#when I say I had to reopen my game a million times to get these right I am not joking

[chronicowboy]

Buck loves kids. He's always loved kids. Well, apart from ages eleven through fourteen, but in his defence, middle school kids are quite literally evil. Like spawn of satan evil.

Apart from Christopher. He's an angel.

But the point is, Buck's always loved kids. Its why he always volunteers to free little girls from claw machines or bundle little boys up in his turnouts.

He loves kids. He loves talking space with Denny, and pretending to know video games with Harry, and having very serious conversations with Jee.

He loves kids. Never thought he could have them when he was younger, assumed he'd be fun uncle Buck forever. He loves kids. Wants them more than anything, maybe more than a partner. He loves kids. That's why he—

Fuck.

"Hey," Eddie leans against his locker, back in his street clothes, unbearably soft in the morning light. "Chris is getting all antsy about his dance on Friday, could use a hand helping him calm down long enough to try his suit on?"

He raises a hopeful eyebrow, but all Buck can see is the memory playing in Eddie's eyes. The memory of Buck, teary-eyed and half-drunk, a week after his parents left the state, telling Eddie he'd never been to a school dance because he was always grounded. That he'd only ever made it to prom because he'd asked the daughter of one of his dad's colleagues and he wouldn't let Buck stand her up.

"Sorry, man." He smiles, he wonders how long both of them can keep pretending its not a grimace. "Looking after Jee whilst Maddie and Chim go house hunting."

"Oh." Eddie blinks, the corners of his mouth twitching up. "You could always bring her along. She might be a good distraction for Chris, and you know—"

"No." Buck clears his throat, looks very hard into his locker for the hoodie he knows he already packed into his duffel. "I mean, I just hardly get any time with her, you know? So, I just kind of want to..."

"Oh, yeah, sure. 'Course, man." Eddie doesn't bother with a grimacing smile, just lets the furrow crease his brows. "Gotta keep up the title of best uncle, right?"

"Please." Buck scoffs. "Can she say Albert's name?"

"Right." Eddie nods with pursed lips. "Definitely doesn't have anything to do with easier phonetics and half the amount of syllables."

"Wow. I thought you were supposed to be on my side."

And, see, he means it as a joke. The whole conversation is a joke, really. Like Buck desperately doesn't want his niece and his— His Christopher to coexist in the same space, in the warm embrace of the Diaz house, home. But he can't, he just can't.

Still, its a joke. Only Eddie must be done with his jokes because he steps in closer, lays a gentle hand on his bicep and ducks his head until Buck has to meet his eyes. Like the tsunami.

Like the start of it all.

"I'm always on your side, Buck." He murmurs, more of a breath than anything. A confession that makes Buck a little dizzy. And then, Eddie's patting his arm and sweeping out of the locker room just as Hen and Chim come in.

"We'll drop Jee off at eleven, Buckaroo?" Chim says.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Two days after Jee-Yun gives him the best workout of his life, he shoots a text to Hen asking if she wants to take Denny to the Renaissance Fair which had finally reopened after dealing with the bee problem.

He doesn't mean to do it is the thing. Sure, in his probie year, after Hen had finally trusted him enough to let him meet Denny, they'd hung out all the time. He'd practically fast-tracked his way to uncle Buck. But then, Eddie Diaz had waltzed into his life and said I'm all he's got and the rest—

Well, the rest is history.

But the thing is, Buck's DNA is floating somewhere in the American healthcare system in a little plastic cup with a green lid and he's trying very hard not to think about all the ways that could break him into a million pieces.

Because there's something hollow and empty inside of him that's slowly been shattering ever since Connor said that he didn't have enough swimmers. And it crumbles a little more every time he thinks of Christopher.

He thinks of that night in his loft with a frustrated rant, and two indulgent Diaz boys, a missing couch, and a lasagne that took three tries to get it right. A night that had become routine for them. And now he hasn't seen Christopher in almost two months, hasn't seen Christopher since—

Since Lev.

Two months he's spent trying desperately not to think of the way he'd seen Christopher safe in Eddie's arms and collapsed into a heap because his job was done and that was enough. Two months he's spent trying not to think about the flash of happiness that came with the end of a tsunami. Two months he's spent trying not to think about how he's buried that realization for almost three years.

He just. Christopher is growing up, he's lying to his dad, and sneaking out to see his friends, and going to dances, and having crushes. And Buck is trying so hard to remember. To listen to the cyclical chant of guardian, not dad echoing around his skull every time Eddie turns to him expectantly upon a mention of his son.

Because he has an answer to Hen's question. Finally.

But, fuck, he doesn't even really care about his sperm anymore. He doesn't give a fuck about the abstract concept of a child biologically half his out there in the world, out of sight and out of reach. He just doesn't care. Because nothing will ever hurt as much as having everything he's ever wanted at his fingertips and still not being able to grab it for fear of it vanishing into thin air.

He doesn't care about not getting to raise his child because there's a child he actually cares about, a child he's been raising. A child that's not his, but could be—

Fuck.

So, he's at a renaissance fair with his friend and her son, picking out a sword so that his niece knows that she doesn't have to be a damsel in distress, but he's trying so damn hard not to think about a little kid—who's not really all that little anymore—sat in a barber's chair because he wanted to look good for his crush.

It feels a lot like pressing his thumb into the space between bruised ribs.

[quohotos]

I'm assuming you've played some ttrpgs based on your posts so what are some of the characters you've played?

It is true, I have played a lot of TTRPGs, however most often I was the forever DM, so a lot of times the characters I was playing were NPCs or villains.

Here's a set of some villains from from one of my first campaigns. They are a species called "Nocturns" and are based on bats. These ones have all had their wings amputated which sure as heck made it easier to draw them. I don't post a lot of these guys because, again, they're part of unpublished works that will get a big art drop if I ever manage to find a publishing solution.

In order from top to bottom:

Commander Symeraks is a flamboyant diva who writes and directs plays when he's not busy leading armies. He's incredibly skilled and incredibly dangerous, but easily distracted. Commander Glyph is cunning, ruthless, pragmatic, and not actually that skilled. He's a mediocre commander, but he attaches himself to Symeraks and keeps him out of trouble as his handler. He hopes that he can ride Symeraks' coat tails into a higer ranking position. Don't ship them, Symeraks is gay for someone else and Glyph would rather die than kiss anyone. Lomedia is a burning spirit of chaos who everyone hates, including herself. She's been demoted a million times but always finds some way to cling on and make everyone's lives a little bit worse. She's constantly betraying, backstabbing, and lying and yet somehow the rest of them always give her another chance.

Those are some memorable villains from one of my campaigns, but here are some more memorable characters I've played, in order of most favorite to least favorite.

Bradly Arbor is a 19 year old who's just out of highschool. He was captain of the football team, but also got all the lead roles in the play by virtue of being one of the few guys who enrolled in the school plays (he was not a good actor). He did that all to get closer to a girl who he was infatuated with... unfortunately she came out as a lesbian and his heart was crushed. Rather than go to college he got a deadend job at a little emporium that reopened in town and accidentally got embroiled in the supernatrual.

It was a monster of the week game, and his class was "Professional", interpreted very sarcastically and very loosely. That sword he carries is The Phoenix King (a perk of the job). It can speak and has deep lore implication that he's just too much of a dumb himbo to really grasp or care about. What's important is that it lights ablaze when he says "Hey, do the thing where you're on fire".

Other notable parts of his character design are his Marry Poppins briefcase (another perk of the job), and his cracked iphone 5 (not a perk of the job). He's dumb as rocks, but his heart is in the right place, specifically in his rib-cage

Morgan is a Dragonborn barbarian that I made for a friend's campaign set in a homebrew setting. I was feeling lazy with character designs that day so I adapted the character of Morgan from my unreleased serial to the 5e setting, thus she has hair instead of a frill.

Same backstory though, an exhiled princess who refuses to work out her feelings and instead cuts people's heads off while moralistically spouting about a religion that basically no one but her believes in. She has some cool homebrew heart-eating mechanics that my DM gave me because no one wanted to play a healer in that game, so this interpretation of Morgan also gets up to some Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom shenanigans.

Of notable importance, I was basically done with the drawing and then asked my DM "Hey, where do you stand on the lizard boob debate?" after a hilarious conversation in which they lost all respect for me, my DM decided that, yes, lizards have boobs in his setting, so I haphazardly added some cloth to her chest to be compliant with his lore.

Lastly is Rythian, an elf Monk that I threw together for an ill-fated game that only lasted like one session. He's an elf monk, named after a yogscast member because I really struggle with originality sometimes. His body was horribly burned in an incident so he wears these cool wraps to cover it up... why he doesn't wear just regular clothes is beyond me. He's special like that I guess.

It's been a while so I don't remember much more of his lore, but I do remember how much I miss adobe illustrator draw... fuck that was a good app. Why the fuck did they have to shut it down? Is there anything else like it?

Some of my coolest characters for ttrpgs were from games that I played with a close group of friends who never want to speak to me ever again... so out of respect for them I'll omit all the cool art I made for those games.

Thank you for the ask!

[richmond-on-three]

Sam/Simi - Date

Send me a pairing and a word for a fic <3

"I knew I'd find you out here" Sam chuckled, stepping out of the kitchen and into the small alleyway behind Ola's. Simi let out a breath, and Sam frowned, having not realised until he saw her breath that she had been vaping "I thought you had given it up"

"I said I tried to" Simi corrected, pocketing her vape in the hopes it would prevent Sam from lecturing her on making healthy choices again. She knew he meant well, but sometimes his care could be mistaken as condescending. Sam's frown deepened, and Simi sighed; it was baffling how he could say so much with such a simple expression "I'll try again Monday. Anyway, why were you looking for me? Those idiots start a fire in there?"

"No, they didn't; the staff here are quite capable, remember. It's why we hired them" Sam replied, leaning against the wall beside Simi. For a moment, they stood in silence, listening to the shouts from the kitchen and the low hum of the city, taking time to simply enjoy each other's company "I was just wondering if you had eaten anything yet"

“I have; my break started twenty minutes ago” Simi replied, aware she should head back inside and start preparing for the dinner rush to begin “If you want to eat with me, you have got to start coming around here a little earlier” 

“I try my best; training just seems to be running over a lot more lately” 

“Kent probably just wants you all fit enough to win the whole thing like the rest of us. I don’t want to keep working for a loser” Simi teased, smiling when Sam laughed loudly. Sam had found her teasing slightly offputting at one point, but as they got to know each other and found their way to a dynamic that many questions and few understood, he had grown to love it. Sam almost felt unsettled if he had come by the restaurant and wasn’t teased by the head chef. 

“You’re hilarious” 

“I try my best” 

“Then I wouldn’t quit my day job if I was you” Sam shook his head “I don’t think you’d make much as a comedian” 

“Fuck off; I’d make millions. I’d be more rich and famous than you, and I’d own twice as many restaurants” 

“And deal with twice as many mean head chefs” 

“If you think I’m mean, Sam, then I don’t know how you survive the trash talk involved in football” Simi noted, rolling her eyes as Sam stuck his tongue out at her. Silence fell over them again, but neither felt the need to fill it as the seconds passed, happy just to be in one another’s company until Simi spoke again “Apparently, we have a lot of two-tops tonight; Ola’s is becoming a popular date spot” 

“I think we’re getting a lot of the crowd from Taste of Athens while it’s under construction” Sam admitted, making a mental note to ask Nate or Jade if they had any idea when the restaurant would be reopening. He wanted to be prepared  for when his main competitor got back in the game “I like that people are bringing their dates here; it’s sweet” 

“When are you going to ask me on one?” Simi blurted, surprising even herself as the words fell from her mouth. She and Sam had been dancing around it for months, the something that existed between them, and she couldn’t do it anymore. Simi needed to know where she stood,

“On one what?” 

“On a date, Sam” Simi exhaled, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. Despite how smart Sam seemed, he was also really good at fulfilling the stupid football player stereotype at the most inconvenient of times “I mean, we both know we’re into each other…right?”

“I am your boss, Simi” Sam reminded her, hating the circumstances under which they had met. If he was just a boy and she was just a girl, Sam was confident he would have already proposed to Simi by now. She was exceptional, and Sam hated that he couldn’t tell her “It would be unethical, it would be complicated” 

“Then I quit” 

“You cannot quit” 

“Really? If I can’t quit, then-”

“I am not going to fire you either” Sam fixed her with a glare; her insistence that he should ask her out was only increasing the temptation. He wanted a life with Simi, and it seemed she wanted one with him as well, but for now, Sam knew they’d have to settle for sharing meals during her breaks and conversing when she would rather vape instead.

“When I am rich, famous and dealing with twice as many rude head chefs….” Simi began, her smile not reaching her eyes as she spoke. She liked Sam; she just liked her job a lot more. Simi almost hated him for understanding that; she wished he didn’t know her so well “Will you ask me out?”

“Yes” Sam nodded, tempted to remind her the only requirement for him to ask her out was that he was not her boss anymore. Living in a fantasy where they could actually be together was too fun to spoil with a reminder about their reality “Will you say yes?”

“Maybe…” Simi nodded, the teasing glint in her eyes informing Sam that nothing had changed between them “You’ll have to ask in a pretty spectacular way, though. I’ll have lots of people who’ll want to date me when they learn how funny I am” 

[spoke-n-languish]

My dear lady, and my enigmatic downfall,

By the way, as you read this, it should either resonate with truth (give or take some slight adjustment), or be completely off base and potentially offensive. If you feel the latter at all please do not take offense, I never intend that for you, and if I’m that off it is a sign of how much help I need. But, well here goes…

Somehow you have infected me. Negatively but also in a good way as well. You have hacked your code like a virus directly into my DNA. On one hand I can recognize that your father in San Francisco, possibly, 12941 653247 (Illustration) according to his web page is not dead. Nor was he a chef? …at least it looks like that credit goes to whom I’m assuming is your mother, 4842317 6247, and her catering business in Malaysia. Your name is not 424574514, and I cannot find a picture of you more recent than what you had posted when you were here with me, except for what 152937 8941237 6. 149164182 has posted, but I’m pretty sure that was just for a promo shoot, right?? Inexplicably, I am openly crying while I write this because of the pain of reopening wounds, the ache of loss, and the stabbing of regret and guilt on top of the pangs of love unrequited.

Why?

What did I ever do to deserve being lied to, manipulated, and robbed by you in such an incredibly intimate betrayal of trust that even looking back now, and recognizing that I don’t know if you ever once told me something that wasn’t a lie… and yet, I still love you?!?

When you first met me, I am assuming that it was Brooke or her associates that were trying to bait me into infidelity. I get that, but why these extreme lengths of faking your father’s death, and the insane period of threatening suicide over and over. There is no way that all of that was staged. Besides, you didn’t start 712432787 until 2018, so I’m thinking at least a couple months at the beginning, there must have been a real true emotional connection with you, because I cannot accept that a human could say the things you’d said and promised what you’d promised with heartfelt meaning that I know I felt.

I get that things didn’t always go so smoothly, and I apologize that I wasn’t given the opportunity to fulfill my vow to you in time, but I still have a million questions and this whole ending process has left me incapable of functioning properly mentally as I suspect I have succumbed to a more comprehensive dementia. (A couple days ago I borrowed chef’s truck and drove down to kealakekua because I thought you were in trouble, and then yesterday, I almost got arrested because I was led into a strangers house where I thought you were staying… and I don’t think you’re even on the island).

I don’t blame you for growing and advancing yourself… I’m actually quite proud of you for that, but it doesn’t make sense to me why you couldn’t bring me along with you. By which I mean we could have developed this future together. Instead, you took every advantage of me (in an already diminished health state), broke my heart, shattered my spirit, and fragmented my mind with the constant onslaught of slanderous cyber-warfare. But what really was the Spanish necktie coup de gras, was that in your game of hot/cold I love you/I ghost you/I’m in danger — you have preyed upon the exact triggers that I couldn’t ignore or walk away from. It’s like you were speeding away in a car and I couldn’t get my hand to let go off the bumper so I just got drug along behind until I had been worn down to nothing left.

I know that I don’t have anything to offer you anymore (you were always way out of my league anyway), nor is there reason for you to show any interest. It is not your job to supervise my state, and I would be just a waste of your resources. I stand by my word and what I have said throughout our time together in that you do not owe me anything.

So, unfortunately, I am once again left with no recourse but to prostrate myself before you and beg, like the sick and wounded malfeasant that I am. I beg of your mercy, my lady, if ever I did stir an element of love within your heart, when you have the time and if you don’t mind, would you please just come talk to me. My thinking is that perhaps if you wouldn’t mind illuminating some of the riddles in which I have become so entangled. I fear I will never be able to find let alone fix myself in my current state. It feels like a slithering weight has me within its coils and I stand no chance against the effective lethality of this 424-con ya’ have trapped me with. (See what I did there?)

And, to prove the magnitude of how greatly you have corrupted my logic and ensnared my heart, I forgive you for all transgressions (even the one’s ongoing still), and I love you! You are amazing and getting to share in part of your life was more than I have ever deserved. I can’t help it if every fiber of my being gets on board when I dream… dreaming and hoping are all I have left it seems (and even they falter lately). But my baby, my light and my love, I thank you and I will hold your memory fondly in my thoughts and in my heart.

With all of my best love,

Always Yours

P.S. I apologize for my ineptitude regarding the navigation of social media (kinda your fault as I had to teach myself essentially how to piece together a puzzle on the surface of a flowing river). Regardless, I do not have a way to contact you. So I am going to just post this here in the hopes that you will find it. Upon which I shall further hope that when you do you will notify me in some fashion so that I can take it down and stop humiliating myself even further.

[uptownoxy]

you know i came into this music shit with enthusiasm and anticipation to have fun not use it as an outlet to express my emotions but over time it slowly became my only outlet to express myself and i no longer look at that as a bad thing.

of course there are ups and down to every story but never in a million years would i of thought i would of had to go through what i went through in february of this year.

losing one of the only people that i’ve ever been able to be around without having to confine to some sort of social standard or have to worry about what someone was really thinking is one of the most painful things i’ve ever endured to say the least because it still hasn’t even registered that you’re gone.

our relation was so different because we were both in the same situation coming from the same thing going on at home and living in the lowest income place in the city.

growing up there was an unspoken feeling of acknowledgement to the fact that we weren’t suppose to be like anyone in the city and our aspirations were way farther than what whatever radius we happened to be in and football was something both of us used as a crutch to keep us as far away from what we never wanted to be.

sadly the coaches we were given didn’t care about the kids who didn’t have parents that were apart of the booster clubs or were apart of the prep kids who’s parents had been friends since high school and that showed me from a early point in life that all that shit ever was is politics.

as time went on and people started caring less we both started becoming what we used to frown upon and there was nothing we could do about it.

both of us had so many odds against us that opened my eyes to the way society is set up in places like where we grew up in. if u don’t have the right infrastructure at home it’s survival of the fittest way before you reach the age of being an adult and that’s something we were both trying to fill a void with.

i know there’s so many what ifs and excuses but sometimes i just wish we would’ve realized what we had from the start and made sure that no matter what we weren’t gonna let shit get between us but sure enough life happened and we both started trying to figure out what we were gonna do to survive and when you had to leave the city the only thing we could do is talk on a fuckin phone...

i know u probably thought i was the one who went hollywood and stopped fucking w everyone but what i was going thru was something i figured you would’ve understood.

you know all my life i’ve been really good at making things look perfect when they’re really the farthest thing from that so you probably thought i was good because i never made it seem any other way but just as lost as you were i was too

going from growing up with someone to slowly seeing each other have to go y’all separate ways and make due because y’all ain’t have no to support y’all was painful itself because i knew what we came from and i knew where we wanted to but but when the only one to support you is yourself it turns into a race to live.

when we started making music it was a fun thing. it reopened a lane for us to be in and learn from.

from the start music was always something that brought us together.

i remember after school one day i played lifestyle by thug on some dude bluetooth speaker and you heard it and said “this my shit” and we ended up singing it back n forth like we was the ones who made it and mind u this was before high school and before we ever even thought about making music but that moment was monumental for what would come to be.

when we first me we had some friction and i think that’s cause we both had a “who dis?” moment and we both just wanted to be at the top of the food chain but we both realized we were different from everyone else.

i remember playing 2 ball at the rec watching u play and after a few games i asked u if u wanted to be on my team and you said yeah and we was both lowkey geeked cause we had never had a real interaction before that but we ended up going like 5 games undefeated and after the rec closed i ended up going to ya crib and from there we were inseparable

before then we were both fans of each other but it was never an expressed thing because for whatever reasons but after we became friends it was something powerful. some we can conquer the world type shi lol.

i think seeing what we both came from let us put that wall of judgment down that we had to keep up with everyone else and that was ultimately what made our bond even stronger.

now that i know how political school is i can see how many people tried to put us again each other i wish we could’ve realized they were just doing what they were doing cause they ain’t have what we had

i’m just glad that even tho we had to maneuver thru a lot we always knew what blood couldn’t make us closer than what we were

i hate to even be saying shit like this because i still feel something empty inside of me but i love you bro and i’m sorry shit played out the way it did. i know you were only doing what you did to survive so i don’t blame you for anything that you did. mfs took advantage of you and ain’t care about the outcome it ima make sure what we started gets finished.

they don’t know the last time i got to talk to you i told you i was thinking bout ending my shit and now i got more than a reason to live. i promise you bro i’m do this for you. ima make sure yo daughter good and i will never let your name die. i love you bro i’m literally crying so much right now trying to type all this shit but i know you’re spirit is still alive and until we meet again i got something to prove so until then save me a spot up there and continue watching over me twinski. i love you eternally jay meeks.

[breezytrait]

☼ sims 4 cas lighting mods (free download!)

here are some lighting mods I came up with that I think look similar to studio lights!! these were also tested with light background colors and look just as good. I was just too lazy to take screenshots after having to close and reopen my game a million times to make these ツ enjoy ♡ (only use one lighting mod at a time!)

hard side light

ring light + rgb lights (my favorite!)

ring light

soft side light

download here (sfs, no ads) extra previews of ring light + rgb and the sims 4 default lighting below the cut! @emilyccfinds, @mmfinds

ring light + rgb

sims 4 default cas lighting

[yelena-bellova]

Fault Line: Prologue - Steve Rogers x F!Enhanced!Reader

Prologue - chapter one

Masterlist

Plot: Y/n’s life is a game of hide and seek and so far she’s beaten everybody. But her winning streak may not last as long as she’d hoped it would.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: OKAY. I have too many fics going at once but I got this idea and couldn’t let it go. I tried writing a Steve x Reader series a while back and it sucked quite frankly, so I spent a little more time developing this one. Steve doesn’t appear in this chapter but plenty of familiar faces do. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! (no beta reader because we die like men.)

--------

Bosnian winters were brutal. It got down to freezing temperatures, the pavement was iced over, you couldn’t go a day without being hit by a snowstorm…It was by no means remote but if you were hiding from something, not many people thought to look there. Which meant I was safe.

I casually strolled through the crowded Sarajevo marketplace, the only care in my mind being what I should eat for lunch. As soon as I stepped foot into the city, I knew I was on borrowed time. Not that it mattered, quick escapes were my forte. I spotted a falafel stand run by a middle aged man, one of the only stalls I hadn’t stopped at in the last few days. 

“Jedan, molim,” I said, smiling sweetly at the vendor as I watched him make the dish. As he prepared to hand me the finished product, I faked innocence and rushed to dig through the empty pockets of my coat. The man handed me the food wrapped in paper and raised his eyebrows expectantly. I looked up from my coat pockets and tilted my head, “Izvini.” Before he could understand why I was apologizing, I was gone…Having vanished into thin air.

When I reappeared, I was no longer in the marketplace. I was outside the abandoned shack in the Bosnian forest I’d been calling home the last couple days. I was living a ways out from the country’s capital so the search for the disappearing woman remained unsuccessful. Triumphant in having scored lunch, I turned on my heels to head inside my temporary home.

I hadn’t expected the dozen armed soldiers with their guns aimed at me.

“You boys wanna come in for a drink?” I quipped in English, gesturing to the front door, “I’m not sure I have enough for everyone but I can pop out to the store and get some more.” “I’d stay here if I were you,” a shadowed figure said from the front porch, “It didn’t take us long to track you and it won’t be hard to do it again.” Americans. In Bosnia. Interesting…

“Mind telling me who the hell you are?” I called, squinting to try and make the voice’s body out.

A man came forward, stepping in between two of the soldiers who still had yet to lower their weapons. He pushed back the hood of his winter coat to show his face, “Agent Coulson, we’re with S.H.I.E.L.D. We’d like you to come with us.” I looked behind and around me, waiting for someone to make a move. “So I’m supposed to just go with a group of soldiers with their guns pointed at my head? Is it that simple, Agent Coulson?” “It can if you want it to be,” he replied, for as threatening as he should have been he wore a small smile on his face, “We’d like to talk to you.” “About?”

“About how someone like you has been jumping from Russia to Colombia without a plane. Or India to Canada. Or Jamaica to Scotland.”

I raised an eyebrow and casually took a bite of the stolen falafel I still held, “So you have been tracking me.” “Miss Y/l/n, it would seem that you’re highly gifted,” Agent Coulson continued, taking a step closer to me, “We’re here to help you, not to hurt you. I’d like to bring you back to headquarters to talk to you about your abilities.” I smirked as I chewed, “I’m not a mercenary that organizations like yours can just hire for an assassination.” “That’s not why we’re here. It’s not what you can do for us, it’s what we can do for you.” “Hmm,” I sarcastically smiled, “And what is it that I’m getting out of going with you?”

“A life where you don’t have to steal baklava for lunch.”

Having lived how I had for so long, I prided myself on my good instincts. There was good, there was bad and every once in a while there was a grey area. A combination of right and wrong that was subjective to each person’s perspective. As my eyes scanned over Agent Coulson, a professional yet non threatening presence, and the soldiers ready to kill me if I dared to fight back, I decided that I had just landed in a very grey area. If I didn’t go with them, I wasn’t sure what they’d do. If I did, I wasn’t sure what they’d ask of me.

Then again, I was a bit of a grey area myself.

I held up my food, “It’s a falafel.”

————

It had been a long time since I’d been back in the states longer than the five seconds it took to steal a bag of Cheetos from a convenience store.

Agent Coulson had deposited me in a stark white interrogation room and promptly left. After the twenty minute mark passed without anyone entering, disappearing and landing in Cairo began to sound more and more attractive. Just as I was seriously considering it, the locked door opened.

“Miss Y/l/n,” a dark skinned man greeted, “You’re a hard one to pin down.” “Really? Cause according to Agent Coulson, it was as easy as breathing for you guys,” I replied, tightening my crossed arms.

“It got easier once we developed the right tech,” he said, coming to sit in the the chair directly across me, “But apparently you’d never heard of us until today ergo you didn’t know we were tracking you which begs the question…Who were you running from?”

“Wow,” I chuckled, “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” “I don’t like to waste time.” I snorted before giving him a once over. He wore an eyepatch, all jet black clothing complete with a matching trench coat. He looked the part of Man In Charge perfectly. “If you’re gonna ask me for my life story, I’m gonna need to know a little bit about you too.” “All you need to know about me right now is that I’m a man who sees potential in you.” “Potential?” “Potential.”

“That’s not what people typically see in me,” I narrowed my eyes and shook my head.

“No, they see a thief, a cheat, and I’m willing to bet,” the man leaned forward and put his arms on the table that separated us, “Somebody sees you as a threat.” Oh, if only he knew…

“If you’re a government agency then you already have a file on me, meaning that there’s not going to be much I have to say that you don’t already know,” I spoke up, making sure to continue matching the guy’s intense eye contact. 

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in concurrence before turning to the double sided glass window. It didn’t take more than five seconds before the door opened and Agent Coulson stepped through carrying a manila folder. He handed it to my questioner before disappearing through the doorway once again, I almost wished he would stay. He was the only person I knew at the moment.

“Looks like you’ve been all over,” the man observed as he flipped through the folder, “Gotten yourself into a lot of trouble and whenever someone catches you, poof! Like magic…”

I was excellent at hiding, but I knew when I was beat. As nice as leaving sounded, S.H.I.E.L.D knew too much about me for me to run.

“I don’t know,” I sighed, lowering my gaze to the table.

“Don’t know what?” “I don’t know who I’m running from,” I continued, “But they’re there. If I stay in one place for too long, someone breaks into whatever rusted shed I’m living in or ambushes me in the middle of a bazaar…Somebody wants me.” The man had stopped browsing my file and was intently watching me recount my story, “How long’ve you been on the run?” “Five years,” I explained, suddenly not comfortable with meeting him eye to eye  “I was fifteen, woke up in God knows where with no memory of how I got there. While I was wandering around trying to figure out where I was, a group of men tried to grab me. Fortunately for me,” my lips twisted into a smirk, “I can make a quick getaway.”

“You remember where you’re from?” I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes as I exhaled, “No. Any memories before I started living like this are…blurred. I can almost make out a few, mostly from when I was a kid, but I don’t remember any details about my life other than my name and my age. Got anything in your almighty folder that can fill in the gaps?” “We only know what you’ve told us and what you’ve chosen to shown the world,” he replied as he reopened the packet, “Looks like disappearing isn’t the only trick you’ve got up your sleeve.”

“A girl’s gotta defend herself somehow,” I cocked an eyebrow, by now I’d relaxed my rigid posture and was tracing shapes on the table with a finger, “But if you’ve done as much research as you say you have then you should know I don’t bring any of that out unless I absolutely have to.” “Oh, I’ve seen the security cam footage,” he laughed, folding his hands together in front of him, “You put on quite a show. That’s that potential I was talking about.”

After a beat of silence, I finally asked the million dollar question. “What is it that you want from me, Director Fury?”

He should’ve been surprised, most people were, but it didn’t seem like me digging around in his mind was more of an event than eating breakfast was. “Only when you absolutely have to, huh?”

I gave him a small shrug and waited for him to answer. He kept his eyes locked on me, nodding his head ever so slightly. “Miss Y/l/n, whether you’ve thought about it or not, you have the ability do a lot more with yourself than skipping out on the dinner bill. You could be out there stopping the kind of people that are after you instead of running from them. And if you weren’t interested in the prospect of that even just a little, you wouldn’t still be sitting here.” Now there he was right. I agreed to come with Agent Coulson, I willingly let them bring me into an interrogation room, I’d discussed vulnerable details of my life with Director Fury…There was a small part of me that wanted to be a part of something.

“You wanna keep bouncing between continents praying that you don’t get caught? That’s fine, it’s no skin off my back,” Director Fury held his hands up in mock surrender and promptly lowered them back down, “But you stay and you can be a part of a world bigger than you could possibly imagine.”

The only world I’d ever known was spinning a globe, picking a random location, finding the most remote part of the county, stealing what I needed to get by and living in abandoned houses. I’d never had any sense of security. And while the life that Director Fury was offering me gave no guarantee that I’d live long enough to grow old, it didn’t require me to stay as paranoid as I was in the name of survival. I’d gotten by just fine on my own, but I’d never allowed myself to think of a future where I didn’t have to just get by…

“I already told Agent Coulson that I’m not a mercenary,” I began firmly, “I’m not a weapon for you to utilize whenever you want. I’m not joining some super secret spy organization only to find out after a while that I’m working for the bad guys,” I paused to take a slow breath, “But I don’t particularly enjoy being a criminal and if what you’re saying is true, I’m willing to give it a shot.” Director Fury gave me a single nod and just like that, I’d accepted a job without actually committing to sticking around. Fury turned once again to the double sided mirror and the door swung open, ushering in Agent Coulson, a redheaded woman and a blonde man I had yet to meet.

“You’ve already met Agent Coulson, I’d like to introduce you to Agent Romanoff,” he gestured to the woman, “And Agent Barton,” he looked towards the blonde, “He and Coulson will be some of the senior personnel personally overseeing your transition into S.H.I.E.L.D and I have a hunch you and Miss Romanoff will work well together.” “I work just fine on my own, thank you,” I stated, the thought of trusting someone to have my back sent the walls I’d just lowered shooting back up.

“I hate to break it to you but we work as a team here,” Agent Romanoff said, her voice cool and unaffected by my displeasure. If anything, it seemed like she found it slightly amusing, “Besides, you don’t have anything to worry about. Agent Barton’s my partner.” 

Director Fury made for the door, Agent Romanoff and the still silent Agent Barton following promptly. “I’ll leave it to Coulson to get you settled, but I’ll be watching your progress closely.” I could give the man credit, he knew how to wear the whole Tall, Dark, Man-With-All-The-Secrets hat well except for one thing. He couldn’t keep any secrets from me. Once the room’s occupancy had lessened, my eyes flew to Agent Coulson.

“What’s the Avengers Initiative?”

He wore a small and knowing smile, “A work in progress. For now, let’s focus on getting you through training then we’ll work on finding you a partner.”

Standing up to follow him out the door, I protested against his checklist, “I already said-“ “I know, but there may come a time where you change your mind,” he interrupted, his tone had gone from professional to semi-friendly as we walked down the hall, “This job is rewarding, but it’s hard work. Having the right partner by your side makes it all a little easier. You’ll see…”

We approached a railing that overlooked the main floor of the headquarters. Coulson didn’t think twice about the view while I approached it curiously. There were people everywhere, more than I’d been around in a long time. Something about the sight of so many individuals dedicated to doing the right thing made something inside of me relax. Maybe for the first time in my life, I was right where I needed to be.

Agent Coulson must have sensed my peace, he came to stand beside me and turned his gaze to where mine was. “Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D.” 

--------

Translations: Jedan, molim: One, please.

Izvini: Sorry.

[carocane]

You Win My Love

Flufftober Day 1 - Winning a teddy for the other

@flufftober2021

911

Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Read on AO3 

The newly reopened pier glitters brightly in front of them, lit up with a million neon and twinkling lights as the sun goes down. There are people everywhere, riding the brand new Ferris Wheel and other rides and playing the definitely not rigged midway games, lured in by the promise of gaudy prizes and overly large stuffed animals. 

The rides are still a little daunting so the games are where Buck, Eddie and Christopher head first after a quick debate. Buck tries not to think about the last time he was here, about diving into one of the booths with Christopher in an attempt to keep the worst of the massive wave coming towards the pier at bay but can still vividly remember the water crashing around them. 

Of course his boyfriend knows the direction his thoughts have gone and Eddie squeezes his hand where it’s gripped tightly in his own. They had talked at length about coming back here and decided to give it a try. With the stipulation that they can leave at any time if it becomes too much for him or Christopher. 

Christopher seems to be ok, taking in all the sights and sounds swirling around him. Buck is so proud of the kid for being so resilient. They wander down the lane, looking at the different games available, searching for one they can beat. Christopher points further down the lane at a ring toss game and they make their way down excitedly.

Eddie steps up and pays the carnival guy for his turn at the game. 

“You think I can win you one of these prizes, kiddo?” Eddie asks his son.

“I think you should win Buck a prize instead, he’s your boyfriend” the kid responds with a big grin. 

“You sure you don’t want one, Chris?” Buck is quick to interject. Christopher should of course get everything his heart desires. 

“No, I’m getting too old for these. I think you need one, Buck.”

And who is Buck to argue with that?

“Ok, babe you heard your kid. Time to win me a prize” Buck says as he turns back to Eddie with a challenging look. 

“You got it, babe.  Just wait, you’re gonna get that prize.”

Buck and Christopher cheer Eddie on as he tosses the rings onto the platform, missing more bottles than he catches. The carnival worker calls out the loss and asks if they want to go again. Eddie takes a few (ok, more than a few) tries but eventually gives up, not even close to winning.

“Wow, you are bad at that. What about my prize? I thought you were gonna win me something and so far I am prizeless.” Buck teases as they walk away from the booth.

“That game was rigged.” Eddie protests. “Come on, let’s find something else. Something I can win this time. What do you think, Christopher? Where should we go next?”

Eddie and Buck are happy to let Christopher take charge and lead them around. They spend a few minutes just going between all the different games, trying to find one they like and spending a dollar or two here and there.

At the end of the lane is a dart game that Eddie makes a bee-line for when he spots it. “Now this I can do,” he claims with confidence. 

He only needs two tries to be proven right and claim a prize as promised. “See, I told you I would win. Pick a prize, any prize.” 

Buck looks at his choices, which are the usual carnival type things hanging around the booth. “Which one should I pick to take home with me?” he asks Christopher. The kid has good taste and Buck trusts him to choose something good.

Buck tries not to think of the giant teddy bear they won the last time they were here and can see Christopher quickly skip over those. No need for a permanent reminder of that day. Today is about good things and making new memories.

They both take a moment to really examine the other prizes while Eddie looks on patiently. There’s some quick back and forth with head shakes and nods before the perfect prize is settled on.

“That one” Chris says and points to an unnaturally orange orangutan with velcro keeping its hands together. The guy running the booth hands it over and Buck slips it around his neck like he’s giving it a piggy back ride as Christopher gives his approval.

“What about you, Eds? Should I win you a prize?” Buck asks. 

“Nah, I’m good. I’ve got all the prizes I need right here” Eddie responds as he gives Buck a light kiss and wraps an arm around Christopher. 

They wander around a bit then, taking in the sights and munching on junk food from the many food stalls. Buck and Eddie share a funnel cake while Christopher gets some cotton candy. The orangutan doesn’t get any snacks, much to Christopher’s dismay.

Now that they’re all full, they decide to ride some rides, which may come back to haunt them later but seems like a good idea now.

They all climb into a carriage on the ferris wheel and take their seats. Buck and Eddie try to sit next to each other but that has the cage tilting dangerously to one side so they rearrange. Christopher and Eddie are on one side now with Buck on the other.

“Why do I have to sit by myself?” Buck complains good naturedly.

“You’re not by yourself, you have your new orangutan friend to keep you company” Christopher points out. 

So Buck settles his prize next to him and leans back. He gets a bit lost in the sight of the water stretching in the distance and his two favorite people across from him. So lost, in fact that he doesn’t realize they’ve made the full rotation and are stopped at the bottom of the ride. He jumps out behind Christopher and Eddie, ready to head to the next stop.

Buck remembers his prize from Eddie after he’s gone a few steps from the ride and almost exited the area. He has to go back to rescue it, of course. 

Luckily, the next people in line haven’t gotten on yet due to the stuffed orangutan currently still sitting in one of the seats. Buck takes advantage of their confusion to push through and get his prize back with muttered apologies to the group.

Buck hurries back to the Diaz boys as they laugh at him for his forgetfulness. 

Later, after more rides and fair food and some memories made, Eddie carries Chris and Buck carries the prize Eddie won him fastened securely around his neck.

“Glad to see you didn’t lose that thing” Eddie teases his partner.

“You spent way too much on winning this, of course I’m not gonna lose it. I’m going to keep it forever to remind me of this perfect day.”

“Totally worth it for you, Baby” Eddie replies as they leave the pier and head for home.

[questersrest]

apologies for the just talking about junk lately but my brain’s on infodump o’clock. i really want to talk about dq9 grottoes and alchemiracles. so here’s a wall of text that’s been in the back of my brain for around 9 years.

i always thought this stuff was insane and i’m dying for a remake so i can get into this again.

so.

quest #015 collapsus’ call

at the summit of the heights of loneliness, you will find a man, christopher collapsus, who climbed all the way to the top but collapsed just short of zere rocks. you need to bring him a special medicine. as a reward he will give you your first treasure map: granite tunnel of woe lv. 1.

a treasure map will depict a red X drawn on part of a map, this will be one of several locations on the overworld but it’ll be fairly zoomed in so it might take some thinking to figure out where it is. when you stand in that location, a prompt to press A will appear and when you do, a cave entrance will appear. these caves are called grottoes. inside you’ll find several floors with monsters and chests and then a boss floor.

when you beat the boss they will drop another map. it’ll be random but influenced by 3 factors:

a) the level of the map just beaten.

b) the hero’s max level. the hero’s level is stored separate for each vocation so if you’ve hit level 99 as a minstrel but are currently a level 30 warrior, your max level is 99.

c) the hero’s max revocation. when the hero reaches level 99 as a vocation they can revocate, resetting that level to 1 and gaining a little +1 next to the level. my max revocations was a +3 on gladiator.

there are like over 32,000 maps with over 200 quality variations if i remember right, the exact total is over 8 million possibilities with these varying features:

a) it’s location on the world map.

b) it’s environment theme: ruins 40%, cave 30%, fire 10%, ice 10%, or water 10%

c) the number of floors before the boss floor: 2-16

d) the layout of each floor including the placement of any chests. if you’ve ever played a mystery dungeon game you know what to expect with randomly generated dungeons.

e) the starting monster rank of the grotto. monsters appear from a pool, there are 12 ranks and each environment has its own pool of monsters for each rank. the monster rank can only start at up to rank 9 but it increases every 4 floors so to find rank 12 monsters, you’ll need a grotto that starts on 9 and has at least 13 floors. many monsters in the higher ranks are exclusive to grottoes so if you want to complete your bestiary... well i never in 700+ hours found a water grotto with rank 12 monsters. monster rank on each floor also determines what ranks of chest can appear there. there are 10 ranks of chest. each weapon used for making the 5 star weapons has a 1% chance to be in a rank 10 chest. there’s one for each of the 12 weapon types. but even on a monster rank 12 floor it’s not guaranteed to have rank 10 chests. (chests by the way refresh when grotto is closed and reopened).

f) it’s boss, of which there are 12 possible. each boss is more difficult than the previous and so it is related to the map’s level, so dw, a level 1 map can’t have the final grotto boss, you won’t be ready for that.

there is some lore to the bosses. the goddess celestria, daughter of zenus (who was slain by corvus at the beginning of the story), said her father must still be alive in some capacity or the world would cease to be. every grotto boss has some dialogue before the battle commences. fowleye specifically explains that zenus shattered into 10 pieces which took form as the first 10 grotto bosses. the 11th is the demon that the supreme sage sealed in a book with himself long ago, the supreme sage, still in the book, is a character who gives you the quests related to the sage vocation. the 12th is greygnarl who was slain by barbarus in the story but at the end his shadow was shown hinting at his return. in his dialogue he talks about himself, barbarus, and styrmling who remains somewhat of a mystery. greygnarl actually drops an yggdrasil leaf instead of another map.

each boss has 3 items they can drop. a 100% drop: another treasure map. a (i actually can’t remember, i think it’s 5 or 10)% drop chance: a certain pretty good piece of gear. a 2% drop chance for a piece of armour used for 5 star armour. most armour categories can be split into multiple sub-categories e.g. handwear that focuses on defence or deftness so there’s one for each sub-category: 1 shield, 2 headwear, 2 handwear, 3 bodywear, 1 legwear, 2 footwear. each boss has a specific one e.g. the first grotto boss, equinox, has a 2% chance to drop the vesta gauntlets: defence handwear. greygnarl is an exception to the rules, i don’t remember all the specifics and can’t find details at this time but i do remember is his 100% drop is an yggdrasil leaf and one of his drops is a certain legacy boss map, i’ll get to that in a bit.

treasure map names are clues as to the details of the map before explored but usually don’t guarantee anything (except a few environments, if it says “waterway” it’s definitely water).

there are a few other weird factors for the probability for monsters appearing on floors resulting in the ruby path of doom map that got extremely popular to share in japan and got referenced in dq11s because of the one floor with nothing but metal king slimes. i myself found a grotto which had a floor with absolutely no monsters whatsoever, it did however have 2 chests on that floor, at least one of which was rank 10.

now say you get one of these special pieces of gear, how do you make the 5 star gear?

agates of evolution are items than can only be made through alchemy and are only used for alchemy. the ingredients are 2x ethereal stone, 2x sainted soma, 1x chronocrystal. ethereal stones and sainted somas can be obtained through a few means but the easiest is through further alchemy with the ingedients being available through monster drops and sparkles found in the world. chronocrystals can only be bought, there is an npc in a cave that can only be reached in the postgame the only thing he sells are chronocrystals for 50,000 gold each, the most expensive item in the game.

there are a few special treasure maps, legacy boss maps, that lead to a grotto that is only a boss floor, a boss from a previous game. we have: dragonlord, malroth, baramos, zoma, estark, psaro, nimzo, murdaw, mortamor, nokturnus, orgodemir, dhoulmagus, and rhapthorne. the first you’ll likely come across is baramos’ map lv. 1 as a quest reward. the one greygnarl drops is dragonlord’s. when you defeat a legacy boss, they will return and ask to gain experience too, if you agree the map will level up. as a legacy boss levels up, the drops will increase in chance or change entirely. be careful as some maps you can only get once unless shared from another player, you could lock yourself out from some items. the key things they drop are armour to dress up as heroes from the previous games and maps of other legacy bosses. some legacy bosses are only available from the dlc quests or dropped by other legacy bosses that are only available from the dlc quests and since the online service was discontinued in 2014 they are now almost unavailable (if you’re genuinely interested bc you missed out, shoot me an ask and i can explain that one).

then there’s the orbs. every legacy boss can drop one of six coulored orbs. as their rarest drop, this won’t change, the chance can just be increased with their level, the only exception is nokturnus who changes which orb he drops with his level. it’s the same 6 orbs that appeared as a plot device in dq3, alongside a 7th in dq8, and would go on to appear in dq11. all six orbs are thankfully available among the legacy bosses available without online services.

each of the special items can be alchemised with an agate of evolution and a certain orb to make an improved version that looks identical. e.g. 1x stardust sword + 1x agate of evolution + 1x silver orb makes a nebula sword. getting the ingredients is both expensive and time consuming BUT it goes further. 1x nebula sword + 3x agate of evolution + 3x silver orb will make a further improved and identical but still only 4 star supernova sword. most of the time. see when you try to make this further improved item, krak pot will alert you he feels an alchemiracle coming on. he will state a chance as i think 10%, 20%, or 30% which i think can be influenced but i’m afraid i don’t know the details. you are then forced to save the game with the result determined so you can’t reset and try again. if it should succeed, you will make a 5 star item, the best item of that kind in the game, a stronger palette swap of the other items. e.g. the hypernova sword.

should it fail and you want to try again, you can alchemise the failed alchemiracle item e.g. the supernova sword with a rest stone to return it to the first item e.g. the stardust sword. reset stones can be bought from the mini medal collector of dq9 once you can reached the final reward.

so here’s the procedure.

1. grind grottoes and their bosses for this stupid rare gear. 2% drop rate has nothing on shiny pokemon, sure, except you do have to go through the entire grotto again every time.

2. grind legacy bosses for orbs.

3. grind materials for agates including money for chronocrystals.

4. pray to the rng gods once more for an alchemiracle.

5. cry because you spent 100 hours on this and it didn’t work.

6. give in to cheating via rng abuse, the hoimi table’s out there still.

have fun

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 10/1/21: VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE, THE ADDAMS FAMILY II, THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK, TITANE, MAYDAY, THE JESUS MUSIC

Yeah, so I haven’t had the time over the past couple weeks to write a column, and I kind of hate that fact, especially since I’m coming up on a pretty major milestone for me writing a weekly box office column and reviewing movies. In fact, that milestone comes next week! And once again, I’m struggling to get through the movies I was hoping to watch and write about this week, because I’ve been out of town and once again, very busy over the weekend. Let’s see how far I get...

Before we get to this week’s wide releases, I’m excited to say that my local arthouse movie theater, The Metrograph, is finally reopening for in-person screenings, and they’re kicking things off with a 4k restoration of Andrez Zulawski’s 1981 thriller, Possession, starring Sam Neill and Isabell Adjani, who won a Best Actress prize at Cannes for her performance in the film. I actually saw this at the Metrograph a few years back, and Metrograph Pictures, the distribution arm of the company is now distributing the 4k restoration. There’s a lot of exciting things ahead at Metrograph, including an upcoming four-film Clint Eastwood retrospective, including White Hunter, Black Heart (1990) and A Perfect World (1991) this Friday. Also, Lingua Franca director Isabel Sandoval will be showing her fantastic film from 2020 (a rare chance to see it in a theater and I’ll be there!) as well as program a number of other favorites of hers. Sunday will have screenings of Ingmar Berman’s Scenes from a Marriage (1973) in its full four plus hour glory, Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park (1993) and John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness (1994).. In other words, the Metrograph is back!

Moving over to the weekend’s three wide releases, the first one up being Sony’s VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE (Sony Pictures) with Tom Hardy returning as Eddie Brock aka Venom, joined by Woody Harrelson as the psychotic symbiote, Carnage. Taking over the directing reins is Andy Serkis, who has only directed two other movies, Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle and Breathe, but as an actor, he’s been heavily involved with the CG VFX (and performance capture) needed to bring the characters in this Marvel anti-hero movie to life.

Venom has been one of Spider-Man’s most popular villains and sometimes allies for quite a few decades now, starting out life as a cool black costume Spider-Man found on a strange planet during the first “Secret Wars,” which turned out to be an alien symbiote that had malicious intentions. Spider-Man got the costume off of him but it then linked up with Eddie Brock, a sad-sack journalist whose emotions drove the alien symbiote to become the Venom we known and (mostly) love, thanks to one Todd McFarlane. Venom continued to play a large part in the Spider-Man books before getting his own comics, and not before a super-villain was created for him in Cletus Kasady, a vicious serial killer whose infection by the symbiote turns him into Carnage. And that’s who Harrelson is playing.

Being a sequel, we do have some basis to go on, although the original Venom movie, released in early October 2018, also arrived at a time when it was only the second time the character of Venom was brought to the big screen -- the first time being Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3, in which the character was received without much love as Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And yet, Venom did great, opening with $80.2 million and grossing $213 million domestically, which is more than enough to greenlight a sequel. (It made over double that amount overseas, too.) For comparison, the Wolverine prequel opened with $85 million but at the beginning of summer, so it quickly tailed away with other movies coming out after it. Venom: Let There Be Carnage has to worry about the new James Bond opening a week later, so it very likely could be a one-and-done, opening decently but quickly dropping down as other big movies are released in October (basically one a week).

I’ve already seen the movie, and by the time you read this, reviews will already be up --including my own at Below the Line. Social media reactions seem to not be so bad though, so maybe it’ll get better reviews than its predecessor, which was trashed by critics, receiving only a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But if you look at the fan ratings, they’re higher with 81%, although it’s hard not to be

I’m thinking that bearing COVID in mind and the law of depreciation since the previous movie, Venom: Let There Be Carnage will probably be good for around $50 million this weekend, maybe a little more, but however it’s received, I expect it to drop significantly next week, though a total domestic gross of $135 to 140 million seems reasonable.

Another strong sequel to kick off October is the animated THE ADDAMS FAMILY II (MGM), which is following up the 2019 hit for MGM/UA Releasing with most of the voice cast returning, including Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Finn Wolfhard, as well as Nick Kroll, Snoop Dogg, Martin Short, Catherine O’Hara, and Bette Midler voicing the popular characters from the New Yorker cartoons, a popular ‘60s TV series, and two Barry Sonnenfeld movies from the ‘90s.

The 2019 animated film was a pretty solid hit for the newly-launched UA Releasing, grossing $100 million domestic after a $30.3 million opening, making it one of MGM’s biggest hits since it was restructured under UA and became its own distributor again. Who knows what’s going to happen with Amazon’s plans on buying MGM and whether the latter will remain a distribution wing, but MGM still has a number of movies out this year that likely will be awards contenders. But that doesn’t mean much for The Addams Family II, which will try to get some of those people who paid to see the original movie in theaters back to see the sequel… and if they’re not going to theaters, MGM is once again offering the movie day-and-date on VOD much like they did with last year’s Bill and Ted Face the Music, which opened much earlier in the pandemic (late august, 2020), so it far fewer options to see it in theaters compared to this animated sequel.

It’s highly doubtful that The Addams Family II was going to open anywhere near to $30 million even if there wasn’t a pandemic, and it wasn’t on VOD just because MGM just doesn’t seem to be marketing the movie as well as its predecessor. You can blame COVID if you want, but it’s also the fact they’re distributing the company’s first James Bond movie in six years, No Time To Die, on their own vs. through another distributor, ala the last few Daniel Craig Bonds. But we’ll talk more about that next week, since that’s going to be an important movie to help cover MGM’s expenses for the rest of 2021. (I haven’t had a chance to see this yet, but it’s embargoed until Friday, so wouldn’t be able to get a review into the column regardless.)

We’ve seen quite a few family hits over the past few months even when the movies were already on streaming/VOD, but parents are probably being a bit more careful with kids back in school, many younger kids still not vaccinated, and the Delta variant still not quite under control. Because of those factors, I think The Addams Family II is more likely to do somewhere between $15 and 18 million its opening weekend, maybe more on the lower side.

Third up is THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK (New Line/WB), David Chase’s prequel to his hit HBO series, The Sopranos, which went off the air in 2004 but still finds fans on the new HBO Max streamer. Ironically, this prequel will air on the streamer at the same time as it's getting a theatrical release, which probably won't be a very tough choice for fans.

Chase has reunited with director Alan Taylor, who won a Primetime Emmy for his work on the show in 2007 before moving onto other popular shows like HBO's Game of Thrones. Taylor has had a bit of a rough career in film, though, having directed Marvel Studios’ sequel, Thor: The Dark World, a movie that wasn't received very well although there were rumors that Taylor butted heads with the producers and maybe didn't even finish the movie. He went on to direct Terminator Genesys, which honestly, I can't remember if it was the worst Terminator movie, but it was pretty bad.

What's interesting is that because this is a prequel set in the '70s and '80s, none of the actors from the show appear on it, but it does star Alessandro Nivola, a great actor in one of his meatiest roles for a studio movie. It also introduces Michael Gandolfini, son of the late James Gandolfini (who played Tony Soprano, if you didn't know), playing the teenage Tony, plus it has great roles for the likes of Jon Bernthal (as Tony's father), Vera Farmiga (playing Tony's mother), Corey Stoll (playing the younger "Junior” Soprano), and Lesile Odom Jr, as the Sopranos key adversary, even though he ends up coming across like the good guy of the movie. It also stars Billy Magnussen, who oddly, also has a key role in next week's No Time to Die.

I'm sure there's quite a bit of interest in seeing where Tony came from and to learn more about his family, many who were dead long before the events of the HBO show, but will that be enough to get them into theaters when they already have HBO? I already reviewed the movie for Below the Line, and reviews are generally positive, which might get people more interested in this prequel.

As with most of Warner Bros’ movies this year, Many Saints will also debut on HBO Max and unlike some of the studio’s other 2021 offerings, it will actually make more sense to watch this one on the streamer since that’s how most people watched The Sopranos. That seems like a killer for Many Saints, and it’s likely to keep it opening under $10 million, where it might have done better on a different weekend (like sometime over the last two weeks).

This is what I have this weekend’s top 10 looking like:

1. Venom: Let There Be Carnage (Sony) - $50.4 million N/A

2. The Addams Family II (MGM/UA Releasing) - $16.5 million N/A

3. The Many Saints of Newark (New Line/WB) - $9 million N/A

4. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $7.5 million -44%

5. Dear Evan Hansen (Universal) - $4.1 million -45%

6. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $3.3 million -30%

7. Jungle Cruise (Disney) - $1.1 million -35%

8. Candyman (Universal) - $1.3 million -48%

9. Cry Macho (Warner Bros.) - $1 million -52%

10. Malignant (Warner Bros.) - .7 million -53%

Opening in select cities is French filmmaker Julia (Raw) Ducournau’s TITANE (Neon), the genre thriller that won this year’s coveted Palme D’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. It stars Agathe Rouselle as a young woman who has an interesting relationship with automobiles, but she also has psychotic tendencies that leaves a trail of bodies behind her. On the run, she decides to pretend she’s the missing son of a fireman (Vincent Lindon), who has been missing for 10 years, and things just get weirder from there.

I honestly wasen’t sure what to expect from this although I do remember walking out of Ducournau’s cannibal movie, Raw, just because it was so gross, even though so many of my colleagues and friends swear by the movie, and this one, for that matter. Sure, there’s a certain “prove it” factor to me watching a movie that wins the Palme D’Or, because it’s very rare that I like the movies that do win that benchmark cinema award.

After a flashback to Agathe’s character Alexia when she was an obstinate young girl kicking the back seat of her father as he’s driving. They crash and she’s forced to get surgery that puts an odd looking piece of metal in her head. Decades later, she seems to be a pseudo-stripper at weird punk rock car show -- I guess they do those things different in France -- and hooking up with a fellow “model” afterwards. Agathe is actually a very popular model/dancer but when one fan gets too grabby, she pulls a knitting needle out of her hair and stabs it through his ear, killing him. Oh, yeah, she then has sex with a car and seemingly gets pregnant, but that only happens later. First, she goes on a bit of a killing spree and then goes on a run and decides that by strapping up her breasts and breaking her nose, she can pass off this fire captain’s son… and it works!

So the second half deals with acting great Vincent Lindon’s absolutely bonkers steroid-addicted man who seems to be sexually attracted to his own son, and most of his fellow firefighters knows that he’s gay but in the closet, but I’m honestly not sure what that matters. He’s a pretty disgusting character whose 70-year-old ass we see way too much of, and even those who might find Rouselle to be quite fetching, there’s a certain point where her nudity is not alluring but quite horrifying.

Oh, and at this time, Alexia (or Adrien, as she’s now going) has also gotten significantly pregnant, but it’s not a normal pregnancy because what should be milk from her breasts seems to some sort of motor oil. That’s because she FUCKED A CAR earlier in the movie!!! What do you expect when you fuck a car and don’t use protection, girlie? The fact Alexia/Adrien is trying to hide the fact she’s a pregnant woman from a station full of men isn’t even particularly disturbing. The part that really got me was when she broke her own nose to pass off as this guy’s son -- I actually had to look away for that part.

Listen I’m no prude, and I think I can handle most things in terms of horror and gore, but Titane just annoyed me, because it felt like Ms Ducournau was doing a lot of what we see more for shock value than to actually drive the story forward. There just doesn’t seem to be much point to any of it, and once the movie gets to the firehouse, and we see her interaction (as a young man) with her “father” and his colleagues, it just gets more grueling.

It’s as if Ducournau had watched a lot of movies by the likes of Cronenberg or David Lynch, or more likely Nicolas Refn or Lars von Trier, and thought, “I could be just as strange and horrific as those men… let’s see what people think of this.” And way too many people fell for it, including the Cannes jury. While I normally would approve of any good body horror movie, especially one with cinematography, score and musical selections as good as this one, I doubt I’d ever want to watch this movie again. And therefore, I don’t think I can recommend this movie to anyone either, at least no one I want to remain my friend.

As far as the movie’s box office, NEON is opening the movie in 562 theaters to build on buzz from various film festivals, including the New York Film Festival earlier this week. I think it should be good for half a million this weekend, although maybe it'll surprise me like NEON's release of Parasite a few years back. I just don't see this getting into the top 10 but maybe just outside it.

And then we have a few more movies that I got screeners for but just couldn’t find the time to watch, but might do so once I finish this verdammt column.

The faith-based doc THE JESUS MUSIC (Lionsgate) by the Erwin Brothers (I Can Only Imagine, I Still Believe) takes a look at the rise of Christian Contemporary Music through artists like Amy Grant and Stryper and everything in between, featuring lots of interviews of the artists’ trials and triumphs. Even though there isn’t much CCM I ever listen to, I’m still kind of curious about this one, since I generally like music docs and this is guaranteed not to be the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll of most of them. I have no idea how wide Lionsgate intends to release this but it certainly can be fairly wide, because the Erwins have delivered at least one giant hit for Lionsgate, and I Still Believe may have been another one if not for the pandemic. It actually opened on March 13, just days before movie theaters shut down across the country, so it's little surprise it only made $7 million domestic. That said, the acts in this one have a lot of fans, and if Lionsgate does release The Jesus Music into 1,000 theaters or so (which is very doable), then I would expect it would make between $1 and 2 million, which would be enough to break into the Top 10.

I haven't seen any of the movies based on Anna Todd's YA romance novels but the third of them, AFTER WE FELL, will play in about 1,311 theaters on Thursday i.e. tonight through Fathom Events, and may or may not continue through the weekend. These movies just kind of show up, and again, having not seen any of them, I'm not sure what kind of audience they have, but this one stars Josephine Langford and Hero Fiennes, as well as Stephen Moyer, Mira Sorvino and Arielle Kebbel with Castille Landon directing.

Grace Van Patten (Under the Silver Lake) stars in Karen Cinorre’s action-fantasy film MAYDAY (Magnolia), playing Ana, a young woman who is transported to a “dreamlike and dangerous” coastline where she joins a female army in a never-ending war where women lure men to their deaths. It also stars Mia Goth, Havana Rose Liu, Soko, Théodore Pellerin and Juliette Lewis. It will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday.

The great Tim Blake Nelson stars in Potsy Ponciroli’s action-Western OLD HENRY (Shout! Studios/Hideout) about a widowed farmer and son who take in an injured man with a satchel full of cash only to have to fend off a posse who come after the man, claiming to be the law. Not sure who to trust, the farmer has to use his gun skills to defend his home and the stranger.

The romantic-comedy FALLING FOR FIGARO (IFC Films) is the new movie from Australian filmmaker Ben Lewin (The Sessions), who I’ve interviewed a few times, and he’s a really nice chap. This one stars Danielle Macdonald, Hugh Skinner, and Joanna Lumley, and it will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday. This rom-com is set in the world of opera singing competitions with Macdonald playing Millie, a brilliant young fund manager who decides to chase her dream of being an opera singer in the Scottish Highlands. She begins vocal training lessons with a former opera diva, played by Lumley, where she meets Max, a young man also training for that competition. Could love blossom? This actually sounds like my kind of movie, so I’ll definitely try to watch soon.

The second season of “Welcome to Blumhouse” the horror movie anthology kicks off on Amazon Prime Video on Friday with the first two movies, Maritte Lee Go’s Black as Night (which I’ve seen) and Gigi Saul Guerrero’s Bingo Night (which I haven’t), and actually I’ll have an interview with Ms. Go over at Below the Line possibly later this week. The former stars Ashja Cooper as a teen girl living in Louisiana who has a bad experience with homeless vampires, along with her best friend (Fabrizio Guido).

Also, Antoine Fuqua and Jake Gyllenhaal’s remake of the Danish film THE GUILTY will begin streaming on Netflix starting Friday after premiering at TIFF a few weeks back. I never got around to reviewing it, but it’s pretty good, maybe a little better than the original movie but essentially the same. I’d definitely recommend it if you like Jake, because he’s definitely terrific in it.

Also hitting Netflix this week is Juana Macias' SOUNDS LIKE LOVE (Netflix), a Spanish language romance movie that (guess) I haven't seen!

A few other movies I didn’t get to this week, include:

STOP AND GO (Decal) VAL (Dread) BLUSH (UA Releasing) RUNT (1091 Pictures)

Next week, it’s not time for James Bond, it’s time for James Bond to die… no, wait… there is NO TIME TO DIE! Also, a very, very special anniversary for the Weekend Warrior….

[chibi-chanforever]

𝕌𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕝 𝕕𝕠𝕠𝕞𝕤𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕤 || 𝟙 ||

Pairing: Kozume Kenma x Fem! Reader

Summary : Your world was awfully small. It was a simple puzzle and the biggest piece belonged to this one person named Kuroo Tetsuro. However, as time passes Kuroo’s puzzle gains another important piece and in your anxiety to not lose him to someone else you decide to add that piece to your life as well. So you're introduced to Kozume Kenma, who you only saw as a package deal that comes with ‘Tetsu’ . As the years passed feelings changed, what once was childish adoration bloomed into the flower of youthful affection. What you didn’t realise is that in order to protect your flower that grew for Kuroo, you began plucking petals off the flower that bloomed for you.

Wordcount : 1.4 k

Warnings: Family breakdown

A/N:

f/c- favorite cartoon

Chichai- little (pronounced>like a 5 year old kid saying wittle)

Special thanks to ssrated1volleyballplayer ヽ(^ 。^)/, NewFriendJen>.< and vanillekiss <3 for beta reading!

||prologue||

  ‘Huh? Why did I want Testu to love me?’

  This blatant thought brought you out of the trance you’ve been stuck in ever since your friends spoke about the ‘husband’ topic. ‘EW! Love is gross! I hate love!’

  According to you, nothing good came out of love. At that tender age, love was something you didn't quite understand and you had little knowledge about the subject. You knew your mom loved you, you knew your dad loved you too! You also knew that they loved each other... but in the end what was the result? You were alone; You were left behind by both of them, and now, you were living with your grandparents, trying your best to fit in this new area.

  After your dad had left, the first three months were horrible. Your mom had gotten really quiet, she would burst into tears at odd times and spent hours staring at the wall? And after three months your mom had left you at her parents house saying that you reminded her too much of him and it hurt her too much.

  *＊✿❀ You distinctly remember what happened; You had come down to drink water and had almost entered the kitchen, but was stopped short when you heard your mother’s voice. It was clear that she had been crying and the way her words were slurred, you assumed she had been drinking too.

  You could hear that she was talking to someone on the phone; you took a step forward to go and hug your mom, to tell her that you love her, that everything was going to be alright. However, her next words left you lifeless; You stood there paralyzed as your mom’s extremely broken voice felt like sharp shards of glass piercing your ears. You felt like your ears would bleed when you heard her.

  “I can't take it anymore mom! I can’t bear to look at her. It hurts so much mom… AHHH it just hurts so much, I want to di-” You made a run for it, you didn’t think you could stomach any further than this. You went to your bedroom, hid under the sheets and kept reiterating,

  “This is a dream! This is a dream! This has to be a bad dream! This is a dream”

  What happened after that was very fuzzy, you felt numb. You couldn’t remember much, but when you came back to your senses, your mom was waving at you; your grandma was holding your hand, waving to your mom for you.

  You saw delicate tears fall and drip down your mom’s chin , ‘why was she crying?’ You wondered, already unnerved by what was happening. Your legs began to move before you realised, you ran towards your mom, hugging her knees and begging her to take you with her.

  “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME?” You screamed.

  “I’m not leaving you honey! I’ll come to see you on the weekends! Mommy just needs some time sweetheart.” She said, while simultaneously trying to pry your little hands off her leg.

  You still wouldn’t let go of her leg and kept pleading, “I’ll be a good girl! I won’t trouble you mommy! Please! Don’t go because you hate me! I swear I’ll listen! ”

  “Oh sweetheart, Mommy’s not leaving because she hates you,” and then she uttered those horrible words.

  “It's because I love you Y/N” ❀✿＊*

  ‘Does love mean that you leave the person you love behind? Then no! I absolutely do not love Tetsu and I don’t want Tetsu to love me either. I will never leave Tetsu behind! Even if it means I will never love him…..but why does it hurt? Why does it feel like loving Tetsu is what I am supposed to do? But no! I can't ever leave him, not now, not ever.’

  You cherished Tetsu and under no circumstances, ever wanted to lose him. After years, you had finally found some stability in your life and you weren’t ready to give that up, not in a million years, come what may! You would fight an army if you had to!

  ‘Tetsu won’t leave me if I don’t love him right? Thats easy, I'll just stick by him and be the perfect friend, forever and ever,’ But somewhere deep down, you knew this was wrong; Things would change, they always do. However you weren’t ready to accept it just yet.

  Meanwhile Kuroo had found a new interest. His life had gone ahead and started to diverge into a new path, while you were desperately trying to protect yours from breaking down. Little did you know that Kuroo was going to open a new world for you, after horribly breaking down your old one.

  ⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰

  It's been about a year now, since you’ve known Kuroo.

  Nothing has changed much really; He was still the same old goofy guy you used to and still continue to adore. However, recently it has come to your attention that Kuroo has started to spend a lot of time practicing something called volleyball? This resulted in the time he spent with you to diminish slowly as days passed by.

  “Testu do you want to watch f/c today?” You would ask.

  “Next time! I gotta go play volleyball” Was what you’d get. Wanna go to the garden? Gotta play volleyball! Wanna hang out after school? Gotta play volleyball! Wanna go see the new comic collection at the store? Sorry I Gotta. Play. Volleyball.

  This new discovery was eating at you, and you felt like Kuroo was making up an excuse to not hang out with you. Whenever you asked him about volleyball, his eyes would light up like stars in the velvety night sky, but he wouldn’t really give you much details about it, besides the fact that it's super awesome.

  Whenever he spoke about volleyball, it frequently went like “The ball came at me and I spiked so hard, and it went like voosh! And it was so awesome! You know I’m quite tall for my age right, so I can block the ball really well. And you know, you know...” And it went on and on and on without any real information on how the game is actually played.

  And suddenly, you remember that you heard a name. ‘Shit I wasn’t paying attention, I blanked for one second and I missed out! What did he say? Whose name did he take? Ke? Ke- something! GOD, why didn’t I pay attention. He’s gone too ahead now and I can't even ask him or he’ll whine that I never listen to him! This is so frustrating! Ugh!’

  In the end, all you knew was that he didn’t play alone, which meant that he was spending his time with someone else more, and this unconsciously made you anxious. Your mind was running a million miles per minute with thoughts like,

  ‘Soon Tetsu will stop hanging out with me, he’ll never want to see me again, he’ll forget about me, he’ll realise how much of a disappointment I really am!’ Your mind kept on creating more of such thoughts that brought all your fears to life.

  These thoughts started getting darker and darker by each passing second, festering and reopening closed wounds. No! You couldn’t go down that road again, you had to do something!

  The next day, you got up extra early, ready to execute the strategy on which you spent more than half the night planning. Going over the steps and possibilities over and over, until you were determined that it would work. So you walked up to Kuroo, “ Hey Tetsu~” You sang out, “Hey chichai” he says smugly, fully aware of how annoyed you get with the name.

  “I told you to stop calling me that!” You whine, your face which was now dusted with a pink hue, was facing away from Kuroo to hide how flustered you got when he called you such names.

  ‘I can’t get distracted! Not now at least! I have to do it, it’s now or never. Deep breaths y/n, you can do this! It’s just one question, c’mon’ You sigh before looking at Kuroo, your face still slightly pink. Kuroo looked at you with a worried expression, “ y/n are you feeling-” He gets cut of by your question,

  "𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑰 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝒀 𝑽𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑬𝒀𝑩𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼?~"

THANK YOU FOR READING!

Taglists are open!

Requests are open!

@mysh @animefandomally

[arcticdementor]

I love NYC. When I first moved to NYC it was a dream come true. Every corner was like a theater production happening right in front of me. So much personality, so many stories.

Every subculture I loved was in NYC. I could play chess all day and night. I could go to comedy clubs. I could start any type of business. I could meet people. I had family, friends, opportunities. No matter what happened to me, NYC was a net I could fall back on and bounce back up.

Now it's completely dead. "But NYC always always bounces back." No. Not this time. "But NYC is the center of the financial universe. Opportunities will flourish here again." Not this time.

"NYC has experienced worse". No it hasn't.

…

Three of the most important reasons to move to NYC:

- business opportunities

- culture

- food

…

Midtown Manhattan, the center of business in NYC, is empty. Even though people can go back to work, famous office buildings like the Time Life skyscraper is still 90% empty. Businesses realized that they don't need their employees at the office.

In fact, they realize they are even more productive without everyone back to the office. The Time Life building can handle 8,000 workers. Now it maybe has 500 workers back.

…

"What do you mean?" a friend of mine said to me when I told him 'Midtown should be called 'Ghost Town', "I'm in my office right now!"

"What are you doing there?"

"Packing up," he said and laughed, "I'm shutting it down." He works in the entertainment business.

Another friend of mine works at a major investment bank as a managing director. Before the pandemic he was at the office every day, sometimes working from 6am to 10pm.

Now he lives in Phoenix, Arizona. "As of June," he told me, "I had never even been to Phoenix." And then he moved there. He does all his meetings on Zoom.

I was talking to a book editor who has been out of the city since early March. "We've been all working fine. I'm not sure why we would need to go back to the office."

One friend of mine, Derek Halpern, was convinced he'd stay. He put up a Facebook post the other day saying he might be changing his mind.

…

People say, "NYC has been through worse" or "NYC has always come back."

No and no.

First, when has NYC been through worse?

Even in the 1970s, and through the 80s, when NYC was going bankrupt, and even when it was the crime capital of the US or close to it, it was still the capital of the business world (meaning: it was the primary place young people would go to build wealth and find opportunity), it was culturally on top of its game - home to artists, theater, media, advertising, publishing, and it was probably the food capital of the US.

…

In early March, many people (not me), left NYC when they felt it would provide safety from the virus and they no longer needed to go to work and all the restaurants were closed. People figured, "I'll get out for a month or two and then come back."

They are all still gone.

And then in June, during rioting and looting a second wave of NYC-ers (this time me) left. I have kids. Nothing was wrong with the protests but I was a little nervous when I saw videos of rioters after curfew trying to break into my building.

…

…

Summary: Businesses are remote and they aren't returning to the office. And it's a death spiral: the longer offices remain empty, the longer they will remain empty.

In 2005, a hedge fund manager was visiting my office and said, "In Manhattan you practically trip over opportunities in the street."

Now the streets are empty.

…

I co-own a comedy club, Standup NY, on 78th and Broadway. I'm very very proud of the club and grateful to my fellow owners Dani Zoldan and Gabe Waldman and our manager Jon Boreamayo. It's a great club. It's been around since 1986 and before that it was a theater.

One time, Henry Winkler stopped by to come on my podcast. He was the one who told me it had been a theater.

He said, "I grew up two doors down from here and used to perform in here as a kid. Then I went out to LA to be the Fonz and now I'm back here, full circle, to be on your podcast. This place has history." Things like that happen in NYC.

…

I love the club. Before the pandemic I would perform there throughout the week in addition to many other clubs around the city and in the past few months, clubs in: Chicago, Denver, San Jose, LA, Cincinnati, all over the Netherlands, and other places.

I miss it.

…

That said, we have no idea when we will open. Nobody has any idea. And the longer we close, the less chance we will ever reopen profitably.

Broadway is closed until at least the Spring. Lincoln Center is closed. All the museums are closed.

Forget about the tens of thousands of jobs lost in these cultural centers. Forget even about the millions of dollars of tourist and tourist-generated revenues lost by the closing of these centers.

There are thousands of performers, producers, artists, and the entire ecosystem of art, theater, production, curation, that surrounds these cultural centers. People who have worked all of their lives for the right to be able to perform even once on Broadway whose lives and careers have been put on hold.

I get it. There was a pandemic.

But the question now is: what happens next? And, given the uncertainty (since there is no known answer), and given the fact that people, cities, economies, loathe uncertainty, we simply don't know the answer and that's a bad thing for New York City.

…

My favorite restaurant is closed for good. Ok, let's go to my second favorite. Closed for good. Third favorite, closed for good.

I thought the PPP was supposed to help. No? What about emergency relief? No. Stimulus checks? Unemployment? No and no. Ok, my fourth favorite, or what about that place I always ordered delivery from? No and no.

Around Late May I took walks and saw that many places were boarded up. Ok, I thought, because the protesting was leading to looting and the restaurants were protecting themselves. They'll be ok.

Looking closer I'd see the signs. For Lease. For Rent. For whatever.

Before the pandemic, the average restaurant had only 16 days of cash on hand. Some had more (McDonalds), and some had less (the local mom-and-pop Greek diner).

Yelp estimates that 60% of restaurants around the United States have closed.

My guess is more than 60% will be closed in New York City but who knows.

Someone said to me, "Well, people will want to come in now and start their own restaurants! There is less competition."

I don't think you understand how restaurants work.

…

If the restaurants are no longer clustered, fewer people go out to eat (they are on the fence about where so they elect to stay home). Restaurants breed more restaurants.

And again, what happens to all the employees who work at these restaurants? They are gone. They left New York City. Where did they go? I know a lot of people who went to Maine, Vermont, Tennessee, upstate, Indiana, etc - back to live with their parents or live with friends or live cheaper. They are gone and gone for good.

And what person wakes up today and says, "I can't wait to set up a pizza place in the location where 100,000 other pizza places just closed down." People are going to wait awhile and see. They want to make sure the virus is gone, or there's a vaccine, or there's a profitable business model.

Or...even worse.

…

If building owners and landlords lose their prime tenants (the store fronts on the bottom floor, the offices on the middle floors, the well-to-do on the top floors, etc) then they go out of business.

And what happens when they go out of business?

Nothing actually. And that's the bad news.

People who would have rented or bought say, "Hmmm, everyone is saying NYC is heading back to the 1970s, so even though prices might be 50% lower than they were a year ago, I think I will wait a bit more. Better safe than sorry!"

And then with everyone waiting... prices go down. So people see prices go down and they say, "Good thing I waited. But what happens if I wait even more!" And they wait and then prices go down more.

This is called a deflationary spiral. People wait. Prices go down. Nobody really wins. Because the landlords or owners go broke. Less money gets spent on the city. Nobody moves in so there is no motion in the markets. And people already owning in the area and can afford to hang on, have to wait longer for a return of restaurants, services, etc that they were used to.

Well, will prices go down low enough everyone buys?

Answer: Maybe. Maybe not. Some people can afford to hang on but not afford to sell. So they wait. Other people will go bankrupt and there will be litigation, which creates other problems for real estate in the area. And the big borrowers and lenders may need a bailout of some sort or face mass bankruptcy. Who knows what will happen?

…

I lived three blocks from Ground Zero on 9/11. Downtown, where I lived, was destroyed, but it came roaring back within two years. Such sadness and hardship and then quickly that area became the most attractive area in New York.

And in 2008/2009, much suffering during the Great Recession, again much hardship, but things came roaring back.

But...this time it's different. You're never supposed to say that but this time it's true. If you believe this time is no different, that NYC is resilient, etc I hope you're right.

I don't benefit from saying any of this. I love NYC. I was born there. I've lived there forever. I STILL live there. I love everything about NYC. I want 2019 back.

But this time it's different.

One reason: bandwidth.

In 2008, average bandwidth speeds were 3 megabits per second. That's not enough for a Zoom meeting with reliable video quality. Now, it's over 20 megabits per second. That's more than enough for high quality video.

There's a before and after. BEFORE: no remote work. AFTER: everyone can remote work.

…

Everyone has spent the past five months adapting to a new lifestyle. Nobody wants to fly across the country for a two hour meeting when you can do it just as well on Zoom. I can go see "live comedy" on Zoom. I can take classes from the best teachers in the world for almost free online as opposed to paying $70,000 a year for a limited number of teachers who may or may not be good.

Everyone has choices now. You can live in the music capital of Nashville, you can live in the "next Silicon Valley" of Austin. You can live in your hometown in the middle of wherever. And you can be just as productive, make the same salary, have higher quality of life with a cheaper cost to live.

…

Wait for events and conferences and even meetings and maybe even office spaces to start happening in virtual realities once everyone is spread out from midtown Manhattan to all over the country.

The quality of restaurants will start to go up in all the second and then third tier cities as talent and skill flow to the places that can quickly make use of them.

Ditto for cultural events.

And then people will ask, "wait a second - I was paying over 16% in state and city taxes and these other states and cities have little to no taxes? And I don't have to deal with all the other headaches of NYC?"

Because there are headaches in NYC. Lots of them. It's just we sweep them under the table because so much else has been good there.

NYC has a $9 billion deficit. A billion more than the Mayor thought they were going to have. How does a city pay back its debts? The main way is aid from the state. But the state deficit just went bonkers. Then is taxes. But if 900,000 estimated jobs are lost in NYC and tens of thousands of businesses, then that means less taxes unless taxes are raised.

…

What reason will people have to go back to NYC? 

[miss-tc-nova]

My Hero - Katsuki Bakugo x Reader

Well...Gonna dabble in something outside of my usual KH. I love so many of the characters, I hope to write more in the future. 

Music inspiration: Dangerously by Charlie Puth

~~~~~

              By the hand, I lead my guest up the steps towards the daunting throne. Her grip holds tight, nervous and afraid. I can understand that sentiment, feeling the anxiety bubble in my own chest. This is my zenith, the epitome of my years of careful planning. This will be the end.

              She takes a seat and the metal crown lowers, fitting carefully around the extremity she’s been fostering for years now. Once it’s in place, I take another look, noticing the fidgeting in her fingers.

              “Would you rather we postpone tonight?” I ask, genuinely concerned. I’m honestly just as nervous as she is; for all I know, my fear might’ve prevented me from moving forward tonight, so I put my emotions aside and follow her lead.

              “No.” In her single word, she’s confident; despite the tremor in her voice, she’s determined to see this through. “Whether it’s now or later makes no difference. This is the best choice for humanity.”

              A soft smile tugs at my lips. “You’re a true hero.” I attach a pair of cuffs to her wrists. “We’re almost done. Let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”

              “Yes.” There’s a pause. “How does this work again?”

              I step back to examine my work. “This machine will amplify both our quirks, allowing us to reach the entire world. Still sound like a plan?”

              She nods, silent in her sullen steadfastness.

              With my guest ready, I make my way towards the control panel nearby and begin making my final preparations.

              I’ve spent so long preparing for this exact moment. A storm of pride, anxiety, and anticipation swirl in my chest. I could scream to the whole world right now, but I must wait until the end to celebrate. I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here; blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my ambition—and I’ve given perhaps more than I should have.

              I can’t dwell on that thought; there’s no going back no. I made my choices and it’s too late to regret them.

              The room shudders.

              Tearing my attention from the panel, I look to the door at the far end of the room. A second rumble shakes the walls, even from its distant origin. There’s no mistaking what that is.

              Now on borrowed time, I pick up the pace, terrified of the fact I have no chance to double check my work.

              “What’s going on?” she asks, clearly uneasy in her vulnerable position.

              I don’t want to worry her but I can’t lie—honesty is the only reason she’s put her faith in me.

              “He’s here.”

              My hands race across the board, though I must admit that his known presence slows me down. It takes everything in me not to panic or slip up, but I’m simply not fast enough.

              He arrives.

              The door bursts open like a pressurized can. A furious predator—he steps into the room. Those molten ruby eyes instantly find me, subjecting me to that vicious snarl he wields. Only I know him well enough to see the veiled panic in that expression.

              “Hands up!”

              I lift my hands. Careful cooperation is my best move here. The hero holds all the power; nothing would save me if he decided to end me here. I have no henchmen, no allies, no back up; everything hinged on the secrecy I let slip somewhere. Now it all hinges on ragged memories.

              “Step away from the controls!”

              His name slips from my lips. “Katsuki…”

              “Shut up! It’s Dynamite to you!” he snaps. “Now get down here before I blow this whole place to hell!”

              “Wait. Please, just listen.”

              “No!”

              “I-”

              “I SAID NO!”

              Another blast destroys a wall of unused equipment. With all the authority granted to him by his title and power, he points at me.

              “I have no mercy for villains—especially you! Not after you left!”

              “Let me explain.”

              “You had your chance to explain and you chose not to. You disappeared without a word—no text, no note, nothing. And then you show up five years later on my fucking criminal report?! Stealing machinery and kidnapping people?!”

              My teeth clench. Katsuki has every right to be angry at me after how I left.

              “I would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve given up being a hero for you!” That hurts like a slap across the face. “And you just left. You left me to become a villain! Did you even care about me?!”

              “Yes!” My answer couldn’t leave my mouth faster. “Yes, I loved you; so much that it still terrifies me. I never wanted to leave you, but I had to. We wanted very different things, Katsuki.”

              “You could’ve talked to me. We could’ve worked something out.”

              “Your dream was to be the number one hero and I didn’t see you giving up that dream any time soon.” I gesture to him. “And look where you are now—standing at the top as the most powerful hero in Japan. But I never wanted anything to do with your world of heroes and villains.”

              “I knew that,” he snaps. “I know that you hate heroes but I made a promise! You didn’t think I could keep my word?!”

              “We were fifteen. We were naïve and you made a promise you didn’t understand.”

              “Bullshit I didn’t understand!”

              “Then you would keep it even now?”

              His scowl falters. This is my gambit—my only hope in stalling my failure—but it comes at the price of opening old wounds.

              My sight blurring, I demand, “Even in the face of everything I’ve done, you would keep that promise?”

~~~~~

              “Katsuki, stop!”

              Against my wishes, he bites harder. A yelp escapes me, finally convincing the young man to release me.

              With a self-satisfied smirk, he wipes away the saliva dripping from his mouth. I glare, dragging a sleeve against my neck.

              “You’re so mean.”

              His hand takes my chin, forcing our faces only inches apart. Dark allure fills his voice and he says, “No, I’m possessive. You should know that by now.”

              That simper nearly has me taking the bait, but I want to play this game. “You’re lucky my shirt collar will cover it up.”

              “Oh yeah?” Bringing his face closer, grazing my lips with his soft, smooth ones nearly causes me to cave. “I can change that.”

              “Don’t you dare.”

              “Or what?”

              I want to give, to feel his lips against my skin again, but I also want to win. Hands against his chest, I push him back. What I didn’t realize was that his bed was directly behind him and he pulls me down on top of him. I make my escape, sitting up to frown at the young man. He flashes another grin, one far rarer, with sincerity and softness—one just for me. He’s rough and stubborn and sometimes mean, but he’s everything I love.

              And that’s a problem.

              “Okay. Sheesh. I’m sorry.” His thumb presses between my eyes, smoothing out the scorn. “Just stop making that face.”

              Letting my eyes flutter shut, I soak in the feeling of his palm against my cheek. A soothing serenity rolls through me, giving me all the comfort I never had before. I lived in fear my whole life, but Katsuki could make it all melt away with a single touch—forgotten but not gone.

              A jolt of icy guilt settles in my stomach. There was a reason the make-out was so heated.

              I reopen my eyes to stare at him.

              All that softness vanishes. “Don’t give me that look.”

              “We can’t avoid this conversation forever,” I say, slipping to the side.

              With a huff, he sits up. “I don’t understand what the big deal is. So what if I want to be a hero. Why should that have anything to do with us?” My gaze drags away, however, a firm hand pulls it back. His eyes are hard and determined. “If I can’t avoid the conversation, you can’t either. So spill it; what’s the problem?”

              Pulling back, I take a moment to focus my thoughts. Katsuki and I met by chance, literally stumbling into each other on the street. Due to the nature of the bad day, I broke down, but I guess that abrupt act is what earned his pity. He sat with me until I could calm down. We passed by each other a few more times before he eventually asked me on a date. I fell hard, becoming entirely infatuated. But of all the things we spoke about, our prospective careers were not one of them until today.

              “My parents died during a fight between a hero and a villain.”

              When there’s no response, I peer up at him. He stares as if trying to understand. I probably should’ve kept my silence, but it’s out now.

              “The small town was practically leveled when they were done, including the shop my parents were in. And I was at home watching cartoons when the news came on. I got the worst phone call of my life that day.”

              “That must’ve been one tough villain.”

              Katsuki’s never been great with his emotions, that I understand; so, dealing with my baggage must be incredibly awkward for him. What I don’t get, though, is how blind he is.

              “The hero did just as much damage as the villain.”

              “Come on. Part of the job is to protect people. I bet-”

              Interrupting his defense, I meet his gaze with a hard glare. “It was the hero that killed my parents.”

              Unfazed, he replies, “So that’s it? You think all heroes are gonna do that?”

              “Can you promise me they’re not?” I’ve cried over this many times before, but that hit of resentment never hit quite this hard. “He destroyed my entire town—killed half the people that lived there! And do you know what happened to him?!” He waits for me to answer my own question, an uncomfortable scowl on his face. “Nothing! That fucker got off scot free with a slap on the wrist! My family, my neighbors, and friends! They meant nothing but a slap on the wrist!”

              Those warm palms are at my face again. “Hey, calm down.”

              Tearing away, I know I’m long gone. “What kind of society is willing to destroy thousands, maybe millions of people just for the sake of some hero’s shit reputation! How is that fair to the people who are dead?! How is that fair to my neighbor’s elderly mother with no one to take care of her?! How is that fair to the guy engaged to my friend’s sister?! HOW IS THAT FAIR TO ME?!”

              “It’s not. But that’s not all heroes.”

              “You can’t prove that!”

              In one swift motion, a firm hand shoves me down onto the bed. Through my tears, I glare at the boy pinning me. His eyes burn with determination.

              “Like hell I can’t!” he says. “I’m gonna be the best damn hero the world has ever seen and that means I’m gonna show you what a real hero is.”

              He doesn’t get it. “Katsuki-”

              “No. I mean it.”

              From that look and the tone of his voice, I know he does, and that fact douses the indignation festering in me.

              “Whenever you need me, I’ll save you. Because I’m gonna be your hero.”

              “You shouldn’t make irresponsible promises.”

              “It’s not irresponsible if I mean it.”

              There’s no getting through to him; he’s as stubborn as ever. Still, even while I know we want different things, it’s nice to think that there will always be someone on my side.

              I hate the hope in my whisper. “Really?”

              “Don’t you dare doubt me.” His forehead presses against mine. “No matter what happens, I’ll be your hero.”

~~~~~

              “Well?” I demand. “You still want to be my hero? Even though the whole world says I’m a villain, would you still protect me?!”

              “That’s why you’re doing this? Because one asshole hurt you?”

              “Hurt me?! He took my family! He destroyed me!”

              “He’s dead!”

              “So what?! He rotted in prison until the day he died and then five more took his place! But I can prevent millions-no, billions of people turning out like me!” I hold my arms out. “This is me trying to make the world a better place! I caused you to suffer and I deserve to be punished for that. But you’re a hero and your job is to do what’s best for the people. That’s what I’m doing! The only difference is that I don’t care if I have to be the villain to do it.”

              I take in this hero for possibly the last time. Seeing him wavering comes as quite a surprise. Still, behind it all lies the person I fell in love with—he hasn’t changed a bit. The number of times I dreamt of giving up and crawling back to him, even if just to suffer his wrath, is innumerable. No one made me reconsider everything I knew about this world like he did and I almost gave it all up for him. s

              But I couldn’t let go of my animosity.

              “I’m sorry.”

              I turn back on him, continuing my procedure at the control panel.

              She calls out to me. “Look out!”

              A series of blasts fill the air, and for a second time, I’m interrupted before I can complete the process. He snatches my shoulder, shoving me up against the machine. One of those deadly, explosive hands presses against my throat. Frantic fury fills those eyes; he’s acting on pure instinct. I wouldn’t be surprised if it all went black in the next second. However, he simply stands there, his crushing grip holding me in place while he glowers at me. I deserve his wrath and that injects a fresh wave of guilt into my brain but, ultimately, I know I wouldn’t have done anything different.

              My heart stops while a blaring ring fills my ears. The guilt had nothing on this. Tears immediately begin spilling over, showing every weakness I have. His lips smashed against mine are rough and desperate, as if this is his last resort.

              My remorse enflamed, I try to push him off, but Katsuki’s tightens his hold, turning from forceful to choking. In seconds, my strangulation forces the kiss to end. I grasp at his wrist, but I didn’t have enough strength to force him off before, let alone now in this state. This is probably the end.

              “I hate you,” he says darkly. Tear prick in the corner of his eyes.

              “Kacchan!”

              If I wasn’t screwed before, I am now. Leaping into the room are top heroes two and three: Deku and Shouto.

              “Midoriya?” My guest turns mortified.

              Deku calls out to her. “Don’t panic, Eri. We’re here to save you.”

              Katsuki lets me hit the floor. While ragged gasps pull air into my lungs, I fight my panic. I’m so close; I only have a handful more commands to put in, but that’s not going to happen with these three. My hand slams against the floor; I failed.

               Suddenly, a hand takes my arm, forcefully pulling me to my feet. I don’t even fight against it; there’s no point.

              “So fucking much.”

              My gaze trails along his arm and to his face. There’s no longer anger on his expression, but something more intimate. I’ve seen this look before, on the anniversary of my parents’ deaths, on the day I met Katsuki—pity. And I hate it.

              His grip relents but the palm remains open to me. I only have a second to decipher this gesture because the other two are getting closer. I glance one more time at that pity, wondering if he did understand all those years ago.

              I may be signing my own death warrant, but at least it’ll be by his hand.

              Resting my hand in his, I feel the connection being made that grants a person access to my quirk.

              Without a word, he turns towards the stairs and raises his hand. Shock flashes on their faces before a blast—larger than I had ever seen from him—sends the two heroes back to the bottom.

              “What the hell are you doing?!” Shouto yells.

              Deku instantly understands. “They used their amplification quirk on him!”

              “But why is he fighting us?!”

              “I don’t know…” The young man braces himself for a fight. “But if we don’t stop them, everyone in the world is going to lose their quirk.”

              Katsuki looks to me, his pity replaced by the sincerity and softness he shared only with me. The reality of his choice is starting to set in, and the magnitude of his sacrifice hits my resolve hard. He meant it—he understood and he meant it.

              It only takes him four words to break my heart.

              “No matter what happens.”

[drawbauchery]

Two Of A Kind

(fic by cartoons-tothemoon)

Rico was, in many ways, comparable to a feral cat. He came and went as he pleased, he always came back with some sort of new scratch or bruise with no explanation, and he gave off the energy of some sort of dangerous, feral…Thing, despite being almost passive outside of combat situations.

However, similar to a feral cat, despite the threat of pain or personal injury, you couldn’t help wanting to pet it, or keep it around. Rico was scrappy, and to a lot of people, that was charming.

That was how Kowalski rationalized it anyhow.

Of course, nobody could guess that he’d be currently hooked up with the prince of a sovereign nature, but at this point, it was one of those things that might as well happen. If Skipper was allowed to have his weird homoerotic waltz with his frenemy and Private was allowed to clandestinely pine over Skipper the way he did, why not?

Of course, Kowalski wasn’t precisely sure what he was allowed. He was a man of science, of course, but was he not too flesh and blood, like his compatriots? His last relationship with Doris, “The Dolphin” as she was often called, had soured in a manner that he was still at least a little sore over, but surely enough time had passed for him to move past all this…Right?

It had been a slow day in the lab. Skipper told him that if anything else spontaneously combusted this week that he’d lose his microwave privileges, (which, on one hand, was fair, but on the other hand, was just sort of humiliating) so all he could do was sketch out vague models and schematics until night fell, which gave him some time to think about stuff he usually didn’t.

For instance, all of the…Whatever was going on as of late.

He knows it wasn’t always like this, but something had changed, and he had no idea what caused Skipper and Private to go from close friends to close friends with issues, or what caused his perception of Rico to shift from highly unstable maniac to highly unstable maniac with a heart of gold.

However, just as he thought he was making a connection between the several, loud, pounding knocks struck against the door to his lab, which practically caused him to jump out of his skin.

“I AM NEEDING OF YOUR HELP.”

“The door’s unlocked.” Kowalski called, yet still rising to his feet to open the door himself.

“THERE’S NO TIME, I NEED-“ the door opened, revealing Julien, who stopped yelling. “I need a doctor. You’re like a doctor, right?” Julien asked, looking a little more frantic than usual, his hair spiking up in stress.

“I….Guess?” Kowalski himself questioned. “I certainly have the most first aid training.” He turned back to the lab to grab his first aid kit. He hoped he’d have everything he’d need considering how often he had to use this thing as of late.

“Good enough.” Julien said, soothing his nerves by playing with his ponytail. As soon as Kowalski returned, he grabbed his arm in his, and began walking Kowalski down the hall. “It’s Rico.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Kowalski sighed.

“Really? That’s all you have to say? Are you sure you’re a doctor? Because your bedside manner is terrible.”

“I never claimed to be a doctor. What’s up with him?”

Julien froze, and turned to Kowalski, while smiling a sheepish smile. “You’re not going to tell the boss man about this, right?”

“No? Probably not?”

Julien continued his brisk pace at that.

“Good, because that guy just hates fun! I haven’t so much has ever seen him crack a smile! He’s such a bring-down. Anyhow, I mentioned to Rico a few days ago that I’d love to go dancing sometime, so we went out tonight,”

“It’s only 6…”

 “SO WE WENT OUT TONIGHT, and let me tell you it was banging!” Julien said, but his face seemed to fall as he approached his room, and held Kowalski’s arm tighter.

“Nobody there recognized me, but…A lot of people…Still wanted something from me…And…” Julien stopped walking entirely. They were just outside his door.

“I never felt so scared. Death didn’t even scare me, but this? This was…”

Kowalski was simultaneously terrified and calm. He never had to do this kind of comforting before, bringing someone down from a panic attack. “Deep breaths,” he said. “Deep breaths. You don’t have to say anymore.” He placed the hand that Julien claimed on the small of his back, as that was all the position would allow, and saw as he instantly relaxed.

“Rico took care of them. And then we came home.” Julien said, with a level of severity and seriousness never seen on the man. Julien opened the door to reveal Rico sitting on Julien’s bed, covered in various bruises and scratches and blood. Far too many to go unnoticed.

“Fists can only do so much against glass and knives and guns.” Julien murmured, he looked rather guilty at the thought that this was all his fault. A feeling Kowalski wasn’t even aware the foolish prince knew. A feeling welled up inside of Kowalski as he wished to hold and comfort the man he saw before him at this unexpected reveal of depth. He always thought of Julien as far too annoying and horny to deal with, but…Maybe he did contain some level of multitude within him. Maybe there was something more there to see. This fascinated him.

Of course, this reverie would not last long.

“Are you trying to sew your wounds closed with dental floss?”

“It’s, uh, c-c-cleaner than the th-thread I k-keep in my p-pocket.” Rico shrugged, then winced.

Kowalski sighed, and made his way towards the bed. He popped open the first aid kit, and delicately took the arm Rico was hastily trying to stitch up on his own. The wound looked rather deep, like if the knife had been at a different angle, he’d be in a rather different place right now. However, he was here.

“Your stitches are so sloppy…”

“Y-Yeah, well, y-you try sewing in a t-taxi cab s-sometime.”

“I’m probably going to have to pull them out. You’re rather lucky that your other injuries aren’t very serious.” Kowalski looked up, seeing Julien nibbling his lip in the corner, looking almost as bad as Rico, emotionally.  

“Julien?” He perked his head up at the sound of his own name. “Could you get me an ice pack if you would? He’ll need it for his black eye.” Julien nodded, walking out of the room at a relatively fast speed, leaving the two alone.

“I’ll probably sew the new stitches in first, then we can loosen your floss stitches so we don’t have to worry about the wound being reopened…” Kowalski muttered, not to anybody in particular, but Rico was there for it.

“Ar-are you going to t-tell Skipper?”

“Julien already asked.”

“And?”

“I don’t see why I would.” Kowalski shrugged, taking out some anti-septic wipes to dress his other wounds. “You were just doing your job.”

“W-What?”

“Julien told me. You defended him against some guys in a club? It seemed rather…Chivalrous of you.” Kowalski choked.

“Ch-Chivalrous, huh?”

“Don’t get any ideas.” Kowalski said, trying to stop something before it started. “I just wish you two were more careful.”

“Awww, y-you c-care about us.” Rico smirked, leaning in for effect. Kowalski could feel the room getting rather hot, and not just because he wore a sweater all the time. Kowalski decided to take the bait this one time, just to throw him off his game.

“Yeah, I do. I care about all of you, a lot. It’s just that the others aren’t actively throwing themselves into danger at a moment’s notice. The others aren’t trying to steal aspirin trucks or get on Skipper’s bad side. You are.”

Kowalski took the moment to straighten his posture on the bed, and tug on a bandage for harder than he necessarily needed to do.

“You don’t value your own life enough for you to be doing all you do. Is it too much to ask for a little self preservation from you?”

Rico was speechless. It was…All rather strange, to have to listen to Kowalski talk like this. They weren’t what you would call the most open with their feelings, and considering the face Kowalski made before he launched into this tirade, he was just doing this to throw off his flirting. However, it worked, he sounded genuinely worried, and it legitimately made Rico feel…Bad. He felt bad for making Kowalski feel bad, because Kowalski was always…There. Not like, on his side all the time, but there. He was present. Comforting isn’t how he would describe his presence, but he found comfort within it. If he wasn’t there, things would just feel off and bad. Rico couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how Kowalski thought of things.

“S-sorry.”

Kowalski sighed. He sounded tired. Julien knocked quietly on the door as he rushed to hand Kowalski the freezing cold ice pack for Rico’s shiner. He thanked him kindly, and with that, he was finally able to move on to the process of actually stitching up Rico’s wound, as all other trivialities that drew Kowalski’s eyes were addressed. It was a rather calming process actually, as Julien sat beside Rico as Kowalski did his work, quietly watching.

When he finished his labor, he received a fist-bump from Rico, and a hug from Julien.

“I thank you a million times over!”

Kowalski hesitantly patted Julien’s back. “Yes, yes. Of course. Just remember that I’ll need to remove the stitches in the next two weeks and-“

Julien sobbed a little into his chest, and Kowalski leaned more into the hug as he held him tight and let go soon afterwards.

“Hey, everything’s going to be alright. You can remove most of the bandages in two hours, and if Skipper asks, Rico got in a fight with the feral cats in the alley again.”

“Those g-guys are j-jerks.” Rico muttered, and that was when he realized how long he was holding his boyfriend, while he was crying about his boyfriend.

“You’re two of a kind.” Kowalski smiled, which made Julien smile as he turned back to his boyfriend to make fun of his little pout. Kowalski’s smile grew somber, as for a moment, he realized that he’d thought that…Maybe, he was allowed “this,” whatever “this” may be, but the last thing he’d want to do is spoil their fun, and that was the last thing he was considered.

He packed up his first aid kit again as Julien peppered Rico’s face with kisses, and made his way for the door.

“Hey ‘walski. D-Don’t burn that m-midnight oil, huh?” Rico remarked, winking. Julien stopped his onslaught of affection to catch Kowalski running out of the room, cheeks burning, and his boyfriend’s own smug, slightly soft reaction.

“So, what did you guys talk about while I was gone?”

“K-Kowalski said that he l-loved us.” Rico replied, batting his eyelashes and leaning in close to Julien before he got hit in the face with a pillow, knocking him to the floor.”

“He did not!” Julien laughed.

“He d-did!”

“Not!”

“Did!”

“Not! I don’t believe it!” He smiled, not in a cruel way, but something that said that he was also a little soft for the strangely uptight man.

“Hmmm.” Rico hummed, quizzically. “I g-guess you’ll h-have to wait and s-see.”

“And I guess you will too.”

(This was supposed to be your typical fanfic set-up of one character patching the other’s wounds, all the while scolding the other for their wrecklessness. I’m a sucker for that. I would’ve done it as Skipper/Private if I could figure out who was going to be who, but this was also a lot of fun!! I can’t believe I haven’t written for these guys yet. I hope you enjoy!)

[finallyaniguana]

Watch The Eyes: Damian [5]

[4]   masterpost   ao3   [6]

They stared at each other for a moment.

"I will assume you've spoken to Grayson?"

"Ah, actually," he corrected. "Master Tim came to me first."

Damian closed his eyes, trying to hold in the panic. It had never been this hard to hide his emotions before.

"Well, I can assure you, Alfred, I am fine and would like to continue getting ready for school."

Alfre nodded and stepped to the side so Damian could walk out of his room unobstructed. As he was walking out, Alfred cleared his throat.

"Forgetting something?"

His backpack. He was really off his game today.

He turned back into his room and picked it up.

"Yes. Thank you, Alfred," he said before calmly walking down the corridor and down the stairs.

Alfred followed.

"Have you eaten yet, Master Damian?"

"No. I was... sparring with Grayson," Damian revealed, sure Alfred already knew that.

"Would you like me to make you something?" Alfred asked.

He thought to all the panic roiling around in his stomach. He shook his head.

"Not today."

Alfred said nothing in response. He just took it in. That's what Damian appreciated about Alfred. He knew what to say and when to say nothing at all. He knew Damian would say what needed to be when it needed to be.

Alfred dropped him off at school with hardly a word from Damian. As calmly as he could, he went about his day, briefly greeting Jon as he passed him on the way to his first class.

Jon had transferred to Gotham a few years ago in a very obvious attempt to get Damian interested in team building, since it was easy for him to travel back and forth between Gotham and Metropolis. It hadn't worked at first, but as Damain grew less harsh and the assassin training dulled, he allowed Jon to become his friend. He was one of the only people Damian actually spoke to at his school.

It wasn't until lunch time that Jon was able to talk to Damian about his strange put off behavior.

"Did I do something wrong?" Jon asked.

Damian look up from the lunch he wasnt eating. He just stared at his friend. One of his only friends.

"No."

Jon sat back in his chair, having been leaning forward to hear the batboy's answer. Even if he didn't need to since he had his father's superhearing.

"Then what's up? Don't tell me you're fine. You aren't. Your heart beat has been crazy all day long," Jon said.

"Stop listening to my heart beat. It's weird!" he deflected.

Jon scowled at him, not taking the bait for reopening that argument.

"Tell me."

"I... think I met my soulmate?" Damian tried.

Straight as a board, Jon sat up in his chair.

"No way, dude! That's crazy! What's she like? Is she pretty? What's her name??" he practically yelled, drawing far too much interest of the students around them.

"Shhh! No, Jon, this isn't a good thing!" he angrily whispered.

Blue eyes wide, he shook his head as though shaking away Damian's words.

"... why?"

The people nearest were leaving in to hear Damian's answer. It's not everyday a billionaires child finds their soulmate. It would be good gossip to the right buyer.

"Not here," he admonished.

Jon slowly stood, raising his eyebrows when his friend remained seated.

"Are we going to talk about it?"

After a moment's deliberation, he stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder and followed him out of the cafeteria, lunch abandoned.

They found themselves in an empty classroom. Jon faced him, expectantly. Damian wanted to be annoyed. He and his father shared that compassionate farm boy look that made you trust them enough to want to spill your guts.

"It may be easier if I show you Drake's research," Damian began.

Jon nodded and waited. Luckily Damian had remembered to stick the research on the mind switching bond in his bag before Alfred had come to check on him. Jon scanned the paper over. He looked back into his friends eyes.

"This... I've never even heard of this bond. You have this one?" Jon asked.

"Unfortunately, yes. It was this morning. Today is her birthday," he confirmed.

"Okay... I still don't understand why you're upset about it. Does it have anything to do with how you think soulmates are a waste of time?"

"No! No. I don't think soul mates are a waste of time. I said they are a distraction. Personal connections are distractions," he rushed out.

Jon looked a little taken aback.

"What about friendship?" he looked a little hurt.

Despite his rough upbringing, Damian has slowly become more and more attuned to the people around him. He could understand how his words may have fallen short of how he really meant them.

"Ah! No I mean... you're the son of... well Superman. You don't need me to protect you. My enemies don't know you. They can't use you against me. A soulmate... that's...  that's different. She's just... well, she's a girl," he tried, stumbling over his explanation. "Not a superhero."

(He had no idea how wrong he was on that.)

He had been trying to deny he even cared all morning.

It was more that he didn't want to allow himself to care. It was too dangerous.

He saw Jon's expression soften. He was good with people. He could pick out hidden meanings in a way Damian couldn't. Jon was subtle, Damain was blunt.

He nodded.

"But, okay, I understand that as a superhero. But what about as Damian Wayne? You're thinking like a Bat when you should be thinking like a teenager. I don't see any reason why you can't try to find her now that you know she's out there. You have connections that won't take you through the underground. Your enemies won't even know you're looking for her."

Damian's head dropped into his hands. Jon was startled. He never acted like this. He was always so poised and refined. Whatever it was, it really mattered to him.

"You don't understand," he lamented. "I was in the Batcave this morning! I was sparring with Grayson after he had gotten back from patrol. There's no way I could approach her now! How am I meant to explain how I know Nightwing without revealing all the family secrets? What if she hates me? I've never even met the girl and already I've scared her away," he rambled on, the most sorrowful Jon had ever seen him.

He was acting like a certain Parisian girl.

His mind raced a million miles a minute. That was a conundrum. He glanced back down at the paper in hand. 'As the two souls grow closer, each individual may begin to act like the other person until they finally meet sometime in the year after the younger person's birthday.'

This must be how his soulmate would react in this situation. Damian would never freak out like this in front of him. That doesn't mean he didn't feel that way, however and something needed to be said.

"Maybe you should talk to your dad," he suggested. "He may be able to help you out with the whole 'secret identities' thing. He's been doing this for quite some time."

That seemed to have an effect.

The opposite effect of what he was hoping for.

"He's going to be so mad," Damian whispered, eyes glazed over staring into space.

"No! It's not even your fault! You'll figure this out. It'll be fine. I mean, look at my mom and dad. She's his soulmate and he told her the truth."

Damian took a deep breath to try and calm himself, clearly pulling on his assassin training. His spine straightened. Any other person would believe that the meltdown was over, but Jon could see that Damian's real personality was filtering back in and over taking his soulmate's. There was a raging storm underneath this forced calm.

"I will talk to my father about this later. Come on. We're going to be late to class." He turned and walked out, leaving a whiplashed Jon behind to sort out what just happened.

[manatehispants]

And You Are Meant For Me

Blankly Bonnie stared at the man sitting across from her at the small diner. Malachai "Kai" Parker. This man would be the reason she goes off the deep end one day very soon. She just knew it. Vampires talk about turning off their humanity, and Bonnie found she was wishing she could turn her's off. The first thing she would do once it was off was slaughter him. She would murder him and laugh, and laugh. She would never have to see that stupid smug smirk of his. Bonnie would never have to hear that grating voice of his. The voice made her cringe with every word he uttered. Best of all she wouldn’t have to hear that insufferable nickname spoken ever again.

"Bon-Bon! Are you even listening to me!? I totally feel ignored right now!"

Kai sniggered at the brilliant green eyes narrowing at him. He leaned back in his seat and cracked his neck loud as he could. Naturally, he knew what he was doing to Bonnie, but he couldn't help himself! She constantly disregarded his feelings for her. How else could was he meant to get her attention? Sure, this was negative attention, but this was better than the feeling of being invisible. Perhaps it was childish, but anything was better than the fate of being a nobody. He rather be hated than be nothing at all to her. Bonnie kept her glare firmly on Kai. She dared not take her eyes away from him for a second.

"And I’am totally disgusted by you. As always."

Laughing Kai placed a hand to his chest over his heart and make a sad face at her. This caused Bonnie to roll her eyes. Why did he have to be this way? Why did ever single thing he do have to vex her, and why did he have to be so conceited about it all the time? If he would put a tenth of the effort he put into annoying her into trying to be a normal person he would be likable. Possibly, that's what made her the most upset about him. That he had the potential to be a likable human being yet he made the choice to be anything but that.

"You're starting to hurt my feelings now."

Replied Kai now putting on a dramatic pout for show. Bonnie wasn’t having it. She let out a sound of frustration as shoved her chair away from the table. The sound of the chair scrapping against the diner floor filled the air. Kai wished the diner was full now instead of almost empty. It would have been comical to witness the witch be embarrassed by this scene playing out.

"You're wasting my time. I only came here because you said you knew something important. Obviously you aren't going to tell me.....So bye."

This wasn't what was meant to happen. Kai's planning was falling apart he couldn't have that. Both his brows shot up and he sat up a bit straight now. He was tense, but he wasn't going to allow for too much of this to show. Coyly he rolled his shoulders back.

"Fine. Leave. I don't care."

By now Bonnie had stood up and was moving pass him. A statement such as this shouldn't have bothered her. It was barely anything. He hadn't named called her any unforgivable name or threatened her. And still, something about the smugness in his tone drove her batty. She felt herself tightly balling her hands into fist at her sides. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to regain her center. Some bit of calmness came back to her and Bonnie reopened her eyes. She turned around to face Kai. If she wasn't a better person she would be trying to start him on fire right now.

"You're lying. Just like you were probably lying about knowing anything. I never should have come here.”

Oh the beauty of that wording! It was all too perfect. The game was back on for Kai! His bright blue eyes the complete opposite of Bonnie's eyes danced with impish attitude. She was making this too easy for him. Bonnie didn't know how, but she knew she had screwed up. It was written clear as day on the bane of her existence's face.

"Yet you came. If I am such a liar why did you bother coming here? Why are you really here, Bon-Bon?"

Brown eyes narrowed at Kai and he knew she was mentally killing him in a million different ways. Was it sick that he relished every damn moment of this because it meant he was on her mind? No sicker than wanting to kill family. His obsessive love for the Bennett witch was the most sane and healthy thing about him. He was a man drowning in sin and she was his salvation. If only she could see it. They could save each other. She would save him from the darkness within, and him from the loneliness he knew she must feel. How could she not feel it? Everyone around her had someone expect her. Bonnie paused for a second too long before speaking and you better believe that Kai noticed it. He noticed everything when it came to this woman.

"It was a mistake. I won't be making it again.”

There was more bit to her words than she had intended. It wasn’t all directed at Kai. She was more mad with herself than him. Bonnie was upset that she always allowed for him to get her this worked up. That he somehow had a spell on her and he knew it. But most of all right now she was mad because he was making a lot of sense. Everyone knew Kai wasn’t trust worthy. That being the case, why had she so quickly came running when he called her?

“Face it, Bon-Bon. You like me. We are meant for each other. That’s what really gets under your skin isn’t it?”

The words come out as sing-song taunt meant to cause outrage. Bonnie’s lips part to reject the pest’s claim, but it’s as if someone has stolen her speech away. Mystic Falls’ witch beauty isn’t shocked he would stoop to this. No, this is typical Kai. Saying anything to bug her. What does throw her is two things. It’s the sliver of hope which she swears she sees in those crystal blue eyes. Not for the first time she’s scared to answer him. She’s afraid to admit it. He’s right and it’s so wrong! He’s a murderous sociopath! She cannot love a man such as him! She won’t! To like him would be to betray her morals. It would mean going against everything she was. And yet the more she entertains the notion the more right she realizes it is. No! She cannot allow that! Her gaze darkens and Kai’s heart drops. He knows the moment of uncertainty Bonnie had is gone. He is aware that he will once again be tossed aside by her.

“You’re a psychopath.”

It was a weak comeback, but it was the only thing Bonnie could come up with. It was something she had to remind herself of avoid the belief that there could be any truth to what had been said by him. Kai raised both brows his eyes going wide, and Bonnie just knew he was about to say something that piss get off. She quickly turned on her heels and walked out of the diner before he had a chance to speak it. Kai’s face dropped as the diner door slammed shut behind the only woman he loved. He felt that same bitterness swelling up his throat that he always felt when she walked away from him. Kai grabbed the soda pop which sat in front of him. Loudly he slurped it through the straw making what few diners the place housed turn and stare at him in disgust. He chuckled softly.

“I still got it.”

The manic Gemini whispered to himself with a cackle coming forth that made everyone in the building uneasy.