#went through a weird sad phase this week

[artsymeeshee]

run away, boys!

[skzstoryvault]

A Cloud with Legs

Starring: Hyunjin Summary:  One day when you were five, you met a boy who was drawing alone in the sand. Twenty years later, he decided all his drawings are for you. Warnings: sappy, sappy stuff. Tags: gender neutral reader, childhood best friends to lovers, teary reunion. clumsiness.

Note: A day will come when the courage of men fails - wait, no, hold up, Aragorn. I mean, a day will come when I can crank out my smutty stories again, but right now I am in my romantic phase and I fully blame one Hyunjin for it. I might write a couple more stories on the same topic, simply because it feels so good to imagine being close to Hyunjin as a friend, so close that it feels safe to move on to another kind of closer. Rating: 16+

Divider from: emojicombos.com/divider

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You met him in a garden, one of those early spring afternoons that smelled like possibility.

He was five. So were you.

It was someone else’s birthday party, full of sugar-smeared faces and loud music, but he’d wandered off, quiet and distant, to a patch of sun-dappled grass beneath a blooming camellia. He wasn’t playing. Just dragging a stick through the dirt, drawing something — a dragon, he said.

You sat beside him, knees knocking.

“It looks like a cloud with legs,” you told him honestly.

He’d blinked at you, then laughed — a startled, delighted sound that filled your whole chest. You didn’t know then what it meant, but something had clicked into place. You became his person. And he became yours.

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For years, you were the only one who knew how deeply he felt things. Not just sadness, but beauty. In shadows and stray cats. In dance. In art. In everything.

Other kids found him too intense. Too emotional. Too weird, sometimes. But not you. You made space for the parts of him that didn’t fit elsewhere. He gave you his trust in pieces—quiet conversations, shared snacks, doodles with your names entwined in the margins. You gave him your entire heart before you even knew what that meant.

By the time he was scouted, you were already part of his bones.

He almost didn’t audition. He told you he was scared. Of being seen too much. Of being loved for the wrong things.

But you said, “If they see even a part of you, they'll be lucky.”

So he went.

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And then it started.

You watched him disappear into the machine — the long nights, the aching limbs, the masks they made him wear.

You watched him debut.

Suddenly, Hyunjin belonged to everyone.

You watched fans fall in love with his face, his voice, the way he moved like silk and lightning. The world wanted him. Needed him. But as he got brighter, you saw something dim in his eyes.

He stopped texting back right away. Not out of neglect, but exhaustion. Or confusion.

He’d call you late, after schedules. You’d ask how he was.

“I’m okay,” he’d always say, too fast.

But then there were nights he didn’t hang up. He’d just breathe into the phone while you listened to the silence between his thoughts.

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be,” he whispered once.

“You’re Hyunjin,” you’d answered. “And that’s enough.”

But still, you felt him slipping. Like a painting you couldn’t touch anymore.

And then—you left. School. Abroad. A chance you couldn’t say no to. He didn’t stop you. He didn’t cry. He just hugged you too tight and said, “Write to me.”

You did. At first. Then life happened. Weeks turned into months.

And without you, he hardened.

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He learned how to pose just right. How to smile when he felt hollow. How to nod through interviews and brush off invasive questions with laughter that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

He had his members. They loved him — deeply, truly. But even they didn’t get to see the boy under the glamour. The one who cried at things he remembered. The one who danced not for applause, but because it was the only thing that ever made him feel real.

He told himself he was fine. Until the nights when he wasn't.

There were times he’d stare at the city skyline from his dorm room, lips parted like he might speak your name just to hear it in the dark. But he never did.

Instead, he painted you. In sketches. In dreams. Always just out of reach.

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And now — years later — you're back.

You’re older. Wiser, maybe. Looking more put together in cashmere turtlenecks and two piece suits. But still yourself. Still his in some impossible way.

You don’t plan on seeing him. It doesn’t seem fair. You’re not sure if he even thinks of you anymore.

But Seoul is small when fate has an agenda.

It happens on a gray afternoon in Hongdae. You’re tucked under a shop’s awning as a soft drizzle falls. Your umbrella broke. You're shivering. Late. Lost in thought.

And then— "…No."

The voice is hoarse. Familiar. A bit nasal. Your name, spoken like a prayer and a curse all at once.

You look up.

He’s standing there, across the narrow street, soaked and breathless. His hoodie clings to his frame. His lips are parted like he can’t believe you’re real.

And then he’s moving.

He doesn’t stop to speak. He just pulls you into his arms so fast, you barely catch your breath. His grip is desperate, full-body, crushing. You feel him tremble.

His face burrows into your neck. You hear it before you feel it — a broken sound, something like a sob strangled in his throat.

“Hyunjin,” you whisper, stunned, arms rising to hold him. He winces and snuffles into your shoulder. “So cruel! You hate me now?” “Sorry, sorry Jinnie. I thought… I’m no longer allowed that close.” You say, doubt in your voice.

He doesn’t move. Doesn’t let go. He shakes his head like he’s trying to wake up and pulls you in even close, like he’s trying to hide you in his chest.

“I thought I was okay,” he says, voice muffled against your skin. “I thought I didn’t need you anymore. But I was wrong. I’ve been living without my heart.”

He pulls back, just enough to look at you. His eyes — still so full of light, even through tears — search your face like he's afraid you’ll vanish.

“I didn’t know how much I missed you until I saw you again. And now—now I can’t pretend anymore.”

Your breath hitches. You can’t find words.

“I know it’s crazy,” he says, voice shaking. “I’m... public now. Messy. I don’t even know what I’d ask of you. But I—God, I love you. I have. Since we were five.”

His chest rises and falls like he’s just leapt off a ledge.

“I don’t know if you love me back. Or if it’s worth it. But I had to tell you. Because not saying it hurts more than anything else ever could.”

You step closer. Your hand lifts to cup his jaw, damp with rain and tears. His eyes flutter shut under your touch.

“I never stopped,” you whisper.

His eyes open. And you’re close. So close your breath mingles.

Then — as if the years never happened — he kisses you.

Not carefully. Not politely.

But like a dam breaking.

Like finding home again.

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Later, in the quiet of his apartment, you lie tangled on his couch, limbs entwined. He brushes your hair back, kisses your collarbone like he’s writing his name there.

You ask if he’s afraid.

“Terrified,” he says, lips brushing your shoulder. “But if I lose you again, I won’t survive it.”

You look at him — really look.

And you say, “Then don’t.”

And he doesn’t.

Not ever again.

You don’t mean to stay the night.

You’re still in your rain-damp clothes. Still shaking from the kiss outside. Still unsure if this is real or some memory your heart conjured just to survive.

But Hyunjin won’t let go of your hand.

Not even when you step inside his apartment and instinctively move to take your shoes off. His fingers are still laced with yours like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he blinks. He’s quieter now, the intensity of the street moment replaced by a soft, trembling kind of presence.

He sits on the couch beside you. Legs drawn up. Hair drying in wild waves around his face.

You expect him to say something poetic, something grand.

But instead, he whispers, “Can I—can I just… sit here with you?”

So you do.

You sit there, side by side in the quiet, your thighs touching. And you breathe. For the first time in a long time, it feels like enough.

Then, somewhere between midnight and dawn, the dam breaks.

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“I didn’t know how to be happy,” he says, voice rough from use and silence. “When you were gone, I mean.”

He turns his head, looks at you sideways. “They say I’m successful. That I’ve made it. And sometimes I believe them. But… most days, I feel like I’m performing even when I’m alone.”

You swallow hard. Your thumb traces the line of his knuckle. “You always gave too much of yourself away.”

“I didn’t know how else to survive it,” he admits.

You talk for hours like that — not rushing, not hiding. It’s like unwrapping wounds you both forgot you had. A slow, quiet unveiling of years spent misunderstood.

He tells you about crying in dressing rooms. About smiling through panic attacks. About pretending every fan’s love was enough to fill the hollow your absence left behind.

You tell him how empty the world felt without him in it. How no one else saw you, not really. How you’d stare at his pictures online and feel both proud and sick with longing, because the boy you knew was there, but caged. How, other times, you’d despair and tell yourself the Hyunjin you knew was gone, crushed in the fame machine.

At some point, he curls into you — his cheek pressed to your thigh as you sit cross-legged — and just breathes. His arms wrap around your waist like you’re the gravity that finally brought him back to earth.

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” he murmurs.

“You’re not.”

“But what if I mess this up?” he says, voice cracking. “What if I… damage you?”

You touch his hair, thread your fingers through the golden-brown strands still damp from earlier rain. “Then we figure it out. Slowly. Together.”

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By the time the sun starts to rise, neither of you have slept.

You’re both lying on the floor now, a blanket beneath you, limbs half-tangled, cheeks flushed from shared laughter and too many confessions.

He’s on his side, facing you, blinking slowly as the first light spills through the window.

“You’re still so beautiful,” he says, like it hurts. “Too beautiful, it messes with my mind.” 

You laugh softly. “You’re one to talk. And still so, so dramatic.”

He hides his face in your arm with a groan. “You’re mean.”

“And you love it.”

“I do,” he admits, muffled. “God, I do.”

He lifts his head slowly. The light catches his face—his eyes swollen from emotion, lips chapped, hair a wild halo.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admits, voice trembling. “I want to kiss you. I want to touch you. But I’m scared if I do it wrong, it’ll feel off and drive you away from me forever. And this... this is right. This is you.”

You lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth, so gently it feels like a promise.

“You can’t do it wrong,” you whisper. “We have forever to get it right.”

That makes something in him break in the best way. His eyes fill again — soft, helpless tears — and he kisses you with the weight of all the years he couldn’t. His lips caress yours before his tears can stain your cheeks. It’s messy. A little awkward. Teeth bump. His hand fumbles at your jaw before settling, warm and trembling.

But it's perfect.

It’s real.

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You don’t rush.

You guide him gently. “Here,” you say, moving his hand. “Slower.” And he listens like he’s learning a sacred language.

There’s laughter, breathless and shy, when his hoodie gets stuck over his head and you help him tug it off, both of you grinning like kids again.

There’s reverence when he touches your bare skin for the first time, his fingers hesitant, his voice breaking: “You’re so soft. I—Is this okay?”

You nod. You kiss his knuckles. You tell him, “Everything about you is okay.”

He worships you with his whole body. Not out of lust alone — but devotion. The kind of love that’s patient. That doesn’t need to rush to the finish. The kind that just wants to be here. With you. Inside of the moment you’ve both waited a lifetime for.

And when you finally fit together, slow and clumsy, he breathes out your name like a prayer.

You don’t hide. There’s no darkness to tuck yourselves into.

The sun is up now — warm and golden, filling the apartment.

You make love in full daylight, everything visible, nothing veiled.

And afterward, your legs tangled together, your breaths syncing like waves, he strokes your spine with lazy fingers.

“I don’t deserve you,” he murmurs.

“You do,” you say simply. “You always have.”

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You fall asleep like that — in the light, in each other’s arms, no lies left between you.

And when you wake, sometime mid-morning, Hyunjin is watching you with the softest smile.

“Hey,” he whispers. “Stay. Please.”

You press your forehead to his.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

And you mean it.

Because this time, you’re home. And so is he.

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You notice it that morning — the shift.

Hyunjin has always moved with purpose, even in rest. But today, he’s fidgeting.

He’s dressed simply — soft oversized sweater, silver rings on his long fingers, hair pushed behind his ears. But he keeps adjusting things. Tugging at the hem of his sleeves. Bouncing his knee.

You’re sitting at his kitchen counter, sipping tea he made for you. His apartment still smells faintly like you. Like you two. The night still hums in the space between your bodies.

“Hyune,” you ask gently. “What is it?”

He stops pacing.

Then sighs. Runs both hands through his hair, eyes wide like a cornered cat.

“I want them to meet you.”

Your heart skips.

“Your members?” you ask, though you already know.

He nods. “They’re my family. And I—I want you to be part of that too.”

You stand, walk over. Place your hand over his chest. His heart is pounding.

“Then let’s go.”

He blinks. “Just like that?”

“You love me. I love you. They love you. I’m not scared.”

“But I am,” he says quietly. “Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and if they don’t like you, or they think we’re moving too fast, or—”

“Hyunjin,” you interrupt, cupping his jaw, “if they don’t like me, that’s their loss. But I know they will. Because I love you like they love you. And I know how much they mean to you. I’m not here to compete. I’m here to add.”

That silences him. Something in his throat moves. He swallows hard. And then he kisses you — brief, tender, forehead pressed to yours.

“Okay,” he breathes. “Okay. Let’s go.”

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The dorm is warm and loud even before you knock.

You hear voices — laughter, something clattering in the kitchen. And then the door swings open.

Lee Know stands there, a wooden spoon in hand. His eyebrow arches when he sees you.

You half expect a challenge.

But his mouth softens. “Oh,” he says. “So this is the one.”

You don’t have time to wonder what that means — because Hyunjin is already dragging you inside, fingers clenched tightly in yours like a lifeline.

“Guys,” he calls out, voice a little higher than usual. “Uh. Can I…? I need to introduce someone.”

They all come out.

Bang Chan, kind-eyed and already smiling. Han, who does a double take before grinning like he’s won a bet. Felix, who claps his hands and bounces on his toes. Seungmin, who squints at you like he’s assessing a museum piece. Changbin, who gives Hyunjin a look that’s 80% teasing and 20% something softer. And I.N, who just gasps and goes, “FINALLY. Well done, hyung.”

It’s overwhelming, but not in a bad way. Like walking into a room full of older brothers you didn’t know you had.

Hyunjin is visibly vibrating.

“I—this is…” he stammers. “They are mine.” Then winces. “I mean—my person. My—We’re a thing. We are the  thing. From before. Since forever. I—”

You touch his back.

He exhales, steadies himself.

“I love them,” he finishes, quietly. “They’re the best part of my life. And I want them in this part, too.”

There’s a pause.

Then Bang Chan steps forward first. He holds out his hand, but there’s warmth in his eyes — deep, paternal.

“Welcome,” he says. “If Hyunjin trusts you, we trust you.”

Felix hugs you next, without asking. “He never shuts up about you. You were always a myth to us.”

Changbin laughs. “He once cried at dinner talking about how you made him soup when he had the flu in middle school. So yeah. We’ve all kinda been rooting for this.”

You laugh with them — but when you look at Hyunjin, he’s quiet again. Watching you, shoulders hunched, waiting.

You walk back to him. You take both his hands.

And in front of them all, you kiss his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

His whole body softens. He turns his face into your palm and exhales. His friends see it too — the way you settle him, anchor him. Something unspoken passes between the members, a shared understanding.

Love like this? It's rare.

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Later, as everyone eats together and stories fly around the room, Hyunjin sits beside you, one hand always on you — your back, your knee, your hand under the table.

He leans in, lips brushing your temple.

“They like you,” he whispers.

“I like them.”

He smiles, eyes shining. “I feel… full. For the first time in years. Like all my worlds finally live in the same place.”

You kiss his jaw. “You’ve always deserved that.”

And in a room full of warmth, food, and found family, Hyunjin rests his head on your shoulder and breathes you in.

For once, nothing is missing.

He has his family.

He has his heart.

And he has you.

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It's after the dorm visit, after a quiet dinner back at his apartment where you both kept smiling for no reason other than this is real now. He’s different tonight — less fidgety, more solemn. Like something's been building in his chest, and he's finally ready to let it rise.

He disappears for a minute while you’re curled up on his couch, blanket around your legs, fingers cradling a warm mug. When he returns, he’s carrying a heavy leather sketchbook, and something even more fragile in his eyes.

“I’ve never shown anyone this,” he says, sitting beside you, holding it on his lap like it’s made of glass. “Not even the guys.”

Your heart slows with gravity. You reach out and rest your hand over his.

“I want to see.”

He opens it.

The first page is a pencil sketch of a figure in a garden. You know that moment — it's the birthday party where you met, five years old and barefoot, his curls wild and your cheeks sticky with icing.

“I don’t remember all the details,” he murmurs. “But I remember you smiled at me like I wasn’t too much.”

Page after page, he takes you through your own mythology — drawn from memory and longing. You see yourself at ten, at sixteen, laughing at something off-page. You see your own hands holding sunflowers, your eyes watching the sky. There are entire pages of nothing but your silhouette from behind — sitting, walking, waiting.

Each one aches with missing.

“I used to draw you when I was overseas, when I couldn’t sleep,” he says. “It was the only thing that made me feel like I hadn’t lost you completely.”

He flips to a page halfway through the book. It’s a messier drawing — charcoal and ink — a city street at night. He gestures at it.

“This,” he says, “was the night I wrote ‘So Good’.”

You blink.

“The viral hit song?”

He nods. “It was a bad week. Schedules were endless, I was exhausted, and... it hit me that if I bumped into you on the street, I might not even recognize you. That maybe you’d moved on, forgotten me. But I couldn’t bear the weight of that thought, so I tried to flip it. I imagined meeting you again. Just—randomly. No pain. Just... joy.”

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes far away.

“I pictured grabbing your hand, dragging you all over town. Dessert cafés, weird fusion restaurants, trashy convenience store ramen. Trying everything. Laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to write that feeling. To pretend, even for three minutes, that life could be so good again.”

You feel tears build, thick and warm.

“And,” he adds, voice cracking, “I wanted Stay to feel it too. Even if I couldn’t have you, I wanted them to have happiness. I wanted someone, somewhere, to believe life could still surprise them with something sweet.”

You wipe your cheek with the back of your hand.

“Hyunjin... you gave all your joy away.”

He looks down, ashamed. “It was the only thing I had left.”

You set your mug aside and take the sketchbook from his lap. Set it gently on the table. Then you reach for him, both hands on either side of his face.

“You don’t have to give it away anymore. I’m here now. I want to build joy with you.”

He lets out a breath that sounds like surrender. Then buries his face against your neck, arms tight around your waist.

“I was so scared,” he whispers. “That I was too late. That I’d made art out of a ghost.”

You hold him. Rock him slightly, like you’re grounding him back into his body.

“I’m not a ghost,” you say. “I never left you. I was always carrying you too. In little memories. In songs I couldn’t listen to. In cities that didn’t have your laugh in them.”

He lifts his head. There’s something undone in his face, something new — not longing, but belonging.

“I wrote you into everything,” he says. “And now I want to write you into this. Into my present. Into my future.”

You lean in and kiss him — soft, slow, no ache this time.

And when you pull back, you say, “Then start now.”

He grabs a pencil from the floor, rips a fresh page from the back of the sketchbook, and without looking down, begins to sketch.

You laugh. “What are you doing?”

He grins.

“Drawing the first moment I ever believed I could be happy again.”

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You wake up tangled in the morning, in sheets that smell like warmth and cinnamon, to the softest version of Hyunjin — hoodie half-zipped, sleep lines on his cheek, hair a lazy waterfall of silk down his back. He’s standing by the window, phone in hand, humming to himself.

You rub your eyes. “What time is it?”

“Late enough to be free,” he grins, and walks over, climbs into bed like it’s gravity pulling him back to you. “I cleared the day. No rehearsals. No shoots. Just us.”

“Us,” you repeat, sleep-drunk and smiling. “And what do we do with us?”

His eyes sparkle.

“We do the trip.”

You blink. “The—what?”

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The day starts with pastries from a tiny café in Seongsu — one with a lavender door and desserts that look like miniature art pieces. You each order something too sweet and unpronounceable and sit on the sidewalk curb like teenagers, knees bumping as powdered sugar drips onto your fingers.

Hyunjin feeds you a bite of his pastry, and you laugh so hard when the cream smears on your nose that you nearly choke. He kisses it off without a word, then giggles into your mouth like he can’t believe he’s allowed to do that now.

Next stop: coffee. But not just any coffee. Ridiculous, experimental ones — rose petal lattes, tiramisu espressos, iced black with lemon and glitter dust. You both pretend to be connoisseurs, rating them like wine.

“This one tastes like heartbreak at a perfume counter,” you say, after a sip.

“This one is what regret would drink if it was glamorous,” Hyunjin declares, swishing it like a sommelier.

You make each other laugh so hard, the barista gives you two extra biscotti on the house and mutters, “Just for being cute.”

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As the sun starts to lower, you wander into a side street and find a tiny food cart with steaming tteokbokki. The ajumma running it recognizes Hyunjin almost instantly — eyes widening, hand flying to her mouth — but then she spots you beside him, and something in her expression shifts.

She says nothing, only gives him the biggest serving.

He thanks her with a low bow, then turns to you, holding out chopsticks like a prize. “The final boss,” he says solemnly. “Spicy, messy, no napkins.”

You grin. “You’re on.”

You eat standing, laughing between bites, sauce on your lips, your fingers red and sticky, his hoodie cuff somehow stained. And still — he’s never looked happier.

People pass by. Some double-take. A few recognize him. One girl whispers, “Hyunjin?” in awe. He gives a polite nod, but his eyes are only on you.

“Does it bother you?” he asks later, when you’re walking along the river, shoes in hand.

You look at him. The face people worship, softened now by the golden blur of sunset.

“Being seen with you?” you ask. “Not even a little.”

He stops walking.

You stop with him.

“I used to dream about this day,” he says. “And it always ended bittersweet. I’d imagine it perfectly — then remember I’d wake up alone. That it wasn’t real.”

You step closer.

“It is now.”

“I know,” he breathes, and takes your face in his hands like a man anchoring himself to something holy. “But every time I look at you, I still have to fight the instinct to memorize you. Like I’ll blink and lose it all again.”

You touch his chest. His heartbeat is fast.

“Then memorize me,” you say. “But only so you can tell me all the details when we’re eighty.”

He laughs. It cracks through him — bright and reckless.

“You’re dangerous,” he murmurs.

“And you’re overdue for everything good.”

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Later, the moon is up, and the streets are quieter. You lie side by side on a picnic blanket you picked up impulsively, under fairy lights in a hidden park neither of you had ever noticed before.

Hyunjin’s hand finds yours.

“I spent years trying to write joy from pain,” he says softly. “But this… this is what joy actually feels like.”

You nod.

“Messy. Loud. Sweet. Shared.”

He turns on his side, props his head on his hand.

“Promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“When it stops being new… when the sparkle fades and we’re just two people arguing about laundry… promise me we’ll still do this sometimes.”

“This?”

“This,” he says. “Food and laughter and streetlights. Kisses with sauce still on our lips. Choosing sweetness. Even when we’re tired. Especially then.”

You lean in and kiss him.

He tastes like sticky sugar and spiced glaze and the kind of forever you don’t need to write songs about — because you’re living it.

“I promise.”

°°°end°°°

[ally1uvsu]

Someday I’ll get it. | Choi Su-bong (Thanos) x Nam-gyu

⨉⠀⠀─⠀⠀Series .⠀›⠀Trans Namgyu Week 2025⠀‎ꪆৎ day 4; pregnancy — Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3

·⠀warnings info⠀· NSFW — . wc; ?k

summary; It was something Nam-gyu didn’t understand- he didn’t get why this was happening to him. He already felt super conscious over his body and gender and now.. this? It had been a long time since the games ended, and Nam-gyu only slept with one single person inside that hellhole. A certain purple haired man he hadn’t seen ever since the police found the so called mysterious island.

info; Trans pregnancy, anxiety, set as NSFW because mentions of drugs, thoughts about abortion, anxiety, and etc. Reuniting, crying, initial angst, happy ending yay!!, they get kicked outta the library lmfao, fighting, Nam-gyu fighting someone while pregnant.. they’re both soft as hell in here, anxious Nam-gyu, this is like tooth rotting fluff near the end so yay

notes; NGL I WAS REAL HESITANT WRITING THIS CUZ IDK WHAT Y’ALL’S OPINION WOULD BE!… but in req of one of my friends and a huge amount of begging, here I am to post it… ALSO SO SORRY FOR THE BURNT OUT PHASE AAAAAA 😭😭😭 I’ll post the rest of the week soon I promise pls

Nam-gyu's life felt like a perfect heaven ever since leaving the games, despite for some factors. Losing contact with someone he held dear up until now, Thanos. But even as it made him sad and upset, Nam-gyu didn't let it drag him down.

Life went smoother ever since he got a good amount of money for surviving the games when that island was found, all the alive players were recompensed and escorted back safely, but during the hassle of people, Nam-gyu lost Thanos and never really saw him again.

He quit his joh as a club promoter, rather sticking to something he'd actually like to do rather than staying up most of the nights up, he opened a bookstore nearby the house he lived. It wasn't the most crowded but it became a comfortable ambient. And with the money he still had, he managed to live pretty comfortably.

But not all happiness could last forever, could it?

A month later or so after the games ended, he began getting sick. It was weird, Nam-gyu had a strong immune system and had a good diet, so he didn't understand why he was sick.

Assuming it was just a cold, he went on for the first couple of weeks throwing up and just feeling like his hormones were all over the place. 

The last thread for him was when he missed his period. He had a hundred things running through his mind but none of that indicated the source of the problem.

Now, sitting down in the mattress of a hospital room after a few exams, Nam-gyu was waiting for his results. Sure, he could treat whatever he had with money, but what if it was something that couldn't be cured? Hell, he'd be screwed. Not because of the money but because he considered himself a pretty active person.

His thoughts were brought back to reality as he heard the door softly clicking open and a few footsteps walking inside the room, causing him to lift his head up to meet the warm eyes of a nurse. She looked.. oddly cheerful, so maybe Nam-gyu wasn't sick? Or.. something else? She looked a bit too happy for his own liking.

"Mr.Roh?" She called out gently, making his stomach churn with unease. But nevertheless, he gave her a brief nod. "Yeah, yeah that's me." His heart was beating so fast- he swore he could feel it all the way up in his throat. Swallowing hard. The seconds seemed to go by so slowly, and then finally, she spoke up. "Congrats, Mr. Roh Nam-gyu. It seems like you're going to be a father." 

A what.

Nam-gyu froze, his heart that was once thumping so loudly in his ears seemed to stop all of a sudden.

A baby? Being a father as in.. he's pregnant?

He swore he could throw up all over again, he wanted to scream but also cry in the same moment- but nothing came out of him. He sat there, frozen, staring at the nurse who was once  ecstatic but now was eyeing him worriedly.

"Mr.Roh? Are you okay?" She asked tentatively, walking towards him gently and setting the clipboard aside, holding his arms in her hands. As if on clue, Nam-gyu snapped back to reality. Nodding and forcing out a smile. "Yeah, yeah. That's uh, wonderful news." The man said, swallowing every urge to let out everything he felt in the moment. "I'll get going now."

Nam-gyu then grabbed whatever papers he needed to take, plus the sonography. "Mr.Roh, wait—"

But Nam-gyu was already fast walking out of the door, running, even. He stopped by his car, head a mess. Who the fuck was the father then?

Getting inside the car, Nam-gyu buckled himself in and turned the gear on, resting his hands firmly on the steering wheel.

"Pregnant." He uttered, the words ringing inside his head. Nam-gyu tried to recall who could he have possibly slept with, he has been careful ever since leaving the games and..

Oh shit, of course! The fucking games.

Thanos, he remembered having sex with him during lights out without even thinking about protection, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Nam-gyu had a whole fucking kid inside of him and the father of the baby was nowhere to be found, at least by Nam-gyu. Thanos had a kid and he didn't even know that he was going to be a father.

He could abort it, right?

He bit his lip, for some stupid fucking reason, Nam-gyu couldn't bring himself to fully accept it. He wasn't sure why, really. But he just couldn't fully accept ‘killing’ this.. thing inside of him.

A frustrated groan left his lips, banging his head against the steering wheel and causing it to accidentally honk. He immediately looked up to see some startled pedestrian giving him the nasty look, and Nam-gyu just did it back.

He sighed, thinking about it out in the streets wouldn't do it. So instead, he just began driving back towards his house, maybe he'd think it out better over there.

The drive felt longer than it usually did, maybe it was because of the mess going through his head. He couldn't exactly record getting to his bedroom, but here he was, changing into pajamas and staring at himself in the mirror, a tentative finger poking his belly.

He cringed at it, pregnant. What the hell would he do? Sure, he had the money, but he didn't have people around, family, friends, hell he basically had no one. Money wasn't a problem, it wouldn't be but.. there was also dysphoria, the fact that Thanos wasn't here. Thanos didn't know he was going to have a kid, fuck this kid wouldn't have another parent.

It was around one in the afternoon, but Nam-gyu felt utterly drained. He just.. got under the blankets, staring blandly at the wall. He gripped the sheets, not sure how to feel about it. He felt mad, angry, sad, he just didn't get it.

Despite the fact he stayed in bed for the rest of the whole day, Nam-gyu didn't get a wink of sleep. Even if he knew that sleeping would do good for his thoughts, it wasn't that easy when your mind was having a huhdred thoughts to think under an hour.

Maybe he could take a walk, hell, if he was in any condition to he'd probably go to a club and get high.

And then it hit him, right! A club, if there was any place Thanos would be, it'd be a stupid club. More specifically the club he used to work at.

Getting out of the warm comfort of the bedsheets, Nam-gyu tiredly changed into something somewhat more proper for getting out, not overdoing it. This time, he had decided not to drive, maybe taking a walk would do him some good.

The breeze felt soft outside, caressing his hair. The faint smell of something he couldn't quite explain brought him a sense of nostalgia for no reason, and his chest felt like it was being squeezed with every step.

He wasn't sure why he was reacting like this, maybe he was just overwhelmed? A whole baby growing inside of you.. already nearly three months old wasn't something to take lightly.

He wasn't sure if Thanos actually would be there, but not going was better than nothing, right? 

He eyed people all around, some were laughing, some were together walking in silence. So many people could be going through this but no, the universe chose him.

Quickening his step, Nam-gyu followed the all too familiar pathway towards the Pentagon club, a shuddering sigh leaving his lips when he spotted it not too far from him.

It felt weird to be back after such a long time, for some reason, his stomach churned with anxiety. It was still a tad early, so he gave the bouncer his ID and paid for whatever he had to pay for, also allowing a wristband to be put around it.

His eyes scanned the people who were already inside, biting his lip as he moved to get through the crowding space. And then, finally, he spotted Thanos sitting there, drinking.

All of a sudden, the feeling that Thanks should know about this kid completely fucking vanished. It was as if his feet were rooted to the spot just by the familiar sight of that purple hair— what was he thinking? It had been months ever since they saw each other, why would Thanos want anything to do with him?

His gaze practically burned the back of Thanos' head, and yet, Nam-gyu couldn't look away, hell he could barely move.

So, rather than just standing there when he finally came back to it, he decided to maybe just drop it. Turning around quickly, Nam-gyu rushed out of there as quickly as he possibly could, not looking back.

With his breath ragged, Nam-gyu barely looked at whatever was going on in front of him, by accident, bumping into someone and causing them to spill their drink. "Man, are you fucking kidding me?! What is wrong with you?!" The guy asked, and Nam-gyu snapped out of it, scrunching his nose in disgust at the smell of the strong drink.

Normally, he'd be used to these kind of smells, but maybe things really do change when you're pregnant. A snort left his lips without him really being able to stop it. "Bitch, who do you think you are to talk to me like that?" Well, maybe his hormones did make it a bit harder to control his temper.

Maybe it was because of how used he was to fighting people, but Nam-gyu completely forgot that things like this could harm the baby. Instead, just focusing on the moment. "You fucking spilled my drink and you expect me to not be pissed?!" The guy yelled through the loud booming music, and hell if it didn't piss Nam-gyu off.

In matter of seconds they were onto each other, kicking, throwing punches, and by that point the people around began forming a circle just to watch what was going on. Some were recording, others were just egging them both on.

Nam-gyu ended up with a split lip and a bleeding nose, but he still had the advantage. Swapping their positions until he was on top of the man, his knuckles making contact with his face fiercely and unwavering, it felt strangely good.

It felt so fucking good to let everything he has been feeling out, so good to finally express his emotions through fights— he would have kept it up longer, in his opinion. But the second he heard a very familiar "Nam-su!" He immediately stopped.

He let go of the shirt he was holding, a fistful in his hands as the guy collapsed back with a bloody face. Nam-gyu cursed himself mentally, of course a fight would bring this idiot's attention considering how chaotic he is.

"My boy Nam-su! Is that you?!" Thanos said cheerfully, but before the other man even managed to do anything, Nam-gyu began running away from the scene.

That of course confused Thanos, did Nam-gyu not want to be his friend anymore? Did the money make him forget about their moments together?

It had been so long.. so after a few seconds of thinking, Thanos decided to take the shot of running after Nam-gyu.

Running out of the club without thinking twice, Thanos looked to both sides to where Nam-gyu could possibly have gone to, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he began asking a few people passing by.

"Have you seen a man a bit shorter than me? With a bob and running as fast as he can?" Was what he asked around five people when he managed to catch their attention. Without much luck, Thanos sighed, running a hand through his hair. Did Nam-gyu forget about him or he just didn't want to talk to him?

And yet, as he was about to give up, he felt a hand tap his shoulder, meeting the face of a young woman. "Hi.. I think the person you're looking for went in there."

Thanos nodded, a smile suddenly sprouting in his face as he thanked her, immediately rushing inside what looked like a library. Smart idea, libraries were normally big.

He stepped into the library and took a look around before he actually began walking around, he guessed he might just be unlucky considering he couldn't spot Nam-gyu's familiar face anywhere.

Maybe he might as well leave the other alone if he really had been avoiding him like the plague? It was as if nothing ever happened between them.. and it kind of stung.

And then, by that point he just decided to take a walk through sections, chrck out a few books. Thanos wasn't really one for books, so maybe this could be somewhat of a new experience.

And just like that, he began plucking a few books from a couple of shelves. Carding through the pages and reading the story summary. On a specific book he pulled, though, he was met with all too familiar eyes across that bookshelf.

"My boy! Nam-su! It's really you?!" Well, wasn't that great. Maybe the universe just really wanted them to meet up again, didn't it?

Nam-gyu didn't really have somewhere to run, so he just stood there with his stomach churning as he heard Thanos' quick footsteps padding against the floor towards him, shit. "Nam-su, my boy!" Thanos said as he threw his arms around Nam-gyu before pulling back to hold him by the shoulders. "I missed you so much, bro! How have you been?" He said with a bright smile. 

Normally, Nam-gyu loved that smile but this was a whole different occasion.. he swallowed hard, not replying. "Why have you been avoiding me? Do you not wanna be seen with me anymore? Shit, do you not like me because of the drugs anymore? Is it because I don't give them to you anymore or have the—"

Nam-gyu felt his head throb, his throat tightening as he remembered why he hasn't been talking to Thanos and avoiding him. Maybe it was how his hormones were all over the place but he really, really felt like crying. And when Thanos mentioned not wanting to be seen with him anymore and all the drugs they'd take inside that place— it just broke.

He felt those tears come up his throat, choking him alive as he tried to speak. Even as he did, his voice was cracking as if he was about to have a whole breakdown. "I—" he choked out, feeling something warm and wet slide down his cheek, biting his lip, he ducked his head down with a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." He finally managed out, feeling half of the weight come off his shoulders.

Thanos in the other hand, stood frozen. He stared at Nam-gyu and then he looked mad— for a second Nam-gyu would think Thanos was going to lash out. "Wait, you're pregnant? Why you cryin'? Did the asshole abandon you or something? You can abort it, right?" Thanos said with a angry gleam in his eye, it was the first time Nam-gyu saw him like that. "I swear if I see him around—"

"Thanos, it's yours." And Thanos' world fell, Nam-gyu was pregnant and.. it was his? He stopped speaking, mouth agape as he stared at Nam-gyu's tear streaked face. "Holy shit." He said, unsure of whether to laugh or cry. "I'm a dad?"

Nam-gyu nodded, sniffling. Okay, Thanos didn't take it that hardly. "Wait, if you're keeping it— I'm a dad?" He said again, nearly not believing the sheer insanity of it all. 

Nam-gyu nodded, letting out a relieved chuckle. His chest wasn't as heavy, even if he was crying, it wasn't out of anxiety or fear anymore. "I'm keeping it, yeah." He nodded, and Thanos let out a loud cheer, catching the attention of some people.. and the librarian. "Hey, keep the noise down. You're in a library." She scolded sternly.

"Can't you see we're having a moment here?" Thanos said, a tad annoyed the moment got interrupted. "Well, then you can both enjoy your moment outside."

They did get kicked out in the end, after all. But even then, he was practically beaming. Once they got outside and walked towards an empty park, both too lazy to walk towards their houses, they sat down.

Well, at least Nam-gyu did. Thanos was right on his knees in front of him, which confused Nam-gyu, because why wouldn't he sit down next to him?

But then, Thanos pushed his thighs apart and leaned his ear into his belly, even though it was barely really prominent, he insisted on doing it. The moment felt rather peaceful, quiet and silent until Nam-gyu spoke up. "I thought you'd be upset, that's why I avoided you." And Thanos scoffed, shaking his head. "I wasn't lying when I said I loved you back in the games, Nam-gyu." And Nam-gyu swore his heart skipped a beat.

"You're such a sap."

"You love me, though." Thanos gave Nam-gyu that stupid smirk of his, but nevertheless, Nam-gyu nodded. "Yeah, yes I do." He paused, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. "And so does this kid, I guess."

Maybe this was something Nam-gyu wouldn't get now, why it happened and why him, but maybe.. someday he would get it. He wasn't alone with this baby anymore now, and that was enough for the moment.

Everything else could simply be figured out later.

-

IM POSTING THIS AND RUNNING AWAY 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[navstuffs]

Megumi's Imaginary friend

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x GN!Reader x Toji Fushiguro (family/platonic), Toji Fushiguro x GN!Reader (background/romantic)

Summary: Recently, your son Megumi has been talking with an imaginary friend. It is a normal phase every kid goes through, and it's not completely creepy to find Megumi talking by himself, right?

Warning tags: fic with HORROR elements, 12+, angst ending, focused on megumi x gn!reader relationship, megumi is around 9 years old in this fic, occ megumi/toji, megumi's eyes are green like toji's

Author's Notes: my horror toji fic ended up becoming more abt megumi x gn!reader (platonic). maybe one day the other horror fic i had planned for toji will see the light of the day. fanfic 100% based on movie like "The Others" and "The Sixth Sense." enjoy your reading!

my halloween event's masterlist

You hear the door opening and quickly dry your hands on the apron, ready to welcome Megumi. You listen to him take his shoes off, his footsteps coming to find you in the kitchen.

"No work today?" He looks surprised to see you.

"No work. It is family day!"

Megumi nods, leaving to change into more comfortable clothes. He is growing fast; you met Megumi when he was around one year old. You encountered his dad first. A widow who looked nothing but danger: Toji Fushiguro. You actually still don't know why and how you married him: maybe it was his charm to convince you he was in love with you or Megumi's chubby cheeks and fingers calling for you. Perhaps a little of both.

Megumi instantly bonded with you: you didn't know if it was over the need to have another parent (Toji has always been out of the house working), so Megumi clearly needed someone to raise and love him. As years passed, you continued to take care of each other.

Toji always arrived too late for Megumi to be awake; you didn't know what Toji worked on yet, but deep down, you never really cared. You love Toji, and Toji loves you in his own way. It was hard initially, but you learned to accept it with time. Maybe because Toji was a man who always had a hard time around love (he had shared once how he thought he would never find love after Megumi's mom), but always acted if he saw any sign of distress and sadness coming from you, keeping you and Megumi's safe.

Megumi had started to act weird a couple of months ago; you didn't know what had happened, but your little boy closed himself, not talking for a couple of weeks. He had always been a reserved child but never like this; you first thought it had to do with Toji's absence, and Megumi had been missing his dad, but it didn't seem to be about that. Then, you supposed it had to be about bullying and almost went to the school, though Megumi begged you not to. He slowly started to come out of his shelf, being his usual self, but there was something different about him, especially when you caught Megumi staring at you or his dad.

It got weird after you caught him talking with someone in his room. You were bringing laundry to his room, and before you could open his bedroom door, you heard him chatting with someone.

"…I guess."

You waited a few minutes until you heard a small sob. You knocked, worried, then entered the room, finding Megumi standing, cleaning his face.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes. I am okay."

Megumi was clearly lying, but you didn't want to push it and shut him off completely. After that, you noticed Megumi talking more and more by himself almost daily. Initially, you figured this was normal. Megumi wasn't a kid with many friends, so it was bound to happen eventually. It was customary for a kid to have an imaginary friend.

One night, you shared your worries with Toji before bed as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. You always loved the feeling of this powerful man melting in your arms as you rubbed his hair.

"Seems the kind of behavior a normal kid has."

"I know. It's just…he sounds to be actively engaging. As if he really believes this friend exists."

"He will grow over it with time." Toji simply responds, shrugging his shoulders.

You want so badly to believe in him.

Things start getting really bad during a long trip from Toji. Your kitchen utensils are in different places than they used to be, and you find tons of candies you recently purchased in the trash. When you asked Megumi about it, he shrugged his shoulders (identically to his dad), answering it had been Gojo's doing.

"Who?"

"My imaginary friend?"

"Megumi, that isn't nice! You can't blame this on your imaginary friend!"

"But he did it! He is crazy for sweets!"

You ended up grounding Megumi for a week, forbidding him to speak with his so-called imaginary friend "Gojo." Megumi gave you an angry stare (again, reminding you of his dad) before going to his room. Before you could follow him, a chair suddenly moved before you, blocking your way. You blinked, thinking it was all a trick of your eyes, placing the chair back into place.

You were probably just imagining things.

It just gets worse and worse after that. Objects were constantly disappearing from your house now, the TV turned it on by itself, and Megumi was more distracted, sometimes ignoring your presence. That should all scare you, but it didn't. It sounded like a stupid prank from someone, and you constantly told yourself you were imagining stuff, or it simply didn't happen. You were primarily worried about Megumi now: he seemed to be having a hard time at school, and when you insisted you would go to school, he begged you with tears in his eyes to not go.

"Why son? If people are bullying you, I want to help!"

"Please, don't!" Megumi looked up at you with big, teary eyes. And it didn't stop there, which shocked you. Megumi almost never cried. Not with his sobs getting louder, and he crying more and more, grabbing your clothes so you couldn't move. You held onto him until he fell asleep, exhausted from crying. You called Toji that night, asking him to come home, and Toji agreed. So you prepared the perfect day as a family. Maybe that's exactly what Megumi needed.

Megumi comes downstairs dressed more comfortably. You had been preparing for the shogayaki you would be doing it later, one of Megumi's favorite dishes. He sits by the table, looking down, not saying anything.

"Your father should be home soon. It will be a fun night. We could watch your favorite movie if you want to!"

"I don't really want to watch any movie today."

Your heart hurts to see your son like that. You sit at his side, bringing him close to you.

"Megumi, what is wrong? You know you can tell me everything. What happened?" Your son's green eyes look for you, open-hearted. For a second, he seems he will speak, but the door opens and closes, and Toji's form appears in the kitchen's entrance, making Megumi shut off.

"What's with the long face?" Toji clearly asks his son, who goes silent, shutting off completely. You shake your head, the disapproval clear in your eyes. At least Megumi's imaginary friend seems to have cooled down. You enjoy the rest of the day as a family: Megumi eats your food, taking his time but happy. Later, you let Toji wash the dishes ("You didn't cook, big guy, so you clean!") as you and Megumi cuddle in the living room, waiting to start his favorite movie.

After Toji joins you and falls asleep in a few minutes, you feel Megumi touch your face, startling you a little.

"What is wrong?"

"Thank you for today."

"You welcome, 'Gumi." Megumi gives you a sad smile before looking back at the TV. You end up falling asleep as well.

When you wake up, the TV is off. Toji is still sleeping in the living room, snoring softly, and you roll your eyes, finding him adorable. Let your man have his rest. You call Megumi's name, hearing his voice from upstairs. Another voice answers him: a male one. You don't even think about waking Toji, running upstairs, and opening Megumi's door.

Your son is sitting on the floor, clearly talking to someone. He seems startled quickly getting up, but you don't see the source of the voice.

"Are you talking with him again? Your imaginary friend?" Megumi doesn't answer, simply looking hopeless. He looks to his side as if asking for help, and you grab his face to look at you. "Megumi, Gojo doesn't exist! He is just your imaginary friend!"

Megumi can't look you in the eyes as he whispers, "No. It is you that doesn't exist anymore."

Your breath stops in your throat. Megumi must be misbehaving, he has to. But his green eyes tell you this isn't a bad joke or a little boy acting badly due to his parent's reprimand. This is serious. You notice your hands aren't touching your son's face. They are just there: you can't feel his warmth, you can't clean the tears coming from his face, you can't touch him. Your hands just pass over him.

You look around your house, your house, and it looks different from before: you usually helped him organize his room and put some color, but it's much darker now. It can't be. You try to touch your arms and the rest of your body, but your hands go straight through it. You don't panic, not yet. You don't want to scare Megumi. There must be a reasonable reason for all of this; you must be dreaming, and soon, you will wake up. You look at Megumi, and he simply motions for you to follow him.

As you follow behind Megumi, you notice how your house looks: different by each corner, as if it hasn't been touched and organized by you in a long time. When you arrive in the living room, Toji isn't sleeping on the sofa anymore. Megumi stands before a small butsudan (shrine) you have never noticed before. It has some kumotsu (offerings) around, and as you get closer, your legs fall to the floor.

It is yours and Toji's picture. You look at Megumi, unable to speak, and he places his hand in front of his chest, palm with palm. Praying.

"This…this is all my fault. After you died, I wished for you to come back. So badly. For you and Dad to come back. And to my surprise, you both did. As if you never left. But I understand now, with some help, this isn't right. This isn't the place you should be." Megumi takes a deep breath, looking at your eyes as he speaks, "I thank you for all the time together. I thank you for loving me. I thank you for taking care of me. I wish we had more time together."

You throw your arms around Megumi, not even caring that they go right through his body, slowly remembering the events of that night. The car accident in the roadway; waking up to Megumi's cries in the back as he shook your body and Toji's, begging you not to leave him. And you didn't. You woke up the other day in the house, thinking it all had been just a bad dream, Toji snoring at your side, and went to live another day.

"There is nothing to apologize for, Megumi. Nothing. I will love you forever and always. Me and your daddy always will."

Megumi doesn't answer, just simply holding you back. When he opens his eyes, you are gone. Gojo stands by the stairs, watching Megumi turn around, praying again. Maybe now Megumi could find some peace.

taglist: @roseglazedlens,@scar-crossedlvrs

[alittlebitofloveliness]

To cope cause this week has not been a vibe, which outsiders character could you picture going through something like this?

I remember when I was really little I use to love wearing dresses and anything pink and girly. I loved to feel like a princess, but then I got a bit older and suddenly being girly was seen as silly and like weak?

The girls around me dressed more tomboyish and some of my friends closer to me would hang out with boys more and play sports. I didn't mind that of course but I felt out of place. Because it became VERY clear to me that a lot of people view being overly girly as weak or silly.

I think I internalized this HEAVILY because at a certain point I hated wearing dresses or anything overly girly. I stuck with alot of t-shirt and jeans after that and tried to act more boyish. Which backfired because then the boys thought I was weird and looked too much like a boy. And now I'm…I’m trying to get wear dresses and skirts again. But l'm scared that I separated myself from being girly and feminine to the point that I don’t know how to act like a girl again. Which kind of makes me sad, because I’m just reminded of that ten year old girl that I was who loved being girly, and wanted to look like a Disney princess.

Oh anon I wanna give you the absolute biggest big sister bear hug right now, you have no idea. I feel like this is something every little girl goes through to a point? I definitely did, I spent my whole childhood loving beatiful sparkly things, and all of middle school trying to prove I didn't. I think its part of the 'I'm not silly/shallow/foolish like other girls please take me seriously as a human' internalized misogyny thing that just about every girl goes through at some point, but it really sucks because obviously theres nothing wrong with liking feminine things and liking feminine things does not prevent women from being intelligent, full human beings deserving of respect, but shit the patriarchy goes hard and so many women have this phase. I'm so grateful that I worked to kind of unlearn that as best I could in high school because I really do love wearing dresses and doing my makeup and all my sparkly things and I was unhappy when I felt like i couldn't. Anyway, this is just a really long winded way of saying i totally understand where this is coming from, and also that being girly and liking stereotypically feminine things is not what MAKES someone a girl, and you're not failing at being one if you genuinely don't like dresses and makeup, but if you DO and you're struggling to embrace wearing them again (which it sounds like you are) that that's okay too because in time it will feel natural again, and you'll feel pretty and live your best disney princess dreams. (also if you ever need someone to hype you up or want makeup tips or anything I'm totally here for you! i ADORE fashion and playing with different styles and I have PERFECTED the bold red lip to the point its something I'm kind of known for on my uni campus, and basically I think i can help you learn to be excited about girly things again if you want to be).

ANYWAY, now i'm done yapping about that I can talk about which outsiders characters I think would struggle with this and (while I might get hate for it) I think SANDY definitely went through this phase. I see her as a character who has always felt powerless so she resorts to trying to take any power she could. As a lower class woman in the sixties, that would be hard for her to come by, so I think she'd try to reject femininity and all that womanhood entails for a while. Maybe her dad always treated her brothers better than he treated her so she always wanted to be more like them, or maybe when she struggled to make friends with the girls at school she turned to acting/dressing tomboyish to try and make friends with the boys.

Another one I could see with this same issue would be Susie Mathews. I think with a brother like Two-bit, who she loves but also sees and hears joking about and objectifying women, Susie would want to be nothing like the 'dumb blondes' her older brother is known for pursuing. I could also see her mother making comments here and there about the young women at the bar she works at so Susie might have also internalized that slut shaming mentality and dressed in more boyish attire so she wouldn't be seen as 'one of those girls'

Hope this was helpful and at least semi coherent I am running on very little sleep.

Thanks for the ask xx

[januever]

this is slightly inspired by the 2010’s movie letters to juliet by gary winick. mainly names, places and events but still inspired. enjoy! :)

💌 — januever presents :

LETTERS TO JULIET. ﹙ charles leclerc x reader ﹚

SOMEWHERE, BEFORE JULIET :

everything was perfect in the beginning. your relationship with your fiancé, victor, was like paradise and you thought that nothing could ruin it. he was definitely the one.

he was extremely romantic, passionate and caring. he always made sure to pay attention to you and tried his best to make you feel wanted and loved.

until that dreadful day came by.

« my love, i am home! » you shouted as you entered your shared apartment, taking off your shoes by the door. you looked up and with no response from him, you decided to quietly enter the house, looking around in hopes to find your lover.

to no avail, you almost give up thinking that he might be caught up with work.

victor was an amazing chef and for the past few months, he had been working on the preparations for his first ever restaurant’s grand opening. you were more than thrilled for him, seeing how exciting it was for victor to finally make his dream come true.

truth be told that this phase of his life made your relationship more troubled than usual. he was now more focused on his work which made your alone time the perfect occasion for fighting, his phone constantly ringing from sponsors eager to talk to him, inviting him to all kinds of wine-tasting events at the most luxurious places that separated you two for weeks. that somewhat made your relationship colder as the time went by, leaving you with a sad heart.

finally leaving your apartment entrance behind, you hear whispered mumbles coming from your shared bedroom as soon as you enter the main corridor.

« well, that’s weird .. » you whisper to yourself, believing that you were home alone. was someone in your bedroom? or better yet, was your fiancé with someone in your bedroom? .. that couldn’t be. he didn’t reply to you just now so he obviously wasn’t home. right?

scared and confused, expecting the worst, your hands were shaking as they reached to the door’s knob, turning it slowly.

the worst had happened.

your heart dropped to the sight of your fiancé ( or better yet, ex-fiancé ) laying in bed with another woman. he tried his best to hide her under the duvet but with little to no success. you had already seen her.

all those moments, memories, fights, kisses … everything came to an end and how hurtful your freedom was. as soon as he looks up at you with the eyes of regret and tears start falling slowly down your cheeks, you run off the apartment and decide that you are leaving his life for good.

VERONA, DURING JULIET :

a year since you found out.

you left everything behind without a second thought, calling off the engagement, with much shock from victor’s family. they didn’t know the full story, and as much as you hated victor, you didn’t want to ruin everything for him. at least, not right now.

still, not wanting all the wedding preparations to fully go to waste, you took the honeymoon tickets and departed to your destination, verona, with much encouragement from your family and ex-fiancé.

« maybe some time away from each other was the best for us. it was time to call it quits. »

his text message was right. he was right. it was time for a brand-new start.

this time, in italy.

wandering through the streets of verona, your legs were taking you somewhere : la casa di giulietta, the famous balcony where juliet was wooed by her sweet romeo, or at least, that’s what shakespeare wrote.

it was one of the places on your enormous sigh-seeing wishlist for you 2 week stay at the city. you knew that if you were here with victor, he would be too busy to enjoy this moment with you, and with that, your mind travelled back to your unfortunate love life.

maybe juliet’s love magic was all that you needed for you to find your very own romeo, after all that had happened. one last bit of hope from you to love.

a big rustic brown sign with the words " La Casa de Giulietta “ engraved onto it signaled you that you had arrived to your destination.

passing the big entrance gate, you could see : so many romantically-hopeless women, some crying, some laughing, with all kinds of struggles and passions, doing the exact same thing. writing, hoping, confiding to their last resort, juliet, in hopes for a better love.

in front of them, a big brick wall stood firmly with a bunch of different papers and letters, of all colors and shapes stuck to it. all of them with the same loving intent.

the sight made your heart soften, and inspired you to do the same as the other women as you quietly sat down on a wooden-bench laying in the middle of the area. it was now your turn to ask for juliet’s help.

you sat there, not knowing exactly for how long. your mind wandering to all kinds of things you could say to juliet, begging for her to help you, to give you your perfect romance.

the sun light gradually being less and less strong signaled you that maybe it was time to return to your hotel and so, you decided to do exactly that. however, with an empty letter, which made you loose a little bit of hope.

packing all your belongings back into your bag with an heavy heart as you prepare yourself to leave, you hear heavy footsteps sounding from the entrance.

looking up out of pure curiosity, you see a figure emerging from the shadows and walking towards you. the dark pair of sunglasses sitting on their face, the dark cap on top of their head and the dimmed sun light made it harder for you to decipher who it was, making it a bit creepy looking, which startled you.

suddenly feeling uncomfortable, you decided to leave as fast as you could before the maybe-dangerous stranger could even think of doing something to you.

« i’m sorry if i startled you! don’t worry, it’s not what you’re thinking. » the somewhat intruder rapidly apologized as he noticed how uncomfortably you stood up and with a quick smile, he turned his back onto you, before stopping to face the brick wall. you noticed how his voice had a nice accent to it, definitely foreign.

his hands reached to the top of his head, taking his cap and sunglasses off and quickly messing with his hair. you admired how fluffy his hair appeared to be, colored with a nice hue of chocolate brown.

still watching him, you saw his hand reaching to one of the pockets of his jacket, before taking out a neatly folded yellow-colored post-it and placing it on a crack in the wall.

« are you also writing to juliet? » you questioned softly now moving besides him. the stranger, thinking that you had already left, jumped while one of his hands reached his chest, trying to calm his heart. « oh, i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to startle you! » you quickly apologized, frantically waving your hands in front of him.

« no no, it’s okay! i guess that’s my karma for scaring you earlier. » he chuckled softly to your antics, throwing a quick smile at you. his wide eyes had now relaxed and he seemed more at ease. you could finally see his face properly, noticing his green eyes watching you attentively. he’s quite pretty, you thought. « and to answer your question, yes, i am writing to juliet. » he replied, a hint of proudness in his tone.

« oh, i didn’t know men could also write to her .. » you mumbled to yourself, making him laugh sweetly.

« yeah, i’m not sure if i can do it either but hopefully she will help me either way. » he quickly shrugged, now facing the wall in front of both of you, reading some of the little cards with a soft smile on his lips.

« i didn’t meant it like that, i’m sorry! i’m just genuinely surprised. » you nervously said, now also looking at the wall, slightly embarrassed. why are you suddenly so nervous around this stranger? is it his eyes? you thought to yourself.

« it’s okay, i didn’t take it like that. » the man reassured, looking back at you briefly with the smile still plastered on his face. he seemed to stop for a while, thinking about something. a smirk appeared on his face, which made you look at him with a frown while softly asking what? « we should really stop apologizing to each other, you know. »

your frown slowly disappears as you both fall into soft giggles while you shake your head, nodding in agreement.

« yeah, we really should. »

« i’m charles, by the way. » he greeted warmly, throwing a sweet smile at you.

« nice to meet you, charles. i’m Y/N. » you replied now looking at him, locking both of your gazes.

« now, that’s a beautiful name. »

IN LOVE, AFTER JULIET :

it was now afternoon as your “ honeymoon ” came to an end.

the past month had been nothing but magical. and if you said that to charles, he would happily say that it was all because of him.

you got to know him a lot better during your vacation, easily getting along after your first encounter at juliet’s house. he took you on all kinds of adventures around the city and you found out he was quite familiar with the town, as well as some other provinces in italy.

he later told you about his job in formula one with ferrari, about his life in monaco, all kinds of funny stories from his childhood, all the crazy challenges with his teammate carlos … and all about his past.

you hugged, you cried, you laughed.

you bonded.

bonded over some ice cream, booping each other’s nose with the sweet icy treat as soft giggles came out of your mouths. the thought of that memory alone made you smile as you softly touched your nose with the tip of your fingers.

bonded during those late night-walks outside your hotel, to which he would walk to every late afternoon just to offer you dinner. the thought of those memories made charles’ feet hurt but it was all worth it.

bonded while watching the stars, laying on the grass from your hotel’s park. hands resting against each other, both of you blushing as they brushed a bit closer.

all those special moments, connecting like dots in your mind to give you the clarification that you needed: you were falling in love again. and this time, charles was the lucky guy.

you quickly got out of your thoughts as you heard knocking on your door. a smile spread through your face, knowing exactly who it was.

preparing yourself to greet charles goodnight as you opened your room’s door, you quickly got interrupted by an enthusiastic giggle.

« i got a letter back! » he excitedly exclaimed, holding up a white envelope for you to see. you could clearly read the word “juliet” on the front of the envelope, and the sight made your heart warm.

« from juliet, i suppose? » you asked with a soft laugh as you saw the happy man entering your room, while doing some kind of weird dance.

« oui. and i want you to read it! » he said, as he extended his arm in front of you. you frowned, taking the letter from his hand while glancing at him.

« are you sure? after all, this is your letter. » he only nodded in agreement as he gave you a warm smile. you gave in, mumbling a small okay as you opened the envelope.

“ dear Y/N,

this is charles. i’m sorry for disappointing you, as i’m sure that you were expecting a letter from juliet.

the truth is, this past month that we spent together was beautiful and i believe that juliet meant for us to meet. all those moments and all these feelings bottling up, waiting for the right time to tell you everything.

with you leaving so soon, i couldn’t have let you go without trying.

please, be the juliet to this pleading romeo. (with less drama and more love, of course.)

— charles. ”

reading the letter over and over again, you couldn’t help but feel confused. all those words echoing in your head, making your heart beat faster. did charles really mean all of it? maybe juliet could help you.

charles looked at you with an hesitant expression, slowly feeling more and more scared of your rejection. maybe he took the signs too far. maybe juliet couldn’t help him.

with each second ticking, you finally made your decision.

quickly mumbling a fuck it under your breath, you cup charles’ face with your hands and pull him into a kiss.

all of those unsaid words, everything being as clear as a confirmation for both of you that the love there was real.

charles’s “ grazie, giulietta. ” made you smile against his lips.

he was right.

thank you, juliet.

hellooo everyone! nana here :)

just wanted to say thank you for reading my first ever work all the way until the end. this was a true hustle to finish writing but i managed to do it nonetheless … TT

this is not the best thing ever written but i tried my absolute best and i hope u love it either way ♡

this was proofread buy a veeeery eepy nana so please excuse any grammar / sentence mistakes okay love !!!

remember to take care of yourselves & that u are very much loved!

much love,

— nana 💐

[inwintersolitude]

- June 6th 2025 -

When was the last time you read a book? Yesterday.

What was the last flavor of tea you drank? I made myself a very strong matcha latte about an hour ago. I used the matcha latte mix from Trader Joes, and I added in 2 grams of the new decaf matcha I just opened. I had read a comment on one of the ADHD subreddits where someone said that decaf matcha helps them focus so well that it's almost like taking ADHD meds, and I decided to try it for myself. Well… I'm not really getting that effect right now haha. It's just making me feel overstimulated, which is weird because there's no caffeine. But I have a history of paradoxical reactions to things.

If you’re a youtuber, what was the last tag video you filmed? I'm not a Youtuber. I have an account, but only for watching/subscribing.

Are you subscribed to a lot of channels on youtube? Yep. At least several dozen.

What’s a trend from high school that you miss? I actually kind of miss Xanga and Myspace. Social media just hasn't been the same since those days. Now it's all about ✨content✨ rather than connections.

What color are your snow boots? Black.

Has it snowed yet this year where you live? Yeah, the last it snowed was in April.

What month is it right now? June.

Do you like the season your birthday is in, or would you change it? I like the first two months of winter, because Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite holidays, and I also love snow. But by late January or early February, I start to get sick of the bitter cold and the lack of sunlight (winters here are VERY cloudy/gloomy).

Do you make lists of baby names that you like? No. I don't want kids so it's not pertinent to me.

What color were the last pair of leggings you wore? Black.

Do you eat breakfast every day? Yes, I can never skip breakfast. Even if I'm waking up late and I'm not eating til like noon or later, the first thing I eat HAS to be a breakfast food.

What is something you hate about your hair? I can't stand how poofy it is. It's wavy but it's like the "every strand of hair has a mind of its own" kind of wavy rather than the smooth kind of wavy. It makes it poof out a lot and it's so annoying, so I usually straighten it.

What was the last thing you had to eat? Tomato bruschetta crackers with some brie. I wanted to get those little mini mozzarella balls to go with the crackers, but they didn't have any at the store yesterday, so I got brie instead but it doesn't pair as well.

Do you wish you had a better phone? Nope, it's an S25 Ultra so arguably there is no better phone in terms of hardware. Maybe a OnePlus. Those are really nice, too.

What was the first thing that you wanted to be when you grew up? I can't remember the very first thing I wanted to be. Might have been a veterinarian or a scuba diver. I also went through a phase where I wanted to be a chemical engineer like my dad was at the time lol.

What is annoying you right now? My in-law's family dynamics. There's a lot of enmeshment and codependency going on amongst both of my husband's parents and all of his other Boomer-generation relatives. They all try to make others responsible for their feelings rather than practicing healthy emotional regulation. I stay as far away as possible from their nonsense.

Do you have a headache? Nope.

What color is the rim of your whiteboard? It doesn't have a rim.

Do you think your parents’ childhood photos look vintage? They definitely do, since my parents were born in 1958 and 1960.

Unicorn emoji or heart eyes emoji? Heart eyes emoji.

Do you find texting fun? No, I hate texting. I don't like how it has led to so many people having the expectation that you should be constantly contactable and replying to them immediately. My husband is the only person I enjoy texting.

How old were you when you got your license? I was 17.

Do you miss someone? Yes, my Granddad. My family is about to have a big reunion/vacation in a few weeks, and it's going to feel so sad to not have him there with us.

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? I'd change my brain chemistry so I wouldn't have ADHD. I have a fairly severe case of it and it can be disabling in some ways.

Do you block a lot of people on facebook? No, because I never go on there.

Have you ever let someone walk on you and then later regretted it? That has happened once. Usually I don't let people walk all over me, but I let that happen at my last job because I wanted to stay working there and it was one of the few jobs in the area with the exact role that I was in.

Do you have any past mistakes you’ve made that haunt you every day? Yeah, not leaving that job. Shortly after I decided to stay working there, one of my coworkers caused a very loud accident that gave me an acoustic shock injury, and my ears have been ringing every single second of every single day of the 9+ years since then.

Are you bothered by something someone said to you years ago? Nothing comes to mind right now, but I'm sure I could think of something if I spent more time pondering this question.

Who is the last friend that you lost? Dave, I guess, but it's for the best. He was kind of a dick sometimes.

Do you have anyone who loves and supports you? Yes.

If not, do you want that? I already have that.

[talltoontales]

<-On a Dime->

--------------------

[Story 27 || Week 24]

Written: 06/10/2024

Prompt: "Kaboom" went the costal banana factory. "Splash" went the dozens of radioactive bananas as they landed in the ocean.

Prompt By: r/Accomplished_Dot9224 (Reddit)

[This is a story in the world of "Time to Spare" (02/17/2024)]

--------------------

"Some days, I really don't like being a superhero."

// // // // // // // // // //

You walk onto the rooftop. You see Luke Arling, A.K.A. the hero Streak, in his civilian clothes sitting on the edge of the roof halfway through a six pack of orange sodas. Luke hands you a soda as you take a seat next to him.

Now, don't get me wrong. Beating the baddies, helping people, fighting the good fight, I'm always down for. I've also been doing this for a couple of years now, and I know that sometimes the bad guys win one, and people get hurt. Those days definitely suck, but that's the gig. Gotta take the good with the bad.

But sometimes, it feels like I'm the only normal guy out here, relatively speaking. Most heroes are either in life-or-death mode twenty-four-seven, on a gloom-and-doom carousel, or kind of an asshole.

If I had a dollar for every time I had to meet someone for a team-up on a windy or rainy rooftop in the middle of the night, I'd have to start putting it on my taxes. And they always do that thing where once they're done with the conversation, they just disappear.

Side note, I can go from Miami to New York City in about thirty minutes, give or take. Yet, I still have no idea how I lose track of some of these guys.

No joke! One time, I had to team up with Spades for a high-profile villain situation. Reminder, he has no powers. He's just peak human, really smart, and has a bunch of cult money. While his cop buddy was doing his spiel, I kept my eyes on Spades the entire time, and the second, the SECOND I blinked, dude was gone! Drives me nuts!

You also can't trust some heroes. Not in a--

"...they might be secretly evil..."

--kind of way, more like--

"...they are WAY too ready to put a bullet in your back..."

--kind of way. I mean, I get it. It was for the greater good, it was a time-sensitive situation, and you knew I'd probably survive it, but a heads up before injecting me with a poison would've been nice, Alchem-bee! Had me tasting copper for two weeks! And don't get me started on--

~One~Rant~Later~

--and some of these guy's backstories are just...just too sad, man. I mean, It's not unusual for heroes to have a little baggage; the best ones do, but you get to listening to 'em after a while, and maybe it's just me, but I'm less sad about what happened to you and more surprised that you're still alive!

Not only that, but you chose to become a hero! If I went through half the stuff some other heroes have been through, I'd have burnt the world to ash and taken Haven and Hell along with it. Spiral went to therapy for about a month. Seasoned vet-level hero therapist, and at the end of it, the therapist had to temporarily shut down her practice because she needed therapy.

Now, I'm not perfect either. I'm no ray of sunshine, always smiling and junk. I've fought a few heroes. Had a couple of bad days after a loss. I mean, I got my powers after my sister's professor went nuts from testing on himself and blew up the school.

Now, I sometimes phase out of reality if I'm not paying attention. I've died twice and had to be told about the second time months after it happened, and I think two versions of my future self started some sort of multiverse war, which is concerning, to say the least.

But...I dunno, maybe I'm the odd man out. Maybe after all that's happened, the fact that I still see myself as just a guy trying to help is weird. I run around the world in a white and red jumpsuit with goggles powered by an energy that no one can understand.

In two years, I've been through enough superhero drama and shenanigans that some heroes think I've been around for waaaaay longer, but somehow, I don't let it get to me. I dunno how I do it, I just do. I bet some guys think I'm some kind of psychopath, an emotional time bomb waiting to go off, just one bad day from--

Notification pops up on Luke's phone. As he reads it, he begins to grin ear to ear.

Oh. My. God! This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life! Have you seen this yet?!

Luke holds the phone up to your face.

MAGS (GF): Guess who's baaaaack? <Int. News Alert // Beaches Gone Bananas> Mutant Fish have been seen battling various cybernetically enhanced primates on Dandi Beach, located on the west coast of India. Sources in the area believe that this is closely involved with an explosion at a nearby abandoned banana factory. The few bananas recovered before the battle have been confirmed to emit a strange kind of radiation. Luckily, the beach was closed for cleaning due to...

Oh, you know this has got Maniac Macaque written all over it. I knew he survived the volcano collapse somehow. You can never keep a weird villain down for long!

Luke starts texting Mag back before running off in a flash of light for a few seconds, returning in costume.

Hey, I ape-preciate you letting me ramble for, like, four hours. I peel-ly needed this more than I thought.

Another notification pops up.

Aw, Carp! Utopic's there! Guy's a wooden board, he's gonna waste a primetime pun situation! Look, I gotta split, but next time you swing through town, lunch is on me. Just no shrimp.

No pun, I just can't stand the taste of 'em.

Luke races down the side of the building. You look off into the distance, seeing a streak of white light speeding into the horizon.

\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

"Some days, I really LOVE being a superhero!"

. . . . . . . . . .

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the story! If you have any comments, critiques, or criticisms, please don't be afraid to let me hear 'em (as long as they're constructive (or comical)). Also, if you have some spare time, check out my blog for more stories like the one above. Stay safe, drink plenty of water, and be kind to yourself and others. ToonMan, AWAY!

.

[Last Week's Story || Next Week's Story]

.

P.S. For the record, I know that the date for this story doesn't fit for last week, but I do have a story for last week. I just...lost the plot a bit.

I realized that the editing is gonna take a while, and my week's about to get not real great. So, I decided to get something down for this week so I wouldn't end up trying to rush a story out at 11 p.m. on Saturday.

If everything goes well, I should have the story done and posted early next week unless I walk into a complete catastrophe.

[creativename100]

WIP of padpa that I drew YESTERDAY. Yeah you heard that right. I drew. But the prob is idk how to move forward. I wanted to break away from the whole 'sketch then lineart then colouring' process and now I'm stuck here. I put on a song and just went with the flow.

I feel like this might be a little bit weird but I haven't listened to a song in weeks before this. Like I just go through phases ig of just not wanting to listen to anything. Even as background noise. I feel drained and tired (?) just thinking about it. I don't really know how to properly explain it.

Broo I feel like since I don't interact with anyone that much I'm starting forget all the languages I know. Even the one I speak at home. I tried to say something, stumbled and stuttered and mom got confused. I'm not really sad or ig I don't feel bad about it. Just worried about what's gonna happen when I have no other choice but to interact with people. I mean like in uni and work and all. I have a few friends and I love them to death. I'm comparatively more comfortable with them. My family too to some extent. Everyone else I just don't know how to be around. It's like I just don't what to say or what I should say to keep a conversation going.

[bbarican]

january 06, 2023; 7:17 pm - weekend thoughts, favorites, etc.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚ thoughts: ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚

my mom and i spent the afternoon together in makati kasi she really wanted to watch rewind so i saw it with her

it hit super duper too close to home as in para siyang life story ng parents ko so my mom (and ako din actually) has been super quiet and a bit sad ever since we got home from makati

i dont want to keep feeling this way, this weird heaviness thats looming around the both of us knowing na it was basically my mom’s life story kaya im gonna listen to good music, read the book im currently reading (and anotating for the first time!) and probably will plan for next week para mawala yung lungkot around me

im currently reading everything i know about love by dolly alderton and the fact na i gasped from one of the very few pages palang means na its gonna be a really great book as in its so relatable na nakakagulat na may iba palang girls who went through the exact same thing as we did who grew up being online all the time

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚ recent favorites: ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚

laufey; i used to think her voice was too deep but bewitched is such an amazing album and i saw her tiny desk performance and i was converted to a fan so quickly

collectible toys; im good with sonny angels na, tapos na phase ko of collecting them i guess and i bought the last boxes of popmart blind boxes na para lang makumpleto na yung collection ko and para lang may laman yung shelf ko and after receivign my last order super duper duper last time na yun, hindi na ko bibili ever again

will always be my favorite but whenever my room is clean and my stuff are organized, my mind is just clearer and im automatically happier

salads; i want to eat more greens instead of carbs and i can feel na kaya naman

how my phone’s wallpaper matches the color of my phone mismo and how the stickers i have at the back of my phone are so cute too (kaway kaway sa may mga 50 pesos din sa likod ng phone nila)

my newest charm necklace; its not so chunky, not so girly, its literally me in necklace form, its perfect for me i love it so much

trying my best to come up with new outfits, especially for work!

[1d1195]

Sam bestie IM FINALLY FREE FOR THE SUMMER!! IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW😭

I will try to make this as short as possible lol

Wait are you seeing Niall like over the summer??? Ahh very excited for you that sounds so fun! And doing nothing is the best! I love doing nothing :)

There’s nothing wrong with gel polish especially if you know that acrylics may be harder for your daily life! I do my own nails at home since when I was younger I went through a phase and I fully believed that I would be a nail tech lol that didn’t happen clearly but I gained something lol anyways I’m sure they look cute!

Wdym A FULL ON HEADLOCK?! And that’s his friend???? Yeah no that’s crazy, I would be so confused everyday because how is that something okay???

Anyways here’s some life updates! I am now BLONDE! I decided that after this past quarter was over I would be bleaching/coloring my hair at home :) I’ve never done anything other than cut my hair really short so I was very excited! Kinda risky considering I have very long, thick dark brown hair but it came out really well I think ! But I’m not staying a blonde because it freaks me out and I feel like I’m wearing weird Hannah Montana wig lol I’m going to mix a burgundy and magenta dye so I’m excited for when it will arrive! I did all of that today (Monday) :)

Also while I was waiting for my hair to lift I FINALLY read Thursday and Strong! I will try to make my thoughts short once again lol okay so of course I loved reading these both! I really loved seeing how they both changed over their break up and I think that even though they did change for the better, their love never really went away. But tell me why the whole coffee scene just gave me second hand embarrassment for that man HAHA I love the whole dramatics of it all! Plus I love that casual drop of her ex being mentioned because you know if you ever write about it I love me some jealousyrry 🤭

Now Strong?!? IT MADE ME SAD!! But I still enjoyed reading it! I related a little too much but at this point what’s new BAHHA also I’m such a slut for a friends to lovers trope so ofc I ate this up! I loved catching up on your posts!

How are you my love?! How is summer treating you? Have you’ve been treating yourself well? Anyways love you! Missed you lots!-💜

I WAS JUST THINKING YOU SHOULD BE BACK SOON 😭😭 I've missed you so much! How was your finals week? Did everything go smoothly? I'm sure you crushed it as always!

SO fun! I'm giving my hair a healthy summer chop tomorrow myself. My mom insisted I get my hair highlighted for the first time like two years ago. I've always wanted darker hair actually, but I'm pretty content with my brown. But blonde/burgundy/magenta will be a fun change and even though I don't do it with my own hair, I think it's fun to make changes! My hair grows so fast I'll probs be back to this length by the end of the summer. I love a Hannah Montana look though! That's so funny! It sounds like a great way to kick off summer and change things up! Tell me how you like it with the new colors in it when you get it done!

I actually already saw Niall on Saturday night. He's a cutie pie! His vocals are so nice and I was MOST impressed by his violinist Emily. She was number one SO talented. Also gorgeous. Unsure how she didn't kiss him while she was singing because her mouth was like two inches from his face when they sang together and I wouldn't have been able to help myself 😭 He said Boston felt like he was home in Dublin that he would be back etc. etc. 😭😭 It was such a nice night for an outdoor concert!

My gel polish is atrocious now. I also have a bad habit of picking at my cuticles/nails so it doesn't help. My nails have already grown out a lot in two weeks and it's so gross looking. The second it starts to chip my lizard brain is like "pick." I don't want to pay for another manicure but I might have to. I'm just a girl after all. Meanwhile my gel pedicure has been alive for over a month now and I WANT a pedicure but don't need one. I have the least dexterity for nails. I wish I was talented like that and it saves you a ton of money to do it yourself! 😂

I am done with children head-locking one another for a few weeks fortunately and they will not be in my class again so I am all set 😂

I'm glad you liked Thursday. I really didn't love what I came up with, but I'm glad others did. I'm hoping the next time I think about them will be better. Strong was really emotional for me. Didn't really have a similar experience to draw on exactly but the request was so well written. Friends to lovers is ALWAYS a vibe for me. Glad you had time to read!

I haven't really started summer just yet. But I am relaxed for the time being. I'm a little scatter-brained right now and I'm having trouble focusing on reading/writing. Not sure if it was the extra sleep or what. Minimum though, I'm trying to go for more walks this summer. Idk if you remember but one of my goals for 2024 was to be better about my self-care but I've not done a good job tbh. On top of that it seems to be the only thing anyone in my life talks about and it's kind of frustrating to listen to it when I'm lowkey struggling with like eating right, exercising, skincare, hair care, etc. But nonetheless, I'm determined to have a nice summer of relaxing and doing things that make me happy anyway.

Do you have anything fun planned for the summer? Anything you want to do that you're looking forward to? So excited to hear from you! I was truly waiting these last three days like "WHERE IS SHE I KNOW SHE'S ALMOST DONE."💕 Missed you tons! 😉

xoxo

[veebs-hates-video-games]

Ok well. I finally went back to FF13-2 after not touching it for a couple years, and I regret it. I was about halfway through when I took a break to do something else for some reason, and after finishing (most of) the rest this past week I can say it was a terrible use of my time.

It's a shame because for the first half I kept saying it was better in most ways than the original FF13, which I overall liked more than I disliked but had some major issues with the pacing of in particular. By the end though I was getting really tired of it and didn't care enough about what was going on.

I might have less negative feelings if the final area of it weren't by far the worst and least fun part of the game and if the final boss didn't have like 17 phases. I am so tired of the combat system after like 65 hours of it in the original game and another 30+ in this one, and I think they somehow made it less fun in this one despite not changing much. If I'm going to spend most of my time sitting there let the game win fights on its own at least give me more control over the setup of it like 12 did. Everything feels like it takes forever and is way too slow when it's something I can win without much input on my end (99% of fights, like most non-boss trash), but then when it actually does require me to do stuff and it's a close fight (half of boss fights, maybe less) it feels like it goes too fast to react to some things consistently with how fiddly menuing is.

In the original the main interesting decision making was in how you set your party up, and then the fights kind of took care of themselves. In this the interesting parts of the decision making are kind of lacking because the crystarium is just straight up worse, and the way stat gains are explained is...well, they aren't, so I hope you looked it up online before making some bad choices. And then your pokemon are just straight up worse than having a third proper party member, which is unfortunate.

I was enjoying the story progression and structure of the narrative for a while. Not the best thing ever (I have Issues with FF writing and always have), but it was interesting enough to keep me going for a while. The closer I got to the end the less it was doing it for me though. Like the way the time travel is set up and the story is pieced together through that is basically what if Radiant Historia but worse, and some of the character motivations are like what if Xenoblade but worse, and then on top of that it has all the baggage of being a sequel to FF13, which was also kind of a mess itself. As usual for FF games it had a ton of interesting ideas and potential for things they could've done with them, which they then proceeded to squander 60% of like FF always seems to.

I wish I cared enough about the characters to have more to say about them, but I don't really. They're fine, I guess? Weird to have Hope playing such a big role when he was probably the party member I was least interested in in the first game, and I don't love what they did with Snow. It's kind of funny in a sad way that all of the party members of the first game show up or get mentioned somewhat regularly, except Sazh, who mostly just gets the occasional "oh right and Sazh was there too" (with a handful of minor exceptions). That fits perfectly with how the first game mistreated him too though. The big confrontation between him and Vanille is still one of my favorite character moments in a FF game, but from then on he was mostly neglected or used for comic relief, which is a shame.

Also at this point I could be happy never seeing another moogle or hearing one say kupo ever again. I was never nearly as into them as some people, and by now they've just gotten annoying to me. Squenix, you can do better cute mascot characters. Rabites are great, so why do you keep subjecting me to this instead?

Anyway, one of these days I'll learn my lesson and just not force myself to play Final Fantasy games anymore, because I feel like every time I play another one I like the entire series even less, even the ones I mostly liked. FF7R will probably be the decider for me when it goes on sale cheap enough and I finally get around to it. If it's not one of the best games I've ever played I need to set a "no Final Fantasy" policy going forward because they just aren't sparking joy. Things I do for fun shouldn't be making me this grumpy.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I got so tired of the final boss fight that I gave up and uninstalled it halfway through the final phase. My party setup was able to keep it in an infinite stalemate but probably couldn't actually win without a few tweaks, and I had zero interest in redoing any of that fight at all by then when it had already dragged on for so long. And I don't even care about the story enough anymore to watch the final cutscenes online or anything.

[cosmal]

BUTTERCUP — send me a lyric prompt + a character and i’ll write a blurb. fluff smut or angst.

"i wasted so much time on people who reminded me of you" with remus or steve? 🫶🏽

𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 — 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧

summary — steve doesn’t know how to respond when you tell him you love him. you ignore him for a month.

warnings/tags — fem!reader, she/her pronouns, sad!reader, angst, happy ending

wc — 1.4k

Steve, in his stupid mind, really didn’t think you’d care that much if you saw him off in the corner of the party, dancing with a girl he couldn’t even remember the name of. He didn’t even know you’d be there.

But, jesus fucking christ, did the look on your face as you turned to leave the room not break his heart in two.

You’re but a blur as you exit out onto the street, past drunken strangers and designated drivers. Steve feels dizzy running this fast, but he’s determined to reach you before you slip away.

“Y/N!” he calls, tripping on red cups and ping pong balls. “Y/N, wait! I need to talk to you!” Steve has never sounded this desperate in his life, not even that one time at the Byer’s house when he needed to see Nancy.

He doesn’t care one bit. He’s desperate to talk to you.

He’s sure the shock is written all over his face when you actually do stop and turn to look at him. He doesn’t even notice it at first and almost slams right into you. The heel of your sneaker slips backwards off the kerb and Steve has to reach out to grab your elbow to stop you from falling onto your back.

The time he has to stop you from falling is quick. Though the time it takes you to pull his arm off you is quicker.

The first thing he notices now the sun has gone down is how cold it’s gotten. The night air bites at his bare skin and his cheeks almost immediately flush with heat to beat the temperature. The second thing he notices is how you’ve got to be freezing. You’ve clearly forgotten your jacket like always and Steve knows the exact answer he’d get if he went to offer his own.

Probably something like, I’m not cold, Steve. Or, I’ll be fine.

You’re both panting in tandem, chests heaving through puffs of cold fog that exasperate past your lips. Your arms come up to shield yourself. Steve wishes they were his own. He also hopes it’s because you’re cold, not because he’s chased you out onto the street.

“Where have you been?” When Steve had been imagining all the things he’d say the next time he saw you, that’s the worst of them.

“Where have I been?” you snort. You clearly think it’s stupid too.

“You’ve been gone for an entire month.” Steve doesn’t mean to sound so overbearing, but it has been 29 whole days since he’s seen you last. Since he made you cry and you stormed out of his house. The sound of your sobs as you slammed his front door are still seared into his brain.

“Steve, I have something to tell you,” you’d said. He’d never seen you so nervous in his life. And he’d seen you tell your Dad you crashed his car.

“Shoot,” he’d replied. Smiled like always. “Can’t be that bad.”

You’d winced. “You have to promise that you’ll still love me. That we’ll still be friends.”

Steve’s smile had then faded. “Okay, you’re scaring me.”

“Sorry, Steve. Just really wasn’t up to seeing you.” Your voice is bitter and stings more than the wind.

The gravel of the road crunches under your shoes and Steve wants to tell you to get off the road. But he was the one who chased you out here anyways, so you’d definitely just get mad.

“Why?”

Your bitter smile only worsens and Steve feels so stupid he has to bite his tongue and slam his eyes shut.

“Why? Steve if you chased me out here to be fucking cruel, I don’t want to hear it.” He opens his eyes and watches as your frown deepens. Then, your voice grows quiet, “I don’t think I could handle it.”

“I have feelings for you, Steve.” When Steve hadn’t said anything like you hadn’t expected him to, you freaked out. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’ve been trying to figure all this out for the past few weeks and I can't. I thought it was just some weird phase or something. But- but I do really like you and if I’ve ruined everything, then…”

Your panic only worsened when Steve still said nothing. His face was void of anything and your eyes brimmed with hot tears, “…I’m sorry.”

Clearly when you panic, you ramble. When Steve panics, he can’t force a single word past his lips. He wished he had Robin’s ability to overshare in that moment.

“I want to explain some things to you,” he swallows and raises a hand to scratch too roughly at his cheek. Palming over his light stubble and down his neck.

“I think I understand everything pretty clearly. I don’t need you to rub salt into my wound.” You scratch at your own arms and Steve wants to reach out to stop you.

“No, I want to apologise.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for.”

“No, I panicked when you told me everything last month.” It’s not a strong start but you wait patiently for him to finish, “I was a coward and I didn’t know what to say.”

You raise your head to gesture towards the house, “You seemed pretty happy in there, Steve. Don’t act like you're worse off without me.”

Steve’s eyes widen, “Who, her?” He blinks slowly, “She was no one, she was just…”

“Just what, Steve?”

The space between you only grows and Steve thinks you genuinely don’t understand it. He’s determined not to stuff up again.

His shoulders slump forward, “I don’t know. I thought I genuinely messed up with you. I didn’t say anything to you that afternoon and I thought you’d never want to see me again. I know I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

Steve watches the moonlight shine against your eyes when they fill with tears. He doesn’t see them stopping when he says, “I thought I could get over you through other people.”

“And you just thought that was it? That’s all it took for you to give up? You spent the entire month with other people and you didn't even come to explain anything to me?” Your tears have now breached your eyelids and roll down the hills of your cheeks. You don’t move to wipe them away where they pool at your chin and splash onto your shirt.

“I know. I’ve really fucked up.” He turns his head to face the gravel when he murmurs and you struggle to hear him over your sniffles and gasps. “I wasted too much time with people who weren’t you.”

You almost hold your breath to keep the worst of your tears at bay, though it only has your head pounding. “Was that all you wanted to tell me?” you sniffle.

Steve catches your gaze and you both stop, “No.” He shakes his head. “No. I wanted to tell you I feel the same way.”

You blink and more tears roll down your face.Over your trembling lips where you lick them away. “What?”

“I like you too. Lots. It’s ridiculous.” he wants to smile but it feels like an injustice to your upset face.

You shake your head, “Don’t. Don’t lie to me just because I’m crying.”

He steps forward and he thinks if you weren’t so close to the road you’d step back to miss him. “I’m not. I’d never lie to you. Ever.”

“Really?” you sniffle. You want to sound less upset but you just sound pathetic. Steve wants to kiss you silly. Like he always does.

“Always have.”

Your hands flex at your side and he reaches out to grab one. It’s cold and almost stings against the palm of his hand. You surprisingly let him take it and then let him pull you into his side. Not too close that you’d be uncomfortable, just so your shoulders touch.

“So, you really do like me as well?” you ask,hopefully. Nudging the rubber of your shoe into his sneaker. You feel too sheepish, like you weren’t bubbling with anger only five minutes ago.

“Yes.” He squeezes your hand so hard he almost forgets his own strength. “I do. So, so much. And I’m sorry that I put you through all that just because I got scared.”

You shake your head until your hair falls over your face. “Can you just take me home? We can talk tomorrow.”

He smiles too brightly, “Yeah. F’course.”

“You can buy me food as well.” you chide, “Benny’s.”

“I’ll buy you the entire diner if you want.”

[melon-wing]

My Rancher [Jimmy/Tango]

[MASTERLIST] I’ve rewritten the scene from their meeting on Empires slightly and changed some things to make it more gay than it already was. Enjoy :D This is part of me trying to do words for Nanowrimo, so maybe if we’re lucky I will manage some more stories the coming weeks :) ~*~

Tango pushed up the giant hat he was wearing again as it kept sliding down his head. He wondered how someone even smaller than him could wear it. But then again, Shubble seemed like the type of person who didn’t mind just disappearing into her hat and forgetting the world around her. Impulse was chattering happily in front of him as they walked through some sort of tunnel with unfinished tracks.

He gently held the horn he had just stolen- no - borrowed - from one of the chests. The rough surface was warm in his hands now after he had been holding it for a few minutes. It felt familiar, making his whole body feel a little warmer and lighter. It reminded him of good times… When he had seen it he hadn’t been able to leave it there in the clutter of that chest, even if it didn’t make the right sound.

He smiled to himself sadly. After their weird game had ended… After they had died they had tried to cling together, but as the last of them fell a force stronger than anything he had ever faced had pulled them apart. Ever since the moment Tango had crash landed back into Hermitcraft his heart felt like it was missing a piece.

Jimmy…

He wondered what the joyful man was up to. He missed him so much. The soft blonde hair, those sky blue eyes, the excited energy, the way he looked at Tango like he was the most amazing being in that world, the way his whole face lit up when Tango praised him.

“Tango?”

Tango looked over to Impulse and smiled softly. “‘m good. The horn just reminded me of some stuff.”

Impulse looked at him almost as sad as he felt, and it made Tango avoid his gaze, looking at the horn instead. It wasn’t even the right horn. The tone was all off. It wasn’t their sound. And yet holding it hurt and felt so good at the same time. “You know we went along on this trip to get you thinking of something else, right? Maybe you should put the horn away and-”

Impulse stopped right in the middle of his sentence, making Tango glance up at him in confusion. But Impulse wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was looking past Tango at something ahead where the tunnel ended.

It felt like time itself slowed down as Tango turned around, following his friend’s gaze. The horn slipped from his fingers, falling to the ground. Everything seemed blurry and unrecognizable. Everything was just background noise in his vision. Everything that is, but the blonde man standing right in the middle of the tracks. Sure, he was in a different outfit than the last time they had met, the hat he was wearing just as ridiculous as Tango’s, but it was definitely him. Tango stopped in his tracks and the second their eyes locked so did Jimmy. For a moment the world around them seemed to disappear. He was pretty sure somebody was grumbling some annoyed comment, but it was all just distant noises. Jimmy looked him up and down in disbelief and Tango felt almost shy. He had changed a lot since they last met. His whole outfit was so much more over the top than his usual attire, and his hair was bright blue. Impulse had teased him endlessly about his ‘edgy phase’.  Maybe Jimmy wouldn’t recognise him. Or he would and wouldn’t like the changes. Maybe…

“Is that…?”

The words were a soft whisper, but Tango could still hear it as if Jimmy had shouted them and as his lips turned into a smile the spell that had frozen both of them seemed to be broken as Jimmy darted forward, arms flying around Tango. “My rancher?!”

Tango laughed loudly as Jimmy squealed. “My rancher buddy!”, he just exclaimed to answer the half question. The moment he did Jimmy’s squealing just got louder and those strong arms lifted Tango off the floor as if he weighed nothing, spinning him around in circles as they both laughed. When they stopped Jimmy put him down gently, but he was still not letting go, pulling Tango close against his chest.

“You’re here”, Jimmy whispered softly and Tango just nodded, clinging onto the body he was being pressed against, those strong arms finally around him once more. Oh gods how he had missed this. When he took in a deep breath it felt so familiar. The earthy scent was almost the same as back on their little ranch. 

“I’m here”, Tango just replied, moving back a little to look up into Jimmy’s face. What he saw was his own emotions mirrored back at him. The joy of seeing one another again when they had not known if they ever would or could.

“I tried to find you. I built machines, made plans. I tried everything I could”, Tango said, thinking back to his desperation right after they had been ripped apart. It had taken him far too long to accept that he wasn’t able to get to Jimmy without knowing which of the endless worlds he was in. “I thought I would never see you again. Even Grian didn’t know where you had gone.”

Jimmy nodded, a deep sorrow hidden below the joy. He opened his mouth when somebody next to them groaned and suddenly Tango became aware of the world around them again. 

“Just kiss already and get this mushy romance show over with. I think the Sheriff’s squealing made my ears bleed a little.” Tango looked to the side where Joel stood. Though he almost didn’t recognize the man. He was taller, almost not fitting into the tunnel and he was wearing some white toga like dress. Tango wondered how he could have even overlooked a giant like him. But all he had seen that moment was his rancher.

“Joel!”, Jimmy all but screeched and when Tango looked at him his face was the brightest of reds.

“What? I know you want to do it. He’s been all you were talking about. It’s even worse than when you were with Scott and you guys are not even dating yet. So hurry. We got a tour to finish.”

Tango could hear Impulse snort in amusement, throwing him a glare that promised pain if he did a similar speech to Joel’s, though he knew his friend really wanted to do just that. It hadn’t been any different for them after all.

“I can’t just kiss him. Stop talking nonsense. You’re ruining my reunion.”

Tango smiled softly at Jimmy’s absolutely flustered expression. Well, there was one way to save the poor guy from his embarrassment. Tango gently took a hold of Jimmy’s face, turning it so he was looking back at him once more. 

Jimmy looked so adorably confused at his action. His cheeks were still tinted red and when they looked at one another Tango could just tell that their feelings were mutual. They hadn’t just been buddies on a ranch. They were soulmates, then and now. Even with the bond gone their souls had stayed connected in some way.

“Well if you can’t then I will have to do it”, he said, getting on his tiptoes to press a kiss against Jimmy’s lips, taking in the shock and widened eyes for a second before closing his own eyes. The grip around him tightened as Jimmy tried to pull him even closer, their  mouths moving softly and slowly against one another. It was perfect. When they pulled apart Tango’s smile was just as wide as Jimmy’s and they shared a slightly awkward giggle. This was new. And weird. And yet… just perfect.

“Well…”Jimmy started.

“Well”, Tango just repeated and they both giggled again. “I think it’s pretty obvious that feelings are mutual here, huh?”

Jimmy nodded, looking at him like an adorably lovesick puppy. It was just too cute to take.

“So”, Jimmy cleared his throat, slowly hesitantly loosening the embrace and letting his arms fall. Even after they had just shared a kiss he looked nervous, taking off his sheriff hat to run a hand through his hair. “You want to date me?”

Tango smiled. What an idiot. What an absolute idiot. 

“Yes. I would love to.”

[niobe-loreley]

Heaven Is In A Shortcake {xi}

BEEN TOO DAMN LONG AHJFNHSAEFKJHUN to make up for such a mini hiatus on the fic, I'll be posting two more new chapters because I've got the next three chapters hot and ready to serve!

disclaimer: The Gray Man and the characters are NOT mine, even the reader. I only own the plot and the reader's character lol. Pictures used in the fic are NOT MINE, but only the edited version (u can msg me if u ze owner); credits to the rightful owners and canva + weheartit. Addtionally, I am not a Subic/Zambales native, so my apologies for any wrong locations, descriptions, or languages.

Six x F!Reader / Courtland Gentry x Female Reader

warning: moderate amount of swear words. some filipino dialogues. slow burn. fluff. trust issues. comedy if you use a magnifying glass. culture shock. word count check or not. slightly proofread/revised.

CHAPTER SELECTION is in the ✨Masterlist✨ Chapter 10 is nowhere here Chapter 11 is the chapter right now

word count: 2.1k (N/N) = nickname *Kiara = Claire *Kurt = Court *cover names = reader doesn't know (except you do know #wreckthe4thwall)

For an entire fortnight, Court has successfully not asked you. It is hellish to be in this phase, especially when he hasn't experienced it in his lifetime. Sure, there were people who would flirt with him during missions, and he would flirt back if it's part of his staged identity or the mission isn't commencing yet. And sure, he's shared a bed with someone— and he leaves after an hour.

But he has not asked anyone out. Nor has he had any volition to date anyone until you came along.

This is new territory for him, uncharted waters he never imagined he'd be able to venture. And you're almost like an alien; or maybe he's the alien because he doesn't know the first thing in asking someone out. What is being human, anyway?

Oh, yeah.. that’s how far he has spiraled down the rabbit hole.

"Stare anymore at her and she'll turn into a puddle."

Claire's teasing remark pierces through his thick skull and ceases his haywire thoughts.

Court coughs, noisy and awkward. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Now, that's just plain out idiotic and sad."

"Would you rather pay for the meal tonight?"

"I'd pay for our meal if you ask (N/N) out."

"Tha-That's.. that's not what's happening."

"Again, idiotic and sad."

"You're idiotic." he fires stupidly.

"You're mean."

"You're rude."

"You're a moron."

"You—

"You're watching Playground Insults live!" you chime in with a laugh, "What's going on here? I just went to get extra tissues and you two are fighting."

The pair beams at you as Claire kicks Court in the shin. You hear it, but don't address it, so you wait for either of them to say a word. But besides the music bouncing around the cafe, there's only Claire's shoes rebounding off Court's leg. And Court is smiling at you like nothing is happening.

You look between their grinning faces, and yours begin to falter. This is getting too weird.

"I'm gonna go," you uneasily say, waving before you glide back to the counter.

"You're gonna lose your chance." Claire singsongs quietly.

“Shut up,” he grumbles.

Seven days pass by like that. Every day Court contemplates and practices how to ask you out, while talking to you through the transceiver every other night. Claire badgers him that she can help, but he doesn't accept it. So instead, she suggests having breakfast and dinner at the cafe during your shifts after one week of Court's no-show-courting. Court comprises by deciding they'll additionally have breakfast on Mondays and dinner on Saturdays.

They did, and nothing has yet to happen.

It’s Saturday again, it now heavily dawns on Court that he is still at square one for two weeks straight. Even though he has no experience, he sure as hell knows it doesn't take this long to ask someone out on a date.

"I'll ask (N/N) out if you don't get your balls together and just do it." Claire snarls with a mouthful of brown rice.

Court is appalled by her vulgarity, but he doesn't chide her for it. If even Claire has reached her frustration limit, he's no longer at square one— he's down to square negative five.

"I'll do it after dinner," he declares, frowning determinedly.

She snorts incredulously. "I'll believe it when it even happens."

You're serving them dessert by the time they finish dinner. "Enjoy our delightful dulce de leche cake roll!" you beam and swivel around, only to turn back to them when Court calls you. "Yes?"

"Can I talk to you in private?"

"Whatever it is you have to say to me, you can say it in front of Kiara!"

He blinks at you. "What?"

You snicker. "She said that you might ask me something, so she told me to say those words to you."

Court glances between the two of you before settling to scowl at the younger girl. "When did you even have time to tell her?!" he demands, unsure whether to feel betrayed, horrified, or amazed.

"Doesn't matter," Claire wolfishly grins.

"So, what is it?" you ask, looking straight at him.

Systems critical— yet his heart starts drumming like it's in a rock concert even though his brain is malfunctioning from having eye contact with you. He averts his gaze to compose himself, quietly breathing in and out, he rises from his seat and stands in front of you.

What a bad decision. You're too close.

"I..." he trails off, reddening. "Will you..?— Um.. you see, I.."

Claire facepalms, both embarrassed and vexed at her surrogate father.

"Are you having a stroke? Just spill it out, Kurt." you laugh.

He notices Claire mouthing something at him—

If you won't ask her, I will.

Court gulps, gazing into your eyes, he tightens his jaw. Here goes nothing..

"(Y/N), will you go on a d—?"

"Honey, I'm home!"

A guy brusquely bursts in the cafe, Court recognizes his voice even though he only heard it once, and you facepalm to hide your pink cheeks. “Para kang tanga, tol. Sabi na huwag kang gaganyan habang shift ko pa,” you chide the guy as he strides to your side.

You’re like an idiot, dude. I told you to not do that when it’s still my shift,

He snickers. “Ba’t ‘tol’ tawag mo sa jowa mo?” and pecks you on the forehead.

Why are you calling your boyfriend ‘dude’?

You frivolously wipe the spot he shortly put his lips on. “Firstly, Erick, you’re not my boyfriend. Secondly, don’t kiss me without permission.” you frown and jab him on the stomach.

Unbeknownst to you and Erick, but knownst to Claire, Court’s world has ruptured with spiderweb cracks. He feels as though he’s the one whom you struck in the gut; he’s kinda debating whether or not he can ask you to punch him in order to wake up from this stupidly horrifying dream. But then Court realizes that if he puts his head through the wall to wake himself up, reality is going to seep in and burn into every crevice of his brain.

And reality is much harsher than the nightmare he thinks he’s in.

He’s a little too late.

“Court, what were you going to ask?”

Your voice, smooth like the silk strangling his throat, reels him out of his daze. Court tries not to focus on Erick’s arm on your shoulders and mulls over what to say. “I was gonna ask if.. there’s still some strawberry shortcake left for a takeout.” he replies with a small, forced smile.

He thought only Claire could see through him. But you stare at his tight-lipped demeanor as though you understand what’s happening.

Nevertheless, you don’t know why.

“Y-Yeah, there’s still half of the cake left.” you say, glancing at Claire, who can’t even muster a fake smile.

“Can I get two slices from that? One for you and me,” Erick chimes in, winking down on you, squeezing you closer to his side.

“Actually, I was going to buy all of the half.” Court interjects crisply.

There’s a heat in his tone that you and Erick sense immediately. You internally muse that it’s either Court is really adamant about having more strawberry shortcake or there’s something else amiss. 

“Forgive my dad.. (N/N) got him addicted to strawberry shortcake.” Claire laughs to extinguish the growing tension.

“Sorry, dude, customers first.” you elbow Erick’s side with a snicker.

“I’ll just ask you to make some,” he coos, aiming to kiss you on the cheek.

You shove his face away. “And I’ll make you pay for the ingredients.”

“As long as you get to bake me some.”

“I’ll make you pay for the cake, too.”

“You’re a horrible girlfriend.”

“Thank you!”

Erick grumbles about going to the kitchen for free food and strict, workaholic girlfriends. He’s about to turn, but you hop to your tip-toes and peck him on the cheek.

You face the father-daughter duo while Erick becomes a statue as though he made eye contact with Medusa. “I’ll be right back with the cake!” you beam, “Are you gonna pay at the counter or..?”

“At the counter,” Court replies, glancing at Erick still frozen on his spot.

“Great!”

Once the cake has been boxed, you escort the father-daughter duo out of the cafe. The warm air instantly decks the chillness from the cafe, Court wishes he can punch that guy you're dating just as easily. But the one who deserves a broken nose is himself.

This is what he gets for stalling. No matter how nervous and unprepared he is, he should've just asked you out. Because knowing you, you'd understand why he would suck at dating and liking someone. You'll probably laugh at him, but not in any way contemptuous, and reassure him that you can guide him in dating.

The only problem— the reason why Court keeps putting off asking you out— is: would you have said yes?

“See you two next week!” you grin and wave at them like a child.

“(N/N), can we talk later on the walkie? Here’s the channel and the passcode,” Claire hands you a folded piece of paper, trying to sound enthusiastic instead of disappointed. "Tell me all about your boy toy!"

“More like a boy tool,” you roll your eyes.

“Why is that? Are you just dating him for kicks?” Claire questions, quite enthusiastic.

You snort. “Dating is the definition of ‘for kicks’.”

Claire shortly shoots Court a pointed look, practically shouting at him that he still has a chance, and he turns his head away, trying to drown out her silent bellows. If that’s what you think while dating that tool, then what would you be thinking while dating him?

“So,” Claire intones, hesitant. “You don’t like Erick the tool?”

“I like him.. but not enough to say he’s my boyfriend.”

“Will you like him enough to be your boyfriend?”

“Claire,” Court says in a warning tone.

“What?” she snaps.

“You don’t have to answer her.” he informs you reassuringly.

“No, it’s alright. This is a ‘who knows’ situation,” you shrug, regarding Court for a full five seconds, you then turn to Claire. “There’s a chance, but time will tell. Erick knows it as well.”

You suddenly look at Court and Claire as though you’ve had an epiphany. Court becomes nauseated, thinking that you’re already contemplating on marrying the tool you’re dating.

“Hey, what do you know, that rhymes!” you exclaim with a laugh.

Court stands corrected.

“See you next week, (N/N).” says Claire, stifling a grin.

You wave. “See ya’!”

When Court drives the SUV out into the street, he instinctively glances at the cafe and sees Erick taking the tray full of plates from you. He’s telling something to the customers, maybe explaining his relationship with you. The customers laugh and remark it’s sweet, while you’re blushing and trying to snatch the tray back from Erick.

Claire witnesses the scene before Court harshly steps on the accelerator, rushing the SUV away. He switches on the radio, combing through the channels that don’t have any love songs playing, and Claire slumps into the passenger seat, crossing her arms with a sigh.

“This one’s on you.” she declares dejectedly and stares out the window.

Court grimaces. “Undoubtedly so..”

Claire turns to him. “I’m on (N/N)’s side until you realize how stupid you are for stalling,” and smirks.

“I already do realize it.”

“Well, that’s not enough. Unbuckle your seatbelt, drive really fast, and then hit the brakes so hard you’ll fly out of the windshield.”

“Why are you so violent when it comes to me?”

“'Cuz you’re always asking for it.”

A/N: uh-oh~ you, the reader, have a boyfriend guy you're dating. will you and Erick last long?

ANYWAY~ good to be back! how was the chapter? hopefully yall enjoyed it and don't worry about the next chapter, i'll be posting them later or tomorrow (probably)

Here is the portal to Chapter 12- except it's NOT still in the drafts NO MORE

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*to those who want to be in the taglist, check out the guidelines at the Masterlist pls („ಡωಡ„) thankyousomuch

[abbatoirablaze]

The Nanny, Chapter 8

Word Count:  1.5k

Warnings:  angst

“Are you excited about today?”

Briana looked at you, her brow raising ever so slightly, “why would I have any reason to be excited, mom?”

“Well, your dad’s home and he’s taking you out for a father daughter day,” you shrugged, putting a piece of French toast on her plate.  Your eyes wandered down the hallway where Jake had been sound asleep in your shared bedroom.  Her eyes followed yours and then she rolled them.  You sighed, “hey…what’s that about?  You seemed happy about it last week.”

“Me and mom are going to the Lego store…and then we’re going to the-“

“Dad’s taking me to the mall,” she shrugged, truly seeming let down by what was happening as she cut her younger brother off, “I mean it’s nothing special…he’s just trying to do something with me because he’s been gone almost a year on this last mission.  He doesn’t even know what I like, mom!  He doesn’t know me anymore.  It just feels…weird.”

You frowned, leaning against the counter, “hey…your father was really excited about it last night.  You know he-“

“He doesn’t know anything that’s going on in my life, mom,” she groaned as she cut you off this time, “he doesn’t even know that I’m on the cheerleading squad, or that I hav-“

“A boyfriend…yes…yes he does,” Jake said firmly as he walked into the kitchen.  The tension in the room was thick as Jake’s sleepy voice was overrun by an agitated tone.  You frowned and gave Briana a look and she gasped, catching on to what you’d told him.  But Jake was quick to cut her off, “don’t get mad at your mother for telling me.  I’ve been following your social media accounts ever since my last trip.”

“Mom said I could get them!” she said quickly, looking to you for help.  Both of you knew how Jake had felt about the idea of social media period, but he was adamant on the idea that neither one of the kids should ever have it because of the potential dangers.  But you’d quickly caved just a few months ago, seeing that since she didn’t have a cell phone, social media would be a good way for her to stay up to date with her friends during the summer.

“But did she tell you that you could start seeing that boy?” he asked pointedly, looking between you and Briana, “Did you, Dev?”

“I’m not going to tell her no, Jake,” you shrugged, biting your lip as he began his normal routine.  Briana’s jaw tightened like she wanted to say something, but she kept her mouth shut when you shook your head, not wanting to upset Jake.  She huffed, angry that you didn’t correct him yet again, “he’s a good kid.  I’ve met him and his parents.  Had them over for dinner last month when-“

“When you were gone!” Briana pointed out, rolling her eyes, “maybe if you were home more you would know what’s going on in my life, like a real parent would.  But you’re always gone…”

“Bri-“

But before Jake could so much as finish her name, she’d stomped out of the kitchen and up the stairs.  You gave your boyfriend a sad look and went up to him, wrapping your arms around him.

“She’ll come around, Jake…she’s just going through a phase…she’s a teenager…”you offered, “you know she misses you…she’s just-“

“Being a butthead!” Alex pointed out, cutting you off.  The two of you turned your attention to Alex who was guiltily staring back at you.

“Alex…”

He frowned, “sorry dad…”

“She’s just going through a phase, Jake…”

“I hope so,” he sighed, “I can’t stand the fact that she seems like she hates me anymore…”

“How about this store?” Jake asked, pointing towards an Aeropostale, “your mom says that you li-“

“She’s not really my mom…”

“What?  Of course she is…she-“

“She’s not Dev…”

“Briana…she’s been there for us since you were little.  She’s like a mother to you,” Jake warned, “you’ve been calling her mom for half of your life.  You need to give her the respect that she deserves.”

“I’ll give her this…she’s more of a parent than you are.”

Jake bit his tongue as Briana went into the store, huffing under her breath.  The words struck Jake deeper than he’d cared to admit. 

Sure, he knew that he wasn’t always able to be there in person.  The Losers had been stuck with an impressive case load, and while he’d been with you officially for over three and a half years, you’d always kept him in the loop and made him feel okay about leaving. 

But with how Briana’s attitude had changed within the last few months, he wasn’t so sure anymore.  He jogged to catch up to her, “Did I do something wrong, Briana?”

The words left his mouth before he could stop them.  His daughter turned, stopping the half-committed browsing of the racks and tables.  She crossed her arms over her stomach and glared at her dad, “do you even care about us?  Do you even care about me, Alex, and mom?”

His heart plummeted into the pit of his stomach.

It felt like he was being punched in the chest, and he fought the air that was leaving his lungs far quicker than he would have been okay with.

“What?”

“Do you even care about us, or are we just some things you collect?” she asked angrily, not bothering to pull her punches with her father as she glared at him, “do you have a whole new family somewhere else or something?”

“Briana, no…how-how could you even think that?”

“Well for one, you never tell us goodbye when you leave,” she spat, her jaw clenching as she started her list, “It’s always in the middle of the night, with some half-assed letter.  And we’re left waking up to mom crying in your room because you didn’t even tell her goodbye.”

“Language, Briana.”

“Well, it’s true!” she growled, “you come back and act like everything’s okay.  Like you’ve been here the whole time.  Do you know why mom and Alex are spending time away from us today?  It’s because you missed Alex’s birthday last week.  AGAIN.  You’ve been home for two days and you didn’t even tell him happy birthday.  But you didn’t even notice, or you didn’t care.  You just sat on your work computer while mom tucked him in on the first night.  He was bawling.”

“He was?”

“And mom…you’ve been dating her for how many years?” she scoffed, “she cares about us.  She loves us so much.  She will take care of us when you leave. But what do you do when you come back?  You fuck her and then act like nothing happened.  Like you were side by side at the parent teacher conferences, or Alex’s soccer games, or my football games where I’m cheering.  Or like when she found out she was pregnant and then miscarried.  Or she invited Brandon’s parents and Brandon over for dinner.”

“She was pregnant?”

“Last year dad…” she spat, “she lost it at the end of her first trimester…but you didn’t even know, did you?”

“Bri-“

“You know it’s crazy to me,” she hissed, “you’re oblivious about our lives.  You don’t even kn-“

“That’s not fair Briana.”

“What’s not fair is that she somehow manages to still be in love with you and care about us when you walk away every single time,” she growled, “She still worships the ground that you walk on.  Still wants to be with you.  Do you know how awkward it is to explain to people that she’s my nanny first and my dad’s girlfriend second?  Do you know how many times I’ve heard her explain that she’s not ‘technically our guardian’ to my coaches or teachers, and then grandma has to come and sign off on stuff.  I almost didn’t make the cheer squad because grandma was on a cruise when tryouts were happening, and they wouldn’t let mom sign off as my guardian.  She was mortified as she had to talk to the coaches.  But she got ahold of grandma right in the nick of time.”

Jake felt his heart sinking further and further towards the floor with every word his daughter spat at him.

“I-I made her guardian when I hired he-“

“Your request was only good for that school dad.  When I went to intermediate school and Alex went to the elementary school, we needed it renewed.  Mom reminds you every time you’re home, but you just blow her off.”

“No, I-“

“Did you even realize that you’ve been calling her by mom’s name the last two times you’ve been home?” she asked with a growl.

Jake felt his stomach turn, “Wh-what?”

“You’ve been calling her Dev…my real mom’s name…for months now…do you really want to be with mom, or are you just using her as a placeholder for the woman who gave birth to me and Alex?  Because that’s really fucked up!”

“Briana, I-I didn’t mean-“

“You never mean anything, dad,” she spat, pushing past her father, heading towards the entrance of the store, “I want to go home…I don’t want to be out…”

“But we-“

“I want to go home, dad.”

Chapter 9

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