#what you did

[hang-on-lil-tomato]

I don't care who you are Where you're from, what you did As long as you love me Who you are, where you're from Don't care what you did As long as you love me

[pinchyboy]

Hey, I finally decided to post this.

Lemme know what you think.

There are 2̶ 3 imposters remaining

It has been exactly three months aboard the Skeld, it is a year long journey back to Mira HQ, and there is an imposter among us.

We've been finding bodies since the second month, and now out of a ten person crew only half of us are left. White and Cyan seem to have hidden themselves away, Purple and Black are either looking for them or doing tasks I don't know which, at this point I've degraded to pacing around the ship, finding no motivation to do my tasks if I'm just going to get slaughtered.I think we forgot each others names at one point in our fight to survive, I responded to the color of my suit as easy as my name, it helped that I chose Red. I've always loved the color red, I couldn't help but focus on the humming of electricity coming from Electrical, I sighed heading towards the door, it was better to fix the wires now then try and get back here and do it when the lights went out, the doors had closed behind me when the smell hit me, a sharp tangy iron, like pennies and oranges, blood. 

I hadn't been the one to find one of the bodies yet and now one lay right in front of me, surrounded by a growing puddle of blood, I knew I should have reported it, but no one would know if I took a taste first, right? No one but me. My helmet hissed when I disconnected it from my suit tossing it away to blend into the shadows of the room, my gloves went next tossed aside with my helmet, I approached excited, the blood tried to turn the bodies white suit as red as my own, I dropped down to run one hand through the blood, it was warm and sticky like watered down slime, licking it off my fingers was a well practiced movement, leaving behind all composure I scooped up handfuls of blood smearing it on the way to my mouth, I didn't realize that I wasn't alone until I looked up and saw Purple standing next to the vent, I couldn't help how I froze 

"Wait! It's not what it looks like I swear! I'm not the..." I tried to plead my case, when Purple’s chest split open into a maw of teeth and tongues

"Imposter.." The doors were locked when I tried to flee 

"Please! I'm sorry! Don't kill me!" There was a gruesome ripping noise and Purple was in front of me in seconds, I kept my eyes closed, not wishing to see my demise, when something heavy was dropped in my lap and a hand was placed on top of my head, my eyes opened on there own to gaze at the arm in my lap, seemingly torn from Whites corpse, the hand on my head moved in soft petting motions, I looked at Purple through my lashes 

"Oh! Uh, for me?" I asked a bit hesitant, Purple made a sort of crooning noise and pushed the arm closer to me continuing to pet my hair, I couldn't help noticing that my hair probably needed to be trimmed I could see the near black, brown color in the edges of my vision, I focused back on the severed limb, well I had been wanting to try human flesh for awhile, I just couldn't get the courage to do it to myself or anyone else, palms where supposed to be one of the tastier parts anyway, and my crew and I where immunize to the adverse effects of eating raw meat, human meat counted in that, right? That didn't help the hesitation I felt when biting down, I felt the finger bones crack easily under the force of my jaw, the white rubber suit kept me from biting into flesh though, despite gnawing on it. I didn't know I was making my frustration known until Purple patted my on the head and made an odd clicking noise that I could only interpret as amusement, I huffed at them 

"You don't gotta make fun of me." I told them, as they picked up the arm, they shredded through the suit and some skin as soon as they brought it down to the mouth in their chest, and then handed it back, 

"Thanks." I mumbled, glaring off to the side, until I took a bite, I had to naw on it a bit to get through tough skin, but I couldn't help looking back at Purple as I took more bites 

"It's good! Kinda like ~mhh~ ham! But kinda,.. Sweeter, I think and bloodier too." I told them excitedly, Purple hadn't stopped petting my head once, I honestly liked it though, at this point this has gotta be one of the best days ever, I was trying to get the meat from between the finger bones when the vent creaked open, I ended up trying to cower behind Purple, when Black stepped around the corner, Purple stepped forward quickly making drawn out noises, Black reciprocated, they seemed to come to an agreement, I couldn't help the fear welling in my chest when they both approached me, I tried to make myself smaller when Black knelt down, then they held out there hand presenting a eyeball with a blue iris, not a dark blue like mine but a gray blue instead, Purple sat next to me I glanced at them and they nudged my arm, I thanked Black taking the orb, they patted me on the head softly when I put the eye in my mouth, it had a smooth texture,like a marble and a touch salty, I rolled it around a little then tried biting into it, it was unsurprisingly rather mild but still tasted meaty, a part of it crunched under my teeth, I decided that I preferred the texture when it was whole, rather than the taste, I still ate it, it wasn't bad, though I went back to eating Whites arm, I laughed using it to wave at Black when he sat on my other side, both Black and Purple made cooing noises and ruffled my hair

“Pfft! Black stop it! Your hands are a mess!” I shoved said appendage away laughing, I grabbed it holding it up

“See?” I asked, showing the splattering of blood across it, presumably from scooping the eye they gave me, out of its socket. I pursed my lips, then lent forward

“Y’know what,here.” I told them, taking their fingers in my mouth before I could change my mind, carefully licking the blood from them. I couldn't help but notice that they had a completely different texture than I expected, more leathery flesh than rubber suit, did that mean the suits were a part of them? I cut my thoughts off to pull Blacks fingers from my mouth, and moved to lick their palm for a second,

“There! All clean?” I asked showing off their hand to them, Black gave me a thumbs up in approval with their other hand, I felt rather comfortable where I sat, then I had a hilarious idea, standing I looked around Whites corpse trying to find a glimpse of red among the shadows, I jumped when two tendrils slid past me to curl around the hidden shapes of my missing helmet and gloves, I glanced back at the two Imposters, finding that the colors matched up, Black’s seemed to be darker than the shadows around it, while Purple’s was a touch lighter and tinted, well purple.

“Thanks guys,” I grinned at them “hey do you wanna see something really funny?”

I asked tugging on my gloves and helmet

“But first, I look okay right? Not like I just ate part of someone?” I joked, awaiting a response, I got a round of amused clicking noises and pats on my head, not as nice when wearing a helmet, I brought out my Datapad, seeing the red ‘Report’ button that appeared when it sensed excessive amounts of decaying human material

“Okay, now watch this and back me up, k?” I didn't wait for a response before tapping the button, the emergency siren blared

“Come on!” I cheered dragging them by their wrists past storage and to the cafeteria, I took a deep breath when I saw Cyan already waiting

“Cyan! Thank goodness you're okay! Whites dead!” I hollered reaching the table

“What?!” Cyan yelped “Where?! What happened!” I had to stifle my laughing to respond in my best ‘worried’ voice

“The thing is, Cyan, all of us were together except for you.” I told him, I could feel when the figures behind me realized what I was doing and pressed closer, Cyan tried shouting his case, how it wasn't him, he pleaded for me to recount what happened in detail to clear his name, I obliged

“Well, first I was pacing around, when I decided to fix the wiring in Electrical, so I walk in and all I can smell is blood, and I find Whites body in the middle of the room!” Cyan gasped in horror “I saw Purple standing in the corner over the vent and they scare me half to death” I laughed, continuing 

“It had to be Purple then! Not me!” Cyan interrupted hopefully

“Shut up!” I growled at the cowering Crewmate “I haven't finished my story.” I said simply “So, Purple scares me and I try to run away, but the doors are locked, and Black comes crawling out of the vent scaring me more,I end up reporting the body, and here we are.” I finished cheerily

“So it's,Black?” He asked hesitantly, I pretended to think a moment 

“I think you're right Cyan,” I stated in mock surprise “Actually I think you were right both times!” I tell him reaching for my helmet. “Although you missed something, probably my fault, I’m not the best story teller.” I joke, watching his confusion “Hold on, it's a little stuffy don't you think?” I ask taking off my helmet, showing my blood stained face, and crushing any hope he felt with a grin, i'll admit he had good ‘flight’ reflexes, he was out of the room in seconds, I couldn't stop the huff of frustration I released

“I guess we’re gonna have to catch him huh?” I asked, then left out an excited gasp “Ooh! Can I do it? I haven't killed anyone before, let alone chased them down, it'll be fun!" I bounced on my heels a bit, looking up at both of them hopefully, I also just noticed how tall they both were, although I was a little under average on height, still these two had to be at least six inches taller than average, which was completely unfair, Purple seemed just as excited as me though, well I think, I don't really know their social cues or anything so I'm going off of gut feeling at this point, but they seemed to agree with my idea,

"But, can you guys come with me? Don't like, do it for me or anything! I just don't know if I trust myself against someone literally fighting for their life, so…" More head pats were given and Purple motioned for me to lead the way, I beamed at him before following where Cyan went, going past weapons first, giving the room a quick once over,finding it devoid of any near neon crewmates, I continued the trip down to O2 also finding it empty, I quickly backtracked from navigation before the red blinking camera could spot us, so Cyans in Security, but all exits from the cafeteria have cameras, meaning Cyan could be long gone before we get to Security if he sees us, so we need to disable the cameras, but he could still see us and have a head start, so we need to break the lights too, while there is a very small chance of him leaving to fix either of them, the chance is still there despite the most likely option to stay in Security, meaning we need a middle ground, so the Cafeteria doors next to Admin, but first

"So, you guys can sabotage things right?" That was an affirmative

"So we need to break, I think lights first, then Comms? Then go past Admin to hopefully catch him on the way or in Security. We got this." I said determined, going towards Admin, the lights went off, leaving the Skeld darker than I expected, but I got this, I got the thumbs up from Black that Comms were down, and took off in a dead sprint, I caught Cyan sooner than I expected, running into him outside of Electric, literally. I couldn't see him until I accidentally body checked him, taking us both down, thankfully in a position that let me pin him down, well kinda, he was struggling wildly making me have to readjust my grip repeatedly, not letting me do anything other than try keeping him pinned

"Just.Stay. Down already!" I spat, he seemed to ignore me "Purple, Black, a little help, please?" I knew they were nearby, at this point I don't think I could get them off even with a crowbar, not that I'd try, I relaxed a bit when both of Cyans arms were pinned, at this point he knew he was beat so the next thing he tried was talking

"How did three Imposters even get on board without us noticing?" He asked a bit subdued as I tugged off his helmet

"Three? What do you mean three?" Did human faces really get that expressive? It has been a few years since I saw someone without a helmet on, but still!

"There are about to be three accomplices to my murder, so three" He replied with a glare "Well that doesn't mean I'm not human, silly!" I teased him with a tap on the nose, he was struggling again "In fact," I continued "You should be excited, you're going to be my first victim! I know I am." His eyes were wide as I started on the cyan suits fastenings 

"Wait, so you're a Crewmember?!" I nodded absentmindedly, tugging off my gloves,"And, and you haven't killed anyone!" "Yet" I interjected, finally getting to the suit zipper "You don't need to do this! There are two of us, we can still get these monsters off the ship!" I paused to raise a hand, and slapped him as hard as I could,grabbed his jaw, looking him straight in the eye I spoke "shut up, don't. You. Dare. Insult them, they have been nothing but kind to me, and I think I'm ready to start now." I looked up for a moment, "Do either of you happen to have something sharp I can use?" I asked politely.

[noodles-and-tea]

Haha… yeah… that’d be crazy…

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Okay, but hear me out -- what if his parents weren't usually red and blue?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[foccaccia]

the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth

[jabberwick]

Human Bill Cipher

(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)

And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

funniest news blurb i've ever seen actually. "there was a plot to kill trump last weekend. no not that one. totally different one. we figured out about it beforehand though so we heightened security at the rally. yeah that rally. yeah the one where-- yeah. yeah that one."

[julnites]

Red riding hood comic collab with the wonderful @yeehawpim (go check out their blog for loads of great comics!) 🌷 See the layouts he did here!

[rotisseries]

that being said I'm not actually always opposed to conflict free fluff I am just opposed to the characters having their claws filed down for it. you can stick them in a coffee shop au it should just still feel like you sat the two worst most insane people on earth in a starbucks

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)