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piccolotiranno · 1 year

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#i have like more than 400 drafts #and most of them are reblogs from people giving their take on fandom discourse #which i was gonna throw my two cents in #but never did #what do i do with those posts now #they are good takes #i can't just delete them from my drafts #it's a waste #but on the other hand #some of those takes are not relevant anymore #and i'm not gonna ramble in the tags anyway #but it's a shame the discussion was not ebullient enough #i should've participated #but what do i do now

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butchfalin · 10 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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yaolmao · 5 months

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simp

#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE #my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life #this changes everything #I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on #anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing #I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat #ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing #like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems #I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk #chuuya nakahara #dazai Osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #myart #I’m gonna post and pass out now

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hinamie · 26 days

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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk art #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk leaks #these took so long i kept getting distracted cries #but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this #looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live #but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically #its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok #anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger #as fr the rest #megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half #i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one #b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well #c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely #gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out #also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile #in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late

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shepscapades · 3 months

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This file is named “Destruction BREAKDOWN” because of me. It’s me. I’m having the breakdown

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iiusia · 1 month

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i feel like this is a topic that needs more than just a tumblr post to fully expand on but. i think that in modern-day christian culture we place WAY too much emphasis on Feeling and Emotion . and i think that this attitude is part of the reason why the most common struggle you hear is "God isn't speaking to me/I can't hear God". feels like the standard set is that you're constantly feeling a Supernatural presence and it's Big and Obvious and it Shows and you can't contain it... when that's just not it. God can be quiet. God can nudge. God's voice is contained in the Bible that you hold between your hands. If you're not "hearing Him" then maybe your expectation of what hearing Him is is flawed.

#julia.txt #i cant explain it im not a theologian but like #the culture around worship.... around Feeling and Performing those feelings #the misuse of the Holy Spirit #the 'well if you're convicted then dont do it but if you're not its fine'#the 'do what feels right for you'#like no actually. we have God's will in written form #its not about What We Feel. its about what is Written #and sometimes even if something is not addressed explicitely word for word in the Bible #you can still very easily discern God's will about it #<- now this is an unrelated tangent #but you get what i mean #not to mention the whole speaking in tongues thing #faith posting #THE HEART IS WICKED AND DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS!!!

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revalito · 1 month

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of those we keep in the dark

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transjudas · 1 year

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One of the hardest things about watching LOTMS is seeing Gerard in crisis and seeing those around him who love him doing their best to look out for him. And the past year we’ve gotten to see that same love and support while they seem to be doing so much better coping with things even through the pandemic. Because no matter how you’re coping, having friends by your side there for you is everything. (x, x)

#i don't really gif those moments cause they're legit awful but this specific few seconds like... i think about it a lot #cause brushing the gravel and dirt off gerard's shirt is... in the grand scheme of things with what was happening... so little and inconsequ #ential #but it's something he could do at the time and it's gentle and he's there #and now 20 years later he's still there #and gerard is STILL HERE #and he can comfort him and support him and love him and he can see how he's recovered and grown and lived #ANYWAY THIS POST IS AN EXORCISM FOR ME #gerard way #frank iero #addiction cw #alcoholism cw #mcr #mcredit #lotms #my chemical romance

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nabaath-areng · 16 days

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I have this one "OC" that does not yet have a name that I've drawn several times for a couple years. I was thinking that if I tried making them in FFXIV that I'd use elezen as a base... but then I remembered what other race have their near exact hairstyle... and now I'm like damn... I played myself...

#idk if ill do anything with them but im saving the design. just in case.#perhaps the ffxiv setting is whats needed to gain an idea of who they are #as of now i havent even figured out their gender like are they male? female? both? its one of those but which? who knows. not me!#i think besides that i knew they were really tall. a magic user. and i was pondering on some italian name #... could work with the 13th i suppose hmmm.#anyway i have more character design ideas than i could ever hope to put to use! send help!!!#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #final fantasy 14 #roegadyn #hellsguard #gpose #ffxiv screenshot #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #i almost tagged edit but these are completely untouched #i tried but then id have to do all to be happy and make them match LMAO #nabaath-areng #my screenshot #i took soooo many screens but i feel like the post is already bloated yells #so these shall suffice. but please DO know that theyre painfully photogenic #and that practically every screenshot turned out super sexy

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heartorbit · 2 years

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i wanna make a prsk major arcana...

#[knows i wont fucking do that so i post the 1 rough i have instead] all in a days work #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #mizuki akiyama #i posted alternate palettes for this on twitter and i like one of theme way better but im too lazy to get it rn. Lol #i would like to do skecthes for them all but im like ..#um. i dont know snything about tarot so people who DO will see my card assignments and go wtf are they feeding this guy #hermit is easy. pjsk gave that right to me. justice meiko too.#ive decided to pull a revstar and do the 25 card visconti with kagamines in one card. so now i have to reassign with hope charity and faith #boohoo. however the sun emu and the moon mafuyu are staying i know what im about. also kohane with death and an with the lovers #those make me feel like a genius. the rest ill stay shy about. if i say all my assignments ill never feel the urge to draw them #sorry for scheduling these to post at 8am #proseka tarot

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merlins-strawberriesandroses · 1 month

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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens #BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS #WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS #(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct #IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different #like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs #ugh #he must have been TIRED do you hear me #even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but #she did seem sleepy #okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean #actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it #HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn #I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh #merlin #bbc merlin

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floweroflaurelin · 2 years

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🎶 The Crown…

Pix now wears the Crown… 🎶

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The moment of recognition when that ancient and powerful thing deep in the catacombs… discovers the Crown.

#empires smp #pixlriffs #empires smp fanart #pixlriffs fanart #empires fanart #empires pixlriffs #empiresblr #floweroflaurelin art #mcyt fanart #mcyt #mcytblr #gif #animated #aha! by making that post about not having time to make fanart I tricked you all into not expecting any #thus freeing myself from the pressure of feeling like I have to get fanart done for major story beats #and allowing me to have the motivation to procrastinate my thesis and make stuff for fun instead!#anyway this is the same crown design I did AGES ago but it’s all tarnished now #I’m so excited to have it back the way everyone covets it is so good #I mean THEE historian sees it and instead of preserving it he puts it on his head and comments on how well it fits??#he’s never had any interest in telling people what to do and then declares himself king and threatens those who disobey with ‘punishment’??#everyone who sees it is driven to do anything in their power to get it for themselves?#what does the Crown want. what does it get out of this. it is so very much a cursed object and I love it

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chiropteracupola · 4 months

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"Are you finished with my portrait yet? Show me!" "Cipacton, I can't draw you if you keep moving!"

#em draws stuff #em is posting about temeraire #temeraire #temeraire worldbuilding collection #⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬𐂂 #did you like those guys from the last picture? here they are again :)#at this point I feel like I should have be oc tagging five deer and cipachcoatzin just for organizational purposes #but if I don't then I can pretend I can stop drawing them...#<- He Has Ideas For At Least One More Picture and Other People And Dragons They Know #if you want to see what five deer is drawing then turn your eyeballs to my previous drawing of them!#after finishing that one I wanted to figure out what cipachcoatzin looked like outside of the super stylized depiction - here he is!#also lacking any other ideas I've decided that's his name now. my classical nahuatl is So So So Beginner but I'm Trying #(cipactli [caiman] + glottal stop + coatl [snake] + tzin [honorific suffix]...#...or cipactli [caiman] + ton [diminutive suffix you might use for a kid])#haven't come up with a personal name for five deer yet but what with naming other characters they'll interact with my abilities Do run out #so that can be a work in progress #pretty pleased with how this turned out especially cipachcoatzin's little obsidian mirror-ornaments #the background and color scheme is Heavily based on luis covarrubias' 'view of the valley of mexico'#but maybe I can manage some more urban settings for them or the other characters in future pictures

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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always enjoyed the Chess Set In The Foreground perspective framing used here

now also noting like, huh, a chess set in a general store just visited by marigold competitors who killed one of their guys and are now on the way back from their rendezvous point w/suppliers