#which btw i doubt anyone will but IF anyone would like anything specific tell me!!!

[waterfallofspace]

Hello. I am here to say that I am still absolutely insanely out of my mind every time I think about or rewatch D/abi's dance scene.

I know I haven't written him yet, but I absolutely will, and my love for him runs deep. But I just wanted to say that the image of him peering through his hair has been stuck in my head and I am losing it.

I have included this image of said pose for your convivence. He has no. right. to look so good here. That is all, thank you for your time <3

[calp0sa]

Favorite Headcanons for airy?

i have like 10 million headcanons for him but i’ll list as many as i can from the top of my head

-hes autistic LIKE ME!!! and is specifically very autistic about music (like meee) i like to think he had a huge collection of vinyls cds cassettes etc and its all stuff from the 60s to the early 90s. no doubt he had a bunch of posters for his favorite bands and musicians too. and hes awesome on the guitar, great rhythm guitarist… its a shame he couldn’t make his talent a profession like he once dreamed of doing. oh well, at least the number 1 perk of trucking is that its peaceful and you dont really have to interact with many people! plus trucks have radios, and cd players, so airy would often bring along a few albums to listen to as he drove those long days and nights.

-hes also got a knack for aquatic creatures (LIKE ME) of course, being a literal fish monster himself (cool fact my airy design is like actually a fish monster he can breathe underwater and everything and his limbs are covered in fish scales) airy loves fish both as friends and food. hes particularly fond of freshwater fish, which makes sense considering the fact he grew up around the swamps of louisiana (yes im making him louisianan Like Me shaddap) hes also fond of those fucked up looking deep sea creatures, just so fascinating. i think airy liked to do a little fishing in his spare time. And hes awesome at cooking em but fair warning for those with a low spice tolerance… he loves spicy food btw (like meeeee)

-when airy was in the forest, he kept a log of his thoughts on the computer, in an attempt to hopefully give himself whatever clarity he could. the notes ranged from all brief, to desperate, to hopeless, to spiraling, to borderline dadaist poetry? to insanity, to denial, to whatever, really i think his mind was obviously all over the place on a daily basis. things must have been pretty loud for him, that cassette player was probably one of the only things keeping him together, before he numbed himself n all, which is around the time he ceased writing these notes as he saw no point in doing so.

-ok enough about him suffering we’ll get back to that later Airy’s favorite drink is ginger ale i mean look at that guy and tell me he doesnt fw ginger ale or dr pepper are you kidding me. he can have dr pepper as a little treat (too much soda is bad for anyone especially if youre an old feller like airy) speaking of little treats i like to think he has an insatiable sweet tooth LIKE MEEEE and his favorite treaaats are pumpkin pie, macarons and practically anything chocolate he loves chocolate (im like allergic to not projecting onto my favorite characters if you couldnt tell) maybe airy knows how to bake a little bit i mean he is an object show host after all

-this is oddly specific but airy is a chronic pain warrior #JUSTLIKEME so when he was in the forest he’d make like home made heating pads by wetting a glob of moss and putting it against his face while he had his flame on (he sometimes put it on a plank over a bonfire if he felt like it) this was a bit tricky when he broke his face but im sure he managed he always manages (kinda) (relatively speaking)

-well anyway we’re back to the forest and i just mentioned his broken face So you know how he disappeared for seven months after he did that lol well what if it was because the pain and shock from that incident evoked the long lost clarity he’d been so stubbornly avoiding in order to cling on to his meaningless, fallacious escapism which triggered him and sent him into a state of agonizing self consciousness, reminding him of his earthly death, how he used to be Someone, and how he essentially let himself rot into what is now an empty shell of who he once was. after so many years, the first reflection he saw of himself was seen in something broken; shards of glass, of which he couldn’t stand to look at… as there is nothing comparable to the pain of revelation, the burden of truth after having been so lost and festered into the stagnant waters that surround you. he felt he had no choice, he disposed of the shards into the nearby stream. those seven months were not just a matter of physically healing, but as a means to losing himself all over again.

-Aaaanyway i think airy had a cat at some point in his life i think we can all agree hes a cat person right!!! he had a tortoiseshell kitty named goose and he loved her very much. idk why he named her goose he probably just thought it was funny to name an animal after a different animal.

-OH YEAH lemme bring amelia into this listen i am such a huge fan of the theory of airy being related to amelia so i like to think hes her uncle!! when amelia was little she’d stay over at airy’s house while her parents were away and he’d teach her stuff like how to fish, how to ward off snakes, how to kayak, all that jazz cuz he was an awesome uncle. she was kinda like an actual daughter to him. and amelia was so fond of sunny weather as a child, one dayy at airy’s house she had to stay inside because it was too rainy, so she occupied herself by drawing a little picture of the way she wished earth was; always sunny, sky always blue, grass always green, huh! the way she drew that grass as individual little triangles is all too familiar is it not…

OK I HAVE SOMEWHERE 2 GO now i’ll probablt add more later But thank u so much for asking this i love love love infodumping about anything airy related i heart airy

[msallurea]

It's Okay to Feel Okay

Ok so recently, specifically a few days ago I had deleted tumblr for a bit to get my mind together. I had wanted to manifest my dream life because I'll be taking senior pics on the 31st and honestly I was fed up with myself with not genuinely applying knowing that I wanted to live a certain way. There was a post that I had seen I can't remember the name right now but I did reblog it, it was "how to make everything sugar spice and everything nice" or something like that. One particular post caught my attention and it the "what if I don't persist" post and it DEFINITELY gave me a reality check, I feel like those who know pretty much everything there is to know about manifestation but aren't genuinely applying it should for sure read that because it definitely knocked sense into me. I had also been reading a lot of posts from @etherealkissed88 also i highly recommended reading her stuff if you ever want a rundown of the law that's quick and straight to the point. Something I noticed I continuously did which is what caused me to always have anxiety when manifesting was focusing on the 3d/my desire being in the 3d on time. So I decided to actually change my perspective and just tell myself since it's done in the 4d I don't have to worry about it not being in the 3d because itll reflect anyway..I've also been adopting the mindset of simply knowing it's finished IN IMAGINATION ONLY!! ...Now, since doing this, for maybe the past few days I haven't felt the need to affirm or visualize or anything, I mean I'd daydream here and there but it's kinda just like "eh I have it anyway so whatever" and let me tell you..as someone who constantly stressed on whether or not I was doing something right and worrying about when it will come and everything else this is the CALMEST and most NONCHALANT I've ever been about manifestation before. Like even now, when I would've tried sabatoging myself saying I HAVE to affirm especially because I do know I am a bit anxious about manifesting my dream life because I definitely want it before my big day which btw I feel like is perfectly fine to acknowledge. But honestly I just don't want to. I don't want to affirm. I don't want to visualize constantly. Because the entire point is that if I say it's already done in imagination and I see that I'm living my dream life in imagination truly there's nothing else for me to do but continuously choose that I'm living my dream life already. Something else that's had me feeling this way is when @etherealkissed88 mentioned that we aren't trying to convince ourselves we have it in the 3d..to be that way is being delusional, we're only accepting that it's already done in IMAGINATION aka the 4d. Since taking this into consideration I've been scarily calm,normally I would've been stressed and spiraling and even now when I "waver" when I see myself in the mirror it's just like a "eh whatever..nothing I do in the 3d affects my manifestation anyway so it doesn't matter" kind of feeling. And I just want anyone who is also experiencing this feeling where you feel as though you just don't want to do anything for your desire and it's just like a "eh whatever I have it in imagination anyway" kind of feeling IT. IS. OK and you are doing just fine. The whole point is the first place is making your desire feel NATURAL to you and if you feeling natural is you not really feeling anything and it's just a "oh it's done" then you are doing just fine if you have the feeling as if you "don't want your desire anymore" that's also fine, I can guarantee if your desire was fulfilled would you still feel like you wanted it or be stressed? I doubt it..just as the example is, I have a phone, I know I have a phone. Even if my phone wasn't in my hand right now I still know I have a phone. That is the feeling, that is the acceptance. Even if it isn't right there in front of you, you already have it because you accepted that you do.

[jgnico]

How do you feel about Gojo saying Sukuna was holding back and the people saying that this is out of character? Because to me it doesn’t seem out of character in the slightest considering how Sukuna didn’t actually go all out??? He didn’t use any of his techniques and relied on ten shadows. Which is great btw!! I think Sukuna using ten shadows is a nod to how ingenious Sukuna can get during battle and in general him solely relying on ten shadows doesn’t discredit him or anything it just shows that he is still got a lot up his arsenal. Also Gojo saying he put his whole soul and body into the fight is true he gave it his all and that’s all that matters idk why people are saying that the writing of this specific part is off because it was very clear that Sukuna was holding back on using his original form and techniques? I could be missing something idk

Short answer? I think it's silly. I've seen people call Gojo's scene in the airport outright character assassination and all that that tells me is that either a) they weren't following the fight very well or b) they don't give Gojo as a character the credit that his writing deserves.

As often as I rag on Gojo for fun, I do genuinely think that he's one of the best written characters in the manga, and his conversation with Geto, Nanami, and Haibara only adds to that. There's nothing wrong with Gojo acknowledging that Sukuna's strong, because he is. Likewise, it's not ridiculous for him to say that Sukuna didn't give the fight his all or that he might have lost even if Sukuna didn't have Ten Shadows. All of that is true and Gojo, out of anyone, would know that.

Long answer?

I think that a lot of the confusion over Gojo calling Sukuna strong comes from Gojo's confidence in the fight and people's own emotions toward Sukuna. We've all seen the fraud memes and Gojo did an expectational job showing his own fighting prowess during the second half of the fight, but a lot of people seem to be forgetting that Sukuna almost killed Gojo as soon as the fight started. Up until the fight flipped in Gojo's favor (after Sukuna was hit by Unlimited Void) Gojo was struggling. If Sukuna hadn't been holding back his other techniques to a) keep them a secret from spectators and b) ensure that Mahoraga adapted to Unlimited Void out of sight, it's very possible Gojo would have died after their first Domain Clash ended in Sukuna's favor.

Quick Explanation: In chapter 226, after Gojo's Domain breaks and he loses his technique for a time, but before he uses Simple Domain to save himself from Malevolent Shrine, Sukuna could have used his fire arrow in the same way he did against Mahoraga in Shibuya. With the amount of damage Gojo was taking at the time, we don't know if he would have been able to survive it, especially when all of his CE was being focused on healing the slashes Sukuna was dealing and likely couldn't have been spared to reinforce his body. (But once again, Sukuna was holding himself back, so neither us nor Gojo will ever know if he could have eneded their fight there.)

This is why I personally don't see anything wrong with Gojo being unsure if he could have beat Sukuna even without Ten Shadows.

But moving on to the less combat focused section of what I want to talk about. What was up with Gojo's confidence up until the literal end, only for him to doubt himself after the fact? I have two points for this one:

Gojo has to be strong for his students.

I touched on it in my response to one of your previous posts, (read: here) but I can't stress enough how Gojo's strength and, by extension, his confidence in his strength is for his students' sake. He teaches through his actions, but more importantly, he never shows them his own doubt.

The first time he fights Sukuna, he points out that Megumi is watching and, in his own words, "shows off."

Then, going into their actual fight in chapter 222, he looks serious in a way that we never really see from him. At least, up until the point where Yuuji reminds him that he and all his other students are there, that they're confident in him, and we see his entire demeanor going into the fight change. He's smiling; he's not worried in the least. He says, "Yeah, I got this," with a grin on his face, and that, more than it'll ever be for himself, was for his students.

There's another shift after the opening stage of their fight in chapter 224. What always stuck out to me from that chapter was Gojo noticing that their fight was being broadcasted. I won't go so far as to say he was less confident before that point or even that he wasn't trying as hard because that simply isn't true. But after he realizes that his students can see the fight as it's happening, Gojo's approach to fighting Sukuna changes almost entirely. Before, he was visibly having fun. Before, he was treating Sukuna as an equal to cut his teeth against. Was he getting on Sukuna's nerves intentionally, yes, but there was an aspect to it that felt more similar to how he spoke to Geto in their teenage years. Still antagonistic, that's just how his personality is, but not degrading in the way that he is later. (I'll expand on this thought in another post. For now, let's get back to my original point.)

After he spots Mei Mei's crows, Gojo never, not once, for the remainder of the fight expresses doubt in himself in any outward way.

We see frustration, we see anger, we see surprise, but never doubt. Never worry. And what does he say as soon as he get's the upper hand in the fight?

But why? Why is making sure that his students remain confident in him so important? Well, what's the answer to almost any question when it comes to Gojo's motivations?

Hidden Inventory and losing the person that mattered to him the most: Suguru Geto.

The same confidence that Gojo shows as an adult is what we see here, with one important distinction. He shares the place of being the strongest with Geto. "We're the strongest" isn't about them individually holding the title; it's about them together. They as a unit are the strongest. But here, Gojo tries to shoulder the burden of his fight against Toji alone while he sends Geto off with Riko and Kuroi. He seperates them and that duality of strength becomes weaker. Gojo loses, Riko dies, Geto loses, and they fail.

In the aftermath, Geto takes the guilt from that loss onto himself, and it only widens that separation into a chasm that Gojo is never able to cross. But we spend so much time talking about Geto's guilt over Hidden Inventory that I think we overlook Gojo's.

Even in a state where he'd feel nothing over killing a roomful of people, where he can't feel anger toward Toji over Riko, he feels like he messed up. He places blame on himself for their failure. Not just because he had lost but because Geto --someone that shared the position of being the Strongest with him-- expressed doubt in him shouldering so much of their mission at multiple points, only for Gojo to give him confidence in return and have that confidence ultimately be misplaced.

But isn't he making the same mistake with his students? Yes, and no.

Yes, in that he's giving them reassurance that is tragically (for lack of better word) misplaced, but no, in that they never expressed doubt in him. Not just because they aren't on his level when it comes to strength like Suguru was, but because he never gives them the chance to doubt him.

From the very beginning, when Yuuji first becomes his student, he makes sure that Yuuji doesn't have any doubt in him winning against Sukuna. And even when he's asked again at a time where none of his students are present, he thinks of this exchange with Yuuji. And his response to Kenjaku now was the same that it was to Yuuji.: "Nah, I'd win."

This isn't to say that Gojo didn't have faith in himself going into the fight or even through the majority of it. It would be at least disingenuous and at most outrageous for me to say that Gojo's confidence in himself was an act only for his students sake. What I'm saying with all of this is actually my second point in this post:

Gojo only expresses his true feelings to himself and....

I'm quickly running into the photo limit for this post so I'll be using quotes, but in chapter 233, we get, "Even though the opponent was the King of Curses, said to be the strongest in history, a thought nobody considered possible began to spread; Satoru Gojo could lose. Gojo himself was aware of that prospect. Yet, along with the signs of defeat came an undeniable feeling of satisfaction."

I've read through the entire fight multiple times now, and this is the only time that we see Gojo express doubt in himself. But instead of it feeling like a loss, as we'd expect, it's written as a positive. Gojo isn't upset at the idea that he might lose. He embraces it. As was stated both in chapter 233 and again in chapter 236, he's satisfied. Not just because he gave this fight everything that he had, but because him losing means that he'll return to the person that understood him --and the burden of being the strongest-- the best.

Much like Suguru couldn't smile from the bottom of his heart until his last moment with Gojo, Gojo couldn't be truly happy in a world where no one understood him. If Geto had been there with him, if Geto had been alive and by his side to share the burden and isolation of strength in the jujutsu world, he could have been truly happy with his life.

But that wasn't the reality that he lived in, nor was it something he could ever hope to accomplish.

Gojo's dream was to raise stronge allies, but that was never so that they could share the burden of strength with him. It was so that they could share it with each other. So that they never experienced the isolation of being strong alone the way that he did for the majority of his life. He wanted them to have their own Geto in each other.

It's not that he changed up his attitude regarding the fight and Sukuna after he died, but rather that his death brought him back to the person that he could finally (finally, after so long of being a pillar of strength rather than a person) express his true feelings to.

Or, to continue the quote from 233: "Being the strongest came with a sense of isolation. So the source of his present sense of fulfillment was..."

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Happily ever after

What does Idia's hair feel like. Does it feel like fire? How does it not burn anything? I have many questions about Idia's hair, but none of them will ever be answered. How sad.

Not proofread sorry!!!!

Warning(s): yandere/stalker Idia, fem reader, stockholm syndrome, implied pregnancy (at the very end)

You met a guy online recently. He calls himself Gloomy Samurai, he's cool and all, but he can be very unintentionally creepy sometimes. But you assumed you were misunderstanding him. After all, it is hard to understand tone over the internet...

But you were wrong about him.

He knew a lot about you. A lot more than you thought he knew. He knew your address, your age, the colour of your hair and eyes, despite you not telling him any of that. Oh, but of course he never let you know he knew that... no, you'd think he was a creep! Your interest in him would drop to zero, he'd get the bad end!

That's why he can't let you know. He'll get your good end for sure. After all, dating is just like a game... and he is very good at games.

gloomy_samurai: where do you live btw gloomy_samurai: nothing specific obviously gloomy_samurai: just like a general area

(Y/N): That sounds like something a ☆stalker☆ would ask

gloomy_samurai: ah seven gloomy_samurai: you're right gloomy_samurai: r.i.p. me i guess gloomy_samurai: i'm not stalking you

(Y/N): Ye I know (Y/N): Just messing with u (Y/N): As for where I live (Y/N): Queendom of Roses

gloomy_samurai: really?! gloomy_samurai: no way!! i'm on a vacation there rn!

(Y/N): Woah really? (Y/N): What a coincidence

gloomy_samurai: yeah lol gloomy_samurai: i doubt we're anywhere near each other tho gloomy_samurai: but it'd be cool if we were gloomy_samurai: it'd be nice to meet you in person

(Y/N): Well, maybe we can! (Y/N): Where abouts are you at?

Idia couldn't believe what he was reading. You, wanted to meet up with him! In real life! Sure, he's seen pictures of you on your social medias, it's a completely different experience to see you irl!!

Sure, it means he'll have to, you know, go outside, but whatever! We all make sacrifices for love!

He continued making his plans with you, knowing that soon you two would take your relationship to the next level.

You walked into the coffee shop, hoping to get yourself a breakfast wrap and a doughnut.

You sat down at one of the booth seats, with your newly aquired and much-needed breakfast. It was a nice day. Your wrap tasted good. It was raining outside, but not enough to ruin everything.

But then, someone sat down across from you. He had two cups of coffee, he was wearing a hoodie, his eyes were yellow, and his lips a vibrant blue.

"Hi, (Y/N)~!" He said.

"Do I... know you...?" You asked him.

"Heehee! Of course you do, (Y/N)! But I guess I've never shown you myself... whoops." He shrugged. "Ba bababa baaaa~! It's Gloomy Samurai!" He imitated some kind of video game reveal sound.

"Wait, really?!" You asked. "Wow, you're... different than I expected. N-not a bad different, obviously!"

"It's fine, it's fine, but uh... p-people are... staring at us..." He said, nervously looking around. "Oh seven, I-I shouldn't've done that stupid reveal sound...! Why did I think a bunch of normies wouldn't think that was weird? Dammit!"

"Just act natural, things'll be fine." You assured him.

"A-a-alright, i-if you insist..."

"So what's your name?" You aksed.

"Huh-?"

"I mean, I only know your username, and that's a bit strange to say out in public... y'know, just casually referring to you as Gloomy Samurai might raise some eyebrows." You mentioned. "People might think that's a bit... weird."

"Oh, yeah, I guess... uh, my name's... I-Idia." He said, looking away from you. "And I already know your name, since you use it as your username, which you should change by the way. Anyone could find out who you are with that. Rookie mistake."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to change it..."

"So you live here, huh? Maybe you could, uh... s-show me around, or something?" Idia blushed. His hair was mostly hidden in the hoodie he was wearing, but the bits you could see, you noticed the tips turn pink.

"Oh, sure! That sounds fun! A nice walk in the rain together while I show you around my hometown..."

He didn't need you to do that. He's been keeping track of you for a while. He knows everything about your hometown. But of course... he has to pretend that isn't true.

He's always thought your name was so cute. It would go so well with his last name... (Y/N) Shroud... how fitting! How adorable! He's thought of that more than a few times... the two of you getting married, having two children, having a cute little kitten, living a perfect happily ever after... yes, he's thought about it so much.

You had no idea he thought that, however. Idia was good at hiding it.

You had no idea that when Idia's 'vacation' was over, you would be returning home with him.

Idia was delighted. His life turned out exactly as he'd predicted!

The two of you have a five-year-old daughter, and a baby on the way. You also have an adorable little kitten!

Idia entered your room, closing the door behind him.

"I, uh... I-I got you dinner, darling...!"

You were chained to the bed, tears stained your face.

But the strange thing is...

Every passing day, you feel like you're beginning to actually fall in love with Idia.

[sunniedesi]

Lost Sakae Esuno Manga: "Mail from the Heart"

I have a new inquiry for the Future Diary community, but this is a bit of a tricky one. For those unaware, the author, Sakae Esuno, has done a few other mangas before Future Diary, namely Hanako and the Terror of Allegory and Railway Angel. This last one is actually his first manga and was a doozy to find, given that it had only been published on a 2001 issue of the magazine Shonen Ace Next.

Well... what if I told you there's another story of Esuno's that has been lost to time?

(Sighs) This little gem of a oneshot is called Mail from the Heart (ココロよりメイル), and was published on an obscure edition of Shonen Ace back in 2003. I managed to find one article that mentions it, but the only relevant information it provides is that the protagonist is a maid. And that's... basically all we know about it! Very similar situation to Railway Angel. In fact, I only know about it because I accidentally stumbled upon this title looking for something else in his JP wikipedia page.

So, I'm mainly making this post to ask for any information regarding this title. All I managed to find was the issue it came out in, but that only raised more questions for me. To explain, here's the cover:

This is not a regular issue of Monthly Shonen Ace, but a different edition of the magazine titled "Aim for Ace!" (少年エースをねらえ!). I don't know much about this edition; according to the article I linked earlier, it's supplementary to Monthly Shonen Ace's June 2003 issue (whatever that means). The only issues I could find for it are this one (which is from spring 2003) and a 2014 one which coincidentally has two familiar faces on the cover...

(Has anyone seen this illustration before? It's the first time I've seen it :0. Note that that's Eiji, not Yukki btw. Also, this issue doesn't seem to have anything FD or BO related as far as I could tell, though I could be mistaken).

Anyway, I'm just curious to know if anybody else has seen or heard about this before, whether it be Mail from the Heart or Aim for Ace! If anyone just so happens to have that specific issue it would be ideal... but I highly doubt anyone reading this has it lol. I've only seen one auction site listing for the 2003 issue, though I'm not sure if it's still available. Either way, I don't think I have any chance of getting it myself (not gonna go into details about my personal life here, but given my current living situation, it's nearly impossible for me to ship something from Japan to my where I'm at). So in the meantime, any other possible information is more than welcome, be it about the lost manga, Aim for Ace! or even info on that crossover illustration.

(PS. If Esuno's Japanese wikipedia page is anything to go by, Mail from the Heart would be the only work in his bibliography that has yet to surface, so thankfully this is the second and last time we'll be dealing with an issue like this.)

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

This is so random but I’m just now realizing how bad of a superhero/villain or like monster hunter/monster I would make. Like, I always try and give people the benefit of the doubt and I n top of that I don’t believe in doing anything or developing any opinions if I can’t get an accurate telling of both sides of the story. So I’d be trying to get the monster/villain’s side of the story as a hero/hunter or at least try to urge them to get therapy or something. And if I was a villain I don’t think I could, in good conscience, do villain-y/monstrous things unless there was a specific purpose that outweighed the suffering involved by a wide margin. Not to mention I would start thinking about how the superheroes fighting me have like an entire life outside of being a hero just like me as a villain and then I’d start to worry if they were getting enough sleep and if not then it’s all my fault because I’m the one committing malicious acts; and if I were a monster I would only be able to see their hostile actions as an instinctive, human reaction to a threat, because at the end of the day that’s all a monster is in essence—a possible threat. And by that logic, anyone could be a monster, even a human. So would it then be my duty as a monster hunter to kill monstrous humans as well?

This all started when my professor got us deeper into the history of the indigenous people of North America and all that in our class, specifically the Sand Creek Massacre, and I remember talking to my mom about it later that day, telling her about how I couldn’t understand how someone could wake up in the morning with the knowledge that they’re going to be destroying lives (I’m mixed so we’ve had similar conversations but with slavery). And she said, simply, that that was just how it is. Some people just look as others and see nothing but (as she put it) “pigs”—by which she meant animals to kill or do with as they please (again, a similar answer as when we talked about slavery in the past) But I still couldn’t understand it, even though I’m well aware of the horrible acts humans can and do follow through with sometimes. Well, that’s not totally true. I could understand the reasonings behind them (much like with slavery), I just couldn’t understand how anyone could go through with it because those are whole-ass living beings that you’re hurting, sir. I wasn’t angry or anything (this, like slavery, happened in the past so I mainly was looking at it as something to just think about if that makes sense), but I wanted to understand the thought process even when I couldn’t to an extent. The whys grab my attention far more than the actual action (mainly because that’s just how I see history—something to be examined so that we can understand why things happened and prevent certain actions from being repeated. I’m not trying to be insensitive ever btw, so if I am feel free to tell me).

And then I started thinking about all of this when looking back in my reactions to how humans and na’vi are seen by themselves and each other. On the one end I, as a human, have a deep understanding of the nature of my species and why we’re doing what we’re doing. I can’t truly hate many of the humans (except for Quaritch, I think we can all agree on that) or even humanity as a whole because I’ve experienced all of the good within our species too and cling to it protectively, not wanting to see it die out or be overlooked by those who have never experienced it, but also because I can admittedly understand the business part of it as well and how it ties into our human world. But at the same time, I can’t dismiss the traumatizing experiences of the na’vi that was brought on by humans and is still happening, along with the needless focus on what the humans are mining for in Pandora (the fact that they’re not internalizing the lessons of history irritates me more than anything here). I can’t condone horrible behavior just because they were acts committed by my fellow humans, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with the lumping together of humanity as a whole that the na’vi could potentially do either because at the end of the day it’s a small percentage of humanity that’s even actively doing it to begin with.

Anyways, I think too much to be ever be anything but a neutral party in a hero/villain or monster/hunter world lol. You’re nice and have interesting things to add that always make me think (like with your thoughts surrounding Jake and animals after my somewhat depressing thoughts) so that’s why I’m sending you this ask btw, sorry if you’re not into discussing things like this or if this annoys you.

Oh god, never worry about annoying me, I'm sorry it takes me a while to get to these! No worries though, I am officially caught up on asks now, they're all in the drafts and ready so I'm good.

I totally get where you're coming from. It's important to remember that most people involved in these massive acts of cruelty and human rights abuses that we can't fathom ever being a party to were bystanders; complicit in their inaction. And most of our villains these days do what they do because they do think the purpose is greater than the suffering. It's easy to overlook the suffering of others when you are suffering as well, or when you don't think of them as people. It is hard for us to imagine from an outside perspective, and I don't at all sympathize with perpetrators or bystanders, but I understand how someone can end up in that position. I think it's important to me to be someone who strives to learn from my past inaction so I can do better in the future. That's all anyone can do, really. So, I think I understand, but I don't relate, if that makes sense.

But these are good thoughts and complex empathy to have for these characters. I wish it was true we all agreed on hating Quaritch though, lol.

[misculenica]

Tearing Down the Veil; what do? (theory/speculation)

(trespasser + inquisition spoilers, obvs)

--long-post--

We've all wondered it, those of us who love him, and those of us who hate him. What the hell is Solas going to do? What will happen when he does it?

This will be a short speculation of Solas' plans to tear down the veil and 'restore his people'.

So having spent a little more time of the Trespasser dlc lately, and exploring alternatives for new dialogues. I've become curious about a particular thing. His plan to tear down the veil; and specifically, what that could mean for Thedas (what I've been coming to name 'the corporeal world', in comparison to the Fade 'the abstract world').

We're still not sure what exactly he's up to - in the 2 year gap between base game ending + trespasser, as well as what he's been doing since walking through that eluvian. I can't offer much on this, other than he 'has plans' of some sort, regarding obtaining the red lyrium idol. My best guess is that he intends on obtaining as much power as possible which remains in the corporeal world through magical objects, given he's had (approx. forever) to collect the knowledge of how to go about his plans from the abstract world and his spirit/demon allies. He needs a powerhouse of arcana to bring the veil down, and now I would like to point out this; just how powerful was the foci/orb that SINGLE EVENT was supposed to accomplish his plans, and yet, he's spending years collecting numerous items to accomplish what I assume is the same effect?

Has the single event become a years long task, then? Going by this, could it then be possible that he's already set in motion a new ritual? By which I mean- there may not be a single 'event' we need to stop, it's already happening (perhaps then, disrupting it could cause something far worse to happen, or equally as terrible).

Another alternative I enjoy is that Solas is taking so long because he's purposefully delaying his plans. I doubt this, given the severity of his people's plight (which I believe to be spirits/demons/etc - not the elves- ancient or modern), he would want this to go as swiftly as possible. He could be delaying for 1 of 2 reasons; 1. He wants to be stopped (highly doubt this), or 2. The best way to ensure a smooth transition between veil-postveil world is to take it slowly, so then there would be less death/chaos. (I prefer this out of anything, honestly - as well as the theory that Solas took 2 years to get back to you during the base/trespasser because he was trying to find a way to remove the mark without killing Inky).

-- I would like to make a step-stone note to say my preferred idea (and speculation) is that the veil coming down is already happening. Just very very slowly, so the world has a less destructive transition - this causes major problems for Solas, but I do feel like he would try and make the death/destruction as minimal as possible (for the Fade denizens, as well as the Thedas). He hasn't told anyone about this, because.... Well, Thedas hates spirits/demons, and telling everyone 'btw I'm going to bring them all here, and change the foundations of your reality' is very.... well, I don't imagine it would go well. Have them all chase the single event, this single entity, think there's hope to win or give up along the years. I don't know XD I really like this idea. It puts me in mind of that one quote from some old movie I watched about a volcano (I'll insert it when I remember); 'if you put a frog in boiling water, it will try and jump out, but if you put it in cold water, and raise the heat slowly, it will let itself boil' - the takeaway, if you put someone in a bad situation, they will resist, but if you put someone is an 'ok' situation and let the 'heat rise', they will not notice how bad it gets. Or, to make it fit this situation with the veil. If he brings it down immediately, both sides will react with resistance or shock (and we know this would harm spirits, which Solas doesn't want), but if it happens slowly, there may come a point where neither side even notices the change happen? --

Now, back to the juicy stuff.

What made me want to write any of this?

These Lines from the final confrontation is Trespasser.

"I will save the elven people, even if it means this world must die."

"I would have entered the Fade, using the mark you now bear. Then I would have torn down the veil. As this world burned in the raw chaos, I would have restored the world of my time..."

"If they must die, I would rather they die in comfort."

"I will do what I must, but there is no benefit in allowing harm to come to innocents before it's necessary."

"I intend to restore them, doing so will most likely destroy your world."

I would like to highlight the amount of "most likely" "if" "would have"'s

The feeling I'm getting from these is that he's assuming a worst case scenario of his plans, but they aren't a certainty. It's also interesting to note that he's (throughout the game) more revealing to a negative approval Inky than a positive one, which I feel is very clear even in Trespasser. With the worst approval rating, he states that 'doing the thing will MOST LIKELY destroy the world' not that it will. But to a romanced Inky he will say.... nothing specific honestly, he has his generic dialogue about it, where he implies a lot about his death/destruction than he says will 100% happen. It's just... Interesting to me how he dances around that certainty.

A conclusion I draw from this is that Solas has plans to try and limit the damage, but ultimately he can't control other people's actions, or predict how exactly things will go.

My interpretation is that he's acknowledging his past failures, in implying a lack of certainty with his subtext. He's also trying to frame this situation in a way that will prepare people for the worst case scenario, because, given his track record-- that's precisely how his plans go. So his plans MIGHT NOT (and that's a definitive possibility) cause insane death/destruction, but perhaps this alludes to the significance of player choice throughout the games (and in Dreadwolf?), and how they impact the road ahead. Perhaps not giving that elf in the Denerim alienage in Origins money will ripple effect of messing with Solas' plans? Have you doomed the world by killing or not killing the Forbidden Ones? (I jest! ... Or do I?)

That's... it, I guess. Just some thoughts to through out into the void.

[side-effect-alien]

For the introject ask game: 2, 3, 6, 10, 13

2: Are you comfortable talking about your source?

Yeah! My source is probably the body's favorite show so I love talking about it!! :)

3: What's your favorite thing about your source?

Probably just how good the storyline was and all the characters! Ik I'm biased but collectively Leo is our favorite in the show. We also just love how many iterations there are and how unique each of them are! We're really excited to watch Rise next (and also slightly scared to)

6: Is there someone specific you're looking for or would like to interact with?

Honestly, just my dad or any of my uncles would be great! My system has no internal communication so I can't talk to anyone within my own system :( I've also never met my grandfather, so that would be cool too!! (Btw this includes other iterations, not just 2012 TMNT!! Leo and I both love interacting with sourcemates)

10: What do you have in common with your source?

Well that's kinda hard to answer since.. I don't exist in my source at all! So unfortunately I don't really have anything to compare myself to! Closest thing I could compare myself to is Leo as I split off of our system's fictive of him. In which that case the most common thing I have with (canon) Leo is probably our system's knife collection

13: Favorite memories?

This is gonna be a long one, so I'm putting it under the read more!

Well, while I don't have source memories, my favorite memories from fronting in the system is probably from the night I was created. I was confused and didn't know who I was. I was worried I was faking it and was feeling lots of self-doubt. Luckily, my dad's (Leo's) friends were staying the night at the same time I split so they were there to help assist me. They saw it happen and were giving us our space and comforting us through it

It was a very disorienting time. Dad had been disassociating a bit throughout the day due to high stress and anger (worse than any of us had ever seen in the past) and I guess eventually it just became too much for our system. Our friends noticed something was off and we weren't really able to speak much due to what was happening. We just gave a short response like ".....I think I'm disassociating..." and curled up in on ourselves. After awhile it finally ended and I was able to tell something felt... off... My- well- being felt different than dad's

As I was pretty much just born, I didn't know anything about myself at the time. My gender, name, what I looked like or even what species I was. To help ground me and give me a sense of identity our friends gave me a temporary name to go by and helped calm my anxieties. (Now I call them my moms as a half-joke!) They even confirmed that they could tell something about me seemed much different about how I acted and my personality than Leo, who was just previously fronting

Once I calmed down and the disassociation started to fade a bit, I started off with trying to just draw myself. Not even thinking about it, just letting my pen flow on it's own and see where it takes me. That resulted in this drawing right here!

This partially led to my theory that I was split off of Leo. I still felt like I was a turtle, I still felt connected to TMNT 2012. But, I didn't feel like him, despite feeling like I shared his consciousness and memories. Something was just wrong. Sometimes this could just be a case of a headmate disassociating, but the feeling never went away. I even tried to post on his blog as him, but it just didn't feel right. Sometimes I still hijack it, but never actually pretend to be him. I always make it clear that it's me posting. I always feel a need to make a distinction

As time has gone on I've slowly begun to learn more and more about myself and the differences between us. Sometimes it gets hard to tell which of us is fronting since we feel somewhat similar, but I'm beginning to tell what makes us unique. I think this connection between me and him is what made me see him as a father figure. His anger, his stress, it's what caused us to split. And when we did, I still ended up being similar to him and taking his memories. I don't know if he'll see me as his kid or not, but I see him as my dad. I may only technically be 4 days old, but there's so much I've learned about myself already and more I'm excited to learn!

[midgardianweasley]

Your grace! Bless us with a Natasha x reader where the team is invited to a wedding by a close friend of Tony’s. Then when the bridal bouquet is thrown, the bride throws it too hard where reader accidentally catches it and the team is just going “Oooooh!” And reader is like “I’m not even in a relationship!” But the team know in secret that reader and Natasha have feelings for each other but are too dumb to know. Just funniness and fluff! 🥰😍 (Your writing is brilliant btw!)

I loved this request!! I hope i did it justice <3

it’s a wedding thing

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

^idk Nat, you tell me^

Summary: When the Avengers get invited to a close friend of Tony's wedding, what hidden feelings will surface? What relationships will bloom? Who will be the next bride?

Warnings: none!

word count: 4.1k

Message/ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

requests are open loves

“Alright gang, this one’s for all of us, we all listening?”

A cluster of ‘yes’ ‘go on’ ‘come on Tony’ filled the room, everyone eager to hear what the fancy envelope held inside. It was amusing to watch Tony take advantage of everyone’s excitement, slowly peeling the envelope, gasping when he pulled the letter out of the casing slightly, not letting anyone else see what was written on it.

You, Natasha and Wanda all seemed to share a look of amusement at the dramatics and the almost visible frustration coming off of everyone. It was like watching children try to wait patiently for sweets in a shop, almost completely off of their seats. It wasn’t until Tony noticed that Pepper was giving him a warning look, that he, begrudgingly, hurried up and announced what was written on the letter.

“Wow. Caleb’s getting married.” He spoke, eyebrows raised in surprise. “And he’s invited the team.”

“Well, I’m not going.” A voice spoke from the corner of the room, clearly un-amused by what was currently going on.

“Luckily for you, I don’t see ‘reindeer games’ anywhere on the invitation. So you’re off the hook.” He replied with a tight lipped smile, Thor had been visiting recently to see Jane and pay the avengers a visit and wanted to bring Loki to meet her.

‘A pleasant trip’ Thor said.

‘A living hell’ Tony corrected.

It got a laugh out of the team though. Nat and I especially. We’d spent the last couple of nights in each other’s bedrooms, making a list about our favourite moments through the day where Tony and Loki clashed, making stupid insults towards the other. I think it’s safe to say that we went through multiple bags of popcorn over the nights, though you were both thankful it was there, it was the only thing muffling the laughter, if it hadn't, you’re almost certain the entire compound would have woken up at the sound of our laughter.

You nudged Natasha’s side gently, the bicker between the two men still continuing.

“Hey, Nat.” She turned and tilted her head questioningly.

“So we know how a physical fight between those two worked out. But, if they had to compete in a rap battle, who do you think would win?”

Her face immediately lit up, eyes sparkling which only enhanced their beauty, you could almost feel the cogs turning in her head, trying to go through every logical option.

“Well. Loki seems pretty well spoken, so vocabulary wise, I think he’d be strong. But Tony is sarcastic which can help with quick quips. But then again, Loki-”

“Hey lovebirds, Romanoff, Y/L/N” Tony clicked his fingers, earning himself a pair of eyerolls at the term he’d used. “Anything you wanna share with the team, or can we move on?”

“Actually-”

“Overridden. Moving on.”

You looked towards Natasha, snickering slightly at how blunt he’s being, Loki having found his way under his skin again. A part of you felt bad for the man, but that feeling is soon replaced by amusement. It was obvious Nat felt the same way, her sharing the same expression as you, although, you could hide yours much better. She had to physically put her hand over her mouth in the hopes the man wouldn’t notice her.

“So, the wedding is next week, a little short notice but when do we ever have enough notice, who’s in?”

Looking around the room, there were a handful of nods, each looking to see who else was going to go. You looked towards Nat again to see if she was planning on attending, only to find her already staring at you.

“So Y/L/N, up for a wedding?”

“It would be a nice change of pace. Are you going?”

“Only if you are” You blushed slightly at the response.

“Better get your nicest dress on Romanoff.” You winked, her turn to blush and focus back on what the rest of the group was saying.

“It’s probably easy if I list couples first on the RSVP and then the singles.” Tony took a glance around the table, mentally taking note of those who had shown signs of agreement. “So there’ll be Wanda and Vision, Legolas and his wife, Romanoff and Y/L/N, Thor and Jane-” You felt your face morph into one of confusion.

“Woah woah, Tony, back up, what did you say?”

“Thor and Jane, they’re-”

“Before that.”

“I’ve said this before Y/N, Legolas isn’t actually real. I meant Clint.”

“Very funny.” He held a proud smirk. “Romanoff and I aren’t a couple”

You wish.

“That’s not what Rogers said when he saw you both cuddling up on the sofa last night.” Before you had a chance to look in Steve’s direction, you could practically feel the daggers Nat was sending him, making his face cringe slightly and his back straighten.

“That’s what Rogers said, is it?” She spoke, tilting her head in question. You knew she was partly joking, but you’d still decided to intervene before anyone lost any limbs.

“My head fell onto her shoulder when I dozed off during our movie. It wasn’t ‘cuddling’ , thank you very much.” You laughed, internally wishing that Steve’s words were true.

“See? So cut it out.” Steve put his hands up in surrender, despite having a cheeky grin on his face.

“Okay okay. Fine!” The billionaire said, writing something on the envelope. “I’ll just put ‘couple pending’” He muttered

“Stark!”

__________________________

You and the girls had just come back from dress shopping, all three of you had spent the whole day in and out of different shops, hours in dressing rooms and your voices were almost completely gone with how often you were telling each other, ‘that looks stunning’ ‘that’s the one!’ and the most common one by the end of the trip; ‘please just pick a dress so we can go home and nap’. That one was from our very own black widow, her patience wore a little thin after 8 hours of staring at dresses.

You had gone through all the colours and styles while you were out, ranging from classy jumpsuits to figure hugging dresses that felt like a second skin. Wanda and Natasha had chosen their dresses and were eager to find you one, and what a mission that was.

“I promise you, we’re not going home until we find this dress, okay?”

“Wanda’s right. We’ll stay out until they all shut if we have to. But, let’s make that a last resort.” Natasha eyed you both warily.

You’d been walking around for hours now. Each dress you tried on had potential, but there was always something that didn’t sit right with you. It was either too baggy, too tight, the cut wasn’t appealing, the length wasn’t ideal, it was starting to feel hopeless. You’d even suggested just going in your pyjamas, but Wanda’s death glare had made it clear that wasn’t an option.

You and Natasha were both dragging your feet, Wanda still having a slight spring in her step as you walked into the final shop and picking up a couple of dresses before then going into the dressing room to try them on.

The first two were okay, but you weren’t a fan. Then there was the third one. The third one was a gorgeous Y/F/C dress that fell just past your knees, it had thin straps and the skirt was simple and loose so that when you spun around in it, you felt like a princess. You looked in the mirror and you adored the reflection, you still wanted the others opinions though, though you didn’t doubt that they’d feel the same way.

Pulling the curtain back and gaining their attention from where they were looking elsewhere, you smiled when you saw their reaction, more specifically, Natasha’s. Wanda was complimentary, walking up and feeling the fabric, gushing about how beautiful you looked, but you barely heard it, too focused on the redhead sitting in front of you, her eyes glazed over and her jaw almost on the floor, completely zoned out on you.

“This dress is it, Y/N, you have to get it! Nat? What do you think?” Her head shook, bringing herself back to reality and briefly meeting your eyes, only to quickly dart between You, Wanda and your dress in an attempt to compose herself.

“Yeah, I mean, wow, you look- wow.” Her hands flailed in your direction. You’d knocked the assassin speechless. Wanda rolled her eyes playfully at the interaction. She’d known about you and Nat’s feelings for each other for a month or two now, silently cursing the both of you when there was an opportunity to confess, yet never did. It was obvious to the rest of the team, why were neither of you picking up on it?

Keeping quiet, she ushered you back into the changing room, much to Natasha’s relief, both because she wanted to head back to the compound and she wasn’t sure how much longer she would’ve lasted seeing you standing there looking literally flawless. She always thought you looked amazing, but there was something about the way you looked in front of her just then that made her brain feel like a haze.

It was pretty safe to say,

You bought the dress.

Collapsing on your bed, dropping your bags to the side and letting out a loud sigh, you heard your door shut and someone fall into the chair by the window. You already knew who it was.

“I’m exhausted.” The woman groaned, rubbing her hands up and down her face to attempt to physically remove the tiredness from her body.

“Sorry for dragging you around for so long, I just-”

“Hey, no, don’t apologise for that. We all said we’d find the perfect dress, and it was worth the wait.” Heat rose to your cheeks at her words.

“You really think I looked good?”

Natasha could sense your underlying tone of doubt, unsure as to why you would doubt her opinion, she’d always been honest with you. Nonetheless, she heaved herself out of her seat and made her way to the end of the bed, kneeling down so that your now sat up figure could look down into her eyes, with her hands on each side of your face to focus you on her and her alone.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, okay? You looked incredible and I'm sure you’ll look even better at this wedding on Saturday, if that’s even possible.” You let out a small chuckle at her words as a smile made its way onto her face.

“You’ll be the prettiest one there.”

“Better not tell the Bride you said that, Nat.” She laughed, looking down for only a few seconds before looking at you again.

“We’ll make that our secret.” You nodded in silent agreement, grateful that she’d made you feel so reassured.

“Thank you, Tasha.”

“You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.” She replied.

You were so lost in her words, you hadn’t realised how close her face had gotten to yours, and how her eyes swapped between your eyes and your lips. You didn’t realise how she subconsciously had kept edging towards you, hands trembling a little with every inch closer she gets.

She wanted to kiss you. Every nerve in her body was almost electrified with the temptation to just move her lips over yours and become one. Her pulse raced, almost to prepare her for doing so. Which is why she wanted to kick herself with a pair of her highest heels when she uttered her next words.

“We should get some sleep.”

You broke out of your trance, jumping backwards slightly when noticing limited space between you both. You awkwardly coughed as she stood, heading back over to her chair to grab her bag and return to her room.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Big today, rest is probably a good idea.” You both nodded, she was already one foot out of the door when she gave you a small ‘goodnight’ and left, not waiting to hear you say it back.

Just like you hadn’t realised her actions early, you were oblivious to her hitting her head off of the wall in the corridor just outside of your room, wondering why she’d backed away. Where was Thor’s hammer when you needed to knock some sense into yourself? She thought before dragging herself back to her room where she would fall asleep, unable to get you out of her head.

_________________________

“Right! Headcount before we go in! And I want us all on our best behaviour Avengers, this is a wedding” Steve had completely lost you after ‘Headcount’. Not only are most of you fully grown adults, sorry Peter, but he seems to be oblivious to the fact that some of you were wearing high heels, and patience in high heels had an expiry date.

“Y’know, if he doesn’t let us in soon, I’m not afraid to threaten him with his own shield.” You heard a whisper just behind your ear, smirking at the comment.

“I’ll join you.” You answered, Bruce and Clint sharing a knowing look from afar when watching the two of you have your own quiet conversation, though short lived when they saw Natasha’s head move in their direction, their gaze coming to a halt so as to avoid any conflict with their teammate.

You guys could try to hide it all you want, but your entire team knows better than that, they just had to wait it out until you both finally admitted it to the other.

______________________

You and the Avenger’s were currently sitting at a guest table, now in the reception part of the evening. The ceremony was beautiful, the bride wore a crisp white ball gown with her makeup and hair done to perfection, the groom looking like a prince in his black tux and a look full of adoration towards his wife to be painted on his face.

Their looks weren’t the best part of it though. The clothes and the accessories were lovely, of course. But all you could focus on was the love shared between them as they shared their vows telling the other how they believed they were each other's soulmate, and that they promised to always be the other’s rock. You’d found yourself with tears in your eyes, barely able to appreciate the sight with how blurry your vision was now. They finally fell when they said their ‘I do’s’, feeling only happiness for the newlyweds.

Although marriage hadn’t been something you always thought about, you’d hoped that you would meet your special someone and settle down, retire from the missions, the battles, the superhero lifestyle and just be with your soulmate for the rest of your days.

Despite not being a couple, whenever you thought of the person you wanted to spend the rest of your time with, there was only one person that came to mind. And she stood right in front of you throughout the ceremony, comforting a sobbing demi-god while he was also trying to explain to Vision why he was in floods of tears.

Music filled the room, upbeat, but calm enough for the couples on the dancefloor to sway gently to the beat, soft lights occasionally shining on them as they danced, the bride and groom being one of them. You smiled gently at the sight, feeling dreadfully single with all of the love in the room, but grateful that you could see so many people look so content and in love with their significant other.

An elbow could suddenly be felt in your side, pulling you from your thoughts to instead be met with gorgeous green eyes and a bold red smirk.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She leaned in, curiosity clouding her mind.

“Nothing much up there really.” You glanced back at the dance floor quickly. “I’m just happy to see everyone so happy.”

Natasha followed your direction of where you were looking, an idea soon popped into her head. She was going to ask you to dance.

Her mouth opened to speak, but as if it was done on purpose, a ‘screech’ echoed in the ballroom, catching everyone’s attention, including taking yours away from hers.

“We’re taking a break from dancing for a minute folks, It’s time for the bride to throw the bouquet!” He announced, soon followed by shrieks and the sound of feet padding on the wooden floor, women all gathering in a small bunch, huddled together as if their lives depended on it as the men all returned to their seats, shaking their heads at the commotion.

Not really wanting to take part, you turned back around again.

“Sorry Nat, what were you-”

“Y/N!” Your head fell as you were interrupted by a very excited Maximoff.

“Y/N! C’mon! We need to do the bouquet toss!” She started to pull you up, refusing to listen to any excuse you could possibly conjure up to avoid having to take part.

Giving the team a desperate look, hoping someone will help you escape, you’re instead met with encouraging and amused faces, including Natasha’s a clear indication that not a single person was going to help you. Traitor’s.

With a half serious eye roll, you quickly grabbed your glass of champagne and kicked off your heels, heading towards the group of screaming women basically crawling on top of one another when the bride was barely up on the ‘stage’ yet. You let Wanda wander off into the group but remained towards the back, sipping from your glass and sending the occasional sneaky glare towards your table.

“You guys ready?” The bride yelled, only to be met with more screams and a faint chorus of ‘yes’ heard among it as they all threw their hands higher. Wanda saw you were just stood there, and subtly used her powers to raise your hand, earning loud laughs and cheers from the Avengers, taking great joy in the scene unfolding in front of them.

“Okay! Three...Two..”

You kept your arm up, pretending to be enthusiastic about the toss, when you realistically didn’t really expect much from these kinds of traditions. What you definitely hadn’t expected, was for your figure to stumble backwards as you suddenly felt petals and stems in your palm, a faint feeling of silk brushing against your thumb as your fingers wrapped around the item.

You almost spat out your champagne, eyes widening in shock as you looked to see the arrangement of flowers in your grip, looking up to see women both disheartened and elated at your catch. How the hell had you managed that? You were literally the farthest person away, and on your own! You must’ve been set up. Okay, a bit of a stretch, but still!

“WOOO, Y/L/N IS GETTING MARRIED!”

“WHO’S THE LUCKY SOMEONE Y/N?”

“Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS, Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS.”

The bride noticeably laughed at your friend’s cheers, she hadn’t meant to throw it that far back, her arm just kinda went full force, but seeing the reaction it caused, she didn’t regret it. She didn’t even regret it when she saw the look of embarrassment on your face, as it was soon replaced with a contagious beam as you walked towards them again, a very proud Wanda in tow,

“Guys! Guys! I’m not even in a relationship! I highly doubt i’m the next woman in this room to get married.” You joked

“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure.” Sam laughed “Romanoff, you got an engagement ring handy?” He yelped as a peanut from the centre of the table was thrown at him, and of course with being a trained assassin, Nat had hit him right in the centre of his forehead, earning a dramatic noise of pain to leave his mouth.

These guys will be the death of you.

__________________

After some teasing, the room had filled once again with happy couples dancing, now including some you were very familiar with, one being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and his CEO wife, and another being an Asgardian with his Midgardian girlfriend, both gently moving side to side in time with the music.

Letting out a content sigh, you were met once again with the flowers, however, this time, they weren’t on the table, but were held by a gorgeous woman in a flawless navy dress.

“So, I know we aren’t a couple, but, would the future bride like to dance?” She asked, you let out a content sigh, pretending to think it over for a minute.

“Y’know what, I would, thank you for your kind offer.” You took the hand she’d held out for you and led you to the dance floor. While her hands went to your waist, gently tugging you closer, your arms went around her neck, hands interlocking behind her as you, like the others you’d admired all even, swayed.

You’re unsure when it happened, much like a time before, but your head had made its way onto your dance partner's shoulder, your body following suit as it left no room between the two of you, though you weren’t complaining. Neither was the fellow Avenger.

It was peaceful for a period of time, the only sound being the slow music and a quiet chatter of people across the floor. It wasn’t long before you heard the red head above you whisper in your ear once again.

“You really do look amazing tonight, Y/N.” You raised your head so it was directly opposite hers, sending her an appreciative gaze.

“That future fiance of yours is lucky.” She winked.

“Hilarious” You scoffed, fully aware of her humorous tone.

“I know, sometimes I amaze even myself with my jokes.”

“Well, it really is funny, because I honestly don’t see myself getting married anytime soon.” Nat’s eyebrows raised in what could almost be described as confusion.

“And why is that? Do you not want to get married?” Her hands started grazing up and down your waist, like she was comforting you, but really she was bracing herself for what was incoming.

“No, no it’s not that. I just..”

“Just?”

“I don’t think the person i’m interested in, is necessarily interested in me.” Her heart dropped. So you did have someone of interest. She pushed the sinking feeling to the side quickly so that she could respond.

“Right, and why is that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them make a move. I thought it’d be obvious. I think it has been to some others.” Your eyes wandered, lingering for longer than what was probably appropriate, on Natasha’s plump lips, wondering if you’d ever get to experience what it’d be like to feel them on yours.

This time, Natasha didn’t miss it. She would’ve blamed it on alcohol, saying that she must’ve just imagined it, but she had only consumed a few drops all evening, being too entranced by you didn’t leave much room for hydration. She hadn’t been more thankful, because it made a light bulb go off in her head as the pieces came together in her head of who you were referring to. She didn’t make a move the other night. It was obvious to the team. How could she have been so blind?

You didn’t see it coming, even when your chin was held in her grasp and you saw her face leaning in towards yours, the reality only hitting you when you finally felt what you’d been wanting to feel for the last months, right now. Your surroundings had just disappeared, the only thing that was running through your head, was the way her lips were moving against yours, and the way her lips tasted faintly of vanilla, and how she smelled like her floral perfume she wore for special occasions.

Whooping and cheering brought you both back from your bubble with just the two of you, your head falling just below her chin, her hand stroking your back as you could feel her chuckle bubbling where your head lay. Well, hid. Her arms had muffled their comments, but you had an idea of what they were, probably a mixture of ‘finally!’, ‘i knew it!’ and you’re almost certain you heard a ‘You owe me 20 bucks.’, that one making you shake your head.

Remaining in your hiding spot, that wasn’t very well hidden, but was keeping your bright red face to yourself, a pair of familiar lips lingered right beside your head.

“So, about that bouquet..”

You weren’t getting married, but by the end of the night, you definitely didn’t feel so dreadfully single as you had earlier.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

[palmofafreezinghand]

Hi! It's me bothering u again. But you recently said "it's important to note that these two's 'fights' are usually decades apart, they're definitely weird and weird", so I'm wondering if you have a specific idea of ​​what the house feels like when they fight? or what are the "kids'" thoughts and feelings about the fight or argument? because, c'mon, they're their parents

thank u for the firts answer about "Safe landing". Btw, i love all your work

First off, never a bother. Questions like this challenge me to look at these dynamics in ways I often haven’t before and force me to enrich my own writing by doing so. I also feel honored that anyone wants to hear my thoughts so no never a bother.

The referenced post.

Also I want to clarify when I say they don’t fight a lot, I don’t mean they don’t disagree, they do… a lot. (I am, once again, deferring to @gisellelx who put this thought much better than I could here).

But of course the entire family would have reactions to both Carlisle and Esme's fights and disagreements.

Undercut for brief references to domestic abuse and the after effects of such.

Fights in my mind are different from disagreements. Which is why I said fights are rare and weird. Trying to explain this is really convincing me to actually sit down and write that analysis but in the meantime I’ll annoyingly quote previous writing on how I think Esme and Carlisle fight weird:

“In their marriage they had to learn how to fight; to be honest they were still learning how to fight. Carlisle was, of course, terrified any sort of disagreement would make him her ex-husband. He’d rather die of discontent than ever make himself comparable to that man, to ever make her feel unsafe in their union...

What he hadn’t imagined was she was the one who had to refrain from becoming someone from her first marriage. She never hit him, she never would, in truth she was never anything more than angry. It was such a stark juxtaposition from the woman she typically was.

But in disagreements was the only moment Carlisle ever got a glimpse of the wife Charles had sculpted himself. Not the placating pushover who blamed herself for his abuse. The woman who had grown from a girl who challenged authority, pushed boundaries, and was stubborn as a goat and more than proud of it. The woman who emerged in their fights explained so much. It was ingrained in her psyche, disagreements were vicious wars. Defensives raised at the slightest provocations. A generally disinterested tone that triggered his own defenses.”

Now what does the rest of the family think of Esme and Carlisle's disagreements and fights?

Most of the time they’re genuinely not a witness for actual fights. Carlisle and Esme both respect each other to try to confront their bigger fundamental disagreements in private, always trying to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Key word try.

Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. Like during Bella’s pregnancy the entire house, sans Bella’s human ears, heard Esme whisper through clenched teeth, “a word, Carlisle.” And they heard Carlisle’s even harsher, “I have many for you at this moment.” No matter how quiet the couple tried to be, their ‘children’ could hear a few jabs.

They heard the end of the fight in particular. Esme’s light out of place laugh, Carlisle’s scathing ‘you find this humorous?’ Then Esme’s eerily calm, “I’m just realizing all these years you’ve been right. I could never see why you saw yourself like that. But now I think I finally understand.” That was the end of the fight, and the end of the discussion, those words haunt Carlisle pretty much every day and she only partially regrets them.

The kids have gotten both simultaneously very good and very bad at telling when a disagreement is going to happen.

Carlisle and Esme have (at least in my head) a very specific brand of banter that can turn on a dime very easily and unintentionally. They’ve both had to learn how to communicate with the other when they’re not in the mood to hear jokes about their age or that they need flat out support without a sarcastic retort. The kids however don’t really understand this line and often misinterpret things Carlisle and Esme find harmless as passive aggressive and vice versa. Which results in misplaced protectiveness or insulting laughs.

But there are tell-tale signs that they all kind of recognize as Carlisle and Esme both refusing to acknowledge their discontent, which just comes with living with people that long. All the kids know if Esme is acting uncharacteristically nice something is wrong. One time in the 60’s Jasper and Emmett broke through an eight foot tall antique window and she did not blink an eye. “It’s just glass,” was all she said with a tight smile. She stops advocating for her opinions when upset, instead blindly agreeing to keep the peace. Carlisle lies about hunting when he’s mad, he’ll say he went after work despite his eyes being pitch black. He stops listening to others. “We’re moving, I apologize you’re frustrated with that decision but it is happening.” He works even more than usual, which is difficult to do.

A lot of the time they subconsciously try to meditate when they see these signs. If Carlisle’s working a lot one of them, most likely Emmett, will lightheartedly point it out. If Esme’s been absurdly withdrawn someone, most likely Emmett, will point it out and try to draw her back into reality.

But the three who consciously try to mediate, even during fights, are Edward, Alice, and Jasper (to an extent). Edward is really the one who cares. From 1921-1927 he was unintentionally the middle man. Carlisle and Esme didn’t try to triangulate him in. He felt they deserved to be happy and in Edward logic he could ensure that by making sure they never fought. It didn’t work, it just meant in 1927 when there was an Edward shaped hole in their relationship they fought and boy did they fight after he left. By the time he rejoins the scene they’ve learned how to communicate with each other and he often is a hindrance in their fights. This does not stop him from stepping in. Alice feels responsible for trying to stop things before they happen, which usually means disagreements turn into fights on a later day because resentment has risen. Jasper tries to appease emotions, they’re both passionate people so he feels good when they’re happy, and when they’re angry it is palpable. These attempts again don't work because conflict is healthy, and some would argue crucial for a relationship to work.

Rosalie is pretty much always on Esme’s side in fights. No matter what. Even if, objectively, Esme is being stupid, Esme is one of the two people Rosalie will play ‘Devil’s Advocate’ for. I’ve joked Rosalie would kill Carlisle if Esme asked, or pack up a bag and drive the getaway car, but I mean it.

At first they were really hesitant to even disagree in front of Rosalie, which resulted in them having their second or fourth biggest fight ever, depending on who you ask. But Rosalie assumed the worst when they both returned on the verge of impossible tears. When Esme refused to really speak about Charles or Royce for weeks afterward, that was practically confirmation of the theory Rosalie had built up in her mind. She had avoided speaking to Carlisle directly at the point but she managed to get Edward and Esme out of the house somehow and then she let him have it. She gave Carlisle forty-two seconds, yes she counted, to explain himself, and he had never spoken so fast. He reveals how far back Rosalie has set back Esme, how he is not the one hurting her, ect.

From then on they don’t shy away from disagreeing in front of Rosalie. She needed an example of a “healthy” relationship, and assurance that Carlisle was not abusing his wife.

Edward 99.5% of the time is on Carlisle’s side. (Unless Esme’s safety is in question then that’s a different story and the Mama’s boy who killed her first husband jumps out).

Emmett doesn’t really care all that much. He respects how they can easily disagree but makes jokes to Carlisle about missing out on “makeup-sex” which resulting in Carlisle desperately attempting to hold his tongue, and if Edward is in earshot wishing for death.

Alice and Jasper try to help out a little with their gifts but don’t objectively care all that much besides trying to “keep the peace.”

Bella on the other hand needs to see resolution. Her narration is very insecure, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I imagine it’s very possible Renee had more than one boyfriend introduced as a permanent fixture only to be gone a week later. But even if not, the stories of Charlie and Renee’s relationship wouldn’t give Bella the best confidence. So in canon it’s no wonder she idealizes and romanticizes some of the Cullens and that “perfect” family they present themselves as (or Edward idealizes and the narrative sticks but I digress). When she hears Carlisle and Esme openly disagree for the first time she interprets it as the end. The next time she saw them they were acting completely normal but she was still suspicious.

A few weeks later she’s in Carlisle’s study and quietly says she’s glad he got back together, and then something about how she wouldn’t want him to go through the pain she saw her parents go through.

After a while he finally looks up from his laptop. “My apologies, I missed who was getting a divorce?”

“You and Esme… but you two are back together, which is good. I'm so happy for you. Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry I brought it up. That was stupid, forget I said anything,” Bella stammers.

“Es!” Carlisle shouts across the house. She’s in the study in a minute. “Did you know we're leaving each other?”

“I don’t have it on my calendar,” Esme said. “But can we do it next week? It works a lot better for me.”

“Isabella thought we had decided to go separate ways.”

Esme laughs but they’re both looking at Bella for an explanation. “You guys had that fight in the kitchen, and Esme you said that you were “done with the conversation and couldn’t keep having this fight for the rest of your life.””

Esme and Carlisle were matching frowns for a half minute until Esme understood. “The fight about him putting my Tupperware in the dishwasher?”

“They had red lids, you have said for decades the pink ones can go in the dishwasher. Red is in the same color family as pink, you the artist should know that.”

“The pink ones are Pyrex, completely different things, and they don’t go in that thing either.”

That’s when Bella realizes while they’re “fighting” they’re not mad, they’re both smiling, Esme’s arm is casually wrapped around her husband’s shoulders, he had angled his desk chair as she walked up so she could stand by him. She feels stupid for even worrying, of course they wouldn’t end an almost century long marriage over dish-ware but she was afraid, and that fear was real.

Carlisle and Esme recognize this pretty instantaneously and share a quick look of ‘we don’t know how we found another wildly traumatized teen but here we go.’

All that to say they make a point around Bella of either reemphasizing commitment or reconciling all together, even if they’ve talked it over in private they’ll fake a public truce. Sometimes that emphasis looks weird to everyone else; like Carlisle being welcomed home with an “I’m mad at you.”

And he’ll respond with a calm “Sounds good, we have dinner plans with Dr. Walters and her wife on Friday.”

“Great, what are we bringing?” Esme will ask, and then they’ll talk about why she’s mad at him.

In short: Each kid has a different reaction, some really mind and others not so much.

Thank you so much for asking, and for the very kind words. 💖💖

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[gureishi]

dude okay so this is kinda specific and also probably not very original or anything ekdbsisj

but-

how do you think saeyoung would react/feel if (during the apartment days), his MC started crying (or almost) after that one (or maybe two? cant remember, and im only halfway through day 7 on the current playthroygh) time where he just... got really mad n yelled... hhh his expression was scary,,

getting yelled out is already a lil agitating for me... and I know i would be automatically already a lil sensitive cos i would be nervous from the last few days (rsd would nerf me) -- meaning i would be a lil more emotional/easily affected than usual ;;;

on top of that ive never had a guy yell at me djvdjdj so it would be a lil scary, i wont lie.

wanna clarify: the crying wouldn't be on purpose lol, i would definitely try n hide it. easier said then done though... OTL

jsvfsh this is so long n specific n kinda personal to me?? im sure im not alone regarding the general idea though. anyways jdbdjs sorry lolol-

and im jus asking for your thoughts or maybe HCs? whichever you feel works best!

also sorry if we've talked about this before i have a bad memory-

[417]

btw ur amazing love u

Love you too dear Four! And oh boy do I relate to this. I do not handle being yelled at well and would, without a doubt, cry multiple times in this scenario (/ω＼)

Saeyoung reacting to his MC crying in the apartment 

He’s never felt like this before. He sort of thought he’d been through it all: wrung every last bit of love and fear and desperation out of himself till there was nothing left but the things that make him useful: his clever hands and his brilliant (weary) mind.

When you speak to him so tenderly—hovering just at the edge of his space, eyes full of something he can’t (won’t) identify—he feels like his heart is too big for his body, and he can’t think straight, or see straight, or make his miserable mind form the words he needs to say to you.

He’s angry because he can’t understand why you’re gazing at him that way, like you’d do anything to ease the pounding in his skull; he’s angry because none of his words are getting through to you, and he doesn’t know how to make you understand that he’s not the person he made you believe he was. And he is angry because he knows, without a doubt, that he’s in far too deep already, and that if anything were to happen to you now, his desperate heart would break for good.

He knows how to lie (it is, in his opinion, the only real skill he has)—so he does. He tells you he wishes you’d leave him alone—tells you to stay away—tells you he feels nothing for you at all. He raises his voice (but oh, as the stinging words tear from his throat his heart wants to crawl out of his skin and throw itself into your arms).

You say nothing. Good, he thinks; and he forces his attention back to his screen (eyes blurry, hands shaking). He hears the sound of your footsteps as you retreat to the farthest corner of the apartment, and something inside him seems to go with you—since the very first time he heard your voice, he thinks, a part of him is always with you. With every day that goes by, that part gets bigger: soon, there will be nothing left of him at all.

With his eyes trained on the screen (and most of his attention on you), he hears the tiny sounds you’re making: shifting, he thinks at first, getting comfortable. Maybe even going to sleep.

But no: you are so quiet only somebody with senses that have been heightened from years of training (years of hiding, and fleeing, and fighting for his life) would hear. But there’s a whimper—a vague, almost indistinct sniffling.

Oh no. Oh god.

Oh god oh god oh god.

Years of agency training have taught him to turn his back on people who are begging, or whining, or crying—but he’s never been any good at it.

And this is you: and his scrambled mind races, his heart drumming so loud against his ribs he is sure you can hear it. He would, he thinks wildly, do absolutely anything in the world to never hear you make such a miserable sound again.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he stands. The room spins; he’s weak, and hungry, and angry, and scared; his stomach is in knots and the darkened room seems to tilt sideways around him. 

You don’t seem to have noticed that he’s moved; you’re hiding your face in your shirt, back turned to him—and you are still (so very still). He doesn’t remember how to breathe.

“Uh...” he says, and the sound echoes horribly in the dull, sparsely furnished room. You say nothing. He clears his throat, takes an unsteady step toward you. He’s not thinking rationally anymore—not thinking about scaring you off, or keeping you safe. All he wants is to see that look in your eyes again: that soft one, the one that makes his hands and feet feel too big and his skin seem to burn and his breath catch in his throat.

“Are, uh...are you okay?” he rasps. You’re still ignoring him, which is a first; your face is turned away, so he goes to your side, kneeling on the floor beside you. You sniffle. He feels like his heart is going to burst.

“Yeah,” you say—and unlike him, you are not such a good liar. Without meaning to, he reaches for you: finds his fingers (of their own accord) doing what they’ve been itching to do since the moment he first laid eyes on you. He touches your hair—brushing it off your face, tucking it behind you ear.

Your eyes, he thinks (fiercely, irrationally): he needs to see your eyes.

“Don’t believe you,” he says. With a sigh of exasperation, you turn to him: oh, and your eyes are blazing, red-rimmed. And he is the one who has done this to you—he is the monster who has made you suffer.

His mind seems to have driven itself into the ground. Suddenly, he can’t remember how to do anything at all.

But his body moves of its own accord, because his heart has always been eons ahead of his (brilliant and foolish) mind.

“Hey,” he finds himself murmuring, brushing your cheek with his rough fingertips (and he knows he shouldn’t, but now that he’s here, he is finding it almost impossible to resist). “I know,” he says, without even quite understanding what he means. “I know.”

You watch him; and there it is again—just for a moment, that softness deep in your eyes that sets him on fire.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words springing to his lips before his brain can get in his way. “I’m so, so...I didn’t mean to...I never...”

You shake your head, and your hair falls into your eyes again. He brushes it back, finding that there is nothing—nothing—in the world quite as wonderful as the feeling of your warm skin under his fingers.

“I get it,” you tell him. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I can’t...” He makes himself take a deep breath, and regrets it instantly as his senses are flooded by the warm, enticing scent of you. He feels you all around him now. “I didn’t mean it,” he says quietly. “Please. I can’t stand to see you making that face.”

You force a watery laugh, and the effort you are making for him is almost too much. His mind races. For a moment, he imagines how it would feel to wrap your small body in his arms—to press his lips to your temple and feel your heart beating against his skin.

“How’s this?” you say. You offer him a passable impression of a smile, and he wants to throw himself at your feet.

“Terrible,” he says. You laugh, and it sounds a tiny bit more believable this time. You are looking at him, and there it is again: that softening in your eyes that makes him think (just for a moment) that there could be a happy ending for him after all.

“I...” he starts. What? He can’t tell you how he feels—what he wants—what he is afraid of. Not here. Not now. Not yet. “Please,” he finds himself whispering. “Can you...just give me a little more time?”

You nod, and there is a strength in you that nearly knocks him off his feet.

“Yeah,” you say: and this time you sound like you mean it.

Against his will, he pushes himself up—makes his way back to his miserable little corner of the room. But he pauses—turns—and you are still waiting, still watching him. Of course you are.

“I’m gonna make it right,” he says, not quite meeting your eyes. Never, he thinks: he will never ever make you cry again.

“I believe you,” you say.

It is the first time anyone has ever told him this.

His heart shivers.

“I won’t let you down,” he says—promises. He means it with all his heart.

[aboveallarescuer]

Btw, I wonder if you ever thought about the Jaime/Cersei and Dany/Daario relationships paralleling eachother? I never see people talking about it but some of their quotes and scenes seem intentionally similar to me. + For example, how Daario and Jaime's (yes, Jaime Lannister is a toxic romantic partner, the fandom can stay mad) reaction to their respective marriage proposals are heavily linked with posession (more so than love).

First of all, Anon, I'm assuming you're the same person who sent me two asks, this one and another about Tyrion. Re: the latter ask, I basically agree with your comments and have nothing substantial to add, so I'm going to focus on answering this one.

So, yes, I had thought about similarities between Dany/Daario and Cersei/Jaime before, but I'm glad you sent me this ask because you made me think of more parallels and antiparallels. They are certainly worth discussing because they highlight different aspects of Dany's and Cersei's characters and make it clear, once again, that they are meant to be foils.

(I'm not going to add book quotes here because I'm tired, sorry... But you can ask for evidence in another ask if you find anything I say questionable)

Daario and Jaime are both hot-headed, arrogant warriors presented as alternatives to the husbands of the two queens (Hizdahr, Robert).

Both Dany and Cersei love these men instead of their husbands.

Both Daario and Jaime react angrily when they find out that Dany and Cersei are going to marry.

Both Daario and Jaime ask the queens to leave their husbands and to be with them instead, but they both deny their requests.

Both Daario and Jaime offer to kill their queens' husbands for them. Both Dany and Cersei imagine the two men following through with their threats at some point.

Dany ends her affair with Daario after she takes Hizdahr as her consort. Cersei doesn't end her affair with Jaime after marrying Robert (and she did nothing wrong in this particular situation).

Neither Dany nor Cersei hides their affairs well (though it's worth noting that Cersei is being more reckless in doing so because she was queen consort and her power derived from Robert, while Dany was queen regnant and, therefore, had power in her own right. Indeed, Dany taking Daario as her lover is compared to Lewyn Martell, a man, taking a paramour in Dorne. That certainly isn't how the Faith views Cersei's affair with Jaime. Also, as I said above, Dany's affair lasted while she was unmarried, while Cersei's happened while she was married).

Dany thinks she'll never have a child with Hizdahr because she believes she's infertile. Cersei thought she'd never have a child with Robert back when he was alive because she always took measures to prevent that from ever happening (and she definitely did nothing wrong here).

Dany idealizes her relationship with Daario way more than Cersei idealizes hers with Jaime. For instance, Dany says to herself that she would give up her crown for Daario if he ever asked her to do so, but she doubts he ever would because she assumes he loves her solely because of her power. Cersei never considers giving up her crown for Jaime (to be fair, I don't think Dany would've done that for Daario either). In this particular case, I actually think that Rhaegar is Cersei's Daario, because it's with Rhaegar that Cersei dreamed and still dreams of marrying and having his children and living a blissful life together (though, even in that fantasy, Cersei would still want to be queen, while Dany thinks she'd be content living a normal life alongside the man she loves without any power or luxury in the house with the red door). Daario and Rhaegar (rather than Jaime) are the men who bring out Dany's and Cersei's romantic sides (which makes sense because Cersei idealized Rhaegar back when she was a young girl like Dany). Rhaegar is the one that got away for Cersei, and I imagine Dany will have similar feelings about Daario in the future.

At some point during their reigns, both Dany and Cersei send Daario and Jaime away, but for opposite reasons: Dany does so because Daario advised her to kill her subjects and she's appaled by the suggestion; Cersei does so because Jaime advised her to cooperate with her subjects and she assumes that that means he is disrespecting her authority (which he does sometimes, but not always).

It's harder for Dany to be apart from Daario than it is for Cersei to be apart from Jaime. Dany immediately regrets her decision to send him away and even goes as far as to think that, because she had an indirect role in Hazzea's death for allowing Drogon to roam freely, she is a monster just like Daario (seriously, how can anyone think that book!Dany is arrogant???). Meanwhile, Cersei only comes to regret her decision to send Jaime away after she needs his help, specifically after the Faith arrests her and she has no reliable option to choose to fight for her life in a trial by combat.

Both Dany and Cersei spend most of their storylines away from these men. (I could be wrong, but I don't think GRRM had Daario out of the picture because he was supposedly bored with him like I've seen some BNFs or 'neutrals' argue... I do think that was a choice specifically made to strengthen the parallels between Dany and Cersei).

Both Daario and Jaime feel jealous of Dany's and Cersei's relationships with other men throughout AFFC/ADWD.

Daario returns with the Stormcrows when Dany recalls him even though it would have been beneficial to betray her and turn to Yunkai's side, especially since he already knew that the Second Sons had done that. Jaime doesn't return when Cersei asks him to go back... You could even say that he switches sides, in a way, by deciding to prioritize Brienne's request instead. This is part of a larger pattern: while most of Dany's people (including Daario) remain loyal to her by the end, almost all of Cersei's allies abandon her. While it's said that Dany managed to keep everyone (former slaves and former masters) together, Cersei destroyed the Lannister-Tyrell alliance due to her poor decisions.

ADWD Daenerys X ends with Dany thinking about how Daario wouldn't mind seeing her in such a messy state like how she is by the end of the chapter. AFFC Cersei X ends with Cersei hoping against hope that Jaime will return and win her trial by combat. Both expect to be reunited with and to be saved by their lovers at the end of these chapters.

Dany doesn't trust Daario, but she doesn't close herself off from him either, which is why she has the support of the Stormcrows. Cersei says she lost her trust in Jaime, but then, by the end, she is in such a dire situation that she desperately decides to put all her hope in him and trust him way too much (to a degree that even Qyburn finds concerning since he lost his hand). This is part of a larger pattern: while Dany is wary of some people, she knows that she should still take risks and make alliances. This attitude doesn't make her omniscient and she is not immune to making mistakes or to people (like Brown Ben) betraying her, sure. That being said, Dany still remains open-minded, cooperates with influential allies and makes a peace agreement that could have worked if the deal wasn't inherently false for prioritizing the privileges of the masters over the lives of the slaves and if her primary goal wasn't to protect the disenfranchised first and foremost. Meanwhile, Cersei thinks she should distrust everyone, which leads her to alienate potential allies that could have been useful and to be surrounded by people who claim to agree with her on everything, but who are neither experienced nor reliable. Then she creates plans that rely way too much on these very untrustworthy people, which is why they backfire: from the construction of the dromonds (which she relied on Aurane Waters, who turned his back on her) to the attempt on Bronn's life (which she relied on Balman Byrch, who turned his back on her) to the scheme to have Margaery and her cousins arrested (which she relied on Osney Kettleblack, who turned his back on her) to the decision to rearm the Faith Militant (which she relied on the High Sparrow, who turned his back on her) to her decision to trust that Jaime (who also turned his back on her) will return to fight for her life ... I'm sure there are more examples, but that's enough to illustrate my point. Cersei's thinking is too extreme, while Dany has a healthy distrust of others. As a result, Cersei makes hasty decisions and burns bridges unnecessarily, while Dany is able to make more carefully weighed decisions, as well as to create and maintain important alliances.

Finally, I think Dany and Daario's relationship is more positive than Cersei and Jaime's. Not only there's no verbal abuse or disrespect of sexual consent like how it happens with Cersei/Jaime, but Daario didn't switch sides to Yunkai, gave her good counsel (such as when he tells her to hold court and reminds her that her children need her) and genuinely cares about Dany, which we see from when he tells her not to get married time and again to when we contrast him with Osney. He is possessive and brags about sleeping with her on some occasions, yes, but I think it was @evilwomen who pointed out in one of our conversations that Dany doesn't feel bothered by any of that, which goes to show how much she loves him, since she's willing to forgive actions that would be considered insults for his sake.

So, once again, thanks for this ask, Anon, it encouraged me to think about connections that I hadn't considered before.

And you know, I said this before and will say it again... This is why I think Dany is the YMBQ... Not just because she clearly fits all the requirements, but because she and Cersei were way too carefully written to parallel and contrast each other (so much so that the author mentioned that in multiple interviews). You said you "never see people talking about" the parallels between Cersei/Jaime and Dany/Daario, but look at how much I managed to find off the top of my head (and I'm not even sure this is comprehensive, tbqh)??? Now imagine that happening to all of their casts of supporting characters and to all the political events and to pretty much every single aspect of their characterizations and storylines. Their parallels and antiparallels are really overwhelming, and it's why I decided to make gifs showing why they're foils.

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[rantingcrocodile]

i'd love to join your discord server and tried to!! but i (16 ongoing 17 soon) didn't realize it was adult-only until after i joined and read the rules. intially i thought maybe there was just an 18+ channel, okay cool, i can ignore that, but then after getting to the end of that rules channel it kinda dawned on me that it's a big deal. maybe the staff just aren't comfortable interacting with minors?? i dunno, but i am a little disappointed and confused as to why, because servers like that are hard to come by and that one in particular sounds like it'd be great for me since it's ran by such aggressive protectors against biphobia y'know??

anyway, i asked a member of staff in dms about this 3-4 days ago but i never got a response and am still waiting. figure i'll ask you now if that's okay. i'm not gonna get mad or argue at all btw, i respect the decision, it just kinda sucks lol :,)

I'm so sorry! The reason you'll be waiting on a response will be real life things!

That's also entirely my fault because I presume that everyone who comes to talk to me is an adult and I wrongly presumed with you, so I'm really sorry, that's my bad!

(For context, anyone can join the discord but everything aside from a lobby to wait for verification is kept locked down and private.)

As for why it's an adult-only server is down to a few different reasons.

Most importantly of all, minors need to be kept safe and protected at all times, and since I made the server, I do not want the personal responsibility of having to worry about anything that happens around the server when it comes to minors. Everyone in there is great and I sincerely doubt it would happen considering the people in there, but there's always the hypothetical possibility of, for example, bullying in DMs outside the server. If that happens between adults, then it's an adult problem that's solved by banning the adult behind it and the adults involved dealing with it. If that happened to a minor, then that suddenly becomes a much bigger deal that I would personally have to deal with, getting that minor support, questions about how I could let that happen even if something like that happened without any of my knowledge, etc because if I'd allowed minors in there in the first place, the bottom line is that it would be my responsibility. So no minors.

Aside from that, whenever minors are allowed into a space, then adults around them need to watch their tone and discussions and aren't free to discuss adult topics. That is entirely different to having specific NSFW channels, too. (Which we have, but they're separate, and "adult topics" do not mean "sexual topics.") I don't want to stifle those conversations and self-censor to make everything accessible to minors, or have adults not feel safe enough to share their stories etc because they're too worried about accidentally triggering a minor or exposing them to sensitive, painful topics that are still SFW.

I also personally believe that although there are a lot of minors who are completely comfortable and confident in their sexuality, there are other minors who end up being mistaken for different reasons (for example, a young lesbian who might have severe internalised homophobia who has tried to mitigate her same-sex attraction by telling herself that she's simply bisexual), and I don't want to end up adding to any pressure she's already putting herself under by accidentally reinforcing that, and simply allow her to mentally explore her own sexuality at her own pace, as opposed to the adults on the server who have been through that already and truly do know that they're simply bisexual, if that makes sense?

When you're young, it feels entirely unfair that adults exclude you from conversations. I remember feeling that way when I was your age because I told myself that I was mature, that I was smart, that I was basically an adult anyway, that I could easily be part of adult conversations and whenever I was excluded, it was a personal attack against me, because other minors might not have been able to handle it, but I could. But I just... couldn't. It's genuinely not a personal attack or any kind of, "You're not good enough," it's just that adults have more life experience thanks to nothing more than being alive longer, interacting with the world in a way that a minor can't, wanting to protect minors from anything inappropriate and making sure that absolutely everyone feels as safe and secure as possible.

I hope that makes sense? You are more than welcome to ask questions through here in public, though, and you're not being shoved into the cold to be abandoned because you're a minor. We still care, it just isn't a space that's right for you.