#what an absolute goofball

[brielarsonist]

she is the love of my life

[hart-on-my-sleeve]

Lance Russel's Nose... Before it became Barbara Streisand's nose for Outrageous Conduct and Terry Funk's Great Texan.

[thymeskip]

so uhmmmmmmmmm

let me explain .

IT’S THE MAN

LOOK AT HIM

HE’S SO GOOFY OH MY STARS-

he also just looks so done with all your bullcrap lmao

he’s about 10 seconds away from just obliterating everyone in his path

he’s about 26 miles from your house and rapidly approaching

[omniscient-me]

wtf 😭

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

didn't know laughingstock was a thing for the longest time but I have never been more quickly on board with a ship in my LIFE

...

(get it? on board? ship? im so funny)

yeeHAW welcome aboard the SS.Laughingstock, it's in a constant state of nearly sinking but not quite! there are no lifeboats!

[extradimensional-catboy]

This post is brought to you by McWaddles.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Bebe Hart & Holly Alto What if we lived in the same town and were both good and our parents had bad reputations we were actively fighting against and we were both girls?

[pandor-pandorkful]

I'm looking for good horse action photos to reference to help me finish up a centaur drawing

But I keep getting distracted by photos where honse is a silly

Because I really like it when the honse be sillay

[just-crepes]

Is part of one piece just a grandpa trying to ruin his grandson's dream to be pirate king, no way?!! 🤣

That's so fucking hilarious that that's a part of it I can't deal ✨

[the-kipsabian]

seriously bobby orlando is one of the funniest fuckers in the indies right now and youre doing yourself a disservice not following him and his work, both in the social media and in the ring

[francesderwent]

locklyle and cangel—sister ships?

[camgoloud]

sister was asked for the name of scrooge’s former business partner and, ten minutes later, that of his current assistant; answered “bob marley” both times; i love christmas trivia

[titaswrld]

deadpool!

….as your boyfriend.

description: deadpool as your boyfriend!

pairing: deadpool x you!

contains: 18+, mentions of sex!

|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.

- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.

- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking

- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.

- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.

- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.

- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.

- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.

- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you

- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭

- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.

- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!

- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.

- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.

- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.

- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭

“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”

“wade-“

“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”

- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break

“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.

“prick…”

…

“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.

“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.

“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.

- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.

“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”

“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.

sigh.

- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!

- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..

- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7

“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.

“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.

“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.

you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.

- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg

- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.

- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!

- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.

- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.

- trying a new thing every night multiple times bc that sex is never vanilla and that dick is never tired! at some point he’s just making positions up😭

[gamblersdoll]

bakugou is absolutely a goof at times.

sure, he is mostly stern and big ballin’ shit.

but the moments he gets a little loose, hes a goofball. but he also annoys you.

“baby.” he says, standing behind you. he leans against the island table and stares down at you while you cook whatever meal you both were craving.

“yes?”

“baby.”

“yes??”

“baby!”

“what!?” you shout, looking back to him and he has a shit eating grin. you wanted to pop him right there, but he started to giggle a little.

“you so fuckin’ pretty.”

or he likes to give head doogies, putting you into s head lock and pressing his knuckles into your head.

“get the fuck!—“

“my little knucklehead.”

or especially when it comes to social media, tiktok especially. he does whatever little dance you bring to him but does something weird. he can never be serious in them.

hes a hidden child at heart, always doing something to annoy you. (this also includes rough housing, you might land a good smack on his good arm and hes laughing in pain, immediately hitting you back. just to get the same spot hit.)

and bakugou wouldnt trade this for the world, knowing he can finally get past this rough exterior.

[avocado-writing]

i neeeed smth silly with wade and his s/o having a stereotypical teenage girls' sleepover- painting their nails, gossiping about boys (logan) and trying to style wade's wack ass wig.

sigh unfortunately i am in love with The Idiot

Honestly? You’re pretty fucking happy.

Wade is incredibly attentive. A goofball, sure, and the kinda guy to take things a little too far sometimes - but he can always tell when there’s something wrong. You’ve been far too stressed. Work has been getting you down, too much pressure with not enough appreciation, and it just feels like you’re being ground into the dirt by someone’s heel. Your usual enthusiasm when you come home has been ablated and you’ve barely been able to give Wade a smile recently. 

So tonight, when you walk in with gloom heavy around you, you’re pleasantly surprised when the apartment is lit with candles and your favourite album is playing quietly on the stereo. Wade looks up from where he’s judging between two facemasks. 

“Okay, we can go with ‘jasmine tranquillity’ or ‘rose seduction’. I’m feeling ‘rose seduction’, but maybe that’s because sensuality is my middle name. Well, one of my middle names. Wade Winston Sensuality Wilson.”

You put your work bag down and fix him with the smile which can’t help rising over your face. 

“What’s all this?”

“I couldn’t have my pookie ending their week on a bum note. I co-opted the place for ourselves tonight.”

“And Logan doesn’t care? Al?”

“Out drinking and at bridge, respectively. I’ll let you guess which one’s where.”

The image of your gruffest housemate sitting across from three retirees while playing cards makes you snort, and Wade knows he’s got you. 

Now? Now the facemask is smelling the room with soft perfume and you’re swilling your Merlot around in its glass, watching as Wade holds one of your bare feet in his lap and carefully applies red to your nails. There are curlers in your hair but none in his wig, because god knows you refuse to touch that thing any more than you absolutely have to. 

“This wine is nice,” you hum, slightly buzzed from the two glasses you’ve already had.

“It’s not, it was ten dollars, but once you’ve had enough you stop noticing that it tastes like ass,” he replies. Yeah, okay, he’s right. You down the rest of it and lean back against the sofa, watching him work as your vision swims a little. 

“You’re really good at this,” you hum. Wade doesn’t tear his eyes away from where he’s applying varnish in neat, diligent strokes. 

“I can sever a guy’s spine through his first and second lumbar vertebrae from thirty feet away. I’ve got steady hands, babe.” As easily as if he was commenting on the weather he holds up a small tray of press-on decals. “Now, do you want the little apples or the little cherries?”

You snort, gleeful. “Oh my god Wade, did you get those from Claire’s?”

“Yes I did. I went into Claire’s today because I’m confident in my masculinity and it’s a wonderful, joyous place to be.”

“… did Laura go in with you so you wouldn’t feel weird?”

“Yukio. I’m picking the cherries,” he decides with an air of finality. You cradle your woozy head in your arms and sigh, happily. 

“I love you, Wade.”

Finally he looks up, his face melting into a smile. 

“Yeah, I love you too. Now do you wanna watch Definitely, Maybe or Bridget Jones tonight?”

“Bridget Jones. You get weird when we watch the other one.”

“Heh, yeah,” he agrees. 

Taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13

[abswife]

modern gf! ellie headcanons

i'm in love with this woman so this is what she'd be like as your girlfriend <3

nsfw at the bottom mdni

you'd meet her at a vintage thrift store

you'd be there with a couple of your friends and one of them would be like "omg check out the hottie over there"

and you look over and it's ellie looking gooood

then she'd like trip over the carpet or some shit, looking like a dumbass and your friends would immediately lose interest

but not you

you'd be like hot and awkward??

hell yeah

i am a loser ellie truther i won't be stopped

ESPECIALLY modern ellie

like ellie without all of her trauma would be a total goofball lets be fr

so anyway, you'd find a way to talk to her

and you end up securing those digits

you guys would go on a couple dates and start hanging out a lot

you kept waiting for her to ask you to be her girlfriend but it just wasn't happening

so, you took it upon yourself

once you guys are official, she can be much more suave

however, she's still a goober

she would work at a comic book store

and even though she has tons of comics readily available to her, she still owns a like a whole plastic tub of them

wouldn't even put them on a bookshelf, just keeps them in a plastic tub

she DEFINITELY is still a space nerd

maybe she's a student studying astronomy or something

her idea of a date is watching a movie at home and eating ramen noodles lmao

idk why but i feel like when she's at home she just refuses to wear a shirt

like she is just constantly walking around in her sports bra

she also ABSOLUTELY owns a pair of dinosaur boxers and they are her favorite

her favorite pet names for you are babe and pretty girl

and probably like "my little crunchwrap supreme"

she's the type of girlfriend that would do stupid shit to impress you

like she'd try to jump over a trashcan or something in public and totally eat shit

absolutely oblivious to how hot she is

like girls will stare at her in public and when you get huffy about it she's like "??? what are you talking about?"

nsfw

she is usually a top but will bottom if you ask nicely

despite her awkward and silly personality, in the bedroom she's actually very confident and sexy

though she still likes to mess around and have fun

a MUNCH

she could eat pussy all day it's her favorite activity

when she uses a strap she acts like it's her actual dick

she'd have you suck her off and she'd be moaning and groaning like she can feel it

when she bottoms she likes to be spanked oop-

however a little more hesitant to spank you cause she's like "but baaabe i don't want to hurt you :("

though it doesn't really take much convincing lol

she's got a high libido

bby likes to fuck at least every other day like she's a horny little monster