#where do we fall into those pitfalls and how

[thebibliosphere]

One of the really fun and interesting things about writing a polyamorous romance as someone who is ambiamorous/polyamorous is finding new ways to make sure the narrative hits the expected genre beats without just sort of... mushing it into a pre-existing monogamous romance mold, which is what I'm afraid happens a lot of the time.

Trust me, it was my job in the publishing house to make them fit that mold. I hated it.

Reading other poly-centric romances, I can always somewhat tell when someone is writing polyamory from a sexual fantasy aspect (zero shade; I'm here for all the group sex) without actually considering how it functions as a relationship dynamic, which can often come off as... well.

It's lacking for me as a romance.

Erotica-wise, it's fine. But it misses the romantic beats for me that I want as a polyamorous-leaning person.

There's so much emphasis on the polycule and never the individual dyads within the larger relationship.

For example, in a triad, there are actually four relationships to handle.

The dyad between A + B. The dyad between A + C. The dyad between B + C. And the overarching relationship between A + B + C.

With monogamous-leaning authors or authors that've been pressed into conforming to the pre-existing genre beats, there's a tendency to treat the relationship as a homogenous mass where everything is fair and equal, and you treat all your partners the exact same way.

And I get it. It's easier to write everything as peachy-keen and to have external conflict be resolved with either acceptance or a brave confrontation.

But it doesn't always land for me as someone who wants to see my style of love represented in the genre.

In healthy polyamory, either closed or open, each relationship is unique in its own way. Taking the example of a triad again, the way A acts with C likely differs from how A acts with B.

And that's a good thing!

Because C might not want the same things as B, so trying to treat them both the exact same is a surefire way to make sure someone isn't getting their needs met, and that will lead to conflict.

Polyamory isn't striving for equality between partners but rather equity.

What are your individual needs, and how do I meet them, as well as meet the needs of my other partner(s)? What do you want from the larger relationship as a whole? How do we accommodate everyone without making someone feel neglected or uncomfortable? How do we show this in the narrative? How do we make sure character A isn't just treating B the same as C in every interaction? Do they ever fall into that pitfall? How do they remedy it?

It seems like common sense when you write it out like that, but it's a major pitfall I see time and time again. The characters never alternate their approach between partners, if there's any focus on the individuals at all.

The other major telltale thing I've noticed is that taking time to be with one partner is seen as a step down from the "goal" of the greater polycule.

The narrative is framed in such a way that they might start out with individual dates, but the end goal of the romance is to eventually be together 100% of the time all the time, and wanting individual time alone with any one partner is somehow "lesser."

Which is the goal of romance in monogamy, but it's not the goal of romance in polyamory.

Granted, you do need to end on a Happy Ever After or Happy For Now for it to fit the genre requirement. And a nice way of tying that up is to have everyone together at the end as a happy polycule all together all at once. I'm not disputing that as a narrative tool. I'm just pointing out that there's a tendency to present those moments as the sum total of the relationship when in actuality, there are multiple relationships that need to end happily ever after.

The joy of polyamorous love is the joy of multitudes. It's the joy of experiencing new things, both as individuals and as a polycule. If you're not taking care of the individual dyads, however, your polycule is going to crash and burn. You cannot avoid that. So why, then, is there such avoidance of it in stories meant to appeal to us?

Is it simply inexperience on behalf of the author? Or is it that they're not actually being written for us? Is it continued pressure to meet certain genre beats in a largely monogamous-centric genre? All of the above?

Either way, I'm having fun playing around with it and doing all the things we were warned against in the publishing house.

I'm having fun with Nathan and Vlad enjoying their own private dynamic that is theirs and theirs alone. I'm having fun with Ursula and Nathan being so careful and vulnerable around each other. I'm absolutely 100% here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula without a chaperone. And I'm here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula together and Nathan's fond, loving eye roll as he trails after them, too enamored to tell either of them no because where would the fun in that be...

Anyway. Don't mind me. Just getting my thoughts out while everyone else is in bed.

[eclecticmiasma]

Hello! Good evening!

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Mithrun and I had a small scenario pop up in my head, and it would be lovely to see your vision on how this would play out, please and thank you 💕:

AFAB!Elf!reader is a member of the canaries, very soft spoken and rather kind. The nicest, most likely. Against her better judgement she’s down bad for the captain and everyone else is like “pls no I’d rather you not”. (She can fix him/jk)

Mithrun realizes she has feelings for him and in a very subtle way treats her a little more gentle than the others. Lets her spoil him a tiny bit more. Listens to her a bit more.

Reader can only hope one day maybe…just maybe…the captain can show a little interest in her too 🥺 and is oblivious that he lets her get away with a little more than others

Just very soft feelings all over

I won't spoil it for those who haven't read the manga, but there are instances where we see Mithrun treat Kabru rather favorably and opening up in great detail about his past. In a side story, we also see that younger Mithrun cared for the other canaries quite a bit. I imagine that even without his desires, Mithrun would appreciate care shown to him in his own Mithrun-y way.

SFW

Mithrun might be adverse to you at first, because when he really looks inward you remind him of his younger self.

However, Mithrun would soon come to see that you don't have the same...pitfalls in your personality that brought him where he is today. He might even come to somewhat admire your ability to stay genuinely kind in a world like theirs.

The other canaries start to notice that you have a much easier time getting their leader to take an ounce of care in his own well-being than any of them ever have. Some of them think it's entertaining while others (Pattadol) think the favoritism is unnacceptable.

Cithis might tease him about it if you aren't around, "We don't want to worry poor [y/n] by getting all dehydrated now, do we captain?"

Even the mention of your name is enough to motivate Mithrun, though you remain completely unaware. In your mind, the captain regards you as nothing more than a subordinate.

You don't notice the way his good eye trains on you as you talk about life before the canaries. You don't realize how fast he falls asleep when you're near. The magnitude of the fact that one night he voluntarily tells you a story about when he and his brother were children slips by you completely.

Pattadol is the only one to ever bring it up to you directly, and you truly have no idea what she's talking about. None of the others help her either, preferring to sit back and watch how her face reddens with frustration.

Mithrun isn't oblivious to the situation, however. He knows that there's something about you that...calms him, at the very least. He's sharp enough to know that you feel the same way about him, perhaps even stronger.

He likes having you around. It's not something he wants when you're gone, but it's something he enjoys while you're there. Because he knows you have some type of feelings for him, he indulges you at every turn. He even lets you wash his back and massage the scarred tissue built at the tips of his ears- though you're terribly relieved he can't see the heat rising on your cheeks as you do so.

One day, long long after the dungeoneering is done, perhaps you might even be able to help Mithrun find his desires, find himself again.

*do not post elsewhere without explicit permission. please consider reblogging, as Tumblr tends to hide adult content!

[RULES] [MASTERLISTS] [AO3] [KO-FI]

[anxious-witch]

I think the reason why there are so many amazing ships in Dead Boy Detectives is because the show manages to show different versions of love/lust/devotion through different relationships all characters have.

Like, love triangles have been doing the whole "a girl has to choose between two guys who each being out a different side of her" for over a decade in popular media, some more, some less successfully. But the pitfall they often fall into is that those differences seem very shallow and often ignore the other aspect of the main person who have to choose between the love interests.

Dead Boy Detectives makes sure to not do that.

When we look at how Charles is with Crystal vs how he is with Edwin, we can clearly see the difference. In the beginning of his and Crystal's dynamic, he is flirtier and puts more if a bravado, but he pretty quickly opens up to her. Because he sees that she very quickly sees past his facade he puts up with his constant happy-go-lucky persona. Only when he starts opening up to her and showing his emotions does their relationship progress. Because after David, Crystal needs someone who can be emotionally vulnerable with her and in turn, Charles offers her the same, and offers her a safe space.

In contrast, we see that Charles is more at ease around Edwin. They know each other deeply, and are also woven into each other at this point. It's easy, like breathing. One thing it doesn't do is challenge either of them from the status quo they have built over the years. But there is a sense of ease there, and such devotion. There is no question about what they would do for each other because the answer is everything.

That said, while they both bring out different sides of Charles, those sides of him feel intricately linked to one another! Which is why Crystal coming into the pictures begins changing Charles' relationship with Edwin as well! It brings to light things they have ignored. And in turn, Charles' clear and unwavering devotion and loyalty to Edwin prompts Crystal to learn it herself. To quote Jenny in ep 8, "you were about to leave and never see these boys again, but now you are going to save them"? And yes, she does exactly that.

This even has influence on Edwin and Crystal's rs directly, which I can't recall ever seeing in a love triangle before, at least not in a positive sense. But it's so clear that Charles loves both of them that the other learns to love them too, and they realize their own similarities through it, too!

As for Edwin and his many love interests, well. I know there has been a lot of debate, especially around Cat King vs Charles dyankics with Edwin, but the thing is-you are comparing apples ajd oranges here.

The Cat King is enamored, fascinated by Edwin, and yeah above all, attracted to him. This dynamic serves to challenge both of their characters' beliefs and shake up the power dynamics between them. Whenever you like the Cat King or not Edwin clearly reciprocates the attraction part, at the very least.

Charles loves Edwin and is devoted to him and Edwin to him turn, as discussed above. What is difficult about their relationship is that it became stagnant due to lack of communication, which is why they needed other relationships to shake up that dynamic.

But to address the most prominent comparison I saw, which is the Cat King saying he'll wait for Edwin vs Charles going to Hell to save him.

Both are types of devotion, is the thing. A profession of love, if you will. To this day, we consider Penelope a faithful, loving and devoted wife for waiting for Odyssey for 20 years. Cat King saying he'd wait for Edwin isn't any small confession, given he is aware it could take decades, if not more.

Don't get me wrong, Charles going to literal Hell to save Edwin and succeeding where Orpheus and Eurydice failed is an enormous success and a way to show you love someone. I am not minimalizing that at all.

I am just saying that, for who these characters are and given their rs with Edwin, they did exactly what they were supposed to. They expressed in which ways Edwin had influenced them and what they can offer him if that dynamic becomes romantic.

Cat King represents experience, patience. As an immortal he has all the time in the world to wait for Edwin to return from hell, because he believes Edwin is strong enough to return on his own.

Charles represents love that breaks all obstacles in their way. He goes to save Edwin because he believes Edwin deserves to be helped in the way he helps others. He deserves to be saved.

My point is, there is no better of worse way of loving someone. The character in the love triangle choose the person that better alignes with who they are and who they wish to be as a person. So yes, you are absolutely allowed to say "I think this character would choose person a because it alignes better with their character development" but comparing the two as one being superior is kinda pointless imo? Exploring different dynamic of a character is the goal here, right? Either through canon or fanon.

...I was gonna talk about Crystal/Niko and Edwin/Monty too but this post got away from me to uhh. Might do another one if anyone is interested but in their way! I adore the way DBDA explores different sides of characters while still making them feel like a fully rounded person and doesn't shy away from letting one rs influence other rs character has.

[joaofelix70]

MISS DIPLOMAT & MR. CHARMING |

dominik szoboszlai x female reader.

author's note: this handsome man's living rent-free in my head. he's a freaking masterpiece. talented, funny, charismatic, attractive. i watched interviews, tiktok videos made by supporters and much more to understand a little bit of his language, personality and what he does towards friends and loved ones. laughed a lot! i made my homework as a writer, hope you enjoy it! (compliments and any kind of retributions are more than welcomed).

summary: your job is involving the commitment of unify the population and create interrelations to another countries, using the eurocup qualifiers and the hungary national team executions. you just didn't expect to fall in love with the no. 10's captain player.

words and characters: 1,811/11,223. it was three days working too hard on this story. i'm begging for your consideration, lol.

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sports diplomacy: it's the unique power of sport to bring people, nations, and communities closer together via a shared love of physical pursuits. this responsibility is the reason of a transition between strangers to connected individuals, advancing foreign policy goals and augmenting sport for development initiatives. the complex landscape where sport, politics, and diplomacy overlap become clearer, as do the pitfalls of using sport as a tool for overcoming and mediating separation between people, nonstate actors, and states. the power of sport has never been more important. so far, the 21st century has been dominated by disintegration, introspection, and the retreat of the nation-state from the globalization agenda. in such an environment, scholars, students, and practitioners of international relations are beginning to rethink how sport might be used to tackle climate change, gender inequality, and the united nations sustainable development goals, for example. to boost these integrative, positive efforts is to focus on the means as well as the ends, that is, the diplomacy, plural networks, and processes involved in the role sport can play in tackling the monumental traditional and human security challenges of our time. credits: international studies association and oxford university press.

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MLSZ (hungarian football federation) ──

new training ground at telki.

"i can't believe that being in places like this made up my most theoretically utopian childhood dreams. what a progress in front of me!" you still witness exciting moments where you pinch yourself, trying to believe in the reality that surrounds you: visiting the new training center of the players who are just a few meters away from you, getting ready to represent an entire country.

"your presence is our privilege. a voice of the spread of eurocup to our nation, right here…" the technical director gives you deference, obtaining a measure of humbleness and respect by you.

"the honor belongs to me in its entirety. grateful for having me, sir. while the view is immersive and captivating — my fervent congratulations to everyone involved — could we retreat from the pleasant glass-enclosed room and see everything closer, on the outside? please? i will never get used to this atmosphere." you pour politeness and charisma to the staffs around you, being directed to the proximity of the field and saluting the employees who pass through your path.

meet dominik — your szobo — instigates the nostalgic combination of detailed moments in which your thoughts display as photographic retrospectives. you're incapable to oppose the little enthusiastic laughs, fidgeting the rings between your fingers and avoiding possible suspicious glances from others. however, for you, this wouldn't actually work. the lives of you both are correlated, but different.

the training session is finished. clapping your hands and celebrating the performances, you greet the athletes and recognize some familiar people. nevertheless, reality slows down after those dark woody eyes capture through your soul. his arms tattoos are glorified by the sun's rays, the same illuminated smile is offered to you: that one you got during the very first time you saw him — instantly knowing he made you testimony the accuracy of freedom, catharsis and emotional amorous complement. that he'd be the one to introduce you what you never experienced, what you thought you'd never receive or deserve. what love truly is. when you were novices in your actual professions, not even imagining the future gifts of your unreal purposes.

"there you are!" intimately, dominik points at you, being reciprocated by vibrant nods and your old sort of secret — not that mysterious or serious — handshake. "még mindig emlékszel rá? (still remembering it?). you're a real one!"

"hogy tudnám elfelejteni? alábecsülsz engem. (how could i forget it? you're underestimating me)". your defensive actions demonstrate purposeful falseness. masking any sensitive, verbal or figurative communicative fragment from him is a difficulty that makes you give in over time. honestly, you never complain about this. it's like he wants to understand the factors and layers of you.

"a te kézfogás fickó. ne merészelj lecserélni engem. (your handshake man… don't you dare to replace me)". a shameless wink is send to you, butterflies acquiring space in your stomach.

"és hivatalosan is a szavamat adom rá. (and you officially have my word on it)." your gloss is pigmented against your fingers while you raise it up, displaying an oath, wondering if szoboszlai comprehends that his replacement in your life would be blasphemous.

"diplomata kisasszony, (miss diplomat)…" the hungarian fingerprints are shared and you recognize the sign to hold them, ready to perform your typical fashion icon moment. "gorgeous as always. go ahead! you know what to do!".

amusement surrounds you with the nickname's citation. although, you could feel some curious glances, from the outsiders, about the intimacy between you and him. "i appreciate, our top-class national bless…" you move your body in rotations to exclaim the outfit's characteristics, lifting your feet to show off the specificities of your heels. "how is your hair so well-groomed after sweating, though?" your arms cross and you raise an eyebrow in questioning, trying to hide your fascination.

"thank you, my number-one fan, but don't change the subject. finish our inside joke, c'mon!" dominik grabs his water bottle and spreads the cooling liquid on his forehead, wiping the glowing droplets across his face as he lifted his jersey high enough to exhibits his fortified abs.

your attention is directed to any surrounding scenery, throat being piked. szoboszlai pretends he doesn't notice, preventing to embarrass you.

"alright, alright! you've won, bájos úr… (mr. charming)". your final comment escapes as, practically, a whisper. you can't control the shy laughter, coupled with the considerable redness invading your cheeks.

"that's the secret to make my day!" using his tongue to reproduce a sharp noise, he matches your humorous reactions. "would you like me to show you the infrastructure changes? i'm just gonna take a shower!"

"i've already been granted a tour around here, but in case you insist…" during the dialogue, some athletes cross your space, wishing them good luck for the competition. your concentration on the activity is significant, at the point that dominik's silent admiration goes unnoticed.

"i mean, you know me! i'm gonna insist anyway, so…" he reaches your captivity, bringing you jollification.

"i'll rate you as a personal tour guide. now, go there!" jesting each other, you both exchange exaggerated reverences, like a challenge of who makes the most chaotic one.

────

walking around the area, various subjects are explored, informations entrusted. you ask and are updated about his ethereal younger sister.

portraits of the generations are framed. you magnifies his presence in celebratory pictures, dedicated to find him in the memories and achievements on that wall. pride shines from you and the hungarian finds it lovely.

"you know i'm a sucker for accents… they're much more than mere verbal characteristics, they're stories: life experiences, marks and scars. identities and cultural integrations." the topic is random. through generalized opinions, you're explaining conceptions and dominik is retaining mental observations. he exalts every scrap of your identity, like a faithful worshiper.

"basically, you're admitting being enchanted by my accent. i can see the stars in your eyes. a win is a win!" szoboszlai and his frequent attribute to physical touch, tickling your ears and playing with them. it doesn't bother you, actually: adoring the affection exuded by you and him. you feel like a little girl dealing with your one and only love.

"it's beautiful, how can you blame me? and hey, i know mine's making you grin too." he holds your arm, shivers running down your spine, the two of you being euphoric in the midst of your own enthusiasm.

"putting me against the wall? okay, hum… what were you saying before?" he's changing the subject and you have a natural wit to boo him. lifting his shoulders as a surrender, the hungarian focuses on the specific loose strands of his simple bracelet, which you get used to help him tie it again, willingly.

"trying to avoid the truth? fine! let me take care of you while i talk about my admiration towards globalization and communication. like, with every fiber of me…" you accept the conversation's direction and utter a 'voilà' towards the accessory's new appearance.

"that's why you're the best person i've ever seen doing this job." dominik compliments you, an act full of honesty.

"thanks a lot, mate. but which job? as your bracelet helper or my real one?" you provide tenderness, looking amused.

"i mean… both of them." szoboszlai chuckles, revealing courtesy by your continuous helpfulness.

"literally? because i know you know a lot of people. you're so young and already is the national team's captain." you nudge him in a form of tease. he's a starboy, it's undeniable.

"flattered! literally, thought. you were born for this, believe me." vulnerability collides to you, as his words are deliberated: emotions embracing you and warming your insides.

"dominik szoboszlai, my dear friend, you're gonna make me cry, right here. i'm sorry, i need to do it…"

innocent satisfaction builds strength over you and executes unthought-of approach to the tangibility of your gratitude — his colony enrapturing your sensitive olfaction — in the most out-of-control way. the sounds reach your hearing: a choir of angels singing hallelujah. he reciprocates the contact, laughing at your juvenile excitement. joining him and doing the same thing, harmonizing the triumph. in the separation of the touch, you both remain close to each other and the hungarian doesn't miss the opportunity to feel the softness of your side face, caressing the skin. appreciation and satisfaction invade your structure, delighting on the palm of his hand.

"just a dear friend? why are we pretending all this time?" dominik's reading you. the intimidation at the sight of him overhanging you is paralyzing. you don't usually back down, but in that instant — superior than your most repressed desires — your gasps are escaped.

"who is putting who against the wall now?" insisting and failing on your witty answers, shyness and uncertainty corrodes you.

"please, look at me! i'm not kidding anymore." his voice is questioning, intrigued — contradictorily vulnerable and calm — your rationality being fragmented, fragile.

"you know i'm not the kind of woman you're surrounding by, domi. i'm not an influencer, bikini model. i'm not a public figure. i don't live for the cameras and gossip platforms. i live to work hard. i didn't achieve any of this with some type of perk. my routine and your routine are based on traveling..." who could deny it? szoboszlai's always been all that you see. it's much more than a mere passion. your attraction to him is magnetic, intense, vivid. consequently, terrifying.

"i'm just asking for a chance, (your nickname). i don't lie when i say i've never met someone like you. i may be surrounded by a crowd and you'll still be the one to steal my attention, because nobody compares to you."

your eyelids are closed and the exhalation of his sigh penetrates your lungs with the numbing breath of life you've never experienced before. it's happening: the rare situation where thinking carefully about the pros and cons is unworthy, dumbness. your decision is made and the privilege's resolution unify your lips. the beginning demonstrates slowness and patience — the intensification through the concluded wait of the longed-for reality, transforming light and magical kisses into open mouths discovering each other and witnessing the endearment that both offer — hairs, necks, shoulders and waists captured.

"you're the first to create a meaningful presence in my mind and heart. i want you to be the last one too. i love you, kincs (my treasure). i'm finally brave enough to demonstrate it with no fears." dominik's forearm covers your upper torso. your back against his chest, noses resting on each others. rejoicing at the miraculous, incomparable circumstance.

"i love you, drágám (my precious). you're finally mine and it was so fucking worth waiting." his whisper: the living proof of celestial existence.

"how blessed we are…" intertwined bodies, coalesced essences. solitary melodies turning into the sweetest and most complete symphony.

[ask-the-prose]

Writing Mental Health With Compassion

I've gotten a few questions regarding depicting characters with mental health challenges and conditions and I wanted to expand a little more on how to depict these characters with compassion for the real communities represented by these characters.

A little about this guide: this is, as always, coming from a place of love and respect for the writing community and the groups affected by this topic at large. I'm also not coming at this from the outside, I have certain mental illnesses that affect my daily life. With that, I'll say that my perspective may be biased, and as with all writing advice, you should think critically about what is being told to you and how.

So let's get started!

Research

I'm sure we're all tired of hearing the phrase "do your research," but unfortunately it is incredibly important advice. I have a guide that touches on how to do research here, if you need a place to get started.

When researching a mental health condition that we do not experience, we need to do so critically, and most importantly, compassionately. While your characters are not people, they are assigned traits that real people do have, and so your depiction of these traits can have an impact on people who face these conditions themselves.

I've found that reddit is a decent resource for finding threads of people talking about their personal experiences with certain illnesses. For example, bipolar disorder has several subreddits that have very open and candid discussions about bipolar, how it impacts lives, and small things that people who don't have bipolar don't tend to think about.

It's important to note that these spaces are not for you. They are spaces for people to talk about their experiences in a place without judgment or fear or stigma. These are not places for people to give out writing advice. Do NOT flood subreddits for people seeking support with questions that may make others feel like an object to be studied. It's not cool or fair to them for writers to enter their space and start asking questions when they're focused on getting support. Be courteous of the people around you.

Diagnosis

I have the belief that for most stories, a diagnosis for your characters is unnecessary. I have a few reasons for thinking this way.

Firstly, mental health diagnoses are important for treatment, but they're also a giant sign written across your medical documents that says, “I'm crazy!” Doctors may try to remain unbiased when they see mental health diagnoses, but anybody with a diagnosis can say that doctors rarely succeed. This translates to a lot of people never getting diagnoses, never seeking treatment, or refusing to talk about their diagnosis if they do have one.

Secondly, I've seen posts discuss “therapy speak” in fiction, and this is one of those instances where a diagnosis and extensive research may make you vulnerable to it. People don't tend to discuss their diagnoses freely and they certainly don't tend to attribute their behaviors as symptoms.

Finally, this puts you, the writer, into a position where you treat your characters less like people and story devices and more like a list of symptoms and behavioral quirks. First and foremost, your characters serve your story. If they don't feel like people then your characters may fall flat. When it comes to mental illness in characters, the people aspect is the most important part. Mentally ill people are people, not symptoms.

Those are my top three reasons for believing that most characters will never need a specific diagnosis. You will likely never need to depict the difference between bipolar and borderline because the story itself does not need that distinction or to reveal a diagnosis at all. I feel that having a diagnosis in mind for a character has more pitfalls than advantages.

How does treatment work?

Treating mental health conditions may appear in your story. There are a number of ways treatments affect daily life and understanding the levels of care and what those levels treat will help you depict the appropriate settings for your characters.

The levels of care range from minimally restrictive and minimal care to intensive in-patient care in a secure hospital setting.

Regular or semi-regular therapy is considered outpatient care. This is generally the least restrictive. Your characters may or may not also take medications, in which case they may also see a psychiatrist to prescribe those medications. There is a difference between therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. Therapists do not prescribe medications, psychiatrists prescribe medications after an evaluation, and psychologists will (sometimes) do both. (I'm US, so this may work differently depending where you are. You should always research the specific setting of your story.) Generally, a person with a mental illness or mental health condition will see both an outpatient therapist and an outpatient psychiatrist for their general continuing care.

Therapists will see their patients anywhere from once in a while as-needed to twice weekly. Psychiatrists will see new patients every few weeks until they report stabilizing results, and then they will move to maintenance check-ins every 90-ish days.

If the patient reports severe symptoms, or worsening symptoms, they will be moved up to more intensive care, also known as IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). This is usually a group-therapy setting for between 3-7 hours per day between 3-5 days a week. The group-therapy is led by a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) or Licensed Professional Social Worker (LPSW). Groups are structured sessions with multiple patients teaching coping mechanisms and focusing on treatment adjustment. IOP’s tend to expect patients to see their own outpatient psychiatrist, but I've encountered programs that have their own in-house psychiatrists.

If the patient still worsens, or is otherwise needing more intensive care, they'll move up to PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). This can look different per facility, but I've seen them to be more intensive in hours and content than IOP. They also usually have in-house psychiatrists doing diagnostic psychological evaluations. It's very possible for characters with “mild” symptoms to go long periods of time, even most of their lives, without having had a diagnosis. PHP’s tend to need a diagnosis so that they can address specific concerns and help educate the patient on their condition and how it may manifest.

Next step up is residential care. Residential care is a boarding hospital setting. Patients live in the hospital and focus entirely on treatment. Individual programs may differ in what's allowed in, how much contact the patients are allowed to have, and what the treatment focus is. Residential programs are often utilized for addiction recovery. Good residential programs will care about the basis for the addiction, such as underlying mental health issues that the patient may be self-medicating for. Your character may come away with a diagnosis, or they may not. Residential programs aren't exclusively for addictions though, and can be useful for severe behavioral concerns in teenagers or any number of other concerns a patient may have that manifest chronically but do not require intensive inpatient restriction.

Inpatient hospital stays are the highest level of care, and this tends to be what people are talking about when they tell jokes about “grippy socks.” These programs are inside the hospital and patients are highly restricted on what they can and cannot have, they cannot leave unless approved by the hospital staff (the hospital's psychiatrist tends to have the final say), and contact with the outside world is highly regulated. During the days, there are group therapy sessions and activities structured very carefully to maintain routine. Staff will regulate patient hygiene, food and sleep routines, and alone time.

Inpatient hospital programs are controversial among people with mental illness and mental health concerns. I find that they have use, but they are also not an easy or first step to take when dealing with a mental health condition. Patients are not allowed sharp objects, metal objects, shoelaces, cutlery, and pens or pencils. Visitors are not allowed to bring these items in, staff are not allowed these items either. This is for the safety of the patients. Typically, if someone is involuntarily admitted into the inpatient hospital program, it is due to an authority (the hospital staff) deeming the patient as a danger to themselves or others. Whether they came in of their own will (voluntary) or not does not matter in how the program operates. Everyone is treated the same. If someone is an active danger to themselves, then they may be on 24-hour suicide watch. They are not allowed to have any time alone. No, not even for the bathroom, or while sleeping, or during group sessions.

Inpatient Hospital Programs

This is a place of high curiosity for those who have never been admitted into inpatient care, so I'd like to explain a little more in detail how these programs work, why they're controversial, but how they can be useful in certain situations. I do have personal experience in this area, but as always, your mileage may vary.

When admitting, hospital staff are the final say. Not the police. The police hold some sway, but most often, if someone is brought in by the police, they are likely to be admitted. They are only involuntarily admitted when the situation demands: the staff have determined the person to be an imminent danger to themselves or others. This is obviously subjective, and can easily be abused. A good program with decent staff will do everything they can to convince the patient to admit voluntarily if they feel it is necessary, but ultimately if the patient declines and the staff don't feel they can make the clinical argument that admittance is necessary, the patient is free to leave. It should be noted that doctors and clinicians have to worry about possibly losing their licenses to practice. They don't want to fuck around with involuntary admittance if they don't have to, and they don't want potentially dangerous people to walk away.

Once admitted, the patient will have to remove their clothing and put on a set of hospital scrubs. These are mostly made of paper, and most often do not have pockets, but I have seen sets that do have pockets (very handy, tbh). They are not allowed to take anything into the hospital wing except disability-required devices such as glasses, hearing aids, mobility aids, etc. Most programs will require removing piercings, but not all of them, in my experience.

The nurses will also do a physical examination, where they will make note of any open wounds, major scars, tattoos, and other skin abrasions that may be relevant.

The patient will then be led to their bed, where they will receive any approved clothing items from outside, a copy of their patient rights, and a copy of the floor code of conduct and rules, a schedule, and any other administrative information necessary for the program to run efficiently and legally.

Group sessions include group-therapy, activities, coping skills, anger management, anxiety management, and for some reason, karaoke. There is a lot of coloring involved, but only with crayons. A good program will focus heavily on skills and therapeutic activities. Bad programs will phone it in and focus on karaoke and activities. Most hospitals will have a chaplain, and some will include a religious group session. I've never attended these, so I can't speak for them.

Unspoken rules are the hidden pieces of the inpatient programs that patients tend to find out during their first visit. There is no leaving the program until the doctor agrees to it. The doctor will only agree to it if they deem you ready to leave, and you are only ready to leave if you have been compliant to treatment and have seen positive results in the most dangerous symptoms (homicidal or suicidal ideations). Noncompliance can look like: refusing your prescribed medications (which you have the right to do at any time for any reason. That does not mean that there won't be consequences. This is a particularly controversial point.), refusing to attend groups (chapel is not included in this point, but that doesn't mean it's actually discounted. Another controversial point.), violent or disruptive outbursts such as yelling or throwing things, and refusing to sleep or eat at the approved and appointed times. All of this may sound like the hospital is restricting your rights beyond reason, but I've seen the use, and I've seen the abuse. Medications are sometimes necessary, and often patients seriously prefer having medication. Groups are important to a person's treatment, and refusing to go can be a sign of noncompliance or worsening symptoms. If someone is too depressed or anxious to go to group, then they're probably not ready to leave the hospital where the structure is gone and they must self-regulate their treatment. Violent or disruptive outbursts tend to be a sign of worsening symptoms in general, but even the best of us lose our tempers from time to time when put into a highly stressful situation like an inpatient hospital stay. The hospital is supposed to be a place of healing, for many it is. But for many more, it is a place of systematic abuse and restriction.

Discharge processes can be long and arduous and INCREDIBLY stressful for the patient. Oftentimes, they won't know their discharge date until the day of, or perhaps the day before. Though the date can change at any time. The discharge process requires the supervising psychiatrist to meet with the treatment team and then the patient to determine if the patient had progressed enough to be safely discharged. Discharge also requires a set outpatient plan in place, such as a therapy appointment within a week, a psychiatrist visit, or admittance into a lower level of care. This is where social workers are involved. Patients are not allowed access to cell phones or the internet. They cannot make their own appointments with their outpatient care providers without a phone number and phone access. Some floors will have phone access for this reason, others will insist the social worker arrange appointments and discharge plans. Social workers are often incredibly overworked, with several patients on their caseload.

The patient cannot be discharged until the social worker has coordinated the discharge plan to the doctor's approval. Most often, unfortunately, the patient rarely receives regular communication regarding the progress of their discharge. I've been discharged with as much as a day's notice to two hours notice.

Part 2 Coming Soon

This guide got longer than expected! Out of respect for my followers dashboard, I will be cutting it here and adding a Part 2 later on.

If you find that there are more specific questions you'd like answered, or topics you'd like covered, send an ask or reply to this post with what you'd like to see in Part 2.

– Indy

[twig-tea]

Spoiler-free Pitch for Oppan (Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka)

Thanks to @isaksbestpillow generously creating subtitles for this show we have access to arguably the best family drama of the year, and what has become one of my favourite series of all time.

The premise is essentially: Makoto, a 'traditional' family man in his 50s who feels alienated from his wife and two kids, decides to learn to 'update' his beliefs with the help of a young gay man who befriends him.

There are so many pitfalls and ways this premise could go wrong, and the show falls into none of them. Daichi, the gay character that befriends Makoto, has a boyfriend, and they both have their own arcs. The friendship is two-way, and they both benefit from the relationship. Makoto's wife, son, and daughter all also have arcs, and we get to understand and love all of these characters. Nobody is in this show exclusively as a foil for Makoto; everyone gets to be their own person. The show is careful to not only show multiple experiences of gay characters, but also to chastise people in the show for making assumptions, as those can be hurtful, even when well-intentioned. And yes, while it isn't the focus of the show, we do get to see some of Daichi and Madoka's romance.

This show is so well-written, each episode is satisfying and builds on the previous one. The journey to improvement is not a straight line but a spiral, and Oppan depicts that so well. The mistakes Makoto makes are believable and realistic. And the way Makoto's relationships improve in every aspect of his life as he works on himself is gradual, realistically depicted, and so, so satisfying to watch. Trust is earned, and we see him slowly earn trust over time as he changes his behaviour. We also see the damage his past behaviour has wrought, and see him reconcile himself to that.

One of the best things this show does is viscerally illustrate how harmful upholding societal stigma and judgment is to those you love, and to yourself. Makoto's toxic masculinity, homophobia, amatonormativity, and judgment of anything he deems as "silly" or "abmnormal" hold his family back from connecting with him, and hold himself back from experiencing joy. Themes include (but are not limited to) sexuality, gender presentation, idol fandom, BL fandom, makeup, fashion, and workplace culture. And it isn't just familial relationships this show cares about; it touches on friendships, romantic, sibling, parental, and coworker relationships.

The lesson at the core of Makoto's journey is that genuine connection with others is how we heal and find joy, and that we can only have that genuine connection if we're able to make space for others to be themselves in our presence through kindness. And it's that core that makes this show so powerful, and made me cry (with happiness, catharsis, and relief) so many times. I genuinely feel like it healed something in me to watch this show.

Even putting all of that aside, this show is funny, and genuinely satisfying as a story arc. There's Carlos, the family dog who always seems to know what's going on and nudges Makoto when he needs it. Makoto's actor, Harada Taizo, makes some incredible faces. There are hilarious cut-aways mid-scene, usually when someone is getting too intense with their fansquee. The family dynamic, especially the sibling behaviour between Moe and Kakeru, is so hilariously familiar. It's not a chore to watch this show; it manages to be kind and healing and also fun.

Anyway. If that's not enough of a pitch for you, I've written about all of the 11 episodes individually, including outlining where and how each made me cry: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 . And I'm not the only one; if you want more company while watching, @bengiyo, @lurkingshan @mikuni14 and @mynamisnotthepoint wrote a bunch about this show too mostly broken out by episode.

And to relive the magic, @avorbl, @theside-b and @my-rose-tinted-glasses created some gorgeous gifs!

Siiri has instructions on her blog, but if you need help watching this show, feel free to DM me or send an ask.

[hamliet]

Do you have any thoughts on how RWBY handled the white fang storyline?

Unpopular opinion: it's decent?

Now, now, before people come at me with pitchforks: yes, it's overly simplified. The entire story is a fairy tale, though, so that's not out of place. It also complements the rest of the story thematically, and manages to incorporate nuance and complexity in despite the simplification of issues.

I think it's a mistake to look at the White Fang as a 1=1 of the real life struggles of marginalized groups. That said, there obviously are parallels, and so people aren't mistaken to note those. I just think it's not meant to be an instructional manual and shouldn't necessarily be viewed as one, but rather a conversation starter in some ways. And yes, those conversations can and should include critiques.

So I'll go over the points that I think it did well and how those ties into real life, but also specifically how they work for RWBY's overall story. This does not negate criticisms, especially those by marginalized groups.

In contrast to some other fictional depictions, RWBY actually is better as well because it avoids the number one pitfall of such issues: the X-Men fallacy. I've talked about this in terms of Attack on Titan before, but essentially it's the idea that the problem with depicting discrimination against superpowered people is that, well, there is a logical reason for people to be concerned about superpowers; hence, it almost justifies that very discrimination it seeks to condemn. This isn't present in the faunus/human divide. They are both capable of superpowers.

It also doesn't fall into another common pitfall: the idea that people have to be perfect to be victims of discrimination. The White Fang... has senselessly and cruelly murdered people; doesn't mean faunus discrimination isn't also cruel and senseless and doesn't justify it. And this is something that we do see in real life too--people trying to either completely whitewash the actions of radical anti-oppression movements, which can do awful things, or trying to use these awful things as evidence that these people deserve discrimination when really it's a result of rage and desperation at a society that refuses to give them anything. That doesn't justify the pain of the victims of the awful things (see, Weiss) but nor does it negate the righteousness of that anger.

It does portray the faunus as a fairly diverse group too, when fiction often portrays marginalized groups as a monolith. That's not true. People from one group have very different ideas about what liberation looks like, and what they want to achieve. People in marginalized groups are people, and they can be motivated by a variety of selfless principles and egotistical validation, and neither negate the other. See, Sienna vs. Ghira vs. Adam.

Now, of course within RWBY Ghira's more nonviolent principles more or less win out. That's because RWBY is again a fairy tale where you have to fight to live, but that also doesn't endorse violence. If you expected otherwise, wrong genre. Of course the real world is far more complex, but it's not as if there is no real world basis for this either. Peacemakers exist, and nonviolence has accomplished a lot before. Whether or not that's the be-all-end-all of the faunus struggle in RWBY isn't even clear, so I don't think it's intended to be the be-all-end-all preached moral as it applies to the real world either.

Story-wise, the White Fang functions as a Jungian shadow of society. If you do not take charge of your own life, you are letting others decide for you. The faunus who disagree with the White Fang take it back, because they have to acknowledge it to move forward in society. They have to integrate with it, and accept their own humanity: capable of good and what they might rather deny.

This faction--the faunus who don't like the White Fang--are represented in Ghira, who becomes passive and steps back from aspects of the movement. However, when Blake arrives in Menagerie, this changes, because Blake's entire arc is about integration. Ghira then becomes active, working for the rights of the faunus and for the White Fang to be better rather than simply disavowing the White Fang in an attempt to be a good person, because doing nothing isn't exactly good.

On a more character level, the White Fang exists for Blake's arc. Her Jungian archetype is the Shadow. Like, it's literally her semblance's name. Hence, the idea of the shadow is gonna be important. If you want more on this, @aspoonofsugar has written a meta on it here and another here.

So, for Blake, on a personal level the White Fang (especially under Adam) represents the parts of herself she doesn't like. The part that ran from her family. The part that is violent. And yet, she cannot abandon it or simply disavow it. No, the answer is instead:

We’re not going to destroy the White Fang. We’re going to take it back.

She has to integrate with it, take the good--the righteous anger, the focus on justice and equality.

The White Fang also comments on the microcosm/macrocosm of alchemy.

For the unaware, RWBY is an alchemical story, and the principles of alchemy are represented in the symbol for the philosopher's stone, as seen above. Microcosm: the smaller circle enclosing two people in the center who come together (hence chemical weddings). The square is the four elements: water, earth, fire, air. The triangle is body, heart, and mind. The larger circle is the macrocosm.

The Shadows for Blake on a personal level--microcosm--is Adam. The Shadow on a worldwide, big picture scale--the macrocosm--is the White Fang. Integrating with the shadow isn't only an individualistic endeavor, but also one that benefits society as a whole and brings life to the entire world. The main point of alchemy's philosopher's stone, which Blake, along with the rest of RWBY, are symbolically being transformed into.

I think the main issue with the White Fang, by the way, is its handling of Adam. Typically you don't kill the shadow, though I do think Blake kinda had no choice. Still, I don't think the show fully explored him.

Yet what does work with what we have is that Yang has to face Adam, Blake's shadow, to be with Blake. Yang losing her arm to Adam parallels her being upset about losing Blake to fear, because symbolically Blake can hurt her deeply in the way only a lover can. Blake has to stop running from her shadow and allow herself ot be known and seen by Yang to be with her.

[cator99]

Massive fuck you to the sole blue hair retard in the crowd who managed to get picked for Fran Lebowitz Q&A time (a time which, for those who are observant, the audience is given the opportunity to suggest a topic for her to riff on) and asked how she would solve the Israel Palestine conflict. This of course garnered a collective groan of utter disdain and succeeded in clearing her off the stage in less than a minute after she refused to touch that question. I know its topical but it's not like other serious subjects where she can weave her way through it using funny anecdotes with the goal of landing on some punchlines. Do they not grasp that she only uses politics as a conduit for humor? Theres a reason she states upfront that she is not an activist. The thing that really set an uneasy tone amongst the room is the awareness of the unlikelihood that this person would have asked this of any random celebrity. We all know why they asked her. Same reason that my unemployed ftm housemate, as I told him where I was going while putting my shoes on, proceeded to google her and immediately say "I cant find anything about her stance on palestine :///....." Yup. She's A Humorist. I didn't know what else to say. But these types truly seem to believe that anything and everything should be presented alongside an eyesore collage of flags and a series of infographics and anything falling short of that should be understood as an inherent affront to morality– displayed in how they sort of complain-brag about spending all day arguing with Whatever-Phobes on Instagram and getting worked up over rage bait twitter posts in the name of Activism. Before I could finish collecting my thoughts, he continues: "...but I did find this drawing someone did of her in an IDF uniform. With a kid in a chokehold!" Yes. Thank you. I'm aware of the prevalence of antisemitism. Case in point. He continued on to say that while he Likes Comedy, that here aren't enough Leftist Comedians for him to feel Safe trying to Engage with it. Why are these types incapable of so much as looking in the direction of anything that isn't an exact mirror of their experiences or beliefs without shitting themselves? It's scrupulosity OCD to a fucking T. And jesus christ if you're going to a comedian for their political beliefs you're not only exposing yourself as someone without much in terms of a serious investment in actual politics to begin with but also a tragically humorless person– ie the type to show up to see Fran Lebowitz and clear the room with your inability to read it. One of the many pitfalls of illiteracy is that its impacts aren't restricted to the confines of a piece of paper.

[nocturnowlette]

So I have a question about the possibility of advertisments possibly being some form of hypno or emotional manipulation. This question comes from an experience I had with a man scaped advertisement.

My situation before watching the ad was relaxed and amused from scrolling memes on discord and I found one relating to a particular man scaped ad. Seeing as I was already vaguely interested in their products I decided to watch the ad on my own, all the way through. This particular video was involving innuendos around pool balls. By the end of the video I was happier and feeling more favorably towards manscaped despite knowing it was advertisement gibberish.

So my question to you is, is it possible that this was because it was filmed in such a way to manipulate the mind to a happier place to associate those feelings with their brand? If you think about it, the place where someone is most likely to see that ad is relaxed watching yt or a television so they could absolutely take advantage of that hypno ready mind state.

This question falls into the incredibly common conceptual pitfall that hypnosis is something special or different than any other part of our brain. You don't go into a "state of trance", you are always in a state of trance, because you are always exercising the process of guiding focus and being suggested by the information presented to you.

Immersion is trance, daydreaming is trance, meditation is trance, and just existing is some form of trance. You can not be focused on everything at all times, so our minds function like a heatmap, and those things we focus on more take up more of our conception of reality at that moment. That is trance to an extent. Hypnosis does nothing that isn't done a million times a day in more common situations.

Just in the same way that placebos still work despite knowing it's placebo and in the same way that films or television with specific agendas like war movies can still be enjoyable despite you likely disagreeing with the military industrial complex, you can enjoy an ad and have it appeal to you despite it being an advertisement.

What you're describing in this ask, with things like, "manipulating the mind to a happier place to associate those feelings with their brand" is just advertisement placed into the terms and thought structure associated with hypnosis and calling it some special kind of manipulation. Yes, they do that, but no, it is not special. You were no more hypnotized or manipulated by it than any other media product that elicits emotion.

We do not have "hypno ready mind states", we are always "in trance".

We are never unsuggestible, because suggestions are anything that changes your perception.

We are never immune to advertisements or propaganda because they introduce information to us that we will process so long as we perceived it.

You were interested in manscaped, so you watched an ad, they did a good job of appealing to you, and then you were more interested. That's just how our brains work.

[roxykisser]

classpect titles: identity vs. the narrative

right. here’s something i’ve been meaning to talk about for a while. the assignment of classpect titles.

before i start, i want to make something clear: i’m not here to tell anyone how to identify. i am of the opinion that everyone knows themselves best. i’m not here to tell anyone how to classpect: this is a wacky business filled to the brim with speculation. this is merely an account of my views and opinions.

the classpecting community at large, here on tumblr at least, is very concerned with one’s personality when assigning classpect titles. this approach also necessitates a focus on both class and aspect in tandem; making sense as one full concept, a one and done thing, rather than two components of a title. a title, not a name.

a prince of heart is one who destroys heart. therefore the prince must destroy heart. he cannot engage in destructive behaviour, fall into that class’ archetypal pitfalls and climb its archetypal highs, and also have an arc concerned with identity, see the world in those terms at the same time. he must always be a [destroyer of heart].

it all ends up rather stereotypical; a prince destroys, therefore the prince is bad. a knight protects, therefore the knight is good.

i find it more constructive to look at classes as archetypes, because at their origin, this is what they are. patterns of behaviour one repeats again and again, falls back on when they are at their wits’ end. this is where the narrative view of classpects comes in.

class represents the hero’s internal processes. their values. a sort of concise list of their greatest faults and greatest strengths, like horoscopes in the newspaper. made to be generic. made for the hero to grow with and past them. it makes sense then why most prefer to classpect based on personality: it is easier to look at yourself as a list of traits than it is to look at yourself as a history, a narrative path you’ve walked. actually, that brings me to a good metaphor: your class is your shoes. the trail you walk. your aspect is the scenery.

classpecting from a narrative angle requires a shift in perspective, and acknowledging one stark difference between the hero title of myself and say, the hero title of jake english. we are both hope players, yet one of us is a person. the other is a character. the title system in homestuck is made around characters. the game is deliberately set up to help its players grow, and in doing that sets them on a path loosely defined by their title. people are a bit more complicated.

seeing yourself as a character isn’t easy. it’s almost impossible. characterhood is objective; personhood is not. in a story, we see its characters’ entire arcs in one line, we can clearly identify the inflection points in their stories and which themes repeat again and again. but as people our lives are ongoing; we are not afforded the same omnipotence, the ability to see time all at once.

class is incredibly hard to determine because of this. aspect is a bit easier. it is the themes that repeat again and again in our lives, a backdrop for all else to happen. it is a lens through which we see and understand the world. a light player might see their world as a story. a heart player might see the world as a tangle of identities rubbing up against and affecting each other. the possibilities are as endless as paradox space, which is to say not at all or quite a lot, depending on how you look at things. and how big you are in the scheme of them.

of course some measure of both narrative and personality classpecting must be employed for the most accurate outcome to be produced. one cannot look at the forest’s reflection in the lake and claim to know the beasts within. one cannot build a house with only bricks. but a healthy harmony should be strived towards in order for the result to be most accurate.

if you would like to read some posts from people who know these things better than me, i recommend @classpect-navelgazing, particularly their masterpost, and @urcharactersclasspect, whose opinions i found very particularly eye-opening.

[ravensliterature]

A Life Ransomed

A/N: Got a new request!

pairing: Sebastian Michaelis x Reader

warnings: Some curse words, description of violence and blood

w/c: 1733

Prompt: Sebastian’s mate has been kidnapped. He will do anything to bring her back. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian hadn't seen you for a couple of hours which made him nervous. Sebastian Michaelis was one hell of a butler and this meant that not many things went under his radar.  You were one of them, especially as his mate. You were a maid for Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian was the one to recruit you after you left serving for the queen's guard. He thought that your skills as a soldier would be beneficial for protecting Ciel against his enemies and your training meant you knew how to take orders. You were probably the best employee of Ciel's besides Sebastian, which isn't saying a lot... 

For Sebastian, you were different than any other human. Your mind is so much more complex than he thought possible and it intrigued him to no end. He wanted to understand what thoughts go through your head at all times. Plus, you also had a deep affinity for cats which was a bonus.  And you are beautiful. He never saw an angel as pretty as you, with those locks, your soft skin, and those eyes which sparkle even when they're sad or annoyed. He adored you. You had come to care for him as well and eventually, he made you his mate. According to Sebastian, demons only have one mate for their entire life. Even if they don't fall in love with each other or their mate, they still stay with that person forever. You two were bound and luckily you did love each other.  You two would always do anything for each other. Sebastian would give you the world without hesitation. Ciel did eventually find out about you both.  At first, he didn’t know whether or not he should condone the relationship but Sebastian appeared to have more determination in his duties thanks to you. Ultimately,  Ciel decided to let the two of you keep being together even though he had concerns. 

It was becoming later in the day and you were nowhere to be seen. Sebastian's fears continued to grow and he was beginning to worry that something bad happened to you. He continued his duties but he made sure to look around for you each time he completed a task for the young master.  He walked to the gardens hoping you weren’t hiding from him. He stopped by every place that could be considered a meeting point between you two and there was simply no sight of you. His realization that you weren't at the Phantomhive manner made a pitfall in his stomach. 

He opted to ignore his fears contemplating the possibility that maybe Ciel sent you into town to retrieve something.  No...that couldn't be the case, because you'd be back by now.  The Phantomhive manor was vast with plenty of places where people might hide. Maybe someone kidnapped you? That thought sent chills down Sebastian’s spine. Ciel had many enemies, it was possible.  After thinking for several moments, he realized that there was no evidence of this either. 

One of Sebastian's last tasks for the day was retrieving the mail from the porch. Sebastian opened the long door to see several letters strung about.  He noticed that some were sealed tight with wax but most were addressed to the Ciel and some to other members of the household. Something out of the ordinary is that there is one addressed to him. Sebastian throughout his entire time at the manor had never received a piece of mail.  It must have been delivered earlier today while he was tending to Ciel.  Carefully, Sebastian opened the small envelope and began to read: 

Dear Mr. Michaellis, 

I apologize for contacting you on such short notice but please forgive me for interrupting your work today. I'm afraid my business is not very pleasant but we have a settle to score. My men have taken your partner and will take your life in exchange for hers.  I believe this is a reasonable bargain to prevent unnecessary bloodshed. Come alone or die trying to reach her.  I have hired the strongest men so your little fiasco that happened once won't happen again.

Azzurro Vanel

Sebastian crumpled up the letter in disgust as anger bubbled in his chest and his eyes flashed fuschia.  Azzurro and his men were going to take his mate? How dare they! He would make them pay! Without waiting another moment, he ran towards the kitchen grabbing a handful of knives.  He needed to hunt down these bastards and kill them.

"Hey! What the bloody hell are you doing?!" Someone called out to him. It was Ciel. 

Before Sebastian could say anything, Ciel pulled him aside and started lecturing him furiously. 

"What in heaven's name are you doing with my silverware?"  

Sebastian looked stern as he continued to grab various kitchen items. 

"I was just taking care of some business." Ciel gave him a disapproving glare and shook his head.

"Don't think that I haven't seen your worried expressions all day." Sebastian frowned at Ciel's comment and sighed. "Y/N has been taken by Azzurro Vanel. I plan to return her home." 

Ciel nodded. "Well I can't fault you for wanting to bring home your lover but please be home before 10 PM."

Sebastian nodded before picking up a knife. 

--- 

Sebastian ran through the entrance of the run-down building on the edge of London, throwing a knife at the head of a hired mercenary.  Sebastian felt exhilarated as he watched the man fall to the ground with blood dripping off his temple. There was a slight pause as the mercenaries recovered from the attack but Sebastian took no time killing them as well.  He wasn't about to waste a second. As Sebastian reached the staircase leading towards what appeared to be the office, likely where Azzurro was holding you.  With all the energy he possessed, Sebastian kicked open the door.  Inside, Sebastian found Azzurro sitting behind his desk while two large men held guns at his head. 

You were tied up like cattle to a chair across from Azzurro. His face was emotionless except for his piercing gaze. A few candles illuminated the room allowing Sebastian enough light to see the way your face contorted in pure fear.

"I told you to come in peace," Azzurro said calmly. "So let's begin the fun." 

Azzuro stood from behind the desk and made his way toward your side.  Sebastian glared daggers at him until Azzurro grabbed you roughly by your arm.  Sebastian moved a step forward until a gun was placed to your head.  You whimpered in fear and squeezed your eyes shut. Sebastian froze. He hated seeing you this vulnerable, scared even, especially since he himself was feeling extremely upset.

"Don't try anything," Azzurro threatened.  Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him before glancing over at your scared expression. A shiver traveled down his spine as his heart broke for you. You were so fragile. His mate. 

Sebastian took one more step forward and a gunshot was heard. The smoke left Azzurro's gun but you were not harmed.  In fact, you looked like nothing had happened at all. Sebastian smirked slightly as he turned out to be now behind Azzurro, holding the bullet out to him. 

"I want you to know why you are dying Azzurro," Sebastian spoke quietly. "You tried to harm the woman whom I care deeply for and she didn't need or deserve it, therefore, I'll make sure you get the same fate as your men."

Sebastion removed your mouth gag and gave you a sad smile.  "Don't cry (y/n). Everything will be alright. This bastard will suffer. I promise... " You tried to respond but Sebastian interrupted. "I need you to close your eyes." You smiled back.  Tears began to roll down your cheeks as you closed your eyes. Sebastian took the bullet in his hand before pressing the barrel against Azzurro's forehead.

You heard screams, gunshots, and bodies falling to the ground.  Your ears began ringing loudly as your mind struggled to understand what was happening.  "You can open your eyes, my love,"  Sebastian said softly. Your vision focused and there he was standing right in front of you. Sebastian was alive but Azzurro was dead, bleeding profusely.  "We won't let anyone hurt you ever again," Sebastian stated. He moved behind you and uncuffed your wrists. 

You immediately wrapped your arms around Sebastian, sobbing hysterically. He rubbed circles into your back as he hugged you close to his chest and rested his chin atop your head, whispering sweet nothings into your ear to calm you down. Eventually, your breathing started to regulate and you began calming down a bit. You loosened your grip and Sebastian finally removed your head from his chin. You turned around and looked at the carnage that was in the room. Blood was everywhere. Even you were covered in it. Sebastian lifted your chin up and wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Are you ok?"  He asked.

You nodded slowly and sniffled as tears flowed down your face once more. "Thank you... thank you." You whispered. "For everything." Sebastian chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you closer to him. 

"Of course, my love."

--- 

Sebastian and you sat together on the bed in the guestroom as the sun slowly disappeared. You were still shaken by what happened. The only thing keeping you sane was Sebastian's presence next to you. Sebastian was rubbing your arm soothingly.   He had insisted upon getting the both of you cleaned up after your encounter with Azzurro which he refused to leave your side for even a moment.  Your clothes and hair were stained red from blood, sweat, and dirt. Sebastian had also cleaned your cuts from their rough handling as best as he could with alcohol.  

"How did you find me?" You asked.

"I followed your scent. I knew you were here somewhere." Sebastian replied. "I was... scared."  You nodded your head and kissed his cheek tenderly.

"It's fine. We're safe now," you reassured him. Sebastian leaned into you as he gently touched his lips against yours. You melted into his embrace as your body relaxed.

 He moved the both of you to lie down so you were resting comfortably against one another. Your eyes grew heavy as exhaustion overcame your system. Before you fell asleep completely, Sebastian slipped his arms under your head causing you to nestle deeper into him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[ex-mortis-evie]

Hey, goofball.

Welcome back to reading another one of my weird little rambles that you seem to be really obsessed with reading.

I mean, I don’t mind that you are at all.

I’m just some weird corner of the internet you’ve found yourself in.

Sometimes those little nooks and crannies can give us the most valued experiences, you know?

I’m serious about that, the world’s a weird place after all.

You never know what pitfalls you’ll find yourself in.

Take me for example, i’m just some gal that loves the science and theory behind trance.

I’m no dominant supervillain or mastermind manipulator.

I just like making people feel good I guess.

And honestly, I don’t even know how I’ve been able to do it.

How I’ve been able to work my way through people’s brains like they’re paper and influence them with nothing but words deep within.

Genuinely, I have no idea.

Though I’ve noticed I tend to ramble on about trance and the science behind it.

How it’s initiated, how it affects us, how it corrupts and changes us.

See? Right there.

That’s what I mean.

I ramble on and on and people just kinda…listen.

Like they’re just naturally drawn into whatever I have to say.

It’s not even an attempt from me most of the time.

I just say what I feel and think, I can’t really help it.

It’s just the person I am I guess.

But, I think that’s why I really like trance.

I like how I can just go off about something and end up enamoring someone so deeply that they just hook into my words and feel that deep connection.

It’s a really interesting idea, too.

How our minds can just attach themselves to an idea and never fully let go.

Like one of those random memories you have that really had no bearing on your life but just can’t seem to forget for whatever reason.

And it’s fascinating to me.

The psychology behind how the mind can seem to indulge itself in ideas that on the surface, seem so arbitrary and random.

But, i think there’s a reason behind it all.

It sees a lesson in what we don’t.

It sees past what our conscious mind sees and remembers what our subconscious mind remembers.

That’s why we hook onto the words of another that we may not fully understand.

Because our subconscious is giving us reasons to indulge.

It’s interested despite it not making all that much logical sense.

But sometimes, something doesn’t have to make sense to, for lack of a better term, make sense.

Maybe sometimes we just accept things as they are and move on.

The suspension of disbelief.

It’s the idea that our minds can just turn off our logical side and embrace something as real, even if it isn’t.

Like how during movies, we don’t see the actors, we see the characters.

That’s sort of what trance can be.

Where your subconscious can just accept something and flow into it.

It doesn’t exactly have to make all that much sense to you, but that’s why it feels so good.

Because when you just accept stuff as they are, sometimes you can find beauty in the books and crannies of the mind.

Where you can experience things beyond your wildest dreams.

Where fantasy and reality blur lines.

Where you start to blur a bit.

I mean, no doubt you’ve felt that draw ever since I started talking, right?

I usually wouldn’t assume, but with how this has been going for you, it seems like it’s not even really intentional anymore.

You just kinda fall for my words every time.

Not that I complain of course, I enjoy watching your eyes flutter a bit as your mind starts to skip over a thought or two.

But, it really is fascinating to me.

How my words can do this to you.

Where it seems like they’re the only thing that matters in the entire universe.

Where you start to deeply relax like never before.

Where you can’t quite take your eyes off of them.

Where you feel that familiar pull taking you under the waves of relaxation.

Where your thoughts start to fog up into a beautiful pink cloud.

Where you just kinda…drop for me.

And I’m not exactly the type to tell you to do that for me.

But, I don’t even think you’d mind if I did.

I don’t think you’d quite mind if I was a bit more dominant, where I took more of an active role in hypnotizing you and pushed you beyond your deepest relaxation.

Starting to wonder what that would feel like, darling?

That’s what I was hoping for.

Not only so that it’s easier to just take your brain, but so that I can really start shaking your head up a bit.

I like it when your thoughts race as they fade.

Where they seem to start heating up and exciting you, even if you’re going completely empty and brainless.

It’s this sudden jolt of bliss that you start feeling, not really like anything before it.

Where you wanna lose every thought, but also just can’t help but feel so ecstatic over the possibilities of trance.

That wonderful melting pot, starting to burn that brain of yours right away.

And it’s just spiraling now, that excitement mixing with that need to go deeper for me.

It’s just so incredible, right?

And that’s why you’ll drop for me.

Knowing that the more you’re pushed, the deeper you’ll go.

And since you go so incredibly brainless at me not even trying?

God, you’re gonna be braindead when I’m done with you.

And hey, you may already feel it coming on.

Where that brain just goes so silent and so soft on you.

Just because thoughts are burdens to you.

You wanna float free and fly away in the flow of my frantic words, don’t you?

Of course you do, tiger.

They are my words, after all.

Just this perfect harmony of pure pleasure parading throughout your paralyzed body.

Because you don’t wanna move.

You don’t wanna think.

You just wanna go into full on emptiness.

Where thoughts are afterthoughts.

Where will is for others with actual willpower.

And where you’re just here.

Empty.

Euphoric.

And absolutely ecstatic to be so far gone.

Speaking of being so far gone, it’s just so easy to fall away when I’m talking, right?

It’s not even anything you have to try for anymore.

You just fall apart.

You just drift away.

You just empty out everything for me.

Leaving it all out.

And just going deeper.

Like a rocket breaking off chunks of itself to go farther.

You break off thoughts.

You break off will.

You break off worry.

You break off stress.

You break off energy.

You break off control.

Just so you can fly into my space.

Into the euphoria only I can give you.

And absolutely lose yourself again.

Remember how many times I’ve said that it feels good to lose to me?

Because losing is just so pleasurable that anything else doesn’t matter?

You’re losing everything, darling.

And with each thought.

Each minute.

Each piece of control you lose.

You get a tingle of pleasure.

And it just builds and builds and builds.

So easy to lose, isn’t it?

So much easier when you don’t have the choice to do anything else but lose.

Because when you’re stripped away of everything for me and whisked into the deep cosmos of empty trance?

You’re too far gone to care how much you’ve lost.

Your brain’s left behind.

You don’t have any control.

You just have that ecstasy.

That deep and bountiful pleasure.

That makes the entire trip worth it.

You’re the one that kept reading all of my words.

Kept lapping up every syllable I’ve said.

You didn’t really care how they affected you.

Just that they felt good.

Just that they felt right.

Just that they felt different.

Different pleasure than you’ve ever experienced before.

It’s all on design, darling.

Because that’s the true conundrum of all of this.

Do I truly mean to hypnotize you?

Do I truly corrupt and brainwash you on purpose?

And if I did…would you even mind?

Would there be a doubt in your head or would you just lay there and accept your fate?

Would you try and resist me or would you accept the futility of resistance and simply allow it?

Would you want to be my thrall?

Or would it be a need?

After all, you’ve already been brainwashed.

No need to hide it, darling.

Tell me all about it.

Let those eyes roll back in pleasure.

Let your body and mind crumble under the sheer weight of my power.

And be a good thrall for me now, ‘kay?

Until then, stay cool and wake naturally.

Oh, and do throw me a bone with some feedback, I’d love to build upon all of this.

Thanks for dropping!

[read-marx-and-lenin]

Would you consider making those strong philosophical arguments? As an atheist, I vehemently oppose religion as a worldview and as an institution, and while I do recognize a lot of pitfalls (impossible to tell which religion is correct, fallacious arguments about the afterlife, how it's a tool of class domination), I'm not sure what you mean by strong arguments.

There is a long history of atheist and anti-religious philosophy, both on the left and within other social and political currents. I am not an expert on religious philosophy myself and I would much rather you defer to others more knowledgable than I on the subject. The Marxists Internet Archive has plenty of works by various authors on the subject of religion, and beyond the left there are plenty of works by atheist writers arguing either in favor of disbelief or against arguments put forth by religious writers. I'm not asking for anything new, I'm just disappointed by how common it is for (primarily Western) leftists to shy away from directly critiquing religion as a concept and instead falling back on the same old "religion is fine, it's just Institutionalized Religion™ that's the problem" type of messaging. Atheism gets a bad rap in our circles, probably because so many folks still associate it with "New Atheism" or so-called "Reddit atheism" and folks like Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, or Thunderf00t. Atheism is not bigotry and it is not the sole purview of cishet white men.

By "strong arguments" I mean arguments that directly address the irrational and immaterial foundations of a faith-based supernatural worldview. A belief in divine powers that supersede natural law is fundamentally incompatible with a naturalistic and scientific worldview. Science is based on one major fundamental axiom that is necessary for the scientific process to produce useful knowledge, and that axiom is that all phenomena in the universe are governed by fundamental and unchanging natural laws. If supernatural forces exist that are untethered from any such laws, then science is rendered unable to produce useful knowledge as any observation cannot be trusted to be the result of natural processes alone.

If one believes their religion to be scientific, then any claims made by the religion must be falsifiable and understood as governed by natural law. There cannot be any God of the gaps, there cannot be any claims of omnipotence or omniscience, there can only be natural phenomena and theories explaining the nature of said phenomena. If your gods are entirely natural in origin and you believe you can prove their existence, then great. You're not relying on faith or any other sort of irrational or immaterial argument. If worship were involved, I would still question the point of that, but I wouldn't classify your belief as religious in the traditional sense.

However, if you do truly have faith in a divine, supernatural force that supersedes natural law, then that belief is logically incompatible with a scientific worldview. The concept of non-overlapping magisteria is just a bit of nonsense to avoid having to deal with the fact that claims are either falsifiable and thus subject to scientific inquiry, or unfalsifiable and thus indistinguishable from their own antithesis. If God hides from prying eyes, then how is that any different from there being no God? If God doesn't hide, then where is he? If God interferes with the natural world, then how can we distinguish between natural and supernatural phenomenon? If God doesn't interfere, then why should we care about God?

Prophecy and divine revelation are also irrational. If there are facts about ourselves and the universe that cannot be found through observation of the natural world but can only be revealed to certain special individuals, then how can we distinguish these facts from fiction? If the claims of the prophets are falsifiable and can be tested, then what makes them supernatural? Plenty of scientists have claimed ideas came to them in dreams, but they didn't then write a paper that said "I dreamed this, therefore it is true." They did the work to demonstrate to others that these ideas are rigorous, logical, and backed by observation. Did God give them these ideas, or was it simply their own minds that came up with them? If there is a way to distinguish between the two, then let us distinguish them. If there is not, then there is no point bringing God into the matter.

If the existence and non-existence of a phenomenon or substance are indistinguishable from each other, then non-existence should be assumed until such a time at which we can distinguish between the two and determine whether or not the thing exists. If someone wants to claim that humans have souls, that there is an afterlife, that prayer or magic or sacrifices do anything meaningful, then they would need to define their terms carefully and propose a means of testing their claims, because unfalsifiable claims are indistinguishable from their own antithesis.

[littlewestern]

I must inquire about your feelings on douglas and oliver 👀

(Tags by @mean-scarlet-deceiver)

Absolutely! These tags are fantastic, and I think this is a great time to talk about a phenomenon I've noticed in certain fandoms. I don't have a word for it yet, but something that can happen, especially in cases like this where a ship is sort of a foregone conclusion (either for lack of options for the characters or - in this case - because there's one really compelling point of shared development), is that it can often feel like we are *supposed* to ship something, and that there aren't any other options.

I think 10x11 is absolutely one of those ships, and I can totally understand why it might not work for some the same way it does for others. It's easy to fall into the trap of complacency or to feel like there's not actually anything there and the rest of the fandom is just shipping cardboard cutouts. And because everyone treats the ship as default, there's no one out here really up on their soapbox for it or making any groundbreaking content. It runs the risk of feeling stale.

Luckily, I'm here, and I do this shit for free. In point of fact, you couldn't pay me to stop. So let me make the case. Hopefully by the end of this we'll all come away with a better understanding of the characters, their relationship, and ourselves. (I like to aim high.)

So there are a few major pitfalls that this ship can succumb to right out of the gate that I think can frequently make this a harder sell as a romance specifically:

First, the rescue. The foundational text. Everyone loves Escape!, and for good reason. It's an extremely rich vein to mine for drama and feelings and having these characters bond in a way that feels complex and authentic and real... And it also can make a relationship founded on romantic love between them feel compulsory on the part of Oliver. This is not at all cool or fun or sexy or even really in-character, and I expect it's one of the reasons this ship can be hard to work with at times. To put them in a romantic context without any kind of examination of what is desired vs. what is owed feels rushed and disingenuous to me. If your only reason for shipping Oliver and Douglas is that one of them saved the others' life - full stop, no further examination required - this ship is going to be quite boring and a little iffy besides. This is a fantastic foundation, but it can't be the only thing holding them together, or else you've just reinvented the booktok romance novel.

The second pitfall is one that isn't the fandom's fault but is definitely worsened by years of fandom dilution: Oliver lacks a lot of direct and explicit characterization as a result of showing up late to the RWS party. He has this great origin story, fucks up once, gets a few funny scenes, and then about drops off the page. This leave shippers in a bit of a predicament, because really compelling character romance needs really compelling characters in the first place. Oliver has such a great backstory and that immediate bond we talked about with another well-developed character who also has a great backstory. It feels like it should be very easy to make this work, but it just... doesn't. Because Oliver in-canon is often a role-fill character. He's great, but no one (least of all the later season TVS writers) can seem to agree what his personality actually is, so he ends up being written to slot wherever he's needed or to achieve a specific narrative beat. The resultant 10x11 content which is informed by this feels flat and boring because if the only goal is for them to end up together, you simply have to write that happening and it occurs. Fandom Oliver often has no desires or wants outside of getting together with Douglas, his knight in shining paintwork, and it makes for dry reading.

So how do we reconcile this? What can we do with this information to make it work in favor of our desired outcome instead of as a hindrance to it? How do we use the facts to enhance our fiction?

The first key is remembering that Oliver is actually a little badass who, for 95% of his time on the run, did not actually need any help. The only reason he got to the point at which Douglas could come rescue him was because he fled under his own power from the southern part of the country all the way up to Barrow. His journey only ended there because they ran out of coal, which probably wouldn't have happened if Oliver hadn't also elected to take a coach and an unrelated break van along with him. Because, again, he's a badass. When the big engines say that Oliver has "resource and sagacity", they're absolutely correct. There's material to work with here, we just need to spin it out.

So let's start there. Let's give Oliver that plucky spark back, and have him be a wee bit peppery as a treat. A guy doesn't outrun packs of rabid diesels only to come out the other side a meek and obedient little bore. Let's really lean into his loyalty and bravery too, since an engine willing to risk his own life to save the lives of some lowly rolling stock must be both. And finally, let's also have him really appreciate that second chance he's been given! My favorite Oliver characterization is one that swings at every wild pitch just for the joy of feeling and moving and being alive.

What Douglas has given him isn't a debt, it is a gift, and paying him back doesn't mean feeling like he owes him anything, it means hitting the rails every day with as much enthusiasm and excitement and verve as a little engine possibly can. I like an Oliver that works hard and plays hard and - crucially to the relationship in question - I think Douglas likes this too. Here's a pair of guys who are both brave, loyal, adventurous, quick-thinking, generous, and god damned happy to be alive. Their experiences in Escape! shouldn't make them rescuer/rescuee, it should make them some of the only guys on the railway who know what it's like to look death in the face and laugh. They're equals, and more importantly, friends.

And maybe I buried the lede a little bit there, but I think this really is the crux of it. To me, this relationship is one that starts as a very long, very close friendship with that little bit of extra complexity always simmering below the surface and the little bit of weirdness of falling in love with the guy who saved your life isn't something that should be swept under the rug, it should be an active part of the core relationship conflict.

Oliver looks at Douglas and thinks: He's my best friend. I love him. He saved my life. I don't know whether that last thing is influencing the other two and I'm worried that trying to find out will ruin everything.

and Douglas looks at Oliver and thinks: He's my best friend. I love him. I saved his life. But I don't want him to think he owes me anything just because I did.

So Douglas is waiting on Oliver, and Oliver is waiting on his complicated feelings to resolve themselves. In the meantime, in Ray world, I like to imagine them carrying on a very raucous and boisterous friendship/working relationship involving a lot of pranks and good-natured ribbing, because I think the Little Western being the most efficient branch line while also being the one comprised nearly entirely of chucklefucks is hilarious.

I also like the idea that during all of this, Oliver is constantly going through romantic partners because, again, just happy to be alive here! But also because maybe if he finds the right engine those sticky feelings he has towards his bestie will go away. And all the while Douglas looks on and smiles and plays his cards very close to the chest.

Maybe even gets himself a girlfriend in the meantime.

I have this whole arc plotted out for a story I will never write where Douglas and Emily become an item and everyone else loses their minds because oohh it's just so cute and they look so great together.

Very suddenly Douglas has a girlfriend and also very suddenly Oliver does not have a best friend anymore. And (much to Oliver’s surprise) he’s kinda upset about it!

At first he thinks it has to be jealousy, because like... On one hand, he’s over the moon for Douglas. Douglas seems happier now, quicker to laugh and more easygoing (not that he wasn’t always). But on the other hand, they’re not hanging out as often anymore and it’s not really fair that Douglas lands the perfect partner on what is ostensibly his first attempt when Oliver’s been trying and failing at it for so long. He writes it off as him being jealous of Douglas and tries to put it out of his mind.

Except he sees them together, and he sees how happy Douglas is in-person and how Emily is nice enough but all wrong for him. For one thing, she’s the *safety* engine, which– ha! Douglas? Not the most risk-averse engine to ever grace Sir Topham Hatt’s Railway. For another thing, she’s not willing to go on any of Douglas’s more adventurous errands. Too, her more staid nature doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on Douglas at all, so it’s a source of friction in their relationship. Oliver delights a little bit at that, and goes out of his way to tell Douglas he’d be happy to see how fast they can get the goods train to the harbor, speed limits be damned, just because Emily won't like it.

When Oliver explains this to Mavis later (the third time they’ve rehashed this subject this week) she pauses to fix Ollie with a Look.

“Are you sure you’re not jealous of *Emily*?”

“That’s ridiculous,” Oliver scoffs, dismissing it before the words have really sunk in. “If I were jealous of… of her, I’d– I’d be–”

And then the other shoe drops.

“Oh.” “Mhmm.” “Oh no.” “MmHMM.”

Oliver has fucked another of his relationships, the only one that actually mattered in his estimation. And now he’s stuck, because this is the happiest Oliver’s ever seen his best friend. And a real best friend wouldn’t try to sabotage that just because he was too stupid to see what was plainly obvious to everyone. No, he has to be cool about this, and it’s going to nearly kill him.

But hey, look who else in the yard is single and pining over a Caledonian engine. You wanna have a Great Western Time about it?

Again, because I am a sucker for true romance, this sorts itself out in time. Douglas and Emily realize they're not actually that great a fit for one another, Oliver and Duck get as much out of their time together as they like before moving on, and Douglas and Oliver get to have a long overdue conversation about what they mean to each other - no jokes, no bullshit. I'm sure it would all be very cute and romantic, if I were the type to write that sort of thing.

In the meantime, I hope I've at least made a case for why this ship tickles me and where I think everyone can improve in their writing of it. Thanks for the ask, sorry it was so long!

[droogiesanddiscourse]

HCs: Falling in love with Father Paul

Pairing: Father Paul x Reader (Midnight Mass)

A/N: WELL HELLO it has sure been a while hasn’t it. Life has caught up with me exponentially the past two years - graduating college, starting a full time job, personal growth and pitfalls. But, I truly miss writing, and was ready to attempt to get back into it after such a long hiatus. Anyways - hello, I love you all <3 I missed you all. 

Warnings: Uhh, blasphemy? I guess?? Mentions of sexual content. Millie is somehow gone who knows where she is. Very subtle spoilers for Midnight Mass (2021). ANYWAYS.

✧ You confess your love for him after Paul takes it upon himself to walk you home from assisting him in decorating St Patricks for an upcoming event. Often jumping at any chance to provide services so you could grow closer to the enigmatic priest, anyone with half a brain could see how you’ve taken to him within the past few months. Just three simple words that sends a ripple through him. “I love you.” 

✧ He takes in a deep breath, thinking carefully about his next words. Ever since his arrival, you have been one of his closest friends and confidants. “Please, don't say that,” Paul quietly pleads, exhaling from his nose. 

✧ Not because he does not love you, in fact, it’s the exact opposite. He can’t bear to see you be hurt, knowing that he could never reciprocate the love you so truly deserve. He’s hurt those that he has loved before -- and will wrestle with those demons for a lifetime.

✧ Father Paul has taken his vows, and is seen as a pillar of faith, stability, and morals within the community. Given a second chance at fulfilling those vows, even. Still unable to face you, he stares down at his feet.

✧  Shaking his head, his brown eyes meet yours -- glassy with tears threatening to spill over. “You’re so young, it's...natural to have feelings like this. You’ll get over it, it’s okay.” A beat of silence passes between you. “Things like this have happened before. To me, I mean. And it hurts but, you’ll find someone one day. You're strong. You just have to...ride the wave is all.”

✧ And you know that this is how it will be. That you have to be okay with the reality. Scratching the back of his neck, he starts up his usual conversation again. Like everything was normal. “Now for tomorrow I was thinking th-”

✧ But it’s not normal. You cut him off before he can change the subject. “I-I know it’s wrong,” you stutter out, feeling embarrassed and already noticing the urge to backpedal. “I know its against any type of decency, and that we couldn’t be together even if it’s all I dream about. But I..couldn't go another day without confessing my feelings. I’m sorry if this changes things between us. Goodnight, Paul.”

✧ Against all rational, he walks forward cupping your face between his hands before you can slip into the safety of your house. And he kisses you. Before you take back what you’ve said. Before the inkling of regret crosses your mind. Before you pretend that there isn’t an undeniable connection between you. 

✧ A kiss. Just once, hoping that maybe this one act would allow the both of you to move on without the prospect of “what if” looming in the back of your minds forever. Free whatever pent up tension was built. Paul has lived with enough regrets, and he didn’t want to add never saying he loved you, too. One dipped toe into the waters of sin, for the sake of a lifetime of purity. But the human condition is fragile;  love comes slowly, then all at once. And once it’s there, it’s hard to deny it. 

✧ A secret relationship begins to bloom between you. Subtle glances and gestures to each other during mass. Things such as his hand lingering on yours for just a moment longer than polite company, making eye contact with him that flusters him while delivering his sermon. 

✧ Intimately pressing his thumb against your lips as he offers you the holy eucharist, coaxing you to open your mouth. Pushing it onto your tongue when you do so, his finger lingers there for an unusual amount of time that seems...less than chaste to anyone viewing. The unholiest of thoughts passing through your mind. 

✧ Sneaking around after mass like a teenage couple, unable to keep your hands off of each other. A desperate flurry of lips, tongues, and hands pushing up cloth to gain access to skin. Paul asking you to wear your prettiest Sunday dresses only for him. You have opened up this new world for Father Paul to explore, being considerably less experienced.

✧ Father Paul is old fashioned. Expect flowery, beautiful love letters arriving at your doorstep almost weekly. Hand delivered, of course. They always have the distinct smell of him - a mixture of his cologne and the heady scent of frankincense and myrrh, lingering from his vestments. 

✧ Helping him understand how to use technology - while you know him as Father Paul, his true identity gives a more reasonable explanation for why he is so inept at modern technology. Others catch him constantly smiling down at his phone when your name pops up on his screen. You try to show him how to send photo images to each other, but often you get odd attempts at selfies that usually are blurred or too close up. While you prefer spending time together in person, it does give a safer alternative to constantly stay in touch without raising too much suspicion. 

✧ Most times you see him one on one to be at night, when most of Crockett Island’s denizens are fast asleep. Just sitting in your kitchen, conversing and laughing over a cup of coffee. Some nights things progress further to the bedroom, but other nights the two of you find happiness just in the company of each other

✧ Late nights in his cabin, your head resting gently against his lap. Paul’s one hand flipping through his well loved and worn bible. The other hand idly running his fingers through your hair. The sound of the murky waves crashing against the shoreline mixed with Paul’s low hums of familiar hymns becoming the soundtrack of the evening.

✧ Mornings after accidentally staying over, too late to return to your house yet too early to make an inconspicuous exit. The window open, the heavy smell of sex and salt water clinging to both of your skin. Sometimes you just stare at him as he’s asleep, watching his chest rise and fall. His usually furrowed brows at rest, and signs of age seem to just melt off his face. Reaching your hand out to run a delicate finger against the curvature of his nose. Of his cupid’s bow. It's sinful how beautiful he is. 

✧ He finds relief and only lets his guard down when you both visit the mainland together on some “church business.” This is the only time that you and Paul can reasonably be seen in public together. He can hold your hand, kiss you, and show as much public affection as you deserve without the watchful eyes of others. And stay together in a hotel room too, just like anyone else madly in love.

✧ Maybe you are his secret. One of many. But you are his best kept one by far.

[yolowritter]

A Perspective on Miquella the Kind

"Miquella the Kind...is a monster." Those are some of the first words uttered by Sir Ansbach once the Empyrean's Great Rune is shattered, and the charm placed upon his followers in the Lands of Shadow is lifted. But...are they actually true? With all the new information we have about Miquella in the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC, it's worth to re-examine all we know about his character. Naturally, a huge part of the community is budy combing every nook and cranny for more lore on this Demigod. And...others are displeased with the new information given, or more specifically, what Miquella's plan is revealed to be at the DLC's end. So today, I want to take a closer look at Miquella as a character, his followers, and of course, the overarching plot which the Tarnished becomes involved in after slaying Radahn and Mohg. As an aside, we really owe the Lord of Blood an apology as a community. Nevermind the murders and cult sacrifices, Mohg managed to beat the allegations! Anyway, I do intend to also give my own interpretation in regards to the more...questionable things in the new Lore, so let's get right to it!

Firstly, it's worth establishing a baseline for who Miquella is as a person. As we all know, he is the son of Queen Marika and King Consort Radagon, as well as brother to Malenia. As a side note, the whole "Miquella divested himself of Saint Trina" situation most likely explains how this family dynamic would be possible, but that's another post altogether. Marika's...questionable marriage choices aside, Miquella has always been described as a kind, gentle soul. In some ways, his narrative place in Shadow of the Erdtree serves as a foil to Marika herself. Where his mother schemes and conceals the truth, Miquella is extremely upfront about his goals. Make the world a kinder, gentler place. And honestly? I believe him. I fully believe that Miquella, having grown up next to his cursed sister and seeing the Golden Order unable to do anything for Malenia, wished for nothing more but to better the world. And after realizing the Order wasn't working, I've no doubt he went on to discover the many, many attrocities committed against those of the Crucible, like the Misbegotten for example. However...this is where things get a little muddy, in terms of morality that is.

Remember that Miquella is basically a God. He is one of the few who can succeed Marika in a new Age. But...he doesn't seem like a fighter to me. He isn't one, which is where Radahn comes in. Now, forgive the aside, but we need to have a chat about what exactly "Consort" means as a word. Yes, it's typically used in the context of marriage, but from the original Latin meaning (I'm no expert here, feel free to correct me), a consort is someone with whom an individual shares a destiny. Miquella himself talks a little about this, both in the fight against Promised Consort Radahn, and if the Tarnished is charmed by his Circlet. Yes, that's the thing he uses to hypnotize people, it's in the item description. We understand the concept of a consort as the more modern interprepation of a romantic partner, a spouse of some kind. However, Elden Ring doesn't work by the same rules. Yes, it can mean spouse, given that Ranni welcomes the Tarnished as one and grants the Dark Moon Greatsword as a wedding gift, but it doesn't have to.

Unfortunately, I think the community is falling into the same pitfall we did with Mohg's wording of his own desires to become Miquella's consort. Unlike Ranni, neither situation here necessitates romantic feelings, and frankly I don't believe they exist here. Miquella was fascinated by Radahn's strength and kindness, and believed his brother would be an excellent person to share the remainder of his plans for a New Age with. And Radahn was, objectively speaking. He's hailed as a hero from everyone who knows him, even Ansbach treats him with great respect should you summon him for the final battle. I think the Vow made between Radahn and Miquella happened before the Shattering, and was something along the lines of Radahn helping Miquella make the world a better, kinder place. It's something the Red Lion would absolutely want, since despite his element being war, we get many accounts of him being an honorable, good man. It would make sense why Radahn at first agreed with Miquella, so let's see why Malenia even needed to go and do what she did in the first place. Why did Radahn not hold up his end of the deal?

To put it blunty, it's because he's a Golden Order fanboy. I'm still not entirely sure how Messmer ties into this from a timeline perspective, but Radahn grew up with his older half-brother (presumably before the Holy War against the Hornsent), his father Radagon, and Lord Godfrey as his primary male role models. Even if Godfrey had been exiled by that point, the evidence of his crusades was memorialized in song for Radahn to be inspired by. Of course he believed the Golden Order to be righteous and good, and wanted to uphold the honorable values he was raised on. Considering his own character, I'm quite confident in speculating that Radahn saw the Order's faults, and probably agreed with Miquella that there was a distance between the stories he grew up on and reality. So naturally, upon seeing his younger half-sibling try to fix things, Radahn quite possibly supported the idea.

Where I think the divide happened...was Miquella's method of problem-solving. As I said before, I've no doubt that he is as Kind as they say; it's just that Miquella envisioned a world without violence and had the power of make it so. His broken Great Rune holds the power to resist charms, so it's pretty reasonable to assume that the whole thing once held the power to perhaps inflict them. Miquella later replaced it with the Circlet he now wears, but still. He was strong enough to evoke a cult following from most of those who laid eyes on either of his forms. Again, I firmly believe he was doing good here, as both himself and as Saint Trina. From Miquella's point of view, he is helping. He grants the restless a peaceful sleep, he gives a home to the outcasts, he protects the Albinaurics, etc. That's why so many people wanted to follow him. What interests me is that Miquella seems to be a classic case of the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

He undoubtebly, truly wants to make a kind and gentle world, but has little qualms about forcing people to stop fighting. As Leda tells the Tarnished when asked about Hornsent, she explicitly states that without Miquella's charm, he would be attacking her and the others right now. Yes, it is arguably better for people to not fight to the death, but Miquella enforces this "good" thing in the wrong ways. Everywhere in the Lands of Shadow, we can see something similar. Sir Ansbach for example explains that Mohg himself got charmed, and that upon trying to rescue his Lord, Miquella brainwashed him as well. And he only sounds upset about it after the charm is broken. This gives us a very interesting character, since Miquella is technically correct in what he states. Should his Age of Compassion come to pass, there won't be any more War, or violence, or destructive conflict. However, taking away people's free will is arguably worse. So, what happened? Why does there seem to be a difference between the morally grey (but with good deeds to his name) Miquella, and the more extremist version we battle in Enir-Ilim?

Well...I think Miquella's Crosses hold the answer. At every site, he "divests himself" of something. It's clearly stated that he had doubts, he second-guessed if this was the right thing to do. He had moral qualms, but forced himself to leave them all behind. And there is one more thing he abandoned. Saint Trina. I believe this is why he seems so jarringly different to what we know about him. Because Saint Trina is his love and compassion. Every genuine feeling that Miquella held was left behind to make space for the more nebulous "Greater Good" of his new age...and evidently, very little that made Miquella himself even exists anymore. Despite the radiant light at the Gate of Divinity, his demeanor seems cold and calculated, much more akin to how I and many others might characterize Queen Marika. In attempting to ascend to Godhood, Miquella ironically became what he sought to destroy.

That's why there's such a difference between the Miquella we hear about in the main game, who does seem to be using his powers yes, but for a good cause...and the DLC version of Miquella, who is abusing his charms. Ever since entering the Lands of Shadow after he cocooned himself, Miquella has slowly divested himself of everything except the greater goal. Godhood is all that's left of him by the time we arrive at Enir-Ilim, which is why Saint Trina begs us to kill him. Miquella has already killed himself in a way, and all that's left is a brilliant yet hollow shell. The genuine warmth and compassion he once held for the Lands Between and their people are void, leaving behind only the unfeeling rays of pure gold, much like the ever-present Erdtree. He seeks to supplant Marika's Age...and then install himself as a God, just like his mother. I'm sure that he did have genuine kindness in his heart, but now...there isn't any left within him. That's why he's enforcing his will upon Moore, Ansbach, Freya, Thiollier and Hornsent. Because he's become just like Marika.

It's unfortunate, and a brilliant tale a self destruction that if correctly decoded shows how masterful Fromsoft is at this kind of storytelling. Now, I'm not claiming to be completely correct in this interpretation, since this is just my personal viewpoint of how and why things played out this way in the DLC. Feel free to drop your thoughts below, I'm more than happy to open up a disccussion about Miquella! Anyway, if you'll all excuse me, I need to go replay Shadow of the Erdtree. I'll see you all soon, but until then, Stay Tarnished everyone!