#what the fuck would be healthy yaoi

[kirexa]

Toxic Yaoi

Versus

Healthy Yuri

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me

[k-martins]

Updating mine

MY TOP TEN FAVORITE JJK SHIPPS!!!!

10. SHOKOHIME

They stole Jogo and Hanami's place because I got it into my head that Jogo is like the grumpy grandfather and Hanai is the vegan aunt of the curse family! I like them. I think it's a ship with a lot of potential. I need to consume more content, but I love the fanarts!!!

9. HIGUNANA

This crack grew in me and now I'm suffering for them after the last chapter. In a kind universe, Higuruma and Nanami adopted Yuji and they live happily and happily!!! I think the two go together a lot and the fanfics are adorable! These Old Yaoi will be the death of me!!!!

8. CHOSOYUKI

They've come down a little, but man I still love them!!! Even more so now because my thirst for Choso awakened and I started reading fanfics of him being a good big brother and I fell to my knees! I still want to write more and explore his relationship with Yuji. And God, YUKI IS AMAZING!!!! THEY DESERVED TO STAY TOGETHER, AKUTAMI YOU DAMN IT!!!!

7. HIGUKUSA

A friend on twt is feeding me higukusa art and, god, this crack (not so crack, because that "I'll protect you even if I have to die for it" from kusakabe hit me hard) has taken root in my heart! I'm also obsessed with Higuruma, so I combined the useful with the pleasant!

6. INUOKKO

THEY ARE CUTE OKAY!!!! I AM OBSESSED WITH CREATING HCS FOR THEM!!! I don't consume much of their stuff, but all the fanart I've seen is cute and their participation in the itafushi fics I read is always welcome!!! It's kind of strange to read something where they're not together…

5. NOBAMAKI

MY OPINION HAS NOT CHANGED, OKAY??? NOBAMAKI IS WONDERFUL AND I WOULD KILL TO HAVE MORE OF THEM!!! But since I saw Nobara's flashback I've been wondering if Fumi wouldn't be a good ship too? Does anyone have a fanfic/fanart of him, by the way??? ANYWAY, NOBAMAKI IS STILL MY FAVORITE!!!

4. KIRAKARI

I'M IN LOVE WITH KIRARA!!!! SHE AND HAKARI ARE THE ONLY HEALTHY THINGS IN THIS MISERABLE MANGA!!!! I love imagining what their relationship is like, writing hcs slice to life minis and drawing Kirara! But I'm getting worried because I saw someone saying that Kirara could appear in the Hakari x Urame fight to help her boyfriend and I know what's going to happen and I don't want it to happen! GEGE GET THESE DIRTY CLAWS AWAY FROM MY BABIES!!!!

3. SATOSUGU

YOU RUINED BLACK AND WHITE FOR ME, YOU DEPRESSED BITCHES!!! My friend is obsessed with them and boy can I understand! These two are tragic, with a beautiful dynamic and a happy ending(?). Plus they fucked up my Christmas Eve. I hope these two bitches are causing terror in heaven!

2. ITAFUSHI!!!!

If you've known me for more than a second, you'll know that I have an average of five outbreaks a day because of these two. This whole thing about always trying to save others even if it condemns them destroys me, okay??? Fanfics and fanarts also feed me! And I'm going to convince all my friends to ship this too so I can yell at 2am at them about little details of their dynamic! AND THEY MATCH SO MUCH!!! Of course, no more than our first place!!!!

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EVERYONE X THERAPY!!!

Please let the deaths stop and this become canon

Honorable mention for _ Tojikuna (more because a twt artist is obsessed with them and that rubbed off on me) _ Hainana _ Toji x Mamagumi _ Okkofushi (Yuta was Megumi's first crush and you can't get that out of my head) _ Uraume x Sukuna (one-sided) _ Yuta x Maki

[swifty-fox]

From the angst writing prompts list: “ you’ll fuck me but you won’t [go out with/date/marry] me. ” for Buck x Bucky?

prompt list

let's do some Hockey AU! Old Men Yaoi time Buck and Gale are in their late thirties here.

Saturday evening's argument starts out in that silent way of theirs. A slight downward curve of Gale's lips, a scoffing eyeroll from John. A decision not to sit beside each other on the plane ride home.

John shuts down the goal on Gale during practice, a pointed petty over-exertion of routine practice.

Gale uses the last of the creamer and doesn't replace it. He doesn't even like creamer in his coffee.

By Monday night they're in a full-blown Fight.

It makes the rookies uneasy, the tension between their Captain and their Alternate. The way the two men snipe at each other from the showers, from the locker room, from puck drop to final buzzer reminds the other veterans of their debut year on the team. Before they'd figured things out and decided they made a damn good team on the ice and romantically to boot.

The Buckies didn't fight. It was an irrefutable fact of the universe, like how Biddick always ate a nerds rope between second and third periods and the way Little Mac always had dog fur in his duffel bag.

Tuesday they lose their game because Gale is too busy chirping John for leaving the crease yet again and so John tells him to care about his own game and lets in three points diving for the puck halfway to the blue rather than trusting their Dmen.

Wednesday is a double OT Win and John goads the teams into a line brawl because it would be exceptionally bad form for him to punch his Alternate in the face.

Friday Coach Chick Harding sits them down and tells them to figure their shit out or be benched for the foreseeable future.

At home they cook dinner and don't talk about it. John does the dishes and Gale does the laundry and they don't talk about it. They have bitter, biting, angry sex and hold each other in the aftermath but they don't talk about it.

They're both healthy scratches for Saturday's game and Brady loses a tooth trying to fill Gale's skates. Curt corners John in the owners booth after, sticks a blunt scarred finger at his nose and orders him to fix this.

John, who'd always been the slightly more emotionally intelligent of the two, and also the elder, and also the goddamn Captain, sighs like a scolded teenager.

Lying in bed after another bout of wonderful sex where they don't talk about it and don't talk about anything else either John stares up at the ceiling they'd painted together and purses his lips.

"We have to talk about it."

Gale grunts, twists to pop a couple advil in his mouth and passes the bottle to John. They both were living with their aches and pains more prominently these days and their medicine cabinet had long been well stocked with compression bandages and OTC painkillers and packs and packs of IcyHot. "Talk about what?"

"Oh fuck off, eh? You're not stupid and you're not a fuckin' liar Buck."

"What is there to say?"

Throwing his hands up John makes a wordless sound of frustration, rolls to pin Gale with his thighs and glare down at him. Both their bodies were mid-season lean, packed with muscle and bruised from rough play that would only grow rougher as teams fought to qualify for the playoffs. "You're content to fuck me all these years but you won't marry me?"

Gale, lines around his beloved face that were not there even five years ago, grey creeping through his hair unnoticed for the paleness of it, avoids John's gaze.

"Isn't this enough? We got a house and we got a team and it's each other we come home to at night. We live like we're married already Bucky, what's a document got to do with any of it?"

"If it's just a document it should be no big deal right?" John asks sweetly.

Gale frowns up at him and John jabs him in the center of his chest, drawing a grunt from the other man.

"You're being a puss and you know it. I just can't figure out why."

Pale blue eyes close, muscled cheekbones flexing with tension as Gale sighs slowly. John strokes down Gale's chest, over the seams of his stomach muscles and along the ladder of his ribs. Even angry, they'd lived too long together to not be at ease.

"I don't want the end of my career to become a political statement. I don't want to be a martyr or a symbol, I just want to play some good fucking hockey and then retire. And then when it's no longer our Job to be talked about I want to marry you quietly and privately and play beer leagues with you so you can finally have your Goaltender fight."

there's a long period of silence in which Galer's face screws up tighter, eyes squeezing shut as if waiting for his partner's ire. And then John is laughing, loud and incredulously and from the belly.

"That's it?"

Gale opens one eye and finds John looking down at him with his signature toothless grin. His salt and pepper hair falls around their faces as he bends down to kiss Gale soundly, "You spent the last week stressing out all the children because you were too scared to ask for a long engagement?"

"Engagement?"

John rolls back off Gale's body with a groan, stretching his body out, "Yeah. Unless I heard wrong you just said you wanted to marry me, which is as good as asking in my book. So sure Gale, I'll marry you after you retire."

"Hold on, John, fuckin' hell, we're not resolving this that easy are we?"

"I mean it ain't the most romantic of proposals, but there's time for you to do it right."

[sanchezsimp]

Okay, I'm just gonna be reeealll straight and honest with y'all here-

Billford.

Warning: I'm not going to tag this post, because there aren't any actual spoilers in it, but these were my thoughts after reading it. Read if ya want.

I, personally, never shipped it. I also never had a problem with others shipping it. I respected it and still do. Perhaps more now. It was sort of a "whatever, do what you want, like what you like, don't care" ship for me. BUT!

NEVER, in a million years, did I think the Book of Bill would get me into it rather than the goddamn fandom.

Okay, let me be more specific here...

I didn't see them as properly being in a relationship. It's not my OTP or anything like that, and it sure as hell wasn't healthy or sweet.

Bill was abusive, and Ford was a victim.

But I do believe that, despite using him, Bill actually felt connected with Ford, and they had some good times... And he was real upset when the only person he felt that connection with left him.

That doesn't make it any less toxic or wrong.

I wouldn't say I ship it now, per se, but I definitely see it, because it feels canon.

To me, it was a one-sided, maybe-romantic thing with Bill, and he was hurt. This does not excuse the fucked up shit he did.

Maybe it wasn't truly romantic, but there was some element in there, if you ask me.

To anyone who disagrees and thinks it definitely was or definitely wasn't romantic-- Alright! You're entitled to your own opinion.

But, y'all, I did not expect the Book of Bill to be about Bill and Ford's toxic yaoi, and hell, I'm not opposed.

It was great, I cannot explain more how much I fucking loved reading it.

Tumblr, please don't hate me-

[danganphobia]

but they stay with laios until he falls asleep anyway they barely get any sleep later in the morning themselves.

this is honestly so sweet they r his lesbian parents… AAAAH man laios angst is rlly real. i love farcille sm they are thee understanders TM theyre so sweet,,, theyre probably out here having fun and silly theatre or opera dates … the :3 to me

also also u mentioned chilshi. what r they up to. are they old men yaoi. r they professors or just . job havers. bar owners or smth

oh mah god i havent thought much about chilshi. my beloved old man yaoi. that's ok we're going through my thought process together.

if i were to think about it chilchuck sounds like a miserable medieval history adjunct professor. he's divorced. he sees his daughters like twice a month and they're the reason for his will to live, when he doesn't see them, he hates everything and everyone. he doesn't really like his job. he has tenure. he can do what he wants. when his students ask him if he could repeat the assignment he just says "No." and tells them all to leave his class because lecture time has ended and he refuses to go another minute over. his class exam average is below 40 percent and he doesn't give a fuck. he's waiting for his next paycheck to buy drinks at the local pub.

senshi's a culinary professor. he loves cooking and he loves teaching people how to cook. he's been doing it his whole life. he cooks for the gang during dnd meetings. whenever he's in a kitchen he makes it his own, even if the kitchen doesn't belong to him. if it weren't for him everyone would probably die of dehydration or live on cup ramen and frozen food for entire semesters. he leaves pastries on chilchuck's desk because chilchuck has to mentally prepare himself to help teach a class of 50 uninterested people that do anything but actually pay attention for nearly 3 hours. the pastries are actually what keeps chilchuck going. chilchuck is the one that asks senshi if he wants to go drinking. senshi is a really good listener, chilchuck finds that hot, and tries to sleep with him, but senshi stops him and asks if he could just come over to his apartment and senshi will cook a nice warm meal for him instead and take it slow, because he's a gentleman.

chilchuck actually agrees to it and has a good time. they sleep together but don't have sex, and he wakes up in the morning like damn, i actually have a crush at my big age? that's crazy.

this becomes a regular thing for them until chilchuck can't take it anymore and grabs senshi by the beard and is like "WE NEED TO FUCK. RIGHT NOW." and senshi goes "okay :) after dinner with me first :)" (they have sex).

"how did they get into the dnd club van" falin slapped a bunch of posters around campus with cute doodles and senshi saw it on his way to his classroom. he asked chilchuck if he wants to join sometime in case he's sick of teaching hopelessly unmotivated students. chilchuck thinks about it for a long time but one day when he's so stressed from teaching he joins a meeting and promises it's just "one time only" and ends up becoming a regular.

he brings his daughters to the dnd meetings and marcille is so happy because they're so cute. most of the time they just want to play minecraft and are on their expensive smartphones but they're nice girls. sometimes namari and kabru buy them fast food behind senshi's back when they don't feel like eating healthy.

[lemontarto]

:) OOC: I am going to need you to explain every detail of the Gethen and Elwin Ship. I NEED IT.

my buddy u have no idea what u just unleashed. there is so much extensive lore for these guys that i could call them ocs . But anyway @everyonehasthoughts @creetchure the hethen trio fr

To understand how they've gotten to this point (toxic yaoi) you first must understand their backgrounds. But if you just want the fun stuff id say skip this whole first block 😭 anywya. (pspsp virg is writing a 15-30k fic abt them so tune in ehen that comes out)

this is. The Hethen Masterpost

gethen was the child of a telepath and a shade. Not a bad match but their relationship was still greeted with animosity. I say was because his parents died (for undisclosed reasons buuut it has to do with match policy and elvin standards etc) and he then lives with his grandparents. So hes not exactly at the top of the family food chain

Elwin is from a normalish family . theyre not vacker pretigious but they're not embroiled in some drama and scandal if yk what i mean

they enter foxfire, where gethen is very loud and charismatic and relatively liked by his peers, and elwin is (while generally liked) less popular. the last one picked at gym.

until gethen picks him. And then long story short they're best friends. gethen will usually go to elwins to escape his family situation and theyre essentially inseparable

level four is when shit kinda shifts. see this is when washers are trained and employed. and up to this point gethen feltlike he had to prove himself and if he did that the system would save him and his family.

being a washer puts him in closer proximity with the council and their nobility and all the secrets and him also being washed (by kenric i believe) which will fuck a guy up !!!

elwin can see theres inequality but hes on the naive side and believes he can fix things from the inside out. believes in the inherent goodness of everyone.

----------------

the elite levels is when shit gets gayer! theyre roomates. elwin practices his flashing on gethen and uses him to model his glasses prototypes. he patches up gethen when he gets banged up (from god knows what)

meanwhile gethens like ten times deeper into this washing gig. which will make things infinitely worse

whatever the case, theyre essentially like a couple at this point. which means theyre disgustingly in love. but this also means they have arguments. several.

and how do they resolve them? most of the time gethen will wipe elwin's memories. Because he cannot risk losing elwin.

So you understand. they do not have a healthy relationship. At some point gethen has enough with the whole system and joins the neverseen, in which he wipes the memory of him from the council and his family and from elwin. to everyone concerned, he doesn't exist.

circa post-flashback is when forkle steps in to confront elwin. Maybe he was a mentor when they were at foxfire but he knows about them. and he triggers the washed memories to come back (either he or the sophitz cognates do, in which case this is kinda funnier)

he does this because 'theres no other way' to take gethen down.

the way in question is elwin seducing gethen

(note about this plan: forkle had to erase the reason why elwins contacting gethen again so their cover isnt blown)

elwin goes into this swearing its purely for the sake of the black swan and he cant get attached and gethens a terrible person but Fuck if he isnt hotter than he was 100years ago

same for gethen. hed never fully gotten over elwin anyway. and he has his suspicions about elwins motives but he cant bring himself to care when hes finally in his grasp again

So in general. they're in this neutral space between the black swan and the neverseen, playing a great game of pretend . how could they not? its their only chance at a normal relationship.

----------------

there are several possible conclusions to this arrangement. Some of which are more likely in aus but whatever

they run away. theyre in the human world. elwin has somewhat convinced gethen that his goals arent aligned with the neverseen and he just wanted revenge on the council/system that fucked him over

gethen kills the second forkle, finishing the job persay. elwins a witness. no one else knows. gethen offers to wipe elwins memories to make it easier. Maybe elwin accepts.

this is a sillier ideal ending where gethens reformed and hethen adopts fitz (and or all the vacker sibs) . gethens like grunkle stan and elwins just dadwin. its very funny and they coparent with dellivvy

anyhow this ship was purely coincidental but i adore them more than any other. i hope you too, enjoyed this. because you will see them more.

[regretevator-confessions]

"Glevil x Mannequin isn't incest and it is healthy!!! :3"

Please get off the internet!! ^^

If them being made by the company makes them RELATED then they're fucking related.

"Oh but-" No excuses! Also I'm guessing Glevil is connected to the hivemind stuff and Mark felt fucking trapped and useless in it. IF THEY WERE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP IT WOULD BE A DISASTER!!! STOP DEFENDING THIS SHIT! >.<

"B-but what if i like toxic yaoi-" TOXIC YAOI MY ASS! DON'T ROMANTICIZE THIS SHIT. THIS IS CHERBONYL YAOI!! 3:<

"But its fiction-" Fiction my ass too! :3 Its not an exception from being morally incorrect and weird!!!! ^^

How about we all touch grass and burn this ship to the ground- i mean block the tags... Yea! ^^

.

[hongtiddiez]

4 minutes ep 1 raw reactions

idk if i'm gonna delve too deep into this and do my normal analysis so for now i'll just type up my raw reactions as i'm watching lmao.

the title sequence is fucking stunning, obsessed.

ooh he has a maine coon. rich boy maybe? expensive cat and nice apartment.

i really enjoy that the heartbeat sounds in the elevator scene sound like a heartbeat heard through an ultrasound. very interesting.

but umm. if you're having severe chest pain and trouble breathing please see yourself to the hospital my friend???

oh ok definitely a rich boy, hello fancy car.

AAAAAA BAS, IT'S BAS, LSKJGAI MY LOVE, GOD HE LOOKS SO GOOD

the music in this show is fucking gorgeous but like... also why so dramatic

ok so korn: transport -> investments (secret operation??? tf?) and they want great: university -> transport. got it.

ooh 12:39 okay i see you.

ooh 12:43 ok, 4 minutes, i'm listening.

OH. OH DON'T RUN THO

also like why was there a pedestrian in there???

OH. OK. INTERESTING.

i also hate that great initially ran bc now it's gonna take so much for me to like his char, which i'm sure is the point but still (；′⌒`)

aah. okay. i understand. it seems like she didn't want to do it tho. like yeah maybe suicide but... kinda seemed like suicide under coercion? or some form of intense external pressure.

HOLY SHIT JOB. THEY LET HIM OUT OF THE BE ON CLOUD VAULT. RUN BBY YOU'RE FREE.

HE'S SO THIN??? BBY ARE YOU EATING OKAY? i mean good for him if it was healthy and what he wanted tho.

this other doctor is so fucking hot tho who the fuck are you sir god DAMN. jaw for days.

ooh those dark spots on the ultrasound look like internal bleeding.

OH I'M SO SEXY AND SMART.

sexy doctor why shifty eyed??? i have a weird feeling about him. ok his name is tyme. as of rn we do not trust tyme.

more gorgeous music tho.

oh don't twirl your scissors like a douche.

he's got dead eyes and not much for facial expressions, he's freaking me out.

ew you don't even know your patient's name??? I DO NOT LIKE HIM SAM I AM, I DO NOT LIKE TYME EGGS AND HAM.

ok i dont like tyme but i WOULD like to see him and job's character fuck nasty. i am not immune to yaoi propaganda.

GOD BAS IS SO HOT I CAN'T GET OVER IT. I'VE MISSED HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. i love bible a lot but bas is everything to me. i used to reblog the same picture of him everyday. that's my sweet cheese, my good time boy, my rotten soldier.

oh i don't like this set up tho. this feels human trafficky. or like a no way in no way out. mmmm baby what do y smell is it death? OH LMAO IT'S GAMBLING. same thing kinda.

korn seems sensitive to smells, or maybe just smoke. he's just like me fr.

oooh curly hair girl isn't here to gamble, she's here for info of some kind.

OH BOYFRIEND TIME. OHHH OH I GET TO SEE BAS KISS MEN. LIKE I KNEW BC I SAW THE GIFS WHEN IT FIRST STARTED BUT UGH. I WAS NOT PREPARED. FUCK HE'S SO HOT. I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. HELP.

the fact that he opens up to his boyfriend and talks about his troubles as much as he reasonably can o(T ▽ To)

oh my god get OFF HIM there's no way your refractory period is that short.

not a huge fan of how korn came over, dumped his issues, had sex, and left tho. not great.

obsessed with this asymmetrical collar of great's shirt tho.

yeah i do love that no one fucking asks if great is ok, how he's doing, etc. he just went through something horribly traumatic and he could've been hurt, like. yuck. and his mom seems sweet but the fake sweet, like saccharine.

ooh why does his watch say 11:00??? something's gonna happen, huh.

fuck bas has an fantastic ass. i know we saw it but it somehow looks even better in those pants, my god.

7:13...

ugh i love brothers that can only be (mostly) themselves around each other. i really hope that's the direction this is going. two gorgeous gorgeous men on my screen, just an absolute feast for my eyes.

omg wait. wait. korn doesn't like the smell of cigarettes and he doesn't want great smoking. is there cigarette trauma? or does his dislike of cigarettes come from his concern for his brother's health?

OH facial expressions from tyme!! what a little grandma's boy.

11 am....

exploring the psychological depths of near-death experiences. the '4-minutes' phenomenon.

INCHRESTING. was manee coerced into suicide by someone trying to obtain a real time test subject for this phenomenon???

ooh he took the stairs today.

4th floor... 1:10 (13:10)... room 4... 1:11 (13:11)... ran into tyme outside room 1... at 1:14 (13:14)...

so in theory is each cardiac event he's suffering technically a near-death moment which is triggering the 4 minutes phenomenon where he has an out of body moment where he can see future events???

oooh he ran into him again. perhaps to show some things are simply inevitable?

damn the end sequence is gorgeous too.

fuck. i might be obsessed. uh oh.

god damn it sammon, you got me again.

wait so back to when it was 7:13pm... 19:13... 9+1=10, 3+1=4 so more 1s and 4s ₍ ˶•̀⤙•˶ ₎ hmmm

idk if i'm cooking or burning the kitchen down but i'm excited to find out

[moistrodent]

Would you think it would be better if the new episode was purely Verosika and Blitzø just talking or what we got?

And honestly, the way S2 writes Verosika as supporting a toxic yaoi ship (cough, cough Stoliz cough, cough) is a bit strange and I feel like she should've at least gotten to know the full scope of the toxicity in that relationship instead of blaming Blitzø it like in the past and I know he stole her car/credit card for horse lessons... still, she should've at least not held the grudge for a long time it's not exactly... healthy...

What do you think?

I think Helluva Boss has stopped having characters just talk, there’s some form of inconvenience stopping the characters from actually have a proper conversation like mature adults.

Verosika and Blitzø have a small conversation which I guess is a nice change but the rest of it is bullshit, I wish an episode would happen where characters would just work out their problems.

And Verosika forgiving Blitzø in a very short conversation…I’m sorry she threw a yearly party and generally fucking hated him WHY DID SHE FORGIVE HIM SO QUICKLY?

Overall, Apology Tour would have been better if it was a normal conversation between Verosika.

[cushfuddled]

Thank you so much for speaking up about Sherlock & Co because I very nearly got tricked by the "sooooooo canon!!" buzz. I guess it's been long enough for tumblr to get amnesia about TJLC. As Holmes-inspired stuff goes, back to my toxic yaoi House/Wilson rewatch I guess. That might be bait but what a tasty bucket of chum.

Thanks for the ask! Hope you don't mind a rant haha! This got me all fired up because AUGH, the memories!

I think the thing that frustrates me most is that from my brief stint in the Sherlock & Co tag, it looks like we're STILL at the point as a fandom (and a culture, I guess) where it's socially acceptable to claim it's MORE progressive for Sherlock and John to NOT be gay.

I was on the Sherlock BBC train by the winter of 2010, and I watched this argument evolve in real time from the don't-ask-don't-tell "being gay is fine but don't shove it in my face" fish into the faux-progressive "our culture is so oversexualized that modeling healthy, intimate male friendships is more important than canon gay rep" land mammal abomination. The fact that both these arguments land queer fans and creators in the same gilded cage kinda gives the game away: Queer relationships are fine...so long as they stay out of sight and out of mind. A gay side character can be forgiven, but the main characters must remain staunchly platonic lest the Gay Sex Stuff poison an otherwise pure, healthy, and culturally aspirational friendship.

Even queerplatonic relationships are seen as deviant. Other erroneous character details are sprinkled around for flavor, but any clarification on ace or aro relationships are treated as unnecessary at best and burdensome at worst—like a detour which would weigh down the story. It's the "ew gay cooties" fire poker approach in a utilitarian hat: If people can't label the queer content regressive in some way, then it's framed as extraneous to the narrative. Suddenly the plot becomes a perfect crystal, compounded and polished until all but the most vital story beats remain. Of course silly relationship details wouldn't penetrate this barrier of Pure Plot.

Except that's a total fabrication. These stories always make time for extraneous gags and flings and miscellaneous side quests. They nurture long-form friendships and rivalries under short-form plots. And creators are happy to play jump rope with the canon material right up until queerness enters the chat. They play it off like their hands are tied re: canonicity and relevance when really they just...don't want to make their characters queer. Which is perfectly fucking fine. I just wish more fans and creators were able to go "eh, I like these two as best friends and nothing else, so that's what I wrote" rather than make value judgements on people who WOULD prefer a canon queer relationship.

I haven't seen any kind of hand-wringing bullshit from the Sherlock and Co. creators as of yet, which gives me hope they'll just be honest about their preferences when the time comes (rather than try and spin their adaptation as something revolutionary in its platonic approach).

Like you said...It's also hard to watch a new round of fans rally their hopes around a Sherlock Holmes adaptation. My gut has absolutely led me astray before, but as far as I'm concerned, the Sherlock and Co. vibes are a world away from canon Jonklock. It's a great podcast and I'm sure it'll continue to accumulate fans. But it's not gonna be Gay. And I would loveeee to see people take that at face value I guess.

[garfeildfanpage]

To kind of add onto the Aoiaoi post from earlier I just wanted to include a few things I didn’t mention cause discourse

Akane didn’t strangle Aoi, but he still pushed her over, and proceeded to grab her by the neck and forced her upwards, hence the coughing. That’s still bad, actually!

Tbhktwt is having a moment right now, and I feel like a lot of people are either overblowing / diluting the conflict in the chapter. Akane is being forceful, both physically and not, and that’s not good! It’s obvious to say that in no other situation would Aoi have confronted her issues, but that doesn’t take away from the invasive act of it. He isn’t just forcing her to confront her feelings, he’s distressing her on purpose to prove his point, no matter his intentions he’s still doing something wrong. They’re both incredibly messed up individuals, and Aoi has a lot of blood on her hands as well.

Aoi intended on killing herself, and when Akane got in her way, she took him with her.

I’ve reread Akane & Aoi multiple times and still sit on the conclusion that their confrontation solved nothing. Akane is upset at Aoi for lying to people, but he doesn’t once try to rationalize why she’s doing so. Instead, he puts all the blame on her. He claims to understand her so deeply yet not once does he show her an ounce of grace. All he does is make her problems a “what about me?”, he doesn’t ask her anything, it’s all just what he thinks. “Why do you act like this?” Would’ve been a lot better than just getting in her face to yell, I think. Aoi has reasons for the way she acts, not excuses, but she tells him why she thinks that way and he still doesn’t get it. He repeatedly dismisses her distress, and gets in her space when she doesn’t want him to. She isn’t flustered, she’s uncomfortable. Which should be obvious considering the difference between the expressions she makes when she is! This chapter, and I really can’t stress this enough, is the farthest thing from romantic, and absolutely eons away from being even remotely healthy. This chapter is a hard and uncomfortable read, because of how deeply gross it is.

Aoiaoi is an incredibly complex relationship that shows two people in a toxic codependency, and Akane & Aoi is the absolute breaking point. They’re both fucked up in ways that only being apart can fix, and when forcing them to “confront” their issues, it’s just going to get messy. The objective view of them as peers is muddled when you focus on the imbalance between the two. Aoi has dealt with constant harassment from childhood, and as shown in the chapter, and has assumedly been mostly sexual harassment. And for Akane show such a clear disregard of her comfort is gross in basically every way. That is the rock bottom of Aoiaoi, and I am so tired of people justifying what happens just because they like them.

And I can repeat this a thousand times, every relationship in tbhk is flawed. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore the bad behavior in them, and using it as an excuse is exhausted and weird. You can like Aoiaoi all you want, but that doesn’t mean you should justify the bad shit! Every relationship is flawed, but that doesn’t mean they’re all flawed the same. Not everything is toxic yaoi, some things are just toxic, and acknowledging that is really important. Don’t justify abuse or mistreatment! I think!

I could restate the whole end-part of the original Aoiaoi post but I don’t feel like it. Uhmmmm I don’t hate Aoiaoi I just personally think they should be treated by the fandom at large with more tact and care. They’re volatile and in a lot of cases I see people just, ignore the toxicity, in favor of a cute ship and that’s not great. Understanding flaws within characters is important, don’t be dense, don’t be misogynistic! Cause Aoi hate is usually that! Akane hate isn’t though as much as I love him he has his,,,low points (this entire post) and deserves getting thrown through multiple stained glass windows

Uh ninja out bye

[chaifootsteps]

I know a lot of the fandom already shits on BlitzStrike but I think that Blitz x Verosika gets more shit from Stolitz fans especially when people prefer Blitzsika over Stolitz and they try to say shit like it's just because it's straight or some shit despite the fact Blitz is pan and Verosika is probably also bi or pan since it's been implied she likes women but it was also shown in the most misogynistic way with Blitz's line about her "smelling like fish" which is actually a derogatory insult towards sapphic women so shows how much Vivzie respects not only women but lesbians especially and how apparently it's homophobic to prefer a ship over the popular gay ship just because it's "straight passing" because you can't be LGBT and attracted to the opposite sex apparently but then again criticising Helluva has always been "homophobic."

I even saw a commission artist say they refused to draw "toxic" ships like Blitzrika but they were perfectly fine with drawing Stolitz since they were a major shipper but you know what's funny? Blitzrika is actually more healthy than fucking Stolitz ever was! Sure they may hate eachother and are toxic but they are exes so it's perfectly reasonable that they hate eachother and it's only because Blitz fucked Verosika over and they had a major breakup but here's one thing that will piss Stolitz fans off... BLITZ ACTUALLY LIKED VEROSIKA! and not only that... HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH HER! Sure we may not know what their relationship was fully like but it was clear they actually had mutual feelings for eachother and Verosika liked Blitz so much she literally got his name tattooed on her! And clearly the reason she hates Blitz so much is because he used her! Sure Verosika may be a bitch but she has ever right to hate Blitz for what he did to her and there isn't any bullshitting around that even in the show! And it's clear Blitz feels bad for what he does for how he reacted when she called him a "wreckless heartbreaking freak" or how he still has guilt in his subconscious because if he didn't give a shit about Verosika. Why would he feel bad? Even if he hates her he still clearly does feels some remorse for what he did. And this is shit you can gather from the fucking subtext in comparison to the actual screentime you get with Stolitz. Blitz has been shown more times to have actually been shown to care about Verosika than fucking Stolas? What does that tell you?

Even if they have a fucked up relationship this was only after they broke up in comparison to whatever the hell Stolitz has going on! At least Blitz actually chose to be with Verosika and they clearly had consent! You know it's bad when toxic exes somehow have a better relationship than your so called main forbidden gay love story. Yet the fandom thinks an yaoi sex slave ship is somehow healthy gay representation but exes who happen to have had a messy "straight passing" relationship and now resent eachother over something the other did and are now toxic towards eachother and yet it's clearly shown they do still care about eachother on a surface face level which is something that is actually happens in real life is a homophobic straight ship?

I don't even ship it but I'd take it any day over what ever the hell Stolitz is and them getting back together would actually be much more believable than Blitz having feelings for Stolas will ever be. I honestly think it would be funny if someone pointed out that Blitz has been shown to love Verosika more than he has Stolas as while I do agree BlitzStrike is probably the best ship. Verosika is the only character that Blitz has so far been show to have actually had mutual feelings for unless Fizzarolli counts? But then again they have that weird sort of foster siblings implication going on so who cares? And even then there was still more evidence before Season 2 that Blitz had more feelings for Verosika than anyone else especially Stolas and I am not counting attraction since Blitz is almost always horny so whatever. Still Blitz feeling remorse and even showing that he at one point enjoyed spending time with Verosika is more convincing than whatever love confession they make Blitz give to Stolas.

Sorry for this awful rant.

No need for apologies, Anon, it was a good rant.

Striker, Verosika, Fizz...at this point, I would ship Wally-goddamn-Wackford with Blitz over Stolitz. Anything, anything but that.

[monsterkissed]

look i love fandom and fandom history as much as the next autistic queer but some of the “fandom elder tells you about how it was in the good old days” posts are straight-up historical revisionism. “back then fancreators and their readers/fans had healthy relationships where we respected free labour and didn’t harass people over what they made or liked and we had healthy communities uwu” literally what are you talking about. where. when.

i’m not even talking about the rampant bigotry (do you remember the reason “this contains yaoi m/m don’t like don’t read!!” was a common refrain?) i mean the entire comms that existed solely for insulting bad fanart or “sporking” bad fic. these weren’t just people outside fandoms mocking it, those calls were coming from inside the house and those comms were Popular. going thru ff or deviantart to find some poor kid’s mediocre work so you could put it up there for scores of other people to laugh at was a bonding activity. people put “no flames plz” in their descriptions and summaries because ye olde fandom loved to burn people to the ground for shits and giggles, c’mon

and it wasn’t one-way either. aside from fancreators picking on their peers, writers and artists could be plenty shitty to their fans. whenever i see those posts about how authors love comments on ao3 i am reminded of being back in the day on ff where certain BNFs would be openly hostile to the “wrong” kind of reviews. “don’t just say ‘i loved this!’, that tells me nothing, which is an insult to all the hard work i put in. but don’t leave long reviews trying to sound smart about it either, you don’t know my work better than me.” in fact the entire BNF ecosystem in general was an absolute toxic cesspit on fandom as a whole, as any given scandal from that era makes readily apparent. there were cliques and harassment campaigns and discourse and drama comms and tracing and plagiarism and suicide baiting and literal fucking cults and also the aforementioned rampant bigotry

there was no golden era that got ruined, you were just too young back then to realise how fucked up so much of it was at the time and now you’re old enough to see how fucked up the current stuff is. stop lying to children on tumblr dot com.

[piplicious]

Damien and Pip but they play Minecraft: Headcanons😱

Under the cut for convenience

Damien

Cheater. He's VERY impatient and full of constant persistent rage + has watched speedruns and it bothers him greatly that he can't have everything NOW THIS VERY SECOND

Sucks absolute ass at PvP. Good PvPers pay attention to the crit bar and know how to time their hits. Damien knows Smack Aggressively at Maximum Speed until It Dies. It's not very efficient.

None of his rizzful façade helps him not get bullied on servers. It's even worse than it was at school when he just came. God Forbid the server has a voice mod.

Blends in perfectly with younger human elementary schoolers but he's too Cool he doesn't Want that. It's Not cool to play with younger kids.

World's ugliest house ever on Earth but we love him anyway

You know those black+neon hoodie skins from 2010 that boys were obsessed with? yeah. that.

Pip

Skin? forgor

Maybe he'd struggle less if someone actually took their time to explain to him how to play and why you shouldn't break spawners. Alas, South Park.

"Wait you can kill animals? :("

If you show him minecraft wiki and give him some time to fuck around in singleplayer he'll be okay. Not okay as in what we think being okay at gaming means but okay as in it's Pip. We can't be mean to Pip he's a special little guy.

Servers are Hell 97% of time. Pip has the bad bad no good habit of trying to talk to people in chat and it's always a bad bad no good idea. But Pip just has to try everytime because he has the undying hope (that is ruining his life).

At this point even Butters and Dougie squished their way into cool kids servers already. Sad!

Adults are too busy being adults to join.

Egg Yaoi

But see, since both Damien and Pip struggle in multiplayers don't you think they could have an ultra extra secret little aternos server? It's beneficial for both of them because Damien can have someone to flex on (finally!) and it strokes his little rubber duck pitched ego and Pip is happy no matter what because he thinks that's how healthy friendships work.

Maybe one beautiful day Damien does something like what you'd expect ship headcanons to include, like leave little gifts or straight up share cool hard to get stuff with Pip but it takes some time. It's a very Serious Commitment, you know? What if he actually experiences joy while sharing and caring?? What if Pip sees through Damiens intentions and tells everyone that Damien is gay because that'd certainly realistically totally happen and everyone would for sure for definitely give a fuck about what Pip says?? That'd be soooo cringe right guys.

On the other hand, the only reason "Pip is gay" is not a common rumor around is that it's gay to play with Pip. Like totally gay. When Pip leaves little gifts or helps fight off in caves/at night it's totally gay but its secretly gay so that's fine.

Fuck it being secret doesn't mean it's any less gay in fact it sounds even more gay.

Oh no maybe Dip is real after all

[fatuismooches]

My previous asks about biting is just because i have cute aggression and your works are so cute (usually, one time i wanted to test out how dramatic my mascara was so i read some of your angst, cried) but now that i really think about it? my number one competitor is Il Dottore himself

It's my personal headcanon dottore has really bad cute aggression, sure it's mainly under control now because he's been alive for fuckinf Centuries (for all childhood friends works where the reader is male would it count as old man yaoi- *gets shot*) but with his lover? absolutely out of control

Maybe they're cuddling and his lover's hand gets close to his mouth? eated, chomped

childhood friends reader who has scars on their arms because of how hard dottore has bitten them

it gets so bad that the reader has to give him a taste of his own medicine, he bit them a few minutes ago and now he has his hand by their mouth? EATED (he gets so confused and then Realizes, unbeknownst to you, you started an all out war.)

Make sure to wear turtlenecks during the chomping war because if you walk past him wearing like, a tee-shirt he'll just move the collar of the shirt (or even stretch it, bastard) just to bite your shoulder and then act like nothing happened

after about the first week, you both look like you were mauled by a small cat.

Eventually, a truce is made, so it's not as bad, but you two still bite each other like feral cats.. It's just more provoked rather than "i have to get them back IMMEDIATELY"

So there's not as many bite marks everywhere, mainly on each other's arm and hands now because, what else are you supposed to do if your lover's hand is by your mouth? kiss it? fucking casual. Bite his cheek and watch him go absolutely insane though

some other harbingers who i think have cute aggression but not as bad

The second place is pantalone, he isnt bitey, but he will grab, squish, and tug at your cheeks aggressively if you say or do something cute whole cooing about the cuteness of what you just did

columbina will just, hug and squeeze you really REALLY tight if you do something cute, its hard to breathe but thats ok

the last and (funnily enough) least aggressive when it comes it cuteness, is childe, he'll hug you tightly (not as tight as columbina) and squish your cheeks, but only for a few seconds (unlike pantalone, who will literally make your face numb) he is lime a healthy mix of both of those two, he will get bitey however. - 🎈 pspsp smooches cmere i promise i wont bite you (lying)

🎈 ANON?? HELP IM SORRY FOR MESSING UP YOUR MASCARA I DIDNT MEAN TO 😭 (or did I?) But omg, I honestly didn't know what cute aggression was until now, thank you for informing me of this AND I'M GONNA BE STEALING YOUR HCS BC THATS TOO CUTE 🤲❤️❤️😭

I'm just. EXPLODING 💥 Bro doesn't know how to control his biting strength too so he ends up drawing blood sometimes 😔 (But it's okay since it's Dottore) I bet people assume the scars you have are from something cool like battles but nope... you got BIT by a human, multiple times at that. The first time it happened you probably let out a little scream because he's literally nomming on you unprompted and... you've never met anyone who does that 😨 I wonder if he even has an explanation for it or he just... does it? He just wants to bite you and he will, you can't stop him😭🙏

I mean, you get used to the random bitings, but if there's one thing about you, is that you will put him in his place if need be! If Dottore thinks he can just go on ranting about his research after fatally biting you, he's wrong 😒 He starts waving his hands around in excitement and you know what. Bitten. Nom-nom. Congrats. This is one of the very few times Dottore's rendered speechless. (Worst mistake of your life.) You know how regular couples give each other good morning/night kisses? Well Zandik does something like that... he just bites you unprovoked instead. It's the absolute worst during the Akademiya because you're sweating so hard trying to cover all of your skin but also trying to avoid getting nipped on the neck by that irritating deadly scholar 🫠 He is so nonchalant about it too 😒 But you're not. As soon as you land a bite you're grinning so hard and he's just like 😐 Ehehe... pretending to kiss his cheek and then nibbling on it and giving it a lil bite... I'm evaporating... i love the little love bites <3

THE PANTALONE ONE IS SOOO TRUEEE AWWW 😭🥺🥺🥺 I see him as very touchy so omggg him squishing your cheeks is so cute 😭 You would just be talking and saying something unintentionally adorable to him and all of a sudden he's cupping and then squishing your cheeks all while going on about how cute his darling is, and your words are now getting all garbled up 😔 it's A NEED. (Then he'll kiss your cheeks so gently if you get pouty cuz he pulled too hard :(( <3)

100% agreed on Bina she is. A MONSTER. when it comes to those hugs, you may faint if you don't build up some resistance to it. You can try to do it back to her but for some reason, she isn't really affected by it even if you muster up all your strength, but she still adores the notion! And Childe... RAHHH THESE ARE SO GOOD!! It's funny for him to be the least aggressive but his co-workers are something else I guess 😭 We love a king who's so affectionate but also won't kill you with it 🤭 I imagine if you return it he would be so flattered...especially if you're strong enough to actually keep him from leaving your hug. Now that's the good stuff.

🎈 anon 😳 you can bite me if you want, I don't mind 😌🫶