#what can you do but try to convince yourself it wasn't luck you escaped his fate. what can you do but try to convince yourself that you got

[willowcrowned]

the thing about qui gon and rael is that like. rael thinks qui gon is the version of him who didn't fail, right? qui gon was the one who didn't have to kill his padawan in the end. qui gon was the one who didn't fuck up in a way that unmade him. and qui gon knows that. qui gon believes that. qui gon thinks that all that's standing between him and the utter destruction of what's left of rael is the bare fact that he wasn't the one to physically kill his padawan. rael for qui gon is a version of himself that he hates. and that's something he can't ever acknowledge

[besthimbomachine]

my love when it counted. 01

summary: When Kenny’s ex girlfriend is hired to work at AEW he is forced to face his mistakes, his feelings, and the mess he’d made of something he once treasured. Not an easy thing, but pretending each other don't exist in some backstage cold war really wasn't going to help. (there was no abuse, violence, or cheating in their previous relationship) pairing: kenny omega x reader word count: 3337 warning: none, a little angst if you squint starting off easy in this chapter, this is more of an introduction, we pick up the pace (and the drama) way more in the next one, and you can expect smut later on in this too. Meanwhile, I'm also gonna be working on that smut yall voted for, so keep a watch to see when that comes out! Anyways, here is something that's NOT smut for you to read on this Holy Friday!!

01.

“Shit.”

Kenny’s hushed voice broke through the noise in the food court, his broken half whisper reaching Matt across the table. Looking up, he caught Kenny’s eyes widening in shock, like a deer in headlights. He watched as his friend went from shock to tension in a moment before he sent his gaze scattering down. Shit, and here he thought he’d be able to have a calm, peaceful meal. Just his luck.

By this point, Matt didn’t even need to look back to know the footsteps behind him were yours. Kenny’s reaction was confirmation enough. Just as the man looked down, you passed by Matt on your way, almost as if on cue. You walked in silence, but the sound of your boots cut through the background noise like a dagger. 

Matt knew you were pretending you didn’t see them. Well, pretending you didn't see Kenny. Whenever you saw Matt by himself you were always friendly. On his side, Kenny was - badly - pretending he didn’t see you. That was the unspoken agreement between you two. A cold war that felt terrifying from the outside, but that Matt only saw as sad. He could still remember the days when Kenny and you almost spoke in your own little language. Now he had to watch the two of you act like strangers and just come off being passive aggressive.

Looking up, Matt caught sight of an almost skittish Kenny finishing off his burger in a hurry. There was something unspeakbly weird about watching Kenny fucking Omega looking like some sort of stressed out prey animal. It could be even funny, had he not known that Kenny was more haunted by his own emotions than by you yourself. This was just depressing, tiring, and something Matt had told the man to solve even before his return to the ring. Looking around, he could already see a couple of people looking in his general direction, a sight escaping his lips as he looked back up again.

Kenny turned back to his friend just in time to catch a disapproving expression that he knew all too well by now. Honestly, he wasn’t doing this on purpose. It was just his reaction whenever you entered the room. Just as much as he was sure you weren’t doing the death glare on purpose, you just got on the defensive whenever your eyes crossed. The problem is, it wasn't easy avoiding each other. This situation was an every other show type of thing since Kenny returned to the ring. You’d cross each other for a few seconds and the air would already be tense. 

Shit, sometimes he wondered how he convinced Tony he’d be fine working with his ex.

But there wasn’t much else he could say about it. Kenny genuinely thought he could handle it, but he severely miscalculated your piercing gaze. Besides it’s not like he had anything he could do when Tony personally brought your name up. What would he say? ‘Yeah, no, don’t hire that amazing wrestler at the height of her career because I botched our relationship years and years ago’? Not the most valid of arguments. So, he sucked it up.

Or he tried, at least. God only knew he was trying. When Tony decided he’d hire you, Kenny had still been in recovery. Your name hit him like something out of this world. He felt like the air was infused with your perfume but turned ice cold, freezing his lungs as he tried to draw breath. Like flowers in a graveyard, the bitter sweet beauty of something long gone.

You were good - great actually. So it only made sense. The best business decision. He’d have made the same call in Tony’s place. Besides, far be it from him to stand in the way of your career. So, when the topic of conversation came to that and Tony finally asked if Kenny would be ok with it, he easily agreed. Nodding his head and smiling, assuring himself that it would work. It would have to.

But back then he was still in recovery, stuck at home. This problem would be for another day. But the day always comes. His first two weeks back he hadn’t seen you. No show he was at, you were at. It was a blessing and a curse, living on the edge of a precipice, waiting for the moment he would fall. So, as he waited, he tried to mentally prepare for the inevitable day your paths would cross.

It didn’t work. 

Of course it wouldn’t. How does he even prepare for something like this? You were like a force of nature - at least for him - wrecking his emotions like a fucking tornado. You had that effect on him. The love, the pain, the guilt - just the sight of your eyes stirred them all up in him. Like a storm contained within your gaze.

At first he tried being civil around you, it had been over five years, he was sure you could do it. And you could, playing civility like a good adult, a bit too well even. But the cold politeness of your voice froze his lips and dried his throat. He could feel the burn in his skin, like being dropped in an icy lake. Any deviation from that tone was always aggressive, and Kenny knew your anger was justified, he couldn't really blame you.

It didn’t take him long to decide that speaking was way worse than not speaking. The new plan was to keep his head low and dodge confrontation. He’d avoid pissing you off and maybe, if you were both polite about the whole thing, you’d seem like just strangers. Just leave you to your business and hope you wouldn’t see each other quite so often. Too bad for him, there is only so much space backstage.

“Come on,” Matt’s voice broke Kenny from his thoughts. 

When he looked up again he saw Matt getting up, holding the last of his fries as he signaled for them to go. Kenny could see the same disapproving look still burning in his friend's eyes. Getting up, he followed Matt, though, as he got back to the hallway, he stole another glance before turning around. 

Kenny’s gaze caught yours, just as you were turning back, coffee in hand. The sight was almost nostalgic, like he’d been sent straight back to the past. You had a match in thirty minutes and Kenny remembered this habit of yours pretty well. You’d always get coffee before a match, almost your own good luck charm. For a moment it was like time just hadn’t passed. But the moment soon was gone as he followed Matt into the hallway.

You watched as Matt and Kenny turned a corner, Kenny’s eyes catching yours for a second before they were both gone. There was tension in your muscles and bones as you started making your way to your locker room. You’d been trying to avoid Kenny as much as possible, avoid his gaze like it was the devil. Though, every now and again you’d turn around and find him staring at you. Find his eyes on yours only if just for a moment. And every time you met those baby blues you could feel all the pain you’d pushed down bubbling up to the surface.

Sometimes you wondered if accepting this job had been the right thing to do. Maybe you should have passed it down, thanked Tony for his offer and sent him on his way. Not that you had much of an option though, your time at WWE had finally started wearing you out. The lack of creative freedom making everything  a constant struggle. You almost lost your love for this job all together. 

So, when Tony Khan came forward with an invitation, you had no choice but to accept. What else would you do? Leave wrestling at this point? Not an option. Returning to New Japan was on the table, but you knew that whole place would scream Kenny. You wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without remembering that man. In the end, AEW was the best option. And they offered more money than New Japan, it was easy math.

The only problem was being around the man himself. But you knew that as long as you didn’t have to spend too much time together, you could do it. Be civil, be polite, be professional. You tried that, until he decided to just start pretending you weren’t there all together. And if that was the way he wanted things to be, so be it. Enough of civil and polite, you’d be silent, be curt, be distant. And try not to get caught watching one of Kenny’s matches from one of the backstage monitors. Again.

You couldn’t be sure if Matt knew that you knew, but from the corner of your eye you’d seen him watching you before you moved away. He was courteous enough to not mention anything when he came up to talk to you, and for that you were more than thankful. That was early into Kenny’s return, early into you both seeing each other again. Matt - and Nick - had kept that respectful politeness, never bringing your previous relationship up. You were friendly with the brothers and they were friendly with you. But you could feel in Matt’s eyes that hidden look of sorrow reserved for when you can’t really say what you are thinking.

In all honesty, you were just thankful you weren’t getting this look from anybody else. If Nick had the same feelings he did a better job at hiding them. You weren’t close with Adam Cole so you couldn’t know what he thought, but you didn’t really think he cared this deeply. And Hangman, despite being very friendly and warm since your arrival, never really tried bringing up the topic. Anybody else who’d know the story were also smart enough to keep to themselves. It was better that way. You figured that since Matt was closest to Kenny, he’d be the one most involved in this whole ordeal anyways.

As you arrived at the locker room you convinced yourself that it didn’t matter now. It was all in the past. Kenny, his selfish behavior and any feelings you had for him were now relics that you promised to leave behind when you took that plane in Japan. You were a different person from all those years ago and Kenny could hold you down no longer. And if Matt had anything to say he could speak up or leave it. But now, neither of them mattered, you had a match to fight. A match to win. And win you would.

From his spot backstage Kenny could hear clearly the moment your entrance music started playing. The crescendo of the beat over the booming crowd filling his ears as he made his way around the place. The song now was nothing like the one he had gotten used to associating you with. It was more aggressive and intense than your old New Japan song. It was a good song, great even. But it made his heart heavy with the realization of how much time had passed, and how time can change people.

Before the bell could ring he spotted one of the monitors backstage, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw you on the screen. He’d gotten into this bad habit since he returned, whenever you had a match he’d find the most isolated TV backstage and watch it from there. The first time he did it he said it would be only once, to fill his curiosity, he wouldn’t keep on doing this. Clearly, that didn’t work out.

Truth is, he didn’t watch your fights before you came to AEW. Well, mostly. In the beginning he refused to watch your matches out of pride. But when your absence started gripping at his heart he finally caved. Kenny missed you with him but he missed seeing you in the ring too, New Japan felt emptier without you. So one day he gave in and watched one of your fights.

He tuned in just as you were making your way to the ring, sporting new gear with a bold new song to go with it. The match started and you were beautiful, magnificent even. An exuberant exhibition of power and athleticism, of speed and resilience. You were better than before, stronger, more daring. An unleashed storm that had stayed far too long contained. It had been a few months since you left and you were doing well. You seemed to even be doing better. 

Kenny could feel jealousy and envy gripping at him, tasting like acid in his mouth. He wanted to hate the way you looked in the new gear but he couldn’t deny how it flattered your body in the best ways. When the match ended and your song played he could feel the music sticking in his throat and choking his breath. But the worst part was the voice in the back of his mind whispering a question: had he been holding you back all this time? When he turned off the TV his throat felt sore and his body tense, trying hard to push these thoughts to the back of his mind. 

That cycle would repeat a couple more times. He’d miss you more and want to know about your life and thus, he’d go looking for your matches - you’d blocked him on social media so that's as good as he got. Though, every time he’d feel bad, at first it was jealousy, but soon it morphed into something heavier, duller, and far more contemplative. After watching a couple of your matches, and feeling pain creep into his mind every single time, he just decided to let it go. Let you live your life without him knowing any of it.

And that was how he lived for years, only occasionally hearing any news about you. That is, until the news was that you were joining AEW. Now he sat in an empty corner backstage, watching your fight from a monitor in the wall. Like an addict, he kept coming back, watching every match with glued eyes. It still brought a tinge of pain from the corners of his mind but he just couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t bear being in the same arena as you and not watching you fight. It just felt wrong.

Time had been kind with Kenny though, mellowing his conflicting thoughts and brash nature until he could finally enjoy the show. He watched as you stood on the ropes, facing the crowd in pride as your song died down. The leather in your gear shining under the spotlights, shaping your body as your exposed skin glowed under the bright colors. It was a sight to behold, you were just as beautiful as the day you left New Japan. Maybe even more. 

The bell rang and the match started and Kenny was already leaning forward, wide blue eyes fixed on your image on the screen. You moved with purpose and ferocity, an electric storm taken human form, just as dangerous and grand. Watching you like this was almost like going back to the old days. Like you’d meet after the match and he’d drag you into some dark broom closet to sate the desire you caused on him. Not like he didn’t want that right now. You still had that same effect on him, the sight of your disheveled hair and the way you looked in your gear having his blood rushing down in record time.

But he knew that was then and this was now. He couldn’t keep on feeding a longing that would lead nowhere. Over the time he’d been watching your matches, Kenny couldn’t help but notice the changes. There was more certainty to your step now, doubt like a non existent thought to you. There was more of an edge too, the hunger and fearlessness of an apex predator. 

It was clear you’d gained experience and wisdom but it still was like time hadn’t passed, at least not for you. You kept the same energy and agility from before, maybe even more. Still fast to get back on your feet, and even faster to regain the upper hand. An athlete in peak form. It made Kenny even more conscious of how he’d started feeling time and his injuries weighing down on his bones. Like he’d aged twenty years while you only aged five.

Shaking his head he tried to ignore those thoughts. Focus on the match, on the way your body moved and the magnetism it held over him, like the ocean to the moon. Kenny watched you with bated breath, shaking in his seat whenever a hit landed, tensing whenever you went down. It was like the backstage got warmer as he could feel the sweat gathering on his hands, lip caught between his teeth as he watched you make the crawl to the ropes.

Kenny hated this part, of course he knew you weren’t made of glass - you’d told him that a million times - but he still did. He was fidgeting in place as he watched your hand reach its target, digging his nails into the box under him. You struggled back to your feet and Kenny’s eyes widened with every shot you took, a smile breaking through his grin when you finally landed a hit again. 

Regaining your footing, you made a run for the corner and Kenny felt his chest tighten. Your love of the top rope always had him tense as he watched you climb up with ease and prepare for a jump. He watched with held breath as you wound up before taking flight, body twisting in the air. With a sigh he released the breath from his lungs as you landed a perfect corkscrew moonsault, the crowd outside cheering alongside him. That sealed the fight as you pinned your opponent and soon the three count was done, bell ringing outside as your song started playing.

Kenny sighed in relief, watching as you raised your fists in victory. You’d won, no ugly hits, no bad falls, a beautiful match, perfectly done. He felt lighter knowing his worries had been for nothing, as he always did at the end of your matches - although, in the back of his mind he always knew, all it took was one unlucky moment. Your song started dying down once more as you made your way back, Kenny getting up and stretching to release the stress in his body. When he turned around, he saw Matt in the hallway.

“She is still quite something, isn’t she?” Matt’s voice was soft, a mix of awe and sorrow seeping through his low tone. Kenny couldn’t tell if that was nostalgia or something worse all together.

“Damn,” Kenny paused, hand sliding down his hair as words failed him for a second, ���she’s something else already. A whole other beast,” he paused again, hoping his voice didn’t betray the tightness in his throat. “Makes New Japan seem even longer back,” with effort, Kenny looked back at Matt, being met with his friend’s piercing gaze and hoping his eyes didn’t reveal the deep crack in his heart or how heavy it weighed on him.

“Yeah,” Matt smiled, white teeth showing but the expression still not fully reaching his eyes, “come on man, show is gonna end soon, we gotta get ready.”

Walking up to Kenny, he threw his arms over his friend’s shoulder, holding tight as he guided them into the hallway. They both knew what Matt really wanted to say - yet again. Though this time Kenny needed to hear this, he needed to talk about it, for everyone's sake. But this was a conversation to be had in private, alway from the praying eyes backstage. So Matt would save it for when the night was over, and hope this time they could make that leap.

[neomujinjja]

YeonKai: Sweet Home Headcanons

Pairing: Yeonjun x reader, Huening Kai x reader

Genre: Headcanons, Alternate Universe

Warnings: sweet home canon violence (character deaths, trauma), crying, mention of k*llng and death, mention of a nosebleed, mention of funeral/cemetery

Note: i'm lowkey surprised that i finished this up in time for the third season; it wasn't the plan but i won't complain about it. idk what happened with kai, it was not my intentions to give him such a depressing headcanon like i did.

Yeonjun

you don't know each other before the outbreak

he's your neighbor

but more in the sense that y'all live on the same floor

the two of you have never actually interacted with each other before this

yeonjun saves you

though it's accidentally

he distracts an turned/infected neighbor when he's trying to leave his apartment

in turn, you save yeonjun back

reaching out to drag him into your apartment when he's running

that 1st night is spent getting to know each other over ramen

when the announcement comes on a few days later

the two of you debate about going down or staying in your apartment

ultimately due to a dwindling food source

yeonjun & you decide to head to the lobby

while packing up, yeonjun keeps an eye on the door monitor

and you do the same after pit-stopping at his apartment

even in the grouped space, you & yeonjun kind of cling to each other

maybe it's due to the built-up trust (or maybe it's m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶l̶i̶n̶e̶ something else)

but whatever the reason behind the connection

you're devastated when one day yeonjun gets the signature nose bleed

he doesn't fight being locked up instead calmly walking in

(like how hyunsu did in S1)

despite what the others say, you stay as close to yeonjun as you still can

you eat, sleep and spend any free time next to the locked storage room

watching you be stubborn makes yeonjuns heart grow fond

he doesn't say anything though

rather opting to continue throwing heart eyes in your direction

(he's shy!~ you can't convince me that yeonjun wouldn't be with the person he feels romantic towards)

(i'll die on that ^ hill; thank you very much)

time skip to the end of S1 cause this is getting long

the escape!

while your hard-headedness charmed him over, yeonjun is hating that trait of yours right now

he just needs you to go with the others without a fight

but no.

there you are: struggling against the other non-infected arms, clinging on to him and his clothes, all while yelling and crying

it's actually breaking his heart to see and hear you in anguish like this

tears rolling down his own face but he has to keep pushing away

it's hard for everyone watching the interaction on the outside too

there the two of you are: crying as you try sticking to yeonjun & he urges otherwise

you're shouting about the two of you looking for each other, needing to watch his back & needing to have yours

when you finally (somehow) leave with the rest, he takes a moment to react

crying and screaming violently

with a tear-stricken face yeonjun turns himself to the military

in regards to S2

you dont stay with the baseball survival group

feeling that you'd be better off by yourself rather than a very large community

you learn how to survive in the new apocalyptic world

trying to best avoid both infected & non-infected humans

sadly you never come across yeonjun as you moved about

it's something that you cry about at night

Kai

you and kai are friendly with each other

in more detail the two of you had a few dates before Day 1

there's no date planned (thank god 🙏) on that fateful day

you and kai just happen to be in the lobby at the same time

he asks what's happening & about the exits being locked

you shrug just as clueless

the two of you stick together despite knowing next to nothing

both of you feel better having the other by their side (holding one another's hands) in the confusing time

you're standing close when the eye(?) monster breaks through the door

luck is on y'all's side cause kai pulls you back just in time and far enough

from that moment he decides that he'll do all to protect you

in the same moment though, the two of you come to a similar conclusion

life is crazy unpredictable right now (more so than usual)

that same night, in the quiet of it all & tucked away in a small corner, confessions are made

you'd think it'd be awkward with only a few dates between each other

but crazier things can happen (like a world apocalypse that can affect anyone at any moment 💁‍♀️)

for the first few nights, you and kai can ignore the possibility of one of you becoming infected

but it's inevitable when hyunsu joins the group

untypical: you guys promise to just let the other go

neither of you can stomach the thought of having to k*ll the other

your connection being deep enough

kai also says something along the lines of wanting to be able to look out and know you're out there even if you're not like yourself

(it sounds like him lowkey 🧐 am i right or am i right?)

but with the protection training

alongside the general calm

y'all grow confident in your abilities

at the same time, your relationship is blooming further

though you can't become content in the new world

cause that means something has to happen

when the infected groundskeeper finds his way into the apartment

you're apart of the fight that happens in that moment

canon still happens with jaeheon taking the infected man out

but you're severely hurt during the scene

there's nothing that the group can do to help

so it's just a waiting game until you succumb to your injury

kai stays at your side, taking care of you and comforting you

he doesn't eat until you taken some bites first

you know how they say people know when it's their time; well you know

you tell kai everything you've wanted to in the time you've known him

alongside now comforting him and wiping his tears away

the two of you share your first kiss seconds before you pass

kai has a hard time letting the others bury you

and after your funeral, kai spends every day in the make-shift cemetery

when the group has to leave

they have to pry him away from the area

kai struggles but he focuses on taking care of the kids

and is able to find solace with Jisu

he stays with the baseball survivor community

becoming something like a big brother to Yeongsu

especially after losing so many people from their original group

but kai isn't the same, he's been traumatized by all the events he's experienced since the apocalypse started

[dalchiid]

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 16

A story of obsession, fear, and lust. You're a maid whose Masters forbid you in meeting their guests for the night but your luck runs dry when you run into them and catch the attention of Lord Hoseok himself. He's smitten from the beginning and thus, your fate has been decided.

Pairing: Yandere Vampire Hoseok x Fem/AFAB Reader

Word Count: 7,833

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Possessive, Angst, Fear, Blood, Biting, Dub-Con, Eventual smut

Will add or remove warnings based on what's in each chapter.

I do not condone the behavior being exhibited in my work. This is solely for entertainment purposes and I hope if any of you are ever in a situation like this that you have the chance and ability to run away from it. Take care out there.

DO NOT copy, edit, or repost my work anywhere.

Chapter 16 Warnings: Yandere, Possessive, Obsession, Angst

Prev | Next

"You are no longer my problem." You look over to Hyung-Won. His eyes begin to fill with tears but you know they are not for you. "Get out."

The words echo in your brain like a buzzing beetle. It slices into every single one of your cells and leaves you feeling numb. He told you to get out. No. Your Master banished you from his home. No. So many things you want to say no to but know you cannot.

Hyun-Woo's cries go in and out of your ears. They bleed pain and anguish. They hurt in a way you know only he can feel but they hurt in a way you can also understand because you're hurting too.

You jump at the soft touch of hands on your arms. You look up to see it's Sunmi and she gives a pained look your way. She looks like she wants to say something but keeps quiet as she helps you up. Your vision is blurry from all the tears that continue to pour from you and you have to depend on the maid to lead you out of the room. Bodies block your way and she has to yell at them to move to get around them. There's some hesitancy until they finally make way and you're ushered off towards a destination unknown.

You feel weird especially with hearing how Hyun-Woo's curses and cries fade off into the backdrop. Nothing feels real. You don't feel real. Endless tears and snot stream down your face but you can't bring yourself to care in wiping them. The best you do is try to sniffle wetly into the cold halls as a broken cry escapes you. Your knees almost give out but it's Sunmi's strong hold that keeps you up. You want to thank her but your mind is preoccupied with the image of Hyung-Won tearfully telling you to get out. He said you weren't his problem anymore. Just the idea that you were his problem to begin with pains you. For how long has he been holding you in contempt? It hurts you to know this and it leaves you feeling helpless. He's been quietly dealing with you in the best way he could but it wasn't enough because you were too troublesome for him. To think this hurts you beyond repair.

"Come on." Sunmi's words are soft. "We're almost there."

You don't know where she's taking you until you reach a familiar setting. She opens your door to lead you in and it's from there does she help you sit on your bed. She walks away from you for a second to grab some tissues for you and it's with a gentle touch do you take them from her. You wipe your face before blowing your nose and relieving your sinuses from the pressure. She takes them from you to toss them out and gives you fresh clean ones before she goes to sit by your side.

Her hand is gentle as she rubs your back. Her other hand placed onto your thigh. You can't bring yourself to say a word. Too afraid of shattering yourself even further.

"I'm sorry."

You turn your head slowly to her. Her expression is pained as she continues on.

"I tried to convince him otherwise but I failed. I'm sorry."

Fresh tears pool from your eyes as your bottom lip quivers. You sniffle. "It's not your fault." Your voice shakes with each word.

She looks away towards the wall before sighing. "I really did try but if it weren't for them he might have been swayed."

Your brows pinch together. "Them?"

She hums. "Lords Seokjin and Hoseok."

Your lips part in slight surprise. "W-What about them?"

Sunmi looks back at you before biting her lip. Like she was second guessing on whether she should tell you until she relents. "They," she pauses to sigh. "They came to Hyung-Won with a proposition. Saying how Hoseok and you have been intimate and how it has been causing trouble amongst everyone - they felt it was only right that you should come with them. That way you'll be out of the triplets' hairs and you can fulfill your relationship with Hoseok sans the secrecy."

You nearly choke on your spit. You shake your head no. "There is no - there is no relationship! Why would they say this?"

"I don't know, honey. I don't know."

"Did Hyung-Won - did he at least hesitate?"

Sunmi bites her lip before looking away. Her action being an answer in of itself.

You swallow deeply before looking down at the tissue in your hands. You feel as a tear slips out and lands in the paper and you watch as it wettens in your hold.

He didn't even hesitate. How could he?

"He hates me."

"No," Sunmi starts. "No he doesn't hate you."

"Oh come on, Sunmi," you cry out. "Please don't lie to me. Master Hyung-Won has done enough of that when it comes to me. He's been forced to play nice for Hyun-Woo's sake but not anymore."

Sunmi sighs as she looks at you. "I wish there was more that I could do for you. I know it's far too early to call what we have a friendship but I was hoping it would lead that way."

You nod as you wipe more tears away. "I was hoping so too."

It hurts. So much of this hurts. The truth will set you free they say but all it does is pain you. How you hadn't noticed how much Hyung-Won despised you is beyond you. Either you were too ignorant or he was a tremendous actor.

Sunmi's hand is gentle as she continues to rub your back. You know she feels bad but you don't fault her whatsoever. There was only so much she could do and knowing she tried is enough for you. Even though she didn't have to because she owed you nothing.

You take the tissue in your hold and wipe your tears. Fresh ones slowly spill out here and there despite you wanting to do anything but cry. You feel like you've done enough of that for a while now but you're in so much pain. Your life has been uprooted in a way that's leaving you feeling dizzy. How could this have happened? Why you? You're back to the same old questions but you can't bring yourself to not ask them when you're constantly being thrown into loops here. It was beginning to be too much. So much so that you've reached a new level of hell. One that's leaving you so confused with so many questions. Why? Just why? Why you?

You sniffle with a sigh. "So I'm leaving then."

Sunmi mimics your sigh with one of her own. "I'm sorry."

You shake your head. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault."

"I know but I wish I could have been able to do more. Anything - something to make Hyung-Won say otherwise."

"That's the thing though," you start. "You couldn't but it's not your fault. As much as I want to blame Lords Seokjin and Hoseok I can't either because this is on Hyung-Won. He shouldn't have been so easily swayed but he was and that falls on him." Your sobs start to pick up at this point and Sunmi has to calm you down.

You are hugged into her side as she rubs your arm now. You still cry but not as hard as before. You are just in so much pain and it's starting to show as anger. Why did Hyung-Won have to be this way with you? Your blood is simmering into a boil and something akin to hate fills you up. You hated the man's actions and his choices. Hated how he could ruin someone's life over the troubles of another because that's what happened here. This was mostly to do with Hyun-Woo not so much you. This was more about his brother than anything else but it didn't change the fact that you were the one suffering. Hyun-Woo will too but you're the one being forced to leave. To uproot everything and get out.

Everything you've ever known now gone. Sunmi, Asher, Hana, Leanna, Ji-Woon - gone. Your poor Ji-Woon who inadvertently became a father figure to you. You'll never be able to see him again and that thought alone pains you. You struggle to control your breathing just from knowing you'll never see Ji-Woon again. You wonder what he must be thinking. Was he even there in the crowd? You were too preoccupied with Hyung-Won to tell. If he wasn't you're sure the news will get to him fast. It always does.

You look up towards the ceiling with a sigh and will yourself to stop crying. Your head is starting to ache and you could barely deal with it. Sunmi's soft touch slowly comes to a stop as she watches you. You can see her from the corner or your eye. The way she looks at you with nothing but pity. You want to make it stop. Everything. The pity, the sadness, the noubt screams that are still tearing through the air by Hyun-Woo. Gods Hyun-Woo. What about him now? Despite recent events the two of you were always together and now you won't be. You won't see him ever again and that hurts you just as much as knowing you won't be able to see anyone else from this estate. There's no way Hoseok would allow you to. His possessive self can rival that of Hyun-Woo's and now you're all his. You'll be working under him now you're sure. Him and his brothers.

Lord Seokjin's words rattle on in your head. You're coming home with them. How could he do this to you? Lie with his brother so easily. A gossiper he was but a liar you wouldn't have expected because there was no way he would actually believe his brother. There was no way he could believe that you and Hoseok had something. Is that partly your fault? When you went looking for Hoseok that you went as far as to ask Seokjin for his whereabouts and only the gods know what Hoseok has been telling him.

What about Lord Jungkook? He was no where to be found. Sunmi made no mention of him either. You don't suspect he has anything to do with this though. He seemed far too into his own world to worry about others. Let alone a simple girl like yourself.

You look forward again before closing your eyes. They ache from all the crying. You rub the inner corner of one of them before relaxing into Sunmi's hold. A sigh escapes you and it seems like that's all you could do now. Just sigh over and over as you open your eyes to reality. This new arrangement being your new reality and you had to accept it. You didn't want to but you had no say whatsoever.

"What now?"

Sunmi squeezes your arm before speaking. "I don't know. This is the Bangtan clan's last night here. Gods know what's going to happen now but for now you're still home with us."

Home. You have no home here. Not anymore.

"I guess I should start packing, huh?"

Sunmi purses her lips as you go to look at her. It's with a sorry look she gives you that you sigh for the nth time before slowly going to stand.

You're running on autopilot now as you slowly gather your things. You place them on your bed and all that's here to accompany you are memories, silence, and Sunmi. You grab each article of clothing and fold them together. You're packing away your things until a thought strikes you. You stand about awkwardly with a garment in your hands as you look at Sunmi.

"I have nothing to put my things away in."

You never had to move having spent all your years in this estate. How will you take your things with you if you have nothing to carry them in?

Sunmi frowns as she goes to stand. "I should have something. I'll go and get it for you."

"What about you? I don't want to take your stuff and leave you with nothing."

"I can always buy another." She shakes her head with a small smile. "Let me do this for you. It's the least I can do."

Before you can respond she leaves your room in a hurry as she goes to fetch her bags.

You pout a little with a sigh before returning to your things. You wonder if you should pack your uniform. No doubt the Bangtan servants' uniform is different. You'll take it with you for now knowing they'll more than likely have you wear it until they can get new ones fitted for you. The Baek servants' uniform is all you'll have from this household that will serve as a reminder that you once worked here.

You fiddle with the button on your blazer. It has the family's insignia on it. It leaves you feeling forlorn and you fold it quickly before placing it onto your bed. You also grab your shoes. From sneakers to your work shoes and your slippers- you line them up next to your bed in silence. Every single thing of yours, you take them and hold them close before placing them together with the rest of your things until Sunmi comes back with a deep purple luggage set of two. One is relatively bigger than the other and she unzips it for you before lying it on the ground.

"You can place your clothes in this one. Everything else can go in the other."

"Are you sure," you ask hesitantly.

She smiles before nodding. "Of course. I promise you that I'm fine with it."

Your bottom lip quivers. "Thank you."

Her eyes seem to gloss over with her soft smile still in place. "Don't mention it."

She helps slowly put your stuff away. Only leaving a fresh pair of clothes with your sneakers and your shower caddy out for tomorrow. You'll wash up when it's time and dress up once it's time for you to leave. You'll pack away the rest of your things then but for now everything is zipped away in the luggage. Once the two of you are done you sit on your bed and look around your room. Though you didn't decorate it with many things it already feels different to look at. Having once looked lived in it stares back at you bare. It brings a fresh wave of tears to fall from your eyes and you have to take a deep shaky breath to calm yourself.

Sunmi goes to reach for you but she stops short when there's a knock at your door. The two of you look at each other with a questioning look on your faces. Your brows pinch together as you look back towards the door and it's with hesitancy do you tell the person to enter.

Your door slowly opens to reveal the last person you were hoping to see. Hoseok enters your room a small smile on his face. You greet him with a frown on your own and your teeth clenched.

"What do you want?" The words leave you clipped.

If he's put off by your air he doesn't show it - only his smile growing a little larger.

He looks at Sunmi whose frown mirrors yours. He looks at her expectantly and she looks to you before back at him. She bows in his presence before looking back at you again and you can tell she's starting to look worried.

Hoseok clears his throat before speaking. "Can I have a moment of privacy with my partner?" Though it's a question you know he's demanding her to leave.

Sunmi hesitates as she stares at you. You don't want her to leave and you know she doesn't want to but Hoseok isn't giving the two of you the chance to have what you want. So it's with a deep sigh do you nod her way.

"I'll see you later?"

She bites her lip before sighing herself. "I'll be back."

You don't say anything in response. You just watch her gather herself before stepping around Hoseok and out of your room.

The door gently shuts behind her leaving you alone with the vampire. He stands before you with his hands in his pockets. His eyes unwavering as they stare your way.

"I see you've already begun packing."

You don't respond.

He steps closer to you until he's knelt before you. His hands come to gently grab your own and it's with a quickness does he grip them when you try to pull away. His thumbs caress the backside of your hands and you begin to tremble in his hold. Your eyes water and your nostrils flare as the need to cry starts to overtake you once again.

"Don't cry, my love," he starts off gently. "You should be happy. Now we can be together forever."

You gasp before sniffling. Tears begin to escape you as you bite your lip to try and hold yourself together.

He shushes you softly as he leans up a bit to place a kiss against your jawline. You tense before a broken sob leaves you.

"Why are you doing this?"

He hums questioningly.

You slowly turn your head towards him before shaking it no. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Hoseok's face shows neither anger, sadness, nor happiness but confusion. "Why would I? Why would I not pursue you when I found the love of my life?"

Your lips part in both despair and disgust. "You barely even know me. I am not and will never be the love of your life."

Your bite is hard but he doesn't even flinch from how cold you are to him. Rather his face slowly becomes devoid of all emotion as his grip on your hands tighten by the smallest bit. He licks his lips before sighing as if he's growing tired with you. As if you're a child who is suddenly throwing a tantrum and he has to deal with it.

"My love," he starts. "You may not understand it now but you will as time goes by."

"Stop calling me that," you grit out. "I am not your love."

You wince as his grip tightens even more.

"I'd stop talking if I were you because if not I'll give you a reason to fear me." His words are like needles piercing through your flesh. They hurt tremendously knowing you are in the situation you are in now. You're with a monster and he's willing to show how much more of it he is to get you to yield to him.

Your bottom lip quivers before you begin to cry more. You whimper in his hold as waves upon waves of tears escape you. In response he gives a sharp tsk before getting up off of the floor to sit on the bed next to you. His hands release your own so he can wrap his arms around you instead. You cry into his chest as he brings you closer to him and you sit stock still as he rubs your back gently. He shushes you as you continue to cry.

You hate that your life has come to this. You want to ask like so many other times over and over again why you but you know you'll be left without an answer. There's no reason why it should or shouldn't be you. Your life just is as it is but you didn't have to like it.

Your cries are heart wrenching as he continues to soothe you. You don't want him to but he's all that you have right now to get you to stop. You continue on like this until there's no tears left to cry and all that's left are small whimpers and wet sniffles.

There's a small kiss to the crown of your head as he parts his lips to speak. "No more of that now, okay? You should rest. We'll be leaving around 3 tomorrow so get as much sleep in before then."

You don't respond. Can't respond."

He kisses your head again before pulling back to look at you. "It's going to be a long ride but once we're home you'll see. You'll grow to love it."

You stare blankly at him as he leans in to place a kiss on the corner of your lips. He doesn't push for more than that and it's from there does he stand to leave you alone where you lie on the bed and curl in on yourself.

What has your life come to?

✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞✞

When you start your day the next day it's slow and daunting. You feel sluggish after having a fitful night of sleep. After Hoseok had left Sunmi came back. Apparently she'd been waiting just outside your room for him to leave. Once he did she came inside and comforted you. She asked what he had said but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. He left you feeling drained and at that point you wanted to sleep. Sunmi was kind enough to stay with you until you finally did sleep. When you awoke in the middle of the night though you felt yourself craving her presence, but you know she needed to sleep herself.

Several times you woke up with tears in your eyes. Life was unfair. That's all you could tell yourself each time. Now you're awake getting yourself ready for the last time in this household. No one says anything to you when you run into them. Either they're afraid to or just don't care that you're leaving. You do manage to find Hana and she tearfully bid you farewell. You remember her hug. It was tight around your middle and it felt like she was doing her best to hold you up as you could barely stand. The weight of your future fell heavy upon your shoulders and it showed. You thought about saying goodbye to the others but you couldn't bare the thought of seeing so many more faces that would look at you with pity. You couldn't handle that. Not after Sunmi did it so much last night and even now as she hugs you goodbye.

Everyone is stood at the entryway giving their goodbyes. She holds you tight as she whispers in your ear.

"I'll find out through Hyung-Won where the Bangtan clan live and I'll write to you. I promise."

You want to believe her but doubt Hyung-Won would be willing to divulge information when it came to you. So you take her promise with a grain of salt. Either way, you thank her as you squeeze her in your arms.

"It was a pleasure being here, Hyung-Won. Again, thank you for having us."

You overhear Lord Seokjin speaking. Him and his brothers stand before Hyung-Won and Hyun-Sik with smiles upon their faces. As if they weren't dragging an unwilling person away.

"You know the pleasure is all ours." Hyung-Won smiles and it makes you want to punch his face as you pull away from Sunmi.

You take note that Hyun-Woo isn't with them and it saddens you. You wonder if his appearance or lack of has anything to do with his choice or not. Lord Jungkook seems to wonder too as he questions where your other Master is.

Hyun-Sik gives an awkward look as Hyung-Won seems to stiffen.

"He uh," Hyun-Sik starts. "He had a rough night."

Hyung-Won clears his throat. "He had to be given some sedatives so it's why he couldn't make it to see you all out."

You frown. They gave him sedatives to prevent him from intervening with this deal. That was the truth and you knew it. How would he feel when he wakes up? You couldn't imagine but right now you could say that you were feeling ill about it all.

You feel a soft touch on your shoulder and you look over to see that it's Ji-Woon. His brows are pinched together as the corners of his lips are dipped down into a frown. At the sight of him your eyes begin to water.

"No, no. None of that now."

You can't help the way you crumble into him as he draws you into his arms. The man has never hugged you before but now he has and his embrace feels warm. His scent is soft and it brings you to calm yourself in his presence. He pats your back a few times as his other hand rests on the back of your head.

"I don't want to go," you whisper.

He sighs as he squeezes you tighter to him. "I know."

He knows but he can't do anything about it. No one can. The two of you are stood here like this for a minute more before you feel him lean towards your ear.

"Please be careful," he says. There's a hint of worry in his tone but when you pull back to look at him his facial expression is reserved.

You swallow deeply before giving him a nod. You'll try your best to even though at this point everything before you is unpredictable. You don't know what to expect behind the Bangtan clan's door. Especially Hoseok's. You can only hope that your life will not be in danger in any sort of way.

Ji-Woon pulls his hands away from you before giving you a firm nod. From there he goes to stand near Hyung-Won who doesn't even dare look your way. Hyun-Sik on the other hand does but it's for a short second as he looks away. Something akin to guilt mars his face and you hope it's real. You hope it is and that it's eating him up inside. All the respect you once held for your Masters is long gone. What fills you up now is disappointment and hate. As for Hyun-Woo, you ache and you wish they would give you a chance to say goodbye to him but you know they won't let you.

You look over to Sunmi and grab her hands just as the servants of the Bangtan clan that were brought with them begin to take everyone's luggage to load up in the limousine. You lick your lips as your heart begins to race.

"Tell Hyun-Woo that I'm sorry I had to leave this way." Your grip tightens as she nods. "That despite it all I will miss him and that I hope we can write to each other."

Sunmi nods again as she pulls her hands away to give you one last hug. You both squeeze each other to the point you nearly wheeze from the pressure but you don't care. You just want the comfort. To prevent yourself from falling into pieces.

"Y/N."

You ignore the voice as you hold Sunmi even tighter. There's silence surrounding you both. It's suffocating. Moreso than how tight the two of you hold each other. It continues on this way until you feel a hand on your shoulder.

"It's time to go, my love."

You nearly whimper and if it weren't because Sunmi pulled away first you would have continued to hold on to her.

You have to fight with yourself to prevent yourself from crying. Your nostrils flare as your throat tightens. Your body threatening to fall apart and cry on the floor. You feel the way Hoseok's hand tries to slip into yours but you jerk away from him before storming off into the hot afternoon air - not sparing a glance towards your former Masters' way. Everything feels so weird but you do your best to hold strong. When you near the limousine the door is opened for you by a servant. You don't think twice as you slip right in leaving everyone behind. It takes Hoseok and his brothers a few more minutes as Seokjin discusses something with Hyung-Won before they all depart and the Bangtan brothers follow in behind you.

The inside of the limousine is black and sleek just like the outside. The seating takes up the length of the car and you choose to sit close towards the front near the partition. You stare at the mini bar before you unseeing as Hoseok scoots in to sit by your side. Though you tense from the closeness you don't react when he grabs your hand to hold in his.

"It's going to take about five hours to get home so you're welcome to sleep."

You say nothing in response to Hoseok's words.

He raises his other hand to push your hair out of your face and you pray he doesn't lean in for a kiss. He doesn't though and it's with that does the limousine begin to move to take you to your new home. Your new hell.

It's silent for a while save for the little things here and there. Like Lords Jungkook and Seokjin pulling out handheld gaming devices to play with each other. At some point they switch out for their phones for entertainment before Seokjin leans into the mini bar for something to drink. He offers everyone something including you but you shake your head no.

At another point Seokjin engages in conversation with Hoseok who is absorbed in his phone. He still pays a moderate amount of attention to his brother so the oldest doesn't complain about it.

You hate how normal everything feels. Everyone around you is acting as if you're not an unwilling participant. As if they hadn't just ruined your life overnight. You wonder how the servants must feel knowing this because surely they aren't as deluded as Hoseok and his brothers are.

You look towards the back where you see another car trailing behind you. They must be in there probably talking about you. Wondering themselves how you managed to get into this mess.

You look back in front of you with a deep sigh and grit your teeth when you feel Hoseok squeeze your hand. His fingers are laced with yours and you have the strong urge to dig your nails into him. It would serve him right after all he's done to you. You twist your neck here and there and revel in the stretch as you loosen up your shoulders as well. You've been so tense sitting here next to him that it's leaving you feeling uncomfortable. He seems to sense this as he looks away from his phone to look at you.

"Do you want to lie down?"

You think about it for a moment. If you say no you'll end up falling asleep sitting up next to him and that alone brings discomfort to you. If you say yes he'll more than likely move out of the way for you. Without a second thought you nod.

He releases your hand to scoot closer to where Jungkook sits and pats the seating between you two. You take the chance to lie down but before anything he tells you to hold on a second and scoots back a little towards you. You look at him confused until you realize what he's doing when he pats his lap. You're sat frozen.

"Come on," he says. "You can lay your head on my lap."

You look between him and his lap and feel yourself grow tense. Your eyes draw over to the other two vampires and note that neither of them are paying attention to you or at least it seems like they aren't. Jungkook too into his phone and Seokjin with his drink in hand while looking out the window. You worry your lip between your teeth and it's becoming apparent to Hoseok how hesitant you're growing.

The longer he waits for you the more you grow nervous because you don't want this. It feels too domestic. Though you've done so much more with him it isn't like you were truly yourself when it happened.

Hoseok purses his lips before sighing. He looks away from you to stare out the window and you think he's going to let it go until you feel a familiar feeling seeping through the nooks and crannies of your mind. It starts off small and it leaves you feeling relaxed. You're growing calm until more of it soothes over your head. What was this? Was he? Is he?

"Hoseok stop." Your voice is small.

He doesn't look at you only forcing more of himself into your mind. You realize then that he's controlling your mind and despite how much you want to fight against it you feel yourself growing more and more powerless against him.

"Rest your head on my lap," he speaks and without question you do as he says.

Just after you do can you feel him slowly recede from your brain. Leaving no trace of his presence whatsoever.

Tears come to rest on your lashes before a few escape you. You feel embarrassed. You feel used and how Seokjin and Jungkook didn't react to it is beyond you. Surely they must know Hoseok was controlling your mind. His words were compelling you to do something you were against and suddenly you give in? They must know but seemingly don't care.

You bite your lip to keep your sobs in. Hoseok notices and he lays his hand onto your head to scratch away at your scalp. You don't know how you're going to last being with him in his estate. You can't imagine your time will go well and it scares you. How can you deal with someone who can shape and mold you to do what he wants whenever he wants? All of it against your will. You tremble a little but it's not from the cool air running through the limousine but the vampire who holds you close to him right now.

You worry your head over it again and again until you fall into a stress induced nap. At least here in your sleep - in your dreams you are alone. Hoseok doesn't go poking and prodding into something he isn't invited to. You don't dream of him or of any of the vampires in your life. Instead you're out in a field of flowers. Their fragrance wafting through the air as they bloom. The sky is colored in hues of purple and orange as the sun peaks through the horizon giving you one last look before it hides. The Summer air is warm and you can hear the bugs chirping into the oncoming night. It's all you have. This is all you have. Solitude and happiness and it's all for you.

Nothing disturbs you nor your sleep for a while. After your dream it's a blur of nightmares. Many of them in relation to Hyun-Woo. You can hear him crying out for you but you can't find him. Everything is pitch black. Each time you think you draw closer to him he's pulled farther away. At some point you find a door and it leads you back out into that field from earlier, but you don't feel calm. You feel anxious. You call out to Hyun-Woo but nothing seems to calm him down. His cries shake you down to your core but you can't make him stop.

Your field of happiness becomes dreary as rain clouds pour over you and you shiver in its wake. You tremble and tremble and run to hide underneath a giant tree in the distance. You can't hear Hyun-Woo anymore over the pouring rain but you can still feel him somewhere out there aching to be heard. Aching for you.

You're huddled under the tree and find a spider web just near your head. You jump when you realize the spider is there staring at its prey that it managed to capture. You watch as it slowly descends and begins to weave a coffin for the bug that tries its hardest to escape. You wish you could save it but it's already too late. You don't know why you hesitated but you did and now the bug is trapped forever.

For some reason it makes you want to cry but you don't. Or maybe you do. You can't tell if the water on your face is from you or the rain droplets that managed to get in between the leaves of the tree you're hiding under. Either way, water drips down your face and it's accompanied by something crawling up your arm. When you look down you see a spider and it forces you to jump. So much so you're jolted awake. You gasp as you awaken and the hand that was softly caressing your arm comes to a stop. You follow the hand up to its owner and see Hoseok staring down at you.

Of course it was Hoseok. You fell asleep on him remember?

He smiles down at you before looking down at his phone.

"You slept for a while. We're almost home. Just a few minutes more."

You don't know how you managed to sleep the whole trip away but you know that you're thristy and a little bit hungry. You rub your stomach as it growls a little and hear as Hoseok chuckles.

"We'll eat once we're settled inside."

You refuse to answer him back now that you know you're a lot closer to his home. The reality of the situation has sunken in and knowing you're no longer where you should be it breaks your heart.

Hoseok is right though. It takes just a few more minutes until you reach the estate. It stands tall in the night air. Stone makes up the building as it does the roundabout driveway you pull up into. The one thing you're glad about is that you no longer have to sit in the limousine. Your body aches and needs to stretch out more than what inside of this car lets you do.

"It's good to be back home." Seokjin hums.

Neither of his brothers say something in response but you suspect that they feel the same way.

The door opens before you four as a servant makes way for you to exit out of the vehicle. The three vampires exit out and leave you behind as you hesitate a moment to come out.

Finally you're here and your nervousness is starting to show. You nibble your bottom lip as your breathing picks up a bit. You are before your new home. Gods you hate having to call this your home but it was the truth and you're expected to deal with it. The urge to cry is nonexistent. After having done so much of it already you feel dried up but that didn't mean you weren't feeling emotional.

Hoseok peeks his head in to the limousine when he realizes you haven't come out yet.

"Everything alright, my love?"

No you want to say out loud. Everything is far from okay, but you can't bring yourself to speak. You give the outside one more once over from inside the car before sighing and making your way out of the vehicle.

Hoseok smiles at you and stretches out his hand for you to take. You take it without question to avoid any problems. You're officially in survival mode and want to avoid any issues that may come your way. You were no longer a resident of the Baek's but Bangtan. You were utterly alone and now was the time to fend for yourself and to play nice when needed.

His fingers lace with yours as he tightens his hold on you.

"Welcome home."

You don't know who says it as your mind is captivated by your surroundings. Flowers along with little lights light up the walk way. The grass on either side is perfectly trimmed. It all leads up to three small stairs and then a platform where the door to the estate awaits you. Though the building is made up of dark gray stone the flowers around you prevent it all from looking so dull. The majority being a shade of purple. Much like the lilacs that sit close on either side of the platform that leads straight to the door.

You huff because you don't want to be in awe of your surroundings. You're still upset about everything that lead up to this. Heartbroken mostly. What you see before you is not a home but a prison. No matter how pretty it looks it is what it is.

"Come on. Let's get you settled in and then we can eat." Hoseok interlocks your fingers as he says this so you can't pull away. "There's much more for you to see but we can deal with that tomorrow after you're well rested."

You follow next to him as one of the servants goes to unlock the door. When it opens you get to see what's inside and it's just as beautiful as the outside. One of the first things you notice are the wide stairs a little ways ahead. They open up wider as they reach the top and the banisters and balusters are designed to look like vines are making their way up and around them. The carpet that runs over them is a dark shade of purple and you note that the curtains to the high windows are too. A chandelier hangs above you and it emits a heavenly glow as you all step into the home and if it weren't because of your situation you would admire it all.

Once you're all inside Jungkook sprints up the steps in a hurry. Seokjin chuckles at the sight of him taking the stairs two at a time before stretching.

"He's happy to be home."

You didn't ask the Lord why Jungkook did what he did and so you ignore his answer. He seems to notice you're cold shoulder and so he chuckles again.

"You'll learn to love it here, dear Y/N. I promise you that."

Hoseok turns to you and smiles at his brother's words. "He's right. You won't need for anything. You'll have it all."

You purse your lips as you look around. You'll have to get used to this layout when it comes time for you to work. You wonder if someone will show you the ropes or if you'll be left to fend for yourself. Looking back at Hoseok you question him when you'll start working.

He gives you an incredulous look before a small smile breaks across his face. "My love you won't be working."

You frown. "I don't understand."

He fully faces you and grabs your other hand in his. "I didn't bring you here to work. I brought you here as my lover who will sit by me. You don't have to worry about working ever again."

Your lips part in small disbelief. He sounded just like Hyun-Woo except you weren't back home but in an unfamiliar setting.

"I don't want people waiting on me." You frown.

He mimics your frown with one of his own before speaking. "I know it'll feel weird at first. You've been working your whole life but not anymore." He smiles.

You want to fight back but you're still in survival mode. You don't want to not work and you don't want to be here period, but you have to play nice if you want to survive. So you give a barely there nod. Your facial reaction one of defeat. He doesn't seem to care though as he goes to lean in to kiss you on the forehead. When he pulls back he looks at your lips.

"How are you feeling?" His words are whispered. "Do you need another fix?"

You almost forgot the reason why you're here. That damned kiss of his and his saliva.

You hum in response. "I'm okay."

"For now at least. We can do something about it later then when we're more relaxed."

You don't say anything. When the two of you are more relaxed? You wish it was not at all and never again.

His fingers soothe over your skin but before he can say or do anything else a voice rings out around you.

"Well look at who we have here."

Hoseok and you turn to the owner of the voice. He's stood at the very top of the stairs and stares down at you with mischief in his eyes. If you thought the three members of Bangtan you've been acquainted with were handsome then the one before you now is even moreso. Like an angel staring down from the heavens he smirks when he catches your eye. His blonde hair is slicked back and he wears a pair of black slacks with an opened silk robe. It reveals the skin that makes up his torso and he shows no shame when it slips down his shoulder by the slightest bit to reveal more of himself.

"Jimin." Hoseok says in greeting.

The vampire named Jimin gives a toothy grin. "I missed having you around, brother." He starts to make his way down the stairs.

"And no hello for me?" Seokjin scoffs though you can tell he's being playful. He says this as he begins to walk away.

"It's always good to see you too." Jimin's smile continues to grow. "I already ran into Jungkook but you," he points to you. "You're new."

Hoseok's grip on your hands tighten. "Jimin," he warns.

Jimin's hands go up in mock surrender. "I'm just curious is all." He comes to stop near you where he stretches out his hand to you in welcome. "If it hasn't already become apparent - I'm Jimin. You are?"

You would shake his hand but Hoseok's grip is strong. He doesn't give you any leeway and so you settle with just your mouth as you speak.

"Y/N," you say.

His eyes brighten up at the sound of your voice. "Pretty name for a pretty girl."

"Watch it."

Jimin's brow perks up in Hoseok's direction. "Someone's a little possessive."

Hoseok huffs in irritation. "Don't you have one of your little playthings to get back to?"

The angelic vampire sighs though it's exaggerated. "I had to return her before anyone noticed her missing. So poor me is feeling a little lonely tonight."

"Not my problem." Hoseok releases your one hand to hold the other and pulls you away from Jimin. "Going to go and get settled in. You do whatever it is you want."

"If you say so, big brother." He chuckles. "I'll see you later, pretty girl."

You wince as Hoseok's grip tightens again but say nothing of it. You wonder what you got yourself into. Now that you're here, reality is settling in and you truly realize your previous life is over and all you have left are new ones where problems are already beginning to arise.

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

FIC MASTERPOST!!

Hi, I'm Basil, I write fanfics sometimes. Some of them are fun and funky AUs, so feel free to send asks about them! I'll elaborate on anything, even if it's a oneshot from forever ago. There's bound to be something from it rattling around in my brain that wasn't fully discussed in the fic!

Here's my AO3

My writing tag on tumblr (I can't guarantee you'll find everything you're looking for on here, and I absolutely can't guarantee you won't find posts that are just. Links to AO3. So honestly it's best to go to AO3)

How to Request/Commission a Fic from me

Be Warned: I do write crossover fics. They have their own dedicated section on here :) Additionally, some stuff that's currently on my AO3 will not be linked here- anything before 2021 is a no go. You're free to read it, though! It's just for fandoms that I'm unlikely to write for again, so I'm not going to bait people like that by putting it on the list. Also, I was an infant when I wrote those fics.

Other than that, the list is below the cut!

CHALLENGE FICS, MISCELLANEOUS WORKS, AND ONESHOTS

Okay, right off the bat, there's no way I can individually link and describe all of my oneshots. There's too many. Here's what I can do:

Link all of my fics that came from tumblr asks

Link all of my BTHB fics (I do have a second card that I'll bring back eventually for prompts from tumblr)

Link all of my Afohiko (All for One x Gran Torino) fics, which is mostly oneshots

Link my Whumptober 2023 fics, which are all oneshots. No, not all of them have been posted yet, but IT'S GONNA HAPPEN

Link my Febuwhump 2024 fics, which are MOSTLY oneshots. No, not all of these have been posted yet, either, but they WILL

Link my Tim Stoker is Entity Catnip series, which are all fics where Tim gets picked up by different Entities. Mostly oneshots

There are more oneshots that are not in any of these series-es! This is because I'm insane! They'll be found in their respective fandom categories.

MY HERO ACADEMIA

MHA is my most written-for fandom. If you're exclusively in one of the other fandoms on this list, I apologize for the scroll in advance. This section is in alphabetical order, by the way.

Incomplete Fics

the gremlin zone - Your garden-variety group chat themed crack fic. It's centered around the Todoroki siblings, and also I'm halfway convinced that it's sentient. The plot goes without my consent. Don't ask what's going to happen in its future because I know just as much as you do

how to live with yourself - Fuyumi killed a guy when she was 13. That's it, that's the premise, except for the fact that it's slowly revealed that there may be more to this AU than just that. Some people have their secrets, and it's only a matter of time before they all come out one way or another.

in love i've always been a mercenary - Shimura Nana harbors a fugitive who's trying to go legit, except for the fact that the fugitive is All for One's ex-husband and there are some details that just don't add up quite right.

One Loop at a Time - Your garden-variety time loop themed crack fic. This one has slow updates; I have this awful habit of writing one chapter of a thing and taking forever to continue it, and this fic is a victim of that AND its chapters are long as hell. If you're willing to deal with that, it's a time loop where each member of 1-A (and possibly more!) is slowly brought into the loop, and they slowly go from "normal 1-A" to "crack 1-A" as the loop keeps. On. Going.

Sins of the Father - Midoriya Izuku is the son of All for One. This means that he's All for One's most prized possession, in addition to his own personal attack dog. There's no hope of escape, and even if there were, would he even deserve to take that opportunity?

some heroes wear masks (some of those masks are stolen) - Midoriya Izuku is quirkless, jobless, and completely down on his luck. Mom's bills are only getting higher, while Dad's contributions and her paychecks are only getting smaller. There's an offer for anyone available, a huge payout for whoever takes it, except that it comes with the territory of being a villain. Izuku needs that payout, but he can clear his conscience while he's at it.

We all fall apart - Touya and Fuyumi were both trained by Endeavor to be heroes. Both of them are dead. Natsuo desperately wants to protect Shouto, Shouto just wants him to live a life for himself, and neither of them are okay. The Todoroki family is a wreck, and to top it all off, there's no way in hell that Dabi is anything human.

Incomplete Series

Everyone's a Hero (1-A Fics) - Okay, this one's full of fics that are disconnected from each other. They're all different AUs. The one thing they have in common is that each and every one of them focuses on a member of Class 1-A, even the ones that don't get much characterization or screentime. They all get a fic. As of right now, it only contains one fic, but more will be added soon!

The Phantom of Shinomori Prefecture - Fuyumi is the Baby Driver of this AU. She's also in contact with Dabi. Endeavor has a ton of fancy cars that he doesn't drive, Rei's a Russian immigrant, and Touya and Fuyumi both drive like maniacs.

the todofam-plus-izuku's adventures in vigilantism - Izuku decides to be a vigilante. Natsuo is an established vigilante. There will be more of them.

Complete Fics

All the eggshells are on the ground - Oneshot. Villain Gran Torino and Hero Shimura Nana. They're... kind of a thing? She can fix him

And so the gods were pulled down from the Heavens / And so the gods were pulled up from the Earth - Oneshot. Something about old gods?? I don't remember tbh I wrote this a long time ago. Funky narration tho

Blackjack - Oneshot. Touya knows how to count cards. He still remembers it years later, when he goes by Dabi instead.

The Inconstant Nature of Hatred (it's a spark, it's a flame, it's a dying ember but it's not gone yet) - Oneshot. Dabi character study, also from a long time ago. He thinks on his situation, just before he gets the call to join the League.

Sharpened Teeth (Won't Be Broken) - Oneshot. Toga Himiko meets a responsible healthcare provider who follows child protection protocols!! Amazing!!

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

TMA is my second-most written for fandom, and before you ask, no I have not listened to Protocol yet. You will know when I do, trust me. Again, this section is in alphabetical order.

Incomplete Fics

fireworks (and their ashes) - Tim is a Desolation Avatar, and post-Unknowing, he Becomes and then he abandons the Archives/Institute. Jon wakes up from his coma and everything kind of goes to shit? It gets better. Mostly.

Jonathan Sims Is Dead In The End - So you know how "The Archivist goes back to their S1 body and does time travel fix-it from there" is a whole genre of TMA fics at this point? Yeah. This is that. Except the Archivist isn't Jon, and the original timeline is nothing like our original timeline. Also, the ending isn't all that happy, in case the title didn't clue you in already.

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat - Your garden-variety group chat themed crack fic. Archival assistants start a group chat, uncover a conspiracy, and act terminally stupid, not necessarily in this order. This is another fic that I'm half-convinced is somewhat sentient. I don't have any input on this plot

Watchers - Tim Stoker is an unwilling agent of Beholding. This is set before the Unknowing, so a big learning curve is happening for both himself and Jon. Also, I'm still taking bets on what the endgame ship is going to be, because I know myself well enough to know there will be a ship but I have no idea who's going to be involved in it.

Complete Fics

Elias Bouchard: Post-Mortem - Twoshot. Jonah Magnus decides to possess some loser Elias Bouchard, except "some loser" Elias apparently had some secrets that even Jonah isn't in on.

Goodbye, from a Human Monster to an Inhuman Beast - Oneshot. Annabelle Cane waits for the apocalypse.

TMA/MHA CROSSOVERS

Yes, this specific fandom crossover has its own section. I'm terminally insane.

Incomplete Fics

Closed Doors - Todoroki Rei is a Lukas on her father's side. This has had a marked effect on the Todoroki family. Additionally, some other suspicious things are afoot, and Japan is becoming more dangerous by the day. Nobody is safe from the games being played by those in the shadows.

The Series (!!)

These Statements Certainly Have Their Quirks (Main Series) - The Series. When I refer to "my crossover verse," this is what I'm talking about. Jonathan Sims thinks that something's going down in Japan, so he takes Statements from prominent individuals who may be involved.

TMA/BNHA crossover brainrot <3 - The exact same as the above, but this series also contains bonus content and AUs directly branching off of the above AU. Hence, it's marked as incomplete, so that I can keep writing bonus Statements and things even though the main series is complete :)

Complete Fics

Red Spatter - Oneshot. Statement of Todoroki Touya, regarding his younger sister. Blood/violence warning

Replacement (The Grape Needs to Go) - Oneshot. Mineta is replaced by Shinsou. I mean this very literally.

Shadow's Call - Oneshot. Statement of Uraraka Ochako, regarding recent power outages at her high school.

MISCELLANEOUS OTHER CROSSOVERS

Still terminally insane. There will be more in this section! I have a MHA/Tokyo Ghoul crossover in the works! It's going to be actually started when I don't have so many WIPs but there will be more!!

Complete Fics

hell isn't hot (not when the cold is so much worse) - Oneshot. Goncharov/TMA crossover, written in- you guessed it- November of 2022. Fun fact this is my only fic that has a podfic as of right now

I've got you / Under my skin - Oneshot. Unwind Dystology/TMA crossover, written mostly because I could. Hayden Upchurch is an Avatar of the Web, and if you know who that guy is, you understand a very particular kind of mental illness that this series inflicted upon me when I was a child.

Complete Series

Buzzfeed Unsolved/Markiplier Cinematic Universe (MCU) - Series. Buzzfeed Unsolved investigates Markiplier Manor from WKM. Just barely scrapes past the "nothing from before 2021" rule by virtue of procrastinating the last chapter until 2022. It's cute and silly and very 2019. The idea of doing more fake Unsolved episodes for fandom things is still kind of silly to me :) A little tempting :) (i am not implying anything directly but if you come to my askbox then maybe)

[lotus-flowerz]

Bennett X Reader

TW!!! SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SELF HARM MENTIONS

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND STAY

SAFE <3

slight spoilers for bennett's vision story

Bennett comforts you after a suicide attempt

a/n- sorry for the lack of posts again, i've been hella busy with school, and also my mental health isn't great

also this is heavily self indulgent bc dont we love suicidal thoughts

You had just been released from Barbara's care in the cathedral earlier. The anger you felt at yourself was unmatched. How had you failed?? Who even found you??

You sat underneath the Windrise tree, pulling apart grass. Scars littered your arms and you didn't fully feel better from your overdose. You honestly didn't even wanna be alive, but alas, here you were. So, you had traveled to the one spot that comforted you.

You were still deep in thought, contemplating trying again, when you heard leaves crunch under someone's footsteps.

"Who's there?" you snapped, your voice hoarse and almost gone from crying and puking up all the pills you had taken. You drew your weapon, ready to strike, when a familiar blonde boy came up behind you.

"Y/n.." he breathed, not sure of what to say.

"Bennett."

You remember now- he was the one who had found you, and carried you to the cathedral, screaming for help at the top of his lungs. That was a week ago- and since you hadn't been allowed visitors, this was your first time seeing each other since then.

Bennett rushed over and threw his arms around you, squeezing you as hard as he could.

You felt tears rush forward, threatening to spill. Bennett pulled away from the hug and put his hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes.

"Never do that again.. please. Archons- I cannot lose you."

"I'm sorry." you whispered, choking back tears.

"Hey- don't cry! It's alright, I'm here now." he pulled you back into a hug.

"I was going to try again." you whispered.

You felt his grip tighten on you.

"No.. please, Archons, please don't," he pulled away from the hug to wipe your tears away, "Can I tell you a story please?"

You nodded, and he pulled you onto his lap to lay on him. He softly stroked your hair as he began to tell you the story of how he obtained his vision.

"...And I guess I lost consciousness at some point. I knew that I probably wasn't going to make it. I realized as I passed out, that I wanted to live, desperately. But as my eyesight went dark, I knew that was wishful thinking. I had already lost a ton of blood, and I was far from home. But, I woke up. And I woke up holding my vision. And as I gathered my thoughts, I realized something. My vision was glowing in time with my pulse, which signaled that I had survived. My clothes were bloodstained, and the large gash that I had obtained had somehow closed up and left a large scar, but I was alive."

"So you got your vision because of your determination to live?"

"Yeah! And I'll be honest, before that, I genuinely wanted to die. My bad luck was too much and it felt like the world was against me. But as I felt myself dying, I realized that that wasn't what I wanted at all."

"I'm glad you lived." you whispered.

"Me too. And I'm glad you lived as well."

You were silent. Bennett sighed when he realized you weren't fully convinced.

"Right now, you're surviving. One day, you will be living. Can I see your wrist for a second?"

You held it out to him, and you felt his fingers press down in the middle.

"Can you feel that? You're alive. You may be tired, and you may not want to be alive, but your very own pulse is a reminder that you were put here for a reason. You have a purpose, Y/n. You can't die yet because there's so much you haven't done yet."

He released your wrist and instead of lowering it you grabbed his wrist as well.

"Yeah, I'm alive too. Isn't it wonderful? Because I survived my accident and because you survived your attempt to take your life, we're sitting under a tree watching the sunset together. Because we lived. And we will continue to live. And one day, when we're old and our actual time comes, we will be grateful that we survived."

A few tears escaped your eyes again as you realized that he was right. You felt him scoop you up and bring you closer to him. He held you tightly as if you would disappear on him. He wiped more of your tears away and kissed your forehead.

You could hear his heartbeat as he held you tightly. He really was alive. You reached up and cupped his cheek, bringing his face in to kiss him. He kissed you back softly, tears collecting in his own eyes.

"I will continue to live, Bennett. My pulse and your pulse will be my reminder. I am alive, and I deserve to live. Although it may take me time to believe it, someday I will truly live, and not just survive."

He rested his forehead against yours, letting a tear escape from his eye.

"And I will be there with you, every step of the way."

[dindooku]

right i know i said i would make this mega juicy but the sad boi hours hit and... well. just read it.

i’m sorry.

You thought you wanted to escape.

You thought you wanted to be free.

You thought you wanted to be alone.

Tradegy only strikes when the mind and soul are in disilusionment; when the body is so preoccupied chasing its lust that it refuses to listen to its reason.

Blind.

rating: Mature/Explicit (had descriptions of blood and violence etc and depressive/dark thoughts)

- please be warned this chapter is sad af, so if you can’t/do not want to read about sad boi hours please do not read

word count: 4,940

————————

You didn't bother sleeping that night, your mind was too busy thinking of ways to escape the Mandalorian.

You were nothing but cheated, it felt like. And upon further contemplation, you'd practically convinced yourself that you didn't mean anything to him and that he'd just played you as everyone else had. There were no feelings, no personal sentiments, no attachment between him and you; and it hurt. He'd gotten what he wanted, and would continue to control and manipulate you behind your back, clutching your sense of freedom and chaining you to the cold confines of the Razor Crest.

You didn't want to believe this, though. You wanted more than anything for your mind to be playing tricks on you, and for your feelings, your true hidden feelings to be true. You wanted him to want you, to trust you. you wanted to work as a team, a power-couple you could say. But the fact of the matter at hand is that Mando had no interest in you helping him, working or even having any sort of independence at all.  

You felt so confused.

On one hand, you wanted to stay, to give in and just be the stay at home babysitter Mando wanted you to be. But on the other hand, you wanted to finally be free, to do what you want and just go wild. Gideon had awoken something deep, something dark within you and you knew it'd only be a matter of time before you couldn't contain it anymore. You had to get out and release some energy - you wanted to on Nevarro but Din had stopped you, and you wanted to the other day when he left for his bounty, but yet again Mando demanded you stay on the ship.

It was suffocating.

Your choice was clear. You only really had one option, run. Run as far and as fast as you can. he was one of the best trackers in the galaxy, but you were a vicious machine bred and trained, ruthless and aggressive. You would do anything to taste the sweet buzz of adrenaline again, to feel truly alive once more. You were addicted to it, the smell of violence tugged at your heart, and the sadistic bite of pain made your insides twist and turn in with-drawl. You really couldn't control it any longer. The sweet temptations of the galaxy before you we're all-encompassing.

Back to the plan. It was night, the ship was sunken into the blanket of night. You checked the wall clock, 02:19AM. Perfect; Din would be asleep around now and locked away in his cabin with the Kid - that meant no distractions. You quietly slid out of the bed, silently slipping on your trousers, tunic and everything else you'd need - both your thigh knife holsters and the chest cueress. you slid on the poncho Mando had let you borrow to keep warm and slowly left the cabin.

And you were practically on autopilot. You made no sound as you edged around the hull - ensuring you missed furniture and loose bits of metal as you had memorised the ship in the little time you'd spent on it. You found yourself stood just outside of Din's cabin, right next to the weapons cabinet. You had one shot at this, and you prayed to the maker above that he was in a deep enough sleep to not wake up to the sound of you ransacking his weapons stash. As quietly as you could, you tapped the code into the keypad to the right and the doors swung open, you caught them before they made the classic tap against the wall of the ship.

You didn't have much time, hurry.

You eyed the contents and quickly grabbed the two Karambit knives Mando had gifted you, along with the bag and belt of throwing knives, and two combat Beskar knives too. You *borrowed* a couple of charges as well as a blaster, which you hastily tucked into the back of your pants. You eyed the cupboard for something to holster it in, and you found yourself lucky as you grabbed a secondary thigh holster. You're pretty sure it was one of Mando's shin holsters he used for the Vibro-blade that sat tucked in his boot, but it'd hold the blaster for now and it was small enough to wrap the upper part of your thigh. Perfect. You needed credits too - you hated having to steal from Din, but if you had any chance of getting off if this rock without him, you had to do what was necessary; so you took the bag of credits sat comfy in the corner of the cupboard and emptied a few into your hands. You took what you needed and placed the credits into the pouch with the throwing knives.

With as much caution as before, you closed the doors to the cupboard, to then hastily make your way to the kitchen. You grabbed what you could that was at hand, a few protein bars, an empty flask and a dried packet of fruit. You didn't fill up the flask as you knew the sound of running water would wake Din up - you could find somewhere on the way. He'd left a shoulder satchel in the corner of the room and you swung it over your shoulder, placing more food and other bits into it as stealthily as you could.

You'd got everything you needed, now came the hard part. You crept out of the kitchen and into the main hull, quietly stepping until you were face to face with the ramp. You knew this would wake him up, but you were betting on the fact that he was either in really, really deep sleep or he would be too slow getting up and out to catch the direction you'd be leaving. That was another thing.

Where would you go?

You thought back to your survival training and countless hours spent tracking, stalking targets. You could do this, you were more than qualified. trust in yourself.

You took a deep breath before punching the code into the keypad for the ramp. the loud whir of electric motors grinding into life reverberated through the hull, and you didn't miss the distinctive clash and thud of Din falling out of his bed and trying his best to put his armour on.

But he was too slow.

By the time he'd gotten into the cockpit and aimed his blaster, you were gone.

---

You ran like your life depended on it - well, it pretty much did because you knew if Din caught up to you you were practically dead anyway. The man had pretty good taps on his temper but you were sure that he would just about lose his shit if he got hold of you. And that adrenaline, that fantastic sick rush is what fuelled you to run, and run, and run.

Luckily you had been quick enough to leave the ship, and Din didn't manage to get a grip on which direction you'd left - but you knew he had some sort of tracking gadget in that metal lid of his so you would have to be smart. Find somewhere busy and mix up the tracks, maybe even switch out your footwear or - wait, you could carve a new tread into the soles of your boots; perfect. But not now, because if he was tracking you he'd instantly notice the change - you needed commotion to confuse and render his tracking software useless.

You'd been running for around an hour now - more than your body would normally be able to cope with at this tempo, but you couldn't rest, you had to find a way off of this planet. You took a second to take in your surroundings. The heavy bushland had initially thickened into a desolate forest, but after some time you found the tree density to be thinning out, and after another half hour of running you found yourself at the back entrance to some sort of settlement or town.

You took a second to compose yourself, it was still incredibly early in the morning, but you didn't have time to wait.

You strode into the town, and it became apparent quite quickly that luck was on your side. As you peered around the corner the lights of a shipyard lit up in the far distance of the settlement. It wasn't anything big, but it was enough - a couple of ships lay dormant in the 5 or 6 bays at the far end of town.

You'd never stolen a ship before.

Trying not to act suspicious in case anyone was watching, you walked down through the main street of the town. The grass and moss had all but withered away into a solid dirt track, and the huts made of wood from the forest trees littered the surrounding landscape. It was quiet but serene, and you definitely felt a pang of guilt knowing that you were not the type of person that would be welcome here, you'd only cause trouble; and by the looks of things, they didn't get much trouble around here. Eventually, you found yourself at the entry of the shipyard and you let your eyes roll over the selection of docked ships. Instantly you knew two of the prospective six were off-limits as their owners sat outside, slumped over in their chairs next to each other - and by the looks of the empty bottles of alcohol, they were out for good. This was ideal, things couldn't be better. As you scanned the area, you noticed the ship you'd be taking.

It was an odd shape, but for some reason or another, you couldn't help but feel like you'd seen it before. It was definitely familiar, but from where you wouldn't know. It had a long snout of sorts and was sharp and precise in its craftsmanship. On either side, long triangles perched high, like ears. It was definitely unique, but it was in tidy condition and would do for what you needed.

Taking another look around, you quietly made your way over. To your astonishment, the ship was left unlocked. Surely a ship of this condition wouldn't be left in such a state of complete in-security? Either way, finders keepers.

You pressed the button to open the ramp and quickly made your way inside as it closed behind you. You hurried into the cockpit, instantly recognising the universal controls and powering the ship on. You clicked the holo-map and found the quickest path out of the atmosphere into space, you could worry about where to go later, you just needed to get off the ground. Flipping the switch for the thrusters, you felt the blazing roar of engines vibrate the cockpit and before you could think twice about what you were doing, you'd pulled the control arm back and were lifting into the sky. Turning the ship in a 180 away from the direction of the Razor Crest, you edged your way out from the dock and into the pre-planned flight path you'd programmed just moments before.

And just like that, you were gone. ---

Din awoke to the sound of the Razor Crest ramp opening, and before he could even register what he was doing, he was clumsily stumbling out of his bed and onto the hard dura-steel floor. The Kid awoke with a startled cry, and the bashing and clanking of Beskar being hurriedly worn didn't help matters - he could sense something was wrong. But Din wasn't fast enough, as when the door to his cabin opening and he strode out, blaster pointed and finger itching on the trigger, the hull was empty.

Odd, there's no one here, why - wait.

Din ran over to your cabin but knew better than to barge in. Instead, he hastily rapped his knuckles against the door.

"Hey! Wake up, did you open the ramp, are you ok?" Nothing. Dead silence. He tried again, this time knocking harder and with a bit more haste. "HEY! GET UP," and again, there was no response. Something wasn't right. He knew that breaking into your room was a complete breach of your privacy, but he'd rather deal with the consequences of your wrath than find you hurt, or worse. He shot the blaster into the keypad of the door and it flew open, but what he found was not what he expected. He expected you to either be asleep or to even be mid-fight with an intruder. Not for you to not be there.

This was worse, so much worse.

He turned and punched the side of the wall, groaning out in both parts pain from the impact of his knuckles against the dura-steel, and part from the rage and frustration at the realisation that this was his fault.

You'd left him.

The only person he could ever confide in, to let his guard down and allow himself to have some sort of pleasure in life; the only person he trusted, and you were gone. He didn't have time for this though, he had to find you, apologise, just do something. He couldn't let you just walk away from this, you'd been through too much together, and if you weren't there with him, he couldn't protect you. He'd nearly lost you once, he couldn't do it again.

He all but ran to the weapons locker, grabbing his pulse rifle and a few charges, the usual load-out he would take when tracking a bounty - and that's what he supposed this was, it was his job to track people, its all he'd ever done. Yet he still felt as nervous as his first time - what if he didn't find you?

And then the question of *why* burned its way to the front of his mind. What had he done to push you away like this?  Yes, you'd shared a few intimate moments, but he was under the impression that, well, you enjoyed it just as much as he did... what had he done so wrong to make you want to leave, without even saying goodbye? He understood you were frustrated with him for stopping you from coming with him, but he only wanted what was best for both you and the Kid - taking you both with him was just not on the cards, even on a safe planet like this. You were more than capable of holding your own, that was made evident by the way you handled the Bounty that he'd brought back not a few hours ago. It was incredible, the way you moved so effortlessly but with clear, unhinged violence; it was beautiful, *you* were beautiful - yet he hated the ironic bond you shared with aggression and beauty - it was like you couldn't have one without the other, that your DNA was composed of the complicated connection both traits possessed and any attempt to strip or mutate your makeup would ruin you. Deep down he wished you weren't as skilled as you were because then he would have a reason other than his own selfishness to tell you to stay behind. But, he didn't... you were made to fight like he was, and he was being the biggest damn hypocrite by denying your basic rights to freedom.

He had to put these feelings aside. Focus on the task at hand - finding you and making sure you were safe. He would turn this galaxy upside down, wreak undying havoc among those that stopped him from getting to you.

He had to hunt like his life depended on it.

---

You had safely made it out of the upper atmosphere and were now sat comfortably in the vacuum of space. Your fingers trailed the star map in front of you - desperate to find somewhere to bunker low, maybe even take on some underground work and earn a few extra credits, just enough to tide you over so you can resupply and form a contingency plan.

Yavin...nope, Hoth...nope, Mustafar, definitely not...Tatooine...

Tatooine.

Perfect.

You'd heard of the secluded little dust planet on the outer rim, and it was notorious for its harbouring of the Hutts and criminals alike. That's exactly what you were looking for, you'd fit right in; plus you knew it'd be easy to get work, maybe even an underground bounty or two?

You punched in the flight plan and took a swig of water from the flask you'd just recently filled up. you had struck gold with this ship - it was full of food and medical supplies, and even had an impressive cabinet of weapons too. it was exactly what you needed. So, without hesitation, you were off.

_____

You honestly thought he'd have found you by now, but you mused the growing fear that maybe you were right.

He didn't care about you.

It had been eight months now and Din still hadn't shown his face.

Your time on Tatooine had been one you hadn't expected. You initially fled to the sandbox to get away from Din and abuse the freedom you thought you had earned, but the gimmick soon wore thin and now you were living like a hermit in the middle of the desert. You'd tried to save face after a particularly violent cantina shootout which was incidentally but unsurprisingly your fault, and so you fled the small town of Mos Espa. You trawled the desert for a few days until you came across a nice little secluded cave. Upon further inspection it seemed to be abandoned, the telltale traces of a previous life from long ago littered the inside. Dusty blankets and old kitchenware were tidily packed away as if the previous owner knew they wouldn't return, but they left things in such an order in which anyone would still be welcome in their domain. And so you took solitude in this little hiding spot of yours, bringing the ship back for safekeeping by parking it just next to the entrance of the cave.

The supplies on the ship had lasted you a while, three weeks if you rationed sensibly - but you knew you couldn't keep it up for long so get yourself busy with renovating the place. You came across the skeletal remnants of a water catcher and after a couple of days of tinkering, you got the old bit of kit running. That was your water sorted, now just food.

Whilst you had enough credits to last you a while, you reasoned on finding a somewhat stable source of income that would allow you to buy essentials, bits and pieces and any materials you may need to keep the water catcher running. So, at the start of your second week in your new humble abode, you set out for Mos Espa, and after a few drop-ins and questionable interview tactics, you'd managed to grab yourself a job as a barmaid.

It didn't pay particularly well, but it was just enough to get by and put food on the table. Life was simple.

Sweet.

Innocent.

Something you never thought you would be entitled to, something you knew you didn't deserve the privilege of experiencing. You had done enough damage in your lifetime to warrant another full of debt - and yet you found yourself on your back, counting the stars in a constellation you hadn't seen before, the cold touch of night soothing the phantom pain of singularity - the regret of your choice to be alone.

Because as much as you loved this new quiet life you had manufactured, it was nothing worth substance if you were not to share it with anyone.

You craved the intimate connection forged between two souls - that of which you would read about in mythical books of old, or listen upon as wise words were spoken in hindsight around the dying light of a fire. The indescribable feeling of love, companionship, trust.

It was something you had never felt in completion, and the slightest taste had you craving more to the point of insanity.

You thought you wanted to escape.

You thought you wanted to be free.

You thought you wanted to be alone.

Tragedy only strikes when the mind and soul are in disillusionment; when the body is so preoccupied chasing its lust that it refuses to listen to its reason.

Blind.

But you supposed that it all made sense now. The false pretences you had stumbled across, this home you had forged out of desperation for freedom.

Home isn't the place, the bricks or windows or doors.

Home is where the heart is, and your heart resided in the lost arms of Beskar.

_____

"Hey, Grogu?" Din asked from the pilot's seat. The little green gremlin's head shot up out of recognition, his toothy grin and litte 'eh?' spurring the hidden grin igniting on Din's face.

"You think she's ok, out there?" He asked.

"Patoo?" Grogu grunted.

Din chuckled, turning back to face the viewport before replying, "Y'know, wherever she is. Do you think she is doing alright?" He mused, head resting back against the seat. His search to find any Jedi willing to train Grogu had coming up short. Ahsoka had sent him to the seeing stone; she said Grogu would make his decision. His decision was to stay with the Mandalorian. Din was torn by this, he wanted Grogu to learn the way of his people, to become the incredible Jedi he knew he could be - whatever a Jedi truly was anyway; but he also needed Grogu more than many would realise. Din didn't let it on, but the day you left, he had never been the same. He had Grogu, yes, but that was different.

Grogu gave him something to focus on, something to care and nurture, to keep him grounded whenever he found himself wanting to just fly away from the mess he called a life.

But you gave him something to live for. He'd never mourned the loss of presence, of physical contact. He practically lived by a code that repressed said urges; a code that denied any humility. And yet for the last eight months, all he had done was grieve the loss of your lost promises, his own wishes for comfort.

People deal with loss in different ways, but like you, Din found himself being irresponsible. Hed made stupid mistakes. Hed done things he would never be able to seek forgiveness from for simply speaking the words would surely cast him as nothing but wild. Hed committed sins he knew earned him a first-class seat to the fiery pits of beyond, but the pain of your absence was torturous enough as it was, and he'd rather pay his debt with interest than feel the consequences of your disappearance any longer than he needed to. So after the few wreckless weeks of pure unbridled rage, and after a stern intervention from Cara and Carga, he finally managed to see somewhat straight.

He would find you, he had to. He would hunt you down like prey as his life depended on it.

Because it did.

He was truly alone.

The silence had never been so loud.

The nightmares had never been so violent.

______

You'd never seen the place so busy.

It was your lucky night it seemed, as you handed one of your friendly regulars their eighth drink. The cantina was flourishing, overflowing to the point where your boss Roscoe had to open up the back to allow for the partons to use the backyard as a makeshift drinks garden. It was the height of Tattoine summer and the suns were setting later and later into the night with each day that passed. It wasn't just the high suns and glorious weather that attracted your customers though, it was the now tactfully reduced amount of clothing you were wearing,

See, it was tactical for two reasons.

A - it was extremely hot and wearing any layers more than what was necessary was a form of self-punishment - so your ripped dregs for clothing would have to do. B - the fewer clothes you wore, the more tips you made.

At first, it felt wrong to scala van your body in this way, but you really needed the credits if you were to have any chance of leaving this dustbowl. You were tired of waiting for someone who is not coming back. So, anywhere better than here would do.

A loud whistle sounded from the other side of the bar. Rolling your eyes internally you reminded yourself that your shift ended in half an hour and you could be out of here and back in your bed within the hour. You turned, strolling over to the greasy bounty hunter who had called you over, your exposed hips swaying with more swagger than you actually possessed.

"Yes Honey?" You said in the fake charm you wore in the bar.

"Sweetheart, would you mind passing me a glass of your strongest?" The man winked as he spoke, the yellow and black spots of his lack of dental hygiene making you internally cringe. But you needed the credits and you didn't fancy another bar fight.

"Sure Honey, one half of our strongest is coming right up," you mused, seductively winking as you reached up the bar and grabbed the watered-down bottle of Correllian whiskey.

"Here'y'are Darlin, enjoy," winking as you walked away to serve the next customer. But you froze as you turned.

A metallic shine flashed from the far corners of the cantina, hidden.

Your head whipped around at the pace of stars but landed empty-handed. The stall was empty. You really had thought you'd gotten over the Mandalorian by now, and it had been a few weeks since you'd had any fleeting thoughts or wanton urges. But you could've sworn you saw the telltale reflection of Beskar under neon lights. You shook your head at the thought and proceeded with your next order.

"Pretty thing you are aren't ya?"

"Thanks, Daru, such a poet with your words," you giggled convincingly at the regular. Daru had always been kind but his intentions were always clear. He wanted your body. You'd entertained the thought of it as a means of therapy, but it was fleeting and you swore to yourself you wouldn't fall that low. Daru was a handsome man, yes - honey-rich blonde curls and hazy green eyes spoke something of a mystery, of excitement. But the thought of adventure didn't tickle you like it used to, instead it petrified you. That excitement was only fuelled by one, and that fuel was finite.

"Just for tonight sweetheart, I'll make it worth your while," he murmurs, his lips sealed around the edge of the pint glass but his eyes fixed on yours. You lifted an eyebrow at him out of surprise.

"I'm sure you would Daru, but I am tired and haven't eaten all day, I just want to go home." You admit, hoping that the honesty card would steer him clear of you.

"I'll cook ya something if you like?" He offers.

"Its ok Daru, thankyou," you smiled solemnly - he was in no state to cook let alone perform.

"Why is it pretty women like you always turn down good guys like us, hmm?" He spits. You turn from where you'd been walking away, the previous softness you faked for him now shifting into a cold glare, but he continued despite your silent warning, "do ya just want arseholes who fuck you and leave you in the dirt, who hurt you and take what they want without askin'?"

"Daru..." you warn, your hand slipping to hover over the karambit hidden under the ripped chiffon of your thigh.

"What? Are you gonna beat me up, princess? What is a pretty little thing like you gonna do to a fuckup of a man like me? I've hurt people sweetheart." He hisses, standing aggressively and squaring his shoulders to you from across the bar.

The cantina is silent, all eyes now trained on you.

You tried so, so hard not to lose your shit. And you nearly held it together until Daru spoke one too many words.

"You're just a pretty mouth and a fuckable cunt"

Before he had time to react, you pulled him by the collar of his shirt, his face now only moments away from yours.

"And I've killed people, Daru, I've killed people for a lot less," you whisper to just him. His eyes widen, his realisation that the glint in your eye wasn't that of fear, but of restraint. Daru shifted and pulled but it was no use. You grabbed his empty glass from the side of the bar table and smashed it across his temple, the glass shattering and cutting both his head and your palm. But this didn't phase you as you moved your hand to the back of his head and pushed his temple into the glassy shards littering the table. He screamed as the sandy shards embedded into his flesh, but his plight was short-lived as you plunged the sharpened Beskar which hid on your hip into the nape of his neck, pinning his now lifeless body to the table.

The blood poured like a fine rum.

"Out." You mutter, but it was loud enough for those inside to hear and within a few seconds the room was empty.

"He had it coming." Comes a familiar metallic voice.

"Excuse me?" You chide as you look up, but stalling in your tracks.

There he stood.

The plight of your nightmares for the last year.

Confident and swave.

Regrettably so.

[doyelikehaggis]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Caroline Forbes x Seline (The Vampire Diaries)

"I feel like I shouldn't even have to say this," Bonnie sets down her coffee and stares at Caroline; a stern, slightly disbelieving and exasperated stare, "but don't sleep with the babysitter."

She says it with such conviction, too, as if it's a genuine concern. Like she's going to just waltz up to the new girl and suggest it! 

Caroline rolls her eyes, laughing, and replies, maybe a bit too testily, "I'm not going to sleep with her! I just..." She takes a deep breath and tries again -- without the sheepish smile this time. "She's... I just think that..."

"She's hot and you want to have sex with her."

"That's--!" Her words actually register, alongside an image of Seline, the new babysitter, as of this morning and Caroline slumps with a defeated sigh, "--totally true."

Bonnie picks her cup back up to take a drink and totally not to disguise the smile that Caroline can see on her face, plain as day. Groaning, she drops her head onto her arms with a thump. 

Bringing up the interview was a bad idea. Coffee with Bonnie had just seemed like a good opportunity to whine a bit about how infuriatingly perfect Seline was throughout the entire interview, because she can't say anything to Ric without him going all gooey-eyed and gushing even more about how great she seems. And he wouldn't even listen to her when she tried to point out that it was so obviously all just a ploy to try and seduce him, and get under his skin!

For what reason... she actually isn't sure. But it worked! Because now she's under Caroline's skin as well like the slightering little snake she is, if snakes were slender, and had impossibly smooth skin, and were able to work their venom into your veins without even touching you!

Another groan escapes Caroline but it comes out as more of a pathetic whimper if she's honest. She props her chin on her arms and pouts. 

"Why couldn't she be really horrible so that we were forced to hire the old lady nanny?" she asks miserably. "Couldn't she be like every other stranger in our lives and turn out to be some bloodthirsty monster, or an ancient, evil witch with a murderous vendetta? Why did she have to be perfect and... sparkly?"

Bonnie's eyebrows raise, and she laughs, sets down her cup, and shakes her head at her like she's the saddest sight she's seen. And that's saying a lot; she dated Jeremy, for gods sake. 

"All right, you need to pull yourself together," Bonnie tells her, leaning in across the table with a smile that's getting far too much entertainment out of this for the words coming out of her mouth. "Or else you're going to end up getting sparkly with this girl. I repeat: Do. Not. Sleep with. The nanny."

"Fine," Caroline says but she isn't convinced by her own agreement. She sits up straight, finally shaking herself out of this ridiculousness, and repeats, more clearly and calmly, "I'm not going to do anything with the nanny that would count as even slightly unprofessional. All conversations will be about the girls, or Ric, since she is clearly already trying to get her perfectly manicured claws into--"

She catches Bonnie's stare. Closing her mouth, she nods, getting the message. 

"Yeah, I'll work on it."

Bonnie nods back. "You do that. But, uh... I'd suggest doing it fast, because based on your descriptions of this gorgeous demon of a babysitter, I'd say that she has just walked in and is -- oh, yep, she's coming over here. And she's smiling. And waving. And I'm still talking -- I'm gonna go!"

Caroline's eyes widen as Bonnie is already grabbing her stuff and getting out of her seat -- the only other seat at the table. She shakes her head frantically and tries to grab for her, not able to speak as Seline reaches them far too fast with those annoyingly gorgeous long legs. 

"Hi!" Seline greets, and the moment for escape has passed. 

"Hey!" Caroline says, with way too much enthusiasm and a smile that probably looks a bit crazy. Judging by the look both she and Bonnie give her, she's guessing it does. 

"You must be the new nanny," Bonnie says to Seline. "I'm Bonnie."

Seline sticks out a hand and shakes Bonnie's with a bright smile. "It's nice to meet you! Are you leaving already...?" she asks, gesturing to Bonnie's stuck gathered rather hastily into her arms and her seat now left unoccupied. 

"I have to get to Whitmore College. My class starts in a half hour, and they're not going to learn much if their professor isn't there," she explains with a laugh that Seline joins in on, to Caroline's great dismay, because as it turns out, even that sounds perfect. Soft and silky and like a god damn siren. As an afterthought, Bonnie adds, "Well, professor in training, I guess."

"Oh, did you intern with Alaric?" Seline asks.

Bonnie and Caroline share a subtly amused look at that, and Bonnie falters for a second, trying not to let her smile show too much.

"Uh, yeah -- in a way. I'm actually teaching Occult studies, so, having him around has certainly been... a big help. What with the... history side of things and all." Recognizing her own fumbling, she quickly says, "Anyway! I have to go. I'll see you later, Care. It was nice meeting you, Seline. You two have fun!"

Caroline shoots her a disbelieving glare, eyes wide as Bonnie just smirks and makes her escape out of the cafe. Fantastic. Now it's just her and--

She turns to find Seline already taking the seat across from her and asking, "Is it okay if I sit with you for a little while? If you're not busy, of course! I'd love to get to know you better, seeing as how you're trusting me with your kids."

"And their father," Caroline says tightly, then regrets it when it comes off as a jealous ex. Even the thought of someone assuming that makes her shudder. She was more just meaning because of his bad luck in the dating department, any new women in his life seems like a bad idea, especially now that Lizzie and Josie are in the picture. 

Seline actually looks surprised by the comment. She blinks and sits up straighter. Then her expression shifts, and she's clearly trying to suppress a smile -- though, not very hard, as it twitches and tugs at the corners of her mouth as she momentarily ducks her head, nodding. 

"Ah," she says, like everything makes perfect sense now. That's worrying. Caroline is really hoping she didn't go down the wrong route with this. "I get it now. I couldn't figure out why you seemed so... off with me during the interview. I was actually worried that I had done something wrong, or my resume wasn't enough."

"No." Caroline sinks in her seat with a sigh, guilt popping her with one sharp poke. "No, Seline, that's not--"

"It's okay!" Seline assures her. "I totally get it. I've watched the movies. Girl interviews for a job as a nanny, and nine times out of ten, they end up sleeping with the father. I absolutely get why you might've thought that's what I was trying to do."

Caroline shakes her head. "No, really, it's fine. It's my fault, I shouldn't have jumped to assumptions like that. You are... lovely. And perfect. For the job! For the kids -- Lizzie and Josie will adore you, I just know it. It was extremely rude of me to assume that you had any other intentions towards the job, or towards Ric."

"Well... thank you for saying that." Seline smiles at her, mouth stretching so far across her cheeks that it's kind of impossible for Caroline not to smile back. Then Seline is saying, "But I just want you to know that, I promise, I am not trying to go after Alaric, just so that you're totally reassured and don't have any concerns about that. I'm actually gay, so."

The bluntness throws Caroline. Bonnie returns in the form of a stern voice in the back of her head, giving her a good thwack for good measure as she repeats: Do not sleep with the babysitter. There is a line and it should not be crossed. But with this new information, as well as the smile that she is currently directing right at Caroline like a very obvious beam of sunshine, it's harder to see that line. 

"Oh!" Caroline says then immediately kicks herself and scrambles to correct. "I mean -- that's great! For you. Obviously, it has no impact on me. Not that I'm not -- oh god, that came off incredibly wrong. I... am so sorry."

Seline's laughing that silky laugh again. Like music, floating into Caroline's skull and filling it with clouds, soaking up all of the worries and bad things. A sort of peaceful content is washing over like a gentle shower of rain. 

"Don't be," Seline tells her. "It's fine. And cute."

Heat rises to the surface of Caroline's skin, and she flushes. She tries to laugh it off. "Uh... thank you. I try my best."

The joke has Seline laughing even more. Caroline can't help laughing, too, letting the embarrasment be washed away.

Then Seline says, "I was actually trying to impress you, not Alaric."

Maybe it's just the slight giddiness of it all lingering for a moment afterwards, but Seline gives her a lingering look before finally switching the subject, and she swears that it meant something. If that something is a toe over the line then... she'll just pretend she can't see it. Lines are easily moved. 

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Brother': New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Brother"

"You need to stay strong...a warrior believing in our Greater Russia..."

Chapter Summary: The investigation at Peter's place put Yirina's mood in a bad way, impossible to express how she feels to Park and to talk to her, now trying to forgive herself about that and just trying to forget things...

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3200

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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What I saw inside Peter's apartment didn't actually give me a better mood from earlier today, acting a bit different than I usually am and finding myself rude at some point with Park when she was forgiving herself to me again for what she did. Peter was leading his own investigation against the Collective and hidden from the MI6 sight and I found out that even to him, I couldn't be fully trusted because of my past of having been 'Perseus child' and that, I should have known that even some people around me could still not see me as an ally because of what happened.

I came back to the car alone, wanting to have some relief and trying to think about myself as some cars were arriving on the street picking my curiosity and preparing my M1911 in the case of a surprise, ready to open fire before realizing that it was just the MI6 cleaning crew that was coming after Park made her call to them, me staying in the car as a witness of the scene while Park was supervising that part outside, guiding the others who were transporting card boxes outside to their car's trunks...all of Peter's work landing right into the MI6 hands and it was a lot at seeing those filled up boxes in their hands.

Once that this little cleaning was done in more than 20 minutes, the agents left the place, Park going back to the car to drive away and return to Century House for the car and then, walking back to the apartment but during those moments, I didn't move my lips once to start a discussion or to respond to Park who was trying on her own to do so with me, wanting to talk about things that weren't linked to what she did and our pasts but even with that happening, my lips stayed sealed during the drive and our walk back to the apartment until arriving in our bedroom.

Undressing and removing myself from the clothes I took with me as Park was looking sad, still trying to talk to me but nothing wanted to come out, not a goddamn word would be wanted to escape from my mouth despite that I would have like to do it, my mood wasn't just allowing me that to happen as it just wanted me to lay down on that bed in front of me and that's what I did, doing it without saying a word and looking away from Park, blank stare at the wall on my side of the bed.

Deep inside of me, I was feeling so bad for leaving Park without telling her what was wrong with me...everything was wrong, it was easy to think & guess but saying was harder...always been harder. To try to forgive me to her for this, I managed to turn around on the bed to look at her uncovered back, seeing those scars from her days in prison and the only thing I could do...was a cuddle with my arms, wrapping them around her and her reaction...I didn't want to know what she was going to think about it as I shut my eyes, drifting into sleep.

Two knocks...two knocks were the first things I could hear when I found myself standing upright in front of Zasha's apartment door in Moscow, dressed in my civilian's clothes: a dark green denim jacket, a black buttoned shirt, grey fingerless gloves blue jeans, and a pair of black boots, going over the bottom of my jeans. I was looking a bit worried about something I couldn't know before I starts to hear some footsteps coming through the door before it opened slowly but not entirely.

"Oh," I heard someone gasp at my sight before I could see Dedov behind the door, his body covering the space between the door and its frame. "That's...that's you, Yirina," He said, a little smile on his face.

"Hey, Dedov," I waved at him with my left hand, smiling too. "Is there Zasha here?" I asked him, trying to look inside but it was impossible as Dedov was on the way.

"Zeze?" I nodded at him. "No, they aren't here, they left to have a date with Portnova," He replied at me, his hands getting on the door.

"Oh okay, I thought that they will be here," I said, sounding a bit confused about it, scratching my right arm with my left hand.

"Well, that wasn't planned but the two didn't see each other since you & them...you know, left for your job in...Solovetsky, right?" He demanded, sounding curious.

"Yeah, it was more complicated than we thought and our work didn't allow us to make personal calls," I responded, my left hand crossing along my upper body to join the back of my head, scratching it. "I'm sorry about this," I apologized.

"No worries, it's okay if it was for your job," He exclaimed, accepting my apologies before a little weird silence got itself between the two of us as if it was impossible to find something to talk about.

"Uhm, since that Zasha isn't here...I guess that..."

"Oh no, you can come in," Dedov offered, getting the door open for me before leaning on the ground to catch the little Beans that was going for a run outside. "As for you, you can't come out, I told you that," He said, pointing at the cat who meowed at him, sounding a bit not understanding why she wasn't allowed to leave the place.

"Oww," I moaned at this scene, seeing Beans' eyes going into a cute mood focused on Dedov. "That's so cute," I affirmed, grinning as Dedov got Beans in his arms, holding her like a baby and giving her cuddles.

"Come in, I insist," Dedov insisted, gesturing at me to enter the apartment and seeing that there was nothing that was going to make me occupied, I decided to agree on his proposal and stepped inside the apartment. "You maybe want something? Tea? Coffee?"

"No, I wouldn't want to steal from Zasha's coffee reserves," I scoffed, him closing the door behind me while still holding Beans in his left arm before he laughed about it.

"Got lucky that the reserves didn't go down during the days you weren't here...well, until now," He added, releasing a friendly laugh at that remark from him. "The first thing they did when they come back after hugging me was to take one coffee...no, two...or three,"

"Put the blame on the coffee machines back at Solovetsky," I proclaimed, moving with him to the living room who was well cleaned up, a little TV turned on. "Coffee over there was awful, had to spit it multiples times, that's explaining why Zasha needed some...necessary caffeine in them," I continued, taking a breath as I walk next to the couch.

"I'm pretty sure that right now, they're arguing with Portnova about having another cup of coffee during their date," Dedov presumed, arriving in the room after me as he was just closing a door from the hallway leading to the living room.

"Them & their coffee," I muttered, rolling my eyes around before deciding to get sit on the couch.

"Go on, Beans, I'm letting you go," Dedov whispered as he leaned down to let Beans go back on the ground on her paws, directly taking the direction of the kitchen. "To say, it's nice to have an animal with me,"

"Sounds nice, shame that I didn't have the same luck on that part," I expressed, putting my hands on my lap, Dedov turning around to me with a curious face. "I can't have any animals with me at my apartment and because of a lot of things,"

"Why that?" He asked, starting to move towards a seat near the main couch. "Is this because you're not allowed to have animals in the place you're living?" I nodded.

"That but also because I can't let a little cat or puppy alone at my place while I'm away, my position isn't really helping me," I started, staying positive in my voice and gestures, feeling a bit sad to talk about it to him. "And also because I would have trouble to take care of an animal,"

"Like, you need someone else with you for that or...you want to have one but your current life isn't helping?" He guessed, me nodding at the second part of his question.

"Freya is there...well, not always here but our lives aren't allowing us to do that and even, I have to convince Freya about having either a cat or a puppy,"  I fully answered, my fingers tapping over my legs in a slow pace. "She's like me but she doesn't see the interest of having an animal with us, you know?" I added. "I don't want to force her much about this,"

"I understand," Dedov agreed, us both getting on the same line of thinking about that subject as he got himself comfy on his seat. "You know, I never thought that Freya was Norwegian, her name wasn't sounding very Russian to me," He commented.

"Yes, she is, Norwegian at heart," I smiled, just by thinking about it. "Even if she's been working with Perseus since we're been raised together by him, she's a patriot, she doesn't want to see Scandinavia getting caught in the Cold War," I continued, giving a part of the vision on her actually.

"I see, seems normal," Dedov simply told, his face telling that talking about Freya wasn't in fact the best idea of the moment, maybe thinking that he wouldn't want to have her name pronounced. "To change, why...Uhm...why did you want to see Zasha?" They asked me, turning his head to perceive Beans coming from the kitchen and in my direction.

"To give them..." I moved my right arm to reach the inside of my jacket, grabbing a sort of white envelope in my hand. "To give to you two some money," I revealed, handing over the envelope to him.

"Uhm..." He was looking a bit hesitating to take it in his hands before he resigned himself to do so. "Why?" He asked, starting to open the envelope to see the money inside.

"Money isn't my reason to live and if I can secure better tomorrows for you & Zasha, I will," I admitted, joining my hands together while Beans was starting to caress herself along my feet. "I don't need too many things to live with,"

"Like...why you don't try to pleasure yourself?" He demanded, putting the envelope on the little brown table that was separating us, the sounds of the Soviet National Anthem emitting from the TV in a low tone. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't do this but...why you don't try to...you know what I mean..."

"I'm not a person that wants to show what she did, I just want to have a normal life," I replied, feeling Beans around my legs and prompting me to take her over my lap as she was insistent to get petted by me. "I can understand that my actions aren't the best for me, you ain't the only one who told me that: Freya, Perseus & even Zasha at some time," I added, gesturing with my left fingers for counting while my right hand was stroking Beans' head. "I know that I should profit from my life but can I really enjoy it when the person I'm working with is a terrorist?"

"I...I don't know," He said, having no answer to it as I thought, he couldn't tell me how. "Me, I know that living here in Moscow isn't the thing I want to do for the rest of my life," He proclaimed, Beans moving her head towards him. "I want to go to Yale, Havard or better, Oxford," He told me.

"Western Universities?" He nodded at me.

"Hard to say but that's my dream," He claimed, smiling. "Zeze wants the 'best for their brother' as they sometimes said to Portnova but about that, it's a bit hard to make it true," He confessed, staying silent to listen to him. "What do you think about it?" He asked.

"I'm not the one to ask about something like this but yeah, I hope that you'll live your dream," I responded, trying to give my best opinion on the surprise question he asked me.. "Don't worry, Dedov, we'll find a solution for that," I said with a little smile to him before I looked at Beans, still caressing the top of her head as she was laid down on my lap.

"What do you think about it, our little Beans?"

I tried to not think about what was Park's reaction when my arms wrapped around her to give her cuddles to forgive myself but when I slowly opened my eyes in her direction, I was already feeling that something was wrong...my arms were both against the bed, wrapped around just nothing, my brain taking seconds to realize that Park wasn't here in the bed with me and in the seconds I realized that I was mixed between getting panicked or not...maybe that she was already prepared and taking breakfast, the time saying 8:24 AM.

Panic, not panic, panic, not panic...that's what I thought, and honestly, I shouldn't be panicking for that. So, after a bit of calming myself down a bit, I got up from the bed to get inside my clothes, using the same one I used last night when we had to move away in an emergency. Thinking about that while putting on my jeans was making me wonder how Zasha & Portnova will take the news, the bad having happened: Peter was missing and may be dead while Sarah was abducted by Perseus.

With a big deep breath once I put my light green jacket around me that I walk to open the door, getting out of the room to join up the others in the dining room but then...as I moved to the room and entering it, there was only Zasha present at the table with only their side of the table filled with cutlery and food as the other place were empty.

"Uhm...are you alone?" I asked them, looking around the room and to the living room part behind me, having seen no one except them here. "Where's Park? Portnova?"

"Portnova is still sleeping, she got a bad dream and I had to give her some water at 4 AM," They replied at first, sounding a bit low in their voice. "Very bad dream," They added.

"And...and Park?" I continued, my voice breaking down for that but also for hearing about Portnova, seeing that memory when I talked with her alone near the Moskova.

"You should sit down, okay?" Zasha proposed. "Have breakfast, will you?"

"Where's Park, Zasha?" I demanded, insisting on it despite their pleas before they moved away from their chair to face me.

"She's...she left earlier," They revealed, looking impossible for them to look at me in the eyes. "I tried to convince her to wait for you but she said that she got a call from the MI6, had to go before us," They added to their response, making me think that she probably didn't like my attitude with her last night.

"Shit, fuck," I cursed, shaking my head about that. "I'm going in too now," I said, starting to move to get to the front door before Zasha stepped in front of me.

"Yirina, you need to take breakfast and..." They started, moving their hands above my shoulders, wanting to say something else than this but..."Just sit down and eat something, would you?" They demanded at me, our eyes meeting again and pleading with mine.

"Fine," I sighed in a bad mood, turning around to walk towards the seat I'm always using, Zasha staying at their spot. "Did...did she told you about..." I sit on the chair, looking at them.

"Peter & Sarah?" They guessed, nodding at me. "Yeah, she did...fucking bad to hear that," They moved away to go back to their seat, my eyes crossing around the food they were having near them. "I just can't believe it,"

"I'm sorry," I apologized, my hands getting on the top of the table before crossing my arms. "Did you know if the two had families?" I asked them

"No, the two were mostly discreet in their personal lives, Peter was the one doing it the most," They responded, making me do a silent sigh away from them by looking down at my lap. "Even if we know each other since I became an MI6 agent, the two weren't willing to talk about them," They continued, crossing their arms like me.

"I'm sorry about having to make you learn that, Zed," I apologized again, tapping my fingers on my arms at a slow & silent pace, a silence coming between us that someone needed to break. "Uhm...I've got two memories back last night, you...do you want to know?" I changed the subject for the moment, unsure if the subject I chose was better.

"Tell," They simply said.

"The first one was talking with Portnova along the Moskova, only with her," I started, concentrating myself to remember it well. "She was scared about how things were happening days after...Dedov left," I added, seeing them froze in place at hearing their brother's name. "That's the first time I saw her cry in tears, it was troubling,"

"I know...she's never like that," Zasha exclaimed, their voice sadder than ever at saying it.

"The second one....it's Dedov," I admitted, thinking that I shouldn't be talking of Dedov with Zasha, knowing the current state of Dedov now. "We talked about you, things and...yeah, we talked," I breathed, stopping myself in my words, looking at Zasha who was saddened of hearing more & more about Dedov, remembering the moment I told them of Dedov's state. "My night was hard to live, things are still shitty, I didn't talk to Park at all since we left Peter's place and I'm feeling bad about a lot of things, a fucking lot," I said, holding back my tears inside of me and moving my arms on my lap.

"You don't need to..."

"Feel bad? Why shouldn't I be good?" I asked them, cutting them straight in their words. "No, I can't, I'm just trying my best to not convince myself to end the misery that I call my life," I told them like that, going up from my seat, without having eaten anything. "I want to save Dedov, to make Park & everyone happy and that we can destroy Perseus but my life is just getting resumed at reliving almost each night something that is saying that my life is filled with trauma, I'm going to live with that for months, even years," I raised up my voice as I moved to the front door, Zasha this time doing nothing to stop me.

"Yirina, I...you don't need to feel bad," They insisted, finishing their sentences that they couldn't finish. "I know the pain you're facing with...that brainwashing bullshit, we're all here for you,"

"Yeah but...I can't feel myself alone and each day, I'm getting lonely inside myself, discovering about who was 'Yirina Grigoriev' before she was left for dead on an airstrip in Turkey," I muttered, putting my hands on the front door handle to open it. "I'm holding my promises, don't worry, Zasha," I then opened the door, ready to leave for Century House before I turned around to look at them, a look of sadness on our both faces...

"I'm trying my best but I'm holding my promises to everyone,"

[kuryoomi]

scars to your beautiful (kageyama x reader)

➸  genre: angst and fluff.

➸  pairing: kageyama tobio x reader.

➸  word count: 1.5k

a/n: wHEW. i wanted to write something meanigful, but idk how it turned out !! honestly idek if this is either angst or not lowkey,,, heart fingers.

synopsis: kageyama helps (y/n) love and embrace the scars from her past.

WARNING! mentions of relationship abuse.

ouch.

warm, red blood oozed out of the exposed wound, the sharp pain visible on your face. from your left side, a little boy was apologizing to you several times with tears in his eyes. and from your right, kageyama extended an arm to lend you a hand.

"thank you." you took his hand and pulled your body up from the ground, blood still gushing out from your scraped knee.

"i'm s-so s-sorry!" the little boy sobbed in between his words.

smiling at him, you shook your head before patting his head, "i'm fine! still moving, you see?" you shook your leg to prove yourself to the little boy.

"still, be careful. you might seriously injure yourself if you don't!" teasingly, you scolded the little boy, causing him to nod his head ferociously.

"i'll b-be careful next t-time!" swallowing his tears, the little boy picked up his skateboard before running off.

seeing as the boy disappeared from their sight, you let out a breath before stumbling to keep your balance.

"oi! don't fall!" kageyama pulled you back up, "c'mon, i'll help you get seated."

he helped (carried) your body while searching for an empty bench in the park. spotting one in the distance, he continued supporting you before setting you down on the empty, wooden bench.

adjusting your position to your comfort, a sigh left your lips.

"of course this had to happen." you thought to yourself, "i knew this day was going too smoothly for my own liking! ugh, why can't my first date with tobio be a success?? curse you, bad luck!!"

"(y/n)." kageyama interrupted your thoughts, "can you roll up your jeans for me?" he was knelt in front of you, one knee up and the other knee down.

"huh?!" you snapped out of your internal conflict, "why?"

oh no.

"so that i can see your injury." he pointed directly at your knee, "the blood is seeping through your jeans."

oh no. anything but that.

"pfft, i'm sure it's fine! no big deal." you swung your legs back and forth, "you see?" unknowingly, your face gave away your pain.

he took one look at your before shaking his head, "(y/n), don't be ridiculous."

you hung your head, avoiding his eyes, before beginning to slowly roll up your jeans. as more skin got exposed, your fingers hesitated.

kageyama noticed your hesitation and helped you roll your jeans up, thinking that the pain prevented you from continuing,

"no— wait!"

a long jagged scar snaked down the side of your leg, close to your knee. the skin around the mark was slightly discolored, suggesting that it did not heal properly. this was something you did not want kageyama to see, at all. but what could you do? lady luck was not on your side today. you grimaced, too afraid to see the male's reaction.

without any comments, kageyama stood up from the ground and turned his back towards the female.

"i'll be right back." he spoke before jogging away from the bench.

oh no.

he thinks they're ugly.

oh nonono.

what if he decides that i'm worthless—

haha, no way.

as if.

tobio isn't that kind of person...

is he?

amidst your worries and doubts, you noticed kageyama return from somewhere with a plastic bag hanging from his grasp. you jumped up from the wooden park bench, ready to explain yourself.

"t-tobio! you're back!" you shuffled your feet nervously as he stopped in front of you with his eyes on yours, "don't worry! i can explain my— my um. my scars! haha see, i was in this crazy relationship a few years back and my boyfriend wasn't exactly the best person alive. b-but it's all good now! he received his punishment and i'm—"

partially listening to your rambles, kageyama silently sat you back down on the bench. without a single word, he retrieved the item he bought from the convenience store (a first-aid kit) and opened it up before quickly soaking a piece of cotton with bottled water.

"we have to clean up your wound, first." he spoke calmly as his hands dabbed the piece of cotton on your knee.

unable to process his actions, you watched as he peeled off a bandaid before sticking it onto your wound. he pressed his fingers against it lightly, the bandaid sticking well to your skin. he was gentle, almost as if he were working with fragile glass, yet firm at the same time.

"and now we're finished." he smiled softly and awkwardly made jazz hands, signaling his finished work. still struck by silence, your eyes were glued on him as you watched kageyama throw away everything except the first-aid kit, "tobio.."

he returned back to the bench and sat down, his hand reaching out to give you whatever was left inside the first-aid kit.

"here. don't want you being unprepared again." with a kind smile on his lips, kageyama leaned back against the bench and stretched him arms out, "now you can continue your story, if you want. i'm here to listen."

oh.

initially, you weren't sure how to feel when he offered his ears to you. strange, right? just moments ago, you were desperately trying to explain yourself, your scars, to him. but now that he was actually listening, it was odd.

as shocking as it may seem, you weren't used to someone offering to listen to your voice, your past, your story. maybe it was because of this reason that you actually felt nervous to say anything.

but you were compelled to tell him. this guy, who had only known you for a couple of weeks, had knocked down any barrier you had built from a previous relationship, in a matter of minutes.

was it the way he looked? at you? or was it because of his caring gestures— you had no idea. whatever it was, it worked to his favor. you instantly desired to spill everything out to him. after all, you just couldn't hide it in any longer.

"my- uh. my ex-boyfriend was abusive, both physically and mentally. he would verbally tear me down with harsh words before resolving our fight with his fists. honestly speaking, it wasn't even a fight. whenever he spat out insults to me, it was all one-sided."

you paused, contemplating on whether or not to continue. spilling details about your painful past was overwhelming, to say the least. you swung your legs back and forth, allowing your silence calm you down. luckily, kageyama was patient.

"he told me that i was ugly with all these scars—said that i should be grateful he was at least willing to be with me, even though he was the one who gave me these."

another pause, with kageyama's eyes widened the slightest bit out of anger.

"my parents eventually found out, even though i didn't want to trouble them with anything, and they reported him. he received his punishment, and i got a restraining order! happy ending to a not-so happy story." immediately, you faked a laugh and encouraged a smile on your face, as if to show kageyama that everything was alright now.

but kageyama saw through it. vividly. even if both the corners of your lips curled upwards, your eyes betrayed you. no matter how convincing your smile looked, if the eyes weren't sincere then nothing was.

you gulped softly, expecting the silence from him. you figured he was processing the information you had given himㅡ it was a lot to take in, after all.

"your ex-boyfriend seemed like an ass." he stated bluntly after a painful silence as his body turned towards to face you.

"yeah, he was. i honestly don't know why i stayed with him." another laugh escaped your lips, nervously this time, "maybe i depended on him too much. pathetic, right?" you glanced down before lifting your wounded knee upwards, "now, i got all these ugly scars marking me for the rest of my life."

"they're not ugly."

you turned your head to the side, "excuse me?"

he shrugged, "your scars. they're not ugly." kageyama said once more, "nothing on your body should be considered as ugly. why would they be?"

"because they make my body seemㅡ destroyed."

he shook his head, "no. your scars show everyone how brave you are. how you survived through the worst of times to make it to the present."

kageyama crossed his arms before continuing, "the scars on your body from your past make up your own constellations. if anything, you should be proud and embrace them."

you bit your lip. since your previous breakup, the concept of loving your body seemed impossible. of course, you'd been trying for years now, but failed every single time. heck, was it even possible? you wanted verbal assurance.

"doㅡ do you think i'm capable of embracing them?" you asked, your voice laced with hope.

kageyama stared at the female, a brief moment of silence between the two of you. he was positive that you were more than able to embrace your scars. you were strong in his eyes. of course, he was willing to help you in any way, shape, or form.

with a hand on top of your head, he gave you a small smile before nodding his head, "absolutely."

[yeolsangeleyes]

Lucky Or Not, Here I Come | Kim Minseok x Reader (ft. Kim Jongdae)

word count: around 1.3k

warnings: none

note! : This is my first published work which was written in english. I'm not a native speaker, i'm sure i have some mistakes in the story, however, the key of improvement is trying and correcting our mistakes :) So, be prepared some awkwardness. :)

requested by @itsallabigmess

Hey! I saw you are accepting requests. Can i ask for #81 with Minseok?

It took you approximately thirty-nine minutes to convince your boss to not fire you on the spot due to your mistake which - ironically - wasn't even yours to begin with. You just did what you asked you to do by the customer who, as she saw the outcome of the wedding invitation cards, started whining about the font on the front page. Even though you had asked her twice that is it going to be okay. She demanded to see the owner of this shithouse, as she described, so you do as they asked. While she talked to your boss - who was absolutely adored you but knew you were rumoured to be really unlucky - you took the lavender colored, designed cards and brought back to your table. As expected, your superior told you to do the cards again, just "he doesn't need to see that spoiled witch again".

Damnit, you sighed. I should be fast; i'll have a date after all.

You really did everything to look good, even though you weren't a big fan of blind dates, especially when they were set up by Jongdae, your biggest advocate for dating.

'Please, give it a chance!' he pleaded, eyes filled with a hint of begging. 'You're literally a workaholic, you should relax.'

'By doing small talks with members of the male species?'

'That's what dating for' he stated. 'I just want you to find the one and only.'

'You said that the last eleven times and it didn't end well.. Not everyone is lucky like you.'

'Touché. However, i promise, this is the last time. If you're going to left the date in disappointment, i'll stop.'

So, you're here.

When 15 minutes passed, you weren't worried. 15 minutes is an elegant late, is it?

30 minutes passed, so you ordered yourself an orange juice. You looked out to the window, waiting.

One hour passed, you started getting annoyed. You dialled Jongdae's number on your phone but he of course didn't pick up. You already have drunk your second juice but this time, with a small cupcake. Even the sweet, chocolate flavour couldn't make you forget your growing frustration.

When you were waiting for one and a half hour, you called Jongdae for the second time - he didn't pick up again -, you paid at the counter, said your goodbyes to the workers and went out in the exit.

You needed to blink to process what was happening around you. Then you realized the rain was pouring.

'Are you kidding me?' You groaned. 'Are you really kidding me?!'

This day can't be worse, you stated firmly while walking around downtown and the majority of people, with umbrellas, wrinkled their brows at you or give you a weird look. You wished you could tell them something rude, however your eyes were enough to paint your mood around them.

Although it's the end of March, the weather reminded you a mix of a chilly night in November and a powerful storm in July. As you walked beside a bar, you mind went back in time where Jongdae had told you his girlfriend said yes in his proposal and as it should be, you had celebrated it with tons of sojus and friendly promises.

People started disappearing on the street, everyone were looking for safe space where they could have escape from the violent touch of the rain. You didn't bother that much, knowing the fact it's about twenty minutes until you got home; where you can have a warm bath, eat dinner and watch something on Netflix.

You smiled a little bit, thinking about these things. But then, a car happened and your body met a big amount of water.

You were sitting on a bench, completely soaked, waiting for a demon, an angel or any kinds of upper entity to end your suffering. Were you a little dramatic?

Yes, but who cares? You were completely done for the day, to say the least.

To be honest, you wanted to scream or curse out loud. Were you really that lacking of luck ineverything?

This was the 12th time when you were stood up by your date and you started to feel this is your fate, you're going to be alone with nine cats and one of them is going to be named Sirius - because why not - and maybe you're going to spend your remaining days with knitting and whining over your favourite books in your really comfortable blue armchair; cover your cold legs with a baby pink blanket.

The loud thunder and a hand on your shoulder made you jump on your place. You wanted to ask them what the hell did they touch you but when you looked back, a man with an unreadable expression appeared in front of you. As your eyes scanned him up and down, you noticed his jeans were soaked, however his upper body was completely dry. That was when you saw the umbrella.

'What are you doing here?' the voice fitted for his childlike yet somehow mature looks. You seriously couldn't decide if he's over the age of 20 or older and you didn't love traps like that. Mostly when traps like him were that handsome and you look like a living box of wet wipe.

'Ehm... Feeling the rain, i guess?'

The stranger wrinkled his brows.

'You know you can get a really bad cold?' the honest worry in his voice suprised you as he still held the umbrella over you.

'Yeah, i know' reading his face you knew this answer wasn't enough for him. 'Fine. I had a shitty day, this is just icing on the cake.'

'We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanted to stop and feel the rain? Okay, I understand.'

'Why do you care?' It was your time to ask. Why did a simple man like him talking to you? Why?

'I'm a human being' he explained. 'I can be worried about a woman who casually sits alone in a bench in this weather. Plus, i'm just going home, i live around the area.'

He held out his hand to introduce himself and to your amaze, his name rang a bell on you.

'Wait a minute. Are your surname is Kim, by chance?'

'Kim Minseok, for your service' he put his free hand on his chest and pretended to bow. 'If you're curious, i had a bad day too. One of my close friend organized me a date, but i dropped my phone on the second floor, it died. I got stuck in a traffic jam and when i finally got out of it and went to the rendezvous, she was gone. Moreover, i can't even call her to say sorry because i don't have her number' The story left you dumbfounded, so you just stared at him. 'I'm sure she's thinking of me as an asshole now.'

Fate was really moody today, you thought. What kind of tricky game is this?

You throat felt dry, your mouth opened in shock. You took a deep sigh and stand up from your place, standing in front of the strang- i mean, Minseok.

'First of all, she doesn't think you're an a-hole. Second of all, if that certain friend is called Kim Jongdae, that's great. Third of all, if the answer of the previous statement is yes' you held out your hands while you chuckled 'hi, nice to meet you. I'm the woman you supposed to meet up with. '

After a certain amount of winks, he laughed and a gummy smile appeared on his face.

'Lucky or not, i know your first impressions on me were tremendous however, i hope i can make it up to you somehow. I would love to, honestly.'

Now you were nodded.

'I have two conditions. One, don't be late. Two, i think i need your number to prevent scenarios like that.'

thank you for the request and thank you for reading this! ❤ as i'm posting this, i'm scared a little bit about the reactions but i hope you'll love it! 🥺

[vidkid20ssimblrlair]

Episode 16: What About Grace (Part 1)

Last night had been a turning point for me. For the first time in this godforsaken world, I felt truly alone. These people had welcomed me with open arms and now they couldn't even look me in the eye. My truth and past had made me an outcast. I could hear Audrey laughing now in the kitchen. She was talking to me now thankfully, but how long would that last? How long before the others convinced her I was just some scumbag thief? She fit here. I didn't. I don't think anything I could say now could make me fit.

I passed the kitchen and out the now boarded up door that led out to the backyard. I sat down on the steps. Everyone seemed to be inside enjoying breakfast. Pancakes as usual. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't welcomed. The first thing this morning I was met with looks of disgust and fear as I walked through the hallways upstairs. Wade looked at me as if I was a monster as he exited the bathroom. Aaron immediately closed his door upon seeing me. He looked as if seen a ghost. Then Lin stared at me looking unsure as we locked eyes on the stairs. Then there was Matthew. He truly hated me now. He peered out from the living room watching me with utter contempt on his face.

In fact, Audrey and Omar seemed to be the only ones left who still liked me or tolerated me at least. Well, those that I could confirm. I hadn't seen Grace, Mr. Jones, Madison, Tao or Nathan. Not even DJ. I had overhead DJ talking to Jones this morning in the hallway about the corpses. From the sounds of it, he would be spending most of the day taking out any he saw roaming around the premises after what happened last night. I was sort of relieved by this. If he had any thoughts about kicking me out I could at least prepare myself for the blow and hopefully make up a good plea for Audrey to stay.

I groaned feeling absolutely miserable and worn out. The sun was beating down on me and the heat was sweltering today. Summer was definitely making itself known. Luckily no corpses seemed to be around, but nature still thrived. I watched some birds fly over me. I found it fascinating how they had somehow survived in this fucked up world. I had even seen a deer in my travels. I closed my eyes trying to clear my mind taking in the organic sounds around me.

"Hey, Vincey! Breakfast?!"

A very loud and obnoxious voice then startled me. I looked up to see Audrey standing over me with a stupid grin on her face.

"Ahh! Shit! What are you a ninja? I didn't even hear you. What the hell?"

She giggled and placed her hand on her hip. "Maybe, but aren't you hungry?"

"No," I mumbled sitting up.

"You're lying. Come in and eat something."

"Nah. I don't eat where I'm not wanted. And I know I'm not wanted."

She cocked her head. "What makes you think that?"

"You haven't seen how they look at me now. They hate me."

"Wah Wah! They hate meeee! You sound like a kid," she said mocking me.

I rolled my eyes. "You know I liked you better when you were unconscious."

"Always the insults with you," she jested. "Well, continue your pity party out here. I'm going inside. I'll make sure Madison saves you a plate.

"Yeah, thanks."

"But Vince..."

"What?!"

A warm smile graced her face. "What you did last night was pretty brave. I'm glad you told the truth."

I shrugged. "Nothing to it."

She went back in the house and I leaned back staring up at the sky again. The wind was kicking up making the heat more tolerable. I checked in my pocket for my cigarette. I had been saving one since the gas station. It was stale, but it would do the trick. I stuck the cig in my mouth and dug in my other pocket for the lighter I bummed off of Nathan, but I stopped midway during my search when I heard footsteps. I took the cigarette out of my mouth and glanced over my shoulder to see Grace standing over me now.

She smiled and sat down beside me. I wasn't really sure how to react to her. We had barely talked since my introduction into the house. We exchanged pleasantries here and there, but we hadn't had a real conversation. Audrey, on the other hand, had become quite fond of her though. Still, it felt strange sitting next to her and from what I heard I should tread lightly when speaking with her.

"Hey," I said feeling suddenly nervous. "Something up?"

"Whew, it's hot. No. Just enjoying the scenery, child," she said wiping sweat off her forehead. "Besides, I thought you might need some company. You look...troubled."

"Nah, Ms. Grace. I'm fine. Just...just lost in thought," I sighed as I fiddled with my cigarette.

She shook her head and took my hands into hers. I turned to meet her eyes and she had the sweetest expression on her face. One of understanding and concern, but I wasn't convinced she could comprehend what I was going through even if I did tell her. Alzheimer's had crippled her emotionally and robbed her of the complexities of thought. If I confided in her I assumed I would just upset her, but what she said next astonished me.

"You're worried about last night," she said plainly. "You told us about your criminal past and now everyone's tiptoeing around you like you're some bad guy."

I looked at her stunned. She laughed and continued. "I know. I see. I got two eyes. Just because I got Alzheimer's don't make me stupid, Mr. Martez. I listen. Now I don't always understand, but when I do I do," she said winking. "Now would you like to know what I think of you?"

"Well...uh..."

"I think you have a good heart," she said now placing one hand on my chest. "I can tell. You know too, but you doubt yourself, but I can tell you you're no monster. No matter what you've done. Your past is only part of your story. The rest is up to you to tell and from the looks of it, you got a lot left to tell. You're here for a reason."

"Here for a reason. Maybe I just got lucky," I thought out loud.

"That's more than luck. I don't know what you believe in, but someone or something wants you here and they’re watching over you," she said quietly. "You’re getting your second chance. We'll all are and we better not waste it."

"How you figured that?"

She closed eyes and sighed. "I could sit here like this forever. It's so nice here, but it's best I get back to Omar. That man will lose his mind if he doesn't have breakfast and his morning paper."

"Ms. Grace. Are you ok?"

She stretched and began climbing to her feet. I rose up immediately and helped her the rest of the way. I took her arm in mine and guided her to the door.

"You got a good heart, Vince. You're a good man," she said nodding as I held the door open for her.

I chuckled. "Thanks. I wish everyone else thought the same as you."

She stopped in the doorway and folded her arms eyeing me suddenly serious now. "They will. They're just afraid and it's easier to be afraid nowadays. Also smarter to be cautious."

I was speechless.

"Besides, according to society, we should be afraid of you. Especially me. A little old lady in the presence of a convict. Heaven forbids", she smirked. "But I'm not and society no longer exists. Time's are changing my friend."

I couldn’t hide how impressed I was with her. I stared at her in amazement. Then I saw her smile slowly fade and her confidence diminish with it. Suddenly she looked confused as if she was looking for something.

"Something wrong?"

"No. Just looking for that darn cat. Ms. Fluffy," she said looking frantic suddenly. "Also the paperboy hasn't delivered the paper these past few days. Omar will be so upset."

"Grace. There's no newspaper or paperboy, honey. Come on, you need a nap," Omar said appearing at the doorway beside her. He turned his attention to me. "She been bothering you?"

"No. Not at all."

"Talking nonsense?"

"Actually not much at all. Everything she said up till now has made the most sense," I said shaking my head in disbelief.

He first looked at me as if I was crazy, but he quickly smiled and patted me on the shoulder. I watched the two of them enter the house then and suddenly Tao appeared. He poked his head out the door looking nervous. His eyes darting from me to elsewhere.

"Whatsup kid? Something the matter?" I asked staring at him.

He looked around and whispered, "Um...did you really kill people?"

A small laugh escaped my lips. "No."

"So you’re really innocent?"

"Yeah. Now I'm no saint, but yeah I was."

"No. I was just wondering," he said coly as he shuffled on his feet. "Do you have a mugshot?"

I chuckled again. "Tao.”

“What? I mean it’s dope if you do.”

“Tao, go in the house!”

“What? What I do?"

I laughed again hardily. I could barely contain myself. I put my arm around him and guided him towards the door. Carefree. My mind and body feeling a bit lighter now. I hadn't won over everyone, but this was a start.

For once I felt hopeful, but it was a feeling that would be short-lived. Maybe not so much the hope, but the feeling of ease. An ease that would be lost that very night and replaced with the feeling of utter despair.

Previous Episode- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

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[bizarrewritings-blog]

Unfair - B.B.

Bucky Barnes (x) reader

Genre: Angst/Sadness, fluff

Warnings: Alcohol consumption

Word count: 5,583

It's been a year since you joined the Avengers and your life hasn't been the same. The people around you have become your second family. You've made friends with everyone not even 2 month after you joined. They were all incredibly nice to you, trying everything to make it easier to get used to your new job, new surrounding, new life.

But of course, every change brings positive as well as negative effects. That negative effect was a metal armed soldier.

The first time you met him he already had an effect on you, his blue eyes shining while he smiled almost making your knees buckle. But already then you told yourself it would be dumb to fall for him. You worked with him, keeping it professional was rule number 1. Nothing more than friends.

That's what you've been telling yourself the last 12 month. Sadly, your fondness for him only grew over time. You suddenly noticed all the little things he did. Like the way his nose would scrunch up when he laughed really hard, or the way he furrowed his brows and sometimes bit his lip when he was concentrated. The sad smile he gave you when he came to you after a nightmare and the peaceful breathing when he accidentally fell asleep in your room after. These and all the other small details made you completely fall for him, and you hated yourself for it. Because he surely saw you as a good friend, nothing more.

-

You sat in the kitchen, munching on your ham sandwich. It was 6 in the morning, but after you once again dreamed of the man who literally slept next door, you couldn't bring yourself to fall asleep again. So you sat in the kitchen, sighing again, thinking about what or who you can't have.

A happy "Morning!" forced you out of your thoughts and made you jump slightly. Your eyes shot in the direction it came from, making you gulp. Bucky walked over to you with a big grin on his face, shirtless, his grey sweatpants sitting low on his hips. Yes, this also made it harder to force down your feelings for him.

"Morning." You murmured, turning your attention back to the sandwich in your hands. "Slept well?" He grabbed an apple and sat next to you, nodding at your question. "Had a perfect night." He grinned before biting into the fruit. He has been immensely happy the last weeks. You were glad, of course. But he also didn't have a reason to join you at night. And you missed it.

"How about you?" Bucky asked, smiling. You looked at him, a questioned look on your face. He chuckled at that. "Did you sleep well." You mentally face palmed yourself. Of course, could you be more awkward. "Oh, uhm, not really." His expression turned from happy to concerned, tilting his head. You just stared at your sandwich, hoping he wouldn't ask. But you never had luck, right? "Had a nightmare or something?" You huffed out a small laugh. "Kinda, not really, i don't know." You rambled, taking a bite. His brows furrowed together, thinking about what you could mean. "Wanna talk about it? I'm here for you, you know." He gave you a small, but loving smile, making your heart flutter. Why did he have to be so nice? You took a breath, shaking your head no. He nodded at that, patting your shoulder before going back to his apple. You both just sat there for a while, eating your breakfast in silence.

"Good morning." Steve joined you two, breaking the silence. He picked up an apple as well, taking the place infront of you and Bucky. "Hey are you two coming with us on a night out this Saturday?" You looked up at him. "Night out?" You asked, taking the last bite of your sandwich.

"Yeah, nothing big, just us at a bar. Just to get outside of here for once." Steve explained. You shrugged. "Guess I'll join. Natascha would probably kill me if I wouldn't." Steve smiled and nodded, turning to Bucky. He was staring at the table, his jaw clenched. Both you and Steve were confused at his reaction. "I-I can't." Steve pouted at that. "Come on, why not? So you can stay here alone again?" Bucky gulped, his face reddening. "No I'm...I have other plans." Steve suddenly grinned. "You have date?" Buckys eyes shot up, your heart stopping for a second. "So it's true! Come on, who is she?" Steve teased, hitting his shoulder lightly, Bucky clearly uncomfortable. "Please drop it Steve, I'm-" "No come on we won't tell. Right Y/N?" Both men turned to you while your gaze fixated on the now empty plate in front of you. He was seeing someone?

"Y/N you okay? You look pale." Steve said, concern in his voice. Shitshitshitshit. "Yeah, I'm...I didn't sleep well, maybe I'm getting sick or something." You stood up at that, excusing yourself before heading back to your room.

Arriving there you dropped on your bed, face first, letting out a frustrated groan. He had a date. With someone else. You turned on your back, staring at the ceiling. So you were right all along. He didn't see you as more than a friend. You secretly hoped you were wrong, that he would admit he would feel the same as you. But here you were. You let your hands fall to your face, whining. Why did you let it come so far? Why did you have to fall for him?

You imagined what the girl would look like. Probably model like, with long legs, perfect hair and smooth skin. Of course he would go for a girl like that. You weren't good enough for him.

That thought made tears well up in your eyes. You let them fall, burying your face in your pillow.

You spend the rest of the day in your room, not wanting to face Bucky. You knew it was stubborn, he was a free man, he could do whatever he wanted. Your stomach soon enough convinced you to leave your room, your hunger outdoing your fear of meeting Bucky. You regretted your decision as soon as you walked into the kitchen. The ongoing conversation stopped, four faces whipping your direction, Natasha, Sam, Steve and Bucky looking at you. You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by the sudden reaction. "Is something?" "You've been in your room all day." Natasha remarked. You shrugged, continuing your way. "I told Steve and Buck this morning that I wasn't feeling well." You decided on Ramen noodles, wanting to eat something warm but not wanting to spend the time it took to cook something. "You feeling better?" Steve asked, concern in his voice.

'No' your brain screamed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You lied, opening the package. Thank god your back was turned to them. Especially Natasha could read your face like a book. And you definitely didn't look fine. "What were you talking about?" You asked, wanting to change the topic. "We still trying to figure out who Tin man has a date with." Sam answered, the grin on his face almost audible. You took a breath, setting up the electric kettle as Bucky spoke. "I'm not saying anything. Especially not to you." You guessed he pointed at Sam who let out a fake hurt "Hey!" You rolled your eyes, tapping your fingers on the counter, waiting for the water to boil so could finally get out of there again.

"You could at least admit you have a date!" Natasha said. You heard Bucky sigh heavily while your water finally boiled. "Yes, okay, I have a date. You happy now?" Bucky said just as you grabbed the kettle. You stopped any movement, you could almost hear your heart breaking in your chest. You clenched your jaw, pouring the water on your noddles as you heard cheers from the three. "Dude, good for you! Maybe you're not that grumpy all the time when you finally get laid again." Sam's words caused Bucky to hit him and tears to well up in your eyes. Your grabbed your bowl and a spoon, leaving the kitchen without a word. You could hear Natasha's "What's up with her?" before you turned around a corner. A couple of tears had escaped from your eyes, leaving trails down your face. You stepped into the elevator and pressed the button of your floor, dropping your head against the wall behind you as the door closed. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. He wasn't yours. It was okay for him to date someone.

The elevator stopped and you walked to your room, closing the door with your foot before setting the Ramen on your bedside table. You sat down on your mattress, your face in your hands, letting out a shaky breath. God, you were so far from fine.

The next days were hard. You avoided Bucky as best as you could, leaving him confused. When Saturday arrived you really wanted to stay home. But Natasha wouldn't let you. "Come on please, I don't want to be the only Single women in there! Wanda is gonna throw herself at Vision as soon as she downed the first drink. Please Y/N!" She barely begged for anything, so you were practically forced to say yes. You threw on a white, slightly oversized t-shirt with some black jeans and basic sneakers. It wasn't anything fancy and you didn't need to try to look good for someone.

You met with the rest of the crew in the living room, except for Bucky. "Let's go, shouldn't we?" Tony said as you arrived. Steve stopped him. "Bucky told me we should wait here." Everyone looked at him confused, caused him to shrug.

Bucky suddenly entered the room, your eyes widening at his appearance. He wore a black, buttoned up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with a dark blue tie around his neck and some black jeans. His hair looked softer as ever, his beard neatly trimmed. He looked straight up beautiful. Your heart ached as you reminded yourself that he'll never dress like that for you.

"Since you're all here, I'd like you to meet someone." He smiled before someone appeared behind him, walking towards his side. You gulped hard, jaw clenched. "This is Mary." She looked beautiful. Almost as you imagined. Long legs, smooth skin, perfect hair. Her hourglass figure, her bust size, everything looked great. She was perfect. Your eyes shifted from her to Buckys face, and if your heart wasn't completely broken before, it was now. He looked at her with pure love in his eyes, a toothy smile on his lips. He was truly happy.

Everyone went up to the pair to introduce themselves to Mary. You figured you had to as well, so you put on a fake smile, shaking her hand and introducing yourself. You couldn't wait to get to the bar to push down the sadness with alcohol.

When Bucky and Mary finally left the building you got going as well, making your way to the small bar. You instantly went for the booth, wanting to sit on a cushion rather than a wooden chair while getting wasted.

It only took 3 shots and 2 coktails to forget her name again. You then stopped counting, constantly in your own world while your friends kept talking about Bucky and his date. "Okay, so who here thinks he gets to fuck her?" Sam asked, laughing. You scrunched your nose in disgust over his words. "I mean she's smoking hot. He'll definitely try to get in her pants." Clint answered, earning a high five from Sam. You looked over at Steve, who was almost as uncomfortable with the topic as you. Almost.

After about an hour of you saying about 10 words, Steve knew something was off. He was probably the only one completely sober, thanks to the serum which basically prevented him from becoming drunk. You were already completely gone, downing another shot. You then felt his hand on your shoulder. "Hey, wanna go outside? Get some fresh air?" You looked at him, your vision already starting to blur slightly. "Why?" You hiccuped, trying to find the straw of your cocktail with your lips. He rolled his eyes, standing up before helping you to your feet. You whined his name as he almost dragged you outside. He sat you down on one of the chairs there, letting your had fall back against the glass front of the bar. The sun was setting, the sky a pretty reddish colour. You took a breath, chill air filling your lungs.

"What's going on with you?" Steve suddenly asked, making you flinch. "Dunno what you're talkin' about." You slurred, licking your lips. "Oh come on. Do you think you're that hard to read?" You sighed at that, head dropping down. "It's not fair." You murmured, your numbed brain not realizing it might be a bad decision to talk. "What's unfair?" Steve asked, crouching down next to you to face you. "He...being with her." You continued, your voice quivering. "You mean Bucky?" You nodded, sniffling. "You like him, mh?" You nodded again. "Why didn't you say anything?" You rolled your eyes at that, running a hand through your hair. "Cause he didn't-" A hiccup interrupted you. "He didn't think of me like this. And she's the proof." Steve sighed at that, his heart breaking at your depressing state. "But getting drunk won't help." "Oh it helped! I was fine until you decided to bring me outside to torture me!" With that you stood up, waddling your way back into the bar to down a couple more drinks.

When you all made your way home an hour later, Steve had to hold you up the entire way. You already threw up in the bathroom two times, the ache of your heart shifted to your stomach. But you smiled the entire time, babbling about how good of a friend Steve is. He managed to get you home without any troubles, but on the way to your room you accidentally slipped from his grasp, landing on the floor with a loud thud. You just bursted out laughing, the alcohol numbing your pain. Steve still stood above you, rolling his eyes. Why did he always had to be the babysitter?

As he tried to help you up you heard a door open, catching your attention. Bucky came out of his room, rubbing his eyes. He had been asleep already? And why was he here?

"What's going on?" He asked, his voice raspy. Steve opened his mouth to say something but you were faster. "You date didn't go so well mh?" You asked, letting your head fell back as you laughed. "She wouldn't let you in her pants? I feel sooooo sorry for you." The sarcasm in your voice caused Bucky to furrow his brows. His eyes went to Steve who gave him an apologetic smile. "She's drunk." "And problem free." You added, grinning. "You never get so wasted." Bucky stated, clearly bewildered by your behavior. "That's because-" You stopped mid sentence to stand up, almost falling over in the process. When you finally were on two feet again, thanks to Steve who helped you, you walked towards Bucky, pressing your pointer finger against his t-shirt covered chest. "because you decided to go out with that..." You tried to find a fitting insult, your mouth opening and closing as you struggled to end your sentence. "That still doesn't answer why you're so drunk." You opened your mouth to answer, ready to spill your heart out, but a sudden hand on your mouth prevented you from it. You struggled to get Steves hand from your face while he talked. "She should really go to bed before she says something she might regret in the morning." He said before dragging you to your room, leaving an now even more confused Bucky behind.

As you two reached your room, Steve sat you down on your bed, his hand finally leaving your mouth. "Why did you do that?" You protested. You tried to hit him, almost falling back doing so. "Because you would have told him about your feelings. And you clearly don't want to do that cause you probably like him for a while already without saying anything." He made a clear point, but your drunken brain wouldn't accept that. "What would change, huh? He's going out with that perfect Barbie Bitch and I'm here suffering." You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest. Steve sighed, shaking his head. You can't argue with a drunk person. "Just go to sleep. You'll thank me in the morning." With that he left your room.

The next morning was tough. You woke up with a sore body and a headache. As you sat up slowly you realised you fell asleep in your clothes, the belt of your jeans uncomfortably tight. You carefully stood up to change into some sweatpants before making your way down into the kitchen. You were greeted by Steve, an amused expression on his face as he took in your hungover state. "Mornin'" you rasped, taking a glass and filling it with water. "How are we feeling?" Steve mocked. You narrowed your eyes at him as you sat down at the table across from him. "How much do you remember from last night?" You let your head drop back, thinking. "When did Wanda got on Visions lap?" "Half an hour after we got into the bar?" "That's the last thing." Steve let out a heavy breath through his lips. You shot him a questioning look. "Why? What did I do?" Steve let out a small laugh. "First, you told me that you have a crush on Bucky. Then you wanted to tell him, but I could prevent that last minute." His lips curled into a smile as you watched him in shock. "I was drunk, I-I don't have a crush on B-" "Drop that, Y/N. I know you do. You told me how unfair it is that he was going on a date with Mary and not with you." You gulped, dropping your gaze. Then you remembered what Steve said a couple minutes ago. "Wait, how could I tell Bucky? Wasn't he at his date?" Steve shook his head. "He was home when I helped you to your room. He came out of his when you slipped on the floor and laughed like a maniac." He was home? Not on his date?

"Did you talk to him?" You asked, looking up at him again. He gulped. "No." "You're the worst liar." He just sighed. "It didn't go that well. He was pretty down and what you said to him made it worse." Your eyes widen, both because his date was bad and you hurt him. "What did I say?" Steve quotes your words from last night, making you groan, embarrassed. "I didn't mean it! He hurt me, I guess I wanted to hurt him back." Steve nodded. "He also asked what you wanted to say before I dragged you away." You gulped. "You didn't tell him, right?" Steve shook his head no. You let out a sigh of relief. "But you won't be able to avoid telling him. Thank your drunken self."

It was already noon when Bucky came out of his room. You were in the lounge with the other Avengers who drank a little too much last night. And Steve, the Babysitter. "Morning." Bucky murmured. Your head instantly whipped his direction. He had coffee in his hands and you noticed that his eyes were slightly red, the smile he used to have on his lips all these weeks long forgotten. He sat down on the same couch as you, both of you on opposite ends, Steve in between. "How did your date went?" Tony asked. Bucky clenched his jaw. "Don't wanna talk about it." Noone asked further. Thank god Sam was still asleep.

As the rest of the group kept chatting, you sat there in silence. Maybe Bucky hasn't noticed you. You would keep it that way. But then the topic of the conversation changed to you. "Seriously Y/N how much did you drink last night? You couldn't even stand up straight by yourself." Wanda chuckled. All faces turned to you, Buckys as well. You felt your face heat up. "Definitely too much." "Yeah I've never seen you so wasted. Needed to drink some problems away?" Tony tried to joke. You let out a small laugh at the irony. That was exactly why. Thankfully the topic changed again. That was your calling to get into the kitchen to get some painkillers.

You filled a glass with water as Bucky entered the kitchen as well, jumping to sit on the counter behind you. "Headache?" He asked, noticing the pack of ibuprofen. You nodded, your back still facing him so he couldn't see your reddened face. "You hit your head pretty hard last night. Sounded painful." You shrugged your shoulders. "Didn't feel anything until now." You took the pill in your mouth, swallowing it with the water. You heard Bucky sighing. "So...I don't know if you remember last night." You froze, knowing where this conversation would lead to. "You wanted to say something to me and Steve held you back. Do you...can you remember what you wanted to tell me?" You turned around to face him. "I do. But I won't tell you." His brows furrowed. "Why?" "Cause it's stupid. Steve knows it and that's bad enough. My drunk self is an idiot." You turned around, wanting to leave the kitchen but he took your arm, wanting you to stay. "You said that you got drunk because of me. Because I went on that date." You closed your eyes, sighing. You really hated your drunken self. "I was completely wasted. I didn't know what I was talking about." He rolled his eyes. "Liar."

You took a breath. "Do you love her?" Your question caught him off guard, his hand leaving your arm. "I don't know. I only know that I shouldn't." You looked at him, confused by his words. "She isn't worth it." He continued. "When we were at the restaurant, some guy came up to us claiming to be her boyfriend. She said I wasn't someone important, 'a friend from work' that's what she called me. I left instantly." He took a breath, clearly hurt. "I liked her. She was really nice and beautiful as well." Your heart fell at his words, wishing to be the one he talks about like that. "But she was just playing games. So I don't really care anymore." You nodded, touched by his honesty. "I'm sorry about that." You said, smiling sadly. Bucky just nodded. "That's my story. Now yours." You sighed. You wanted to say it, but at the same time you were anxious as hell. "I-I really can't." His eyes narrowed. "Are you serious?" You heard a hint of anger in his voice, making you flinch. "I just told you all of this, I was completely honest with you, and you can't tell me that one thing?" He raised his voice a little, making you clench your jaw and drop your gaze. You couldn't stand when people that mean much to you yelled in your face.

"I-I'm scared." He let out a huff of annoyance. "Weren't so scared last night when you called me out for not getting laid!" As he didn't lower his voice, you felt tears welling in your eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I-" "Yeah you fucking should!" You couldn't take it no more. You lifted your gaze to his, a pained expression on your face and tears in your eyes. His face immediately softened, guilt replacing anger. "Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't h-" You lifted your hand, silently telling him to stop, before leaving the kitchen.

You spend a couple hours in your room, your eyes red and puffy from crying. He didn't mean to get loud, you knew that. Just like he knew that you didn't mean the words you said the past night. But still, both of you were hurt by each others actions. And you were frustrated as ever because you couldn't tell him how you felt. But spending another day in your room wouldn't help either. So you slowly got up, changing into your sport clothes to go to the gym. It was the best thing to do when you're frustrated right?

The gym was empty as you arrived and you thanked god for it. You made your way to the punching bags, starting with light punches which quickly turned into rough kicks and hits against the leather. You were mad at yourself. Mad for being such a wimp for not telling Bucky everything. How jealous you were yesterday, how much it hurt you to see him with another girl. The image of him looking at her with pure admiration in his eyes came back into your mind, forcing you to hit the bag even harder. The hook it was hanging on broke, the sack itself flinging on the ground. You just stood there, breathing heavily, until you heard someone clapping behind you. Cap and Bucky looked at you with completely different expressions. While Steve grinned and clapped, Bucky looked almost horrified, a hint of guilt in his eyes as he thought that this was because of your encounter earlier. "Welcome in the 'Punch the bag off the ceiling' club!" Steve laughed, his hand landing on your shoulder. You didn't answer, just wiped the sweat from your face.

As you hung up a new bag Steve and Bucky got onto the mats for fighting training. You tried to ignore any sounds from them while hitting the bag again, slightly careful to not punch it across the room again.

"You're really distracted today, you know?" you heard Steve, followed by a loud thud and a groan from Bucky who probably just landed on the ground. You took a deep breath, knowing that you were the reason. You decided to end things for today, leaving the gym to take a quick shower.

After that you went to the lounge, thankful to only be greeted by Steve, Sam and Natasha talking. No Bucky in sight. You dropped down on the couch next to Steve, facing the ceiling with your eyes closed. "Still hungover?" Sam teased, grinning. You shook your head. "Other problems than that." Sam looked at Natasha who was just as confused as him. They turned to Steve who just shrugged his shoulders. "What's up w-" Natasha was interrupted by someone else entering the room, causing you to clench your jaw at his voice. Was he following you? "Hey Steve, have you seen my Shaker cup thing? I thought I left it at the gym but I couldn't find it." "I put it in the dish washer, don't worry." Steve answered his best friend. You secretly hoped Bucky would leave at that again, but the universe hated you. Or at least Sam did.

"Hey, do you know what's wrong with her?" You didn't need to open your eyes to know he was pointing at you. You let out an annoyed groan. There was silence for a couple seconds before Buckys "Uhm...I don't..." And he said you were bad at lying? Jesus Christ. "So you know what's up! Come o-" "You can't let me feel down without knowing what's going on, mh? How about you deal with your own shit." You snapped at Sam, standing up to storm past Bucky and out of the room. Maybe you were overreacting, but you had enough of people not minding their own business.

You went to your room again, probably the only room you wouldn't run into Bucky. That's what you thought. But shortly after you sat on your bed there was a knock at your door. You sighed. Before you could tell the person to get lost your door opened, Bucky stepping in. He was nervous, his lips pressed together. "I didn't tell you to come in." You murmured, not looking at him. "I-I know, I just didn't...I want to talk to you." You sighed at his words, pinching the bridge of your nose. "What should we talk about? What we said hurt both of us. Pretty sure we both feel sorry. That's it." Then was Buckys turn to sigh. "I'm not talking about that. I know you want to tell me something. And I know that how I asked for it earlier wasn't nice." He ran a hand trough his hair, waiting for your reply. "I already said i can't-" "No, stop that. You can." Buck interrupted you, walking over to you to sit next to you on your bed. You closed your eyes, shaking your head. He sighed. "Okay, then. let me put the pieces together and you just say yes or no, alright?" You clenched your jaw, but nodded. He'll get behind it but at least he wouldn't make you say it.

"So, you weren't happy about my date with Mary?" You nodded. "And that made you get wasted?" You nodded again. "You were jealous?" You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, nodding. "Did you want to get out with me instead of her?" You closed your eyes again, nervous about your answer. "Come on Y/N." "Yes" You blurted out, feeling your face heating up. You nervously looked over to Bucky. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. "Do you like me?" You took a breath, your heart hammering in your chest. Still, you nodded . "More than a friend?" You nodded again. "You want me to kiss you?" Your eyes widened at his question, your jaw dropping lightly. Bucky just kept grinning down at you. "You need to answer, doll." You just nodded and not a second later his hand was cheek and his lips on yours. You didn't return it right away, being too shocked by his actions. Bucky almost regretted his decision, before your hand landed on the back of his neck, moving your lips against his. He smiled against your mouth as you sighed, the feeling of his lips finally on yours making you feel like you were about to pass out.

When your brain proceeded what was happening you pushed him away slightly, causing him to whine and leaning towards you again, not wanting to stop kissing you. You let out a small laugh at that, still pushing him completely off you. "So, you like me too?" He nodded, grinning. "Then why didn't you tell me? And why did you go out with Mary?" He sighed at your question, sitting up straight. "I was scared you wouldn't want to be with someone from the team. I also never catched signs from you that you felt the same, not even when I came here after a nightmare. And that with Mary...Yes she was really nice, maybe I had a small crush on her, but she was just to distract me from you." He explained, giving you an apologetic smile. "Yeah, I'm not the type of person to show how I feel about someone unless they make hints that they feel the same. I guess we're both like that, that was the problem." Bucky let out a laugh at that, nodding. "I'm happy that you admitted it." He smiled at you, making your heart melt. "Same here." You just smiled at each other for a couple minutes before he asked "So since that is clear, can i kiss you again?" You giggled, nodding.

His lips were on yours again within seconds, moving against yours eagerly. His hands were on your waist while one of your hands moved up into his hair, fisting a couple strands, tugging slightly. He groaned at that, you taking the chance to slip your tongue past his lips. Your tongues danced together, his grip on your waist tightening. You moved to sit on his lap, making it easier to kiss him. His hands slowly went under your shirt and to your back. He didn't went further, not forcing you into anything as his hand caressed your skin, causing goosebumps to move down your spine. He must have felt that, smiling into the kiss.

You two were in your own little world of feeling and tasting each other, causing both of you to flinch hard when the door swung open "Y/N, have you seen B-" Steve stopped mid sentence, a grin forming on his face as he saw the scene infront of him. Both yours and Buckys face were completely red, his hands slowly moving out of your shirt. "I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see anything. You guys have fun. And use protection!" With that he left the room, laughing to himself, closing the door behind him. Bucky and you let out a nervous laugh. "Thank god it wasn't Sam. He probably would've yelled through the whole building what he saw." You joked, making him grin. "I wouldn't really care. Everyone can know that you're finally mine." You smiled brightly as his words, the idea of being his making your heart jump. "All yours." You agreed, leaning in to kiss him again.

A/N: I normally wanted to end it earlier, make it full angst with no happy ending for the reader BUT I COULDN'T so here you have a long ass imagine because I want people to be happy whoo