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prettyboykatsuki · 11 months

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TEXTBOOK CITATIONS ON IMMORAL SEX | S. GETOU ft. F. TOJI

✮ tags ; porn no plot, afab + fem!reader (good girl, little girl once sarcastically by toji, pretty), mild degradation (dirty girl, a bitch in heat), professor!getou + security guard!toji, dubcon, imbalanced power dynamics, age gaps(10+ years), mild coercion / blackmail, spit play, wet ‘n messy sex, face-fucking, oral (f +m!recieving), spanking, restraints, dirty talk, creampie / unprotected sex, 18+

✮ wc ; 10.6k

✮ synopsis ; You’re willing to do anything to pass your intro course. Whatever it takes. No cost is too high.

✮ a /n ; a comm for the beloved @fushironi !!! thank you for commissioning me and letting me post your work. if anyone is interested in a commission i will be reopening them at some point this month hopefully

A SIDE NOTE: THIS IS VERY CONSENSUAL!! but the relationship is inherently unethical so the dubcon tag is there. and this is. just smut. no plot no brain. just porn.

You're failing ethics.

You're failing ethics and failing it badly.

You refuse to take all of the blame for your failures. Some of it is your fault, but most of it is the fault of your good-for-nothing academic advisor. You're not sure what they get paid for, since it seems like there's an elaborate prank going on between staff and you're the only one not in on the joke. In what universe is it possible, plausible - that an individual could get paid for doing everything but their job?

Apparently this one. But whatever.

In your last semester of university, on the edge of graduating and totally on the right track - you're informed that you're not going to be able to graduate in the expected time frame because you are missing a single course. You learn this information about two days before registrations close, which means all the meaningful classes contributing to your major are booked and busy. Everything is full, and everything that isn't doesn't contribute to your degree. As in, even if you took it - it wouldn't give you what you need to graduate.

After a full-blown mental break, a long night crying yourself to sleep in your dorm, and an egregious amount of begging - you managed to snag yourself a class. It wasn't ideal by any stretch of the imagination, and it did put quite the strain on your schedule. Straight out of your 8am lab - you had to speed walk to the other end of campus and make sure you made it to lecture. The lecture time itself was an hour and twenty minutes, attendance mandatory, twice a week - which meant you had to delay lunch again till afterwards and learn on empty fumes till 1 pm.

Still, better than not graduating at all.

You'd hoped (expected?) that the course itself would be about average in coursework. For one, it's an intro class. Intro to Ethics or PHIL-2467, with Professor Getou Suguru. Secondly, the actual listed coursework seems simple enough. Discussion boards, reading analysis, and a few papers made up for most of the grade. The expectations were outlined as clearly as they could be.

You didn't really know anything about Professor Getou at the time, only that his ratemyprofessor described him as somewhat strict but mostly good.

In any case, you'd consider yourself lucky. And in an effort not to freak out about your circumstances, you'd practically chanted to yourself each night the same mantra. Everything was going to be fine. You've taken nearly 120 hours of coursework, and a little extra time won't kill you. At the start of the semester, you fully believed it too. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and utterly naive.

How could a single course torment you like this? You hadn't the faintest clue. At first, it struck you as odd that the course felt as difficult to grasp as it did. The readings were complex and extremely long but always said a lot of nothing. Much of your grade was dependent not only on assigned work but participation and discussion. The paper criteria was only simple on the surface, but proved to be too lengthy to comprehend and too difficult to fulfill.

Long story short, the class was kicking your ass. And the ass-kicking slowly progressed into a failure so bad it was laughable. You're in your final year, and that means taking a lot of difficult and specified courses in relation to your major. You were at the point where your classmates were starting to thin out, and you were seeing the same group of people you had as a freshman. As far as prioritizing goes, a 3-credit hour course that isn't technically meaningful to you falls to the very bottom of your priorities. You're more concerned with things like job-hunting and finishing your capstone and all the stuff related to your actual career.

So you've been half-assing all the papers and exams, falling asleep in class, and lowkey straight up ignoring the weekly discussion boards.

However, above everything else, the worst part of your class is your professor. Professor Getou Suguru. PhD in Comparative Ethics with a Masters in Cognitive Science.

You didn't really have a chance to speak with any of your friends about Professor Getou, despite it being in your best interest - because you only knew you had the class two days before it started. You'd come to learn only two things about him after attending. First, he's a complete hardass when it comes to grading any assignments, and second most of his merit comes from the fact he is ridiculously good-looking.

He can't be any older than his late thirties or early forties, which means he's young. Young enough to be attractive but old enough for most of your peers to thirst for him in unhealthy ways. He's at least a decade and a half older than you, and by god does he make it clear.

What they don't tell you about college is that there's nothing that can make or break a class more than your professor. Everyone is always too worried about everything else, about getting their schedule right - that they often overlook this basic tenet of college life even though it's so crucial. The worst part is that while various websites rating your professors are helpful, you won't truthfully know how you feel about a professor until you've met them in a classroom. You've had professors with lower ratings be absolute angels, and professors with higher ones being some of the most useless in your entire academic career.

You were hoping that Professor Suguru would be what you expected. That his astounding 4.5/5 would be a meaningful assessment of his character, that he would be tolerable and polite and understanding and that your semester would be smooth sailing because of it.

But of course, of course - that couldn't be further from the truth.

You don't know at what point exactly your relationship to Professor Suguru became as sour as it is right now. There's no real pivotal movement where mild intolerance became full-blown and outright distaste. But part of it, you know, stems from the fact your beloved professor is a snake.

You have no idea how no one else notices it. It genuinely feels like you're the only one who catches the subtleties of his behavior. There's just something about him that's a little…off. The irony isn't lost on you. He's an ethics professor, but something about him makes alarm bells go off in your head. A walking red flag, though a handsome one. He's off in a subtle way, but more than that - he's very openly smug to every single one of his students. It's just that no one else seems to really care. The air of pretension that surrounds him in his every movement is suffocating. Maybe that's part of the charm, if the way girls flock to him after class is anything to go by.

Even so, you just know there's something deliberate about his casual cruelties. He always seems to pick out the quiet kids, and from the beginning of your semester to now - he always, always manages to single you out of the crowd of students. In every class, in every discussion, in every chance he has to make you out to be a troublemaker he will.

Yes, you don't really have any idea how it started. But you've been keeping a long record of every single act of personal terror that damned man has been inflicting on you since the start of the course, and you're not unconvinced that your shit grade is in part because he wants to see you grovel in front of him.

The first time it happened - you figure it was a coincidence. He had called you out in class after you missed a discussion board. You hadn't done the reading, and it wasn't obviously humiliating but it singled you out all the same. When you fumbled coming up with an answer, he gave you a smug smile that so quickly morphed into a fake sincere one, you wondered if you were imagining things.

The second time was when you came in late after a walk of shame, and Professor Suguru greeted you by the door by asking if those were the same clothes you wore yesterday. After being completely mortified by it, the once dark gaze immediately rescinded to his usual fake-calm self. It was suspicious, but not the concrete evidence you needed.

And the third time was after your first project of the semester. Your grade was lower than you deserved, and you knew it - so you went to his office hours to bitch and moan to get it bumped up. But he wouldn't budge, saying that he thought his assessment was accurate. Made a smug face as he told you he just didn't think you thought your points out through. Unfair critiques shielded by flowery words and polite gestures. It was that moment that cemented the dislike, though it wasn't the start.

The beginning of the end, so to speak.

Ever since then, you've harbored nothing but dislike for him. You can see past his pretty face and you don't see anything good. You've had unpleasant professors before, but none have ever targeted you so specifically. None of your previous professors, even at the worst, seemed to hold such an unbelievable personal grudge.

You're all alone, fighting an invisible battle.

The worst of it though, is that you simply couldn't be bothered to give a shit about it for most of the semester. You had way too much going on, so you just had to put up with the inexplicable dread of attending that class until you had to deal with it again eventually.

And after months and months of avoiding the issue head-on, you're at a point where you can no longer do so. Your grade is officially below a C after bombing your last quiz, and there's only 5 weeks left until your semester is over and you're barred from graduation.

And you have no fucking idea what you should do about the situation.

There's a subtle pit of dread in your stomach as you enter your first philosophy lecture of the week.

For the first time since the start of the semester, Professor Getou doesn't antagonize you as soon as you enter the door. In a strange way, this makes you kind of uncomfortable. He gives you his usual fake smile, but the fact he's gone out of his way to leave you alone makes you feel like he's planning something.

You brush your paranoia aside as you take a seat in the back of your class. You don't have any friends in this lecture, at least not ones you do more than greet. You sit closer to the back of the lecture hall, tucked into a corner and up a few steps.

The charms on the end of your book bag zippers click together as you take your seat. You open your laptop - pulling up the lecture slides to pretend to study while opening 2048 to play while Professor Getou goes on about his business. You're hoping he's going to go easy on you today, and that his lack of interference is a sign of mercy.

More people start to trickle in and the classroom is the usual amount of packed it is by this point in the semester. The last day to drop passed last week, so the number of students has decreased despite it being spring semester.

Your professor starts his lecture as soon as the clock hits 11:30am. You look up from your computer, watching him as he sets up his slide deck and waits for all the conversation to settle before he begins talking.

He catches your eyes briefly before he continues, but he holds it for long enough that you know it's intentional. You frown at him, and it almost looks like he laughs - but you can't be sure your mind isn't tricking you into thinking that.

"Good morning everybody," His voice is smooth and pleasant - hair tied up neatly. He's wearing his usual attire. Black slacks, and a loose-fitting white shirt with some kind of canvas shoe. "How's everybody hanging in there? Good? Bad?"

He takes a look around the room, gauging peoples replies before chuckling.

"Not in good shape huh? Stick it out, a few more weeks and you'll be out of here. Today, we're going to continue on into section five of our coursework - the shortest of all of our other sections," He grabs something that clicks the slide into the next one, a few images next to a wall of text "We have a lot to cover in the last few weeks, but I want to start with a refresh of what concepts we've been learning for the last few weeks."

The swiftness in the way his eyes land on you is comical in its predictability. You give him an uncomfortable half-smile as he calls your name and brings the class's attention your way. A few looks of pity don't go unnoticed. You stiffen, straighten your back as he says your name slowly before asking.

"Do you think you can tell me, what are the four core structures that define modern Japanese philosophical thinking?"

There's real, uncomfortable weight to his gaze that makes you choke. You pull back slightly.

"Uhm, well - there's Shintoism, Confucianism, Buddhism and western ideology. Primarily German idealism."

He gives you a smug look, the same one you always see before it fades off to an uncannily brilliant smile. Not a sincere one, because when is it ever - but there all the same.

"Someone's been studying hard huh? But you are correct. We've spent the majority of this class going over the first three. How Shinto tradition, Confucianism, and Buddhism were experienced in Japan - isolated from Anglo-Saxon influence for the first few centuries of its establishment. We've also studied the vague historical timeline of these influences, mostly focusing on modern philosophy. We've covered Edo period philosophy as a precursor for what we know and understand now."

You can say a lot about Professor Getou, but more than anything - he has a certain way of commanding the room's attention that never lets you get completely comfortable. He has an air of charisma you've never seen in your life and being in close proximity to it makes you feel like you're being swept in by waves larger than life.

You fidget almost anxiously as you wait for him to continue his lesson.

"Our last few weeks are going to cover the culmination of your previous lessons, and what dictates both national morality and the hierarchy of modern Japanese social mores - Bushido. The way of the Samurai."

Professor Getou continues with this slide deck as he outlines Bushido conceptually. From its existence as a moral code in late 12th century Japan, to the many misconceptions about the strictness in which it was adhered. He starts the lessons like he starts many others, explaining misconception and myth before touching the surface of the subject at hand.

It's in his nature to advocate for the whole truth. From the start of your classes to now, Professor Getou always places the same emphasis. If only that truth is unable to be understood without opposition. It's like his whole being is constructed by it, opposition that is always radical and jaw-dropping. You've known this about him since he voiced his open critique for certain ideas about social welfare and about the emphasis of national morality.

You can't be certain what he really believes - only that he'll voice his views as critically as possible, if only to stir the room.

"Bushido is the heart and soul of modern and postmodern Japanese ethics, but it remains critically undefined despite its usage and citation functionally. Other philosophical schools of thought have strict definitions - Bushido is evolutionary in nature. Inazo Nitobe is primarily credited with the modern and popular interpretation of Bushido, but has received criticism for its obvious influence from Western ideas, and its comparison to chivalry."

Professor Getou sits back on the edge of his desk with a look on his face.

"The tendency of Japanese philosophy to lean into metaphysics does not align with the many values of infrastructure and military present in the culture now, but I'm not going to critique the philosophy for you," He skips to the next slide, your last project of the semester on the wall "For the sake of brevity, I'm going to have you write a paper on one of the eight outlined ideals in Nitobe's work, and I want you to reflect on that ideal in your paper."

A collective whispering erupts in the class as people stress about the assignment of their final few weeks. Not unexpected given the circumstances. Professor Getou doesn't flinch as he waits for the room to settle down.

"This will be your final project in this classroom, and will count as your final grade. On one hand, doing a good job on it means you have nothing to worry about for the last few weeks. On the other it's make or break," He locks eyes with you again as he says this, startling you as his smile grows coy and inauspicious "So if you're in need of a good grade to pass you, I'd recommend coming to see me during office hours or during one-on-one time so I can get you the grade you need. We'll discuss more at the end of class, but we've gotta get through more lectures so you can get an idea of what you can pick."

He gives you one another look, another pointed and obviously direct look, before he proceeds on with his lecture. It gives you a bad feeling in your stomach, and maybe you're being too self-centered thinking he's focusing too much on you.

But you can't help it, swallowing down your uncertainty as you continue on with the lesson.

You need to pass this class.

___

You meet up with Nobara after the fact.

She's a good sounding board for your problems as usual. Where you're always looking for the most civil solutions, she's good at giving it to you straight on what you should do. She's no bullshit and you like that about her. Whenever you need a kick in the ass or an ounce of courage, she's the person for the job.

So after meeting up for lunch, ranting again about Professor Getou (for the hundredth—no, thousandth time), and whining about his weird behavior, you're expecting some semi-sound, if not mean advice on what you should do.

"Have you thought about just fucking him?" She says instead, her voice full of sincere boredom. It comes out so casually, like she's relaying the news cycle to you - and you can't help but be utterly shocked listening to it. "Not that it was my first suggestion, but I mean…it's getting ridiculous."

"Hello? Where the hell did that come from? What do you mean just fucking him?"

She gives you a sideways glance of disdain as if you were the one saying something unreasonable. She leans forward into her hand mirror, gluing on her eyelashes for her afternoon date with Maki. She scoffs when she realizes your shock is genuine.

"Are you serious? Does this not read as an elaborate scheme for this total jackass to fuck you?"

You're flabbergasted. Surely she's not being serious with you.

"Nobara."

"Haah? Tch. Don't make that face. It's a gross abuse of his power but well, he's not ugly. If he were any younger of a professor, would you like… not assume that was the end game?"

"Nobara, he's a professor of ethics. His whole career is ethics."

"Yeah. Like. The perfect cover for wanting to screw his wide-eyed, desperate students. He's a hot, young professor. Not my type but you get me. Don't you think it's a little naive to assume his personal vendetta against you is shit, I don't know… totally lacking that motive? Think with your brain, not your tender little heart for a minute, okay?"

"It's not that!"

"Really? Just like your relationship with Mr. Fushiguro is totally platonic?"

"I said it was one-sided, not platonic."

"You're my whole heart and soul, you know that right? I didn't freak on you when you said you had a crush on Megumi's deadbeat dad. You're my salvation from the idiots we call guy friends. So I'm saying this with love, and not as the complete bitch you know me as - you're being dumb."

"Nobara, are you seriously saying you think this whole thing is about him wanting to," You can barely even get the words out. You're not that much of a prude but god. "Wanting to have… sex with me?"

"Yeah. What else would it even be? I think an awful man is interested in screwing you - a hot, capable twenty-something. Are you stupid? Is that like, sooo impossible for you to consider?"

"Well it's not the first place I would think to go, that's for sure."

"And that's your whole problem. Don't get me wrong, again, totally gross. Is it like.. a total abuse of his authority? Yeah. But that doesn't have anything to do with you personally. If I'm right, and you fuck him - you get a good lay and to graduate. And you need both."

"Nobara!"

"Don't be mad, I love you, okay? But I'm thinking about your future and your prospects. There's nothing wrong with it on a technical level."

"That is so untrue and you know it—"

"Look. I don't like it. I think it's a weak move and kind of corny and gross. But you've been planning your big graduation for years. And it's not a bad opportunity, and you're not a complete idiot. You said before that he's never inappropriate with the other girls right? You might even be the only one. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason for you to not get laid and pass."

"Oh, so the student-teacher thing isn't reason enough?"

"Not if you wanna graduate it's not."

The two of you remain at a stand-still as his words trap you into a corner. How the hell do you even deal with this information? And how on Earth is she so sure of herself anyways? You think you're pretty good with signs, at least about things like this.

But it doesn't feel like flirting. He's never flirted with any of the students in class, despite how much they seem to fawn over him. Could this weird, psychological dance you've been doing for the last twelve weeks be some sort of unspoken foreplay ritual?

The more you think about it, the less it seems implausible to you. There's a wave after that, some cross between impending doom and shameful arousal blooming up inside of you as everything hits you all at the same time.

When you return to reality after being trapped in your thoughts, Nobara gives you a mindful (almost pitiful) smile and shakes her head. You frown at her in reply, squeezing the bridge of your nose.

"If it were like literally anyone else, I'd totally tell them it's a bad idea. But it's not like you're going on to date him, and you're what - 24? because of your gap year so you're not a preteen like some of the freshmen in your class. I just don't see any reason not to go for it."

You tamp down the small voice in the back of your head, encouraging you to do - and instead ask her a follow-up question.

"...Do you think I should attend his office hours tomorrow, yes or no? I have to email him by tonight to get the one on one."

"Yeah. Yes. And shave before you go."

You decide, for the sake of your sanity and everyone else's - to ignore Nobara's odd implications about what Professor Getou wants from you and to attend his office hours.

(That's a partial lie, you figure - given the fact you did shave, and shower before attending. You're wearing something kind of nice underneath. But you still don't think he wants to fuck you. It's more of a safety precaution than anything else.)

You made the game plan last night that you would go, present your idea, and then beg him to be kind to you during the grading process. You even developed a list of things to sob and cry about it to generate something of a sob story if everything went awry. You've forsaken your pride. The only thing that you need to get out of this meeting is a passing grade.

And that is, of course, by any means necessary.

Fearing for your life, the state of your mood improves as you approach the building hosting Professor Getou's office. Of all of the people you interact with semi-regularly on campus (all of which you are quite fond of), Nobara wasn't lying about your affection for campus security guard - Toji Fushiguro.

He's an older man. Older than you by double digits, and from what you can tell - older than even your professor. You've been fond of him ever since he brought you back to your dorm after a horrible break-up with your ex as a sophomore. He's got a rough edge, and there's plenty of unverified rumors of his past. You know that he has something of a criminal record too.

But for all of those rumors, and for all the things you hear about him - he's been one of the highlights of your campus experience. You've had a one-sided school-girl crush on him ever since that night, because you were sober enough to catch his body and how it feels. He was strong. Not in an average way. He made it so effortless when he was carrying you home in his arms - and it's not the first time you've seen him lug around things at least over 300 pounds like they were nothing.

But attractiveness aside, he is uncharacteristically good at cheering you up. He's funny and witty, all while maintaining a cool facade. He's endearing in his own way too, and you're a little head over heels for him though you'd never push yourself to make the first move.

Still, when he sees you come towards the building - he greets you with a wide smile. The scar over his busted lip - split open and welcoming as you run up to him for a hug. He's normally patrolling around campus, so it feels lucky to catch him where you least expect.

He wraps you up with a single arm, your feet temporarily lifting from the ground before you get put back down again.

"Mr. Fushiguro, what are you doing here?"

"I got moved over here since there's been some rumor about someone stealing from the labs upstairs. So I'm on lock up duty for this building 'till it gets fixed up and solved," He says, voice as smooth as ice "What about you sweetheart? It's gonna get dark out soon."

"Ah, I have office hours with Professor Getou today. I need to consult with him about a paper."

"That right? Just gonna be you in there, then?"

"Yep. I'm gonna go in there and beg him for a good grade on our next assignment. So for the sake of my sanity, please wish me luck?"

Mr. Fushiguro tilts his head to one side, grinning.

"Wouldn't that mean you graduate sooner instead of later? Can't wish ya luck on that." He says, making you flush and letting the feeling linger before continuing "Just kiddin'. A pretty face like yours should do you just fine. Knock 'em dead."

"I feel a lot better about it with your encouragement." You say honestly. Mr. Fushiguro gives you a laugh.

"Treat me to something if my luck makes any difference. And hurry in. Last thing you'd wanna do is be late."

You nod, wide-eyed and dazed by how charismatic he is before you rush into the building. It's silent, given how late in the school day it is. Most people have already gone home, with the exception of the other poor souls likely chasing down their professors for the same reasons as you.

You feel an overwhelming sensation of dread as you encroach upon Professors Getou's office. There's no one else in the close vicinity, only a few closed classrooms and students who are passing by the small corner where his door resides - most of which are making their way to leave.

You decide to take a deep breath, calming your shaken nerves before knocking politely once on his door and entering the room.

Professor Getou's office looks like how you'd expect it to look. It's clean, and sleek - and lacking almost completely of items of personal effect with the exception of his desk. It's the first time you've ever been inside of the room before, but it smells distinctly of him. He has that same scent surrounding him, like flicks of nicotine and a hint of bergamot. Sweet with the taste of metallic bitterness, like blood and sugar.

You feel the back of your throat bob as you see your Professor sitting at his desk. It's lacking his usual gracefulness. His shirt is unbuttoned down by three entire buttons, and his slacks seem looser. Most notable is his hair - classically long, now in a loose bun with pieces falling all on his shoulders and rolling down his neck.

You think of what Nobara said to you earlier in the day alone, a strange and overwhelming sensation of lust and embarrassment making it difficult for you to open your voice and talk.

It's Professor Getou who greets you first. He looks up from whatever he was reading and looks at you from where you stand awkwardly at his door. His smile widens, though it's just by a little.

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd be here. Looks like you're right on time." He says first, sitting up in his chair but not bothering to gather himself in any way otherwise "Come on in and sit. I assume you're here to talk about your grade."

You sit across from him hesitantly, hands folded in your lap as you put your bag down on the floor.

He studies you quietly. There's a long stretch of silence, where neither of you do anything but sit in each other's company.

He breaks the silence first.

"So, while I have a guess," He says, elbows on his desk "Do you want to talk to me about what you're here for?"

You've practiced the dialogue in your head so many times now. What to do and how to say what you need too, but the words seem to fizzle out completely when it's time to really say them. Leaving nothing but uncertainty, you open your mouth only to close it once again.

"Uhm," Your voice strains trying to make the words out into a coherent sentence. "I came to talk about my paper. And my grade, like you mentioned in class."

"So you decided to heed my advice? Good girl, that was a smart choice," You try not to be taken aback by the pet name - unsure if it's as inappropriate as you think it is "Do you know what virtue you want to cover?"

"I thought I would pick uhm, righteousness - and then pull from some of the Western ethics we learned about. Making uh, connections between deontological ethics and duty and how it relates to the defined idea of righteousness," You explain nervously, an uncomfortable laugh bubbling out of your throat "How practicing duty and righteousness relate to each other."

"Hmm. Sounds like you've had time to think about it a little, then."

"I uhm, haven't finished the reading but I did take a look over my section to see if I could make it work."

"I think you have something to work with. You'll need to straighten out the thesis of your paper into something more tangible. I know that's an ironic ask. But I think it's a good idea," He gives you a brief glance, studies you with eyes. Snake-like. Something coils inside of you, tickles and brushes against your skin and makes the hairs on the back of your neck raise "It seems like you have something more to tell me, though."

Do you? Is there anything more there? The answer lies indifferently on a scale from obviously to no. nothing at all and it haunts you that he's able to pick it out.

"It's just well. Uhm. You know, I don't have the best grade in this class so I was more prepared to go down with my grade. You approved quicker than I thought you would."

"Your grade is pretty abysmal. Did you come in here planning to beg?"

You refrain from an instant yes, even though it's what you feel. Something about the way he says it makes your stomach clench. Your heart quickens. Your tongue feels too heavy in your mouth as you laugh uncomfortably.

"Something like that? Uhm, or at least try to hash things out between us. I know our relationship over the c-course of the semester has been kind of sour so I…"

He cuts you off.

"Has it?"

Your brain stutters to halt.

"Uhm. Yes?"

It's unpredictable, utterly and completely - the way he reflects on your words like you've said something incomprehensible. You aren't sure if that's sincere. You can't be sure if any of the words out of his mouth are. But he doesn't seem like he's lying. Your mind flashes to Nobara, and you find yourself speaking before you can stop it. It comes out like a flood.

"I j-just always assumed you singled me out in class because you didn't like me? I don't mean to be accusatory, though."

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong idea," He says, shaking his head "I don't harbor any negative feelings for you at all."

"Oh," You say, eyes falling down to your lap again "Right, then."

"You must be desperate for that passing grade, hm? If you're meeting with a professor you think hates you."

You glance at him.

"Well, yes. I want—need to pass this class. I've already planned my graduation for this semester."

"And you'd be willing to do anything for that, is what you're implying?"

"Yes," You say, with a sudden rush of unwavering confidence "Anything."

"Let me ask you another question, then." He lets his elbows rest on the edge of his table, a familiar coy smile "Do you think there's any other reason for why I've been paying special attention to you, aside from me disliking you? You're a smart girl, so I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out."

The weight of his words don't go unnoticed. The air feels heavy as it hangs between you. He couldn't be implying it so directly could he? Your mind drifts back to Nobara's warning to you, and your breath hitches. Your eyes widen as you glance up for the first time and give him a look of mild distress.

And he smiles. His grin widens as soon as it dawns on you.

"Seems like you've reached an important conclusion," He says, casually - as he sits up in his chair and leans back. Stretched like nothing could get in his way "Why don't you share with the class?"

"You," Your voice is a nervous tremor. You must be crazy. You must be completely out of your mind "...To sleep with me?"

"See? I told you, you're a smart girl."

The question is a burning one. One you've been wanting to ask since you started thinking about it last night.

"B-but…why? And why me? A-and,"

"You have a tendency for being combative. You know that? An air of defiance. I can tell you're a little older than your peers. A little wiser, and a little more knowing of when to ask for help," Getou outlines, staring you down "And seeing you with that sense of desperation was exciting for me. I'm a man of simple tastes. At my age, I know what I want."

"And I like when tough, combative, clever women turn into babbling, desperate, needy girls. I'm quite fond of it, actually."

He's detrimentally serious. Your stomach flips.

"Do you want to pass this class?" He asks you, an air of confidence surrounding him. You close your eyes, unsure if you can call it coercion when you're feeling so terribly willing about it.

"Yes. I need to pass."

"Then come up here," He gestures, widens his legs and leans back in his chair "And sit."

Your body is burning. You don't know if you're even really in the situation, or if you've daydreamed it into something impossible. Something phantom moves you. Stands you to your feet shakily before walking in short strides. Professor Getou looks at you from where you stand over him.

His hand brushes your outer thigh, patting it.

"Sit."

So you sit. You spread yourself and straddle your professor - and the reality dawns on you the minute you touch what you're doing. You haven't gotten laid in a bit, and he's nothing like anyone you've ever slept with. You feel out of your element. You get the impression he's a man, a grown one. There's a confidence in him that looms and looms and looms, overshadowing any of your doubt.

He's sexier up close. There's the faintest trace of smile lines on his expression as you look down at him. He guides your arms to loop around your neck, and holds your hips with his hands.

Then you feel it, almost instantly - something hard and bulging pressing against the seam of your pants and against your crotch. He's already half-hard and he hasn't even kissed you. He grins at you lazily, like a cat with cream.

"I'll pass you as soon as I put it in," His hands are so big - long, slender fingers gripping your ass "And give you extra credit when you cum for me. How's that sound?"

You feel dirty. It's all happening so fast. Almost vulgar, but it's impossible to feel cheap. To believe in the wrongness of it when Professor Getou is so undeniably sexy. Wrong, on so many levels, to do this for the sake of your grade. Or just in general. Yet you want it, yearn for it, find the culmination of all your annoyances melting as he graces you himself.

"I wanna pass," You say, uncharacteristically nervous about everything. You add the next part a little quieter "...I want it."

"What do you want, exactly?"

"Want you to fuck me." You admit, against your better judgment "Please?"

"Gonna make a real pretty mess out of you," He says, voice smooth and serene. You look down at him. His knuckles brush against your jaw, on your cheek before his thumb holds on your lower mouth. His fingers push past the edge of your lips, sliding against your tongue and gently running along your teeth. He gags you on it, so slightly - enough to startle you but not enough to hurt. You feel spit pour from your lips.

Thick messy strings of drool drip down the sides of your mouth. You want to back away in shame. But there's an air of intention behind the gesture. It's deliberate, the action - the mess and how it runs down your neck. Before you know it, he's kissing you in that same state.

Professor Getou kisses like he's done it before.

His hands grip on your ass as he kisses hot and heavy. Self-assured, he sucks and bites at your mouth - sticking his tongue in and mixing his saliva with yours in a way that feels downright dirty. Yet it makes you throb, white-hot flames licking at the back of your thighs. The sparks of arousal crawl up your skin.

Your nerves tighten as Professor Getou cups your face with one palm, kissing you with fervor. You melt into him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Been thinking about what you would look like bent over my desk all semester," He says as he pulls away, looking on with admiration at your messy complexion "You wanna go on ahead and show me?"

Another wave of embarrassment washes over you, but you find yourself standing to your feet. Sliding your sweats off down your legs - your lower half is left bare with the exception of your feet. You lay or stomach on his desk, the cold wood sending chills up your whole body and your stomach and tits lay flat and squishy against the hard material. You stand, shoulder width apart, and present yourself in front of him.

"That's what I like to see," His voice is rich and deep as he speaks. You can feel him inch towards you, pulling you apart with his palms before his hand comes down on your ass in one hard motion. The noise echoes against the walls of the room "See, I knew you could listen well when you had to."

You don't say anything in reply, pressing your cheek against the desk.

"W-what do I call you?" You ask, your voice trembling. You feel his fingers against the seam of your panties. He snaps the cotton waistband against your skin before humming thoughtfully, a light tap to your ass.

"Getou is fine. Suguru is too. Sir if that makes you more comfortable."

Getou makes a show of fondling you, though you can't see it - you can feel the way his eyes nearly swallow your naked lower half. How his fingers touch and prod all of your sensitive places, with some kind of keen observation. Everything Getou says is like that, keen and particular.

"Such a pretty pussy on you. Would've been such a waste if you didn't come to me."

You don't bother to ask what he means by that. Behind you, there's a noise. Of a chair rolling back, and the dull thud of knees hitting the ground. Before you know what's happening, there's a face dangerously close to your clothed pussy. The minute you try to squirm, there's a tight grip keeping you in place. He takes a deep breath. Without any real hesitance, you feel his tongue lick across the clothed material.

In one fell swoop, he pulls your panties to one side and kisses your clit without any more real introduction. You're gripping the edge of the table you're bent over as you feel his tongue slide against the wet folds of your pussy, making your voice cry out involuntarily. Normally people would urge you to be quiet, but you got the feeling he didn't care if anyone heard you crying out for him. You get a second wave of intuition telling you he might even like it.

A sensation of bliss washes over you as he sucks hungrily at your cunt. It feels good enough to be holy. There's such immense expertise in it that you can't help but succumb to it completely. The warm, heavy muscle gliding over sticky folds.

You're so lost in the pleasure, your mind completely blocks out the intrusion. The sense that would detect another person in the room disappears completely. You only know because of Getou, the way he stops and scoffs. It forces you to blink your eyes open. He speaks before you get the chance.

"What are you doing here?"

You recognize the voice instantly, and your heart drops through your stomach.

"Thought I heard a ghost howling," Mr. Fushiguro says, his voice is rougher and deeper and older "Turn out it was just a little girl wanderin' into the woods."

"If you can see I'm busy, why're you still here?"

You can't help but feel the second wave of overwhelming shock as you sit there, naked and unafraid. Still, they stand like nothing is wrong. Chat like they know each other somehow, but you have no idea in which way. All you can focus on is the bubbling, nauseating shame.

"Oh god." You voice, but both others ignore. Mr.Fushiguro speaks first.

"This one is off-limits, Suguru. What kinda professor goes around fuckin' their innocent little students?"

"Just the one, Mr. Fushiguro. And I'd like to get back to business."

"Ah, no way I'm letting you off the hook. I could report this y'know? Make headlines. Ethics professor coerces student into sexual activity. It'd be big.

Your heart drops.

"Fuck off, would you? Does she look coerced?"

A beat of silence. "Nah. Not with the way she's twitchin'. But it's not fun if I just let you go. How about you tap me in and I'll keep your little secret hm? She's gotta cute crush on me already."

Your heart flounces around in your chest, a muffled noise of shock escaping your lips as you squirm to move but are held, still, so firmly in place. Your expression and feelings all go through 5 stages of grief before settling at dumbfounded. They don't especially ask for your input, but you hear Professor Getou behind you.

"Fine, if it'll get you to shut up. And I'm fucking her first."

Strange. Nothing about today makes any sense. You don't miss the almost childish sense of competition in Getou's voice that changes your view of him in an instant. Humanizes him in the strangest and most unrecognizable ways. It lacks his usual virtue.

Mr. Fushiguro walks up in front of you, imposing. He's grinning, a well-worn smile on his face that you know. He helps you up, and you keep yourself upright on your arms as he grabs your chin with his palms. You look up at him wide-eyed, unsure of what to do.

"Dirty fucking girl aren't ya?" He says, though he almost sounds like he's impressed with himself

"You into older men or is it a coincidence you're screwing 'im for your grade?"

You're speechless, and you moan a little pathetically as Getou doesn't stop eating you out. This only seems to make Mr. Fushiguro even more excited. You look up at him through wet lashes, unsure of what to do.

"Don't mind either way, just curious. Guess I'm a little sad 'cause I thought your little heart eyes around me made me special," He tells you this looking down at you, eyes locked. You can tell he's just teasing you, and it makes you twitch "But I guess that's not true, is it?"

"You're different. I uhm. Well it's true at least."

"Yeah? You're just letting both of us fuck you 'cause you're like a bitch 'n heat?"

You flush. He gives you a smile and a well-meaning laugh that makes your body feel warm with heat.

"Mind if we're a little rough on you, sweetheart?"

You shake your head.

"Good. Stick your tongue out and open your mouth for me then."

You listen, oblige the instructions almost obediently. Your face is still covered with spit from before. You watch idly, intently - as Mr. Fushiguro pulls his cock out from his black pants. The loose material covers him well, but as soon as they're down past his thighs - the outline of his cock borders on intrusive. Your eyes widen, fluttering and unfocused because it's hard to think about anything while feeling such intense pleasure.

But Mr. Fushiguro is captivating as he pulls himself out for you. His cock is thick and heavy, protruding but too much that it can't stand up on its own. Weighed down by gravity, you stare at it wide-eyed. It's the size of your forearm, so thick you can't possibly imagine what it feels like.

Your heart stammers.

"It won't fit in my mouth." You say, gasping for air as if you're already suffocating on it "You're—you're so huge."

He laughs with an edge of snark. You blink at him in complete seriousness, taken aback. He lets the tip of his cock tap the plushness of your cheek before pressing against your lips. You stare at him, almost afraid.

"Of course it'll fit," He says in confidence "Just gotta make sure you're relaxed. So relax, sweetheart, and open your mouth for me."

Hesitantly, you open your mouth wide. You feel the corners of your lips stretch around the intrusive, thick head of Mr. Fushiguro's cock. The taste of sweat and skin is invasive and heavy, violating your senses. Just the tip and it barely fits in your mouth. You try and concentrate, sticking your tongue out and curling it around the underneath of his cock, focusing on sucking just the tip. He groans above you, a hand on the back of your head. He doesn't force you down, but you can tell by the twitch in his fingers that he wants to.

"Look at you," He says, his voice coarse with restraint and desire "You're drooling on my cock while you're professors busy eatin' your pussy. Thought you were an innocent girl, but now I don't know what to believe."

He says this as he eases more into your mouth, slowly letting you adjust. He rocks his hips back and forth until you relax. You open yourself up, trying to focus on blowing him.

But a hand comes down on your ass, hard and heavy - making you yelp. The noise is muffled but audible. A short squeal, you can't turn your head to look

"Don't you think you two are getting too comfortable upfront without me? I'm the one who decides your grades."

"Maybe you're not doing good enough for her to care."

You can feel a strange sense of competition between them, but you're too occupied to ask about it. How do they know each other, and for what reason do they seem so automatically hostile? It bothers you, but you can't think about it too hard.

"That's not true. Her pussy is soaking fucking wet." He punctuates his words with a harsh smack against your cunt, the force rippling through your as you bend forward and choke "Almost as messy as her face."

He's quick, again, to latch himself to your clit. He flicks it with his tongue, licking it mercilessly as your brain starts to fog up with desire. Like he's trying to prove a point, you moan around Mr. Fushiguro's cock as your pleasure starts to thrum up again. The back of your legs tense, trembling as a knot begins to uncoil in your lower stomach. The cock in your mouth moves too, using the distracted moans to ease himself even deeper into the wet, arm cavern of your mouth.

Your head feels heavy, body weak as the both of them use you to their contents. Your stomach starts to stir as a familiar feeling of euphoria claws at you.

You cum for the first time like that, your body pressed against a wood desk - restrained and under careful watch of two men. Your whole body explodes - white, hot nerves fraying off and ricocheting off your ribs inside of you. Your insides shake as the wave of an orgasm washes over your entire body. You gasp, clenching down hard and gasping as tremors of orgasm pulse and push through your whole body. Something in you ignites as you grip the edge of the desk for your life, trying to keep yourself upright as Getou pushes you through the orgasm.

You've barely recovered when Mr. Fushiguros pulls out of your mouth, pressing his spit-soaked cock against your face and cheeks with a smile. You let it slide against your tongue, eyes fluttering open as your face gets covered in precum and saliva.

"You look so fucking filthy right now, you know that? But it looks good on you. I'm dying to fuck you."

"Mr. Fushiguro," You groan. He clicks his teeth.

"Toji's just fine sweetheart."

You whimper helplessly as you ride out your high. Behind you, your professor pulls away. You peek behind you to see him, flush as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Toji looks down at your frazzled expression with a grin, teeth showing as he cups your jaw a second time and slides his cock back in one go. This time, he pushes his cock in the base - keeping your throat around him with a hand on the back of your head.

"Just focus on me for now, baby. Focus on sucking me off, yeah? Just like that, easy easy. He's gonna open you up. Stretch you nice and make your pussy all sloppy. That's what you want right?"

Getou leans over you, the weight of his body looming as you feel slender fingers slide through your sticky folds. His middle and index brush against your abused clit, rubbing a few circles into it before pulling away. He grabs your arms and positions them behind your back, gripping them in one hand to keep you restrained. You squirm against the gesture, unable to get any leeway as he holds you down. Then you feel his fingers move, middle finger catching on your wet hole as it trembles and sticks. He opens you up like this without any warning.

His middle finger goes first - delicately intrusive as your pussy widens to accommodate him. They're so much bigger than yours. Just one feels like two of your own. You push back out of instinct but Getou doesn't let you move. He buries himself, pushing in and out until he's able to fuck your pussy all the way down to the knuckle. Once there's no longer any resistance, he pulls back and makes room for another. The sensation is duller, lets you clear your head and think even as Toji rubs his cock on your face and fucks your mouth in short ruts.

Not enough to make you choke, but enough to smear something hot and nasty all over you.

Professor Getou repeats the process with his pointer, pushing and stretching and opening until you can't fight it anymore. With two fingers, he scissors them trying to make your insides soft enough for him to take you.

"You're stretching out for me like it's nothing. You must be turned on, hm? Like getting all your holes used like this? Getting your face-fucked by a man old enough to be your father?"

Toji laughs harshly, smacking your face lightly, enough it doesn't hurt but enough to make you feel it.

"She loves it. She's clenching down on you tight ain't she?"

"Sure is. All this for a grade. Maybe I should've bullied you about it a little more first. Since you're so eager."

"Gonna give her extra credit for this?"

"I should deduct points for the fact you're even near here."

He laughs good-naturedly at this point, and you're still having trouble making sense of their relationship. You manage to speak for the first time in forever, voice barely there as you go to question them. You're not expecting any solid answers.

"How do you two know each other?" You ask, before Toji starts fucking your mouth again

"Goes a long way back. And we're still on bad terms, so congrats on bringing us together, sweetheart. Kind of an expected reunion really."

"He's been working here since Professor Gojo and I were students here and we knew him from before. A long story. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

The burning question is quick to fade out of your mind as you feel your professor's clothed bulge rest against your cunt. You moan, a clipped needy sound as you nearly beg him to fuck you. Toji bends over you this time, reaching back to spread your pussy open by grabbing your ass. You can feel the grip of his hands, strong and assured.

"She's gettin' impatient. Give it to her."

"Don't need your help with that." Getou spits, irritation sounding in his words.

"Consider it an apology."

The air of tension is there temporarily, before Getou pulls his cock from the confines of his boxers. You can't see it, eyes squeezed tight as you work your mouth and tongue Toji's length. You can feel it though. He makes a show of rubbing his cock against your puffy, sore cunt. You get a feel for its shape as he pushes it between your thighs and lets it cling in between your lips. Professor Getou's cock is longer and more narrow, but it curves upright. It's hard, throbbing between your legs. Whining helplessly you wiggle your ass again. You feel increasingly restless about needing something inside of you. You're still bound though, completely and utterly unable to move. Toji's hand comes down heavy on your ass as you do, clicking his teeth in faux irritation.

"Don't fucking move unless you want my handmark on your ass forever," He says, his voice cool and forgiving "Impatient."

Getou must feel something inside of him merciful enough to keep you waiting. Even with all the stretching and prep, the minute you feel the head of your cock push through - something inside of you snaps. It's still so big, still too much, still reaches a part of you so deep you didn't know it was there. The position itself - still being on your stomach, makes it reach so much farther than other positions. The raw, skin-to-skin contact leaves your tummy fluttering, skin prickling with heat. Your top is pushed up enough to expose your lower back and your skin is pulsing. You feel like your whole body is on fire, suspended between men so much older than that want nothing more than to fuck you.

Every time you try to wiggle away from the sensations, Toji's hand comes down heavy on your backside. It doesn't matter how minuscule the movement. If he gets the idea that you're going to try and pull away, he spanks you hard enough that the room echoes with the sound. Your skin tingles, phantom sensation left before as you're held open and made to take your professor's cock - obedient and wanting.

Inch by miserable inch, it takes forever to take him down to the base. Your toes curl, eyes shut and mouth sloppily trying to keep up with the cock in your mouth and just barely succeeding.

He groans behind you, shuddering

"That's incredible," He praises, and it feels so good to hear him saying something so overtly kind you don't know if you want to laugh or cry "Your pussy is fucking incredible. Shit."

"You hear that? You gotta. Pussy's twitchin' like crazy. Ass is too, how cute."

"Feels sho good," You slur, brain clear of any and all rational thought as a string of saliva drips down your chin "Please fuck me, please,"

"You heard her teach."

Toji lets go of you and returns back to where you are. He pulls his cock away from you, instead holding you up and cupping your mouth open. He kisses you, after everything - with all of his pre-spend in your mouth before spitting into it harshly and kissing it again.

"Such a pretty face you're makin' right now." He says, something of a warm and unprecedented affection to it "So excited to get your pussy filled up."

He leans you on him, lets you wrap around his midriff, and squeeze tight while he pets the back of your hair in a strange streak of affection. You don't know what to make of anything. All you can feel is the long cock pounding into you without any mercy. Razor-sharp thrusts, nudging against your swollen g-spot and pounding into your cunt with immeasurable force. A man so much older than you is fucking you, pounding your pretty little pussy, and turning you into a complete mess. He's meant to be a mentor to you, but he has his cock imprinting itself inside of you over and over and over.

Your stomach feels hot again, but some other feeling takes you over as Toji cradles you - watching you just as intently. He talks you through with confidence you can't entirely understand.

"Yeah, that's it. Tighten up for him, just like that. Feels good doesn't it? I know baby, I know."

You whine out in Toji's arms as he talks you through it. Behind you, you feel Getou's grip hold you tight as he pistons you. The sound of his thighs smacking against your ass is noisy, almost as noisy as your pussy. Slick wet, sounding each time he thrusts.

"I'm not gonna last like this, shit." He pumps into you a few more types before his hips stutter to a halt. He cums with his cock buried deep inside of you, filling you all the way to the brim. You feel his white, hot seed fill your belly, cock twitching as he unloads and makes your legs shake.

A sense of emptiness overwhelms you as Getou pulls out, landing a hit on your ass as he shakes. He kisses your spine.

The two of them switch places without communicating with each other about it. Getou pulls out, and away - coming back in front of you and picking you up in his arms as Toji positions himself behind you. He spreads your cunt out with his fingers, examining the seed left over with a light laugh.

"Gonna fuck into your sloppy little cunt, give you another load where you need it and make you cum." Toji says, not hesitating at all. You feel your breathing start to quicken as he takes the same positions as before.

Toji doesn't neglect touching you as his arm curls around your waist, calloused fingertips brushing against your clit before his cock pushes into you. Your pussy takes him much easier, but even so - Toji is just so thick, you can't help but feel him all over again. This time, Getou has you in his arms, holding and guiding you. Your hands are curled around his bicep and lower spine as you're held up.

Toji's thrusts are slower, but just as rhythmic - focused on bringing you to another orgasm. It's duller this time, the sensation more focused and spread. Toji is so big you feel it in your hips, your entire lower half tingling as he pumps his cock in and out of you. He gives you all of his attention, staving off his own orgasm as Getou encourages you with his own words.

"Gonna cum again, pretty? Take another man's cum in you right after me? You want to, right? Take it all in, every drop. You've earned it."

You feel your insides tighten again, for a second time - in a miraculous span. Every muscle in your body tenses and contracts as both sensations work in tandem to bring you closer to your edge.

Your nerves fire off a second time as you push yourself to the limit. Toji fucks you through another orgasm with ease, thrusting with each tremor until you've ridden out your high. His own orgasm and chase come not long after that fact.

As soon as you've gone totally limp underneath him, he sheaths himself as deep as he can. Bent over you, he cums hard and deep, filling you to the brim a second time.

There's a brief moment of silence as Toji rides out his high, where all three of you sit in silence.

You find yourself limp as you lay there, Toji pulling out and Getou slowly letting you down before you look up with a tired expression.

"...So, did I pass?"

Your professor laughs harder than you've ever seen him laugh.

"With flying colors."

#toji x reader #getou x reader #toji smut #getou smut #writing tag #jjk x reader #dubcon cw #age gaps cw #blackmail cw #coercion cw #lmk if i missed anything

2K notes · View notes

captainfern · 1 year

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this is a request but i accidentally deleted it 😭

“hi babes. ur work is amazing but im sure you know this. im also sure you have lots of requests so please take your time getting to this one. but I was wonderingggg if you could do one where price is the friend of the readers dad? they've been hooking up in secret for a while but at a little house party, they sneak into someplace private and do the deed. ive seen so many other ffs about this with other characters so ikkkk price would fit this. thank you again <33”

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Marigold

dbf!Captain John Price x fem!reader

[“Marigold” by Nirvana]

[18+]

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• summary - price is your dads best friend. he asks you to meet him upstairs during a party. you fuck lol. • rating - 18+ • wordcount - 4.4k • warnings - fem!reader, dad’sbestfriend!price, established relationship? kinda?, unprotected piv, age gap [whatever you want it to be as long as it's legal lmao], fingering, recording [consensual], oral [f!receiving], praise, strong language

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You fidgeted with the hem of your dress, looking at yourself in the mirror. You ran your hands down the fabric, smoothing the wrinkles, smiling at yourself. You looked fucking good.

Downstairs, a big neighbourhood party was in full swing— something organised by your father. It was a comfortable get together to unwind before the summer holidays, complete with all of your neighbours from down the street, and even across the block.

The dress you were wearing was new. You brought it recently, actually. You liked to convince yourself you got it because you were treating yourself, but in reality, it may or may not have been a 2am online purchase after a considerable emotional breakdown. But hey, same thing, right?

It was shorter than you thought, mid-thigh, if that. The colour was pretty too, your favourite. It complimented the complexion of your skin, accentuating your figure, showing off a significant amount of leg. You smiled at yourself, doing a quick twirl.

Hot as fuck.

The party was bustling. You had arrived home late, apologising profusely to your dad before rushing upstairs to get ready. So, over the gentle thrum of the music, you weren't surprised to hear your dad call your name, hurrying you to come and greet the guests.

You bounded down the stairs, dress fluttering against your thighs, and made your way into the kitchen. You tried not to feel awkward when copious pairs of eyes turned to look at you as you shuffled towards your dad. He put an arm around your shoulders, holding you to his side for a moment, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

"There you are. Come say hi to everyone."

You did. Humming along to the music as you went, you individually greeted each of the guests. You plastered on your best people-pleasing smile, responding cheerily to the same fifty fucking questions everyone asked you.

How are you? How is work? Have you figured out what you want to do? Any plans for the future? Met anyone special?

By the time you made it to the edge of your living room towards the other side of the house, you felt a headache coming on. So, you excused yourself back into the kitchen to get a large glass of water. Your father was just departing, leading the congregation of neighbours outside. By the smell of it, someone was on the barbecue.

You were left, alone, in the kitchen, nursing a cold glass of water, listening to the music you were skeptical your dad had actually chosen. There were some good songs, surprisingly.

You placed your glass away as your dad walked in, heading for the sink. He wriggled in next to you, rinsing his hands under the water.

"You okay, honey?"

You nodded. "I'm fine."

He smiled at you, drying his hands on a towel nearby. As he did that, the doorbell rung, echoing through the house, just audible over the music.

"Oh, can you get that? I just need to take these outside..." Your dad said, scooping a couple of extra wine bottles off the counter and heading outside.

You walked through the house, heading to the front door. You opened it with a polite smile spread across your features. It drooped slightly, catching sight of the man on your front porch.

"Captain Price." It was meant to be a greeting, but it sounded more as if you were stating a fact.

He offered you a small smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He had a bottle of whiskey tucked beneath his arm.

"You just never want to call me by my first name, do you, sweetheart?" He chuckled as you stepped to the side, allowing him entrance.

You blinked after his form— strong, hulking shoulders, a lean abdomen paired with a slight narrow in his waist— as he meandered into the entrance hall.

"John makes you sound old." You quipped as you followed him into the kitchen.

He laughed. "I am old."

"Not that old." You said.

It was somewhat true. He was a similar age to your father, and they were best friends. They'd been in the military together before your dad retired to have a family. Price had always checked in on him, especially when he had time off work. You had known him for a while. Met him a couple of times when you were really young— not that you could remember, anyway— and then you saw him a bit more frequently as you got older. You hadn't seen him for a while up until today. Captain John Price is a busy man.

You felt your body begin to heat up once the pair of you were in the kitchen.

Well, the last time you saw him was a couple of weeks ago, before he was set to be deployed to some foreign country—

"That's it, thaaaat's it, don't talk sweetheart, just take it," Price whispered in your ear, chest pressed to your back. "Don't talk. Just take my cock, there you go. Take it, love. Doing so good for me."

He had you bent over his kitchen counter, his house dark around you, the early hours of the morning apparent by the inky black sky visible out of his windows.

You couldn't talk, even if you tried. You had been trying to whimper to him, moan his name and his rank and tell him what you wanted, but you couldn't get the words out of your mouth. He had left you speechless with the way he continuously hit that spongey spot inside you, making you tighten and gush around him.

Bodies flush together, sweat accumulating between you. Your skin was on fire, hands and tits flush with the cool countertop as he fucked his cock into you, harder and harder, your knees smacking the underside cabinetry. His grip on your hips was vice-like, keeping you steady, his pelvis smacking into your arse.

"S'this my going away present, sweetheart?" He chuckled as you choked on another string of moans caught in your throat. "Fucking perfect. I better get another one once I'm back, yeah?"

You nodded deliriously, finding your voice. "Yes, Price, fuck, I promise, I promise—"

Price cleared his throat, snapping you out of your little flash back. He leaned against the kitchen island, hip bracing against it, having placed the bottle of whiskey down. He folded his arms across his broad chest, arms looking especially good in his black jacket.

"Your dad around?" He asked.

You nodded towards the backyard. "Yeah, he's outside. Did you want me to go get h—?"

You were cut off as Price grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him, pressing your body to his. Quickly, he cupped your jaw and placed his mouth to yours, backing your lower back up against the counter. You had your hands against his chest as his tongue slipped into your mouth, one hand on your jaw and the other balled at your hip. He pinched the fabric of your dress between his knuckles, still keeping his fingers tucked into a fist.

Just as you whined into the kiss, your hands travelling upwards, Price stepped back. Commotion outside drew him right across the kitchen as the back door opened and your father came in. You discreetly wiped your face. So did Price.

That was unexpected.

Your dads eyes lit up when he saw Price, and Price smiled at him.

"John! Didn't think you'd make it!" Your dad beamed, pulling Price into a hug.

Price slapped your dad a couple of times on the back before they released each other.

"I flew in last night," Price admitted. "I won't stay long. Just thought I'd pop in and say hi. Oh, I also brought this."

Casually, Price stepped past you and grabbed the bottle of whiskey off of the counter behind you. You breathed in his cologne as he passed the bottle to your dad. You had to force yourself not to close your eyes and whine.

"Jesus, mate, this is an expensive bottle. You shouldn't have."

"No worries, mate. Enjoy it." Price replied.

Your dad turned to you, showing you the bottle, and you had to pretend like it was the coolest thing ever, since your dad seemed absolutely ecstatic.

"You see this, honey? This is good stuff."

"Oh, I bet." You said.

Your dad turned to put the whiskey in a cabinet nearby. When he turned back around, he let his eyes fall on to you, and his gaze softened, a small smile still evident on his face.

"I didn't say earlier, but that's a really nice dress. Nice colour, too. You look beautiful." Your dad said.

You felt your lips quirk at the edges as you hid a bashful smile. "Oh, thanks."

Your dad nudged Price. "It's a nice colour, don't you reckon, John? Reminds me of our deployment in Damascus. Remember? That nice lady selling all those shawls..."

You could tell Price wasn't really listening to your dads military-era story. His eyes were on you. It felt like he was absorbing you whole. Eyes darkening, raking up and down your body, admiring both the dress and the way it clung to you. The pinpoint of his tongue darted across his lips as his gaze travelled upwards from your legs, resting now on your face. You cocked your head at him, ever so slightly, biting your bottom lip for a second. He followed the movement, blinking and looking away, clearing his throat as his cheeks dusted a light shade of pink.

"Yeah, nice colour. Suits you." He grumbled.

After a moment, your dad led Price outside and you watched them go. Your body thrummed in time with the music, buzzing from where Price had touched you just mere minutes ago. You felt warm.

•º•

An hour or so later, the congregation of people had moved back inside, happy and full after the food outside. Darkness had fallen now, music still loud and just slightly vibrating the drinks resting on the counter in front of you.

You were talking with your neighbour, a girl just a few years older than you, who you had known for quite some time. The conversation was actually nice, and you found yourself enjoying it. Until she had to leave, and you were once again left standing alone in the kitchen. Until, of course, Price sidled up beside you, still a respectable distance away.

"Meet me upstairs. Give it a minute, though." Was all he said before he vanished from the room.

No greeting, or small talk. Straight to the fucking point, clearly.

You downed the rest of your drink, letting a good long couple of minutes pass before you decided to head up the stairs. As you ascended, you looked around, seeing no one paying you much attention. Your dad was on the couch, telling a good dozen people one of his usual thrilling stories of his time in the military. You smiled to yourself as you reached the top of the stairs.

You made your way into your bedroom, humming to yourself. You didn't see Price straight away, so you flinched when he slammed the door closed behind you, jamming your desk chair beneath it to keep it locked— it was an old house, with no locks on the bedroom doors— and striding across the room.

You had no time to react as he put a hand to the back of your neck, holding gently but firmly, and pressing your mouth to his. You whined desperately, folding your arms along his shoulders and carding your fingers into his hair, knocking his woollen hat off. He wasted no time in shoving his tongue into your mouth, smoothing it against yours, drawing soft noises from your throat.

He walked you backwards until you both fell against the bed, him overtop of you. He didn't once break the kiss, even when he used one hand to pry your legs apart, forcing them to hook around his hips as he pushed you further onto the bed, crawling after you.

"Missed you." You whispered, pleasure straining each syllable. He had broken away from your mouth, kissing along the curve of your jaw and down the expanse of your throat. He nipped at the soft skin of your neck, licking along your collarbone, still heading southward. He got to the neckline of your dress, pressed taut to the swell of your breasts, rising rapidly as you breathed. He ran kisses along the soft flesh, running his hands up and down your waist, revelling in the softness of the fabric and the warmth of your skin beneath.

"Such a pretty fucking dress," He muttered, teeth skimming the line of the fabric. "Took everything in me not to flip it up and fuck you in it... right there in that kitchen."

He yanked it down, letting your tits spill out before him. With a soft grumble in his throat, he pressed his mouth to your left one, drawing your nipple into his mouth, circling it with his tongue. He looked up at you whilst he did it, admiring the way your eyes fluttered, struggling to maintain eye contact as the pleasure built.

After a moment, he released it with a slick pop and moved to your right tit, mimicking his earlier actions. You moaned his name, gripping his hair, massaging his scalp. He groaned, mouth wet and hot against your delicate flesh. His hands had moved now— one running up to cup and massage your tits as he sucked, and the other travelling down the length of your body.

Your body hummed in anticipation, tingling as he gently flipped the bottom of your dress up, exposing your underwear. Still sucking kisses onto the mounds of your breasts, he dipped his hand past the hem of your underwear. Two fingers made contact with your slick core, and you arched further into his mouth, moaning loudly.

"Fuck me, you're soaked," Price grunted, releasing your swollen nipple and sitting back on his haunches.

Impatiently, he yanked his hand out of your underwear and ripped them away, the cotton snapping against your thighs, breaking with a loud tear. You whimpered as Price stuffed the material into his jacket pocket, swiftly pushing his fingers back towards your core.

They ran up and down your slit, collecting the excess arousal that was drooling from your cunt. He slowly dragged the digits through your folds a couple of times before he pressed the tips to your clit, drawing tight circles. You gasped, arching for him, moaning his rank as he replaced the two fingers with his thumb. His two fingers were immediately at your dripping entrance, circling.

"So wet, sweetheart. Absolutely dripping," He mused. "What's got you all wet and needy?”

You mewled at him, sensation-overload and he had barely started. Your tits were slick with his saliva, cold in the air of your room. He was still circling your clit, your arousal making his movements audible if you listened hard enough. The music downstairs was dull and echoey, as if you were underwater. Then, his two fingers, the tips barely grazing your soaking hole. You could scream.

"Eh, sweetheart? What's got you soaking your pretty little underwear, hm?" Price asked, still giving your clit attention.

"You." You whine.

"Me?" Price chuckled. "What about me?"

'You're... you're making me wet, Price," you almost sob. "Need you so bad. I missed you."

Price liked that answer, clearly. He pushed two fingers into your cunt, letting out a breathy moan as your silky walls clamped around the digits. You keened, whimpering like some kind of wounded animal as he buried his fingers to the knuckle before dragging them all the way back out. He plunged them in again, and a pace began, almost in time with the base of whatever song was playing downstairs.

"This my welcome home present?" He asked, shoving his fingers repeatedly into your tight cunt, wet sounds reverberating around your bedroom.

You nodded. "Yeah. M-missed you—"

Your lower stomach was tingling, coiling tight. Already? Fucking hell.

"Missed you too, sweetheart," Price leaned up to press a chaste kiss to your lips. "Couldn't get this pretty face outta my head. Couldn't get this pretty cunt outta my head, either."

He leaned back, settling on his ankles as he watched his fingers drag in and out of you, coaxing wave after wave of slick from the depths of your cunt. He moaned, really fucking loudly, at the sight.

"Can I... can I take a video?" Price asked, breathless.

You felt yourself burning up, stomach flipping. You nodded, whining a "yeah" as he reached into the pocket of his jeans and fished out his phone. His fingers slowed for just a moment as he readied his phones camera.

"Wish I had a video when I was deployed," he whispered, more to himself than you. "Had to rely on my imagination."

His words made you moan.

"Yeah, just had to remember those pretty sounds you make, and the sight of this pretty cunt stretched out around my cock," He groaned, turning the flash on to combat the hazy lighting in your bedroom. "Came all over my hand imagining it was this cunt 'round my cock."

He hit record as the movements of his finger sped up. You mewled, whining, arching off the bed and pushing your aching core further onto his hand as he fucked his fingers into you, thumb rubbing tightly against your puffy, wet clit. The sounds were obscene, like foley sound effects, soft squelches with each push of his fingers. You could feel your arousal pooling out of you, down the soft skin of your thighs, across the curve of your arse, bleeding into the sheets beneath you. You imagined that Price's hand would be absolutely drenched.

He was making soft, deep noises in the back of his throat, watching his fingers, phone focused on their movements. He flicked his eyes up to your face, not moving the camera though. Your facial expressions were easy to remember— chewing at your bottom lip, slight furrow in your brow, lips puffy and wet with saliva, eyelids fluttering. That was for his mind only.

You moaned, breathy and high-pitched.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"Gonna... gonna cum."

He withheld a moan at the sound of your sweet desperation. It made his cock throb angrily within the confines of his boxers, already painfully hard the moment he had pushed you onto the bed.

"Go on then, pretty girl. Cum 'round my fingers," He muttered, and you did— creaming around him with a violent twitching of your legs, cunt spasming around his fingers in a burst of arousal, splattering up the length of his forearm. He smiled lazily behind his phone, muttering; "That's a good girl."

"Price—!" You cried, halfway between a moan and a sob.

He hit stop, tossing his phone aside and pulling your thighs apart. Nestling himself between them, his breath fanned out across your soaking folds. You tried to lift yourself off the mattress to see what he was doing, but you couldn't. When his warm tongue licked a fat stripe up your sensitive slit, you flopped backwards.

There wasn't as much foreplay as usual… in the sense that Price shoved his tongue directly into your drooling cunt. He ignored your overstimulated clit, probably for the best, as he lapped at the arousal that was still leaking from you. He moaned happily against your folds, nose pressed just below your clit. It nudged the swollen bundle of nerves every few seconds, and it made your hips buck, electricity zapping the base of your tummy.

You had both hands in his hair, pulling him closer and urging him on. You tugged gently at the strands, massaging his scalp, making him grumble appreciatively below you. His hands were hard and warm against your thighs, making you tingle. Your tits were still exposed, the rest of your dress pooling around your waist.

You could still hear the rest of the party happening downstairs. A small jolt of fear passed through you. If anyone— especially your dad— came searching for you, you'd be fucking dead. Whoever it may be, would find you spread out on your back on your bed, legs spread and panting, a man probably more than twice your age between your thighs, eating you out like his life depended on it.

The fear turned to thrill, and you released a shaky breath.

Your second orgasm rolled over you quickly, and Price dragged it from you with a moan of your name against your cunt. You keened, uttering a sickly sweet "captain!" before coming in his mouth.

"Fuck, yeah, that's it." He murmured against your folds, sucking up the arousal that pooled at your fluttering hole. It always made you embarrassed, the way he literally talked into your cunt, his words vibrating your core. He groaned again, humping against your bed covers, pressing the outline of his aching cock into your mattress. "Such a good, wet cunt. Tastes fucking divine."

He pulled away. You watched him hazily as he shed his shirt and pants, then his boxers, his hard cock bobbing against his stomach. You salivated at the sight as he gripped himself, moving to scoop some of your arousal into his hand. He coated himself in it, pumping his hard length, eyes raking down your body.

"So beautiful, sweetheart," he murmured, leaning over you and kissing you again. His cock settled at your entrance, fat head leaking pre-cum onto your already glistening folds. "Just made for me, weren't you?"

You hummed your agreement, barely able to keep your eyes open. He kissed you again, tongue probing, hot and wet. You whimpered, feeling his tongue skim your bottom lip, drawing further desperate sounds from your panting mouth.

Price cursed. "Fuck. Can I record another video?"

You nodded.

"Words, sweetheart, come on. You should know that."

"Yeah, okay," you said sheepishly. "You can record again."

He kissed your nose, then shuffled back, grabbing his phone as he kneeled between your spread legs. He flicked it to his camera, flash on and hitting record. His phone followed the movements of his cockhead, rubbing up your slit, smearing your arousal. Then, with no warning other than a shallow, animalistic grunt from the depths of his chest, Price pushed his cock into you.

He tried not to cum on the spot at the way you tossed your head back, moaning as your silken walls clamped around his cock. Your fists balled your sheets, twisting, as you scrambled for some kind of anchorage as he pulled out and thrusted back in, shunting you up the bed.

His pace was gruelling, sticky skin colliding with a wet fap fap fap. Your eyes rolled, mouth agape as breathy strings of whimpers fell from your lips. His cockhead nudged the plug of your womb, slamming into that spot that had you twitching and spasming.

"My good girl, my fucking good girl, look at you, taking me so well," Price muttered, definitely audible on camera. You clenched around him repeatedly, drawing throaty grunts from him. Your third orgasm was, not surprisingly, approaching quickly. Really fucking quickly. Especially when Price moved his free hand from your waist to toy with your puffy clit, giving it a light pinch before circling it. You sobbed out, clawing at the sheets.

"Captain, please—!"

"Fuck... beg for it... please, sweetheart, fucking beg for it." By the way Price was speaking, he was close.

Your cunt throbbed at that, a whine in his words.

"Please, Price, need to cum. Can I? P-please—fuck—please, captain, need to—"

He groaned, trying to mute himself as much as he could, sinking his top teeth into his bottom lip before urging himself to speak.

"Go on then. Cum 'round my cock," Price uttered lowly, eyes focused on your face. He could watch his cock fucking into your slick cunt whenever he wanted. He just wanted to see your beautiful face. "Good girl, that's it. You can cum. Let go for me, sweetheart."

"Oh my god, Price—" you keened, third orgasm slamming into you and sending you spiralling. White hot, body alight, nerves buzzing as you came around his cock, still burning hot inside you, abusing the plug of your womb.

"Fucking beautiful," Price grunted, still recording the way your cunt stretched taut around his girth, splattering wet across his pelvis.

He was close, twitching inside you. He was pawing at the mound of your belly, pressing his palm to where the imprint of his cock was visible, so fucking deep inside you. He moaned at the sight, salivating, hiking your dress up further to get a better view.

Overstimulation was creeping in. You whined, reaching down to skirt your fingernails across Price's bare abdomen.

"Please, Price, cum for me," you whimpered, voice coming out unusually sultry. "Cum inside me, please, captain."

"Holy fuck—" Price stuttered, spilling inside you instantly.

His warmth flooded you, spurting around his cock, dribbling out of your cunt. He spilled ropes and ropes, hot white ichor, filling your womb as you sobbed for him.

Price tossed his phone to the side, immediately dragging himself up your body, cock still inside. He pressed kisses all over your face, soothing you, the both of you shining with sweat. Your bare tits pressed against his bare chest as he whispered sweet words of affirmation in your ear.

You sighed.

There really wasn't any other man, your age or not, like Captain John Price.

"You alright?" He asked, kissing your earlobe, your jaw, your cheek, your nose, then finally your lips.

You smiled, his facial hair tickling your face. "Mhm."

"Good." He nuzzled into the crook of your neck, sucking at the skin.

"You had fun filming your little videos?" You cooed, stroking a hand through his hair.

He grunted against your neck. "Of course. Straight to the wank bank they go, sweetheart."

You snorted, laughing. "For such an old man, you are so immature."

"I'm not an old man."

"You said you were earlier," you smiled. "Surprised you can still get it up."

"Fucking hell. You and Soap'd get along."

Your mischievous grin grew. "Oh, the one with the mohawk? Sexy—"

Price bit at your neck, making you yelp. He grumbled, "Don't push it."

You laughed, patting his head. You both lay in silence for a little while, listening to the dull, far-away vibrations of the music.

"We should probably rejoin the party..." You said in a disappointed mumble.

Price grunted, hugging you tighter. "Five minutes."

"Enough for round two, old man?"

"Don't tempt me, sweetheart."

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•

This was meant to be longer and a bit fluffier but I got tired and horny so here you go hope you enjoyed mwah mwah xx

#captainfern #captainfernsalutes #call of duty #captain john price #call of duty mw2 #captain price #captain price smut #fem reader #price x reader #captain john price x female reader #price smut #captain price x reader #captain’snirvana #cod mw2 #cod price

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yahoodarling · 7 months

Text

Yandere Thoma/Ayato X IsekaiedGN Reader

Warnings: Posted in comments to avoid spoilers, please read them if you wish to avoid potential triggers.

Word Count: 20k (Full Fic)

Chapter option: Part 1 ( 3 Chapters, +-6k ea)

It's disgusting, it is discomfort incarnate to have such foresight into the fate of the world and yet be bound to its own laws of destiny, especially when what you were sure was to take place is altered. You no longer have any ground of understanding except the uncanny feeling that things are not as they should be, to be so similar and yet be so changed. You knew things will end up alright, as long as you do not interfere then Inazumas political warfare will reach a peaceful end and it did. You watched, noted those ‘special’ to the world, those who have a story, a life, a reason and you took the responsibility of not getting involved and it worked. You became an npc, avoided any confrontation with those deemed ‘special’, avoided any influence in the ‘plot’, watched as a hero came, a nation saved and a people newly united. It worked. Your foresight was correct yet… things changed. With no base to rely on, how were you to know what the ‘future’ must be, how were you to know what to avoid, who to avoid and what minor choice may change a future? The hero has left, gone to Sumeru you guess, no, you know, you know the hero leaves for a new nation but so has your foresight and with that comes the change. The one day gathering supplies, one day speaking to a fellow npc to fill some sort of social need, one day being in the ‘dark’ and you've caused a spark.

“Oh Aoi, good morning to you!”

He didn't speak to you, it was directed to the npc shopkeep you were chatting with and yet it grabbed your attention. Thoma is ‘special’, Thoma is relevant and so he must be avoided and you failed.

Thoma spoke of how lovely the nights have been, of the soft whistles of sea, even to npcs Thoma was a gentleman starting conversation. He then noted how ‘unique’ your eyes are, a depth to them he's never seen before. That comment frightened you, made you rush to leave, to stop the change. Quickly you felt a hand on your shoulder,

“Please excuse my rudeness but how about we have a stroll? I know its unfair of me to ask a stranger such a thing but… you remind me of a home away from home, if you would grant me such a pleasure that is.” he ended with a chuckle. You have been so realistic up to this point, so good at avoiding ‘change’ but you have a heart and knew all too well that whatever feeling Thoma is experiencing is something important to him. You have a heart and so you accept. A single light hearted stroll became a weekly meet at the shop front, ‘coincidentally’, which became a personal relationship which became a friend. It's alright though, Thomas is a social guy, he's close with many npcs who never impacted the ‘plot’, you can be one such npc, that's fine. Change is fine.

It's not fine. Meeting with Thoma you eventually met with other ‘special’ individuals you knew by name before they even knew of your existence. It's a weird feeling to know a person before getting to meet them, all the private details, their worries, their joys and yet to remain oblivious.

“A formal greeting from the Kamisato Clan, I am glad to see Thoma has a new friend. Do treat him well, sadly I must make short of this meet.” and the man who is most likely the most influential to whatever ‘plot’ is to come of Inazuma greeted. Kamisato Ayato was amongst your top ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ list other than the archon herself and yet somehow naive bliss and a VERY convincing plea(almost suspiciously good) from Thoma to have lunch by the beaches near the residence of the Kamisato Clan lead you right into his ‘life’. You have no ‘life’, you are meant to have no ‘life’, no value or effect and yet by each interaction with those deemed ‘special’ by the world your plans crumble.

Ayato then promptly bowed and walked out the residents gate, a body guard joining him as he started his track along the path you had just taken towards the city.

“Ah right, he has that meeting. A pity, if his schedule was more open I would have asked for him to join us.” Thoma turned to you with a quick hesitant smile, “he's really not as imposing as you may think he is. Ah well… maybe he still is but just in a different way then what the people expect. If you'd like, maybe I could let you know when my lord and I are doing something casual, if you would be comfortable with that of course. I forget just how intimidating the idea of being casual with a clan lord can be to someone who doesn't know him as well as I do.”

“Thank you for the offer Thoma but I'd like it if we just kept it the two of us. You are right, the idea is a little frightening right now.”

You knew what Thoma meant by all that, he means that Ayato is a genuine person underneath his political mask. Ayato is a brother, a friend and a man caring for those deemed under his protection and to those lucky enough to see under his mask they may be met with the unlucky fate of becoming a target to his mischievous nature.

Still, the idea of getting involved with someone so influential is nauseating even if just for something ‘casual' as Thoma has in mind. In truth you shouldn't even be here, here near the Kamisato Clan, here near someone like Thoma, here in Teyvat in the first place. You shouldn't be here.

“I see, that's expected haha.” Thoma smiled at you wildly, reaffirmed at the idea of something going on in his mind (if only knowing what said idea was was as easy as opening a character profile and reading a line directly out of his thoughts) “Well we are still here for a good time. Let me get that blanket and pillows for the beach quickly. You are going to love it!” Thoma quickly skipped into the yard of the clans walls while you waited outside and watched as the npcs you recognized patterned around the area. That one person at the commission board, you had forgotten his name by now after fulfilling Inazumas reputation months ago. There was the old lady sweeping in the yard, what did she comment on again? … … it never came to you, it was all forgetful anyway. A sudden feeling of envy hit you. They were forgetful, oh how lovely that would be to ease your nerves. To know that each day the sun rises you can follow your coded script without fear of altering the fate of the very universe by the time the sun goes down. Wow, you've messed up haha.

Thoma returned quickly as promised, a blanket and two pillows clutched under one arm as a basket was held in another but probably most heavy of all was the giant smile on his face, wrinkling his cheeks with a sense of genuine happiness. No wonder you messed up, it would be impossible to say no to him. It's all his fault and yet you felt you could never put the blame on him.

“Well, sorry to have starved you of your lunch for so long, we are nearly there and I can't wait to see your reaction.” Thoma then lead you through a short path of the surrounding forest and down towards the beach.

Perhaps your recollection of the game isn't accurate, you could have sworn a group of enemies should be nearby the beach here but all along the coast line was just gentle laps of the waves upon white sand. Thoma layed out the blanket with little worries evident on his face, he placed both pillows down then removed his shoes, each unclad foot stepping on the blanket to avoid spreading sand all over it, you promptly did the same, sitting down and placing the basket you had down next to his.

“This place is lovely at any time of the day but especially during sunset, I would have asked for you to join then but I feared it would make things inconvenient for you but still, spending the afternoon here is just lovely nonetheless.” he criss crossed his legs and then beamed at you.

“Come on then, don't keep me waiting, I'm dying to try out one of your baked goods.”

Right. One of the first things you did when you realised you were now living in the game was (panic, cry, internally scream in confusion as to how this has happened and if your world will keep on going and you aren't in it) actually to set up an identity for yourself. Running around and claiming to have come from another world and how you somehow know very personal details of select people and the future fate of the nation would lead to either your banishment or a future altered and possibly worse where peace was not founded, the resistance killed off and the entire plot of the ‘game’ thrown off. Not a good idea. Instead you tried to incorporate yourself into the ‘npc lifestyle’ as quickly as possible. You came up with a backstory that befit this world, you are a failed Sumeru scholar who has come to Inazuma to lead a new simple life outside of your failures. (In truth you stole inspiration for the backstory from some npc you think was on Sangonomiya Island.) It makes sense, people you tell won't ask you more about your past details in fear of being insensitive and Sumeru scholars are sometimes brought to Inazuma. You explained your (fake) predicament to a shop vendor who referenced you to the local baker who took you on. Now you bake goods behind the walls, don't face any customers and have a very npc-like backstory and job. You set yourself up well which was helped by all the knowledge you have of this world. Too bad you messed up all that work and are sat in front of someone ‘special’. Maybe you can salvage the situation, maybe it's not as bad as you think it is, you only have ‘maybes’ which isn't helpful since you had a ‘definitely’ to rely on before Inazumas ‘quest’ was finished by the hero.

You just smile at Thoma and reach your basket. “I made some simple bread rolls and brought some butter and jam but I also made some black sesame biscuits before leaving work. Thanks again for convincing my boss to let me off early today, things get busy there.”

“Not a problem, I don't often take days off either but I think I just needed a break today and imagined it would be a nice chance to get to know you more. How about you pass me one of your rolls in exchange for a serving of okonomiyaki? Sorry it's probably cold by now but should still be good.” He reached into his basket taking out some wooden containers as well as some cloths, likely for cleaning any spillages, and handed you one with you exchanging and giving him a roll and butter from your pack.

You both nibbled at each other's creations, the bread rolls were still slightly warm on the inside since you had baked them before leaving, which Thoma commented on how lovely it is with the butter. The okonomiyaki you took pieces out of was cold but packed with various spices and toppings which really highlighted Thomas skills.

“I just love that we can do this!” Thoma announced after his last bite. “I love getting to make and share things with friends, it's touching the combined effort put into it as well as the delicious outcome we get to enjoy. Haha, my lord and I do a similar thing but its outcome is not as enjoyable as warmed bread and butter, if anything it's concerning haha. Remember how earlier I said how he can be a little intimidating, our little cook outs are one such example. I really have to steel myself for those.” he chuckled and then leaned down on his elbows.

Once again, what he's trying to explain is something you already know of but need to act oblivious to. You have to convince yourself to be unaware and yet need to be aware enough to avoid ‘changing’ anything, this task has grown rather wearing but is essential to keep up your act.

“Oh? How could cooking together turn out so threatening? You two are close though.” He laughed

“It's because we are close that he feels he can torment me with his cooking. I swear, I'm surprised I haven't kneeled over and died yet. Worst part is he knows it's tomenting, it's the best part to him! Agh- I've had so many of my own treats I've made be ruined by whatever his plan is. Haha, it's amusing to look back on but just so daunting at the moment. When I said we could do something ‘casual’ with him I do not mean having one of these cook outs haha, I could never subject you to that.”

The nature of the conversation stayed light hearted, you both exchanging from your baskets while sharing stories or light hearted moments, you had altered your side of things a little, you spoke truth of personal events but under the filter to fit with your backstory, that way lies couldn't catch up with you or forgetting lots of little made up details. The outing was rather pressuring in concept, so much could go wrong since you are involved, but in reality it was very nice. You had kept yourself back a lot when it comes to building relationships with the people around you in fear of your influence potentially changing something important but you are still human and still have social needs but even people like your boss, coworkers and the shop vendors you chat with in passing never fit what it meant to have a friend, to have someone to sit next to and simply have a good time with.

Maybe you've been in this world for too long, you fear you may slip into making a ‘normal’ life here now that you've had a taste of what it means to ‘live’.

The sun started moving, waves became more rash upon the shore and the signs of the afternoon turning to evening became evident. You started packing up your basket and containers, lightly chatting on with Thoma about the seaside. To the side you heard footsteps and Thoma sat himself up straight to look at the oncomer.

“Oh! Done with the meeting my lord?”

Your hand slipped in fright, the container lid clattering as you tried to put it with its matching box. Shit, why is he here? Shouldn't Ayato be too busy? Isn't that one of his whole character points? Not once was ‘strolls on the beach’ mentioned in any of his character lines. You looked up and smiled at him in greeting, your face tugged up tensely and trying very hard to look at ease. You decided it would be easier to let Thoma handle him and just got back to packing your things away.

“Good evening to you too,” he chuckled softly and shifted his gloves, “the meet is done without any problems. When I got back home I wondered if you were still out here, seems I was right. I can now also fix a prominent mistake of mine.”

Even though you tried your hardest to avoid eye contact and look busy it's not like you had mountains to put away, you were left empty handed with a pair of well polished shoes in front of you, their sheen contrasted with the speaks of sand now defiling them. You took a breath in and looked up properly to meet his gaze.

“I do apologise for being so rash earlier, I would have liked a proper introduction. As you can surmise i am Ayato, Thoma has mentioned of you before and I am glad to have the honor of meeting you in person.” he smiled in greeting, no doubt he would have offered a hand or a bow if you both were at the same height but for now a smile would do.

“Right, it is truly an honour Lord Ayato. Thank you for extending your welcome to me.” you bowed slightly.

He laughed slightly, deeply amused.

“Do just call me Ayato in private like this and last I recall, yes my property is in the area but that doesn't warrant me the entire beach side. In truth I have not welcomed you at all.”

Thoma sighed slightly, “My lord please don't tease them so readily, I would like to eventually re invite them here but I can't do that if you've scared them away.”

“Of course, maybe then I can truly offer my welcome and they may join us to tea in the confines of the clan.”

Thoma sighed again at the slight continuation of Ayato's mischief. You took the opportunity of their exchange as an opening and stood up.

“Thank you for the food today Thoma and for bringing me to such a lovely place. I'll get going before it gets too late.”

“Oh, let me walk you back then.”

You shook your head in defiance, “No need, I know the way and it doesn't make sense for you to walk all the way just to have to return. Bringing me here was amazing in itself.”

You turned to Ayato and bowed again, less in respect and more so to keep away from eye contact.

“Thank you again Lord Ayato. Stay well.” and quickly you make your way off the sands of the beach and towards the trek back home into the outer city.

Thoma and Ayato stayed still, simply watching you go in silence until you were out of eyesight. It was Ayato that broke the silence.

“You are sure they do not carry any ill intent?” he said monotonously, still looking at the spot you disappeared to.

“I am sure. They are a decent person and I double checked, they don't have a past linked to any organisation. Sure they are rather anxious, I see it often, a little skittish at times and slightly paranoid but it's not at the prospect of the clan. Haha, if you've taught me anything it's to be aware of people's intentions, if anything they are trying to run away rather than to get close. I can assure you, they don't have an agenda against the clan.”

Ayato breathed out, then turned himself to properly look at Thoma, his face relieved. “If that's your judgement it must be true then.”

…

An odd moment of silence spread between the two of them on the beach, both looking out as the sky took on warmer hues of yellow and orange clashing with its deeper blues.

“You've been coming here a lot more recently and to have invited a friend here as well, has your mind been on your homeland?”

Thoma chuckled and leaned back out on the blanket, now dusted with sand and corners crinkled after the day's events, “I have. Thinking about the mountains of Mondstadt and all the memories just out there across the ocean. It's not in a sad sense, not at all, it's just that recently-,” he paused, looking away from the ocean and down to his lap, slightly gnawing on his lip in thought, “recently i've felt more… connected with myself. It's a nice feeling if not slightly concerning. I feel I'm getting to know myself better but it also just clearly shows how much I have yet to discover.” He sighed, closed his eyes and fully laid down on his back.

Ayato looked down on his friend, doing as he does best and figuring out just what was going on in his mind, his feelings, the reasons for such feelings and the potential catalysts that brought them about. He kneeled down onto the blanket beside his friend, form straight from a lifetime of practice.

“Does your new friend have anything to do with it?” he asks only to be met with silence, Ayato doesn't need an answer, he already knows it's true but just why that is so is still unknown.

“It isn't that you have fallen for them have you? I didn't think of you as one for love to occur after a reasonably short time.”

Thoma opened his eyes languidly and responded this time.

“I don't think it is love. Not yet but… i'd say i've definitely fallen for them haha, in whatever way that is i'm not sure but it feels… unbridled in nature.” he closed his eyes once more and shook his head at his own emotions. He tugged on a smile and relieved himself of his weighing thoughts, “So i'd appreciate it if you don't chase them away okay? I look forward to figuring out what's going on with both myself and with them.”

Ayato nodded wordlessly, not needing to disturb the quiet with a response.

…

“Ayato, did you notice the look in their eyes? It truly just- it just instantly made me feel like I was reliving my home town but also… not. It was familiar but also so foreign.”

“I hadn't gotten a good look at them in truth. They seemed rather determined in keeping their eyesight on anything but me.”

Thoma nodded in acknowledgement, “Makes sense. I do hope they warm up to the idea of the three of us doing something together eventually. Haha, once they've settled their nerves they are very comforting to talk with, I think you'd like them.”

Comfortable silence stretched along the two, the shades of yellow and orange in the sky deepening to reds and purples. In time Ayato stood up, no doubt with the intent of work to finish. He turned to leave before side glancing at Thoma.

“The nobushi that often occupy these beaches, you've disposed of them correct?”

“Did it just this morning to make sure the beach was safe for today as well as to clear out the threat they bring.”

Ayato sighed in annoyance.

“I still can't believe those ruffians believe they outwit us, thinking being close to the clan means they may spot our vulnerabilities.” he shook his head slightly, like the ‘danger’ the oathless samurai possessed was nothing but a pesky fly.

He then made his way back to the clan home leaving Thoma to steep in his own thoughts.

It was after this interaction that you decided to cut things down. At first you imagined Thoma to be the safest ‘special’ person to come across, given how social he is and loved by many you could become a face in the crowd while also tending to your social needs and appeasing Thoma who, and you still wonder why, wanted to get closer to you. Following the path you've taken recently, of course you were wrong, in fact Thoma should have been on that list of ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ for the very reason you thought it was safe to: he's social. Very quickly you had realised in your time meeting with him that he would smile and wave to many walking by, one such instance was panic inducing when you noticed Yoimiya come over to greet him. Before she had fully skipped up to the both of you you had promptly dismissed yourself and ran back to the confines of your walls to avoid meeting someone so ‘special’.

This was Thomas' problem, he is the network that is connected to so many ‘characters’ that by staying by his side means undoubtedly meeting with the others. Today's incident was clearly that, you met Ayato, you were right there at the clan bordering the line of stepping into the grounds of one of the most impactful places of Inazuma and it was Thoma that had convinced you to do so. You had been too lenient on your rules recently, too selfish. You don't follow these rules you've written up for yourself because you want to but because you know it's for the better of the future and altering such a future because you can't stay inline is selfish to every being in Teyvat that could possibly be influenced by your choices.

To live means to influence your environment, to live means to leave an impression that proves your existence. You wish for nothing right now other than to ‘die’, be void of life and find comfort in that, to finally release the stress of what it means to have all this information of the world and not belong in it but you are still human, you have needs to fulfil and ‘dying’ is not one of them.

It was time to cut Thoma off, it hurt because you knew it would hurt him but it would be better this way. That night you closed your eyes to rest, determined on your new path but gut wrenching in a myriad of emotions, fear, pressure, uncertainty, sadness. You haven't slept well ever since coming to this world and that night was no different. You fell asleep cursing the ground you walk on, cursing the details that swamped your mind, cursing your very existence and the trouble it causes to both this world and yourself.

Separating yourself from Thoma was simple, firstly you changed your shopping time, no longer ‘coincidentally’ meeting with him like you had these last few weeks. Secondly, you asked your boss for more work, that way you have an excuse. You aren't a ‘bad person’ for suddenly leaving Thoma, no it’s because work has been busy and you just don't have the time. This system worked, you hadn't stumbled on him while in the city and the few times he did come to your workplace you simply told him that you were busy and needed to get back to work. This system went on for weeks and was perfect for devoiding your existence of ‘live’, which yes was depressive, you could feel yourself go mad at the amount of work you put on yourself and lack of outlet, but it worked. The extra work did help with the issue of mora as well (the value of mora being confusing ingame where how a single egg was 400 mora and yet 1 mora is represented as a single coin but you realised quickly it was just the ingame market system) which lightened the financial strain a little. You worked from early mornings to late nights, arms dead by the end of the day. In truth you know it isn't a healthy cycle, often coming home and skipping meals just to bathe and sleep, but it was necessary.

Inazumas rains soaked the land, luckily no thunder was present but the trek from the city to nearby village was still made difficult in the wet weather. Your eyes focusing and unfocusing, legs on autodrive walking you towards a particular customer of your workplace who the boss is very fond of. The old lady you were delivering to had been coming to the bakery for years but in her age can no longer make the walk to the city. Your boss found it mandatory to provide for such a loyal customer and so your weekly walk to deliver her breads was on the way.

In the rain was silence, just the sound of your wet shoes on the mud and the rhythmic clank of the wooden box you carried and its latch. The world began to blur, shapes and colours combining as the rain obscure your vision and the melody of your steps, the rain's patter and the wooden latch soothed your mind. Peaceful, a sleepwalk yet not unconscious.

Peace is never retained.

“Look, a stray lamb. Ha! The rain brings fortune indeed.” a swallowed out voice but a few steps away from you got you out of your daze. A wandering samurai, perhaps 3 all together, walked from the side of the path towards you from the river. If this had been ingame the confrontation would be nothing more but an annoyance, 4 ‘characters’ to choose from to easily snuff them out or the option to just run away until they gave up chase. In reality this confrontation means little less than a deathly denouement. Heavily armed, well trained men with seemingly no morals and a thirst for sick entertainment against a human bering no vision, a basket of bread and a fatigued body leaves little wonder as to how this will end. Panic arose at the realisation, the very human phenomenon of ‘fight or flight’ kicking in, and as a baby bird strives to the air you push off your feet, adrenaline quickly awakening your senses and urged your body to a change of direction and just as a fledgling's first flight you fall. Hard. Your mind may have awoken but your body had not caught the message, instead you lay your head in the dirt, all motive diminished, just your sad existence lay bare for a bunch of hostile mobs, stupid coding of copy paste enemies, to take your life. In all honesty this is perfect, you wish to retain as accurate to an npc life as possible? What better way than to die a meaningless death. That brought enough comfort to you to allow yourself to close your eyes (disregarding the other factors such as shock, exhaustion and most likely a concussion from the fall)

Perhaps a few of your questions will be answered now, if you die here will you reawaken into your own world? Will the months of lifetime in this fictitious game be nothing but a dream or will you truly die and merely sink into the mud as nothing more than a mistake upon this world? Neither as it seems the feeling of the rain pelting on your body ended, the sounds of swords being drawn and clashing washed away and your head, though still paining, layed on something far more welcoming than wet earth.

“Are you regaining consciousness then?” you feel hands lean your body up, a hand moving you face side to side prompting your eyes to open. They are met with the analytically eyes of Ayato still looking over your features for whatever wear and tear you may have gathered.

“To have fallen so gracefully in such a life threatening moment, truly your abilities are unmatched to any I have seen before. I am surprised you garner such mud and bruising, I had expected you to be dressed in only the most comfortable of clothing by the way you so effortlessly went to rest.” Oh for fucks sake-

You properly awaken, now relying on your own balance to stay sitting upright and Ayato moving his hands away only to have his eyes peering closer to you. You swipe at your face, lumps of mud clinging to your hand in turn. You heave a sigh just to gather yourself for a moment before speaking.

“What happened? Why would you be here if it means I'm not dead? Ah- sorry,” you jumped into accusations before even giving thanks, not suspicious in the slightest, “my head is still sore. Sorry, I must thank you for rescuing me, I would be dead if not for you.”

Ayato hummed and nodded his head. “To answer your question, I was on my way to the city before the rain started, not wanting to get wet. I waited here under this shelter until I saw you stumble right into that group of noboshira and now we are sat here. As for your apology, it's accepted, you are welcome.”

Why was he acting like this? Mischievous sure but with a slight hint of pride or cockiness in vulgar terms. Sure he's a noble but usually he adores the ‘polite lord’ act rather than ‘cocky aristocrat’. His attitude reminded you of how he interacts with those he deems ‘close’ rather than a stranger he's met only once. Yes you are close with Thoma which may influence how he sees you but surely not to the extent of you two being ‘close’ in turn.

And still you must play the fool, be gracious and oblivious like you could never tell between his mask and his true face.

“Thank you so much Lord Ayato, truly you've saved my life.”

You stand to bow, to leave but he holds your wrist at the movement.

“Do not move so hastily now, the rain is still ongoing and I would not like to see a recurrence of you laying in the mud, no matter how amusing the first time may have been. Do sit back down.”

No denying that, no matter how much you wanted to make distance between the two of you, trying to run away would only cause more problems. You sit back down on the bench, a rickety structure just outside the village with hardly enough space for two. You look to the ground at your feet, watching as rain drops just a few inches away. Ayato sighs, made clear you have no intent of starting a conversation. Perhaps his political side kicks back in, going blunt and straight to the point.

“You have been avoiding Thoma these last weeks, he's become distressed at the idea he's done something wrong.” you do not reply.

“Is it because of my involvement? I understand you may be pressured by our difference in class but both Thoma and I have made it clear that should not be a problem when in private so why is it you fear me? I have seen those intimidated by my title but your anxiety runs deeper than that. I personally don't care as much but if it distracts your relation with Thoma then I suggest it should be dealt with.”

This questioning is unnerving, it is tearing right to the point where the only truth is to reveal the true origin of your situation. That cannot happen so you reply with what you usually do, not exactly a lie but a truth wrapped along with missing context.

You fake a sigh, “My Lord I am… I am an introverted person by nature. When Thoma approached me I- I accepted his conversations not to be rude and i do genuinely enjoy being with him but i- he's a social person, I knew he was and it was uncomfortable for me to get involved but I tried it's just the moment I met with someone such as yourself, someone so… powerful I realised just how large his social circle is. I can't keep it up, being with him means being with others and I can't handle that.” it was the truth, yes you played it up a bit but hopefully it's an explanation Ayato would accept.

“So you do not consider your friendship special enough to warrant such efforts?”

“No!” you lift your head to him, for once properly looking at him, “It is, he is special, he is special beyond your understanding it's just that… I don't fit in, I don't belong by his side and meeting you and others just proves that.”

Ayato looked at you for a moment, seemingly lost in your words, perhaps not understanding the phrasing you used but he quickly morphed back into his usual laid back but self assured look.

“Was that your decision to make?” He let out a soft huff of air and looked forward to the oncoming rain. Why did he wish to avoid the rain? Given his character trailer where he casually accepts it, his skills being water based and summoning quite literal rain not to mention the casual manner his attacks have him kneeling right into it, how could he act so off put by walking along when the storm was hardly harsh, a summer spray in truth, you wouldn't have accepted going on this delivery if the weather was any worse.

“It's comforting. Something I can appreciate both from a distance and up close. Water has a tendency of being both stubborn and flexible, it moves as it wishes and chips away at that it deems in its way. When in motion it is hard to stop, when stagnate it proves hard to move.”

Ayato turned back to you, eyes alight with something more than just his blue hues, they appeared with a sheen, not from the gloss of tears but of something you couldn't exactly tell what it embodied. Without a character profile to read it actually is very hard to tell what goes on in his mind.

“Such waters remind me of you. So stubborn in some label you've put yourself under and yet so quick to wash away when it is threatened. You call such a label as being ‘introverted’ but I imagine it's something more isn't it? Perhaps it is insensitive of me to get into, from Thoma I hear you've had an unfortunate past in your time as a scholar and the depths of your reason may lay there but if you truly wish to integrate into a life in Inazuma then avoiding the people you come across, myself and especially Thoma, all under the pretext of being ‘introverted’, then you will find your burdens much heavier.”

In a very storylike fashion the rains seemed to ease, droplets turning to drizzle. Ayato stood up and readjusted his coat cuffs, “At the very least explain to Thoma your reasons, I did not exaggerate when I said he has become distraught.”

You stood in turn, head buzzing but no longer in the previous pain. You nodded to Ayato, your anxieties haven't shown any actual proof and yet you hurt someone who has shown nothing but kindness and acceptance to you, it is wrong.

“I will, you are right.”

Ayato offered his hand to you for a hand shake, both as an untold promise to explain yourself to Thoma and as a simple goodbye gesture, you shook it with a strong resolve.

“I look forward to hearing more about you in the future. Do keep yourself well and avoid potential naps in the mud, it's not the most comfortable of places.” he smiled at you with a cheeky glint of amusement before turning his back and walking to the direction of the city.

You sat back down on the bench, intent on waiting out the remaining drizzle, and leaned against its wooden pillars. It's all so conflicting, when you try to do right for this world you hurt and confuse those around you, if you try to appease the people around you you risk threatening their future. You bare a cursed mind of information, a cursed existence upon this plane, it isn't right to affect others by the curse you bare but it also isn't right to devoid someone so giving as Thoma.

You sit and contemplate until the drizzle gives way, your carry box placed by your feet filled with breads untouched by dirt and still awaiting their destination.

Ayato strolls along the path to the city, it is not his usual reasoning for taking the trip but still a reason worth doing so. Along his path all threats had been eliminated, you should arrive just fine but it wasn't that which plagued his mind, rather it was a soft sense of amusement, a sense of glee that left him softly chuckling to himself. He adjusted the cuffs of his gloves, a sign to his Shuumatsuban in hiding that they are to leave him for a moment, once the soft shuffling of unseen ninja pass he turns is view to your direction, the distance hindering the sight, he needed a moment to himself, to gather all possible elements at play to give reason to his unspoken questions.

“As expected, Thoma was right, they do hold some degree of depth.”.

The words Ayato left with you clung to your mind, in all this time interacting with ‘characters’ you haven't once seen anything alter the course of the world yet. Perhaps it's a twisted Butterfly effect and your actions have changed something you cannot see but Teyvat was still intact and no news of a newly declared war has come about (for whatever reasons your actions may potentially had started a war in the first place). Perhaps the time of paranoia can finally come to an end and you can ‘live' a little, truly live here if it means spending the rest of your life in this world. You also owe it to Thoma. You've done everything in your power to avoid him when he's done nothing less but show genuine interest in getting closer to you and with Ayato's words you can confirm that you've hurt him. In your time knowing him, truly knowing him, not as a character reading lines of script, not as a collection of pixels on a screen but as a real person with flesh and feelings, it's really made you appreciate him more than anything one could feel for a fictional character. Thoma is not fictional in this world and in this world he looked to you for a friendship, you lead him on in your weakness and now he has to face the loss because of your choices. Ayato was right, you truly don't have the right to make this decision but the least you can do is make up for your mistakes and keep your promises. Teyvat isn't going to fall apart just because you want a friend, what led you to think you could change the fate of the universe in the first place? Fate is a strong thing, it will not break so easily just because you exist. The rest of the ‘plot’ will go on as normal, the ‘hero’ is most likely still in Sumeru sorting out their issues and that ‘hero’ can go on and change Teyvats fate, you can sit still, live a normal life and they can keep the story going.

You decide the best way to apologise is to show Thoma you genuinely care and the best way to do that, (other than actually talking to him) is to do what he's already established means a lot to him, make something. Thoma loves to see the effort people put into something much more than the actual execution of it. You are hardly a master baker yet he savours what you bake like it's been done by a professional, so play to your strengths. You finish your work day, inform your boss you will no longer be taking the overtime and rest for the day. Not wanting to rush into things too quickly you wait a few days and in your spare time make a batch of miso butter cookies and a simple fresh loaf of shokupan on the day you decide to meet him. It being a weekend you were off work but that also meant Thoma wouldn't be in the city, he does his trips here only during the week when he needs specific supplies for his upkeep of the clans residence. Taking a walk to the Kamisato Clan is quite the walk but you owe it to him to get this done, he can't be the one to keep chasing after you, you need to show you want to be close as well.

You arrive midday, the walls of the clan still so daunting, and walk to the entrance where the clans guards await, noticing your presence long before you could actually stand before them.

“Good day, I am here to deliver something to Thoma.”

The guard eyes you but responds, “He's out. If you have any deliveries you can leave them here where they will be checked before entering the clan.”

Thoma isn't here? Shit. That makes this whole thing a bust.

“Do you know where he's gone or when he'll come back? I'd prefer to see him in person.”

“No. Please leave any packages here and-” the guard was cut off as the man of the house walked up to the entrance, Ayato offered a slight smile, perhaps to ease your nerves at the guard's menacing stance though that is his job, before turning to said guard.

“They are a guest and are welcome to the clan. Thank you for serving your duties but they are free to enter.”

The guard bowed and uttered a small, “Yes my lord.”

Ayato then stood to the side to allow you in, his arm outstretching the direction in welcoming.

“Ayaka and I were just having tea in the break of our schedules. Please do join us.”

Well it seems you will be meeting Ayaka (for the second time), not expected, not something you were prepared for but if you are to truly let go of your worries then meeting Ayaka should not be a problem.

You follow suit and see Ayaka sitting at the table on the outside courtyard, she smiled in greeting as you and Ayato approached.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, I am Ayaka Kamisato.” she nodded in greeting. It's a little difficult to respond to people such as Ayaka and Ayato whom are so versed in proper Inazumaian etiquette but you've been in Inazuma for long enough to have picked up some things. You bow slightly in turn, “A pleasure as well Lady Ayaka, thank you for welcoming me to your home.” You responded in a similar way when first meeting Ayato though you imagine conversing with him from now on would be a lot more relaxed after your previous meetings. Said man indicated for you to sit beside his sister which you did, form a lot less refined compared to the pair of siblings.

“Ayaka, this is the person Thoma has been talking about as of late. A new friend to the Kamisato Clan.”

“Oh! It's truly wonderful to put a face to a name. Thoma has spoken only positives about you. What brings you here?”

You look down to the wooden box in your hand, your apology gift.

“I need to speak with Thoma and give him something.”

You don't even need to look at Ayato to know that he's fully aware of what your meeting with Thoma is all about.

“I see. He's gone out for a walk at the moment but should be back soon. Anyway,” it felt like ice drawn at the blunt way she changed the topic. She quickly turned back to Ayato, more specifically the paper in her hands, with a look of true delight on her face.

“The travellers' tales of Sumeru are incredible! Such a different place but the stories they are embarking on are memorising.” her eyes had a sheen to them, not the gloss of tears but of something you couldn't exactly tell what it embodied.

“Their letter details so much, the food, the culture, the people as well as all the situations they've ended up in.” she giggles, lifting her hand to cover her joy but not truly caring about it since she was in such comfortable company which is… odd considering you just met.

Ayato looks at you with a quick strained smile, almost to say, ‘sorry she's overlooking you’ but quickly returned to paying his attention to Ayaka.

“I am not surprised they often find themself in trouble haha though it is good to know they are enjoying their time there. Do they mention when they may return to Inazuma?”

Ayaka looks slightly dejected at that, “No. They say they need to stay in Sumeru for now but will come to the next major festival if they can.” she takes a deep breath in and releases it. “I hope it's soon. I want to hear all these stories from their mouth rather than just as words on a page.”

So Ayaka also has that ‘crush’ on the traveller which was very heavily implied in the game. That must be the reason she is so relaxed and open with her emotions here.

She looked back down at the letter, a soft smile developing. “I hear Yoimiya is planning on taking a trip to Sumeru in the future, perhaps I can ask her to deliver a token from me to the traveller while she is there.”

Ayato's smile remained as always listening to his sister but the small crinkle of the wrinkles by his eyes increased slightly for but a moment before relaxing. His wrinkles… a pity the game models of the characters didn't implement small details such as those. It would have been interesting to see what small features the characters had ‘realistically’ that weren't shown. Would Jean have bags around her eyes? Would Albedos skin have a slight difference of texture than normal? Perhaps Cyno has a more defined tan or Xiangling having slight burn blisters on her hands from cooking and her vision? You've only had a closer look at Thoma and he was so much more ‘real’ than just a 2D image which was slightly unsettling at first but normal now. What interesting things to think about…

“How about you join her?”

Your fascination died instantly. What? No, Ayaka will NOT be joining Yoimiya, that's not how it goes. Ayaka will deny or something will stop her.

“Really? But what of my responsibilities? I don't even know if she'd accept me joining.” Exactly.

“Do not fret, I will have your duties covered and Yoiymiya is your friend, I think she'd appreciate getting to share the trip with you. You deserve a break as well and I see no better opportunity than this.” No, no, no, no you won't because she's not going.

Ayaka stood up, elation beaming off of her while she clutched the letter closer to her.

“Thank you brother! Oh I must ask Yoimiya right away!”

She bowed and made haste out the residence not even sparing you a glance, to her you were a nobody. Her mind was solely on making this trip. You sat in shock, in the past her forgetting about you would be amazing, proof of your ‘npcness’ but you only felt stunned. Ayaka doesn't go to Sumeru, only Yoiymiya does for her second story quest, Ayaka is not involved, Ayaka does not show up, Ayaka is not part of that plot!

“I'm glad she can have a chance to experience the world outside the residence though having to cover for her duties will prove tedious.” Ayato shook his head, then chuckled. “But I'm not opposed to it for this.”

Just how- how has your involvement changed this?! It must be your fault, it can only be your fault, the story has gone on exactly as it was shown in the game so why is this different? What could you have done to make Ayaka go?

“Hmm?” Ayato noticed your silence, “Is something the matter?”

You swallow the spit that had accumulated in your mouth and regained as much composure as possible. “Yes yes I am fine I just- I just need to go have a quick walk by myself. I will be back soon.” It's all you could say. Your mind switched to autodrive in shock and walked you away, neither mind nor eyes truly focusing on anything but your legs walking you a path you've taken many times before yet never once stepped on, into the forests behind the clan house.

Walking in the tanuki filled forest may not have been the best idea, you recall ingame how Hilichurls and Fatui mages are ‘spawned’ here yet your walk was nothing but peaceful. The sound of the stream was somewhat calming, it helped you to think logically. Just because Ayaka says she's going to go on this trip doesn't mean she actually will, something will happen that will prohibit her from going to Sumeru. She is a very important character, her absence in Inazuma may cause something terrible to happen that didn't ingame. Maybe she helps a person in need ‘canonically’ but because in this existence she leaves for Sumeru she isn't there to save said person, that person dies or many people die which could upset their families which could cause them to lose faith in the (police) which could lead to disrupt in the city which could… which could… leave blood spilt?

You stopped your rambling thoughts, eyes zoning in on the pools of blood on the moss covered stones. Whatever caused this is nothing you should get involved in, until a sound of a strangled hiss, electro energy popping and fizzing in the air, a shriek of vengeance and then… nothing. The sound came from further ahead to the right behind a large mound, you watch to see the source, feet ready to run away as the slightest threat. Footsteps sounded and around the bend came a semi dirt covered Thoma, looking ahead with a solemn expression, seemingly dazed. His chest huffed out periodic breaths of air to regain himself and latestly wiped off his brow and took out a cloth and dabbed at the specks of blood on his clothes and arms, while doing so he turned and saw you standing motionless, eyes awide and still in semi shock. Almost instantly devastation fell upon his face, his eyes sunk in immediate sadness, he just looked at you for a second, whatever his thoughts were were his own, before quickly putting the cloth away and rushed to step towards you.

“Please just- i'm just doing my duty, I don't mean-, i'm not…” the more he tried to justify himself the more he seemed to sink into his own hole.

“I know this looks bad, you are the last person I'd want to see me like this but-” he took a deep breath in, steeled himself to elaborate properly, “it's to protect the clan. Fatui spies, rogue samurai, rival clans, a lot of them come here to spy on the clan or put us at risk, i'm just doing my duty and protecting the people who protect me.” he looked at you earnestly, hoping for your understanding, hoping you don't see him as a murderer, hoping to retrain the image of an amicable person but his soft smile of a plea also held the acceptance that you may not acknowledge his reasonings, that you'd turn your back and leave.

You do understand, you do know Thoma isn't a harmless friendly face, that he can and will do what must be done for the people he cares about, it's just that… it's a little hard to easily be calmed even with that notion when the very real blood and remains of that dedication is shown spewed across the forests floor, it's not something any ‘average’ person would not react to but still, this is Thoma, he has his reasons, it was done in the name of goodwill and he's trying to explain it to you.

You take a few steps towards him and offer a hesitant smile, “I get it, I don't see you as any less than before.”

Before you even regain your senses properly you feel his arms around you, tight and secure, his hand cupping the back of your head and hiding his face in your shoulder, so desperate to have the reassurance that it's okay but still hesitant to look at you, like you may change your mind.

“Thank you… archons above I was worried I've scared you. My word, that's the last thing I'd want…” she shook his head slightly, took one last deep breath and moved back up, his hands grasping your shoulders lightly, you could see his face up close now and he finally allowed himself to look at you, his face held a smile. “I am so happy to see you!” the heavy atmosphere diminished as Thomas usual radiance shone, “Haha, what are you doing here? It's been ages, the last place I thought I'd see you was all the way here.”

“Oh yeah, I actually came to apologise about that, about being distant. It wasn't right of me to just cut you off, I'm sorry.”

He stayed silent, only looking at you, his eyes softened and nose wrinkled in his genuine expression of embrace. “Dont worry about it, I was clingy, I'm just glad to know you are here now. I'm really happy about that.” he chuckled and shifted his weight to point you back up the path to the Kamisato residence.

“Let's go catch up shall we?”

On the walk back up you explained to Thoma your ‘reason’ for avoiding him (your half lie, half truth reason), the same one you told Ayato. You are shy and get intimidated by how social he is. Thoma nodded at your explanation, expressed his apologies for not noticing your discomfort and promised from now on he'll be more aware when you are together and not encourage meeting with others you aren't comfortable with. The walk was nice, a bit strained because of the topic but after all the knots had been loosened it felt good to be relaxed with him again.

You two entered the Yashiro court again, Ayato still sat at the table reading through some papers. Thoma turned to you, “Oh sorry, meeting with Ayato was one of the things that made you uncomfortable right? We could go somewhere else to catch up?”

“No it's alright, I met with him earlier when I arrived. I told him I'd return so it would be rude not to haha.”

The noise must have alerted said man, Ayato peaked his head up and greeted the both of you with a smile as you walked towards him and sat down.

“The both of you have returned safely from your walks then, it's good to see. How was it?”

Thoma hesitantly chuckled, “Haha, came across some trouble but nothing I can't iron out. Otherwise we just had a little talk.”

Ayato nodded and hummed.

You remember your carrier box filled with the apology gifts for Thoma and opened it.

“Thoma, I made some more biscuits and bread and wanted to give them to you, to further state my apology.”

“oh? Perfect then, we can have them with tea.” Ayato must have had someone refill the teapot while you were away as Thoma poured you both cups of steamed golden liquid and refilled Ayatos. Thoma took a biscuit and devoured it in delight, did he always over exaggerate when eating the things you baked or was his reaction authentic?

“Ayato, would you like one? They really are divine.”

“No thank you. It would be wrong of me to strip you of your joy haha.”

It was odd but so welcoming to be able to have a casual conversation with the two. It seemed easy to get lost in Thomas stories, he seemed fully invested in everything he spoke of and when listening he truly captured every word. Ayato, though not as vocal as Thoma when he did speak his words were like a maze you'd have to do a small mental puzzle to understand if they were a wise response or a guileful remark coming from his teasing nature. Though harder to understand, Ayato's words were still a welcoming part of the conversation as the three of you went on to drink and share.

Ayato shuffled his papers, putting them to the side, even on his supposed break he was reading through documents, Thoma hummed, took a quick look around then returned his gaze on Ayato.

“Where is Lady Ayaka? I thought you two were having this tea break to discuss something.”

Oh wait… Ayaka…

“Yes, she received a letter from the traveller today and was eager to share it, haha she truly is fascinated with that adventurer. She's not here at the moment however, she's gone to speak with Yoimiya. She says Yoimiya will be taking a trip to Sumeru in the future and has gone to ask if she may join.”

“Oh that's wonderful!-” Thoma hesitated, “Oh but doesn't she have some important meetings lined up these coming months with the shrine? There were those exchanges that need to be made, some deliberations about the upcoming festivals… as supportive as I am about her going on a trip, it doesn't seem doable with just how much is installed for these next 3 or 4 months.”

Oh Thoma you are truly a blessing, not only are you a true friend but you reestablished that the ‘plot’ wont change. You mouth a soundless thanks to him.

Ayato hummed and tapped his quill* rhythmically on the table. “That is true but I want Ayaka to enjoy her years and not only focus herself on clan affairs, this trip is a good first opportunity to see the world outside Inazuma and with Yoiymiya as her travel partner I do not doubt they will have a good time. As for the workload-” Ayato reached over to the paper stack and shifted through them, “I was busying myself with planning and rearranging the meetings and visits she had in the time I expect her departure will be. It is more work but it will be rewarding, you'll see.”

Thoma seemed confused, it seemed from the look on his face he was doing the same as you when it comes to Ayato's words, figuring out the puzzle but if there was an underlying meaning to his words you didn't detect them, Ayato was simply stating facts and expectations yet Thomas silence ment he was looking for more than just that. Whatever mental games Thoma was tackling he must have failed, he chuckled and melted back into his relaxed self.

“I'm glad then, it will be good for her.”

No… no this isn't right. There will be something, something will stop her from going, there must be.

“mhm, I only await to hear back from her and her meet with Yoiymiya, I don't see any reason why she would decline.”

Yoiymiya will decline, she will, she must.

“oh? Are you okay?” Ayato looks at you in concern, he puts his quill* down and gives you his full attention.

“Is something the matter? Whatever it is, I am sure we can address it.”

“No, no its okay I just realised- I had some serious stuff to do for work which i've forgotten.”

Ayato's face turns to mock surprise, you know he didn't believe you but he doesn't comment on it, Thoma does the same but you can detect the small quiver of his smile in disappointment that you are leaving so soon.

“Oh dear! Do you need help getting back home?”

“no no, i'll be fine thank you” you rush to stand up and then smile down to the two. “Thank you for today but I must go. Enjoy your afternoon.” you rush pleasantries and are out the gate before the two could press you further on your actions.

You've done it again, you came here to try to fix things but you've just made a mess. You can try to fix it tomorrow, for now the more pressing thoughts of the potential Sumeru trip Ayaka will go on drowned out any other thoughts. You walk home rushed, the long walk not helping much to ease your nerves, you can only hope fate will prevail and Ayaka will stay in Inazuma.

Ayato and Thoma sat in silence as you left, mutual understanding of the odd nature of your departure yet not wanting to address it.

“So… your ‘walk’ was fruitful then?”

“Just a few stray Hilichurls and a Fatui mage but it's been sorted.”

“Thoma, you know securing the perimeter is not part of your duties, you needn't lie about the reasoning for going out.”

Thoma did not respond.

Ayato breathed in deeply, “I am not opposed to you going out to release your emotions but I worry you may get caught up in them only to further feed into your obsessions.”

“I'm not obsessed! I'm just-” he grit his teeth in his own turmoil, “I don't want to label these feelings as ‘obsession’, that wouldn't be right to them. I don't know, I still don't know. When they stopped talking to me it felt like I'd lose them forever, that everyday I don’t see them with my own eyes is a day that they may disappear and I know that sounds obsessive but… but I don't want to call it that. I just don't…”

Ayato soaked up his friend's words like a sponge and as always his responses were either clear or muddled with undertone, this time Thoma could tell instantly Ayato's words were transparent.

“You need not worry yourself about labelling your feelings then, you two are back in contact and there is still a future for you to explore what the emotions you are holding mean. Just do not lose sight of your health and those around you, even obsession can be tamed. “

The next few months were both easier and harder than the times you were avoiding Thoma. Sure, you lessened your workload and your health improved, you stayed in contact with Thoma, not as much as before but still enough to bond over. It was good to have a friend again and the feeling was mutual, every time you did meet he seemed eager to enjoy it to its fullest. You had even met with Ayato a few more times, never to the extent of Thoma but at least it became comfortable to sit and have tea with the both of them in a relaxed manner but that was the positives, the looming threat of Ayaka changing the plot was a heavy cloud always looming. The few occasions she saw you she was cordial and respectful but her interest glossed right over like you didn't even exist. She and Yoimiya made plans, fulfilled the work she could and now here you stand on the beach you woke up on exactly 2 years ago, 2 years since you randomly came to be here in Teyvat, the same day fate was changed and both Yoimiya and Ayaka were set sail for Sumeru.

In blunt terms, youve fucked up. This was pure proof of your paranoia, this was proof your existence can cause the plot to change and the realisation of just how helpless you are in this situation dawned on you. The very act of your existence, whether you interact with those deemed ‘special’ or not, can and will change the story and you can only wonder if it will end well or if you've led something to doom.

It's not fair, it's not fair at all. Even though you've been friendly with Thoma recently it's not like you can truly confide in him and he's just a painful reminder of your mistakes. The burden of wearing this responsibility, one you didn't even know how to fulfil, one you failed to fulfil, it's unfair. You are only human, you have needs to fulfil and ‘dying’ isn't one of them…

But

But is it moral to be so selfish as to care about your own being when putting the risk of others on the line? Ayaka is gone from Inazuma, just how many people was she meant to interact with if she stayed? How will her presence in Sumeru affect the story? If you guess right the ‘hero' should be done with the main quest of Sumeru if it means Yoimiyas story quest can start but what if something happens that prohibits the plot for future stories? What of Ayakas presence delays the ‘hero’, even for a minute, in which that minute was originally meant for something in the greater scheme of things?

This is awful… this isn't right. Not only has living become so difficult because of the constant nagging of anxieties and worries but you also have the potential to be responsible for disaster simply by existing.

It isn't right… it isn't right you afflict this world with your existence and the threat it brings.

Two years ago when you awoke on this beach you hoped to retain a normal life, perhaps find a way back home but at the very least, set up a life for yourself, an npc life but at least something. It's only fitting that you felt you had to come here, to kneel in the sand and watch how its granules slip through your fingers, it's because you exist that this sand is moving… it's only fitting that you finally come to the conclusion that you must die while being here. This is the place of your ‘birth’ into this world, perhaps it can be the place of your death as well. Not ‘death’, not some convoluted meaning of ‘dying' and becoming a new person, no you need to die. You need to die to ensure the people of Teyvat can remain on course. You are the virus here, you are the disease you need… you need to die.

Tears ran down your cheeks at such a resolute statement, sure youve thought about it all but now and truly you've decided that this is it, that you must do this. It's not like you want to die, not on a personal scale, but on a mental and emotional scale all this is too much, too much to bear and too much to live through.

It's not fair to leave the people you've so selfishly afflicted with your presence without giving them a reason but you are too much of a coward to tell it to their face. It wouldnt go well if you were to stand infront of Thoma and tell him you were going to kill yourself, thats for sure but at the very least he could get some form of an explanation.

You decide tonight is not the night you die, that would be tomorrow, you stand up from the ground and walk home, the weight of your choice still as raw as the moment you decide it, death is no light matter after all.

You get home, a small space a person like yourself could afford, only the basics of furniture and 2 rooms. There under your door lay a letter, you pick it up and sit at your table where unblemished paper sat to become future suicide notes. Taking a look at the letter it was sealed in wax, the crest of the Kamisato Clan dug into its mass.

You open it,

‘Dearist XXXX

May this letter find you well. Both Thoma and myself wish to invite you for a stay at the Kamisato Clan as both a guest and a friend. The changing season brings a beautiful opportunity to witness it first hand as the trees take on their new hues and the oceans change their tides, you are welcomed to join us. Thoma sends his best wishes but asks for them to properly be said in person rather than in post. We eagerly await your response.

Signed

Ayato’

Haha… how casual for a man like him… haha… haha here you are preparing to write letters announcing your death to them and yet they think only of including you in their lives. Haha… how horrible, how utterly vile it is to be able to experience emotions such as these. These feelings only prove your point more. You put the letter to the side and stared blankly at the response you are going to reply with, oh of only it were as optimistic and welcoming as theirs was.

You tried to make it easy for both yourself and those intended to read it. You state that the mistakes of your past have lay heavy on you and that death is the only relief, that you are sorry you cannot return the sentiment of friendship and must lay your mistakes to rest.

To Thoma you leave a more personal note, telling him that he made your life here in Inazuma so much better, that it was only in the moments with him you forgot your ‘mistakes’ for even a moment and for that you are grateful. It's true, it's only Thoma who made you forget the fact you don't belong here when you spend time with him. Sending this letter to him is assured to rip his heart, he sees you as a friend and he's going to beat himself at the thought that he did not help you enough to make you feel you'd want to stay, that he wasn't a good friend, which is not true at all but you know there is little you can do to convince him otherwise. In a moment of distressed induced vulnerability, with tears in your eyes you state something so cliche as that perhaps in another life you two may be able to have the friendship you both craved in this life, if only there is a case of reincarnation and you may be born in the same universe as him and live that life with no burdens or guilt of your existence.

To Ayato you are more cordial, less emotional or descriptive but you tell him that he was right on that day in the rain, that there is a deeper problem than you just being ‘introverted’, otherwise you keep it professional.

After the hardest two were done it was rather simple, it's not like you have any friends or family to write to and sending a letter to the street vendor you buy from doesnt make sense. You do write a letter and tell your boss that you simply will not be returning to work, you don't say why, and that you thank him for all the opportunities and help he has given you.

For once it was easy to fall asleep, for the first time in 2 years the moment you lay your head on your pillow you were unconscious. For once you've felt the release of the burden you feel and the comfort that will come when your plague on this world is done. You are so tired and finally you can rest.

The next day went on simply, it was a weekday and you went to work, in the afternoon you submitted your letters to the post and walked back home, taking in the scenery of Inazuma. This will be the last time you walk these streets. You wait at home quietly, have a decent meal and enjoy the sounds from outside of leaves and people. You felt in an odd state all the way through the day, like your senses were hypersensitive noticing the slightest thing around you which was lovely. You got to focus on the squirrles you passed on your way to work, the smell of baked bread smelled heavenly once again like it had the first day you were in the bakery, the pink and purple blossoms of the trees were so vibrant on your way home. You had given the shop vendor a smile and a wave as you passed her, that day you felt no burden, no grief. You only had one more step to take, the hard part was already over with.

In the late evening you stood by that beach again, the view was incredible. You sat down in the sand and got comfortable leaning against a rock and letting the tide touch the tips of your toes. You were naughty today, you bought enough substances from clinics or herb stands to be sure you felt good in your last moments. You took them quickly and then rested your head back against the rock, letting the sound of waves softly crashing, leaves rustling and the odd animal chirp lull your mind. It took some effort not to fall asleep just yet, you blinked your eyes harshly and woke yourself up a bit. This part was slightly uncomfortable, the beach you woke up on had a slight cliff, nothing you'd die by jumping off of, it was just a little steep incline but it was enough. You took a large rock from nearby and rolled it closer to the edge, tying a rope around and around your ankle. Drowning didn't seem like a peaceful death but at least like this your body can be washed into the sea where it can decay in peace without traumatising a random person strolling the beach. You relaxed and took out the large knife you had brought with you. Bleeding out decreases the time by knocking yourself out and not having enough energy to wake up in the water and struggle. You should be numb enough now. You closed your eyes and cut lengthwise, both arms, a leg… you tried your neck but even drugged up that was beyond doable. You didn't even register when you had stopped, you didn't see the blood flowing or feel the pain as it pooled, slowly your will died out as everything became hazed. It was a feeling, not a good or bad one, you couldn't even think. You felt the weight on your ankle tug, your consciousness dropping and allowing the gravity to pull you away. Black.

You woke up. You woke up. Dazed, in pain but you did. Your eyes opened lightly, luckily it wasn't very bright. Slowly your mind awoke as well, you saw the walls and crest oh so familiar of the Kamisato Clan, of its low light lanterns on the floor and dark wood trims. What were you doing here? What were you even doing?

Each of your senses woke up from the shock they were in and soon your ears picked up sound, at first the static was all you could hear until it was voices. You inclined your head to where the sound came from. Thoma and Ayato sat at a table, what they were talking about was inaudible. Why? Why were you here?

Everything slowly came back to you, what you did, why you did it and mainly the fact that you should be dead right now and yet you were here. Panic arose which was enough adrenaline to push your body and mind completely awake. You shuffled up and looked at the two. Thoma turned at the movement and instantly reached out for you, arms cradling your head which he buried his to your shoulder, a grasp seeking for comfort yet trying to give support.

“Archons above you're awake. My word… oh my word…,” he softly cried into your shoulder but picked his head up to look at you, “Why?! Why did you do that? Why did you feel…” his face was morphed into true distress, his eyes red and slightly swollen from no doubt a long time of distress but renewed with fresh tears. “Please, you are here, you are here and yet you wanted to go-” he choked, “Why, I nearly lost you.” his head fell back down to rest onto you, “I nearly lost you…”

His arms held you tightly, confirming that you were there.

Ayato finally announced himself with a soft clear of his throat, he stayed sitting at a distance.

“Thoma, they are safe and alive. We confirmed this the moment we got them here. “ he took a moment, thinking over his words. “How about you go prepare us a pot of tea and eats and we can discuss this once we all have gathered ourselves?”

Thoma lifted himself back up, “yes… yes you are right” he gave you a squeeze and a haste kiss on the crown of your head before standing and giving you a very strained smile, ‘everything is going to be okay’ it read. Quickly he turned and sped walked out as if staying in the room for too long would prohibit him from ever leaving you. Now it was just you and Ayato.

“Come sit please or do you need assistance getting up?”

You look down at your body, arms and legs patched up in bandages and feeling weak but with a struggled attempt you found you could stand up and walk to him before nearly falling into a sitting position and looking at him. He knows what's happened, he knows the aftermath and you don't.

Ayato sighed and shifted at papers on his desk, 2 in particular, the ones you had sent out.

“We got these well after we had saved you from your incident,” he looked up to you with something of a harsh look, “you can thank the fact one of my shibatsu were watching and stopped you from falling and promptly brought you here.”

He sighed, closed his eyes tense for a moment then released and folded the papers neatly. He returned his gaze back to you.

“I know, or at least suspect, what elements are at play here. The identity you have made for yourself here as an ex Sumeru scholar, that is false, correct?”

How… How did he figure that out?

“You need to speak now, for your and Thomas' betterment. No more lies, no more half trues, no more hiding because after an event such as the one you pulled yesterday I will no longer allow such threats so please, speak.”

You opened your mouth, it felt hoarse and sore. This is it. No more hiding, no more rules or running away, he can see it all, he will know, he probably does already.

“Yes.” is all you say.

An odd assortment of a smile crosses his face, not happy but at least pleased for the development, he then went back to his blunt nature.

“I will even be so bold as to say you are not here from Teyvat, correct?”

“Yes” tears built at your eyes. 2 years of work gone, 2 years of struggling to keep the truth bound, the thing you tried to die for to keep all gone.

“There are matters I do not understand, such as the truth of the reason for your attempt yesterday but what I do know is that you are not of Teyvat, that the way my sister looks at the Traveller is the exact same way Thoma looks at you, bewitched by some foreign entity.”

What?

“I know that the Traveller is not of Teyvat, they themself have stated this to both Ayaka and myself and it was a stretch at first to make the claim you were the same as them for the simple reason that Thoma fell for you as Ayaka did for the traveller but what perhaps confirmed my suspicion was when I felt that pull as well. For some reason the way my sister described her fondness for the traveller it was only you I could imagine, when I saw Thomas eyes alight in excitement at seeing you I could tell exactly what it is since I feel the same. For nearly no reason this feeling appeared.”

He cleared his throat and continued, “I didn't only come to this conclusion based on feeling, I, as I do with all those who involve themself with the members of the clan, had research done into your past. There is no record of your existence in any school of Sumeru, there is no record of anything proving of your past, no family line or even record of you arriving by boat which is all recorded by name, yours were on no such documents.”

He sighs and then relaxes his shoulders, like he is glad he's gotten the hard part over.

“Do not worry, I can assure you I see you no less as I did before and I can promise that Thoma is the same, he in fact needs to know the truth. I have not told him of my own discoveries just yet but when he gets back I hope you reveal the light of truth on everything here and the burden you decided to relieve yourself of.”

It's hard to actually listen to him, you are too busy swimming through the currents of your own thoughts to really hear what he has to say, if you had you'd have noticed just how fond he really was being, the slight curve of his forehead in concern, the way he spoke in a tone confident but also reassuring. Ayato is a man who puts his family, friends and the clan first, even in this instance he was doing that, whatever his personal feelings on the matter were they were subdued.

You look down to the table and see the fruits of your labour, sour, distasteful fruits that bore no other purpose but to make one sick on consumption: your letters. It seemed a good idea at first but now the sight of your handwriting was nauseating, you couldn't even bare properly rereading it, to see those words you meant to be comforting only being a stain and reminder to the people who had to read them of the bilious nature of your actions. Poor Thoma…

You had no words for Ayato, not out of fear or resentment but simply because it felt like you had disappointed him, the only way you could try to make this all better is to come clean about everything, he's made it clear, there is no more hiding. Now the weighting doom of changing the course of fate didn't matter, what mattered is the crestfallen frown on his face and mellow gaze, what mattered was the troubled Thoma in the other room whom grasped at you to stay so tightly even through all the torment you've lead him though. It's over, not the good kind of ‘over' like dying would have been, your life would be over and the secrets and threat you bring would have been over, no the ‘over’ you experience is the loss of hope. Its over, all the attempts and work, the secrets and efforts made to try keep this world as safe from changing as possible was all over.

Ayato let you mull in silence, he cleared his desk and closed his eyes in wait. Not long after Thoma returned, kettle in hand and cups at the ready. He seemed quiet, more collected and focused on the task of pouring tea before sitting next to you, his folded knee jutting up and down being the only show of his nerves. He took a breath, turned to you and smiled.

“I really do just want you to know I am happy you are still here, that I want to give you all the support and care I can to make sure you know you being here is just so important. I know that I don't understand everything you've gone through and that me saying all this doesn't help make it easier but-” he had to grit his teeth, his voice stirred slightly and slight beads of tears brimmed at his eyes,”but you don't have to be alone. Right now or even dealing with your past, you don't have to be alone.”

Your breathing hitched, chest lurched and fresh tears escaped, how couldn't you? You tried to cover your mouth of noises but couldn't help but curl into yourself and cry, you don't want to do this anymore, you want his support, you want to confide in him, you want to live. Thoma rubbed your back while you cried, gentle reaffirming strokes and just let you release all the build up. After regaining yourself you lifted yourself back up, swallowed the last fragments of tears and tried to secure yourself. You took some breaths and calmed down. Thoma held your shoulder, a physical display of support, you looked up and only saw Ayato watching with an unreadable expression. Right, you need to come clean. To… get it over with…

“Thoma, thank you for this, I'm sorry, I really am.” You could tell he tried to speak, to tell you it's okay or not your fault or something along those lines but he kept himself quiet and let you speak.

“I’ll… I'll come clean about it all, about everything.” This is it. “I'm not originally from Teyvat, I believe you know the Traveller and how they aren't either? Yeah I'm something like that. So no, I'm not from Sumeru or have lived here my whole life. Just woke up one day from my world into this one and… that was that. No explanation, no guide, no help…”

Ayato had no reaction, he knew, Thoma was wide eyed in shock but stayed silent, to him you shared memories of your ‘past’, to hear what you have shared with him was wrapped in falsification was… hurtful to know that what he did know of you was all a lie in his eyes but still, he remained silent and let you continue.

“I'm sorry, I am. I didn't want to lie and a lot of the stuff I did say is true. I just… I just covered it up to match my story of being from Sumeru.”

“It-It must be hard” Thoma meekly said, “to have lost everything, your home and family… I can see why things have been so hard and confusing for you.”

You nodded to his words. It is hard, it is bloody hard. All the plans you had made for your future, your loved ones and hopes… you'll never get to see them bloom, you'll never get to see the person you hoped you'd become because you had been stripped away from everything. The extra layer of knowing what world you came into and the threat you caused of course did not help lighten the load.

You've been away for 2 years and there is no hope of going back but you are here now and have to deal with the present.

“So that's basically it.”

Ayato's frown deepened, “There is more.” his words cut through the air bluntly. “There is more to the story you haven't told us, many things that don't add up-”

“Ayato please,” Thoma interrupted him, “let them say what they need and-”

“No, they said they would clear things up here and I will make sure it is so.” he moved his gaze back to you, it was penetrating into your soul nearly emotionlessly. “So I will ask, what is the truth to your ‘introvert’ label? Why distance yourself from others at random when in your position you are needing as much support as possible?”

Shit… shit shit shit, you can't even keep this? You can't even keep the fact you know this is a game secret? Whatever… he's right, you said you'd come clean.

“... I know things I really shouldn't if I was to make a life here. It may be confusing but in short the world of Teyvat is not where I was born but I know of it, I know of its people and some of its history and even select parts of its future. I was just… trying not to change the story. I was never supposed to be here, me being here goes against what's supposed to happen- I was scared I'd change something and things would go bad, that the good endings won't happen because I've done something so I tried to distance myself from it all but i've failed! I've failed and the story has changed and I don't know what's going to happen next!”

Thoma was quiet, now this was a bit too much for him to respond to but predicting the unpredictable is Ayato's strong suit, he didn't falter his questioning even at such a bizarre statement such as the one you made.

“Why? What element has changed that pushes you to believe you’ve doomed this world?”

“Ayaka left! She's not supposed to! I don't know how or why me existing changed the story but Ayaka was supposed to stay here in Inazuma and only Yoiymiya goes to Sumeru. Now its all wrong and I don't know just what else i've affected.”

Silence for a moment, Thoma still doing his best to soak in everything while Ayato shifted his gaze away from you, when he spoke he still refused to look you in the eye. “Hmm, seems your paranoia was proven right then, it is your presence that has changed the future you believe was to take place and in truth the fault is mine.” He looked back at you, “See when I heard of Ayakas excitement in the potential trip to Sumeru I thought it would be a great opportunity, not only for her to gain new experiences but also to ask you something i've had my mind on for a while.” Thoma perked at this, recognising what Ayato was referring to.

“I had hoped to ask you to extend your services to the Kamisato clan, in whatever element suited you, I assume in the kitchen though Thoma did not disagree with the idea of potentially aiding him in his duties.” What? He wanted you to join the clan? Why? Like reading your mind he answered your unspoken questions, “See I thought you being stationed here may help the issue you seemed to have about your ‘introvertness’ with Thoma as well as providing a fresh start for you to reforge your relation with him, of course this would all be a suggestion and if you didn't agree then there is no loss and you can simply continue as you were. That is why I encouraged Ayaka to go, not only for herself but to allow you some space to get used to the idea of potentially staying here.” So that's why… but still, why?!

Thoma interrupted your thoughts, a fresh wave of excitement running through him, “But it's okay now! Now you've let us know everything and sure it's a little hard for me to understand right now but things have been cleared up and everything can go back to normal! We can work on things together and you can rely on us for help so all the other stuff can just be put to the side for now.”

“I must disagree with that Thoma, things cannot go back to normal.” Both you and Thoma turned to Ayato for his explanation, “See they have brought forth an issue, if there is supposedly a prewritten fate we follow and such story has a good end, that their influence can change such story and has already proven to do so then… that is something to consider as a threat.”

“What? No, Ayato-”

“Thoma, I am not suggesting we take the route they tried, their death is not a solution but rather I suggest the best way to reduce the effect they have is to narrow the area of impact of their presence.” Thoma sat himself back down and listened, his ability to understand Ayato far surpassed your own, you only heard his words, Thoma was on the same scale as him. “Ah, so you suggest they stay here?”

Huh? No, that still doesn't solve the issue though! You are still going to change stuff, being in the clan may make it even worse!

“I'm sorry but that can't happen!” you state, you cant let them doom themselves,”I can't stay here, you've seen I change the things around me so me being here is not a solution.”

“And what do you suggest then? Death is not an answer. Wherever you go you will impact the environment around you, is it not wise to be in an area that is accustomed to handling threats and problems? To be within the vicinity and means of a place such as here with people like Ayaka and myself whom can negate such issues? That is even under the assumption you can cause damage with your existence, all we know is that you can change this supposed ‘plot’ but have you seen any actual harm come from it?”

Your silence answers him.

“Right, though it is important to be concerned and prepared. Staying here is no prison I can assure you,” his smile brightens up to a chuckle “in fact my original plan was for it to be a holiday for you. The environment is interesting to explore, there is much you can learn from the people here and most of all friends who are willing to show you support which it seems you so desperately need. To me there is no questioning it, staying here is the best course of action for you.”

You could have thought up a retort, some explanation as to why he was wrong and why going back to your ‘normal’ life was better but there is a certain air around Ayato in moments like this where doubting his reasoning is unheard of and denying them is impossible. He was right, he's always right after all.

“Are you sure? Are you sure this is all… this is all okay? Is me being here okay?”

“For further confirmation, yes it is. Thoma?”

Thoma grasped your shoulder again and leaned to your side, a great wave of support rushing from him, “I think it's an awesome plan. You don't have to worry about a thing, we’ll all have it settled for you!”

“Right, could you go make sure their room is properly prepared? I'd imagine they need some rest after all this. A proper, peaceful sleep can do wonders to soothe the soul and you will find no safer place than under my roof. “

Thoma used your shoulder for a moment to get himself back up, “I'll be back in a jiffy okay!” and made a quick pass to the backrooms.

You and Ayato watched him go in silence, when he was out of sight and out of earshot Ayato repositioned himself.

“He does not know about the foreign effect you may have on him. Once again it is only a theory to suggest that just because you and the Traveller are not of Teyvat you have some bewitching effect but there are some elements of truth to such a theory, still I think it is unwise to tell him this. To tell him his feelings are fabricated would break him…” Ayato closed his eyes and sighed, he looked tired, “And it truly would be a shame to name these-those feelings as false.”

That wouldn't be good… “Okay, I won't tell him about it. … …” you really are tired, your mind isnt working as it should anymore. The adrenaline of shock has worn down and the latent feeling of exhaustion had begun to ebb its way through your very bones, at a moment of self reflection you felt your arms so much heavier to hold, legs stiffened all while the dim pain of the wounds across your body became recognisable. A good rest is what you need…

Ayato didn't say a word after, only left you to your own musings.

“It's all set up! There are fresh towels and guest clothes if you want to bathe but otherwise it was all pretty much done!” Thoma did a slight jog to your side and offered you a hand, “You need help getting there?”

You look up at him, for a room rather dim he outshone the very sun itself. “I think I just want to rest for now, i'll bathe later.” You reach up and take his hand, do a little wobble as you reconnect with the notion of having to walk, Thoma readily supplied his elbow for you to hold onto as well as you got your balance.

“Alrighty. Just hold on and don't shy away from leaning your weight on me okay? I've got you.” you two take a few tentative steps to test it out, walking seemed doable now.

“I'll send them off to bed, i'll be back shortly my lord.”

Ayato looked back at you two and gifted a smile, “Rest well then.” you did a slight nod in return.

Even with the support of Thoma and still retaining the ability to walk the short trip down the hall seemed so much more of a struggle then it should have. Not only was your body in dull pain but your mind was simply tired, overrun and everything slowly seemed to mesh into each other. Thoma was true to his word and kept you upright, guiding you to a neatly made bed and gently easing you into the cushioning. After 2 years of a cheap bed and your most recent nap being in the sand and hardwood floor the feeling of high quality bedding was sensational, a moment of respite from feelings and thoughts.

“You all settled in?” Thomas' voice sounded muffled in your half sleep state but you registered him with a nod.

“I'm glad…”

The cushions you lay on shuffled, his weight sat nearby you. “You know you really did scare me there, when I saw- when you were brought here in the state you were I didn't know what to do, something so unlike me. I didn't know if I wanted to rush for medical care or just to slump down beside you and cover you.” He leaned down, his head lay on the mattress beside your shoulder, his one arm wrapped around you, an awkward hug of one person sitting and another laying down. “At least I can do this now, please just let me indulge in this for a little, everything is just a lot to take in still.” He sighed out his tension then shifted his head to lean slightly on yours. “I know this is wrong of me but in truth I can be rather selfish. I want to be selfish here and not only show you how much I care for you but also how much I love you which is wrong because… because I don't love you. It would be insensitive to both you and myself to label this obsessive feeling as ‘love’ and I don't want to do that… Only now, only now will I be a little selfish and join in the delusion that this is love.”

…

“but I want to make this scalding passion of deranged obsession into the soft warmth I know it can be, of genuine endearment and not just an infatuation.”

He lifted himself to finally look at you, he had tears running down his face, “So you can't go. You can't leave me until that happens. You can't leave until I can properly say I love you, okay? I'll be here every step of the way, you can lean on me, you can trust me and I'll give you my everything so please give it your all and just… keep finding the incentive to keep going.” He pursed his lips in a strained attempt of a smile, gave up on trying and instead leant back down to give the crown of your head a kiss. He got up and stood by your side. “Sleep well, I'm sure tomorrow will be the start to a beautiful new future.” He closed the door and left.

If you had been in a more stable sense of mind there was a lot you could have responded to him, the not-so love confession, the odd descriptions of desperation and just how close he got but your mind was fazed, Thoma gave you nothing but comfort as you went to bed, he hugged you and told you it will be okay and that was nice, the feeling of the linin was nice, the chance to close your eyes was nice… He left you off with a nice feeling.

“All is settled then?”

“Yep, they should have no problem falling asleep, they were practically already unconscious once we got there.”

Ayato laughed and Thoma sat back at his original position, by now Ayato had taken out some late night documents to go over while waiting.

“So, did you tell them?”

“Hmm? Which part?”

“haha, your feelings Thoma, knowing you you would have.”

Thoma on reflex scratched the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly at being so easily caught.

“Yeah I did though with the state they were in they probably didn't hear any of it.”

“Which is why you felt you could tell them hmm?” Ayato looked up to Thoma with a knowing eye, “You are just as bad as me you know.”

“haha, have I been caught? You really can't blame me though, I learnt all my skills from you.”

“And yet at times I wonder if you are even more skilled than I when it comes to swaying one's mind.”

“yeah…” Thoma dulled off, “I'm still confused about it all. I care, that part is undoubted and all the time we spent together really means something but I just can't put my hand on all these feelings. It's not what I think love feels like, not entirely. Haaaa, all I know is that I want to be by them and I guess that will do for now until I figure it all out.” Thoma shifted his weight and got more comfortable, “What about you though? Such feelings are just disruptive to you, right?”

Ayato hummed,”Perhaps but that is nothing I can't deal with and as you can see I am dealing with it. I do hope the notion of sharing isn't distasteful to you, I know we've met a consensus about this but I want to ensure we are on the same page here. Your friendship is much too important to risk over miscommunication.”

“haha of course! Your feelings are just as valid as mine.”

“Good.” Ayato smiled fondly then returned to his papers. Thoma sighed in mock exhaustion, “That's the face you pull when you're thinking about work. Haha, I will leave you to your important papers, do not work too much and fall asleep at your desk again, okay? You don't want to be ruining your back at such a young age.”

“haha. Yes Thoma, good night.”

“Goodnight my lord, just let me know if you need anything done alright!”

“You know I will.”

Ayato shook his head at his friends teasing, it is fun when Thoma is the one responding with tauts of his own. Thoma left Ayato to his business in the slightly dimmed room.

For as much as Thoma has grown around Ayato, for being the closest person to understand him and balance the position of respectful employee and casual friend, it is still funny to Ayato how he can still be so oblivious to things. Of course his mind is not only on work, however could it be when finally you were in his home, in his care and finally he can display his… love.

Rest is crucial for recovery, on any normal day you'd let guilt swallow you for staying in bed for as long as you have this day, waking up in the late morning and simply laying in bed till afternoon, this is peak sloth behaviour but in all you deserve it, you are on ‘holiday’ you are allowed to be a little lazy here. After waking up you had gone through quite a bit of internal conflict, between failing to ‘delete’ yourself of this world, revealing everything, going through the motions and now seemingly stuck here it's all just a lot to process. There is joy brought from the relief that you no longer must carry these burdens but also disgust that you have let the situation get to the state that it is in now. Everythings changed yet at the core nothing has. When your mind tired of thinking it just wallowed in the present feelings, how lovely the bedding is, how scenic the light looks coming from the window, how lovely the atmosphere of the room is, you had been left off with such a lovely feeling last night, odd considering the nature the night took, but for some reason everything just felt so comfortable when you let your mind just dissipated and ease into the surroundings. Eventually you figured you should get up, that there was enough strength in your legs to keep you steady. You got changed into the provided clean clothes and left to find someone to ask about getting something to eat. It's rather awkward walking these halls not knowing where you are meant to be but Thoma and Ayato said you were a guest so it should be fine. You reached the main clearing where Ayato's desk sat, where you three conversed last night, and as if nothing had changed since then Ayato was sat exactly where he had been left off, his eyes scanning papers and writing or editing others, he placed his brush down as you entered.

“Good afrternoon, I hope you were able to sleep well. Shall I arrange for someone to prepare you a meal?”

It's still slightly odd to be casual with Ayato after last night but if this is how things are going to go from now on then you truly do need to get used to it.

“Yes and yes please, thank you.” you gave a slight bow, you can't help being awkward no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise.

Ayato chuckled, of course he did, he saw the world in 4D compared to you, of course he found something funny. “Then please, have a seat. Any meal requirements?”

You word off your response and Ayato relays it to a staff member he calls in. After the order was completed Ayato went back to his work while also starting the conversation, hes easily noticed a pattern when it comes to your reluctance to initiate it in your own stead.

“Now that you have some free time from work, are there any activities you'd like to try? I want you to consider your time here as a holiday and for that I will provide whatever materials you need to make that happen.”

“Oh, no. I'd just like to relax for a bit before making any plans on activities.”

“haha, I meant anything to help with that. Do let me know when you think of anything, there are very few items I cannot provide so the options are yours to demand.”

“mhm…” you nod your head but say little else. Ayato lets this slide and allows you to sit in your peace. In time a well prepared meal is brought to you, you sit to the side of the room and eat with yourself as company, as it has been for the last 2 years. 2… years… Your previous life really is just gone now, everything is gone. You don't have anything, you don't have to do anything, you don't have- no you do have some things. You have a supportive friend, Thoma, you have… Ayato perhaps? He says he will provide for you. What else do you have?

Nothing, you cant even say you have your own life to live, you cant even do that.

Quickly you swallow down both your thoughts and the least of your meal, you've brooded enough today doing it more won't help. You thank the person who takes what remains of your meal and then rejoin Ayato who, much to your surprise, has not left his spot (the surprise being sarcastic since it would shock no one to see the head of a clan swamped in governmental affairs). You walk back up to his table almost as if awaiting orders or just something to tell you what to do, where you should be just anything to help alleviate the concern of not being where you belong. Ayato let his brush lay back on the table, he closed his eyes and sighed as an indulgent smile graced his face. When he looked back up to where you so awkwardly stood he showed only adoration shortly broken as he shakes his head with a chuckle.

“This may surprise you, I know this isn't the proper setting to say this,’ he stood up and made his way to you, “but I do so enjoy being unpredictable and I can't pass up on this opportunity.” he stood right in front of you, posture poised and proper but radiating only mischief. “My dear I must confess i've come to love you.”

Huh-

You feel a hand on your cheek. “There it is, what a pretty expression.”

huh…

The hand cups around your flesh, leather to skin, chill to warmth.

“It's true. I do adore you-”

“no…”

“hmm?”

“you can't…”

“haha, really I can-”

“No. You Can't!”

You grit your teeth as you feel your hands begin to shake. He can't, he can't love you, that's too much, too much of an impact. The change, the change that could come from him LOVING you, no its too much. Your hands move to grip the arm reached to you, “you- you can't. You just- that's not how… how any, any of-” you are crying again, surprising how your body still has enough tears to shed after everything. You can't feel your legs anymore, they aren't working again, your hands are shaking, they aren't working again, you can't feel yourself breath, you are not working again. You don't register yourself fall, you only see the rise of doom again. Everything was fine, you had JUST accepted your situation but you can't accept this. This is going to change everything- it's so hard to breathe…

Ayato kneeled down with you, he held his one arm to your waist leaning you into him as his other cradled the back of your head, fingers intertwining between the strands of your hair and stroking along in a calm motion.

“I was scared of this but I felt it best to tell you now. In truth I was devastated with the events of yesterday but held on for as much as I could to secure everyone, it is only fair I am open to you as you were with us.”

no-

“The love I have for you is true and it would be my greatest honour to support you as I do with my clan, with you as a part of the clan.”

no-

“I understand your fears, whatever concerns you have of the future changing. I want you to know I am well resourced to handle them.”

You can only cry.

“It is early for me to confess but it is my sign to you that I hope for a future where we may share such a sentiment. We can grow together and face your fears together.”

why-

His hand strokes feel reassuring…

"Your tears remind me of the rain, both comforting and disturbing. How I cringe at each drop yet yearn to hear them patter against me. My dear please do remember for each storm or drizzle you bring to me I will open my arms for whichever embrace you bring."

You lean back into him, he's got you.

“To know you are here is reassurance enough, I want- I do love you.”

For as comforting as his hold is, for how easy it feels to accept his words it all feels murky. You lay in the sun-touched waters of the ocean, warm as it engulfs you in the most pleasing manner but it is sticky, it clings to you and you cannot shake the feeling of the undercurrent grasping at your ankle slowly leading you deeper into its embrace, it's easier to accept.

Ayato is right, he's always right and here he is offering you his love. You have been given the best opportunity you could ever achieve considering your situation, you have been given the freedom to finally ‘live’. With Thoma supporting you and Ayato willing to address any threat that may come you have been given a beautiful new start at a paranoid free life and not only that but to be graced as to have someone love you as well? It's amazing, you are so lucky.

“That's it my dear, I am here at your side.”

You sink into his arms, your cries can finally stop. “If we believe that tomorrow will come, we can bear a hardship today. For today, tomorrow and everyday that follows you may cry, you may hurt but you will never be alone. Alright? Do not feel pressured by my confession, I merely want to show you that you are loved.”

Ayato sighs deeply and readjusts to hold you tighter, lays his head on yours and remains quiet but the stroking of his hand never stops. The time flows by easily, your arms stop shaking, your breathing returns, you can sense your body's weight so clearly but you can feel the pillar that is Ayato keeping you up.

"Thank you." you mumble eventually

Ayato hums in question

"Thank you for everything. thank you for… loving me"

You can feel the wide smile grace Ayato, “You needn't thank me for something so natural.”

You don't clearly register the world around you while enveloped in Ayato's hold but you can hear footsteps, someone speaking, someone sitting nearby. Ayato's shoulder is cool and refreshing, the hand that holds yours at the side is cosy and tender, you are so lucky.

An explanation blurb for those who want to read some of the reasonings for how i went about this

Header done by me cause i felt like whipping up a quick pixel art

#yahooworks #genshin x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #genshin impact ayato #genshin thoma #yandere male #genshin x reader #yandere thoma x reader #yandere ayato x reader #yandere ayato #yandere thoma #genshin x female reader #genshin x male reader

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s1ater · 1 year

Text

boy in the rain.

pairings. matt sturniolo x fem!reader

about. one simple offer of a ride home in the rain turns into an unforgettable relationship and sad ending.

warnings. death, swearing, and unedited

ricky rocks. this might be a hit or miss, so don't dawg on me too hard.

pictures of him were plastered everywhere.

your heart was buried deep in your stomach from the moment you saw it and it only sunk deeper and deeper the more the hours past, the voices that rung through your ears, and the solumn feeling that colored the hallways.

dead. he's dead.

believe it, don't believe it, you still searched for his face as each person passed you, in each class that you entered; looked for any sign of him.

but he was dead.

you stood beneath the awning of the gas station, gazing out at the summer rain looking to pour itself onto anything and everything unprotected. you frowned hard as you observed, not expecting your walk for a slushy to be intruded on, especially this abruptly. it was a humid night and therefore even more horrendous that such heavy rainfall came to clash.

you sighed, making a move to go back into the grimy gas station when he called out.

“hey, you need a ride?”

you stopped, turning toward the direction of the only car inhabiting the gas stations parking lot, squinting, and indicating a boy in the front driver's seat. he wore a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over his head, squinting back at you due to the rain spitting in his face from his rolled down window.

you knew him.

"are you serious?"

you can barely hear his laugh, but it was there, and you almost melted right there to the cement, "yes. c'mon, I won't leave you stranded."

the ten feet you had to walk to his car was horrible, so you were immediately thankful for the offer the moment you slung yourself into his car. he must have been able to tell too by the way his laugh once again rung through your ears, watching you attempt to catch your breath in his passenger seat.

"I'm matt," he smiled from ear to ear in amusement, offering his hand to you as you clutched your sopping wet body.

"I know," you chattered through your teeth, no longer suffering from the everlasting summer heat from outside, but the air conditioner blasting in matt's car. "sturniolo."

"oh, you know," he was still highly entertained by whatever this situation he put himself in, especially by the way you side eyed his hand still waiting for yours. "you cold?"

"no," you lied through your teeth, still shaking.

he smiles, turning the ac off and switching the heat on low, "right. what's your name?"

you felt a sudden chest pain at the question. you had been going to school with matt since the 7th grade. you had classes with him, had seen him outside of school at parties, hangouts. you knew who he was, so why didn't he know who you were?

your frown was obvious, and he couldn't help but have felt that he fucked up, like his question was preposterous and insulting, "moe."

a lie, again. and just like the first, he could tell it was one, once again.

"you go to mountainview, right?"

"yeah."

he nods, and the previous amused smile is gone and a narrowed stare is there to replace it. he's unsure why you lied and why you were suddenly so upset.

"shit, I'm getting your seats wet," you suddenly became hyperaware of your drenched self pressed into his leather seats.

"you're good," he glanced to your lap suddenly, watching you squirm, as if attempting to reposition yourself in some way where you weren't soaking his seats, but you only made yourself look like a fool. "I wouldn't have asked you in the car if I cared so much about my seats."

you smiled sympathetically.

"so, moe, where to?"

his locker was heavily decorated. flowers, hearts, cards, pictures of him with friends, pictures of just him. you stood across from it, staring at each individual item that was taped down to show love and sympathy and hope. you glanced down to the palm of your hand, clutching the necklace you held tightly before bringing it right in front of you.

the necklace, or rather locket, swayed back and forth with the golden heart weighing it down.

it was no longer meant to be yours.

"how'd you get that?"

your head cranked to the left where a boy stared you down, his cheeks flushed but vision narrowed down on you, "huh?" you quickly dropped your arm down, shoving the piece into your pocket.

"where'd you get that?"

your eyes widen, realizing this was an exact replica of matt storming toward you, but with longer hair; chris. you felt your heart push up into your throat, feeling yourself backing on your feet the closer he got.

"answer me."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," you swing around, marching away from him the best you could as he still tried to trail behind you.

"that's matty's."

"this rain is going to kill me," you watch his knuckles flex over the railing as he grasped it tightly, leaning over the edge, gazing into the pitch dark. it had been weeks since matt had first picked you up in a rain storm at that gas station, and ironically, once again he had found you.

the two of you now sat in a watchtower in the middle of town that you had taken him to the first night, gazing out at the building lights being blurred by the rain that hadn’t let up in days. matt was impatient by this, you didn’t have to know him well or see him more than a minute to know this.

“why don’t you like the rain?” you laughed silently at him as you watched him grit his teeth, turning back around to face you.

he suddenly looks sad.

you regret asking the question.

"I just lost someone really special to me," his eyes strayed from yours, meeting the wall of rain behind you, "and the day it happened... all it did was rain."

you watch him carefully. his tone was steady but you could tell it took a lot in him to keep it that way.

"I-" his hand reaches for the chain around his neck out of sudden instinct, wrapping his fingers around the golden material. "I can't stand rain, not after that. it makes me feel sick to my stomach. it's all I think about and it's like it's following me."

you feel a sudden push on your body, like a force guiding you to him, "oh, matt-"

"y/n-"

"I'm sorry," you ignore the short sound of protest, finding yourself attaching to him with your arms wrapped around his neck. "I'm sorry."

his body is stiff and cold and you can tell that everything in him is trying to resist the warmth of your own. he wants to not want it, but he fails the resistance and every voice in his head telling him he was fine and the hug was a ridiculous gesture. he fails, allowing the barrier of your warmth to immerse into him, accepting the hug that was really far from ridiculous, but needed.

you weren't going to go.

after your small encounter with chris, you were practically setting yourself up by attending matt's funeral. but you couldn't not go, not after everything.

that morning it had rained.

that had been a first since one of the last days of summer. the rain had glistened everything, made everything seem so renewed and bright and so fresh for a november evening.

it took a lot for you to walk through those doors, walk up those stairs, and even sit down to watch the service. you could barely sit there for a second before walking right back out onto the front steps.

you feel suffocated. you claw at your chest, digging your fingers against your skin before they find the locket--looping your fingers against the golden chain out of instinct—like he did. you dip your head backwards, inhaling strongly, trying to breathe the images of matt away from your mind.

bad idea.

especially when you realize you're not the only one on the front steps.

“you’re moe, aren’t you?”

you look down and the feeling in your chest becomes worse.

chris stares up at you from where he sits on the cement steps. you can't tell what the look in his eyes are, but it's nothing you find enjoyment in--especially when they mirror matt's exact pupils, his exact iris', his exact color...

you feel deeply disturbed that he looks at you with something that matt never did.

“yeah…”

he scoffs, running his hand down his mouth, "yeah... great."

"how'd you know?"

"that's our mother's chain, y/n," he looks back around and ahead of him, but still mindlessly points back at the golden locket around your neck. "she gave it to matt before she passed."

oh.

oh. oh. oh god.

"but I'm sure he told you if he gave it to you."

no, he didn't.

"how'd you know I was moe?"

he laughs a little, genuine as he digs the heel of his palm into his eyes, "moe; 'heaven', 'rain', and 'sky' from burmese origins. he knew you were lying the moment you told him that, but he didn't know why or even why 'moe'?" you smiled to yourself. "had us up all night looking up the meaning of 'moe' and decided it had to be that. met in the rain, name means rain."

"clever," you whispered, slowly taking a seat next to chris. "couldn't keep anything anyway from him."

"yeah or you're just shit at lying," he scoffs, glancing at you. "but it's funny you tried."

"funny I tried," you mumbled to yourself, shaking your head, as if laughing at yourself.

you knew about chris and you knew about nick, just like you had known matt before you actually knew him. but getting to know matt, was also like getting to know his two other triplets. he told you everything.

and because of that, he told you about chris.

"I should give this to you," you find yourself reaching behind your neck, unclasping the locket from your neck. "it belongs to you."

he told you how chris never took anything seriously, he told you how chris was really good at brightening a room because of it, and he told you how angry chris was when matt was the one given the locket and not him.

it made a lot more sense now that that friend was actually their mother.

chris glanced at you before doing a double take, realizing what you were doing. his eyes softened fast at the sight of the heart swinging back and forth between the two of you. he didn't take it. you were both sitting there, watching the priceless piece hold there for the taking, and he still didn't take it.

"y/n," his voice is soft and almost sympathetic, but his eyes are still trained tightly on the piece of jewelry. "that's-that's, I can't take that."

but no matter how angry chris was about the locket, he accepted it wasn't his. and what wasn't his, he wouldn't take.

"what do you mean?"

"matty gave that to you. it's yours."

"but I don't deserve it."

"y/n," he shakes his head, pushing the necklace back to you. "it's yours now, okay? there's a reason matt was given that locket and there's a reason it was given to you, okay? I don't need it," he shakes his head, his eyes wide and red. "I don't need it."

you feel your eyes burn. the desperate sound of chris' voice makes you want to burst out into tears. you don't know what to do, and he can tell. he takes the locket, but not for reasons you want.

"here," you watch chris dig into his suit before pulling out an envelope. "before... everything," he coughs a little, beginning to feel his throat closing up. "matt wrote you something."

all icy provision from before has melted. his whole body is turned all the way to face you now, no longer to you as a stranger, but someone he understands.

"take it," he paired the envelope with the necklace before pushing it to you. "read it when it rains."

"you ever get sick of me?"

it was a month and half into the school year and what you thought was only going to be a summer friendship, blossomed into something else.

your question made matt arch a brow, questioning if you were being serious, "what?"

"I mean day and night, we're the only people that see each other. how do your friends not hate you?"

it was true. you rarely ever saw matt at school unless in the halls or even on small occasions of going to lunch together, but it was like every time after that, he was at your house. matt valued his time and when it was open and free, he always spent it with you.

you had had this conversation before, multiple times. you were always the one who started them.

"I could never get sick of you."

the only reason you questioned it so often was because of how different you and matt were. the two of you becoming friends and being as close as you were was the most unlikely thing you could ever think of. the two of you had no connections what so ever in friends, hobbies, or even classes. your lives rarely ever crossed beyond in the hallways or parties.

"you act like we're not friends," he crashes onto your living room couch, slightly amused. "you're my best friend."

you feel your face burn at the comment. it paralyzes you more than it should. you also considered matt to be your best friend, but it still catches you off guard hearing the words allowed. you're not sure what to say.

"im not yours?"

"you are."

"I figured," he's grinning now, "just making sure."

it's silent.

"I value our time a lot, you know that," you've heard this a million times, but you could never get sick of it. "we don't know how much time we get with someone, so it's important to me to fill my time with someone I care about."

you finally take a seat next to him, watching him with a ghost of a smile on your face as he speaks.

we don't know how much time we get with someone.

"I want to give you this."

you watch as matt brings his hands behind his neck, unclasping the chain that you had became so accustomed to seeing around his neck.

your mouth slightly opens, "what?"

"I want you to-"

"matt, that's-" you shake your head, cutting yourself off. you couldn't even process this gesture. "I can't take that from you."

"you can."

you really couldn't. the first time you had seen the locket was the first time he had told you about why he didn't like the rain. he had clutched onto it like a safety net. after that, that necklace was all you could see on him half the time. it took him two months for him to tell you what it was and that was exactly why you couldn't take it from him.

"I can't, matty."

"why?"

"because it's yours and I can't take something that was given to you--especially if it was by someone who mattered a lot to you."

he looks as if he thinks about it, his eyes lowering down, looking to the gold heart, before back up to you, "yeah..."

even if you were right, he didn't care. the piece was always significant to him, but there was a point in time where he was ready to let it go--hence why he left it on your kitchen counter without your knowledge.

moe,

I know you're already laughing at me, wondering why you're reading something I could easily say over the phone. but I know you eat this up, even if you like to think it's corny.

you were never someone I thought I needed. from the moment I received that locket from my mother, was the moment I was ready to give up. my mother was my best friend and someone who taught me everything that matters.

you remind me of her--in the least weirdest way possible. you made me what I missed, you were exactly what I needed and wanted.

you keep me sane and well structured. I used to hate getting up in the morning, but after that moment, in the watch tower, when you hugged me even as we were strangers, I couldn't wait to wake up to see your face again.

I felt like a fool. I felt like how chris probably feels everyday. it's a feeling I hope I never forget or never leaves me.

you are special. you are worth all the time in the world. the day I forget that or the day I forget my priorities is a day i'm dead.

I hope to never lose you or whatever it is we have, and if I do, moe, my sweet, sweet moe, I'll find you in the rain.

matty.

#matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fanfiction #fluff

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savnofilter · 29 days

Text

Third Date | t. amajiki

Pro Hero!Yandere!Tamaki Amajiki x [FEM]Reader

WARNING(S): sexual content, possessive ideations, stalking, mentions of voyeurism, Tamaki was pinning for awhile, sex after third date, oral sex (f ->m), age gap (~3 years), (new) established relationship.

COUNT: 1.9k words.

READ MORE: masterlist | adult masterlist

A/N: this originally was supposed to be a losing virginity fic but wasn't really feeling it.... I'll have to go back and edit some stuff if I do make a pt. 2 into that. this was supposed to be from a req but it def ain't it follow the order. 😭 so here's this, ig.

You looked so beautiful tonight.

Alas, finally , it wasn't only meetings and missions that you two found yourselves busy with seeing each other. Instead, you were now officially dating and here you were in the back of his car at the end of your third date. Consequently, today was the third date you two have been on and he was getting ready to propose. Yes, propose.

There was no better sight than observing the way your tongue gilded so effortlessly against the underside of his cock, your taste buds adding a rough and smooth sensation that made him shiver. Just as you made it to the tip, you looked up at him in the dimly lit car, holding back a smirk as you watched him tremble and tense up at the undivided attention from you. Softly humming in delight you finally take in his cock once again and moan as you relax your throat to deep throat his third leg.

Before you had agreed to dating the young man, you were very much aware of his “crush”.

You had never interacted with him that much and hardly knew about him from your school years; except for the strong title of being in the “Big 3”. That wasn't a title to take very lightly if we're being honest. Him and his friends (or friend, rather) would watch their seniors train, and he wasn't the first or last individual to be entranced by you. Though, unlike the others who would simply try to impress or strike up conversations with you, he was the opposite. Amajiki would quietly watch from afar, drag behind, be the most unnoticeable person in the room which is what intrigued you. Soon you'd realize he was everywhere and when he graduated he was officially part of the same agency as you. As slick as he thought he was, you could tell what he was trying to achieve.

So you played along too, only because you found it amusing. You never had interest in him as you chalked it up to him just really admiring you a lot and his passiveness wasn't really your style anyways. Besides that, he wasn’t the only dedicated fan you had seen from over the years. But nothing could prepare you for his actual intentions. It wasn't until he started making advances as the years progressed that you had no choice but to take him seriously and not only mistake him for being an avid #1 fan.

What you didn't know is why he wouldn't overtly make himself known to you.

From the incident which you don't even remember as your first time meeting him, was the day you saved his life. You two had lived in the same district as one another and of course you being the more trained and skilled aspiring hero meant that you were out on the field quite often.

One of the days where Tamaki thought it was high time for him to go out by himself was when a villain decided to wreak havoc. Although he could have most certainly fought the villain off if his diet was right that day, he likes to think that the slim chance was because you two were destined to meet. To keep it real simple, you changed his trajectory. Effortlessly with a strong grip and amazing prowess, it was obvious that you were meant to be a hero and sooner than later, his love.

When you had asked him if he was alright and checked up on him once the villain was apprehended, he could barely manage to verbally reply to you. Pathetically nodding his head ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to whatever you asked of him. It was only then he finally felt comfortable in aligning himself with his destined path to become a hero. Your courageous attitude and kind nature was more natural than anything.

The years he spent in school he studied you along with his regular material. Tamaki would watch you closely and miss no chance to see you in person. When he'd hear anyone bad mouthing you they would no longer exist, the idea of someone so lost and in denial couldn't and shouldn't be breathing the same air as you.

He'd lament the days and nights where it'd be rumored of you having your relationships, hell, you even had a partner when you saved him that fateful evening. But none of that stopped him from getting rid of them, just like he had done with the people who spoke ill of you. You only needed him in your life; anyone who could step between that was a threat he was more than willing to get rid of. Besides, it added as extra training to his schedule anyways.

When he had finally integrated himself into your agency is when it felt like he was officially reaching somewhere with you. The moment you two made eye contact and you remembered his face only meant one thing: you two were meant to be. He didn't care if you didn't remember his name. He didn't care if he had to get rid of the people who were trying to stand between you two. He didn't care even if he had to play the long game. Tamaki could wait, but this was the sure sign that you were finally meant to be his.

So he courted you. Made sure both of your schedules aligned, kept his eye on you and made sure to place himself in your life like he should have done many moons ago. He'd get you small things, finish your sentences and even saved you from a few close calls regarding management and the public eye. It was only a matter of time he asked you out and you said yes.

The first few dates you two had were the best ones you had ever been on, at least that's what you told him. Unbeknownst to you, Tamaki had been saving his money since the first day he laid his eyes on you, specifically gathering his resources just for this moment. He even monitored you on the countless of dates you've been on just to make sure when he got his rightful chance to be with you, he would get it right the first time.

The first date he had to take it slow. The way you dressed up so nice just for him, treated him kindly and smelled so, so, so good had Tamaki obsessed with you (not like he wasn't already before). It was hard to control himself with the slutty outfit you chose to wear, though. Tamaki vividly forged the memory of how your bottoms fit snug around the right places and how your top gave a peak of what hid underneath. Wasn't anything he hadn't seen but he had wished he could have been able to see a closer look that night.

He had picked you up from your penthouse and taken you to a fancy dinner on a terrace, separated from everyone else. The way your eyes lit up and how your hand absentmindedly gripped his forearm in masked excitement was an unforgettable moment. How you leaned into his ear to keep your voice at a formal volume, later gripping his hand and squeezing it in your mildly sweaty palms. Immediately his third leg twitched to life, more than it already had been, from feeling you innocently place your hands on him. Tamaki would've done everything in his power to kiss you right then and there but he had to hold himself back.

The second date was more relaxed, taking you to an exhibition though it was still formal nonetheless. Most memorable were the pictures you insisted you guys took together, offhandedly remarking how much you wanted to visit an art museum as it had been so long since you had last seen one. He had known that of course, often eavesdropping on your conversations with friends about it. That same night when he dropped you off home and walked you to your door, your face was as bright as ever and you two never broke eye contact. He was practically itching to lean in and kiss you until you took the initiative upon yourself. He was so taken aback that he completely froze up, unable to believe that he's finally been able to feel your lips on his.

You had laughed when you pulled away, telling him you'd see him again on Monday and left him awestruck in infatuation.

In complete embarrassment, he had sent you flowers as a good morning gift along with your favorite sweets to thank you for going out with him. Needless to say, you certainly didn't hate your evening out as you were the first to ask when he'd be available soon after. You had invited him out to an arcade you've been wanting to try and figured he'd be the best candidate for the venture.

Which brings you to your third date, with you in the back seat of his car; hand wrapped around his cock as your tongue teased at his sensitive tip while your other hand fondled his swollen balls. He hadn't planned for it to pan out like this but he certainly wasn't complaining.

All his hard work was worth the outcome. With the heavy tints on his windows, having the lights on as his car sat in the almost desolate parking lot wasn't as nerve-wracking as it could've been. Not that he would mind the risk of someone else seeing you like this, he merely cared about the fact you would create a fuss if you were caught. He tried not to get jealous and butter thinking about it, but his eyes did narrow in mild discontent at not being first. The way that your mouth took in his length expertly showed the many instances of experience you've had. Before he only had the chance to peek through a window or maybe a closet door, and that most certainly didn't beat having the real thing for himself. It took everything in him not to cum just from the first contact you had with him tonight.

Just as his thoughts slow to a stand still, you bobbed your head faster, hand still deft in busying itself with his cock and balls that couldn't fit in your mouth. You moaned at the taste of his creamy pre-cum hitting the back of the throat, fighting the urge to gag on his impressive length. It wasn't until he started bucking his hips into your mouth that you had to grip his hips to sturdy yourself, except he took that as a sign to carry on.

Your muffled whimpers and the erotic sounds of him now throat fucking you filled the car. His large hands had found solace in the beautiful mane of your hair, pushing and pulling to just to get the right pace going. You were evidently struggling to keep up but he has no problem teaching you how. But for now, it wasn't important. The moment you two made eye contact all he could think about how alluring you looked in the dim lights as your submissive eyes looked up at him for guidance.

“C-Cum…!” Tamaki’s face flushed even darker as he failed to express what he meant and tilted his head back against the awkward juncture of the window and his backseat.

A gurgle from you follows his warning, face fully pressed into his pelvis and stuffed into his tuft. Admittedly you were dripping under your clothes from this encounter alone, now getting a proper whiff of his musk sending you into a state that was unbearable.

You greedily bobbed your head to coax him to fruition, more than happy to take it in. You softly hum as you suck him of all he's worth and slowly pull away once you are finished. A string of saliva connects your bruised lips to his wet length, your tongue darting out to lick your lips with a teasing smile to follow. You lightly tap his thigh for him to look at you, and reach up to cup his jaw in a gentle grasp as you invited him,

“We’re not too far from my house, let's get you all cleaned up.”

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #tamaki x reader #amajiki tamaki x reader #yandere!tamaki au #yta au #bnha imagines #mha imagnes #n/sfw #sav's sinning

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lilys0evil0twin · 24 days

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Part 2 of RoR characters reacting to their darling meeting their old crush.

Oh absolutely, I've been itching to make more yanderes in my series... Or well

Some guys don't really need it...

Beelzebub

You're surely NOT smiling so widely while talking to someone that NOT him

He doesn't know what you are doing, but he doesn't like it

At all

He's sure to stand right behind you, leaning on his walking stick and we'll over your form towards the individual

Studying even the smallest details, the smallest imperfections on their face, skin, clothing, whatever excuse to feel justified for his disgust

He also voices them, just random input to the conversation that doesn't even concern him

"Your eyes are slightly uneven", "I don't like your style", "Your hair looks unhealthy"

"I don't know why my s/o even likes you"

The encounter left a bitter taste in your mouth, his as well, liking someone so imperfect even if it was in the past

You'll be the death of him once, surely... Maybe, that's not so bad after all

Loki

Loki was... Confused is probably a good word

He doesn't understand why you got so bubbly all of the sudden, he hasn't said any joke has he?

Oh you ran off

And he after you naturally, only to see you jump around someone

So, obviously, he had to go join in on the fun

He introduced, making sure to state your relationship loud and clear, then proceeded to question the individual

Treating each and every answer as a competition and he simply had to win

Everything was followed with a snarky response, downcast or a mockery

All to make this what's-their-name worthless, and himself to stand in better light in your eyes

Was he jealous? Yes

Was it obvious? Yes

Were you uncomfortable? Yes, along with the other individual of course

The encounter had to end with you pulling Loki away, thank whatever god you'd like that he was floating, making it easier for you

Hades

Hades simply does not care

He doesn't know who you're talking to and he doesn't want to

Your expressions and lovely words mean nothing, sure he's a little hurt they're not directed to him but... As long as you're happy he suppose

But the longer the talk lasts, the more uncomfortable he gets

He's never felt something quite like this, it's like he's about to vomit

No doesn't like this feeling at all

Good thing you're all sitting, at least he can pull you to his lap

He'd never admit he's jealous and will deny it as if his life depended on it if you ever asked

He'll let you be and finish your talk, just holding you as if you wanted to leave

Surely you'd never want to, and if you did he'll just feed you one of his pomegranates and everything will be as lovely as before

#shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok #ror beelzebub #snv beelzebub #beelzebub x reader #yandere beelzebub #ror loki #snv loki #loki x reader #yandere loki #ror hades #snv hades #hades x reader #yandere hades #yandere #x reader

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blossoms-phan · 1 month

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Hi! I am a X escapee relatively recent Dan & Phil returnee who loves your posts, you seem so reasonable. I have just been given what felt like a 90 min presentation detailing how my innocent assumption that Dan and Phil were anything other than platonic housemates was incorrect and offensive.

The lecture i was given included every reference that highlighted, amongst other things: their "obvious" separate bedrooms, bathrooms, towels, angles of items shown in bedrooms, closets, mentions of wanting to go out and meet other men, lack of real concern (X words, not mine) at each others medical emergencies and every use of bro and friend that they have said post hiatus. It was very detailed, they were very insistent and I was very apologetic. I decided to flee the X hostility and head back to tumblr, but here everyone appears to think they are together. So now I am confused and don't want to offend a whole new group of people.

I think what set the X people off was i said "partner" as I was under the, I now know, incorrect impression that they went public years ago. Oops. Don't trust the internet is what I have learned from this. I thought all this drama would have died out long ago, but I assume this is a topic to stay far away from still? Thanks

hi anon! first of all, thank you for saying that (still can’t believe I’ve garnered enough attention on here that people specifically like my posts!), I really appreciate it. second of all imma be so real with you I am a person that still primarily refers to “X” as twitter bc I refuse to get with the times so this greatly confused me until I realized there was only one possible platform with those kind of people you could be talking about. i’m sorry you endured that exhausting sounding lecture and welcome you to phannie tumblr with open arms 🫶

i am here to gently reassure you that you can take what dnp say and do and show and form your own opinions about it, don’t let anyone tell you you’re right or wrong for drawing conclusions or making assumptions. however I will also be so bold and tell you why that individual is so blatantly wrong and maybe clear some of your confusion.

first of all, i think dnp would refer to themselves as anything but "platonic housemates." it all comes back to this but i dare someone to look me in the eyes and be so fr when saying that just because they've never stated in words "we're dating/boyfriends/partners etc" the simple fact that they share a mortgage on a "forever home" together, (according to them) spend literally all their time together, are partners in work/life/play (vacations), share families (dan being uncle to phil's niece) implies anything other than them being life partners. i'd also like to draw attention back to possibly the most blatantly open statement either of them has made about the nature of their relationship, in dan's video titled "basically i'm gay" where he describes them as "actual soulmates" and more. there are lots of people who have been discussing/answering posts about the concept of a "hard launch" recently which i could direct you to and i am of the mind that there's nothing wrong with conceptualizing the idea of a hard launch or them being more open to sharing details of their romantic relationship to an extent, but BIG is the most profound public statement of the nature of their relationship and, in my humble opinion, "the" hard launch as dan QUITE LITERALLY says "more than just romantic" and goes on to say he and phil are private people and that that's all he will say of it for now (keep in mind it's been 5 years since this statement- still relevant but minds can change, specifically theirs in terms of what they feel more comfortable and open sharing in a post-comeback world)

now moving on to the "references" you mentioned. again, highlighting literally any of this as "proof" that they are just friends or whatever is utterly ridiculous but i'll still go through it for funsies. i'd like to challenge this person that claims they have "obvious" seperate bedrooms by saying... what is so obvious about it?? dnp are highly aware that whatever they share with us will be analyzed or viewed under a microscope, so obviously they've carefully chosen which parts of the phouse to show us and they're not going to be like oh yeah this is OUR bedroom where we sleep TOGETHER every night. now i'm aware that yes, the "black" bedroom with dan's closet is more obviously a dan room that has been claimed as "his" bedroom. can't find it to link rn but they have posted a photo of the shelf of that room and while it is mostly dan stuff on the shelves, there was also a photo of phil's family and some of phil's books and items on the shelves. storage? sure, but if someone wants to claim that makes it so obviously dan's room then i can say that having phil's stuff in there could also point to them sharing the space. the room that phil films amazingphil videos in has been called a guest room/bed by them both, and in terms of rooms we've seen that just leaves the green room. imho everything points towards this being another guest room/possibly a room for family specifically to stay when they come- iirc nothing has been said to claim this as phil's room other than the fact that there is a painting by his dad and he occasionally films in there. i'm not going to pretend to know the ins and outs of their sleeping arrangements, but i think for two adults that own a huge house together and spend a lot of time together and have a lot of their own things it's perfectly reasonable to have "separate" bedrooms, multiple bathrooms/their own towels (?? i don't get this one i assume they're referring to the part of the golden pig video but like. obviously they have their own towels wtf lmao) and utter those things more on camera and then sleep together/share spaces in their own time.

once again, dan and phil know what they're doing. they are in control of what they show and share. calling each other "bro" and "friend" is an intentional choice and very much second nature at this point after doing it on camera for years. also it's not wrong or implies that they aren't romantic- i am of the opinion that they are friends first and they know that too. however, in a post-hiatus/comeback world, it almost feels pointed at this point. like a joke. a wink wink, nudge nudge, look-to-camera "we know you know" thing that they're keeping going just because they can.

in terms of the "going out and meeting other men" bit i assume they refer to jokes made by dan in the wad era? again, i'm not going to dive deep into this but dan is a comedian and post-coming out, wad and those other shows were the first time in his life he was able to be openly, unapologetically gay and himself and i think he was allowed to make a few grindr jokes for the fun of it. if dan values privacy in terms of his personal life, i highly doubt he would go around telling everyone he was hooking up with dudes- these are jokes plain and simple. but if you're interested @freckliedan has a wonderful post about dnp and the concept of monogamy/them sleeping with other people that i don't entirely disagree with and that is worded much better than i ever could so. i'd also like to talk to this person bc in what fucking world have they EVER shown a "lack of concern" at each others medical emergencies????? this is possibly the most baffling claim out of all of these to me. dan could not have made it more clear how scared/worried/traumatized he was by phil literally almost dying recently, and there have been more instances than i can count of him just being there for phil during all of his more recent health issues/scares. if this is referring to the eye incident, again i'm not going to pretend i know all the ins and outs of their relationship bc i don't- we know what they tell us. literally everything about this they said in a joking way, i don't know why people got their panties in a bunch- phil sending dan alone doesn't mean he doesn't care about him or anything, i honestly don't think he wouldn't have been much help going and i think they both kind of knew this, they were just playing it up to be a funny anecdote because they're entertainers. it's what they do. they've been making stories out of their lives for 15 years.

this is getting far too long and rambley as i don't know how to rein in my yapping when responding to asks but. i promise you're fine. discussing their relationship isn't "drama" or some forbidden thing, it happens on here a lot actually. except you will find most people on here use critical thinking and what dan and phil knowingly share with us, as adults with brains, to draw conclusions about their relationship based on everything from the way they look at each other to the little ways they tell us they care about and love each other bc they do. and that's not something they shy from now. come join us! don't let people tell you you're wrong for thinking they're partners bc in the nicest way possible, they literally are (if you want to sugarcoat it and say life partners instead of romantic go ahead bc they've literally described themselves as companions through life which is a more poetic way of saying partners imo) and respectfully anyone who thinks otherwise is in denial at this point

#dnp #dan and phil #phan #asks #phan asks #answered #anon #my thots #blossoms.rambles #sorry this is so long and i genuinely don't know if my tone is a little hostile #i just don't understand people still claiming stuff like this lmao #i love getting and answering asks but i feel like i can never gather my thoughts concisely like others on here #with practice mayhaps #pls enable me to do something with my decade long hyperfixation and dnp brainspace in the form of yapping

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wreckingtickles · 9 months

Text

Todoroki & Mx Glove

In which questions go unanswered.

The Auction Masterlist

Words: 5,162

Todoroki quirked an eyebrow.

Moments ago, he was restrained in some kind of contraption in nothing but his underwear, panting, sweaty, and exhausted; then, he blinked, and now he was clean and well-rested, seated on a cushioned chair in a posh bedroom. A soft pair of dressy black trousers clad his bottom half while the top was sheathed in a white shirt, open to reveal the sharp curves of his toned chest and well-defined abs. His calves rested on the pillow of an identical iron-wrought chair facing his own while his feet protruded through the back, tied together at the ankles by several pairs if smart ties. Each of his toes was individually secured to the convenient vegetal tangle that made up the back of the iron chair, and his big toes were even tied together and to the central stem of the iron decoration, which, together with the ties around his ankles, ensured that his feet wouldn’t be able to so much as twitch, let alone escape or even lessen what was about to befall them.

Though he couldn’t see them, Todoroki guessed that ties were also what bound his wrists together behind his back, through the back of the chair he was sitting on, and around its own central stem. What he couldn’t begin to divine was what that new set-up was for.

Something shifted in the dim light of the room, provided by a single desk lamp, and Todoroki realized that the flowing black fabric he’d initially mistaken for closed curtains were actually the garb of a massive shadow, three meters tall and hunched, impossibly swollen under the vest. A deathly hood obscured the shadow’s features, but Todoroki could feel its gaze on him.

“Aren’t you scared?” growled a beastly low voice.

“What would be the point?” asked Todoroki, his tone flat.

“Good. There is nothing to fear,” growled the colossus, and a hint of delight crept into his voice. “If you give me the combination to that safe.”

“What safe?” enquired Todoroki, his intonation barely more inquisitive than before.

The shadow emitted a rumbling chuckle and turned slightly. The wall opposite Todoroki lit up to reveal a large painting whose frame had swiveled on hidden hinges, baring a large wall safe.

“I don’t know the combination. I don’t know what’s in that safe or where I am,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Another low rumble. “Is this how it’s going to be?”

Todoroki just glowered at the behemoth. “I’m not going to play along with this charade.”

Being tickled senseless was one thing, but he felt offended that that entity, whatever its name was, so much as thought that he would indulge its nonsense. “Just get it over with.”

The rumble stopped. “Then you leave me no choice.”

The figure stooped down at an angle that made it evident it didn’t possess normal human physiology, if its height and bulk hadn’t already made it clear enough. From the vast darkness behind the parting in its garment emerged a beastly hand, brown-furred and large enough to clasp Todoroki’s chest, vicious claws at the end of each finger.

Todoroki had been certain of what was about to happen, but seeing the ponderous claw, he almost flinched. Had he angered the beast, and was he about to be torn apart?

But then he felt one of those stilettos press into the ball of his right foot before beginning its descent towards his heel.

Todoroki had a very fraught history with physical contact, the kind that is born from years of sustained abuse. Despite being one of the most promising and attractive heroes on the market, he’d never been comfortable with the idea of a relationship, much less casual flings, as much as he wished he could be. That state of affairs persisted even after he’d begun to undo the damage his father had caused. But in school, he’d always been wary of physical contact, such that even when he outright asked Kirishima to try to tickle him out of curiosity, which somehow opened the floodgates to the whole class, everyone knew not to sneak up on him or touch him without telegraphing their intentions. And he’d learned two things: one, tickling didn’t generally trigger any of his alarms with regards to unwanted physical contact, precisely because it was so different from anything he’d experienced growing up (save for a couple of occasions with Natsuo, who just loved to tease the golden boy); two, everyone tended to remark that he was very sensitive. And while he didn’t have much of a frame of reference, Todoroki had to agree.

So he didn’t even attempt to disguise how much that single claw affected him, a smile already forming on his lips as he jumped in place.

The claw stopped. “Already? Just from this?”

Todoroki could feel the gloating in its rumbling voice. “You really have no chill.”

The discrepancy between how it sounded and what it said was whiplash-inducing, but Todoroki didn’t have the chance to ruminate on it as the claw began to make scratching motions.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” came out of Todoroki rhythmically, a string of exclamations somewhere on the spectrum between sounding obscene and like he was doing aerobics.

The claw scratched at the ball of his foot, his heel, his arch, the base of the toes – it didn’t matter, Todoroki would react wherever it touched him. But Mx Glove wasn’t satisfied, so began to test the base of and the area between each toe individually.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! N-Ah! Ah! Oh! Noh! Ah!”

The area between his second and third toe, was it a little more sensitive than the rest? The probing claw couldn’t quite tell, so it took its sweet time making sure. Yes, maybe there was a slight extra twitch whenever it touched there… no?

What was certain was that the arch was a bit more responsive than any other part of Todoroki’s right foot, but it was a very small deviation, one that would make returning to that spot extremely gratifying without making Mx Glove feel like it was settling if it targeted other areas.

And that was just the right foot! The right one was supposed to be even more sensitive, and possibly more ticklish in different spots than the left. That asymmetry was part of what had drawn Mx Glove to this victim, though it had actually gotten overwhelmed by the possibilities, so it had decided to stick to the one spot that it preferred, that it knew Todoroki would be able to take the least.

It could see that a flush had already crept across his face. Mx Glove retracted his finger. “Are you sure you don’t want to open the safe?”

Todoroki rearranged his expression into a scowl. “I said I’m not going to plaAHAhahah hahaha hahahaahahaha!!! Hahahaahah ahahahah ahahahahah ahahahhahahahhaha!!!”

He burst into guffaws mid-sentence as the behemoth suddenly added four more claws to the interrogation.

“Staaahahahhahahahahap! Hahahaha ahhaahh ahahahaahah ahahahaahahahahahah!!”

“You have no chill,” quipped Mx Glove as it dragged its claws up and down Todoroki’s right arch. As it expected, that made Todoroki’s laughter just a bit higher-pitched, his shifting in the chair just that little more energetic, so the claws chose to linger on that spot for a while. “Is this supposed to be the less sensitive foot? You are so screwed.”

Just when the focused tickling began to yield diminishing results, the claws ventured upwards, scratching at the base of Todoroki’s toes. There were now enough claws that Mx Glove didn’t have to worry about whether the space between two toes was more sensitive than the others, as the question was made irrelevant by sheer numbers.

Todoroki went on laughing, unashamed of the natural reaction his body was having to the stimulus, though profoundly vexed by it and, most of all, that it was being used to force him to indulge whatever fantasy his captor had cooked up.

Still, he’d never been tickled that long before. It wasn’t as when he was ganged up on by his classmates, or that time Bakugo had tried to make him regret observing out loud that he didn’t expect the blond to be so ticklish (a remark for which Kirishima would also pay), but the fact that it wasn’t stopping had him mildly apprehensive. How much longer could that go on for? Apparently, tickling tired him out very quickly, and he didn’t want to reach that point again, though he suspected he wasn’t going to have a say in the matter.

He could already feel the surface of his skin become damp under the smart clothes when Mx Glove retracted its claws. Todoroki went on giggling as his right foot still suffered under the phantom tingles, the claw trails itching like a zealous ant procession.

“Are you going to keep being stubborn?” questioned Mx Glove.

Todoroki ignored him, choosing to maintain his focus on steadying his breathing. That cost him four claws scratching at his left foot, coaxing a yelp out of him.

“Answer me!” boomed the voice; the claws showed no sign of stopping.

There were actually two more things that Todoroki had learned when tickling was introduced in his life: discovery the third, it was apparently unusual that the left and right side of his body were ticklish in different spots; discovery the fourth, his feet were the least exceptional in that regard, because they were both extremely sensitive… though the left even more than the right. At least, that was what Midoriya had told him – that guy even had notes about that – and Todoroki had indeed noticed that he’d fight harder to keep his hot side away from the tickles; but once the tickling started, he was generally too sensitive to have much of an opinion on anything.

But these weren’t chaotic, friendly tickles: these were sharp claws working precisely to uncover every ticklish nerve under his skin and play it like a string. Todoroki couldn’t tell if it tickled more or less than before, but he most certainly wanted it to stop, and he found himself trying to hold back his laughter… failing miserably.

“HAAAAAA! HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHA HAHAAAAA!! Haha hahaahah HAAHAHAH haahah hahaah HAHAHA ahahah haahahahah hahaahahah!!”

The scratches soon stopped being a warning and morphed into a dedicated process of destruction. They began to look for and focus on the worst areas of his right foot, then proceeded to exploit them to their fullest, moving on to the next just before Todoroki could begin to get used to the sensation.

Tears began to roll down Todoroki’s face when Mx Glove targeted his arch – no doubt as to what spot was the most sensitive now – but wherever the claws decided to give more than a torturous pass, they got him wishing he could crawl out of his skin.

“Still not going to say anything?” growled the behemoth over the hero’s high-pitched laughter. And maybe Todoroki would have said something, if he hadn’t been so focused on surviving the onslaught with his sanity intact. Mx Glove didn’t accept that excuse.

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HAHA HAHA AHAHA AHAHAHA HAHA!!!!

HAHAHA HAHA HAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHA HA AHAHAH AHAHA!!! HAHA! HAHAHAH!!!”

His left foot still under fire, Mx Glove sent its other set of claws to wail on the right as well, obliterating Todoroki’s capacity for cognizant speech. It tickled so bad. Was it even worse than the hairbrushes? Like he was able to make a comparison as exhilarating lightning traveled up his legs.

Mx Glove truly wasn’t holding back, his claws relentless, precise, excruciating. Like it was really attempting to wring vital information out of Todoroki using whatever means necessary.

Todoroki couldn’t remember so much in all of his life combined. It just kept coming, and he was powerless to stop it, or do anything but laugh and laugh. A flush had crept up his chest and overtaken his tear-stained face, hair flopping about wildly and sticking to his forehead, getting in his eyes, his crisp shirt darkening with perspiration, maddened writhing in the metal chairs without either so much as budging, or his artfully restrained feet escaping a single iota of torment.

Well after Todoroki was thoroughly broken, he noticed the claws – all of them – linger on his right foot, and at some point he became aware that Mx Glove was speaking.

“I seem to recall one of these feet is more ticklish than the other. I find it hard to believe, honestly, but I’m interested in your opinion.”

“HAAAAAAHAH AHAHAHAH AHHAH!! HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHHAHA!!! HAHAH AHAHAHAH HAHAHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!”

“No reply, ay?”

The ten claws shifted over to his left foot, and Todoroki let out an addled scream. He bent forward as far as his wrist restraints allowed, farther than was wise, to put something, anything, his head, possible or not, between the torturous points – too many! – and the outrageously sensitive surface of his sole.

Before he’d placidly accepted the notion that his left foot was more ticklish than his right, like a datum that had nothing to do with him. If that was how it was, that was how it was. But now that he was on the other side of empirical experience, he would have given anything to expunge that fact from reality.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! HAHAAHAHAAHHAH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHHAHA!!! HAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHPPP!! STAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHPPP!!!”

“Oh good, so you can talk! Got an answer for me, gigglebug?”

The claws moved back to his right foot, but even though the sensation decreased somewhat, Todoroki wouldn’t have called it a relief. In that small gap, he only retrieved a shard of his impatience with nonsense.

“HAAA!! HAHAHA HAAA HAHAHAHAAH HAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHA YOUHAHAH!! YOU KNOHOHOHHAHAHAAH!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“I want to hear it from you, gigglebug,” replied the behemoth, and if Todorok had been able to discern tone, he would have noticed all affectation had been stripped from its words.

But Todoroki just went on laughing and attempting the occasional broken warning or plea, so mx Glove said, “Nope, I can’t tell,” and focused on his left foot again, lavishing his arch and the base of his toes with special attention.

Todoroki’s eyes bulged. “LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHFT!! LEHEHEHEHEFT LEHEHEHEF LEHEHEFTLEFTLEHEHEHEHEEFTLEEEFT!!!” he repeated with every scratch.

A thunderous chuckle, then “Left, you say? I’m not sure, I need to test this further.” And it kept going.

Unable to take it, Todoroki’s efforts latched onto the only thing he thought could put a stop to it, sputtering “LEHEHFT!” like a broken record come alive under ten needles.

This soon earned him a coughing fit, followed by bouts of silent laughter, during which Mx Glove said, “I can’t quite tell. But if you’re right, it sure would suck if I stayed here, right?”

On some level, Todoroki had expected a break after he’d played its game. But no. It kept going. And when his struggling subsided and the only sound he could make was an irregular wheeze, Mx Glove simply moved half of its claws to his right foot, and kept doing exactly what it was doing.

It only stopped when it noticed that Todoroki was struggling to keep his head up. “Oops, I got too carried away, again,” it said to no one, and the claws withdrew into the pools of darkness that were its sleeves. “So, the combination?” it asked, but Todoroki was in no state to so much as decipher its question. It brought out a claw and ran it down the hero’s foot as a warning, but when all it got was a dismayed shake of the head, it resigned itself to wait.

Todoroki didn’t even realize the tickling had stopped at first, since it took him an enormous effort to lift his head. He felt like he just run a marathon – certainly, his soles wouldn’t feel any less raw after one. He just breathed in and out, wishing he could just shed the shirt that was clinging to his shoulders, or use his Quirk to cool himself down.

When he looked up, the behemoth was still there, its hands hidden under the sleeves, and behind it, the safe. What was new was the two upturned bottles tied to the chair, drizzling a weird liquid down on his feet.

“Do you need more persuasion?” asked Mx Glove in a low growl.

“I don’t… know the… combination,” came out of Todoroki, and he couldn’t recognize his own voice, so hoarse it was. But beyond that, was he speaking factually – he did not know because the monster made it all up – or was he playing along with the fiction just to put off the incoming extra serving of torment?

Mx Glove tutted, a sound like the smack of wet clothes on a flat stone. “A pity.”

Todoroki expected to shudder with fear once the behemoth’s hands reemerged, but what he saw was much too weird for that. At the end of each of the behemoth’s sleeves protruded a sock puppet in the shape of a goat’s head. Their square button eyes scanned the room, their moths opened and closed, and they both sniffed the air far too realistically to be simple puppets.

“What are those?” Todoroki couldn’t help asking.

“Hungry little buggers,” replied the behemoth as the goats inched closer. Todoroki could feel the air move as they sniffed his coated soles. Then, one of them took a lick.

“AH?!” exclaimed Todoroki, completely unprepared for what that felt like. That felt way too organic, in a very disturbing way, warm, slimy, fleshy, and worst of all, ticklish.

The goat puppet seemed to like what it tasted, because a second lick followed, and a third, lapping away at the ball of Todoroki’s right foot; and seeing its neighbor go at it, the other goat took an interest in the left arch.

“N-Noho w-whaat ishis thihihIHHHS!! I doho-hoHOHOH! CU-HUT THAHAhahat ouhohoHHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! HAHAHA HAHAHAAHHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHA!!!”

That felt weird, so weird! The writhing, knitted muscle sent horrifying shocks through his nervous system, the wet appendages having a rough texture that made each lick all the more torturous.

“These kids always get everyone real talkative,” gloated the behemoth. “Get it? Kids?”

“HAHAHAH HAHAA! HA! HAH AHA STAH! HAHAHA! HA! HAHAHAHIT’S SOHOHO WHEHEHEHEHIRD!! HAHA HAHAH HAHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!”

“You get it, you’re laughing!”

Whatever hesitation the goats may have had at first, it was long gone as they lapped enthusiastically at the saltwater-covered soles, driving Todoroki further and further into hysteria.

All Todoroki could do was laugh and watch drops slowly drip out of the bottles, emptying oh-so-slowly, until his eyes filled with tears once again.

The claws had felt worst on his arches, and his mad thrashing and high-pitched guffaws certainly suggested the goat’s tongues were proving effectively as well; but it was when his soles had been lapped clean and he felt the first tentative licks slither between his toes that the true horror of his plight sank in.

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HHAHAHANANNANAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! HAHA HAHAHAAH NOHOT THEHEHHEHEEHERE!!!! HAHAH HAHAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

The base of his toes, the stems, the pristine skin in-between; what agony the goat’s treat fetched. If Todoroki has a shred of analytical ability left in him, he would have noticed that his right toes now felt as ticklish as the left, if not more so. It was dubitable that he’d have been able to attribute that fact to the warmth the tongues exuded had he been lucid, but feeling the dull teeth nibble at and scrape against his toes and the ball of his foot as the wriggling tongues attempted to reach every last pocket of salt, that shattered his mind. He wasn’t used to those spots being touched, let alone by something like that, and with such torturous intent.

Todoroki would have never thought that he’d manage to last until all the saltwater had been painstakingly licked off every nook and cranny in his toes; but at some point the goat puppets did back off, vanishing back into the behemoth’s robe.

“The combination.”

Todoroki ignored him, any breath he could suck back into his lungs was too precious. And then he heard meowing. He forced himself to open his eyes: the beastly hands were out of the sleeves again, but instead of sharp claws, each finger now ended in… a cat’s head. Probably not that unsettling in a Quirky world, or to Steven Universe viewers, but the 10 sets of feline eyes fixated on him were still mildly unnerving to Todoroki, because the threat was obvious.

“The combination.”

“I don’t… know!” spat Todoroki, a distinct note of irritation creeping into his voice – less so at what he’d already endured, or even the performance that was asked of him, but rather at the fact that he wasn’t allowed to recover. Then he added, “It’s your safe!”

“Too bad,” growled the voice. “Here come the seconds!”

To his horror, Todoroki saw the two upturned bottles still above over his feet spontaneously fill with white liquid, which began to drip down on his toes.

“Wait!” came the panicked request. “I don’t know the combination, and tickling me won’t help you get it. I can’t help you break it open if you won’t. But I can’t take anymore.”

It was a plea, unquestionably, but it was expressed so emotionlessly after the first exclamation that it sounded more like a statement of fact from a neutral party: he could not take any more tickling, and subjecting him to it would be a waste of time within the parameters of the behemoth’s fiction.

For a few moments, the only sounds that could be heard were the soft splashing of the milk droplets on the tops of his feet and the floor, as well as the famished meowing of the finger-kittens.

“Waitwhahit ihit’s poHOHINTLEHEHESSS!!! STAHAHAHAHAP NOHOHOH I CAHAHAHANT HAHA HA AHAHA AHAHA AHAHHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!”

The 10 kittens were even more eager than the goats, their raspy tongues smaller than their predecessors’, but sheer numbers allowed Mx Glove to target more spots at the same time, though they never strayed far from his toes and arches.

Todoroki’s handsome laughter was marred by utter rejection of what was happening, the contradiction between even more absurd tickling and his inability to withstand it even a second longer. And yet he did, for many, many, many seconds.

There was nothing he could do to stop this. Nothing.

---

Hero training had been grueling at times, yet Todoroki couldn’t remember being as tired as when, several minutes after the two bottles had been emptied, the kittens finally disappeared into the behemoth’s sleeves again, their meowing ceasing at once.

Something else was dripping on his right foot, a clear liquid of sorts, but Todoroki could not concern himself with it. In fact, when the behemoth shuffled behind him, cut his left arm loose, raised it, and bent it over the back of the chair before tying it down again, he didn’t even put up a fight. He even let Mx Glove rip his drenched shirt open to reveal his chiseled physique upper body with nary a grunt of protest – his mind, reduced to sheer sensation, welcomed the exposure to the colder air.

He didn’t even have a reaction when the behemoth produced a small heat lamp it trained on Todoroki’s right foot, glistening with the dripping oil that the unpleasant – though not painful – warmth ensured would seep deep into his skin, awakening any micron of his nerve endings dulled by his cold Quirk.

Then the monster waited. It waited until Todoroki was able to make sense of sentences again, its impatience having turned into the sweet pre-savoring of what was about to transpire.

When Todoroki looked at it again, he noticed that its right paw had been replaced with a long-fingered, humanoid hand, and the left with a device that looked like a pastry whip that had come undone – a scalp-massager.

“I want you to understand this,” began the behemoth. “I’m now going to try something else, and I won’t stop until you give me the combination. If you lie to me, I promise you, you haven’t felt anything half so horrible as what I will do. Do you get it?”

Todoroki didn’t answer. There was no point. The monster was going to do what it wanted anyway. Why waste energy? Or so he would have normally thought, but he simply lacked the energy to muster any words.

But when he felt fingers wiggling into his exposed left armpit, Todoroki had no choice but to strain his burning diaphragm to expel a new bout of laughter. Not a trace of cognizant speech, though.

The monster watched him try to lean away from its prying fingers, seemingly unable to comprehend that his bonds would not allow it. It was a rather enjoyable sight. But not as enjoyable as the attempt at a choked scream that ripped its way out of Todoroki’s mouth when the scalp massager got to work on his bare right flank.

And as the two most sensitive spots on Todoroki’s upper body were ruthlessly targeted, fragments of his mind made a simple calculation.

He couldn’t take it. Not at all, not anymore. He could make up a combination just to get a short break. But then it would get worse. But he wouldn’t get a break otherwise. What should he do?

The fingertips kept scratching at his damp hollow, occasionally pressing into the skin and skating on it as if dragging coins on a table, having quickly surmised that the very center was the most ticklish part. The scalp massager was far less varied in its tactics, but its dozen tines dragged like feathers along the cold, sensitive skin were incredibly effective at making Todoroki ponder whether the goats’ tongues were less excruciating.

And the calculation went on in the background, and…

“HAHAH HAHAHAAAAAA!!! HAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! TWHAHAHAHAH!!! TWOHOHOHAHAHAHAH!!! TWOOHOHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH!!!”

“Two?” Todoroki heard coming from above. “Giving up already? Good, what’s next?”

Todoroki had calculated this: he didn’t have to give Mx Glove the full combination yet, he could just start giving him a few digits, so when he really couldn’t take any more, he’d only have to get one number out; but as the first digit tumbled out of his lips, more exploded out of the crack in his will.

“SEHEHHAHAHAH!! SEHEHEHHEHEEVEHEHEHHEHEHNN!! LEHEHHEET ME TAHAHAHHAHAALK!!”

“It’s on you if you can’t speak. Two, seven. Three more to go.”

But Todoroki found it incredibly hard to even remember what digits existed as Mx Glove surreptitiously increased its tickling, which caused the other three digits to take a full minute to be revealed. Perhaps Mx Glove could have made it take even longer, plunge Todoroki into silent laughter to keep the brief respite it had offered out of reach, but the behemoth was overeager; because as fun as these games were, they were nothing like unleashing the single, most effective method to break an auctionee.

Todoroki was suddenly aware that he could breathe again, that the dreaded massagers had left his midsection and that the unsettling fingers were no longer tormenting his underarm. He could even feel the monster’s thunderous steps move away from him, and towards the safe.

Todoroki wasted precious energy trying to whip his damp hair out of his eyes. He wanted to see this. Because even though he’d made the combination up to appease the monster, a part of him hoped against probability that he’d somehow got it right, that he’d be left alone, that the worst would not come to pass.

And Mx Glove was certainly making a show of it. Its long fingers were turning the dial so slowly, the clicking sound drowned out by Todoroki’s labored breaths.

“…One… and six,” announced the glowering behemoth, pausing for a moment after the dial ended its last rotation before clasping the safe’s handle; and though Todoroki’s lungs desperately needed oxygen, his breath hitched for a second.

Mx Glove pushed down on the handle… but it didn’t turn.

“Liar, liar…” lilted the behemoth, sounding the opposite of disappointed, while Todoroki shook his head weakly. “You know what’s coming now…”

It walked back towards Todoroki, who accepted the inevitable. “You… made it all… up…” he stated, a final acknowledgement that he’d humored the behemoth as long as he’d had to, but that now that it wouldn’t help him anymore, he didn’t care to keep pretending in the off chance it would make his situation better.

Mx Glvoe simply chuckled, its hands vanishing into its sleeves for the last time. When it reemerged, the left hand had been replaced by a detailing brush, while the right was furry again, but instead of claws, mounted at the tip of each finger was an opaque, white cube…

The monster stopped in front of Todoroki’s trapped feet, and the hero noticed that moment that the heat lamp cooking his right foot in the lotion was still on only when Mx Glove turned it off and moved it back.

“Did you figure it out? What will break you?”

But Todoroki wasn’t going to humor it any longer.

The behemoth went on, undeterred. “Come on. The tongues were a hint.”

Todoroki just kept focusing on steadying his breath.

A note of impatience crept into Mx Glove’s voice as it said, “It’s temperature. Warm things tickle your right foot more. Cold things tickle your left foot more. So if we were to, say, roast your cold foot, and use ice cubes on the hot one…”

Todoroki’s breath caught in his throat.

“…what do you think will happen?” it asked, and it knew that Todoroki wouldn’t reply, so it didn’t wait before striking.

The lotion made it even easier for the claws to glide along Todoroki’s sole, its nerve endings firing on all cylinders from the heat lamp’s attention. The temperature shock for his left foot was even more severe, jolting the nerves awake, the warmth of the skin rapidly causing the edges of the cubes to melt, allowing them to drag frictionlessly along his arch.

It took all of 5 seconds to break Todoroki for good. That one-two punch was like nothing he had ever experienced, not even at the hands of the behemoth. His cognition shut down. He was no longer Todoroki, just a mass of stimuli and reactions, specifically the intersection of two extremely ticklish appendages being tickled extremely. No hope, despair, anger, or bargaining: just overwhelming sensation, the most exhilarating state f flow.

The behemoth worked both feet over for several minutes, adding to nearly an hour, but Todoroki had lost the ability to measure the passing time. It knew full well that the right foot’s toes were even worse than the arch, while the left arch was more sensitive than any other part of that foot, so it only ever strayed from those areas to keep them from being desensitized.

No, lapsing into silent laughter or wheezing did not afford him any mercy. He was just there to laugh, to pay for not spitting out a non-existent combination, to be the perfect, squirming canvas for Mx Glove to practice its art, to be driven mad by its touches. A mighty hero with ticklish tootsies.

#mha tickle #bnha tickle #tickle content #tickle fic #tickletorture #ticklish!todoroki #lee!todoroki

114 notes · View notes

torialefay · 2 months

Text

☀️ Everyday Idol 🌙 (Chapter 14)

✨ possible bangchan x reader (f), possible jungkook x reader (f)

✨ head on over to my masterlist if you haven’t checked out the previous chapters!

✨wc: ~ 13k

✨ friends to lovers? possible love triangle? obsession? angst and future smut??? a little fluff.

✨ summary: JYP Entertainment launches a new show and y/n somehow gets recruited. Even though she doesn’t particularly care about the outcome of the show, she does particularly care about one of the artists she met: Chris from Stray Kids. Does Chris feel the same or will a potential relationship with one of his friends overcome what y/n feels for him?

✨ warnings: cursing from time to time, smut!!!! 🔞

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Previous Chapter Recap:

On instinct, Chan leaned in to grab his hand and tap his back. It was then when he realized just how sticky his hands were.

He pulled back, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry dude, I don’t know what I got all over myself at lunch.”

He watched in horror as Young K looked down at his hand and then down toward Chan’s feet and the floor behind him, both covered with white fluid. His cheeks went instantly red, and he knew it.

“Yeah,” Young K responded, a bit awkwardly as he made a concerned face. “No big deal,” he walked past Chan and to another stall.

‘God fucking damnit.’

—————————————————————————————

Note: Character relations you can refer back to if needed.

Y/n- Changbin’s mentee

Anna- best friend, Felix’s mentee

Kara- Seungmin’s mentee

Sunnie- Han’s mentee

Mindi- Hyunjin’s mentee

Nisha- Lee Know’s mentee

Alyssa- Jeongin’s mentee

Jenna- Chan’s mentee

—————————————————————————————

Friday, 5 PM

Y/N’s POV:

Another week had come and gone. It was a whirlwind to say the least. It felt like all of the puzzle pieces were finally falling into place.

Your week spent with Jungkook had been more magical than you could have ever imagined. Every date with him had you giggling like you were back in middle school, kicking your feet at the end of each night when you got home. Even if it was too early to say it, you *felt loved. He had a natural way of doing that. The chemistry between the two of you was so organic, it felt like he could truly melt all of your troubles away. Any little thing you struggled with, it was like he knew exactly what to say. He knew exactly what to do. Almost as if he were made you. Almost as if he was perfect... and almost as if he'd rehearsed it.

Your group had continued to work well together- no more outbursts from Jenna. She seemed to have moved on and now had her sight set on one of the male trainees… As if anyone was surprised. But hey, whatever kept her occupied and out of your hair, you took as a win.

As the main dancer, you’d stayed busy making sure that the choreography was perfect, and so far, you hadn’t had much trouble out of anyone… ‘Yet,’ you thought, not wanting to get ahead of yourself. But otherwise, vocal lessons had been great, raps were flowing more naturally, and everyone’s talents really got to be displayed. You could tell that the SKZ members were impressed today, watching the finalized practice for one of your songs.

“You guys are gonna do really well,” Chan said softly after watching all of you.

“You think so?” Anna flashed the biggest smile, clapping her hands together excitedly. All of the girls began to chatter enthusiastically as you put on a big smile as well.

Even though you were grateful for their words, you were more concerned about what JYP had to say. JYP had come in soon after, ready to evaluate you once your mentors had given you advice. Again, you were nervous- how could you not be? But also, again, the nerves melted right off as you began the performance. And you confirmed that it was for good reason as JYP sung your praises. He said that each of you were very much individually talented, but as a group, he saw a great connection. He complemented Anna as well for being able to organize the group and make sure that everything was being taken care of. Of course, he added in some very minor critiques, but overall, it was very successful. Claps from across the room soothed your mind that you could do this.

---

Friday, 9 PM

And with the team's high spirits wanting to continue on, you’d ended up with the 5 of your friends settled down on the floor of your’s and Anna’s hotel room. “Truth or Dare” had started only 30 minutes ago and you’d already had enough laughs for the rest of the week.

Mindi admitted that her first crush had been on the Powerpuff Girls’ dad.

Anna had to give Nisha (who was, by far, the quietest member in the friend group) a lap dance… and trust me when I say that she put on a show.

Nisha, however, got her revenge by being dared to send an Instagram message to anyone of her choice off of their phone. And of course that meant messaging Felix from Anna’s account about the “explosive diarrhea that she was having.”

Kara confessed that if she had to pick a crush out of the kids, she would pick Seungmin, her own mentor… You knew from that moment on that no one would let her live that down.

Sunnie had been dared to stand outside in the hallway and give out the loudest “wolf howl” she could for 5 seconds. As soon as she ran back inside the door, she almost tripped over her own feet from cry-laughing.

And the question you’d gotten… well you knew that you’d get it eventually.

“Okay, so, the question issss-“ Kara dragged out. “What is the farthest you’ve gone with your mansss?” She teased as she tried to get a blush out of you. And it worked. You still hadn’t told everyone that you were official. Well, “official” official. You were pretty sure that signing an NDA applied to them too. So maybe you could just… leave out that part? They already probably weren’t supposed to know that you were seeing him at all.

You cleared your throat before proceeding. “Welll, we haven’t slept together, so sorry to disappoint on that,” you laughed. “I mean, we really haven’t done much. I sat on his lap while we made out. And we’ve had a few steamy sessions here and there. But nothing crazy…” your voiced trailed off, waiting for a response. You were met with big, bugging eyes, like they were waiting for a response too.

“How long have you been seeing him?” Mindi asked innocently.

You had to think for a moment. “I think two, three weeks? A month? Maybe?”

“Well then you’re getting there,” she smirked. “Only if you want to, of course!” she quickly added.

“If I do, you guys will be the first to know,” you lied, adding a smile to your face. Anna’s eyes looked at you knowingly. She’d be the only one that statement would apply to, and you both knew it.

Soon after, the game moved on and revealed a lot of secrets that you’d probably otherwise never have known about your friends.

You looked at your phone with a smile before addressing the group. “Alright, who wants snacks?”

You guessed the dumb look on your face gave it away. “Oooo is your boy toy offering to get you something?” Sunnie asked with a devious little grin.

“Well, he’s offering to get US something,” you smiled. By “us”, you really meant Anna and yourself. You were the only ones who’d signed an NDA, and as far as you knew, he wasn’t aware that anyone else knew... Not that he'd been careful enough out in public for you for people to piece together who you were. Regardless, you hadn’t told him that you were with the rest of the girls tonight, so you figured he just didn’t realize.

So how could you ask him for enough food to feed 6 girls when he thought there was only two?

Let’s be honest, he would have bought anything you asked. No question. But still, you wanted to be careful.

“That is so sweet,” Kara gushed, clinging her hands to her chest dramatically. “What do you guys want?”

You tried to pipe up before anyone else could. “How about some pizzas? I’ve really been craving it.” Normally, you wouldn’t be the type to interject, but you needed to this time.

“Sounds good to me!” Sunnie smiled, gesturing her hands out as if she didn’t mind one way or the other.

“Perf!” Kara added.

Relieved that your little plan had worked, you messaged Jungkook back with your order and to thank him for everything. 30 seconds later, a call came through the line, with the name “Kookie” splaying across your screen.

You quickly stood from your position and walked over to the bathroom so you’d have a private place to take the call. In case you had to lie a little bit, you didn’t want the girls to hear.

“Hello?” you answered the phone as soon as you were out of ear shot, closing the door behind you.

“Hey baby,” you could tell he was grinning through the phone. That beautiful little bunny grin.

“What are you up to? Other than being basically the best boyfriend ever and sending me food,” you joked.

“I’m not really getting into much tonight. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want to hang out? I know from your texts that you were worn out, so I didn’t want to push anything, but I figured I’d still ask.”

Your heart melted a little. “No, you’re right. I’m pretty exhausted. If it’s okay, I think I’ll stay in tonight. But I’d love to see you tomorrow?” you asked before you heard loud yells coming from the girls in the other room. You guessed that someone was trying to chicken out of a really bad dare.

“Yeah, that’s perfect, but… Is everything okay? I thought I heard a loud noise?” Jungkook pried.

“Oh yeah…” you said, trying to think on your feet. “I think it’s our neighbors next door. They’ve been going at it all night,” you pretended.

“It sounds like a cage match back there,” Jungkook laughed. “Do you want me to call and talk to someone about it?” he offered.

“Oh! No, that’s okay! If it gets too bad, I’ll just knock on their door. No big deal.”

“If you say so,” his voice carried up. “But anyways, back to tomorrow. How about I pick you up around 6? I’d like to take you somewhere special.”

“Somewhere speciallll?” You questioned him naughtily. “And where would that be?”

“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll really love it,” he said.

“Is there anything special I should wear or do? You’ve got to at least give me that as a hint.”

“Don’t worry about it baby, just get ready like you normally do. I’ll take care of it.”

You couldn’t help but get nervous. Excited, but a little nervous. What could he possibly have in store that you hadn’t heard already? You smiled anyway.

“Alright, I’ll trust you this time,” you teased before taking a long pause. “I do really miss you though.”

You waited in anticipation for Jungkook to respond.

“You know I really miss you too. I miss you every day I’m not with you,” he admitted. “And just this past week… It’s really been one of the best weeks of my life.” He paused. “I know that sounds dramatic, and maybe hearing that feels too soon, but it feels nice to have someone who fully accepts me as a person and for someone to see me for my good. And I know that with time, I’ll be able to open up more about the not-so-good parts, but I know already how beautiful your heart is. And no matter how scary all of this is, you will always understand me. You make me feel like the best man in the world.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting out of this call, but not that. Jesus. For a moment, you didn’t even know how to respond. Jungkook picked up on your hesitancy.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I said too much too quickly,” he started back. “I just wanted you to know how I feel. If you don’t know about things yet, then that’s okay. But that’s how you make me feel, and I wanted you to know that it means a lot to me. You don’t even understand.”

You let out a breath, prepared now with what was on your mind. “I’m so happy I can be that for you. And I will always try to understand you. The good parts and the bad parts. There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”

Although you couldn’t see his face, you knew that your short words were making him emotional. As much as you never would have believed it, he actually did have a strong emotional side. And that was one of the reasons why you loved him.

Wait- LOVED? Okay, not love, not love. It’s not to that point yet, is it? No, it’s way too soon for that. It was an emotional reaction. You felt loved, and you had love for him, but that didn’t necessarily mean you were IN LOVE with him… At least that’s what you told yourself.

“There’s no one else I’d rather be with either. I’m so lucky with you… But I’ll let you get back to your girl’s night, okay? You rest up so I can see that pretty face tomorrow,” he almost giggled.

“I will. Goodnight sweetheart.”

“Goodnight babe.”

—————————————————

Saturday, 10 AM

Chan’s POV:

This weekend, Chan was on a mission. One to forget about you. Or, at least, to stop thinking about you.

It was ridiculous. He’d always understood that. But to think he had no self-control… well he just couldn’t accept that anymore. He would distract himself every day. Every single day. As long as it took for him to get over you. Until he could look at you and feel nothing.

Considering he’d drunkenly admitted to Changbin last week that he was in love with you, he knew this probably wouldn’t be easy.

‘One more week. One more week until Everyday Idol is over,’ he thought.

He yawned as he rolled over in bed, thankful to have yet another weekend off… However, he wasn’t so sure that it would be the most beneficial for him to have so much free time on his hands… Free time for his mind to begin to wander. So, he planned out his day accordingly.

First, he’d talk with STAY, see what they wanted to do tomorrow during Channie’s room. He’d hit up the gym, might as well. Hopefully Changbin would be- No, Changbin would definitely be there. Grab some lunch, get a shower, and then? Whatever, he thought he would just figure that part out later. Maybe Young K’s offer still stands… ‘Doubt it.’

Chan hopped on Bubble quickly to see what STAYs were up to. As he read through the thousands of messages, he couldn’t help but giggle. He decided to tease them a little. Sending a message saying “Date tomorrow?” instead of Channie’s room would make everyone go insane.

And he was right. Not even two minutes later and everyone was freaking out. Chan couldn’t help it. He loved this feeling… at his core, no matter how awkward he could be, he could also be a flirt. And a damn good one.

He figured he’d see just how much he could toy with STAYs.

He laughed as he read the comments:

Wear a tux for us Channie!!!

pls don’t wear anything 😩

You’re a cutie anyway. Whatever you want to wear is fine.

Matching hoodies?

i don’t care, just excited for a date with my babyyyyy

It always did give him a bit of a confidence boost.

After toying with STAY for a few more minutes, he messaged Changbin to see if he’d want to go to the gym. As he waited, he switched over to TikTok. Seeing funny edits always gave him a smile. He scrolled along, watching funny compilation videos and reactions to their music that people had posted. His heart felt so full every time someone complimented their music.

He switched down to the next video, which had been bits and pieces edited together of an interview they had done a few weeks ago. Chan remembers it so vividly because he’d had a huge headache all morning and he hadn’t been able to pinpoint why… it had contrasted so much with the night he’d had prior. The night he’d first hung out with you.

And here he was again, thinking about your presence. ‘Quit,’ he warned himself before shaking it off and scrolling down to the next video. He was relieved when Changbin replied that he’d already gotten to the gym, but to come on before he got too far into it.

Chan cheerily raised up from the bed and into the bathroom, quickly getting himself ready. It was never hard for him. A black tee with hoodie over top and black shorts. Black beanie, black socks, black shoes. Simple enough.

He quickly grabbed a water and a protein drink from the fridge, making sure to chug the protein down before arriving to the gym that he used.

As he walked along the street, clad in sunglasses as well, he noted what a particularly beautiful day it was. The sun was out, and it finally wasn’t as cold as it had been the week prior. As he took in his surroundings, he saw a couple of girls walk next to him who seemed to be around his age. He acknowledged that they were attractive. And this, this he could run with.

He looked out of the corner of his eye as one of the girls flipped her hair around her shoulder. Her hair was long and shiny. It fell effortlessly beautifully, the front bits layered perfectly to highlight her face.

The other girl was pretty as well. Long legs that couldn’t be missed. Pretty lips in a shade that he had to admit intrigued him.

He tried to settle his mind in on them, but as they continued to walk, Chan had met his destination. He watched in solitude as they passed by, silently thanking them for helping him remember that he could act normally, just like any other guy.

Today would be the day that things started to change.

---

After a hard set at the bench press, Chan was breathing deeply, trying to catch his breath that he felt like had left him 5 minutes ago.

“Need a break?” Changbin chuckled.

Chan rolled his eyes. “I’d like to see you do it better.”

“Challenge accepted,” Changbin smirked.

Chan quickly took back his words. He knew that Changbin would, most definitely, without a doubt, ‘do it better.’

“Nevermind! You win,” Chan said, playfully pushing him away. “10 minute break?”

“Yeah, see you back in a bit,” Changbin said, leaving to retrieve his belongings which had been placed on the opposite side of the room.

Chan grabbed the water that was seated next to him before reaching for his phone as well. He didn’t have any notifications, nor anyone particularly to text, so he settled back on the Bubble app, seeing what STAY was saying now.

He was meet with a lot more suggestive innuendos and jokes, which he’d gotten used to by now. Of course the sweet messages as well. He cracked a smile reading a few of them.

Without thinking, he reached his phone back to snap a quick selfie. Well, maybe two or three… or five before he got one he was satisfied with. He knew STAY would want to see him at the gym. And what could he say? He was a man of the people.

He wondered for a moment after posting if the two girls on the street may have had his Bubble. Maybe they had been STAYs. If they were, they didn’t say anything about it, but to be honest, he was thankful when he was seen as a normal person. He wondered what they’d think about the photo. If they’d realize that they’d been walking next to him earlier in the day. He wondered if the one girl would flip her hair over again, pining after what she saw.

He also wondered if maybe you had his Bubble. If maybe you were thinking about the photo too. He’d made sure to get his arms in there. Maybe you’d liked it? Maybe you’d- No, No. Not this again.

‘Focus on the other girls Chan. Or, I don’t know, anything else.’

He stood as he held tight to his water bottle, getting up to walk around. Maybe check on Changbin. Maybe take a picture with him before it was time to leave.

He would try anything to get you off his mind.

And he did. And lucky for him, it stayed that way.

——————————————————————

Saturday, 5:30 PM

Y/n’s POV:

You smoothed down some unruly flyaways as you did a once-over in the mirror.

“You’re sure you don’t want me to come home early tonight?” you yelled to Anna from your spot in the bathroom. A few sprays of perfume and you were feeling confident.

“No, please don’t. I want you to enjoy your exciting date night with your boyfriendddd,” Anna teased as you walked into the shared bedroom.

There were some last-minute preparations that Anna needed to do for the final week of the show. Being the leader meant you were definitely busier than the other members of the group.

“I promise I don’t mind. Plus, I feel bad leaving you to fend for yourself,” you frowned.

“I’ll knock this out in no time. I’d rather you go out and have fun, then come back to tell me every little detail. That sounds way more fun,” she grinned.

You shook your head with a smile. “Alright, but text me later if you change your mind… I’m just a little stressed that I have no clue where we’re going. Not that I mind, it’s just… I don’t know, I’d like to be dressed appropriately at least. But he literally won’t budge.”

“What you have on now is great,” Anna said, letting her head move down to examine your attire. “I’m sure he would have told you if he was going to do something crazy.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you said, beginning to plop down onto the bed. Your ass no sooner grazed the bedding when you heard a knock at the door.

You crossed your brows, automatically going to stand back up. “Jungkook’s early,” you said in a questioning tone.

“Have fun and be careful. Text me later please so I know when to expect you back, missy,” Anna said playfully as you began your move across the room.

Gathering your things, you set them on the table in front of the door before bending over to collect your shoes and slip them on.

Suddenly, another hard knock on the door.

“Here, hold on,” you got out. One shoe on with the other in hand, you swung the door open for Jungkook.

Except, well, it wasn’t Jungkook.

Expecting the silhouette of your broad, dark-headed boyfriend, you were surprised to see an older man standing in front of you, tall and lanky with a sideways smile.

“Hello,” the man flashed you a grin. “Miss Y/last/n?”

“Yes, this is she,” you responded, trying to sound chipper.

“Ahh, it’s nice to meet you,” he said, reaching his stiff hand out toward you.

Instinctively, you reached to meet his hand for a shake. “Nice to meet you too,” you said, trying to come across as pleasant when you were so utterly confused.

The man must have recognized the look on your face as he pressed on. “My name is Park Ha-Joon. You weren’t expecting me, were you?” he chuckled.

“Uhmm no, sorry,” you gave a shy smile back, not knowing why you’d just apologized.

“I should’ve expected it from Jungkook,” he shook his head. “I’m one of the stylists for his company. I came to drop off a few clothing items he requested.” He moved to the side slightly so that you could see the cart behind him stacked with boxes and hangers full of clothes that were hidden by their garment bags.

“Oh wow,” you said, a bit taken aback. “Thank you so much!” You honestly had no idea how to react.

“Yes, of course miss,” he said pleasantly as he began to grab the boxes and carry them inside. “Will the bed be fine to rest these on?”

“Of course!” you said, following behind him. “Please excuse the mess.”

“Oh, no worries,” he smiled. Entering the bedroom space, he smiled as his eyes met Anna. “You must be Miss Anna.” He lowered the boxes onto the adjacent bed. “Very nice to meet you as well,” he said, turning to extend a hand to her.

“Thank you, nice to meet you,” he nodded her head politely as she grabbed his hand in reciprocation.

The man didn’t speak much, just traveled back and forth between the cart in the hallway and the bedroom, carrying bag after bag and box after box.

Once he was done, you thanked him immensely… although you had no clue what was inside.

“Please feel free to wear whatever you’d like. We had someone get your measurements from JYP’s styling department, so hopefully everything will be fitted nicely,” he said warmly. “Miss Anna,” he turned his head, “Jungkook has insisted for you to keep some items as well if you’d like. I’ve included some pieces that I think are timeless.” He turned his head back and forth to look between the two of you. “I hope you both will find it to be satisfactory. Anything you do not wish to keep, please let the front desk know by the morning, and they will collect it for me to pick up.”

“Wow,” was all you could originally come up with. “Thank you. Really, thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he gave you both a single nod. “You ladies have a wonderful night,” he said, reaching his hand out again to each of you, attesting to his goodbye.

“Thank you so much. You too,” Anna offered, smiling widely as her eyes were completely lit up.

“Thank you. Have a good night,” you said happily as you walked with the man back to the door, offering one final wave.

As you turned, Anna was standing, looking down at all of the covered treasure. “Oh my god-“ her voice raised up an octave, smile on her mouth in disbelief. “You better marry this man. If not for your sake, then for mine.”

———

Saturday, 7:15 PM

You rolled your eyes as Jungkook pushed the dessert plate your way. Even if you told him you didn’t want the last bite, he always made sure that you ate it. It’d become a sort of tradition between the two of you.

Taking your spoon to scoop up the last bite of the small tiramisu, you had to admit that it was one of the best things you’d ever eaten… And for the price, it had better be.

You knew that you’d be going somewhere fancy by the clothing options Jungkook had sent to you, but you could never entertain the level that you were now at. The interior was dimly lit with the most ornate chandeliers you’d ever seen, arches running up and down several of the walls. The floors were entirely marble, and the classically-trained pianist playing from a few yards away was impressive enough to rival an entire symphony.

As if you needed any further confirmation, when the pasta came out, it had been plated perfectly, adorned in garnishes that you’d never thought to pair. The small portion sizes only added to the pretense- although you couldn’t complain. This was all an overwhelming level of grandeur that you didn’t know if you’d ever get accustomed to.

But somehow, Jungkook made it seem so normal. So easy. If you’d have come in here alone, you probably wouldn’t have known what to do with yourself. Acting high-class wasn’t something you would ever imagine yourself doing, but in a place like this, you’d almost have been crazy not to… But in spite of it all, Jungkook was so unapologetically himself. He made you feel calm in an environment where you’d thought you’d feel totally disconnected from yourself. He just always knew… exactly what you needed.

You giggled as you finished the last of your wine, your head feeling lighter. You couldn’t help but to adore the way Junkook’s face shown in the warm lighting.

“Y/n, there’s actual something I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” he said, his face becoming serious.

“Oh yeah, of course. What’s going on?” you asked, trying to ground yourself in light of the conversation.

“I know we’ve already talked about you having to go home for a while, and… well I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, but I was wondering how you’d feel about possibly staying another week?” he asked sheepishly. “I know you have things to do for school and with friends, but… I just-,” his eyes looked off, trying to collect how he wanted to proceed. “I just know I’m going to really miss having you here with me. I haven’t been taking it for granted.”

A loving smile spread across your face. You contemplated, weighing back and forth in your head. “I would love to,” you said, wishing that that was the end of it. “But I just don’t think it’s a possibility for me right now. Especially with- well you know I’m not exactly financially stable right now with school. Especially if Anna leaves, I just don’t think I’ll be able to afford another week. And I really do have things I should be catching up on.”

“Sweetheart,” Jungkook said, taking your hands and looking at you almost in disbelief. “Do you really think I’d let you pay for another week?” He let out a slight chuckle. “You will never have to worry about money when you’re with me, okay? If money is the main issue, then that’s solved. You can stay with me… Or if you don’t feel comfortable with that yet, then let me at least get you a nice suite to stay in? If… if you want to, that is,” he smiled softly, taking a breath as he realized he was getting ahead of himself.

You wished you could say that you thought longer or harder about it, but the truth is that he made everything sound too easy- too perfect. And in actuality, maybe it was. “I meannnn-“ you smiled playfully, acting smug. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to put you out too badly,” you said with a squeeze, making sure to get him with your eyes shining innocently.

“I think I’ll manage,” he winked jokingly. “Plus, if you did want to stay with me, you technically wouldn’t be putting me out at all.” He grinned from ear to ear, happy with his plan.

Your head suddenly began to float again. “Take me home with you tonight, and I’ll make my decision then,” you challenged him.

———

Your clothes had been torn off, thrown somewhere unknown. You couldn’t see much from Jungkook’s shaggy hair falling onto your face, but god could you feel everything. It was as if every sense had been heightened. The way that Jungkook ran his hands up and down your bare body, outlining every curve. The way he grabbed at you, pressing harsh marks onto you that you so craved. As he kissed up and down your neck, your body reacted instinctively, beginning to buck your hips up into him to get any ounce of pressure, skin on skin daring to make your head spin. You felt your core begin to absolutely ache.

Jungkook chuckled lightly at the action, pulling his lips from you momentarily. “I was going to ask if you were sure, but I’m taking that as a yes?” he whispered, smiling lowly.

“Please,” you breathed out, not letting your hips slow. You had fully recovered your mind now and needed this more than you’d ever thought possible.

“How could I say no?” Jungkook asked delicately, planting a small, tender kiss to your forehead, then your nose.

You smiled as Jungkook pushed his upper body higher with his arms before trailing one hand down to where his cock was resting just over you. As he stroked himself a couple of times, he admired the feeling of the wetness already covering him from your movements. He let out a deep breath, almost as if he were trying to steady himself- tether himself to the ground and not fly away in the fantasy of it all.

You felt yourself instantly tense up as Jungkook slowly pushed himself inside of you. It had been too long, far too long, since you’d had anything like this. It was almost an entirely foreign sensation. But he went slowly. He was savoring it. He was making sure you felt comfortable. And as each inch went in, you started to relax more and more, feeling the stretch in the best possible way. You let out a deep sigh at the feeling of Jungkook bottoming out, his own sharp breath giving him away.

“You’re so fucking tight, baby,” Jungkook murmured into your hair. He slowly worked his way out again before repeating his same actions, letting himself sink in deeper until there was nothing left.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s arms found their way to wrap around your head, encasing you in an almost sort of hug. As he secured you in, he picked up the pace of his hips, letting them roll into you steadily now. You heard him begin to let out low grunts as he went, starting to feel more confident in his movement.

“Play with yourself, baby,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. And you had to admit, as good as he felt, you needed more stimulation than this.

You let your hand snake down your body, bringing it finally to your core where you were already getting overstimulated. You closed your eyes, pressing your face harder into Jungkook as you trailed your hand up and down your cunt. Slowly, you moved to your clit, which was throbbing underneath your touch. You gasped as you began to rub small circles, the sensation mixing with Jungkook’s thrusts becoming too much.

“That’s it baby, just like that. Keep going. We’ve both got to make sure you feel good,” he said, placing a lingering kiss to your cheek before snuggling his face back into you.

You picked up the pace as Jungkook’s hips snapped into you more quickly. Breathy moans continued to escape your lips as you heard Jungkook growl into your ear. Even if it was your first time with him, you knew he was close.

The tingling in your core was quickly becoming too much as you ravaged at your clit, working yourself up now to your high. You couldn’t stop the light screams you let out as you felt yourself let go and convulse around Jungkook’s dick. His deep moans fell into your ears at the feeling of you clenching so hard around him. Your mind was numb. No thoughts other than focusing on the feeling that you quickly had to remove your hand from. It was all too much.

“Oh fuck,” he cried out. “Fuck fuck fuck, too good,” he moaned lowly. A couple more quick thrusts and he was panting.

“Oh fuck I’m cumming,” Jungkook yelled, quickly pulling himself out of you while untangling his arms from underneath you. As he leaned his body back, his hands flew automatically to his cock, pumping furiously as cum began to shoot out onto your stomach. Curses flew out of his mouth as his brows furrowed, look of release evident on his face.

Content that he was done, Jungkook remained on his knees above you for a moment, taking a few deep breaths before a smile spread over his face. He gave a little giggle, looking down at you now suddenly shy for him. “That was even better than I could have imagined,” he laughed. He leaned down slowly to plant another soft kiss to your cheek. “Let me get you cleaned up.”

—————————————————————

Wednesday, 5:00 PM

Y/n’s POV:

You watched in horror at the scene unfolding in front of you. Another group that had formed for Everyday Idol was performing their dress rehearsal on the stage in front of you. For some reason, the company thought it would be a good idea for all 4 groups to sit in and watch each other, along with the staff. But with the messy choreography, pitchy vocals, and failed stunt you’d just seen, you wished you could just go home and not be subject to any of this.

Your group had already performed and everything went off without a hitch, thankfully. Jenna was still a bit pitchy, but had improved significantly- which was both a blessing and a curse. While good news for the team, it also meant that the other groups were now eyeing each of you up and down, seeing you as a threat that they needed to conquer. But it wasn’t your fault that your team had… talent? With the competition only two days away, everything should have been perfect by now. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been practicing for weeks.

You looked down from your seat as the team received feedback on their performance. Even if you weren’t entirely prone to second-hand embarrassment, this was too much. Thankful that you hadn’t received the same harsh words, you’d still wanted all of the groups to perform well.

Once each of the groups had performed and everyone was dismissed, Anna stood to address the group. “Girls,” she began, looking at each of them. “I think we’ve all done really well today, and I’m so pleased with how everyone did. If you want to go home, then you can, but we are going to start bright and early at 7 o’clock tomorrow morning. Y/n and I will be here tonight for anyone who wants to stay and practice. Sound good?” she stated more than asked. Nods flowed in from the seated row of girls.

“Don’t you think 7 is a bit early?” Jenna asked, voice full of gumption.

Anna, although annoyed, looked down at her with a smile. “Hmm, if you stay tonight til around 2 practicing your lines, then maybe 7 is a bit early. Your call,” Anna challenged.

Jenna just stared up at her, apparent embarrassment on her face. She had nothing to say.

“Alright, well if that’s everything, like I said, I’ll be upstairs for whoever else would like to go. I’ll see the rest of you in the practice room at 7,” Anna nodded.

One by one the girls stood, collecting their belongings before heading out. Within a couple of minutes, it was only you and Anna remaining, with Kara, Sunnie, Mindi, and Nisha promising to be back after a short break to grab food.

As the two of you stood together, you both smirked at each other with raised eyebrows before letting out a small laugh.

“Jenna is on one,” you laughed. “You handled that way better than I would’ve,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief.

Anna took a deep breath in and out. “All I can say is if she doesn’t do well on Friday, I tried my best.”

——————————————————————

Thursday, 3 PM

Y/n’s POV:

High stress mode had kicked in since the early hours. Anna was about to rip her hair out when not only did Jenna not come in to practice last night, but she also didn’t arrive until 8:30 this morning, putting the entire group behind. This prompted an entire argument, resulting in Anna threatening to talk with someone about kicking Jenna out of the group for not taking this seriously.

“You’ve come this fucking far and now you want to mess it up… For everyone?” Anna had yelled at her. Much nicer words than you could have conjured up.

Since the incident, everyone had been high strung all day. Small mistakes were happening here and there- mistakes that hadn’t been made for over a week. And although you knew you could pull through, it was stressing you out to no end. You’d had about all you could take. And now, at what was supposed to be your final all-out dance practice with your mentors, it was no exception.

Watching the girls with such low energy drained you. As you all congregated in different areas, taking a water break, you sighed to Anna. “I swear you are the only thing getting me through this day.”

“Trust me, I feel the same way,” she let out a tired, deep breath, looking over at Jenna. She pulled her head around her neck, trying to work out any little bit of stress that she could. As her head came back to center, she continued. “But I’m not the onlyyy thing,” she grinned, poking at you. “Are you gonna see Jungkook tonight?”

“No, not tonight,” you rolled your eyes. “There’s too much going on. I think I’ll puke if I have to add anything else to my list. I can barely handle all this stress.”

Anna tilted her head to the side with a devilish smile. “Oh really? From the way you talked about the other night, I’m sure Jungkook knows how to take care of some of that stress.”

“Anna!” you exclaimed, mouth dropping open to make sure she was being quiet enough for no one to overhear her.

Standing only a few feet away, you saw a hunched-over Chan who’d been leaning over onto the mirrored wall next to him, his back turned to you. While you were almost certain he hadn’t heard the conversation, you still wanted to keep it low. Whatever was going on with Chan, he seemed like he’d completely forgotten about you. You didn’t want to bring in any mention of his friend and have him remember that he for some reason despised you.

You quickly turned back to your friend. “Not here,” you whispered.

Anna just chuckled, giving you another big smirk before bringing her water bottle to her mouth.

—————————————————————

Thursday, 7 PM

Y/n’s POV:

You were panting heavily as you finished yet another full-out practice of your performance tomorrow. The sweat running down your forehead was a testament to how hard you’d been going for hours now. And you were sure it had paid off. You were finally confident in your team’s performance. It felt like everyone was, at long last, in higher spirits with everything coming together- last minute nerves being settled as everything fell into place. Well… for all except one.

Chan had taken it upon himself to critique quite literally every single element of the performance for the past several hours. Originally, you had told yourself that it was simply because he was a perfectionist. He knew how harsh JYP and the other judges could be, and he didn’t want your group to suffer the same fate. However, this grace could only be given during the first couple of hours of his rampage. Now… now he was just being ridiculous.

Chan’s voice revved up as you all remained in your final pose, waiting for your mentors’ feedback. “Start from the top. Go again,” he demanded, face looking stern.

The members around him glared at him, confused, but almost too stunned to speak. This was the fifth time he’d done this. The other members had no feedback other than saying you were farrrrr past ready and would do well tomorrow.

What was with him?

You and your members tried your best to catch your breath as you walked back to your starting formation, deep sighs erupting from the girls as Chan continued with his charades.

His voice was raised now. “Mindi, you’ve got to get into position quicker. And y/n, how many times do I have to tell you that you’ve got to go harder? If you don’t, you’re going to have to scrap this and start over.”

“Start over?” you burst out in disbelief, almost letting a sarcastic laugh accompany it.

Something in Chan definitely did not like the tone in your voice. He took a step closer, standing his ground. “You heard me.”

“We can’t just start over.” You were astonished. "The performance is literally tomorrow!"

"Well maybe if you weren't out every night and were actually in here practicing, we wouldn't be having this problem," he spat.

Your jaw dropped. you were here just as much, if not more, than any of the other girls.… The only difference was that when you were off, you spent your time with Jungkook… and now you guessed that Chan knew that. You didn't know what to do, but starting a scene definitely wasn't the right thing. You let your head drop down past your shoulders, letting out an exasperated sigh, though you knew you couldn’t let this be the thing that got to you. Almost quicker than before, you snapped back up, ready to begin again after taking a big breath.

Minho finally interjected, moving himself so that he stood next to Chan. "What is your problem? I couldn’t perform it any better. She's been working so hard with me to make everything perfect. Just calm down."

“Come on Min, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Chan turned to face him. “If that’s the best that you could perform, maybe you need to go practice too, uh?” Chan questioned, look of disgust on his face.

Minho squinted his eyes, almost as if searching his face to find something. Whatever it was, he couldn’t locate it. “Just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean you should take it out on them.”

“I’m not having a bad day,” Chan retorted, his voice the tiniest bit shaky. “I just want what’s best for them. If they can’t handle that, then they can go join someone else’s group.”

“It’s not your group,” Changbin spoke up, stepping up in front of Minho and almost in Chan’s face now. His look was stern, eyebrows knit together. “This is their group, which is doing way better than we were at our debut.” Changbin crossed his arms.

“That’s a pretty wild statement,” Chan snickered, looking toward his shoulder.

“Seriously?” Changbin asked, face a mixture of anger and disappointment.

Chan didn’t back down from his stare, challenging him to continue on. But he did.

“You need to go cool off because you’re really making yourself look like an ass right now.”

“Ahh, okay,” Chan sneered. “Sorry if people can’t take criticism. And if that makes me an ass, then that makes me an ass,” he said sarcastically, throwing his hands out to the side before turning to walk toward the door. “Good luck tomorrow,” he said loudly as he passed by everyone toward the exit.

Once the door closed, the rest of you in the room looked around in disbelief for a few moments. No one knew what words to say.

“I guess he’s sensitive today,” Changbin finally said in a quietened tone.

The girls of the group just shook their heads, blinking their eyes wide and letting out breaths that had obviously been held in during the “scolding that was not a scolding.”

“How about,” Minho started, “we run through- full out- a few more times, and then we call it a day? Sound good?” He looked toward your members.

Still not able to come up with the right words, you nodded in unison, thankful to have the awkward situation over with.

Though you were thankful for Minho’s handling of the situation, beneath your skin, you could still feel your blood boiling. Just more confirmation that Jungkook had been right about him all along. How could you have been so blind to that before? It was as if he’d fooled you into thinking he was someone else, and that’s what hurt the most. To actually form a bond with someone, only to see their true colors. Your face was heated as you settled into position. As badly as you wanted to, you just couldn’t let this go.

All you wanted was to get out of here and call your boyfriend.

——————

Thursday, 8:30 PM

Y/n’s POV:

After consulting Anna briefly, you tried your best to calm yourself before knocking on Chan’s studio door. As badly as you wanted to confront him and resolve whatever was going on with him, you told yourself that if he wasn’t there, that was your sign to leave it alone.

After waiting a few seconds, you knocked again, just to be sure. Again, crickets. Crossing your arms over your chest, you realized that no one was coming to answer the door. You let out a small huff, getting your answer as to what you should do.

But as you headily spun on your heels to walk away, you heard the door creak open behind you.

Snapping your head around to look past it, you could see Chan peaking his head out, looking around before spotting you. “Hey,” he said mildly, as if this was the last thing he wanted to be doing.

“Hey,” you turned back around just as quickly as you had before. You tried to keep your voice as calm as possible. “Can I talk to you?”

Chan poked his cheek with his tongue, breaking eye contact with you to look left and right down the hall, scoping out the scene to see if anyone was around. After looking off for a bit, he let out a slight sigh. “Sure,” he responded, mirroring your emotionless voice as he opened the door wider for you to come in.

As you entered the room, it was colder than before. Colder than you’d remembered. But then again, it’d been quite some time since you’d last set foot in here. Everything was truly the same… except for the missing bouquet of flowers that had been on the desk last. The same bouquet of flowers that subsequently were in Jenna’s hands during that first day of filming. The image of them sitting on the table, still and lifeless, yet drawing attention nonetheless, plagued your memory.

Had it really been that long since you’d been here? Weeks since you’d sat in this room? Regardless of the situation, the room offered a sense of comfort and familiarity that made it seem like you were here just yesterday, babbling with Chan about anything and everything. Both to your hearts’ content. Wild how much everything had changed.

You seated yourself in your… previously usual spot on the couch as you watched Chan sink back into his desk chair, presumably where he had already been stationed with his computer lit up behind him. A mostly blank screen, so you guessed he hadn’t gotten much done.

Something about seeing him like this- in the context of how things used to be- lit a fire inside you. Not in a good way. In more of a “how could you have been two totally different people this whole time” way. Slowly, your face moved to match the emotion you felt inside. You tried to reign it in, but you couldn’t help it.

“What’s up?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. It almost made you roll your eyes. As if he had the right.

“I’d like to talk about earlier. I’m going to be honest, it seemed completely uncalled for. I understand you wanting to be helpful and give feedback, but I don’t think that yelling at us like we’re children does any good… I guess I would just appreciate it if you could lay off for a little bit. Please,” you stated. All things considered, you thought your response was relatively mature, or, as mature as you could be in the moment.

Chan sunk down further into his chair, his arms and legs splayed out, almost intimidating. He looked like he was lost in thought for a moment before a tiny chuckle left his mouth as he moved his head back and forth.

“You’re right, I was trying to help. If you think that was bad of me, you don’t even want to know what it was like when I was a trainee.”

And just like that, you realized that this conversation was going to go nowhere. Chan didn’t seem like he was one to see reason right now. Just because he had experienced the harshness of the company doesn’t mean that it was just for him to do the same to you.

You quickly stood from your chair, upset but not surprised at the outcome of the conversation. You walked toward the door, obviously annoyed. What was the point?

“That’s it? That’s all you had to say?” Chan asked from behind you just as you were holding the knob to the door.

You took a moment to compose yourself before turning around. “Listen Chris,” you made sure to use his usual English name. “I mean this with the utmost respect, but you’re not even your group’s main dancer... Minho liked it. And so did the other guys. Why are you trying to change everything now?”

He paused for a moment, looking for something to say. You were sure the comment about not being the dancer of his group took him aback. Should you have said it? Maybe not. But might as well if you were going to get everything off your chest.

As Chan sat, continuing to say nothing, the heat from your stomach only rose more. He just looked at you. That was it. No response, no anything. A total lack of humility, eyeing you up and down as if to challenge your very being. Totally and completely degrading.

“Do you really think I’m that bad? Honestly?” you asked loudly, now angry and not letting yourself hold back.

“No,” he replied, face remaining still. And that drove you over the edge.

“Then why do you act like it?! I’ve never done anything to you! You don’t need to spare my feelings, just tell me why you hate me so much?!” you yelled. You figured the walls were soundproof, but you honestly didn’t care who heard.

“I don’t hate you!” Chan said back, almost yelling himself as he stood out of his chair to stand in front of you. “I don’t hate you at all. Don’t fucking say that,” he spoke loudly through gritted teeth.

“Could’ve fooled me,” you said sarcastically, not feeling threatened in the slightest. A laugh almost escaped your mouth at how ridiculous it was. “First, you ignore me, then you insinuate that I’m a whore, and then you’re back to ignoring me. Yet you don’t hate me?!” you scoffed.

“No. I don’t. And I never insinuated that you were a whore. Now please, just stop. I don’t want to do this right now.” His face was red with anger, standing his ground a little to close for comfort.

“Whatever,” you snorted, backing up slightly. “It’s not like you’d be honest about anything anyways. My bad for not realizing it sooner!” you said, voice full of disbelief. You turned your body slightly, ready to pull for the door one again.

“Do you want to know how I feel about you?! Do you truly want to know?!” he strained, jaw clenched as he inched toward you. His voice was borderline on rage now.

You backed against the door as you felt his body move closer, nervous at his sudden change in demeanor. His eyes were black. Mean. Nothing like you’d ever seen them before. You almost winced as he continued loudly.

“I don’t hate you, no… But I wish I never had to fucking see you again. I can’t stand to be around you. I can’t stand to even think about you, do you know that?! Do you know how exhausting it is to try and think about anything but you?! And yet, I have to see you every goddamn day of my life?!” he almost laughed out in frustration. “So no, I do not, in fact, hate you. I am fucking crazy about you, to the point that it is driving me insane. And there’s not a thing in this entire fucking world that I can do about it! So sorry if I’ve ignored you or made you feel whatever type of way, but what else was I supposed to do?! Go on pretending that I don’t want to rip my heart out of my fucking chest every time I see you?! So, you tell me, what should I have done differently?! What would you have done?!”

Your heart stopped. Your mind went blank. Not a single thought could come to you, lost in a daze as the room suddenly looked like it was whooshing around you. You wished more than anything that your brain could turn on- to come up with anything, but it couldn’t.

Chan had pushed himself up right in front of you now, his face only inches from your own. Your mouth stayed silent- mute- as you lost your breath. Without a response from you, he gently closed his eyes, beginning to nod. Maybe he too wasn’t expecting this. Maybe he too didn’t know where to go from here.

But slowly, he opened his eyes wide again. They were much softer now, but still as intense as ever, looking as if he was studying every imperfection on your face.

You tried to push yourself into the door as he moved his face even closer, his hands coming up to hold the door on either side of you, effectively caging you in his stance.

He took a deep breath before starting again, with his voice still filled with that exasperated tone. His eyes moved just so they were aligned with yours, clinging onto them with everything that he had.

“Tell me you don’t feel anything between us,” he breathed out, watching your every expression. “Tell me you didn’t feel anything before all of this shit got in the way. Tell me that you felt nothing and I will leave you alone.” Desperation seeped from his voice.

You felt a hitch in your throat. As if things could have gotten any more extreme. Now, you didn’t even know how to breathe. Your lips spread apart slightly, signaling to him the shock that had overcome you. He didn’t know whether it was good or bad.

“Chris, I…” you started, trying to reclaim your voice. You looked down to the floor. Anywhere but at him. You cleared your throat. “Chris, I’m seeing someone.”

“I know. Jungkook,” he said back, hatred in his voice as he brought his face down to once again try to level with you. “But how well do you really know him, y/n? Tell me how well you could possibly know him in… what? A month? Maybe two?”

“I know him well enough, Christopher. He’s my fucking boyfriend,” you snapped back.

At that, Chris removed his hands from the door behind you, gingerly pushing himself up and away. An agitated smile spread over his face, his tongue running across his teeth and into his cheek as he swayed backwards and around. His hands turned into loose fists, clicking each other as he looked up in disbelief. In annoyance. He shook his head. A stupid grin came over his face as if not knowing what to say.

“He’s your 'boyfriend' now, huh?” he says, finally coming back to settle closer to you.

“Yes…” you responded a bit shyly, not knowing what could come next.

“In that case, since you know your 'boyfriend' so fucking well, you know he’s going out with another girl too, ahh? With Jenna?”

Your eyebrows squeezed together. “With Jenna? What the fuck are you talking about? She only says that shit because she’s jealous or something. I don’t really know, nor do I care since she’s left me alone about it. She has someone anyways…” you trailed off for a moment, thoroughly confused. “But uhh…you- didn’t you have something with her?” you almost laughed, remembering the short time frame you’d seen him talking with her. The flowers. The way he leaned into her. It was almost comical he’d bring her up now.

“What? I- no, I-” Chan said, beginning to stumble over his words. “It wasn’t like that. We talked about this.”

“Yeah, we did. Before she’d strutted into the first day of filming with a bouquet of flowers. Not trying to be weird, but I saw a packet of flower food on your desk a couple of days before. Kind of a weird coincidence if you ask me… It’s fine if you had a thing with her, just don’t fucking lie about it.”

“No, y/n. I never had a thing with her. I gave those flowers to Jungkook, goddamn it. Not her. So how else would they have ended up with her if he didn’t give them to her? That night at Nine Mile. There’s no way in hell he was there ‘stalking you’ that night. He was meeting up with her.”

Your face dropped. There was no way. There was absolutely no way. He’d been going out with you. Publicly. Surely it’s not true. She wouldn’t be okay with that.

“No, there’s something else going on then. She talks about seeing someone else nonstop. Jungkook was meeting up with his friend that night! He showed me the texts! His timeline matched up and everything.”

“And you’re sure it was just a ‘friend?’” Chan raised a brow. “Who was this friend exactly, maybe I would know them?”

“I don’t know- I mean, he said his name was-” your mind flashed back to the screen. The conversation you’d seen before. J.T. “He said his name was J.T., but I didn’t ask anything more than that. It’s not like I-” you got out before Chan cut you off.

“J.T.?” he laughed. “J.T.? Come on, y/n, think about it.”

Your mind wandered. ‘J.T.? What was wrong with that? J.T… Jenna?’ You felt your heart sink.

“Jenna Thomas?” Chan stated more than asked, watching your face drop.

Again, you were lost for words. There had to be another explanation.

“I introduced them. Before filming started…” Chan began again, talking much quieter now. “And before he met you. I… well I thought they’d had a thing before and that just kind of proved it. And I’ve just, I’ve kept hearing things. I’m so sorry,” Chan’s voice cut out, realizing the load of information he’d just dropped on you.

Again, you couldn’t say anything. With a heavy heart, you looked off, trying to put all of the pieces together. With your voice now silent, Chan started rambling, trying to say anything that came to mind. Anything that could provide a small ounce of comfort.

“I hoped that maybe you knew. Maybe it was in the past, and he told you. Obviously I didn’t think he did, but… But I thought maybe… For your sake... That’s why I’ve been so weird, and I’m just… I’m so so sorry. I didn’t want things to have to be like this. You deserve so much more. You deserve so much more than him.”

You felt a tear run down your cheek. Almost numb, but the feeling of the coolness slowly creeping its way down was unmistakable.You didn’t mean to cry. In fact, this was the last thing you’d wanted. But you just couldn’t help it. Your life suddenly felt like it was on fire- that it had been on fire this whole time without you feeling so much as a flicker. You couldn’t have a good friend in Chan. You couldn’t have a boyfriend in Jungkook. Your whole life in Korea had been a lie. You’d become so invested in that lie that you’d let it become the defining story of your time in Korea… over Everyday Idol, over all of the amazing friends that you’d made, over all of the experiences that people had given to you, over everything. You’d put a boy before all of that. A boy who had done nothing but lie while contributing it to the others around you. You felt so stupid. You felt so naive.You suddenly felt so alone. And so, the tears continued to fall.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please don’t cry,” Chan started back. He reached an arm out, gently now, to place it on your arm, as if testing how much he could get away with. When you didn’t flinch, no hint of hesitation to be found, he let himself rub up and down your arm for a few moments before bringing his body closer, wrapping you into a hug.

And so you stood, for what felt like days, grounded in the stillness of Chan’s arms. He held you tightly, trying to softly rock you as your entire body felt like it would give in. Your legs felt flimsy, and you were sure that without Chan to hold you upright, you’d have already given in to the gravity and made your way to the ground. The slightly salty smell of tears became apparent across Chan’s chest, who didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

“Shh, shh,” he whispered, rubbing your back lightly. “It’s okay.”

His words only made you want to sob more. You tried to quieten them, and managed to stifle a few short breaths before almost choking entirely. You felt yourself start to hiccup before slow, rolling streams continued down, not as forceful now. You tried taking big, deep breaths as you clung onto Chan as tightly as you could.

“He's not worth it, I promise,” Chan said quietly. “He’s not worth you feeling like this.” He continued to gently rock you.

In the lull of his heartbeat and in the comfort of his words, you started to calm. Slowly. But seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into a sort of new clarity. You contemplated what Chan said. He was right. Jungkook was not worth it. He was not worth the tears. He was not worth any reaction that your overstimulated brain could conjure up. In the wake of it, you realized you didn’t even know him. He was simply a fraud. An imposter. An exploiter. You fell in love with the thought of him, not the reality of him. And although it didn’t lessen the harshness of reality, it did alleviate some of the gnawingly painful sensitivity you felt inside.

Your heart calmed and your tears stopped. After a few sniffles, you hesitantly pulled back from Chan’s embrace which had sheltered you for so long. Feeling the cold air come between you two, you suddenly felt exposed. You knew your eyes were puffy and red, makeup surely smeared all over your face. You looked down, not sure how you’d be able to make eye contact.

“You okay?” Chan offered a warm grin, gripping your hand to give it a tight squeeze.

You nodded before clearing your throat. “I think so,” you tried to return the tiny, timid smile.

“Atta girl,” he smiled before taking your other hand too, shaking them around to try to get a genuine smile out of you.

It worked. Before long, you were laughing a bit, giggling at his ability to lighten the mood. You shook your head, finally able to look up to his face. “Thank you Channie.”

You watched as his eyes softened. It was like they had a million stars in them, all fixated on you. The most kind eyes you’d ever seen. He held your hands tighter, interlacing his fingers with yours. “You don’t need to thank me,” he smiled.

But you did. And you needed to do much more.

“I do though,” you said, just noticing your hands in his. The way he held them out, positioned like that was where they were meant to be all along. The sight took you off guard for a moment.

“And I also needed to say I’m sorry…” you continued. “For making you feel that way. I didn’t know.”

“Oh, uhm,” Chan said, now with an embarrassed smile on his face, as he removed his hands from yours. He reached one hand around to rub the back of his neck as he looked down, trying to do an awkward laugh to diffuse the situation. “No it’s…” he shook his head a little before looking up. “It’s really okay. It wasn’t your fault. It was my own emotions that I was projecting onto you. You didn’t- you didn’t do anything.”

He looked shy now. No, more than shy. He looked like he wanted to burrow into a hole and hide himself away from you. You knew what he was thinking. Please stop. Please just leave it. But you couldn’t. Not with the way he’d just made you feel. Not with the knowledge you now had. Forget Jungkook. Forget whatever lies he’d been spouting to you. Chan may have come across like an asshole, but at least he wasn’t lying about the way he felt. He was truthful. He’d always been truthful. You just wished you would have been able to realize the difference sooner.

“But I did do something,” you started, taking a deep breath. Your body started to move independently of your mind. You couldn’t formulate thoughts. You couldn’t form an action plan. Now, your body just did, and you didn’t ask questions.

You reached again for Chan’s hand, but couldn’t bring yourself to hold onto it. Instead, you just brushed against it, letting him know you were there. “I messed up with you for someone I didn’t even truly know. I jumped to assumptions without even hearing you out. And I will always regret that.” You looked at him, eyes wide, silently begging for forgiveness. You hoped he knew that.

Chan looked past your shoulder for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “Well don’t. I will never regret feeling the way that I have. It will be okay, and we can both move on from all of this. Right now, we just… I just want you to feel better,” he said, letting out a deep breath.

“I want that too,” you said shyly.

You stood in silence for a few moments, neither of you daring to look at each other- neither of you knowing what to say next. Sitting with only your thoughts, it was hard to not become restless. You wanted him to say something, anything, but he wasn’t budging. Just looking off, embarrassed at the situation he’d found himself in. You couldn’t deny how cute he looked, his ears a soft shade of pink. His cheeks had turned a new rosy color you’d never seen before. Maybe, just maybe, he wanted this too.

“Kiss me,” you blurted out. Your mouth was faster than your mind, pushing through whatever invisible wall had been built between you and the truth.

Chan’s eyes sprang wide, turning his face to yours. “What?” he asked, a smile trying to creep across his face, but still convinced he’d misheard you.

“Kiss. Me,” you breathed out. “Please.”

You didn’t have time to gauge his reaction as as swiftly as the words left your mouth, he was hastily propelling himself forward, wasting no time in processing your words.

Hurriedly, his hands found their way to the sides of your face, followed by his lips crashing in to connect with yours. His lips were soft as they mingled with the saltiness still overlying your own. He moved them feverishly, rushing through any apprehension that could have possibly stood in the way.

You let out a deep sigh, feeling the way that his body moved in to press up against yours, effectively pushing you against the door again as he guided your head in the direction he wanted you. His chest, toned and forcing its way into you, was heaving heavily as he did all he could to not have to disconnect his lips from yours.

His mouth opened, his tongue escaping his mouth to find yours. You fervently slipped your lips apart, making just enough room to feel him work his tongue along the inside of your lips, stopping only when he ran into your teeth. You gladly dropped your jaw open to allow him full access, moaning when you felt him move deeper inside.

You felt yourself running out of breath as you took turns entangling your tongues into each other. But you didn’t want to stop. You didn’t dare to take away one moment from this experience.

You grabbed gently to Chan’s chest and to the side of his neck, pulling him as close as possible as you gasped for air. He followed suit, allowing his hands to run up and down your silhouette. The sensation of his warm, strong hands gently massaging at your sides was enough to fulfill your desires for the rest of your life. Experiencing him like this, grappling at you, exposed you to something so carnal in him that you knew you’d never be able to forget.

As you both continued to explore each other, you audibly gasped as Chan’s hands made their way to firmly grip your ass. He pulled his mouth back quickly. “Is this okay?” he whispered. You could tell he was still in a half-daze.

“Mm-mm,” you smiled before bringing your mouth back to his. Slowly, you let your hand run along his chest as he continued to squeeze on you. Short moans left his mouth as your hand ran down further, feeling each mound of his abs along the way. He was so tight, his torso contracting with each breath as they became more and more sharp.

When you finally made your way down to the line of his waistband, he moaned heavily, almost bucking his hips up to deepen your touch. He blew out a hot, shaky breath into your mouth, trying his absolute best to not let his mind transcend and escape the confines of his body.

Little did he know that you were doing the same. The closer you got to him, the harder he pulled you in. Without realizing it, you could feel his bulge harden against you. Although you were both fully clothed, there was no mistaking the stiffness that was pressed up against your core. As he continually pressed himself into you, it became more and more apparent to the point that you were growing wet just thinking about it.

You were going wild over this man. Your entire being felt healed in this moment. And just when you thought you couldn’t feel any more connected, you felt Chan detach his mouth from yours to run it down along your jawline and to the side of your neck. He planted soft kisses originally, but as the madness of you continuing to play with his waist band drove him insane, he started to bite down ever so slightly. He knew better than to leave a mark, but it took all of the restraint he had to stop himself from completely demolishing you.

At the feeling of him lightly gnawing, you whimpered, finally letting your hand snake down further as you pushed your chest into him. You felt the wetness at your core start to pool. You knew you weren’t going to make it much longer by the heaviness you felt at your pussy throbbing.

“Chris…” you exhaled, dragging a single finger across the outline of his cock, earning a hiss from him in response.

“Chris, please,” you continued, letting yourself mumble out anything that came to mind. You needed him. Now. And you knew he needed you too.

“Yes, baby?” he said lowly, pulling off of you with the tiniest smirk. His eyes looked you up and down, taking in this moment and how good he felt. He could feel himself salivating, wandering eyes going down to your hand that was now resting on his cock.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, throwing his head back and smiling to himself. This was his life. And he couldn’t believe it. His hips reflexively bucked up into you.

Suddenly, your mind came to as you felt a gyration behind you along with a loud knocking sound. ‘Shit,’ you thought, your stomach dropping.

Chan’s head sprang back up. “Fuck,” he huffed out, now in frustration. His face went angry as he rolled his eyes. Tongue in his cheek, he shook his head back and forth before backing away from you.

“Chan-hyung, we’re getting dinner!” you heard Felix’s voice shout through the wooden barrier. Quickly the door flung open, knocking you over in the process. “What do you wan-” Felix stopped himself as he felt the weight of your body contact the door.

“Oh my God, y/n, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?"

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i SO appreciate everyone being patient with me during this series. i have been so busy these days and haven't had time to just sit down and WRITE (i have to have long spans of time all at once to work on fics like this sadly), so thank you x a million for bearing with me.

i've mentioned this before, but the rest of the series is mapped out, and it starts to get INTENSE. i will put some trigger warnings at the beginning of the next few chapters without trying to give away too much. PLEASE make sure to read the warnings before continuing on!!! <3

Tag list : @lailac13 @freyjhasdesiredreality @shellyyy177 @enzos-shit @laylasbunbunny @11thenightwemet11 @stayceebs97 @greyyeti @de-uns-tempos-pra-ca

#bang chan #bangchan #stray kids #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #christopher bang #bangchan scenarios #bangchan imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #bangchan x reader #bangchan fanfic

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