#which I could go on a whole separate rant about but yea he’s the best

[rv2xlga]

another rant: hey guess who's back!

was and am still going through some hyperfixation moments but persona5 will always stands strong for some reason?? no clue what sorta chokehold that franchise has on me but i homebrewed our old 3ds and now im playing q2 on it (rando side note but i might get my own computer soon!) its all fun and games.... a bit but i was playing through some of it and now i have things to say! more shit to talk, how exciting

i should be doing my homework yes, but i find it interesting the clash of games because each persona game is literally so different and they are all so of the time. persona as a franchise taught me that video games are rly nothing special and the person franchise is like the least of that like all the games are just what everyone else is doing at the time even from the first one ToT but i think the 90s cunt that the personas serve in the first 2games couldve been such a staple for the later games and no, the chokehold of being trendy and relevant and like..."relatable"... very embarrassing so again, its interesting to see those all clash. i love persona 3 a lot because i genuinely believe that out of all the persona games, that one is truly the best. i havent seen the 1st one yet and i will never in my life ever say persona 4 as it is objectively not the best one but i think the 3rd part just has the best ending and the best sense of everything all the games offer and offered afterwards in one and i appreciated it alot for that and it was such a beautiful ending like when i finished it, it was such an experience i truly felt i could move on from how disappointed i honestly was with the fifth part but to further my point, i love the way they summoned personas in the third part even if it was uhm. violent. i think it had a charm and such a sense of uniqueness and it brought up a lot of bigger questions about how we view ourselves, our "personas" and the way they get affected by society which all play into the people we are and become and all that.

i think one reason i rly hate the fourth game is because of just that. the game talks about the person you "truly are" or whatever by literally feeding into societal norms and pushing the made up "laws" that are placed on human emotions that are so vast and complex to even have one think about. its so ridiculous and not that persona3 really does a better job at that either but i think the whole gun thing and the implications/substance that could be dissected within that is again, what gives it its charm. for example, shinjiro and strega's story was there to introduce how difficult it was to control one's persona, that you were practically being held hostage and it almost was like a separate entity within oneself. now, i dont personally like that all that much because again, its still you and the way the game handles it feels very action movie early 00s were the plots always just. divert completely somehow but again, the implications are what save it. i know shinjiro's storyline was nothing of that sort at all but all the scenes with mitsuru and akihiko and even ken bring in such a different perspective. we see this emo loner (lol) who basically does drugs to control all the crap thats going on inside of him and we see the way these two smart kids who've always had it relatively easy in that aspect pressure him and handle what he goes through all in the wrong ways. it feels almost like an allegory for growing up, pretty straightforward but i feel like that sense of realness is what the rest lacked. no more queerbait, no more fan service, yea theres quite a lot of it in persona3 definitely but hey, we all know high school sucks and a lot of it... isnt pretty. the whole idea that you need to find a way to handle the mental and control that "being" inside of you is done soo much better than anything in persona5

i know that technically, the way they handle the personas in persona5 is much better with the whole outfit thing and even with anything and everything, i think the way they handled akechi's personality thing was pretty well considering.. many things ToT but it just feels so too the nose, nothing about it feels special. it doesnt give us suicide allegories (lmao) it doesnt give us any genuine stories. i feel like even though so many of the individual character plotlines are so heavy, like ann's (hello??) and akechi's are so real and terrifying in a way that that happens to so many people constantly, just all of them really and none of them ever really make you feel like something deep for them, yk what i mean? i cried so much for ken and shinjiro, it was soo embarrassing but it made you feel so much for ken, even if that whole situation was very unrealistic, i think the way they handled it in the beginning was wonderful. nobody ever really said anything or suspected much but ken was going through so much all at that time, shinjiro was always there for him but never said anything either and of course, with nothing to stop it, time took its course and things ended the way they did. as tragic as it was, those were the consequences that followed him through the cracks of no confrontation. even to aigis dealing with her robotic brain lol and her lack of emotion, lack of humanity towards the world. such an unrealistic situation but the implications made it what it was, aigis is such a staple for us neurodivergent folks and i know autistic people love her lol. her character meant so much to me because i related so much to her rather than i did with futaba, who is actually a human being

when they unlock their personas, you dont see struggle, you dont see will. its tough, having to accept who you are and continue to brace through it. even being shot a bullet to the head, yukari for example, was still scared to accept herself even if she knew what life had in store for it. she didnt want to relive that trauma with her father and know the truth but she knew that she had to if she wanted to move forward and be the better person. like idk it just means so much more. again, you dont see that same struggle and the costumes dont even reflect who they really are and even if it could, you would never know. mind you i never finished any of the confidants but damn i managed to learn so much of the p3 characters and connect with them only through my first playthrough and that says enough. even doing ryuji's confidant (which i love btw omg) i slowly started to let go of that love for him and his story with the dirt they pay him afterwards its just so lazy. i love that concept from the 3rd game, even the way they handled arcs in p2 was better, i dont like they way they acted about the personas but i feel like that combination into the 3rd part that focused on all aspects was something that DEFINITELY shouldve been kept and NOT turned into whatever persona4 was good lord!

ok so thats all i have to say for today, ill been either knocking out (and severely regretting it in the morning) or drawing for a bit...then knocking out! life is such a mystery sometimes amirite (cries my eyes out) rough week, but q2 has been fun so far much better than starting q1, i am never going to be free from p5r chains! lord have mercy on my soul! heres some pictures i took of the 3ds to accompany this horrifying rant :')

like the whole determined line.. ugh i love it! it really encapsulates what the whole persona thing stands for! like yes! this is about us discovering our true selves! us becoming better people! us embracing who we are through the power of connection to the world around us! like ugh, yes life is beautiful how did you know??? i love it..... persona 3 you will always be famous... and you too femc you deserve better every redditor who calls her a pedo is like. omfg get a hobby (a job and wife too while youre at it) i bet you call naoto a woman you fuckass loser smh

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off

Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes. 

Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa. 

Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above

because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay.  A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.

I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*

*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here. 

Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.” 

Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article. 

By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school. 

Here’s how this shit went down. 

First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love. 

“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!

Her consent!

In ancient Greece!

The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!

Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading. 

Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that. 

Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado.  And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?

NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me. 

Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this. 

There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend. 

Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!

YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.

BUT WAIT.

There’s more.

The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!

For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon. 

Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:

Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general. 

Take that Zeus, for being so gross. 

The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)

Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)

The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.

That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

Mistress of Labyrinths. 

Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!

Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?

And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!

What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.

Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them. 

Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery. 

Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big. 

Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages. 

Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason. 

Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”

You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!

^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^

“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”

Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:

All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.

The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.

Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure. 

A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!

Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?

ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!

Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy! 

I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat.  Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!

Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?

Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical. 

Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot. 

How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km. 

The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.

Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.

Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.

Minoa was fucked. 

The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.

Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.

Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!

Guess who won?

Also Mycenaea!

Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs. 

Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.

“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”

Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed. 

Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi. 

An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one. 

In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories. 

However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in. 

This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.

The Mycenaeans were likely no different. 

Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman. 

Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.

Fuck the Mycenaeans.

* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more. 

 What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus. 

With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy. 

Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it. 

All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more. 

In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out. 

[tigerseye46]

Can I have some peachpig with A39 and B9?

Yes, yes you can! I mentioned this in one prompt fill but I’m releasing the other ones later.

A39. “That’s what you get for being such a dummy.” B9. “Did you do all this… for me?”

When Wukong started to hang around the others (not by choice at first, mind you), he noticed some things. He would be honest and said that he hardly paid attention to his successor’s friends, they were just there but now that they were forced to live within close quarters, it’s natural that he picked up a few things.

He picked up Mei’s love for racing and general competition, and how great she was at games. He noticed Tang’s love for knowledge, how his eyes lit up while explaining any magical object they came across and how it appeared that he knew more than he was aware of. And Sandy, well he didn’t need to go over Sandy or as he should say, Sha Wujing. His little brother revealed his identity to the group after taking Pigsy’s scolding at Wukong to heart. It was a shocking reunion to say the least.

Then there was Pigsy.

Pigsy had a tough exterior but a hidden soft side, he heard stories of him yelling at Tang for being a freeloader but considering the guy was still around his store, Pigsy didn’t have the heart to kick him out. He gave the kid a hard time but he made sure to praise the boy a lot and help him out. He cared in his own special way.

The pig was a real softie and the way he expressed affection was cute.

And it would be cuter if he wasn’t in the current process of being scolded.

The pig scowled at him and wrapped another bandage around his arm. He had gotten hurt in a recent demon attack, forgetting that he was more susceptible to injury since his powers had been weakened. Despite insisting time and time again that he still couldn’t die, Pigsy didn’t exactly care and would scold him for his reckless endeavors.

Although he knew that was how the pig showed he cared, it was still annoying.

He could take care of himself!

The pig punched him in the arm. “That’s what ya get for bein’ such a dummy.” The king merely rolled his eyes in response. “Don’t roll your eyes at me. Immortal monkey or not, I will kick your butt,” he hissed with his hands placed on his hips.

He did another eyeroll and gave him a fond smile. “Uh huh. I would like to see you try.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he warned. “Now, come on.” The pig took his hand, making the king’s cheeks shift to pink then he was led onto the dining area where the chef gestured for him to sit down.

“I’ve already eaten,” he said. He had eaten a bunch of peaches before they were attacked, that was enough, right?

“Uh huh. Peaches don’t count.”

“I would argue that peaches do count.”

“Peaches aren’t a full meal. Now sit down.” He tugged the king down onto the seat, the king complied with a groan.

“Fine… fine.” Wukong didn’t miss the way the pig smiled slightly and patted his face, lingering for a bit and the monkey was tempted to make him stay but he separated and started making noodles.

Silence remained between the two with occasional interruption from the others, Tang had caught a whiff of the noodles and rushed over with Pigsy insisting that it wasn’t for him, dang freeloader.

“But, Pigsy,” Tang had whined.

“No, it’s not for you! It’s for Wukong!”

“Wow, why do you never offer the rest of us our own special bowl of noodles when we’re injured?”

“I do!”

“No, you don’t. Is Wukong more important than the rest of us?” He teased. “I mean I get it, he is the Great Sage but is it also because-?” He didn’t have time to finish that sentence before a spoon was thrown in his direction and Pigsy chased him off with a cackling ringing in the air.

“Like you fight in the first place, dang freeloader! Come back here!”

When Pigsy returned, a grin was still on Wukong’s face, the chef’s brows furrowed. “Shush.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Good.” He finished the noodles minutes after that and placed a bowl on the table.

Wukong took in the smell and began digging in, the warm liquid pouring down his throat. He thought about Tang’s words, was he the only one Pigsy gave noodles exclusively when he was hurt? Or was that Tang just messing with him?

Wukong tapped against the bowl, Pigsy sat beside him. “Eat,” Pigsy commanded.

“I will but am I the only one you give food to when I’m hurt?”

The pig snorted. “Don’t flatter yourself. I give the others food too, obviously, at least with them, I don’t have to loom over while they eat because you don’t know how to take care of yourself, gods know you’ll just dump it somewhere.”

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time,” he argued.

“And how has that worked out? MK told me ya ate your own hair!”

He shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

Pigsy stuck his tongue out in disgust, his eyes drooping slightly. “And this is why you’re havin’ proper meals or else.”

He shook his head in amusement. “Wow, a threat. I feel loved.”

“Ya better.”

Wukong’s heart skipped a beat at the other’s agreement, he pulled the other closer to him. Pigsy leaned his head against his fur. “Tired?”

“Yea. I deal with you all day.”

“Awww. You are so sweet.”

“Shaddup and eat,” he mumbled.

“Fine. Pushy.” The monkey continued eating, feeling comfortable when Pigsy pressed up against his side. He finished his soup, taking a glance at the other whose eyes were shut tight. “Pigsy.” He nudged the pig, only to hear snoring. “Pigsy.” No response.

He sighed and placed an arm under the pig’s legs and a palm on his back. He lifted the pig up, mildly questioning why he fell asleep at random. He was in the hallway, Pigsy in his arms when he saw Xiaotian cross his path. “Hey, bud!”

The kid waved. “Hey, Monkey King. Uh, why are you carrying Pigsy?”

“He fell asleep while we were talking.”

“Oh, that makes sense. I overheard him ranting to Sandy about being exhausted while taking care of everyone. Well...”

“Well?”

“Well more like it was about you.”

Wukong winced, jeez, he knew he wasn’t the easiest to deal with but he didn’t know Pigsy was running himself ragged trying to take care of him. How did he not notice? A guilty feeling formed in the pit of his stomach. Maybe he should do something to repay his kindness.

“Monkey King?”

“Hm?”

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for telling me that, bud. I’ll just place Pigsy in his room now.”

“Okay!”

The king continued walking and entered the pig’s bedroom, the other muttered something incoherent in his sleep as he was gently lowered onto the bed. Wukong pressed a kiss to his forehead then placed the covers over him and left the room.

He sat on the living room couch, questioning what he should do to pay Pigsy back. What does Pigsy need help with? The pig was always cooking for them and Wukong knew how to make a decent meal, contrary to the pig’s belief.

So he got up and decided to do so.

He knew where Pigsy kept everything and he began cooking the best he could, the others came into the kitchen to ask what he was doing and he answered, offering to put aside some leftovers for when he was done.

He hummed to himself as he placed the food on the table and observed the kitchen, he had cleaned the whole thing from top to bottom. That had taken a few hours.

His ears perked up as footsteps approached. Pigsy rubbed his eyes as he came into the kitchen. “Stupid, charmin’ monkey doesn’t know how to take care of himself, makin’ me tired,” he muttered to himself and glanced up to see Wukong standing there, his eyes widened. “Wukong!”

He smiled. “Hey, sleepyhead. Have a good nap?”

“Yea, it was fine. What are ya doin’ here? Finally eatin’ somethin’ that’s not your hair?”

Wukong barked out a laugh. “Nope. Actually I made something for you.”

The pig lifted his brow. “Oh?”

“Yep. I… heard from the kid that you’ve been exhausted trying to take care of everyone, well mostly me so I decided to do something nice. I cooked you something.”

“You- you did?” He caught a glimpse of the dumplings, rolls and a bowl of noodles spread out on the table. He then looked around the kitchen. “You cleaned the kitchen?”

“Yea, I did.”

“Did you do all of this… for me?” He asked, sounding extremely touched at the act.

“I just said I did, didn’t I?”

“Wukong… you didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to. After all, you’re the one who’s always doing stuff for others.”

He pecked the king’s cheek which resulted in a small blush appearing. “Thank you.” He sat down at the table and bit into a roll. “It’s not a five course meal,” he was interrupted by Wukong’s snort, “but I like it. Thank you.”

He sat down next to him. “You’re welcome. I’ll try to do this more often.”

“I would like that.” He smooched his cheek again. “Makes takin’ care of you worth it.”

Wukong laughed. “Good to know,” he replied, then leaned into Pigsy and enjoyed the moment.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Was reading your response to the Okumura Ryuji/Morgana fight, and the way the person worded Ryuji's character made me wanna ask... Do you think a bad fanbase is a fair reason to dislike a character? I've heard people say things like "no look at the character too", but... For example, I'm very neutral on Ryuji. When he's good, hes SO GOOD, EXCELLENT BOY, but Ann is my favorite girl. Guess who he pervs on exclusively and is rude to all the time? I've never seen his fans talk about (1/2 sorry)

His rude behavior, or his pervy tendencies, or his more selfish desires regarding the PT. That's fine!! Not everyone wants to constantly talk about bad things their fave has done!!! But people referring to him as a "woman respecting king" so insistently rubs me the wrong way, since he treats Ann Like That. That, and (more personal) i remember making a post/ask thing once about my grievances with Ryuji, esp his perv stuff, and the fans that interacted very aggressively denied his behavior (2/3)

And it even turned into a big discourse on the blog I submitted it to (it was that one confession blog). All the people that responded and just tried moving the arguments to "well Yusuke did this-" or even tried to push blame on Ann "she was asking for it" just kinda cemented my already growing dislike for Ryuji. Super sorry this is so long!!! Final question: is a bad fanbase a fair reason for disliking a character? (3/3)

Don’t say sorry about multiple sent asks, I don’t mind kfdsjla;fja As for the answer, I want to say yes and no, but really it’s just “yes with a side note attached.” Yeah, it’s ok to not like a char because of their fans, but I think it’s as long as you know why you dislike the char beyond the fans (well tbh, imo it’s usually the crazy fans so I think stans is a better word, but even then there’s diff stans). And tbh, I....can’t....think of a character I don’t like that the fandom/fanbase does....but I know nothing about the char all the while (closest and most recent example this....is....I know people dislike that grey haired moe blob on twitter even tho I don’t think they watched the show, and while I’m not a fan of the moeblobness I don’t know anything about the char so I’m personally not upset). I can only name chars I don’t like because of what happens in the text, fandom be damned (but sometimes they don’t help). Which is why it’s a yes with a side note. If you don’t like the char despite not knowing them.....probably get to know the char first even if your impression is clouded by the fandom....at least you gave the char a chance. 

Under cut cause length (first few sentences in the first paragraph under the cut/tldr at the end gives you the answer a bit more in depth, the rest is rants related to that and why I get frustrated in a similar sense too, but yeah sorry if I repeat myself, I kinda jumped all over + my tendency to try to nail a point home I feel like might’ve had me repeat a bit more than usual akslfjdakfjaf):

I say this because.....it’s hard....it’s hard to keep them separated, unless you completely isolate yourself from the fandom (which is basically impossible if you wanna keep up with news, even the comment section is part of the fandom tbh...and you might be looking down their for diff reasons). And then.....well...the big reason....sometimes seeing the fans really highlights the reasons you dislike the char. That’s what happened to me and Makoto, specifically cause of....a certain fan (and buddy if you happen to see this, nothing against you, no bad blood, def won’t mention your name I respect you and the debates we had)....AND TO THE TUMBLR READERS WHO GET NERVOUS: It wasn’t on this website in case anyone is freaking out so if you’re thinking “Oh god it’s me” it is most likely not you (tho I think we do know each other on here cause of usernames/saw each other in passing but we def aren’t mutuals last time I checked), and while I do respect that person.......my god did they highlight the reasons I had issues with P5 and Makoto. Ironically in trying to defend her and show off her good sides, I realized the writing issues more and more and her bad sides became more glaring. It turned my frustrating dislike and attempt to try to work out my issues with her and P5 (ironically “working out” in hindsight would’ve been me....denying and refusing to look at P5′s flaws) into....well......the salt factory you know today. (same thing happens with like......Yukari and Junpei fans too tbh...that’s more recent tho, it feels like they are just downplaying their negatives constantly and I’m not about that). Basically, you probably have issues already, they are just more pronounced now. 

As for “look at the character”....you kinda already are doing that, and that’s probably where your existing issues originated from (tho if someone wants a more in depth reason as to why, while you DON’T OWE them an explanation, it is also hard for someone to understand your feelings and reasons if you don’t try to explain). 

As for Ryu, yea, I getcha, I like the guy, I’m neutral positive on him....was my best bro but he’s 2nd best thanks to post-Kamo writing. I like him because of his positives, but I always keep his negs in mind because. Cause like while I agree with the fans IT MAKES NO SENSE! P5′S WRITING IS BAD! it happened, same as I agree that Anne kicking Ryu’s ass, along with the other girls, is shitty. Hate the scene, and I accept that it happen (low key gonna start some kinda 2nd wave war with this bs cause the fandom be like that, but I’m really surprised no one took Anne smacking Ryu behind the neck cause he was being too loud as super offensive and abuse.......it’s def something a friend might do, not like belting him just a tap, and it’s framed as chill and also as warning him to reign in the volume control, but high key surprised no one has tried to cancel her cause of that). BUT that DOESN’T mean it erases all the creepy stuff he’s done. Is he the goodest boi when he’s being good? The best. Is he always a good boi? No, he def is not. And hearing that he is can be frustrating to people that do see his flaws (cause they are there). And like....you are 100% able to like a character despite and because of their flaws, while also accepting they have those flaws. I do it with Yosuke, Ryuji (for the most part), Teddie, Shinji, Ken, Kanji (when he’s not around Naoto, then he’s in a trash can for me), P1/2 casts, Aigis, Mitsuru, as long as the flaws are within reason and are treated pretty well....then I’m ok with it. (again, Kanji/Ryu have moments when I’m like....NOPE! but when they aren’t doing the bad thing I’m cool with them). As long as the flaws are withing reason (aka they aren’t making a jerk person out to be the person in the right, or the writing is trying to sweep what they did under the rug, or trying to force us into empathizing with them despite what they did while also trying ot sacrifice empathy towards another char.....*cough*Makoto/Yukari/Junpei*cough* if the writing isn’t doing that...... I’m probs neutral to pos on them). 

Like I’m fine if they are criticizing the writing and being like “Him doing this makes no sense cause it conflicts with the good boi we’ve already seen!” That’s a-ok! Not only do you recognize your char has flaws, you also are able to identify issues with the writing. But saying “so I’ll choose to ignore that scene” isn’t....ok. Because sadly it did happen, as contradictory it did happen. AU it all you want, but you have to accept it happened outside of that AU. Like, I don’t like the Mika conflict in Anne’s CoOp, by which I don’t like how it went down (100% fine with Mika, and there being conflict with her). How it the whole thing started doesn’t make sense if you put MainStory!Anne in her CoOp. MS!Anne can read the room and other people’s emotions (only other person capable of that is Haru, or at least with Mona), hell she was so good at it she noticed something was up with Shiho without Shiho telling her about it! The issue was the fact Anne’s not a mind reader and could only assume the issue Shiho was going through that Anne was aware of (and that was her spot on the team). Now MS!Anne is not like Yosuke, she doesn’t put her foot in her mouth. She’s not like Naoto who can’t read the room. She’s not super eloquent, but can empathize and when she can interact with people she can do it pretty well. So why the hell does she basically not think before talking and insult Mika? Sure Anne’s not GREAT at school, but she’s not a moron, she can talk to people. But her CoOp makes her a moron all around, 100% airhead, and that’s how her issues with Mika start, by not thinking before talking and accidentally insulting her via blatantly “not caring” about the job to a full time person......it’s stupid, it makes no sense, I hate it. But it’s there, the flaw might not be present in the main story, but for the all around character (cause CoOps are included) it is now and I just have to deal with it. We can bitch about it all day (and trust me I will) but it happened. Basically never frame it as “it didn’t happen,” but instead “It SHOULDN’T HAVE happened.” One is denial, the other is critiquing the text. 

Anyway my rant aside, yeah I hate it when...well Ren/Ryu/Yusuke (no one’s said Mona yet, cause....well yeah...which is good they haven’t labeled him as it yet tho), are labeled as “drinking respect women juice” and I’m like “I have one to a few women who would disagree.” I know some people will argue Goro is drinking it, and imo he’s not....he’s just eating the “I don’t discriminate sandwich” which is different. And yeah the “But Yusuke-” yeah yeah we’ll get to him, but right now we’re talking about RYUJI. I’m not a fan of derailing a topic *war flashbacks* *shivers* anyway. But yeah I remember that debate, I was probably one who was like “We’ll get to Yusuke but right now we’re talking about Ryuji” and pushing the blame onto Anne is disgusting and Kamo Arc!Ryuji would be very upset. >:( (btw high key I think I was the first one who started the first anti-makoto war wave with me saying “yeah Anne shouldn’t have apologized Makoto started it and blah blah she was an ass” not the exact words but basically just calling her out on her shitty behavior cause the game certainly didn’t......tho as Miley Cyrus would say.....”I didn’t mean to start a waaaaaar~!” I actually wrote my first Persona Problems on that topic.......but it got lost in the drafts....my photo examples kept getting messed up which is bad considering the whole post really relied on them....I should try to dig it up tbh....)

Tldr/short answer: Yeah, you probably already have issues with the char to begin with tbh, and the fanbase can highlight those issues more. It’s also hard to escape the fanbase (I see stuff I don’t wanna see despite trying my hardest to avoid certain circles, it just happens).

[theinfiniterick]

Yea no. Fuck off.

There has been a LOT of justification posts for pedo/incest shipping in my feed lately and I finally have to say something. Please read to the end.

Firstly none of these elaborate posts that go to incredible lengths to justify pedophilic relationships in “shipping” form or story form or art form EVER seem to mention the damn law. It IS against the law in the United States to depict such relationships whether photographed OR drawn OR digitally manipulated.

Federal law defines child pornography as “any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer-generated image or picture … of sexually explicit conduct, where the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”  

And yes, you CAN also be charged for WRITING fictional stories involving children in an explicit matter just as Frank Russel McCoy was charged in 2015 with Transportation of Obscene Matters in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1462. He ran a website dedicated to fictional child sex stories that he himself apparently published.

https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/appellate-courts/ca11/13-14350/13-14350-2015-03-12.html

Secondly, no one is talking about how downright selfish it is to post this kind of content on Tumblr and in public spaces.

All of these pro-shipping posts try to take a righteous stand by explaining how fiction is separate from reality and how it doesn’t hurt anyone. NEWS FLASH: YOU’RE POSTING IT ON A PUBLIC SITE WHERE PEOPLE *VERY* OFTEN SCROLL UPON IT BECAUSE TUMBLR’S ALGORITHMS PLACE IT IN OUR FEED THANKS TO THE FANDOM ASSOCIATIONS.

And look. When I was 13, best bet I had my own fantasies about older men. There were fictional movie characters I lusted over. There were fictional cartoon characters I lusted over. And I had written my first fanfic at the age of 13 within an anime universe where I made up a fictional pupil that fell in love with her alien martial arts teacher (a full grown man).

But I wrote it for -myself-. On pieces of folder paper. And I had never posted it online. And today I still wouldn’t publish it online in any fandom community I’m in because I understand how it hurts and triggers people and I have enough of a sense of personal responsibility that I’m not going to post it anywhere where someone could come across it and be triggered because I fucking CARE. (–Aside from the fact that now that I’ve far surpassed that age, I now think my own fanfic from back then is gross).

But -thats- the bottom line most of these posts seem to ignore: caring enough about the fucking rest of the world to keep that shit to yourself.

I’m not even going to argue the whole fiction versus reality standpoint. Go ahead and have at that one. Go ahead and keep ranting about how much a fictional ship isn’t real life pedophilia and it doesn’t make these authors bad people because they would never partake in real life.

What you’re NOT gonna do is try to argue how other people SHOULDN’T be hurt or offended by something that’s fictional. You don’t get to fucking determine what triggers someone, asshole. If it triggers them, it triggers them. And all these posts going around about “how not to be triggered by fiction” is honestly fucking sickening and shows a SELFISH disregard for anyone but yourself.

You’re literally out there saying “MY RIGHT TO SHIP IS MORE DAMN IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE’S FEELINGS OR TRIGGERS.”

Wow. What a stand up fucking person you are.

Ship it in your own head. Ship it in your private groups. Go make your Discords to share your content with each other. But don’t pretend for a fucking second that posting these contents on Tumblr (which is actually against their rules btw) isn’t hurting anyone. It DOES come up in feeds of anyone who follows the fandom. It DOES come up in reblogs of people that we chose to follow not knowing that person took part in that ship.

And since you have to write such elaborate posts defending your ship, that tells all of us that these ships DO get massive amounts of hate and triggers because they DO get massive exposure on this site, and you DO know about that. So there’s no damn two ways about it. You know good and well how many people it offends and triggers and yet you do it anyway. Because your right to post that fantasy is more important than anyone else’s feelings.

And here you are trying to argue that these ships don’t make you bad people... ^

No one can make you change that ship in your mind. No one can stop you from wanting to create arts and fictions of it. I’m not gonna argue with you about the separation of reality from fiction, but I will say that before you defend yourself for not being a bad person, take a good hard look:

You act as if you’re above the law.

You disregard tumblr’s own guidelines.

You don’t give a shit for how your content triggers others on a PUBLIC website and place your right to ship above everyone else’s mental well-being.

And by transitive morality, you’re actually *willingly* choosing to hurt others because you know it will and yet you do it anyway.

Transitive morality is a greater sense of good that the most selfless of people understand. An example you might be familiar with is when MCU Spider-Man tells Tony: “When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.” Peter understands that when he can do something to prevent harm and he doesn’t, it’s pretty much like he caused the harm himself.

And yea, not everyone operates by such morality. A lot of people take disgustingly very little personal responsibility in the prevention of harm to others. But that’s why I’m pointing this out to you. So you can learn to be better than that.

You can continue on being selfish because your ship is more important than anyone’s triggers and keep justifying ways it doesn’t make you a bad person.

Or you can look at that list and realize: you know what… that is pretty shitty of me. Be a better fucking person and learn that while it might be harmless to have certain desires in your own head, while you might not be an actual pedophile, while you might not condone real rape and incest, placing your fantasies where you *know* people will be triggered still makes you a pretty damn shitty person.

[nessaiscute]

Forgiveness I don't deserve

I’m a monster.

That's not being edgy, that's just what I am; a selfish Fey who has killed so many innocent people. Not just Mab’s enemies, but the hearts I’ve broken falling for me. Thinking I can make them happy, thinking I can be the one. Duty cuts them all down, my soulless decisions erasing them from existence to where no one remembers them. I’ve killed enough people to fill the whole nevernever full of innocent beings and that wouldn't even cover a tenth of my body count. Even if you don’t count the ones that Rowen influenced me to do, there is way too much blood on my hands to even think what i deserve to be loved.

And yet…. That's what I’ve received: love. Love and affection.

While my dreams haunt me, my wife and son are planning a picnic. Meghan was very very persistent that she was going to get this date. No one bothers arguing with her, she's very stubborn. If she wasn’t she wouldn't of stuck by me all through the years, it was a hard road for her to get here but she got here, and she does a damn good job of running her kingdom.

I walk into the throne room to see Glitch and Meghan talking. Wonder if it’ll turn into another yelling match.

“And that’ll be all the duties for today.” Meghan stats.

“What shall I tell the winter knights when they get here?”

Meghan placed her finger on her chin and thought, “I guess ‘piss on yourself’ isn’t good enough? Hmmm, tell them that the queen is on a royal affair. That's all.”

“Mab will be very-”

“That’ll be all Glitch.” Meghan stated.

Glitch then bowed and left, that's when Meghan saw me.

She then ran up to me, cupped my face and pulled me into a kiss. I kissed back out of instinct, I’ll never understand her, from the moment I met her she's was very keen towards me. No matter what I did she wouldn't leave me alone, it was quite annoying at first. This little weak human girl following me around, expecting me to act soft with her in front of fey who would love to see her head on a spike. Even when I treated her as harsh as i could she never left me alone. She literally betrayed her own father and best friend to be with me.

And they aren’t enough riches in this world to make me give her up.

She pulled away a little and smiled at me, “I missed you.”

“I can tell.”I chuckled, “When are we heading out?”

Meghan grinned at me, ‘As soon as the little one is ready.’

“Ugh, its 9 in the morning mom.” Groaned an a little voice and from behind the throne came my pride and joy, Kerrian, he might be a cocky little turd but he still loves me and his mother. Also he’s a nice distraction every now and then. Although he does seem to make a lot of the older fey want to ‘throw hands’ as he would call it.

“I see you’ve been up Kerrian.” Meghan commented.

“I was waiting to see if you and father were going to be all lovey dovey. Like you always do.”

“Oh, and what about all those presents you give those female friends of yous? You don’t fancy any of them?”

Kerrian’s face went three shades red, “T-Those are just presents!”

Meghan and me both bursted into laughter, allowing Kerrian’s embarrassment to soak up. He finally puffed and went on ahead.

“Let me go get dressed. Make sure no one hits him or anything.” Meghan nudged me and i went to find him.

Meghan came out ten minutes later with a green sundress and a sunflower hat on her head, red tennis shoes. She was carrying all the food she had made herself in a little wooden basket. She’s really gone all out on this picnic thing.

‘Mom, you’re so lame.” Kerrian stated.

“I think you like your lame mother. Or maybe we could have you met your grandma, on my side.”

‘I-I’ll pass. Besides i do like my lame mother.”

Meghan then kissed Kerrian’s forehead which made him blush, he's just as weak as i am when it comes to her.”

Meghan then took her free arm and wrapped it around mine, “ Shall we my love?”

I grinned, “Of course.”

I was quite puzzled why we didn’t take the carriage, and i was even more puzzled how she moved a darn trod and got it to take us to the human world. The moment Kerrian saw it, his eyes lit up and he got excited.

“Whoa! This is…. Look at all this stuff! Grass that isn’t metal! This is so cool!”

Meghan chuckled, “Wait till you see where we’re heading.”

Dragging me and Kerrian along, we walked for a bit. Meghan’s scent filled my nostrils. That sweet smell of pumpkins, I find myself staring at her. How? How did I manage to do it? How did I get such a faithful and loving women to fall for me? It's hard to face the fact I nearly threw her away, that I even thought for a second that Puck should have her instead of me. That sounds selfish, I don’t have the right to care about what i want. It should be all about her, she's the one that saved the nevernever 3 times. She's the one that took out two iron kings to protect millions of people. She's the one that protects the iron kingdom from two courts who would love to murder everyone in our kingdom. And she does it with a smile and a little spring in her step. I’ve never seen a person so tough, so honest. Its what pulled me to her in the first place. Not even Ariella could compete with how tough she is. I love her more than I love he air i breathe, and that's why I want her to be mine. I want to love her forever, for all time. I want her to be with me till the end of days. But… its so selfish! All the crimes I’ve committed, I should be grateful she even bothers with me. I should be satisfied with that, but i'm not. I want it all, I want all of her. The idea of being with her for all time, makes my soul sing to the high heavens. I don’t know if i deserve that.

“Enjoying my beautiful face?” Meghan asked as she caught me staring at her.

My heart skipped a beat as I realize she notices, “Y-Yea.”

“Father you’re awfully quiet, are you okay?” Kerrian asked.

“Of course i am.” I stated, “Can’t a man be a little timid?”

“Leave your father alone Kerrian.” Meghan scolded.

“Yes mam.”

We walked a bit more, we finally got to a little hill. The sun was shining on the land, Kerrian instantly got excited. He’s never had such a huge spot of land to play on.

“Not so fast.” Meghan stated as Kerrian tried to run off, “Your mother needs help unpacking all the food. Then you can go play.”

I decided to let them have alone time, Meghan is always talking about how she wants to spend more time with him. Meghan loves with all of her heart, Kerrian looks at her the same way i do. She's our whole world. There isn’t a thing we wouldn't do for her.

Meghan set up, she placed a sheet on the ground and set the food on it. She packed a lot of food. Sandwiches with spiced meats, fresh fruits and tasty juices. Kerrian loves Orange juice, so of course meghan brought a lot of that. I’m more of a grape juice man myself, Meghan brought that too.

“Kerrian, You can go play. I need a word with your father.”

Kerrian kissed Meghan’s cheek and ran off. When he was out of ear shot meghan grasped my chin and tilted my face to look her in the eyes.

“Whats wrong?”

“ I said-”

“And I know you’re full of shit. I know my husband, I know when he’s hurting, when he needs his queen. Your glamor hasn’t been this low since we got married. So, My husband I’ll ask again: What's wrong?”

There was no hiding from her, she read me like a book; I don’t want to hide from her. I want to be open but I seem so selfish when I think about wanting to be with her forever.

“I feel selfish.”

“How so?”

“I’ve been thinking bout what happens next. We’re married but there is still our eternal life together, I love you Meghan, I love you more than I ever loved myself. I’m a murder, I’ve killed enough people to fill a city. I can't ever bring them back, they’ll haunt me for the rest of my days. But this…. What i have with you, I don’t want to lose that. I want to be with you forever and ever. I want to be together till the nevernever ends and we die in a flash of light takes us and even then I want my spirit to wander with yours forever. You’ll always be the one I love Meghan. I feel like I have no right to want this. But… it's what I want.”

When i finished my long and sappy rant Meghan sighed, “Men.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked in a tone that gave away i was offended.

Meghan then wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, her lipstick and all. The softness of her mouth, she's perfect. I love her, gods I love her so much.

“Its not selfish to want happiness Ash. Besides, I want the same thing. There isn’t a man alive that can even come close to you, you’re the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and our little boy are the most important things in my life. I would do anything to protect you Ash, I love you Ash. I think it's time you forgive yourself for what you’ve done. You make me the happiest woman in the world. I have no regrets, not a damn one. I swear to you that your desire will happen. We’ll be together forever.”

I felt joy rise in my soul to the point where the only way i could show her was to kiss her, i cupped her face and kissed her soft lips. She’s my queen, my wife. There is not a thing that can separate us.

“Mother!” Kerrian called out thankfully after our little moment, “Are you and father done? I’m hungry. Mother!”

“Get over here! You’re father feels better! I have the best sandwiches ready for the most perfect little warrior.”

Kerrian rushed over and sat down on the sheet, ready for his food. I was very hungry myself.

“Is father feeling better?”

Meghan giggled, “Yes he is.”

There was a small blush on his face, “D-Don’t take it the wrong way, i wasn’t worried or anything, if anything would happen to the ice knight the whole kingdom would be sad. That would damper things.”

I wrapped my arms around the little turd and kissed his cheek, “Well the ‘ice knight’ is fine, You should worry on your own training. I hear from Glitch you’re much more interested in girls then your blade.”

“T-Thats not true! I’ll show you one day! One day I’m going to be the best!”

I ruffled up his hair and smiled at him, “I’m sure you will. I love you Kerrian.”

“I… love you too father. Now can we eat please?’

Meghan allowed us to eat, we had a blast. My sadness left me for the rest of the day. I might not deserve forgiveness, but that doesn't matter it's what i got, and I’m not going to throw it away. These two, this foolish human girl and this little iron fey welp. They are my life. And i will never lose them.

[romanticgambles]

Too Drunk For This! | Nasu no Yoichi X Fem!Reader

whoever calls him a trap is an incel

-

While the dwarves around them would gulp down plates of food in just a matter of seconds, Yoichi was gulping down on way too much booze for his own good. A few cups in and he was already stumbling around, with a flushed face and almost being unable to form a coherent sentence. While you were desperately trying your best so keep him check with the alcohol, he still drank more than he should've, and so this was the chaotic result "H...Hey, (Y/N)! I haven't seen you... Try out some of this! Why don't you..." a *hic* sound errupted from his throat "Drink just a little...!" The archer said in his drunken state, his face inching way too closer to your's, to the point you could feel his hot breath, and smell the alcohol leeking through it "Yoichi... I told you, you can't keep drinking so much of this stuff! And neither can I, aren't we too young for this?" You tried to be reasonable in this situation, but with some sort of intoxicated samurai, could that really be possible? "Too young my ass! C'mon (Nicknameeeee)! C'mon, I'll give you a reward! C'mon, c'mon!" You could only stare at the boy blankly, imagining what he meant by that. Obviously, you felt curious to what he meant by 'reward', but moreso, you also wanted to get what was so great about that sake or whatever he was so hung up about. "E-Ehm... Fine, I'll have just one drink! But promise me you won't get that much drunker!" "Ahah! Yea yea, whatever, here!" He very clumsily served you some on a cup, emphasis on clumsily since more of it got spilled into the floor than where it was supposed to go, which luckily you helped him a little with balancing it out. When it was decently enough filled, you put the bottle away and took your cup nervously. This was the first time you actually tried alcohol, coming from someone who got chosen as a 'Drifter'- it was almost unexpected. (Y/N) pressed it close to her lips, and gulped down just a little, to test the waters so to say. It didn't taste wonderful by any means, but the way it went down your throat and made yout chest feel... You seemed to like that. So you drank more, and more, until the cup was empty yet again. Putting the object away from your face, you made an 'Ahhh!' sound out loud, which the archer took as a sign of satisfaction "See! Issh' good! Little (Nickname) finally grows up!" "Hey...! W-We're like the same age!" "Who cares! Let's get some more, little (Nickname)!"

And that's how shit hit the fan.

A few drinks afterwards you were already in the same state as Yoichi, your face flushed brightly as you were laying on the ground, a bit of drool coming out of your mouth as you tried to get a grasp on reality, while your friend kept bothering one of the older dwarves "So... Hey, listen to me! You know that guy Yoshitsune? He's a horrible person. Are ya listening old man?" "I am... I am listening." The man replied, sweating out of the awkwardness of the situation.

(Y/N) suddenly felt someone fall beside her, being none other than her fellow drunk buddy. The left sleeve of his shirt was sliding off his shoulders, that somewhat exposed some of his surprisingly toned chest- You couldn't help but stare a little. It would be a lie to say the boy hadn't caught your eye, as weird as it felt to have a bit of a crush on a japanese historical figure thought to be dead. Though through your way too in-depth internal monolgue, you didn't notice the rant he was going on about right beside you "So here's the thing... Suddenly, he was like, 'Shoot the fan!' That didn't make any sense!" He leaned in and rested his head on your shoulder, though you were too drunk to even feel embarrassed "No way in hell I could hit the target. Did he really think I could shoot a sailor?! He's got to be out of his mind." Yoichi gulped down more of the alcohol, a lot of it falling from the corner of his lips rather than into his mouth.

"I can't take that crap anymore... Hey (Nickname)!" The boy suddenly called out to you, which you noticed, but didn't bother to turn to look at him "What is itttt?" You replied in a bit of a daze "We should just like... Get married, ya know? We could have a bunch of kids and make that as an excuse to retire and go fishing until we die... How's that?" His face was suddenly in front of your's, while his hands came from below (one dropping the booze) and started squishing and playing with your cheeks gently "Your face is so cute, (Nicknameeee)! I bet you could make even my brothers jealous." Despite bring drunk, you still let out a squeak when he brought his hands near you, and while you couldn't really tell the difference visually, she could feel her body feel a little warmer after he said those words, even her ears. (Y/N) suddenly grabbed his right wrist, her grip not being as strong as she could make it be, and unexpectedly took his hand and wrapped her fingers around his'. To the archer, this was apparently surprising, so he gasped quietly at such bold move. The female in front of him brought her other hand to her chest, on top of where her heart was under all that skin and bone "Y-Yoichi... Was that a declaration... Of some sort of undying love for me?!" She burst out more dramatically than she should've. Those (E/C) eyes basically twinkling as she stared into his blue ones. If you didn't get the picture by now, yes, she was very drunk. Mostly because this is something she'd never do while sober.

Nasu stared back with bewilderment, was he truly confessing his deep feelings of affection to his future wife to-be fisher?! Was this the start of their tale of love?! He could already picture it... small, beautiful looking children, running around their traditional japanese house, all bringing home the fish they somehow caught by throwing random hard objects at the poor innocent animals. The pride of a father... A whole future ahead of him! "M-My (Y/N)... Yes, of course! My fish pond wouldn't be a fish pond without the scales of your love! We'll catch a whale on our anniversary, I swear ittt!" He exclaimed loudly, before losing his already poor balance and falling on top of (Y/N)'s chest, enjoying the soft surface way too much and snuggling his face closer to her bust. His hand separated from her's and wrapped his arms around (Y/N)'s waist, meanwhile the boy continued purposefully suffocating himself with her chest. You could somewhat hear him quietly chanting 'Oppai, oppai!' as he was at it. The reaction you had wasn't any better, in fact, you started to dramatically sob, stroking the top of his head and feeling his soft hair brushing against your fingers "I...I love you, my husband!"

Meanwhile, Nobunaga, who was watching from the sidelines, gagged in disgust "That's... some nasty booze. God, I'm not letting these brats anywhere near alcohol again! Yoichi! Put your clothes back on, you're gonna give people the wrong idea. And (Y/N), if you're gonna let him near your breasts, at least let me get a grope too!"

That last part earned him a harsh slap on the face later.

[overthinkingkdrama]

I'm the kind of person who doesn't write a thing about what I'm watching, but, I have to say I love Money Flower, and I love every post you make about it. You're not alone (?) ;) As a spoiler but something I have to say, I'm dying with Boo Cheon going badly, and it hurts that what finally crack him was Pil Joo's betrayal. Jang Hyuk's final face was too much :v

Thanks for dropping by to throw some gasoline onto the fires of my own personal hell, anon. I think I spent 3 hours ranting to my BFF about this exact subject yesterday. I was trying to organize my thoughts to write a post about it but I couldn’t. I feel ya. Oh yea, you and I are in the same boat.

In all seriousness, I love it when I get anonymous message that give me an excuse to write about something I was already privately ranty about. So thank you, lol.

[Fair warning…I went HAM on my reply. Sorry?? Huge spoilers for the show past this point, y’all.]

It was hard watching my three crazy kids fall apart this week. Especially Boo. The turn his character took this week broke my damn heart. Full disclosure: Boo Cheon is my favorite character in this garbage fire of a show. Has been for weeks now. I feel like I’m pretty much alone in that opinion. My mind twin, agaggleoffandoms (for whatever reason tumblr is refusing to let me @ her) and I are on the same page, but for the most part people seem to really hate Boo. I don’t get it. I can’t wrap my head around how you could love and root for Pil Joo in this whole thing, and yet have no sympathy for Boo Cheon whatsoever. Like, I get it, but I really don’t get it.

Okay, so, I think Kang Pil Joo is actually Satan himself and this is why…

First, let me disclaim and say that I like Pil Joo as a character. I like him a lot. I like the way Jang Hyuk is playing him. I like his scenes. I like him because he’s twisted and terrifying. I like what a manipulative monster he is. I went into the drama expecting it and I was not disappointed at all. He’s every bit the sociopathic puppet master the poster promised me. I watch this show because it’s a crazy-sauce makjang mess. I enjoy the characters because of how insurmountably dysfunctional they are.

Additionally, this isn’t supposed to be a post to justify Boo’s actions, or claims that he’s done nothing wrong. Clearly that’s not the case. I’m just trying to understand the audience’s reaction to him. Why I find myself rooting for him so much, and other people have no time for him at all.

The first thing Boo Cheon does at the beginning of episode 17 is threaten the mother of his child making it clear in no uncertain terms that if she goes through with the press conference and torpedo’s his chances to be chairman she’s as good as dead. That’s monstrous. I make no bones about that. I would just argue that Boo is merely the monster that Pil Joo has made of him.

If we’re going to completely jettison the possibility of Boo’s redemption arc based on that scene, Pil Joo shouldn’t be getting a pass. In the moral landscape of the show, Pil Joo has done everything Boo has done, but three shades darker.

Pil Joo has personally laid hands on Seo Won not once…

But two separate times….

He has also directly threatened her life on multiple occasions. He’s the Jang family fixer. We know how dirty his hands can get. The show has shown us. And we can argue all day long that Pil Joo never would have actually harmed her. That he was trying to put the fear of god into her because he was also a victim of Jang family violence toward mistresses and their unacknowledged children…but does that justify it? Boo has also on multiple occasions attempted to remove her from the situation, and taken steps to protect her from his family by bringing their son to Mooshimwon. Seo Won is either too foolhardy or too determined to take the hint. She revealed herself to Mo Hyun with malicious intent and became indirectly responsible for the loss of his unborn child.

He goes to the hotel room to meet Seo Won because Pil Joo sent him there. He threatens her with a knife–Pil Joo’s knife interestingly enough–making good on his promise not to let anyone stand between him and the chairman position. Why does he even want the chairman position? Because that’s what Pil Joo groomed him to want:

Sure, Boo has said that he wanted to become chairman for his own reasons now. He is motivated to succeed so that Mo Hyun will praise him and feel proud of him. He’s motivated to do it because he’s developed a real affection for his wife. He loves her enough to feel jealous over the prospect of losing her, to go head to head with his mother over her, and even to put his own life at risk for her. Why is he even married to Mo Hyun? Because of Pil Joo’s manipulations.

Everyone is in the position they’re in because of Pil Joo’s manipulations. Look at what he’s done to Mo Hyun! He lied repeatedly, fed Boo lines, write apology letters for him, engineered situations to further the seduction plot for his own personal benefit. He has continually withheld crucial information from her in order to control her actions. Because it all forwards his revenge plot.

Furthermore, he resents Mo Hyun for falling in love with Boo according to his own plot.

This is a pattern we have seen repeatedly. Since as early as episode 4:

Pil Joo blames other people for falling into his traps. He doesn’t take responsibility himself. He is “unable to stop himself” so they have to be the ones to resist him. He merely writes the scripts, he sets up the pieces, but if you fall for his tricks then it’s your own fault. That’s the attitude we’ve seen again and again.

And sure, he’s in denial. He obviously still has feelings for Mo Hyun. But those feelings have always been subordinate to his need for revenge, and continue to be sacrificed in the name of his goals. Along with the people around him, their lives and their happiness. Whether they deserve it or not. Everyone is expendable in the name of revenge.

He sets Mo Hyun up to hear the ugly truth about their deception and her arranged marriage as though he’s about to tell her everything, but then he only tells her enough to break her and drive her away from Mooshimwon. He didn’t even tell her why he, the real Jang Eun Cheon, is hiding his identity and staying in that family. He didn’t tell her why he was doing what he was doing. He didn’t explain why he became the Jang family dog. He only told her enough to devastate her and driver her away. Let me repeat that: he didn’t even tell her the whole truth. His whole “confession” was just another one of his manipulations!

This has nothing to do with making a clean breast of it with Mo Hyun, and everything to do with the revenge plot. Pil Joo isn’t a martyr. He’s a monster.

Immediately after the confession, where is he? Planning his take over of Cheong A. He doesn’t even take a breath to recover. He immediately asks Yong Goo to go over the final leg of the plan with him:

After intentionally breaking Mo Hyun’s spirit and wrecking his supposed “friend’s” sham marriage of his own design, Pil Joo is right back on his slash and burn war path toward the utter destruction of Cheong A. We may want to attribute all these suppressed emotions and noble feelings to Pil Joo to try to mollify his guilt in some way. His mysterious friend/helper Yong Goo sure seems to want to. But you know what kind of person consistently suppresses their better feelings in the name of goal oriented, ends-justify-the-means pragmatism?

A cold blooded, sociopath. Which is what Pil Joo is.

By contrast, where do we find Boo after he threatens to kill the mother of his child in the name of his goals? Sobbing like a child in his car:

Where is he after his wife’s very understandable mental breakdown upon find out that the last five years of her life have been one long series of lies and manipulations orchestrated by and large by the man she loves? Watching over her as she sleeps.

Of the two of them, Boo is the one most visibly shaken and horrified by his actions. And it’s honestly a wonder that Boo isn’t more messed up than he is, morally speaking. Considering that he’s been physically and emotionally abused by his terrifying mother and manipulative friend for the past 20 years.

Oh yeah, remember how Pil Joo frequently uses violence with him when Boo doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do?

Boo still has a soul and is capable of feeling things like remorse and betrayal. Like the desire to protect his son.

While I feel terrible for Mo Hyun, because her life has been utterly and undeservedly wrecked by these people, I think she’s capable of recovery. After all, she already suspected what kind of people lived a Mooshimwon. She has had multiple indications of what kind of situation she is willingly placing herself in. Boo is coping with the shock that everything he believed about his life for almost 20 years is a lie. His sense of identity has been shaken–everything he’s wanted, everything he’s ever attained is part of this lie. He was forced into an arranged marriage that he didn’t even want at the time and now that he truly loves his wife, she’s calling out Pil Joo’s name in her sleep! He just found out that his only friend has never been sincere with him. Rather, he approached him maliciously with the intention of ruining his family and taking his place. Not only that, he’s found out that he’s not even the biological son of the father that he idolizes. Pil Joo is the true heir, here to take everything away he’s ever taught Boo to want.

Anybody would crack up in these circumstances. And he can’t even talk to anyone about it. He can’t tell his mother or confide in wife or the person who was supposed to be his best friend. He ends up going to his unacknowledged father (I think he knows, or at least strongly suspects who Driver Oh is) to vent some of his grief.

He talks about the truth of Pil Joo’s deception being enough to kill Mal Ran if she was to ever find out. But I think the same scene can be taken a different way. He doesn’t want his mom to find out the truth, because he doesn’t want her to feel the way he feels right now. Like he might die from it. Because Boo really loved Pil Joo, damn it! If we can say nothing else about Boo Cheon, we have to at least give him that.

Even if they intend to make Boo the antagonist from this point until the end of the drama, I just can’t bring myself to hate him. He’s too pitiful. Sure, he’s weak and selfish and entitled. But he is what he was conditioned to be from a very young age. His mother has treated him like an incompetent disappointment and Pil Joo has turned him into a puppet. If things had played out different, who knows where he would be right now? If not for Pil Joo’s interference, who knows what kind of person he could have become?

One big thing that the shooting range scene demonstrates (besides the fact that Boo has officially been driven around the bend) is that when he isn’t comparing himself to or being hopelessly dependent on Pil Joo, he can actually perform very well.

As much as I despise his cousin, I think Yeo Cheon was right about something:

Anyway…that’s why I can’t help but root for and feel sorry for Boo. I hope that he’s not past the point of no return. And I’m still waiting for Pil Joo to recognize the fact that a) Boo is a victim of this corrupt family as much as he is himself and b) he doesn’t have the right to manipulate and destroy other people’s lives like some kind of vengeful god. Even when the deserve it.

If it’s not evident from what I’ve written above: I really, really like this show. It’s mad entertaining, and the character arcs are as complex as they are tragic. I am still hoping for Pil Joo’s redemption, I think the man is utterly fascinating. I don’t see this train wreck having a happy ending. But I’m still waiting for Pil Joo and Boo to actually have it out about Pil Joo’s lies before someone gets shot or stabbed. I want to believe, even at this point, that Pil Joo really did come to care for Boo. Even if he started out hating him, I can’t believe all he feels for Boo is hate, anymore than I believe he really put a stop to his feelings for Mo Hyun. Forgiveness might not be possible at this point, but at the very least I’m hoping for closure. A lot can happen in 6 hours, so lets keep our fingers crossed.

Anyway, those are my TL;DR feelings about Money Flower. Raw and  unabridged. Thanks for your patience while I worked on your ask, and thanks for sticking with me if you read this far. Goodnight, my lovely followers. You’re all so beautiful.

Jona

[studyessie]

Yes, the infamous writing process that no one ever follows.

I'm sorry to say, there really is no other way. The biggest struggle with writing essays is being able to put jumbled up thoughts into one coherent piece of writing. That's why this masterpost isn't only going to tell you how to write your essay, but also how to organize it. There are many steps to writing an essay. If followed correctly, every essay will be executed perfectly.

1.       P R E W R I T E

It is important to understand the prompt and the style of writing your teacher is looking for. Whether it may be argumentative, descriptive, or informative, the prompt should allow you to follow that type of writing. The best way to organize yourself is to create lists. And ohhh yes, I love my lists. When given a prompt, I suggest you write down multiple answers or possible topics you have for that prompt. Continuing this, jot down little subtopics for each of them. This is where you'll reach your "AHA" moment. Usually, there will be one that really sticks out and allows you to have a good range of things to talk about. This is the one you want to choose. If it's easy to brainstorm ideas from the beginning, it'll be fairly easy the rest of the way through.

2.       O U T L I N E

Once you've chosen a solid topic to write about, go ahead and write an outline. There are numerous ways to do this so it really just depends on your preference. If you are unsure about it, try out different ones and figure out which one makes the process easiest for you. A couple of outlines that I use are the T/Melcon format, mind mapping, and clustering. The essence of creating an outline is so that once you finally begin writing, you should be able to use that outline to guide you through what to write next. That's why of all the outlines I've used, I prefer the T/Melcon format the most. It allows me to separate my intro, body, and conclusion paragraphs. As well as have the main topics and subtopics of each of those body paragraphs. Here is the basic outline that I follow:

Prompt: Introduction Paragraph: Gain Attention (GA): Thesis: Body Paragraph 1: Topic 1: Evidence 1: Explanation: Evidence 2: Explanation: Evidence 3(optional): Explanation: Concluding Sentence: Body Paragraph 2: Topic 2: *Same as B.P. 1 Body Paragraph 3: Topic 3: *Same as B.P. 1 *May have a Body Paragraph 4 (if needed), format same as others Conclusion Paragraph: Quick summary/Recap: Reiterate Thesis: Future Statement:

*Note: I never completely fill out my outlines. That would be way too stressful and truthfully a waist of time. I find that I always stray away from my outline once I actually start writing the essay because, every time without fail, new ideas will start to pop up that you will want to incorporate.

3.       I N T R O D U C T I O N

Okay okay, I would never EVER in my life tell you to start with the introduction. Why? Because I absolutely hate writing them and it makes the entire writing process so much more stressful. Thinking about what that first word readers are going to see and how that affects the entire tone of your essay stresses me out to the max. Instead, I would say to have a rough thesis statement. Yea, that one sentence that is a requirement in every introduction. Start with a quick thesis about the three or four things you want to cover and move on to your body paragraphs.

4.       B O D Y  P A R A G R A P H S

This is where your outline is going to be most effective (if done correctly). I usually make sure I have all my facts/evidence pieces figured out and work through the explanations of each as I go along my essay. This is because I want my essay to flow well. The best way to do this is to connect your evidence to your theme/prompt and also introduce your next piece of evidence. Here's an example I took from a recent essay I wrote:

In “Race: The Power of an Illusion,” the author writes, “Race is a modern idea… The new idea of race helped explain why some people could be denied the rights and freedoms others took for granted,” (Rogow 4). When one uses the term the “human race” they are referring to humans as a whole. Yet this simple word has come to create many conflicts. This is because the perception of the word ‘race’ has been distorted somewhere along the way and has caused cultural relations to clash in the United States. To follow this, in “Sunday Dialogue: The Meaning of ‘Race’,” it is written that “all ‘racial’ classifications are inherently flawed, because they are based on the false idea of ‘race’,” (Sunday 1).

Rogow, Faith. “Race: The Power of an Illusion.” www-tc.pbs.org, 2003, https://www-tc.pbs.org/race/images/race-guide-lores.pdf. Accessed 23 Aug. 2017. “Sunday Dialogur: The Meaning of ‘Race’.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 20 July 2013, http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/21/opinion/sunday/sunday-dialogue-the-meaning-of-race.html. Accessed 23 Aug. 2017

*Notice how I mention the fact that the meaning of "race" has been distorted and how the following quote that introduces my next piece of evidence talks about the "inherently flawed" classifications of the word.

This can also be done for concluding statements. Summarize that body paragraph and quickly, and subtly, introduce the topic of the next paragraph. It doesn't need to be evident, but if the reader is reading actively, they should be able to spot it.

5.   ��   Conclusion Paragraph

The hardest part of the concluding paragraph for me is restating the thesis in a different way. Well what other way can I possibly say it in? This is where Thesaurus.com becomes your BEST FRIEND, YOUR LIFE LONG PAL. Trust me, he's the best. And no I did not just personify a website. If you're struggling to reword your thesis, don't feel ashamed in using a thesaurus. The best tip I can give you for writing your conclusion paragraph is to never write your last sentence as if it's the end of the road. As if the topic you wrote about ends there, fin, at the last word of your essay. Why? Because it really doesn't. Whether it's your current journey, a memory that happened long ago, or a current situation in society, IT'S STILL HAPPENING. It doesn't end because your essay says it does. Even if it's one of your most personal memories, that memory continues to impact you in your everyday life. Instead, write about the future. How it's going to affect you, how you wish your journey will continue, or the hopes you have for the future of the society.

6.       B A C K  T O  T H A T  I N T R O

Alrighty, so now that you have a much better idea of what your essay is really all about. Writing the intro should be easy. Depending on what exactly you wrote, you need to figure out the tone of your essay and how you're going to introduce that tone. Whether it be through a quote, and astonishing fact, or an anecdote, only you can make the best judgement of how you want your essay portrayed. Following this, go back to your thesis. Make sure you introduce every main topic of your body paragraphs and polish up the word choice. The vocabulary you choose also affects your tone and what readers can expect. The purpose of the thesis is exactly this. Make sure you're giving them an accurate idea. Don't make them picture something that your essay isn't about.

7.       R E V I S E  &  E D I T

I SEE YOU. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T GO BACK AND READ YOUR ENTIRE ESSAY OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. Well guess what? I don't either. I know that by the end of it, you're beat. And the last thing you want to do is look for all the intricate grammar mistakes that you've probably made all over the place. If you want to avoid this, do yourself the favor of not waiting until the last day. This way, even if it's the second-to-last day before your essay is due, you still have one more day to go back over it and perfect it.

-

Hey there guys! This is it for this masterpost! Ahh it's been a minute, huh? This series should have been done since late August but here I am still finishing it. Oops. I'm slowly getting into the swing of things and have been focusing more on my time management. Between work and school, I still want to make sure my friends and this blog are apart of my priorities! I really hoped you guys enjoyed this masterpost as it took me longer to write than most. I've been writing this one for over a week but only because I'll visit it for ten minutes at a time lol. I'll stop ranting now but please expect more from my blog! I'm not gone yet :)

*Also BTS COMEBACK IS EXTREMELY RUDE AND I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT

 Don’t forget to check out the rest of this series here! This is the last of the series so I hope you guys enjoyed it :)

-much love, studyessie

[beccawastaken]

My life summarized Pt. 1...

I started this blog cause there is always so much in my head, it moves at the speed of light, some of it makes complete and utter sense, some of it sounds great til the very second it rolls off my tongue and then sounds nothing like it did in my head, some of it is just random nonsensical stuff that seems to have fallen off a stand up comedians cue cards and straight into the part of my psyche that prefers her own lyrics. It makes it very hard to focus on one task to completion, I even tend to put down my guitar and journal for months on end...so sad!

I must admit that I have worked my ass off to try to make some kind of sense of it all and now when I am unable to rather than let frustration take over I tend to find my random head ramblings amusing. I mean it is often a frustrated, shaking my head at myself kind of amusing but still...baby steps right? 

Sometimes the thoughts can be so intense and so rapid that its overwhelming and it takes every ounce of my strength not to scream til it stops. At its worst its almost like there are so many thoughts moving so quickly that it can sound like a constant high pitch buzz in my head. Super exhausting, and difficult to explain to those around you. People tell me to just go to sleep...ever tried sleeping with a shop vac on or inside a construction site? That would be comparable to this, plus, sleeping also isn't my forte so I’m double fucked so to speak.

The human mind and psyche intrigues me to no end. The way it works, and how the basic brain functions are the same across society yet our perception and the cogs and wheels inside each skull are as unique as our deoxyribonucleic acid. For each and every one of us, the way we tick can be vastly different from one another, from the person beside you on the bus, to that guy you’ve worked with for years to a lover or spouse and often really have no way of knowing. I mean how often do we turn to each other and say “can we talk about how your brain works?” We just take for granted that it does and don’t give it a second thought.(haha you will come to notice my love for puns)

Its the intricate differences between us that keep me interested in this self sabotaging species, I mean really, Earth doesn’t need humans to survive, in fact it may be better off without us! Who knows, what I do know is that while im here on this seemingly massive planet im going to make the most of it. 

I have a wicked sense of humour (ask anyone haha) and I enjoy messing with people (in a jovial way of course). Im talking like practical joke type of messing with people, light, innocent funny shit. I have been referred to as a brain ninja...I took it as a compliment, however, when you are on the receiving end its possible that it isnt nearly as enjoyable. I do my best not to be mean (I said I do my best, I am not perfect) cause you know, I’m no psycho, although some will attest to that statement not being true, I have honed my inner psycho and now only use her when absolutely necessary. Like if some douchelord crosses one of my angels or my grandson. Then my wrath should be feared, simple enough right? (WOW that escalated quickly! O_O)

I just do not want to waste my life, I spent so much of it not knowing how to handle daily life, assuming (naturally cause why wouldn’t I as a single child raised by someone that constantly blamed others and the world for her problems) that everyone’s mind worked the same, everybody deals with the racing and loops of thoughts you cant kick, or falls asleep with a song stuck in they’re head and wakes up and it starts again as if paused. Every morning. (Don’t drop that duh duh duh....grrr) For days! I mean doesn't everybody worry about every move they make, and lay in bed with they’re eyes closed trying to sleep and checking the clock twenty minutes later only to find SURPRISE, its been three hours! Or this relentless saviour complex I have, I can solve almost anyone's problem or at least help them find a path they are more comfy with but for years when it came to mine, I just couldn’t. This is just a few of the things i deal with or have been forced to deal with this life, Im sure i will touch on more. 

I have my children to thank for helping me learn how to deal with my version of life and not giving up on me when I know it would have been easier at times. (Dont drop that duhduhduh....ugh) I want to be honest in this blog, I pride myself on my honesty yet shy away from the darker, not so beautiful sides of who I am as if they don’t exist to the outside world. The thing is, I do not look sick, in fact I look great, besides a few extra pounds. My illness is not a physical one yet it has complete control from the inside out a lot of the time. I work very hard on a daily basis so I do not look like I am falling apart.

I feel emotions at a much higher level than the majority of humanity, I know this now. I don’t feel a lil bit of anything, if im sad, im so sad that even just being in my presence can break your heart. If something good happens and I feel a twinge of joy, I literally have to physically hold myself still sometimes cause it will surge like a lightening bolt through me and often some strange squeak comes out, fingers fully extended as if the energy just exploded form my core and out my extremities. Then, just as fast as it surges it disappears and there I am a woman bordering forty with this maniacal smile on my face like the joker and hair standing up like the professor from Back to The Future. Its quite a sight I am sure, and as much as it has been really hard to work with this side of myself I would rather be inside looking out and have to fix my hair then the onlookers forced to decide between the choice to ask if I am alright or back away slowly. Same with anger, although we have a bit of a deeper connection than other emotions, yea, thats right, we tight. Let me explain...or try;

I like to think my anger trigger point was when grandpa died, but looking back that is ridiculous, I was pissed at both my parents for what they put me through during the divorce but refused to take it out on them, they were in enough pain, they couldn't see it but i sure could.  When I am angry I scare people, I seem to fear nothing (not sure if that’s brave or not) and once I am angry there is no going back, I am completely incorrigible, illogical and refuse to listen. I have scared off men twice my size, not with violence of the physical kind, my verbal violence can be so articulated that I honestly think some people are scared to the core. I have shocked myself at times and thats not easy. Once I realized that I was growing into my version of the hulk I had to do something, I was starting to hate everyone and everything. 

I started replacing the empty yet extremely fucked up (for lack of a better word) threats with just simply making light of what it was that triggered me, albeit in an aggressive manner however it has proven effective in attempting to analyze what set me off and try to stop the rage fuelled rant.

I really wanted to give you an example but as I was trying to find one it proved difficult so im gonna call that progress. Anyway this venting became humorous to those around me, they all knew me so well that they would turn they’re heads and try not to laugh (ever been laughed at when your livid? its not cool, same as if are upset and someone says ‘calm down’ calm down, CALM DOWN?! like fuck off n all if you honestly believe im not trying, you think i wanna feel this way? like this is some kind of sick joke for me? pfft people!) in an attempt to not be caught in the crossfire of my verbal war. 

At first this angered me too (go figure, Hulkbitch) then one day, someone laughed and I took a step back and thought about what I had said and started laughing. Clearly my loved ones weren't laughing at my agony, but the words and descriptions i used to figure it out did tend to be funny. It takes a lot for me to get angry like that now, if I do tho, I still vent with sarcastic wit and make myself laugh to bring myself out of it. 

I think I have myself in line pretty well now, I guess I should give some history here, I was a very happy child on the outside but a ball of nerves within, my mother was extremely mentally ill (which i did not know til after her passing) and my father was a violent alcoholic. Luckily I was sheltered from the worst of what they put each other through as they separated when I was 2, but fought and fought and fought over me for nine years. My mum would insist dad never wanted me he just didn't want her to have me, said that I was never good enough in his eyes cause he wanted a boy. Dad, would point out the homeless lady pushing all her belongings in a shopping cart and say “hey kid, thats where your mum is headed, just you watch”. I know now they were just dealing in their own ways with what was happening between them but it really messed with me. 

My father, my daddy, quit drinking not long after the separation, i to this day believe that he did this not only for himself but for me, to show me that no matter what you can make changes, just gotta face the problem head on and deal with it so you can move past it. He was always a tough, vulgar, strong, stubborn, hilarious and short lil french man with an ego the size of Goliath. He taught me not to take shit from anyone if I believed in the topic at hand and to learn to turn a cold shoulder when needed. Emotions were not discussed, Im not even sure to this day if I can remember him ever saying I love you, but he didn’t have to, I know he did. 

Mum had her own ways of dealing over the years, she was all emotion, raw and uncut. She would always react first, think later, which meant she felt the need to apologize a lot.  For her mistake, for not being good enough, for not doing well enough this was so hard to watch. She would repeat the same self defeating patterns she had been doing her whole life and expecting things to change. Definition if insanity much? shitty part is back then they had no fucking idea what insanity was, nor did they care to look. Had someone just took her side and spoke for her she would still be here, if only she was honest with me about how sick she was, I may never have gotten as sick as I did. She thought she was protecting me...

This woman was the sun to my moon and I loved her more than words can ever express. She never believed me when I said it, she always said right up til the end that nobody ever loved her. I know this was not true cause I figured my dad wouldn't get so mad about stuff if he didn't care, the opposite of love is not hate, its indifference. Mum was always in and out of the hospital and it was super hush hush, I assumed she had cancer. I was petrified to lose her, so I didn’t ask questions, just waited.

The custody battle went on and on, I remember my dad pushing our 1970somthing car up the street for some reason, didn't phase me much. I just said “oh look theres my daddy, he looks mad!”. We went to Expo ‘86 in British Columbia and mum was subpoena’d to come back to the prairies for court immediately, so she had to leave her vacation just to go back and find out it was remanded.  They were both so angry all the time, I thought it was my fault...had I not been there there would be nothing left to fight about right?

Okay so divorce was finalized when I was 11...Grandma and grandpa (mums side) loved the shit out of me too, ive seen pics of gramma in the military which made sense as I grew up as to why she was so tough but she must have been retired by time I was born. They bought an old ‘70s van and converted it into beds in the back, a table and even a port a potty! They lovingly got personalized plates with my name and the number “2″ after it. They took really good care of me, always loved me and wanted what was best.

I remember around 10yrs old I realized my initials were B.S. and I was not impressed at all as not one word that came out my mouth (at that age) was BS. I was insulted and wanted it changed, plus I knew it would make mum happy if I changed my name to hers. The divorce was finalized my initials were changed to B.J....JUST in time for puberty, (woooooooo) yeah, didn't live that one down for a very long time.

My reason for bringing up my grandparents is so that you all know that aside from this somewhat bleak story thus far, I had many people that loved me, including mum and dad, they just preferred to fight about it. 

Shit, fuck, damn, I just had a memory, not a good one but I spoz thats why our brains block things out eh? I do not know how this came about, my mother was very abused growing up and it took a toll on her.  I remember mum and the  grandparents fighting, i remember gramma telling mum to get her head out of her ass and i remember trying to picture that...I was not going to be seeing them for a while til things cooled down.

Mum was sure that my grandpa had molested me, I am not going to say it didn’t happen but as far as I can recall my grandpa was the sweetest most loving man ever. anyway, mum was questioning me, yelling, badgering me and generally acting crazy i spoz, this was before I know what that looked like.  She kept asking inches from my face if he had done anything to me and i maintained that he hadn’t. Finally hours later I was tired and hungry and she was clearly still psychotic she yelled at me are you sure (for the millionth time) I finally yelled out “fine, he did it!” I had no idea what he had done, or when, cause i wasn't there i just wanted her to stop. She was making herself crazy and it broke my heart. I didn't see my grandparents again for three years. Grandpa had gone senile and was not himself, didnt remember close family members etc. When I got there, I ran in the house and we met at the doorway, me at the bottom of the entrance stairs and him at the top. I smiled, and he looked at me puzzled, then started crying, then laughing then crying. I was so glad he got to remember me. I missed him so much.

This was all before I was even a teenager. Grandpa died not long after he was put in a care home cause gramma wasn't able to care for him. His death was my first experience with such a thing, I had no way of knowing how to deal with a loss like this...so I guess I just didn’t.

[isaacathom]

theres not a whole lot to the cop to develop, i guess. she’s a cop. she has a wife and probably a kid. which of them had the kid? dude. idk. shes like..... 30? so shes the oldest person there, yea, but thats not meaning a lot when its just a bunch of 25 year old criminals. seniority in age isnt exactly the issue here.

at my best guess, part of what inspired her to be a cop would stem from her being an elf. while the north are rather friendly towards elves, particularly in comparison to the south, its impossible for there no hostility, no stereotyping. as an elf who only speaks basic elven, she’s got a disconnect between her culture and that of her environment. as an elf, she’s a poor one. as an elf, she’s isolated in a predominantly human city. its a sort of lose lose.

so you get treated like shit a lot. and you grow to idolise those who have power. in part, that explains her loyalty to the royals, despite the kings utter fucking incompetence. she’s not blindly loyal, which is why she usually talks to Crown if she must talk to one of them, but she’s got that streak. and the guard, obviously, and all the associated groups. it makes sense to want to be in that untouchable position, where noone can hurt you, when you’re being hurt.

so she becomes a cop, because royalty isnt gonna happen. it takes time. it takes years. she falls in love with and marries in the time between starting training and being formally inducted into the guard. she feels absolutely unstoppable now. that she’s going to protect those who are wronged.

then, yknow... the law? and the letter of it? oof, baby, honey, no. she comes to see how those in power can abuse it, with her rose tinted glasses removed. she sees how its the letter and not the spirit that is enforced. how those that are hurt can be kept hurt. and it fucks her up. and theres the fact that now she’s a cop, and actively trying to curb the power of the major criminal players, that they have their eyes on her. that there is likely an incident where her wife could have died. maybe their first child even dies, i dont know. and it sucks! it absolutely sucks! that she has to both arrest people who she knows are good, and good people, and that she has to watch those she loves most be hurt because of her choice of profession. it sucks!!!! she and her wife have to live separately, and it sucks!!! she likely has to arrest someone she knows after they get attacked and fight back, and it sucks!!!

she’s probably a little disillusioned with the whole thing. the guard aren’t untouchable, aren’t infallible, and are often wrong. it sucks

the criminals fighting crime initiative wasn’t her idea. it was Crown’s idea. but the cop is a champion for it. she firmly believes that it could be a way to save some of the people who were imprisoned unjustly, but who the law couldnt save. she volunteers - volunteers - to be in charge of the first batch. but she’s not in charge of the full op, is she? so of course its someone above her picking the participants.

she’s a little miffed about the selection. Koci she’s glad is getting a chance to reduce her sentence, since Koci is one of the cases the cop has been fighting hardest for. since, well... its not exactly subtle the signs that koci was badly injured before joining the pact. its obvious that she was almost killed (or actually killed, they dont knw) before she lashed out and killed hundreds. she was possessed, it wasnt her. but she did the crime. she does the time. and the cop hates it.

Rien is a mixed bag. the cop has met them before, and they seemed a good person. they were suspicious off the bat for being a westerner, and due to the existing migrated western gang, but they were nice, and Amali trusted them, so they seemed good. they were well liked among the farmers and the market. but then, yknow, they come in confessing to being a bandit who had robbed dozens and carted goods illegally across the southern border and who had also gotten Amali killed in a bandit attack. ok. we’ve got issues. are they a good person, or a bad person? do they deserve a chance to redeem themself? the cop sort of manages by justifying it as Rien proving that they aren’t a liar, and that they meant what they said. which would prove them as a mostly - mostly - good person, in the end, right????? sure.

Warzens a flat ‘fuck no’ from the cop. Warzen is an unapologetic necromancer. unapologetic. unabashed. mans a proud fucking necromancer. he’s weird. he’s an asshole, he’s a criminal with no remorse. the only thing tha seems to go in his favour, aside from his skillset being potentially useful in the field, is that he seemed genuinely distressed when they destroyed his workshop home when hey arrested him. like... that was some from the soul pain. not the pain of someone mildly inconvenienced. he lost something in that fire, and it... it tugs at the strings, a little. a little. he’s still kind of an asshole, and the cop is POSITIVE he doesnt fuckin deserve the chance. but fine. fuck it. he’ll be under lock and key the entire fucking time, planar magically speaking. it should be fine.

Saval is...... a very mixed bag. they have the same issue as Warzen - an unabashed and unashamed criminal. A shit one, sure, considering she knocked herself out trying to rob a place, but a criminal nevertheless. she regrets none of it, beyond the consequences it held. That would place her in the Warzen camp. But. But but but. her information has resulted in the arrests of dozens of criminals. her in conjunction with a few of them captured have basically destroyed most of the western gang. she has been valuable. so her position on the crim gang is basically a sort of thanks, since the law provides no other way to reduce her sentence, really. but that doesn’t mean the cop likes it. does saval genuinely deserve the chance to get out of jail earlier, considering she’ll likely go right back to crime when she’s free? the cop doesn’t know. how far can kindness extend?

but the cop championed the initiative. she has to stick by it, regardless of her distaste for the group that was picked. on the inside, she knows its a form of sabotage. she knows that there are higher ups who dont want the initiative to work and are going to scapegoat the fuck out of her when it fails due to their shit selection of people. but she’s gonna fight tooth and nail to make it successful, god fucking dammit. 

she’s basically trying her damn hardest to keep the entire group from falling apart. its the only reason she breaks up arguments - not because she really, personally cares too much, but because the less fighting, the better. like when koci starts angrily ranting at Rien for no other reason than that Rien seems like an easy target, the cop doesn’t.... personally care? but knows that breaking it up early is better than potentially making Rien angry, and having Rien sabotage the whole thing. especially since Rien seems to be on board with the whole thing.

its a bit higher stakes when it comes to warzen and saval due to their uhhhh unreliability, we’ll say. HARD fuck no. the less those two get pissed off, the better. its a cfucking relief to the cop when warzen/rien and saval/koci become friends. because now theres a sort of ‘back up’. theres a fall back. they can be caught before exiting. the concern is that warzen might drag rien outwards rather than rien dragging him inwards, buuuut she’ll cross that bridge when it comes up.

tl;dr the cop wanted to be untouchable and protect people, kind of got neither by becoming a cop and essentially the king’s fucking lackey, and is reaaaaalllllllyyy fucking hoping that this criminals-fighting-crime thing works out and she is completely fucked. both in terms of having a job (and potentially being alive, depending on outcome) and in terms of like. mentality. :)