#what do you *mean* i'm suddenly *the same age as the protagonists*?????

[sergeantjessi]

today i've rediscovered the fact that spencer reid is 24 (in the first season of criminal minds) and i am NO okay

[mybworlds]

Beyond the Walls

Pairing: Pero Tovar x f!reader (no Y/N)

Summary: You are a princess, you should act like a proper damsel, but you are not and you don't want to be. Luckily, you have an ally on your side.

Warnings: use of you, typical sexism, the main character has female features, but I don't describe her in detail, the image is only meant to represent the moment, nothing else. Fighting against the conventions of the time, the main character wears both women's and men's clothes. Tovar in this story is the protagonist's bodyguard and a knight. Violence graphic.

A/N: Okay, here I am, I woke up with this new idea and here it is. I don't know if I should make it a one-shot or a miniseries, if you want and like please let me know, you know I appreciate your comments.

You run, you urge your horse to increase his pace, you have to lose him. You stop for a moment, but then you think again and decide to cross the fields.

You will do it quicker.

The farmers are not at all enthusiastic about it, some snort as you pass by, others curse you. You smile, you feel so free and light on Callus. Even today you will arrive before him, a triumphant grin bends your lips upwards, you reach and pass the walls surrounding the castle when suddenly he appears in front of you, cutting you off and making your faithful steed rear up.

“I won, Princesa” says your bodyguard giving you a smirk and dismounting from his horse.

“Oh, fuck, that’s not fair!” you blurt out, getting off your stud. “You cheated!”

“Never.” he answers you by taking the reins of his horse and leading it to the stables, you do the same “I went through the main road, you wanted to cheat by going through the fields and destroying all the work of those poor people.”

You laugh, “Please, let’s do it again.”

“Qué? Do you want to destroy the fields again, my lady?” he teases you coming out of the stables.

“Of course not, Pero.” you say “But, you know how I feel when I run, when I'm free to ride a horse, when I can practice swordsmanship with you, when I can be who I really am.” you add.

A few moments later, your mother joins you. Pero kneels, you nod and say “Mother”.

She sighs and shakes her head, “What have you done to yourself, my daughter? Dressed like that, your hair tied up, your face dirty.” She puts on a disgusted expression, “You are a princess and you are a woman. You have some duties to fulfill and you can't afford such obscenities. Dressed as a man!” She tsks “Now go upstairs, I’ve already had a bath prepared for you.”

“You know how I feel!” you reply to what she said. “I want to be free.”

“Daughter,” she uses an annoyed tone “you know that certain liberties are not granted and that only your husband will do this later.”

“I don’t want to get married!” you exclaim while your mother widens her eyes in complete astonishment at your words “I don’t want an old gentleman deciding for me! I am a woman, it's true, but that doesn't mean I want to deprive myself of my life, my choices, my dreams.”

For your mother these are just whims dictated by your age, but according to her you will soon change your mind and indeed you will be happy to marry someone powerful who can give you everything you want and then give yourself the freedom you talk so much about.

What Tovar thinks matters only to you, for everyone he is just your most faithful bodyguard, he is just someone who keeps you safe, who prevents the worst from happening to you, but for each other you are much more than just any princess and her protector. No one knows and it's okay.

For Tovar, you are the bravest person he has ever met and he has met all kinds of people, but no woman has your courage and when you hold a sword you assume that expression so focused and proud that he can't help but feel a deep pride swelling in his chest, when you ride you are absolutely free and you get that expression of absolute bliss and he feels so lucky to still be in this world to enjoy such a spectacle.

You two spend a lot of time together and it was he who offered you that breath you longed for, that freedom that no one else had granted you and for this you are always eternally grateful to him.

Tovar believes that you should be the one to choose what to do with your life, but he also understands that in your case it is not as simple as it seems. So when you confide in him, Pero avoids telling you things like do what you want and run away because he knows you would be capable of it. He offers you long horseback rides on the beach, teaches you how to shoot a bow, has taught you how to use a sword, and on more than one occasion you have gone to the village in disguise. And you loved every single moment of what Pero showed you.

If there was some discomfort at first, now you are fine together. You are so fine that one afternoon when you were out in the woods and you were completely soaked after an accidental fall, Pero offered you his cloak and to thank him you stood on tiptoe to kiss him. Pero was so surprised that he looked you in the eyes for a long time as if to understand if it had been a casual gesture or if you were aware of what you had done. No uncertainty or disturbance changed your gaze, you knew what you were doing.

You have never gone beyond that, although you do not want to submit to certain constraints or duties, you have always and in any case preserved your virtue.

You meet his gaze, sigh and then you go up the main staircase followed by your lady-in-waiting.

“Tovar,” your mother says to the man, “you are an excellent knight and a valuable asset to our house,” the woman continues, “however, I believe you are being too accommodating to her.” She smiles faintly at the knight “I hope you wish to return to those ranks you agreed to honor, but if it were too much for you to do and you couldn't get her to respect you, well, that would mean we would be forced to deprive ourselves of your presence.” the man swallows, the woman is his lord's wife and if he were to be chased away from there too, his wandering would begin again and perhaps something even worse would happen to him. He decides to bite his tongue and simply nods and with a nod of his head takes his leave.

Your maids are supposed to wash your hair, your face, your body, but you dismiss them, asking to be left alone.

You want to be free, you want it so bad. You take a deep breath and then go down into the tub full of rose petals. Everyone — your family — wants to remind you of who you are and where you belong, but your indomitable spirit won’t give up, not like this.

You emerge and decide to fight. You know you won't be alone. You can always count on Pero Tovar.

You dress in a cream-colored tunic, you are determined to go to him, but without wanting to, when you pass in front of the library, you glimpse a light and then hear footsteps: you stop and strain your ears, you open the door slightly and see one of your father's most trusted men and another man you've never seen before, They are apparently not doing anything wrong, but it's the manner and tone that you don't like. They have something in their hands, it's shiny and when you realize what it is, you jump, making a guttural noise that makes you step back and slam into a suit of armor worn long, long ago by your father.

The noise attracts the attention of the two and almost immediately they are at the door, you take another step back, “What are you waiting for?! Kill her!” shouts your father's advisor to the other who he points the gun at you.

Your eyes widen in shock, just then something whistles through the air, then something fast passes in front of you and this movement is followed by a cry of pain. Your attacker lost a hand, chopped off by an axe. You and the councilor turn and see Tovar standing at the beginning of the corridor, you take advantage of that moment of confusion to run to him and take refuge behind him.

Following this event, the castle seems to wake up all at once, excited voices seem to come from every corner.

“Come away, Princesa,” Tovar tells you trying to get you to walk away, but you stare at the other man and are about to tell him that you're going to tell your father what happened and that he won't get away with it, but then the unthinkable happens: two guards appear across the corridor and the counselor shouts “Get them, they were plottin’ something with this man and then they killed him.”

“That's not true!” you try to say, but you know the strong influence that man has on everyone, especially your father. He would be able to say anything and everyone would believe him.

“Run, Princesa, come!” Tovar shouts, dragging you down the stairs with him. You barely have time to leave the castle because they close the gates. When you're apart you look back and for the first time you realize that you're beyond the walls and you're wanted.

You don't know what will happen to your life, your future, your dreams, or your freedom, you just know that the only one who will always be by your side will be your tireless bodyguard, teacher and friend, Pero Tovar.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

No, no, I'm still upset about those book reviews on what I have since decided is one of my favourite books.

"The main character wasn't relatable" OH. GODS. What are you doing? Are you the main character of every single story ever? NO. Also maybe the story isn't for you! That's okay! That doesn't mean the book is bad! As a kid around the same age as the protagonist who also moved into an old, run-down house of all things that I could have never imagined as home, who got a small baby sibling at around that time as well, as a kid who was relatively quiet and thought too much and wanted to fly that book made me feel things I'd literally never felt before!!

"The girl is so weird that's annoying" CHILDREN ARE WEIRD!! CHILDREN! AND! CHARACTERS! CAN! BE! WEIRD! Bloody hell in what kind of world are you living?? A strong and weird and confident girl character was the best thing to happen to me! Sometimes I thought she was really annoying as well, yeah, but that's kind of the point and I did kinda want to be like her. She was so important to my array of fantasy book girl characters I could relate to and hold in mind!!

"It's not a children's book" to YOU. It's not a typical one and certainly not a mainstream one but man child me had her brain rewritten for the first time and it was glorious. She devoured that book and I'm sure so did other weird kids.

Gods. It was the first book ending with me unsure if I liked it but glad I read it. It made me feel things I'd never felt before, especially not from a book. I don't think I consciously saw myself in the protagonist back then but I'm pretty sure that was so so important. Ten years of me having grown totally oblivious of the book and suddenly it comes back unprompted and clear as day (and I got my own copy and I'm sure I adore it).

And like. Those reviews arw so sad especially because they were the majority on that site! And it's no book for everyone, but the framing that this is the book's fault makes me livid. Your protagonist-to-identify-with issues aside, maybe the book just wasn't for you! BUT THEN DON'T LEAVE A MULTIPLE PARAGRAPH COMPLAINT ABOUT ALL THE THINGS POSSIBLY INTENDED FOR A DIFFERENT AUDIENCE. That made me so sad.

Anyway. We need more ambiguously not-happy-but-not-NOT-happy children's media starring objectively weird and annoying kids and thoughtful kids who feel lost in the world and unsolved mysteries that aren't meant to be known.

(The book is Skellig by David Almond, by the way.)

[ragecndybars]

Ryoji hcs? >:3 he's a lil guy

>:3 just a little guy. we spend so little time with ryoji 😔 but that just leaves more room for imagination <3

Nonbinary Ryoji. This is a hill I will die on. Ryoji and Aigis have the exact same gender vibes to me -- 99% of the time, they just go along with their supposed binary genders, because they like presenting as masc and femme, respectively, but if someone actually calls them male or female, then suddenly they're like 😐 "Yeah... no." Ryoji says "I'm not a boy, I'm Death." in the exact same matter-of-fact way that Aigis says "I am not a girl, I am an Anti-Shadow Weapon."

The reason he gets along with Junpei so well is that, while he may not remember it at first, his whole perception of what it is to be "human" (or, more specifically, to be a high school kid) comes from the protagonist's perceptions... and their best friend is Junpei, so Junpei's whole idea of "the best friend ever" is literally just Junpei. And he wants to be the best friend ever too!!! So basically, his personality is based around his idea of what a friend is, and his desire to be Friend.

I think he also retained a lot of knowledge that the protagonist learned before they split apart, even if he doesn't specifically remember learning it. And, since I headcanon the protagonists as being very extensive databases of esoteric knowledge (specifically on the topics of music, the occult, and weapons in Minato's case/martial arts in Kotone's)... this also means that Ryoji can pop out completely random facts out of nowhere and even he doesn't know where he learned them.

Like, he and Junpei walk past the antique store in the mall and Junpei is like "Dude, look at that old-looking lute," and Ryoji is like "Common mistake, but that's actually a rebec; it's Arabic in origin and was historically quite popular in the Ottoman Empire :)" and Junpei is like "Oh, I didn't realize you were that into instruments, dude," and Ryoji is like, "I'm not! I just Know that :)"

One thing he doesn't get from the protagonist is his fondness for paintings. He can't put it into words, but he can marvel at just one painting in a gallery for ages. It's one of the only times when he can sit still without getting a little restless, lmao.

This headcanon is stolen from a fic that I wasn't able to find to link in this post (I'll add it in the replies or something once I find it!), but you know how Ryoji fully thought that he was just a normal human despite having no memory? Yeah, he was sleeping on the streets. He didn't even fully register that he was homeless -- or what it even meant that he was homeless. He just knew that he had nowhere to go (although he didn't have the context to consider that weird or scary; it was just a neutral fact to him), so he slept on benches or behind the station.

For a normal teenage boy, of course, that would be dangerous -- we've seen that even Shinji didn't have it easy on the streets -- but, every time that some wannabee delinquent took a swing at Ryoji, they broke their entire hand and arm on him, so they learned to leave him alone pretty quick. This was another thing that he didn't have the context to think of as odd.

He may be more or less indestructible in battle, but he is actually very wimpy when it comes to physical activity (same, Ryoji, lmao). He is absolutely right there with Junpei whining when they have to do a long run at school, or doubling over to put his hands on his knees after being forced to sprint short distances. (And then Junpei goes and gets all buff when he gets really serious about SEES and Ryoji is left alone in his Complaining Club with Kenji, lmao)

[weebsinstash]

No but deadass the protagonist is trying to escape by literally jumping out a window, she doesn't want to do this that badly, and her wolf is STILL whimpering inside of her, "no, I don't want to 🥺"

maybe I'm just built different but like, the werewolves don't always have their wolves from birth, so maybe it's just me that finds it kind of fucked up that they live a decent number of years and forming their own identity and then the wolves come along and, suddenly the human is supposed to just COMPROMISE autonomy with something else? "Oh yeah depending on the story I'm either 12 or 13 or 16 or 18 but yeah let me SUDDENLY GIVE UP CONTROL OF MY BODY AND MY LIFE"

And I understand it's presented as, "the wolf is like you, it's a part of you, what it wants is usually what you want" but like, no, that's what they want to ACT like it means, but, these wolves just straight up do shit their humans beg them not to do. And depending on the story, the wolves are, just, STUPID? Like sometimes the wolves are like "oh my gosh our mate is a hottie, we are SO lucky queen" and other times they're like "we need mate, mate protect pups, it is fate, moon goddess has decided" so like, imagine having a perfectly fucking valid reason to hate someone and you get bodyjacked by essentially something that is too primal and lower intelligence to even GRASP OR CARE about the nuances of why you're upset and how you have been wronged and even occasionally telling you "humans are stupid and complicated" or shit like that

(I made the mistake of still listening and yeah, he literally caught her as she was running away and marked her by force and she's just expected to be chill with this 😔 he barely even feels bad and he mostly just rushed all this because. He was jealous of another dude being friendly to her and wanted to claim her before anyone else did first. What a scumbag.)

Absolutely dying to write a story with a Reader who is a werewolf but absolutely hates their entire society and culture or just, these little traditions they wind up witnessing. They're forced to attend a customary ceremony where a pair are claiming each other and you're rolling your eyes because you know the girl absolutely hated the guy before the mate bond kicked in. The pack Alpha is hosting a speech and you aren't absolutely on your knees worshipping the ground like some of your fellow pack mates, not feeling this primal loyalty and connection the rest of them do. Just you being brought into the pack and within the same week asking "so I can still go back home though right?" And just being so unapologetically vocal about how much you hate all of this

I also just. Have been addicted to stories where it's like "you rejected and abused me when I was weak so now that I'm gifted and strong you'll either feel my apathy or my wrath" so, the specific idea I keep having is, Reader is a werewolf with an absolutely massive fear of dogs/wolves (your parents were attacked and killed by rogue wolves when you were small and you've been raised human) so when you finally get tracked down and brought back to your family's original pack from before they had been living in the human world, you don't want anything to do with anyone, any pack events, any ceremonies, anything, but you're still a kid and get dragged around anyways, and I can imagine Reader just, never shifting when the coming of age hits, maybe even outright begging the moon goddess not to be given a wolf. And then the next year. And then the next. And you start becoming an even bigger outcast than you already were because now you're the werewolf without a wolf, missing all the little celebrations all the other kids your age get, not getting to form a pack link, or not taking the official ceremony to become an actual member in rank and name. You're beginning to hit young adulthood as all the elders treat you with disdain or indifference since you're weaker and can't contribute, if they don't outright think you're cursed. You get bullied, and people either join in or do nothing to stop or admonish it. Anyone who's nice to you doesn't when matter because they're drowned out by all the rest.

One day Reader's basically officially declared the intent to leave the pack and go back to living in the human world, and maybe it's a mixed bag of "good riddance" and "wait what? 🥺 but werewolves are super social and emotional, you can't leave, you belong in a pack, also its safer for you" (maybe even a bully or two of yours actually doesnt want you to leave after all) and you just unapologetically have no interest in staying. And years later it turns out, you had either had your first shift in secret all along, or you shifted after leaving the pack but essentially decided, you never wanted to be there anyways, and it turns out the "weak little wolfless loser" they all mistreated turns out to be, something cliche like a white wolf or a healer or something, and you've got wolves tracking you down like "wow this is so exciting to have a white wolf in our pack :) we'll be so much stronger and have so much more respect now" and you just laugh like "you think I'm coming back just because i have a wolf now?" *proceeds to slam the door in their faces while laughing*

[naivesilver]

Crowsourced ideas for the EAH/OUAT crossover because I can't get it out of my fucking head apparently and I need to write them all down in a single place

Apple -> takes the place of baby Neal as Snow and Charming's second child, exacerbating Emma's bitterness because like, if you're a bit jealous that your parents are raising and doting on a baby like they couldn't go to you, that feeling must multiplicate tenfold if said baby is a little girl with blonde hair

Raven -> Regina's baby with Robin. Implies that Cora never dosed her daughter with an infertility spell and also that the whole Zelena pregnancy shebang was avoided somehow PLEASE I need this for my sanity. Has magic blood but ON GOD, Regina will bash Rumple on the head if he comes near her kid with weird power-teaching ideas

(when I made the first post about this I completely forgot that Sparrow Hood is a guy that exists in EAH, but it's fine, we can pretend he doesn't OR Regina can have twins - Raven and Sparrow are names that go so well together, after all! And the prospect is hysterical! Surely nothing could go wrong with those two in the same nursery!!!!!)

Ruby and Dorothy were implied to do some travelling together in the show, right? Maybe they could find the remains of a wolf pack like that of Ruby's mother, except all that's left is VERY mistrustful wolfblood young sisters Ramona and Cerise in severe need for adult intervention. Time for Red Kansas to become chaos moms and break some walls the girls have built, I guess

if Jefferson already has one daughter, there is no reason why he couldn't have TWO daughters! Enter Madeline/Maddie, AKA Grace's mad (honorific) little sis

Cinderella is already called Ashley in OUAT so I'd be loath to keep her daughter as Ashlynn but...Lynney? Lynette? Something? Anyway, a glorified Alexandra LMAO same for Hunter, though - for one, where would Graham get a son, and for two, would he name that son Hunter? Nope. Definitely not. Needs workshopping

other kids I have floating around are Briar (but Aurora is already pregnant in canon so whatever that's easy), Crystal (technically as the daughter of the Snow Queen she should come from Elsa or Ingrid's line, but that doesn't sound likely...maybe Anna and Kristoff instead?), Alistair Wonderland (probably Alice and Cyrus' offspring, but that would mean not interacting much with the rest of the crew), Lizzie Hearts (Cora has no right to a third daughter, so what's the closest thing to the Queen of Hearts? Anastasia the Red Queen? Idk??????) etc etc

and now the actual protagonist in my heart, Cedar Booth Wood

so because of Jojo's intervention, her backstory is established as such: she's the result of one of August's pre-canon flings that ends up in Storybrooke when she's quite young. That narrows the window of time where she could have been conceived before her dad was either wooden/a third grader/being a whole dumbass, but I wanted her to be about the same age as her friends and that means keeping her at about 5yo upon her arrival (timelines are wonky because OUAT's timeline IS wonky, but hardly anybody will even read so far, so ssssssh)

August is her nearest relation available, so that's why he gets a handful of child so suddenly. He is...a bit in shock, but he ends up loving her once the surprise wears off. Marco is OVER THE MOON because it's free granddaughter. Archie is just begging that at least ONE member of their family has a kid in a plain, normal way at some point in the future

then the angst kicks in because it turns out daddy's enchanted tree genes are just a little too strong and they resurface quite vehemently once Cedar steps foot in Storybrooke. Maybe she starts turning into wood, or has an averse reaction to lies, or both, I don't know I'd love it to be both, but I'm scared that I will get yelled at for torturing this child any further

the central point is - I was discussing this topic with @bewilderedmoth the other night and she had a STRONG hand in helping me reach the conclusion that a) this is probably the Blue Fairy's fault, so fuck her b) since Cedar is so young in this AU not only would August be desperate that she gets...cured? Un-cursed? Something, but he'd also realize that...shit. He wasn't much older than her when he got thrown into his personal hellscape. That's fucked up. Who thought it could be a healthy learning experience (see point a)? Unhand his kiddo RIGHT NOW or so help him

finally, this unreasonably funny concept from yours truly, to send you off on a lighter note

[girl4music]

The character that doesn’t understand human emotion yet is always asking questions so that she can learn. Ironically and satisfyingly, her constant inquisitiveness always made her seem much more human than any character that always was human.

That was always played for laughs until it wasn’t.

WILLOW: “Because it’s not okay for you to be asking these things!”

ANYA: “But I don’t understand!”

So it’s like, in a way, she understood being human better than anyone else did. And that was so clever!

Because with being human there is no answer book to how to live like one. There is only ever constant questions. And navigating is hard. That’s the point.

And it’s always the “non-human” or “not-always-human” protagonist characters that actually act the most human because they’re not hardwired to.

No, of course they don’t understand being a human. But in the same way a baby doesn’t understand being a baby… yet performs like a baby anyway. It’s wisdom! The thing that comes most naturally never needs to be “understood”. It just is instinctively.

The joke is that non-human beings don’t understand being human. But isn’t THAT exactly what makes them perform as human? As supernatural beings, isn’t the understanding of not understanding humanity fundamentally what makes them be human? If they weren’t aware to it,… sure. Then you have an argument that they aren’t or can’t be human. But what if they’re the most self-aware characters? And not only aware of themselves but others as well?

That’s why both Spike and Anya, and yes, even to some degree, Angel are the most human non-human or not-always-human being characters. Because they carry the intuitive wisdom of “I know that I know nothing”. The very same intuitive wisdom a newborn baby has despite all their years and all their experienced history as human and non-human. They understand nothing, That’s precisely the point because at what point does nature understand itself? It doesn’t. Yet it functions perfectly fine anyway. It’s only humanity that thinks and believes that it MUST understand everything. But if they let go, they’d realize that they already do in the way that they always will. By just simply fucking existing. By being as they are. This is partially why I believe identity to be a hinderance more than it is a help. People get too caught up in it. And suddenly it becomes about performing an identity rather than actually being it.

Nature worries about no such nonsense as that. It doesn’t even identify that it NEEDS to worry about it. And like I said - that’s why it functions perfectly fine anyway. There’s no need to be performative.

Anya is most human because she is most naturally being. And part of naturally being is to ask stupid questions and to do the most absurd. To NOT UNDERSTAND everything. Least of all how to behave human when you’ve all but forgotten you once were and only coming to experience humanity again when you’re no longer human. Anya is never in a place or time where it’s easy or simple to be human. That’s why she’s the best at being human.

Suave Xander put it best in ‘The Replacement’.

XANDER: “You haven't been hurt like this since you became human. Maybe it's finally hitting you what being human means.”

ANYA: “No, that's not it.”

XANDER: “Yes, I think it is. You were gonna live for thousands of years. And now you're gonna age and die. That must be terrifying.”

FAITH VICTORIA: “Exactly! The world has always met Anya with "you don't understand" right from her original human life, and Anya has always responded with "so? Explain it to me." One of the only reasons I'm ok with Hells Bells existing is because it leads to in my opinion the second best Anya character study, and her only central episode, Sefless (her first best one is obviously her speech in The Body). Selfless shows that even when she was a human, before, Anya was naturally curious. She didn't understand a lot of the injustice in the world, but she was ready to try and understand it, only nobody explained it to her "take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river". I mean the girl figures out what selfless love and sacrifice are all on her own with no one's help - Xander is busy arguing with Buffy and Willow, Buffy is clearly exhausted and just wants to eliminate the problem, and Willow tries to reach out but using only her own experience which may not be applicable to Anya. But still, a vengeance demon understood the importance of selfless love, even after getting her heart broken. Which makes her one of the most deeply human characters of them all.”

Couldn’t have put it better. Absolutely agreed. 👍

I think a philosophical debate about what it means to be human in a TV show is a profound choice to make. But what is equally just as, or maybe even more, profound is to show how it is. Theory is great but it doesn’t work alone.

Showing it alongside saying it is what provides a far harder impact. It really hits! And ‘Selfless’ is one of the best episodes in the show, never mind just Season 7. Sadly, the rest of the season lets it down because it doesn’t follow it up with a satisfying conclusive end. Anya has a revelation that fighting like a human is what makes humanity great and worth it. But we never see how she even gets to this revelation.

It’s a shame. I don’t like tell and don’t show types of storytelling. I almost always prefer show alone or show equally alongside tell.

FAITH VICTORIA: “Instead they give her the worst speech of the entire show in Empty Places and then one of the best ones two episodes later "when it's something that really matters, they fight." Confusing to say the least.”

Please don’t get me started on ‘Empty Places’. I’ll be here all fucking day and I have a game to complete.

[lokislytherin]

hello again it’s me, the One who misses Jaeyeol LOL

thanks for answering my rant ask and i don’t mind if you rant back at me 😂 it feels good, like i’m not just talking to myself in my head but to a friend who feels the same way as i do.

like YES PTJ i love some of the new characters introduced like johan and samuel but with all these new characters added into the story, it’s like the old cast got thrown away (minus zack and vasco etc because they’re always in the mix for some reason, AND NOT JAY ahem i shall rein myself back for some semblance of sanity lol) and i’m like.. why so many characters man? UGH.

ALSO ALSO ALSO what’s with all these middle aged looking characters suddenly entering the scene with a [name] and [age] AND THEY DON’T EVEN LOOK THEIR AGE LIKE

new middle age looking man: blah blah

[name] [16] LIKE BITCH WHAT DO U MEAN THAT GUY’S 16??? HE LOOKS MORE LIKE A 40 TO ME LOL i feel like ptj just gave up making the characters look their age because these ppl definitely do not look 16, 17, etc. or did he even try in the first place? anyway

like this story just became all about gangs at the point where i stopped lol like what happened to his convenience store job (i guess he quit once he entered workers? maybe i missed that part), what happened to the mom visiting every so often (like wouldn’t she worry about her son when he disappeared god knows where?), what happened to attending school during the back end portion? WHERE ARE THE PARENTS/ADULTS? this is like tokyo revengers all over again 😂 idk.. i just wish that it didn’t have to be all about gangs? like i’m fine with the hostel and god dogs portion but after that it’s like i couldn’t give a shit anymore 🥲 and daniel doesn’t even seem like himself anymore 😭 i miss when all he had to care about was making friends, memories and letting his mom live a good life…

i wish ptj just kept it simple with a few gangs, having to keep the secret about having 2 bodies, why crystal has 2 bodies as well, normal school activities/relationships (i keep fantasising about a chapter with them playing some king’s card game where the person who draws the king card can do anything/order anyone to do anything they wanted for a turn like that Baka to Test episode, man that was hilarious LOL like if joy got picked as the king and she would probably have done something to daniel and jay had to step in HAHAHA oop my shipper is showing) and it would have still been a great series. now it feels all muddled 😩

yeah.. oh yes please let me join your prayers circle!!! PTJ U MUST BRING JAY BACK AND GIVE HIM THE ARC AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HE DESERVES!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER REST UNTIL U DO!!!! 😤😤😤

good timezones anon who misses jay! i'm glad you find these convos fun hehe i only have one single friend who Gets lookism to talk to so this is really nice for me too

new characters: i think one of the reasons why characters like johan and samuel are so popular are bc they have a backstory that's actually fleshed out really well? like even jake and big deal they had like a redemption/backstory arc (personally i like jake more than samuel tho. i want to punch samuel but his tits would probably break my fists) and i think that's why they're liked more than new characters like, for example, ryuhei. personally i think ryuhei is decent looking but idgaf about him yk.

the age thing: YOU'RE SO RIGHT like no way samuel is 19?? no way that bitch is only one year older than me AT MOST. or maybe he's got the daddy energy coz he's tall, is The fanservice character at this point, and has muscles n big booba. still wanna punch him tho. the ogs being 16/17 international age i can believe, and the anime also made them look younger in a way? especially duke i miss that funky lil guy. i hope his music career is going well

all about gangs: i see what you mean but this is also Animanga Logic right. adults are kinda irrelevant if you're the overpowered protagonist but at the same time i get u honestly i feel like jay's own father has more plot relevance than him at this point 💀 jay vs h group arc WHERE. jay and crystal interaction WHERE. their parallel could be so interesting but i'm not getting into that today i'll like. explore it in a fic or something

plot: i think to us it feels like ptj kinda lost sight of the meaning of 'lookism' in relation to the plot, but i'm sure ptj knows where he's going with the plot, and i trust him to give us more good chapters. for now us jay hong stans are gonna have to make content to feed each other

welcome to the jay return arc prayer circle

ptj if you won't give jay the backstory and character development arc he deserves i'll do it myself 😤 i'll catch up to canon and write that jay vs h group arc myself 😤

hope this helped!

[felassanis]

"Small" checklist of things I want in Dragon Age 4:

Better hairstyles is obvious

Better looking armour is also obvious. Give me more variety other than "shitty trench coat a school shooter would wear"

A Varric romance. If this is going to be the last game he appears I do not see why you can't throw the dwarf lovers a bone Bioware

Combat similar to Dragon Age 2. I prefer button mashing and getting to whack enemies with my staff than holding trigger while a boring animation plays.

Put Kieran in the plot, he has so much potential. Or at least some kind of revisit to Flemeth taking in the Archdemon soul or what it means that Solas may have that very soul too. Just something with the Archdemon we fought in DAO.

Let us wear Antivan Crow armour.

Please pay homage to the background we pick in character creation. I really don't want another instance of Lavellan suddenly going brain dead when visiting and ancient elven ruin and suddenly having amnesia about their culture and history. Make the world react to our race. Make characters make comments about our class. If our elven protagonist goes to an alienage, don't have them be utterly oblivious to the squalor most elves live in. Because they would be AWARE.

An update from our Warden. I don't really expect the warden to make an appearance because that is insanely tricky. But another letter, or a character updating us on where they are at. Like say, if Zevran makes an appearance in da4 and he was romanced, have him explain if the Warden has gotten any closer to curing the Taint.

Piercing options in the character creation.

A resolution on Anders.

Honestly you know what would be sick but also unlikely but I'm gonna put it here anyway NAVAL EXPLORATION AND COMBAT. I see some concept art featuring what looks like underwater exploration and it reminded me of Black Flag. And if Isabela is back, then it can be her ship we explore by.

More demonisation of the Chantry. Inquisition, as much as I do like that game, leaves such a sour taste in my mouth over the attitude towards the Chantry. It is a powerhouse of abuse and hatred. an instigator of genocide and cultural appropriation and for it to be treated like a sick puppy that just needs to go to the vet is terrible. Going to Tevinter, somewhere that just disregards the Chantry, should offer an environment where we can finally explore how bad the chantry is.

Blood magic specialisation and more exploration towards its positive uses.

Antivan Crow origin.

Divinity Original 2 mechanic where magic and bombs can inflict elements onto the environment. So like, if you make it rain and then cast an ice based power. The puddles will turn to ice and make enemies slip. Spicing up combat.

Also divinity original sin 2 mechanic where you can romance anyone because your idea of attractive might not be same as your player's. because Fane was the best romance and you nearly skipped out on Solas being an option so....can't really trust you to decide who we can and can't romance.

For Dwarven players. Make the camera cut half their face off its so funny.

Speaking of dwarven players please try and work with propertions. Even if that's making new animations for love interests to bend down or pick up their dwarven lover during kiss scenes. Believe me the game will look better for it and your fans will appreciate it when their small dwarf doesn't suddenly GROW.

Also, more romance scenes in general? Idk it feels like such a drag when you wanna romance a character but across 40+ hours of gameplay you only have 3 romantic cutscenes.

More personality. The Inquisitior was so wooden and I would love a system like the blue, purple, red dialogue wheel to make a come back because as simple as it was IT WORKED. Hawke felt alive especially purple. And have companions COMMENT on your disposition. Have serious characters call you an arsehole or hide their smiles when your character is being snarky.

[goofyhoffy]

Chapter 1

Fanfiction : My First Kiss 'just a kiss'

Genre : best friend to enemies to lovers! Roommates au! Classmates au! Romcom.

Pairings : Taehyung × reader

Series: a drabble fanfiction of 3 sets.

Word count : 2.9 k

Summary : you shifted to a new city for your best friend Taehyung. He's your bestie since birth. You admitted to his school where you find life difficult. Taehyung being a fuckboi and you being is bestie he shares everything with you even his sex life and moves. But your character is far more different from him. You always looked for your comfort person. You dreamt of spending time with your future partners. Summary : you shifted to a new city for your best friend Taehyung. He's your bestie since birth. You admitted to his school where you find life difficult. Taehyung being a fuckboi and you being is bestie he shares everything with you even his sex life and moves. But your character is far more different from him. You always looked for your comfort person. You dreamt of spending time with your future partners. Even you're in high school you haven't kissed anyone as you want to secure your first kiss for your special one. What happened when Taehyung seized the chance from you of your first romantic kiss! you're in high school you haven't kissed anyone as you want to secure your first kiss for your special one. What happened when Taehyung seized the chance from you of your first romantic kiss!

Warnings : fuckboi, bestie bad words, private talks, best friend sharing sex life, abusing, angst, misunderstanding, bullying, kissing, smut, fluff, explicit, student life, dirty talks, wet dreams, hitting on, making out, Dom,sub, yandere.

Author note: here you go again, I loves writing this fic as it's have Loads of dirty talks we shared with our bestie, so just enjoy and read. Tell me your opinions then.

Chapter 2 ∆ CHAPTER 3

MASTERLIST

(๑♡⌓♡๑) (๑♡⌓♡๑) (๑♡⌓♡๑) (๑♡⌓♡๑)

Sitting on your couch you were unfolding the clothes you took from home last weekends. The purple frill short dress of your sister is now yours as she already left for her higher studies at aboard. You were  happy but missing your family a bit more these days cause you were new in this high school where only friends of yours is Taehyung. The dumb. Your bestie since ages.

Yesterday, you came back from your hometown Daegu to Seoul for the studies. Or you can say to help your best friend Tae in his studies. As his mother forced you to stay with Tae in Seoul because of his poor academic performance. You're not so happy staying in Seoul leaving your family far miles away. But only for your bestie you were there. The last high school year you were gonna spent with Taehyung. You haven't met him since so long but he was the only one you keep on texting, calling every day when you both live far away from each other.

Here the academic things are quite different. Taehyung was helping you in all of that. He was so happy that you were accompanying him there. Living with eachother was both of your childhood dreams and now it's fulfilling. You and him live in his two storey building. You were on the ground floor and he was on the top. You were stressed but happy that Tae was still the same here. Nothing between you two have changed. He still baby care you like he used to during middle school. You were on the random thoughts of memories.

Suddenly someone patted from the back and you looked "Tae how are you?" He hugged you.

"You already home? I missed you." Tae replied.

"Yes, I'm. Unfortunately only for you here. By the way where were you?" You asked.

"Umm... Just Making out!" Taehyung sighed

"You're life is cool. Making out with Seulgi your girlfriend as much as you want." You smirked.

"Wait, no. I'm not making out with her. Apart from that also Seulgi is just my contract girlfriend. We have nothing like that stuff. We didn't even kiss. Soon our contract being a couple will end. Understood!" He scoffs

"I know. Then whom did you make out with?" You asked.

"Umm... Uhh.. actually I don't her name. But she's also new student in our school like you. But she's junior. But  tomorrow I will ask her name!" Tae frowned .

"You're such a dick. Didn't even know her name. Only God can save you." You eyed.

"I'm an angel. Huh. She's the one kissed me first. I just kissed back. But her plump red lips taste like watermelon. God I want to kiss her again." Tae excitedly said.

"Stop. Maybe she use watermelon taste Chapstick. You never know." You chuckled.

"Whatever she uses is delicious. But she bite me in my lower lips so hard. It got redness and swell so much. See." He point out his lips to you.

"Aha! My poor baby got hurt. Use my lip serum or else it will get lump, you stupid." You handed over him your lip serum.

"Don't call me your baby tomorrow at school please. I'm the most popular here. Only your baby bestie at home." Tae smiled.

"Well, I got something to tease you. Baby bestie." You giggled.

"Stop now." Tae frowned.

You chuckled and put the clothes on your shelfs. And arrange your study desk. While you're doing all this Taehyung was sitting there and looking at you all the way. He was looking at your long dark hairs, pale fingers, thin postures and your beautiful small face. After completely setting up all the necessary changes you sit at the couch.

"You have changed a lot. Huh!" Tae asked.

"Me? Why!" You eyed him.

"I mean.. nothing. It's just when I saw you two years ago at our hometown you're so different. Now, everything about you changed. You're not my lil baby bestie anymore." Tae sighed.

"Shut up. I'm still your baby bestie for ages. Might be I'm little more glowing here. You know good looks matters." You smirked.

"Yeah, good looks. You got so much prettier. Now you have curves and boobs-" you cut him off.

"Of course. Got so much wiser too. I'm not 16 anymore. I'm a 18 year old girl with beauty." You said proudly.

"Leave that. You have packed your bag for tomorrow school?" He asked

"Yeah. Pretty much. You've plan for tonight?" You pinned.

"Umm... Yeah. If you're asking me to stay then I can actually. What's your plan? You probably should sleep!" Tae said.

"No, I'm just gonna watch something. You're good to go but remember your mother send me here to look after you. So, don't be late or either I will call Mrs. Kim aunt." You glanced.

"Okay, okay. Don't be so demanding. I'll be back at midnight after clubbing. You can do whatever you want in this home. With whoever you want-"

"Wait. What?"

"Sorry, my mistake. You're single. No one is there to do any fun with you. Poor _____, you can probably drink milk and sleep." Tae laughed so hard.

"You! Fucking Kid. I'll kill you.  Stop." I screamed.

"Catch me if you can. Meet you at the morning. Byee." Taehyung said as he gone for clubbing.

You're sitting there getting bored so you watched some shows. Watching webseries is a whole mood. Romantic movies and your imagination for your loves one just increases. You were still searching for that special one who can get you butterflies in your stomach. The show was on climax where the protagonist gonna kiss his lady love. But suddenly you heard someone open the living room's door.

"You're watching porn?" Someone screamed after slamming the door. You can't see cause it's dark in the room and only the television screen light makes the person slightly visible. But you recognized the voice. It's Taehyung.

"What the fuck! You scared me asshole." You screamed.

"What's are you watching, is it porn? I haven't expected that from you."  Taehyung sighed.

"Shut up, you ruined my moment. They're gonna share their first kiss. You know how much first kiss mean actually?" You gritted.

"First kiss! Lol! Is there something you should highlight like first kiss?" Taehyung eyed annoyingly.

"Yess! Fucking yes! You don't know how much first kiss mean for everyone. Most importantly for me. I want to share my kiss to my favourite, trustworthy and love of life. I have huge dreams for my first kiss." You explained.

"Ugh! I never thought about like this. My first kiss was... Um.. uh.. I don't even remember who it was! And you're still dreaming for your first kiss?" Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"Is dreaming is prohibited here? If no then shut up. I live in hope and imagination. One day, at the sunset into the sea shore, me and my love gonna share ourselves." You smiled.

"Ew. It's so cringe,______. Your lips gonna die virgin. You get it." Taehyung arrogantly said.

"What's so ever. But you're so early at home? Any special reason or were you missing me?" You asked giggling.

"Ah! That girl. She's the worst. I mean she runied my whole mood. She didn't even know how to moan." Taehyung sighed.

"I see. You were making out again and she wasn't good at it.?" You asked.

"No,she was good but she didn't moaning my name. That's the thing. Moaning is important." Taehyung said.

"Why? You want to hear her screams? Ew." You chuckled.

"It's the best thing. The pleasure in hearing your name when you're getting pleasure is insane. But she's just so silent. That's so important. That motivates me to go hard you know." Taehyung gritted.

"Well, you're just overreacting and nothing. How even moaning matters if anyone is good.!" You yawned.

"Huh. You will not get it. You still are a huge Virgin. Moreover your lips are too virgin. You have such a sad life,_____" Taehyung chuckled.

"I'm not like you. The one who got my lips will be special. Huh." You exclaimed.

A deep silence between two of you turned. Taehyung gazed on your orange plump lips with his pointed eyes. And then he smirked.

"How your lips will taste?" Taehyung smirked.

"Umm.. stop your flirting skills at me. You dickhead." You growned.

"Just kidding. I know it will taste like your peach Chapstick. I used it infinity of times. So I don't need to know." Taehyung chuckled.

"Now, go upstairs and sleep. Tomorrow it's my first day of school. I don't know how the kids gonna treat me there. I'm worried." You sighed.

"Don't worry, I always got your back,____" he pinched your cheeks.

"Thanks for always. Good night, bye. Sleep well, baby Kook." You wished him and went to your bedroom and slept.

Walking down the streets for the school. You looked at Tae , he was playfully kicking the rock across the road and he seems really happy. But on the side, you're super nervous for your first day of school. The hands keeps getting wet of sweat. You again remembered if you have take all your books and stationary in place. You dressed well and you look great as a high school kid. You keep on calculating things you need to tell others to befriend with them. And finally with handful of step counting you arrived on the front gate of your new school. It was huge, big then your previous school. Paintings, article and quotes all over the wall. The names of the top grade student at the board. You were excited to go inside and explore more but your nervousness can be seen.

"____,you look so nervous. Don't worry. I'm here. Student are quite friendly. You gonna love this place. Trust me." Taehyung smiled.

"Y-yeah. I have to love this place." You confidently answered and both of you entered the building.

With entering Tae just left you and went to a group of boys. You decide to find your class on your own and explore the school. The walls were coloured in yellow and purple. Neat and cleanliness all over. You look for the twelve C class at the school map and make your way there. Student are quite disciplined there, sitting at their places and making zero chaos. Looking at all the classroom you finally find yours. Not many student are there. Only some girls sitting at the last benches goosiping about something. You find a known face out of them. It's of Seulgi, Taehyung's girlfriend. He have quite a many times send you her photos. But in reality, she looks more hot and gorgeous. With out interacting with anyone you straight up choose a bench and sit. Few minutes after, the empty classroom get filled with student. You saw Tae with his group of boys. Laughing and kidding with each other. A chaos shifted when they entered. But at your surprise, Tae even didn't look at your face or talked to you. He completely ignored you. But then the teacher walks into and everyone settles to their place.

"Good morning kiddos. I think you probably have seen our new student,____. Introduce yourself to the class,____." Teacher asked me.

"Hey, I'm _____ from Daegu. Your new highschool classmate. Please treat me well." You introduced.

Everyone just rolled their eyes, pretending like they didn't even care about me. No one even came up to you to befriend. The class was horrible basically the kids there. But Tae's behaviour is the most shocking, he didn't even asked or introduce any of his friends to you. You felt really guilty to be there only for Tae. The teacher was kind to gave you enough attention and praising. You answered well in the class as no one other than you was interested in the class. For the first few classes you didn't speak to anyone but at last you thought of talking to Tae.

During the lunch time,you went up to the last few benches which were covered with boys. There your bestie was also present. You walked to him, but all the boys were looking at you. They were making laughing faces or most probably mocking you for talking to Tae.

"Tae, you want to have lunch with me?" You asked him.

He felt a little uncomfortable while speaking to you. "umm.. actually I don't really eat with anyone. We boys gonna eat together. Go help yourself." He rolled his eyes.

You just can't processed what he said. You still were blank. You thought of yourself what he mean by not eat with anyone. He was your fucking bestie and why he was pretending that he don't know you. You felt regretted asking him and walked out of there.

"Another gold digger, Taehyung. Don't let the girl trap you."

"I don't know that she also will be like everyone."

"Taehyung, she's hitting on you. Your pretty face always traps everyone gaze."

"This little nerd also have a taste to ask the most popular guy like Taehyung for lunch. Huh."

Everyone started to speak trash about you. You were just hearing everything carefully. Trying hard not to cry or fall a tear. Tae is literally standing there and hearing all that shit about you and not letting them stop. He just hummed with everyone. You were keep on cussing your self for thinking about anyone betterment. Those tear can't hold but fall from your eyes. You let out a sigh and ignored all of that and ate your lunch.

You were so distrubed that you decide to take a break from the classes and sit on library. You started to read a book comfortably.

"Taehyung, What's I'm hearing? The new nerd is hitting on you?" Seulgi asked

"Ya. You know, perks of being the most popular kid." Taehyung smirked

"Basically I came up to you, cause I just want to tell you that our contract of being a couple is gonna end." Seulgi said.

"Thank god. At last you get the boy you were looking for? Then let's post that officially. Taehyung and Seulgi broke up." Taehyung excitedly said.

"But before that you have to do one thing. That boy whom I'll be dating should know that we broke up because you cheated on me. Okay?" Seulgi said.

"I cheated, why? Then how would we show that I cheated? Any plan." Taehyung sighed.

"Kiss the new girl,____" Seulgi smirked.

"What? No way. She's my bes-" Taehyung stopped mid way.

"She's hitting on you. Then if you kiss her, then probably she also get happy. And you're for sure a fuckboi. So go for it." Seulgi said.

"It's enough. I'm not going to kiss anyone. Shut up." Taehyung arrogantly said.

"Well, then I think I should reveal your secret to everyone. Huh? Do you want it?" Seulgi rolled her eyes.

"But it's totally wrong. I ca-" Tae frowned

"You have to. Or else your secret will be no longer a secret." Seulgi giggled devilishly.

"Umm.. uh.. Fine. I will." Taehyung sighed.

He thought about you so much. He even know that you have high expectations for your first kiss. He knows you haven't kissed anyone. That's you're pure. But he realized that after all you were his bestie. The one you trust the most. The one you love the most. Starting from the birth you were with each other. He realized that you were gonna accept his mistake to take away your first kiss.

Reading your favourite novel of all time. You feel someone call you from behind. You take a look at the back and see it was Tae. You make a annoyance face at him cause he was acting like he don't know you.

"Hey." Tae underconfidently said.

"What?" You growned.

"Umm.. can you lend me something?" Taehyung said and looks at Seulgi and her group who was watching you both.

"Why are you acting so weird today? Don't you know me?" You asked.

"I said can you lend me something?" Tae arrogantly bunched the table Infront of you. It's like he desperately need you.

"Ya!" You screamed.

He walks closer enough to close his dark eyes. He softly breathed across your soft cheeks. You hitched and took a back from the chair. But he pinned you with hand on your arms. You were just going to tell him to stop. But he quietly plant a kiss on your smooth peach lips. For some seconds the moment was out of control, you can feel his plump red juicy lips of your. He again pushed you further to kiss back. Without your knowledge, you can't resist his lips and kissed him back. His soft delicate tongue hit your teeth, you just asked him to enter all along your mouth. The kiss you first shared with your own bestie. But as you gather the knowledge of what's happening, you just pushed Tae so hard with all your strength. He hit across the wall. The moment was shabby, you never thought something like this you have to face in your entire lifetime.

The anger of your first kiss going away, gives you severe pain. That pain turns to anger. You got panic how your own best friend can do this to you. You realized he's isn't trustworthy anymore. He was the same men like everyone who just want to get into your pants. You shuttered to even remind the memory. You looked at Tae with your anger and panic face, he was looking dumfounded.

You walks up to him and straight up slap him in his golden cheeks.

[slashbitch2]

Extra Complications PT3

Previous Chapter

"Don't bother coming back into work tomorrow."

Her words had been replaying in your mind since the final encounter, bouncing round like a taunting echo. It'd only been a week since you'd stopped working at Alchemex, yet had felt like a lifetime of boredom and fatigue. With no job or persistent villain to chase after, if you could even call Liv a villain anymore, there was no reason to get out of bed in the morning, nothing to stop you from moping around your apartment. The days blended into what felt like one long sick day, disregarding the occasional break to rescue a cat stuck in a tree.

Although, your only sickness was of the mind. Whenever you attempted to get some rest, your thoughts would inevitably drift to Liv; the cold, distanced tone to her voice, the look of betrayal in her eyes, how empty the week had felt without her. By the third night plagued with insomnia, you were starting to accept that your feelings towards her may be more than a simple crush. On the eighth night, you decided you ought to do something about it and began to formulate a plan.

Entering the building like you were still an employee would be almost impossible since anyone who left their job was rarely welcomed back with open arms. It'd also be better to avoid the security and CCTV cameras, which you'd learnt used face recognition technology. And finally, locating a security card would pose a potential problem, as walking round the facility until you happened to stumble across a janitor to steal from was unfortunately no longer a possibility. So, what was the solution to all your problems? Vents.

Which is how you found yourself scouring over blueprints like a cliched protagonist from a bygone age movie, but at least the irony hadn't escaped you, and thankfully laboratories generally required a great deal of ventilation, so you had multiple routes memorised by the time the bus had arrived at Alchemex. You'd spent the entire journey on edge, fearful that any fellow passenger might accost you for looking so suspicious. But apparently an agitated figure buried beneath a pile of blueprints wearing a spider-suit underneath a jumper was normal enough to be ignored.

Nonetheless, stepping onto the concrete ground of the car park was a relief which inspired a tad more optimism. Moreover, leaving the burdening stacks of blueprints behind further alleviated some of your anxiety. It felt like a final confirmation that this was your one and only chance, and you weren't about to mess it up. Even as the building loomed over you casting a shadow of uncertainty, nothing could discourage your determination.

There was the remarkable sense that you didn't belong here, though it was a familiar sensation. One that persuaded you to tug the mask over your head before darting toward the edge of the car park. It was your belief that as long as you stuck to the outskirts of the facility, few would pay you any attention while you were out in the open. Therefore allowing you to manoeuvre into position and take the quickest passage straight to Liv's office. Which is exactly what you did.

The first stretch of the vent system was a straight drop, a narrow plunge that went on for longer than anticipated. Like a slide with no angle of inclination and a lot less fun. You hit the metal base with an ungraceful clang, certain that your legs would've buckled upon impact had it not been for the lack of space to do so. Overall an uncomfortable start. The remainder of the journey was a lot of crawling and muscle cramps, your only incentive being the occasional grate to peer down which reassured you that your destination was drawing nearer. Everything was going to plan.

Until you heard her.

Olivia's voice rung clear as if from a dream. It stood out from the general ruckus, initially leading you to believe you were hallucinating, that it was some kind of audible mirage. Yet you refocused your senses and it didn't go away. She was almost directly below you, separated simply by a thin layer of metal. With renewed ambition, you crawled toward the nearest grate as quickly and quietly as possible, frantically lowering your head to find the perfect angle, all just to catch a glimpse of her.

"What do you mean the program hasn't worked?" Liv pinched the bridge of her nose, her words laced with an an uncharacteristic anger. You'd never known her to be an irritable person, she loved her job and every challenge that came with it. Was she uptight? Sure. Passionate? Undeniably. But never angry.

"I've tried rerunning and rewriting parts of the code. And it just doesn't work!" Some poor employee (Mark, if you remembered correctly) was fighting for his dignity below. You could see he was flushing, wildly flailing his hands around as he tried to justify his mistake.

"You've rewritten part of it?!" She repeated, volume rising in frustration.

"I- I thought I knew how to fix it."

"I told you not to mess with my work." She growled, stepping closer.

"With all due respect," He didn't back down, clearly caught off guard and unsure how to deal with an irritated Liv. "it's actually Y/N's work."

Upon hearing your name, you ducked out of view as if you'd been seen. Although, it was evident that this was not the case, so slowly you edged forward to peer down at them once more.

Liv's face had dropped at the mention of your name. But by the time you'd settled back in place, anger was already seeping into her expression, then was suddenly smoothed into disturbingly sweet smile. "Well, Y/N isn't here anymore. So I suggest you keep your incompetent hands off of things you don't understand."

Judging by her vague wording, you guessed she hadn't told anyone the real reason you'd been fired. A fond appreciation flooded your mind. Despite everything that had happened, she still respected your secret enough to keep it. You begun to consider that maybe Liv cared about you as much as you did her. Why else would she lie on your behalf?

Mark muttered an ashamed. "Ok." Then left to try and atone for his mistake.

Liv stayed where she was for another minute before taking a deep breath, shaking off her annoyance, and setting a determined path. You assumed she was heading for her office and were about to follow, but then paused. Was this really the best time for a reunion? She obviously wasn't in the best mood, and if you had to guess, it was likely due to your betrayal. Was it too soon to reappear in her life? You'd arrived here with the intention to apologise and make amends, however, you had no idea how Liv would react or what would happen after. If there would even be an after. She could attack you on first sight for all you knew.

No. You'd come too far to turn around now. You continued along the vent before you could overthink the decision. It would be foolish to turn around now: the end was in sight, and rapidly growing closer.

Reaching the final grate, you were greeted with the familiar yet new aerial view of Liv's office. It'd remained mainly the same since your departure. She hadn't even bothered to remove your lab coat, which was still carelessly thrown over the chair you'd frequented everyday. And Liv herself hadn't changed much either, disregarding the seemingly permanent anger lines upon her face. She was sitting at her desk, head in hand, mindlessly flipping through a folder. It occurred to you at that moment that she didn't look irritated, rather sad. Another unexpected emotion for her to display.

After a minute, she sighed, tossing the papers to one side and bringing her other hand up to crash forward into. She looked defeated, seeing her this way felt wrong. You honestly preferred the anger because it showed she'd maintained at least some of her usual intensity.

You sighed. It was time to fix this. With unsteady hands you delicately unscrewed the bolts holding the grate in place, careful to make as little noise as possible. It was as you were removing the final screw that you realised something: you had no idea what to say to her. No planned speech or prepared apology, you'd resigned to hoping for a spontaneous burst of thoughtfulness in the moment. You sat there for a minute, fidgeting with one of the screws while attempting to come up with what you would say. Should you start by apologising for breaking in, or for lying to her, or for applying to the job in the first place? You had a lot of things to apologise for.

And unfortunately, the chance to think it through any further was taken from you as the screw slipped out of your hand. You gasped watching it fall, hitting the ground with an faint thud. Although quiet enough for most people to ignore, you knew Liv was too thorough to not investigate. And as expected, following your sharp intake of breath was the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, then footsteps gradually approaching.

Liv appeared below you, bending down to inspect the screw before glancing up. Her eyes locked with yours through the mask and widened in shock.

"Hey." The casual tone to your voice sounded forced and you grimaced. But rather than dwelling on it, you dropped from the exposed hiding place and pulled off your mask. You smiled awkwardly, eyes scanning and overanalysing her reaction.

Liv stepped back to lean on the desk for support. Her mouth was agape, but otherwise her face was worryingly blank.

"If this is a bad time I can come back later."

Still no response. The room was drowning in a tense silence.

"Well, actually I probably can't come back." With no social cues to interact with, you began to ramble aimlessly. "I'm guessing you'll find a way to patch that particular security breach." You gestured up to the gap in the ceiling and laughed lightly. "Sorry about that. I didn't know how else to-"

You're cut off as Liv moves impossibly fast, grabbing your shoulders and shoving you backwards against the wall. A thousand different thoughts run through your mind at once, all wondering what she's about to do. The majority are focused on the possibility that she's going to hurt you in some way, although, even if she did have the intention to cause harm, you wouldn't fight back. You were tired of conflict, especially when it involved Liv.

She was standing close, breathing heavily and saying nothing. You couldn't help but let your eyes flicker down to her lips, the temptation to kiss her becoming increasingly vehement. So instead you forced your attention up to her eyes, which held an air of confusion.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was deep, full of unvoiced emotions.

You licked your lips, glancing at her mouth one last time. "I came here to apologise. I didn't mean for any of this to go so far."

"You're lying." She backed away slightly and you immediately missed the proximity.

"I'm not! I just-" You stuttered, then admitted in a quieter voice. "I never meant to hurt you."

She inhaled shakily and swallowed, your eyes tracing the movement of her throat. "And?"

"And because I care about you too much to let you think I did any of this on purpose." You lowered your head, her invasive glare becoming overwhelming.

Soft fingers firmly gripped your chin, compelling you to look up. Her eyes displayed distrust, confusion which you suddenly feel the need to wipe away. You wanted to make your affection for her clear, but found yourself annoyingly speechless. All the recurring thoughts and confined confessions that had been plaguing you for a week suddenly gone from your mind. You were infuriatingly at a loss for words. Although, the warmth of her fingers against your skin reminded you that actions speak louder than words.

You leant in slowly, giving her sufficient time to stop you. She didn't move so you kissed her lightly at first, searingly next. Your arm shifted to wrap around her back tentatively and she moaned faintly in response. Although, it wasn't until you allowed her to take control that any remaining anger dissipated. At that point the kiss became bruising, her hold on you tightening as a wave of shared desperation rolled over the both of you. Before the desperation could reach its peak, however, you separated from her.

Liv was almost panting, her cheeks tinged pink and hair a mess. She promptly attempted to kiss you again, though you dodged the advance and she whined. Her mouth latched onto your neck, sucking at the skin there.

Your head fell back against the wall, dizzy from lust. "Does this mean I can have my job back?" You quipped, running a hand through your hair.

"Depends." She murmured in between kisses. "Do you have anymore secrets?"

"None that I can think of." You smiled, the prospect of returning to what you'd come to consider as normality was an appealing one. Of course there were things you would need to work through with Liv, and many, many extra complications alongside having a relationship with your boss. But nothing easy was ever worthwhile, and Liv was living proof of that.

"Alright. You're hired."

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

[depizan]

I'm not a fan of Protagonist Centered Narrativium. I want the "rules" of a work of fiction to be the same for Random Citizen #125 as it is for the main character, and it bothers me in works where that clearly isn't true.

I don't mean things like, say, Carrot having certain narrative advantages because he's The Rightful Heir (despite working as a city guard instead) in the books that originated (or at least named) the concept of Narrativium. Any Rightful Heir on Discworld would get those same advantages, for good or ill. I mean the narrativium equivalent of protagonist centered morality - works where it's super clear that the world just works differently for the protagonists as opposed to the common folk.

I guess I could also call this "What Measure is a Mook? The Plot Edition. (Since it's not so much about what the protagonists do or don't do as what the plot does.)

And I know that all fiction has this to some extent, but in some works it's subtle, and in some works it's a 50 foot flashing neon sign. In hot pink. Or, to be more thematically appropriate to many of those works, blood red.

I've even complained about this before, though I didn't have a catchy name for it then. At least I'm pretty sure my complaints about a historical mystery series that I consumed like popcorn (while complaining about it the whole while) included this issue. In that case, as in many, what it basically does is drop the work in a different place on that alignment of story/setting chart I'm so fond of depending on whether you look at what happens with the protagonists and what happens to everyone around them.

That historical mystery series wanted to be a little gritty and "realistic," except when it came to anything to do with the main character. If a random person survived being attacked with a bladed weapon, they got a scar. If the main character did, he somehow didn't. (Perhaps he's Wolverine's ancestor...) Being hit on the head might cause realistic brain damage if it happened to a random person, but our hero could be bonked on the head as regularly as Magnum PI (original flavor, no idea if it happens as often in nu! flavor) and suffered no ill effects. It's a dung ages version of history with grimdark outcomes for everyone but the main character and his family, who are somehow having a more noble experience. Possibly even a more bright experience, what with the magically healing wounds and all.

It's the problem I had with Jupiter Ascending, where the world is a gritty awful one unless you're the main character, at least once the plot runs into her. (And, yeah, maybe you could argue that it's supposed to be like Captain Carrot, what with her actually being space royalty by reincarnation and all, but it feels very different. In Discworld, it feels like you could have a book where there was an antagonist who also was a Rightful Heir which would lead to interesting trope shenanigans. In Jupiter Ascending, it feels like it's all about the main character having kind of a weird fairytale after having the most depressing what the fuck grimdark origin story ever.)

I feel like a lot of things I've tried that are on the grittier/grimmer/messier/whatever end of things have a real problem with this. Everyone around the main characters only exist to further the main character's (s') story - they're there to get splatted to make sure we know it's grim, while the Narrativium sweeps in and saves the protagonist(s).

And I know it's not unique to gritter things. It's arguably also the origin of Star Trek's red shirts and their unfortunate fates. Welp, we need to show that things are serious/the plants are carnivorous/there are Klingons lurking about. Guess we'd better off Ensign Whazizface. And suddenly away teams are only dangerous if you, as Guy so accurately put it in Galaxy Quest, don't have a name.

I guess I'm just a bit put off by fictional worlds in which only the protagonists have names. (Or very nearly.) I don't know. I feel like a lot of the tropes I don't like come down to some variant on the people as things problem, or some people being more people than other people. Chosen Ones, superheroes, Protagonist Centered Narrativium... Maybe it all boils down to knowing I'm Random Citizen #125 and not a protagonist, so I end up having too much sympathy for the people the plot expects me to accept as nothing more than props the protagonist's (s') journey.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #895: Anime, Crushes and Thanksgiving (Persona 5)

11:23 p.m. at Leblanc Café

TV Screen: Cha La! A Cha La!

Makoto: (Sleeping Soundlessly on a Sleeping Ren's Lap) Zzzzzzzzzzz.......

Morgana/Lavenza: (Takes a Nap on a Sleeping Haru's Nap)

Omega: (Currently on Sleep Mode)

Sae: Okay. So..... you're telling me this Saitama person can defeat giant monsters, aliens, assassins, and any other dangerous being that comes in his way.....with just a single punch?

Futuba: (Smiles Brightly at Sae) Yep!~ He can also do one hundred sit ups, one hundred push ups, one hundred swats, a ten kilometer run, and hit a fly with so much force that it explodes! Oh and also he does those four exercises everyday so.......

Sae: (Almost at a Loss of Words) That's incredible....Are you sure he's only human and....not some other powerful being we know little to nothing of?

Futuba: Oh I'm sure. He's as human as he can get. He just worked as hard as he could.to get where he is currently, you know? (Starts Putting her Hand Under her Chin) Which reminds me.....

Sae: Hm?

Futuba: If he's really the most overpowered character of his own show, then I wonder what his match up would be against a stand I could sent you into a Infinite Death Loop......

Sae: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) An Infinite What now!?

Futuba: Oh riiight......You don't have clue of what Golden Experience Requiem is yet, do you know? What JoJo part you're on right now?

Sae: Hmm....I think the one where the delinquent with the pompadour is the main protagonist?

Futuba: Diamond's Unbreakable?

Sae: Yeah. That's the one. How many parts are there again?

Futuba: Nine. Jojolion has ended a month or two ago, so the latest part is already in the works.

Sae: You don't say? What's it gonna be called?

Futuba: JoJo Land. I'm not sure what's the premises of it is gonna be yet, but I hope it'll be amazing.

Sae: (Smiles Softly) I'm sure it'll be great.

TV Screen: FREEIZAAAA!!!!!

Futuba: Hey, Sae? (Eats Some Popcorn From the Bowl) Can I ask you something?

Sae: Sure. What is it?

Futuba: Have you ever been in a relationship before?

Sae: I... can't say that I have honestly....In fact, I'm still single.

Futuba: (Eyes Widened While Almost Choking on the Popcorn She Was Eating) Seriously!? How come?

Sae: I never really had the time for romance, even before I became a prosecutor. So I wouldn't be too surprised if no one would be interested in having a workoholic like myself as a date.

Futuba: Are you kidding? Anyone would be lucky to date a badass prosecutor like yourself! Hell, If I was the same age you are, I would date you in a heartbeat.

Sae: (Giggles Softly) Seriously?

Futuba: (Smiles Brightly) Yeah, seriously! I mean, granted, I'm not the biggest romantic out there, but if I had to spend hours in my room, writing the most sappest poem on why I wanna take you out on a date....(Points Two of her Finger Guns at Sae) then I'd do it all for you no problem.

Sae: (Giggles Once More) I'm so flattered!~ But I honestly don't mind being single for a little longer. Plus, I wouldn't want to steal you from that Inari kid.

Futuba: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock as She Starts Blushing) HUUUUH!? (Quickly Turns to Sae) W-W-What are you talking about!? I don't have a thing for that guy!!

Sae: You sure? I've seen the two of you together once or twice before and you look like you seemed to be enjoying his company fairly well. Which reminds me, what kind of name is Inari supposed to be anyways? Is it a middle name of sorts? Or do you call him that to make him stand out in your point of view?

Futuba: (Starts Facepalming herself) Oh for God sakes..... There's no deep meaning involving the name, Sae! Inari is just Inari. Simple as that! And besides, even if I do like spending time with him from time to time, there's no way as someone as smart and intelligent as myself, would ever be romantically interested in a dopey, weird.... (Suddenly Starts Mumbling) artistic, funny, sweet, and cu-(Turns Back to See Saw Smirking at Her) You heard all of that, didn't you?

Sae: Perhaps. Care to elaborate further?~ On how sweet, funny and cute he-

Futuba: ANYWAYS! Let's talk about Thanksgiving, yeah!?

Sae: ('Sighs a Bit in Defeat') Alright. The holiday's tommorow after all....

Futuba: ('Sighs a Bit in Relief') Yeah.....(Smiles Softly) I'm pretty excited about it all things considered.

Sae: Agreed. Makoto planning on making a Peach Cobbler for tommorow event.

Futuba: Wait. Makoto can cook?

Sae: Yeah. She have been for quite a while now. (Looks Back at a Sleeping Makoto Beside her While Gently Stroking the Top of her Hair) She would always try to cook for me ever since mother and father were gone. Always doing her best to look after me.....(Smiles Softly) I love and appreciate her for that very much.

Makoto: (Giggles Softly While Sleeping)

Futuba: Awwwwww!~ Sisterly Bond!~

Sae: (Starts Blushing a Little Before Moving her Hand Away From her Little Sister's Head) Y-Yes. Well.... ('Clears Throat') Anyways, what about you, Futuba? Are you and Sojiro are planning on making curry again this year?

Futuba: (Smiles Brightly) Yep!~ Everyone loved them last year. So we're on making them taste even better! (Tries Reaching her Hand Out to a her Sleeping Brother with Little Prevail) With the....help our.....favorite......Ren-Ren, of course......

Sae: (Raised an Eyebrow in a Bit of Confusion) Uh...What are you doing exactly?

Futuba: (Sighs While Lowering her Arm Down) I was trying to reach over and pat Ren's hair. Can you do it for me?

Sae: (Eyes Widened a Bit) What? Why me?

Futuba: Cause you're sitting right next to him. And besides, don't you ever wonder how fluffy his hair is?

Sae: No. I mean.....not....all the time at least.....What if he wakes up?

Futuba: Ren's a medium heavy sleeper. As long as you don't make a really huge sound or anything like that, you'll be fine.

Sae: (Thinks About Futuba's Words For a Few Seconds Before Sighing in a Bit of Defeat) Alright....If you're really that certain.... But I'm ONLY doing this once. (Slowly and Soundlessly Reach Hand Towards Ren's Hair Before Gently Stroking It) Oh wow.....It really is fluffy.

Futuba: I know, right!?~ I've always wondered how he managed to get hair like that. It has to be some kind of rare conditioner we haven't heard from.

Sae: Maybe. Or he just took care of his hair fairly well for the most part. (Move her Hand Away from Ren's Hair)

Futuba: Yeah. That too.

TV Screen: MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, VEGETAAAAA!

Futuba: (Groans While Covering her Face in Annoyance) ('Ugggggh') Seriously, Goku!? Do you HAVE to step in and steal Vegeta's thunder like that!?

Sae: (Starts Rolling her Eyes) I know, right? Freiza annihilated his entire race and effortlessly killed him in Planet Namikan. If anyone deserve to finish the scumbag off, it most certainly should've been him alone.

Futuba: EXACTLY!!!

????: 'AHEM'

The duo stops talking and immediately turn their heads to an awaken Haru who is tirelessly glaring at them.

Haru: Could you please keep it down among yourselves? Everyone in this room is trying to sleep and I am trying to have mines in a beauty like fashion! (Turns her Glare into a Scary One) You don't wanna upset a tired, young woman with an axe, do you?

Futuba: (Immediately Scared Shitless) Nononono! We're good! We're good!

Sae: (Immediately Turns the TV Down Low) We're sorry, Haru. We'll be more quieter next time.

Haru: (Glares at the Duo For a Brief Second Before Smiling Brightly) I'll hold you to you then. Thank you for understanding. Goodnight~ (Immediately Went Back to Sleep While Snoring a Little)

Sae: (Eyes Widened at the Sleeping Girl) Wow....I did not expect Haru-san to be this intimidating.....

Futuba: Yeeeaaah...... She's known as the Noir of the Phantom Thieves for a reason..... Multiple reasons actually.

Sae: I see....I think it's best that we don't try anything to provoke her anytime soon.

Futuba: Agreed times infinity.

@keyenuta

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@26shann

@theweebmaster31

@princekirijo

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

[old-jeanz]

Hello all, I've decided to post my psycho-thriller/ horror story on tumblr. Please do tell me what you think and if I should continue it. It can also be read on wattpad @/ondeathrow

The "//" refers to the voice in the main character's head. I hope you enjoy.

Updates will be every Monday, Thursday and Sunday.

- Sean.

Daku. | a psycho-thriller.

"whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent"

- ludwig wittgenstein.

chapter one: stains.

//isn't blood quite similar to red wine? both create a stain, which is hard to get rid of. if they're spilled on your garments, you must leave them to soak, and even then the stain remains.

"I mean you're not wrong, but I suppose there are many things similar to red wine. scars that no one can see, voices that no one can hear", the male replied into the emptiness of room as he swirled the red liquid around the glass.

surely it was not strange to have a voice in your head, right? everyone is in need of a companion, especially when solidarity is your only roommate. this particular lost soul had few acquaintances and only but one close friend. it didn't bother him in slightest, he found the very essence is socialisation pointless.

it's true when they say that silence says a thousand words. there is nothing more mentally taunting than being alone with your own thoughts. however, a knock upon the rattling silver doors of the warehouse caught his attention.

//who could that be?

"It must be kazue..", he mumbled quietly to himself. "come in!".

with that, the warehouse door was brought up, and a feeble looking figure nimbly ushered inside, before shutting the door (if it could be called that even).

"why're there cobwebs all along the walls, ugh! I thought you would've sorted that out by now", kazue bellowed in vexation.

it was he who was the "one close friend" of our beloved protagonist. their friendship was odd to say the least. with two men from completely different worlds somehow coexisting, it almost made one wonder if their worlds were much different at all.

kazue's childlike brown eyes widened at the sight of the lighter that was suddenly in his friend's hand.

"h-hey...what're you doing? WAIT STO-"

before he could even finish his sentence, the cobwebs full of spiders was set alight and his friend was leaning leisurely against the wall, watching as a light show occurred right in his presence.

"oh....you don't like it, kazu? you were the one complaining anyways", the taller lulled out, crossing his arms over his firm chest with a roll of his eyes.

"I don't know why you decided to live here. it's old, not even a house, it's in the middle of nowhere, I got lost at least 3 times before actually reaching you, plus there are zero people around to ask for directions".

it was obvious that at this point, kazue was fed up of how strangely his friend lived.

"that's how I like it, I didn't ask you to come around, you made that decision yourself", his friend shot back, making his way to a long wooden table that ran along the wall of the warehouse to about halfway.

he sat down and allowed his chin to rest in his palm, his colourless locks gently shadowing his eyes. without looking over, he beckoned for kazue to sit beside him as he retrieved an opaque grey pouch from his satchel.

the silence wasn't tense like it was a while ago. however, with kazue's eyes practically slicing his loyal chum open, it was clear he had something to say. it was also clear that his friend would not like it.

"when are you going to stop?", his voice came out wearily. as if he was afraid of either being verbally stabbed or physically thrown across the wide space that surrounded them.

"when I see fit, stop acting like you don't do the same things I do".

though it was nothing but factual, kazue concluded that his friend and himself were not the same. to their business associates, they were s-class murderers. assassins. silent killers. but kazue still was able to live a relatively normal life within the streets of osaka. besides, he had his girlfriend, a legal job and a good social life. killing others was something that he got into for a revenge case, not for life.

unlike his comrade that sat next to him, kazue stopped when he got the closure he needed. it was crystalline who was able to let go, and who was not.

kazue brought his fist to his mouth and coughed quietly, searching his mind for something to change the subject.

"do you remember akira hinode?", he questioned, tracing his fingers along the dents in the table.

"are you referring to that really tall girl that everyone mistook for a boy in the year above? she was like the hulk dressed in a pretty outfit".

"funny you should mention that, she became a he last year".

his friend finally turned to him as he raised a brow in subtle interest. "I'm not surprised, even her parents- his parents accepted it. I remember when we were all at school. it was snowing and one of her underlings had called to me to say they had made me a present. when I dashed outside, I saw a snowman that they said was me. I was overjoyed by it".

kazue had never heard this story before and leaned forward like a Cheshire cat waiting for another treat.

"then akira had walked out with a baseball bat, and with no hesitation whacked the head off of my snow form. right in front of my whole class".

"wha-", kazue stammered. not what he was expecting... at all.

"what's his name now then?", his friend seemed unaffected by the recollection of that memory. meanwhile, kazue felt like someone had clutched his heart and dug into it with their rusted nails.

"akio higasa".

his friend rose to his feet, twitching his brows in utter confusion before a sinister smile crept onto his face.

"are you sure? my my this is quite sentimental isn't it", he spoke in a hushed undertone.

"what do you mean?", kazue's head tilted in concern at the change in his companion's demeanour.

"it seems that...", the white haired male began while reaching into his pouch. "a certain akio hagasa is going to die tonight. must've got on one of my client's nerves".

"you're not really gonna kill him are you?"

"what do you mean? a job is a job, no matter who the victim is", the white haired explained. "it will be nice to have a reunion, though he won't know who I am at first. I'll say : hi there, I'm daku. I'll be your executioner for tonight".

[muwi-translates]

Collar x Malice Short Story: Inside the Box

Christmas Shiraishi-centric short story.

HEAVY SPOILERS. Only read this AFTER you have finished the first game.

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

Generally speaking, the thing called ‘Memories’ is not clear.

Unlike memory as information, it has no fixed form. Its content can depend on the person.

Sometimes sad memories turn into hatred, and happy memories sometimes turn into delusions.

The human brain can't be trusted. It can automatically rewrite itself for its own benefit.

I, who did not require ‘Memories’ —— surely it is the same for Shiraishi Kageyuki the human.

◇ ◇ ◇

This was when I lived in the ‘Facility’.

Every day, every minute and every second, I lived like a machine.

For me, who knew how to suppress pain and happiness as soon as I understood how, all I had was ‘Curiosity’.

The vast amount of knowledge grew with each passing day. Memories of the outside world were written in letters. Like events of a distant world, even the difficult to read special books were simply ‘Unknown Stories’ to me.

I thought that my desire to know things defined my personality. However, when I think about it now, it may have been a desire planted in me as part of my training. Training to become a perfect doll.

"Christmas. The festival celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, coming from the word "Christ mass", it takes the form of many activities in Japan—...”

Inputting information was simple. However, I was also trained how to ‘Use Memory’. If a huge amount of information stayed on the surface of the brain, it will become confused, so if it is not necessary, there was no need to take out the memory sealed in the deeper layers.

(Gifts are put under a tree, and you gather with your family around the dinner table…)

Perhaps this information will also be stored in a box that is rarely retrieved from.

Of course I knew the basics, it was only carefully investigated because it was related to other information.

(Giving love to each other...for what...?)

The outside world is full of as many far-fetched, mysterious customs as mountains. If you had questions about everything, it would only make the processing slower. But this time, I was not sure why I was so interested in this subject.

"Are you interested in Christmas?"

——Suddenly hearing a sound coming from behind, my shoulders moved unconsciously.

Points are deducted if you are seen reacting. I immediately pretended to be calm and looked back, only to see an unfamiliar face.

“Your hand, it’s been paused on this page for a while now.” 

What peered at me was a pair of eyes full of serenity, transparent no matter where you looked — like glass balls.

"No, I'm very sorry. I memorised it without any problems."

"I’m not blaming you for anything. I know you have good scores here."

He was a high-ranking person who has inspected this ‘Facility’ many times. 

But his appearance did not match his position, with his youthful face. He appeared to be younger than me.

I remembered his name, because it was necessary for me to do so.  —Mikuni Rei. He was a human who worked with those who ‘control’ us.

“I’m interested why you, someone that’s like a precision machine, showed interest in ‘that’, that’s all.”

"I didn't become interested... I just had questions."

"Like?"

“......”

What was the meaning of his response? Was I being tested, or was he being whimsical? Either way, I had no right to not reply.

"Why do humans, who aren’t related to that religion, choose to give each other love on that day? What for?”

"...I think there are many other things similar to it but..."

"Yes. But... after reading this information, I think for the average person, this part seems to be more special than others."

As I finished speaking, he— Mikuni Rei’s eyes became slightly dim for some reason. Careful observation of the facial expression can lead to an answer.

【Pity】

A boy in the ruling class felt compassion for a stray cat trapped in a box.

A sense of superiority, a desire for control, and empathy. There were many times where I wanted to give it a name, but it was difficult to understand because I was immature.

"Human feelings... cannot be explained by theory alone. If you feel special, it must be because it touches your heart.... If the other person is the object of your envy and admiration, they are not bound by rights or wrongs."

Thoughts continued to sound as the words continued.

If ‘we’ have feelings for a particular thing, in his viewpoint, it is not a good thing. However, he agreed.

“Why do you treat me like a human?”

“Eh?”

Asking questions is normally prohibited. But now my curiosity had prevailed. This was a serious error. There should be no more curiosity beyond the rules.

"You said these things about a pawn, things impossible to explain with theory."

"...You are right. I don't know why. It's just..."

 After speaking, his bewildered gaze stayed on me, and then he spoke unwaveringly.

 "Number 14. I... don't want you to be unhappy."

...At that time, he smiled.

But what kind of smile it was— I can’t remember.

Pitiful? Loathing? Hateful? Kindly? 

I don’t remember. I can't remember.

Because it's stored in a box that can't be taken out, deep and deep inside.

◇ ◇ ◇

In my dream, someone is calling my name.

 “————Shiraishi-san.”

Did I always have this human-sounding name? I want to lie and tell myself that this is true.

But it's impossible. Even my name, which was supposed to be just a code, has become so dear to me.

“Oi, Okazaki! There’s no room for you here for dinner!”

"How mean. But it's okay, I'll eat some from Mineo-san’s.”

“It’s NOT okay! No one told you to come!”

“I’m sorry, Enomoto. ...I was the one who called Okazaki here today.”

“Geh! Yanagi-senpai?! When did you fall this guy’s wily ways—!?”

"His voice was so loud we heard it from inside, obviously he’ll attract attention. Yanagi-san probably didn’t want to disturb the neighbors."

“Yanagi-san let me in when I kept saying ‘I’m so cold… I’m so lonely…’, fufu, he’s so nice.”

“So you just left Yoshinari outside? Talk about pitiful…”

“I'll bring him a souvenir later. It's food that Yanagi-san and Ichika-chan made together. It'll definitely be delicious."

“I don’t know if it’ll suit your tastes but… Ah, but Yanagi-san’s food, I promise it’ll move you! It’s definitely not inferior to food you’ll find at high-end restaurants.”

"Why does the stupid cat look so proud?"

"It looks good thanks to Hoshino being particular about the arrangement."

“Yanagi-senpai…! I’m getting a little jealous watching you two compliment each other, please stop it!!”

Ah, so noisy. Completely unproductive dialogue. There’s no calculation and no falsity, the boring everyday that I like.

When did I get used to this warmth and treat it as part of my everyday?

While I was thinking in a daze, Ichika-chan reached out to me.

“Shiraishi-san, come here. The party has already begun."

——Party?  ……Is that so? Has it started?

"These were all made with everything we had. Let's have a good meal today."

 ——Fufu, as usual, Yanagi-san takes care of others like this.

“......Though I really don’t understand what’s so good about a bunch of us adults coming together.”

 ——Although that was what Sasazuka said, he also stayed behind to join in.

"Hey, don't stand there in a daze! You’re the protagonist today!"

 ——Hm? Did Enomoto-kun just call me ‘you’?

“I heard Ichika-chan is giving you a present, right?” 

——Even Okazaki is here… Fufu, he must have come in by force.

"Yes. It’s a wonderful gift I prepared with everyone."

I took a box from Ichika-chan who was smiling as she spoke.

I felt strange rather than happy. I was looking right at Ichika-chan, instead of looking down.

Yanagi-kun patted my head, and it also seemed to feel very big. No, maybe it's because I have shrunk.

Thin limbs, short hair. I am the same age as when I talked to ‘Him’ about Christmas.

(Ah. Is this… a dream?)

It seems I dream too much at Christmas.

"But Ichika-chan. I haven't prepared a gift."

"No, Shiraishi-san. We’re...returning you what you gave us."

“...? What I gave you?”

 "Yes. You gave us… a lot. It's only natural that we want to return the favour."

“I see… so this is what it means… to exchange gifts…”

"Yes. We want to share it, because we cherish each other. Please open it, and take a look."

“Okay.”

I slowly opened the box, and inside was——、

 ◇ ◇ ◇

When I opened my eyes, I saw a familiar scenery.

This was their base, called the ‘Detective Agency’. It also became a place I could feel comfortable as well. 

“Ah, Shiraishi-san, you’re awake?”

A pair of eyes I seem to always see somewhere, someplace, were looking at me. Crystal clear—like glass balls. 

“Ichika-chan…? Ah, huh? Where’s... the present box…?” 

"? Fufu, it's rare to see you half-awake. If you sleep in a place like this, you’ll catch a cold. Are you going to the office to stay overnight?"

I realized the reality as my consciousness gradually returned from my awakening. 

That’s right. The collar—in order to protect herself from those who had declared to ‘pick her up’, she had taken refuge here with her brother.

The deadline announced by Adonis was approaching soon. In order to make her forget this fact temporarily, I had been talking to them about Christmas. When I thought about the gift she gave—and the only gift I could make, I fell asleep.

(Truly... the ‘Heart’ is so difficult to understand. I… must have been scared to have a dream like that.)

 —Everything will end soon.

That smile of his I had gently stored away was blacked out. 

The contents of the boxes I had received from her and everyone had been badly damaged and dirtied.

But I decided not to regret it, even if I was scared or in pain.

Because I got the most precious gift in the world.

"Ichika-chan...Thank you."

"Eh?"

"You taught me my first Christmas, right? So, thank you."

"What are you talking about? The real fun starts from now on."

"...Fufu, yeah."

In a few days, we won’t be able to greet Christmas as we promised. Regardless of what happens, it will only make you sad.

Even if I understand that, I want to see it. I don't want to give up. I want to make my wish come true.

 This is certainly not a sad story.

I, who had received such a present, could not be unhappy. 

Even if I get it dirty with my own hands, this warmth will not disappear.

There’s no reasoning. It’s because I’m human. ...Because I am special.

A shining, sparkling gift for me, who was supposed to be called Number 14.

An opened box filled to the brim with tender memories.