned you both up before he snuggled with you. "How are you feeling, baby?" He asked.
"Like I can't feel my legs."
He kissed the top of your head and laughed. "Sorry about that, doll."
You chuckled. "Don't apologize. That was the best sex I've ever had."
He held you close and kissed you deeply. You ran your fingers through his hair and he cupped your cheek. As you laid there with him, “I’m sorry Bucky for what I did to you back then on the gym, I took advantage of you… I-“
Bucky stopped you with kissing you. “I know doll, you don’t have to apologize. Like you said, we both hurt each other. Let’s not from now on okay? I promise I’ll be the best version of myself and no more hiding from you.”
You smiled at him, “I would like that.”
Bucky then kissed your forehead, “I love you, Y/N.”
You couldn’t believe your ears, he said it again, “I freaking love you. I've fallen for you ever since the day you helped me out at the hospital and you didn't judge me, you treated me with nothing but respect when I treated you horribly. You have a heart of gold and I'm just glad I was able to finally tell you my feelings. I'm sorry for the way I treated you before, I was just scared to let you in but now I want you in my life, you make me feel safe and loved."
He cupped your cheeks, "Please stay with me. Don't let go of me. I'm begging you to be mine, just mine. Only mine. And I will give my whole life for you, just to be with you, to make up for the time we lost. You are all that I want and all that I need. You are the one for me. If I can't be with you, I don't want to be with anyone else. Please let me take care of you and treat you like the angel you are."
He leaned down and pressed his lips on yours as he whispered, "Be mine and no one else's. Please..."
You felt tears in your eyes, this time it was tears of happiness. "Yes...yes Bucky...I'll be yours. I'm all yours." You went to kissed him but soon the kiss deepened. You moved on top of him as he squeezed your ass and you grinded against him.
Bucky broke the kiss and groaned, "Doll, we have to stop." He put his hands on your waist, trying to slow your movements. Bucky bit his bottom lip. "Or I’m going to get blue balls for the rest of the night."
Your eyes went to his cock seeing it starting to get hard once more. You chuckled and got off him. Bucky laid on his side as you snuggled next to him, "You're right."
Bucky kissed the top of your head, "Thank you, doll. Thank you for loving me. For being my girl and only mine."
"You are welcome, and thank you, for making me yours." You snuggled close to him.
He pulled you closer and caressed your cheeks, "You are perfect, just perfect."
He pulled the sheets over you, so you didn't get cold. You yawned and closed your eyes as you held Bucky's hand and drifted off to sleep. "Sleep well, baby."
You smiled, “Good night, Bucky.”
You were happy, and he was happy. This was all you ever wanted, and it seemed like everything was going well.
But, you still have a problem, a big one. Your friends and the Avengers. They would definitely freak out.
—— FIN ——
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Thank you immensely for supporting this series! Your encouragement means a lot. Although I might not be very active here, your comments always bring a smile to my face. I hope you'll stick around for my upcoming projects!
Would love to hear your thoughts on the hyperlinks. Did you like them? Should I continue adding them in future projects? Let me know!
Special thanks for you guys! Thank you for all the love! Sorry if I can't reply to all of you, your comments truly made my day.
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olderthannetfic · 21 days
Note
One time I managed this weird ass feat of bullshittery.
Friend asked me why so many Europeans dislike France. They were convinced that there was this deep seated animosity between anyone French vs not-French, but they didn't get why.
Well, anyway, I told them -Of course people in Europe don't like France. That country doesn't even exist, and people keep talking about it like it does. We constantly have to explain it when tourists come to Europe expecting "France."
Long story short, and a few little joking lies about how maps with France only exist because someone sent the wrong maps to print, and we've not been able to fix it. I even found a few maps with no France, -thanks people with interesting hobbies.
Anyway, I found a random French person on tumblr, and I thought I should just shoot my shot. I asked in anon if they'd confirm that France doesn't exist as a joke I'm playing on a friend.
Mad lad actually did it. They made a few posts about it, some of the maps, and all around it seems they had a lot of fun. Especially when they explained that French was just two random languages tacked together to "sell the idea of France.", and that's why the written and spoken word is so different. AND THEY GOT THEIR FRENCH MUTUALS TO JOIN! lol So we had like a few French people just posting about France not existing, just for a silly practical joke.
My friend was convinced for about a week that France didn't exist.
Btw my friend knows France exists (now), they took it in good humor when I revealed the maybe a bit too elaborate joke. This was the kind of joke that was right up their alley as well.
Thanks to the French people who joined in on that joke if you ever see this. It was fucking great.
--
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Note
Hi, I really love your writing. It’s actually incredible how you can write people of the same pronoun and still make it easy to discern the two characters. I was wondering if you have any tips on how to do that without using phrases like “the short one” or anything like that.
1. Use the character's names
I often use 'the protagonist ', 'the antagonist', 'the hero', 'the villain' on tumblr. However, functionally, I use these like names and/or titles.
Using a character name allows you to periodically clarify who is talking or doing something when the reader would otherwise get confused. I know some people take this a step further by actually using 'Hero' 'Villain' as names more literally/directly, but I don't personally like doing that. It jars my brain.
I think 'the hero' etc works as an indicator where 'the short one' doesn't because it's neutral/not providing new info. Traditionally, we often only use physical descriptors when we don't know who a character is, so it creates distance/can jar when used in the middle of a scene. If you are in first person or limited third, there's just not necessarily a reason why your narrator would think of the other character in that way, which is another reason it can feel odd.
Basically, it's a bit like how we don't notice 'said', but would really notice if someone was uttering/shouting/mumbling in every dialogue tag.
2. Use proper paragraphing.
New character doing something, new line. New person talking, new line. New idea/point, new line. Shift in time or setting, new line.
3. Don't be afraid of easy beats
What are easy beats, you say? They are the moments of action or thinking in between dialogue. Body language. Whatever. Even if you don't use 'he/they/she said', because that can get repetitive. They are a way of providing context and variety to your writing, that can often do double work making it clear who is doing or saying something.
Example:
''So this is dialogue," they said.
"Right."
"And you didn't need to say you were talking next, because it was obviously someone else because it was on the next line. And now it's obviously me again. Hi!"
"All well and good until we've been chatting like this forever."
"Well." They stretched out, lazily. "That's what the easy beat that just happened was for. Did you catch me stretching in the middle?"
"But now I'd need a name or some kind of indicator," Character B replied. "Or it feels odd. Too many theys"
"It's all about balance, my friend. The instinct comes with practice."
Character B wrinkled their nose. "But what if I want to talk for a really long time?"
"Well," they said. "Then you can often start with a pronoun use or a character name to establish. Then you make your next point. Try and keep it relatively easy to follow. After that, try to have some kind of easy beat or action happen so the whole thing isn't talking heads." Character A rose towering to their feet, waggling their fingers in another hello. "And, if we're lucky, we never need to say 'the short one said' again, because we can flow our descriptions more naturally into the action.' Now." They sauntered closer, stopping in front of Character A with the worst smirk that B had ever seen. "Shall we ask the audience which of us is taller?"
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verycharismaticdragon · 6 months
Text
Okay, I promised a writeup of Luo Binghe voter fraud meme, and as Luo Binghe is currently in the finals of the poll this happened on, I figure now's a good time.
So! It all started when Luo Binghe, our beloved half-demon child, was submitted to @/hybrid-battle tournament - or rather, as it was called at the time, @half-being-battle. He won his first poll easily enough, but round 2 was a close battle where he and his opponent, Shantae from eponymous game, took the lead from one another a few times.
In the last ~12 hours, Binghe was losing slightly after a popular blog rb'd the poll with a call to vote for Shantae. However, SVSSS fandom caught this in time and passed the poll around some more. The poll ended with Luo Binghe winning with 51% of votes - or, as simple calculation will reveal, 14 votes lead.
We breathed out a collective sigh of relief, but too soon - as half a day later, someone sent this ask:
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(x)
Initially the pollrunner wasn't intending to do anything about it, but then someone suggested a teamup option, and the poll for the option was made (x). It was rb'd by some SVSSS fans with the general sentiment of 'free our boy he did nothing wrong', but didn't gain real traction until:
@gaywarcriminals reblogged it with a small rant in Binghe's defense
@piosplayhouse rb'd said rant with addition of the image from vol.3 cover, of Shen Qingqiu holding Luo Binghe's hand, edited to look like SQQ is the one saying the text above.
This version of the post was circulated in fandom overnight, leading to 'Luo Binghe moves on alone' option winning by a large margin - and, ofc, to the birth of "Luo Binghe voter fraud" meme.
Though aside from this particular post being funny, there was another factor contributing to the meme catching on: how damn in-character it all was. The following sentiments were all repeated more than once in the post's notes:
Luo Binghe getting accused of crimes he didn't commit? Omg just like in canon!
Shen Yuan would absolutely buy bots to get his most beloved blorbo to win an internet poll.
It's just Luo Binghe's protagonist halo!
All of which made the situation fucking hilarious.
Then, the next day, tumblr user verycharismaticdragon (whoever they might be 😉) made some fanart about it, which possibly aided the spread of the meme too.
Also, SVSSS fandom surprised the mod with our chillness 😅
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(x)
Since then, Binghe has been going strong in that poll - and now, he's in the finals! So make sure to vote for him; as we all know now, the real voter fraud is the friends we made along the way. And I do recommend checking Luo Binghe's tag on the poll for some fun propaganda we've been making, including a family tree by Pio and some more art by yours truly <3
But wait! There was also another layer to the voter fraud iceberg. The tl;dr:
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At about the same time Luo Binghe vs Shantae ended, Hua Cheng was losing in round 1 of @/the-ghost-bracket, with something like 39% of votes to his name. In a desperate move, I linked his poll under my bingqiu voter fraud art, which gave him a boost to get close to a tie, but didnt flip the poll. The next day, I was explaining the LBH voter fraud meme to my friends, and mentioned Hua Cheng's poll too - which was when inspiration struck me, resulting in...
this post. [ID: art of Xie Lian with a wooden board which reads "Puqi shrine accepting donations in the form of votes for Hua Cheng in the ghost bracket", captioned "please help dianxia, he doesn't have the money for voter fraud"] Which gave the poll enough visibility for Hua Cheng to win with over 62% of votes in the end. (The link in the post is currently changed to round 2 poll, which HC was also initially losing. Srsly besties we gotta follow the tourneys to get our babygirls to win!)
So: LBH voter fraud meme had even helped little bro Huahua out.
And thats about it! Since then, the scum villain fandom has been joking about voter fraud on all of our polls 😂
(Aaaand the last reminder to vote Bingbing in the finals. His opponent has been gaining lately and I think we shouldn't leave it to the protagonist halo this time.)
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03/07/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; David Jenkins; Samba Schutte; Dominic Burgess; Lindsey Cantrell; Rhys Darby; Fan Spotlight; Never Left Podcast; Cast Cards; AdoptOurCrew; SaveOFMD Crew; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;
I figure we could all use some normalcy tonight so I'm going to treat tonight like every other night and bring some news in-- Love Notes are where to go for commentary/love tonight lovelies.
== David Jenkins ==
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All the photos from his Instagram Post Are listed here on Tumblr
Instagram Source
== Samba Schutte ==
Good news! Samba ISNT GONNA STOP POSTING BTS!
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Samba BTS Videos
OFMD 2 Set Shoutout #2 Video Part 1
OFMD 2 Set Shoutout #2 Video Part 2
OFMD 2 Set Shoutout #2 Video Part 3
OFMD 2 Set Shoutout #2 Video Part 4
OFMD 2 Set Shoutout #2 Video Part 5
Rhys Wink Video - @kiwistede ty
#Crew4Life video
== Dominic Burgess ==
Being the upstanding gentleman that he is, Dominic is still out here supporting us.
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== Lindsey Cantrell ==
Getting love from Lindsey regarding our loss. Ty so much hon.
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== Rhys Darby ==
Look whose cameo is back 👀
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== Fan Spotlight ==
== Never Left Podcast ==
The Never Left Podcast has decided to throw hands and I fucking love it. Balls for days. Never Left Podcast - A Message for David Zaslav and Casey Bloys
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Art by: AmysBirdHouse
= Cast Cards =
Even with the bad news, our lovely @melvisik is still at it! More cast members to collect! Love it!
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== Watch Party Reminders ==
March 8th - Next Goal Wins!
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When:  8 pm GMT / 3 pm EST / 12 pm PST
Thank you @lamentus1 for the info! Now available to buy in the UK: £11.99 @ Apple (https://tinyurl.com/mr3p6bvm) and £9.99 or £11.99 @ Amazon https://tinyurl.com/2fwdmezz. 
(US fans can watch on Hulu, and Disney Plus)
Watch Party Hashtags:
#SaveOFMD
#OurFlagWins
Mar 4 - Mar 8: Wrecked Season 1
Don't have access? DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr
Season 1 watch from March 4th to March 8th. 
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Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. 
Saturday there will be a re-watch for those who need to catch up (time TBD) .
Hashtags: 
#WreckedPirates
#SaveOFMD
#RhysDarbyFaction
== Adopt Our Crew ==
A message from our dear friends at @adoptourcrew
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== Save OFMD Crew ==
Our good friends over at @saveofmdcrewmates also had a message for us.
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== Love Notes ==
Hey there lovelies. Boy. What a day it's been, huh?
Never thought the clowning/honking would stop. I have to say, I'm glad at least that David saw all our commentary about "if he thought there was no hope he'd say something" and did in fact say something.
It's a bit of a hard pill to swallow, I know. We're all going through the various stages of grief right now. Some of us are already progressing on at a quick rate, others are still at the beginning.
I know I've said some of this across the platforms so I apologize if you've heard it already, but I think it's important to hear.
YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY COULD.
Whether it was only signing the petition, or tweeting every day for a week, or just supporting your crewmates. Every little bit to every large bit you did--
You did EVERYTHING you could.
None of this is your fault. None of this is David or the Cast's fault, and certainly none of it is the fans fault. You did everything you could, and even if it feels like it it was all for nothing, it meant so very very much.
Every Cast and Crew member got to see how much they meant to you. Smaller cast members like our friends Wendy Anderson, and Damien Gerard, and Dominic Burgess have all gotten to feel so much love from us. They've come in and participated with us in our various fuckeries, and we've gotten to know them better because of it!
Every single streaming service we targeted got to see just how much queer media means to us. So many new fans got to join us on this journey because we were loud, polite menaces, and we made a safe space for them to join us. Not just streaming services and new fans, but products, and groups too! Fucking Astroglide did watch parties with us, squishables got involved! Q+ and Pink News!
News Media ALL OVER THE DAMN PLANET looked at us and commiserated and shared their distaste for our loss.
ALL OF THAT MATTERS.
If ONE streaming service picks up a true queer show (not just queer bait) because they saw our engagement, it was worth every single tear lost.
If ONE queer kid, years from now, gets a show where they feel represented because we fought for our silly little pirate show, it was worth EVERY SINGLE EFFORT.
IF ONE of your crew-mates felt included and decided to stick around on this planet a little longer because of it, IT WAS WORTH IT.
IT MATTERS.
It already matters so much, to all of us. I get to spend every day, feeling hope in humanity because of this fandom. Every single day I come online and I see just how creative, and kind, and accepting you all are, and it gives me so much hope for the future. I feel loved again, for me, not who I pretend to be in my day to day life.
We raised money for SO MANY charities. We made LITERAL differences in people's lives. People we don't know, and who don't know us. Do you know how incredibly powerful that is?
Do you know just how much those tiny ripples cascade over this entire earth? Kindness is one of the most powerful driving forces in this world. It is not quantifiable in any way, and yet it makes such an impact.
We have some of the most amazingly talented, and resourceful, and brilliant people on the planet in this crew. That's all of you. You are absolute treasures, every single one of you.
And you know what? You didn't fucking deserve this.
You deserved your show back. You fought hard for it, and you are allowed to be angry about it. You are allowed to cry, or scream, or lie on the floor and not get up for a while. You are allowed to grieve.
Some of you haven't got there yet. Some of you are still fighting the good fight, or trying to support others, and just know lovelies, we will all be there when you struggle too.
I've said it before, but grief isn't linear, it comes in waves, and no matter how each of us proceeds tomorrow, it's going to continue to take time to heal from.
Whatever YOU NEED to cope, do it.
Do you wanna "Fuck it we ball" and keep fighting? Fucking do it.
Do you wanna go cry in a corner and take a week off? Fucking do it.
Do you wanna go hug a fellow crew-mate and tell them a goofy ass joke so they laugh? Fucking do it.
Do you wanna go read fanfiction til you pass out? Make sure to drink some water, but go fucking do it.
Do you wanna draw, or sing, or write something that gets some of this awful energy out? Well? You guessed it--Go fucking do it.
BUT a gentle reminder lovelies:
Don't go hurt anyone, they don't deserve it.
Don't hurt yourself, YOU don't deserve it.
We've got discords, and tumblr, and twitter, and dm's galore. If you need support, reach out. I know so many of your crew are reaching out to each other to send love and support, and dole out all the hugs.
Lean on each other.
We are in this together.
We still have each other, and we will continue to.
This is not the end for OFMD. Whether it gets renewed in 10 years, or gets a movie, or graphic novels, or some other medium. This is not the end. It's certainly not the end of any of the cast & crew's careers. We will have so much to support them in going forward.
This fandom, these friends, don't end with this.
Keep making your fanfiction-- write and draw your own s3! Share it! Take this wonderful piece of queer art and joy that means so much to us and keep extending its infinite universes. Write meta and discuss and laugh and cry about it. We have lost the potential for s3, but we haven't lost what we already have, which is a glorious piece of media.
We have the cast & crew who continue to support and send love, and share our artwork and stories.
We have each other.
Now I'm gonna go mama bear on you and ask you to consider some things:
Have you had any water lately? Have you had anything to eat? Have you slept? Have you gone to the bathroom lately? Have you been outside, even for a moment?
Then finally, going with one last thing. This song helped me a lot today. Maybe it'll give you some love today too.
Just Begun by WILD
Not your vibe? Are you angry? @celluloidbroomcloset reminded me of this gem today:
This isn't the end crew.
This fandom is our home. We've just begun.
== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==
I realize the vibe might be off for these gifs but you deserve dopamine inducing gifs, you can fight me about it later.
Rhys gif: @ofmd-ann / Taika Gif: @dallonismysavior
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halfagone · 7 months
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The Power of DPxDC
There has been a lot of anti-DPxDC sentiment going around lately; if you haven't heard about it, then don't worry about it. This isn't a post about the negativity, this is a post celebrating how much we've done as a crossover fandom!
Just as a bit of perspective, I've been reading fics from DPxDC since 2020. Now that might not seem like a long time ago, but back then we didn't even have 100 fics for the crossover as a whole, and look at us now! This is a screenshot from Ao3 just today:
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Incredible, isn't it? Look how much we've grown and contributed and shared! And that's not even mentioning all the wonderful Tumblr prompts and posts and incredible fanart. DPxDC has us in a chokehold and it isn't about to let go any time soon.
I know it can be a little disheartening to see all the people trying to drag us down. I know I've been left disappointed in some cases, but I also know that my love for the crossover hasn't abated at all, and I hope it stays that way with you all too!
There is so much engagement in this crossover, I cannot tell you enough how much you all have spoiled me with comments and kudos and fanart. A lot of my fandom friends like to tease me for writing so much, but I don't think I could have written half of those fics had it not been for people like you loving them as much as you do.
Passion is the lifeblood of this fandom, of every fandom! And I don't see that going away any time soon for DPxDC.
I know I want to comment and kudos more. I read a lot of fics, but I don't sign in often so that you can see me leaving that kudos, and it's been more and more apparent to me how many people don't realize how much I adore their writing. I'm hoping to fix that!
Some might say that we don't tag our work appropriately, and while that might be true in some cases, I cannot stress enough just how good of a job we're doing. @tourettesdog made a wonderful post not too long ago about tagging, and we do clean work! Not even a full 3% of all the tags they'd seen included a "main" tag, which has been the frustration for most. 3%? That's incredible!
You all deserve some appreciation for the hard work y'all do, and this is it! I hope you all know how well you've fed creators, readers, and fans like me! Don't let up, because we do amazing work. And that deserves to be celebrated.
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alcorian · 30 days
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So, I just want to say something real quick about Wilbur Soot and the expectation fans have of all his friends to come out and immediately make statements and drop him. I particularly want to talk about Tommy because i see parallels between his relationship with Wilbur and my relationship with an adult who made me feel responsible for his wellbeing. I am not saying that their relationship is like this, just that based on what we've seen it could be, and we should be prepared to be empathetic and understanding to Tommy in case it is like this.
So some background. Starting at 13 or 14, I had a friend in his thirties who made me feel responsible for his mental health. I won't go into great detail, but I was constantly reassuring him and trying to keep him from killing himself, which was something he gave me multiple scares about. He would disappear and not respond to messages for days or weeks after posting suicide notes on his tumblr... but he was fine every time, just stepping away. Still, it scared me every time, and I felt like I hadn't been doing a good enough job helping him be happy.
I was friends with him from 13 to 16 and I felt responsible not just for his happiness, but his life.
It was so difficult to end that friendship that it took him blocking me multiple times before i could accept that he wasn't my responsibility anymore.
I defended him, let him get away with shit, let him have way more power over my life and beliefs and relationships than he should have. Because i was so toxically attached to him and believed what he told me, I seriously hurt my best friend in the whole world and I will never be able to fully express how sorry I am for it.
I'm saying this because there is evidence that Wilbur and Tommy's relationship contains similar dynamics. Wilbur has said that he relies on Tommy for his mental health. They met when Tommy was, what, 15? That's not healthy. Wilbur is an adult. I've also heard that Tommy has had to talk Wilbur down from suicide. This is extremely similar to what I experienced, and as much as it discomforts me to be seriously speculating about two ccs' relationship off-camera, I can't help but see the strong similarities to my story.
And Shelby's story corroborates this kind of behavior from Wilbur. She also was made to feel like Wilbur relied on her. For Shelby it was about his living situation--she felt like he needed her to take care of him, like he was too traumatized or depressed to take care of his own house and affairs, and if she stopped doing it it just wouldn't get done. And because she is a kind person, she didn't want to leave him like that.
This kind of behavior traps the victim in a relationship with the abuser by making them feel guilty if they try to leave or even distance themselves. It makes the victim feel like they cant hurt or go against the abuser in any way, for fear of blood on their hands, literal or metaphorical. It drives you to defend them, to try to stay by their side even as they prove themselves a terrible person.
So if Tommy isn't immediate and decisive in dropping Wilbur, I think we should be understanding. In these sorts of manipulative relationships, its really hard to speak badly of the abuser, and its hard to accept when others say they're abusive. That's an aspect of the abuse.
It took me until I was 13 to even be consciously aware of my mom doing this to me, and I only became aware of that "friend" doing it when I hadn't spoken to him in years.
This is the sort of thing that is VERY difficult to process and navigate and I think we should give Tommy, and other people close to Wilbur, some grace in navigating it. They should still drop him, but I think we should let them take some time because dropping an abuser who acts like this is very difficult, and they make it so on purpose.
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