#when i tell you this is my favorite podcast i am not kidding with you

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

You have to also wonder how long Tony had to sit in wardrobe because it must have taken a good hour to paint on those jeans. Talk about nothing to the imagination. It was like.. -Will Tight tight jeans. -Rider He must have had to butter up his legs to get into those jeans. -Will And He's got like a cowboy belt going...Like a nice belt.  -Rider Man just nuts. -Will Just nuts? -Rider ....Tony's the whole package. -Will [Everyone laughing] 

[sssilverstoned]

reminiscing ꩜ ln4

type: instagram/twitter au

Fans suffer days leading to love's holiday without their favorite couple.

lily said: hi! my first fic here, my first social media au ever, hope u enjoy :) will be a part 2 and 3..maybe more as well. whatever my heart desires and such

call her daddy podcast, 2/6/23

alex cooper and special guest: y/n l/n

y/n l/n: my friends keep trying to get me on dates, but i don't know, i'm just too much of a homebody right now. trying my best, but i'm rusty.

alex cooper: right, and i totally don't want to bring it up, if you don't want it out, but...

y/n l/n: no, it's totally fine. and yes, i'm single. it's one of those things i figured people will start to pick up on, it's kinda how life like this goes.

alex cooper: like a microscope on your relationship?

y/n l/n: exactly. made stuff super stressful, especially since we started dating when we were 19.

alex cooper: shit, 5 years is longer than i thought!

y/n l/n: we grew up together, had so many highlights and growing pains, and i don't want to get on your show and wallow or pout, that's really not what i feel. and i hope no one thinks anyone did anything wrong, it's just a growth thing. some people, as they grow, grow differently. and apart, i guess.

alex cooper: but you still have love for each other, i know that for sure.

y/n l/n: i'll never ever lose that love, i don't think.

Liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,264,997 others

landonorris Quite a birthday today! Another year around the sun, another year of me kissing your face. Love you the most.

user1 yassss OUR girlfriend!

yourusername To the moon and back baby!!!!

yourusername Not pictured: his slobber on my cheek

landonorris You quite like my slobber, no? oscarpiastri I surely don't

user2: you two really are growing up together :')

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Liked by zendaya, kendalljenner, and 1,754,132 others

yourusername Sweet boy took me for a picnic, had too much wine hahaha. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, my heart is singing!!!! 23, woah am I close to getting old?

user1 SWEET BOY oh you people are sick

landonorris The most stunning girl, even napping

landonorris and yes you're old now user2 CORNYYYY (i'm ready to end it all) user3 "you're old now" and what are you??

emrata Wine's always a good idea

bellahadid happy birthday baby! come visit soon

user4 does that say lando on her necklace . i'm gonna snap soon

sza Loveeeee. U my favorite, Happy Solar Return!

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Liked by alpinegoss, paddocktea, and 16,821 others

f1gossipcentral submission from a fan today in monaco:

i met lando today with a few others, he was so nice! we didn't want to ask flat out about y/n, he actually brought her up in passing when someone mentioned being from the same hometown as her, and he pointed it out himself. he didn't have the same energy we're used to when speaking about her, but it's obvious there was love in his voice, a lot of it. he's still got her friendship bracelet she made him last year on, but i think it's the type you'd have to cut to get off. regardless, i hope the best for him, and her too.

user1 you're telling me just the name of her hometown and he BLURTS about her?? AFTER being broken up??? yeah we're never seeing pearly gates atp

user2 is this what a broken home feels like?

user3 SHATTERED home. and yes. user4 y/n lando please. come home the kids miss you

user5: single y/n...don't hate me but i would love a baddie era

user6: oh this is not a safe space for you.

View more comments...

[mellifiedprincess]

This was wrote very quickly, sooo not really sure if it’s good or not :/

“Good morning campers! I’m your host Nick Sturniolo.” There’s a slight pause before your eyes drift over to your boyfriend. “Matthew Sturniolo here.”

“Chrizzz.”

“And welcome back to the Cut the Camera podcast.” You can hear the joy in Nicks voice as he continues the intro. Your head is placed in Nicks shoulder, arms wrapped around one of his, in search of comfort.

Usually, you find comfort in the arms of your boyfriend. But not today. Today he and Chris have betrayed your trust, and therefore you are forced to cling to Nick against his free will.

“Of course I can’t continue without explaining why Y/N is glued to my side. For those who are not watching this on youtube, normally Y/N and Matt would be sitting together. Being gross and all that, but not today.” Nick pauses, looking at you before switching his eyes from Matt to Chris.

“Would anyone like to explain?” Before either of the boys can even think about speaking, your body lunges forward to grab Nicks mic. “Matt and Chris are evil spawns of satan and deserve to be put in solitary confinement.” You glare at the stupid laughing idiots sitting across from you and sink back down next to Nick.

“JESUS Y/N/N!” Chris can barely get words out from laughing at your outburst. “Kids wanting us locked up.”

“Nick! Make him shut up before I punch his stupid face.”

“Alright sweetheart.” Nick laughs and gives your arm an affectionate rub.

“Chris cut it out. Leave her alone.” Matt finally speaks up, his lopsided grin giving away the fact he finds the current scared state his girlfriend is in to be amusing. His eyes meet yours and even though he knows you’re not seriously upset with him, he still wants to apologize profusely and shower you with affection.

“Will you please come over here and sit by me?” He pleads with you, but you’re not having it. “No!” You huff out and squeeze Nicks arm even tighter.

“Ohhhkay, moving on.” Nick interrupts before things escalate. “The reason Y/N and Matt are mad at each other-“

“I’m not mad at my girlfriend. I miss her and want her over here with me!” Matt cuts Nick off with a tone one could only describe as…pouty. “Maybe if you didn’t try to paralyze me with fear and send me into cardiac arrest, I wouldn’t be over here with Nicky praying on your downfall.” With that you cross your arms and purse your lips, that same glare from earlier back.

An audible whine leaves your boyfriend’s lips. A whine. He was actually trying to kill you.

“Can I tell the viewers what happened? Or am I gonna keep getting interrupted?” After everyone finally quiets down, Nick continues.

“So, many of you may not know this about our angel of a friend Y/N, but one of her biggest fears is things/people running at her.” You can clearly see the amusement on the triplets faces, because of how ridiculously funny the situation is to them. It wasn’t to you though. “It could literally be a baby crawling towards her super fast and the girl is screaming and frozen with fear.”

Before Nick starts to speak again, Chris starts laughing uncontrollably once again. “Remember when we went to that haunted house thing for halloween and at the end, like after you make it back outside, there was that guy holding a chainsaw-“ You already knew what he was talking about, one of the scariest moments of your life.

“Christopher don’t!” Your tone is one of warning, and your eyes widen at the memory that haunts you daily. (Dramatic much?)

Of course, that fucker continues anyway. “No wait, this is one of my favorite Y/N/N stories. Chris has to tell it.”

“You traitor!” You point an accusing finger at Nick, who only laughs at you. “I can’t trust any of you!” You quickly move to sit by Matt after that, a satisfied grin makes its way onto his face and he wraps his arms around you as soon as you’re next to him.

And as soon as your body falls into his, any fear you had diminishes instantly. Like your body knew the safest you would ever feel was anywhere in his proximity. You feel his lips press against your temple, before making its way across your cheek, and then finally turning your head a little to give you a proper kiss on your lips.

“And the barf mobile has arrived.” Nick deadpans. “Fuck off.” You and Matt deadpan in unison.

“Alright when I come running at you with a chainsaw, don’t say shit.”

The image of Nick running at you makes you curl into Matt’s side even more. “Alright, stop scaring her. She literally won’t sleep tonight and will probably make me go with her to the bathroom every time she has to use it.”

“You’re funny if you think I’m not making you go with me to the bathroom after the shit you and Chris pulled.”

Matt can only grin down at you, he was just happy that you were back beside him. Codependency is a bitch <3

“Alright, back to what Matt and Chris did to Y/N. Y/N, you wanna start the story off?” Nick directs the attention on to you and you start playing with Matt’s fingers as an anxious habit.

“Let’s start off with the fact, I was in the middle of cooking dinner for these idiots and I thought I was still the only one home.” You watch Chris cover his mouth to try to hide his smile, ultimately failing.

“I heard something from downstairs and thought maybe Chris left his patio doors open and an animal got in. Wouldn’t be the first time. So, I put my investigation skills to the test and went to see what it was. Anyone want to guess what it was?” You pause for dramatic effect, looking around the table for a moment.

“It was my lovely boyfriend and dumbass best friend standing at the bottom of the staircase with creepy ass masks on. And as soon as they saw me they start running up the stairs towards me!” A shiver of fright runs through your body at the scene replaying in your head.

“And what did your fight or flight instincts tell you to do?” Matt asks, already knowing the answer since he saw it firsthand. “I don’t have fight or flight instincts. I have freeze instincts. BECAUSE I WAS FROZEN FROM FEAR!”

And at your outburst, the three brothers start laughing uncontrollably, Matt earning a slap to his chest as his body shakes from how hard he was laughing.

“And what makes it even worse is when my body finally registered I needed to move my fucking ass, I ran to our room and immediately called Matt.”

“Awe baby, I’m so sorry.” He’s quietly laughing now, pulling you even closer to his body. “I promise I won’t scare you like that ever again.” You cut your eyes at him and plants a kiss to your cheek, trying to convince you.

“Maybe not intentionally, but Y/N/N literally gets scared if you look at her for too long.”

Chris was right, but he didn’t have to call you out like that.

“I will hide every can of pepsi you bring into this house.” You threaten and watch as his mouth drops open in shock, before he fucking. starts. staring. you. down.

“CHRIS! Cut it out!” Matt yells at his younger brother when he realizes he’s trying to scare you again.

“You are all very bizarre.” Nick shakes his head and gets ready to move on to the next topic.

[hismercytomyjustice]

I feel like I should issue a blanket apology for anyone unfortunate enough to have to deal with me over the next few days (and the past few) because I’m out of Adderall and the ADHD is running fucking wild.

Please keep my piano teacher and therapist in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult (for them, HAHAHA) time, as they also have ADHD and two people alone in the same room with ADHD is a dangerous combo.

…as evidenced by my chitchatting with my piano teacher for almost half an hour after my lesson yesterday…

IN MY DEFENSE, he started it! I just…did not finish it… BUT I DID WARN HIM!

I think most of his students are literal kids, so he gets to hardcore geek out with me about music (though most of the time he leaves me in the dust). He plays trombone and trumpet and piano and is super into jazz and I’m super into classical, so we get lost on a lot of tangents.

I did manage to rein in the impulse to go hardcore into true crime territory tho. I feel like I should get a non-participation trophy for that lol! BUT, AGAIN, HE STARTED IT. How is your response to me telling you some of my favorite local restaurants to bring up a murder at a local restaurant??? *checks notes* Ohhh, the ADHD strikes again…

SIR. I cohosted a true crime podcast for two fucking years because I could not shut the fuck up about the subject!

Bad news tho, my therapist is super into true crime. And we are also TERRIBLE about tangents. Especially when it comes to talking about the research and stuff behind OCD and ADHD and all.

Christ, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been off Adderall this long and I forgot how all over the fucking place my brain can be. Just playing hopscotch in my noggin I guess. Or the floor is lava. Maybe both at the same time!

BUT. It has also been an impromptu experiment of sorts because FUN, *checks notes* CORRECTION NOT FUN, FACT! ADHD meds can exacerbate OCD symptoms! Because WHY WOULDN’T THEY?! Can’t make my life too easy, now can we!

God knew I would be too powerful if I were mentally stable… ╭( ･ㅂ･)و

SO, YEAH. SORRY. CAN’T FOCUS FOR SHIT RIGHT NOW. And am unfortunately making it EVERYONE’S FUCKING PROBLEM.

[wrongcaitlyn]

I WABT TO KNOW ABT KAYLAAAA. Tell me every single little hc u have for her pleasee🙏🙏🙏 I love her sm and the underatedness of her character is crazy. Tyt or canon anything pls😁😁😁

AHSDHFSDJFSD OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. I LOVE HER. SO MUCH.

i made a post abt her music taste (in talk your talk, but could also be canonverse tbh) on her tyt birthday here - and now onto some other hc's

(AND LITERALLY SHE DESERVES SM MORE ATTENTION SHE IS SUCH AN ICON)

canon: (most of these are taking from my will series bc i put in a lot of cabin 7 hc's into there but that series is mainly focused on will!)

pretty sure this is canon or at least like a universally accepted hc but she was closest with michael, and having lost him hit really hard.

i also think even though she's younger, she arrived at camp before austin, but they both arrived at pretty close intervals so after the battle of manhattan, they were treated as a pair and went pretty much everywhere together

kayla and austin arrived just before the battle of the labyrinth

kayla was already better than most of her siblings at archery when first arriving at camp because darren had taught her - and she already knew she was a daughter of apollo when first arriving bc darren was one of the few parents who, like, knew who her dad was - and he told her before she had to leave

and speaking of darren, they're very close. i tried to convey that in tyt too but i just love a good healthy father daughter relationship and they have that!!

coach hedge brought her to camp

eventually she stops dying her hair green and switches it out for a few different colors, but then reverts back to green a few years later because it's her favorite

she often complains about teaching archery lessons because she's not the greatest teacher, but she's also the best of the apollo kids at archery - but when she eventually finds another apollo kid who's pretty alright at archery she jumps to get away from that role

however she does becomes cabin counselor after will because of seniority

i think she had longer hair when she was younger that darren always put up in two french braids, but then on her way to chb something happened that made her have to chop it off. then she realized she liked it better that way and kept cutting it shorter

talk your talk!

KAYLA AND NICO ARE CONCERT BUDDIES. i feel like i've already said that. but i love it. kayla "uses" him to try and see the artists backstage after the concert or get vip seating, but she's also a total pit girlie and will arrive at the venue hours early to get barricade (am i projecting? maybe)

most avid tiktok user, up there with leo with her social media addictionsdkf

is very easily recognized in public due to the redhead/green hair dye combo- and even though she's a pretty niche celeb she still gets recognized in public a lot

yet she still refuses to change her hair dyeJSDF

nicknamed "Daughter of Apollo" for obvious reasons

i mentioned this in my music taste hc's but she can sing. like. insanely well. she could've been a singer if she wasn't committed to archery. i think it's kinda funny bc i bet that when darren and apollo were still dating they had some kind of bet on which field kayla would go into (with no doubt that she'd be in some way famous) and so when apollo heard her sing at karaoke night for the first time he was like "goddamnit i bet if i had been in her life i could've convinced her to be a singer"- but not completely seriously bc like ofc he's still incredibly proud of his daughter

lovessss to be on podcasts. let her yap!!

she went to a very small (im talking like total <15 people in her class) private school in canada (paid for by apollo) because of all the media frenzy (even though it had mostly died down). that, along with eventually moving in with apollo and going to another private school, made it really hard for her to learn how to socialize / make a really solid friend group (totally not projecting again). i touched on this in ch 7 of greatest of luxuries but she had a hard time fitting into her "friend group" who didn't really contact her after she left - and she jumped at being homeschooled. michael is her first real friend and they are very much grumpy & sunshine coded, but michael really does care for her like a little sister after a while (aka like 10 minutes)

she is just so very youngest child codedLKSJDF

thank you for the ask!!! i absolutely ADORE kayla she deserves everything <3

[cornie-heesan]

Part One: "Leave me out in the forest to rot"

Staring| non idol! Bang Chan x fem!reader

Featuring| Other members of stray kids as supporting characters

Started| April 30, 2024

Ended| ???

Part| 1/???

Word Count| 789

A/N| This is going to be a multi-part fic where each chapter will come with it's own set of warnings to adequately fit each one.

pt. 2| All of my writings are works of pure fiction. In no way are they representative of the idols mentioned in them. If you don't like them, don't read them.

pt.3 The writing style of these parts will vary depending on the situation. Some parts may be written in 3rd person 'You' form or through the perspective of a narrator.

WARNINGS| none really, besides cussing because I am the way I am. This part is short. Trying to ya know, set the scene with this series lol

There are certain things that some would consider the simple joys in life. For example, reading a book, painting a picture, or even listening to a favorite podcast. However, those who do not enjoy some of these activities would rather you suffer a horrible day and spill an entire hot pot of coffee where coffee is not intended. 

Y/N is one of those simple pleasure kind of people- whereas her coworker Jeongin is one of the world’s biggest haters of her happiness. This is how the three opening baristas of The Cup House start their morning. Agonized screaming, cursing, and a whole batch of coffee wasted.

“Yang Jeongin, I swear to god when I get my hands on you- your ancestors will detest your very existence!”

“Fucking bite me, Y/N! I am not listening to that stupid podcast anymore!”

Felix watches in pure horror as the youngest of the baristas throws a dirty dish rag at Y/N- only adding fuel to the fire. From his couple of months working here, Felix has determined that the relationship between you and Jeongin borders on homicidal siblings. If one of you is worked up, then the other is right there to make it worse than it needs to be. 

“Guys! We literally open in two minutes!” Felix tries his best to start cleaning up the coffee around the two of you bickering- next thing he knows you’re standing behind the counter in nothing but the lacy bra you told him about over the weekend. 

“I swear to go Jeongin when I tell Mr. Kim about this bullshit he’s revoking your access to the fucking tips.” 

All the commotion leaves all three baristas too distracted to hear the bell above the door. Y/N and Jeongin are bickering back and forth as Felix tries to hand Y/N a dry shirt to cover up with before any customers, let alone their boss see what’s happening.

“Wow… When Han said there was interesting service here, I didn’t think he meant this.” There’s a low whistle that causes the baristas to freeze- before turning to the two men on the opposite side of the counter. Jeongin and Felix recognized them as two of the employees from the music store across the street- a place they frequented often on their shared days off.

Y/N tries to keep her blush at bay when her eyes met those of the purple haired customer- he grins sheepishly trying to keep his eyes at a respectful level. Damn this man and his cute fucking dimples. Y/N snatches the shirt from Felix before glaring at Jeongin "Fuck you, Innie," her shoulder checks his as she storms by- blush crawling up her neck.

"Did we just witness a breakup?" Changbin snorts leaning against the counter "If I ever dated Y/N- I want someone to leave me out in the forest to rot." Jeongin scoffs before turning towards the kitchen to make a fresh batch of coffee. Chan watches him wide eyed before meeting Felix's already exhausted eyes- "They are friends through Y/N's younger brother. So like, by proxy they have to dislike one another."

Chan slowly nods, "but, why was her shirt off?" still confused about what The Cup House was all about "IN, spilled an entire batch of black coffee on her. I didn't stop their fighting in time to stop the strip show, unfortunately." Felix sighs grabbing the cups for their regular orders.

"I'd smash" Changbin smirks in the direction Y/N wandered off towards before a heavy slap landed on the back of his head "Shut the fuck up Bin,"

"Wait," Han stops the music playing throughout the store "You guys walked in and Y/N just had her shirt off?" He can't believe that "The one day I don't offer to go get the coffee!" He yells before getting a response "Dude, she didn't even spare me a glance. I doubt she would've noticed you with the way she was going in on Innie," Changbin snorts

"But she's so mommy when she's yelling like that" there was no hesitation with Han's response. He's always had a bit of a thing for women who yell and degrade him. Chan's eyebrows furrow as he looks away from his laptop. "You two need professional help," he says while grabbing his headset to pull over his head.

"Goooood morning, ladies and gents it's Chan,"

"Binnie"

"And ya boy Han- thanks for tuning into 3racha. All things music and a little bit about our personal lives," at this Changbin snorts "More like ninety-five percent our personal lives and five percent music."

"So, here's my first question out for the twitter audience- how would you react if the cute barista across the street was just serving you in her bra?"

So, this is part one. I wanted to use this as an introduction to the series. Also, to introduce the personalities- somewhat- of all those involved. You'll learn a bit more about the personalties of Chan and Y/N the further we get into this.

[thenumber-e]

Wifeyyyyy! Tell me about Craig's sports Hobbies? Or Hobbies in general:3

ok feeling shitty rn so this’ll (hopefully) get my mind off of stuff

anyways oh boy there are SO many of these that i have this is gonna get long i think

starting off with sports, i feel like he’d be an active guy. not like gym bro buff craig kinda stuff you see, he’s definitely a lanky beanpole. but i feel like he does a few sports so has a bit of muscle

first off, basketball. i’m a truther for this one, i don’t see it a lot tho. like, i hc him as being pretty tall, and i don’t have much like canon advice to back this up but that and the fact that there’s a basketball in his garage in tsot- but i think it jus fits him tbh. and also because it’s funny, he’s a total fucking loser nerd, but since yk i’ve gotta stick to canon sometimes, he’s technically popular and attractive, he definitely has like a jock alter-ego or smth stupid like that LMAO

he definitely seems like a hockey guy. like- the enforcer is so him. he’d totally wanna beat people up just cus he can. also i think he’d be a really good skater- i think he’s a pretty well balanced person physically. also, i see kyle as doing hockey, and they’re definitely close. i just see them being friends making sense, so now theyll have a sport together. also- because im insane, ike does hockey too and kyle and craig help him practice

i believe i’ve seen this once, but yk. i always see boxer tweek and don’t get me wrong i love that, but i feel like craig would continue doing martial arts afterwards too. like he’s canonically a violent and angry guy, but he’s kinda mellowed out, and i feel like that’s him just holding it back or smth cus he gets in trouble alllll the time. tweek also probably scolds him for it. but i feel like it would be a good way for him to get out any extra emotions, because he is NOT good at expressing those. also, back onto lanky criag, he’s got long limbs, and i feel like that’s good for someone to do martial arts (trust me im projecting) also, that’s also why he has good balance i feel.

alright, done with sports, just normal hobbies.

starting off, he’s 100% a music guy. i see stuff about him preferring podcasts over music, but i see him as a total music guy. in @panicatthecourtx more recent posts, she kinda went over that stuff, but because yk, im the craig ceo i’ll go over it too. i call it dad rock cus thats what my dad listens to, but he definitely listens to nirvana, ac/dc, weezer, that kinda stuff. he’s just a nerd. but i feel like he’d also have music as a way to vent in some sort of way? idk if it makes sense this is just how my brain works, but when he’s stressed, overstimulated, or just down in the dumps he zones out and just listens to music. he’s also just a nerd

space, duh. he could go on and on about that shit for hours. he can make every constellation, am every galaxy, all the nebulas, and basically anything. especially black holes. they fascinate him, he finds them so interesting and yk. is a nerd about em. ik it doesn’t really tie in with space stuff but i’ll put it here, he definitely loves conspiracy theories, especially ones about aliens and stuff. he thinks of his own all the time. especially about other space related things. also, back to conspiracy, death absolutely fascinates him. he just want to know what happens after that.

this is a basic one, but sleeping. he’s the heaviest sleeper ever, literally sleeps 24 fuckin 7

he’ll never admit it, but he kinda likes school. not because he likes sitting around all day or listening to teachers drone on and on, it’s because usually he can talk about things. in classes he enjoys, it’s his favorite thing ever. i also see him as that one kid who literally never studies or pays attention and yet has all A’s in every class.

he’s 100% a reader. he can zone out and not lay attention to anything. he gets lost in books all the time and it’s so nerdy but he loves it. it’s almost like an escape from reality which he likes. he’d never admit it, but he frets stressed pretty easily so he enjoys the way to just be alone in his own world. this also ties in with the music hc- he probably listens to music while reading. he also just zones out a lot in general

this also kinda feeds into music headcanons but he skateboards. he just gives me 90s grunge/kurt cobain vibes and youll never change my mind on this. he thinks he’s so fuckin cool but he’s just some random ass lame kid but he gets away with it cus he’s mildly popular or whatever. but he definitely has a little mini skateboard for stripe

why do these headcanons keep feeding off of each other? i dont know but yk its ok. craig fucking loves mini things. it’s definitely iconic, cus my craig is really tall and has big ass hands. but small things remind him of tweek (my tweek is like 5’8 so compared to him yeah kinda short) but he’s just gay and loves anything and everything that reminds him of tweek

i’ve also realized i don’t need a really detailed description for everything so yeah uhh (don’t mind this it’s my train of thought)

he collects shit he has the most random stuff in his room. random lego pieces he found that he thought were cool, a shit tom of rocks, different leaves, little trinkets, anything space related, stickers, just stupid stuff. those are just the basics, but he has soooo much stuff

he loves making detailed lists and ordering them and stuff

going on hikes he loves hiking he just loves the outdoors tho

stargazing is a must. he loves it and has specific times and places for them

from like a singular scene in like on episode, he plays the fuckin violin cus he’s cool like that yk. because friends, he and wendy practice together- a friend headcanons that she plays the flute, so yk it works.

hanging out with friends is a must. especially clyde they have the bromance ever they’re so lovey dovey best friends

it’s like 2am and i’m getting lazy so here ya go this isn’t even half but alas it’s ok so have fun with my stupid ass spews ty for ur time

[zukkacore]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ANYTHING ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE LOVERS UNIVERSE OR ANYTHING AT ALL

Hiiiii truly sorry friend this literally took so long!!!!!!!!!!!! b/c i sat here wracking my brain abt what tf i wanted to talk abt and i got all distracted by wanting to finish Biggest Lie and. i decided to just do what i did last time and. Just go over everything that was a reference or not to something else within Almost b/c I do think that is the easiest way to comb over this gd fic from head to toe. If i don't finish in one go I'll just reblog w/ additions and tag you in

"You're in love, aren't you?" / "You've been sighing all day" I've talked about this before, it's actually a pull from Howl's moving castle. Easily one of the most shameless things i've pilfered and it doesnt even really have a meaning, I just think the exchange is funny.

When J2 approaches, Porter Cliffbreaker lights up with the most insufferable, self-satisfied grin J2’s ever seen in his short life. “You’re early,” he practically purrs. - (In ch 3 for context. This is Porter seeing J2 for the first time.) Obviously we're continuing the Hadestown motif of "you're early" "I missed you". This is again part of the Porter n Jace whole Thing of like. Jace breaking up with him (not in the Big Break but you know). Obviously part of the reason Porter is being so smug is that he thinks Jace is coming crawling back to him. Lol. He thought, didn't he?

"I’m in the correct place, right?” / J2 turns to a tiefling girl in a plaid skirt and a ripped band shirt who is strapping bass guitar to her chest. “Hey, kid. Am I in the right class?” This is a weird pull but this is actually Twelfth Night to me, the scene where Viola first meets Olivia. I just think it's so funny when Viola comes in and doesn't know whether Maria or Olivia is the lady of the house. "The honorable lady of the house, which is she?" / "Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty—I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech—" etc etc. There's a lot of Twelfth Night influence just b/c there's a lot of like mistaken identity stuff and being in love with someone while they're in love with someone else etc etc all that good stuff. I also think the scene where Viola has to woo olivia is just like. Hot. To be fair tho, J2 is kinda doing the opposite here, he's letting Porter down easy abt the breakup. It's a loose pull but i like the idea of J2 being so out of his element he doesn't even know he's in the right place.

“ What are you?” “I… can’t say. An olive branch? A… A best kept secret, maybe. Between you and the guy up top.” “A secret?” “A parting gift.” But also “What am I?” “That. But also why are you here? A beat. “I’m…” Finally, J2 settles on, “A messenger?” and “It’s—he wants to insist he’s not at war, here.” “Well, that’s a damn shame" is so this Twelfth Night exchange to me:

^^^ to elaborate (sorry i didn't wanna type it out): Idk the viola n olivia vibes in this whole scene not just this part are so flirtaeous and i liked the mentions of war and divinity. Like Porter is the god of war and yet the clones existing as this kind of olive branch. And there's this question of What J2 Is. And there isn't really an answer to that. I liked this idea of him being a secret. A gift. The line "to your ears divinity, to any others profanation" was just. ough.

I'll do this like. It's a big block of text so:

The fluorescence flickers. Mindless, as if purely out of routine, he makes his way over to the sink, to the cabinets full of mugs and glasses. J2 spots Jace’s immediately—it’s purple, with a slogan from his favorite podcast. He snatches it by the handle and throws it against the floor, where it shatters into a million pieces. He thinks about Jaceprime, and about being Dispelled. Despite the fear he can feel rising in his chest, making it hard to breathe, he thinks for another long moment. What a satisfying crash. He wonders if his fear of oblivion is unique to simulacra, or if it's something Jaceprime also has to grapple with every day. He wonders about the weird glowing gem in his chest, and how Jaceprime always refers to a time Before, with him and The Big Guy, but refuses to say outright what happened. He thinks about Porter—and of rage. He stares at the shattered pieces of the cup on the ground. And after a moment of serious contemplation, he grabs another mug off the shelf, and he does it again.

Anyway^^^: That's a reference to The Haunting of Hill House! Both the show and the movie. Theodora says it in both versions. Here's the anecdote I love so much:

“When I was a child,” Theodora said lazily, “—'many years ago,‟ Doctor, as you put it so tactfully—I was whipped for throwing a brick through a greenhouse roof. I remember I thought about it for a long time, remembering the whipping but remembering also the lovely crash, and after thinking about it very seriously I went out and did it again

The variation from the show also includes something along the lines about "I learned a lot about my own mother that day. Taught her, too." which I completely forgot is such a movie special but. I think was also so vital to why I loved that line and wanted to include a nod to it. Like. I've already talked about this but i wanna reiterate that I do not feel bad making motherhood comparisons w/ Jace and the clones b/c he is their creator! He is their frankenstein! Anyway, the imagery of like, getting satisfaction out of doing something destructive, and then doubling down out. Even if you get repercussions from your parent. Or maybe because of that. Maybe spite is the motivator. It was so striking. I think we tend to get this perception of J2 as this soft baby boy but this is one of my fav moments of his because it's so impotent and petulant. It's so him trashing a bathroom to have some semblance of power. J2 has so little power, but he can destroy Jace's favorite mug! (also, yes it was a complicated woman podcast mug. Also in IYWD Jace mentions the fact that he started bringing crappy mugs to work bc his kept disappearing and this was kinda a nod to that.)

"I—Fuck, Porter! Why don’t you just tell me what to do!" Ok, this is also pretty broad. Pulling from a few things here. I mean. This is very Pearl-coded to me. I still think about that scene to garnet where she says "I'm useless on my own. I need someone to tell me what to do". Also Please don't laugh, I have an old Hugh grant comedy that's my favorite and there's a scene where the son is having an argument w/ his mom and when he says "Because we never have any discussions, we have an argument, and you always win! Why don't you just tell me what to do" and she goes "Because I want you to think for yourself!" and then he's like fine then mom its not up to you if hugh grant is my friend even if he did pretend to have a two year old son so he could sleep with the single moms at the single parent support group. I love this movie btw. which i've already said like the paternal connotations to godhood mean i don't feel TOO bad when Porter's vibe gets weird and paternal. There's also a definite "I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning. I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning fleabag vibe. I mean. Who said that.

“I—I’m not a consolation prize, Porter,” I think this is technically broad enough to not be a when harry met sally reference, but Sally does say this to Harry when he's trying to apologize to her and he's basically like "lol if neither of us have a date to the new york party we can go together" which. If that's not the vibe for whats going on. Filling in a spot because the other person is lonely.

“I want you. I’m only here for so long, and all I know is. I like you, ok?” and “I think you’re right.” J2 is working to keep his voice steady. “We both know that I was made for you. Literally. But more importantly… I like you. I know that much.” This is such a weird pull but this is such a Parks and Rec "I love you and I like you" (evil version) for me. I think there's such an interesting distinction between like and love. There's something so sad about J2 trying to insist, to me anyway, that he would also choose this even if he wasn't destined to love Porter due to being Of Jace. Love is destiny, but "like"? Like has the connotation of. Friendship. New feelings, innocence, juvenile. Just enjoying each other's company. J2 has so little, and he enjoys being around Porter. He loves Porter, but he likes him. It's... almost... adolescent. But it's also very. Forget the sweeping romance. I would do laundry and taxes with you.

“I like you, too, Bluejay.” I mean. Barely a reference but we all know Bluejay is so Hey, little Songbird coded from hadestown. I've joked about this but legit i was so so so so so terrified to give J2 a nickname to individualize him b/c i was so scared of completely blowing it. And I was just like. This is BARELY an individualization. He likes blue. Is that the dumbest thing ever. Obviously the concept of ownership is so prevalent in almost, and J2 is so comforts of a gilded cage coded. He's the precious gift, the one who learns to love the cage that Jace rejects. He's ESPECIALLY hey little songbird coded to me, b/c it's about Jace running away (Persephone) and Porter finding someone else to replace him (Eurydice).

“Hey. What’s with the silent treatment?” says Porter. “Cat gotch’er tongue?” Um. Hey. Little songbird. Cat got your tongue? Always a pity for one so pretty and young... No excuse.

I'll pair it with Porter rises from his desk, and J2 is in the embrace of his arms. and It feels so good being in Porter’s arms. and “I can make it go away,” says Porter, so softly—tenderly—even as he tightens his grasp on J2, secure. etc etc. Because that's not like. As on the nose but that's ALL Hadestown comforts of a gilded cage imagery. Someone who could love these walls that hold her close, and keep her safe, and think of them as my embrace. etc etc. Just. This idea of J2 running away from somthing and straight into the trap that was so heartbreaking to me. "Strange is the call of this strange man. I wanna fly down and feed at this hand. I want a nice soft place to land. I wanna lie down forever." etc. Even as he's getting this like. Horrible revelation about the truth of what Porter did to jace, and he's feeling this new fear that this could be him, he was built to find comfort here. He was raised to find comfort here. Porter wants everything. And J2 owns nothing, not even himself. "Seeing as you've got nothing to lose, and I could use a canary"

To go to something... maybe funnier? Maybe not. Again. Silly pull. J2 sniffs. Finally, he braves a look up, blinking back tears as he says, “Can… you just hold me a little longer?” Porter’s smile makes him forget all else. “Of course.” Like. This doesn't take place in chapter 7, but to me, this is the smoking gun that J2 and Porter were always going to sleep together (i mean, they already have, but in a Mega Turbo Detect Thoughts Sex Trick Orgasm Way). This is actually something from When Harry Met Sally! Sally says this to harry when she's crying about her ex getting married. And he holds her and gives her a kiss and this is the first time they sleep together. Like this is so Hurt/Comfort (evil version) of that scene to me, and the nature of like, comfort that turns into sexual tension is fascinating to me. And like. There's something so comedic and pathetic and cloying about the way she asks it too. Like. The desperation but also the slight comedy of it.

I'll also say, if you wanna read this into it too. I do this this is All I've Ever Known (evil version). "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I wanna hold you, hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Now I wanna hold you hold you tight, I don't wanna go back to the lonely life" etc etc

 “He still loves you, you know.” / Jace is... “ —A good guy,” he insists hard, / “I—I know we are… of the same. But—I don’t understand it. If—” / “Porter, gods, Porter, if I loved you the way my master loves you…” / "How does he love me?”  OK. So this entire scene is a little bit Handmaiden coded in that it's like. Ohhhh what if we were fucking and I was pretending to do this in service of teaching you what the person you're supposed to be with and what they would do this is just instructional i prommyyyyy.

But Also this whole Thing to me I was taking on a kind of. Like. Reverse Twelfth Night thing? Like, the concept is very much closer to Orsino and Viola's deal, in that Viola loves Orsino while Orsino loves olivia (Say that some lady, as perhaps there is, hath for your love as great a pant of heart as you have for Olivia! You cannot love her, you tell her so. Must she not then be answered?". "I am all the daughters of my father's house. And all the brothers too") But I do really like the idea of Viola having to convey the depth of Orsino's longing for Olivia by using her own pining for Orsino. That's littered throughout this scene. There are a ton of nods to the exchange. "How does he love me" is a direct quote. There's also this:

If I did love you in my master’s flame, With such a suff’ring, such a deadly life, In your denial I would find no sense. I would not understand it.

But yeah it's this idea of like. J2 is channelling jace and getting extremely horny about it. He's imainging the depth of Jace's longing and he finds it genuinely moving. He things Porter deserves that. but also. J2 is using his own longing here, and essentially giving Porter a gift because he knows the depth of that longing would mean more to Porter if it was from Jace. Which of these is the truth? Maybe both

"With adorations. With fertile tears. With groans that thunder love. With sighs of fire" This is the only thing that is like. A direct quotation of something Viola says in Twelfth Night, and I just think its so horny and honestly? Effective. Why ruin a good thing?

OK! Last one!

J2 is getting what he wants. He gets to be by Porter's side, despite the risk. (And in his memories, Jace looks so happy. Doesn't Porter deserve that, too?) So why does this feel like… death? Like he’s dissolving into snow—dissipating in the warmth of the sun? That’s how it works, right? He doesn’t know that much, but it feels true, doesn’t it? When your heart breaks, you should die.

Like.... Am i gonna get stoned for this? Do I have the right in invoke Tony Kushner? Do i deserve this? I'm being so real here, this is one of those "janelle is using paradise lost to talk abt jaceporter" things that just feels deeply WRONG.

Anyway. This is 100% and Angels in America reference. And I... It feels a little wrong to put Jaceporter fanfiction and such a beautiful piece of art in the same breath but here we are. The line is:  "I don’t understand why I’m not dead. When your heart breaks, you should die. But there’s still the rest of you." Like... I just think that line is so sad and beautiful. Am... Am I allowed to do this??? Like. It doesn't feel right. It felt right to put it there. It was so clear in my mind. It just felt so emotionally true... J2 is so green... And it's this like. Invocation that he's a person but he's a simulacra. he's animated snow. How does being a person even work. How does it work when you've been robbed of your purpose?

It's just. That's how it should work, right? When your heart breaks, you should die.

Anyway. Thank you for my long winded nonsense. Genuinely sorry this took so long.

[quietblueriver]

15 questions for 15 friends

Tagged by @gingerniiiija. Thanks, friend! This was super fun.

Were you named after anyone? I was. In good Southern (US) fashion, I have a double name that incorporates my grandmother's maiden name, which was also my mom's middle name and is now one of my niece's names.

When was the last time you cried? Today. I took one of my dogs to board at the same time that a pup was coming for their last vet visit and watching him surrounded by his crying family while an instrumental version of a Brandi Carlile song played over the vet speakers broke me. Managed to keep it together until I got to the car. Before that, Thursday during Critical Role.

Do you have kids? I do not. I do have wonderful nieces, and being their aunt is one of the best things in my life.

What sports have you played/do you play? I played church basketball and soccer when I was little. As an adult, I've played rugby but I tend toward activities like running, yoga, swimming, and hiking/wandering with my dogs.

Do you use sarcasm? Yes, in a dry humor way. My entire family is dry as hell, so it's a big part of my sense of humor, although I rein it in with strangers so as not to be a tool. I'm typically called a golden retriever gay, but one of the highest compliments I have ever received was one of my oldest friends telling me that Sister Michael from Derry Girls reminded her of me.

First thing you notice about people? I genuinely don't think I have a pattern here. Voice, maybe? Or smile? I do often appreciate and take note of people's style as well, especially shoes.

What is your eye color? Green

Scary movies or happy endings? Whichever has the better queer storyline

Any talents? I come in clutch in the following trivia categories: pop culture (non-reality tv); 90s country music/modern women of country; name that song; US history and politics and/or law; and queer things. Per my nieces, I am very good at the "funny faces" feature on FaceTime, a solid water slide escort, and an acceptable makeshift jungle gym. I have been told that I'm an excellent driver; I enjoy driving and have driven both a passenger van and a U-Haul up most of the East Coast of the US.

Where were you born? A military base in the United States.

What are your hobbies? I love writing, feeding/spending easy time with friends, reading (preference for fiction, poetry, and comics, although I do love some philosophy and theory as well), exploring good food and new places (solo or with friends, my own city or others), live music and theater, playing board games and Switch, watching tv and movies (my oldest niece and I see a movie every time I visit them in person and it brings me great joy), and being silly with my nieces. I'm a lawyer and a law nerd, so I also spend time following SCOTUS and listening to legal/political podcasts.

Do you have any pets? Two dogs, Annie and Buffy, a big doofy retriever mix and a tiny poodle-ish terror respectively.

How tall are you? 5' 8"

Favorite subject in school? Growing up, English/Lit, closely followed by History. At university, I majored in History and Gender & Sexuality Studies.

Dream Job? Obligatory note that I do not dream of labor. But I'm actually currently working on a career shift, so I'm giving this a lot of thought. I'd love to be a writer, journalist, professor, or preacher (last one is more complicated, for probably obvious reasons).

Would love to see answers from anyone who wants to do this! Tagging @korralone, @kasadilla11, @antlereed, and @overnighttosunflowers. Pls forgive me/disregard if you hate this, ha.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/21/2023

awful lot of cooking content from me, who hates cooking but finds the evenings jittery and boring

listening

Doorbell by Sterling Press, off the spotify weekly recced playlist. i don't know that i like this song. i don't know that it's particularly good. goddamn if it isn't catchy. alt britpop, they hate being compared to blur but mmmm. you do hear it. notes of ska as well. a song to blast in your car when your spring break plans fell through and you're driving to the good target two towns away from your hometown.

i don't think this music video could have existed pre-pandemic-- idk doorbell cams were that ubiquitous or well known, despite heavy advertising from nest.

from an interview:

Speaking about the new release, they said, “We wrote the song in our mates garage using drum samples off YouTube. We spent all night writing it then in the early hours of the morning drove to Maccies to have breakfast and had it on repeat the whole time. We all fell in love with it straight away. These lyrics speak to the importance of authenticity and sincerity in your actions. In a world where appearances and pretences can be misleading, it's a reminder to be true to yourself and to avoid trying to impress others for the sake of it. “I feel like its an experience we all share. We all know someone who goes off to uni or gets a new job and you bump into them on the street and they act as if they have no idea who you are. I guess this song is reflection of our frustrations towards those people.”

they have what i would consider an unusual amount of hype and presence for a band that has exactly three songs out, but they've all been making music together and separately since well before the pandemic so maybe they've just finally broken out? i can't figure out who these kids are related to. i don't think it's a full on industry plant but i do think someone's dad has some money.

a friend once said she hated how eighties songs faded out like a printer running out of ink, and i do not particularly care for how 2020s songs end with the entire band vanishing underwater.

this song is truly not that deep but it is thoroughly stuck in my goddamn head.

listening: special podcast edition

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me. i am taking through a brain thing and having a weird workflow and brain problem. i have tried other apps with browser support and do not like them, and i cannot have my personal apple id tied to my work computer bc i have and frequently use a work apple id.

i have been listening to podcasts through Spotify ever since mmm november ‘20. it has not been a good experience but juggling the Apple Podcasts app through my phone (distraction minefield) and whatever im listening to or working on with the work computer is a nightmare. ethics of spotify aside, it is a tremendously successful all in one listening platform. i do not have the brainspace to manage my own music library, and support my favorite artists in other ways.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

however, if you listen to enough podcast episodes, spotify does not seem to believe you when you tell it to unfollow a podcast. it just keeps letting you know hey this has a new episode. this got me stuck on a loop where i was listening to more and more episodes of two very prolific conspiracy theory debunking podcasts to the exclusion of almost everything else. this was not very good for my mental health.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

despite the real annoyance of finagling a very distracting phone and the work laptop, i have gone back to Apple Podcasts and (after weeding out a variety of podcasts for a variety of reasons) started listening to friends at the table again. not sure why i stopped but i felt a weird amount of guilt around restarting?? the tablefriends neither know nor care. i have finally finished road to palisade and am excited but nervous about starting palisade proper

-

reading

a local religious thrift store has absolutely rancid vibes but does regularly have 6/$1 book sales. there were a couple older trade paperback comics the last time: the first three volumes of ULTIMATE XMEN and a radom What If? superman.

my trouble with the xmen, and i have to read something from it once every two years to remind myself, is that magneto is right. they will never be able to assimilate into white picket fence middle america, or even among the liberal coastal elites or whatever the term du jour was in 1999. the box will always be smaller and you will never be perfect enough. i did not enjoy this enough to continue bc of this fundamental disagreement with most xmen comics.

also it looks like this. magneto’s lair has an arch in the shape of the arch on the front of his helmet and that was pretty baller, but there’s a real. what was they gimmick blog about all the comic book women in contorted spine-breaking poses? it’s like that a lot. WHAT is ororo’s body doing there

-

watching

hey. what the fuck do you mean tomato sauce is that easy. i dislike tomato sauce and almost exclusively eat jar upon jar of aldi brand pesto. im not allergic bc tomatoes aren't tingly but it's just sort of Nothing all the time. what do you mean it can be good???

i don't actually remember why i'm subscribed to mr internet shaquille. perhaps, like so many other food things, it's kali's fault.

-

playing

g/enshinposting.

pulled this horrid little brat. very pleased with myself.

i do not. love. her story quest. it falls into the childrens' media trap of Sometimes It's Okay For Other People To Stomp All Over Your Boundaries If It's For The Good Of The Group! or perhaps this is just a thing i'm particularly twitchy about. either way, annoyed that other characters of this importance have gotten some deeply moving writing and so far furina has...not gotten that.

the next character i am excited about is lolita taylor swift, or geo-aligned lady with big fuckoff sword. from some early maybe-leaks i think she would pair beautifully with my playstyle and my pirate lady with big sword. my playstyle is mostly brute force damage. i hit things as hard as i can until they fall over and i've played the entire game (with some exceptions that required actual thinking about elemental reactions) that way. it pleases me.

re: the conclusion of the annapausis sidequest, genshin does a really good job of teasing out "ok in a world with actual gods, what does spirituality look like/what are the differing views on fate/how do people make sense of an afterlife". mostly this is gnosticism. and sometimes it's a real life occultist secret society (reskinned Rosicrucianism). fascinating writing choices.

-

making

turkey cottage pie with scalloped potatoes, bc i had a five-pound bag of russets that were starting to sprout. im just going to yoink this pic i posted earlier bc it is now half gone and in tupperware form

this is the first time ive ever cooked in a dutch oven and im in love. i thrifted this for $20 some weeks ago but bc the lid has some chips and rust i haven't used it. which is silly, bc the body of the oven is fine. de-rusting and seasoning the lid will wait for a day when i actually need it bc for now we can get by with doubled-over sheet of aluminum foil.

used this recipe: only had a pound of ground turkey and liberally stretched it with potatoes (i think about three and a half pounds out of five) and three pounds out of a cheap frozen veggie mix bag. did not include mushrooms bc i did not like them. threw in some bay leaves bc i have a giant bag of them, i think i almost doubled the wine bc i doubled the recipe, but i do not think i remembered to double the beef stock. i also shook in a liberal amount of italian seasoning bc i have a cheap jar from aldi i want to use up.

the final product was somewhat soupy. i anticipated that slicing the potatoes was going to be the longest part (mostly true, i had to take breaks) and kept them in a big bowl of cold water to stop them browning while i chopped and after i blanched them. i also could have reduced the filling down some more but i am not a patient woman.

not as intended but still yummy, which was a lovely surprise bc usually when i fuck recipes up i fuck them up But Good. plus new technique (dutch oven). if i make this again (likely) i will do instant potatoes on top bc this was a fuck of a lot of chopping for one recipe. thinking about getting one of those stupid little hand smash veggie choppers bc a full food processor is extremely out of budget.

[lucidboba]

This is a vent post on the Lego Monkie Kid fandom and the show. I am in no way an expert on the Journey To The West book so take this with a grain of salt.

I am honestly so sick of the Lego Monkie Kid fandom spreading misinformation around and claiming they know everything about JTTW Sun Wukong as a character when half of them don't even read the book and just get their information from OSP JTTW and LMK.

OSP on their podcast already said they left out a lot of stuff from the book for their videos as it's a summary and might have made Sun Wukong seem more impulsive then he actually are and they encouraged more people to read the book instead so I don't blame them.

What I blame is the part of the fandom that keeps on acting like they know everything when they just watch a short summary of a very long and complex book.

I get it, LMK is different from JTTW and change the original story a lot as it's a kids show. You shouldn't have to read the book just to enjoy the show. But you shouldn't spread misinformation around about the actual book just because you heard it from somewhere and did little to nothing research and just read a couple of short analysis.

This happens mostly to Sun Wukong as there are people saying he was unjustly punished and he didn't do anything wrong or people saying he was a moster demon spawn that deserve his punishment even when Guan Yin had to step in to intervene or people saying he was dumb, entire personality is being impulsive.

He is the Intelligent Stone monkey, the Monkey of the Mind, the monkey that have knowledge of ancient medicine and cured a king, the monkey that almost managed to sued the Devarāja Li if not for the Gold Star Of Venus's intervene, ment to represent the mind in all it's clever chaotic glory. he was one of the top students under Patriarch Puti for goodness sake and was the one who solves most of their problems on the journey. He has his moments of being impulsive and dumb but not nearly as much as people might think.

Not to mention their favoritism of the Six Eared Macaque, they baby him as if he wasn't the representation of what Sun Wukong would be like if he actually didn't have any control and just did whatever he wanted. Now LMK Macaque actually is trying to help MK in season 4 which I am very happy about, but JTTW and LMK are very different. So please, if you want to say JTTW Macaque did nothing wrong, don't use LMK as source.

Now the show have some flaws that I feel need to be adress. The show deviates from the actual book a lot which I have no problems with as it's a kids show but how much deviations are you allowed to have to the point of being an bad representation of the actual book. They said they consulted Chinese experts on the book which sometimes you can tell but other times, it just doesn't feel like it.

But there are also some fans that spread nonsense around and because they have a lot of followers everyone just believes them without more research. It made the show just feel like another bad adaptation in a sea of plastics that just so happens to float above the rest of the bad adaptations the book have gone through.

Which is a shame, you can tell a lot of thought and hard work have been put in the show with it's stellar animation, amazing voice acting, beautiful soundtracks and some actual moments that can put you to tears. But I wish the fandom would stop taking information from the show and stop saying it's exactly like the book. It made just enjoying the show and interacting with the good part of the fandom with it's beautiful fanart and great discussions harder to enjoy when all you can think about are the inaccuracies people are spewing around about the actual book.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my long rant. I really needed to get this of my chest.😮‍💨

I might rephrase this at a later date if I'm unhappy with it.

[sydsaint]

WarDaddy Time Babes!!

Summary: The reader is MJF's sister and a replacement for RJ City on his podcast show, Hey! ew. Her special guest for the show is Wardlow, and the pair have instant chemistry.

"Thanks again for setting this whole thing up for me, Max. Turns out that you're actually useful for some things." You tease your brother while one of the camera crew attaches your microphone.

Max rolls his eyes at you an scoffs. "Yeah well, I knew that I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't." He insists. "Have fun. I hope that you embarrass yourself."

"Me?" You laugh. "Please. Never gonna happen little brother." You wink at him.

Max rolls his eyes again and walks off since his work is done for the night. You adjust your blouse once the audio team is done and wait for your podcast guest to arrive.

A few minutes later, a large shadow is cast in the small room. You glance at the doorway where your special guest awaits you. Wardlow.

"Wardlow, hi!" You walk over to him with a friendly and confident smile. "Damn, you are fucking tall." You laugh when you have to crane your neck in order to look him in the eyes. "I hope that my brother didn't give you any trouble when he asked you to be on the show."

Wardlow smiles down at you and chuckles. "Not at all. I've actually been looking forward to meeting you, Y/N." He admits. "Friedman used to go on about his evil sister all of the time."

"Evil, huh?" You grin. "Well I wouldn't say that exactly. But I guess that Max had to learn all of those backhanded tactics from somewhere right?" You joke. "Come on, lets get you mic'd up and then we can get the interview started." You usher him into the room.

Wardlow nods and the audio team get him wired up for his interview. You retrieve your list of questions that you wrote up earlier and take a seat in your chair. Wardlow sits down in the chair next to you and the camera crew signal that they are ready to record.

"Hello! And welcome to, 'Hey! EW', my name is Y/N Friedman filling in for RJ City while he's busy being less cool than me." You snark. "I am sitting here today with the current AEW TNT champion. Everyone's favorite muscly hunk, Wardlow." You nod to Wardlow. "Now Wardlow, tell me? How does it feel to be my current favorite man in AEW after your shocking betrayl of my own brother, and resident pain in the ass scumbag, Maxwell Jacob Friedman?"

Wardlow attempts to hide a laugh and shifts in his chair. "Umm, I have to say. Yeah, it feels great. Thanks." He tells you.

"Oh no thanks needed here, big man." You laugh. "I think that we can all agree that you were doing the world a favor with that one." You insist and glance back down at your paper. "Now you grew up in a very small town, which apparently is home to the 3rd largest Amish population in the country. How was it growing up Amish?" You joke with a serious look on your face.

Again, Wardlow stifles a small laugh. "Well, I wasn't really Amish growing up." He admits. "But I did know a lot of them as a kid." He adds.

"Now I assume that when you say 'knew them,' you really mean that you freelanced as a workhorse for them?" You quip. "You know, raising barns and carrying lumber? Things like that?"

"Uh, yeah sure. I guess you could say that." Wardlow nods.

You rattle off a few more ridiculous question that you've got written down. But Wardlow seems to have a good answer for every one of them. The chemistry in the room is at an all time high with every back-and-forth exchange.

"Now according to my sources, you claim that you strive to up the numbers in AEW's female demographics. As well as their 19-40 demo's as well?" You ask Wardlow the last question on your list.

"Yes." Wardlow nods.

"Well." You uncross your legs and lean forward in your chair. "It just so happens that I am a member of both of those demographics. So please, pitch me your case for upping these rating." You ask him.

Wardlow nods, a grin playing on his face. "Alright." He agrees and gets to his feet.

You watch with your hands folded in front of you as Wardlow gets up and carefully pulls his shirt over his head. He turns to the camera and does a couple of flexes before he turns back to you.

You remain stone-faced at the impressive display. "Okay, solid point." You nodd at him. "But what if I'm not convinced?" You challenge him.

"I bet that I could lift and hold you on one shoulder no problem." Wardlow replies without missing a beat.

Before you can get a reply out, Wardlow hauls you to your feet by the arm. You get pulled to your feet and he does as promised with very little effort. You are hauled up and set on his left shoulder with ease and you finally break character and let out a laugh.

"Damn!" You laugh as Wardlow sets you back down on the floor. "Well a girl certainly can't argue with that." You sit back down in your chair.

You finish up the interview and strip off your microphone from your blouse. Wardlow lingers around after everything is finalized so you walk over to him to chat.

"Well, that was definitely the funnest interview that I've done." You laugh as you approach him.

Wardlow chuckles and nods in agreement. "Yeah, I had fun." He admits. "You know, you are way more fun than your brother." He jokes. "And prettier, too."

"I get that a lot." You giggle. "Hey, if you aren't busy. You wan't to grab some dinner with me?" You ask him.

"Sure." Wardlow grins down at you. "I could eat."

[qveerthe0ry]

Get to know me tag 🤍

omg I'm SO late but thank you @perotovar for tagging me 🫶🏻

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope. My mom almost made my middle name the same as my dad's but backwards (which is a common enough name on its own) but when he found out why he made her change it because he hates his middle name lmao

2. When was the last time you cried?

Literally over a tik tok a few hours ago, a dad was brushing his older daughter's hair (like older teens I think?) and telling her that she's beautiful because she was saying her hairline looked weird and it was just so sweet

3. Do you have kids?

I do not, but I do want to have at least one! I'm stressed about being pregnant though, and the economy is not kid or house friendly rn, so that's a couple years in the future

4. What sports do you play/have played?

I played little league baseball, and then dabbled in tennis, and now I play disc golf just casually with friends and family. I really want to get into pickle ball though.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Never.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hair

7. What’s your eye color?

Dull ass blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I actually haven't watched a scary movie in years because I had a panic attack watching Doctor Sleep and am too scared to revisit, but I used to LOVE them. Happy endings for me now ig

9. Any talents?

I play guitar and bass (rarely anymore)

10. Where were you born?

West Virginia!

11. What are your hobbies?

video games, writing, reading, and disc golf I guess counts?

12. Do you have any pets?

no :( pet deposits are theft. I want a dog so bad though, and sometimes I get to dog sit the cutest little weenie dog named Ollie when his parents have to go out of town 🥰💖

13. How tall are you?

5'2" (shut up I actually hate it I used to be the tallest kid in class until 5th grade and then I literally haven't grown an inch since)

14. Favorite subject in school?

English obviously in grade school, but in college I fucking loved my WGST classes and religion classes.

15. Dream job?

I would love to get paid a shit ton of money to make a podcast. Like yes please let me just talk about dumb shit with my friends, talk about myself, and share my opinions for money.

Open tags because I think all my mutual did this already and I don’t wanna annoy anyone as usual lol

[trollprincess]

I’m so incredibly mad that I haven’t been able to work on a novel in so long it feels like a completely different person wrote all of the fiction that has my name on it. Like, I’ve been working on the podcast and that requires creative writing as well, but the one thing I want to do before I die is get traditionally published. I self published on Amazon, but I want to actually have an acceptance from a real publishing company. I’ve wanted it since I was a kid, and it’s one of the few things I wanted when I was a kid that I still feel like I could get.

(It’s that and a dog, at this point. And the dog is asleep at the end of the bed.)

I mean, at this point I almost want somebody to grab me by the shoulders and just tell me what to write. Somebody order me to write something. Come to my house and sit me down at my computer desk, and don’t let me get up until I’ve written you, say, 5000 words of the sort of novel featuring questionably consensual and illogically sized PIV sex scenes strung together by a thin plot and a lot of shirtless men tall enough to reach the good shelves in the grocery store that everybody on TikTok seems to want to read right now.

Well, in any event, tomorrow I am off to the store to buy brown shipping paper and tape so that I can try and get back into my favorite WIP and finish the motherfucker.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Data

By Ames

It’s the man you’ve all been waiting for! He’s one of the most popular Star Trek characters of all time. He teaches us humanity and friendship and science. He’s the outsider character of his series and uses his unique perspective to open our eyes to the world and the people around us. And he loves cats! No wait, we already spotlighted Commander Spock. Just kidding. I’m, of course, talking about Lieutenant Commander Data!

It’s hard for us at A Star to Steer Her By to narrow down the best moments from our android friend because he gets to do so damn much between The Next Generation series and movies, and he’s also my personal favorite character on the show, but we’ve somehow managed it! So use your positronic brains to read on below and listen to our discussion on this week’s podcast episode (tricorder scan to 1:03:10) to see where we drew the line. Saddle up!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

You are fully functional, aren't you? As we mentioned in our Picard spotlight, “The Naked Now” has the strangest mix of great and terrible character moments, and I couldn’t not include the incredibly hot Data/Yar romance that it created. It’s just nice to know that Data is programmed in multiple techniques, a broad variety of pleasuring. And later, the physical acting we get from Brent Spiner in that lean and fall was great!

My thoughts are not for Tasha, but for myself While the rest of “Skin of Evil” and the anticlimactic death of Tasha Yar aren’t really our cups of tea, we do have to admit that the tribute scene at the end is moving and well done. And that final moment when Data and Picard talk (even so briefly!) about the point of the ceremony and how empty it will feel without Yar… I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

Tied game, we’re going into overtime I also have to give Data credit for all the times he uses his big android brain to solve a problem, an advantage he has over pretty much any other character. For example, when he busts Sirna Kolrami up in a game of strategema by forcing a constant stalemate in “Peak Performance,” it feels like a win because he thinks outside the fluorescent holographic box!

One android with a single weapon Every so often, we also see Data in command, questioning his leadership skills or having difficulty connecting with his peers (more on that one in a second). But when he’s the only one who can survive the radiation on Tau Cygna, he takes charge to get its colonists to leave by blowing up their aqueduct in “The Ensigns of Command.” Try withstanding Sheliak attacks now, losers!

Thank you for my life While some of us on SSHB didn’t care much for Lal, you’ve got to admit that all of Data’s actions in “The Offspring” are on point. From questioning why he shouldn’t be allowed to create life, to letting his offspring self-identify, to keeping her out of the hands of Starfleet, it’s all good parenting. But what takes the cake is the heart-wrenching farewell scene after he tries to save her.

He who dies with the most toys… is kind of an asshole While we don’t get the cathartic release of Data phasering the hell out of Kivas Fajo in “The Most Toys,” we do get to take some pride that he is capable of overcoming his ethical subprogram to do away with someone who really has no right existing. When Geordi says that he detects a phaser firing in the transporter beam, you know he just needed a fraction of a second more and Fajo would be toast.

Your request for reassignment has been noted and denied Like in the afore-mentioned “The Ensigns of Command,” Data has some trouble adjusting to command when he takes control of the Sutherland in “Redemption, Part II.” It sure doesn’t help that his racist XO Hobson undermines his every decision, but that doesn’t stop Data from single-handedly foiling the Romulans’ plan and telling Hobson exactly where to shove it.

I've never been to a better funeral When it’s apparent that Geordi has been killed in a transporter accident in “The Next Phase,” Data grapples with the loss of his best friend in a very touching way, similar to how he mourned Yar as we mentioned above. And before he solves the puzzle of the episode and saves them, Data throws the best funeral I’ve ever seen for La Forge and Ro! People are just dying for a funeral like that!

The most human decision you’ve ever made We gave Picard a lot of accolades when we discussed his standing up for Data’s right to live in “The Measure of a Man.” Data gets a similar moment in “The Quality of Life” when he refuses to trade the lives of the Exocomps for those of other beings. It’s a nice episode of paying it forward, and we also get to see the scientific method on high display when he and Crusher deduce the little guys are alive.

Radioactive. What does that mean? Speaking of the scientific method! Even with his memories wiped in “Thine Own Self,” Data is able to piece together why the radioactive materials are hurting everyone in the village on Barkon IV. And with that clear slate of mind, we see that in all forms, Data is curious, caring, and willing to help people who are in need, even if it gets him speared in the back a little bit.

Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature… We’d be remiss if we didn’t bring up Data’s beautiful relationship with his cat, Spot. As everyone on SSHB is a devoted cat person, we found it a treat whenever we saw Data interacting with Spot, testing which food she’d like, and writing cat poetry. The best might be when Data reunites with her after the Enterprise crashes in Generations AND he has the emotions to appreciate it!

Resistance is fully functional We noticed in our TOS spotlights that it’s in the movies that most characters get to shine, and First Contact is that chance for Data. His scenes getting tempted by the Borg Queen are dead sexy and you can’t tell me otherwise. And his betrayal of the Collective by purposely sparing the Phoenix and then fumigating engineering to kill Borg Queen are the climax we all needed. I’ll be in my bunk.

—

Worst moments

I am stuck Especially in the early seasons, Data got used to make bad fish-out-of-water jokes. It was a silly habit the show had of depicting him as naïve about human culture even though he’s lived in it for years (and has the memories of the Omicron Thetans when the show remembers). Seeing him get stuck in a fingertrap in “The Last Outpost” is just such an example of dumb sight gags to make him look goofy.

I can’t use contractions, sir This is just a pet peeve of mine that could have been fixed so damned easily. Listen, writers, if you’re going to make it a plot point that Data can’t use contractions in episodes like “Datalore” and “Future Imperfect,” then be consistent. Run an apostrophe search in Microsoft Word and replace them, because in episodes like “We’ll Always Have Paris” when he states “It’s me,” it pisses me off.

Take my Worf, please! Don’t worry, we’re not done pointing out all the bad jokes told at Data’s expense that we see throughout the series (oh god, and just wait for the movies). And it’s a shame because Brent Spiner himself has such great comic timing and delivery, but when you make his jokes so obviously idiotic like in Ames’s least favorite TNG episode “The Outrageous Okona,” we cringe so hard.

Is anybody out there? We mentioned this one in our prime directive chat before, since Data just tramples all over it, but “Pen Pals” has some good discussion on the pros and cons of the situation. But that doesn’t excuse Data for making the decision on his own to get involved with the Dramen people, much less to bring Sarjenka onto the bridge (for crying out loud), necessitating a Pulaski mind wipe!

One seven three four six seven three two one four… There are a handful of times in TNG that we find it a terrible idea that Data (or any single being) has as much power as they have, considering how often they get possessed by things or duplicated by other things. So when Data single-handedly takes over the Enterprise in “Brothers,” disrupting the mission to save Willie Potts’s life, because Soong hacked into his brain, we raise eyebrows.

Jilting by association While I could joke that Data ever introducing Miles and Keiko was a mistake (and I have!), there’re still a lot of bad moves he makes regarding their relationship in “Data’s Day.” When he gets stuck in the middle of their nuptial stress, he’s so clueless how to handle the situation and keeps making things worse when, frankly, Miles and Keiko should have kept things to themselves.

Who programmed the book of love? Moving on to even more lousy relationships: Data’s brief, unnecessary romance with Jenna Desora in “In Theory” proves to be just another example of too many “Data doesn’t understand humanity” jokes that we hoped the show was over by this point. But alas, he’s written himself a love program to basically treat the situation like a sitcom and we were done with it.

Point that thing somewhere else From the moment Data stands directly in front of Bashir’s mystery device in “Birthright, Part I,” it’s obvious he’s going to get zapped by it. Really, Data? You couldn’t have stood literally anywhere else than in front of what is clearly an energy beam? And the rest of the episode, we’re stuck going on a dream adventure, and you already know how I feel about those!

Stop it, stop it, stop it Like in “Brothers,” it just seems weird to have Data getting controlled by his kooky family members when it happens again in “Descent.” This time, Lore has given Data the emotions he thought he wanted all along, but it turns out the very first emotion Data embraces is sheer rage. When he takes pleasure in killing Borg, you know maybe emotions just aren’t for him, and yet…

Open sesame! …when we get to Generations, Data has a fully fledged emotion chip that really needed more testing first. We’re subjected to just way too many of those dopey Data jokes, from Open Sesame to Mr. Tricorder to cackling at a 7-year-old joke. And to add kidnapping and torture to insult, it’s when Data is having a particularly bad reaction that Geordi nearly gets killed by Klingons!

I have been designed to serve as a floatation device We’re not done yet with the Data humor (and just way too much humor in general that doesn’t land) in Insurrection. While this film really gives Jean-Luc his time to shine, the rest of the cast are treated like afterthoughts, including Data who seems to be around for punchlines, like remarking about how the women’s boobs feel firmer, and serving as a life preserver.

Going out in a blaze of failure Finally, I need to criticize Nemesis yet again, as I am wont to do. It’s just… Data’s sacrifice for Picard is so unearned. I’d debate that it’s worse than the Kirk sacrifice in Generations that we put in that Worst Moments list too. Most of it is probably the abysmal script. I’ll sum it up by saying this: if you can’t make me care that my favorite character died, you’ve done something wrong.

—

Now that we’ve found Data’s off switch, we can wrap things up this week. Don’t worry, we’ve got tons more character spotlights for the coming weeks, so keep your sensors here, journey over to SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts to follow along with our Enterprise watchthough, break the Prime Directive with us on Facebook and Twitter, and delete that comedian holoprogram from the computer!

[milfmacbeth]

Hi! Your top 5 best and top 5 worst endings of anything that you liked? Could be TV shows, books, movies, podcasts. Thanks!

hi!! thank you for the ask <3

i generally prefer tragic or bittersweet endings over unambiguously happy ones; this will be long; spoilers ahead (obviously)

best endings

hannibal

the wrath of the lamb fucking rearranged my brain chemistry. how do i explain to people that one of the most romantic things i’ve ever seen was a murder-suicide?

technically hannibal was canceled and not ended but in absence of a season 4, i will consider twotl the ending. i don’t even want a season 4 because i can’t imagine any better ending than the one we’ve got. yes, season 3b was a rushed mess of hannibal, will, and dolarhyde playing fuck marry kill with each other, but they stuck the landing so well, and it’s this perfect tragic mix of “this could’ve all been avoided” and “there’s no other way this could’ve ended”.

and yeah the ending is ambiguous and it’s implied they lived but my favorite interpretation is that they died in each other’s arms.

black sails

wars have been fought over the interpretation of this ending. i personally think john silver is lying but whatever your take, jack’s “a story is true, a story is untrue” speech is brilliant and it’s a perfect ending to a great show

fleabag

“i love you” “it’ll pass” I AM NORMAL. 

i love you, female characters written by women. i love you, comedy that turns into tragedy halfway through. i love you, clever use of narrative devices.

this show is damn near perfect, and even though the first thing i did after finishing fleabag was go on ao3 in search of thousands of words of fix-it fic, i wouldn’t change a thing about the ending. 

white fang

i wouldn’t say i have a favorite book, but if i had to answer that question it would either be the iliad or white fang. this is the book that got me into reading.

this book caught me at exactly the right time in my life. i was obsessed with wolves as a kid; i was 11 or so, and my grandma handed me this beautifully illustrated book that had the most amazing old book smell (because it’s been in a wooden attic up until then).

it’s about the life of a wolfdog (more wolf than dog) that was born in the wild but gets tamed/adopted into a dog pack that hates him because they can smell he’s not really a dog and hooo boy does something is wrong with you and others can tell that you’re not like them hit when you’re a lonely child.

anywayyyyyy it ends with white fang, having been adopted by a kind man, lying in the sun, still a little confused/out of his element but content. the ending is bittersweet and thematically fitting and he’s a good dog and deserves it.

the mechanisms

the mechanisms are a band of immortal space pirates telling stories of their adventures. their last album is titled death to the mechanisms and in the eponymous song , they realize they’re not quite as immortal as they thought they were. it’s sad, it’s funny, it’s beautiful, it’s poetic, and it’s a worthy send-off.

if you’ve got six and a half minutes, it’s worth a listen (even without context), if only for gems like “witnesses will say that they have never before seen someone so viciously excited to die” or “his body will float there forever, far beyond the warmth of stars” or “pointless, ignoble deaths the lot of them. but who that lived can really boast otherwise?” (this band is so quotable it's insane)

onto the hating!

worst endings

dexter

what the absolute FUCK was that. i adore this show but the ending sucks so much it feels almost malicious

supernatural

i’m not sure i can answer “do you like supernatural?” without a lawyer present. i was obsessed with supernatural as a teenager, then i stopped watching around season 10 or 11. i decided to rewatch the entire thing after november 5th. 

supernatural would be so good if it was good. i’m a “supernatural should’ve ended after season 5” truther but i admit that some of the later seasons do have their moments.

not the ending though. the ending is so completely beyond parody i don’t even know what to say. castiel is in superhell for gay angels. dean gets nailed by vampire clowns. when i first saw the aged-up version of sam i literally burst out laughing. at least the wincesties got a forehead touch out of it i guess???? i am so glad that i’ve built up enough emotional distance to laugh instead of rage about this because i know my teenage self would’ve had a conniption.

goethe’s faust and euripides’ orestes

they’ve got nothing to do with each other but i have the exact same beef with both of them so i’m just gonna throw them together. 

faust ending: faust loses his wager with mephisto and should’ve by all rights gone to hell but god says ????? (don’t even ask i’m not sure i could explain whatever twisted logic is going on there. something about faust using his devil-bestowed powers for good) and faust goes to heaven anyway.

goethe, my guy, you named the thing faust. eine tragödie. where’s the tragedy i was promised? false advertising. fuck you.

orestes ending: standoff between menelaus and orestes; orestes is holding a knife to hermione’s (menelaus’ and helen’s daughter) throat; this will not end well. or so you thought! at the last possible second, apollo swoops down and fixes everything, tells orestes to marry hermione and ???

nothing is satisfyingly resolved but hey, at least no one’s dead. except iphigenia, and agamemnon, and clytemnestra. this fucking family…

this is what the ancients called deus ex machina and what i call an ass pull.

i just think if you’ve constructed an entire narrative that follows a very clear, specific direction, you shouldn’t then swerve to the left. SEEMS LOGICAL TO ME

and it’s not just philistine bitching on my part btw. there’s actual academic debate about what the hell these authors were thinking. that being said, i’m a hater because i’m a lover, and i wouldn’t be so mad if i didn’t love both these plays

game of thrones

i am sure everyone has heard about how much the ending fucking sucks. from building up the night king to be a badass villain only to kill him in the ass-pulliest way imaginable in one (1) night, to walking back all the character development the characters went through to jon’s heritage being meaningless to having a thus far sympathetic dany snap and burn a city down over literally nothing to jaime and cersei being killed by falling rocks to brandon fucking stark, a character so uninteresting the show forgot about him for a whole season, sitting on the iron throne.

also, euron greyjoy is my favorite character in the books and i’ll never forgive the show for butchering him (i don’t know who the fuck that guy on the screen is, it sure ain’t euron).

one thing that i find fascinating is that it’s literally just the writing that sucks. the costumes are beautiful, the soundtrack is better than the show deserves (thank you ramin djawadi ilu mwah <3), the dragons look great, the actors are doing the best they can. highest production value piece of garbage ever made.

the magnus archives

(little warning bc i’m really mad about this so vitriol ahead. also, i have not listened to the magnus protocol and i’m not sure i ever will)

i yelled about this a lot and i’m ready to yell about this some more!! THIS IS A SEASON 5 HATE BLOG. i’m so serious it’s literally a better podcast if you ignore season 5 and act like MAG 160 is the ending.  jonathan ‘the archivist’ sims should’ve had a corruption arc and i will die on this hill, everything E V E R Y T H I N G pointed towards jon becoming a monster and enjoying it. it could’ve been so good!!! instead we got some formulaic bullshit, the concept of (and i cannot stress this enough) parallel universes introduced like three episodes before the ending, and the single shittiest romance i have ever been subjected to. the way martin treats jon is sooo fucking vile and yet the podcast is constantly like aren’t they so cute :) isn’t this soo romantic :) NO IT FUCKING ISN’T. he’s dating his shitty coworker who he doesn’t even like that much why exactly am i supposed to be rooting for this relationship jesus fuck i feel like i’m being gaslit. i don’t just have a notp i genuinely feel like jonmartin ruined the entire thing.

s5 also completely ignored jonah magnus who, apart from being one of the most interesting characters, is THE GUY THE PODCAST WAS NAMED AFTER. but yeah, sure, who cares about him? let's have five more episodes of jon and martin being fundamentally incompatible. 

and then there’s the ending where jon is the only one who stands up for what’s right. the podcast tries to act like keeping the fears in their world or releasing the fears are two equally bad choices but the latter is so clearly worse. so clearly the wrong choice to make. AND THEN THEY MAKE THAT TERRIBLE CHOICE FUCK THIS SO MUCH

tma season 5 is one of those cases where you can so clearly see the potential of something that could’ve been so great and they just threw that away AND FOR WHAT 

(ok i’m done yelling about this now. just kidding i’ll never be done)