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#wherein thor and loki are twins and no one ever questions it ever
worstloki · 2 years
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I need answers
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callunavulgari · 5 years
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TOP 25 FICS OF 2018
1. A Cornstalk Fiddle by @notbecauseofvictories | Devil Went Down To Georgia | The Devil/Johnny | 17k
Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.
Heather Says: So. I never thought that my favorite fic of the entire year would be a fic written about a song - and one that I don’t even particularly like - but here I am. I read this fic the same night that I finally broke down and watched Moonlight, and ended up listening to Moonlight’s End Credits and Hello Stranger by Barbara Lewis on repeat while I finished that first chapter on my back porch. This is that perfectly atmospheric fic that you’ll find maybe once every ten years and could probably sustain you on its memory for just as long.
2. Work of All Saints by @kaikamahine | Coco | Imelda/Hector/Ernesto | 210k
Imelda Rivera (b. 1899 - d. 1969), a story that includes but is not limited to: the finest music school this side of the Santo Domingo, three traveling musicians and the mess they made of love, the twice-cursed assassination of Venustiano Carranza, all the patron saints, and ninety-six ways a man can try to cross a bridge.
Heather Says: This story blew my entire mind. It was lovely, and tragic, and hilarious, and everything that a good novel should be. The parts of this fic that map out the unseen lives of Imelda, Hector, and Ernesto, that hidden backstory that a movie can only hint about, were exquisite to the point that I was afraid getting to the point where, well, they die, would be a letdown. It really wasn’t. If anything, the story managed to get richer as it went along, until suddenly you’re in a room sobbing into a pillow at four in the morning and have to be awake in four hours. No regrets.
3. Under the Covers by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 87k
Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates.
Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).
Heather Says: Under the Covers was the first Harringrove fic that actually kicked me over the edge from ‘eh this ship looks like it would have good hate sex’ and into full-fledged believer. It’s an intricately crafted look into the world of Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington post-season two and it is absolutely glorious.
4. Bloody Ruin by esama | Castlevania | Alucard/Trevor | 37k
Vampire hunter and a vampire try to get along.
Heather Says: Written before season two came out, this was one of those fics that I clicked on because the pairing interested me and I wanted to see how it worked. It did not disappoint, and even after I delved through the tag on ao3 after I marathoned season two, this is still my favorite.
5. a road less traveled and a life less led by Azzandra | Dishonored | Billie & The Outsider | 9k
She took him out of the Void, as promised. And then she kept him, she supposed.
Heather Says: You know all that fanart that started cropping up after Death of the Outsider came out? The ones where Billie and the Outsider crept around Dunwall or Karnaca stealing fish and safes and graffiti-ing buildings? The ones with that found family vibe? Yeah. This fic scratches the same itch that all that art did.
6. But I’m Not There Yet by sarahyyy | Yuri On Ice | Yuri/Otabek | 71k
“Are you not going to read the article?” she asks, flopping onto his bed. “Look who ranked second, just after Phichit Chulanont.”
Otabek reluctantly scrolls down, and oh. #2 - Yuri Plisetsky
In the embedded Instagram photo just under that subheading, a very grumpy Yuri is cuddling a very grumpy-looking cat. The caption reads: I found the cat version of me at the shelter today. #iknowisaidnomorecats #canyoublameme
Heather Says: And here, in the stupid cute category we have teenagers navigating love through social media. What’s more, there’s a companion fic.
7. flowers start to bloom in every different hue by orphan-account | Coraline | Coraline/Wybourn | 1k
Coraline grows up, gets a tattoo, and falls in love. In that order.
Heather Says: I read this fic on a slow day at work, often in quick bursts while I was waiting for the kitchen to finish my table’s food. It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s perfect. And honestly? It’s everything that I was looking for when I ventured into the Coraline tag on ao3 because I was curious.
8. Victory Conditions by @astolat | Transformers | Megatron/Optimus Prime | 37k
“Do you want me to tell you a story?” Megatron said mockingly. “You won’t like it, Prime. It’s not a very nice one.”
Heather Says: Fun fact, I’m not even in this fandom. I haven’t touched the Transformers fandom since the first movie came out in 2007 and I spent a very confusing week shipping a boy and his car. But Astolat has literally never lead me wrong, and I was having one of those bored days where nothing quite itches the right spot, so I sat down on the couch and spent two hours reading this. Worth it.
  9. just in it for the game by grim_lupine | Thor | Thor/Loki | 6k
“It's excellent rehabilitation for my image,” Loki says, widening his eyes. “They love you, and because of that they'll trust me. You wouldn't ruin this for me, would you?”
Thor glares at him.
Loki’s mouth twitches. “Also, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.”
Heather Says: The Thor/Loki bug never really bit me until after Ragnorak came out. I mean, sure, I read it and it was good, but hella’s Frostiron fics basically destroyed me for any other Loki pairing. HOWEVER. Ragnorak happened and screwed that all the way up. Also, you know, this fic is absolutely lovely and was just what the doctor ordered.
10. so this guy walks into a bar by MasterOfAllImagination | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 2.5k
“Bourbon,” Hermann says, hooking his cane on the edge of the bar and sliding by degrees onto a stool.
“Straight up?” the bartender asks.
“Please.” Does he look like the kind of man who enjoys having his nostrils fumigated by undiluted whiskey? “On the rocks.”
Heather Says: I coped with Pacific Rim 2 by reading a couple AUs and a couple very, very long fics full of tragedy and math. Weirdly, the AU of a chance meeting in a bar was the one that stuck.
11. cherry pie by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 133k
Billy Hargrove lives for summer. Endless sunshine, heavily chlorinated pools, roaming ice cream trucks, and unencumbered freedom? There’s nothing better.
Even being stuck in Hawkins can’t ruin the summer for him. He eats it up, devouring every day whole.
Heather Says: Yeah, okay, but this is the fic that made summer worth it. Highly recommend reading at the pool or with your feet hanging off the back porch. Every piece of this fic was dripping in summertime nostalgia. It was fan-freaking-tastic.
12. the ghost and the good queen val by Wildehack (tyleet) | Thor | Thor/Valkyrie/Loki | 27k
“What,” she says, her heart racing, “was that.”
“What was what?” Korg asks, frowning up at her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Valkyrie squints suspiciously at the ship.
“Oh my god,” Korg says. “You did! You saw a ghost!”
Heather Says: So, remember how I coped with Pacific Rim 2 with copious AUs? This is how I coped with Infinity War.
13. For Better or Worse by DragonBandit  | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 22k
All Damien ever wanted was someone who wanted him. All Damien deserves is to die alone, stripped bare of any of the comforts or affections of humanity, a title he willingly shed.
Mark Bryant seems to be the Universe's compromise.
Wherein Damien and Mark are soulmates, and this changes enough.
Heather Says: I think I’ve read this one three or four time this year? It’s 22k of well-written fic for a fandom that has a max of like 100 fics all with lengths that tend to vary between a couple hundred words to 2 or 3k, max. This fic is the one that really catapulted me into the fandom. 
14. in waves by @lymricks | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 38k
It’s March and it’s too cold for Billy to be shirtless and wearing shorts, but he hadn’t noticed until Harrington appeared and made him hold still. Harrington can’t seem to stop looking at the bruises. “What’s it to you if I miss a little school, Harrington?” Billy asks. He feels goosebumps rising on his skin.
“I don’t know,” Harrington snaps back, looking uncomfortable. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Plant your feet, Billy wants to scream at him. I’m going to bowl you over.
Heather Says: And here we have the first fic that wasn’t written by either @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger or @brawlite that made me realize that this fandom was gonna be a good one. So fantastic.
15. the cure by aquaexplicit | The Flash | Cisco/Harry | 43k
“I guess I don’t really get what you need to fix? Harrison Wells is a hot, rich genius that pays you to make cool stuff with his daughter and is totally into you. If you guys boning is the biggest problem you have, I think this officially qualifies as your best relationship ever.”
When Barry puts it like that, everything sounds so simple and not at all as angst ridden as Cisco has been suffering the past few months.
Cisco hangs up on him.
Heather Says: I remember a couple years ago, I fell absolutely head over heels for this one Sterek fic where Derek had twin toddlers and Stiles was the hired babysitter. So I think there’s something about dad + babysitter fics that get me, even if this one in particular the ‘baby’ in question is a fifteen year old genius. Still. Dad + babysitter. I don’t even know, but apparently it works for me.
16. pull out the insides by SpineAndSpite | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 3k
“Stop,” Damien says again, more insistent this time.
“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Mark's heart pounds in his ears and he sees Damien’s hands shaking. God. They shouldn’t have started talking about sex. Shouldn’t have filled in the colors and shadows to this pencil outline of a sketch forming between them. They shouldn’t have given it a name.
Heather Says: This year seems to have had a theme when it comes to fics that I’ve liked and it seems to boil down to: people who are bad for each other have sex and catch feelings. Mark/Damien is not the healthiest ship. But it also hurts in this stupidly tragic way and hell if I didn’t fall head over heels for it.
17. tell me, get my shit together by paperclipbitch | Star Wars | Han/Lando | 5k
“I thought we were actively avoiding each other after the Trandosha Shitshow,” Han says.
“We’re actively avoiding each other after the Iridonia Shitshow,” Lando corrects him, “the Trandosha Shitshow is That Which We Do Not Speak Of.”
Heather Says: So, guess what I did in the two to three hours after seeing Solo? If you guessed: ‘combed through ao3 until you ran out of fic’ ding ding ding, you are 100% correct. This one was very, very good, which makes sense, because paperclipbitch has some good shit.
18. chases, escapes, true love, miracles by pepperfield | The Flash | Cisco/Harry 55k
Just because the timeline has been restored, doesn't mean things are back to normal. Cisco's got 99 problems, and Harry Wells is approximately 38 of them.
In which Cisco makes a bunch of plans, fails most of them, narrowly avoids being disintegrated, receives a hug or two, finds his groove, and gets his man. More or less in that order.
Heather Says: This one was long and wibbly wobbly, because it was basically what season 3 should have been. But it was also really great, and had some super quality Harrisco interactions.
19. Your Pretty Little Heart by Ever-so-reylo | Star Wars | Reylo | 64k
Modern day AU in which Ben is an Alpha, Rey is an Omega, and they are way better at having sex than at communicating with each other.
Heather Says: Speaking of people who are probably a little bit bad for each other... This particular fic was new to me, not because of the um, extensive sexual content, but because I’m usually not a fan of A/B/O. But this one was extremely good, enough that I actually liked it for a/b/o aspect rather than in spite of it.
20. Draconia by perceived_nobility | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k
"So I was driving. One ex wife and one ex husband later, stopping at the same fucking gas stations you and I stopped at."
Heather Says: This fic actually prompted a 3 hour long conversation on the ‘adult’ Mark/Damien discord where we basically outlined an entire fic that I never got around to writing where Damien is raising a child, has a farm, and runs into Mark ten years down the ride. One day, I might write it, because vaguely domestic, meet-again-ten-years-down-the-road fics always bowl me right the fuck over and just. There needs to be more fic like this one in the world. But until then, the world can marvel at the beauty that is this one.
21. Artifice by buttpatrol | Wolf 359 | Hera/Eiffel | 23k
A story told in parts about colour palettes, identity, robot uprisings, sensational trials, space, and messy love.
Heather Says: As I’ve recently finished relistening to Wolf 359 I have a fresh appreciation for this fic, which is one of the only longer fics on ao3 that just grips you by the heart and squeezes the same way that the series does. It might have been written before the end of the series, but it’s honestly just as perfect.
22. (shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 93k
The most dangerous thing walking around Hawkins goes by the name Billy Hargrove.
And he fucking knows it.
Heather Says: I’m kind of cheating here, because this is a series rather than a single fic, but I’m not picking just one part. I read the first four or so parts of this fic when I was visiting my family in South Carolina and spent the next few days wandering around the place half-in Steve Harrington’s headspace. It was an incredibly surreal experience, which lead to a pretty strong combination of mania, depression, and an indescribable craving for ice cream. So like, maybe don’t read this fic if you’re in a bad head space? But also it’s very good and features one of the most fucked up and intriguing Steve’s that I’ve seen yet.
23. Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya | Yuri On Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | 197k
‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’
Heather Says: I actually read this one on the plane ride down to South Carolina, and kind of didn’t like it at first? I’m not sure if it was just the act of putting Yuuri and Victor into the position of rivals that made me uncomfortable or the goddamn delays that turned half a day of travelling into a full one, but eventually I was able to get into and enjoyed it quite a bit. I really like the rivals to lovers trope, so I’d been looking forward to this one a lot.
24. Traveling Far by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne | 24k
Three weeks into their delightful slog across Westeros, during yet another charming day of shitting in the woods, eating half-raw squirrel, and trudging his feet bloody, the single most dour and uninteresting woman Jaime had ever met in all of Westeros stopped in the middle of a field, drew a deep breath, and said, “When I was seven, my aunt came to visit with her son. My father told me that as the daughter of the house, it was my duty to show hospitality to my guests and to be gracious to them. I wanted to make him proud. So for three weeks, I let my cousin follow me around and talk to me about spiders.”
Heather Says: I’ve become very fond of astolat’s Jaime/Brienne fics, and I think this one is my favorite yet. Featuring Starks, found family, and a whole lot of walking.
25. lilies of the valley (cover me with kisses, make my garden grow) by diasterisms | Star Wars | Reylo | 8k
Every girl is entitled to the mistake. That one colossal fuck-up that permanently alters the terrain of who you are. You'll either learn from it or you won't, so might as well have the time of your life.
Heather Says: I just. I really like flower shop AUs, and the idea of a Kylo Ren who owns a sleek flower shop being menaced by a tiny gremlin in a leather jacket just. Kills me. It was really sweet and all kinds of wonderful.
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imagine-loki · 6 years
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fear and other related emotions
TITLE: Fear and Other Related Emotions
CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter-19
AUTHOR: latent-thoughts ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine meeting Loki to interrogate him while he is incarcerated in the Helicarrier glass enclosure. He initially tries to scare you away but then becomes interested in you as you keep talking to him. RATING: NC-17/ MA NOTES/WARNINGS: Warning for explicit sexual situations and violence (combat/fighting/interrogations).
A/N: Plot, feels, angst, and a lot of confusion… well, at least for Tony Stark, I suppose.
________________________________________
Grey and foggy and cold…
That’s all that Reva could discern as she opened her eyes and assessed the world around her.
Where was she even? Where was Ultron? Where were others? Where was that goddamn quinjet?
Questions swirled like eddies in her mind as she tried to see beyond the fog that seemed to pervade everywhere around the dreary place she was in. The air seemed so heavy, she was hardly able to breathe it in. She was avoiding taking large gulps of it, for her chest was already aching.
Then, her mind sensed the presence of another… something that only the scepter had previously aided her in doing. The last she saw of the scepter was… when it was going right into her chest. There was a constant ache in her chest still… where the scepter had embedded itself, and somehow, it gave her a sense of still being in contact with it. Presently, though, she couldn’t see it anywhere on her person.
Before she could discern as to why it felt like the scepter was with her, a figure stepped forth from the fog.
It was a woman, at least in form, and much to Reva’s amazement, her mind was vulnerable to Reva’s present capabilities. Seeing her visage and reading her thoughts, Reva couldn’t contain the gasp that burst from her chest.
Loki hadn’t been wrong when he had said that she had taken his features in her new form. She did, convincingly, look like his progeny.
“I must admit, I didn’t expect to see you here this soon,” she said, resting her hands on her waist as she scrutinized Reva from head to toe.
“Lady… Hel,” Reva whispered in surprise, wondering just what the fuck was happening to her.
Maybe she had died after all, even though it felt vaguely like a dream.
The realization slowly crept up to her like a vine, that she was in a place Loki had once mentioned in passing, the twin realms—Helheim and Nilfheim—the land of the dead, the undead, and everything in between.
“I see that you realize where you are, mortal.” Hel kept looking her up and down, her thoughts focusing on Loki. It was curiosity at first, but that was soon surpassed by darker thoughts.
Thoughts which Reva was now privy to, but tried to not let it show…
It disturbed her… to see Loki in Hel’s mind. A broken, defeated man at first… and then, a begrudging ally. It gave her new insights, though, not just on Loki, but on several other things.
Things that perhaps even Loki wasn’t aware of…
“Well, at least, say something. I tire of your dull, petrified act.” Hel was acting as if she was super bored. “Make my efforts to come down here worthwhile.”
Reva kept the dread shut away in a compartment of her mind and tried to respond to the lady of the dead.
“Don’t you address everyone who comes down here?” Her voice grew scratchy and wobbly as she said that, wondering just what was going on in the realms of the living.
Would Loki miss her? Mourn her?
“It’s not every day that I’m made to visit the rims of my realm, least of all by someone from a weaker race.”
If Reva wasn’t having a meltdown, she might have rolled her eyes at being called weak. She also noted that Hel was essentially posturing, trying to appear more dominant. Her mind was a strange thing to observe, probably the strangest she might ever see.
And in that weird, dark place, Reva found uncertainty and even… disquiet.
As Hel’s thoughts meandered and looped around her, Reva discovered something unusual therein. She saw the strange circumstances of how she arrived here, and how they seemed to parallel Loki’s when he had arrived. Only, he had travelled to Hel’s palace, knowing the way, while Reva was just standing still.
However, that wasn’t why Reva was both intrigued and growing strangely optimistic upon seeing Hel’s ticking mind. As she saw the inner workings of this ancient force of nature, she realized that in this moment, she had a sort of advantage over her.
Hel sighed. “I had expected a better conversationalist than this, considering how loquacious my… father is.”
It was a deliberate dig at Loki, and Reva could see that Hel wanted to stir shit up by acknowledging him as her progenitor. Reva shrugged, showing how unmoved she was to be told this twisted bit of information.
“He talks enough for both of us.”
Hel chuckled, and the sound grated on Reva’s nerves.
“Ah well… so tell me, girl, do you wish to go back to him?”
“Of course.”
“I see, and for what it is worth, I do wish the same, if only to see my father happy once again.” She held a hand over her heart, making a mockery of caring for Loki. “There is, however, a burden attached to such fate—no one escapes my realm without paying a debt. Even he had to pay it.”
Reva almost wanted to laugh. “Oh, I know. But I’m not interested in bargaining with you.”
Hel’s expression darkened upon hearing Reva’s rather impertinent response. She had least expected it.
“You think you have a choice?” she growled through gritted teeth, stepping closer to Reva. “You think that being his consort gives you any privilege here?”
It took a lot of courage for Reva to not withdraw as Hel approached her, looking fittingly ominous for a creature who thrived on death.
“No, but I’m aware of the workings of this realm, and of my descent here.”
A beat passed… wherein Reva endured a fiery glare from the lady of the dead.
Then, much to her surprise, Hel chuckled. Though, it wasn’t a pleasant sound.
“So I see why he chose you,” she said cuttingly, reaching up with her pale hands, as if to pat Reva’s cheeks.
Reva kept telling herself to not flinch, repeatedly, as her long, pale fingers caressed her jaw. “Any message I can give him from your side?”
Hel smiled, her eyes flashing with malevolent glee. “Just remind him of the bargain he made with me.”
———————————————–
Fear is a great motivator…
Loki was intimately aware of that. Fear came in many garbs, forms and manifestations.
Presently, as he tried to reach his beloved, fear came roaring back in the form of loss. He had already lost one person he loved and treasured, losing another would… end him.
His seidr flared in his fingertips, as he let go of Thor and grabbed on to the door mechanism on the flying ship, pulling it open. Thor landed beside him as he took in the scene before him.
Absolute mayhem greeted him, with screaming, shouting and glowing orbs of energy being blasted. Loki stopped dead in his tracks the moment his eyes found Reva.
She was pinned to the ship’s interior with the scepter. It was embedded in her chest, and she wasn’t moving. A pool of blood was forming beneath her… reminding Loki of the vision Wanda had showed him not long ago… the vision he had tried so hard to prevent.
No…
The earlier feeling of sheer panic and desperation swelled into something darker and more intense as Loki dashed to Reva.
“Reva, no,” he muttered, channelling his magic into the strongest healing spell he knew. “This isn’t happening. I’m not letting you die.”
Her life force was still there, though very faint, as detected by his magic. He pushed the spell directly into her chest, holding his palm against her wound, right next to the scepter. It was then that he noticed that it was humming and glowing brighter than ever. He tried to communicate with it but didn’t receive any response this time.
Behind him, he heard more shouting, Thor included. He couldn’t discern any of it, for his mind was solely focused on the task of healing. The spell was weaving around the wound, and thankfully, the scepter wasn’t blocking it.
The wound was healing, however, Reva’s life force was still very weak. It felt like only a thin tether was holding her to the land of the living, and any wrong action from him would sever it forever. It needed strengthening.
Loki closed his eyes, attempting to summon the very last vestiges of his seidr. He had already infused the majority of it into the spell. There wasn’t much left to summon. He knew it wasn’t enough to revive her life force.
“Thor,” he called, his hand still pressed to her healing wound. “Are the children dealt with?”
In a moment, Thor was next to him. “They’re not going to attack. They destroyed the automation that hurt her.”
He didn’t remove his eyes from Reva. “I… need assistance from you.”
“I’m here, brother.”
Gritting his teeth, Loki tapped into his own life force. “Pull the scepter out slowly as the wound closes. Keep a watch on it and don’t rush.”
“Aye, I’ve done this before, when Hogun had been struck by a spear in Vanaheim.” He sounded confident, though not boastful, which was a mercy.
Loki nodded. “She’s frailer than Hogun. Now… begin slowly.”
He narrowed his eyes to focus as he fed his life force directly into Reva, strengthening the tether that had kept her life secured till now. It drained him immensely, leaving a strange kind of somnolence behind, which he quickly brushed aside.
Thor began pulling the scepter out incrementally, as instructed. It hummed louder as he did so.
Loki felt himself growing light headed then, but he didn’t let go. He kept feeding her his life force… he was going to persist with it till he was sure of her stability.
“Loki…” Thor murmured beside him, sounding concerned.
He nodded in acknowledgement as his eyelids grew heavy. “Keep at it. I’m fine.”
A few minutes, an hour… he wasn’t sure how long it took, but at long last, he felt the glow of life returning to her. Reva wasn’t going anywhere… he had turned fate around and kept her from her dying. She was restoring herself, fully returned to the land of the living… he could feel it.
It was a moment of joy and he wanted to rejoice. He just… couldn’t keep himself conscious for it.
————————————————–
Loki’s eyes snapped open and he jolted upwards, sweat coating his forehead. His ears were ringing, and his vision was blurry. Stating that he was disoriented was making light of the situation…
He felt constricted somehow, and then noticed a pressure on both his arms.
A few deep breaths later, he calmed himself a bit, enough to notice that the pressure on his arms was from someone holding him.
He blinked, his vision clearing at last, revealing anxious blue eyes and a head full of golden hair.
“Thor?” he blurted, his voice sounding rough even to his own ears.
“Yes, brother, it is I.” His face broke into a small smile, as if he was unsure.
“Reva!” he cried, and tried to be free of Thor’s grip.
“She’s alive,” Thor stated emphatically, but didn’t let go of Loki, “and recovering well. But she’s not conscious right now. Besides, you are in no shape to go see her, brother, not at the moment, at least.”
Loki noted, with no little surprise, that Thor was calling him ‘brother.’ He hadn’t done so during their confrontation at SHIELD.
In fact, Thor hadn’t called Loki a ‘brother’ since his invasion of New York. Admitting it openly would leave him vulnerable, but Loki couldn’t deny that it felt pleasant. It was an acknowledgement from Thor, of a filial bond Loki had previously so readily tried to reject, not because he had hated Thor, but because he wanted to hurt Thor before he could hurt him by his own express rejection.
Mostly, it was because Loki hated himself. He could admit it to himself, at least.
Sagging against Thor’s hold, Loki let go of the mad frenzy to see Reva. Thor wasn’t lying, that much he could tell. Reva was alive, safe and recovering. That information alone was a balm to his distressed mind.
He blinked again and looked around, trying to understand where he was. He was in a large bed, within a room that would be considered very luxurious on Midgard.
“Where am I, Thor?” he asked, eyeing Mjolnir, which sat right against the room’s entrance door.
“My living chambers, within the Stark Tower,” Thor answered, finally letting go of his arms. “Reva is in the healing division, and Stark’s special team is monitoring her.”
Exhaustion still had a hold on Loki, and it rankled him to be so physically compromised. He wanted to be up and about already, but his body clearly was not cooperating.
“You are safe here, brother,” Thor said softly, rubbing a hand up and down his back—a gesture very reminiscent of their mother, whenever she had tried to comfort him.
“They know.” Loki looked at Thor, wondering if the rest of the Avengers were baying for his blood. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle it… he was simply tired of running and hiding and frantically fighting others just to stay alive.
Thor nodded, his hand still rubbing Loki’s back. “They’ll not harm you. For that to happen, they’d need to go through me.”
A tremor passed Loki’s body then, and he couldn’t hide it. Myriad emotions were roiling inside him, and it was all a bit too much for his tired psyche to take.
“You’re still an emotional fool, brother,” he muttered, but then couldn’t say anything more, as another tremor went down his spine, this time bringing tears to his eyes.
“I’d rather be foolish than vengeful, if it means that I get to be with you again.” Thor’s voice sounded shaky too, as he engulfed Loki in his arms again, ruffling his hair affectionately.
“Thank you.” Loki returned Thor’s embrace, though awkwardly, as more tears spilled from his eyes. “For everything.”
Thor nodded, but remained silent, though his form shook in silent sobs too. The brothers had no more words to let out, only tears, and so the room fell completely silent for a few minutes.
“Let go of me, now, you overbearing lout,” Loki said finally, with a chuckle, “I need to breathe.”
Thor gave an answering chuckle and let go of him. His vivid blue eyes were still wet, as were Loki’s.
“Can I ask something of you?” Thor wiped his eyes and looked at Loki with a frown.
Loki chuckled again, but this time, there was hardly any mirth in it. “I’m sure you’re full of questions.”
“No, that we’ll get to… later. I simply want you to let go of something, something I know has deeply hooked itself in your heart.”
Loki stared at him, at a loss as to what he meant. “Go on.”
“Earlier, when we were fighting on that rooftop, you referred to yourself as a monster.”
“Oh…” Loki pried his eyes from Thor, unsure and very discomfited with the direction of their conversation.
“You need to let go of that, Loki. I know that it’s a deeply embedded wound, but know this… you are far from a malicious, evil being. That’s what monsters are. You have a heart, and it beats for those you love and cherish. No monster would put his own life in peril to save someone else. You’ve done that enough times to merit no argument against it.”
Loki couldn’t help but smile at Thor’s newfound way with words, ignoring how they tugged at his heart. “My my, you’ve grown so eloquent Thor, I must send flowers to Jane Foster.”
Thor let out a heavy sigh. “You know this is not a jest, brother. Don’t try to deflect this matter with humour or cynicism, as you usually do.”
Loki didn’t counter him then, quite taken aback by Thor’s steadfast support for him.
“Now, you must tell me what is going on. How did you and Reva even… how did it all happen?”
Loki actually didn’t know how to properly answer Thor, and for a few moments, he fumbled for words.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” he said at long last, his shoulders slumping in resignation. “I came here to retrieve the scepter, and I just… visited to her on a whim. My intentions towards her weren’t really… honourable. I had been through a lot of turmoil, and I simply wanted a distraction.”
“You remembered her from the helicarrier.”
“Yes.”
An awkward silence fell upon them, as Loki searched for further words to explain himself and his actions towards Reva, and he assumed that Thor also didn’t know where to pick up this odd conversation either.
Thor sighed again, and gave Loki a knowing smile. “Regardless of how you two came together, you do love her, and that is what matters the most. I’m happy to see you in a courtship, at long last.”
Loki smiled back, though he didn’t have the heart to tell Thor that Reva may have already changed her mind about him. She may not even want to see him anymore, for that matter, and her decision to do so would be justified.
“I have been wondering, though,” Thor muttered suddenly, pulling Loki from his pitiful musings, “as to why you were pretending to be a Midgardian.”
Loki smiled ruefully. “Being myself would certainly have caused a lot of hue and cry, don’t you think?”
Thor narrowed his eyes, not satisfied with his answer, which really was a rhetorical counter question. “You were pretending to be Luke prior to Reva’s first unfavourable encounter with Ultron.”
“I told you, I was trying to retrieve the scepter,” he said with a shrug. “Though, I underestimated the capability of Stark.”
“Capability for what?”
“Recklessness and stupidity. More the damnation for him, considering he’s actually quite intelligent.”
He had thought that Thor might defend his mortal friend, instead, Thor nodded in agreement, much to Loki’s bafflement.
“Did you just agree with me?”
It was Thor who shrugged now. “I was incensed to learn what he did with the scepter, and how Ultron was created. I may even have… lifted him off the ground by his throat in my rage.”
A very indecorous snort escaped Loki then, as he pictured Thor manhandling Stark. The laughter died soon, though, as he thought back on how the scepter led him to Ultron.
“I don’t even know exactly when it happened, but my attempts to retrieve the scepter slowly became attempts to stop Ultron, seeing how he was poised to weaken the realm with his deranged acts.”
“You want to keep Midgard strong?” Thor asked, eyeing Loki with amazement, much to his vexation.
“All the realms are under threat, Thor. You may not be able to discern them right now, but they’re looming. Presently, Midgard is one of the weakest, considering how Asgard never really shared its wealth of knowledge with it.” He looked at Thor sharply, then continued. “There’s a reason why the Bifrost was used so sparingly in the last few centuries—to keep the realms from interacting with each other. Are you aware that other realms were trying to build their own traveling mechanisms?”
Thor’s brow creased. He was clearly finding all this information a bit too much to take in. “No, I didn’t know.”
Regardless of Thor’s limits to absorb it all, Loki continued. “Asgard tried to prevent it by imposing certain economic and political prohibitions on such realms, thwarting much of their sources of gaining prosperity. Midgard was completely cut-off, since it was deemed to be too primitive to even understand inter-realm travel.”
“We did visit it from time to time when we were younger.”
“Yes, well, the Allfather used it as a tactic to inspire awe and fear in the minds of mortals back then.”
Loki waited after saying that single damning sentence against Odin, to see how Thor would react. He was certain that he’d take offence.
Thor remained stoically quiet.
“Midgard has come a long way now. But still, it’s woefully underprepared for dealing with threats from outside… from worlds beyond the Yggdrasil.”
Thor scratched his beard, then his nose, something he often did when stressed. “Were you trying to demonstrate its underpreparedness with your attack?”
Loki straightened defensively as he saw the accusing look in his brother’s eyes. “In part. I was also trying to keep one of the looming threats away from it.”
“I do not comprehend, brother.”
 “There is much you don’t comprehend, and much that you are unaware of.” Now, Loki couldn’t help but sneer at Thor. “It also depends on your willingness to understand. I had been trying to explain it to you after my capture, and instead of listening, you had put a muzzle on my mouth.”
Loki tried to keep his rising annoyance in check. He and Thor were finally talking, reconciling, and trying to understand each other. Anger would only throttle such progression.
Thor looked down at his hands then, the accusative look gone, giving way to contrition. “I thought you were trying to manipulate me to be free.”
Loki huffed, rolling his eyes. “You should know that had I planned to escape, I’d not have let myself be captured at all. I intended to get myself captured… to buy time. You and your cohorts didn’t win the battle of New York, I intentionally lost.”
Thor’s eyes widened in sheer bafflement, and Loki felt a wee satisfaction for causing it.
“Why?”
Loki smirked spitefully as he thought of the torments he had been made to suffer at the hands of the mad Titan and his minions. “Because sometimes, in order to win a war, you have to lose certain battles.”
—————————————————-
“She’s stable, but her vitals are not really what I’d call normal.”
“I believe Loki would know better about that. Or Thor.”
At the very edge of awareness, Reva could just about discern the voices. She still couldn’t open her eyes, as they felt heavy as lead.
“Yeah, about that. So how about first letting us know, like, what the hell is going on? How is Reindeer Games even alive, and what’s his association with Reva?”
“Tony, I’m sure you’re not dense, stop acting like it.”
“What do you mean, Nat?”
“Loki is Luke.”
“The hell!”
“Quiet, please, you may be disturbing her.”
“No… he’s Luke?”
“Yeah, he is definitely Luke. Why, are you having an existential crisis?”
“He saw me drunk.”
“I’d be more bothered if he saw me naked, honestly.”
“That’s because you can’t get drunk, Cap.”
Someone walked in then, footsteps light but precise. Reva wasn’t familiar with the rhythm, and it made her nervous as her awareness expanded.
“Are you guys just casually going to hold group discussions… while a threat is staying in the tower?”
“Getting babysat by Thor.”
“I wouldn’t call it babysitting, more like Thor protecting him from us. Which I find very weird.”
“Clint… we may need to look at this situation more pragmatically.”
“You’re not serious…”
“He did help dismantle the rogue Iron Legion robots, and from what I observed of it, Ultron’s base in Mexico as well.”
“How do you kn—”
“Guys, I think we need to leave this room. We came here to check on Reva, not squabble among ourselves.”
“Yes, it may cause her stress.”
“Isn’t she an accomplice?”
“I told you, don’t think from just one perspective.”
Reva’s lips trembled. They felt parched, and even wetting them seemed like a humongous task. The tiniest of movements seemed like mountains to climb.
“What of the kids then? They wrecked a lot of havoc.”
“They’re being monitored.”
“I feel like retiring.”
“I feel like getting a drink… or two.”
“Tony…”
“What, you’re gonna send Reindeer Games to talk me out of it?”
“Loki…” Reva murmured at last, her efforts finally paying off.
The room went silent.
“She awake?”
“I guess we need to… I don’t know… bring him here?”
“Reva, can you hear me?”
She nodded. The voice was familiar and seemed friendly.
“You want to see Loki?”
She nodded again. the heaviness beginning to lift from her eyes. Finally.
“Ok. Get Loki.”
“Dude… no.”
“She wants him.”
“Isn’t he passed out too? He was totally out cold when Thor carried him in… and acted pretty much like his guard dog.”
“Out cold… was that a pun?”
“About what?”
“He’s a Frost Giant.”
“Let’s not get distracted here, Nat.”
“Friday, get me Loki’s status.”
“He’s alive.”
“Uhh… I meant, is he awake and fully functioning?”
“He is awake. What function are you referring to? A bodily function? May I ask him?”
“No! That’s good. No need to disturb him. Is Thor there, and awake?”
“Mr.Thor hasn’t slept at all since his arrival.”
“Right. Ok. Thanks.”
There was a pause. She opened her eyes, only to slits, and even in her blurry vision she saw Tony Stark fidgeting near her bed.
“I guess we’re getting Loki,” he said, looking at others, then at Reva. She couldn’t really discern his expression, but it didn’t look pleasant.
Steve Rogers came into her field of vision then, hovering close to her, a tentative smile on his face. “He’ll be here soon.”
“Th-Thank you,” Reva whispered, smiling faintly. “I may need water too. Lots of it.”
 ——————————————————-
Loki lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to rest and gather his energies. Thor had insisted upon the rest, perhaps seeing just how badly he was swaying when he had tried to stand on his own. Thus, despite Loki’s protests, he had all but pushed him back on to the bed.
Presently, the brute was puttering around in the adjoining room. Norns knew what had occupied him…
A few minutes passed, and then Thor appeared through the doorway, carrying big platter and a mug in his hand. Loki sat up in surprise as he handed it all to him.
“You need sustenance. I wasn’t sure what is considered the most nutritious food here, so I gathered all I could and assembled a meal from what I’ve come to learn!” His enthusiastic declaration had Loki rolling his eyes.
“I wasn’t aware you could prepare a meal. And roasting freshly caught game doesn’t really count.”
“Well, brother, I happen to be capable of learning,” Thor said, sitting in front of him on the bed. “You have to eat it all.”
“And just like that you’re back to your overbearing ways.” Loki made a face as he ate the fried eggs, bacon and sausages, more so to irk Thor than because they tasted bad.
Thor laughed and clapped a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Since you’ve been foolish enough to let yourself be this weak, someone has to bother about saving your scrawny self.”
Loki bit into a toast quietly, feeling rather strange to see Thor hovering about in concern and being generally very attentive towards him.
Taking a deep breath, he looked into Thor’s eyes inquisitively. “Thor, are you doing all of this out of a twisted sense of indebtedness?”
Thor, whose face up till now had been bright and cheerful, frowned in response. He looked away then, the pleasant visage falling away completely. “In a way, yes. But it’s not twisted. In your absence, I had come to realize just how important you were to me, and that… I had, in many ways, let you down as a brother. This was especially true for whenever I had deferred to father’s decisions concerning you.”
Loki stared him, speechless.
“I came to realize that father is flawed, both in his actions and his judgment. He was always showering praises upon me, giving me the illusion of accomplishment and never letting me face any failures. It didn’t make me brave, it made me arrogant and foolish.” Thor paused, gazing contemplatively at the floor. “He denied you the same treatment, while bestowing it upon me right in front of you, sowing the seeds of rivalry between us right from our childhood. I cannot imagine how it must have felt… and then, after all these years, to discover that you were adopted from the Jotuns… I do not know how I may have responded to a revelation like that, just that it wouldn’t have been calm. Though, I do not view you any differently, I do understand why you look at yourself differently. Asgard’s inherent hatred for Jotuns is widespread.”
Loki stiffened upon the mention of his true heritage, attempting to mask his sudden distress. “Indeed, they were the monsters that plagued our childhood nightmares.”
“Because we were told that they were monsters. We just didn’t know any better. Our perception of them is coloured by our own bias against them.”
Plucking the vegetables from the platter, Loki couldn’t help but chuckle. He was indeed surprised at Thor’s newfound wisdom. “You’ve become quite liberal and accepting in your thinking.”
Thor finally moved his gaze back to Loki, a smirk gracing his face. “Certain things… certain events in life sometimes cause one’s perception to change. It’s not all me, though. Jane has an assistant… an apprentice of sorts. She is a scholar of political thought, and she and I sometimes engage in some very interesting discussions, mostly about the conflicts and differences between the various peoples of Midgard.”
“You applied Midgardian political discourse to inter realm conflicts. Interesting.” Loki was about to say more, but then the incorporeal voice of Stark’s artificial intelligence spoke up.
“I have been instructed to inform you that Ms.Reva Anderson is awake. She specifically asked to see Mr. Loki.”
Loki nearly dropped the platter in his haste to get off the bed, every particle in him wanting to rush to Reva.
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aniseandspearmint · 6 years
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@princesssarcastia, here are some of the things I’m reading right now! I took a quick look at your listed fandoms and tried to keep it to those, though I added a few really good ones from others.)
WIP I’m currently reading off the top of my head (various fandoms)
Lightsword by Esama (Star Wars/ff7) Cloud reincarnates as Obi-wan Kenobi. Composed of one word prompt sections. Very well done and I really can’t wait to see where the author goes with it. Gen so far (well, hinted Zack/Aerith?)
Survival is a Talent by Shanastoryteller (Harry Potter) Soulmate AU fic. This kind of AU is one I really enjoy when it’s done well (and so long as the fic isn’t one of those colorblind until you meet your soulmate ones those irritate me so much) and this is done well. It’s Harry/Draco, starting in second year. And the best part? There’s no bashing of either Ron or Hermione. I could have cried in relief when they weren’t distorted out of character. They stay Harry’s besties throughout everything. The issues of Harry and Draco realizing they’re soulmates is handled extremely well. Draco doesn’t just change, nor does Harry. They have to work at being friends, and as of the current chapters there’s only friendship. The endgame pairing is Harry/Draco, but Shanastoryteller has clearly remembered that the boys in question are 12/13 and there is no romance yet. Draco’s very real issues with the knowledge that his father is not a good person (for all that he clearly loves Draco) makes my heart ache for him. Draco loves his father, Lucius loves Draco, but Draco is coming to realize that he doesn’t want anyone to die, not even muggles or muggleborns.
Resident Project by Kryal (Resident Evil/Tatterdemalion Verse) The Tatterdemalion Verse is a sci-fi/horror AU of Bleach and Saiyuki created by Vathara, that I cannot rec enough, even to people who aren’t into either Bleach or Saiyuki. In my opinion, they read fairly well even if you don’t know who all the characters are, since it’s such an extreme AU from the original series’, and the Bleach fics are actually set way pre-series and feature few of the main cast (as they have not been born yet). A quick google of the names will get you general appearance, and you can read from there.
Kryal, author of The Dragon King's Temple, THE best Avatar/Stargate crossover, was apparently chatting with Vathara one day about how well the Resident Evil verse would mix with Tatterdemalion, and this fic was born. I may have screamed a little in joy when I saw the notification in my inbox. And I don’t even know more than the bare bones about Resident Evil. Fic is Gen, no pairings, people are too busy trying not to die for romance.
Friends Across Borders Series by MueraRashaye (Heralds of Valdemar) Dunno if you know this book series or not, but I’ll toss this in too. FAB is on it’s 10th story in the series (long series is long btw, currently over 300k) , and is honestly one of the best Valdemar fanfics I have ever read. The characters are OCs, but fully fleshed out and beautifully rendered. I had absolutely no problem getting into them, and had the odd but hilarious experience of idly wondering what Kir and Anur were up to during the canon book series the last time I read it, only to remember mid thought that the were OCs, not Mercedes Lackey’s characters. Ace and Aro characters!
Triumphant, The Dreamer by Shadowblayze (Harry Potter) This is a lovely OC reincarnated as a Harry Potter character fic. The character is Heather, a twin to Harry. EPIC worldbuilding and amazingly well done characters. No character bashing, but also pulls no punches regarding certain stupid moves made by canon characters. Gen so far.
Find Your Way By Moonlight by Blackkat (Naruto, Vampire AU) I usually don’t really go for AUs that take away the whole magic ninja aspect of Naruto, but damn this is a good story. Totally an exception to my usual preferences! 
It focuses on Hunter Kakashi and Vampire Obito, and there are a whole host of twisty vampire and other supernatural creature politics, and currently there are a lot of people enacting epic plans without checking to see if maybe anyone else is currently enacting their own epic plans, and it’s promising to be a glorious train-wreck of tangled up coup/rescue/assassination attempts. Very much not Gen. Main pairing is Kakashi/Obito, with a ton of crack pairings on the side.
Karmic Balance by Sanjuno (khr/Naruto) Epic reincarnation of kakashi and Obito. They think the mafia is adorable, but ultimately dumb as rocks. The mafia does not see them coming. Epic worldbuilding (there is a theme there. I do love my epic worldbuilding *G*) This story is excellently spun, manages to treat the khr world seriously danger wise, but still retain the humor rainbow colored fire mafioso deserve. Kakashi/Obito main pairing (they’re kinda scarily co-dependant) gen for everyone else so far.
Star-Queen by TheBetterAngelsOfOurNature (Guardians of the Galaxy) Pre-movie AU, what if Meredith Quill had been able to chase after Peter? There’s endgame Meredith/Yondu, but it’s very slow burn. I really love how this author is filling in Meredith’s personality, and fleshing out other characters that the movies never did. There are a whole host of transplanted comic characters, and OCs to fill voids, but they’re very well done. Updates are kinda sporadic now, since the author just moved to an area with no internet and only gets to town once or twice a month, but it’s worth the wait.
Damaged Defenders by Sherza (MCU) Incredibly long and plotty re-imagining of how things would have gone if Thor had noticed Loki’s eyes were the wrong color. Features multiple crossovers with other Marvel works. Canon relationships only, and little focus on those. This is primarily a ‘gather the forces in preparation for a major alien invasion’ fic.
Harnessing Starfire by Sherza (Star trek AOS) A fic that actually lets the Enterprise crew be the BAMF individuals they truly are. AU after the first movie. Spock Prime gets his Kirk back! Takes the characters canon backstories into account, so Jim was on Tarsus. Takes a good analytical look at what it really means for Vulcans that Vulcan was destroyed, and what it means for the Klingons to have had most of their fleet gutted by Nero, and what it means for the Romulans to have had a Romulan do all of these things, time traveling nutjpb or not. Pairing is endgame AOS!Spock/AOS!Jim and TOS!Spock/TOS!Jim. The is Spock/Uhura at the beginning, but they amicably end things. No bashing.
Weirdness is Genetic by Sherza (BtVS/Sentinel/Stargate) This is the rarest of rarities, a GEN sentinel fic. Features a sentinel/guide bond between Xander and Clone!Jack that is handled beautifully. Also a sekret!father fic, wherein Jim Ellison is Xander’s biological father. The three fandoms are meshed well, and there’s not bashing of characters. Fic is totally gen apart from some canon barely there pairings.
Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw by GoAwayOlivia (DCU Batman) A lovely fic that features Jason coming back to Gotham after deciding to take a break from the Outlaws. There’s some excellent exploration of family dynamics in the bat clan, and of what being resurrected with the Lazerus Pit’s really does to someones mind. I really love the developing relationship between the now much saner Jason and his adopted siblings in this, plus GoAwayOlivia’s Alfred is fantastic. Jason does therapy through home renovation, it’s great. Genfic. (*blinks* Huh, and apparently this is complete now? I never got that notification!)
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