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#when I say everyone I obviously dont really mean that
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Ford is such a fascinately flawed character, If he not keep in check he unintentionally brings ruin to everyone around him.
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this is literally how i feel talking about ford. ^
because dont get me wrong at many times i am a ford defender when people slander him for the wrong reasons, but also a lot of the time i will be like "YOUR HONOUR HE DID THAT SHIT AND I THINK HE WAS HOT WHEN HE DID IT" and then at other times i will be like "YOUR HONOUR HE DID THAT SHIT AND ISNT IT AMAZING THAT SUCH A COMPLEX AND FLAWED CHARACTER IS NOT DEMONIZED AND VILLAINIZED BY THE NARRATIVE BUT INSTEAD GIVEN A CHANCE TO GROW". so a lot of the time i just end up walking in circles rotating him a lot because i end up wanting to play devils advocate from like literally every angle of "so how much harm did ford do Really"
but i think when you look at ford in the show, hes a very interesting character, specifically because he's this very "loadbearing" character. he's the author, so he has to be the driving force behind the mystery, but he also has to have met and have ended things badly with mcgucket, so we have their falling-out as a tease to the mystery. we need him to cause conflict in the show thanks to his arrival, so he'll do some unlikable things like punch stan and demand his house back and offer dipper the apprenticeship. but he cant be TOO unlikeable because this is a member of the family stan has fought for 30 years to get back, and he also needs to be integrated as Officially A Pines in the VERY limited time we have with him on screen. not only that, but you have to explain his entire backstory in one episode where he harms and is mean to a character who has had two seasons' worth of love behind him SEVERAL TIMES. but you also need to make us feel for him, and you have to make stan's part of the conflict sting too. and THEN! ON TOP! OF ALL! THAT! YOU ALSO NEED TO PAY-OFF THE SETUP YOU HAD OF BILL CIPHER AND THE AUTHOR'S MYSTERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!
and so a lot of the time what i end up thinking is yes, ford is flawed. yes, he can be really callous and unfeeling at times. but i think because he's constantly needing to carry like 10 different plot elements on his back at once, constantly needing to drive conflict along, he ends up being really divisive to people- especially since he has no time to just goof off like everyone else!
so i circle back to this idea of ford as the "ruin-bringer". i think about that wording most meticulously. because that walks this VERY delicate line between saying something about fords character, his flaws, his backstory, and dipping right into "omg lets blame ford for EVERYTHINGGG!" but you think a lot about ford and his self-isolation and his EGO and the way he lifts himself above others both out of pride and out of shame.
ford is almost doing that to himself, really. making himself this common denominator black hole that people keep getting sucked into. because he is of the opinion that there are Special People who need to rise above, he ends up either isolating himself or isolating others to Join Him on the Path. and obviously that in and of itself is a gesture of companionship, of reaching out, because he says "i see the same greatness in you that i do myself"! but of course there IS no secret hidden greatness! so its all inherently flawed! you cant be rising above simply because youre "special" and you "deserve it"! but "special" is the only thing ford knows how to be!
ford is deeply hurting i guess. he seems deeply hurt the way that stan does to me, where everything he does just BLEEDS his trauma. you can see it staining everything. stan's need for companionship and ford's self-isolation. ford's hurting and he needs a healthy outlet but he has a path of destruction in his wake. and that just makes it so much crazier
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lonigiri · 2 days
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model chapter 4; sewing machine
masterlist
"i wanted you to know, whenever you're around, i cant speak."- heartbeat ; childish gambino
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she taps the wooden table with the tips of her nails, making a satisfying clicking sound as she thinks about what to sketch for her new model. she was a little bit early to the cafe so she could start working on some designs because she hadnt worked on them last night as she got held up watching the new season of rupaul's with her roommates. she heard the door ring as it was pushed open by none other then her model. a grimace forming on her face before he walked over to the booth where she was sitting at and sat across from her.
"i didnt think you'd be here this early." he said as he checked his watch looking at the time.
"im almost always ten minutes early to everything. if you're early you're on time. if you're on time you're late."
he nodded at your explaination and looked over looking at the empty mannequin on the paper. "i hope you dont have me naked for one of the outfits." he laughed. hoping to earn atleast a smile out of her and she just rolled your eyes. was he just insulting me for not having my work done? i deserve a break sometimes too. she thought, obviously thinking the worst. she narrowed her eyes at her a nasty look on her face.
"what is your issue? this project isnt the only thing im worried about i have other work for other classes i need to get done."
she snapped at him. that wasnt the reason that she didnt have the sketch worked out yet, it just felt easy to say within the moment.
"im sorry i didnt mean it like that, it was just supposed to be a little joke. sorry if i offended you in any way."
he was genuinely sorry, his eyes laced with guilt. but for some reason she didnt care. absolutely no empathy whatsoever. she just rolled her eyes. "whatever lets get this over with." her words pierced through him. he just nodded and bit the inside of his cheek.
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fun facts!
-kuroo consistently fumbles when he talks to yn like its js apart of him now
-yn doesnt really have a reason why she hates kuroo so much, its just something about his aura, at least thats what she says whenever anyone asks her
-yes kuroo doesnt know what a sewing machine is.
-yachi shares a wall with both hinata and yn so whenever shes in her room she either hears yn screaming into her pillow or hinata talking to kageyama, sometimes both at the same time!
-the corner is just a random corner that used to have a cuck chair but now said cuck chair is facing the corner and whenever one of the guys (usually kuroo or bokuto) does something weird/creepy/odd they get told to go into the corner.
tags- @giocriedpower @0tsukie @pkjay @emotiandon @eruphi @milkystarrrycharm @jellysupremacy @tetsuswhore @nymphsdomain @rrosiitas @itsdragonius @rirk-ke @talidk
(if ur name is bolded that means i cannot tag you, please go to ur settinfs and turn on tags for everyone)(also if you want to be added to the taglist the taglist is in the masterlist that is linked on this post)
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nikethestatue · 2 days
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I finished ACOSF a few months ago and seeing this fandom has been so confusing to say the very least. Nesta is my favorite character and I loved the Valkyries but .... I just don't see this Gwynriel ship happening. I think they'd be cute together and I wouldn't be opposed to it obviously - but I just don't see it happening given where we left off in ACOSF. I also am confused about the personality difference in Gwyn & Elain and Azriel.
Gwyn didn't even kill anyone in the BR and was knocked out and carried to the top - so why are people acting like she is some great warrior and will destroy legions of armies and lead the Illyrians into war!? She saw a mini Pegasus at a sleepover and through it was cute and now all of a sudden people think she's going to ride one in the skies while she paints Prythian with the blood of her enemies? What enemies even?? She's not tied to any of the IC's plot?
Elain didn't really stand out to me in ACOSF, which makes sense because it was NESTA's story. I didn't really have an opinion on her and Azriel or her and Lucien. I get that Lucien makes her uncomfortable but SJM writes her pairings that way it seems so I could see them ending up together tbh. But then I read the BC and - wtf ?? I am firmly team Elriel now because what do you mean Azriel's out here dreaming about how elain TASTES . I see you freaky azriel 👀 goddamn I Definitely was not expecting that from him but now that I have seen it I can't go back. There's no way SJM wrote that and plans on making Elain then end up with Lucien. Like I thought it would be fine but after that BC - there's no going back.
Either way - it's weird that people have such a strong opinion on Azriel and Elain because I think combined, they've said maybe like 200 words total? I like the idea of them but we dont know much about them? Why are people forming such harsh steadfast opinions on what either of them want or need or desire when we don't know much of anything? They're both kind of mysterious.
Idk I feel like I just missed a book with how strongly everyone is arguing about these guys.
Elain - had some badass moments but barely mentioned on the page in ACOSF
Azriel - even more mysterious than Elain but the dry humor makes up for it.
Lucien - he's not been in the past 2 books?
Gwyn - is great but not the Aelin type of warrior people online are making her out to be
Where is all this coming from I am very confused??
Honestly, most of this is coming from TikTok, Headcanons and fan art on Insta.
You have NO IDEA how many asks i've received over the years with people saying the same thing 'i saw so many Gwynriel arts on Insta and I thought that there will be some amazing romance in ACOSF. THEN, I read the book. And I kept waiting for something to happen and nothing ever did."
I think the key word for a lot of GAs is 'then'--they first saw the art, watched the tiktoks, got themselves all jacked up on theories and headcanons, and then, THEN they read the book. So now, the problem is that they have a hard time separating reality/canon from all that stuff that brought them to the fandom in the first place.
They are digging their heels and arguing that it WILL HAPPEN!!! absolutely will. Gwyn will become a great warrior and will ride a Pegasus into battles. Azriel will fall madly in love with her. They'll have kinky sex and she'll 'heal' him.
ALL of it comes from fan art. Literally, look at 99% of Gwynriel fan art and it's all 'fake'--imagined scenes that never happened.
I think many of them either left the fandom or can't accept that they've been duped and are incorrect in their assumptions.
It will be interesting to see what the fallout will be once the book is released.
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ladystoneboobs · 6 months
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no of fence to jon snow fans who for some reason care about his exact age, but these discussions just annoy me no end. not only bc there's no way any weirwood flashbacks bran has to rhaegar/lyanna will come with time/datestamps, but also bc there's always comments like this:
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SEVERAL turns of the moon (ie, months)?! have these people never seen a human baby before or just have no concept of their ages? even if we take into account travel time from the toj to wf, meaning jon was not a newborn too fresh out the oven when catelyn and robb arrived, there's still a difference between a newborn and a 3mo and an even bigger difference between those infants and an older baby 5-7mo. there's very good reasons these lines were cut. whatever birthdates can be worked out internally for jon and robb from when they're first mentioned as 15 and 16 don't matter in the end, bc grrm doesn't care about a consistent timeline and the actual text of catelyn's pov and ned's convo with robert about cheating on her should outweigh any guesstimates about jon's official nameday wrt robb's. catelyn may not have cared for jon, but she would sure as hell have noticed his nameday if it came before robb's and made him ned's firstborn. if jon's birthday canonically came before robb's then either ned's cover story would not involve adultery (not impossible for him to sire a bastard before his wedding), or he'd just give jon a new nameday along with his new name to fit the adultery lie. it makes no sense for him to lie about one and not the other, undermining the big lie with a little public clue of his story not adding up. whatever else she was as a stepmother, cat wasn't stupid and a bastard who was actually the eldest son being raised alongside her trueborn heir could be an even bigger insult than whether he was born of adultery or not.
BUT, the unknowability of jon's true birthday is not the only reason this annoys me, it's bc this is all based on the assumption that jon must be older since rhaegar/lyanna ran off together before ned married cat, as if both boys must have been conceived asap as robb canonically was when his parents consummated their marriage. and that's not how human reproduction works! even if you don't understand how fast babies grow in the first year, you should know that people who get pregnant do so through ovulation cycles and a lucky sperm finding an egg and all that, not just immediately getting knocked up as soon as one has p-in-v sex for the first time. not unless you only know mean girls sex ed where if you have sex you will get pregnant and die. (even tho lyanna did die, there's plenty of canon examples where pregnancy did not lead straight to death. also examples of people who did not get pregnant right away and even some who are/were sexually active and childless without always having moon tea on hand.) we can't know how long lyanna was having sex before that sperm+egg match happened or even how long she was with rhaegar before losing her technical virginity. if they were married, doesn't it make sense to think they didn't consummate their relationship until the wedding night either? that's the only leverage there is to ensure a status as wife rather than just mistress.
and while i just said grrm doesn't care about exact timelines and a lot is still foggy surrounding the rebellion and esp rhaegar, there is one timemarker wrt robert's rebellion he voluntarily threw in, time and time again: that stannis was besieged at storm's end for almost a whole year. that siege, which mind you, did not match the duration of the entire war. it only started after robert won his battles at gulltown and summerhall, returned to storm's end, and then went out and lost the battle of ashford, leaving his homeland open to the reachermen. the same siege which only ended when ned made a detour there after the sack of king's landing, before going to the toj. even if lyanna may not have given birth that exact day ned found her, she could only be waiting in that bloody bed for weeks at the most, not months. so if rhaegar knocked her up the very same night he carried her off and jon was still a newborn when ned found her after the siege of storm's end had ended, wouldn't that mean lyanna was pregnant for well over a year? that's not how human pregnancy works either! so, maybe that's proof that jon and robb, whichever order they were actually born in, were actually very close in age as babies, much closer than if they were both conceived asap.
and really, jon's actual birthdate does not matter imho, when he was raised not just as the bastard to robb's trueborn heir, but with robb also known by catelyn and the world as ned's firstborn (which he was, in any case, as jon was ned's nephew by birth). what difference could a birthdate before robb's make (even were there some means of discovery) after ned, cat, and robb are all dead? if one is looking only at his birth parents then he's only a firstborn child on lyanna's side, but definitely a second son on rhaegar's side. maybe he was always meant to be a second son with a not much older half-brother! even if the aegon fka young griff is not in fact rhaegar's son, he'll still be known as aegon vi targaryen, meaning jon will never be known as any father's elder son. if i may reference mean girls again, it's not going to happen.
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oozeandgoo-art · 4 months
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everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane
#oc#monochrome#sketch#velan#vakori#rocaim#rocaim and vakori are rex and taz and adder and silas's parents#adder and silas get their looks from vakori; rex and taz to a slightly lesser degree get it from rocaim#rex specifically is like a sharper clone of him. fucks velan up all the time because their personalities are completely totally different#rocaim was very like. gentle and understanding. good with kids and well-liked by basically everyone. a very effective mediator#rex is obviously none of those things lmao. every time he says something particularly insensitive it surprises her for like six years runni#anyway rocaim is in love wtih vakori. velan is in love with vakori. vakori is aro as they come but insanely pragmatic#like. ok le's based loosely off my ex. like. so le's SCARY pragmatic. so fucking cool about it everyone with a brain is specifically like#'woag oh my god le's so pragmatic im in love with her'. anyway eventually le's like 'hi rocaim. here are the objective reasons that i think#that if we got married it would mean i had better standing and more power in the organization we're both committed to. would you be#opposed to possibly getting married with me on the grounds that it would get me respect and power' and rocaim. who is already head over#heels for ler specifically because le makes these kinds of decisions and sees with this kind of logic is like. Absolutely. 100%#then for the next four years of their formal engagement people keep taking rocaim aside and being like hey... i have bad news...#...that leya you're engaged to... le's not romantically interested in you the same way you're romantically interested in ler... le only#wants you because you're an Ath and le wants a voice in the interclan meetsings... and then when Rocaim is like yeah i know#thats why i want to marry ler isnt that like the sexiest fucking reasoning you've EVER heard. no one gets it but velan#who is also in love with ler for the same reasons but has no such claims to power#and who also is not equipped for a polycule nor willing to try to go behind rocaim's back because unfortunately for her. she is also in lov#with rocaim. me when im in love with my friend and my friend's wife and also i'm pretty sure they both reciprocate but they're both#married and i dont really know what to do about it and also all three of us are very Traditional and that is not the Tradition:#and then they both die and she never quite deals with that.#but she DOES get to raise their (surviving) kids :) most of whom are fucking nightmares#life is so difficult for velan. like actually#closerverse#cv
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fruitsyrups · 27 days
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blank eyed girl and ghost fly and the first investigation and stakes miniseries (but specifically the parts that involve finn and jake) and also sometimes kind of objects or scenes (like the sword finn gets from hunson and the scene in the same episode where they're all eating pizza after marcy's concert ... all has a certain kind of atmosphere to me... a vibe.. if you will. i dont know what it is though. but im a little bit crazy about it to be honest
#something something night time something something investigation something something pizza. for some reason ? because they're also getting#pizza at the start of blank eyed girl. and that is undeniably part of the vibe.#something something paranormal/supernatural (are those synonyms or no) elements ... smth smth Hanging out while that stuff is going on...#the episodes where marcy and pb and finn and jake and pepbut are hunting the vampires in the woods ... condense that and inject in directly#into my veins. thx#i dont think i ever talked about these much because theyre conceptually very out there and kind of embarrassing but#ive got these aus... heehee... one of them is a modern/teacher au(bonnie/marcy are teachers . finn is a student . jake is finn's caretaker)#and also a vampire au. and you might be thinking Thats not au marcy is already a vampire... but THE THING IS! not in this one. actually.#because the whole thinngggg is that PB is a vampire and its a SECRET and marcy comes from a family of vamp hunters#so she obviously suspects PB of being a vampire but they both talk around it and flirt obviously and its all sooo silly. and i love it.#AND THEN THERES ANOTHER ONE. and it's another modern/everyone-is-human au (sorry i'm boring) EXCEPT finn is a werewolf. so like... finn is#dog (in a way) and jake is a human. you get it.#and pb is studying to become a scientist . and jake is still finn's caretaker because even in modern aus finn is a double orphan to me. soz#btw when i say jake is his caretaker i mean that joshua and margaret were the ones who adopted him but then they died and jake got#custody. finn and jake still have a brotherly dynamic even in this scenario. jake is responsible for him but they still see eachother as#brothers. just to be clear. like it's not a father figure kind of situation. i love their unconventional family dynamic 😽 i love them so#much. ermmm hang on i got off track...#so finn is a werewolf and jake is aware of it and they drag PB into it because she knows Science .#pb is like ... well i can't just NOT cure lycanthropy.#so thats that whole thing...#love it. great idea . whoever came up with all that must be sooo cool. and cute too. probably really smart and funny too. 😇#and aaalssooooo. i was tossing around the idea of another modern/human world au (i knooow im sorry i dont know why i keep doing this) and#it's a chatfic. and i know how that all sounds. BUT!!!! yeah this one has a twist too. because how could it not ! i am Me after all.#actually recently all of my ideas have been grounded af. borderline slice of life even. so boring i know.#but these AUs are all stuff i came up with a little while ago so they all had to be silly in order to even keep my attention for 5minutes.#so the twist in this one is that BMO is an AI (but like actually sentient not just a boring chatbot bc what wld even be the point of that)#and then robots try to take over the word or smth. and then bmo saves the word and stuff#no real plots for any of these AUs but the ideas are there. and i do want to try to do something with them somedayyyyy. eventually.#i hardly ever move on from anything actually. thats my truth.
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13eyond13 · 1 year
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toytulini · 4 months
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i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh
#toy txt post#i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like#i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and#knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know#what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the#concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit#anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit#toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid.#i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult.#Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist#obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis#silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos)#cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way)#moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon#and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew#how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons#so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead#of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown#grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas#and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her#put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis#who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the#roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they#released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of#chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the#one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and#gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces#that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power?#despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have#well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃
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valodia · 9 months
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Real thing somebody said IRL today "the christmas tree in itself is from pagan culture so it doesnt count as religious"
#lodia sayings#just one of the casual ways i feel dismissed in everyday life.#like.#this is like 75% of why im so aggressive to xtianity its just forced down my throat and trying to desperately include me as a white person#everyone like ohh obviously youre participating into this xtian tradition etc how are you celebrating etc#im allergic#it was xmas time recently as everybody is held at gunpoint to know.#and i know some ppl when i say they dont celebrate they say like oh me either really i dont care but i do it for my children or family etc#and im like not me i actively will not engage even if my family rlly wanted me to in fact thats how ive been since a teenager#and i took a second to think about it and i was like wait thats a really stubborn stance that i have for seemingly no rational reason#like if it means a lot to somebody i care about it would cost nothing to indulge them and be nice about it#and i realized it stems from an internalized belief that people are not willing to accomodate me and i think its bc i dont matter to them#which is like. not necessarily true but i cant help but feel that way#and i was like hmmm hm. well ive probably been hurtful about this in the past if i think about it.#so ig if im ever faced with the situation again ill have to do better#but anyway.#sorry i use the tags in the way that the post is supposed to be for.#edit: i realized w my tags it sounds like i think this person is wrong and i believe that xmas tree is xtian#its not what i meant i meant that being pagan is literally religious. as a pagan that offends me lol
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magnoliamyrrh · 11 months
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okay enough of the rants im logging off last thing ill say is that identity politics is largely a disease 👍 its point with the extremism its been taken to in part due to cia postmodernism being to wreck class conciousness though the wokeificstion of fragmentory policies and identity👍 bipartisan politics also serve to divide the country (all countries) incresingly so that people cant come together👍 having the worlds most stupid useless fragmentory identity politics discussions doesnt help it keeps us from coming together and focusing on real shit 👍wars pit the resources and labour of the working class against each other for the benefit of the rich 👍"im iranian youre american, you and i have more in common with each other than our governments with us, and our governments are more similar etc etc."👍 if racism stopped and if sexism stopped and if classism between the working classes (which, everyone has forgotten what the term "working class" means, its not abt economic bracket, low, middle, and higher class can all b working class yes including the doctor whose making a lot of money bc it is the exhange of labour for wages) stopped the working class could stand united not divided aginst the system 👍differences in race, class, and sex have Always been used to pit the working classes against each other, and to give people a sense of "well at least were better than Those people" (opressed middle class disdain for lower class, opressed mens disdain for women (at least they have power over someone!), opressed peoples disdain for other opressed peoples)
i may bitch and complain about kinds of people on here bc its a way for me to get my frustrations out, but ultimately i do think it is vitally important to have hope and to try to bring unity between people. ultimately i think it is unity which is the only way this planet, species, and every other species on this planet may see a better futute. ultimately, more than anything, i think despite everything we, for everyones sake, have to understand the deep interconnected nature of everything, have to truly understand that one cannot be free without all, and have to try to build bridges.... it is very easy both as both members of the opressive and opressed class (and yes most ppl occupy both in some way) to fall into disdain, fear, and wants of separatism. ive done it plenty myself and at times i still do. trying to "be better" is absolutely exhausting. but. i do truly believe that we have to try. i do not believe hatred is forever. not classism not racism not sexism not abelism not anything. it is not a curse people are doomed to from birth. people can change, we all can. we at least have to try
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woahajimes · 1 year
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i feel such an incredibly frustriating yearn
#when i went to ecuador everyone was so warm#like strangers to you probably not since its dangerous and crime rates and stuff but the general love and care dynamics are so different#like im super anxious and closed up and im not very touchy nor do i say a lot but it wasnt ALWAYS like this and i thought oh maybe i just#grew up but also maybe i just moved to canada#like yeah canadians are super nice but friendships are so strict and dynamics are so like. idk its different#I mean there's obviously the fact that i havent' met a lot of people and that i am closed off and stuff but at least in my old school in#Ecuador friendships are the same and theres boy/girl friendships and its not romantic and hugs are normal and#ive messed up so many guy friendships because of that like im “oh my god yes new guy friend unlocked” and sudenly ive been sending them#mixed signals all along even tho im like yeah we chillin and ahhhhh#like#if i got shit wasted drunk here id probably get filmed and posted on the gc#but in ecuador i did get terribly drunk and i was with a friend (guy) and it was a pool party#this party i did not KNOW it was a pool party so i got thrown in with jeans and all but i got super drunk and everyone was kinda drunk and#there was a point in which he like sat me down and kept giving me water and like its just that care that#ah in canada it could never#at least not at this age i dont think#not at my school at least lmao#like in everything theres no judgement and theres a general friendship thats really good#god i miss it#but i never really had it#yk#like im gonna talk a little more abt this party k#it was the whole graduating year bc we're seniors and they all knew each other#nobody knew we were getting in the pool but by the time i got there EVERYOEN was in#like in jeans and school uniform and all#and people were like DRAGGING YOU#like it was all laughs and skjfhjkdhjjhkdhjkdfsjkhdsjhkdsfkjdfjkhdfs#like physically throwing you in the pool#obv no harm bc it wasnt deep but like everyone was just#like bridal style and wrestling and there were drinks and music
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kurthorton-moving · 1 year
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feeling very 🧍‍♂️ may not be around for a bit
#its nothing tumblr related really its more just irl#a mix of being tired and having deadlines and not being able to make myself work#and the. kinda harsh switch in vibe in the house from last nights everyone hanging out having fun#to todays me alone cleaning up after everyone and knowing that the others are content doing their own thing and don't wanna hang w me#which like!! is fine im not expecting to be the center of their world its just.#idk we used to hang out every night watching a movie or some tv and laughing#and ever since i got back from my trip we just. we spend time together maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks and it takes me asking if they wanna#hang out like 3000 times before it ever happens and when it does there's just. theres a disconnect#and I think they just realized during the two months i was away that theyre. maybe a bit happier without me#or at least they find it easier to not hang out#like theyve got jobs now so obviously they dont have time the way they used to but its not just that theres been a Shift#i think they also might. kinda resent me for the trip and having that opportunity#which sucks bc i cant. do anything ab that i had no say in the trip i didnt want to go#and even saying that makes me very. like that feels like such a selfish arrogant thing to say to want to turn down a trip across the world#but everyone who was here during that trip knows that i spent the entire time dissociating and getting yelled at and suicidal so uh#i dont think its selfish to not have wanted to go when i Knew it'd end like that but i think they might think it was#ANYWAY this got depressing and sad i dont mean to bring shit here its just i literally only have 3 friends and 2 of them r these ones#and the other is so emotionally unavailable and doesnt really take mental health seriously so#ooc.#negative cw
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Actual photo of me whenever I try to think of a Bill Redemption Arc that I could write without making it the angstiest plotline ever known to man
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Ok which fucking youtuber said Marc being Jewish never comes up in the comics because its such a common thing people say Im convinced some youtube idiot said it in a “EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MOONKNIGHT!!” video like two years ago and now everyone thinks its fact
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jabeur · 5 days
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whenever i'm with large groups of people i have at least one moment of Oh God. People Think I'm Either A Man Or A Woman. it's like getting shocked every time lmao party meme but it's they don't know i'm nonbinary
#he looked scared! like i might think badly of him or treat him differently!#i have many gay friends!#i did? kind of come out? to my coworker?#but i mean she already knew i'm gay lmao it's so obvious when you assume i'm a man that i'm not straight 😭😭#i did have to make a split second decision to say either bi or gay and i said gay 😭 i do use both interchangeably personally#bc i use gay as like an umbrella term for not straight#but i know people tend to think of only homosexual and heterosexual lol bisexual people don't exist <3#but really i didn't feel like doing a lesson on what bisexuality is if it was needed so 😭😭#my coworker was cool with it i was like i mean you probably know already but i'm gay lol and she said yeah i knew but it's your business#but um she was kinda outing our ex coworker? and i know she told me bc i'm obviously gay myself but.......#it's not cool to tell me when he only mentioned his bf to her and she said he looked scared that she might judge him.... like it's not cool#to tell period but especially since it was clearly said bc he trust *her* with the info#if they're openly out and the person already knows well ofc whatever you can talk about it but it wasn't like that so#but the thing IS....... that i only really realised she was outing him afterwards? my bad truly. i was uncomfortable in the moment#but for some reason it didn't click why til later#bc like at first i thought it was bc she said something like 😭😭 girl. how should he know you'd be cool with it. we live in This Society.#so i was uncomfy like uhhh. and i said well i mean you probably know already but i'm gay too and even if there's a p high chance that peopl#will be okay with it in this day & age (i didn't say but. bit different for trans ppl. i'm not out as trans) we can never know#so it makes sense to be scared to say it!#and she was like yes! but i am okay with it and he looked so scared! i truly know so many and i love them even more than others!#😭😭😭😭😭 she means well but seriously HOW SHOULD HE KNOW ALL THAT 😭😭😭😭 it doesn't work like that girl.....#i mean ? *i* never told her i'm gay 😭😭 and i've known her for 2 years and a half almost. this guy worked with us for like a few months#anyway i wish i was quicker to realise bc i would've told her out on it like...... really not your thing to tell other people 😵‍💫😵‍💫#still. i am glad i said it. even when it's obvious and wouldn't need telling#it's NOT easy to like. know that everyone knows. not for me at least. especially with the added layer of being trans (AND nonbinary)#bc i don't think ppl i haven't told know that. i think cis ppl are quite bad at like.. knowing transmasc ppl exist lol#so i go by he/him only in italian (no other options lol) and i'm. not really completely masc and don't “pass” super well but when#i present myself as nico and talk abt myself w masculine words ppl just either ignore that and go she! :) or think alright. (cis) gay man#and at work it's the latter after i've worked there for over 2 years. like i'm not out as trans so ppl draw those conclusions#i don't think it'd shock ppl if i said i'm trans but simply put cis ppl at least cis italian ppl dont know shit abt trans men and transmasc
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thebigqueer · 17 days
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Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
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