#when do i get to go off to college

[somecunttookmyurl]

all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults

you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something

[theshadowrealmitself]

Really wish everyone wasn’t like “don’t go to college if you aren’t passionate about what you’re majoring in”

Like unfortunately I am not blessed enough to really have a passion, much less one I can major in and get a job about, and I am not privileged enough to just do fuck all until I somehow find that passion

So I’m gonna keep doing what gives me a direction in life, and maybe I’ll never find that passion, maybe I’m not someone who was made to love working, but if I can find a career that doesn’t overwork me while paying me enough that I can take a few days off every week and get vacation time to do hobbies, I’ll consider that the jackpot and it’ll be enough for me

[craycraybluejay]

yes i am an adult male who loves high school dramas this is because i literally never experienced normal coming of age drama like ever and am disconnected from the collective experience of having a relatable peer group forever hope that helps

[kohakhearts]

theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh

[slasherscream]

really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

[glitchdecay]

Natsuki Is So Much More Than His Ditzy Behavior: Part 2

In June of Natsuki's route in Repeat LOVE, Natsuki explains why he applied to the idol program at Saotome Gakuen despite being lauded as a genius violinist — and later violist — in his childhood.

The dialogue text is pretty long, so it'll go under the cut.

Note: I transcribed the Japanese manually from the Switch port, but I'm only human. All translations are my own.

―Japanese―

【来栖　翔】:「おかえり〜。じゃねぇよ、この天然スケコマシ！まったく、お前は昔から……」 【来栖　翔】:「あ…………。悪い……昔のことは、あんまり言わない方がよかったか……」 昔？ 【四ノ宮那月】:「ん？……昔って？」 【来栖　翔】:「だから……ほら、あれだよ、小学校ん時のさ……ヴァイオリンのコンクール、控え室……一緒だったろ、俺と……」 【来栖　翔】:「お前、ぼけっとしてて、自分の出番も忘れてて、でも、ステージに立ったら、女子にキャーキャー言われてさ……」 【来栖　翔】:「それから……その……。すごかった……。俺なんか絶対勝てないかっこいい演奏だった……」 【四ノ宮那月】:「んーーーーー？おかしいですねぇ。記憶にありません。確かにヴァイオリンもやっていましたが」 【四ノ宮那月】:「翔ちゃんと出会っていたら絶対覚えていると思うのに……。うーーん」 【来栖　翔】:「てんめぇ、俺なんか、眼中にねぇってことかよっ」 【四ノ宮那月】:「そ、そうじゃなくて……ごめん。あの頃の記憶ってすごく曖昧で……。だから……、自分でもよくわからなくて」 【来栖　翔】:「お前がヴァイオリンやめて、ヴィオラをやり始めたって聞いた時もショックだったけど……」 【来栖　翔】:「でも、お前のヴィオラを聴いて、悔しいけど、感動した。だから、それでもいいかって思った」 【来栖　翔】:「それなのに……。なんで……。なんでそれすらやめちゃったんだよ」 【四ノ宮那月】:「それは……。それは……僕が弱いから……」 【来栖　翔】:「え…………？」 【四ノ宮那月】:「ヴィオラはとても奥深くて……。どれだけ頑張っても自分で納得のいく音は出せなくて」 【四ノ宮那月】:「でも……みんなは僕の中途半端な音を褒めてくれて。それで十分だって……」 【四ノ宮那月】:「僕がどんなに違うって言っても、誰もわかってくれなくて……。誰も僕のしたい音を教えてはくれなかった」 【四ノ宮那月】:「答えのない道をただひたすらに進むのかとそう……思ったら、すごく怖くなったんだ。その道は果てしなく長くて、遠い……」 【来栖　翔】:「……那月……」 【四ノ宮那月】:「ホントいうとね。今も怖いんだ。アイドルが歌うのを見て、すごく楽しそうで、僕もあんな風に音を楽しめたらって」 【四ノ宮那月】:「そう思って、この学校を受験したんだ。でも……。歌にも正解なんかない。自分で作っていくしかないってって気がついた」 【四ノ宮那月】:「でも……。でもね……。今、僕はひとりじゃないから」 【四ノ宮那月】:「あなたが……。そして翔ちゃんがいてくれる。誰かがそばにいて、一緒に悩んでくれる」 【四ノ宮那月】:「それがすごく嬉しくて。頑張ろうって……。頑張れるって思ったんだ。今度は答えを見つけられそうな気がするから」

―English―

Kurusu Syo: Don't "I'm back~" me, you airheaded Casanova! Jeez, you've always been like this. Syo: Ah...... Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't talk about the past. The past? Shinomiya Natsuki: Hm? The past? Syo: Like... You know, back when... we were in elementary school... At a violin competition. We were... in the same waiting room, you and me. Syo: You were spacing out and forgot your turn. But when you got on the stage, all the girls were screaming for you. Syo: And then... You... You were amazing. I thought I'd never win against your performance. Natsuki: Hmmmmmmm? That's weird. I don't remember. It's true I used to play the violin, though. Natsuki: But I'd totally remember if I met you back then. Bummer. Syo: So you didn't even pay attention to me, huh? Natsuki: That's— not what I meant... Sorry. My memories from back then were a blur... So... I don't really know myself. Syo: It was a shock to me when I found out you quit playing the violin and started playing the viola... Syo: But when I heard your viola, even though it was frustrating, I felt so moved by it. So I wondered if you were okay with that. Syo: But even then... Why... Why did you quit that too? Natsuki: That's... Because I'm weak... Syo: Huh......? Natsuki: There's so much to the viola... No matter how hard I worked, I couldn't play the way I wanted to. Natsuki: But... everyone praised my half-hearted playing. They said it was enough... Natsuki: No matter how much I said that wasn't it, no one understood me. No one could teach me how to play the way I wanted. Natsuki: When I... thought about continuing to devote myself to a path without a destination, I felt so scared. The path seems so long and endless... So far away... Syo: ... Natsuki... Natsuki: To tell the truth, I'm scared even now. When I saw idols singing and looking like they were having so much fun, I thought I could be like that too. Natsuki: That's what I thought, so I applied to this school. But... there's no right answer in this kind of music either. I've realized that I have to make it on my own. Natsuki: But... You know... I'm not alone anymore. Natsuki: 'Cause you're here... And Syo-chan, too. There's someone with me to think things through. Natsuki: It makes me so happy. When you say, "Let's do it together," I feel I can do it. Because this time, I can find the solution.

From the conversation, you can see kid!Natsuki felt lonely as a genius violinist, so he decided to move to the viola, but it didn't work either. It pained him to keep playing string instruments because things weren't working out for him.

[hella1975]

the closest ill ever get to being a pick me girl is the joy that fills me when the chefs at work so clearly favouritise me. like im there nicely cleaned up in my smart-casual uniform just a 20 year old waitress smiling my customer service smile and behind me spawns Scary Dog Privilege 10x in the form of several burly middle-aged chefs at least three of which have criminal records and would all stick a bread knife in someone for bothering me

[irradiatedsnakes]

i think? it's been said there's going to be more exploration of the teen/aya vers of the characters in the pnf reboot and i am dreading that for a number of reasons but especially the relationship between a 17/18 year old and a 26 year old whose fucking idea was this

[clonerightsagenda]

The thing about college AUs is that they often focus on students and fail to realize that at many higher education institutions the employees are this close to breaking out into open warfare. A W359 college AU where they are students would not work. A W359 college AU where they all work at a community college and still want to kill each other the same amount would be entirely believable.

[bookwyrminspiration]

i applied for a $13000 a year scholarship and got it btw. if you even care

[ramayantika]

Oh my god. Krishna are you trying to give me what's destined for me and is good to me by giving me whole lot of tears and pain

[roobylavender]

do you believe Bruce is emotionally abusive? ik fans prioritise physical abuse and ultimately ignore emotional abuse tactics like parentification etc because it’s not “that bad”. I don’t believe Dick ever resents Bruce for letting him be robin (he’s grateful for it) , but in ntt he mostly resents him for being emotionally closed off, and rejecting him as a partner. Bruce worries for his kids safety so he pushes the whole “if you’re not perfect you’re dead” mentality onto Dick which ultimately is harmful to him. He’ll never regret being a hero but the rift between the two isn’t just a “we want different things” scenario but more that they’re incapable of giving the other what they want.

bruce being emotionally closed off from dick is what’s revisionist about that version of canon though. i think bruce can be bad at communicating sometimes esp when he’s deeply pained (like in knightfall, for example) but for the most part he and dick are shown to have great communication for decades before new teen titans and the adjacent post crisis starlin canon starts to rewrite that dynamic into something else entirely. per that version of canon i do believe he’s emotionally abusive but it’s not a version of canon i particularly appreciate bc it requires overriding the dynamic they had previously where they could certainly be prone to disagree at times but bruce was nonetheless willing to have an open and understanding conversation with dick about whatever the disagreement was. even the whole idea that bruce is responsible for dick believing that he has to be perfect or he has to be dead is one that new teen titans cements (or that issue of batman where bruce makes dick quit and jason is introduced thereafter)

i get that it’s easy to take new teen titans as gospel bc it is in essence the textbook source for dick but i think there should be some awareness too of how it twists that relationship between them and not necessarily for the better. i’m not opposed to bruce having faults he has to answer for. i absolutely agree he’s not cognizant enough of the complexes dick develops as a result of wanting to be seen as an equal, and thereby can’t realize the effect it has on dick for him to still be protective and fearful even if it’s ultimately out of goodwill and love. and there’s also the fact that even if he gives dick the space he desires to lead his own life it doesn’t mean he should be hesitant to reach out bc he’s afraid he’ll overstep by doing so, as a parent he should reaffirm his love for dick regularly regardless of knowing he might get some pushback bc dick is growing into his own (again, knightfall is a really superb example of this). but i also think those are tensions you can wholeheartedly explore without rendering bruce into a controlling and abusive figure, and i’m not sure who it benefits to write bruce as such in the long run

some of dick’s problems have to be his own, and he’ll never escape bruce’s shadow if the only source point of issues in his life is his relationship with bruce. that’s something i would actually apply to the robins at large. hardly any of them are allowed to explore problems entirely unique to themselves and i think that’s in large part bc writers simultaneously portray a mildly to explicitly abusive bruce at their leisure while refusing to ever actually address the elephant in the room that is literally of their own creation. a lot of people believe the bruce shouldn’t be an abuser argument is framed entirely as a resistance to bruce’s character assassination and for me i can admit that’s part of it, but a more pertinent part of it should also be the fact that bruce being written as an abuser is what truly chains his children to him forever to the point that they can never grow beyond that abuse bc writers refuse to allow them to. imagine the problems the robins could be addressing individually in their lives if not everything came down to them being fucked up bc that’s the way bruce raised them or failed to thereby. there’s a lot about the robins as individuals that’s deeply interesting and i think it’s not just a disservice to bruce but to them as well to write the relationships this way bc it obscures their own agency and ability to be explored for more than a haunted legacy narrative

[bunkernine]

society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

[moregraceful]

put 712 of the worst words ever put in a google doc tonight BUT! it is 712 more words in the google doc than i had yesterday. this fic will be more than 2k, so help me god

[sunsoak]

I’m starting to think that nothing is as serious as people try to scare you into thinking it is

[spinoff-antithesis]

(muth being music theory!)