#well. at least i know how to draw crowned magolor now

[spheredotorb]

Guest Star Traitor Magolor: Get Overtaken by Master Crown ♡

ok it was funnier in my head ngl

[desultory-novice]

Bonus Talk: Storycrafting for Noir and Apologies

So, I keep thinking how funny it is how this whole thing started. I had a chain of ideas at dinner one night: "What if the Master Crown really WAS trying to transform Magolor into Dark Matter? Would he be 'Dark Matter Wizard?' But then, what was Swordsman before he was Swordsman? Hmm. There is that one piece of human concept art he has... and you know...maybe it's the retro anime look or the fact that this series doesn't have hardly any humans in it but he looks just enough like Adeleine that one could think they're related-..."

Back then, "Noir" didn't really exist. I just drew up a quick sketch in Adeleine's notebook that I hope looked recognizably like the human DM concept art. He wasn't in color but given Dark Matter's palette, he probably would have had dark hair, and poring through the wiki - I found at least one Dark Matter incarnation with a purple eye. I also had Ado drop a line that her brother was "bad at making friends" because of that one JP guide and that was IT.

But then... I thought it was sad to draw this poor guy only to kill him off in the backstory without even fleshing out what he looked like (and I was afraid Adeleine's pencil sketch made him look blond XD) so I drew up a quick color pic of him, rendering Swordsman's gear as a normal scarf and coat. Before thecrashman said anything, I hadn't even considered the two of them as living on Shiver Star!

As soon as he said that though, everything started to come together...Now DMS was an overprotective brother taking care of his little sister in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Of course he was. No wonder he couldn't bond with anyone. He was straining under the weight of his responsibilities. He's older. He's supposed to be the protector, so he could never bring himself to tell his kid sister about the things he was going through. He focused on her joy to his own exclusion. A destructive pattern. A fatal flaw for this tragedy.

Twitter readers asked after the first comic how Adeleine's brother even became Dark Matter Swordsman, some suggesting perhaps it was because he died in battle against Zero? I thought a big human-led global effort against Zero and Dark Matter seemed too complicated in scope, so my solution was to go back to where this idea started: he would be the same as Magolor - looped in by a bad ancient artifact that parasitized him before he knew what was happening. Only he doesn't have a Kirby to save him...

At this point, I had to give him a name. I wanted something French-sounding, so he sounded good alongside Adeleine, and remembering the origin of Adeleine's name, I thought to choose something in FL-ese. I combed the lyrics of "Welcome to the New World" back and forth in both English and Japanese. (I was lucky as the song is sung as a one-to-one Japanese audio cypher and I speak Japanese.)

It wasn't easy though. I wanted a "strong" word but almost everything in there was about food or naps. XD I finally found a phrase in the Japanese lyrics, "邪魔できない"/"unable to be interrupted"/"unstoppable" and matched it to FL-ese.

Noruruwa. Sounds kinda like "Noir." And with Dark Matter being "Matiere Noire" in French, well, it seemed all too perfect...!

The rest all flowed pretty naturally from there. If our setting is Shiver Star and Shiver Star exists at the same time as the New World, and it resembles our Earth's globe while the New World doesn't, perhaps Shiver is an "abandoned earth"? One with an angry, betrayed populace and two kids doomed by birth to die a cold, miserable death in a place utterly neglected by the rest of humanity.

Now "Noir" had a good reason to seek out the power that would be his undoing. While I'm at it, why not tell the story of how Adeleine gets her brush? That's magical(?) too. It's no Drawcia's Paintbrush, but neither is Dark Matter Blade equal to Galaxia. So now, we've got the idea for "off-brand artifacts" - found in an abandoned exhibit, perhaps? Maybe Noir wants to get Adeleine a present? He grabs the sword on the way out without even thinking because...it's a dangerous world out and he's got a young sibling to look after.

(Although, similar to the Master Crown, it's hard to say whether it was originally entirely his choice to pick it up...or the sword's.)

But wait, why do the artifacts do the bad things they do? Now that I'd introduced the New World into this story, I had Fecto Elfilis/ID-F86 on the table. The concept that the Shiver Starians were sooo angry at the New Worlders when for all we knew, the New Worlders weren't even ALIVE anymore made me think, "Do we really expect powerful, angry psychic Elfilis was passive that entire time? While they were being tortured? What if...they sabotaged everything?"

I'd already speculated that Elfilis and Void are two of a pair, and you can trace their offshots throughout the entirety of Kirby lore. (If you buy into my Galactic Nova is based on Fecto Elfilis theory.) And seriously, at least half those artifacts have led to serious tragedy. Now, we had a reason for Noir to be doomed by the narrative.

I do HC that everyone who has ever had their soul consumed by an Ancient Artifact had some red in their ledger - and so, I conceived of some for Noir. I didn't and don't ever want to write/draw a "humans are a disease" story, which is why 99~100% of anything "bad" implied to be going on in their lives on Shiver Star is entirely background. That was purposeful for several reasons. One was simply to demonstrate the degrees to which Noir was protecting Adeleine. He would build up more stress and more pain and more trauma while she remains the same throughout. Two is I just didn't want to go into detail about what wretched scenario would force Noir to take another person's life, but it is still a part of his character history.

(I write Kirby fan comics after all! I try to stay within the bounds of what I consider acceptable content to show. Best I can ^^; )

Noir was also just pushed to the brink, despairing in his life and the world around him. He wanted more than anything to escape this life. Of course, Artifacts have this funny way of twisting your wishes in the WORST way. (Screams of joy > screams of pain.) So Noir's artifact transforms itself into a collar he can't remove, with an unspoken time limit to do anything his newfound power could do for him - at the end of which, his body and soul become forfeit to the darkness. Now he has lost all escape routes. Even death only delivers him to a fate of serving Zero, robbed of independent thought and choice and memories of the one bright thing in his life.

Adeleine...

Adeleine still needed to escape though. She has to get to Popstar. This was the most complicated part for me to logic out. In the end, I went with the simplest, quickest, and most brutal method of getting that done. Quietly imply that Noir, resigned to his fate, killed as many people as it took to secure Adeleine safe passage off the planet and then lied to her about everything with a gentle smile.

Perhaps it's because the Dark Matter Blade has affected his mind and dulled any emotional responses the normally gentle (if sharp-tongued) Noir would have to harming people (as again, artifacts tend to twist people in the worst possible ways; Noir is verbally abrasive but his nature is defensive. Now he has only violence to rely on to get his wish) but I also think the look of calmness on his face throughout "Brightest Star", in spite of the blood on his hands, is because he's just honestly happy - relieved, for once in his life - to have at least saved Adeleine. He was already consigned to hell, doomed from a simple mistake born from the desire to do good; to protect. (*) But Adeleine doesn't have to carry either his mistakes or his sins.

His was a character who took everyone onto himself. And he succeeded at that. His and Adeleine's past and their traumas will be buried underneath the unending snowfall of Shiver Star...

...Adeleine departs and Noir dies, his human body dissolved into Dark Matter, rising up into the aether right as the first flakes of snow began their long task of erasing all that has happened...

-

Rest now, Noir...

...it's The Swordsman's turn.

-

-

-

-

(*) I consider Dark Matter Swordsman be in a very small group with Joronia and Max Haltmann as the only sympathetic characters to be permanently dead In Kirby canon. Which is another reason why I crafted Noir's story explicitly to resemble theirs. We had a pair of (potential) lovers whose story ends in tragedy and a father and daughter tragedy but no siblings whose story has ended tragically. By fanon, that's arguably Swordsman and Gooey, but that just made him more fit to be this story's tragic brother figure...

In which case, Noir basically HAD to be someone who had a simple wish (to keep his only family safe) ran afoul of an ancient artifact almost by accident in the midst of trying to do good and suffers an inevitable, horrifying physical and mental transformation that would end with his only option for salvation to be put out of his misery...

Curse you, Dream Land 2! :cries:

[Apologies AU]  “Apologies”  “One Sneeze”  “Summer”  “A Walk in the Snow”  “The Swordsman” “Wonderful Gift” "Damnation" "Salvation" "Unstoppable" "Brightest Star"

[Bonus Illust] “Ugly Scarf”  [Bonus Illust] "That's...Funny..." [Bonus Illust] "Full Regalia" (DMS "Gijinka") [Bonus Illust] "Was I A Good Brother?" [You Are Here] [Bonus Illust] "You Won't Win..." [Relevant] “Vestige” (script-only)

[Bonus Text] Noir Facts!

[Dark Matter Painter AU] "It wasn't supposed to go this way...!" "You're a good knight!" "The Body Remembers"

[fullmoonfireball]

OC Recap-thingy???

hecc i put this off for too long 

i dont really know what that anon meant when they requested this, but i hope this’ll do (readmore bc this is gonna be Long)

Crinoline Parisa

Ribbon’s mom

where’s her husband??? we just dont know

she’s doing her Best™ to be a good mom to Ribb

Lace Parisa

Mirror World!Ribbon

an edgy lil shit

very grumpy

why have i never posted a coloured pic of her

Shadeleine Walsh

Mirror World!Adeleine

Probably the OC I fiddle the most with.

She has a really strong Texan accent for some reason??? I don't know why I gave her it

Takes magic lessons from Wiz( that magician guy that no one seems to remember/care about?). As it turns out, their brand of magic is not anything she can pull off.

Works as their assistant sometimes... Even if it can be slightly terrifying because of their methods (their magic lets them make the tricks a bit more than just illusions). Shaddy has gotten cut in half (or more parts) more times than she cares to count.

Actually more interested in drama, but she's taken what she got.

She's good friends with Shadow Kirby! They hang out a lot!

Her name used to be Shado. And yes, that IS pronounced the way it looks like it is. She hated it.

Owns an oversized magenta sweater and wears it at ever chance she gets. Wiz hates it.

there wasn’t originally another character in this picture what are you talking about

Shadow Marx (left)

Mirror World!Marx (no duh)

Mild insomniac. He hates it.

Just wants to sleep, like any other noddy.

Dating Mirror Magolor

May or may not have kept him up with his late-night thoughts a few times.

Syzzle (right)

Mirror World!Gryll

Doesn't care about Star Stacker (or any similar game) in the slightest.

A complete NERD

Probably owns a library or something

Theatra (left)

Mirror World!Claycia

Complete drama queen

Which is good, because she's an actress.

Gay as hell for Shadow Elline

she’s supposed to have horns like Claycia, but I forgot them in this picture

Shadow Elline (right)

Mirror World!Elline (what a shock)

An inkbrush fairy-thing

Writes most (if not all) of Theatra's stuff

Gay as hell for Theatra

the ‘straight man’ of the duo, despite being neither straight nor a man

Mirror Magolor

Mirror World!Magolor (obviously)

An anxious little negg (nerd egg)

A cinnamon roll (unlike his counterpart)

Protect him

Knows nothing about where he came from

Dating Shadow Marx

Slightly annoyed by how much he keeps him up. But he stops rambling... eventually.

More info on him can be found here

Rose Symyva (left) and Violet Larivi (right)

They're married

Rose is pretty chill, Vi's a bit more eccentric.

Don't insult Violet unless you want to face Rose's wrath (which you don't).

I don't know much about them yet, they're mostly just designs.

Typhiste Nirymsu

DEAD (GOOD RIDDANCE)

He was An Ass

Dated Magolor at one point.

Used to be a prince (now he's just dead)

LEMME SMASH

Echo

Also dead, but less so.

Died from electrocution.

Doesn't remember anything about her life, which distresses her.

When she was alive her name was Iris

Updated version of one of my first Kirby OCs 

Niaviri Taysin

Also dead (for real this time)

A good little egg

Was a florist!

v gay with Odalania

Tislora Altryb 

Mags’ mom

v sweet egg

maiden name is ‘Azaress’

was closer to her son than Aparctias was

idk what else to say about her

Aparctias Altryb

Mags’ dad

firm, but kind

taught the egg most of what he knows about magic out of family tradition

also got him started on learning English

Hynwari (left) and Sanfyria (right) Rimaddim

only exist in the Popa AU

super dead, even in the AU 

both of them are Very Short (Sanfyria especially). they could make Meta Knight look like he’s average height

Popopo (the green half of Kirby)’s parents

she’s supposed to have speckles i just forgot them in the original pic

they were specifically targeted to be killed just so their son could be taken from them by Nightmare

Hazel Pesyphomia (left) and Amelia Evitheth-Pesyphomia (right)

MARRIED

Adopted a certain artist as their child.They love that noodle-orb a lot

Amy would absolutely fight you if you were to insult her wife or her kid.

Were honestly really scared the first time one off their kid's drawings came to life

Twila

You know her. She's the one with all of those scarfies.

Spoils those little beasts

Was actually supposed to be trained as a Spynum, not a Simirror, but was more interested in magic than archery.

Lives mostly-alone in the woods.

Amicia Tyopt

technically that’s not actually her in that picture but let’s look past that

as implied above, her body was stolen by sectonia (shown above)

idk anything about her personality yet tbh

Osgifu Amata 

handmaiden moth, in more ways than one

worked for Sectonia Way Back When

deceased

Eglantine Cujoi

Into™ gals

first body stolen by Sectonia

deceased in both body and mind

Kimiko

anime-verse oc

demon beast

just read this it’s got all you’ll need to know about her

Jordan (the one with the spear) and Coral (on top of Jordan)

BWD's siblings

Jordan is their older brother, Coral their younger sister.

He works as one of Dedede's guards. She's too young to work.

Jordan's a little jealous about Taylor (BWD) outranking him, but he's proud of them at the same time.Coral is a little ball of energy.

They were the other Waddle Dees in Dream Collection's intro, and the sleeping Dees with the eye implants next to Bandanna Dee in Robobot( in the modern train level I think?).

Odalania 

Dead

Really freaking good at magic

Lean Bean

Worked for Typhiste's family

Gay™ with Niaviri

also has a casual clothes ref

Magolor (not that one)

yes, every other time ‘Magolor’ has been mentioned I was referring to canon one. i call this one Old Magolor/Classic Magolor/etc. for simplicity

this is who canon mags named himself after

Old and Dead

one of the lor’s previous captains

lorlor

Cymboria Taysin

niaviri’s younger sister

she’s the bigger one

very sweet

good at magic

likes to travel 

often brings foreign flowers back to nia!

Morastrum Altryb/Nirymsu

doesnt exist in the mainverse

a Good Lil Girl

... even if her dads (mags and ty) are both Asses

last name depends on if Typhiste is alive or not

likes sweet foods

Myrdinia

mirror world!drawcia

an automaton made by wiz 

speech has a Low Quality Garble

incredibly bitter over the loss of her sister

always has at least 5 throwing knives on her

Glorious Nebula

really old 

their language shows their age 

how are they still functioning

no one’s really sure how they lost that quarter of their face

used to have one of those shooting star decorations, but it got broken off at some point i totally didnt just forget it

??? (left) 

old and dead

one of the ancients

married to garulin, was very happy with her

probably worked a lot on the clockwork stars, but did help with other artifacts as well

pleasant guy, but not really anything special if you ignore his place in history

Drusorig (middle)

also old and dead

another one of the ancients

i don’t have a proper ref for him, but there is this

he has dark fur, for all that matters

i dont trust him

very strong magic

the master crown was his own personal project

he didn’t trust anyone else with it so i think you can imagine who the subject of his experiments with it was.

destroyed most of the evidence of his experiments before his death so no one would know about them

it worked

Volzavair (right)

also also old and dead

guess who’s also one of the ancients (it’s him)

actually has a proper ref

SHORT

gay, but ended up marrying a woman out of convenience and desire for offspring

relatively weak magic, specialized in technology

worked on the Lor Starcutter, but died before it was completed

his oldest kid probably finished it

Kyneriun Snekell

press ‘f’ to pay respects

sweet pastel boy

loves baking

a little younger than magolor

Dalindia Nirymsu

dead

was queen regnant

could be a pretty strict ruler, but tried to be a just ruler

her husband is dead(er?)

ty’s mom

tried to keep him in line

Tiltaii

i’m not even sure if that should be their name but i’ll just... roll with it

theyre nonbinary

a literal doodlebug (pillbug artist)

painted these portraits

doesnt have any magical abilities unless floating their hands counts

bought Paintra from Paint Roller, and was... pretty surprised, to say the least when she suddenly came to life

regardless of their surprise, they’re trying to take good care of her

???

a honey bee

runs a cafe

very polite, but not a pushover

more or less a design with a few ideas attached at this point

Garulin

married to the unnamed green ancient

technically one of the ancients but not commonly acknowledged as one

pretty good at magic

mostly worked with the artifacts’ ‘mind’s, both through programming and magic

Shadow Sectonia

mirror world!sectonia (what a shock)

floralian jewel wasp

accidentally ended up corrupting other world!sectonia by having too much contact with her

naturally a wasp. hasn’t stolen anyone’s body

she’s too nice to do that

dead. actually got murdered around the same time her counterpart died

spoilery elements below (don’t worry he’s the last OC here)

Shadow Taranza

mirror world!taranza (who would’ve guessed)

overly-loyal

like, ‘would unhesitatingly die for someone he cares about’ kind of loyal

nervous mess, even before Sectonia died. that only worsened things

he’s not okay

[desultory-novice]

I like the shifting gold veins. Its like his splintered body is ever-shifting, barely holding itself together. Great contrast to a more static Clockwork Mags.

...! I like that, actually! Let's go with that!

You're right about the parallels/contrast with Clockwork Mags too. Didn't even think of that when drawing them but it's clever!

Speaking of, their friendship dynamics have swapped sides too...

-

Mechalor still loves to shock people without remorse. (Sometimes literally "shock.") And he lies, like, all the time. "KIRBY, DID YOU KNOW... <tells blatant falsehood with a straight face>?" types.

Marx...doesn't really like to mess with people that much anymore. He finally knows what it feels like to hurt and be hurt and it turns out, that's not fun at all. That and, at least from Marx's perspective, his Master Crown scars defeat the "harmless, innocent" facade he used to use to get away with everything. (No one actually minds them, mind you, but to him, it ruined a part of his gimmick.)

As a result, he's now the one who puts a damper on Magolor's unending stream of hijinks and bad ideas.

Mechalor finds this change in his friend a little dull ("WE HAD SO MANY PLANS. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?") but he keeps up his reationship with Marx despite their new differences because...

...Marx was the only one who knew him really well before the Nova incident. Unlike the apologetic Main Game Magolor, Mechalor has failed in his attempts to make a serious apology/gain real friends. (Kirby cares about literally everyone, but Mechalor can't seem to bond with Taranza or Susie or Bandee or the others...) When they're all together, he's treated somewhat like "the annoying team robot that no one can turn off." (even though he's more like a cyborg.)

To his surprise, this doesn't actually bother him! But that's because he seems to be losing touch with his humanity. That Marx is the only one who insists on calling him Mags/Magolor despite Mechalor's attempts to get him to stop pulls a wire in Mechalor's clockwork heart that he just can't bare to cut loose. So lets himself share with Marx the kinds of thoughts he's...not sure how to tell anyone else. 

(Meanwhile, Marx, when he's not resting off the pain, talks to him about this new dream he's got to se up The Grand Marx Circus.)

--

As for their status as a potential couple in this AU, they probably were boyfriends - in the past. They're something else now that they can't quite figure out. To Mechalor relationships are very "???." He can't even process how he might be Marx's boyfriend again like this. (But that's just part of the whole "losing himself" up above.) Marx also knows they can't just "go back to before" but he can't forget and will still come up with reasons to nuzzle up to Magolor.