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#well. lived. i was born there but we moved out this summer.
muirneach · 10 months
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my experience in my schools gifted program is very specific but even when i was little i knew that the program was racist so i dont know how people on here are fully grown adults and yet lacking that knowledge. the gifted program for my general area happened to be in a school in a predominantly non white, poor neighbourhood. i came from a neighbouring school like a kilometre away at most that was majorly white. most of the kids in the gifted program were from all around the city and probably 60-70% white at best (toronto is 45% white as a whole). like the disparity between my class and the class next door… very obvious! also gifted wasnt even good i literally learned nothing for three years so i don’t get the hype
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jackhues · 4 months
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it's not hate... | oscar piastri
note: okay so i was bored and i got a random inspiration i hope y'all like this <3 i think this will have 3/4 parts, but they might be split up if i reach the picture limit.
pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader, logan x best friend!reader, one sided!enemies to lovers
next
faceclaim: various, from pinterest
youruser & logansargeant
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liked by y/bffsuser, oscarpiastri, yourmomsig & others
youruser: gang's back together 🤘
pinned youruser: welcome back to america @/logansargeant glad you could join us! -> user: i love how she seems sarcastic but i know babes is so happy he's back
user: logan living out his frat dreams
user: this would be logan daily if he didn't go into racing
user: wait i'm confused... who's this? -> user: y/n y/ln! from what we know, her and logan are best friends since they were born or something. she finished her undergrad, but i think she's doing law school now (?)
user: i ship -> user: ew
y/bffsuser: not pictured is the entire drink falling out -> logansargeant: it wasn't my fault! she moved her head -> youruser: yeah okay, blame the woman -> logansargeant: i blame when she's wrong. and you are. -> user: stop they're so sibling
yourmomsig: aw no one posted the pic of y/n falling off the bed during the fight -> youruser: MOM! -> logansargeant: i tried but she stole my phone -> user: well we know who the favorite child is now
y/bffsuser: @/yourprivuser no photo creds -> user: IS THAT Y/N'S PRIVATE USER???!!! I NEED TO BE ACCEPTER NOWWW this comment thread has been deleted
oscarpiastri has requested yourprivuser!
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y/bffspodcast
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liked by user, user, oscarpiastri & others
y/bffspodcast: surprise episode out now! take a listen for exclusive deets on logan's love life, his best friends, and the time he almost became a dad to a baby crocodile
tagged: logansargeant
user: i'm sorry, logan did WHAT NOW?
user: A CROCODILE?? -> user: well he does live in florida
user: it's a crime that y/n and oscar haven't met before. i need the irl best and the f1 bestie to get together and spill tea on logan -> oscarpiastri: well we might have to change that this weekend -> user: OSCAR??!! PLEASE DO IT! I BEG!
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Y/BFFS PODCAST - TRANSMISSION timestamp: 4:40-8:23
y/bff: i mean, you've known y/n your whole life, right?
logan: my whole life, yup. like, i was maybe only a few hours old when i saw her for the first time. you already know this, but like we have the same birthday, december 31st 2000. and we're also born at the same time, in the same hospital, literally right across the hall from each other.
YB: same time? like seriously? how did i not know that?
LS: *laughs* i mean, same time. down to the minute, at least. it's why we call each other 'twin', we're born at the same time. and like our parent knew each other and joked that we might be born on the same day... little did they know
YB: *laughing* that's insane. oh my gosh, and you guys have just been best friends since then. i love that. i assume you're the one who's got all the younger high school stories about her. i got some college ones, but you have the real gold mine, don't you?
LS: i've got my fair share of our insane stories, yeah
YB: mind sharing one?
LS: i'm trying to think of one that's not absolutely insane... oh okay! so one time, we were in the pool, it was summer, and then y/n just stops trying to murder me with the pool noodle and goes still. i'm confused as hell, so i'm trying to see what she's doing but she tells me to shut up. she's watching the bushes around the pool, so i swim to the edge of the pool next to her, and the two of us are just watching the bushes. i have no idea what's going on, but y/n's waiting for something. and then, a baby croc starts walking out of it, and it's so small, but like it's mom was nowhere. we didn't know what to do. and y/n *laughs* y/n goes, "oh we have to adopt it". i'm like what? but she just start spiraling "oh we're his parents now. he just saw us. what if the mom died? i don't know how to feed a baby croc? but i have to learn, it's my baby croc now." finally she calms down, and we get everything sorted out, but she cried when we had to leave the baby crocodile. adopted it and all within three seconds of seeing it
YB: *laughing* i'm dead, oh my god that sounds like her though. that's so fucking funny, she made you a crocodile dad!
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Y/N ADJUSTED HER SUNGLASSES, the Miami sun nearly blinding her as she walked towards the paddock. Next to her, her racer best friend, Logan Sargeant, nearly skipped along next to her. She could feel his excitement at being able to race so close to home again, and it honestly helped lift her own spirits.
Logan smiled and waved at some cameras and fans nearby, grinning brightly and taking the time to stop and sign some stuff. Once the fans had trickled away, Logan made his way back to his best friend, throwing his arm over her shoulder.
"You okay?" he asked, turning his head away from the cameras so they couldn't read his lips.
"I'm great," she promised.
"It's not too late to change your mind," he reminded her. "We can say you were sick, or you weren't feeling well, or you just forgot, or-"
"-That I have diarrhea?" Y/N grinned a little. "You know, all of your solutions to this thing seem to involve me just running away or ignoring it."
"I mean, it's how you take on most of life," he shrugged.
"I've never felt more called out in life," she rolled her eyes. "Look, we've got a plan. I head over to the garage first, take a few pics, then say 'oh I have to go. I haven't even been to Williams' garage yet'. I've got this Logie, I promise. Besides, I don't even hate him. If I did, there would be a lot more violence threatened and swearing involved. I also would've blocked him."
Logan didn't look necessarily convinced, but he didn't argue either. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, "If you need anything, send me a 911 text. I'll be on standby the entire time, I swear."
Y/N smiled at the boy, waving goodbye as she dropped him off to the Williams garage.
"I know you'll be there," she smiled. "It's what we do. Be there for each other."
MEANWHILE, IN THE MCLAREN GARAGE, the Aussie driver was pacing back and forth, turning back to the entrance every few seconds.
"Yeah, great job at being subtle, Osc," Lando Norris, his teammate, commented sarcastically. "Who're you even waiting for?"
"Y/N," Oscar answered simply.
Normally, he'd engage in banter with his Brit teammate, but he was too nervous to give answers longer than a few words. He was finally going to see Y/N, in person. Not on the other side of a screen, not a flash of hair that ran away too quickly, not a caller ID he'd see on Logan's phone all too often. After all these years, he was finally going to be able to see her, face to face.
He had to admit, he did seem a little pathetic trying to contact her. But the DM he'd sent years ago on her public account had never gone through. And he'd left it, thinking maybe they weren't meant to know each other, simply to know of each other.
But then he'd seen her private instagram, with so few followers, he knew that she wouldn't be able to miss it. But maybe she didn't use it, or maybe it was an old account, but he had no luck on that account either.
He finally mustered the courage to ask Logan for her number and just reach out. He was surprised and a little shocked she said yeah, but he was in too deep now to change his mind.
"Oooh, who's Y/N?" Lando teased. "Is she a girlfriend?"
Oscar whipped his head towards his teammate, narrowing his eyes at him.
"Why are you a literal child?" he asked. "Y/N's a friend. Well, she's a friend of Logan's. His best friend. And everyone found out the two of us never met each other, and they went crazy saying we have to meet and whatnot. So I invited her here to take a few pictures."
Lando tilted his head, almost as if he was dissecting the truth behind Oscar's words.
"Logan? Logan Sargeant's best friend? Her name's Y/N?"
"Yes, Lando. And everyone says I'm his best friend in racing, so we have to meet or something."
"Alright, I believe you," Lando decided. "Call me when she gets here, I want to take pictures with her too."
"Sure," Oscar answered nonchalantly.
Turns out, there was no need to call him over, because a second after he'd said that, she walked in.
Oscar stared at her as she looked around the garage, her eyes drinking in just how different it was from the Williams' garage that she was used to.
Lando made a noise between a snort and a laugh, causing Oscar to glare at him.
"No, nothing," Lando nodded to himself, ignoring Oscar's silent question. He cupped his hands over his mouth, shouting across the garage, "Y/N!"
Her head whipped over to the sound of her name, her posture relaxing the slightest bit as she realized it was only Lando and Oscar and not some random person. She didn't exactly know them, never even met them, but she knew enough of them to be a little comfortable.
She smiled slightly as she reached them, "Hey. How are you guys?"
Lando looked to Oscar, who simply stared at Y/N, before decided to take the reigns. "We're good, thanks for asking. I'm Lando, my friend here is Oscar, and I assume you already know that."
"Yeah, I watch enough F1 to know that," she smiled, falling into easy conversation with the Brit.
"Well it's nice to know you didn't take an invitation from a man who's name you didn't know," Lando joked. "That's what I call important information."
"I went a step further and made sure he was known by a friend of mine," Y/N continued the banter. "My best friend." She turned to acknowledge Oscar, "Logan spoke highly of you for a long time now. It's nice to finally be able to meet you."
"Yeah, same," he nodded. "I mean, Logan's spoke a lot about you too. All the time. He still does. It's nice to meet you too."
Oscar resisted the urge to close his eyes and curse himself out.
Y/N didn't seem to mind his stuttering and stumbling. In fact, her posture seemed to straighten out a bit, and her smile turned a little bit more warm.
She was beginning to realize that no matter how bad Logan had gotten it, Oscar was human too. He was new to this, and he probably had someone defending him the way she defended Logan. Maybe she was a little harsh on him. She just didn't like how it wasn't fair.
It was why she wanted to be a lawyer. She wanted to try and make things fair for people.
But in defending Logan with her entire heart and soul... she was being unfair to Oscar. She could try and be nice. It's only for a few minutes. After that, she could go back to avoiding him.
"So, how do you wanna do the pictures?" Y/N asked. "We should get them done now, I might have to leave early if my laptop doesn't work. I have a few assignments due."
"Right, yeah," Oscar nodded. "We can- uh-"
"The lighting's nice over there," Lando pointed out. "I'll take the picture of you guys."
"You don't wanna be in it?" Y/N asked.
"No, I'm alright," Lando smiled. "Unfortunately, I'm not best friends with Logan, unlike you two. Besides, I'm pretty good with a camera."
Y/N frowned at the reminder that Lando was one of the drivers who wasn't friends with Logan. She quickly fixed her expression, but Oscar noticed (only because he'd has his eyes on her ever since she entered). He was tempted to ask her about it, but she smiled and his brain froze up.
"Alright then, let's take the picture."
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youruser
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, y/bffsuser & others
youruser: miami, you were fun 🤍
tagged: logansargeant, landonorris, oscarpiastri
pinned youruser: to my haters: fuck you, i'm always proud of logan. no matter what. i chose him as my best friend and i'll choose him again every time. i'm just sad y'all have never loved someone so much to understand what it means to always be proud of them, no matter any outcome. he's my best friend, my brother, and the outcome of race isn't going to change that
pinned youruser: i heard there was a logan's besties meet up @/oscarpiastri -> oscarpiastri: oh yeah, did you end up making it? -> youruser: swipe to find out!
landonorris: same time next race 👀👀 -> youruser: wanna do my class for me?? -> landonorris: i will understand nothing. -> oscarpiastri: as if you understand anything ever -> landonorris: all grown up now, are you? -> oscarpiastri: shut up
mclaren: it was a pleasure having you stop by! next time, you should stay for longer! -> williamsracing: stop stealing her from us
williamsracing: loved having you around for the weekend!
alex_albon: wowwww, i didn't even make the cut this weekend -> youruser: all the pics i took of you were 0.5s -> alex_albon: thanks for showing some mercy
user: stop she looks so pretty
user: logan bestie meet up... but where's logan? -> user: getting attacked by a haas in his home race -> user: oof
user: TELL EM GIRL!
user: i want what she and logan have. like they'd DIE for each other
oscarpiastri: it was great to finally meet you! hopefully it's not the last time either -> user: boy please TRY to be subtle
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PART TWO
notes: i hope y'all liked this, don't forget to like + reblog! alsoo... comment on this part (not any others) if you want to be tagged, i might not respond but i'll add you to the taglist if you comment.
but my tags don't always work, so you might want to follow my writing tag 'naqia writes!' or the tag for this short series 'the bsf of my bsf! series' so they show up on your dash at some point :)
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f1byjessie · 8 months
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HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.
love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.
( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )
━━ part two.
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by logansargeant, williamsracing, and 17,349 others
tagged: logansargeant
yourusername from a little boy meeting his heroes to a young man racing alongside them, getting to see all you’ve accomplished throughout the years makes me the proudest sister in the world. 2024 better watch its back, because sargeants always come back swinging.
view all 2,863 comments
logansargeant we pack a mean punch too 👊
↳ yourusername the meanest 👊
user wait no cuz this is actually so cute omg??? i want a sister to make cute posts about me
user definitely can’t wait to see more y/n at the races in 2024
williamsracing It was lovely having you in the paddock this season Y/N! We’re already looking forward to seeing what 2024 has in store!
↳ yourusername it was a genuine honor to be there! plus i look great in blue 😉💙
↳ user wait does this mean logan is re-signing??
alex_albon me and lily would love to have you both come round during the break if schedules align! 
↳ yourusername awwww alex!! speaking on behalf of logan, we’d love to!!
user i’m living vicariously through the sibling bond that the sargeant twins have
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 426,972
tagged: oscarpiastri
mclaren Some of our favourite meme-worthy images of Oscar from 2023! Which is your fav?
view all 2,632 comments
oscarpiastri guys…
user mclaren admin knows what the people want
↳ user mclaren admin feeding us well on this fine day
user these are actually so funny omg mans ain’t got no face filter
landonorris yea so this won’t be necessary for me pls and thx
↳ mclaren We already have the pictures ready! 👍
user i’ve made all of these faces at my tv this year
yourusername oh to be a rubber ducky in oscar piastri’s ice bath
↳ user OH? MY?? GOD???
↳ user UMMMM
↳ user real
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 835,781 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
landonorris papaya pals! looking forward to another season with you mate
view all 6,264 comments
user going into cardiac arrest
user damn oscar looking caked up
↳ user i’m glad i wasn’t the only one thinking it
oscarpiastri of all the pictures
↳ landonorris i giveth thy people what they want
↳ yourusername and we thank you for it sir lando 🫡
user MANIFESTING MORE PODIUMS FOR 2024
mclaren Looking forward to another year, boys! 🧡
danielricciardo you’re only posting these to show off your ass
↳ landonorris and if i am?
INSTAGRAM.
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 11,263 others
yourusername i can still recall our last summer 
view all 926 comments
logansargeant it’s december 1st???
↳ yourusername it’s summer somewhere
user i wish i lived in florida
user MAMMA MIA REFERENCE
oscarpiastri ☀️
↳ yourusername 🌊
user i’m so delulu about what this could mean
↳ user it’s probably just an aesthetic caption?? y’all are fr crazy
↳ user no cuz it’s literally winter rn in the states so why would she post about summer?
↳ user bc she lives in florida?? where the weather is like summer all the time??
You lower your phone and look back to the dark waters crashing against the shore. Logan’s time in Formula 1 has meant you’ve been traveling around the world, getting to experience so much more than you’d ever imagined you would in your lifetime, but nothing compares to the familiarity and comfort of Florida— of home.
And your friends.
“So,” Sophia bumps her shoulder against yours, eyes alight with mischief when you turn to meet her expectant gaze. “Come on,” she teases, “tell me about him.”
You’ve been friends with her for a few years now, ever since moving back to the United States. She was born and partially raised in Belgium, so after spending so long in Europe, she’s the only one who understood the minor culture shock of moving back. You both clicked, and you’ve been stuck together ever since. You’ve learned, however, that if there’s one constant about her, it’s without a doubt her need to gossip about anything and everything— but specifically boys.
You huff out a laugh, “There’s no ‘he’ to tell you about.”
She hums into her glass of wine, eyeing you skeptically.
“There isn’t!” You laugh, shoving her lightly.
She gasps and feigns falling back onto the blanket spread out beneath you. She’s dramatic, too, and that’s another reason you matched so well. She feels like the sister you never had, which makes moments like this feel even more special.
“This back and forth with a certain OP-eighty-one suggests otherwise,” she sing-songs back at you as she sits up, making kissing faces and cackling when you shove at her again.
“I’m not sure how you even know about that,” you grumble. “You don’t even use Instagram.”
“Maybe not, babes,” she casts her gaze out across the ocean, “but I have my sources. So come on, between us girls and us girls only, tell me what’s going on.”
You heave a sigh, gulp down the last mouthful of wine in your glass, and then pour yourself another while she waits. You’re not getting out of this, and part of you does really want to talk about things. On top of being your brother and therefore way more protective than he needs to be, Logan is also Oscar’s best friend and you’re not sure what “bro code” is exactly, but you imagine not dating your friend’s sister is part of it— so he’s out of the question. You’d go to Dalton if you were sure he wouldn’t tell Logan, but they’re loyal to each other and have some sort of unspoken pact when it comes to your love life. You joked once that instead of your dad, it’d be them waiting at the door with a shotgun if you ever brought a guy home, but you’re not sure it was a joke at all with how they act sometimes.
“It started in Bahrain,” you begin, rolling your eyes when she wiggles excitedly and turns her undivided attention to you. “I’ve known him for a while because he and Logan have driven together since they were young, so I messaged him after the race to say that it sucked he had to retire so early into it.”
“And?”
You shoot her a look. “And, we kept talking. One thing led to another and we met up for drinks…” You fiddle with the rim of your glass, glancing back out to the water. You can’t tell if the heat on your face is because you’re embarrassed, or from spending so much of your day under the Floridian sun. “That’s it.”
“That’s it?” She asks incredulously.
“Well—” you purse your lips. “We kissed. Once. When he dropped me off at the hotel. But it was probably just the alcohol or something. I don’t think he wanted it to mean anything. I bet he just wanted to have fun but couldn’t because he had to leave early in the morning.”
She sends you a look. “He was sober enough to drive you back… but you think it was alcohol influencing his decisions? And he kissed you, even knowing he wouldn’t be able to ‘have fun?’ Right. Didn’t mean anything at all.”
You shake your head and huff. “He was upset because he’d had such high hopes for his first Grand Prix and it ended poorly, and I was there to comfort him, so maybe that’s why. He got caught up in the moment, or something.”
“Y/N, I love you. I do. You’re my best friend and you’re like a little sister to me,” she cups your face in her hands and turns you to look at her. “But you can be so dense sometimes, do you know that?”
“Then why hasn’t he brought it up?” You ask, your voice garbled slightly from the way her hands squish your cheeks together. “We saw each other again in Melbourne, to celebrate him getting his first points, and he didn’t say anything then. Or Miami, or England, or Japan.”
She gives you another look and lets your face go. “It’s a two-way street, babe. Why haven’t you brought it up?”
And… that’s a good point. You technically could’ve brought it up, too. You’d just been so afraid of how he would’ve reacted that you’d chosen to keep quiet, preferring uncertainty over rejection. It’s the same reason why you so rarely pursue the things you want. A fear of rejection stands in your way, and you realize suddenly that you could’ve ruined things with someone you genuinely like just because you were afraid.
“You know, like, Schrodinger’s cat," you start meekly. "If you don’t open the box, the cat is dead and alive, because you don’t know. So I never brought it up. Because not knowing is better than him telling me it was nothing.”
She reaches out and wraps her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side. When she speaks again, her voice is calmer, less accusatory, a murmur against the ambiance of the hissing tide— “But what if he tells you it’s something?”
You groan. “He probably thinks I’m not interested.”
“Y/N—”
“Oh God!” You pull away and bury your face into your hands. “I ruined it all!”
She pries your hands away and looks you in the eye. There’s a sparkle in her gaze, it’s the look she gets when she has a plan.
“You haven’t ruined it. We just have some work to do.”
━━ tags: @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis
━━ a/n: i am overwhelmed by the amount of love on the first part of this! genuinely did not anticipate it at all, and i'm so thankful. so here's the second part! i hope it does justice to the first!
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chrisevansonly · 1 year
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𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲’𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜
✯charles leclerc x female reader
✯seeing charles become a father was your happiest day, especially knowing he’s your daughters absolute favourite person
✯no warnings, quite cute and wholesome
✯here is a little dad!charles post, i love dad charles so much you have no idea. obviously i made it so that his daughter is bilingual, so there will be french and english swapped back and forth! i feel like this isn’t good but idk anyway enjoy <3
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When Ella was born Charles thought he could never have a day where he’d feel as elated and as whole as he did, he felt those exact feelings the day he married you, and again when you told him you were pregnant. Although he knew this feeling all too well, it only intensified having his baby girl here with him and watching her grow and learn as she got older.
You loved watching the father and daughter duo play, laugh and of course cuddle up on the couch together after a long day, but nothing beat seeing her reaction when he got home from race weekends. Ella was learning to speak english and french of course, you were far more english speaking than Charles having moved to Monaco for him, but your knowledge of the language was stronger than it had been when you first got here.
“Maman?”
Looking towards the living room you smiled seeing Ella sitting at her favourite spot, colouring a picture for her dad. She had his eyes, and his hair too, not to mention a smidgen of his attitude. They were carbon copies of each other.
“Yes my love?”
You set aside what you were doing to join her in the living room
“What time is daddy going to be home?”
“I think he should be here very soon ma belle”
She nodded before showing you her drawing
“Pensez-vous qu'il aimera ce que j'ai fait?”
You smiled rubbing her cheek gently with your thumb, her eyes looking up at you with the slightest hesitation behind them
“oui mon bébé, il va l'aimer”
At your answer she smiled placing it back down onto her drawing table before double checking to make sure her work was perfect. A habit she had when it came to making anything for Charles, who was more than happy to hang all of her artwork in his office, the bright colours always contrasting against the dark oak that lined the walls.
Ella cleaned up her mess, organizing her markers in colour before the sound of a car locking outside had her running to the window looking outside to see if she could spot her father.
“Papa! Papa!”
From outside, Charles saw his baby girl looking at him from the window, the excitement on her face causing him to smile as he waved at her, blowing a kiss to her
“Maman, we have to go to the door!! Right now come!”
You laughed as she grabbed your hand, pulling you to the front door, waiting patiently as you unlocked and opened it. Ella was quick to run out and down a few steps, giggles leaving her lips as she got closer to her dad who was quick to pick her up and hold her to him.
“Ella Bella!”
“Papa tu ma’s manqué!”
Charles laughed rubbing her back
“I missed you too ma chère, were you good for maman?”
Ella nods her head quickly before looking to where you’re still standing by the door
“Devrions-nous aller voir maman?”
“Oui!”
On the way up to you he placed a few kisses to Ella’s head, every moment he got to spend with you two would always be special to him, Ella was getting so big now he wanted to savour every minute of her still being his little princess.
“Welcome home baby”
You smile bringing the two of them in for a hug, only pulling back to press a kiss to his lips before ushering your family into the house and out of the humid summer air. Once the three of you were inside Charles put Ella down so she could run to get her drawing, allowing your husband to pull you in for another kiss, this time keeping a hold of you
“How about you? You miss me that much too?”
Laughing you nodded
“Of course, always do Char”
Charles brought his things to the bottom of the stairs, not wanting the haste of unpacking at the moment, he’d get to it later, or you’d beat him to it as usual, always more than happy to let him and Ella spend time together.
“Papa come here please!”
Kissing your cheek, Charles walked to the living room where Ella was waiting, a smile on her face as she held out the drawing she made
“Wow! Did you do this yourself?!”
Ella beamed at the surprise in his tone
“Yes! Made it for you papa!!”
“Je l’aime tellement mon bébé, c’est magnifique! Merci Ella, je t’aime tellement”
“Je t’aime papa!”
Charles smiled as Ella jumped up and down, wrapping her little arms around his neck as she giggled, happy her father loved the drawing she made. As you watched the two of them your heart grew, there was no love that would ever match how Charles felt about his baby girl, and one day you’d hoped he’d feel about another little Leclerc running around.
If there was anything Charles was better at than racing, it would be being the best father to your daughter, and the best husband to you, there was no doubt about it.
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lizzy06 · 2 months
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Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader Fic Recs!!(Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)
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Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist
Nekoma Fic Rec Masterlist
I Dare You✨✨✨ by Orphan account(oneshot, fake dating, fluff) Kuroo needs a girlfriend for a week. You're determined to make him regret asking you. [COMPLETED]
Soulmate au ✨✨by @haikyuu-imagines-and-others (oneshot, angst, fluff)[COMPLETED]
 Bed Head ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, humor, slight smut)Kuroo’s hair was an undeniable nuisance. It was a shame, though, because it was here to stay.[COMPLETED]
 The Deal✨ @oreosmama (oneshot, angst to fluff, slight smut) Kuroo needs your help wooing the pain in the ass cheerleader that’s your lab partner. But what if Kuroo wasn’t actually trying to pursue her?[COMPLETED]
 Forgive In Time ✨ @oreosmama (oneshot, angst)Kuroo always teased you, joked with you during class. You couldn’t help but grow feelings for him. Evidently he didn’t return them.[COMPLETED]
Just a Little Confession ✨ @oreosmama (oneshot, angst to fluff) A confession to Kenma doesn’t end as well as you thought it would, but luckily a tall, kind third-year is there to save the day. Still, confessions suck, and relationships are hard to read sometimes.[COMPLETED]
 Pumpkin Eater✨ (angst)(Part 2 Options: Second Chance or Never Again)  @oreosmama Last night, your friend sent you pictures of Kuroo with some girl at a random club. In short, not only was he a liar, but he was also a cheater, and you couldn’t stand to be with him after this.[COMPLETED]
Through the Summer and the Fall ✨ by @intomymindspace (oneshot, death, angst, happy/open ending) For eight short lives, you have loved each other. On your ninth, you are finally able to see it out to the end. (9 lives, haha, get it? Because he’s a Nekoma and they’re cats) [COMPLETED]
the in-between ✨by kuroopaisen (friends to lovers, fluff, nekoma manager! reader) Kuroo decides to tutor you in chemistry... but in return, you have to be nekoma's manager.[COMPLETED]
I miss you by @novanekoma (two shot, angst) main lyric of inspiration: I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you[COMPLETED]
Assistance Required by SweetCandyLiar(fluff, tooth rooting)You are Kuroo's Assistant, and boy are you tired of being stuck in the office until midnight because your boss is a workaholic.[COMPLETED]
Provocateur ✨by QuillMind (friends to lovers, childhood friends fluff, smut)The so-called 'provocation expert' of Nekoma High School actually had an equal back in the day, in the form of you, his and Kenma's childhood friend. After eight years, you've moved back to Tokyo for a surprise reunion, but considering you're no longer children, everything can't be the same, can it?[COMPLETED]
soulmate au  by @hold-my-hand-kuroo (oneshot, angst, fluff) aka the soulmate au where everyone is born with a book quote on their chest, and soulmates are people who share the starting and ending lines from the same book, and kuroo’s just unlucky. [COMPLETED]
somewhere only we know ✨by wanderwithme (wanderlustt)(oneshot, fluff, friends to lovers)Four times Kuroo proposes to you—and the last time he does.[COMPLETED]
broken by @tooruluv (oneshor, angst, ex lovers)[COMPLETED]
GHOSTED. by wanderwithme (wanderlustt) (fluff, angst, oneshot)In which Kuroo (a "ghost") falls in love with you (not a ghost).[COMPLETED]
Unrequited by @watevermelon (oneshot, fluff)Years of unrequited feelings and longing looks for your childhood best-friend Kuroo, it was only when he was in the arms of another that he finally realized his true feelings for you; when it is almost too late.[COMPLETED]
“i guess we’re soulmates” by @mirakeul (soulmate au, oneshot, fluff)Soulmate! au where you can write on your skin and it will show up on their skin. You were being bs-ed by yours, Tetsu as he continues to pester your life[COMPLETED]
Hey by Deranged-Gongzhu (soulmate au, fluff, humor) You heard 'hey' for the nth time and you are sure ur response doesn't match [COMPLETED]
Songbird ✨by @sincerelybubbles (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)[COMPLETED]
Dangerous Soulmate by @mango-bango-bby (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)[COMPLETED]
soulmate au by @haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles (oneshot, fluff) soulmate has the same tattoo as you[COMPLETED]
soulmate au by @haikyuu-dream (oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]
Retrouvailles ✨by dudeandduchess (arranged marriage, hate to love, angst, fluff)She was raised to believe that her future marriage was one that was fated, until she met him— the one and only Kuroo Tetsurō. She loved him, he hated her, and he reminded her every single day until she just gave up on him— on them— or did she, really? [ONGOING]
Dating! For science by hqprotectionsquad(oneshot, fake dating, requited love, fluff) Kuroo’s tweaking his AI program for his senior thesis and he just needs one thing left to make this true to life: a fake girlfriend or You. [COMPLETED]
Just Friends by crescentsteel(fluff, angst, smut)You are friends with Kuroo. Friends with benefits that is. You like the set-up, but you end up getting more than what you bargain for.[COMPLETED]
Treasure You ✨ by IndigoWriterNSFW (oneshot, fake dating, friend to lovers, smut) Your parents don't believe you have broken up with kei so u make kuroo your fake bf to convince them [COMPLETED]
heartbreak girl ✓✨ | unrequited love, angst kenma x f!reader x kuroo by @tooruluv | teaser | pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 (final) |[COMPLETED]
rookie by laculite(fluff, smut, pinning)you’re tired of a lot of things; school, your nymphomaniac neighbour, the rising price of fuji apples at your local grocery store. but mostly, you’re tired of being the only that isn’t getting any. or at least, the only one who’s never gotten any before. [COMPLETED]
Public Transit✨✨ by Orphan_account (train, 18+)Your heart pounded, knowing you were being touched, and he was watching you.[COMPLETED]
Somewhere only we know✨ by wanderwithme(wanderlustt)(oneshot,fluff)Four times Kuroo proposes to you—and the last time he does.[COMPLETED]
Reverse Psychology by PetitePandaBear (oneshot, fake dating, fluff) Kuroo insists that you join him to play a prank on Kenma. [COMPLETED]
I Want the Real Thing by Orphan account (Fake dating, friends to lovers) “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” [COMPLETED]
excuse you  ✨by @mitsuki-murakami (oneshot, fluff, jealousy)[COMPLETED]
zero o’clock✨ by @mitsuki-murakami (one shot, angst, fluff)[COMPLETED]
How He Shows You Affection by @jayeray-hq(oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]
He’s My Best Friend by @jayeray-hq(oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]
Domestic Deity? Or Dud?  by @jayeray-hq (oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]
good luck, have fun by wanderwithme(wanderlustt) (oneshot, fluff, slice of life, smut) In which you're a gamer, Kuroo is not a gamer, and Kenma plays an unwitting wingman.[COMPLETED]
Cut From the Same Cloth ✨by Geezfries(fluff, angst, smut)Kuroo is determined to win over Kenma's new friend, who can't stand the sight of him (or so she says) [COMPLETED]
And that's how Kuroo got a girlfriend thanks to Kenma by addictedto__you (oneshot, fake dating, fluff)You're out shopping with your friends, when you decide to stop at GameStop to buy a new videogame. There you bump into a very shy blond haired guy... [COMPLETED]
The Rhyme and Reason for Rhetoric✨ by momothespicy (momothesweet) (smut, fluff) He's a punk who needs a tutor. You're a fanfiction-reading nerd. You know how the rest goes. [HIATUS]
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manicpixiefelix · 9 months
Text
head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 6.
Summary: Felix learns about what happened between you and Oliver at the club, and some jackass makes assumptions about you and Felix and your intentions towards Oliver. The interaction gets you worked up enough that you feel the need to repay Felix as when he'd defended you. With sex.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: SMUT; AFAB!reader, d/s dynamics, felix being a chatty brat, assume the reader is on birth control, unprotected sex.
A/N: 4782 words. cannot go two chapters without having a felix/reader moment it seems. bare with me i swear we get more oliver as it goes on, but he's just watching through the blinds right now and collecting information. also forgive me, not only is this unedited, it's also the first actual, explicit smut scene i've written in years, and even longer since i've been intimate with someone with a dick. i also dont read smut so this might be weird pacing wise at the end. honestly the smut is just a backdrop for character development. have at ye, and please lemme know what you think!
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
Summer creeps in almost insidiously, days getting longer and warmer, humidity forcing it's way into every single facet of your lives. Afternoons outside of classes are spent doing not much of anything, hoping that when night falls, the temperature will fall with it.
This afternoon is the coolest you've had in several weeks, laying on Felix's floor, listening to him play the guitar while Oliver was draped over the foot of his bed, gazing at Felix's bookshelf. There's a sweet breeze through the open window and you hum along to the tune you recognise your best friend playing, letting yourself soak in the moment.
The quiet spell breaks as Oliver moves, reaches out for something on Felix's bookshelf.
"That's cute," he muses, "baby Felix." It must be the photo of Felix and his childhood dog, the you'd only met once or twice as a kid before he'd passed, before you'd been properly friends. But Oliver puts the photo back almost as fast as he'd picked it up, "there aren't any pictures of me as a kid," he muses.
"You and Y/N have that in common," Felix says idly, surprising both you and Oliver, though for different reasons; you hadn't even realised he'd remembered that about you. Your vapid, jet-setting, philanthropist parents had always been incredibly image conscious, and a child was never part of that image. Born out of obligation to their own parents to produce a grandchild to make eventual inheritance easier, they longed to distance themselves from the very idea of you unless they desperately needed to.
And they hadn't for as long as you've been alive.
"If there were baby photos of me, that'd prove that my parents had a child," you laughed, but there was no real humour in it, "and none of us wants that."
The invisible heir.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Oliver says faintly, an unfamiliar, unreadable look in his eyes as he gazes over at you. You give a blithe shrug.
"It means I got to find a home in Felix," you say easily, the wording sappy enough to make Felix himself laugh.
"You're such a sap, that's so much nicer than what I was going to say."
"Go on then, out with it," you prompted him, despite his faint, playful protest.
"I was going to call you another ward of the Saltburn Estate," Felix grins at you, "for better or worse."
"At least you had a family who loved you," Oliver turns away again, pressing his cheek to the duvet as his gaze focused back on the photo of Felix and his dog, "even if they weren't yours." There's a distinct discomfort in the air now, a reminder of how vastly Oliver's life differs from your own.
"I was lucky in a lot of ways," is all you can think to say. Felix starts playing guitar again.
These long days turn into long nights, parties, girls and boys and everyone in between, hazy chats and drinking games and hands on you - holding you, dancing with you, brushing past, tapping with excitement, always hands on you. The quiet way Oliver goes through these strange situations may be read as awkward to everyone else, but you're no longer under any such illusions.
"You're desperate to feel needed."
There was no hesitation in his voice the other night, his hands on you, his mouth on you.
"Then need me, want me."
How easily he'd made you flustered in the club, you didn't realise he had it in him. Honestly if you hadn't experienced it yourself, you wouldn't believe it if someone else had told you. There's been a change, however, a subtle, unnoticeable one to anyone looking in from the outside. Every so often, on nights out, you'll catch him watching you with that same hungry look in his eyes, but will never act on it, however much you wish he would.
"I do, but not like this, not now."
What the fuck was he playing at? You never knew how to bring it up, even when you were alone together. But he never stopped reached out for you, he never shied away from your touch. Apart from this one thing, it was the exact same as before.
If only that one thing didn't have the potential to change everything.
"Has Ollie seemed any different to you lately?" You go to the only person you know you can trust with this. Felix frowns at his hand of cards for a long moment before looking back up at you.
"Sorry, what was the question?"
"Ollie," you go a little slower, rearranging your own hand of cards, "does he seem... I don't know, different to you?" Then, as Felix was considering, "got any fives?"
"Go fish." You should both be studying for an upcoming exam.
"What do you mean? Has anyone said anything to you?" Felix momentarily put down his cards to relight his cigarette, fixing you with an intense gaze, "did something happen?"
"Did someone say something to you?" You pivot for the moment, still looking at your cards.
"Annabel."
"Annabel?"
"About her birthday thing."
"Are you taking your turn or what?"
"Oh, right," he's still frowning, picking up his cards with his free hand, "threes?" You swear as you hand over two threes, as he quietly cheers.
"Anyways, what about Annabel's birthday thing? Does she has a problem with Ollie?" At your question, Felix ums and ahs, and avoids eye contact, "yes then?"
"No-one else in the group is a huge fan of him," he even sounds guilty admitting it out loud, "everyone else can kind of feel how out of place he is and it makes things awkward. I know we think he's lovely," Felix tried to quickly placate you, or perhaps his own conscience, "but the man's got zero chat." This does, however, make you snort.
"Ollie's got chat," you smirk down at your cards, only realising what you'd said when you're met with a shocked silence. Looking up, Felix is staring at you with utter surprise.
"Does he now?" He sounds downright scandalised. You can feel yourself growing flustered, both under Felix's delighted, intrigued gaze, and at your own memories from the club, "so something did happen?"
"Nothing happened!"
"Something definitely happened!"
"I didn't fuck him."
"Between nothing and fucking there's a whole lot of somethings that could have happened," card game completely forgotten, Felix is enraptured as you begin to briefly explain the interaction at the club -
"- and well then, he starts calling me out while aggressively making out with me," you take a deep, final breath, finally looking Felix in the eyes, "and I desperately wanted to fuck him because of it." You sigh, and give Felix plenty of time to process the story and recover.
"But you didn't?" Finally, he speaks, and you groaned, throwing your head back to look at the stars.
"No," you sulked, "he disappeared into the crowd and I had to get myself off twice before I could sleep that night. Fucking tease," but you're heart's not really mad at Oliver.
"Always fascinated to learn what turns you on," Felix is desperately trying to hold in his laughter. It's not working, "many of them baffle me."
"That's not the point here, Fi," you rolled your eyes, leaning back against the gravel roof finally, laying back. You hear the pebbles shifting, and moments later Felix joins you, hands behind his head, "I don't know how to talk about it with him," you say softly. Then, tone much lighter, "and it doesn't surprise me that Annabel thinks he has no chat, he just doesn't want to fuck her, and she can't fathom a world where anyone doesn't want her."
Felix laughs, but unfortunately isn't able to offer any real advice to you about your Oliver situation.
Oliver Quick was an anomaly in your life, you should maybe have suspected his friendship to bring on further anomalous occurrences.
"Leave Oliver Quick alone," like the voice in the library that greets you harshly whilst you're hunting down a textbook. Spinning to see who it is, you lay eyes on a blonde man in dreadfully practical clothes; he's glaring at you like you've done him some personal offense.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me," he says sharply, gaze as unwavering as his tone, "you vapid -" he stops himself for a moment, face turning red with anger, "pricks," he settles on, "leave Oliver Quick alone, for his sake."
"Is this a joke?"
"Oh I'm not one for jokes, especially not with the likes of you; I know how you and Mister Catton operate. Selfish," he hissed.
"Do I know you?" Its genuine confusion, and for a moment the man's expression turned annoyed, his righteous indignation turning to faint disappointment as you refused to take him and his request seriously.
"Michael," like it should mean something to you, "Michael Gavey;" still nothing, "I was in the year below you at high school for four years."
"Well, Michael," you start slowly, bordering on condescending, "Ollie's a big boy -"
"I know you; you'll get bored, you two always do," Michael cuts you off with a sneer, some of that anger from just earlier returning, "he deserves more than to be a footnote in your frivolous little lives."
"Fuck off, Mikey." You say it as a warning.
"Michael," he corrects through gritted teeth, "Felix is a slag, which makes you the sensible one, so I thought you'd actually listen -" but the realisation hits you, right as you start to see red.
"You've already tried talking to Ollie," immediately, your tone ices over, humourless, cruel little smile twisting the edges of your lips. Noticing your change in demeanour, the fight seems to drain out of Michael before your very eyes, "and he ignored you, didn't he?" You asked, already knowing the answer from the way he was trying to stammer through an answer.
"Now, Michael," you tell him with a poisonous smile, taking even, measured steps towards him, as you turn his name over on your tongue with as much malice as you can manage, "Michael Gavey, I think I do know you," you're playing with your food, drawing out his discomfort with every slow word; you weren't cruel by nature, not unless someone found which button to press, "first year," you drop your voice low as you get into his space. He starts to shrink backwards, but you're practically on his toes until you're crowding him against the bookshelf, "math genius, shouts in the dining hall -"
"I didn't- just once-"
"If you ever," there's a furious look in your eyes behind your sinister smile as you stand toe-to-toe with Michael, "and I mean fucking ever, breathe the word slag in Felix's direction, or any other insult for that matter," you wet your lips, "I promise the only job you will ever get for the rest of your life will be that of a high school English tutor," you pet his cheek condescendingly, "for students with dyscalculia."
Michael actually shudders.
"You know I can do it too, don't you?" You press, and he nods, looking both furious and ashamed where he can't look you in the eyes, "we went to high school together, Mikey, I know where you came from, I can dictate where you will go." Stepping back, you clear your throat. Nodding to him, you turn on your heel to head further into the library, to continue searching for your book.
Trying to move past it doesn't work, it still irks you, you still can't stop thinking about his weaselly little face, the bitter sneer he wore, and the cruelty with which he spoke about you and Felix. It haunts you. The audacity.
Textbook in hand, you immediately head for the patch of greenery and trees near Oliver's dorm, where you know Felix and the rest of your friends will all be spending their afternoon.
"Ooh~ Y/N coming in hot," Farleigh called, spotting the metaphorical cloud of thunder above you before anyone else.
"What are you doing now?" Ignoring everyone else, you only have eyes for Felix. He grins up at you from where he was using Farleigh's thigh as a pillow.
"I assume whatever it is you're about to ask of me," he says blithely, while the others watch the interaction with amusement.
"I need to rant," was all you said, and Felix held out his hand for you to help him up.
"You're so sexy when you're angry," he says teasingly for the whole group to hear, "has anyone ever told you that?"
"I'm not kidding," you scowl, and his grin widens.
"I know, that's the best part, I could listen to you yell for hours, I usually never get to hear it." The banter continues on the way back to your dorm. The others know it's probably a cover, though none of them, apart from Farleigh of course, know the truth. Most assume you're moments from a breakdown and would like to have your best friend there for support.
The minute you're back in your room, you slam the door shut and toss the textbook to the side. Felix asks you what's wrong, tone still light, and you can feel that protective anger flaring up in you.
Slag.
"If you don't hold me back I might start getting into scraps," you tells him with seriousness, stalking up to him with intent, planting an almost bruising kiss on his lips as you fumble with the buttons of your shirt. It's not often that you're the one getting riled up; Felix is more than enthusiastic.
"Don't fight on my behalf," he laughs, frantically pulling off his sweater. Pausing for a moment to help him with the pullover, the minute it's off and tossed to the side, you're unbuttoning his shirt with one hand as best your able, as he's trying to tug your shirt off in the chaos. The two of you are moving to the bed, and he actually gasps when the back of his legs hit, when you take a beat to raise your eyebrows at him, silently asking permission.
He's already letting himself fall back with a wicked, delighted grin as your hand finds his bare chest.
Then he's breathless, with you braced over him, gazing down at him with a furious determination that you don't usually allow yourself to build up. Felix looks up at you with pure extasy in his eyes, like you hang the stars in the sky. His hands on your ass, his grip is firm and secure, but he doesn't move; he's letting you lead.
"Felix Catton, I ruin lives for you," you practically snarl; a breathy laugh escapes him, caught up in the moment, in the mood that's been building within you, "doesn't feel like enough sometimes -"
"You're so fucking hot," he groans like he can't even help himself, can't hold himself back, can't help but close the gap to your lips, kissing you with that same intensity you're giving him.
"If I hear-" you punctuate your words with rough kisses, "another word-" biting at his lips, "against you, I'm -" fumbling with his belt, "I'm gonna start cutting people -"
"Yeah?" Felix prompts breathlessly with a sharp grin, not even waiting to get your fly all the way down before his hand is in your pants, fingers at an awkward angle in your jeans but still finding your clit. It's like you're feeling everything tenfold with the earlier outrage still burning in your veins -
Vapid pricks. The likes of you. Slag. Watching Felix's hands on the girl in the club. The venom in his voice and fury in his eyes when he'd pinned Farleigh to the wall to defend you - Our Felix; Oliver's voice like honey in your ears, tempting that jealous creature in your chest that you'd gone for years ignoring -
"My Felix," you'd purred as your hand found his cock. For a moment, his breath came out as a stutter, eyes going wide as they meets yours. He looks almost incredulous, then, after a moment, hungry, wanting. It's captivating; he's captivating, like he's desperate to devour every part of this moment and you in it, barely holding himself back.
"One more time for me?" He requests, voice low and pleased, before he changes tactics, indicating for both of you to actually take off your pants.
"Everyone's fucking wrong about you," you tell him, kicking your jeans to the side, watching for a moment as he shimmies with his jeans, looking like he's made of ninety percent limbs. Still, your intensity holds.
"Even the people that like me?" Felix laughs, finally getting himself free of the jeans. Before he can remove his boxers, however, you're on him once more, thumbs hooking into the waistband and pulling them down slowly as you speak.
"Everyone else has these versions of you in their head," you begin to plant kisses along his inner thigh as you work your way up, looking up at him through your lashes, "where you're either an angel who can do no wrong," Felix is already hard when you begin to slowly work your hand up and down the shaft of his cock, "or the absolute devil who's a scourge on the female population," your lip curls for a moment, a derisive kind of amusement at their imagined expense.
"I can't look at you right now," he half chokes out, head falling back against your duvet, "fuck," he gasps. It's enough to bring you back to the moment, and you apologise -
"No, fuck, don't stop anything; the ranting, the -" he gestures to where your movements had slowed briefly, "any of it, I just literally," he laughs a little awkwardly, almost a little self-deprecatingly, "will not last more than a minute if I look at you right now."
Oh.
Oh! This is good!
"What's so different," he prompts through shaky breathes - you can't quite believe how much he's effected by you in this moment, how enthusiastically, how desperately he responds to your dominant intensity - "about the version of me in your head?"
After a beat, you climb off of him, already reaching for your drawer.
"Everything okay?" He asks, eyes opening as he tilts his head to look at you. Pulling out a tube of lube, you focus on opening it up, rather than Felix himself. You should be using protection, you know you should be using protection, but you want to feel all of him, only him.
"I can't talk with my mouth full," you told him, still maintaining that steely intensity, "so we're skipping foreplay." Felix, immediately understanding where you were going with all this, looks back up at the ceiling with a wide smile.
"Fine by me; right now I'm inclined to say that you can do whatever you want forever, honestly - cold!" He announced with shock, jerking up a little as you glided a generous amount of lubricant over his cock. There's a faint look of betray in his eyes, but you just gave him a thin, mean smile.
"Felix, stop talking."
The commanding tone is enough to get him back on board, groaning, arching into your touch as you once again were working his shaft, now so slick your hand glided easily up and down the impressive length.
"My Felix," voice once again low, you use some of the excess lubricant on yourself. Since leaving the library, however, your anger had known it's outlet; just the idea of fucking Felix in a righteous fury had gotten you going, and you were already wet, wanting, desperate for him.
"Don't make me beg," he all but whimpered as you finally straddled his thighs, "fuck, I'll do it for you, but -"
"Shut. Up. Felix." You leaned down, chest pressed to his lips inches from his, whispering, "I won't make you beg," as you sink down onto his cock, swallowing his moan with a kiss.
"I am under no illusions about you, Felix," you begin to murmur, hips rolling at a deep, consistent rhythm, "I don't have a version of you in my head, I just have you; I just want you, as you are."
Pace picking up, you sit, rake your nails lightly down his chest, watch as he pants and groans beneath you. When he holds your hips, your thighs, you can feels his nails digging in, burying himself deep inside of you with each rhythmic thrust. There's something primal and triumphant roaring in your chest, pushing you to sink your nails into him, your teeth -
"I don't care who you fuck," you tell him through gritted teeth, picking up your pace, thighs burning.
"You're a fucking liar," tumbles from Felix's lips as he looks up at you with a smirk.
"I don't, I'd be a hypocrite -" very suddenly, Felix sits up, and you go still with him still inside of you, adjusting to the change, wrapping your legs around him.
"Then you're a hypocrite," he smirks, gaze hazy, heady, euphoric in this moment, "and a liar," and he wraps his arms around you as he kisses you, pulling you back with him as he lays back down on the bed.
"I'm not jealous," you start again, softer this time, but still aiming for stern.
"I'll say I believe you," there's mischief in Felix's eyes as his hand snakes between the two of you, fingers rubbing circles against your clit as you pick your rhythm back up again, slower this time.
"Fi," for the first time all afternoon, your voice softens, and you let your stern demeanour break, instead looking over him, glowing with sweat and endorphins, in your bed, in you, looking up at you with nothing but love in his eyes, "I don't care if nobody knows it's me, but -" you wet your lips, wicked little smile on your lips, "I want everyone else you ever fuck to be jealous of the way you let me fuck you."
Something about your words, your request, perhaps your tone, sets him off again; you rake your nails lightly down his chest again and he arches up, swearing, almost breathless.
"Yes, fuck, yes," comes out alongside a breathless moan, "my Y/N, anything you want - please."
You paint him blue and purple and the deepest, prettiest red with hickeys, leaving him looking absolutely scandalous. Of course he returns the favour in the form of scratch marks up your back and his teeth almost drawing blood from your shoulder. When he comes it's with your mouth on his neck and his cock deep inside of you, holding you close, holding you steady, whispering incoherent praise into your ear. Always diligent, he doesn't move, doesn't pull out or away from you before his focus is on you, making sure you get off, delighting in watching you unravel on top of him.
In the afterglow, amid the sharing of a cigarette and catching of your breath, you apologise softly.
"What are you apologising for?" He immediately cracks a grin, "in fact, any time you ever start to get all worked up and mean like that, have me on speed dial -"
"I - no, Fi," you sighed, amused at his suggestion, though it was fading fast, "I just... try not to be jealous," there's faint notes of guilt now that you've come down from the adrenaline and endorphins of it all. Sitting against the headboard, you draw your knees up to your chest.
"I know," Felix says easily, sitting up beside you, resting his head against your shoulder, his hand on your knee, "I try too... I don't think I'm always that great at hiding it." Then, after a moment, his tone lightens, "I think this is why I don't want to tell people about us, I don't think I could begin to explain it in a way that makes sense." It gets you to laugh, leaning into him, tension and guilt easing.
"I thought it was the rush of sneaking around and lying to people."
"There's that too," he agreed with a chuckle. The two of you fall into easy silence as he takes a drag on the cigarette and hands it over. The afternoon is sticky-hot, especially in your room, curtains still half open but window shut. As you go to open it, not caring about potential onlookers in the twilight, past the sliver of your curtain, Felix speaks up.
"There's no version of me in your head? Not even a little bit rose-coloured-glasses tinted?" He grins at you, and you lay out on the bed, looking up at him through your lashes. After a moment of simply taking the moment in, you shake your head with a soft smile.
"I told you, I'm under no illusions about you, Fi."
"I think you're too good to me for that to be true."
"I want you as you are, dude," you shrug, as if it's the easiest truth in the world.
"As I am?" He wants to be sceptical but his tone and the look in his eyes betrays him. You've never heard him quite so soft you think, eyes wide and glassy and full of conflict and love; everyone wants him, everyone loves him, everyone wants to be him or be with him, he's reckoned with his reality a long time ago, even if he wasn't entirely conscious of it. Felix's life had been picked apart by everyone around him at the surface level for as long as he could remember, perhaps he'd thought that no-one would ever care to look deeper. Perhaps he'd gotten so used to it that he'd forgotten there was anything deeper.
"I want the Felix who can't keep a girlfriend for more than two months, and who's cheated on every single one of them with me," you start, wearing a grin despite his sudden frown, "I want the Felix who hugs and kisses strangers after just meeting them because he's bursting at the seams with affection, I want the Felix who won't admit that he sleeps better with someone next to him at night, and the Felix who recaps the books he's been reading to me like they're gossip. The Felix who uses people, and breaks hearts, who says he doesn't know he's doing it but I know you do," you laugh, sitting up on your knees and letting the blankets slide down your back as Felix looks up at you now with a fond kind of reverence, "I want the Felix that lights up every room he's in without even trying, who makes everyone around him feel like they're the only person in the world, and that same Felix who still shifts over, mid conversation with someone else, for me to sit down beside him without having to even ask, because you know we'll always come back to each other," you lean down, lips inches from his, burning intensity in your gaze as you take in the reverence in his eyes, "the Fi who fights for me, the Fi who loves that I'd ruin lives for him, my Felix -" You see the moment he can no longer hold himself back, arcing forward, moving from the headboard to be by you, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. For a long moment it's your mouth fitting perfectly against his, faint, desperate groan being pulled from the back of his throat as he takes your face in his hands, firm, warm, wanting, deepening the kiss.
"Some of those things were pretty shit," he laughed a little self consciously after the kiss breaks, both of you breathing heavy. In his eyes you can see the barest hint of conflict.
"People have said worse."
"And you got them expelled," he reminded with a faint smile, but again there's that conflict, "and they aren't you."
"You're my best mate," you laugh easily, "that shit, the good and the less good, makes you my Felix. Be pretty shit of me to want to chop and change who you are, you know?"
For a very long moment, you watch the way he slowly begins to smile, to take all your saying in drinking in this sun-drenched moment. Reaching out, he carefully touches your cheek.
"Say it again then," he prompts, sounding almost giddy, feather-light touches as if mapping your delicate features in this moment. For a brief second you're confused, barely angling your head to indicate as such before you can see his faint blush beneath his golden skin, creeping up his cheeks. When he laughs, almost self conscious, you realise, and grin back.
"You're a sap."
"Don't make me beg."
"My Felix."
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fangirlingpuggle · 17 days
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saw something about how if you want to understand a character write an aita post from their perspective so i thought of your au and this was born, this accurate?
prism pines au bill: aita for wanting to be present in my childrens lives? i (like a billion or smt? triangle) recently found out that my old partner (60, male) and i have two twelve year old twins from an experiment we did on karaoke night that i didn't know about until this summer when i went on a work trip that involved their uncle who they had been living with since they were born. i ended up making a bad impression on them at first and they didnt like me much so i left to regroup and see how they had been living, it was horrible. they were severely lacking in basic nuitrition (they werent even being fed teeth!) and they were getting into danger they were told they couldnt protect themselves from because they would have to use stuff they inherited from me to do so! my partner, who only started being present in their lives shortly after i met them has started insisting that i am a danger to the twins and has been putting up barriers to keep me from seeing them. i moved to the place where my kids and partner are and have one of the twins with me now, but the other ran off when i showed up after watching me and my partner have a bit of a fight, ive been sending people to look for him but hes a slippery one. in the meantime ive been trying to get my partner to see reason about how we should raise the kids together and bringing up all the things i could give him and them as well as bringing up plans on how to bond as a family but hes been really resistent to everything, aita?
HA! Love this.
I imagining Bill asking this to residents of Gravity Falls and when they say yes he makes them into part of his throne.
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lostloveletters · 2 months
Text
All That Heaven Will Allow (John Brady x OC)
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Summary:  We’ll fill this house with all the love / all that heaven will allow (AO3 link)
Note: This literally wouldn’t exist without @karasnonsense99, Woody and Brady’s biggest hypewoman and someone I’m so grateful to call a friend. This is the visual reference for the dad!Brady vibes that almost made me feel ill. So. Title comes from the Bruce Springsteen song which should surprise no one. Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: None besides some inevitable inaccuracies.
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“I’m glad we skipped the parade this year, it’s too hot out for her,” Woody said. She laid the newspaper she’d been fanning herself with on the kitchen table, watching adoringly as John cradled the baby in his arms, allowing her to wrap her chubby hand around one of his fingers.
“She’s only two months old. How has she gotten so big already?”
Woody folded her arms over her sensitive chest, her lips twitching up in a smile. “Guess.”
John grinned, nuzzling his nose into their infant daughter’s squishy cheek. “She’s got a healthy appetite.”
If Woody wasn’t sure she could fall any more in love with her husband, the day their daughter was born made her feel like Cupid got her straight in the heart. 
It’d been almost a year since she told John she was finally ready to have kids. For all of his prior eagerness, she thought he was a lunatic when he suggested they plan it. ‘So he’ll be born in the summer, when I can be home with you,’ he had said earnestly. Except he was a she, and she was born at the end of April, a Taurus who had her parents’ hearts wrapped around her tiny finger the moment she wailed at the world.
Happy, healthy, nothing short of perfect, they brought her home, and Woody felt relieved that the nurturing, maternal instinct that passed over her own mother was alive and well in her. 
John wasn’t the slightest bit disappointed their first child was a girl. He’d sing to her, make up soft, sweet little songs about Samantha, bounce her in his arms with the rhythm that came so naturally to him until her cries turned into bubbling laughter. The corners of his eyes would crinkle at the sound, and he’d start laughing too. Woody might as well have been in heaven.
Her parents never sang to her as a child. Stale air and empty silence composed the soundtrack of the Woodward residence—hardly a house, certainly never a home. A place where people slept and breathed and moved around but didn’t live.
It’d taken getting used to, being in a place that felt so warm and alive, love radiating from the floral wallpaper John’s brother helped them put up one weekend, the couch his mother bought for them when Woolworth’s was having a sale, the piano they found on a curb one afternoon and spent weeks fixing up until she could hear the sound of John playing from the other side of the house.
“The fireworks are gonna start soon,” Woody said, glancing at the clock on the wall, a wedding gift from one of his cousins.
He nodded, standing up from the kitchen table and passing Sammy to her mother. “I’ll throw the blanket over Blue’s cage and get some music playing.”
Out of all the pets they could’ve gotten, a parakeet probably wouldn’t have made anyone’s list. Upon moving into their first house, John graciously agreed that pet ownership could serve as the test run to assuage Woody’s fear of motherhood, specifically whether or not she even had the emotional capacity to care for something that relied on her so heavily to survive. Blue—a temporary name which ended up being not so temporary—fit right in with their noisy household. Whistled and chirped along to John’s music, and picked up an expletive or two from Woody, which was funny until Sammy came along.
The Fourth of July marked a little over two months since she’d given birth to Samantha Brady, and Woody no longer felt like the other shoe was going to drop and motherhood would end up being some big mistake she couldn’t handle. It certainly wasn’t easy. Woody worked at the garage as long as she physically could during the pregnancy, and John taught private music lessons after school and during the summer to make up for the gap in their income. Even then, the belt tightening meant less things like going to the movies or out to dinner, hardly feasible with an infant, anyway.
Typically, the parade in town started early to avoid the worst of the heat before it settled in, but she and John would end up spending so much time talking to other couples and families, people from their parish that they’d run into, both of them would be sweating by the time they got home in the afternoon. It was one of few holidays they didn’t join his family for, despite one of his uncles hosting what Woody had heard was one hell of a barbecue. 
Fireworks were a crapshoot, generally unwelcome on the Fourth, and the odd ones New Year’s Eve. Loud music and a little alcohol ended up being the solution, a house party for two, though adding a baby into the equation made their tried and true method more uncertain.
He joined them in the living room, having successfully tricked the parakeet into thinking night had already fallen. The first few times they’d done so, Woody felt bad for the poor bird, but she supposed there would be things she’d lie to Samantha about too, like Santa Claus and transubstantiation. 
“Alright Sammy, first song of the evening’s your pick,” he said, holding up three singles from their impressive record collection. It seemed silly at first, working that into their budget, but John’s students were always bringing up new music, and he liked to be in the know, found it easier to teach them songs they were interested in learning.
Sammy vaguely kicked toward one of the singles.
“What’d she choose?” he asked.
“The Louis Prima one.”
“Interesting.”
“She probably likes it because of the sleeve,” she said. “It’s bright blue and the other two are just plain.”
“She’s developing her own taste already.”
Woody laughed. “Just put the song on, Johnny.”
He did, dropping the needle on the 45 and taking her free hand to pull her in for a kiss. 
Two hours, half a dozen singles and LPs, and a diaper change later, the only indication of the fireworks outside had been the faint flashing through the curtains, hardly noticeable among their raging party of three. 
John declared a break after finishing his second glass of whiskey and leading a tango Woody practically tripped through, but she was absolutely thrilled when he dipped her at the end of the song and gave her a kiss. The break turned into him dozing off on the couch just before the roaring Latin record ended.
Woody switched over to the radio, setting the volume loud enough to drown out any fireworks, and took Sammy into her arms.
Slipping outside, she held the baby close as they watched the night sky light up red, white, and blue from the backyard. Sammy squealed when the first firework burst, her big eyes sparkling as the falling embers faded in the distance. She threw her little hands around in excitement until tugging on a thick lock of Woody’s hair.
“I know, baby. Aren’t they pretty?” Woody cooed. Her gaze was glued to the sky as the next few fireworks went off. “That’s where you came from, straight out of the sky to save me, just like your daddy,” she whispered, nuzzling her nose into her daughter’s wispy hair.
She pressed a kiss to her cheek and nearly laughed when she saw that Sammy was asleep. After watching one more firework go off, she went back inside. Unlike their daughter, John stirred awake when the back door closed.
“There you are,” he mumbled.
“Would you believe she fell asleep out there?” Woody said, her voice carrying softly over the sound of the radio.
He yawned, sitting up as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “I can believe it.”
“No, you stay. I’ll put her up and be right back.”
“Not without letting me give her a kiss goodnight.”
Woody easily conceded, a small smile on her face as John kissed Sammy’s forehead. 
She brought Sammy into her room, carefully placing her in her crib. There had been plenty of sleepless nights since the baby had been born, Woody taking on the bulk of them since she wasn’t working, but sometimes, John couldn’t sleep anyway, and the following morning she’d find him asleep in the armchair in the living room, baby in his arms and the radio playing low. When she’d wake him up to take Samantha, she tried to make sure coffee was already brewing—it was one of few things in the kitchen she could do well.
When she returned to the living room, he had his pipe between his lips, smoke slowly rising above his head.
“She doing okay?” he asked.
He reached out for her, and when she put her hand in his, he pulled her onto his lap. Her laughter mixed with a shriek of shock, a joyous howl that pierced the air as she situated herself. She glanced toward the stairs, and hearing nothing from their daughter, said, “Absolutely perfect,” and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “How about you?”
“Couldn’t be better,” he said. “Beautiful wife, healthy daughter, and a bird that knows how to whistle along to ‘When the Saints Come Marching In.’”
“Really though, you’re good?”
“Yeah, I am, sweetheart.” He was silent for a few moments as he puffed on his pipe. “She was worth the wait.”
“So were you. I didn’t know I could be this happy.”
He smiled. “Me either.”
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sidekick-hero · 3 months
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(steddie | 7.1k | explicit | for @steddie-week day 2: hands | AO3)
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Tags: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Eddie Munson Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Pining, Getting Together, future Eddie Munson, Threesome - M/M/M, Steve gets it on with two Eddies, Dom/sub Undertones, Sub Steve Harrington, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Hand Jobs, Crack Treated Seriously, Self-cest (they're both there for Steve but well you know how it is), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
After the events of March '86, Eddie pines for his new friend, the former king of Hawkins High. Too scared to make a move, he has resigned himself to a life as Steve's friend and nothing more. That is, until one hot summer day, a naked guy appears out of nowhere in Steve's bedroom. The naked guy is him from the future, and he says he's here to help Eddie pull his head out of his ass. It turns out that he and Steve are a happy couple in the future. And as if that wasn't enough, he also offers to teach Eddie how to properly fulfill Stevie's needs. Sexy shenanigans ensue.
Snippet under the cut
There's a loud, almost deafening crack that cuts Eddie off mid-sentence. They both jump, scrambling to their feet, their heads whipping around to find the source of the sound.
He can't believe his eyes at what he sees, his brain refusing to register the sight and make sense of it. Because there, in the middle of the room, stands —
Himself.
Eddie Munson.
It shouldn’t be possible. It can’t be possible.
But there he stands, naked like the day he was born. Same height, same hair, same eyes. It’s his face looking back at him alright. But the longer Eddie stares at him, the more differences he notices. This Eddie has a bit more bulk, fills his frame more. The hair is a bit shorter and there are new tattoos on his skin, like the dagger on his rips or the dragon on his thigh. But the rest? Looks exactly like him.
It can't be him, though. This must be some kind of Upside Down trick to lure them into another round of interdimensional fun, and Eddie is having none of it. Not again, nuh-uh.
“Who the hell are you?” he asks harshly as Steve maneuvers his body to block him from…himself?
The near-mirror image in front of him snorts. “I know it took us three tries to graduate, but seriously?”
"Screw you, asshole. Just because you look like me doesn't mean you are me. If the government can open portals to other dimensions, they can very well find an Eddie Munson look-alike."
"Okay, Mr. Smarty-Pants. If I were just a look-alike, would I know that your first crush was Kermit the Frog?"
"Oh my God," Eddie and Steve say in unison, but in very different tones. While Eddie sounds horrified, Steve sounds delighted.
Eddie quickly catches himself, though, because he never told another soul about his unfortunate and very short-lived crush on Kermit. There's no way this guy would know about it unless he was either a Vecna-like mind reader or Eddie himself.
"Okay, let's say you're telling the truth. If you are me, then why are you here? Is it a warning? Has the Upside Down reopened? Did you come from the future to warn us?" Eddie sees Steve tense up out of the corner of his eye, as scared as he is at the possibility that their fight is not over after all. They can't go through another nightmare like that, they just can't.
The Eddie in front of him waves his hand in a casual gesture before sitting down at the foot of the bed, still very much naked. "No, nothing like that. Vecna's toast and we haven't had any trouble since." He keeps glancing back at Steve and it sends a cold shiver down Eddie's spine. The man looks like he's sizing Steve up for dinner.
"Okay..." Steve starts, his brow furrowed in that cute puppy way he has that never fails to make Eddie's heart swell with affection. "Then why?”
His future self’s smile turns feral as he locks eyes with Steve, and Eddie can’t help but look back and forth between them, eyes widening at what’s happening in front of him. “Just wanted to spend more time with you, Stevie.”
Read the rest on AO3
Special shout out to @legitcookie without whom this wouldn't exist. We started this ages ago and it was sitting all sad in my drafts until steddie week gave me an excuse to rewrite it a bit and finish it.
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Note
Morbius (2022)
\[♪♪♪\]
\[WIND WHISTLING\]
\[BIRDS CHIRPING\]
\[THUNDER RUMBLING IN DISTANCE\]
\[WATER DRIPS ECHOING\]
\[BATS SKITTERING\]
\[HELICOPTER WHIRRING\]
\[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY IN SPANISH\]
We shouldn’t be here when it gets dark.
Set the trap at the mouth of the cave, please.
\[MEN SPEAKING IN SPANISH\]
\[WINCES\]
PILOT: You need a doctor?
\[CHUCKLES SOFTLY\]
I am a doctor.
It’s impressive, don’t you think?
Vampire bats weigh almost nothing, but they can down a creature nearly ten times their size.
\[FLIES BUZZING\]
Wow.
What are you using as bait?
You volunteering?
Leaving.
\[TRAP CLANKS\]
Pay me now.
Before the sun goes down.
You throw in that bushcrafter on your belt and we have a deal.
\[♪♪♪\]
\[GROANS SOFTLY\]
\[ALL CHITTERING\]
\[SCREECHES\]
\[BATS SCREECHING\]
\[SHOUTS IN SPANISH\]
\[YELLING IN SPANISH\]
Come on.
\[BELL TOLLING\]
\[STUDENTS LAUGHING, CHATTERING\]
Move!
\[TICKING\]
\[CAR HORN HONKS\]
NICHOLAS: Should be able to take better care of you here.
\[CAR DOOR CLOSES, CAR DRIVES AWAY\]
Everyone’s here to help you.
Michael, this is Lucian. Lucian, Michael.
Michael knows more about this place than I do.
\[WHISPERS\] Play nice.
LUCIAN: Hello.
Hello, Milo.
My name’s Lucian.
The person who was here before was Milo.
No.
He was also the new Milo.
And before him was the other new Milo.
I don’t even remember the first Milo.
How long have you been here?
Long as I can remember.
\[MACHINE BEEPS AND WHIRS\]
And you’re still not cured?
There is no cure.
There’s something missing from our DNA.
Like a piece of a puzzle.
And until they find it, the only way to stay alive is an oil change three times a day.
What would you do if you could be normal?
Just for an hour?
I don’t think about it.
Hey, look at the freaks! Look at them!
\[STUDENTS CHATTERING, LAUGHING\]
Best not to be outside when school gets out.
Like the original Spartans, we are the few against the many.
\[BEEPING\]
Milo?
Milo?
\[ALERT BUZZING\]
Nurse?
\[♪♪♪\]
\[WHISPERS\] Okay…
\[BEEPS AND WHIRS\]
Lucian.
Lucian!
With one of these?
It took a team of scientists to build that machine and you fixed it with a ballpoint pen?
There’s a school for gifted children in New York.
I think that I could get them to agree to cover your tuition and provide private care to help manage your condition.
Somewhere you could study, learn, hone your skills.
You have a gift, Michael.
I don’t think I could forgive myself if I saw it go to waste.
MICHAEL: “Dear Milo, this isn’t goodbye. I’m gonna find a cure for us, so we can be cranky old men someday. Your friend, Michael.
P.S. You shouldn’t have unfolded this. Now you’ll never get it back together. See you this summer.”
No.
\[STUDENTS CHATTERING\]
“Dear Milo…”
\[ALL LAUGH\]
Please, can I have my letter back?
What?
Please, can I have my letter?
Okay. Here.
\[LAUGHS\]
Please. Ah!
\[SHOUTS\] Please!
\[BOYS LAUGHING\]
Please!
\[YELLS\]
Stop.
\[GROANING\]
\[BOYS GRUNTING\]
\[NICHOLAS YELLS IN SPANISH\]
Go away!
\[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE\]
Let me have a look. Let me have a look.
\[SCREAMS\]
He tried to steal my letter!
Milo, Milo, stop.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
\[CRYING\]
What about Milo?
I’ll look after Milo.
He needs me.
NICHOLAS: Michael Morbius completed his doctorate by 19 and quickly established himself as the world’s leading authority on blood-borne diseases.
His development of artificial blood has saved more lives than penicillin.
Michael Morbius, please step forward to acknowledge the receipt of your prize from His Majesty, the King of Sweden.
\[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING\]
\[TRUMPETERS PLAY FANFARE\]
ANNA: I can’t believe you dissed the king of Sweden.
The king and the queen, their loyal subjects, all of Scandinavia and the entire scientific community.
Yeah, but who does that?
Well, Anna, we both know I have issues.
But, hey, I kept the program.
\[TONE SOUNDS, THEN WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY OVER PA\]
\[KNOCKS\] There you are.
Hey, Dr. Bancroft.
Hey, Anna.
We going to play?
Oh, I don’t think so.
See, now that Dr. Morbius is back, maybe you should try losing for a while, see how that feels.
MICHAEL: Not gonna happen.
Michael.
Uh, yes?
You got a minute?
Of course.
New one. For your collection.
\[WHISPERS\] Dr. Morbius is in trouble.
I’m in trouble.
MARTINE: “I can’t accept a prize for the by-product of a failed experiment.”
Lab 1.
Front page, “American Scientist Rejects Nobel Prize.”
You know that people actually like writing checks to Nobel laureates?
Makes them feel better about their investment.
It would help if you stuck around long enough to cash them.
\[GROANS\]
You’re pushing yourself too hard.
\[SIGHS\]
Does our generous benefactor, Milo, know what you’re actually doing here?
What am I actually doing here?
Remixing human DNA with bat DNA.
I have no idea what you’re…
Talking about?
Is anything ringing a bell?
No bells ringing. Uh…
Okay. Maybe this will jog your memory.
MICHAEL: I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.
\[BATS SCREECHING\]
That is a…
It’s a fish tank.
Hmm.
Like, for… flying mammals.
Oh, I see.
Some friends I brought back from Costa Rica.
So when were you gonna tell me?
More importantly, how did you get my pass code?
It’s the first six digits of pi backwards.
It’s your password for everything.
You should change that.
You could lose your license for this.
I’m not gonna need it much longer, doctor.
You, on the other hand, will.
You know, there’s something called “plausible deniability.”
You should be thanking me.
These are the only mammals on Earth that have evolved to feed exclusively on blood.
So in order to drink it, these bats produce saliva that contains unique anticoagulants.
So your theory is, if you can successfully splice vampire genes into your DNA, it would allow your body to produce those same anticoagulants.
MICHAEL: Yes.
It would be a cure.
At what cost?
The fusion of different species is a legacy we already carry in our bodies.
Viruses insinuating their nucleic acid onto our own over hundreds of thousands of years.
That’s evolution. This is different.
I don’t think it is.
We have to push the boundaries, take the risks.
Without that, there is no science.
No medicine.
No breakthroughs at all.
\[MACHINE BEEPING\]
\[CHIMES, THEN BEEPING SOFTLY\]
Okay.
\[RECORDER BEEPS\]
Test subject for cell combination 117.
\[MOUSE SQUEAKING\]
\[BEEPS\]
Come on, come on, come on.
\[SQUEALING\]
\[RECORDER BEEPS\]
\[SIGHS\] Test subject 117 has resulted in…
failure.
\[RECORDER BEEPS\]
I don’t wanna see you get hurt.
I should’ve died years ago, Martine.
Why am I still alive if not to fix this?
To save my best friend, Milo.
And everyone else like us.
Not like this.
Dr. Morbius, it’s Anna.
\[♪♪♪\]
\[MONITORS BEEPING RAPIDLY\]
\[PANTING\]
Her temperature’s spiking, and her kidneys are shutting down.
We have to induce a coma before she has a stroke.
A hundred milligrams of propofol.
NURSE: Sure.
MARTINE: Now.
Come on.
MICHAEL: It’s okay.
It’s okay. We got you.
There you go.
There you go.
Thank you, nurse.
We’re gonna let you sleep a bit.
Take a nice long nap.
\[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY\]
\[SQUEAKING\]
Michael.
What?
It worked.
\[♪♪♪\]
\[CLOCK CHIMES\]
Dr. Michael Morbius.
\[IN NORWEGIAN\] Some crippled guy’s here to see the Boss.
MILO: Michael! Get over here!
\[IN NORWEGIAN\] As long as I am a cripple you’ll be fine.
♪ Stop dreaming Of the quiet life… ♪
You’re late. I was trying out this new thing called “working.”
Oh, yeah. I don’t believe I’m familiar with the word.
I don’t believe you are.
So, what’s up with the goon squad?
Oh, I won a hand of cards against some Russian gentlemen.
Apparently they found his luck improbable.
There you are.
More like impossible.
So, doctor, how is our favorite patient?
Still determined to make his short life even shorter?
Yes, I am. Anyway, you’re one to talk.
You look terrible. Look at the state of you.
Says the man wearing… What is that, a quilt?
Oh, sorry. I didn’t get the memo to dress for a funeral.
\[LAUGHS\]
\[CHUCKLES\]
Right. I will see you later.
And you… my door is always open.
We miss you at Horizon.
We could use your mind.
I’ll leave you two to your fun.
Bye, Nicholas.
I have some good news.
Let’s go for a walk.
How’s Martine doing these days?
Dr. Bancroft? She is, uh, overqualified, outperforming, brilliant as usual.
And a royal pain in my ass.
But she’s keeping me honest for the most part. Why do you ask?
Eh, no reason. Just haven’t seen you in forever.
I wondered if she had something to do with it.
Aw, I miss you too.
But, yes, she has been working with me to save our lives.
I could ask her to stop if you like, put us out of our misery.
Just don’t do something stupid and go and fall in love because, believe you me, there is absolutely no cure for that.
Says the guy who knows absolutely nothing about the subject.
Not true.
I read about it in books all the time.
Books, really? Wow.
Yeah.
Or romantic comedies. The point is…
The point is, love is not on the cards for us, my friend.
Listen, if you start quoting The Notebook to me, I am going to stop and hobble very slowly in the opposite direction.
\[LAUGHS\]
Throw it!
MICHAEL: I’m close, Milo.
I can feel it.
A cure.
It’s finally possible.
Seriously?
Highly experimental.
Ethically questionable.
Very, very, very expensive.
I knew that was coming.
And not exactly legal.
Oh, and it has to be done in international waters.
\[LAUGHS\]
You were always expensive.
Is it dangerous? Should I be worried?
You want me to lie to you?
That would be nice, yes.
It’s a walk in the park on a sunny day.
Oh, yeah, that bad, eh?
Listen.
We don’t have much time left.
This could be our last chance.
So, what do you say?
We go out with a fight?
\[SIGHS\]
Yeah.
You with me?
Till the day you die, brother.
Till the day you die. You’ll have everything you need.
We’re the original Spartans, mate.
The few against the many.
Yeah.
\[♪♪♪\]
\[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO\]
You know, I’m sure you’re cheating.
No. No, you’re not.
What you got?
MICHAEL: Putting another one in the oven.
Wish me luck.
\[CHIMING\]
The moment of truth.
\[CHIMES AND BEEPS\]
Success, Martine. We did it.
It’s holding together.
\[RECORDER BEEPS\]
Test 243.
\[INHALES DEEPLY\]
Human trials.
\[RECORDER BEEPS\]
\[EXHALES SHARPLY\]
I’m glad it’s you.
Had a lot of other suitors, didn’t you?
Yeah.
You know, the whole near-death thing is very, very chic.
I read it in Cosmo.
\[LAUGHS\]
Do they still make Cosmo? I don’t know.
I know it’s just what you always wanted.
Could be a collector’s item one day, you never know.
This better not be my last one.
I know this is painful, but you got it.
\[GROANS SOFTLY\]
That’s it. Bingo.
Right there.
\[SHUSHES\]
\[GROANS\]
Almost there, almost there.
\[EXHALES SHARPLY\]
\[SHUSHES\]
It’s all right. Come on. Come on.
There you go.
\[GROANS SOFTLY\]
You can buckle me up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You all right? Great.
\[♪♪♪\]
\[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES\]
I call.
Bringing out the big guns.
Let’s go again.
I’ll be back. I’m gonna check on the doctor.
All right.
\[MONITOR BEEPING\]
\[DOOR CLANGS OPEN\]
You shouldn’t be down here.
I can be wherever I want, nurse.
It’s “doctor,” actually.
\[SNICKERS\]
I’m afraid you’re gonna have to leave.
Doctor. Sure, I can see it.
But, uh, you’re still the help, just like me.
Wow.
You can tell all that by just looking at me, huh?
Here I thought you were just another jacked-up dumb shit.
\[LAUGHS\]
Get out.
\[ALERT BLARING\]
Michael?
\[GUN COCKS\]
\[METAL CLANKS\]
Michael?
Where is he?
\[METAL CLANKS\]
Don’t move.
\[ROARS\]
What the hell?
Everybody down to the lab now.
\[WALKIE BEEPS\]
Roger that.
\[GRUNTS\]
Don’t shoot!
\[ALARM BLARING\]
Michael!
\[FOX GROANING\]
Stop!
\[GROWLS\]
Michael.
\[GROWLS\]
It’s just me.
\[ALARM BLARING\]
It’s just me.
\[POUNDS ON GLASS\]
Michael, please.
Michael, stop!
Stop! Please!
You’re hurting yourself! Stop!
Hey! Step back! Move!
Stop. Put that gun down…
Move!
\[GROWLING\]
\[GROANS\]
\[SCREAMS\]
\[YELLS\]
Shit. Close it! Close it!
What the hell is that thing?
\[♪♪♪\]
\[ROARS\]
Fall back! Fall back!
Shit.
MAN 1: Let’s move.
MAN 2: Go, go, go!
\[GROANS\]
Johnny!
\[GRUNTING\]
\[SCREAMS\]
\[MORBIUS GROWLS\]
Get out of here!
MAN \[OVER RADIO\]: Sweeping Level 3.
Jason, come in.
Jason. Jason?
\[SCREAMS\]
Oh, shit.
Son of a bitch!
\[GROANS\]
Shit! Oh!
Oh, shit!
\[HIGH-PITCHED SCRAPING\]
\[GROANS\]
\[GAGGING\]
\[MORBIUS GROWLS\]
\[PANTING\]
\[SCREAMS\]
\[ROARS\]
\[GASPS\]
\[♪♪♪\]
\[BREATHING HEAVILY\]
Martine.
Martine.
\[HEART BEATING STEADILY\]
\[WHISPERS\] Oh, my God.
\[VOMITS\]
\[GROANS\]
\[BREATHING HEAVILY\]
\[FEEDBACK OVER RADIO\]
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
This is the LCV Murnau.
Call letters 3-X5Y.
We are 13 nautical miles off the coast of Long Island.
Request immediate airlift.
Repeat, this is the LCV Murnau.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
\[♪♪♪\]
It’s up here to the right.
\[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY\]
FBI Agent Stroud. Can we have the room, please?
RODRIGUEZ: You heard the man. Can we please have the room?
If you could start exiting, that’d be fantastic.
Well, we haven’t had anything this good since that thing in San Francisco.
Uh, eight bodies, running IDs right now, but apparently they all shop at the same mercenary supply store.
Uh, one survivor, a Dr. Martine Bancroft.
Can we talk to her?
If she wakes up.
Uh, she fell down and hit her head, apparently.
Anything else?
Someone made a mayday call.
Not Dr. Bancroft.
Nope.
It was a male, didn’t identify himself, then wiped all the surveillance footage.
SIMON: He grew a conscience and jumped overboard?
It happens. Oh, and get this.
All the bodies that you’re looking at are nearly drained of their blood.
So, what hunts at night and drinks human blood?
You’re gonna love this.
REPORTER: Early this morning an unmanned cargo ship was discovered near the eastern tip of Long Island with multiple bodies on board.
Authorities are not making any comment at this time.
But there are reports of one survivor, and we have learned from a high-ranking Coast Guard official that the vessel was flying a Panamanian flag when it drifted in from international…
What’s happened?
Some kind of accident.
How’s your pain today? On a one to ten?
Eleven.
\[TONE SOUNDS, THEN MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA\]
\[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY AND VENTILATOR HISSING\]
\[TONE SOUNDS, THEN MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA\]
\[WHISPERS\] I’m sorry.
You’re going to be okay.
\[♪♪♪\]
here you all go!! also I did have to read though this whole thing to make sure it wasn’t anything bad because I actually didn’t know what Morbius was lmao and idk if this is even the whole script (also i’m so incredibly sorry to everyone…. including myself, bc my phone is glitching so badly trying to post this)
460 notes · View notes
cheonsarchive · 1 year
Text
Sunghoon | Unspoken
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Pairing: Sunghoon x Fem!Reader
Genre: College!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive
Featuring: the rest of ENHYPEN, LE SSERAFIM, TXT, aespa
Warnings: Cursing, suggestive content, mentions of/implied sex (no explicit smut), reader is COMPLICATED (I'm sorry lmao), mentions of death
Summary: You expected your summer break to be all relaxed and cozy, that was until your best friend decided to confess to you out of the blue. Cue a chaotic summer full of complicated feelings, denial, miscommunication and even more pining for each other than before. Bonus: Jake giving decent advice for once!
Word Count: 18k (what)
Playlist: Ruelle - War of Hearts, Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo - Close, Lana Del Rey - Born To Die, Lostboycrow - Powers, Chase Atlantic - Meddle About, Aquilo - Losing You, Harry Styles - Falling
Author's Note: I rose from the dead to bring you a long awaited Sunghoon oneshot! I'm not too happy with it actually, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to Sunghoon and I feel like I can't reach his standard anyway, so whatever lol. The first confession scene was inspired by Little Women (recommendation!), because it was perfect and needed to be reproduced in an ENHYPEN context. I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️
If you want to be tagged in future ENHYPEN scenarios, let me know!
Masterlist
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The ring of the bell that announced the end of the lesson made you slump in your seat in relief. You never anticipated the familiar buzzing noise more than today, the last class before the summer break being over making a wave of excitement rush through your body.
This semester had been absolute hell and you couldn’t wait for the break to start to be able to live with an empty head, at least for a couple of weeks, before you had to start studying again. You managed to hand in your last paper the day before, so you could officially call it a day once your last class was over and leave campus as fast as possible. Your friend Yunjin wasn’t as lucky, though.
“I’m so jealous of you, I really need to work on my time management.” Yunjin huffs in disappointment, still having to hand in two papers before she can start her summer break. You smiled apologetically at her.
“No need to be though, you’ll go to Italy soon and have the greatest time sipping Aperol Spritz in the sun while I will rot here without you,” you pointed out.
“Don’t say that, you will probably chill at Sunghoon’s pool every day anyway. Plus, we’re gonna have the road trip coming up at the end of the break, remember? That’s gonna be so much fun!” she chimed.
Ah yes, the road trip. Your friend group has decided to go to the countryside for a few days at the end of each summer break to detox once more from the city (and university) life before the next semester starts. It was Yunjin’s idea and ever since it was planned she kept talking about it nonstop.
“We’ll see about Sunghoon’s pool. If Yeji is being annoying again, we might have to move somewhere else. Sunghoon has been complaining about how she has recently become really obsessed with this one boy at school and wants to throw a pool party to invite him,” you laughed, reminiscing the phone call you had with Sunghoon the other day where he kept complaining for an hour straight how annoying it is to have a younger sibling going through puberty. When you had told him that he was like that as well once, he firmly denied it, being his usual stubborn self.
“She’s growing so fast! I wonder how protective Sunghoon will be once she actually starts dating.” Yunjin wiggles her eyebrows at you. You let out a dry chuckle in response, imagination running wild about how whiny he would be, pretending to be cold and scary when he was actually a soft, loving brother to Yeji.
“He will be the absolute worst.” You shook your head in amusement. You knew Sunghoon like the back of your hand, so you knew that he would absolutely freak out if a boy dared to hurt his little sister. It was probably a natural response, one you wouldn’t know as you don’t have any siblings, but he was exaggerating a bit. Sometimes you wondered if he just wanted to fit into the overprotective big brother trope.
“Hello ladies! What are we talking about?” Heeseung greeted after suddenly walking next to you. You smiled back at him and could see a familiar relief in his eyes, one that was probably coating all of your faces. Next semester would be Heeseung’s last one in college, so the pressure was on.
“Just how Sunghoon is going be the worst big brother once his sister starts dating.” Yunjin shrugged and Heeseung broke out in a chuckle because he definitely agrees. You almost felt bad for shading Sunghoon like that, but you enjoyed teasing him about it.
“Do I even want to know how this topic came up? There is more than enough time to shit-talk Sunghoon later, we should be discussing how excited we are for the summer break instead!” Heeseung jumped up and down and you realized just how giddy he was because he rarely acts this hyper.
“We were! It’s not that exciting for me though, because I��m not going to travel like you two,” you defended, making both of them exchange glances and scoff in unison.
“Please, you wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon anyway. It’s not like you don’t enjoy spending every day with him during summer break.” Yunjin laughed and you glared it her.
It was true, though. Sunghoon and you were inseparable like pen and paper ever since you were in middle school. You spent the majority of time at each other’s homes, to the point where you wondered which place you should actually call your home, his or your own? But during exam season, you usually spend less time with each other because you’re too busy studying. So it has become your ritual to spend the beginning of summer break together to make up for the lost time. It was easy too because that was usually the time everyone else travelled anyway.
The fact that you never grew tired of each other really amazed everyone around you. Rumors started spreading quickly that you might be secretly dating, or at least crushing on each other. You’ve always confidently turned down such rumors, but especially Heeseung and Yunjin persisted that something was going on between you two and loved teasing you about it.
“If it’s about what I think it is, I don’t want to hear it.” You warned, seeing the suggestive look in their eyes. You grew tired of always having to defend your friendship with Sunghoon. Maybe because deep down, there was some truth to it.
Sunghoon and you fit each other like a glove. You always knew what the other one thinks without having to articulate it, you can talk about everything without feeling judged and you balance each other out with your skills and knowledge.
It already started in middle school. Sunghoon was more skilled in creative subjects whereas you were good in trickier ones like mathematics or chemistry. You started tutoring each other quickly, which helped both of you get through high school. He helped you with your art projects whereas you explained his math homework to him.
Sunghoon was there during many difficult times as well. He was there when you experienced your first heartbreak, and he comforted you when your grandpa died who you cherished so deeply. Even years later, when you confessed that you’re still struggling with his death, Sunghoon was quick to drop everything and come over to you to help you get through it.
And if that wasn’t enough, Sunghoon also grew incredibly handsome as time passed. Puberty really turned him into the best version of himself and it was no wonder many girls at university swooned over him. So really, wasn’t he perfect boyfriend material?
“No.” You turned to Yunjin with a surprised face, confusion written over your features. “You finally need to confront your feelings. Even a blind person can see that the connection you have is more than just friendship.”
You rolled your eyes. There was nothing to confront in your opinion, which made you really question why they couldn’t just drop the topic. Though you sometimes wondered if the longing gaze from Sunghoon held more than you thought.
“Yeah whatever. Call me when you’ve handed in your papers!” You announced your departure, hugging Yunjin extra tight since you probably won’t see her again before her trip overseas. You promised to keep in touch before you separated from your friends to get on the bus to Sunghoon’s house. He didn’t have classes today, so he slept in and waited at home, promising you to celebrate the beginning of summer break with fresh watermelon.
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“Lord have mercy.” You said with eyes as big as the watermelon in front of you. Sunghoon smiled cheekily, proudly presenting his purchase from the market. He posed like a model, and you slapped his arm playfully.
“That must have cost you a fortune.” You said feeling guilty, head dropping slightly. Sunghoon let out a tut at that.
“Don’t worry about it. Celebrating summer break is definitely worth it and much needed. I have to distract myself from wanting to curse at Professor Yoon.” Sunghoon exclaimed, the last part making you giggle quietly.
He expertly cut the watermelon in triangles and handed you a piece before sitting down opposite from you on the terrace. The sun had been cooking you and you wondered whether you will really survive a day at the pool. You really enjoyed spending time at Sunghoon’s house because of his big pool, but it stops being enjoyable once the temperatures hit a certain degree mark. The watermelon was not just needed as a way of celebrating, but also as a refreshment.
Once you took the first bite, you sighed in satisfaction, making Sunghoon suppress a laugh. You looked at him with a grim expression and cheeks stuffed like a squirrel.
“What?”
“Nothing, sounds like you really needed that one too. And you look cute with your mouth full.” He said, mimicking how your cheeks must have looked to him.
Yunjin and Heeseung might have classified that as flirting, but you knew Sunghoon was just bickering with you. He dropped comments like that from time to time, knowing you would always react with an annoyed expression.
“So, how is Yeji’s dating life going?” you taunted, trying to change the topic as you remembered the conversation you had with Yunjin and Heeseung earlier. Sunghoon’s smile dropped instantly and he groaned in annoyance.
“Don’t remind me. I told her to stay away from that prick but she is persistent.” He elaborated despite not wanting to have this conversation.
“You don’t even know him and call him a prick!” you laughed at your best friend being unreasonable, almost choking on your watermelon slice in the process. Sunghoon fixed you with a glare.
“I don’t have to know him to know he’s an idiot.” He defended but you could only raise a brow at him in response.
“Okay, you boy expert. You must know better.” You fake-praised but he brushed you off, taking another bite from his watermelon slice.
“I just want the best for my sister.” He said matter-of-factly, words almost unintelligible due to him chewing on his watermelon.
“I know, but you need to relax a little bit. Let her experience her first heartbreak if necessary and focus on your own miserable love life instead.” You joked, but Sunghoon grew tense upon hearing the second half of your sentence. He looked at you through his lashes, the way you acted completely unbothered by what you had just said irking him.
Once you finished eating you decided it would be too hot to stay outside, so you went to Sunghoon’s room to kill time. You plopped onto his bed while he was sorting some laundry, talking about everything and nothing. Unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon seemed stiff since earlier. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but you knew something was up with him today. It was like he was contemplating something.
For some reason, the topic of dating wouldn’t escape you today. Some time into the conversation, you drifted off to Yunjin’s boy escapades, laughing at the ridiculous stories she had told you.
You remembered Yunjin hooking up with that one guy from calculus, you guessed his name was Soobin, almost losing her virginity in a broom closet if it wasn’t for the janitor to catch them. She dropped him the moment she saw him drag another girl in said broom closet, able to imagine what was probably going on in there since she had first-hand experience. She never disclosed whether the janitor caught those two as well and you were oddly curious.
She started swiping on Tinder afterwards, meeting up with a guy whose name slipped from your memory, but you certainly remember the chaos that unfolded once she found out he was actually cheating on his girlfriend with her. For some reason, she was gravitating towards weird boys and she blamed it on them being Korean after a while.
So came Yunjin’s trip to Italy. It was honestly no surprise when she announced that she wants to start her “hot girl summer” experience with it. She started complaining about the lack of good-natured men around your campus and how she wants to try dating someone European. You started to question the intentions of her trip. Was it to relax and enjoy the Italian scenery, or was it to enjoy the Italian ‘scenery’?
“Maybe we should start our own hot girl and hot boy summer instead of being glued together all the time,” you fantasized absentmindedly, just the thought of it making you chuckle. You really weren’t the person to hit up strangers, and neither was he. Sunghoon tensed at your words, stopping in his tracks. His back was turned to you, but you could tell what you said stirred something in him. You patiently waited for his response, and he bit his lip, contemplating what to say.
“No, I don’t think that would be good.” he said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. His breathing halted the moment you suggested getting to know other people.
“Why is that? I think you need to let go of the mysterious handsome guy image and finally get laid again.” you laughed, slightly confused by his changing demeanor.
“I don’t want to hook up with random girls.” He stated. At first, you didn’t think much of it. Sunghoon never seemed that interested in dating. He did have a short fling with a girl named Eunchae when he entered college, but it ended with a lot of tears and refusal to meet someone new. He tried to hook up here and there, but that stopped after a while too and you figured he might want to wait for a real girlfriend, not just some one-night stands with strangers.
It didn’t strike you how serious he was being about this. So, when he turned around to look at you, the atmosphere in the room shifted. His gaze held something you had never seen before. His gaze held so much, in fact, that it made you nervous. And like many times before, Sunghoon didn’t need to speak up for you to know what he meant. But unlike many times before, what he was thinking made your blood run cold.
“No.” you immediately blurted, eyes going wide in shock.
“Y/N, listen.” He rushed out once you started to get up from the bed.
“No, no. Sunghoon, please don’t.” you tried to shield from him, hoping it was all a misunderstanding. But things like misunderstandings weren’t in your code.
“Y/N it’s no use. We finally need to talk about this.”
“I think I’m going to be sick, I better go home,” you said, feeling the sudden urge to flee from the situation. You almost sprinted to the door and Sunghoon tried to block you from leaving his room, but you pushed him away in panic. As stubborn as he is, Sunghoon followed you suit, and you were glad that you two were alone at his house right now, because you wouldn’t want Yeji or his parents to overhear this conversation.
“Y/N please listen to me. I’ve started liking you a while ago already and I never said anything because I thought it wasn’t mutual. But sometimes I-… I just-… I got the feeling that we might have a chance as something more than friends. T-that you might want this too. I’ve waited so long for you to make a move and prove that I wasn’t imagining things and that you feel the same way for me. But it never happened, and I just can’t go on like this. I need you to know, okay?”
Sunghoon rambled so fast you almost couldn’t catch up with him, he blurted all that while you tried to get out of his house as quickly as possible. He kept going while you practically ran down the stairs, picking up your shoes and sliding into them. Before you turned the door knob of his front door, you turned around to look at him again. And it was a big mistake.
Sunghoon was wearing the most desperate expression you had ever witnessed. The fact that he just confessed to you made your stomach turn. You even noticed how his eyes turned glassy, was he crying? Disbelief was written over your face and all you could do was shake your head and say “No.” once more.
Something broke inside of Sunghoon when he became conscious of the fact that you were rejecting him at this moment. He mustered up the courage to tell you how he felt because everyone he had confined in told him you like him too and that he should finally tell you how he really feels. So, not only did he feel crushed by your rejection, but also by the backstab of his friends.
“Y/N I always thought we worked so well together, so I never understood why we couldn’t be more. Am I… Am I not good enough? I-is that the problem? If there is something I can change, let me know and I’ll-“
“Oh my God, Sunghoon, no. You’re literally perfect. I’m so grateful to have you by my side and I couldn’t be more thankful for all the times you comforted me and helped me to get out of trouble. You are honest and funny and- and you are committed, and I love you. But just not the way you want me to. I am sorry.” You interrupted him, feeling your eyes sting with tears, mirroring his. Sunghoon choked at your words. You realized at that moment that you haven’t seen him cry in ages. And to be the reason he was crying made you feel terrible.
“Please tell me why. I don’t understand.” He begged, sounding absolutely miserable while a tear managed to escape and run down his cheek slowly.
“I don’t know Sunghoon. I just don’t. We can’t ruin our friendship like this-”
“Who said this is ruining our friendship? Maybe we weren’t meant to be just friends in the first place!”
“Yes we were!” you snapped back at him, anger starting to bubble up inside of you, “Yes we were,” you repeated, more calmly this time, “don’t make this something it isn’t. Please.”
This was the moment you decided that you had to get out of there immediately. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore, the fact that he expected an answer from you. You were overwhelmed with the whole situation and couldn’t think straight, so your adrenaline rush decided for flight instead of fight. You quickly turned the door knob and rushed out of his home, leaving him behind.
“Y/N, wait!” was his last attempt to keep you by his side, but he was met with a door being slammed in his face instead. He stared at his front door in disbelief, trying to process what had just unfolded. How he ruined everything. Sunghoon wanted to hit himself for speaking up, he figured that he should have just stayed quiet instead. But it was eating at him how he was silently pining for you and you never reacted the way he wanted you to. It confused him how you always scoffed at him whenever he complimented you but enjoyed cuddling with him during your regular movie nights.
He always wondered if he was making everything up, if you weren’t giving him potential signs at all and he just interpreted them the wrong way. Yet, when he opened up to Jake about his crush for you Jake didn’t seem surprised and said that everyone knew you both liked each other. Emphasis on both. After some time passed, Jake reassured Sunghoon that it was no use pining like this and that he was sure you two were destined to be together. Sunghoon was still scared shitless because there was still the possibility of you rejecting him. And whatever happens, he can’t afford to lose you because of his stupid feelings.
Sunghoon can’t even remember when he started liking you. It randomly hit him one day when you were wiping some ketchup off his mouth after eating fries and his heart began to race uncontrollably. He started noticing how pretty your eyes and lips were, how well you carried yourself, how quick-witted you were and how you always seemed to be at ease when you were around him. He had an ability to calm you down that no one else had. And Sunghoon managed to mistake it for mutual interest.
Once you slammed the door in his face you stood in front of his house for a few minutes, trying to sort out your thoughts and get your feet to move. The gears in your head were turning at lightning speed and you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Wasn’t this what you always wanted?
You speculated if there was something more than friendship forming between you two from time to time. You started paying closer attention to Sunghoon’s small habits and the way he acts around you, appreciating the way he always puts your needs first and makes sure you’re always sorted first before he worries about himself. When your friends started asking about what you and Sunghoon were, you were quick to answer that you were just best friends, but you always questioned why they would ask that if you simply gave off friendship energy.
Sunghoon had everything you would look for in a partner. So why were you rejecting him? You never even calculated the possibility of him liking you back, and the sole idea of it made heat rush to your ears. For whatever reason it seemed so impossible to you that Sunghoon could hold similar feelings for you that you blatantly rejected any chance of you two getting into a relationship, pushing your feelings aside in the process. It annoyed you that your friends kept pushing you towards each other when it was clear as day to you that Sunghoon didn’t feel the same. For your own sanity, you couldn’t accept anything else.
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It's been over two weeks since Sunghoon confessed to you. And ever since then, you two didn’t talk to each other at all. It was the longest time you went without texting, calling and seeing each other. And you hated every bit of it. You missed Sunghoon like crazy, not talking to him felt like torture.
“You wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon.“
You hated how your friend was right. But you couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him, let alone appear at his house. He was probably hoping for you to reach out because he didn’t contact you either. To be fair, it was your turn after you ran away from him like that. But to put it simply, you had no clue how to address this situation.
You had spent the last couple of days rereading your text messages, smiling at all the fond memories you made and the stupid memes you constantly shared with each other. It made your heart ache for him even more and you started being angry at him for ruining a perfectly fine friendship. Things should have just stayed the way they were and the fact that everything was different now bothered you to no end.
Apart from missing Sunghoon, you also felt incredibly bored. With Yunjin and Heeseung being out of the country, your closest friends were all unavailable and all you did was lay in bed all day and reminiscence old times. You wondered how this shift in Sunghoon and your relationship would affect the whole friend group dynamic. Did you just doom more than one friendship?
Your boredom got to the point where you considered texting friends you rarely hang out with out of pure desperation. However, you didn’t manage to send out the text messages you had written and rewritten several times. You felt like you sounded too eager and decided to just continue decaying in your room, hoping that Sunghoon will find the courage to reach out to you first.
When you felt your phone vibrate next to you, you have never been so fast to check who messaged you, obviously hoping that your and Sunghoon’s telepathy had worked once again and he was the one to reach out. When you were met with a notification from Ningning, you were slightly disappointed, to say the least. Nevertheless, you opened her message.
Ningning~: Hey Y/N! I haven’t heard from you in a while so I wanted to reach out again. How is your summer break? Are you in town? I wanted to ask if you would like to join me tomorrow. There’s a party hosted by Yeonjun and I thought maybe you’d like to come too! Just let me know xx
You sighed. You really weren’t in the mood to party. But you were also dying of boredom, so should you just ignore the offer you got at being less lonely and having some fun? Maybe it can distract you from this whole Sunghoon situation. Alcohol was always a good way to drown your feelings, right? Wrong, but who cares.
You: Hey Ning, thanks for reaching out! I’d love to go! Just text me the details and I’ll be there x
You cringed. It didn’t sound like you at all. You hoped she wouldn’t notice and ask what’s wrong because you only wanted to talk to Yunjin about this at the moment. You considered calling her, but she already announced on the first day of her trip that the internet is really bad and she probably won’t be able to call or text much. Great.
To your surprise, Ningning didn’t notice your strange demeanor, texted you all the important information and before you knew it, you were standing in front of Choi Yeonjun’s apartment. You took the chance to actually style yourself for once, usually being too lazy to put in any effort to look good during the summer break. It did give you a boost of confidence, but you still weren’t sure if the party was a good idea.
And you realized it definitely wasn’t a good idea when you entered the apartment and the first thing you saw was Park Sunghoon standing at the other end of the hallway talking to a friend. As if he had a radar for you, he immediately locked eyes with you from across the hallway. You couldn’t read his expression but noticed how you stared at each other for a solid five seconds. Your skin burned under his gaze and you couldn’t hold eye contact any longer, quickly disappearing from his sight into another room. Ningning was quick to organize drinks for you and she did an amazing job at chatting you up, making you forget about your unplanned encounter with Sunghoon.
Of course, Sunghoon was at the party. What did you expect? He’s close with Yeonjun, and the fact that you couldn’t put two and two together before going to the party baffled you. But it was too late to run away now, and you decided to just try and ignore Sunghoon as much as possible. To your surprise, you really didn’t catch a glimpse of him for the rest of the evening. In fact, everything started to blur once Karina joined you and Ningning with a round of shots. Afterwards, you continued downing shots like no tomorrow and before you knew it, you were seriously drunk.
You did know your limit and you stopped once you noticed how close you were to feeling sick, but that didn’t change the fact that you developed some mobility problems. You decided to sit down in the living room, but the moment your body met the sofa you started dissociating. With no idea how much time had passed since you plopped yourself on Yeonjun’s sofa, you were only pulled out of your trance when you were met with four pairs of eyes in front of you. Your vision was blurry and when you tried your best to make out who it was, you regretted it.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Sunghoon asked, a worried expression painting his face. Ningning was next to him, she probably called him over because she didn’t know what to do. You blinked at him several times before you carefully picked your words, trying not to sound too drunk.
“Yeah, I’m great!” you yelled over the music with a smile, so loud that the people around you took notice of your state as well. Sunghoon sighed, he really wasn’t in the best state either, but he immediately sobered up a bit once Ningning asked for his help to get you home.
“Let me take you home, okay? Come on.” He reached out his hand for you and you had to focus really hard to be able to take it. Once you stood up you started swaying, noticing again just how much alcohol was in your system. Sunghoon detected your difficulty to simply stand straight as well, holding your lower arm to keep you from tipping over. He gently guided you to the door, mumbling something about how walking might be better for you to sober up.
The moment you went outside you took notice of the brisk air. It cooled down a lot and you were surprised how much it smelled like rain without actually having rained. You took a deep breath which helped you follow Sunghoon who kept a close eye on you. Whenever you were dangerously close to tripping, he would hold your arm to steady you and you quietly thanked him every time.
It was a long walk, and you didn’t exchange a word. However, it seemed to be a comfortable silence. You could feel tension between you two, but you knew that you weren’t in the right mind to discuss the depths of your relationship now. Yet, you wanted to test the water and whether there was bad blood between you two.
You decided to purposefully bump into him and when he looked at you in confusion, you just smiled playfully at him. It didn’t take him 2 seconds to reciprocate your smile and bump into you as a form of revenge. To his surprise, you still lost your balance faster than expected and almost landed face first on the ground. Sunghoon was quick to catch you and couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Oh God, sorry!” he let out a breathy laugh and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, shaking your head to signal him it’s okay.
With a more lighthearted atmosphere you continued your descent to your home. It didn’t take you long to feel the cold air biting at your skin and with goosebumps grazing your body you confessed to Sunghoon that you felt cold. Unfortunately, Sunghoon didn’t bring a jacket with him either. Because his house was closer to Yeonjun’s apartment than yours, he offered to take you in for the night. Considering the tension between you, you were caught off guard by his offer, but accepted it nevertheless.
Once you made it to his house you rushed inside quickly. Sunghoon was home alone for the week because his parents and sister went to a holiday camp Sunghoon didn’t bother to join. You instantly felt home and realized how much you missed not only being by his side but also at his house.
“Is it okay if I shower?” you said, slightly sobered up but still a bit wobbly on your legs.
“Promise me you won’t drown?” Sunghoon asked sarcastically, there was a seriousness in his glance that told you he was only half-joking. You nodded in response and rushed to the bathroom.
When you got out of the shower you felt really hot suddenly, so Sunghoon offered to sit on the balcony for a bit. You sat down right at the edge, letting your feet dangle over it. Sunghoon joined you, not sparing you a glance but rather focusing on the clear sky above you.
You didn’t speak for a while, and you questioned whether it was a comfortable silence or not. You gulped nervously before you scraped together all the courage you had left.
“I’m sorry that I stormed out of your house the other day.”
You hoped your words didn’t sound too slurred and Sunghoon would understand it as a sincere apology and when you glanced at him you noticed how he smiled slightly, still not looking at you.
“It’s okay.”
A small smile crept up on your lips as you kept your eyes on him, examining his features. You never noticed until now just how pretty his moles are, they are a perfect addition to his face. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system, but you were suddenly craving to be near him.
Even though there were unspoken words between you, you decided to shuffle closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. He jumped slightly for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but he relaxed under you quickly, keeping his eyes on the sky. You didn’t know how much his heart was racing, but yours was uncontrollably beating out of your chest as well. You never felt this nervous around him before and you blamed it on the alcohol and the overall tension. Your heart was beating so fast because you were scared to lose him, right?
After a while, you noticed him shifting beneath you, turning his head towards you. You did the same and only noticed then just how close your faces were to each other’s. You could feel his breath on your face and figured that it would only take a few millimeters to close the distance between you two. Suddenly you were hyper aware of his every move, noticing how his eyes flickered between your own and your lips. You ended up doing the same, taking notice of the way his lips slightly parted, letting out a nervous huff.
The tension between you felt insufferable and you didn’t know where the sudden urge to kiss him came from. Sunghoon was slowly closing the distance between you two, giving you enough time to pull away. When he noticed that you weren’t going to, he finally captured his lips with yours. The kiss was slow and cautious, as if he was afraid you would still change your mind. His soft lips grazed yours and you needed more, becoming intoxicated by his scent. When your hand went up to his neck, he took that as a sign to deepen the kiss.
You don’t know how long you’ve kissed, but you only separated to gasp for air quickly before connecting your lips once again. You never felt a bliss like this before and started exploring his mouth as if you’d have to remember it because he could disappear from your grasp at any moment. Soon enough, your hands were all over each other and you figured that the balcony wasn’t comfortable, so you moved to Sunghoon’s bed to continue your makeout session.
You situated yourself on his lap and his hands wandered to your hips straight away, keeping you in place. You felt like you weren’t close enough, so you moved forwards, brushing your clothed core against his, eliciting a small gasp from him. When you noticed how a bulge was forming underneath you, you moved again, feeling Sunghoon’s hands on your hips tightening and guiding you on his crotch. The room filled with heavy breathing and before you knew it, you were dry humping him, feeling his erection grow beneath you.
Sunghoon quickly decided to attack your jaw and kiss down your neck, moving on to your shoulder while pushing the strap of your bra and top to the side to gain better access. You whimpered slightly, feeling overwhelmed by his ministrations. His hands were exploring every curve on your body and left behind a burning sensation on every part of bare skin he touched. When he reached the hem of your shirt again, he pulled away to look at you, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face.
“Do you really want to do this?” he whispered, searching for any sign of discomfort in your eyes. Your pupils were probably as blown as his, telling him all he needed to know, but he only continued once you nodded eagerly. You never expected Sunghoon to make you feel like this, and you couldn’t stop yourself no matter how hard you tried. So with your shirt gone, the rest of your clothes was soon to follow.
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The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache, wincing slightly once you gained consciousness again. You did drink a lot, but you were still surprised how strong your hangover was. Taking notice of Sunghoon’s posters on the wall you didn’t think much, recalling how he brought you to his place because you were cold. However, when you noticed an arm around your waist, you froze. You slowly turned around to face Sunghoon, who was still dozing off next to you. Suddenly, you remembered what had happened last night. Images of you touching, exploring, feeling each other flooded your memory and your eyes almost popped out of your skull.
What did you do?! This wasn’t planned at all. You wanted to talk it out with him when the time was right and you both were sober again, not take it to the next level like this. Your breathing became uneven, and you noticed how a shiver ran down your spine.
As if on cue, Sunghoon stirred slightly, opening his eyes. When he looked at you still half-asleep, it was like he was staring at his most prized possession, and it overwhelmed you immediately.
“Good morning” he croaked out, voice still laced with sleep and a small smile playing on his lips. He closed his eyes again to stretch his body a bit, and when he finally opened his eyes fully to look at you, his expression dropped instantly. You just stared at him in shock and he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. He did not like that look at all.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, totally dreading your answer.
“What happened last night?” you asked, a question that was totally useless to ask since you already knew.
“You don’t remember?” Sunghoon questioned, noticing how his blood started running cold.
“I do, I just-“ you couldn’t find the words to express your thoughts right now. The whole situation stressed you out again, and you felt like you took advantage of Sunghoon when you both weren’t stone-cold sober.
“You didn’t enjoy it?” The moment he asked that question, you felt his touch on your skin again, the way he was holding you so carefully as if you were made out of porcelain. No matter how you twisted and turned it, you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it. You did, very much in fact. But you still didn’t want it to happen, not like this.
“I- I did. It’s just… I felt like it was a mistake.” You said as you were slowly getting up, his arm that was around your side flopping down on the bed.
Hearing that sentence felt like being shot right in the chest, and Sunghoon slowly got up as well, looking at you in disbelief.
“Why would you say that?” he prompted carefully, trying to keep calm while noticing how you were collecting your jeans from the floor and squeezing yourself into them. This scene looked oddly familiar and Sunghoon started panicking.
“It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this. I’m sorry, I think I should go,” you managed to choke out, feeling like your airflow was cut off because you were so conflicted.
“Don’t do this to me. Not again.” He said, his voice becoming strict, a tone he had never used on you before.
You really didn’t want to do this to him. Not again. But something in you told you that this was a slip up, that you shouldn’t stay there, that you made a wrong decision under the influence. You didn’t know why you were so eager to get out of there, because deep down you knew this was exactly what you wanted. You craved him, now more than ever, but you manipulated yourself into thinking this wasn’t right. In your mind, you were ruining a perfectly fine friendship by hooking up with your best friend after a few shots of alcohol. You completely ignored the fact that he made the move on you again.
Ignoring his advances, you kept getting dressed, ready to leave until you were stopped by your best friend.
“Y/N, stop.” Sunghoon warned, once again using the tone you only heard him use on Yeji when she was being naughty. You gulped anxiously, turning around to face him. He stood in front of you in only his sweatpants, his milky skin glowing in the morning sun. He looked ethereal, and you hated it.
“I don’t get it. You apologized to me, craved being near me and I had the feeling you were just as into it as I was last night. And now you want to run from me again. What is going on?” he demanded an answer, and you could hear how frustrated he was. He ran a hand through his hair waiting for your response and all you could do was sigh.
“I don’t know, Sunghoon. I need time to think, okay?!” you were getting agitated because you realized you had no argument against it. Yes, you wanted this, yes you enjoyed it. And yet, you were terrified of the consequences. Of how quickly this escalated. Of how easily you managed to turn your friendship upside down.
“So I was good enough for a fuck and now you’re gonna dump me again? Is that it?” Sunghoon spat, and you were shocked at how petty he was getting. You had never witnessed him that angry before, not even with Yeji. He did rage from time to time, but never like this. And the fact that his anger was directed at you made your skin crawl.
“God, no! Don’t make conclusions like that. I just don’t want us to ruin our friendship, is it that hard to understand?!” your frustration was reflected in your raising volume, making Sunghoon flinch slightly. When you waited for Sunghoon’s reaction, you were stunned to see that he was laughing. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he clenched his jaw, looking at you with a gaze so cold it sent a shiver down your spine.
“Well, sorry to break it to you, Y/N. We already did.”
You gulped again, your shoulders that you had unconsciously raised in the heat of the argument relaxing when you smiled bitterly at him and nodded, tears blurring your vision.
“That’s too bad then.” You said in an unexpectedly calm voice before turning around and slamming the door of his room, leaving him behind just the way you did two weeks ago.
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When Yunjin rang on your doorbell, she couldn’t wait to recite her trip in every detail. Apart from the beautiful cities she visited, the boys she got to know in Italy were also something to talk about. There was so much to unpack from that trip that she announced a meeting of minimum 3 hours and told you to prepare snacks and drinks.
You were happy that Yunjin was finally back, especially after everything that happened between you and Sunghoon. There has been complete radio silence once again, since you were 100% sure he was incredibly mad at you and called your friendship quits after this. At first you were weirdly okay with the situation until it hit you a few days later that you guys had ruined your year-long friendship with some drunk sex. You were still in denial about him confessing to you and you reciprocating his feelings, instead you blamed the night you two kissed and jumped to base four right after for the end of your friendship.
The worst part for you was that you felt like you couldn’t go back. Even if you admitted that this was what you craved, even if you apologized for the ways you pushed him away even though you didn’t mean it, the way the recent events unfolded made it impossible to start a healthy relationship. Everything turned so messy so quickly that you felt like you lost control of the situation and now that you might be able to regain it, it’s too late. Sunghoon looked at you with a sense of disappointment you will never forget. It haunted you at night.
So, you were glad that Yunjin was finally back because you needed a shoulder to cry on. You missed her like crazy and you hoped she had a better summer break than you did so far to distract you from your misery. But with the way she proclaimed her return, you were sure she had a lot of funny stories to share.
What Yunjin didn’t expect when you opened your apartment door was how awful you looked. Hair disheveled, eyes glassy, the bags under your eyes looking alarmingly dark. Nevertheless, she couldn’t hide her excitement.
“Girl!” she screeched, embracing you before you could take a good look at her. The hugs she gave were always extreme, but they were especially tight when you haven’t seen each other in a while. Once she separated from you and took another look at you, she knew something was wrong.
“You look terrible, what is going on?” she questioned, fixing the strands of hair that were in the wrong place. The deep sigh you let out was more than worrying to her and you could tell she was on edge immediately.
“It’s a long story, tell me about your holiday first!” you tried to chime but the exhaustion in your voice was evident. You took the bag she brought with her out of her hand and went to the living room, settling on the sofa where she joined you.
“No, my recap can wait. What’s wrong?” she was quick to clarify. Another sigh from your side. Where to begin?
“I slept with Sunghoon.” Wow. That was the worst part to begin with. Congratulations. The way Yunjin’s mouth dropped and her eyes went wide didn’t help at all.
“WHAT???” she asked in disbelief. When she realized that you weren’t joking, she threw her arms in the air.
“Fucking finally! I told you, you two were meant to be together! How was it? Is he a good kisser? How did this even happen? Oh my God I’m so excited Y/N I need to know all the details! This is so good!!” Yunjin squealed and her excitement scared the shit out of you. How were you going to explain to her that this was nothing like she wished for?
She looked at you expectantly, but you only stared at her with an apologetic look. Her excitement died down soon and she mirrored your expression, a pout forming on her lips.
“Wait, it is not good?” It was a rhetorical question, really. If it was a good thing, you wouldn’t look this miserable and instead be glowing or something. You could tell the gears in her head were turning. Suddenly her eyes were widening again and she put her hands over her mouth in shock.
“Oh my God, are you pregnant?” This actually made you chuckle. Now she was thinking way too far.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not pregnant.” You clarified, unable to hide your smile because you couldn’t believe how dramatic she was being.
“Then what is it?” she asked impatiently and you decided it might be best to start from the beginning. You recalled your last two encounters with Sunghoon, and you felt like Yunjin has never listened to you with such interest. A girl was invested.
When you finished Yunjin sighed heavily, her face dropping the more the story progressed. You had a pleading look in your eyes, begging for her advice.
“Girl, why did you make everything so complicated?” she finally asked and you were a bit appalled that she was attacking you.
“What do you mean, I did? Sunghoon started this.” You clarified, slightly offended.
“No honey, Sunghoon came clean about the feelings he’s been harboring for you for quite some time, something you’re still in denial about.” Yunjin pointed out and rightfully so. Sunghoon did what you couldn’t do: admit your feelings for him.
“But he shouldn’t have. We were totally fine and he had to make it awkward. The fact that we drunkenly slept with each other didn’t help at all.” You dropped your head in your hands. “I feel like we overstepped a line by having sex.” Yunjin was quick to shake her head.
“Y/N, you already overstepped a line when you started catching feelings for each other. I just don’t understand why you push him away like that when you like him too.” She reasoned, articulating your thoughts.
“I’m not sure if I really want this. We’ve been friends for so long, I need him by my side no matter what.” You replied, chewing on your lip nervously.
“So you’re scared that your relationship might not work out and you’ll lose him as a friend?”
“I think so. I just don’t want our friendship to be ruined over a stupid slipup. Maybe we mistake our feelings for platonic love and wouldn’t work out as a couple at all. And then we binned a totally fine friendship for no reason.” You noticed how verbalizing your worries really helped you deal with the whole situation. You debated this way too much on your own already, it was high time for another opinion.
“I get where you’re coming from. But you must view it from this perspective: You have the most important basis for a good relationship. Trust and good communication. Well, the latter until fairly recently at least. You hang out a lot and don’t get tired of each other. You can openly talk to him about everything. He’s always on your mind. There’s pretty much only the physical part missing. Which is why I need to ask if you didn’t enjoy it now that you got physically closer to him as well?”
It was like Yunjin was stating the obvious, but she helped you realize that there was not much to be afraid of. You felt safe around him and he felt safe around you and that was the most important thing. But you still were so hesitant, why?
“No, I definitely enjoyed it.” In fact, you’ve been thinking about nothing else but how soft his skin felt on yours and how pretty his lips are. And you felt like this made everything even more difficult, because there was still something keeping you from committing to him fully when there were so many indicators that you’re meant to be.
“Well then, you’re standing in your own way. I know you’re terrified that this might go wrong, but it will certainly go wrong if you don’t fix this. You both deserve to be happy. And personally, I think you’re happy if you’re together. Look what being apart from him does to you.” Yunjin pointed out, looking you up and down. You scoffed but knew she was right.
“I just don’t know how to fix it. I feel like it’s too late. He already waited too long and probably gave up on us.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. You can’t just drop someone that quickly. He’s probably struggling just as much as you.”
“You did what?!” Jake asked in shock, similar to Yunjin’s reaction.
“I confessed, and she rejected me. Twice.” Sunghoon repeated, kind of embarrassed.
“Dude, I can’t believe this. I always thought she liked you back.” Jake furrowed his brows, pondering whether he had also misinterpreted your behavior. To him, it was clear as day that you both shared a mutual romantic interest in each other but were too shy to address it. So, when Sunghoon revealed what he had done, he initially got excited.
“Yeah well, I thought so too, especially since we had sex that one night after a party and-“
“You guys had sex???”
“Jake… ugh. Yes, we did. We were both a bit drunk though.” Sunghoon reasoned but the sparkle in Jake’s eyes told him it was to no avail.
“I’m impressed, not gonna lie. You confessed and then jumped straight to base four. Did you learn from me?” Jake couldn’t help but laugh, he found that situation way too amusing for Sunghoon’s liking.
“Man, what even is base four… anyway. The point is, she said she wanted this and also admitted she enjoyed it, but she basically fled the scene the next morning and hasn’t been reaching out since. I just don’t fucking know anymore.” Sunghoon ruffled his hair in frustration and let out a deep groan. Just the thought of you leaving him behind in his room shattered his heart into a million pieces.
He just didn’t understand it. He was on cloud nine when you nodded that you wanted this too, pupils blown wide and breathing uneven. He could feel your heart pounding like crazy, similar to his own. The way you were holding him gave him all the cues he needed to claim you as his. And yet, you slipped from his embrace hours later. What could there possibly be that kept you from being with him? All the signs were there that you felt the same. Or so he thought.
“Maybe she’s scared. You’ve been friends for quite some time, I wouldn’t want to throw that away lightheartedly either just because I was horny and drunk one night.”
“But I don’t see why this wouldn’t work. We worked perfectly fine the last couple of years as friends. We literally complete each other. What more could you want?”
“It’s still commitment, Hoon. Friendships are easier to keep and end than relationships. I think Y/N wants to protect herself from possible heartbreak by keeping you in the friendzone.” Jake reasoned, and Sunghoon wondered when he became so intelligent.
“So, we’re ignoring the fact that she is breaking my heart in the process?”
“Of course not. And it’s on you how much time you give her to make a decision. Do what’s best for you. If you feel like this drains you more than you could get out of it, it’s best to cut ties. You guys overstepped the line now anyway.” Sunghoon was surprised by Jake’s reply, it felt like the wisest advice he had ever given. When he told Jake about his feelings the very first time, his friend was less helpful.
Sunghoon felt like the world was caving in on him and he finally needed to break out of his shell, finally confide in someone what has been bothering him lately. Whenever you guys planned a meeting, he was more excited than usual to see you. And when he did, he felt butterflies in his stomach whenever you laughed. When you hugged or cuddled on the couch, he noticed how he always wanted it to last longer, for him to be even closer to you. Whenever you made a stupid joke and bickered with him, he couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying every second of being with you.
He didn’t know what was happening to him. It scared him that somehow, he wanted more from you than before. More attention, more laughter, more contact. You were on his mind 24/7. He started noticing the smallest things about you. How you changed your clothing style over time. How you did your hair a little differently, playing around with various simple but pretty hairstyles. He noticed overall how good you looked.
Sunghoon paid attention to details he never cared about before. He started complimenting you more because he felt like he needed to point out that he noticed whenever you changed something about yourself or put in that extra effort to get ready. And he was the proudest when you smiled at him and thanked him for the compliment. Though, you soon stopped taking it seriously and figured it was probably just part of your bickering.
The way his feelings for you changed confused him and after a while of dealing with it himself, he finally needed another opinion. When he called Jake to ask if he could come over because he needed help, the latter was surprised, to say the least. Sunghoon rarely talked about his worries, and when he did, he talked about them with you and not Jake. So, what could it possibly be that made him choose Jake over you?
Oh yeah, well, that. Once Sunghoon laid out to Jake how he certainly noticed something shifted whenever he is with you he could only but chuckle, leaving Sunghoon with a perplexed stare.
“Nice bro, you finally noticed? You’re pretty much the last one to do so.”
“What do you mean?” Sunghoon asked, confusion written all over his face. Jake couldn’t help but giggle and shake his head at his oblivious friend.
Basically everyone had noticed how you two got a lot closer suddenly, which caused rumors to start spreading that you secretly started dating. Jake and Jay even had a bet going who asked the other out first and he couldn’t wait for Sunghoon to confess that he was in fact dating you.
Everyone had noticed. Everyone but you two.
“You got to be kidding me. You so obviously like her, it wasn’t necessarily hard to spot.” Jake pointed out, which made Sunghoon’s eyes grow big. He gulped nervously, unconsciously playing with the hem of his shirt.
“Do you think she knows too?” Sunghoon asked, his brows knit together. What if you knew and chose to ignore it? Talking to Jake made Sunghoon realize that the shift in his behavior around you correlated with a shift in his feelings for you. He liked you. And he knew he was screwed before Jake could answer.
“Nah dude. She probably is just as oblivious as you.” Jake clicked his tongue nonchalantly. That somehow made Sunghoon release a breath of relief.
“What do you reckon I should do?” Sunghoon questioned. He couldn’t believe he was asking Jake, a retired but previously notorious player, for dating advice. Only Chaewon was able to get him interested in the actual dating life, but he proved miserable at that. Chaewon could handle it, fortunately, but Jake wasn’t the best person to talk about feelings. He didn’t do those until fairly recently.
“I don’t know, just wait and see what happens.” Yeah, Jake was really useless in that field.
“You’re not helping.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes in annoyance, making Jake raise his hands in defense.
“Bro, what do you want me to say? Confess and run into a disaster because chances are she doesn’t like you back? I personally think it’s mutual by the way she behaves, but who am I to judge.” He reasoned and Sunghoon nodded understandingly.
He had no choice but to observe your behavior from now on to find any clue whether you like him too. Jake was absolute garbage at giving advice, but Sunghoon decided to cut him some slack this time since it actually seemed the right thing to do. Damn, what has Chaewon done to him?
Sunghoon answered the same back then as he did now.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
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16 new messages in squaaaaad
Chaewonie ❤️: Guys, we haven’t had a cinema night in ages and they switched up the screening offer at our trusted cinema! How about dinner together with a cinema night as a squad now that we’ve all returned?
Hee Hee (seung): only if you promise not to make out with Jake three minutes into the movie
Ikeu: rude???
Ikeu: anyway, I’m in!
Meme Queen 😎: of course you are.
Ikeu: what’s with the disrespect today
Jjongsaeng: count me in too! dinner at our usual ahjumma? <3
Chaewonie ❤️: Obviously, I’ve been craving her Jjamppong the last few days!
DDEONU: I’m in too! so dinner’s on chaewon then?
Chaewonie ❤️: Dream about it Sunoo
Zuhaaa: count me in too
DDEONU: just checked the screenings, let’s go watch the new barbie movie!!
Hee Hee (seung): I changed my mind I won’t go
DDEONU: 😒
Meme Queen 😎: I’m in too by the way and I’m not a whiny little bitch like Heeseung so Barbie is fine
Hee Hee (seung) left the group chat
Meme Queen 😎: exactly what I’m talking ‘bout
You couldn’t help but chuckle at your stupid friends. Yunjin, who had her head in your lap, was similarly laughing at the text messages, especially when she added Heeseung back to the group chat and he started whining even more.
“Aren’t you going to write anything?” Yunjin prompted without looking at you.
“I don’t know if I’m going.” You admitted shyly, biting your lip. That made Yunjin turn her head to look at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Girl, don’t even think about cancelling.” She warned. You exhaled, throwing your phone away and running both hands over your face.
“Look, I just don’t want to make it awkward if Sunghoon is there.” You tried to explain, but Yunjin wasn’t buying it at all.
“Nah babe, we’re not doing that. Don’t destroy our friendship group because of something like that. Plus, it could be an opportunity to talk things out with Sunghoon.”
“If he joins.” You said absentmindedly. Yunjin clicked her tongue.
“And if he doesn’t then that’s on him and we’re going to have fun without him. But don’t ruin fun for yourself because he might be there. I know you want to go.” Ugh, you hated that Yunjin was (almost) always right.
“Fine.” You groaned.
Meme Queen 😎: I’m dragging Y/N along too
You cringed at the way Yunjin put it, but she wasn’t completely wrong. You weren’t too excited to go, because you had a bad feeling this could turn ugly if Sunghoon was to show up as well. Yes, it was a squad meeting, but you still had no idea how to act around him, let alone how he would act around you. Additionally, not everyone knew what went down. Yunjin had briefly updated Heeseung without too many details and you guessed Sunghoon might have told Jake, but other than that, no one was aware of the recent events. How awkward would that get?
Quite awkward. Sunghoon had announced that he would be coming as well, and since Yunjin already told everyone that you would be there too you had no way to back out of it. You persisted that you would show up together with Heeseung, too afraid that you might be the first to arrive and Sunghoon being second or the other way around.
To your surprise, Sunghoon was one of the last to arrive, very unlike him since he was always over-punctual. When you exchanged glances, a shiver ran down your spine. You tried to decipher his look but couldn’t, it held an emotion you had never seen before. You couldn’t hold his gaze either, quickly looking at Jake to greet him.
When Kazuha arrived at last, you went inside the restaurant to finally grab a bite. You only noticed then that you were starving, instantly plopping down on the first spot you saw. Yunjin sat down to your left and Jay aimed at joining you on your right, only to retreat while mumbling something about how Sunghoon is going to sit there anyway. It wasn’t intentional, Sunghoon and you always claimed to sit next to each other and sent grim looks to everyone who tried to get in your way. But this time was different.
Sunghoon and you exchanged shaky glances, still that undecipherable look in his eyes and with a small gulp, he situates himself on the other side of the table instead of next to you. This move earned confused glances from half the group, and you simply nodded with a sad expression coating your face. So that’s what we’re doing now, you thought. Great.
Thankfully, no one commented Sunghoon’s odd move and everyone sat down instead, Jay reclaiming the spot next to you. You could feel the tension at the table, something was in the air and everyone noticed. But no one dared to speak up. Those who knew just exchanged worried glances and those who didn’t simply looked confused. There was an unusual silence at the table before Chaewon finally managed to break the silence by asking what everyone wants to eat.
You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and the whole situation drained you from the get-go. How were you going to survive the rest of the evening after such a bumpy start? You tried not to stare at Sunghoon too much and whenever you caught a glimpse of him looking at you, you panicked and looked away instantly. Sunghoon wasn’t any better, acting quite absentminded until Jake bumped him under the table. With a demanding glance Sunghoon knew immediately what he was trying to tell him. Jake, similar to Yunjin, made it clear that no fun was cut from the evening just because of your miserable situation. Sunghoon tried his best to join the conversation, but everyone could tell that something was weird.
After a rather awkward meal you made your way to the cinema, Yunjin linking arms with you as you tried to calm your nerves. This wasn’t going to be easy. The fact that everyone noticed the tension between you and Sunghoon made you incredibly nervous and you figured that you had to talk about it sooner or later tonight.
When you reached the cinema and the mood was still off, your body acted faster than your mind. Without hesitation, you grabbed Sunghoon’s arm, who looked at you quite alarmed. With a gaze that conveyed “Can we talk?” Sunghoon quickly nodded and followed you behind the cinema. Yunjin and Jake quickly exchanged knowing yet uneasy glances when they saw you disappear behind the building.
Once you reached the backside of the cinema, you stopped in your tracks. Not noticing how you still held onto Sunghoon’s arm, only his verbal reminder brought you back to reality.
“You can let go now.” It scared you how cold he sounded. You didn’t know if it was the unusually chilly night or if his voice really lacked the warmth you were so used to. You realized that you had to face him sooner or later, back still turned to him. You knew that turning around and looking at him will most likely break you and you were right.
When you made eye contact, you kept seeing a look in his eyes that you couldn’t decode. You usually could guess his opinion on things or his overall mood by how he looked at you or others, but this was different. This was a look he had never worn before, and it scared you.
And you made another dreadful realization. Shit. You hadn’t prepared this conversation at all. You had brought him here and were now at a loss of words. He looked at you expectantly, obviously waiting for you to talk first since you were the one who dragged him there in the first place. Your brain was short-circuiting, so you blurted the first thing to pop up in your mind.
“Hi.” Mentally facepalming yourself, you closed your eyes and shook your head. Sunghoon didn’t react to that at all either, waiting for you to actually articulate what you want to tell him.
“Look, we need to talk.” Is all you could choke out in nervousness, your voice betraying you by breaking in the middle of the sentence.
“We do?” Sunghoon’s question caught you off-guard and you looked at him generally confused.
“Yes, don’t you think so?” you prompted in disbelief. Sunghoon shrugged.
“Oh I did, but you don’t strike me as the person who wants to talk about this anymore after last time.” He admitted and you cringed at his words. You realized at that moment that you did know that tone of his. He used that exact tone when breaking up with Eunchae, a conversation you overheard as he wanted you nearby when it happened. It’s the voice he uses when he’s built a barrier to protect himself.
He's built a barrier. The fact that he felt like he needs to protect himself from you emotionally ripped your heart out, but then again you couldn’t blame him. Everything you did made this a justifiable response. And you were to make it worse.
“Sunghoon.” You called out to him weakly and his gaze softened for a split second upon hearing you call his name in such desperation. “I didn’t want this to happen. Not like this, believe me,” you said while taking a step towards him.
He didn’t back off, and you took that as a sign to continue.
“I never wanted to lose you as a friend, the thought of it makes me sick, and I panicked when you suddenly confessed. I didn’t know how to act so I chose to run away.” You tried to explain your point of view and he patiently waited for you to continue, as if he waited for a specific sentence.
Tell him it was a mistake to run from him. Tell him you like him too. Tell him you want this too. For some reason, you just couldn’t articulate those feelings. For some sick, twisted reason, you still weren’t sure if this is what you really felt. You still didn’t come clear about your emotions, about whether your feelings for him are platonically or romantically coded. You felt like you still needed to find out.
With one more step forward, you closed the gap between Sunghoon and yourself. Without thinking this through you took his face into your hands, connecting your lips in a swift motion. Sunghoon seemed slightly taken aback by your action but responded to the kiss nevertheless, his arms immediately wandering to your waist. However, he was quick to break the kiss, tightening his grip on your waist to put some distance between you.
“What are you doing?” he questioned in a serious, slightly disappointed tone, his brows furrowed. You looked at him with big eyes.
“I’m trying to make things right.” You said weakly, feeling extremely small under his strong gaze.
“No, you’re testing the waters.” He said and gave your hips a small push to create more distance between you. Your arms fell to your side lifelessly, tears threatening to escape.
“No.” you tried to defend but Sunghoon was able to shut you down quickly.
“Yes, Y/N. I can tell you’re still not sure about this. So stop bullshitting me.” He said it calmly but it felt like he spat those words in your face.
“I don’t-“ you tried again but he interrupted straight away.
“Listen to me. If you can’t come clean about how you feel for me then that’s on you. But stop playing with my feelings in the process. For the sake of our year-long friendship, I think we should have at least that much respect for each other.”
You were absolutely speechless. The way he delivered those words to you, you felt like he wasn’t feeling any emotion at all. It scared you that Sunghoon, who was usually very vocal and expressive, could articulate something so dryly. Only then did you realized just how much you have fucked up.
You have hurt Sunghoon so much with your indecisiveness that he completely shut you out. Backed off emotionally from you. For him to say those things so easily, it made your heart ache. You opened your mouth to speak, to protest, but there was nothing to protest about.
He was right, you played with his heart. He was nothing but honest with you and you rejected him not once, but twice. And now you thought a weak excuse and a kiss could fix it? Oh, how naïve you were.
Sunghoon saw you open your mouth to speak but he quickly shook his head.
“This conversation is over.” He announced, turning on his heels and walking away to the rest of your friends. This time, he left you behind and you started to understand how shitty it must have felt when you did it to him.
You stood there motionlessly, unable to move while trying to process what just happened. You were sure you deserved it for how you acted previously but you still didn’t know how to handle this situation. You tried your best to keep your tears in and collect yourself so you can get back to the group, but tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you sobbed quietly, hoping not to catch the attention of your friends.
In the meantime, Sunghoon made it back to the group alone, earning confused glances from the rest of your friends.
“Where’s Y/N?” Sunoo asked, brows furrowed because something was definitely off but he didn’t want to insist.
“Oh, she’s coming soon. Don’t worry.” Sunghoon said nonchalantly, but Yunjin and Heeseung exchanged concerned glances. Yunjin debated checking on you, sensing that whatever went down behind the cinema didn’t end well. She examined Sunghoon’s look, and he gazed back at her, as if challenging her. What is wrong with him? He never acted like this before.
Deep down, Sunghoon was sweating. He tried his best to act normal, to not let it get to him how absolutely gutted he left you there. But he couldn’t help himself. All the pain he experienced the last couple of days made him become petty. With Jake telling him to be careful not to hurt himself too much while waiting for you he decided it might be best to push his feelings to the back of his head.
The full ordeal was swallowing him whole. He wanted nothing but to hold you, talk to you, be with you, hear your beautiful voice through the phone, see your little frown whenever you complained about something. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t push any further after being rejected twice already.
On the one hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything right. He couldn’t go on pretending you were just friends when he has been falling for you harder the more time passed. Being honest to himself and to you was what you had unofficially promised each other and he wanted to keep that promise no matter what.
On the other hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything wrong. He caused this trouble by being selfish and pushing you towards a relationship you might not even want. You worked out fine, and one should never change a running system, right?
Wrong. He knew your friendship was doomed the first time he caught his heart skipping a beat upon seeing you, the first time he imagined what your lips would feel like on his own, the first time he hugged you for a second longer than usual because he didn’t want to let go just yet. But he hoped it wouldn’t end the way it did just now. He was pretty certain that this was it.
Even if you decided you felt the same, you probably wouldn’t come back to him after he delivered such a terrible line in the coldest tone he had ever used on anybody. He was scared of himself that he managed to treat you like this. That the harshest words he had ever spoken were directed to you
A few minutes later, you mustered up the courage to join the rest, having successfully dried your tears and calmed down enough for others to see you. When you turned the corner, you heard Sunoo scream for you in excitement, making Yunjin’s head snap towards you.
“Y/N! There you are, finally. Come on guys, let’s go or we’ll miss the first few minutes!”
You were quick to shoot him a smile, trying your best to hide the fact you just finished crying and had to control yourself not to burst out in tears again. Yunjin was immediately able to uncover your mask and shot Sunghoon another look, trying to piece together what might have happened back there.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly enough for only you to hear, and you were fast to brush her off by nodding, but she didn’t buy it. You shot her a look that she shouldn’t persist and she got the memo, following you inside without prompting another question.
When Sunoo finished buying all the tickets and wanted to hand them out in seat order, he hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether he should put Sunghoon and you next to each other after he already refused to sit next to you during dinner. Noticing the stiff air between you (which really wasn’t hard to do), he decided against it and instead sat you next to Kazuha and Heeseung.
By now, no one in your friend group was unaware of the fact that Sunghoon and you were fighting, but no one dared to ask and interfere. Nevertheless, every time someone looked at you, they shot you apologetic glances and you swore you needed to get out of there. You really weren’t in the mood to watch a movie now, especially not a bubbly one like Barbie.
When you plopped down in your seat, you didn’t even bother shooting Sunghoon a glance as he passed you to sit further down the row. Heeseung sat next to you, whispering something about that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable, but you just ignored him. At the moment, your mind was blank and you just wanted the evening to end. You prayed to the gods that the movie will make you forget at least for a short while how heartbroken you are.
It seemed to work for the first half, however as the movie progressed you noticed how you replayed the conversation between Sunghoon and you in your mind endlessly. You couldn’t help but let one tear after another roll down your cheek, trying your best not to gain attention by sobbing. You sniffed as silently as you could but Heeseung noticed nevertheless.
And so did Sunghoon. When he looked over to you and saw you crying, he felt a sting in his heart. He really tried not to cry alongside with you, but the view he had of you not being able to control your tears ruined him. He tried hard to focus on the movie, noticing how Jake was studying his behavior next to him. Sunghoon chose to ignore it for his own sake. Just like you, he wanted to go home as quickly as possible.
Once the credits started rolling, you practically jolted from your seat to get out of the situation you were in. Of course the rest of your friend group took an eternity to get up, collect their stuff and leave the cinema. As soon as the warm summer air hit your nose, you turned around to everyone, announcing that you didn’t feel well and will leave early. Without bothering to wait for a response you turned on your heels, practically running away from the group, leaving a worried Yunjin and Heeseung behind.
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“Are you sure we shouldn’t just postpone the road trip until you figure things out?” Yunjin asked warily, wanting to make sure you really meant what you just told her.
“No way. Y’all waited so long for this! It’s our ritual as well. Please go, I just won’t join.” You clarified. You figured that after the cinema disaster, Sunghoon and you shouldn’t be in the same room for a while, not only for your own sakes, but also because it made the whole atmosphere awkward.
It was never your intention to affect your whole friend group with your problems, but here you were. You decided it was best for everyone if you were left out. You couldn’t see it since you were on the phone, but Yunjin shook her head firmly.
“And it’s also a ritual that we all go together. All of us. You included.”
“I get it, but I just don’t know how to act around Sunghoon and how he’ll act around me. I don’t want to ruin the trip for everyone.”
“Trust me, you will ruin it if you don’t come. Remember when Heeseung and Kazuha had a quick fling? The friend group didn’t break because of that either. Just act normal around him and you’ll be fine. You’re adults after all. I know you were so excited for the road trip, please don’t let that ruin the fun.” Yunjin tried to argue.
She felt slightly bad because it sounded like she was forcing you, but she knew that the squad road trip was your favorite part of the summer break. She was certain that this might be therapeutic for both you and Sunghoon. No way in hell would she let it happen that one of you left the friend group. She saw it as an opportunity to at least act civil around each other when in group settings.
“I know, I’m just scared to face him. What if I break out crying?” you played the worst scenarios in your head on how everyone would be annoyed by your whiny heartbroken ass.
“Then everyone will understand. The situation isn’t easy. And it’s okay to cry.” Yunjin reasoned. After the cinema night, everyone asked each other what happened between Sunghoon and you and the story spread like wildfire. When the first pitiful message from Chaewon arrived, you knew you were done for. You felt terrible for worrying everyone and you were afraid people were going to pick sides. To your relief, no one mentioned anything and left it to you two to solve the issue.
Yunjin noticed your hesitation and she could practically hear the way you wear nervously chewing your lip, so she sighed.
“Alright, listen. If you really don’t want to go, then don’t. We’ll understand. But I personally think it wouldn’t change anything if you stayed away. Unless you want to drown in your sorrows and don’t want me there to catch your tears. If you regret your decision it’s not my fault, just saying!”
You chuckled at her words. She was right, if you stayed home you would probably miss all of them and regret missing out on the fun. You promised yourself that you would try your best to act as normally as possible around Sunghoon. Still, the fact that you had to see him again scared you shitless.
Reflecting over the past few days made you come to the conclusion that you were incredibly stupid to deny him like that. You were angry at yourself that you couldn’t just admit that you liked him as much as he liked you. And even when you had another chance at making things right, you were still insecure whether it would be the right decision.
And now that you’re clear about your intentions, it was too late. Sunghoon ended the last conversation and you felt like it was final. There was no fixing now and no going back. So, you had to live with the fact that you ruined a potential relationship with your best friend who you had caught feelings for months ago. And no matter how you put it, it was a hard pill to swallow.
Little did you know that Sunghoon also regretted his decision. He came to realize that he might have been too harsh to you, that he reacted out of emotion and not reason. Sunghoon had never felt this strongly for anyone and it scared him, so he naturally thought he had to protect himself from potential heartbreak just like you tried prior. Guess you two were more similar than expected.
The more he thought about it, the more he understood where you were coming from. It was incredibly unfair how you treated him, but he started relating to it as he was going through a similar process now. Both of you made mistakes and both of you could have done better. What mattered now is how to fix it. And to say Sunghoon was terrified about his next steps was an understatement.
A couple of days later, you were all set and ready to go on the long-awaited road trip. You went over some requests with Yunjin, for example that you’d rather drive in a different car than Sunghoon so you won’t be stuck with him in a close space for hours. If you were in different cars, it would most likely be more comfortable for everyone involved, and Yunjin agreed.
You managed to squeeze yourself in the same car as Jay, who was driving, Heeseung, Kazuha and Chaewon. You were glad that you managed to get in Jay’s car because you believed him to be a better driver than Jake. Plus, Heeseung’s road trip playlist almost hit different, so you were in for a fun (and loud) ride.
Four hours passed by in a flash and you only realized that you arrived when Jay turned into the parking lot. Fortunately, the atmosphere in the car was lighthearted and you thanked yourself for making the decision to put yourself and Sunghoon in separate cars.
You also told Yunjin that you weren’t going to sleep in the same cabin as well, since that’s awkward. She respected that, assigning the cabins by gender anyway which earned groans from Chaewon and Jake who wanted to share one.
“You’re kidding right? The cabin is meant for 3 to 4 people, ain’t no way you’re going to do any nasty shit in there.” Yunjin scolded, earning a chuckle from the rest of the group.
“We were just going to cuddle, calm down.” Chaewon defended with a glare and Yunjin scoffed.
“Yeah sure, like last year?” Yunjin laughed and both Chaewon and Jake turned red, exchanging guilty looks. You couldn’t help but snort, catching everyone’s attention including Sunghoon’s. It was the first time you exchanged glances that day and you instantly felt goosebumps rise up your skin.
Was he always that handsome? You had a feeling Sunghoon looked even better than usual, or you were imagining things because you had been idolizing him the past couple of days. The more you contemplated your friendship, the more you realized how perfect he was. Seeing him now just confirmed your theories. You had been absolutely blind the last couple of months.
You gulped and quickly looked away, unable to catch the small smile that was playing on Sunghoon’s lips. He loved seeing you have fun and hearing you chuckle made his heart swell. Sunghoon realized he’s been so stupidly in love with you that there was no way he wasn’t trying to fix whatever you had ruined. He just didn’t know how he was to do that.
Once you dropped your stuff inside the cabin, half of your group went straight to the beach. Yunjin caught up with you and bumped your shoulder playfully, making you laugh. Even though you still felt down because of the whole situation with your best friend, you were really excited and relieved that you decided to go on the road trip. The beach and the scent of salt water instantly gave you serotonin and the karaoke session you had in the car raised your mood as well.
“How was the car ride? Ours was pretty boring, everyone slept half of the time and I don’t think Sunghoon has said a single thing the entire ride.” Yunjin recited and hearing his name made your heart skip a beat. As if on cue, Sunghoon was running past you to catch up with Jake, sparing you a quick glance. You didn’t know how to react, so you simply turned to Yunjin furrowing your brows in question.
Sunghoon always claimed himself to be an introvert, but you knew that especially in your friend group, he was glowing and more talkative than ever. The fact that he was quiet, even today, worried you. Yunjin could tell by the way you bit your lip that you were contemplating something.
“Will you try and talk to him?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Your attention quickly shifted towards Heeseung who was picking up Chaewon like it was nothing, running with her to the sea and throwing her into the water despite her obvious protests. She screeched in panic and when she got out of the water, she scowled at him.
“Oh, you wanna get fucked up.” She announced, fixing him with a challenging look and you could see Heeseung’s eyes turning wide before she lounges herself at him. He was quick to dodge her attack, running away as fast as he can despite the water inevitably slowing him down. When he locked eyes with you, it was like he locked in a new target.
The glint in Heeseung’s eyes scared you and the moment he approached you, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Before you could object he was next to you, grabbing you by the hip and throwing you over his shoulder.
“You’re next.” He giggled and ignored the way you slapped his back and screamed for him to let you go. Unable to prepare yourself in time, you were suddenly being met with the cold ocean water engulfing your body. When you broke through the surface, you couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, a sound Sunghoon missed so dearly that when he took notice, his heart fluttered.
Even more laughter erupted from you when Chaewon kept her promise and surprised Heeseung from behind, pushing him underwater as well. The antics continued until you rescued yourself to the shore, Yunjin promptly throwing a towel your way. Jake was quick to catch Sunghoon’s longing gaze for you but decided not to blurt a stupid comment, instead smiling at the pining of his friend.
Once you settled down on the beach you stripped out of the shirt that you initially planned to keep dry, but Heeseung destroyed those plans. While wringing out the access water from the shirt, you observed how Sunghoon and Jake stripped out of their shirts as well, ready to join your other friends in the water. Upon seeing Sunghoon’s toned abdomen, you were instantly reminded of the night you shared together. It made your stomach twist knowing you could have had all this to yourself and let it slip from your grasp.
“Okay, now you’re just blatantly staring.” Yunjin commented with a click of her tongue and a chuckle, following your gaze. You were glad that the temperatures made your face blush already so Yunjin couldn’t detect the heat climbing up your cheeks.
When Jake noticed your fixated gaze on Sunghoon, he quickly whispered something to the latter, making him turn around in an instant to lock eyes with you. Your eyes widened immediately and you tried to be nonchalant about it, looking away quickly. Both guys smirked at that, making Jake lean into Sunghoon once more.
“What is that? You guys are acting like two teenagers going through puberty who are obviously crushing on each other but too shy to strike up conversation.” He pointed out and Sunghoon let out a deep, long sigh. If only it was that easy, he thought.
After you tired yourselves out in the water, you decided for a cliché bonfire to end the night. Sunghoon plopped himself down at the other end of the bonfire opposite from you, the flames almost swallowing your view on him. You didn’t know if he did that on purpose, but you couldn’t help and steal glances from each other whenever you were roasting marshmallows. This didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Sunoo ended up judging you hard for constantly shooting heart eyes at each other from afar.
You actually hadn’t talked all day, it was silent pining from both sides and it made your friends go absolutely crazy. Could you finally get it over with?
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Unfortunately, the pining continued the next couple of days, neither of you ready to approach the other. It was frustrating you, to say the least. You figured that it was his turn to come to you after he ended the conversation the last time. Additionally, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself again like you did at the cinema.
You couldn’t pinpoint the atmosphere between you two, it seemed somewhat stiff yet not as terrible as it was during the cinema night. Anyone could tell that you both reflected on your behaviors and had a different mindset from before, so it was just as frustrating for your friends to notice your constant pining. Sunoo judged even harder than usual.
Yunjin tried to talk some sense into you, but you swiftly refused to make the first step. She ruffled her hair in frustration while washing her face to get ready for bed.
“Y/N please. Put your pride aside for once, this isn’t going anywhere.” She nagged in a way that reminded you of a typical Korean ahjumma.
“Y/N I have to agree with Yunjin for once. This is absolutely nerve-wrecking for all sides.” Chaewon added, turning around in her chair and interrupting her skincare routine.
You groaned. Couldn’t they let you deal with that alone? The situation was hard enough as is, it didn’t help that eight people kept track of your every move on top of it.
In the cabin next to yours, the boys were similarly pushy towards Sunghoon, earning annoyed glances from him. Like you, it annoyed him how everyone was observing and waiting for one of you to make a move. He wanted to figure this out with you alone, not while a whole group of people was watching.
That night, the constant nagging from your friends made you spiral into overthinking everything again. You dissected your conversations with Sunghoon once more, not able to get a wink of sleep or even feel tired. The whole ordeal stressed you out to the point where you needed to let go a bit. Not wanting to bother your cabinmates, you snuck outside, making your way to the pier to sit down and watch the moon a bit. The warm breeze that tickled your nose made you inhale deeply.
Such a beautiful vacation that is troubled by Sunghoon and my relationship, you thought. You really made it difficult for yourselves. This could have been so easy and yet you chose to do it the hard way. You still wondered why your head blocked you from telling Sunghoon what your heart wanted all this time. Why it took you so long to let those feelings take over. Why it was met with so much denial from your end in the first place.
You were now more sure than ever that you wanted to have Sunghoon by your side. The thought of having to continue life without him scared you to bits and you hoped you would never have to experience the reality of it, even though there was still a possibility he wouldn’t let you in anymore.
The more you thought about it, the more overwhelmed you became. A single tear ran down your cheek, quickly followed by another until you were silently sobbing into nothingness, the vision of the moon in front of you becoming blurry.
The sound of footsteps approaching snapped you out of your daze and you quickly wiped your tears, thinking it was one of the lifeguards scolding you for being on the pier so late. You were about to utter a half-assed apology when you turned around only to be met with Sunghoon standing a few feet away from you on the pier.
Sunghoon couldn’t doze off either, staring at the ceiling when he picked up a shuffling sound outside. He silently got up, making sure not to wake the others, and went over to the window only to see you emerge on a journey to the pier. He didn’t know what came over him, but his feet moved on their own and before he knew it, he was at the pier too.
It felt like everything froze for a moment when you locked eyes, a concern shading his gaze that made you shiver. You didn’t know what to say, your heartbeat picking up from his mere presence. You never noticed the effect he had on you until this trip.
“I’ve never liked to see you cry.” He said softly, almost as if he was pitying you, but you knew how he meant it. You sniffed in response, turning around since you suddenly felt hyperaware about how ugly you must have looked right at that moment.
The wood creaked underneath Sunghoon when he approached you, slow and cautious as if he was afraid you would freak out otherwise. When he stood right behind you, he contemplated his next move, biting his lip nervously. Just like you, he hadn’t thought this through. Suddenly standing in front of you overwhelmed him, and he needed a moment to calculate his next move.
“May I?” he suddenly asked, pointing at the spot next to you. You didn’t dare look at him now that he was so close, so you simply nodded. From the corner of your eye you could make out how he was sitting down. Scared to make eye contact you focused intently on the clouds forming above you.
Silence engulfed you and the only sound you could make out is that of the waves crashing at the poles of the pier. You didn’t know how to strike conversation and he seemed similarly in thought of how to carry on. Suddenly you wondered if he wasn’t saying much because he was still mad at you, and the thought alone made you anxious. You sighed heavily, being overly curious all of a sudden.
“Will you ever not be mad at me anymore?” you spoke up carefully, afraid that this question alone will make him snap. He turned out to be very calm, though. You didn’t know if that soothed your nerves or freaked you out even more. Sunghoon had the faintest of smiles playing on his lips.
“I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed and confused because I couldn’t figure you out.” He explained, making you scoff.
“I couldn’t even figure myself out, how were you supposed to?” you turned to him with curved eyebrows, and it was the first time on the trip that you saw him this close. The look in his eyes held something you couldn’t quite pin down again, but this time, it was much softer. It calmed you down, sending an exciting shiver down your spine.
His smile grew upon your rhetorical question and you swore he never looked better. You loved seeing him smile, seeing those dimples forming. You couldn’t help but mirror his expression, silently exchanging words you didn’t dare to speak out loud. You noticed how this situation calmed you down and made you incredibly nervous at the same time. You didn’t know where this was going.
Your smile dropped suddenly, and so did Sunghoon’s. He furrowed his brows softly, and you wished to flatten the crease forming between his eyebrows. Anxiety glossed over your eyes and you decided to be honest with him.
“I’m scared, Sunghoon.” He nodded understandingly and it looked like relief washed over him. For a moment he got terrified, thinking that you might turn him down once more. It wouldn’t make sense, but nothing made sense to him anymore anyway.
“I’m scared too.” He admitted, looking down at this hands that he was fidgeting agitatedly. You couldn’t describe it, but he looked tense and relaxed at the same time. Tensed because he was fearing ultimate rejection, relaxed because no matter what, your presence eased his mind.
Your mind suddenly threw you back to everything you two had been through. Several tragic exam seasons, friends of yours moving away, petty fights in the group chat over something completely stupid and reconciliations joined by tears and hugs, heartbreaks on both ends and comfort when each other’s grandparents died. You had survived so many tragedies together, so there was logically speaking no way you could not overcome this one.
Realization hit you that it was now or never. You had to tell him how you feel, honestly this time. No hiding, no beating around the bush. You forced yourself to say the words you were scared of for so long.
“I like you.”
It took Sunghoon’s head only a millisecond to snap towards you, as if he had to make sure what he heard was really what you had said. You locked eyes again and the way his gaze changed almost made your heart jump through your chest. He looked like he had finally heard the words he wanted to hear from you for such a long time. The only thing he ever wanted to hear from you.
Sunghoon was malfunctioning because now that you had finally confessed to him, he didn’t know what to do. As stupid as it sounds, because he had more than enough time, he didn’t prepare for this scenario. Not even in his daydreams did he play this scene out in his head. He had always skipped the awkward confession and jumped right into the domestic relationship stuff.
Sunghoon gulped and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. There was only one right answer, and he knew it.
“I like you too.”  
The sparkle in your eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon when he uttered those words again, the words that had left a bitter taste in your mouth when he rushed them out for the first time. But now all your stomach could do is hurt from all the butterflies, the look in your eyes finally reciprocating those of the boy in front of you.
You sit there for a moment, basking in each other’s presence and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you were on the same page about this after all. You were scared that Sunghoon will never want to speak to you again, and right now you couldn’t be happier that he decided to approach you one more time, giving you the chance to rebuild your relationship on a different level.
After a while of staring at each other and taking in each other’s confession, you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter together. This whole ordeal was so stupidly romantic despite the bumpy start and you had a hard time trying to contain your amusement.
“We should have done this the first time already.” You admitted, shaking your head at the painful memory of Sunghoon scaring you away with his revelation. Sunghoon couldn’t help but raise his brows at you in disbelief.
“Yeah? Well, whose fault was that?” he challenged and guilt glossed over your face, your lips forming a pout. The boyish grin he was wearing only grew wider.
“Stop blaming me, I know I fucked up.” You acknowledged, dropping your head in shame. Sunghoon was quick to shoot a hand under your chin, making you look up at him again.
“We both did. It’s fine.” He reassured with a smile, and you could only do so much as copy it. Silence took over once again, his hand slowly dropping from under your chin, landing on your own. You noticed that Sunghoon was pondering over something, and the mischievous smirk that was forming didn’t help.
You threw your head back in agony. He was getting playful again and you hated loved it.
“Oh boy, what is it now?” you were careful to ask, not sure if you really wanted to know what was on his mind right now. Sunghoon cleared his throat.
“You know, I just think it’s funny that you told me to get laid and then turned out to be the person to do it shortly after.”
Yep, you didn’t want to know what was on his mind. He chuckled and your face ran pale upon hearing him. You groaned in frustration, hiding your face in your hands in embarrassment. Your shy reaction made Sunghoon laugh even harder, throwing his head back in his usual manner and he couldn’t help but tease you a bit since he hadn’t done it in a while. Seeing your agitated look was enough to satisfy him.
You were so immersed that you didn’t notice the wind picking up speed and the clouds thickening. Only when an especially strong breeze almost swept you from the pier did you realize that a storm was coming.
“I think we should go.” Sunghoon nodded in agreement and the moment you got up, you felt the first drop of rain hit your face.
It wasn’t the last one for sure and before you knew it, it was pouring. You quickly came to the conclusion that running to the cabins would be too far, so you opted for the little lifeguard hut near the beach instead. The cold rain hitting you made your legs carry you to the hut even faster, unconsciously intertwining Sunghoon’s hand with yours.
You yelped a little when he pushed you forward, motioning you to hurry up since the rain was hitting you at high speed now. Whatever you expected from tonight, it was not going to bed soaking wet. But it also wasn’t Sunghoon and you to reconcile. You win some, you lose some.
After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached the small veranda in front of the hut. Thankful that the porch had a canopy, you breathed heavily and relaxed against the walls of the house. You glanced at Sunghoon and noticed that he was completely drenched from head to toe. Much to your dismay, you realized that you were just as soaked. But the moment you caught each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but giggle again.
The hopeless romantic in you couldn’t be happier right now. You watched as the rain only poured harder, so you had no choice but to stay under the canopy for a while.
You noticed Sunghoon was struggling with his hair, one strand always falling into his eyes no matter how many times he tried to push it back. You couldn’t help yourself, your hand shooting up towards his face to fix it.
“Here, let me.” You said, fully turning to him while he did the same. Instead of fixing it, you ruffled his hair even more, causing several strands to drop in front of his eyes. Despite the hair covering his eyes, you could feel the unimpressed look he probably gave you. You snickered and proceeded to actually fix his hair this time.
Once you finished tugging his hair back, you noticed how much he was staring at you. You slowly retracted your hand from his hair, trying to decipher his look. Nothing but love, you concluded, and it was confirmed once he opened his mouth to speak.
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. The longing in his eyes almost made you faint and without a second thought, you pushed yourself forward to connect your lips. It took you only a second to melt into him, lips moving like they had always belonged together. Sunghoon’s hands were quick to find your waist again while yours wandered around his neck.
“Closer.” He whispered against your lips, pulling you towards him by your waist, close not being close enough as his lips worked wonders against your own. You were trying to lean back to catch your breath, but Sunghoon didn’t let you, chasing after your lips relentlessly as if he had to make up for something. Your back was arched and Sunghoon towered over you, making you feel even smaller.
You couldn’t help but let your hand wander into his hair, scratching his scalp slightly, which elicited a small gasp from him. Taking the opportunity, you let your tongue slowly dance against his own and he was quick to follow along.
Sunghoon only broke apart from you when he felt like suffocating, pressing his forehead against yours to catch his breath. You opened your eyes slowly, instantly being met with his own. You had never felt so cherished before, so adored. The moment you caught him staring at you with the most loving gaze, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile which he quickly mirrored.
Time seemed to stand still, the rain only a faint background noise as you basked in each other’s presence once again. The kiss and your gazes held so much emotion, so much you two wanted to share with each other earlier but couldn’t. But no matter how chaotic things got at the beginning of the summer, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.
“Do you really think we need to take pictures?” A hushed whisper could be heard from one of the cabins.
“Of course! The others wouldn’t believe us if we just told them.” Another voice responded, almost drowned out completely by the rain.
“We’re going to tease them about this to no end, are we?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
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mrsoftthoughts · 4 months
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Just Some of my headcanons of the Di Angelo(s) in the 30's
(that honestly are pretty delusional but sometimes i just want to think of them as a happy family before the Washington DC event and the lotus casino ok??)
- Maria is the oldest sister of the 3 daughters of the marchese Stéfano Di angelo and her father little gem as the only daughter of his first "marriage" (*Cof* *cof* daughterofVenusMariadiAngelo *Cof*)
- Hades proposed and married Maria because no fucking way that he let a woman of her status being judged for having a long term relationship without a ring and even less having kids with her out of wedlock ( in fact the ring was what make that Persephone don't like Maria, she couldn't care less if only she stayed as her husband girlfriend, i may explain this in another post some day)
- Hades was there for Bianca and Nico while they grow up, living with them during the spring and summer and being always looking up for them in some way during winter , they really got to be a family, Family vacations around Europe, little and silly baking days, Nico and bianca trying to convince the house personal to helping them to spy their parents dates, that kind of things
-Alecto has been the kids babysitter and bodyguard since they were born, her job is just slay anything that it dares to try attack them, even in hades presence in order to him doesn't get distracted from the family activities
-Stéfano really loves his Son-in-law, for him is the son that he never had, he doesn't know that hades is a god, but he's concius that just like his lover he is something non human and that his grand kids are also especial like his daughter, but he doesn't seem in hades the intention of letting behind Maria like Venus do it to him, and Hades is probably the only man wealthy enough and with enough class to be of his liking for his little princess, so he isn't complaining
-And don't make him talk about his grandchilds, because you're gonna be stuck hearing him talk of them for hours, Bianca and Nico are the first since that maria is the only one of his daughters in age to have kids and he couldn't be more happy when the nurses anounced that Nico was a Boy, he may be a girls father but he really wanted a male from his blood, and sice he didn't get a son he was rejoicing for his grandson he really spoiled those little things
- Nico and bianca were homeschooled and The family end up getting the reputation of being "really hard" towards the personal tutors of Bianca and Nico, actually they just dont tolerate the bullshit of entitled people calling their kids stupid or lazy because they couldn't read right lenguajes that weren't romances or Greek... Needs to say, they fired a lot a people until they find people that really were disposed to teach the kids and not just screaming at them ,Even getting people that weren't from Italy for that because their kids only would have the best and would be treated with the respect that they deserved
- Bianca plays the piano, Nico the violin, I'm not elaborating, just trust me
- in fact their music instructors end up being zagreus and macaria, they were introduced to everyone except Maria and the kids as hades cousins because there isn't a logic and no controversial way to say that the full grown adults over there are his children
-Bianca used to have a Best friend, she lived in Switzerland so they only could see each other every once in a while when one of them was allowed to stay with the other for a time, the last thing that the girl know about bianca is that she moved to the US and then... Well, we know what happened there ( in some place in Switzerland there's and old lady that still concerned about what happened to her friend)
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and we are back on the hyperfixation train-
seriously i cannot stop with the never-ending brainrot when it comes to randy cunningham so, if anyone is genuinely interested in seeing more rambles about this show because honestly the gears are turning lol, both due to my incoming crossover and just- things in general?
it’s late, the ideas aren’t flowing as well as i’d like right now, so in the meantime have a series of random headcanons
RC9GN Headcanons
~ Since magic is a thing in the universe, I’ve always envisioned that creatures from Japanese folklore/legends/etc coexist with humans- however they mostly appear in other plane of existence and don’t interact with mortals at all- i know this doesn’t make sense yet but it will,, when it’s not past midnight lol
~ I’m firmly convinced Plop Plop and Howard could be part of the same bloodline (Howard is 100% a descendant of Plop Plop, this is just canon lol i was there i was uhhh, howard’s shirt /lh)
~ this is practically canon but Plop Plop is?? practically immortal?? Could the same apply to the First Ninja? (because he’s now just sort of in the nomicon- like is he technically immortal bc his soul’s trapped in it so to speak)
~ ADHD Randy. Like how could he be anything but? I mean look at him
~ Julian is 100% some breed of ND, as is Howard. I make the rules this is canon now
~ Can I please just have the idea that Randy continues the mantle of being the Ninja post-grad? Like, don’t mind wipe him i’m begging- but also, consider he does forget and then something happens where it triggers his memories back- could make an au out of this but not right now,
~ There’s no way half the characters are straight lmao
~ I just watched the reveal episode and I like to think Viceroy sabotaging the robot because, well, Randy’s 14-
~ absentee parents for Randy- like. how does he get away with half the things he does? where even are his parents
~ Howard clearly has abandonment issues. I seriously need this being a thing more often-
~ caretaker Howard- to what level would the suit protect Randy?? I genuinely think Howard patches Randy up whenever he gets injured bc of literal ROBOTS
~ Randy 100% has self esteem issues?? (living in shooblivion was a perfect example of this-)
~ Heidi also has ADHD
~ Adoptive Parent First Ninja. I will not accept anything less-
~ Randy is a summer child. Howard was born in winter-
~ Game Developer Howard? I need this
~ Randy is a bit of an artist. He can already play instruments- so I say let him know how to dance, maybe not an expert but he knows his moves; also, he can sing- he does vocals in his and Howard’s band
~ not really an hc but if i don’t get more lore for the tengu i might actually go insane lol (what is the connection between the ninja and the demon bird-)
~ so. Randy, this kid- istg if this wasn’t an episodic, lighthearted kids show, he would be so traumatized. ptsd for Randy
~ Asian Randy- I’m not sure which one just yet
~ another Randy hc- I need Randy being a descendant of the Norisu 9-
~ Theresa your crush on Randy is so freaking obvious-
~ SIR, hello?? Not exactly a headcanon but I swear to everything- Randy and Debbie are a disaster waiting to happen. The identity reveal has me screaming, and honestly I wanted more; aka I need a more angsty version of the same episode istg
~ am I the only seeing Mort pseudo-adopting Randy??
~ there will be more to come but not right now- this pup is taking a slumber,, they are eepy
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lisbeth-kk · 5 months
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May Prompts (15) Nightmare
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The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 15)
Summary: Rosie tells us about her family's sanctuary that is 221B, but also about wars over board games. In the end, it's the story about someone else who also needs a safe haven.
Fifteen Years Old
I felt oddly protective of our home from an early age, and I didn’t want it invaded by my friends. Not that I was ashamed of all the bric-a-brac, Papa’s experiments, or how different it was to other homes I’d visited. It was just...our space, a safe haven where we all could lower our guards, Papa in particular. Over the years, his fame had increased exceedingly, and his derisive façade kept journalists and fans at bay. The moment he entered 221B, he discarded said façade by hanging his coat on the peg.
Another thing to consider, were the battles that always ensued whenever one of us challenged the others to a board game. Having an outsider witnessing that…well, we’d surely be sectioned for life if that were to occur. 
(More likely, the person would be granted vicious dreams for eternity.)
But as Papa points out; there’s always something. In this context, someone.  My friend Liwia. Her parents were Polish, and moved to England two years before Liwia was born. They were Catholics, and having to adjust to a society that was more liberal toward queer people than Poland, took its time. When Liwia came out to them as a lesbian the year prior, they’d tried to pin it on her friendship with me. I was after all related to quite a few of the sort and Liwia’s parents seemed to believe the ludicrous lie that queerness was contagious.
It took them some months to get over it, but once they realised that Liwia still was her normal self, they discarded the original idea of sending her to Poland to live with her strictly religious grandparents. Neither of the Barczykowskis was prepared when said grandparents announced that they were visiting London that summer, staying for at least a fortnight. 
***
Dad and I were in the middle of a Scrabble war, when Papa came home. Not that we realised it at the time. We were too engrossed in arguing.
“It’s bloody unfair to use all the medical terms and diseases you can come up with to win, you know!” I exclaimed accusatory.
“Oh, come now, Rosebud,” Dad teased, looking as pleased as the cat that ate the canary.
“Don’t you dare Rosebud me,” I said through clenched teeth. 
Dad only used that pet name when we were at war over the board games, and it rubbed me up the wrong way.
“Children,” Papa chastised, barely able to suppress his glee.
“You’re home,” we said in unison.
I waited for the inevitable eyeroll and his obviously, but none came.
“We have a guest,” Papa said and waved a hand, and that’s when I saw Liwia standing by the sofa wringing her hands, a look of despair in her eyes.
I leapt to my feet and walked over to hug her tight.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered into her hair.
She explained about her grandparents, and with just one look over at Papa, receiving a nod, I turned back to assure my friend that she could stay at Baker Street for as long as she needed, if her biased grandparents started to make her life a living nightmare.
“Thank you, Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson,” Liwia said politely.
I could literally see the relief wash over her, the tension in her shoulders dissipating and a tiny smile forming on her lips.
“Please, call us John and Sherlock,” Dad said. 
Then he turned his attention to me with a devilish grin.
“Does this mean you declare defeat, Rosebud?”
“You wish!” I snarled and left Liwia’s side to go into battle with my father.
(Before you go all bananas on me - this will continue tomorrow...)
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I have a few jumbled thoughts about the ending of the Long Night, especially as it would relate to the whole idea of “the dragon has three heads”. The Long Night represents a disruption in a larger, cyclical framework—a period where imbalance overtakes the natural order. And within this context, I see each ‘head’ of the three-headed dragon as uniquely responsible for restoring balance and bringing the world back into harmony. Each ‘head’ embodies a distinct facet of restoring balance to the world, yet they work together, either in tandem or sequentially, to set things right once more. So I’ve been trying to tie together some thoughts I have regarding what each being in this triumvirate is uniquely suited to do. Because I personally don’t think any one person will be responsible for being the hero, as that just seems so antithetical to this series; and I also think the Long Night is just way too multifaceted to be ended by a singular action or person. 
This is what we know about the Long Night:
“Oh, my sweet summer child,” Old Nan said quietly, “what do you know of fear? Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north.Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides its face for years at a time, and little children are born and live and die all in darkness while the direwolves grow gaunt and hungry, and the white walkers move through the woods.” “You mean the Others,” Bran said querulously. “The Others,” Old Nan agreed. “Thousands and thousands of years ago, a winter fell that was cold and hard and endless beyond all memory of man. There came a night that lasted a generation, and kings shivered and died in their castles even as the swineherds in their hovels. Women smothered their children rather than see them starve, and cried, and felt their tears freeze on their cheeks.” Her voice and her needles fell silent, and she glanced up at Bran with pale, filmy eyes and asked, “So, child. This is the sort of story you like?” “Well,” Bran said reluctantly, “yes, only …” Old Nan nodded. “In that darkness, the Others came for the first time,” she said as her needles went click click click. “They were cold things, dead things, that hated iron and fire and the touch of the sun, and every creature with hot blood in its veins. They swept over holdfasts and cities and kingdoms, felled heroes and armies by the score, riding their pale dead horses and leading hosts of the slain. All the swords of men could not stay their advance, and even maidens and suckling babes found no pity in them. They hunted the maids through frozen forests, and fed their dead servants on the flesh of human children.” (Bran IV, AGoT)
We focus so heavily on the Others—understandably so—that we often overlook some crucial details. The Others don’t exist in isolation. They arrive in the wake of an extreme winter, which enables their existence for they are “demons made of snow and ice and cold” (Samwell V, ASoS). And with the sun and its heat gone, they move within the darkness. So confronting the Others in battle, in and of itself, does not end the Long Night. The true struggle lies in addressing the elements that allow them to exist in the first place. To fully defeat the Others, our heroes must first restore light and the balance of the seasons.
No single character in this series has the ability to achieve this on their own. Even the key magical protagonists are only equipped to address certain aspects of the conflict. That’s why the dragon must have three heads, each embodying a crucial responsibility: one to restore the natural cycle and end the long winter, another uniquely positioned as the antithesis to the Others, and a third tasked with confronting darkness by bringing light back into the world.
By now, you can see where I’m heading with this, right? I believe the three heads are Bran, who represents summer and stands as the antithesis to winter; Daenerys, whose dragons are the direct counter to the Others; and Jon, who occupies a more complex role as both the one who harnesses light and embodies it. Beyond this, each of these characters has been positioned as a chosen one, with distinct yet mirrored magical destinies that set them apart from the other POV characters.
I’m reminded of a quote from Arya’s POV in Dance:
One time, the girl remembered, the Sailor’s Wife had walked her rounds with her and told her tales of the city’s stranger gods. “That is the house of the Great Shepherd. Three-headed Trios has that tower with three turrets. The first head devours the dying, and the reborn emerge from the third. I don’t know what the middle head’s supposed to do….”
While I have more detailed thoughts on this passage, for now, I believe Daenerys represents the first head, Bran the third, and Jon the middle. Each head is tasked with a unique responsibility—one that is specific to them, that the others cannot fulfill. To end the Long Night, the three heads work together, but each plays a distinct part. There is some overlap, particularly with the middle head, who might serve as the balance between the extremes, yet each figure is positioned to occupy a particular space within this framework.
So I want to lay my thoughts here and see if we can get some wider discussion 👀 
The first aspect of the Long Night - and perhaps the most important if we’re thinking of what makes it happen in the first place - is the long winter that precedes it.
Bran looked down. There was nothing below him now but snow and cold and death, a frozen wasteland…  (Bran III, AGoT)
This winter provides the very elements that sustain the Others: snow and ice. It’s this aspect that I believe extends humanity’s struggle during the Long Night. With an almost endless supply of ice and snow, can our heroes truly defeat the Others through direct combat alone? I really don’t think so. The abundance of snow, accompanied by a persistent cold, suggests that new Others can continuously be ‘created’. While this is largely speculative given how little we know about them, I find it compelling that the Others seem to materialize out of the darkness itself (see Prologue, AGoT). And when Sam kills the Other in Storm, it simply dissolves…
Sam rolled onto his side, eyes wide as the Other shrank and puddled, dissolving away. In twenty heartbeats its flesh was gone, swirling away in a fine white mist. Beneath were bones like milkglass, pale and shiny, and they were melting too.
And that might not mean much in and of itself, but I’m inclined to think of the ADWD prologue:
The white world turned and fell away. For a moment it was as if he were inside the weirwood, gazing out through carved red eyes as a dying man twitched feebly on the ground and a madwoman danced blind and bloody underneath the moon, weeping red tears and ripping at her clothes. Then both were gone and he was rising, melting, his spirit borne on some cold wind. He was in the snow and in the clouds, he was a sparrow, a squirrel, an oak. A horned owl flew silently between his trees, hunting a hare; Varamyr was inside the owl, inside the hare, inside the trees. Deep below the frozen ground, earthworms burrowed blindly in the dark, and he was them as well. I am the wood, and everything that’s in it, he thought, exulting. A hundred ravens took to the air, cawing as they felt him pass. A great elk trumpeted, unsettling the children clinging to his back. A sleeping direwolf raised his head to snarl at empty air.
The Other and the human skinchanger dissolving after “death” is so fascinating. And it raises many questions. Death wasn’t the end for Varamyr as his spirit went into his wolf. So is that the same with the Other who also dissolved into white air? As long as magic and suitable conditions (i.e., winter and all its elements) exist, then the Others can never truly die and thus could take on another form?
If that’s the case, then winter itself must be addressed to cut off the Others’ vital resources—along with the magic that sustains them, though we’ll get to that later. And who better to combat winter if not Bran Stark of “Winter-fell”?
Now you know, the crow whispered as it sat on his shoulder. Now you know why you must live. “Why?” Bran said, not understanding, falling, falling. Because winter is coming. […] Bran touched his forehead, between his eyes. The place where the crow had pecked him was still burning, but there was nothing there, no blood, no wound. He felt weak and dizzy. He tried to get out of bed, but nothing happened. And then there was movement beside the bed, and something landed lightly on his legs. He felt nothing. A pair of yellow eyes looked into his own, shining like the sun. The window was open and it was cold in the room, but the warmth that came off the wolf enfolded him like a hot bath. His pup, Bran realized … or was it? He was so big now. He reached out to pet him, his hand trembling like a leaf. When his brother Robb burst into the room, breathless from his dash up the tower steps, the direwolf was licking Bran’s face. Bran looked up calmly. “His name is Summer,” he said.
Bran’s wolf, a reflection of his own identity, only receives his name after Bran glimpses his magical destiny. With winter’s horrors looming, Bran must become the summer that rises to challenge it.
As the Prince of Winterfell, Bran’s title and inheritance—rooted in the Stark legacy from the first Long Night and Bran the Builder—signify a dominance over winter. He is the summer prince, heir to the place where “winter fell, defeated”.
“And who is Summer?” Jojen prompted. “My direwolf.” He smiled. “Prince of the green.”
Prince. The man-sound came into his head suddenly, yet he could feel the rightness of it. Prince of the green, prince of the wolfswood. He was strong and swift and fierce, and all that lived in the good green world went in fear of him. (Bran I, ASoS)
Because winter brings death to the land, summer is needed to restore warmth, vitality, and breathe life back into the world. And that’s why Bran’s identity not just as the “prince of the green”, but as the last of the greenseers (of course once Bloodraven kicks the bucket) puts him in a unique position during the Long Night. 
He will be the one to end the winter.
I’m still piecing together what this might ultimately look like, as we need more information about greenseeing and how Bran may fully harness it. However, from what we do know, it seems greenseeing is extends to earth magic—shaping and manipulating the natural world, as seen with events like the Hammer of the Waters. Additionally, greenseers can perceive past, present, and future, which essentially aligns with the passage of time. And isn’t that what the cyclical nature of the seasons embodies? Time flows, and with it come physical changes in the land: winter brings barrenness, spring rebirth, and summer growth. Humanity needs someone who understands this cycle and possesses the power to influence the earth itself.
Since Bran has already glimpsed the heart of winter, it’s possible he will find himself returning there, perhaps retracing the steps of the last hero. Additionally, the Isle of Faces and the God’s Eye, rich with weirwoods and sacred significance, seem like fitting locations for him to play a pivotal role in restoring balance; especially when we consider his role as a Fisher King/Grail figure who is linked with the renewal of once barren land. Whether Bran has to dig deep into the earth’s roots or manipulate the flow of time itself, the Long Night cannot end without his dominance over winter.
However, while restoring the balance of the seasons is crucial, neutralizing the immediate threat posed by the Others and their thralls is extremely important- and that’s where Dany comes in!
That night she dreamt that she was Rhaegar, riding to the Trident. But she was mounted on a dragon, not a horse. When she saw the Usurper’s rebel host across the river they were armored all in ice, but she bathed them in dragonfire and they melted away like dew and turned the Trident into a torrent. Some small part of her knew that she was dreaming, but another part exulted. This is how it was meant to be. (Dany III, ASoS)
I’ve argued before that, of our three chosen ones, Dany is the best suited to take on the role of military commander—and I don’t think that’s a far-fetched claim. She has one of the cleanest and most impressive military records in the main series, proving herself a formidable tactician. Not to mention, she commands the dragons—living embodiments of fire—who have been positioned as the direct counter to the Others, creatures of ice. While the Others bring cold and death, Dany and her dragons are fire made flesh, a force of life and renewal.
There are other narrative arguments for why Dany’s role is going to be so heavily militaristic. 
Until one day Prince Rhaegar found something in his scrolls that changed him. No one knows what it might have been, only that the boy suddenly appeared early one morning in the yard as the knights were donning their steel. He walked up to Ser Willem Darry, the master-at-arms, and said, ‘I will require sword and armor. It seems I must be a warrior.’” (Dany I, ASoS)
“No one ever looked for a girl,” he said. “It was a prince that was promised, not a princess. Rhaegar, I thought … the smoke was from the fire that devoured Summerhall on the day of his birth, the salt from the tears shed for those who died. He shared my belief when he was young, but later he became persuaded that it was his own son who fulfilled the prophecy, for a comet had been seen above King’s Landing on the night Aegon was conceived, and Rhaegar was certain the bleeding star had to be a comet. What fools we were, who thought ourselves so wise! The error crept in from the translation. Dragons are neither male nor female, Barth saw the truth of that, but now one and now the other, as changeable as flame. The language misled us all for a thousand years. Daenerys is the one, born amidst salt and smoke. The dragons prove it.” (Samwell IV, AFFC)
“Azor Ahai, beloved of R’hllor! The Warrior of Light, the Son of Fire! Come forth […]” (Davos I, ACoK)
Azor Ahai is said to be a warrior, and while Dany doesn’t fit the traditional image of what that means, she is still an active participant in warfare. Moreover, one of the central aspects of her character is her role as an agent of freedom:
“…this Mother of Dragons, this Breaker of Chains, is above all a rescuer.” (Tyrion VI, ADWD)
She has spent much of her arc directly combating slavery which might seem unrelated, but the Others come with their own type of bondage in their creations of undead. The slavery of the Others is not just physical, but spiritual, and Dany’s role in battling them aligns with her fight for freedom. She isn’t suited to combat winter itself, as Bran is, but her strength lies in physical battle, which Bran is not. To put it another way: if Bran is Frodo journeying into the depths of Mordor, Dany is Aragorn, turning Sauron’s eye with her dragons and leading the fight to defeat his armies.
But I don’t think her role ends there. 
The Others are not dead. They are strange, beautiful… think, oh… the Sidhe made of ice, something like that… a different sort of life… inhuman, elegant, dangerous. SSM
I’ve already mentioned that beyond the elements of winter—snow, ice, and cold—the Others are sustained by magic. Building on the idea of the Other dissolving into mist, it’s possible that magic is what binds these beings together: magic fuses a consciousness with snow and ice into a corporeal entity. So, in addition to battling them physically, our heroes—and Dany in particular—may have to confront this magic that gives the Others their form and power.
“Half a year gone, that man could scarcely wake fire from dragonglass. He had some small skill with powders and wildfire, sufficient to entrance a crowd while his cutpurses did their work. He could walk across hot coals and make burning roses bloom in the air, but he could no more aspire to climb the fiery ladder than a common fisherman could hope to catch a kraken in his nets.” Dany looked uneasily at where the ladder had stood. Even the smoke was gone now, and the crowd was breaking up, each man going about his business. In a moment more than a few would find their purses flat and empty. “And now?” “And now his powers grow, Khaleesi. And you are the cause of it.” “Me?” She laughed. “How could that be?” The woman stepped closer and lay two fingers on Dany’s wrist. “You are the Mother of Dragons, are you not?” (Dany III, ACoK)
The birth of Dany’s dragons seems to have strengthened fire magic, tying her deeply to the very fabric of magic itself. The AGoT bookend suggests that the Others’ ice magic and the dragons’ fire magic may be connected, part of a larger magical ecosystem, or perhaps opposing forces that coexist on opposite ends of the spectrum. Ice and fire, death and life—both seem bound by the same mystical forces. Given Dany’s connection to magic and the fact that the reemergence of her dragons parallels the resurgence of the Others, she seems best suited to combat the magic that enables the Others to take form—serving as an inverse to her bringing dragons to life. And this underscores her dual role as both a destroyer and creator of life
The specifics on Dany’s confrontation with the Others and the magic that creates them remains unclear. She could venture to the heart of winter/the Lands of Always Winter and face the source of their power, creating narrative symmetry between the dragons of the Lands of the Long Summer and the creatures from the Lands of Always Winter. Alternatively, she might find herself in the Isle of Faces if her dream of fighting the Others at the Trident is fulfilled literally. The Isle, with its rich magical ecosystem, would be a fitting place for such a climax.
Bran, too, seems destined to go to the Isle of Faces (I’m a firm ‘Bran, King at the Gods Eye’ truther). This could be where their paths cross and their roles intersect. Bran, with his deep connection to nature and time, might provide Dany with guidance on how to engage with magic and influence its effects on the world. With Bran’s knowledge and Dany’s firepower, she could then deliver the final blow. While much of this remains speculative, what is clear is that their roles complement each other.
And that leaves Jon, the “light bringer”.
They said the words together, as the last light faded in the west and grey day became black night. “Hear my words, and bear witness to my vow,” they recited, their voices filling the twilit grove. “Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.” (Jon VI, AGoT)
It’s important to see Jon’s primary function as an extension of his current role. He is a man who watches for the night—a sentinel standing against the encroaching darkness. This role is deeply embedded in his identity, and it’s fascinating to see how it manifests in his prophetic dreams.
It’s black inside, and I can see the steps spiraling down. Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. The old Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps, but it's not them I'm afraid of. I scream that I'm not a Stark, that this isn't my place, but it's no good, I have to go anyway, so I start down, feeling the walls as I descend, with no torch to light the way. It gets darker and darker, until I want to scream." He stopped, frowning, embarrassed. "That's when I always wake." (Jon IV,AGoT)
Last night he had dreamed the Winterfell dream again. He was wandering the empty castle, searching for his father, descending into the crypts. Only this time the dream had gone further than before. In the dark he'd heard the scrape of stone on stone. When he turned he saw that the vaults were opening, one after the other. As the dead kings came stumbling from their cold black graves, Jon had woken in pitch-dark, his heart hammering. (Jon VII, AGoT)
The Winterfell crypt dreams contain many intriguing elements, but I’ll focus primarily on two key motifs: death and darkness.
Jon is the most natural fit for the middle head of the dragon because he exists at the intersection of extremes: light and darkness, destruction and renewal, death and life.
When the spirit stepped out of the open tomb, pale white and moaning for blood, Sansa ran shrieking for the stairs, and Bran wrapped himself around Robb’s leg, sobbing. Arya stood her ground and gave the spirit a punch. It was only Jon, covered with flour. “You stupid,” she told him, “you scared the baby,” but Jon and Robb just laughed and laughed, and pretty soon Bran and Arya were laughing too. (Arya IV, AGoT)
While Bran is connected to summer and warmth through his magical familiar, Jon possesses a unique sensitivity to death, embodied by his bond with Ghost.
He sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs.  Don't be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this. And the tree reached down and touched him.  (Jon VII, ACoK)
Furthermore, Jon’s fate at the end of ADWD implies that through his death and eventual rebirth, he becomes a ghost in his own right—caught between life and death, existing yet not fully alive. This intertwines with his connection to darkness, as Jon straddles the boundary between light and darkness: a shadow.
All in black, he was a shadow among shadows, dark of hair, long of face, grey of eye. (Jon VII, ACoK)
“I can show you.” Melisandre draped one slender arm over Ghost, and the direwolf licked her face. “The Lord of Light in his wisdom made us male and female, two parts of a greater whole. In our joining there is power. Power to make life. Power to make light. Power to cast shadows.” “Shadows.” The world seemed darker when he said it. “Every man who walks the earth casts a shadow on the world. Some are thin and weak, others long and dark. You should look behind you, Lord Snow. The moon has kissed you and etched your shadow upon the ice twenty feet tall.” Jon glanced over his shoulder. The shadow was there, just as she had said, etched in moonlight against the Wall. (Jon VI, ADWD)
Shadows, like ghosts, are echoes of something once tangible. They arise from obstructed light, existing in a realm that is neither completely dark nor wholly bright, hovering between presence and absence. They highlight where light is absent. But shadows also exist only in the presence of light, revealing the delicate boundary between illumination and the lack thereof. 
So building on that idea, it’s significant that Jon’s frequent journeys into the Stark underworld, where death and darkness prevail, take a pivotal turn in ASoS when he becomes vividly aware of light fading in real time.
He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away. He walked deeper into the darkness. "Father?" he called. "Bran? Rickon?" No one answered. A chill wind was blowing on his neck. "Uncle?" he called. "Uncle Benjen? Father? Please, Father, help me." Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark…
This is particularly noteworthy because of a similar, parallel dreams:
That night he dreamed of the feast Ned Stark had thrown when King Robert came to Winterfell. The hall rang with music and laughter, though the cold winds were rising outside. At first it was all wine and roast meat, and Theon was making japes and eyeing the serving girls and having himself a fine time . . . until he noticed that the room was growing darker. The music did not seem so jolly then; he heard discords and strange silences, and notes that hung in the air bleeding. Suddenly the wine turned bitter in his mouth, and when he looked up from his cup he saw that he was dining with the dead. (Theon V, ACoK)
The fires that ran along the blade were guttering out, and Jaime remembered what Cersei had said. No. Terror closed a hand about his throat. Then his sword went dark, and only Brienne’s burned, as the ghosts came rushing in. (Jaime VI, ASoS)
The ASoS crypt dream runs parallel to Theon’s ACoK dream and Jaime’s ASoS dream, with a common element: the presence of death and growing darkness.
While the crypts are inherently dark, Jon perceives when other sources of light are extinguished—true to his role in the Night’s Watch, which is to keep vigil against encroaching darkness. This ability to sense the fading light underscores his ghostly nature, where he reflects light while simultaneously existing in a state of absence. It also highlights his role as a shadow, existing in the blending of light and darkness. As both a shadow and a ghost, he can navigate these dual states, acting within the world’s transitions between day and night.
Which brings us to what I consider a continuation of Jon VII; while that chapter is marked by a lack of light, this next chapter is characterized by an abundance of it:
Burning shafts hissed upward, trailing tongues of fire. Scarecrow brothers tumbled down, black cloaks ablaze. ‘Snow,’ an eagle cried, as foemen scuttled up the ice like spiders. Jon was armored in black ice, but his blade burned red in his fist. As the dead men reached the top of the Wall, he sent them down to die again. He slew a greybeard, a beardless boy, a giant, a gaunt man with filed teeth, and a girl with thick red hair. Too late he recognized Ygritte. She was gone as quick as she’d appeared. The world dissolved into a red mist. (Jon XII, ADWD)
At some point between these two dreams, Jon found (or even created) light and he wields it as a weapon. And it’s clear that Jon’s sword in this dream is the actual manifestation Azor Ahai’s Lightbringer:
“In ancient books of Asshai it is written that there will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour, a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him.” (Davos I, ACoK)
Lightbringer has two major requirements: to give off heat and to illuminate. Jon’s sword does both!
We’ve seen a number Lightbringer-esque weapons (e.g., Beric’s and Thoros’), but Stannis Baratheon’s sword is the most intriguing proxy.
Davos knelt, and Stannis drew his longsword. Lightbringer, Melisandre had named it; the red sword of heroes, drawn from the fires where the seven gods were consumed. The room seemed to grow brighter as the blade slid from its scabbard. The steel had a glow to it; now orange, now yellow, now red. The air shimmered around it, and no jewel had ever sparkled so brilliantly. But when Stannis touched it to Davos’s shoulder, it felt no different than any other longsword. “Ser Davos of House Seaworth,” the king said, “are you my true and honest liege man, now and forever?” (Davos IV, ASoS)
While Stannis’ sword is visually dazzling, it is, in essence, a well-made fake. Its bright glow meets one of the two requirements for “light-bringer”, yet its impressive variety of hues with no actual heat serve as a clue that it is not the true sword of heroes. When the world cloaked in darkness, a weapon that shines as brightly as the sun is undoubtedly a powerful symbol. And Stannis’ sword is bright….
….but it’s almost too bright. His sword emits the wrong kind of light—one that is all glamor with little substance. This great conflict is referred to as the “war for the dawn”. So what humanity needs is a reminder of the dawn itself:
As a red dawn broke in the east, Grey Wind began to howl again. (Catelyn X, AGoT)
A swollen red sun hung low against the western hills when the gates of the castle opened. (Catelyn IX, AGoT)
Dawn and the sun are often associated with red hues in the text, a color heavily tied to fire (e.g., House Targaryen and R’hllor). Stannis’ sword gives off light, but it lacks the essence of true warmth. In contrast, Jon’s sword is the real Lightbringer: it is hot enough to burn against the cold and it radiates the actual red hues of dawn, thus illuminating the world around it.
Jon’s role as the archetypal fantasy protagonist necessitates a magic sword—Lightbringer will be his Excalibur; his Anduril. But more than just being a weapon, his Lightbringer symbolizes the transition from darkness to light. Dawn, a moment of transformation, begins with deep red hues that retain the shadows of night before blooming into the full brightness of the sun. Like the early dawn, Jon straddles the line between night and day, existing between life and death, darkness and light. As the middle dragon head, he embodies balance.
I’m not really sure how that plays out in the endgame; hell, I still can’t figure out how Jon will “forge” Lightbringer in the first place. But he has to end up somewhere for his arc to reach its magical climax. I’ve speculated that Bran and Dany might find themselves at the Isle of Faces or the heart of winter. The latter is a strong possibility for Jon, especially if he too recreates the last hero’s journey; not to mention his connections to snow and winter. But he could also return to the Wall, a mighty structure that symbolizes the boundary between life and death. The Wall is also imbued with ancient magic that radiates outward (e.g., strengthening Mel’s magic and prolonging Maester Aemon’s life). Therefore, it could serve as the ideal location for Jon to reignite and wield the light that has long been hidden.
Though Bran, Jon, and Dany each have distinct roles in restoring balance, their actions are deeply intertwined, with shared themes across their arcs. Jon and Bran connect through their existence in darkness, as seen in their ACoK dreams. All three share connections to death: Bran inhabits the realm of the dead (Mel I, ADWD; Jon’s ACoK wolfdream), Jon embodies a ghost-like nature that straddles life and death, and Dany is called the “bride of fire, daughter of death”. Additionally, Jon and Bran are linked to winter, and both Jon and Dany share the legacy of Azor Ahai and Lightbringer, with dragon breath also echoing the red hues of dawn. Together, they are not just separate forces but three heads of the same dragon, working in concert to ensure that the Long Night ends and the cycle of life and death continues.
TL;DR:
The dragon has three heads, each with a unique role in maintaining the cycle of balance, despite their overlaps in common themes. Bran, the Prince of Winterfell, embodies summer and inherits the legacy of the kings of winter, making him the most suited to confront the Long Night’s origin: winter itself. The Long Night cannot end without Bran’s triumph, as winter represents death while summer signifies new life. Dany, linked to the ebb and flow of magic and the direct antithesis of the Others, is best positioned to engage them in battle and counteract the ice magic that enables their existence. As the perfect manifestation of fire magic, she serves as a powerful weapon, embodying the theme of destruction by being “breaker of chains”. Meanwhile, Jon straddles the boundaries of light and dark, life and death, destruction and creation. His unique position allows him to navigate these extremes, bringing forth the lost light while holding back the consuming darkness. As the embodiment of balance—dead yet alive, icy yet fiery—he ensures the proper equilibrium between these forces.
Dragons, symbols of life, fire, and summer, starkly contrast with the cold death represented by winter and its children. Daenerys, as the Mother of Dragons, embodies the nurturing aspect of life, actively bringing forth new existence by counteracting suspended states of life (e.g., awakening dragon eggs and freeing slaves). Bran, representing youthful vitality, symbolizes young life that is both born and maturing. Jon occupies a unique position in the middle; he is like spring, a new life emerging from darkness, akin to an awakened dragon—life once petrified but now revitalized. Together, these three form a multifaceted dragon that embodies various dimensions of life, each contributing uniquely to the fight against the Long Night.
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luvrodite · 1 year
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THINGS WE LEFT UNSAID JASON TODD
↳ patching him up and all that passes, unsaid
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This is an old song and dance, you know it well.
The creak of your living room window draws you from your dreams, sleep bursting like a bubble with the first rattle of the windowpane. You are asleep, and then you are not, so swiftly carried between realms you can barely register it. You lie in bed, staring through bleary eyes at the ceiling as the sounds of your monthly late night visitor filters through the walls. 
A muffled thud of boots knocking against the window sill. There’ll be dirt there in the morning, a size 13 boot print that’ll return a month after you wipe it away. Glass rattles, and you know he’s hit his shoulder–clumsy, tonight, but there’s no shatter. It’s bad, but you’ve borne worse.
A grumble of your name is your cue, and you slip from the sheets. Summer air filters in through the open window when you enter, a thick, stifling heat that clouds around your skin, smoke and rain and chemical scented. 
You reach for the first aid kit, kept on a side table in the hallway, and move to close the window first. The lump on your couch breathes through his mouth in shallow pants, almost drowned out by the sound of traffic below–even after midnight, this part of the city is loathe to rest, high pitched laughter and squeals of amusement raising up above the fog. 
“Did I wake you?”
You shrug, taking a seat on the coffee table. Jason’s knee brushes against yours, and you ignore it in favour of setting the kit by your side. 
“It’s fine. Shirt off, please.”
On good nights, he meets you with a poorly delivered “Buy me dinner, first.” Tonight, he’s silent, and you can feel your chest tighten when he grimaces trying to lift his arm. There’s a dark liquid seeping through the fabric and you can smell the gunmetal on him.
You’ve borne worse. 
He’s been in worse shape.
But still your eyes grow hot when you lean to assist him and the smell of copper settles on your tongue. There is so much red, smeared along the curve of his bicep, and your hands shake when you reach for the cloth tucked in the kit, standing to wet it in the sink. Your legs feel weak beneath you, a constant threat to give under you with every step between the couch and the sink.
The towel is no longer as it had been when you’d first bought it, alabaster replaced by an off white from the frequent washes. A speck of brown from where you could never quite get the blood to wash off remains on its care tag, staining the black lettering. 
The wound has mostly stopped bleeding, you figure out once you look past all the blood, but you hold it there anyway, taking your seat on the edge of the table once more. Your eyes follow the slow way it stains, red seeping into the fabric in a slow diffusion. 
“You hurt anywhere else?” your voice is raspy, and you don’t meet his eyes when you ask. 
“Just a few scrapes,” he rumbles. His fingers twitch in your peripheral vision, tapping against his thigh anxiously. “Pretty much healed already.”
You nod, biting your tongue as you lift the cloth. 
“This should be fine, soon,” you manage to string together, adding an unsure, “I think. Could be worse.”
He breathes out a tired sigh. “Lucky I’ve got you to stitch me up.”
You don’t know what it is, only that one moment you’re dabbing away the blood and the next you’re snapping at him. Maybe it’s something in his tone, weary and yet still teasing–does he not understand the gravity of the situation? Your fingers are stained with his blood. 
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just stop being so reckless,” you snap, and he stills under you when you meet his eyes, angry heat flooding your face as everything you’ve kept under a lid comes rushing to the surface. 
“Would it kill you to take a second to think before you act?” you ream him out as you reach for the ointment. “This isn’t a joke you know?”
You know it’s over when your breath stutters, a hitch in the quiet of your apartment that sounds too loud to your ears for your liking, too much like a sob. Jason stays silent, and you find yourself loathing the look in his eyes, teal softened around the edges, bearing the brunt of your anger. 
The both of you are aware this isn’t a result of carelessness. Jason hasn’t been reckless in years–his anger is a cold, calculated thing, burning low and steady but never uncontrolled. You wish you were so measured.
You can’t stop yourself from bleeding out alongside him, words like knives thrown from your lips as you grow more and more worked up. Your eyes burn, your hands shake, the bandage trembling between your fingers as you wrap it around his arm. 
He doesn’t say a word through it all, only watching you with eyes too knowing, fingertips a whisper away from your bare knees but never touching. You don’t know what you’d do if he did. 
When the last of it is done and all that’s left is the bloody cloth on your coffee table, you swallow down the words you’ve left unsaid and nod at him. 
“Couch is yours, if you want it,” you offer hoarsely, standing. You don’t look at him as you return the kit to its rightful place, shame-faced and retreating. You’ve no bravery tonight, having shown too much of your hand.
“Yeah,” he sighs out. 
The click of your bedroom door feels like the turn of a key, something of a mountainous wall erected between you and your living room. 
In the morning all there’s left of him is the blood in your rug, two drops by the leg of your coffee table. You know they’ll be there when he returns again, just another mark he’s left behind that you won’t be able to remove.
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i don't know. this popped into my head and i was just thinking about how hard it would be to have this relationship with him knowing the both of you can't ever be together but neither of you are willing to save yourselves the pain that comes with being in contact. just. all the things that you can never say
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