#which if u also want to read that msg me LOL

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

final workshop of my degree is happening today :)

[bsaka7]

on quasi fic hiatus getting into writing analytical ao3 comments

[yinyuedijun]

hii I’m the anon who requested for the bluebird post!

Im so sorry to hear about the discourse surrounding it, I had absolutely no idea. It’s definitely one of the best works out there. I appreciate it really so much. All my friends are tired of me talking about it so much and everytime I pass a can of spam in the grocery store, I stop and grieve.

I understand that you might feel burned out from all the discourse and hate (which I don’t understand why it exists in the first place?) but I just wanted to let you know if u ever decide to pick it up again, I’d be here waiting for quite literally forever. I read it almost half a year ago on ao3, so I suppose I can live off the crumbs.

I am just so fascinated and impressed by how you write the whole deal about the aftermath of the Gun devil attack. The gymnasium, the rations, the orphanage, the caseworkers?? It is so detail that it quite literally blows my mind. I genuinely can’t put in words how much I love it.

So please if you do ever end up working on it, please let me know. In the meantime, I’ll be waiting and refreshing your blog ever so often for a silver of hope.

Do you mind reblogging the chapter 1 too? :( I have searched high and low for it.

Big fan of bluebird and your love for aki <3

Thank you so much! Lots of love :3

OHHH ANON T_T this is the sweetest message ever, thank you!!! not the spam in the grocery store gdldhaksuaja I'm sorry for ruining your shopping trips 💔 it actually means a lot to me that after so much time, you still remember so many details about the fic LOL and now I do feel kind of wistful about it!!! because I really enjoyed working on all that world building!! It makes me happy to know that it left such a lasting impression on you 🥺💗

the discourse was so silly, it wasn't over bluebird specifically but just over dark content as a whole, which I have since gone back to writing anyway because I have deranged writing tendencies and I'm a glutton for punishment 💀 I guess I could just post chapter three this weekend since it's already written and I've been saying I would anyway. a lot of it is SUPER awkward because they're teenagers (lol), but I promise that toward the end it returns to that sweet traumatic worldbuilding 🫡 SO I'll try to get that up if I survive the work week!!

thanks so much for sending this msg 🫶 I reblogged chapter one earlier today also, hope you enjoy!! sending you love!!!! 💖💖💖

[thundercrack]

3 9 13!!

Thank u Devyn!!!!

3. What's a book you read recently that lived up to your expectations?

Tracks by Louise Erdrich! I had previously read Love Medicine by her which I liked a lot. Tracks, maybe because of the time period (early 1900s) I liked even better. I gave it an 8/10.

9. What's a genre you're hoping to try more?

Hmmm I think I need to try harder to read books that make me think for real (idk if this counts as a genre). They're connected but on one hand, I think this means I should get more serious about reading theory and engaging with it. On the other, I think this also means reading more in the veins of some of the stuff I read in school - more topical (and critical) nonfiction (usually on history, sometimes on religion).

My problem with like... independently reading more thinky books - and even with many novels at times - is I really want to talk about them or argue about them and I just don't know how to do that except via audio msg to my college friends which is just not the same... Idk. I can write out my thoughts online and it just always feels self-serving bc it feels so much more serious, AND I just don't get as much out of it. Also sometimes they're boring and I need a push to get through em. Idk. Who knows.

13. Any bookish goals for 2023?

Not really.... Read some more of the stuff I already own so I can either keep or get rid of it LOL (which I'm already doing a better job of thus far). I sort of just read whatever I feel like at any given moment and if that falls into a trend...

[seijorhi]

asks <33

misc stuff that piled up overnight

BRO YOUR VOICE??? SOOTHING!!!! CALMS RUSHING RIVERS!!! YOUR VOICE IS IMMACULATE now i want a series of rhi reading snippets of your works KSHGLS

🥺🥺🥺

rhi!! i haven’t told you in a hot minute but i hope you know how loved you are 🥺💛

ILY TOO!! nonnie pls <33

me, Hatori: there’s three things that can hold his attention for hours at a time; the construction site across the street back home, the volleyball Tooru had given him on his first birthday, and the sound of RHI’S MF VOICE!1!1!1 you’re so sexy… and for WHY? -🐦

bby hfdjhvfjdkJSKFHDJK 🥺 you're gonna make me blush.

omg hi lovely c: idk if u remember meee but i was that one anon before who mentioned oika being in disguise for literally all other charas and that when it doubt its oika c: y do i feel like ive heard ur voice b4 KSNMDMDND LIKE NO WEIRDNESS BUT IDK — ngl its expected but also kinda not??? idk to throw it back from the other anon, it was scary to msg u the first time - IDK IF ITS LIKE ANXIETY, NERVES OR LIKE THE VIBES BUT IT FEELS INTIMIDATING. but ily lots anyway, bc aussie + oikawa = me and like we’re now besties for life just from these two simple facts. and yes u have a say - yes or yes c: TAKE CARE LOVE 💕✨ (and oikawa is still always the answer, no seijoh until nxt yr? hahaha i cant read my eyes r closed i cannot c - ok jks aside, imagine jan 1 hits and its just all seijoh 🤧🤧)

you're very cute nonnie hehe. yes ofc we can be besties <33 and who knows, maybe it will be a very seijoh new year ;)

Rhi you do not sound at all like I thought you would 😦😦 Idk how to explain it but you sound a lot younger than I thought you would????But your voice is very relaxing maybe you should read out one of your favourite fics for us Jkjk Unless.... 👀👀 Also I don't think you come off as mean or rude at all?? I think you're sweet and very funny (especially your responses)Then again we're all internet strangers so take every opinion with a grain of salt - @artemis32

<33 i will take 'younger' and 'relaxing' ghfjdkvbfjdk

and thank you bby!! ilysm 💕 also i would not hold your breath for the full fic, trying to record less than a minute nearly killed me hahaha

I don’t think you’re cold and mean at all lol (tho idk how much that’s worth coming from a stranger on the internet) You set clear boundaries with anons and don’t take shit which I think is very valid ✨

thank you, i try to be nice on here!!!

no that’s definitely australian,, nsw or vic by the patterns involved

i will neither confirm nor deny this. very sus. fghrejksdjhfjk

[timetravelstudies]

whats a good starting point for a guy who wants to get into led zeppelin!!

HEHEHEHEEHEHE… hello anon, come in come in….. sit on this nice cozy chair dont mind the leather straps on the armrests heheeh……..

ok in all seriousness. And ill try to keep this as short as i can. theeee lz experience is hearing them play live, rather than the studio recordings. This may sound weird to hear from a guy born 20 years after lz stopped doing shows lol but theres a LOT of material out there that u can watch/listen to if u wanna get (what i assume is a fraction of) the experience. Probably the easiest thing to find and in best quality (though in my exp the quality of online streams is still atrocious, maybe theres some hq torrents though?) is “the song remains the same”, a concert film of three dates they played at MSG in 1973. but theres also videos floating around of their concerts at Royal Albert Hall 1970 and Earls court 1975 (you can check yt for these) plus a few odds and ends here and there (im a big fan of this tv appearance in france 1969, though this was super early on so their performance “style” isnt yet well defined, esp wrt plant, but the actual playing is still peak imo)

as far of audio-only live recordings go, theres of course the album version of TSRTS, the BBC sessions album (of various radio appearances they did through the years), and the album called “how the west was won” with live versions of many of their more popular songs taken from a couple dates in california in i believe 1972. These are all on spotify or yt or wherever else u listento music. Theyre also really well mastered (and remastered, and re remastered…) bc Jimmy Page is anal like that. So even if theyre live theyre great quality and u can hear every instrument distinctly.

ALSO theres like a million lz bootlegs out there, which is like its own niche subfandom(?). A bootleg is an illegal recording that fans made back in the 70s and then spread around and/or sold for money. the digital versions of many of these are available on yt and archive.org but theres also a huge marked of selling them, the og 70s vinyls are especially prized. idk much about lz bootlegs bc i never could listen to a single one all the way through as all the noise bothers my brain lol so if anyone reading this does and has tips please share<3

I spoke about live stuff bc in my opinion, and also according to members of lz, fans, various music critic type people, basically everyone agrees lol lz studio songs were just kind of the first iteration of what would then mutate and stretch into a more loose, longer, live experience. Imo lz, studio or live, is some of the best music ever made point blank period, but its definitely not for everyone, in that you have to be able to get in that classic rock/prog rock* type of mood of songs lasting anywhere from 6 minutes studio to 35 minutes live, and taking you on this weird journey with ebbs and flows, rather than having a tight structure that is easier to follow and listen to like all pop music ever. i mean this in an entirely value neutral way: a pop song, whether from 1965 or 2015, is easy to listen to bc IT carries YOU through the listening experience, whether you want to or not, whereas for instance a 20 min version of dazed and confused live requires you to willingly be there. Its not work or effort, exactly (at least not to me) but it definitely requires a different type of attention.

and btw maybe you knew all this already lol but i said it incase you or anyone else who ends up reading this doesn’t know a lot about rock

ANYWAY, of course theres also the actual studio albums. i dont think theres any specific way you should listen To them, like my friend has been going thru them chronologically but back in the day when i was just getting into lz i just jumped from one song or album to another as the mood struck me (which is how hoth ended up being the first lz album i ever heard… i think itd finished torrenting first and i liked the cover and took it on my ipod on holiday with me, and now its my favorite album of all time & engraved on my very soul lol). If you want MY recs of the stuff i like best, i have this recruitment playlist where i put a mix of my fave lz songs and the ones i think are must-listen for any new fan.

Ok so i ended up writing a bunch anyway LMAO. ty for the ask lmk if u have any specific questions ❤️

[erwinsvow]

What comes after seven? ATE🤭 Your fic (I can’t afford to actually become a jj girl you need to stop) and drabbles were a part of my self care/wind down process and I’m so grateful for your talent🫶

Work was so cute!! I have a few little side quests but today was tutoring (my favourite) he’s the sweetest kid and tries so hard I melt

What do you do? I thought I read you’re a medical student AND you work?? Is it a residency type thing? Either way thoughts and prayers to you that’s so impressive and amazing

On a more serious note maybe this is dumb but I just feel like you’re so kind and I’m sure very busy and you’re just always so quick to answer?? And I’m just always rambling and I feel so bad for clogging up people’s timelines and your page

Your kindness and hospitality (on your blog lmao) is so so appreciated but you really don’t have to!! I love chatting but there’s no need to feel obligated in any way shape or form to keep interacting or anything

I do love that I’m finally making friends in this fandom though so thank you💓

(I’m a cancer)

- 💓

you are SOOOOO SWEET omg. im so so so glad you liked it that genuinely means the world to me <3333and omg being a part of your winding down process stop. i write for myself but knowing others like what i write makes me feel so silly goofy inside. if u ever want a real fic for an idea you have and not just my conversation/drabble reply pls let me know id be more than happy to try and put it into words!

omg that sounds so nice! i used to tutor too we are so linked! im glad it was good😌he sounds adorable! what age do u tutor/what subject? i tutored college bio lol

also yes hahaa so im starting school in the summer and i updated it in advance because ik once it starts I probably wont write as much any more :( rn im a doctor assistant which is ~crazy~ and its 12 hour shifts so once im home it is me myself & i time (hence why i answer so quick, im always scrolling because i dont get to have my phone during work 😞)

you’re not rambling at all i am so glad you stop by to chat!!! it feels so sweet n personal there’s plenty of people following me here n now im getting to know one of them! i love seeing msgs from you! i have been using the tiny text so it takes up less space lol i be rambling talking to you!! & omg please don’t thank me srsly i love interacting🥹 like i said i was always the anon messaging wanting to chat n i just want to make everyone feel welcome. ur the best for sending me msgs! i 🩵 our check ins

also stop… im a cancer moon. SO LINKED. ik you probably saw but virgo sun & taurus rising. hbu??? 💓

also also i posted a bunch of rafe stuff today. would love to know ur thoughts!!!!!!🫶🏽

[queen--kenobi]

Hi Lady Kenobi, this is Anon 🐸 ( irony of anon trying to differentiate myself from other anons ) I hope one day u be able to differentiate me from other anons just from my writing style !

Dam, It take so much shaky courage to type & send an anon msg (sweats)

🍍🍊🍇🌶️

🌶️ -the place I’m sitting at typing to you has this phase ichi-go-ichi-e

I would still ship you with Tymon L. Why? Because why not choose someone who actually beat silently Aemond or any guys first to everything ( practically actually the final one saving the female protagonist, being the first not second person to wish her happy birthday & meal & gift ) He plans everything practical logistics u need in life ( coffee lunch invites u to family lunch ) & also get rid of all your adversaries that stands in your way ever ! Although he is hurting so much inside ( the letters ) the only thing he lets u see outwardly is his grin when he is finally reunited with u. True there is a possibility of him disappointing u but there is also that possibly of him of throwing himself in the face of danger ; u having a chance to experience such a silent selfless act of love to protect u. He would be good for you my lady. Sorry for still speaking up for the underdog but I guess I’m a type of tymon lannister myself, a rare breed of a curveball. I know u hold the pen to his fate on paper. It’s a god like power u have. I don’t want him to die in the next episode nor tragedy to befall him in this fanfic of yours I plead ! ( audience plea ) If there’s a fan request would u also consider creating a totally original new female OC that matches his badassness, smartness, craziness & devotion. I know a love triangle is always a good read but a love quadrant is also a novel idea too! And maybe Elayna would realise how she has always taken him for granted all her life.

I love how your tumblr friends would tease u with brat & their comments make me lol many times. Such wit “love” & community spirit

On Starlight Kau’ra, Leena “It doesn’t go away, some parts of her doesn’t want it to. That’s fine. She can learn to live with it” this line stays with me forever. I wanna know … as time passes as all things does, how is she doing … ? The reason I ask is so I can apply this answer for myself

And also thanks for your selfie. You wouldn’t need to on tumblr. You look great btw. Like the phantom that never needs to be unmasked, It’s your writing and voice that touches the soul.

I guess the difficulties I face in life is still there, which I guess don’t we all do, that’s why we are all on tumblr. But your blog has helped me such that in the need to fulfilling the mundane tasks of everyday to survive, like the netflix I watch on tv, there is also an anticipation to a new episode /chapter here - yours truly anon 🐸

Anon. I really appreciate that you've taken the time to not just read my writing but also talk about it. That always makes a writer's day. I love the questions you have about Kau'ra and Leena

But. I'm not trying to be mean, and I do genuinely appreciate you sending in something for an ask game. That always makes my day.

All that being said. It makes me very uncomfortable that you ship me with Tymon. I'm fairly open about Tymon being absolutely awful and how he's only going to get worse. He is going to hurt Elayna physically and do so often. He basically tortures her at a point in the fic

I don't want to make you scared to send nice messages to people with this. But I do owe it to you, and myself, to say when something makes me uncomfortable and crosses a line. And this does that. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm being honest with you

I hope you understand

[astranva]

hi nova,, im feeling good. my school ends late on thursdays just because but it was such a chill day. about what happened with ur friends and seeing harry,, i totally understand exactly how ur feeling ! like the not gatekeeping part and just wanting to see ur number one idol up close. im from singapore so we dont usually have very famous people from the US have concerts here (BUT MAROON 5 & GUNS N ROSES ARE GONNA PERFORM HERE NEAR THE END OF THE YEAR OMGG CANT WAITT) . anygayss, i wanted to share more about who i listen to and what is currently going on with ppl my age and them using tiktok. nothing against ppl who use tiktok bc i do use the app myself !

it’s just that i listen to underground artists and mainstream artists that dont get enough hype and attention nowadays . artists like bring me the horizon, royal blood, declan mckenna etc. yes theyre british 😭😭. so last year bmth trended on tiktok with their song ‘can you feel my heart’, and my schoolmates know i listen to bands like them and that i was the only one in the batch that listens to rock music. i would get comments like “not to be offensive but ur music taste is really overrated, like nobody else likes rock music, u dont have to get excited over them”, and it crushed my heart. so for me to get really pissed that the ppl who judged me for my music taste, only for them to suddenly like the same music BC TIKTOK TRENDED THEM MANY MANY YEARS AFTER, was very reasonable, at least in my opinion . and they had the audacity to ask me “u know this song thats been trending on tiktok? omg its so nice like wow” and LIKE STFU I KNEW THEM FIRST 😭😭

thank u for taking the time to read this lmaoooo im very sorry

and i hope ur day will get better and u SHALL meet harry styles soon 😌😌

– sister 💫

you’re so cute, i’m currently squeezing you in a hug!

i get what you’re saying about the tiktok bit so much! i’ve always been looked down upon for listening to 1d then harry, and then watermelon sugar and suddenly everyone was using it and i was like ???? but now with harry’s house it’s much much worse because almost the entire album is viral, which is great for harry but it sucks because the same people who literally bully you for your choice in musicians, are also the ones using his music and in my case, actually getting to see him lol (2 of my friends excluded because at least they were nice about it).

it sucks, but oh well. that’s life lol. i just hope that the numbers translate to harry expanding with his shows more and calming down with the 15 show in msg 😀

thank you, bub xxx

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[burningdarkfire]

books i read in dec 2021

[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to msg me and ask   about individual ones if u want a full review or ask for my goodreads!!] 

i tried to do a challenge in december where i finished a book on every weekday and i succeeded until dec 16 after which i gave up and read at roughly my regular pace 🤷‍♂️

these violent delights - micah nemerever ★★★★★ (romance thriller)

there are a lot of stunning lines in this book but funnily enough the one that gave me the largest gut punch was in the acknowledgement where micah nemerever wrote that “what this story records, ultimately, is the deep fear i once carried about my loneliness and what it could do.” this book knows the old and ugly parts of myself that i haven’t even thought about in years because i knew it was necessary to grow out of them. this book understands what it means to feel that if i love someone, i want them dead. i’ll be thinking about it for a while to come

graceling - kristin cashore ★★★★★ (YA fantasy)

i’m so happy to finally reread this! this was a foundational book for me and it’s aged spectacularly. katsa and po are one of my favourite couples of all time and katsa herself is everything i wish i could be

network effect - martha wells ★★★★★ (scifi)

i only had to read seven entries in the series but i am finally in love with murderbot! the payoff of the longer word count of network effort is so good and worthwhile. i loved seeing how murderbot’s relationships with all the recurring characters have grown over time and parts of this book were just so sweet. definitely bumps the series up to a “must-recommend” for me

fireheart tiger - aliette de bodard ★★★★☆ (fantasy novella)

it’s tempting to say that this novella is mostly metaphor but tbh i think that doesn’t quite do it justice. there’s an obvious abstract level of meaning-making, yes, but that’s true for any romance, because the systems we live under also impact the love and understanding we have with each. i liked the complexity here!

the last wish - andrzej sapkowski, trans. danusia stok ★★★★☆ (fantasy short story collection)

this book was weird because i never wanted to pick it up while reading it but i still think about it like every other day even a month later. i find this original geralt to be interesting, much more so than the show, and i’m definitely going to read more of the series (i also adore dandelion, which honestly surprised me)

catboy - eric walters ★★★★☆ (contemporary children’s lit)

this was a super cute book by a local author that has all of the usual life lessons about multiculturalism, caring for others, helping your parents, how condos are evil, etc. y’know, the usual!

fugitive telemetry - martha wells ★★★★☆ (scifi novella)

middle of the pack for murderbot novellas i think. not much to say about it

the magicians - lev grossman ★★★☆☆ (fantasy)

quentin coldwater has to be the quintessential unlikable protagonist. he’s so fucking miserable and this book is so goddamn awful to read, but like, i get it. i get why he is the way he is, and worse, i can relate. really this book is wonderfully written and i think succeeds very much in doing what it wants to do, but that makes the reading experience so painful lol

aptitude - cooper shrivastava ★★★☆☆ (scifi short story) the wonderful stag, or the courtship of red elsie - kathleen jennings ★★★☆☆ (fantasy short story) now we paint worlds - matthew kressel ★★★☆☆ (scifi short story) black leg - glen hirshberg ★★★☆☆ (horror short story)

the above were four tor shorts that i read while struggling to finish the magicians. honestly none of them stood out to me so they don’t get individual reviews

queen of volts - amanda foody ★★★☆☆ (YA fantasy)

this was an OK end to a trilogy that was really frustrating overall. i’ve kept reading these books despite the problems because the world was so interesting, but in this final book nothing stood out (for better or worse). i’ll probably avoid amanda foody’s books in the future though - it’s obvious her writing style isn’t for me because i find it painfully overdramatic

the kind worth killing - peter swanson ★★☆☆☆ (thriller)

i don’t even like strangers on a train that much but it feels like an insult to associate this book with it. just a typical whatever thriller

the love hypothesis - ali hazelwood ★★☆☆☆ (romance)

sorry i’m a huge snob and i couldn’t deal with how trope-y this entire book was 💀 i can’t stand main characters who refuse to communicate and i also hate reading anything but especially romance/porn that makes a huge deal out of the characters’ size difference (and the cringiness of that conversation about virginity haunts me). also the way i literally could not stop thinking about adam driver/kylo ren while reading. no thanks!

ace of spades - faridah àbíké-íyímídé ★★☆☆☆ (YA thriller)

this is literally how we fall apart by katie zhao but with the opposite problem when it came to intersectionality. all of my complaints are the same: the writing is childish, the characters aren’t believable, and the overlooking of class as a factor landed wrong. i wanted to DNF this so badly but i kept hoping it would get better since this book has been so hyped on social media. nope!

[doebt]

UM HI this may be like. weird but ive been meaning to msg u for the last couple like weeks actually bc both of us are getting ready to move out and grappling w the Extreamly Epic Implications Of That Decision 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 and i just wanted to say that ur posts abt it have made me feel less alone and that has made a big difference for me so ! just stopping by to say thank u and Solidarity Tee Em……. i hope this turns out to be everything u need and want it to be 🥺❣️

OMG....😭😭😭 NOOO not weird at all omg this is sooo good to hear actually. its crazy how many ppl in my life rn (read: mutuals) who are also experiencing the Mortifying Ordeal of Moving Out rn..like we really are all in this together huh. its so hard though especially when your like family situation is wonky and ESPECIALLY after the unreal experience that was isolation last yr AND in the midst of the pandemmy that is STILL happening??? LIKE HELP USSS LOL

but yeah this means soo much tysm for telling me ❣️ my biggest hope w posting all this bs about my life is that it makes someone feel less alone or a little better abt stuff which seems crazy bc its like super specific stuff LOL but im glad it actually works out that way sometimes <3

[staysuki]

to 🍕 : yes im female girl woman eveything yes

i liked s1 so much that i shipped reader with hyunjin instead 😃👍 lIKE IDK jeongin u dcurb it Y^Y u blind af man but without his obliviousness, then there wouldnt be any story lol and i liked readers character there 🤩🤩🤩

aND THERES THIS SCENE I CAN NVR FORGET ABT:::: i forgot her name but the toxic gf one texted reader "i hate u" but reader replied with "the feeling's not mutual, idc abt u" AND BRUH I WAS LIKE ok fck jeongin and hyunjin,,, im marrying reader SGFOUAYSOFSA

IK U WANT FEEDBACKS ABT S2 BUT I HAVENT STARTED IT BECAUSE IT ISNT FINISH YET :"> and i kent read long fics now cuz school is out to get me 🔪 PLS SAKSAKIN NIYO NA LANG AKO (🍕 this means 'pls stab me' im translating bc ily)

ASH WHY R U THERE BY URSELF Y^Y but tnx for dj-ing hhehehhahh is felix singing live 😱😱😱 ??????

🍕 we can have our second date on minho's resto 🤩🤩🤩 u dont have to worry abt penises,,, except maybe look out for ash im sure shes wearing dick themed clothes & accessories 😭

bUT EXCUSE ME I SRSLY FEEL LIKE YOU (yes u ash) used to be one of the artistic kids in school who was always forced to join competitions XD lIKE U CUT UR HAIR ,, UR PENMANSHIP IS bOoTyfULL and ur drawings r cute 🥺👉👈

y dont u hav a nose 😞 and the chastity ring 😭😭😭 wtf ash 😭 but the bananas 😋 i cant get over you being so lonely on the corner,,, is felix on bathroom break because of all the intense live singing?? HAAHHHAHHAH

your dick drawing is so detailed while mines literally looks like -> olo ,,,, just that ; no details

and i realized all my asks are so fkng long lmao,,,, i should prob speak less 😃👍 but im only like this to you (???) MAYBE BECAUSE I CAN FEEL UR CHAOTIC ENERGY OR SMTHNG ??? like idk the way i type changes depending on how i see the writer?? one author im also talkative with has a calm vibe so i barely use caps on her asks, tho my msgs are also chaotic XD

ok bye

- bs

i love how i'm just the msngr between you and 🍕anon now 💓🙏 i love modern day romance.

JSHWJSHSS and yeah, i loved season 1 a lot too, it was the perfect bite-sized smau 😩 shouldn't have ruined it ih8myself. also i would say that jeongin's season 1 smau perfectly embodies my blog and the way i write but honestly, i think PP HEART™️ took that spot now. I LOVED WRITING THE EX-GIRLFRIEND CONFRONTATION PART TOO!! I wanted to deviate from the standard doormat type of y/n so I made her as annoying as possible (but also charming). AND YEAH. EVERYONE WAS #HyunjinBestBoy SO I JUST HAD TO MAKE AN ALTERNATE ENDING. It was fun though, everyone was pro-Juyeon until Hyunjin came in the picture. I like to take it as a compliment that I write characters and chemistry well 😌 or everyone is just so easily swayed by charming men idk.

that's understandable! i wanted to finish season 2 as soon as possible too but i ended up making it longger than intended. dw, it's almost finished i swear 😭💔 and i'll be waiting for a complete 10 page detailed analysis and commentary review on it once you finish jkjk. also 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

i'm in the corner watching over seo changbin so he doesn't flirt with y/n while felix is singing, boss' orders 😩🙏.

time to write about a minho fic where he owns a restaurant then 🤥 i'll make it boob-themed this time JKJK

AND NO BUT U R CLOSE. I used to be the textbook nerd, I spent so much time in the library, I'd stay there after class until it closed 😤. I did join a bunch of competitions but they are mostly acad-based and I was also in the student council (guess which position hehe). I also joined some pageants but let's move past that yeah(?). But unfortunately, i was NOT one of the art kids 😔 unless you count theatre and dance as art then yes.

ALSO PLEASE, i love how you keep coming back to the drawing 💀. Felix is refreshing his vocal cords 💔

I used to vandalize desk chairs back in school and I'd draw oddly detailed penises— i was a cHiLD back tHEN OKAY

ALSO DW, i like long 🥺👉👈 (all kinds of). Dw about shortening it or anything, i'll make up for it by using smaller text and also using a readmore for my reply hehe 👻peekaboo👻 or smth idfk.

ALSO HOW DARE YOU THINK I'M CHAOTIC 🤥😡🤬😫😝😩🤬🤬 DOES ME DRAWING DIFFERENT VARIATIONS OF PENISES NOT SCREAM "chill, mature, proper, classy lady" TO YOU 🕺 i am an artissê✨ but i feel special that you're only like this with me 🥺👉👈🕺🙈✨😭😩🤬🤬😝😫✨😔

[sanctifiedtongues]

hello n welcome to my blog !

i hate carrds. moving images are the devil

travis/travie

20

white

gentile

usamerican

tme

abled

he/him and ze/hir please use interchangeably :)

bisexual, trans, and pretending at being butch, not necessarily in that order!

Internet Communist. do not come talking to me about how much 'tankies' suck you are not affiliated with me

some of my interests r

natural sciences, biology, animals and plants etc

poetry n literature-i love words!!! if u have a writeblr or just write in general, please tag me in it bc i would love to read it :) #aesthetic txt contains some words i like

pretty pictures- i'm very aesthetically driven. under my #aesthetics, #photography, #art, and #fashion tag, some specific aesthetics i have tagged are for flowers (#watch me while i bloom), water (#in its own bright grace) and human connection (#intimacy is undefined)

lots of Shows and Movies. on a black sails kick rn

i post about star wars and star trek on my sideblog!!! same for supernatural

films (fancy this time)-im open to watching a lot but i particularly enjoy horror, sci-fi and drama :) feel free to msg and ask for my letterboxd if u would like!

i used to be a primarily bandom blog so. fall out boy n some related bands will be here lol

plenty of other shit i might have failed to mention

i had an extensive dni at one point but honestly i'll just block if i dont want you here, it's that simple lol. listing all my political and personal positions here seems corny. i would ask that you not follow if you're under 18 though, present mutuals excluded.

i tag a lot of common triggers as #insert trigger name, no slashes or anything. i don't tag posts about drugs. very infrequently tag lgbt-related slurs lol

i try my best to include image ids and video transcriptions from the notes of posts i reblog (which has gotten harder since tumblr has updated) but my aesthetics tag is for the most part inaccessible. im slowly going through it and trying to update with described and undescribed.

i do not tag nsfw jokes pretty much all of the time. i do tag full body nudity as #nudity and shit that's actual porn as #nsfw (mutuals can also contact me for my actual nsfw blog if they so desire) but other than that it's no holds barred. also sometimes i ignore those guidelines idk sometimes i do not care sorry lol

please feel free to send an ask or message if u need anything tagged or if u just wanna talk about something!! i'm not the best at replying but i love talking with people about many different subjects!!

i got some sideblogs

@luminarastims - stim blog, very infrequently used

@castielsbong - spn sideblog

@autistickrisdreemurr - utdr sideblog

@transgenderlobes - star trek + star wars sideblog

thank u 4 reading all this! please send a 🦭 if u have done so!

[paynomindtomyidiocy]

Everyone’s always focused on the negative things about themselves (and I had a thought about this story today) - so this is a self positivity post about how I can be a pretty cool person

Reblog with a story about something cool or admirable you’ve done, if you want <33333

I don’t even really care if anyone reads this but this is basically just me saying that I think I can be pretty cool and flipping off my self hatred, which can get fucked

Alright so story time (I promise there’s a story lol - I’ll put the part where it actually starts in bold)

One of the things I genuinely like about myself is my ability to take literally everything in good spirits like I am a fucking superhero you could say the nastiest shit to me and I would find a way to not care

I actually really really like that I don’t let other people’s opinions affect me - sometimes I feel bad about it because the flip side is that someone I love could say something hurtful to me and I find it hard to care (at least consciously, maybe I internalise it) - but most of the time it’s great

Cause I don’t really get mad (if I’m mad at you it’s probably because you’re my sister and ur doing something annoying on purpose and I’m still kind of mad from the last time you got mad at me for literally no reason)

Ok, before this evolves into more of a psychological analysis I’ll get back to the topic xD

So, I also love trolling in response to people that troll me! It’s so fun u should try it sometime (unless the msg is creepy in which case you should report because you should not engage with paedophiles, potentially dangerous people, etc.)

Basically, when I got snapchat (not that long ago I only did it because of lockdown), I showed up in a lot of people’s quick add, right? Friends of friends (of friends), etc

A lot of guys who knew other people I know added me and I didn’t engage because I didn’t know them, bUt

(and this is where the story actually starts)

One guy responded to my story (my usual shit, something about how I was dying from the amount of homework) with ‘didn’t ask don’t care tbh’ (I took a pic of the msgs on another device but most of them are saved)

And I like said the usual stuff about how he could’ve just thought I was weird moved on and how he must be pretty self confident to assume I cared about his opinion

And he responded with two (not very good) memes and was like it’s a joke 😭😭😭 mfs so sensitive

And so he proceeded to try and pick a fight and I had nothing to do so I just proceeded to (calmly) analyse why the fact that he dmed me made no sense

Anywayyy it got to the point where I started slipping into my normal self deprecating humour stuff and eventually I made a joke and he was like ahaha

Fast forward to the next time he posts on his story, and I respond with the same thing he said before

And then he quoted me and vice versa and it was cool

And now it’s a thing that happens sometimes

And honestly I think I’m pretty cool for that like I met a troll and turned them into a sort of internet friend

And I still don’t really like him that much because it was kind of a dick move

But yeah it just made me admire myself a little which is always something everyone should do more ;)

Reblog with a story about something cool or admirable you’ve done if you want ;D

[tillman]

what should i read 4 arthurian legend idk where to start

ok hold on lemme find one of my other answers to this ask for u :-) im too tired to write out the whole thing rn

yunder the cut . rip mobile users LOL

i think the best two starting options involve the same strategy of “pick a knight you like the most and consume all the content you can find on them until you get bored/think of another knight and repeat” and its as simple as “do you want to start with sir gawain or do you not know who you want to start with.”

sir gawain i think is the best starting knight if you wanna go the route of reading as much as u can about one and moving on, since theres a LOT of varied content and hes just in a lot. hes important! anyways the first recommendation i have to start with is Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. its a wonderful piece of poetry about a homoerotic beheading game, getting a movie this summer! its fucking gorgeous and a really good introduction if youve never read this old of texts before. i have a few different links so you can take your pick of what you prefer :-)

heres it in the original middle english, its beautiful and if you get the beat down sounds fucking gorgeous but i understand how hard it is to get through if youve never read through it before.

lou recomends Raffels translation above all others which i kinda have to agree with. heres part one and heres part two of that.

and the other link i have directly on hand atm is tolkiens translation which ive skimmed before and it seems really solid.

if you dont want to start with a short and tender christmas party, consider another text most arthuriana fans will consider a must read. its a bit more intimidating than sgatgks poetry but like. hey. its Sir Malory’s Le Morte D’arthur.

this is more on the level of most of the story things youll find for arthuriana and a good starting point to get an overview of a lot of major plot points and characters that show up time and time again in the legends, all of the major knights are covered through malory’s own spin on them and he tries to cover a lot of older tales in his weird fanfiction.

the text can be weird ESPECIALLY if you arent used to middle english since he …. used some weird as fuck words? even for the time. but thats malory.

I highly recommend, if you can get a copy, Kieth Baines modern retelling of Le Morte, it rewords things to make more sense to those used to a more modern prose and while it takes out some of the nuance of some scenes, its way easier to pick up and read. were working on a full scan of it atm actually but the book of arthur is up in our shared drive :-) ill shove a link down here for u

heres the first bit of baines rendition. honestly if u can find a copy for cheap grab it is a fun time

heres the pdf i use for the full text, warning for how weird its structured? its long paragraphs with no quotes around text but if you have no problems with that go for it. heres book one and heres book two.

from there, theres a ton of different options you can follow, but again i think the least overwhelming way to go about it is pick a knight you like and read whatever seems fun that has them in it !

best choices include gawain again, the marriage of sir gawain and dame ragnelle is fun, l’atre perilleux is so fucking wild and just a fun time, the turke and sir gawain has gawain playing tennis? like what more do you need

lancelot has a decent collection of old stories including the entire vulgate cycle (my favorite piece of arthurian lit, im working on scanning the entire english translation ;-)), lancelot and the hart with the white foot, though i havent been able to find a FULL translation, is wonderful and with that the lancelot collection of old stories is a lot of fun the dutch loved him, if you have like 10 bucks to spare, Lancelot and the lord of the distant isles is on amazon for cheap and retells the book of galehaut section of the vulgate and its . so good. please care about galehaut.

tristan as wild as he is is also a really good choice for how popular the Tristan and Isolde legend was in europe. you can find a ton of versions of it, though i prefer the german one by gottfried von strassburg, another amazing one is the povest o’tryschane which is a slavic take on the legend that weirdly throws sections of the vulgate and some italian romances in? i adore it either way.

uhmmm some more off the cuff recommendations include Troyes four romances and also Perceval. as much as i bully troyes knight of the cart, knight of the lion, and knight of the grail are some of my favorite words. skip cliges if youre doing that though it sucks so bad. troyes hated his version of tristan and isolde so much he wrote cliges. that alone should keep you from it. eric and enide is ok but eric sucks SO HARD. i hate that bitch.

more modern but tennysons Idylls of the king? fucking stellar. i recently got a copy and its really gorgeous poetry. kinda like le morte in having a good overview of key events in the texts and some notable characters so this works as a good jumping off point

and finally one i cant really speak on much due to my preference of the romances, but i have many good friends who say the welsh sources are REALLY REALLY good and worth checking out :-) the mabinogion mainly, but a lot of the scattered poetry is really fun!

for finding pdfs for some of the ones i just named, u can check out my doc of whatever sources i have on hand. im missing quiet a few but i got most of the ones i recommend at least io3hewt. heres the link to that. ill post a link to the vulgate when i can finish up scanning the prose merlin !

anyways mwah feel free to msg me if u have questions im insane and like researching this stuff for hours and am willing to find out any information