#when i come back home ill prob go straight for a nap first before i maybe draw these out

[enden-k]

thinking about kvthm pretending theyre dating kept me awake for so long, i managed to get 2 hours of sleep before my alarms went off- im looking forward to go to work now <3 (they both ruin my life)

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

[coloringmysensescherryred]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I went to Japan, graduated college, started teaching English in South Korea, and dated a Korean guy - a year full of traveling and adventures! 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I had two resolutions - eat better so I didn’t feel like I was gonna shit myself so often, and to stop looking for love and let it find me. TBH I followed them both - shoutout to Korea for helping me with them! Korea’s food is just much better on my internal pipes in terms of health, and the boyfriend thing kinda just happened. I’m more proud of myself for ending it when I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t forcing any sort of relationship, it happened organically; so I’m pleased that I stuck to my guns.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope! Most of my friends aren’t even married yet! (Not that you can’t have a baby without being married but ya know.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank god.  

5. What countries did you visit? Japan and Korea! 

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? I would like to have more confidence to straight-up tell people when they are doing things that make me mad or irritate me or that I don’t like. That is my new years resolution this year. 

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 23rd - the day I got my email saying I got into Fulbright! and June 7th - the day I left for Korea for a full year. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Fucking picking up my entire life and moving to Korea on my own. Like I have so many friends here in my program, but I was basically coming alone because I knew that I would be separate from them when we went to our placements after six weeks. 

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know, I felt like I succeeded in all the ways that mattered? I guess my biggest “failure” was confessing my feelings to my crush and him having to let me down because he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn’t ready (altho I think he did like me tbh). So all things considered, that is a pretty good track record for an important year. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope! 

11. What was the best thing you bought? Netflix?? I had had it for like six months before Korea buutttt it has been a fucking lifesaver for me abroad. It’s a way to hear English from native mouths when I live in a homestay and don’t get to speak English with native speakers that often. It’s also great to do on traveling (like on trains and buses). Bless up to a great monthly investment. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? BURG, aka @officialff7remake. Homeboy was there for me when I was freaking out about MP or thesis or boys and just to pal around and drink with. The tightest of homies and I can’t thank him enough. <3 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? I guess my Korean ex, Huijae? He literally had never dated ANYONE before me, Korean or otherwise, and he while he meant well, he had no emotional intelligence and really did things that bugged me and patronized me and was trying to be manipulative? and I didn’t need that shit? So I got out of that relationship after holding back my own feelings for too long and I’m so much happier and I don’t really talk to him anymore (he has texted a few times after we broke up to ask if he could come visit my host family because he “missed them” *eye roll* but i haven’t let him and he goes off to military service in like two weeks so I think i’m in the clear). 

14. Where did most of your money go? FOOD. I literally just buy food in Korea. Oh, and train tickets to go to Seoul or wherever. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? IT by Stephen King. I was fucking so hyped about it and luckily its release date in Korea was the same as in America so I saw it the night it came out! Also, obvi Fulbright and teaching in Korea. :) 

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? 빨간맛 by Red Velvet and DNA by BTS! Two songs that I have heard OVER AND OVER in korea and I still love them. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier (or about the same - I was done with first sem and my thesis and had gone to Japan so I was probs p happy back then too), b. thinner! (I have lost like 10 or 12 lbs in Korea - wasn’t trying to but the food is just less fattening I think, and I walk more and go to an aerobics class like 3 or 4 times a week!), and c. richer! I’m not rich rich by any means but I have more money from fulbright than I was making as a waitress. :) 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Idk - I did really what I wanted second sem of school, like hanging with MP and drinking and having spontaneous fun, and saw all the people I wanted to before I left for Korea, but I guess I wish I had done more solo trips in Korea? I want to do more before second sem starts too, and I want to visit my friends in their respective cities more because I didn’t get to do that so much in the fall because of my stupid fucking ex always coming to my town and taking up every literal weekend. I wish I was joking about that but it was bad. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spend less time napping! I like naps but then I feel like i miss out on things, as well as have trouble falling asleep at decent times on school nights. Also, I wish I had spent less time being miserable about my relationship and ended it earlier. I gotta put myself the fuck first this year. 

20. How did you spend Christmas? I spent an early Christmas on the 23rd with 6 Fulbright friends in Gwangju, and ended up getting drunk and dancing at the airbnb with all the other tenants for the night! It was really fun. I then spent actual Christmas eve and day at a hotel with my host fam and close family friends, just seeing the ocean (in the freezing cold) and eating seafood stew. I was glad to be with them but I missed home SO fucking much during that time. I did Skype my fam on Christmas eve morning so I saw them a little! 

21. Did you fall in love in 2017? I don't know if I can call it love, but I had a serious crush that was more than just infatuation with a guy in my last sem of college. I didn’t know what I wanted because I was leaving America and he was still a sophomore but I just knew that I could see us together, and it didn’t work out but I still have hope for the future. And with my Korean ex, it wasn’t love at all but I did like him so there’s that? 

22. What was your favorite TV program? In terms of things that I watched in 2017 that I really liked? Breaking Bad, Dark, Stranger Things season 2, and Rupaul’s Drag Race!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My ex? Yeah, it’s petty, but whenever I talk about him or see his picture I get mad. I guess that only half counts on this bc I didn’t know him this time last year? But I don’t hate anyone else. 

24. What was the best book you read? It by Stephen King. That thing is a fucking masterpiece. 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Sam Smith, biiiiitch. His newest album is all amazing and I slept on him for too long! Like I knew he was good but this new album is amazing.

26. What did you want and get? I wanted Fulbright and I got it! 

27. What did you want and not get? I wanted to be with aforementioned crush but it was bad timing. Win some, lose some, live & learn. 

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I CAN’T CHOOSE

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Going through second sem of senior year knowing I had a job after graduation? 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? it has changed a little since coming to Korea in order to try and not stand out so much? I have switched to more solid color tops rather than lots of prints, and I dress more demurely? Like less cleavage showing because that’s how koreans do (not that I am against it, but I’m just tryna fit in). 

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? All the drag queens from Drag Race but especially Trixie & Katya? Ummm also BTS but what is new. ;) 

33. What political issue stirred you the most? everything trump and his administration do and the net neutrality repeal. :( 

34. Who did you miss? I miss my dogs and my mom and my sister and Brian and Cannon and grammy and my MP friends. <3 Being in Korea away from them has been really hard sometimes.  35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. If you really want something, strive for it. Keep your expectations low, but believe in yourself and what you are capable of shining through and getting you what you really want. <3 

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “don’t you get lost in nostalgia, no” - Lost in Nostalgia, The Maine

“take me with you / cause even on your own, you are not alone” - Portugal, Walk the Moon